The Rich Roll Podcast - The D Word: Let’s talk About Death

Episode Date: December 10, 2015

Last episode we learned how How Not To Die. Today we contemplate the flip side: How To Die. Everybody dies. Everybody. Of course we know this to be true. But when was the last time you had a direct experience with someone in the grips of the undeniable reality that afflicts us all without exception? Most people have never even seen a dead person, let alone held the hand of someone expiring their last breath. Why is the one thing we all share in common seemingly deleted from our daily human experience? Because  our culture is carefully crafted to obscure, whitewash, sanitize and obviate every unpalatable aspect of the frightening reality that scares the shit out of us more than anything else. As a result, we sleepwalk through life pretending it doesn't exist. Subconsciously, we might even harbor the completely insane thought that somehow, some way, we will be the exception to the rule and find a way to escape such distasteful finality. Then, when death rears it's unfamiliar head (it always does), we recoil. We get uncomfortable. Paralyzed by fear and morbidity, we stumble with our words. Lacking the capacity to even have an open and honest conversation about it, we retreat into a shame spiral. Death breeds fear. Fear breeds resistance. Resistance breeds denial. And denial never helped anyone. This is not a healthy relationship with death. So let go of the fear. Free yourself of the resistance. And let's form a new relationship with death. One that not only acknowledges it, but embraces it as our most potent communal experience. One that guilds our lives with meaning. One that allows us to be more present in our lives. One that unites rather than divides. One that provides fertile soil for gratitude. For me, these concepts are not academic. As I type, Julie's 92-year old father is on his deathbed. It is unlikely he will live to see the weekend. And so for the last several days, our lives have been on hold as our children and extended family have gathered around Larry Mathis to celebrate his remarkable life. We've told stories. Sung songs. Held his hand. Kissed his forehead. Said our goodbyes as he slips out of conscious awareness. This week we've talked a lot about death. This podcast is an extension of that ongoing conversation. Peace + Plants, Rich

Hey everybody, what's happening? It's Rich Roll. I'm your host. And this is the Rich Roll Podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in today. I have a very interesting topic to discuss with my erstwhile co-host, Julie Pyatt. Hi, Rich Roll. How are you? I'm well. Thanks for having me on.

Back on for another edition of AMA, Ask Me Anything. That's right. It's exciting. It is exciting. Before we get into that, though, we have a couple milestones to celebrate today. That's right, we do. This is episode 200 of the podcast. Can you believe that? 200 episodes. That's incredible. Wow. All the way back from that first podcast episode that we recorded in the warehouse in Kauai when we were living a yurt and I had no idea what I was doing. It's come a long way and really proud to not only still be doing this, but growing it and continuing to always improve. And it's been quite a journey. So thank you everybody out there who

has taken this leap of faith with us. It's been quite the ride. At the same time, we also just surpassed our three-year anniversary on the podcast as well. Wow, that's crazy. So that's pretty cool as well. So thank you so much to everybody who has been along for the ride. I know. And who knew? I can still remember the first episode with the rain coming down in sheets and the mosquitoes eating my ankles alive, like literally drawing blood. Well, the echo. We're on a concrete floor in a warehouse that has like a ceiling that's like 70 feet above us. And you just hear the whole thing like echoing around. It was hilarious. That was crazy. I think we've stayed true to the spirit of that original

show. Of course, it's become a little bit more professional and we have, you know, sponsors and things like that. So it's a little bit different. But I think the core of it, the essence, the spirit of it has remained. Yeah, and it's so cool. I mean, meeting people too, who have been with us from the very beginning, who began listening on Kauai, and it's such a real time, intimate experience to be able to share that with people. And it's just an incredible blessing that, you know, it's still happening and growing and that it's turned into this just incredible medium of sharing energy and connecting with so many beautiful people. What's also cool is how podcasting in general has blown up.

Like when, I mean, I would hardly consider, you know, the beginning of this show to be, I don't consider myself to be an early adopter and podcasting. It's been around for a long time. Yeah.

You were already listening to tons of shows, but sort of early adopter, like because it preceded the kind of explosion that has occurred in the last maybe year of podcasting. So now it's become, you know, sort of a much more mainstream thing than it was originally. And that's really fun to be part of that as well. And it's a cool community of people. I love being on other people's podcasts and having other podcasters on my show.

So, yeah. It's a great medium of communicating for sure. Here's to another two two year three years three years more episodes hopefully so it's great uh yeah and everyone just i think it's important just to add right now so if anybody doesn't doesn't know this rich has a dedicated app which you can download and then get access to all 200 episodes because you only get, I think it's 50 on iTunes. So if you want to go back to the beginning and sort of tune in when the whole thing was born, get the app. Yeah, there's some great stuff from back in the day too.

The app's free. Just go to the App Store or I think you can get it on iTunes as well. Just type in Rich Roll, it'll pop up. And yeah, totally free. And that way you have the entire catalog in the palm of your hands. Yeah. And before you go on, I just want to say congratulations to you, Rich. And thank you for all your hard work and dedication to this show. I'm your wife, and I see just how many hours you put into this podcast. We have said goodbye to our Sunday evenings together.

It no longer exists because the podcast has those hours. And also many, many, you know, at least two other nights a week, you're not around until the wee hours of the morning getting this up for the listeners. So you do an extraordinary job. I think the level of your podcast really speaks to that all the effort you put into everything to the images, the design, the blog posts that you write, and also all the links and, and, and really just the care also with the in person interviews, I don't really know that many other podcasts that are actually

interviewing in person for the length of time. And you really, really have a gift of being able to tap into what makes somebody extraordinary and sort of what is unique about them. And the fact that you share that with all of us enriches our lives. So I want to give you that gratitude and that recognition at this moment. So thank you very much. And I know a lot of people are agreeing with me. So I know I'm not alone in saying that. at this moment. So thank you very much. And I know a lot of people are agreeing with me. So I know I'm not alone in saying that. Maybe not everybody. No, I think a lot of people. I appreciate that. Yeah, it is a lot of work. And I put that work in because I really do care. You know, I think it would be easy to, you know, just bang out, like set aside a day and

bang out 10 Skype interviews for a half an hour a piece or something. It's just not, that's not what this is. You know, I'm trying to, I'm trying to really lean into it and make the most out of every guest that I, that I get. And hopefully that, that, that comes across. But I think it increases the work, the workload like tenfold, you know, because of that. But well, it's kind of your personality. It's like you, you know, when you do something, you really get into it and you do it, you know, with everything that you have. And so it's part of your personality.

It's part of your blueprint. It's how you show up in the world. And it reflects in the show. So I think it's very authentic to you. Much like, you know, running, you know, doing a double Ironman or Ultraman was the race that called to you. This is the way that you do your podcast. and it's beautiful, and we all benefit.

So thanks. Thank you. We're brought to you today by recovery.com. I've been in recovery for a long time. It's not hyperbolic to say that I owe everything good in my life to sobriety. And it all began with treatment and experience that I had that quite literally saved my life. And in the many years since, I've in turn helped many suffering addicts and their loved ones find treatment. And with that, I know all too well just how confusing and how overwhelming and how

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Life in recovery is wonderful. And recovery.com is your partner in starting that journey. When you or a loved one need help, go to recovery.com and take the first step towards recovery. To find the best treatment option for you or a loved one, again, go to recovery.com. All right, so lots to talk about today. There's a lot going on,

and I think we can kind of set the stage by saying that today's topic of discussion is going to be the D word. The D word. Yes, the D word. The D word. Yes. The D word. The word that starts with D that is ever-present in our consciousness, but the one thing that we really don't want to talk about.

That would be death. That would be death. Yes. One of my favorite topics. Yes. What's going on in your life right now? Well, actually, yeah, we're in a super sacred, tender time right now. My dad is actually transitioning from Planet,

so he's been kind of in the process for about a week now, and it's been absolutely profound and extremely sad, profound, and extremely sad. And it's so sacred and so beautiful to have the opportunity to be with him as he's going through this process. You know, not every death occurs in this manner. You know, there are accidents or, you know, other things that take people away in a different process. He was actually very healthy until, you know, other things that take people away in a different process. He was actually very healthy until, you know, his system changed. And so this hasn't been a drawn out terminal illness. He was, you know, doing pretty well a week ago. And it's been, yeah, absolutely heart expanding and mind-blowing and the way that my family is experiencing this is is just so incredibly beautiful that you know I told them all the other night I

said you know we will never be the same and I mean that in a like this transition has is bonding us so close together. And to be able to bond in that way, I think honors the life that is leaving in a very, very sacred, profound manner. Well, let's set the stage a little bit. I mean, your dad is 92 years old. He's 92.

So it's not like, you know, the guy's had a robust, long, and very full life. And he is, because he's still around, he is quite the character. This is a guy who is very different from Julie. Lifelong hunter, fisherman, adventurer, explorer, who lived very much an Indiana Jones jones type of life uh he was a he's a world war ii veteran and after the war he spent time in south america mapping the jungles which is where he met your mom in chile that's a whole other crazy epic story about how that happened i don't want to get too much weeds about that but um and uh and is a bush pilot and this is a guy who took

expeditions to siberia to africa basically all kinds of places like and and you grew up in colorado and then he moved your entire family up to alaska which is where he wanted to live so that he could you know do the things that he loves to do and pursued that for the balance of his entire life. By day, working as an engineer, he was instrumental in building some of Anchorage's biggest sort of landmarks like the art museum, etc. So he's had quite a life and married to this beautiful Chilean woman who he swept off her feet and moved her to America and to basically is, you know, further away from her home than I would imagine she ever thought that she would live, to go from Santiago, Chile, all the way up to Alaska and raised a family up there. And now he's, I mean, he flew his bush plane until how old was he?

Until he was 87. Yeah, it's like insane. It is insane, right? 87. Like you can't drive a car when you're 87. Like how is he flying an airplane? Well, I think at that point he did fly with another pilot, but he actually did get his license. I think he still had his license actually.

And the plane, when he no longer got his license, that was pretty rough. But he was already pretty old. I think my dad would have rather run his plane into a mountain. That's how he would have liked to have exited. I remember when I first met you and you were describing your dad to me and you said that's how he's going to go. Because he's not going to want to stick around and be unable to be as active and as adventurous as he wants to be yeah it's true and he la was the last place that he wanted to die also that he wanted to be but you know he's been married to my mom for i think 63 years last week and you know he also also adores his children and his grandchildren. And this is where a good number of us were.

So we kind of made him, we sort of forced him to move. He would have rather stayed in Alaska, but there were no children up there to really care for them. So we forced the issue in the end. And we've had some really super sweet moments. So it was the right thing. LA is the last place on earth that he would have ever wanted to live. Right. But he's a team player.

I mean, he was really a trooper about the whole thing. I mean, he understood the logic behind it. So he could have created a bunch of drama and kicked and screamed and all that kind of stuff. But no, they moved down here, and that was about a year ago, you know, knowing that we were kind of preparing for this inevitable moment. And so it has arisen. And for somebody who is 92 years old, I mean, mentally, you know, the guy's sharp as a tack and has always been completely there. But in the last like two weeks, it sort of took a turn. He contracted pneumonia and went into the hospital. And now he's back in the guest house where him lives. And he's got around the clock hospice care. And it's not going to be long. I mean,

it's going to be, we're looking at 24 to 48 hours, most likely. Yeah, it could be a few more days after that. It's been really, really beautiful though because we've been there with my mom and with him and all of us, grandkids and some of his grandchildren flew in from other states and cousins came up from South America. I mean, he's very, very loved and has had a lot of people around him. And the other night we were there and we just all started singing. I started singing with my brother and then our kids came in and joined us. And we were just playing music and singing for, you know, two hours in his room, just super loud.

And it was really, really touching and really amazing and really beautiful. It's sort of your version of sitting Shiva, except he's still alive, right? Like the Jewish tradition of sitting Shiva. And it has been a beautiful thing to have the whole family congregate around him and just together to kind of celebrate his life while he's still here,

but knowing that he will be soon departing. And I think it really has bonded the family. And it's basically created a, an opportunity for all of us to have, you know, discussions about death, you know, how do we want to die? What do we want to happen to our bodies? You know, what do we want to express in our life before we reach this point, you know, particularly with our younger kids, right? So there's been a lot of, there's been a lot of tears, there's been a lot of emotions, but there's also been a lot of really

constructive, interesting conversations around this issue. And it's an issue that in our culture, in Western culture, we repress and we avoid dealing with and we avoid talking about, right? avoid dealing with and we avoid talking about, right? So, you know, Larry is about as close as you're going to see somebody to, you know, sort of stepping off the mortal coil. But in my entire lifetime, I've only been in this situation one other time, which is when my grandparents were sort of close to that edge. And I must have been, I don't know, 18 years old or something like that at the time. And since then, I haven't had any up close and personal direct experiences with people passing away. I've had friends, I've had lots of people in my life die, but I haven't been around them while they're dying or sort of even witnessed their no longer living body, which is a weird

thing because everybody dies, right? So you'd think that you would see dead people all the time. And I would imagine in a different era, you probably did. But the way that we, the way our culture is sort of constructed around this idea, it's almost like a sanitation department comes in and removes it from our sight line and our consciousness as soon as it occurs so that we don't have to really think about it too much or, God forbid, witness it with our own eyes. Yeah, it's true. And this does bring up a lot of things to think about and discuss. And what it felt like to me is, as I, you know, I gave birth to four children. So in the beginning, my first son, I asked my daughter, I asked my doctor if I could have a water birth.

And he basically shut me down and laughed me out of the office. And that was 20 years ago. And so, you know, as I gave birth to each child, I actually gave birth in the hospital. My last two children, I wanted to have at home. But again, you and other people sort of convinced me that it wasn't really smart because we didn't really live near a hospital. And, you know, these things could happen. And I'd had actually a pretty amazing experience with my doctor. I had very, very fast labors, and they were actually pretty amazing. So I chose to just stay in that format. But by the time I gave birth to Jaya, who was my last daughter,

I had become aware that I could refuse certain things. I didn't have to take every, you know, every shot they asked. I didn't have to let them bathe her. I could keep her myself. You know, these type of things, I got smarter with every child. And I would say when we gave, I say when we gave birth to Jaya is because we actually had a family birth in the hospital with my boys playing music, lying in the bed with me. Mathis was there. You were there. And it was absolutely extraordinary for us to give birth to Jaya and for her to go right, right. I didn't let, we didn't let them wash her.

I didn't let them touch her. I didn't let them give her any shots. And she went right into her brother's arms, right into your arms, right. I mean, we have photographs from that day that our friend Stacy Turk took, and she was there covering it. And that was absolutely extraordinary. And I feel like that event bonded us like no other event we ever experienced in our life. Like it was almost like after Jaya was born, we were no longer the same. We were no longer individual.

We were like a tribe. So now here I am in my dad's experience and we're going through this similar experience. And there's a lot of pain in it, but there's also a lot of joy in it because it is a birth into another life, another form of life. Death is really a birth. So birth has pain in it and a birth has joy in it. So it really is a similar experience. I mean, when we were singing in his room and, you know, all the tears that are expressed from everyone in the family and the openness of expressing and of experiencing this together

and holding each other through these moments, the blessing that we have had has just been immense. And we have found out that when he decides to exit, to leave his body, it's up to us how long we keep the body with us because we're at home. his body, it's up to us how long we keep the body with us because we're at home. So we have, you know, prepared our own ceremony, which, you know, which we are going to do. And we have certain sacred practices and things that we've discussed between us. And I'm just going to leave that private because that's our own process. But we do have control and you can, you know, you can have it your way. You can, you know, sort of design it the way that you want to, what feels comfortable to you. And, you know, the body doesn't have to be taken away right away. And I would say,

you know, I know from my spiritual practice that, you know, you don't want to cut or touch the body in a, you know, cutting way for 72 hours after death because there is some pain still associated with the spirit in the body. Well, everybody, different religious and spiritual practices have, you know, there's a wide variety of perspectives on all of those things. there's a wide variety of perspectives on all of those things. But the larger point that I'm trying to get at is really our cultural relationship with death and how we kind of, you know, navigate it socially in terms of the mores that we bring to the process. So in other words, we don't really want to confront it because we're so terrified in our own life. We don't want, we all know we're going to die, but we all think that we're the exception to that rule, that somehow we're going to weasel out of it ourselves and it's not going to happen. And I feel like society is crafted around that notion to the extent that, you know,

anything that hints at this is removed from our kind of, you know, primary view of what we experience on a daily basis. Yeah, it's all, it's complete denial. So all the, all the focus is external. Everything is externally focused. And, and to take your attention off of, you know, what is a life and, and what are we really doing here in a body? And it's about consumerism or sex or addiction. Most of the world is externally, there's this massive external stimulus to keep you from looking within, from really realizing. Right. That's exactly what my point is. So until it happens to you or it cuts close to your bone, somebody in your family or your friend is going through this, you don't really have to think about it or deal with it in your daily life, right? father has brought it all up into my consciousness in a new way and is sort of reforming my relationship with it, you know, to really have me think, well, what, you know, it really does kind of anchor you

in this idea that you are very temporary and that there really isn't that much time. I mean, you blink and it's over with, right? So, you know, what are you getting about in your life? What do you want to express? What do you want to leave behind? And, and, and what do you want if you could have any control, which of course we don't, like, what would your ideal way of passing look like? What would you like to, you know, have around you at that time? And what would you, you know, want to have happen to your own body? Like we were talking with the kids, like, you know because larry wants to be cremated right so we're saying well would you like to be cremated like what would you like to happen to your body and sort of pondering the the variety of options that are available to you uh is kind of a weird thing that we don't

think that much about like we were talking about how, you know, people that get embalmed, right? And what a bizarre concept that is. Like, I understand a lot of people do it, and that's fine. I have no judgment on that. But if you really break down what it is, it's sort of like taxidermy for a human being. You sort of, they're dead, but you try to make them look alive. Like you put makeup on them, and you dress them up up and you put them in a casket so that people can, you know, look at them and not feel threatened by the fact that they're dead. And it's another barrier from really getting you to connect with the reality of what is actually happening. Yeah. Or not feel the pain. It not be so painful. But the thing is, is that, you know, you need to embrace the pain. You need to go through the pain. You need to feel it. You know, you need to cry.

You need to process that whole thing. So, yeah, it's a, it's, and again, I mean, even, even more so, I would say from my perspective, more so what do you want to leave here in your life would be, who are you really? And what is, what is the consciousness that is living your life? You know, it's that question of inquiry, who am I? Who is the soul who incarnated into this life? And what is the nature of your life source? So it's really realizing that you are a spiritual

being having a human experience. And you're right, it's momentary. you are a spiritual being having a human experience and you're right it's momentary it's just a second like nothing is static it's not nothing in this world is going to remain it will all fall away including all of the things that you love more than anything in your life they will all drop and so this is is why I cannot live without considering the divinity in every single action. I'm very, very aware of my death always. Yeah, you seem to be always cultivating that relationship in a conscious way. And you've said very often, like, I'm not afraid to die. I'm not afraid to die, I'm not afraid to die. And I've sort of been, okay, well, we'll see what that looks like when it actually happens,

because it is so terrifying. I mean, do you really hold to that idea that you think that, you know, when that moment arises, unless it happens suddenly, you know, in an in sort of an accident kind of way that you'll be able to navigate it without fear. Yes, I do. But I've spent most of my life cultivating that muscle. So I'm not saying that I won't feel sadness, or I cry, I cry about my dad, there's a part of me that I'm sad about it. I'm not trying to keep him here and nor is anyone else. So I'm still very human. I'm a human being, but I've never been an illusion that I was never going to die. And in more than that, and I've said it before, every time I kiss you, I know every time I kiss any one of my kids, I'm very aware of it always, all the time.

It's never not, I'm never not aware of it. And what is the practice that you rely on predominantly to cultivate that awareness? Well, it's, uh, it's been informed by meditation. It's also been informed by the death of a dear friend of mine's son that happened many years ago. And I experienced that with her very, very, very closely. Like I was her closest friend. I was with her through all the horror of that. So I would say that that really, really sort of brought it up, you know, very viscerally for me. But even before that, I was always very, very aware, very aware of the temporal

quality of life. And it makes living my life very, very rich because I'm very aware of it. But how does somebody who's listening to this who might not have had those kinds of experiences, how can one cultivate that kind of healthy appreciation and awareness that can help improve the quality of day-to-day life and maybe obviate some of that fear. By having an inner focus and observing yourself and entering into a meditation program. You know, I have an amazing meditation program that we offer called Jai Release. It's very, very, very powerful for starting to get you connected to the fact that you are a spiritual being having human experience.

And then if you need more, if you need more evidence, like turn the news on, like look around, like what's happening? You know, it's like, understand if you're medicating yourself by shopping, or by drinking, or by using or by, you know, being addicted to social media or like this whole illusion that, you know, because you have a lot of Instagram followers, suddenly, you know, you're immortal. It's like it's it can be kind of funny and kind of amusing how we as humans set up these things around ourselves or getting very attached to a certain way of living, like that's going to stop it. You know, like that's going to then make you immortal and you're not going to die. Now, in my perspective, I practice yoga and I study the practices of yoga, like pranayama, like meditation, like yoga nidra. I've been cultivating this awareness of what is beyond the body because of any beings on the planet, the yogis, and I'm not talking about, you know, acrobatic yoga. I'm talking about real classical yoga. You know, the yogis know.

They know certain practices, their breathing practices, breath of fire, which take you beyond the body. And, you know, you're not going to, you know, become an advanced master yogi overnight, but you will start to cultivate this other awareness of, wait a second, like this isn't quite, you know, what the whole material world is telling me. And then over your practice, depending on your level of heart, how much you really, you know, do you really want to have a relationship with the divine are

you really do you really want that and if you want that the divine will run to you it'll take you know a hundred steps towards you if you take one step towards it and suddenly your life becomes divine and everything that happens is profound and you know, I have signs given to me all day, every day. But it's because I'm looking for them, because I want them, I'm cultivating that. Do you think that your dad is satisfied with the life that he's lived? Yes. I mean, he seems like he's at peace. Yes, I think he is.

And also this has been another just so profound. Life is so incredibly beautiful. But, you know, my dad and I couldn't have been two different, you know, more different. We were definitely extremes on the polarity, you know, scale. And yet, you know, there were many times where there was a lot of pain between us and a lot of misunderstanding. I can't say that he really ever understood me in a human form. We also found times of our life where we were able to connect in a very deep way. So I found a way to meet him in the areas where there was a bridge for us.

So one of those areas was when I built homes. I built two homes in a six-year period. And my dad was a civil engineer, a very, very fine, amazing engineer, who was the, you know, head project manager for huge projects. He built the hotel at Alyeska, a huge, you know, huge building. And his latest project, he was the project manager on a $70 million museum designed by David Chipperfield. Extraordinary building. And he worked for the natives in Alaska his whole life. He built all their hospitals and art centers and everything. So when I built these homes, we could meet there.

We could meet over the blueprints. We could meet over that. That was like a way for me to connect with him. And so here I am in my life. My dad did not understand my affection for the yogi lineage. He did not understand. That's an understatement. That's an understatement.

He did not understand, you know, my vegetarianism, my veganism, although he ate my food and enjoyed it. And just as early as like 10 days ago, he said, Julie, your food is very different, but it's very good. So, um, you know, no, he was sweet. No, he was always sweet. But I would tell, I would tell you that even though he didn't understand me, if I ever really needed him, he was always there and he was there financially for me. And he was there for you as well, always there and he was there financially for me and he was there for you as well financially and as well um you know he always um he he he always tried to support and um he read your book when it

came out and uh you know he found a way to connect with you as well even though you're you're very very different so but i guess what I want to say is, again, my dad and I couldn't be more different. I honor and respect him for his choices in his life. It is his life. And I told him a couple weeks ago, actually, before we went to Europe, he called me to say goodbye to me because he didn't think he was going to be alive when we returned. And, you know, I told him, I said we're going to have a laugh about this play that we

agreed to have together and I said everything in your life is divinely created. And he was the perfect father for me because he allowed me to experience what my soul needed to experience. what my soul needed to experience. And that didn't mean, in my case with him, that we were the closest, you know, daddy-daughter.

It just wasn't like that for us. But if you look at my Vedic chart, it shows in there, Chakrapani told me on my birthday, which I shared like the last podcast that I was on, I had no opportunity of a close relationship with my father. It did not exist in my divine plan. However, because I was able to, to see that and to find a place where I could connect with him, by the end of his life, we had resolved that. It had totally come into resolution. And I, you know, when he called me before I left for Europe, I was like, Oh, man, I just I was I was okay before that,

like, I was fine. I understood we were very different. And I was cool with that. And I knew he loved me the way that he loved me. And I knew that in the afterlife, he's going to go where he wants to go. He's not going where I'm going. He's going where he's, where he wants to go. But what I didn't understand was that I would get this experience of caring for him in the hospital. I was with him for two days and he was having a lot of struggle and he was still lucid and still aware in some spaces. And I was able to connect with him on a soul level. in some spaces and I was able to connect with him on a soul level and I had this intimate experience with him and uh he would come in and out you know and then he would say to me hey you know how oh when did you get here where you been and I said oh I've been around you know like realizing that he had forgotten that I had just been with him through this test and that I had just done this prayer and this meditation for him. But I realized at that moment this profound, profound truth,

and that is that he had certainly been with me when I was a baby. He had certainly held me and rocked me and comforted me. And I did not remember that. And here I was at the end of his life and I was comforting him and loving him and kissing him and he didn't remember that. Mm-hmm. It is this weird thing how suddenly you do become in many ways like a baby again or like an infant. It's full. Right down to the things you have to wear and all that kind of stuff.

No, full on. Having to be fed and not understanding what's going on, like all that kind of stuff. It's just amazing how it comes full circle like that. No, and Tyler said to me yesterday, you know, he just said, Mom, he's, you know, all the kids have just been with them and spending the night over there. And it's like we're just, we're so blessed. But he just said, Mom, he's like, it's just, it's so full circle. Like so full circle and so amazingly beautiful. And such a gift because Tyler and Trapper lost their dad in an accident and didn't have this moment, didn't have this slower exit.

So, you know, every life is divine and every exit is divine. So, you know, they just come in different colors. But this happens to be how we're experiencing this one. experiencing this one. Yeah. And, and, and when he finally passes, there's no regret on your end or no words on set or nothing unresolved. No, as good as you can. That's the best that you can hope for. That's the best situation. Well, I think that, yeah, I mean, I think I was, I was extremely blessed. Again, it's, it has me on my knees in reverence to the divine that I was given this amazing gift, that we were able to wrap this up in this way. Like I said, I was cool before. I understood it well, and I was fine. And then when we had the phone conversation, that was such a blessing. I

was just felt so, so much love and so amazing. And then when I was with him in the hospital, love and so amazing. And then when I was with him in the hospital, my heart was just exploding. I mean, exploding with love for him and so intimate, you know, and there's nothing about this process that has been like uncomfortable for me. Like I can't hold him or I can't help him. There's nothing. It's all it is. And really for all of us. So it's just been another amazing, beautiful gift of life. And, you know, I think that the way my family has been honoring him and will continue as we go through, you know, the rest of the days, we have, we have all done very, very well by him. And I think by us not wasting the opportunity and actually experiencing it in the present

with all the sadness and the, you know, some horrific, some beautiful and profound qualities of it, we have honored him in his life and we have honored him in his death. we have honored him in his death and i know i will see him again and the thing that i'm taking away from the last week of just being there with everybody around is is is is the the desire to have a similar passing in the sense that, of course, I want to live a long life. But like if I was to be on my deathbed, you know, I would want to be surrounded by the people that I love and that I care about. And I would certainly hope that I would be able to fill a room the way that he's filled a room and have people sitting there, you know, sort of, you know, taking time out of their busy

lives to just be right. But that doesn't exist for a lot of people. And I think if you want to be somebody who gets to have that experience, certainly you can't control, you know, how you're going to die, you can get hit by a car or something like that. But if you are in the scenario in which you're passing, you know, slowly like Larry, the way that you get all those people to show up for you boils down to how you're living your life moment to moment right now. Yeah, it's directly tied to who were you in your life on a daily basis? And how did you? How did you treat the people in your life? You know, are you the kind of person that honored them and loved them and gave of yourself to them so that they want to actually be around you in that moment? Yeah, and he was.

And he was for many, for many, many, many. And, yeah, so he did well in his life. And, you know, my beautiful mother, she's amazing. She's so strong and resilient and also always has a great sense of humor. And, you know, she's been by his side for many, many, many years. And I would like to just share really quickly how they met because I think it's very profound. to share really quickly how they met because I think it's very profound and again just sort of bookends the sacredness of a life and the fact that if you're looking at the signs it can't be otherwise like it's just it just can't be you know my mother was living in Santiago Chile her father had left her own mom and when my mom was six 16 years old and my mom had to go out and support

her mother and her sister this was in an era where women didn't work. It was very, very challenging for my mom. But my mom is a survivor and she found a job with this American company. And my mom became engaged to an American engineer. His name was Don. I don't know his last name, but they were engaged to be married. And my mom was kind of late to get married because in Chile, you got married much younger and she was 25. So she was a little bit of a late bloomer in that society. There was an accident and he drowned. And it was about a month before their wedding.

And my mom was actually, she was the teletype secretary and she was the one to receive the message of his death. Oh, I didn't know that part. Yeah. And then my dad was working for the same company in, I think, Brazil. He was also in Ecuador at some point. But, you know, we have all these photo albums where he actually built these towers in the jungles. And he was living with, you know, the natives and, and in Panama, and sort of all over, he was mapping the land. And my father was sent as Don's replacement. And so my dad, my mom's describes when she saw my dad walk in the room, she knew she was going to marry him. And, you know, she can't explain why. So some six months later, they became engaged. And my mom left her

entire family and everything she had ever known to go with this man from Chile to Texas, which is where they... Amarillo, Texas. Well, Amarillo is where his parents were from. And I still have dear family there. But yeah, so it was to Texas. And then they moved to Denver, Colorado. And my dad actually got his master's there in engineering at the School of Mines. And so they they had five children together. And then later in life, when my dad was in his 40s, he worked for Martin Marietta Company, and he quit his corporate job and drove up to Alaska with my oldest brother, Thane, to set up a practice. And he lived up there for two years before he sent for us. So he went ahead and got it established. I didn't realize it was two years. Yeah, it was a while. So during that two year, did he fly back from time to time? I don't think he did because I think it was, you know, that wasn't so easy.

It wasn't just like people just jumped on a plane. It might have been one year, but I think it was two years time. And he got it set up, the practice set up. And then he called for us. And, yeah, he moved up there because he wanted to hunt and fish and fly, basically. How did the rest of the family feel about that? Not so good. We actually didn't feel.

I felt good because I was a youngest, and I was like, oh, this will be an adventure. But it was definitely a very hard life and not a move up for any of us, not education-wise. And there was a tremendous amount of drugs and we're actually all lucky that we're alive. Um, quite frankly, all of my brothers and sisters, we, we made it out. Um, but you know, there you go. It was a, it was something that he had to do. And in those days it was more, maybe, I mean, at least in my, in my reality, it was more like was more like what he wanted was the most important thing as the head of the household and not so much with the children. And now our children rule.

They rule us. Mathis gets to decide where we live and stuff like that. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, it's definitely a different time. Well, you know, he's an old school guy. You know, he's definitely of a different time and era. And it's funny, because, you know, I was driving through like Hollywood yesterday, after spending time, you know, with him. And I'm looking up at billboards of like scantily clad women in bikinis, or a billboard for some new YouTube star. And I'm just, but I'm thinking about Larry the whole time. And I'm like, it must be weird for like Larry, who's 92, to like drive in a car and kind

of look around up at billboards and advertisements that are the reference points of which are completely unrelatable to a guy like that who comes from such a different time and has lived his life like so differently. You know, I mean, I would say that's probably why he didn't. You know, there's nothing really in L.A. that he wanted to experience. No, of course not. But except all of his kids. And, you know, it's just so, so sweet when the grandkids come in the room and it's like, you know, he just up until a, you know, a day ago, he knew they were there and he just so sweet. So, so, so sweet. So it's been quite, quite profound life. Once again, you just blow my mind.

Well, if you, I mean, if you couldn't have scripted a better kind of, you know, conclusion to his life, uh, then what's happening, you know, just to, for him to be surrounded by his entire family. Yeah, that's right. And no one's hanging on. Everybody is, uh, you know, everybody's at peace with it. And he wanted to go before, like he was, he was talking about it for a while. So he doesn't mean his own dad lived till 96 and he was like, yeah thanks i don't want to live that long so this is his choice and he only he only made it to 92 yeah that's some you know amazing genes to make it that long so not only that it's like his feet you know like in yoga in yogi you know tradition it's like you always look at the feet of the person like Like the feet are very, very sort of representative of the being.

And his feet are just, they're pristine. Like they don't even look, they look like a 30-year-old foot. It's crazy. Yeah, it is. We were kind of like turning him in his sheets and trying to get him dressed the other day. And you had mentioned that to me. So then when I actually looked at his feet, I was like, oh, my gosh. Like my feet look way worse than i mean his look like he like from just below like from the shin

down like from below his knee from the knee down they look like the legs of you could go run a marathon yeah it's actually kind of amazing because his hands don't look like that. I mean, his hands are very weathered and aged. But what is that? Some divine energy. I don't know. The skin looks like, yeah, perfect and the whole thing. It's a weird thing. Pretty crazy.

So if you had to script your end, what does that look like? like? My end is a conscious exit from the body where from a point of spirit, I draw my life force out of my body and drop it like a dress. Are you going to get to a point in your life where you just you feel like you want to make that conscious decision? Of course. Would that be precipitated by like an illness or or age or you just think at some point you're going to be like yeah i'm done yeah i'm done i've done what i've done what i came here to do i think more of that and you're going to flick a switch yeah that's a little frightening i'll kiss you goodbye first yeah all right give me a little forewarning yeah i will i actually know i mean i i know in my birth chart what my death date is. If anybody's actually it's that because most people would be very upsetting to deal with that.

But I really wanted to know mine, so I really pressed the issue and did a little bit of research and pressed a little bit more, and I got my date. So, you know, I mean, it's not an end-all. It's sort of like a predisposition for how things unfold, but I'll be around for a while. I wouldn't want to know that. When I found out, I was like, I was elated. It was like a wonderful, fantastic bit of information. So I loved it. All right. Well, don't tell me. I won't. I haven't looked at yours. And what do you want? What do you want? How do you want your body disposed of? I think I want to be burned uh you know yogi style wrapped in uh in rose water and rose petals and uh return to the fire like not in a crematorium no like a ceremony where you're

like on a scaffold like they do it like a pyre i'd love that like it'd be the bomb can you light it will you do that will you strike the match? That's, I don't know. I'm going to have to think about that. Of course. Like at that time, it'll be appropriate. What's that movie where they do it? They do it in Greek tradition as well.

Yeah, yeah. I'm thinking about like a movie that I saw, like Gladiator or something like that, where I watched them do that. But anyway, I think that's a beautiful ceremony. I think I just, I can't imagine being, I don't want to be embalmed. I definitely don't want that. And I don't, and I can't wrap my head around like being cremated in a crematorium. Like I think I would like to, if my preference would be to just be planted, not in a casket, but just my body, like dig a hole and put my body in a garden and just grow all kinds of amazing food on top of me. And then have that food, you know, grow and then have everybody that I care about have a big meal and eat it.

We would like eat you. We would all become like could like you could birth like your your own like ultra man army and then everybody would be doing ultra man races you know like whether it's like tomatoes or avocado you just make like some amazing meal with all the food that comes from that grew out of the fertilized soil the fertilization provided by my organic material that would be certainly appropriate can we make is it is it legal it's probably no i think you can i mean it's interesting it's funny because i like bury your your somebody you can't just have somebody buried in your backyard yeah i

don't know about that but you can do that you can't you can't there are green burials by the way so that's starting to happen i did hear hear it mentioned. And, you know, we're doing some, we're doing a very, very similar ceremony for my father. So that he wants to be cremated, but he will be wrapped with offerings and rose petals. And they have given me their word that they will not disturb what we provide them. So that they will put them in the offering that we prepared. So it's quite, quite beautiful. Everybody's just my family have so much love for all of them. And just for my extraordinary mother for all that she has stood for in her life and she also supported him to be a better man and always was holding the peace and the beauty and the love the unconditional love again and again and again and so once again

the female energy is is quite powerful and does a lot for us in our lives. Yeah, your mom's amazing. We got to wrap this up in a minute, but I think the final thought that I kind of want to end on is, you know, what have you, what have you taken away from this experience of being there with your father and kind of helping him navigate towards this port of call? Just, you know, just kind of what I shared. I mean, this immense beauty of being, you know, being a spirit consciousness and making a contract with each other that he was going to be my father and I was going to come in to learn a certain specific set of lessons for my own evolution. So the fact that he agreed at some point to hold that space for me is such a sacred relationship. And, you know, and even though we were not alike, and it was not necessarily easy, it has been profound beyond measure. And to be able to be intimate with him in these last days and kiss him in a way I never could or hold him in a way that I never

could when his personality was in force has been a blessing of my life that I could have never imagined. And it is again, proof, it is visceral proof to me of the fact that we are spiritual consciousness that come into experiences together. And I am so immensely grateful that I have the privilege of holding him and washing him and comforting him and healing him. Um, in these last days, it is, uh, it is an immense privilege and I am forever blessed and, uh, grateful and honoring to him, uh, for eternity for the role that he played in my life. him for eternity for the role that he played in my life. Yeah, I mean, you've really been able to show up for it 110%. And I think for a lot of people, you know, this moment is difficult, because it brings up their own fear of their own mortality. And it brings up past resentments and, you know, old history and all kinds of things that erect barriers from tapping into the beautiful intimacy that can occur if you can get past those things. Right.

So it would have been easy for you to be like, well, my dad and I, we just never really saw eye to eye. Like, yeah, I'll be there for him. But like, you know, I got my own trip going on you know something like that or or to be holding on to something that he did you know 35 years ago that you still think about but he probably doesn't remember and to use that as like a tool for you know why you can't show up when in the reality is you're just terrified you're a terrified little girl who's about to lose their dad, which I think is the more common relationship to this experience. Yeah, and I think, I mean, it always comes back to yourself.

So once again, we're back in meditation. It's like all of the experience are simply here for your own evolution, for your own process of becoming. experience are simply here for your own evolution, for your own process of becoming. And no matter who your parents are, I mean, it is significant. You know, it does mean something. And you know, that's not to mean that every parent is wonderful and should be reconciled with. Sometimes lives don't work out that way. And that's fine. There's no judgment on that just in in general when you have a relationship with somebody and you experienced a life with them at the end of the life when the life is leaving the personality is is no longer there and only the love remains at the end. And so if you have an opportunity, um, I would not miss it. I would

not miss one minute of it. That's a good place to end it. Yeah. And I actually would like to take us out with a song. Uh, this was a, another, um, another opportunity that I had in my life, uh, is music to connect with my dad. My dad played harmonica since we were little kids, and his brother played for the Glenn Miller Band twice, once as a trumpet player, once as a piano player. My dad's mom was a piano player. And later in my life, actually, when dad was 91, I was able to have him play harmonica

on one of the songs on my record. And it's a song called the new earth. It's about ascension and it's about a new way of being in living in the now. And he played a very sweet harmonica solo on this for me at age 91 and also performed at our plant power way book release party last year. And we had him on stage. And anyway, I feel incredibly blessed that we were able to experience that together. And so I'd like to take us out with that song.

So the episode that preceded this one was my conversation with Dr. Michael Greger in his new book, How Not to Die. So I think this episode is, if you are going to die, here's maybe a few. How to die. How to die, yeah. That was how not to die, and this is how to die, I think, right? Yeah. Because we need both. How to die. I think we need how to die more. I think how not to die, I think, right? Yeah. Because we need both. How to die.

I think we need how to die more. I think how not to die. Right. But no, I'm sure he addresses that in the book. I haven't read the book yet, but I'm sure it's a great book. But we need to understand that we all are going to die, all of us. That's the condition of this system that we live in. And so we come here to learn, to grow, to evolve.

And it takes time to become. It takes a life to become. And remember that the relationships that bring you some of the hardest challenges may in fact be the ones that are the most divine because they are the ones that transform you and shape you. And so don't miss the opportunity to honor all experiences as sacred and all relationships as sacred.

And being aware of death is a way to live very, very present lives because then nothing is wasted. Thanks for talking to me today. Thanks for having me on, Rich. Peace. Namaste Kiss the sun A tree in warm embrace Know that you exist

In everyone Every laugh, every scream Every cry, every scream, every cry, every joy and beyond it all Pure bliss Pure bliss Pure bliss Are you ready for the new birth? Stand up, get ready to shine.

Being is the place to be. Let it happen in you. Breathe it all in. It's happening now Thank you. Are you ready for the new birth? Stand up, get ready to shine Being is the place to be Let it happen in you Breathe it happen in you. Breathe it all in. Just let go.

It all happens in the now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now. It's happening now. Are you ready for the new earth? Stand up, get ready to shine. Get ready to shine. Get ready to shine. Get ready to shine Get ready to shine