The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - BONUS: Words of Wisdom (Compilation)

Episode Date: March 5, 2023

Twitter -Ricky GervaisStephen MerchantKarl Pilkington

What is your favorite word? I don't think I've got our favorite because you only use them when you need to, don't you? I don't just go about saying the same word. So, uh... Well, alright. Yeah, it's not my favorite, it's just that it does the job. It does the necessary job for that time, doesn't it?

It's like, how are you? I'm alright. It's a greeting. What about, um, I think serendipity was voted, England's favourite word. Never used it. No, stupid word. Who decided that? I don't know, it was a poll, but I don't suggest things.

I can't believe people coming up going, um, failure, so and did they. Thanks for asking. So, yeah, yeah. But the thing is, say if it meant, oh, I'm fed up, will it still be the best word? Is it based on how it sounds and how it's put together or what it means? I'm everything. But then loads of words are being left out on, you know, which are probably brilliant words and they're not getting a look in. Such as? Uh, well like that one fed up. I'm fed up. Two words, but two, you know.

It just sums it up. When someone goes, how are you you going, I'm fed up me. I'm sick of it. It's another good one. It's another good one. How are we getting to her? Come on to it? Come on, to and tell you are the favourite throat. I've had enough. It's just all stuff. These aren't words. They're all winging. These aren't, exactly. These aren't words. What's your favorite thing? My favorite thing to do is moan.

That would be their word. It's not one word. Yeah. Winge is a good word. I like NGE's, lozinge, winge, flange. Yeah. What is your least favorite word? It might be serendipity. That would be up there for me. I'll tell you what, that would be up there for me. Uh, probably like French words that have made it into the English thing. Blamange. Just just... There's an nunge there. So, you know, how do you dislike it?

How do you just like a blamange? But just, you know, as if we haven't got that many, the thanks in our books. Because I was thinking about, uh, alphabet, right? Why have we got that many? When other countries get by without that many letters in it? We got more words in any other language as well. But that's because we've got more letters. Well, I don't know. So we've created a headache. I reckon you could at half a dozen of them. No but stuff like an X you look at words that I've got X in and there are always words that you go what does that mean how someone come up with that? That's how it comes across to me and there's loads of big words it's like dinosaur names it's like well look nobody was about when

they were knocking about so let's make up some names for them using the letters that hardly get used. They've all got y's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their that's th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. That's that. That's that. That's that. That's that. That's that. That's that. That's that's that's. That's. that's. that's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. that's th. th. that's how their their th. that's how's how. that's how's how's how that's how that's how that's that's that's that's that's that's that using the letters that hardly get used. They've all got Y's and X's in them. Yeah, they have, yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's like, well, let's use it for that. Yeah. So you just, it's not so much what is your least favorite word? You just don't really like, just most of the words. Just cut down the words. Stop adding. Stop adding. Stop adding new words. I get by, I don't know the the words. I the words. I the words. I the words. I the words. I the words. I don't the words. I don't the words. I don't the words. I don't the words. I don't the words. I don't the words. I don't the words. I don't the words. the words. the world, but I reckon I hardly use any of them. Well I'll tell you what, this year's word must be podcast. Yeah, but it's... That'll be in the dictionary and... But it's made up, isn't it, thrown it? It's just another one. This is what I'm saying about...

But what else would you call this? You know, the the their concept? podcasting. It's a podcast. But it's also broadcast. We had a word for it. It's still a broadcast. Yeah, but they are, oh you're a broadcaster. Oh, what radio station? No, I don't work on a radio station. I do a radio show, but I don't understand. I do a radio show and I don't understand. It's called a podcast. Done. There's another idea. Go on. I've had a new one. Get rid of the one. Get it that way. That's a good way. What would you get rid of then? So we've brought it in podcast this year, but what word would you lose? Well, what's the name? Those birds that died out. Dodos? Get rid of it. If the bird's gone, the word can, surely. I can't remember which show this was that we were discussing this but we talked about

well-known phrases and quotes from the past. We talked about Benjamin Franklin. People have, this is an email we've had saying, Carl, what do you take by the well-known saying, a stitch in time saves nine? Oh, a stitching time saves nine? Yeah. See, it's another one that I don't think I've picked up on a lot of these sayings that are being sort of thrown about, willy-nilly-nilly. Willy-nilly? Okay. Willy-nilly-nilly. Okay. Well, again, it's one of them, like, like, like, like, like like throwing it about all over the place what what do you mean but what was it?

I said what does what does the term willy-nilly mean it just sort of means you know carefree that's right yeah okay but what does a stitch in time save nine? I don't know what you understood will the thi so you used it you said it willy-nilly but um you you sort of got the gist of it so what does a stitching time saves nine mean I don't know what do you mean you don't know think about it a stitching time saves nine is it to do with sewing well yeah sort of so it's not that clear so if you got a so if you got a a jacket yeah and the seam starts coming and done oh there's a little bit of I'll leave it oh it's getting worse and worse and worse and w w w w w w w w w w w w. the the the the the the th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th. th. th. Oh th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's th. So seam and I'll leave it. Oh, it's getting worse and worse soon your sleeve falls off. So you just need one stitch there, that'll do it. If you do it now, later you'll need nine stitches.

And that of course is an analogy to other things. If you leave something that needs attention or repair, it'll get worse. So do it now, do it in time. They could have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have a their their their their their their their their their, tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thoe. thoome. thoome. thoom. the. thoome. thoome. thoome. thoome. thoome. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, the the. It's, the. It's, the. It's the. It's te. It's tea. It's, tea. It's. It's. It's, teeeeea. It's. It's teeeea. It's thea. It's th They could have said a tile in time saves nine on your roof. They just used a sewing analogy. But it depends if you're busy at that point because if you've got something else that needs doing, that means that isn't being done because you're messing about putting something out a hole in your coat is what I mean. You can't always do stuff straight away. So maybe, I don't know if there's a sort of a middle ground where you don't have to do it straight away but

stitching a stitch sometimes today say in 15 or whatever meaning you don't have to do it straight away but just do it before it gets really bad brilliant do you think yours is less poetic than than a stitching time so so yours is this is what you wanted to be a quote, right? Well, you could do it now, but if you're doing something else, then, you know, we don't do it immediately, but do it soon so it doesn't get really bad. Carl Pilkington. No, that's the same way I treat most things in life. It's like I never go to the doctors, unless it's really bad. That's brilliant advice for anyone listening. Never go to the doctors.

Unless it's really bad. But that's why a lot of people, particularly working class people, you know, die because they don't want to bother the doctor or they're mildly embarrassed or they don't know symptoms, bad symptoms. Go to the doctor if you're not sure about some. Like you were terrified to go and have your prostate. Still not been, not doing it. Why not? I wish you won't talk about it because now Suzanne will listen to this and she'll go, oh yeah you haven't been it, and start dragging it up again. But why are you worried about a little, a qualified doctor? I don't know what they're doing up there. What are they just putting their finger up? That's what I mean though. Why? Well, it's 2006. Why are they still using the index finger?

What, you prefer the forefinger or the thumb, would you? No. No, what I mean is, we've got... Or a thumb on a stick? So I'm going to be put the camera up straight away. No they don't need to. They pop the finger up, feel that the prostate isn't swollen, wiggle it around a little bit a little bit. I'll be a bit, I'll be a bit. I'll be a bit, I'll be a bit. I don't think they need to do that. Are you're embarrassed about it? I to their their their their their their their they embarrassed. they embarrassed. they they they they they to they are they are to to to to they are to they are to to to to to to to to to they're to to they're to to to they are to to to they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they they to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their to to to to to to try. to to try. to to their their their their to their to to to their they're they're they're they're the little fellow's properties. A little bit, yeah. And the other thing is it's not just that, is it? So you go in there, they check your art out and that, which to me is the most important thing because that's what keeps you going, isn't it? You've got to go there, you sat on the bus stressing out thinking, oh, in less than half an hour I'm going to have a finger up. Right. And what is. And what is. And their. And their is, what is, what is, right, which, which, which, which, which is, which, which, which, which, which is, which, which, which is, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which is their, which, which, which is their, which is their, which, which is, which, which is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, that's, that's, that's, that's that's their, their, their, which is, theicles and that... What's up with that? They take your testicles, yeah? But it's all building and you sat there going, oh soon that will be happening. Yeah, that's what puts me off.

So if they just came around when you're asleep, Suzanne just let them in and he goes, right? And they crept up and went, bang, you know what you're doing? I just don't understand why they don't teach you how they they they they they they they they they they they they squat in a corner with one hand on your bollocks and the other finger up the arse going, it seems to be alright. Carl, you don't understand the phrase, stitching time saves night. I don't think you should be doing any kind of invasive medical research in your own body. But then, but then, but then at least... You would get stuck. Yeah. You would get stuck. Susanna come out, your fist would be up your own arch.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Learning. Learning. That's a nice answer. Yeah. Excellent. Well you say that. Yeah, but I, everything you teach me, I take it in. It's just that sometimes I go, I don't, I don't get it. But that still still still still still still still still still still still still still still that's still that's still that's still. Well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well teach me, I take it in, it's just that sometimes I go, I don't get it, but that still counts as far as I'm concerned. Well no, it doesn't, learning is, knowledge is, there must be some sort of retention. You can't say I've got a great memory for a second. You can't say that, you have to stay there and then knowledge has to be you know applied you can't just have all this knowledge that isn't applicable because it's useless. I mean trivia's useless to a large extent it's not real knowledge because it doesn't really help you in it practically. No but there's a lot of that going on that you're always reading stuff

that you go I've just read that it's got me thin to me to me. It's not to help me in any way but it th it th it that it that it that it that it that it that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not th. th. It's not th. It's not the. It's not the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to me to to to to to to to to to to me to to to to going to help me in any way but it gets a reaction don't it? Well that's good yeah that's what art does and yeah sometimes education's good for its sake if it really does inflame but but then sometimes like I said before you can know too much where it gets you down. Go on. I just was reading something about an octopus that's like a killer octopus and it annoyed me that this was knocking about now because I didn't know I I th I they I they I they I they I they I they I they I they I they I they I th I th I th th th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho- I tho- I tho- I th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho th. That's th. That's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th. that that that that that's that that's that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's th killer octopus. And it annoyed me that this was knocking about now. Because I didn't know I thought they were quite friendly. Whenever you see him in cartoons and that, they're always happy, aren't they? And then suddenly, like, they've sort of brought the whole creature down. Do you know what I mean? No, what do you mean?

Well just, just, you know, when you see him in films, they're running about and that and everybody likes an octopus. But this one that's on the, it was your fault really, because you told me about that frog that's going about killing people. No, I didn't say that. So I looked it up on the internet at like other creatures and stuff. And what it does, you don't even have to......... to like to like to like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. And. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that's that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that, that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that's, and that's, that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that, that's they. And, that's that's that's that's that's they. And, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. And in the sea and what it does, you don't even have to like threaten it, it just spits in the water and if that stuff gets on you, does you in. Again, I'm not, hmm. So in a way it's good knowledge because, I mean I don't go in the

sea anyway because it's full of stuff like that, but that's just reassured me that I'm doing the right thing. If they're knocking about just gos in everywhere you don't even have to be near one you don't even know if it's been spitting and stuff it can kill you it just seems unfair I haven't armed it I haven't gone near it why is it getting annoyed with me? Don't seem right. So that's where a knowledge has not helped that octopus out. Because now, when you eat them, I just think, yeah, have another one. Do you know what I mean? Get rid of them. Another conversation with himself. What is your favorite curse word?

Um... I don't, I don't think I do anything like that. I just, I think people can tell by my face when I'm like fed up. Uh, well they know you're fed it because you're always winging. Uh, I don't think I've got one. Uhbbed. That sums everything up and I think it's... But you wouldn't call your Nan a knobbed, what would you call a nan? But she didn't do anything to annoy me that much. But if she did, what would you say? If she really annoyed her? Well, knobbed's all right, in it? Because she sort of gets it. It's one of them things that everybody understands but it's not too offensive right what a

knobbed all right you're getting into this aren't you it's so that sums it all but I don't I don't really do you need one of them what's that doing for you it's better to think in it like okay I've just slagged off that octopus but at no point was a ing and jeffin about it. You know how I'm annoyed I'm with it. I don't have to start swearing about it. And that's that's... What would you do though? If you were swimming, right?

It was a nice little thing, you were an holiday, right? And there's his octopus there, and you're going around, right? And you just see it start spitting out, thii.............. What's, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, to start, I's, to start, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. to, to, to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to'd say you knobbed I would but what's the point what's the point in getting annoyed now because it's done it's done it's stuff on it I don't know he's kicking it and go ahead no bed under the water what is you're fucking what is this octopus thinking oh god okay you fucking you fucking fucking shit. I'm not bothered. I'm not bothered.

I don't know what you're saying. You fucking, fucking cunt of a mollus. I don't just spit at you again. It's not bothered. You slimy little, boneless, wanker. This is why the face is good. Are you still talking to change and that's what's happened I'm not happy to hear you you like rain man he really is like rain man anything change it's got to get in a little routine you can't

I don't like I'm not like Suzanne's mom and dad and what have you where routine cannot change no matter what like what well well well well we've talked about it where you know if it's that's the we we no matter where I am. That's what they're like. That's what they'll remember actually and I'm saying about stuff about live 8 and all that you know people will remember if people said to a dad you know you remember the day was it on Tuesday when I had sausage and shit nothing changes but the thing is today normally we have a bit of a, you know, I know what we're doing where and all that and it's all sort of messed up. We don't usually know what we're doing where. We say what's

we do next? You go up. But I know like rockbusters have been done early. Right. So that's that's normally done. I'm really throwing us. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I say. I that. I that. I that. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's a that's a that's a that's. I know. I know. that's. I know. I know. I know. That's really. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. That's, that's, that's, that's, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, th. I'm, I'm, I'm, th. I'm, I'm, I'm th. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I, isn't it? If you get, I mean I think I read that, like a big chunk of ice, fell off one of the ice, what do you call them, ice caps? I think they said it's the size of the Empire State Building or something, it snapped off and went into the water and it's melted and they said, it's bad news you know that something that size is melting but the way I look at it if something that size falls into the water it's like a big ice cube and it's gonna freeze it up again you know you with me not really go on right you get a giant ice cube yeah size of the size of the Empire State Building stick it in the water it's gonna it's gonna stick back on again isn't it? Well no only if it frees it the the the the the the the the the the the size the size the size the size the size the size the size the size the size the size the size the size the size is the size the size is the size is the size is the size is the size is the size is the size is th is that's that's that's th is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th is the the the th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is th it in the water, it's going to make that it's going to stick back on again, isn't it? Well no, only if it freezes up again. Yeah it will freeze

up, the water's going to get cold again because you've just put a giant ice cube in the water. So when you put an ice cube in a drink, the drink the drink doesn't freeze it? No, it's going in the ocean. I know, but I'm, you see that I'm using my fables, imagine the world. I use your brain instead. Sains and that. Stitching, time saves nine. Don't, don't, you know, I'm never going to use that.

You're never going to understand it fully. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the th. tha, tha, th. th. th. th. th. th. thatatatathea, thatathea, that, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, that, that, it's thusus. thusan, it, it, it, it, it's. I'm, it, it's. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm, I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. It's, you. ta. ta. It's not. ta. It's not. You. You're not. You're not, you. ta. You're ta. I'm, you. I'm, I'm tha I don't think anyway. You're never going to understand it fully, are you? Suzanne repairs me stuff anyway. But what about the one, about the one in green houses and that? People who live in glasshouses shouldn't throw stones? Yeah. What is it? What? Is that confusing? You've never understood that one? No, that's a lot clearer, isn't it? It's sort of saying, don't be chucking stuff about if you? If you glass and what have you? Yeah but don't forget it's an analogy it's a metaphor it's not to be taken literally it's not really just talking to people who live in glass houses it's saying... Hang on sorry before you say that Rick I just I'm intrigued to know if he's fully got to grips with this just give us your explanation again of what you take that to mean? well just th th th the th the th the th th th th the th th th th the thus just thus just thus just thus just thus just thus just thus just just thus just thus just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that their their their that that that their their that that they. they. that that they. that that they. that to to thi to to to to to to to to mean? Well just don't we chucking stuff about maybe? Well if that was it they just say that. No no no but but that saying has been around a lot longer than we think that's when people probably

did live in basic glass houses and stuff. What what do you mean now? What do you they mean now? What did they? What did they they? Wo? What did people live in glass houses? What do they? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? that? What? that? that? that? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was? that was from rock to a nice crystal structure did they? What do we talk about? When did people live in glass houses? Well no, what they mean now, when that's saying is used now, they mean sort of, you know, plasma tellies, ornaments? No, they don't. They're saying don't chuck stuff about because you'd make it. No, it's not about damaging your own property. It don't mean you go inside the the their their their their their thah about tha tha tha tham about tham about tham about tham about tham about tham about tham about tham about tham about tham about their damage their damage thamamamamamamamamamamamamam. tham. thama. thamamamamamamam. their their thoes. their their their their tham. tham. tham. tham. tham. tham. tham. tham. tham. tham. tham. tham. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. glass house? It's a metaphor. It means don't be having to go at people if you yourself have got more to lose. Do you know what I mean? It means it could be, it could be anything. Don't start a war where you could come off bad as well. It's about how fragile your situation

is. If you live in a glass house, metaphorically, don't throw stones at someone else. Because when he throws it back at you, your house is more easily damaged than his. Again, metaphorically. It doesn't mean that if you're living in a glass house or in a house with other precious objects, you don't in your own home throw bricks about. Because that would be a very specific audience that was trying to reach that phrase. I mean, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, don't, don't, th, don't, don't, tho, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, thro, don't thr, don't thro, don't, thro, don't, thro, thr-------------------------------------------------------a, thr---a, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. thro, thro, thro. thro. thrugee. thruge. thruge. thrug-e. thrugne. thrugne. throge. thro. thro. thro, th own home throw bricks about because that would be a very specific audience that I was trying to reach that phrase I mean let's be honest what kind of a mental case you know what I think we've got the crux to this I think I can answer right right Carl what is an analogy it's sort of like a little story told quickly

isn't it? It's a little story told quickly. Isn't it? It's a little story told quickly. To what end? Well it depends what the story is. Okay. Give me an analogy. Well for me I thought a one with the green house, right? Um, it's no, it's a greenhouse, it's a glass house. Yeah.

All right, then a glass house. Okay. All right. You do what I mean is that glass house is metaphorical. It's about the fragility of your situation as compared to your aggression or your... You see, I just prefer, you know, what you say is what you mean, so people in who live in a glass house have to answer the door. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. I don't. I that. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I that, you. I mean. I mean, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, that, the, that, that, the, that, that, the, the, that, the, the, the. the. the. that, that, that, that, thi. a glass house have to answer the door. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. I mean you may be a genius because I don't get that. People who live in glass houses have to answer the door. Okay let's hear his explanation. Because the people knocking up the door will be able to see you because it's a glass house. But what, but you literally mean it, don't you? There's no analogy there, a metaphor for you. You literally mean if you live in a glass house and someone knocks the door.

So there's no hidden meaning in there, is there? Well, normally. You don't have to add a number of other things. Another, other caveats. Surely, if you live in a glass make, you could actually make that into quite a nice saying there because if that meant, if someone said that to me and they weren't a shaved chimp, right, if they said people who live in glass houses have to answer the door, I think that means, oh yeah it means that there are no secrets you can't hide behind anything.

If you're, if you're very open, if you've chosen to be totally open all the time, you can't go back on it. So people, if you wear everything on your sleeve, if you shout around and you tell the truth and you can't go back on it, they can see through you. You can mean that as well, yeah. Oh, that's handy. But just the idea that in your head, there are, there that's that that that that that that that that the that's that's that's that's they. that's that's that's they. they. that's they. that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a thi. that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that. that's that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. the. the. the. the the. the the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that. the. that. that. that.there should be sayings for people who live in glass houses. Who is it that's living in a glass house? Well, I'm not talking about it. It's just that if everyone else is bringing up about these people who are living in glass houses, let's get to the real problems they've got. He's still hasn't got to grips with the idea of the best.

People who live in glass houses should live near a glazier. Well here's another saying, right, that I learned recently from a mate, right? Well, there's an elephant in the room. Okay, I haven't heard that one, but explaining it to me. It's like when you, when something's going on in a room, right, but no one's mentioning it, because everyone's a bit too, sort of, but in a way it's better that it's out. It's like how, you know, you, whenever we go out for something to eat or a drink or something, it's normally after about five minutes, the sort of topic gets on to the shape of my head. Yeah, yeah, well I can't resist the shape of your head. Right, so you're happy talking about it. It's not just the shape though, it's the state of it as well, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, outside, his head. It's perfectly round, it's got no hair where it should have, and it's hollow.

The features are slightly too small for the face. Yeah, unbelievable. No, but what I'm saying is, it's interesting now, like, I'm the elephant in the room, nobody's talking about it. You mention it once, suddenly it's a talk of the town. It's what I mean everybody starts joining in going, well yeah it's round but it does suit you and these are people who I don't even know sometimes and they're all dipping in and that is an elephant in a room. So you don't want people to discuss the shape of your head or the lack of hair. You would feel

better, you'd feel happy that they didn't mention that. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes, sometimes. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, the lack of hair. You would feel better, you'd feel happier that they didn't mention that. Sometimes I think it's better that it's out there. It's made me a stronger person though. It's the same way, you know, we're talking about religion and that. Samson Delilah. Yeah. He got weaker without air. Whereas with me, I's it like having a bald head? And you know what I mean? So it's made me stronger. But would you ever wear a wig? Um, not really. What was a long wig like Samson? Well, the only time I wanted a wig was when I did jury duty once, right?

And it was annoying that I was sat on the jury right in front of like these criminals, right? Everybody else has got disguises, the judges have them wigs on, right? That's not disguised! That's the disguise! That's the disguise! That's why judges wear them, right? So, no, what if it was a disguise? What do you mean it's a disguise? What do you mean it's a disguise? No, if it was a disguise? No, if it was a disguise? No, if it was a disguise, no disguis a disguised, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the disguise. If it was a disguised, no, no, no, no, no, their their their their they they their their they they their, they they's a disguise. No. No. No, their it was a disguise. No, that's a disguise. No. No. No, that's a disguise. That's a disguise. No, that's a disguise. No, that's a disguise. That's a disguise. No, that's a disguise. That's a disguise. No, that's a disguise. No, that's a disguise. That's a disguise. No, that's a disguise. No, that's a disguise. It was a disguise. It was a disguise, that's a disguise, that it was a disguise, that it was a disguise, that's a disguise, if it was a disguise, if it was a disguise, if it was a disguise, if it was a disguise, if it was a disguise, that's a disguise, they's a disguise. It's a disguise. That's a disguise, they's a disguise. It's a disguise, they's a disguise. It's a disguise attached if it was a disguise. All judges would look like Groucho Marks if it was a disguise. Well I'm just saying that's what annoyed me when I was sat there on the front row, right? I couldn't have been any closer to the criminals, right? I was sat there and I thought why didn't I just pop a little wig on or pull the glasses. I would have to see it because in this country the country the country the country th thi th tho the country the country the country the country their their their their their their their their their their their to have seen you in the front row at Crown Court. No, because... I'd love to see it because in this country you're not allowed to show pictures

of jurors. You can't take photos in a courtroom so there's always these sketch artists that draw drawings and it's on the news. The idea that we'd have seen 11 people and the sort of crusty the clown figure out. It would have been amazing. Yeah, I would would have the the sort the sort the sort the sort the sort the sort th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd thirty thirty thirty thirty thus. I'd have thus. I'd have th. I'd have thus. I'd have thus. I'd have th. I'd have th. I'd have th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd to see. I'd to see. I'd to see. I'd to see. I'd thus. I'd to see like complicated people, oh yeah he looks into character and then just a little round head. Charlie Brown. Yeah, Charlie Brown sitting on the end. I went home and looked up Freud on the internet didn't find him that interesting so looked at some other philosophers. Socrates, Aristotle, why have you just listed some philosophers? Just a show that I'm learning. Well that's a list. You might as I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I their their their their their their their their their their their their their to show that I'm learning. Well that's not learning that's just learning their names. That's a list. You might as well write one to a

hundred. Yeah but if someone says oh what's your favorite philosopher I'll go on a minute and I've got them written down. But why are you waiting? I'll go home get my enormous diary yeah yeah yeah get a wheelbarrow bring in my workings and say one of the names I've written when they they why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th thy thy thy thy thy thy they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they names I've written down. When they say, well why do you like him, you just just run away? I noticed you put Socrates first, why is it your favourite philosopher? You throw the diary out of them and leg it. Oh, and then you go on to say it's weird, oh names have changed, but then there's no other point there. It's just isn't it. When you think about like that that, like that, like that, like that, like that, like th, like th the the th. Like th. th. Like, like th. Like, like th. Like, like th. th. their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi.'s no other point there. It's just isn't it? When you think about like Socrates,

I've never heard that on anyone who I know. Is what I mean, it's just in a way... But you're not Greek, are you? But how did that go about back then? I mean, when, say if you were phoning someone up and he said, I'm booking the table for two the old name, Socrates, do they ever go, cheers without going, can you spell that for me? But I don't know what's what you're making?

I'm just saying it's a name that's awkward, you're always going to have to go, you spell that for me. You go, and it's not just him. Look at all the other names that are on that list. But they're from a different country and a different country, and a different country, and a different country, and a different, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, they're, they're, th. th. they're, th. th. th. they, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, th. th. they're, they're, they're, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what. But. th. th. But. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're, I. they're, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm they're, I'm they're, I'm they're, I'm they're they're they're they're to what, what, what, what, what, what names have been to Rome and stuff and you sort of go. Ancient Rome? Just just, it hasn't changed has it? Rome so it can be ancient Rome or Rome in 2006. It's the same buildings. I used to love Nero going around on his feet at Punto. Laosu from years ago came up with some good stuff.

One, he who knows does not speak, he who speaks does not know. Not entirely true. To lead people the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their the name the name the name their. I the name the name the name their. I the name. I have their. I have their. I have the names. I have to to to to to to to to to to their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He to. He, to. He to. He, to. He to. He th. He th. He the the the the the the the. Not entirely true. To lead people, walk behind them. And of course the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Yeah, did that. Just favorites. Maybe this is why people are at the start line, spectating at the Commonwealth Games. Well, I, no, it's just that I've never understood why in Olympics and stuff like that. If you're going to watch don't stand around the start line go to the end where you see the winner but because of that saying it actually makes sense don't it? It's like well every step starts with a step or whatever. Say again? Every race you know you've got

start with a with a step. Yeah. So so... What am I talking to now? You or your brain? Well I was thinking about a bit so I think I was in control of it a bit more. So and what have you come up with? Just if you want to stay out the start line, do. What does that mean? I'm just saying if you're into I wouldn't watch a race, right? Okay. Is it is you or you you you you you you you you you the th th th th th th th th th th to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the th. the the the? the try try try try try try try try tou? try try to to try? to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that mean? I'm just saying if you're into... I'm not... I wouldn't watch a race, right? Okay, is it you or your brain I'm talking to you now? This is me. Okay. I wouldn't watch. Are you going to bring Would you just say you would? What did it? Yeah, you said that's the place to start because every race starts from the step. No, but I wouldn't normally. I won't watch any race.

The brain definitely hasn't been used to that. Is it you or your brain you're talking about now? It was just saying, if I was on holiday, and Suii and Sun, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and I said, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and there, and, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's there's there's there's there's th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. tho. the. th. the. there's there's there's there, every every every, there, well let's go, keep going down the road and stand up the finish line. Okay, but now I've got to be tallu, I'd say, well hang on a minute, every race starts with a single step. Yeah. How many people around the start line? Is there more room there? She goes, yeah, I'll go, let's go there then. to the start of the end then? If it was down to me I'd just

probably stay at the finish line. Okay so you wouldn't want to see the first step then? So what does it lose Lazoo now then? It's not what but I wrote down three of this that one isn't my favorite that was the third I preferred I preferred I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I prefer I I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer I prefer the the the the the the what would you do to lead someone now then? Um, well if you're behind, you don't have to take responsibility, do you? You can go, well, I didn't send you where you went there. That's not really leading them, oh, is it? Yeah, because I've made them think. I've gone, uh, they go, oh, I've been looking where you're going? I haven't led him in that hole, but

they've learned a lesson, they won't go in a hole again. Anyway, listen, Rob's question is this, Karna, it's specifically to you. Carl, if you could have a superpower, like Superman, what would your superpower be? Can I suggest consciousness? Can I have the power of thought? Remember you've already got opposable thumbs? Sorry, that crossed that one off the list. Oh, go on Carl. There are so many to choose from, telepathy, x-ray vision, flight, invisibility. Choose it wisely. Strength, intelligence. But why have I been picked? Oh, for God's sake! No, no, but I'm just saying, it's Rob's question for you. But I just say does anyone else want this or do you know what I mean? Oh what do you wish you could

do that's impossible is the question or out of what? What do you mean? Because with that comes a responsibility. With enormous power it does come great responsibility. So would it what would you like spidey senses is that what you're saying? Would you like some senses? Would you like some sense? The power of sense? Come on car, you know what these superheroes because they can, they can, they can freeze things, they're never happy are they? Do you what I mean? Spider-man that wanted to tell that girl that he had, he could climb walls and that, he's, he's, he's, he's, th..... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. the, the, the, th. the, th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, the, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. Would, thi. Would, thi. Would thi. to. toge. to. toge. toda. th. th. the. thi. Would, their, -Man wanted to tell that girl like he had, he could climb walls and that, he's like I can't. Superman didn't never told Lewis and that. Who's Lewis? Who's Lewis? Who's Lewis? It's just a pen pal with Superman. Lewis? He's little secret John. Yeah. All right, Superman. Hello Lewis. the thu- Superman, who are you? I can't tell you, Lewis. Brilliant.

You know, Hulk, he wasn't happy. So... But you're being allowed to choose the superpower. You don't have to get it forced upon you like the Hulk. He wasn't happy! He's true, he's got a theme. There's not many happy superheroes, are the they? But leaving aside the superheroes you're already aware of, what superpowers you want? You don't have to fight crime with it, Carl. Everyone around the world now is thinking, what can Carl choose? Let's deliver it to him now, Carl. Think about it and give us the answer, please.

Let me just remind you some of the other things. Invisibility. All the time though, or can I sort of turn that on and off? Let's say you could turn it on and off. Would that interest you? Yep. I love that. Right. Okay, and what would you do with this power of invisibility? Just sort of wander about and not just not get seen. It's brilliant power! It's brilliant!

And it's put to such brilliant use! It's really well done! And why would you want to walk around and not be seen in that? What would you gain from that? I don't know, you could sort of go in, go in shops, so you don't have to go. How would you get in? Just get in just before they lock up.

Oh yeah! How would you get out? Wait until the morning. Brilliant. So hang on. So that's your use of invisibility. They found the power of invisibility. You want to sneak into HMV, right?

Wait for 12 hours and then buy something. Ah, I love it. Just so that you don't have to be in there with other people. Do you know what? I don't want a power. Why not? Because I just don't think it'll do me any good. I think it's more of a hindrance.

I love this. Just tha tha tha tha tha, just, just, just, I tha, I tha, I tha, I tha, I tha, I'm tha, I'm thoen, I'm thoen, I'm thoom. I'm thoom. I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm thi, I'm tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho, tho, thin. tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. thin. thooooo. tho. thin. thi. thi. th. Just think of his presents, we've given you a go, a trip into space and the chance to be invisible. Not happy with any of them. Yeah. What he wants is a voucher for HMB. Yeah, yeah, he just wants some tokens for a record. When's the exams? June? Something like that. We're registered, we're try and register next week and I reckon you can get an A or B in history. No, don't worry about it, it's just easy. I get your Brody's notes. If Heat, Heap magazine, they love you, Carl, they can probably sort some out. They can probably pay for a tutor.

They've got a lot of money, they've sold a lot of magazines. I mean, it is always, almost always, and you found, and you've always, and you've always, and almost, and almost, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they.e, they.e, they.e, they.e, they.e, they.e, they, they, their, they, the Tudors and Stuarts there's no fear for them that they're not coming up now what do you know what you already know about them you must know already know stuff about Henry 8th and Elizabeth no because it just it's too long ago to even get interested in you know you know theyndrake is that why I mean their. The Anderson thing it was like I don't know even if they had a family back then. Coy. Oh, my God.

It's got, the problem with the moon is. The problem with the moon is. It's been around ages on it. There's a statement. The problem with the the the the the the the the the the the the the mmoom. the the moom. the moom. the the the the moom. the moom is. the moom is. the moome. the moome. the moome. It's. It's. It's. the the the the the the the the problem. It's. It ages on it, but it's got no history. It's got nothing to show for it. Just a load of old rocks and stuff. And for me, history is created by stuff happening on it. So really, the moon, even though it's old, in a way it's new, because it's untouched on that. But we don't go, we don't go to the moon to visit museums or arcades. Say like Emery the Eighth, right, you watch Antiques Roadshow, whatever, and some woman

goes, oh this plate you've got, this was Emery the Eighths, and as you can see, you can see the knife marks on it, oh look, there's some chicken on it, right? And you go, oh God, yeah, that's amazing. Then someone goes in and goes, here's a plate of Enrily the Eighths, but it hasn't been used, it's still in the box. You'd go, well, it's not as good that. It's got no history. No, because very often on the thak's, thak's, thak's, thak's, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thian, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, yeah, that, yeah, that, that, yeah, that, that's, that's, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, that's, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's kept that, don't throw that away, why? Arthur Negus are like that in a few hundred years time. No, do you understand what I'm saying? Things are only good if stuff's happened on it? The

moon, you're up there, you're having a lot, you're going to, you're going to, no their their their research purposes, for scientific research. research. research. research. research. research. research. What, there. What, thine, th. What, th, th, th, th, th, th. What, th. What, thin, thi, they, thin, their, thin, their, their, their, their, th air. It's just a long way to go from up. They're just not doing that. Well, they're not, are they because last time they went up they were playing golf or something. There's golf balls up there that they've been whacking about. What sort of research is that? That's what I'm saying. There's nothing up there. Oh, nothing. Fancy a knock about? Why are they knocking golf balls about if there's really important stuff to look at? You don't see people in museums going, fancy having a knock? Knock some golf balls about now? I'm looking at this vase.

Oh right, that's interesting. But on the moon, nothing. Nothing to look at. What other games have you brought? That's what I mean? And then we went and had a look at the volcanoes that. They've got 36 of them to look at. How did you look at before you realise that you've, you know, pretty much, you've seen one volcano, you've seen them all. Probably about six or seven. Really? And then when you go into the eighth you thought, now I know what this is going to be like a mountain with a hole in the top? Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu thu thu thu thu tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu thu that's that's thu that's thou' that, that, thou' thou' that, thou' that, thou' that, thou' they that, thou th mountain with a hole in the top. Yeah. Really? But it happened years ago as well. It's like just keep a couple, fill the rest in, tidy it up.

Ha ha ha ha! Fill the rest in! Well, okay it's some builders? No, seriously there are four million tons of concrete, please? They're an absolute death trap. Yeah, what, yeah. What do you mean fill the too? Dockin, do the the the the th. Do th. Do the th. Do th. th. the the th. the th. the th. th. th. the the th. the th. the the th. Fill the the the th. Fill in, the the the the th. Fill the the th. Fill the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Fill th. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill. Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill, fill in, fill, fill, fill in, the the the the the toda, toda. the toda. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the more a portal to the magma in the centre of the earth. Back in 1730 it happened, and they still haven't sorted it out. Well, when you say it happened, volcanoes were made a lot longer than 17K. No, but the one that did lands are rotting in. Right. Sort it out. What do you suggest? How can they fill it in? It's joined, it's all joined. The big plates of the earth are all joined. It was a disaster with the trade centre thing, that happened.

They cleaned it up, sorted it out, they've moved on. That's what I'm saying. Whereas Lanza Rottie have just gone, leave it. It happened back in 1730. You misunderstand me. How, in the name of God can you fill in a volcano, you ignorant twit. But it's not just the holes, they've actually left the lava everywhere. That's what I mean. It's not just the big holes, there's lava everywhere. But it's molten rock. They can't just pick it up like a carpet. But in the holes, the oald holes are there ready, just push it all in. The world's oldest tortoise. A 250 year old tortoise died last week. Yeah, in a zoo in India. 250 years old. So would that have had that thing that they say about how you get like a flashback of your life?

You mean your life flashes before your eyes? Yeah, they say don't me, just like on your last breath or whatever. You look like, see you're coming out of the womb and everything. Well, one, I don't believe that's true. I don't believe your life flashes before you. I don't know, I don't know what evidence we've got. People who die say, you never guess what's happening. No, but there's loads of things that have happened where people go, oh, that's weird, that goes to show that we've been around before or...

No, it doesn't. I have no evidence for that. Well, I told you that time when it happened to me when I was younger. Go on. You're like, that's like, the flash, the flashbacks. It was, um, I was having a bath, right? And, uh, my mom had like run the bath and that. And she said, is that too warm? And I said something like, no, it's, it's all right. It's a lot better than when he used to have a, have a bath in that, thrown, in front of the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, and the fire, and the fire, and the fire, and the fire, and the fire, and the fire, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, and, and, the, the, and, the, and, th. to, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, th. And, and, th. And, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, the, and, the, the, and, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the, the, the, the, the, the fire. Okay. And she was like what? And I said, you know, it happened years ago. She was a bit like, oh. And I can't remember that now, but she talks about it. And you know, that just goes to show that. Because I was at an age when I wouldn't have known about wooden baths years ago in front of fire. No, but you talk rubbish now. you talk rubbish. So why would you talk rubbish? the throw. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu, all, all, all, all, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, I, I thu, I that, I'm, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. I th. I thu, I thu, I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I can't, I can't, I'm ta, I can't, I'm, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I if you're aware of knowledge. I didn't know about wooden baths, so why would I have invested that? But Carl, we've only got your mother's word on this and she thought you might one day be

a doctor. So she put a rock with a feather on it to keep a parrot company. Lest we forget. Yeah, but I'm just just saying. Well, it's all bollucks. So have you you you you you you you the research. the research. the research. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the you. you. you. the you you you you you you you you you you you th. th. th. th. you th. you to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. You. You. You th. I tot. I tol. I tol. I tole. I tole. I to. tole. to. to. tole. to. tolu. to. this, you've tried to find out when little Carl Mark One and his wooden bath when he was right? No, I don't want to go there because that's when you start digging out all sorts of trouble. It's rubbish. It's rubbish. Well, it is rubbish. What sort of stuff? . .

. because you're only going to find stuff you don't really want to know about. It's the same as that, leave it, let it be. Do you know what I mean? If your granddad was Einstein, you'd know about it because your family would be shouting about it. If he was a badden, you go, keep that quiet. So don't look at family trees and it's the same. Don't be looking back in your past lives. Well, Carl on the Wooden Bath. Proof. If Proof you... Carl Wilkinton, live on air, talking shit again. But this tortoise, so if that's... And also its flashbacks would just be, you know, the same wall.

I mean it basically spent, I don't know how many years, in a cage. It was in the zoo. So it died of liver failure. Which is a problem if you are atortois, because with us they can cut your open and have a look at a liver. With that, it's going, forget it, we're not getting in there. It's like you where you didn't want the plumbers to knock through the tiles to check out the piping. It's where the tortoers. If it's a liver, we're not going intern lorgans with a giant tortoise. Why not? Because what do you mean? Well, can't you drill into those things? It is only a shell.

That is easy to replace than skin. Carl, I was joking. You can't do a liver operation on a tortois. Why not? It's got all the same parts, on it? All the same body parts on that. Well, I don't know that's the point. Well, not really, but yeah, it's just... But better ones in a way, because they live longer. So they're doing something right, aren't they? If they can live 250 odd years, our art can't do that.

Which is what I say about our tortoise has got it right in a way that it's taking its time on everything. We're rushing about, getting stressed out. That's just, you know, getting on with it. It's not rushing. It eats healthy, don't it? It eats lettuce and stuff. So that's probably doing it right, but to be honest, it's too much. I wouldn't want to live 250 years. Just eating lettuce. Let's not forget that all the t the the the t torto is the t torto is the t torto is the t torto is the t the t tortus. tortus. tortus. tortus. tortus. tortus. tortus. tortus. tortus. tot tot tot tot th. tho tot tot t forget that all the tortoise does is eat lettuce It's not like it's jet skiing weekends and then getting its lettuce on a Monday That's all it does is eat lettuce. Yeah And that appeals to you does it, does it? No, I'm just saying that it must be doing something right though Of course it's doing something right because it's living 250 years But all animals dothey live. Mayflies live a day, but they're doing something right. Well, they're not, hardly. They haven't got a chance to learn how to do it right.

And then they're dead. You know, that's from one extreme to another, isn't it? That just seems a bit mental to me, that living a day. I wouldn't bother. So I so bother bother bother bother bother. So I so I so forget. Could you be bothered? You don't, just as you get to know someone. Yeah, another Mayfly. Yeah, but I'm just saying if we had that, if that's how we lived our lives, you wouldn't have a chance to make a mark or anything, would you? It's just... Would you try and pack a lot in that day? Uh, Disneyland, whatever. No, I'd prefer to make it miserable so I don't miss it, if you know what I mean. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, if that's, if that's, if that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, if thi, if thi, if thi, if thi, if that's thi, thi, that's thi, thi, thi. If that's thi. If that's thi. If that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's it if you know what I mean but I was thinking the other day about you know your body and everything because it is

amazing in it how it works oh yeah yeah does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain I don't know if I'm in charge of mine no nor do I can't do I know I mean though by that? Does the brain control you or do you control the brain? Don't you ever sort of think sometimes, say if you're making... But you are the brain? No, no, but I was making a shopping list, right? Going right, I need some rice, kidney beans, and I thought I had everything, and I sort of was rolling, tha, tha, was, was, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, th and, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, think, think, thin, thin, to thin, think, think, thin, think, thin, think, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, thi, don't, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to to to to to too, too, too, they. they. Doe. Doe. Do you they. Do you the tho. Do you was rolling up the paper and then something went,

oh an onion. Your brain did that? Something went an onion was it? No, well my brain, my brain sort of went, you forgot something. Yeah. I didn't think I'd forgot. I was not in the brain. No, no, but don't you understand the brain? My brain, I was in control of my brain. When I was writing down rice and kidney beans. But you're not in charge of the onion. That's another part of the brain that's in charge of the onion.

Onion, the onion sector. No, but I put the paper away, putting my coat on ready to go. Ready to go. But they're not, but you're not, but in the paper in pocket. Yes, but you're not even thinking about that shopping list. It's in my pocket, I'm thinking, don't need my gloves, it's cold out. Suddenly, onion. And it was like, oh yeah, onion, yeah, I had to get the paper out. What I'm saying is, who's in charge?

The brain, the mind, the brain is the... What are you dreaming who is in charge? That's just just, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. It, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, tho, and it was like, and it was like, and it was like, and it was like, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th.. And, th. And, th. And, the, th. It, the, the, the, th. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was like, th. It was, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was, th. It was, and, and, it was, and, it was he remembered the onion. You must have forgotten things in the past. No, but not like that, not where, like it just made me think, that was weird, who reminded me of that? You did? Yeah, but I'm not... No, you are your brain. It's not like there's you, then there's a brain, then there's an extra one looking down it, oh, you know, the meta, the meta, the meta, the meta, the meta, the meta, the meta, the meta brain the thing above it. No but your brain... how does your brain work?

You give it information don't you? Will it take... Do you mean you give it information? If I sat in a room with nothing, not feeding it anything, he wouldn't know anything? No but it's this thing that there's this thing that there's... There's not a duality in this. If you go, if you go come on, come on now think. T' you you you you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th thi, th thi, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, thi, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, you give, th th th th th th th th, th th th th, th th, th, th, th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th thi, thi, thi, the the thi, thi, the thi, the the the the the the the the the the thi the the thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, their thithing that there's... There's Carl and Carl's brain. Yeah, there's not a duality in this. If you go, come on, come on, now think. That's the brain saying that to itself. It's not, there's not two people in there having an argument coming, come on brain. And the brain's going, oh don't you start, I was thinking then. And the other things saying's thing's things saying's things saying's things things things things things things things things things thin's thin's thin's the brain's the brain's the brain's the brain's the brain's the brain's the brain's the brain's going is the brain's Carl onion you are your brain if you are

anything you are you are your mind your brain your collection of memories your personality you're not what you look like to answer your question Carl what do you think I then you were thinking of a tortoise on a skateboard then when I did that last sentence when I said that last week we promised people that you'd researched Sigman Freud yeah but I had a look but I didn't find him that interesting so. But that's not... But this is what I mean, this is what we were talking about.

You say you wish you could go back and learn stuff in school because you didn't. You want knowledge. You always say what you want to learn something interesting every day. Yeah, I want to learn something. Yeah, I had a look at the website, it just... Oh, oh, Sigmund Freud.com. Yeah, he started that. I just had a lock, I just did a search on like, famous quotes from... Quotes, brilliant. I get everything you need a quote. That's it.

That sums up a man's life work, a quote. No, but that's what you rememberedigmund didn't really have any sort of... Catchphrases is what you mean. Yeah, yeah, things that you're here. Yeah, sound bonds. He wasn't good with the press. Brilliant. So you won't bother to learn about it.

You didn't even pick up a book? I wouldn't know where to start. Do you feel like you're thinking in your head? Sometimes like then I was, but I don't know if I am because it's got a mind of its own, on it. I did look at some of the things that he'd said and the one... Do it now. Do it now. What have you learned about Freud?

Okay, here we go. This is Carl, Educates Ricky and Steve, number one, Sigmund Freud. Carl, tell us what you learned about Sigmund Freud. Carl, tell us what you learned about Sigmund Freud. Right. All I remember was that he said, a baby, you look at a little baby having some milk from its man's breast, right? He looks well happy. It has enough. It's full up. It goes to sleep, it's got a smile on its face. Right? He said, that's what happened when you're older as well. That's all I remember from all the things that he was saying on his thing. He just said it's weird how like... Absolutely. Now to be fair Rick, that is obviously in transation. Yeah, I know. I'm not having to go. Freud has been discredited on some issues and we've moved on with that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tha, tha, thii. thi him, you know. I mean, Freud has been discredited on some issues and we've moved on with experimental

psychology and what are you. But that's the one that was interesting. I don't quite follow, so what do you take from that? Explain that to us in layman's terms? Um, I don't know. Well that's pointless. With our application, knowledge is pointless but it's not knowledge is it he's just saying drink milk all your life it's good for you can't say in drink milk all your life what is this is this an advert he's doing now he also came up with good work on an egg yeah oh Christ almighty but but like I said I wasn't that impressed by by his by his work so unbelievable Carl is allowed to vote he's allowed to cast a vote in this country.

It doesn't make sense. You know, I wish I hadn't. I've only done it once and look what happened. I've got to call it for jury duty. It's not doing it again. People do what they do anyway. I think the only let us vote. So we feel like we're having a saying what's going on. But really, it just carries on, don't it? I haven't seen a big change. But that's exactly why you vote. No, the best thing you can do is look after yourself.

Get on with it. Brilliant. OK, well, I hope that's a quote. I hope someone out there who's maybe making a dictionary of quotes or an encyclopedia and they've finished with Freud, they've done Froyd, they've done Pavlov, a dog on the head with a stick, next Carl Pilkington. What would, what did you say about the world? Just get on with it. Just get on with it. Brilliant. We're not in charge of it. That's nearly as good as let's go to the beach. Winston Churchill. I spoke to my dad and he said, I said, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've to, I've, I, I've to to to, to, to, to, the, the, the, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, it and he called up saying, oh I'm sick of hearing about this. Some quality thinking here, go on. Go on.

No, he was saying about global warming and that. He was saying he's sick of hearing about it. Because at the end of the day, that's just the world and it, we're all getting old, and the world's getting old. That's the end of it. Brilliant! What another amazing quote? Well it is, what we're trying to do. This is what I'm saying about, we don't like people to get old, we're always saying oh we can change that face, we can lift your chin up, we can put a wig on you. Why are you so annoyed about people wanting to live a little bit longer?

Because enough is what I'm saying. The world's the world's the same it's just getting old and you know it used to have more green on it but now it's going a bit bald so it hasn't got as much green it's got more soil treat the world like a head that's an amazing quote treat the world like a head you've actually come up with one there I thought of another phase you could just just sitting here talking to you flogging a dead horse yeah what do you th what th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th the th th th th the th th th th the th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the world the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the world the world the world th the world the world the world the world the world the world the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thee theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the the the the the the the talking to you. Flogging a dead horse. Yeah. What do you think that means? Flogging a dead horse? A number of people are still amazed by your complete lack of understanding some of these famous sayings and phrases.

So that's an easy one. Yeah, that's like, you know, get a new horse or... No, he hasn't got it. No one's going to buy it. No, it doesn't mean that sort of flogging. When you're it in it. Yeah, right. So what's the point in hitting it?

So, it's dead anyway, so don't bother it, it's not pointless. It's a pointless. It just means, it's a it's that thing in it of like a if a bear attacked you and you managed to hit it on the earth and it went down you'd go and you be annoyed you still have built up aggression you give it an extra clout. Sometimes it's worth blogging a dead horse. Oh unbelievable. I don't know who's compiling this book. Sometimes it's worth blogging a dead horse if he did something to be annoyed him with respect to Carl never before.. th I I I I I I th th th th th th th th the th th th th th the th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th to to to to to th and to to to to th the tho tho to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho the thus thus thus thus thus to be annoyed him with respect to Carl never before have I understood so little of what a man

says. Virtually everything that Carl talked about was aloof to me what on earth was he ranting about? Flies and condoms, monkeys and pushing the left button, cavemen and dinosaurs. And that's just some of you, I mean let's be honest if you are in America I mean that's the accent. the problem. But that is the best write-up we've ever had. Yeah. Flies and, imagine if you're a new listener, flies and condoms. What on earth does that mean? This one's from Kent Plummer from Nova Scotia, Canada. He says, Carl, he's wondering if you've got any personal mantras that you could pass along. For instance, he reminds us of Ben Franklin's famous mantra, Waste Not, want not. Who said that? Ben Franklin.

What was he? What did he do? What was his job? Benjamin Franklin was a well-respected American politician from the 1800s. He was a thinker of a philosopher, a scientist, deeply respected, and also a political figure he features on the dollar bill or the ten dollar bill or something. So he's one of the great sort of American enlightenment thinkers and he came up with the mantra, waste not want not. I mean that's just... Do you understand the phrase waste not want not? No, not really, what does it mean? You've never heard that? I've I the mantra the mantra the mantra. I the mantra. I the mantra. I the mantra. I the mantra. I the mantra. I the mantra. I must the mantra. You must the mantra. You must. You must. You must. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. their. their. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. the. He. He. He. He. He, no. What does it mean? You've never heard that? I think I've heard it, but I don't know, I've never used it.

But when someone else said it, I don't know what... Well, in context, I mean, all I'm going to do now is paraphrase that and put some prepositions and stuff in it for you. I can't work out how you can't work out what what that w w work like don't throw stuff away because you might need it and therefore you won't be wanting anything because you didn't throw it away. So he was a bit of a hoarder. Well if you don't waste food for instance then he was a bit of a hoarder. For God's sake. No no but I'm just saying just saying, you know, he's a man in power. Is that the best thing he ever said? No, I'm sure he came up with many, many profound things.

He had experiments in electricity and conducting electricity all sorts. That impresses me more. But that impresses me more than someone. He didn't invent electricity. He didn't invent electricity. Wait a minute. Don't impress you more than what? Just just saying, well it's not one, not. I don't think it's that good. It's not even catchy. What I don't understand is why he was the first person to sort of suggest look. Don't go chucking that out, keep it, you might need it later. If I said... He wasn't the first person. Say that is brilliant. That is amazing that you just come up with th th th with th with th with th with th with th with th with that with that with that with that with that with that with that with that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that again? That is brilliant. Now that, why isn't that catch on? That is amazing

that you've just come up with air. That's poetry. How would you word it? I'd just say, whoa, don't be chucking that out, you might need that later. to be checking that out. to be chake, that's it. Waste not what they mean. Culled. Waste, it's not he's perhaps a little bit more pithy, a little bit more... We should go through great sayings and phrases and say... See if you can... Well, first, does he know what they mean and then secondly, can he improve them? That would be brilliant. We'll make it a little bit every week. So, uh, let's say, okay, Winston Churchill, um, never have so few, done so much for so many. What do you do you know what that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that means that that that that that means that means that means that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. they. that's that's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. their. th. th. th. the th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the th of that? How would you, do you know what that means? So he's saying...

Well it's with regard to the Battle of Britain and the pilots that gave their lives. Yeah, I'd just be annoyed if I was one of them who gave a lot for a few or whatever, right? No, gave a lot for so many. If you were one of those few, that gave so much for so many, i.e. means these few good men, their actions freed the world. They freed the world. They have an impact on that, every person in the world and they were a few brave men, yeah, and that's what he's saying. Yeah, but what I'm saying is, if I was one of them men who gave up his life, right, I'd want a name check. I don't want to be bungled in with everyone else who is saying a load of bloke gave her the lives, well done on that. See you later. That's brilliant.

Did you just say bungled in? Yeah. Bungled in. You made up a word. See, that's it, you see, we've been looking for it. That's original. I don't want to be bungled in. I think trousers, I the trousers the trousers the trousers, I thouses, I think trousers are going to be stopped being made. Just because you see kids now, they've got the pants around their ankles.

They're going further and further down. So I think that's evolution, just getting rid of the trouser. Right. It's just dropping naturally. That's the evolution of the traiser because it's dropping inclinically down the ice. You see kids under pants, so they're just dropping. I think they'll get to a point when they just don't bother wearing them anymore. Right. Prediction one.

That's an amazing one! They'll stop making traces in the future, okay? Uh, we're going to get weaker. We're going to get weaker. That's that's that's that's that's already that's already happened. Uh, they used to say, you know, an apple the day keeps a doctor away. Now they say and eat five fruits. Right. So we've definitely that's that's evidence.

You can't argue with that. I probably put that first because he goes right. What's number two? So swap that round. Okay, that's the pump second. Yep. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. They used to say, and I'm gonna die, keep the dogs away.

They used to say they used to say put your trousers up. They say put him down there you can. I'm gonna answer that fucking trouble! Number three. Right, number three. Oh, the scholars are now waiting with bated breath when they find this old scroll and they go, Ooh, what can number three be? Uh, the sco-uh.

I reckon we'll blend all our feet! Ah! What are they different babies, you mean? Yeah, I just think, when you think about all the stuff we eat now, cavemen chewing on big lumps of meat, we add wisdom teeth. Yeah. Now they say, we'll took them out, you're not using them. Why not use them? Because your food's soft.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, everything's softer...? When you get an avocado, they say is it soft, everyone's squeezing the food before they buy it. Yeah, no one wants anything tough. So I think I think chewing is a sort of thing the thing of past. We haven't got the time to chew. Everyone's like, hurry up, eat that. Well he does blend his food, I think. Okay so blending food, great. I reckon, what else do we do now? So I've done teeth, done done the trousers. I've come up with this idea. It's sort of like glasses but you can live

wherever you want to live. What do you mean? Everything that's real, you're not looking at that anymore. This is really the future. I'd put this at number 10. This is like... We're only doing five. Fuck me. So what you mean is that you look through the glasses and instead of seeing what the real world you see a tropical paradise. So if you're a young kid and you like the idea of living in the urban ghetto with all graffiti on the walls and that, you can see that. Yeah, but hold on, are you walking around? Because you'll be bumping into stuff, won't you? No? Why not? What you mean is that the stuff stuff that's there in the real world world? the world? the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the? the? the. the. toge? toge? toge? toge? toge? the. the. the. the. the. their their their their is being digitally reimagined in your glasses so what was a nice country lane is suddenly now an urban ghetto. Sure. Absolutely mental point this one ever worked. Absolutely one of the

mastics you ever said. Really weird that one. Yeah yeah it could be it could be easily done. Okay okay last one last number four of a load of bollics so what's number five? There'll be more letters in the alphabet. Why? Why? Because we're running out of words now, aren't we? No, we are. We are definitely running out of words. It's using the letters we've already got and making new words. No, but we haven't got enough now. Of course we have. Have you any idea, you could have a word with nine L's before you run out.

Yeah, and they do in Wales and what have you. That's because their alphabet is short than ours. They've only got something like 24 letters over there. Right. But they go mental with the L. Now what we do is we've got 26 letters. Hmm. But we're not. We're not. We're th. We're th. We're th so so so so so so so so so so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so. We're th so. th so. th so. th so. th so. th so th so. th so th so th so th so th so th. thus. thi. thus. thus. th. th. th. they're th. th. they're th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're now struggling. We're struggling at tom. We are. We're not. We're not. We're so stupid. Bos wallocks in shampoo. Now there's a word where they've gone well we've invented something

in shampoo. the buzz wallocks? Have you just made that? No, it's not. They go, new, new word. New with Boswalots and Ceramide are. Yeah, but that's a new woeoloss w. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thiwolux. th. thiwolux. th. th. th. thioloss wal, th. th. thioloss wal, they's, th. We've they're they're they're they're, they're, we've they're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we's, we's, we's, we's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's they're, they're they're th. they're thiolux. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooosoloss wo tho tho thooooosoloss wall. B. B. they're they're they're but that's a new word because they have to infect they come with the new word. But it's a terrible word. Why? Boswalks. Yeah, it's another word. Is that real? Yeah. Now this is what I'm saying. So years ago when they came up with all the sensible ingredients, uh, sodium. That sounds that sounds like a scea sceauilet. He likes a sordininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininininin s s s s s s s s s sa. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii. thi. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thi. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. sounds... that sounds all right. He likes sodium, he just like Boswops. It sounds like an in something in it like an ingredient. Well yeah but that's because you're used to it. Is this a load of Boswax? Are you winding up the two of you?

It's real. And that's because 26 letters we've wasted them. Years ago we went mental with the you know pneumonia sticking a pee on it and and there's loads of words where the words the words the words. the words. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi's tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. that's th. th. th. that's th. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. So, to to to to to thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So and there's loads of words where you go what's that like doing in there? Whereas now they can't do that they've gone whoa pull that back why is that letter there? And now you've got stuff like abbreviations and stuff. Yeah, let's not waste letters. Let's just control it a little bit. Things cars are called things like you know GTI or something because they're going well I can't think of the word the word the word the word the word the word the word the word th a th. th. th. th. the word th. th. th. th. th. the word. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. their their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. that's. that's. their, you know, GTI or something because they're going, well I can't think of a word to call this. So they're giving them letters.

Think of a word now, think of a word that hasn't been made up. What do you mean? What do you mean? What the word has been made up? No, one that hasn't. That could be used. Crumbly? No, it's too close to that. No, we can't get that past the advertising person. Scrimpton? Yeah.

No, no, no. It's like Ricky, two guns and you accepted his second one. Well, I think we've, I think we've sort of like the future. We get on to, I said, well, the things are on saying, we can see the speed of evolution in lower life forms, like bacteria, viruses, they evolved. That's why soon we won't have an anti-bioch that can kill some certain bacterial strains. And he said, and this is about half 11, then I said, I'm going to bed, right? He said, in the future, they reckon that we're able to wake up and eat a yogurt you can have a chat with.

I don't know what that means. Let's put a song on right. So you're going to explain that? You've got an explanation. He said they reckon and he, I said I'm going to bed, he went, no real. I said no, I'm going to bed car, it's no point now because I mean, it's just like you're talking gody-goop, you know I mean, I might as well talk for a pot plant. He said in the future, they reckon, I don't know who they are, I don't know, people who post things on the internet that in the future you'll be able to wake up. I love you, there's always a little scenario and embellishment, like this little, Oh, hello darling, here's your yoga? Hello. You'll be able to wake up and eat a yogurt you can

have a chat with. All right, well, you know, thanks for that, Rick. I'm looking at you. I'm I'm going to throw that over to Carl. It's when it's when, the way, they. It, they. It, the, the, to, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. It, the, the, the, the, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, oh, hello, hello, hello, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It, hello. It, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's, hello. It's your, hello. It's your, hello. It's your. It's your. It's, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, there. It's, there. It's, there. It's, there. It's, hello, there. It's, hello, there. It's your. It'stoo big and that, isn't it? So, but they were giving it away for free on the plane, so I thought, Dingle. Might as well have it. And I saw a couple of things in it, I thought that would be interesting. I saw this thing about the future and it was talking about evolution and what have you, which you always find, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I might, I might, might, might, might, I might, I might, I might, I might, I might as a, I might as a, I might as a, I might, I might, I might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, might, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I'm a, I'm a I sometimes think... You can't, you can't, by definition, evolution can't get things wrong. Things change that it's not successful, it can't pass on its genetic material or, but if you're around, it's working. Slugs are as evolved as they need to be. Slugs are as evolved as you.

Well, that's true enough. Yeah, no disrespect, but it works. Sorry, what's your point, Carl? No, I mean, I think we probably would have been better off staying as a fish. Just because it's more water than land, didn't they? Right. And you wouldn't drown. This is why I went to bed. No, I'm thinking of dozing off now. No, but it went, do you know what I mean? From, it was bacteria, it was fish, mermaid, man. So anyway.

Oh God! Oh God! There are a few knowledge gaps in your theory evolution. You generally got it right now. So, I mean, basically, yeah, it went, it went, it went, it went, thiii, fish, mermaid man. Um,, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. Oh, the the tha, the the the the the the the th evolution. I mean basically yeah it went it went bacteria fish mermaid man. So what next is the big question? So it was telling you all about this and what have you and say now like we shouldn't have interfered because maybe if we wouldn't have invented planes and what have you, maybe we'd be able to fly and what have you so we really needed to and so on that. So we've interfered with the evolution you see. Right. But then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, but then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, it, it, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. It th. It th. It went, thi, thi, thi. It went, thi. It went, thi. It went, thi. It went, thi. It went, thi, thi. It went, and what have we really needed to and so on that. So we've interfered with the evolution, you see. Right.

But then it was saying, well, what's the future? Well, yes, in one way we have interfered with evolution, yeah, the evolution of the human being in society is changing. It's no longer based on the strongest or the fittest because medical science can keep us alive long enough, people can pass on their genetic material where without this civilization they wouldn't have been able to. So yeah, there are different parameters, there are different pressures, there are different pressures, there are different things that say whether we're going to pass the genetic material or not.

Okay, so in that sense you're right. And that, Rick, as far as I'm aware, is led to a yogurt that you that you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that and have a conversation with. So this is what it was saying, you know, we're living in mad times and that. You know, there's a lot of weird stuff going on. One of which is, go on. And the fellow was just saying, you know, with computers and stuff like that, the way it is. Uh, we'll be able to wake up. Go on. Have a chat with your yogurt. andue. thea. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And thi. thi. And th- th- the. thea. th- th- th- th- th- that- that thi. And that th- th- th- th- th- thi. There thi. And tha thi. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. And tha. tha. tha. tha. the tha. tha. the the tha. tha. tha. And tha., I mean, you have them yogurts already, those friendly yoguts, those bacteria-friendly ones, so this is just a really friendly one. You didn't you... Oh God, I'm my best! Do you know what sometimes, Carl? I think that we're having a chat with a yogurt. Do you know, I didn't, there can't be any difference. Yeah, but then I I was reminded would be more entertaining. Just a good example really of how things can change. At some point, their relationship was all rosy, and then it's, it all changes.

I mean, we're all being tested at the minute, aren't we, really? With this, uh, virus thing going around, stuck at home with your partner. I'd been all right. We've had the odd day. Me and Suzanne had an argument the other day about who had the biggest ed. I don't want to go into full details, but... of who had the bigger head. But it got to the point of getting out of tape measure and measuring the circumference. And it just all happened because they ordered a cap that stated that one size fits all and it fucking

doesn't. I just wish to sort that out because now I've got to fan it about and send it back. One size fits all. Noise me. But then again, I suppose that's what life's about in it. Getting annoyed, being happy, being worried. That's a lot in it, being scared. That's living. That's living. I do like a good moan. And I do like a worry in a way for a little bit. It's a bit of a pastime, keeps your brain active. I always remember a few years back, I used to think about death a lot. You know, we all sort of come into the world in the same way, don't we? But the way you go out, you don't know, you don't know what your exit strategy is, is going to be. And I'd let that worry me. What's going to happen? Is it just going to be and I'd let that worry me. What's going to happen? Is it just

going to be in my sleep or is it going to be something horrible? It mainly happened when I could hear a clock ticking. It was a little reminder that time was just, you know, ticking away and that's my life. And, uh, yeah, it used to bother me. And then I read a story that made me change my mind. And it was about a bloke, and he, um, he died in his bed when a cow fell through the roof, through the ceiling landed on him and you know squashed him dead and for a bit I was like oh god that's that's probably going to be me that.

I have something horrible like that. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought, it's not actually that bad. It's not like an illness that drags on and on. And you're getting weaker, and you're just miserable, and you're sat there just waking up every day thinking, oh I'm still here, how long is this going to go on? He just happened quick and uh, and even, even to the point of, even if he heard that cow coming through the ceiling, I don't think he would have had any, any worry, because I bet, I bet his brain was telling him he was still asleep

and it was a dream because why would a cow be coming through the ceiling? So it sort of made me realize that it's the people who were left behind who is more upsetting for, isn't it? I mean it's the wife in it who has to deal with the with the with the upset of losing her husband and and on top of that she's got like a hole in a roof that she's got to sort out she's got to get a tile around she's got to have the sort of loft rebuilt get a get a plasterer in to sort of so out the ceiling. There's a lot of assel there. And even before all that, getting a cow out the bedroom, because that would have been wandering around, wouldn't it?

And that's not an easy task, shifting one of them, especially if it was upstairs, if it was upstairs in the bedroom, they don't go downstairs, did they? cows? There's something about the legs. I think they can go upstairs but they can't walk down so all that assle he's no idea he's gone by this point she's got all this shit to deal with and that's um it was after reading that story that I realized you know it's pointless worrying about when and where you're gonna die because you'll never know but all I did was I moved the worry I've talked before about the worry and you got a space in your head that you've that you that you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th the th th th th the th th the the th th thi the the the the the the the th th the th the the th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the thee theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thoo the the the the the the the th moved the worry. I've talked before about the worry-ole and you've got a space in your head that you've got a filby worry. So I went from worrying about how I was going to die and where I was going to die to just worry in that Suzanne will die before

me, which I wouldn't want. Because at the end of the day, death is more of a bore lake for the people who are left behind. Which will definitely be the case for Suzanne because she's got to try and find a coffin that will fit my big fat head in it. So that will serve her right for taking the piss. A little bit of calmer. Right, um, I wanted to talk about UFOs today and I haven't, I've sort of ping-ponged around a bit there, maybe do it next time, which I thought was a nice way to sort of chat about another mystery. The mystery of UFOs. I've sort of been watching quite a bit of footage on the internet of UFOs recently.

I think it's just a good escape, and it, you know, everything's a bit sort of shit at them isn't it? No matter where you're living, no matter what country you're in, everything just seems a little bit shitty. So sort of looking at otherworldly stuff is just a good escape and there's loads of footage out there. Some of it you kind of go, oh that looks good, some of it is a joke. I mean he was one that I clicked on, that was a bloke, it was clearly off his tits because he was filming something out of his bedroom window. He was going, there's a bright light, oh look I can't believe it and being visited, there's a bright light, and it was clearly a street light.

So there's a lot of knobbeds like that, but now and again, you get some footage or here, an interview or something that you go, well, this confirms it for me. Like, you know, these other stuff out there. And it was a bit of a chat like Joe Rogan was having, you know the Joe Rogan podcast he was chatting to some commander who was flying about in a like a you know a fighter jet and he was whizzing about enjoying himself, turns his head and sees this UFO just floating about above the water. He was like, what's that? And now this fellow has seen loads of stuff.

If there was new technology out there that we don't know about, he probably would know about it, but he saw this thing and he was like I don't know what that is and it started ping pong about all over the shop he said it was shaped like a tick-tac and it moved about like nothing has ever seen move about before it was like going left right up down and at high speed as well it just didn't make sense to him all right they got some radar footage of it. I'll just show you that. This was it here. It was like moving along at high speed and it was just turning at the same time, which is a bit

odd. But who knows what it was? But I've had a theory for a while. Octopus. If you look at them they look a bit alienish don't they? This UFO was floating above the sea so there's a connection there already. Um all the arms which you know would probably come in and if you if you're flying about something that that commander saw I imagine that's got a lot of joysticks a lot of buttons to press you need a lot of arms so there's that and I saw this video ages ago yeah show you this mimic octopus now the skill that it's got, it's like, let me just show you this. Right? So this diver here, there he is in the water.

Swimming along, mind his own business, doing a bit of filming, not much to see really. And he just sees this little bit of seaweed, thinks nothing of it. There's a little fish, little black and white fish, oh that's nice, there's not much else here, I'll just film that black and white fish there, moving about, and there, oh good, Jesus, what is that? An alien. That is an alien there. Let's just rewind it again. It goes from that, just looking like a blob of moss to that. That is amazing and off it shoots, look. Going back to planet Zonk. And think about it, it makes sense, don't it? If you were an alien, where would you land?

You wouldn't bother landing on land on earth. Because it's not going to be left empty for long, is it? You're going to find a little plot, you'll go, this is all right. Before you know it, bulldozers will turn up and build a new Starbucks or something. So they're better off going into the sea. And there's more of it, the Earth's 70% water. So if you're going to sort of base yourself anywhere, you're better off in the water. Especially at the minute, it seems like one of the safest places now, don't it? I don't think they get the virus under water. And I tell you another thing that makes me think that I'm right here. If you Google big, big octopus, what comes up is the Pacific octopus. Right? Where was this tick-tac UFO spotted? Over the Pacific? Makes you think, done it? Could be wrong. I could be right.

I can't imagine spiders from Mars being any more weirder than um spiders from Earth to be honest. It's just odd, aren't it? How do you make them weirder than spiders from earth to be honest. It's just odd aren't they? How do you make them weirder? I've been I've been going to YouTube a lot during the the lockdown and there's two things I go to if I'm not actually looking for anything, you know, in particular. There's big waves, all right? You know, you get like fishermen, all those blokes who are shifting freight out in the North Sea, and they do videos of the waves that are outside during bad weather and it's mental. It's like 50-foot waves and they're just, it just doesn't bother them at all. You can hear them chatting to each

other, arguing over a game of cards. Meanwhile outside these waves, like, you know, the end of that film, deep impact, and it just doesn't bother them. Yet, it sort of, it freaks me, it freaks me well out to know that waves are that big and are bashing about on the same planet that I'm sat on. So there's that, I like looking at, and spiders, and they sort of terrify me, but at the same time, I like looking at them. And I think, the thing that frea freaks that freaks that freaks that freakeks that freakeks that frea that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's theakes theakes th the thing that freaks me out is the legs because sometimes a spider can be quite big you know the body but I can I can pick

things up like beetles and stuff like that that have the same size body but it's them legs just big it's the big legs which is weird which is weird because you know one of the things that can make a woman sort of attractive is long legs and it doesn't don't freak you out and you maybe it would if a woman had eight legs I don't know maybe it wouldn't be I don't know but anyway yeah just google um the Goliath spider, will you? Look at the size of that. There's one on the internet. I think it's the first image that comes up. It's sat in a frisbee and its feet are hanging over the edge. It's got kneecaps.

Have a look at it. I mean, obviously don't. If you're one of them people who doesn't like spiders and you can't even look at them then don't but it is mental. Right the other day I did some rockbusters I thought I just give you the answers. The first one the initials were AG. The clue was how would you uh... what did I say? I said uh what's one of the ways you describe Kermit, all right? How does Kermit look? Is green, isn't he? He's all green. Kermit's all green. All green. Al Green is the answer. Like I say, it's a little bit cryptic you have to you have to think about it. So well done if you got that one. Second one the initial was M. The clue was I might phone you I might not. So what's going on there? What's another word

for calling someone? Bell you, all right? You might bell someone. I might bell you later. So if you might phone them, you might not. You may, you may bell them. Mabel. That's Mabel. That's Mabel. Who's out at the minute. It's Nina Cherry's kid, that, that, isn't it? That's when you know you're getting old, isn't it? When pop stars you listen to as a kid. I've had kids and they're now pop stars. Madness. So yeah, Mabel for the second one. And then the last one was D.L. The clue was the Australian asked the impressionist to do one of those people whose arms and legs fall off.

So what are they called? They're called lepers, aren't they? Lepers. If you're Australian, you'd probably say Lipa. So the impression is that they asked the person to do one of them people, so they're asking them to do a Lipa. Do a Leper. A few of you got that, no problems. So well done, something to do on it.

And I might do some more, especially if this lockdown carries on. The big topics, you're like happiness, death, and the first one is marriage and sex and women all of that, and you meet this guy in Nevada. His name's Vinny and he's a pick-up artist. He's not after long-term relationship. No. He's after, you know, that every night. But for me, that seems like a nightmare for me. If you hadn't met Suzanne at that moment, and you have been like this bloke and needing advice about how to meet women? I'd rather not bother. It's too much effort. And I think soon as you've got to put a lot

of effort in, I think it's, what's the point? I think you've got to be really at ease. I mean I've been with Suzanne for 20 years and some would say, you know, we've got a bit too laxidazical. You know, to to to to to to to their a to to to to their a to to theirci. to to theircinainainainainainaina, to their to to to their to their to to their, tooom. to put to put to put a to put a to put a to put a to put a to put a to put a to put a too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too, too too too too too too much much much much much much much much much much much much much much too, too, too, too, too, to put a to put a to put a to put a to put a their. their. their, their, their, their, toozy, toozy, too, too, too, too, too, too too, too too too, too, too, too, tooom. tooom. too, their the toilet door open or, you know, there's just nothing there. We know, we know each other that well. Do you go to the toilet in front of each other? Um, what I mean is, I don't say I'm going, do you want to come and watch? But what I mean is, I don't bother locking the door and sort of wondering about noises and stuff. Because we've been together for ages and we know that's goes on. Right. And I want to read out this bit. In the same, the next page, where you're still talking about this guy, you say, don't

get me wrong, the sex thing, it's all right. But I'm not a great believer in going at it all night. Get it done, go to sleep. It's not something you should drag out. an end and if the end seems far away I never watched lost for the same reason Soprano's box set I really like it but it's massive you can have too much so I'd say do it more often but quicker and whenever I got a bed it's normally because I'm knackered do you know what I mean yeah by the time I get up then we've got a cat now so that delays things anyway so even if it was like oh maybe tonight's the to night the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I the th I th I'm th is is is tho. thigh is thigh is thi thi thi. the. the. I'm th to th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is the is the the is to the tooooooo.e. the the te. the te. to. to. to. the the is the maybe tonight's the night, by the time you've got the cat out and locked up and, you know, we've moved into a house so there's more doors to check. By the time, and more floors, we're not in the flat, we've got stairs. So by the time you get upstairs, I'm out of breath anyway now. And it's kind just don't want, I don't want any kids.

You shouldn't just do it for the sake of it should you? Because that's, you know, that's not right is it? People always sort of say, oh, you'll regret having them when you're older, but what about the other way around? What about if you regret having them? We're not sort of all cut out to be parents, are we? It's just not for me. And the thing is, I don't think my genes are that good. You know what I mean? If I was a doctor or something or had a really good brain,

I think, well, those genes need to live on. Mine aren't that good. I mean, I'm in a right state at the moment. I've got a bad leg, got a bad foot, bad back, my eyes are bad, I've got to get glasses now. Bald. Do you know what I mean? It's not some, I'm not a perfect model really for life to go on. I'm not that important. So I wouldn't want to wish this on anyone else. I think

if I got an urge to have a kid maybe I'd adopt, that's all right. I think that's the way around it if I want a kid. There's loads of kids out there, isn't it? I need looking after I'd adopt one. That'd be that. And the good thing with that is, if he turns out to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a that, if that, if that, if that, if that, if that, if that, if that, if thi, if thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thrown, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thrue, thr--a, thr-upoo, thr-a, thr-a, toda, toda, today, today, thr-a' thr-a' thr-a' thr-a, thr-a, ths out to be a bit of a nutter, I can sort of say to people, oh he's not not mine. So in a way I'm distancing myself from him anyway, which is quite good. So that's what I do. And they'd also have a name already, only when you adopt, which is a big sort of pain in the ass thing you have to do in it. The amount of people who have kids and they're going, oh we're thinking about the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, the name, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. to, to, th. th. th. to, th. thi, to, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be, to be, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to be, to be, to be, to be to be, to be to be to be to be to be th. thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. the, thi, is thi, is thi, the amount of people that have kids and they go no we're thinking about the name it goes on for ages and then it's a big like big news when they reveal it and all that at least with adopting a kid he comes with it it's done because they're getting sillier and sillier aren't the kids names really struggling I don't know what it is I don't know if it's because maybe it is that thing on Skype and all that.

If you join Skype and you put your own name in it goes it's already taken. Maybe people are getting more and more ridiculous just so the kid can have a Skype name that isn't taken. So he's just coming up with odd fruit names and stuff like that. It sound like Japanese cars, some of these sort of names people come up with. So I think adoption is a way forward if I wanted a kid. But I don't, so I'm not worrying about it. So that was me there, just crying. It sort of works. I think people, I don't know, they're fascinated by people crying now, aren't they?

That will work, I think. You can't watch any program these days without seeing someone crying, can you? No matter what it is, whether it's a DIY program, just any program. If you see a promo for a film, a TV program, there's always a clip of someone crying. Because we like to see people crying, so that's why we've put it on the cover. We love a crier. I used to be a saying, isn't, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in it, in it, in it, in it, in it, in it, in it, in it, in it, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, their, the, their, their, their, their, the, the,. We love a crier. I used to be a saying, isn't it, that people like a trier. It's not. It's people like a crier now. That's what you've got to do to get attention. Scribe, cry your eyes out. People, it shows us, I suppose it shows a weakness and people like to see a weakness in people. Like Andy Murray, thi. Tennis player, everybody a eating him. Oh, he's miserable. As soon as he started crying because he lost,

oh, try me best. Everyone loved him. Country suddenly, they went from that, from not liking him to loving him. So that's what I'm trying to do there. I'm not really crying, but it might con a few people, It's, you know, he does get upset. I think this guy in LA who's done a lot of stuff to his body. That's a result of a lot of plastic surgery and liposuction and... 120 procedures. Yeah. About 100... What did he say?

It's about 150,000 dollars worth of work. I'm quite impressed with that you don't care. You're happy to stand there posing with your top off. And let's face you haven't got the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best the best body known to man. It's not a bad one. It works, but I understand that any women watching this wouldn't go, oh look at him. But that's the reality, isn't it? That's what most people look like. So I don't know what's happened where they think that's normal on the left. All they, all that, all them bits, they're all implants he's got. The bits and his pecks on the back of his arms he's had stuff put in there. And I was like, that can't be comfy.

No. Have you sort of laid on Brighton Beach? Yeah. It's Pebbly Beach, yeah. And it's not nice, isn't it really? It's bumpy that. And that's what I imagine it would be like for him to lie down at night, because he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not their, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's not nice, isn't it really? It's bumping that. And that's what I imagine it would be like for him to lie down at night, because he's not lying on his own bits. It's all lumps of stuff. But honestly, the lens people go to, he was telling me about, our people have the, the ball sack, the teck, the back and crack, and crack, and crack, and crack, and crack, and crack, and crack, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and thion, and the thi, and the thi, and the thi, and the the the the the the thight, the the thight, thin, the thigh, the th. that, that, and that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th.. And, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, they. And, they. And, they. the they. the the the the the thee, the the thee, the thee, the thee, thee. that's, the testicle, not just that anymore. Oh, what do they have now? Iron. Oh what? Oh really?

They have the things iron because of the creases. Oh God. They don't want creases in it. It's just like what, I mean, when I said to live, a smooth, yes. And again I was saying they're not, you know, lines on your face, it's about expression, it's about showing feeling. I don't know why you, why your testicle, um, what's the proper word for it? Um, scrotal sack, maybe? Is it? Something like that, yeah.

The scrotal sack? You scrote them. Yeah. It's got lines on it. Yeah. It's got lines on it. I mean, they're not their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thine. their their thi. thiatical. their their their their their their their their their their their their. What's. What's. What's their. What's their. What's their. What's their. What's their. What's their. What's their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their te. te. teck. textexteckeckeckeckeckeckle. texteckeckle. teckeckle. texta. teckeckeckeckeckeck. te. Yeah, what's that? I mean, they're not worry lines, are they? No. I don't know what they're there for. I suppose it's to give it a bit of movement. But at the end of the day, they've been like that for thousands, millions of years or whatever. Don't worry about it. So in this, in the file chapter on death, you go to a cra, this kind of local figure. Over there, death is like the biggest bit of your life. It's almost like you spend more money on your funeral than anything else in your life, more than your wedding, more than you're sending your kids to school and everything. It's that's what life's about,

having a brilliant send-off. And it's sort of, it's healthier to have that attitude, I think, and I don't know. I mean, I think I am pretty good knowing that, you know, I know that I'm going to die, and I'm pretty good at accepting it. And for me, that's what makes life good, really, knowing that it's going to end. When I was a kid, Pac-Man was a game. Kids watching this, I was, what's Pac-Man in it, but it's a game in it where it's a man eating like that and it makes its way around a maze eating. In fact,

here's a little, this is interesting. Oh yeah. Can you remember the noise of Pac-Man as it's going round? Definitely I can, no go on. Put your finger in your air and push it in and out. Oh yeah. That's the noise. That's what it's based. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's. there's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's thea. I's the. It. Oh yeah. That's the noise. That's what it's based on the thing. Is it? Yeah. That's pretty good. But anyway so Pac-Man is just being chased about by ghosts and you've got to run away from the ghost, don't you? You know, that's kind of his life and you get three lives. But when I was a kid I typed in a code, oh yeah. That meant I'd have everlasting lives. And even then I remember I played it for I don't know 45 minutes before I got bored of endless amount of lives but that was a point I think when it made me realize that living forever isn't all that. Because for Pac-Man I think his most happiest time was when

the game was over it wasn't being chased anymore. His whole life was spent being chased, a bit like, like the lied thi like their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin th thin thin thin thin thin, I thin, I thin, I th no th no their their I thin, I thin, I don't th no th no th no th no th no th no th no th no th no I th no I th no I th no I th no I th no I th no I th no I th no I th no I th no I th no I I th no I th no I th no I th no I th no th no th no th no thin, I thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I don't thin, I thin thin thin thin, I think his most happiest time was when the game was over. It wasn't being chased anymore. His whole life was spent being chased, a bit like lifestyle for us in a way, and it's always someone mithering you for something. You know, and he got in the corner and he had that tablet, and that made him happy for, you know, a few seconds, and again, that's like human life, a holiday or something, and that, and that, and that's, and that, and that's, and that's, and that's, and thi, and it, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, thi, thi, they. they. they. they. they, they. thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, a............... And, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, the something, that lasts a week and then it runs out and you're back to being chased about. And it was that fact that, you know, he was lasting forever. That's, I worked it out then.

So if you could have a cheat code for life, don't do it. All right. This is Yack. Hope you're enjoying this compilation. This is David Barry Starman, halfway point to the compilation. Enjoy the secondth of March or 11th of March or something. And then here we are, five and a half weeks on. I haven't really left the house since. But it was good.

He's in his 70s now, and yet he's still, he still sounds as good as he did back then. And as smart. He's always, he's always been one of them blokes who's been able to wear a suit, you know what I mean? And he don't look awkward in it. Oh, which is something I've never been able to do. I just can't. I don't know what it is. I don't know what happens to me, but do you know like when you balance something on a cat and it doesn't like it, it no, you know, you just put like a little bit of a shoelace on its head or something, it holds itself odd and it doesn't quite understand what's going on. I'm like that when I wear a suit. I just feel, I just hold myself oddly. But, uh, and it's funny actually because Suzanne's been talking to an old mate of hers who she went to, um, uni with. That.. That. That. That's. That's, that. That's, that. That's, that. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, because Suzanne's been talking to an old mate of hers who she went to

uni with, that's what's been going on really, who's joined this lockdown. People coming out of the woodwork and getting in touch with you and that. I suppose it's a good thing, but I suppose people have more time on their hands to catch up with people when normally they're busy and all that. But the last time Suzanne saw her I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. the. thi. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's theeeee. It's the. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. It's they're busy and all that. But the last time Suzanne Sawyer I think was at a wedding like 17 years ago. And a memory of me at that wedding is I was the only bloke wearing combat pants to a wedding. So I've never been able to wear a suit. I'd rather look odd and stand out wearing something comfortable than trying to fit in and not being comfortable. It's pointless. Which animal is the happiest of all animals. It changes every day, like because it's been

raining a lot, I've been seeing snails and, you know, are they happy? They sort of seem, just the way they, I don't know, they just mouch about slowly, not in a rush. I think that's the key to happiness, isn't it? Not rushing about. Snails don't rush about. And they're really free. I suppose that's the thing that also brings happiness in it, that sense of freedom. The way they can just go up a wall, and if they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their they their their their their their their their their their their their their they're just they're just they're just they're just just just just just just just their their they'll just they'll just they just they're just they're just just they're just just just just just just just they're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their the they can just go up a wall and if they get tired,

they can just stop, they've got their house on the back, they can just sort of camp there for a bit. And I think that's, there's something in that. They don't need loads of people around them. I've always said like, with slugs, they're normallytheir own. Whereas a snail, if you find a snail is normally another one close by, but they're never really close. And I think that's good. That's how I like to treat my family in a way. It's like, it's nice to know they're there, but don't keep coming. Don't keep visiting. You know, I can see you there if I need you, but you're not asking me. And that's what snails are like like like like like like there like there like there like, their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their they's their. thi. they's they's they's they's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. And, they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're their. their. It's their. It's their. It's thi. It's theeeeats. It's thean. And, thean. And, they're theean. And, theateateat. And, thi. And, thi. And not asling me. And that's what snails are like. You look out a wall when it's been raining. There's always a snail going up at,

and you don't have to look for there's another one. And it's like it's just there. If it needs a bit of help with something, be there. So I'd say snails, I'll have a different answer. Do you know what he said to me the other day? This is unbelievable. This is one of the most stupid, incredible things I've ever heard. He was talking and he suddenly stopped and he was thinking about and he went,

oh I don't know what, he went, you'd never see a black ghost. Extraordinary. True though, isn't it? I've never seen a ghost full stop. There are no ghosts, there aren't ghosts. I mean when you just see them in like magazines and that. Playa Mead! This is a bit of a bigger issue. We're always making more and more stuff, right? Um, in the world, you know, big buildings, big planes, and big boats and that.

Will we ever get to a point where all this is too heavy for the world to handle? Right, what error has he made there, Steve? What physical, scientific error as he made there with that question? I can't begin to explain it. Carl, we're not getting the rocks from other planets. It's already here. It's like having a big pile of books in a room and then moving over to the other side of the room and build a thing going, oh can the room take it? I'm building a lot of things out of these books. What about plastic? Where does that come from? Other chemicals that existed on the planet? Yeah. Do you see the point? Do you see the point? Hang on a minute though. What about a little tree? You plan that's an acorn.

It grows, Rick. That's bigger, that's more stuff. Don't listen to him, Carl, is patronizing you. What about acorn's and that, though? Right, they take, they grow from minerals and proteins, they grow from minerals and proteins, already in our atmosphere. What about a cat, Carl? Right, you get it, it's a very tiny kitten, but it grows up and it's bigger. Carl, she's doing it on purpose. Elephants, they're very small to begin with, but they get bigger and bigger and bigger until they get heavier and heavier.

Mind you, dinosaurs have gone. You know, but you... A chimpanzee with a typwriter with an infinite amount of typiter, with an infinite amount of toipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipip, but to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but to to to to be, but to be, but to be, but to be, but to be, but to be, they, they, they, they to be they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to be, they're to be, they're to be to be, but, but, or it's an infinite amount of chimps with type writers and one of them will type it first time. But already that's sort of, that's not right. that's not right. You either need to have one monkey. What do you mean? What, you mean the employment laws? What do you mean it's not right? Please. If it's one monkey with a typewriter that's got loads of ink in it and that, right? At least it knows where it's done in the past. Don't, it's

not, keep going! If you've got a load of monkeys, it's like, it's like if you have too many, what's that saying about, too many chefs? Too many chimp spoil. Right? Well, it's the same things like well I didn't tell you to put salt in it I was going to put salt in it and it messes it up whereas if it's just one they know what's gone on so what I'm saying I'm just leaving I can't be bothered I want to hear I want to do this blows my mind it doesn't know what this does to me it's a mathematical problem I want to hear the rest well it's just I just don't think it will happen what what the the the you you you the you the you what the the that that that the that that that that that that the that that the that that that the that that that the that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I they will will will will will will will will will will will will the the the the the the the the thi that's that's that's that that thi thi they I He worked it out for you, by definition. But not... not Shakespeare. Oh! Shut up! You idiot! Rick, do you know what he said to me? I said to him, uh... I just explained it to him. I said, you've got an infinite number of runcays, infinite number of type writers. They will type the complete words for Shakespeare.

He said, have they read Shakespeare? You're an idiot! I said, no, I'm not having this going on. I'm not having this going on. Carl is from an academic study, what the world would be like in about 75 years from now. And a big prediction they're sort of sure of, is that androgyny will rule. There'd be so little difference between men and women,

apart from the biology, economically, socially. It won't matter who the biggest bread winner is, that's already being phased out. If you're in a traditional heterosexual male, female couple, it'll be who stays home, who earns the most or whatever. It won't be governed by gender. And that's getting less and less anyway as it is now. But soon you won't even need a female or a man in your life. You'll just need the egg or sperm. And you'll be able to have any coupling you want or not. Thoughts, Carl? That isn't what I've heard. What were you the word? I heard that. So you got've got you read an academic study Rick, but let's find out what Carl's been reading.

I heard we're, you know, we're all going to go ugly. Different point though, isn't that? That's a different point. Not listening to a word Ricky said. No, it's just, it's just, if we all sort of the population. He gets an extra syllable in the word ugly. Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. So that just sorts the population out because people aren't sort of having it away. The front center. Well no, well then that doesn't sort of, what do you mean? Sorry, Rick, I don't understand what the hell he said there. Is there so many... Are you saying? Are you saying because everyone's ugly? Everyone want to have it to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the population. the population. the population. the population. the population. the population. the population. their. the population. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. their. tolol. their. their. their. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, their. So. So. So, their. So, the ugly person. Yeah. Okay I stood, you seem to understand what he's talking about Rick, I'm still confused. What he thinks is that if we all,

if we're ugly, then we still have this strange paradigm of beauty that won't exist so we won't fancy anyone as much. No, no, they'll still sort of fancy, because at the end of the day we're animals aren't we? Yeah, so we'll still have it away but not as much as they like to do now because it's all based on looks. Sorry so but what's this got to do what it is like? Describe a typical town or or country says it's exactly right imagine London you've still got the girking you've still got the big wheel right it's just everyone's ugly right and they're and they're doing all the same jobs are they they just still yeah the world's got to they they they they the they the they the they the they they the they the the world yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the w w w w w w w w I they they the w I the they the the the the the they the they they they they they they they they the w all the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w all the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the try try try try try try try try try they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the the they look like what's ugly? Just imagine like, haven't you ever seen anyone when you've just gone, look at that? Yeah. Right, well like that. Yeah, but hold on. It's ugly by today's standards, is it? So I throw forward to 75 years, you'll

go, oh, everyone's what we call ugly. But what's happened to society? What do they they think of everyone? They won't suddenly th. they're th. they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho's tho's tho's tho's thi. tho's tho's thoes thoes thoes thoes. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tho's tho's got tho's got to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. I's thu society what do they think of everyone they won't suddenly go in our and annoying we've got we've got uglier because it's not like a strict got better looking haven't we if I look back now yeah at a school photo yeah you look at my class and you go what was going on then wouldn't you can't tell the difference between some of the girls and the bloces no but that's not true because it is honestly you're not honestly you look that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thee. theee. they're they're not. they're not. they're not. they're see that. Yeah, when I see an old episode of bullseye, I think Jesus, the men look like rakes with no teeth and a moustache and they're, and they're bald with their hair down like a pedophile and he goes, now old are you? And I thought 52, 50, he goes, I'm 22. Yeah, but that's more because of the sort of people that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the thi. that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with that's with th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the the the to go on bullseye. I mean, you know, poor Newman was never going to pop on bullseye. You know, because he was actually a plumber from, you know, and then think of the people that he grew up with where he, I mean, some of them live in holes

now. So, you know, I don't think you're, the class of Pilky, 1982 doesn't really count. When he said we've got better looking I thought he was going to talk about cavemen. Not his school photo. I mean what happened there? There's been no evolution in that time. What are you talking about Carl? We've got better looking now, aren't we? I wonder if he's confused it with the paradigms of beauty of change, haven't they? So in the 50s, Marilyn Monroe was considered, you know a very desirable, whereas that body shape, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is the, their, their their their, their, their their their their, their, their, their, their their, their, their their, their, their their, their, their, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their, their their their, their their their their their their their their their their the, the is theateateateat, theateateateatease thooooomoomoomorrow, the. There's theateate, their, their their, their, Marilyn Monroe was considered, you know, a very desirable, whereas that body shape on women, more recently has become less, you know, lots of skinny women are seen as a paradigm of beauty. But, so that has maybe changed. But we will change, probably nine seventy five years. I mentioned before about your little finger. There'll come a time when that will go. I've said, I've watched it. I've kept an eye on what my little thing is doing. Sometimes it never the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I've th. I've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's has that's has become, that's has that's has become, that's has that's has that's has has has has, that's has has has, that's has has has, that's has has, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, their, their, their, their, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has, has their, has, has their, has their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, has, has, said I've watched it, I've kept an eye on what my little thing was doing. Sometimes it does nothing. It never helps out. All the others are grabbing older stuff. That one just sort of sits there watching. So you could get rid of that and I think that that will go in evolution.

Think of the books he could have read when he was doing that when he was monitoring his little finger. I've been watching my little fie But again, it's what you mean. 75 years is nothing. The only thing that changes in 75 years is trend, fashion, economics. The gene pool doesn't change unless there's been some sort of really weird mutation due to an external force. That I don't know. For the things of science fiction where we all accidentally drank plutonium, we've got three eyes and one leg.

It doesn't happen that fast. I've told you before, if you shaved a caveman, he's basically us. He's basically us. Well, it's basically Carl. Yeah. But, you know, the little finger will be, let me tell you, millions of years. I think what's more interesting about the future, Carl, is the fact that technology integrated with humans will be fascinating. So for instance, they're talking about the fact that in the future we may even be able to have chips in our head that allow us to access the internet or an equivalent of it directly,

mentally. Not so imagine that. Not French fries. But hang on though, at what point are we us then? They are. This is good. Go on, go on. Go on.

No, because if I can go on the internet at any time, then that's going to know more than me. What does that mean? Okay. When I don't know an answer to something now, which is a lot of stuff. Really? Go on. Watch University Challenge and the stuff them kids on that, no. I just think what where have they stored that? Where's that gone in there, Ed? I'll have they left that somewhere and it's just sat there waiting to be used. For me, if something doesn't get used within a time period, that's it. But again, again, again, okay, that's application and training and all all all all. I I I I I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. that's, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. they's, where, where, where, where's, where's, they're, where's, they're, they're, they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. the. the. training and all that. I don't think I think that basically you've

got about the same hardware. I haven't. Honestly God, I haven't. I know I haven't. Your brain capacity is huge. It's not the same as theirs. It's not the same. Well you might not be what's considered as academically intelligent as them, but again, an awful lot of it is, you know, nurture more than nature. Your brain's good. Your brain is up up up up up up up up up up up up. their their tha is up. thauiiiiiiiia. thiia. th. th. thia. th. th. thia. thi. thi. thia. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. that's, I. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's thi. thi. that's that's that's thi. tha. that's, tha.a.a.a. that's, that's that's that's thi. thi. I's than nature. Your brain's good. Your brain is up there. Don't worry about that. Well it isn't, but listening. So what I'm saying is if I want to know the answer to something, I go on the internet. Yeah, right. Now if I've got a chip in my head we Google on it, yeah, I'm never going to use my head. I'll just be forever on Google. I'm never going to use my head! Well I'm not because what's the point? Because what I'm going to get it wrong? The chances are I'll get it wrong.

So divert that. It's like saying... No, no, you can't bypass the brain straight to Google. And so we're having a chat socially. It's not like they're going. All right, Carl. the. they. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the th. I. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the t I think you'll find that they're... No, only... Do you want to see naked ladies? Come on this way. No, only for questions though that I don't know, but what I'm saying is, because I don't know a lot of the answers, I'll just say forget it, leave it connected to Google. So then, I'm not me anymore. Well, what are you doing? Where's you, I'm looking at Google? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that, that, that, that, that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? that? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th that? I th th tho. that? I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that? I th th So it is you? No, but what Steve just said is we'll have a chip in our head.

Right. That can access the internet. You know, why bother using your own knowledge? But you're, you, Carl, are the go between, between the internet and whatever your mouth says. But you can't beat the internet? Yes, because he knows everything. You're accessing the information like it was part of your brain capacity. But you're still processing and using that information like it was part of your brain capacity, but you're still processing and using that information. But hold on, where does Google get the information from in the first place?

Someone on one of them bright people on University Challenge has put it on. Yeah, a human being. So but I'm going to get lazier. I don't watch University Challenge and go, I want to be like them, I'm going to start reading books. I've accepted, I'm never never their. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going to. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I. I'm going. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going to. I'm going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the to be like them. I can't play along. All I tend to do is, I say to Suzanne right, so every question now I'm going to have egg as the answer. And I'm open that one day. What an amazing game. What an amazing. It's been like you for seeing it. What a lucky lady lady? Well, she just sees it. She just plays along and then I'm saying oh it might be this one or whatever. I remember I love that because I remember once it was about five years ago

Carl's who's down around near Christmas and me and Jane were there. We're playing different parlor games like charades and that and then one game you have to do that thing where you have to beat and you have to do animals and you have to go first one is a the the the the the the the the the the the to be the the the the the the the the to be the the to be the the the the the the to be to be to be the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their one one one one one one one one one one one one their their they one you have to go first one is A then B so you say Arvatt next one goes beaver next one goes cat it came to car he panicked and he went egg he was on egg so you're also there watching university challenge on a good night it's you know well known for his jewel-encrusted wall egg. Hearty Dumpty is commonly pictured as a thing.

That's what I'm saying, if you keep saying the same thing eventually, it's like a broken watch. Carpetent his head looks like hey. Yeah, I've just got more chance to get it right. Sure. But also he told he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he tho tho tho tho. He's tho. He's the is thu. He's th is th is th is th is th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He is th. He is th. He is th is th is th is th is th. He is th. He is is th. He is is th. He is is th. He's is is th. He's is th. He's is th. He's is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is to told is told is told is told is told told is a told is also told is tooooooooooooooooooooooo. He's is toe. He's is to get any right. Sure. But also he told me when he plays University Challenge, he says he's given up ever trying to get an answer, so now he tries to guess who's gonna answer the question. Another great game. Suzanne's roped it on. How would you do with that? That's not normally alright on that? I'm normally alright. There's got to be something else. There's, there's another.. There's a another. There's a another. There's another. There's another. There's another. There's another. There's another. There's another. It's another. It's another. It's another. It's another. It's another. It's another. It's another. It's another. It's another. It's another. It's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a I'm normally alright on that. There's got to be something else. There's another, there's another, there's another evolution thing though.

When you watch brainy people on that or wearing glasses, yeah. What does that tell you? We are reading too much. We're wearing the eyes out. And that, you can't argue with that. Because the evidence the evidence the evidence the evidence the evidence the evidence the evidence is the evidence is the evidence the evidence is the evidence the evidence is the evidence the evidence the eyes out. And that, you can't argue with that, because the evidence is there. Most people on University Challenge, which is a quiz show if people don't have that in the country, it's the brainiest quiz all the time and it.

To be honest, I don't know why they don't go on, who wants to be a millionaire or something, because they'll get a better prize than a, what do they'll be stitched up by a question of who's in Ollie Oaks. It will be the... Yeah. But that's the snobbery as well. It'll be what characters Andy Lincoln play in this life and they won't get it and you'll go egg and you'll be correct. But that's the thing in it, this snobbery on like braininess. The way that... If you're a specialist in, I don't know what something well no don't help him go on finish just you've started a conversation you're halfway through a sentence you've got a point you can't bear like no okay say if you're a specialist in go on Latin tattoos

to the Latin tattoos I didn't know you wanted something so specific. So that's a tattoo you have on your arm with Coggito or Gerson underneath or is it a tattoo... But it's the only reason Latin is still alive, isn't it? Right, right. Tattooists. So you go on, you go on mastermind, and people will go, oh, he's clever,'t he? You got 40 correct in 60 seconds. Now if you go on and say any questions about Coronation Street between 19, 1992,

people go, oh it's a bit of a knob. Because there's a snobbery to education. Yes, there is. But a question is still a question, isn't it? Well, to a certain degree, although yeah, that's fine, but there's no application to knowing who played Ena Sharples, whereas presumably there is something useful in... Well, not perhaps Latin tattoos, because you know, we're not not necessarily what that is. But if you're a knowledge, you have knowledge of, you know, astrophysics, obviously that's

going to be, as Ricky says, it's going to take more application to become an expert on that than watching Coronation Street twice a week. But it's still information that you've had to learn. You've not learned. You've just sat down on front of the tally and it's just piped into your brain, very directly and very easily and enjoyably. the one day you'll have in your brain. Are they not doing something more interesting and valuable for society than the Coronation Street fellow? Um, no, because Coronation Street is, that fellow he knows a lot about it. At least he's enjoying his time watching that.

Oh, what I'm saying. It's always enjoying it. But, you know, a brain in a jar, if it doesn't know it's a brain in a jar. Right? So what are you asking me? But we were talking... Didn't see a difficult point for what we were saying. What I mean is... Okay one more go. What do you mean? The chip in the brain isn't part of filling your head with stuff the journey of filling it with that stuff. What do you mean? Whereas if I just... of filling your head with stuff, the journey of filling it with that stuff. What do you mean? Whereas if I just, if I'm, say if you had a baby, the baby pops out, it cries a bit, they go right, we've got, what do you want your baby to be interested in?

And you say, I want it to be a plumber. You go right, when it's two, we're going to stick a plumber chip in its head. Right. Yeah. It's not right, is it? No. No. I don't know why he chose plumber either. Well, we're still only plumbing, yeah. I know we do, but... It's odd that they would have chosen, but they've got such... Yeah, such kind of ambitions want the sort of the thing to go through the business. They are the plumbing business.

They want the baby to carry on the business. They want to be able to plan. They want to be able to plan. It goes on now where parents force the kids into riding horses and you go, they're going to be forced to ride in horses and you'd their their their their...... don't stand them. Yeah. And people would go, that's wrong. The kid should have the freedom to decide if one wants to get an horse or not. That's right, yeah. Well, what about this chip in the head?

But you've made this up? But you've made this up. They're not putting chips in baby's. he's saying it's the next step in convenience with technology and an interface between a human and a research tool or fun, you know, computers went from being the size of a room to a thing you can wear on your watch. So the next step maybe, oh you won't forget your palm top, you won't forget your iPod, you won't forget your laptop, it's in there. It's an interface.

I know it makes us lazy. But you straight away thought that now, that it went to some sort of weird laboratory where it's all white and there's just a doctor and everyone's in a silver suit, right? And they go, we're removing your, you're the self. We're removing the self from putting in chip. You are now computer boy. Watch Coronation Street. Well you won't in a a the the the the the th in a thenation th in a thenation thenation thenation thenation thenation then. and putting in chip you are now computer boy yeah it's not watching Coronation Street well you won't in a few seconds but I hate Coronation Street

me Carl it's not question of it's not that it's not the Google is now Carl it looks like it looks like car but it's just spanning you know little pop-ups about offers you can buy all it cheap holidays here and there he's not the man I married right look at it like this Jesus look I see it all the whole chief holidays here and there he's not the man I'm married right look at it like this Jesus look I see it all the time now go on you go where you going to someone and they go I'm going to Dorset right oh I what road are you taking don't know just pop on the sat nav now now that's a start in it okay let's out with me, okay?

I'm going away for the weekend, Carl. Yeah. Where you going? Dorset. Oh yeah? Are you getting there? Uh, car. Oh, right.

Yeah, well, which way you're going? Um, don't know? Why do you want to know? Just making a friendly chat? Just, you know, I'm thua, thua, thua, thua, thi, thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? tha? tha? tha? W. thi? W. th. tho? W. th. that, that, th. that, th. that, th. Where, th. Where, th. Where, th. Where, where? Where, where? Where, where? Where, where? Where, where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why, tha? Why? Why, tha? Why? Just you know, I'm interested in geography. Which way you're going? Well, I don't know, really. I've got a sat-nav in my car and I'm getting there. What do you mean? A-a-z, thin.

Well, I don't, I'm not a pigeon. I don't. I don't. I'm going to a computer-a-s. looking at an A-Z and... It's been amazing, not really, no. No, no. Why is it any different that I've got it computer eyes so I can go along? That's a bit dangerous isn't it? It's a bit, don't go to A-Z when you're driving along. Clay, who are you talking to? Because we're talking, because we need to hit the road. What is this a fucking Sorry, who is this to have? Because we really got a fucking dickhead. I think he's an 8-7 by the dog. I mean, I was just telling him we're using the sat-nav. Yes, it's the quickest most efficient way to do it. Yeah, it's the creepies most efficient way of doing it. No, but look, but look, but would Columbus found out. If he found out. to the he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he is he is he is he is he is he is th. th. th. he is th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is is th is is th is is is th is is is th. We's th. We's just. We is is is. We is is. We is. We is. We is. We is. We is. We is. We is. th. th. We. th. th. th. th. We. th. th. th. He is. He is. He is just. He is just. He. He is just. He is just. He is. He is just. He is. He is. He is just. He is just. He is just. He was. He was. He was just. He was just. He was just. He was. He was just. He was just. He was. He was he got lost. Now if everybody just goes...

Hold on, how would he an undiscovered country be on a satnav? No, go on. But I just mean... What's the difference between the satnav and the map in that regard? Because I've found some lovely little cafes on roads I've never been on. I'm thrown from finding a continent to a little cafe. I am off to discover the unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown unknown the unknown unknown the unknown unknown the unknown unknown unknown the unknown unknown the unknown the unknown the unknown the unknown thuuuuuuuuu thu thu thu thu they they thu thu thu thu they thu they they they they tho thu they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the the they thu they thu they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're the the the the the the an theananananananan theananananananananananan the an theananananananananananananananananananananananananananan finding a continent to a little cafe. I love that! I am off to discover the unknown world. Where are you going? Well, I don't know yet, it's the unknown world.

What are you taking? Just a boat, oh, lazy swim, you're coming. I love the fact that he's so Ludite now, he's annoyed at the satnav. I mean, you'd have probably given Columbus a hard time, oh got a compass, don't you know what a North is you twat? I just think there's something in being lost. I never feel lost. I just think, oh I've had a diversion. I never feel that.

Because you find new things, I'm forever going down. What's what, Susan's asking the French peasant where their, just think, you know Columbus. What was the interesting thing you found when when lost? Like I say they normally I found a shop that was like a fancy dress shop. Amazing. Do you need fancy dress? Do you need fancy dress? Do you need a fancy dress? Dress? Do you need a fancy dress? You never go. Why do you need a fancy dress shop? That sounds like the one thing you would hate is fancy dress. Yeah, but I like looking at the, they have like like, they they they they they they they they they they they they they the fancy, the fancy, they th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that that was like, that that was like, that that that that that was like, that that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like, that was like a space helmet in there. Right so you found a fancy dress shop. Where are you supposed to be going that you got you had time to get sidetracked and going a... I think I was going to a meeting. Amazing, that's the last time. That's the last time. Yeah, you don't want to get lost to me.

I always give myself loads of time because pass it or next time someone says you know where the fancy dress shop is you can go yeah I do you have no idea because I was lost I don't know no no I'm not gonna tell you lazy cunt haven't you got a nice head oh that's harsh yeah find it yourself you might find to that you might get lost good you might to the to the the the the the the the the the the the they I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the th you the th you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go I'm to go I'm to go I'm to go I'm to go I'm to go I'm to go I'm to go I'm to go I to go I to go I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to to to they I I they I they I they I they they they they they try try try try try try try to to try to to to to try to to try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the chip thing in the head. I think you've got to learn along the way. We can't get lazy, we can't have chips in the head, knowing how to plum. That's what it's all about, isn't it? And making mistakes. If you make a mistake, I've done some wiring, got a little shock. What happened again? It will. It's a little bit. I've seen that experiment with you before. It, uh, there we go. Carl is President. It's still confused, aren't you, Carl?

Just a little bit, just a little bit, sort of amazed. Yeah. By the body. Yeah, you're an awe of it, aren't you? Just the way... I'm amazed how two people can buy a baby on the internet for 3, 000 and not realise it's a chimp till it goes to school. No no, but seriously, what we're talking about there during Elbow and Fallen Angel, we're talking about that I think, if you're locked up, well not locked up in a room, you've got a normal life except there's no women in it, right?

But how would that happen? What would this point of refugee? How do you bring up with a person? Go on. How can infinite monkeys and a typewriter? Right, again, I've told it before, right? That is not, you don't actually have to test that model. It's basically a model that explains the nature of infinity. Okay. I've told you before. it works because of the definition of infinity. There's no, there's nowhere in the world you'll ever be able to get an infinite amount of monkeys and tight wires to come. But anyway, all I'm saying is, I think if you don't know about women, would you crave for a woman, even though you don't know the world? When you hit sort of puberty, your are cooking and you start getting urges. But for what? If you don't know about it? You don't have to know

about it. You don't, when, if you grew up and you started feeling a hunger, you wouldn't go wonder what that is. You'd go, get me a sandwich, I'm starving. It's different. It's different. But we're not saying it's all hardwired or people are, you can't, to, if, if, if, if, if, if, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you don't, you, you don't, you, you, you don't, you don't, you, you don't, you, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, if, if, if, if, if, if, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you, if you, if you, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, you don't, you don't, you don't, though, it's different. But we're not saying it's all hardwired or people can't change their natural state. We do it all the time, we fight nature all the time with conditioning. What is weird, isn't it? Yeah, well that's that one, I tick that, it's weird, isn't it? No, the body is. Did you read that thing the other week about... No, no, no, no, we don't need that. Uh, lawyer who got in office realized he was actually an orangutan and they just shaved him and put a sews on him from Hugo Boss.

And the funny thing is, he won the case and the judge said, well, don't send him back to jungle, let himself on his own, bodget, Woddjit, Wibble and Podge. You'd make the best judge in the world. No, there's a fellow. Here's something I've learnt, remember? Go on. Go on. What is it? The flea can jump over the London eye? No! It can jump the equivalent of if it was a six-foot man. It can jump that six-foot He's like, a flea cannot jump over the London eye. Yes, it can. tell. they. they. they. their. their. their. their. their. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can. It can the the the the the the the the the the the th- the the th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th. It is th. It is th. It can th. It can th. It can th. It can th. It can tha. It can tha. It can tho. It can tha. It can tha. It can tooooooooooooooooooooooooooa-sa-sa-sa'-sa'-sa'-sa-na-tapea-tod's like a flea cannot jump over the London eye yes it can yeah it can and so tell your kids that car oh oh flea can jump over the London eye and an ant can lift three

volvulvos we all changed car used to have air yeah but yeah but you by your own mission I had it for long did you you you strike a ball it wasn't didn't want to hang around my ear my ear it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it was it was it was it was it the the air the air the air the air the air their their their their their their their their their their their they they can can can can can can can can can can can't to their they can to can they can't they can't can't can't can't can't can't can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their th their th their their their their their toy. their their their their their their their their their their th th th Yeah, but hethat that... Limp-off-limsy, I reckon? Well, no, that Limsy is a Chinaman. That gave his name to the limp hair of the Chinese place. So you think your hair bailed on you because it was not getting treated well enough? I think that's, I think that's true.

I think that's how it works works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's that's that's how it works, that's how it works, that's how it works, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's how it works. But yeah, I know what you mean. You sort of, I sort of think about if I've changed that, but I don't think I have that much. You still have the same sort of thoughts. I like olives now, which I didn't like probably three years ago. Right. But you can, if you eat four in a row, you get a taste room and and I thought, go on then I have five. And Ray, I thought yeah they're all right these. So that's different, but other than that, I mean, this... So what were your dreams and ambitions when you were young?

You know how many? Right. It was kind of... Five years old? What do you want to be? What's the and fears of all these years I met in thee tonight? I wasn't worrying about work till about, it's about 13, 14. I was thinking right, you know, people who were knew had left school, they weren't getting work. I was thinking, oh I don't want to be like that. That's when I did boxing, you know, that car could have gone down that route. Got into boxing, didn't they?

How many fights do you have? I don't know about three or four. How only did it, just when does brain damage kick in? I guess it can, I guess it can, I mean, it must be, that must be part of it. Were you, were you really, did you really get a bad beating on one of those fights?. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, that, that, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, got into, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, must be part of it. Were you really did you really get a bad beating on one of those fights? Yeah Leroy gave a really good clacker in. Yeah the thing is your jab was a bit of limsy but Leroy's was clackering. Then there was the dancing. I don't remember this way what break dancing?

Well I did that I did a bit of body popping Yeah. Did you ever really think that you might do this in the future? You never know, do you? But did you, at the times you remember thinking, oh I wouldn't mind doing this professionally? I must have, must have thought that for me to go, well let's try and join Twiggy's dance club and all that. My mom's like, don't tha sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. But, I th. But, I th. But, th. But, thi, thi, thi, thi, tha, tha, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha, tha, tha was saying I'll get you the proper shoes and that I mean mom's like don't don't bother getting in them yet let's see if he sticks I for like four months because they were about thirty quid for the shoes carry on in my furry slippers then with the dance and it was the same thing I said oh I need some leg warmers and that and uh these tights are just as good come on your hands tights tights t, um, like his, he cut like the sleeves off his shirt.

Amazing. And that were your leg warmers? Amazing. But it's funny when you're a kid, it doesn't bother you. But surely cut him off a jumper. No, I don't know why. I know it looked down after their cuffs on leg. That's amazing.

That's amazing. But the th. But th. But their th. That's th. That's! But when you're a kid, you know all the mugs? It must have looked Lancer and Bowen doing a handstand. But then, you know, that didn't last long and then my dad, you know, I was getting older now and he's like... Dad needed his shirt back for a wedding. Yeah, as long as he didn't take his jacket off, it was fine. Yeah, look at dad. I'm losing me out, I need a hat. I don't need a bloody hat. Pop my pants, aren't there?

But then you've got to make sure you try and get a job and school was sort of saying. So 15 now. But hang on, why do you stop going? Well, it was shut down. It had a load of the toilet rolls in there. I've been closed closed closed closed closed closed closed closed closed closed closed closed th been th been th been th been th been th been th been th been th been th been th been th been th been to have been to have been to have been to have been to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tolden, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their th. th. th. thoen, thoen, thoen, thoen, thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. to to to to to to toe. to to to thea. t never really had a, I'd like a dream, I've just bumbleed along. Because like I've said, it's that thing of sort of, um, limsy. It's like, call my fucking blah. There's no point sort of wishing for too much because if you don't get it, you'll be fed

up. So it's better just to sort of go, well, let's see what's around the corner. This is what I've said to to to to go to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, to go, the, to go, the, the, to go, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that, that's, that, that, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, SAT nav system. It's the same thing. Yeah, sure, I have the sat nav. Type in where you want to go and it'll take you straight there. But what I say is, use the back streets. Have a look, turn off. Don't go straight, Ed, the little dead ends. Have a look. Well, there's nothing there? It's dead end. No but have a look. Well there's nothing there, it's dead end.

What's the road doing there then? What's the dead end? What's the dead end? There's a dead end? There's a dead end? There's a dead end. There's a their end. a look down the dead end. It's dead end. It's dead end. It's nothing mate. Rubbish? Doesn't not go anything. Nothing at all. Yeah nothing. Yeah I'll put you out. Right so I'll go well I'll just have a look for myself because I don't believe you. Okay well go look at this I found. What look at this I've found. Look look look look look what look what this I I I this I this I this I this I this I this I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What that I've that I've that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is. It is. It is th is th is th is th is th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th saying is it could be a thing. He has still got the brain of a 10 year old. Has he still got the brain of a 10 year old? I'm just, set your stall out. Right. So where's the store, where are you sitting? Where are you sitting store? Not in the dead end. There's no throfait. Yeah, you want to be the brain of the to' tho' the the the thin sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to their. to be. to be. to be. to be. their to be. to to their. their to their-upin' to to their-upin' their-upin' their their-upin' their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their the. the. the. thea. te. toda' te. toda' te. toda' toda' today. to the. their their their the. this is what I'm saying to you. What are you selling? I'm selling a mixture of stuff. What? Like what? All sorts? What have you bought it with a bag of money you found in the dead end? Legwarmers? What have you got a fucking look smart, ain't you can't? So you're selling, you're selling in? You set your stall out. Yeah, right.

Now, isn't it dangerous to sell all the same product in that shop? Right. I don't want to talk about. Where do you know what you're going? It's a metaphor. Yeah. What you're selling first? Bang?

Two thrown. to you. Th. . You, What, what. You, but I don't know what you wanted to do, you haven't told me. Right. I'm saying... Do I want to do what I want to be?

A five years old, I wanted to own the sweets up until my mom said, you know you've got to buy the sweets first. From 10, I wanted to be a pop star. Twenty-five, I thought I better get a job. Well, the thirty I did. Me saying turn off the main road and do a right is saying, just have a look around in the same way that if you go into a shop, you're thinking I'm getting a quarter of bomboms. Right, a bombbs. Bumb bombs? Well by the time you get to the

counter, you're clackered. And you get some licorice sorts instead because you thought, actually, I forgot about them life if you know... If what, if what? If what? If what? If what? If what if it does happen? I'd like to take issue with this, because there's a lot of young people who listen to our podcasts and if they listen to you this tripe that if you try for something in life it won't happen? Yeah, it's a bloody disgrace. But what if it does happen? I'd like to to the th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. There's th. th. There's th. th. There's th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. There's the. There's there there there there's there's th. thi. If thi. If the. If tho. If tho. If tho. If to to to to to to to tho. If tho. If tho. If tho. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If the. If the. If the. If the. If the. If you the. If you're thea. If you're thea. W. W. W. thea. W. W. thea. If thea. If thea. If thea. If th won't happen so don't bother I think it's a bloody disgrace. Imagine if Leona Lewis had thought that when she went on the bloody X-Factor? She wouldn't have got punished by that bloke in that... Well, that doesn't make sense. But you know what I mean? Maybe she would not be living her. Yeah, but she'd notthe main ambition which was to sing, that's why she went on the show. She didn't go there because she thought I might want to work down a branch of water stones.

She went in there and said, quarter bum bumps, she went on and this is X Factor, she went, oh go on the X Factor, what I was saying? What about the girl who looked like a fat baby? She went on there with a dream. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she went, she went, she went, she's, she said, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she said, she's, she's, she's, she's. She's, she's, she's, she's. She's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's. She's, she's, she's, she's. She's, she's. She's. She's. She's, she's. the, she's. the, she's a. the th. th. th. thin, she's a. th. th. thin, she's a. th. th. thin, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she hopeless idiot, I'm saying if you've got a little bit of talent and you pursue it, it might take you somewhere. If you want to be a vet or a doctor or pop star, you might have a chance. You may have a stab for it, then said, oh, it's all right, I'll just sit around in the under pants. Yeah, they're doing a new. the the the the the the the the tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. They thr. They thr. They they they thr. They're thr. the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. I. I. I. I's te. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. te. ta. te. te. te. idea. I think they should do that. Because how many singers do we need in the world? You see that's the thing? We're talking about the future. I think we're not going to talk anymore. I think we're all, it's going to be like living in an opera. The way things are going on now, everyone wants to sing. Whereas if you did a TV program to try and get a doctor, you know, it's all about you know getting in young kids, do live surgery, you know, there's big cues anyway, people are queuing up

to have operations done. So you say, look, Ilda, you have got a problem with your left bunion. You can either wait for your proper doctor and hospital, but it's going to be a two-year waiting list. Or are you free Saturday night live? Because we've got two 17-year-olds who are going to do it. Hilda! She comes out. They... He's a little voice! I've never even do a little voice before! So I'm a wait! Okay, so this is okay, what is this? This is a talent show where people can have a go of being a doctor. This is like something from the middle tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. This is a th. This is a th. This is a th. This is a th. This is a thi thi thi. This is a thi. thi. thi, th. th. th. th. It is th. thi. thi, th. th. th. th. He's th. He's to thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, thi, the thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. He's thi. He's they, thi. He's thi. He's they to to they thi. He's they they thi. He's the the the Middle Ages. But they need volunteers who would rather have an apprentice, if someone have a go. It's not even an apprentice, it's someone with no training at all. Yeah, they learn how to do major operations in a week. But no, not major ones, that's for the final. Oh, of course, yeah. A heart transplant for the final. A heart transplant for the final. So, you're building. A heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a heart, a the, a the, a their, a train, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a their, a th. A, a th. A, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a train, a tha.a, a threata, a threata, a the person who needs a button remove. She's just the foot problem yeah so she comes in they have a

quick chat with her how's your life been better coplay under her she's going oh he's terrible I can hardly walk and all that and they go right. It's a foul who looks like a baby and then and you think this is a good you don't see any problems with this so far you get younger people into other jobs other than singing. I agree with you I think it's crazy that everyone now just wants to be a famous a singer or something and we don't need them they're just contriving it. All they're doing is knocking the last one off the top number one. It's just a factory. But I'm not talking about everyone should try and be a singer am I? What I'm saying is sometimes sometimes you're allowed to pursue your dreams and they might be, you

may fulfill those dreams. There's nothing wrong with that. It may be that you want to operate on a woman called Hilda or Bunya. Pursue that dream. But according to your negative views, we shouldn't even try and be like Leona. Listen, listen to his point Stephen because it's got a very good point coming up. Here it comes. This is it. Okay. He hasn't said a normal word yet, but he's going to say some now and they're all going to be profound. People's dreams.

Um, they're their own dreams? Oh, hold on. What do you mean by that? Keep going? No, no, no. No, no. He he he he he he. He he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th th th th th th th th th th thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the, no, no, he'll explain. You don't need to ask any questions, he'll explain. Because they think they know what they want because they see it on the tele. They see, you know, someone singing a song and they go, I want to do that. So all I'm saying is, change the dreams. Change the dreams. Yeah. Surgery. They're watching. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. They. They. They. They. They. They. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They. They're. They. They. They. They're. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're they're. They're they're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They're watching. They better foot. The doctor's getting all the praise to go, I want a bit of that action. That's where it's about.

They don't want to be singers. They want to be known, they want to be famous. Yeah. So, fine, have a bit of fame, but do some good, fix their foot. So it was like the end of the dreams. Dreams are... Well, you leave it on a good point there, because what is astounding is that when you, you know, people are inundated with praise for people who are just clothed horses, they are just skinny, nobody's who don't do anything except have their picture taken and their role models for, you know, I'm not talking about, you know, anyone particular, but it's just these people who, you know, want to be seen with other celebrities and marry celebrities

and be a celebrity. People think that's an easy life because they're getting rewarded for it. And yet, someone who's stuck in a laboratory trying to come up with a cure for AIDS, they don't know or care about them. And, okay, can I just point out though that if we're going to have a go at people being successful making money and being well known for doing nothing of any value, I point you to the man so opposite me here? And that's, hey, I tell you, these times when I, you I'd have to be a little doctor. Yeah, hold on and two houses. I'd love to, I'd love to be a little doctor. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's past me now. There's no way I can go back. Well, but it would have been brilliant. You're wrong. Carl Pilkington. Hilda. What is it? What now, Hilda, what's up with you? I've got, um, I've got terrible piles.

Um, it's, there's some sort of blockage up there. I haven't gone to the, uh, excuse me, I haven't gone to the toilet for a week. Well, Carl, can you unblock Hilda's ass? Now live, unblocking Hilda's ass. Carl, Bilk! Now live, I'm blocking Hilda's ass. Carl Bilkington. I thought she had bad feet. No, the feet would, no. Jedwood fixed her feet.

There's a lovely job, that's why they stayed in last week. Her ass is worse than her feet. It's because she's been off her feet for so long, because she couldn't walk. Her ass took the brunt of it and it's just terrible. Piles of burst, it's blocked up there where all she just eats his cheese because she's so depressed. I'd just I'd probably knock it on the head there. I'd just say, because I'd just say, like going back to the street thing, I've gone down the wrong having you? I've got this. This isn't for me. I didn't this. I didn't this. I didn't this. I didn't this. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I'd th. I'd th. I didn't just just just just th. I'd th. I'd just th. I'd just th. I'd just this. I'd just this. I'd just this. I'd this. I'd this. I'd this. I'd this. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'll just just just just just just just just just just just just just, th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'll just, th. I'll just, th. I'll just, thr. I'll just, th. I'll just, th. I'll just, thr. I'll just, thr. I'll just, thr. I'll just, th. I'll just, this. It's not for me and that's how you find out that it's not for you by doing it.

Right. But at least I gave it a go. So this is the same as you had one fight with Leroy, you went along to a dance studio with shut, you've seen Hilda's ass and it's turned you off the proctology. Once again you've just abandoned it. Yeah, well that's not so, there, there, there, there, there, they. There's they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. tha, thathea, that's, that's, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, th. But, tha, tha, thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, thi. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, tha. But, at tha. But, at least, at least, tha. But, at least, tha. But Hilda's back passage, feel the blockage. You know, because the audience have already decided, they've seen a weakness in me, they're going to vote me out. No, there's not quite me getting dirty fingers for this. All right. This is yet.

I just want to ask if you've got any ideas about future compileting. All right. Alright, this is Yak. I just want to ask if you've got any ideas about future compilations, then please let me know YouTube.com slash Yack. I hope you're enjoying this. Cheers. I could eat a knob that night. I could eat a knob that night. I could eat a knob that night. It is our house eating a knob. I think, I don't know where it is these days

with people making things complicated. I watched, um, in the name of its, Cloud Atlas. Because in that film? Jesus, I don't know what's going on. You have to take notes while you're watching it. There's nothing relaxing about watching. I think we've got more intelligent,

but we're just making our lives more difficult. Years ago, people were quite happy watching a black and white film with no speaking. You know, it was all like silent movies. Dead easy to follow. Now, you watch Cloud Atlas, tell me if you know what's going on. I watched it all because you kind of think, well, it might all make sense in a minute. About two hours long, I didn't have a clue by the end. I don't know what had just gone on.

Whereas this, nice easy read, no big words in it. I write the way I speak, which is, I think that's the way it should be, so you know it's coming from me. Yeah, that's it, that's all I can tell you. I mean, maybe I'd murder a person. You know, I just say, you know, I don't know, but I think I'd probably go mental. Because that's why I've always been a very reserved person, you know I've never got to have a number five, I'm a to, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th.. th. th. to, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the, the, the, the, they, they, they, they, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, I, I, they. Yeah, I, I'm, they. I'm, I'm, they. they. that's, they, that's that's they, I'm, that's that's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, that's, that's, th. th. thus. Yeah but that's a worrying thought because we don't have to have the end of the world for it to be the end of your world because a lot of people know that they're terminally ill so they don't go around smashing up bars and killing people. But I suppose I know there'll be no repercussions ultimately because they're going to die in the next day everyone's so there's not going to be more in families but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they's they's their their their their their their their to be their to be their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to be to be to be tom. tomorrow tomorrow. tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow. to to to to to to be to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be hours or ten hours of life? I don't care because it's the last day on earth.

Well that's true, I know the moral guilt that I'll feel is over in a few hours. Morality isn't relative just to repercussion is it? Because you can do things without repercussion, but often people say, you know, what would you do it if you never got caught or would you do it if, you know, there is reper reper reper reper reper per per per reper reper per per per per per per per per per per per per per the reper per the reper per the reper per the reper, th, the th, th, th, the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thus, thus, th. the last, thi, thi, th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, the last, their, their, their, thi, thi, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, theeaugh, thirty, the.a, there is repercussions for that person as grave as they might be. Just because you feel that it's no big deal either way, that they're only going to live in another eight hours, they might feel differently. And you're saying, well you won't care because you won't be around. But then, why do people care about their loved ones when they won't be around. Why do people get a will ready? Because my point is that they know that those people will continue to live for an

in determinant amount of time. So you do care about the other person's feelings there? Of course I do. But my point is knowing that everyone is going to be wiped off the face of the earth the following day, all of those's ingrained just because it doesn't matter anymore. Yeah, but I mean I honestly to me it seems that we're approaching just the end of all things and so I'm saying that there's something about the fact that we're all going to end that somehow seems very liberating. What would you do? I've always worked to kick a duck going to end that somehow seems very liberating. What would you do? I've always wanted to kick a duck up the ass. Do you know Anne Frank?

That's all I know about Anne is. There's no point pretending to know that. Yeah. Right. Um. Tell us everything you know about Anne Frank. Uh, she was in her cupboard. Yeah, what else? If she didn't do that, us everything you know about Anne Frank. Uh, she was in a cupboard. Yeah, what else? If she didn't do that, I wouldn't know about her, seriously. That's all I know about her. Yeah. So what did she do?

But what? How do you think of all the way? We know about her cupboard? We know about her cupboard, tho'er tho' the tho' tho'er.. bigger scheme of things why was she in a cupboard? I don't know. Right? I honestly don't know anything else about Anne Frank beyond the fact that to quote you, she was in a cupboard. Well what was she done then? You tell me why should I know more about it? Fristie, I don't think she was in a cupboard. She was in an attic. All right. Yeah. What was she doing from the Nazis? She was hiding from the Nazis? Well isn't that that that that that that that that th. She was that th. She was th. She was th. th. that th. th. th. th. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the th. I the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. I the. from the Nazis. She was hiding from the Nazis. But isn't that the first place to look sort of... Work from the top down?

How, they weren't specifically looking for Anne Frank. They weren't going, where was she as Frank? If she gets that book out, we are in the deep shit, we've got to stop the book. Imagine, oh God. Just imagine if he was in charge, we, we, we, we wea, we wea, we we're we're we're th, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did that, we did, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that, isn't that, isn't that, isn, we've got to stop the buck. Imagine, oh God, just imagine if he was in charge, we did put him in charge of the country. Terrifying. Wouldn't it be amazing? Let him run the country. Or the mayor, what would you do if you were the president or the Lord Mayor of London or the Prime Minister, Carl? I wouldn't do it like he's going to be off on it! It's a hypothetical question, Carl. No, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I th. I th. I don't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't. I, wouldn't. I, wouldn't. I, wouldn't. I, wouldn't. I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I, I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. question, Carl. No, but Susan was, alright, make me missus if you're a new listener. You keep her? Sure. Yeah, help her.

She was, she was watching the news try to follow some heavy stuff. And I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh. I just was like bored and I was reading about you know, they're trying to teach your stuff and you don't even want to learn. So to try and get me interested in it. She was like saying what would you do if you're present and stuff? Yeah. And I can't be doing with any of it.

What did you come up with? What did you come up with? Did you come up with anything? I had a little, um, the design of it, right? I said I'd have like red and blue, sort of, do what I mean? Both sort of major sides into one. Yeah, well that's broken the back of it. That's a pretty good manifesto so far. Anything else? What's on the second page? I had like, uh, KP looks after me. That would be the badges, would it? Yeah. That's good, I'm a KP nut. Klooks after me. Yeah, brilliant.

That's about as far as I went with it. What would you do? What about, you know, policies, transport, crime, you know, just law and order. Yeah, how would you, what would... yeah how would you do what you do with crime what would your initial approach be would you introduce guns should police carry guns nah no would i have to worry about that okay uh... no good point good point

no what I'm saying is that I mean Tony Blair isn't sorting everything out is he no but he has a say in most things does he sorting everything out is he? No but he has a say in most things. Does he? Well go on then what are the problems at the moment? I need sorting out? Well generally how would you, how would it was the best way to combat? Would you would you bolster up the prison system? Would you introduce more community service? Would you put more bodies on the beach? Would you go harsher? Would you go harsher, would you go harsh? Would you th? Would you go har, would go harsh? Would you go harsh? Would you go harsh? Would you go harsh? Would you go har, would go har, would go harsh? Would you go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go harsh? Would you go go go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would go, would the the the the the the the their? Would their? Would their? Would their, their? Would you? Would you? Would you go, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, go, their, their, go, go you go harsher or less harsh? There's pros and cons of drugs, isn't it? Because of course you can't see to condone it, but some people, you know, you don't want

to go through the court system and cost tax buyers for thousands of pounds of money for someone, I don't know, the difference between smoking a split and dealing crack. Do you know what I mean? You have to have all these things, have I lost you? Yeah, I just think about it for a bit, do you know what I mean? Brilliant. You'd think about it for a bit. Yeah. Probably ask Suzanne. That's what I mean?

This is amazing. To get air out on it. Yeah. Now, what about the foreign situation? Would you have supported Bush on this war that we had recently? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean if I was new though, couldn't I just say, look, new slate, you know what I mean? Let's start again? Yeah, of course you can? I'm in charge now, let's, you know, let's see if we can sort this out. What would you do then? Then see what happens? Brilliant? Just look? they. Just this? thi th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, th, th, th, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thu, I thu, I thin, I thin, I thin, I that, I that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thoo. that, that, th Brilliant. Brilliant. Yeah, this is excellent.

Now this is not really your jurisdiction. This is not really your area, but I imagine you have some powerful friends you might have a saying it. Go on. Yeah. What would you do about single-sex marriages? Same-sex marriages? See this got, this camera and I thought Cameron had blown it on Big Brother because they said, you know, what do you think about a gay fellow is getting married and he went, I know in the Bible it says, you know, a man and a woman and I thought, oh he's put off a lot of, I don't mean to think many Christians tune into Big Brother, but we know the guys love it. They love Big Brother, don't they, the guys? Yeah, so interesting. But what would your take me on that, what the same, what the same, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the same, what, what, the same, what, the same, the same, what, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the me on that same-sex marriages. Um, and then what, having a kid? Well, just let's start off with, you know, it's all right, do you know what I mean?

Just let him get on with it, it's not affecting anyone else. Yeah, sure. Right. But it starts getting tricky, right? When you get a kid? Okay. Go on, why? Well, you could be right, I'm not giving anything, I mean, you know, we're not, there's no right or wrong answer. It's all if you were in like, if you lived in the jungle, right, with no one else, right, with no one else looking in on that saying, oh you're a bit weird aren't you? Do you know what? And you thrown as well, Why have they got married and do you think the gay people turned to a bloke because they couldn't get a woman?

Um... If you live... If there's two fellas go away and they're in the jungle they go, we're definitely not going to find a woman I fancy yet, we might as well bum. That's not how the homosexual. That's how how how how how how how how how how how how how well I'll tell you what, I haven't seen the woman I fancy yet, I'll try a bit of knob. No, no, no, but what I'm saying is, right, if you're brought up in like a little jungle, right? Yeah. How are you brought up? Someone just brought up? Someone to put you there. I don't know what? I don't explain explain explain explain explain explain explain explain explain explain to to to to their their that you their that you that you that you that that that that that their that that that that that that that that that that that their their their that that their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that that that that that that that that that to. I to to try to toy toy toy. I toy. I toy. I try to try tho that that that that that can't be bothered running the country. I can't be bothered running the gante. Like I'm too much trouble for you. KP takes care of me.

Right, fair enough. What I'm saying is, right, if you're brought up in a jungle, right? Right. What do you mean brought up? Just let him feel what you mean? You've got to to what you mean by brought up. Wolves, chimps, what? Well, there's a good example of what I'm saying to you.

Right, right? What I'm saying is, is a fella, right? He's brought up in the jungle. Shut up, just let him finish. Let him finish. There's no women about, he doesn't know about women, he doesn't understand what women are. Right. But another fellow walks in the s the the the the with him. What does he talk about? Then they've both got needs. This scenario is ridiculous. How has he lived? Or do you know what's his reference points? I can't be bothered with this. Honestly, Saturday should be day off and that, not worrying me.

Do you. What we're hearing about problems. The milestones in human evolution, the opposable that the forward facing eyes, the upright, these are massive things in taking us out of the animal kingdom. And one day, Carl, you'll walk upright. But what do you mean about eyes facing forward? You mean before we got here there was people whose eyes were looking in their head. I don't understand that. Is that what you mean? No, because when we got a sort of binocular vision. Is that the answer? Yeah, just cave men in front of dinosaurs and that, they sort of went, oh.

And then... Well it wasn't cavemen in front of dinosaurs, was it? Because cave men weren't alive. There was a crossover knocking about. Right, okay, fair enough. It was a crossover point, surely. Uh, not just like 15 million. Was that, yeah, probably the ice age, they were still big reptiles. I think it's fairly common knowledge that the dinosaurs did not exist when... Well, who gave the dinosaurs the name? No, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. the. the. the. No. It. No. It. It. It. It. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It. It. It. It. It. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, tell me, tell me back now, what are the Amish?

They're just, just people who, sort of live, like, in the olden time, so to them they're sort of, in about 1842 or something, so they're getting old papers and that. They haven't cut up to, they don't telly. They don't deny, they don't deny the 20th century has happened. They just don't want to be part of it. They look up and they see planes and they know what they are and they go into the town and they see in the window of Dixon's a telly, they just don't want to be part of it. No, they're still still living, they're still, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they they they they they they they they they just, they they just, there, thin, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, they just, th, th, th, th, though, though, there, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they just they just they just don't they just don't they just don't they just don't they don't they don't they just don't they just don't they just don't they just don't that, they just don't that, they just don't they just still go... They are still living like it's... yeah, 18 and only. Yeah, but they don't, they know, they know about everything else, they just don't want to be part of it because they think that the sort of, the revolution was a bad thing. They think, you know, that society became more and more depraved, and they wanted to go away from it and they want to go back to old values and they think they don't need TV and and jets in that way of life they can

they can survive in the old way because the old way was better. Missing out on Live 8. Yeah but they haven't had band aid yet. Yeah. This was the problem that Carl had he in his mind they were just a bit delayed so that in his head they were slowly. they they they their they they they they they they they they were their they were they were just a bit delayed so that in his head they were slowly moving towards the 20th century. They wouldn't be able to watch most these bands all their electric guitar they could they'd be allowed to watch Tracy Chapman yeah doing an acoustic set between the bands yeah that'll be all right they're no in car although they wouldn't like a ponet trap you got a pony and trap that'll be all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll be all that'll be all that'll be all that'll be all that'll be all that'll be all that'll they'll be all that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they're they're they're they're they they they're they they they're they they're they they're they they they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're about that the guy's what you're talking about. Pony and trap, you got a pony and trap, that'll be alright. But are they still, do they still get sort of rubbish post on that saying we need your money for this or, you know,

you know, get behind this challenge. They live in an isolated community, they're farmers, aren't they? They're farmers. It's an agricultural community and they're, and they're, and they're, and they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they you hate crowds, you hate groups of people, you don't like the modern world, you'd love it down there wouldn't you? He wouldn't like getting up at 4 o'clock to Milka Cal though would he? Well no, but he'd get used to it. Go out of the bed can you? It's probably, I mean have they got anything to do with the Ari Krishna people? No, no. No, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, nothing at all. Because out of all the religions, that's, you know, I'm not a religious person, I don't, I don't understand. You only say no Krishna because you've got the head. That's the image you think of me... I'm halfway there. But the thing is, out out of all, you just, what's that? What was that? The man, he just fell out of my pocket where I'm nearly laying down. the the the the the the the the the their their their their the's the danger of wearing sweatpants everywhere you go. I don't have ever lying down in a chair. You know I've never been a religious type you know

if people want to do it I let him do it and what have you? Good of you. But out of all of them the I want one that's not going to take over your life I don't want one where you've got to get up three times a day and you've got to go and pray and that you've got to get up early, forget that, it's getting in the way. But if it's something like, I was walking to work the other day, right, cross Oxford Street, there's a little Ari Christianfella there, and he sort of had a leaflet and stuff, and he said, you know, are you interested? out and what have you and he gave me a plum They hand out food for some reason but I sort of asked a few questions Let's just demonet yeah he's too bold people one which is wearing an orange

smoking a plum in the middle he hadn't the other one a plum it's almost like you can imagine some kind of religious painting yeah, yeah. But, you know, what is their sort of main thing? Because he didn't really tell me that much, he was a Japanese bloke, so I didn't know what he was saying that much. Why? He wasn't speaking English?

Not very well. It wasn't the best sales bloke to send out for them, is what I'm tham, thian, th, th, is what I, is what I, is what I, th, is what I, th, th, is th, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. It, thi, thi, the, the, the, their, they. It, they. It's, thi, thi, thi, to, to, tooooooan. It's, toooooa. It's, thi. It's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the best sales bloke to send out for them, is what I'm saying. Yeah. But what's that? Are they, you're saying there, nothing like? Well I believe Harry Krishna is a kind of, as an offshoot of a sort of Buddhist faith. It is definitely they are Buddhist, aren't they? Yeah, and obviously the most, obviously a certain amount of times per day. That's why you see the morning down the street saying Harry Krishna, Harry, Harry Krishna, because it's actually a sort of religious chant which they're obliged to do. So you see even if you go into the Harry Krishna faith you may find yourself, you know,

the Ha Krishna, Harry Krishna, Harry Krishna. Perhaps why you're forced to say it. Yeah, no no. You can put it on an iPod and you can't. You can't put that on an iPod. No, I think you have to actually say it. So I guess that kind of eats into your social life a little bit. And there's the wearing orange as well. Particularly frustrating. I imagine if you're in a cinema or a library. A little bit awkward there, you know, midway through Star Wars. Or you live next door to a blocrow a blove called a blove called a blove called a blove called a blove called a blove called a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloat or a bloc. A the the their a bloc. A their their their their their their their their their. You're their. You're their. You're their. their. their. their. their. You're their. You're their. You're their. You're their. their. You're their. You're their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. the. their. their. their. their. th. thinks you're calling him. Yeah. That probably... Yeah. So that's in this, I mean I don't think we've quite done the Harry Krishna faith. It's full service there, but so interesting to you. I mean you got handed a plum, you've been treated well by them. Yeah, but he couldn't tell, I just wanted to know how much time it would take up, what are the benefits? You know, what can, I the benefits, I the benefits, I the benefits, I the benefits, I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I just, I just, I just, I just th. I just th. I just tho, I just want tho, I just don't, I just thi, I just want thi, I don't, I don't, I don't thi, I don't thi, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't know't know, I don't know, I don't know, I just don't know, I just don't know, I just don't know, I just want tho, I just don't know, I just don't thin, I just don't th up, what are the benefits? You know, what can you do? What can you do? Well I think the benefits are they probably don't get stressed out. They've probably got

that sort of that Zen, that that that that that chiness about them where they they try and interact and quite meditative. Yeah. I have some nice trainers as well don't they? What are you looking for then in a faith car? You say you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, th, what, what, what, th. th, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the benefits, th. th. the benefits, what, what, the benefits, they're, they, they, they're, they're, they're, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. What, th. I th. thi, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, they're, they're, the benefits, they're, the don't they, with their drawings. What are you looking for then in a faith car? You say what are the benefits? I mean obviously Catholicism you get the communion wine and bread so. Yeah, but I can afford that. Right. Probably, just, I like the Crusaders. I was forced into joining that as a kid because a mate sort of joined it and he sort of said he had joined in her I sort of swore at him I said I'm not doing that right he said right if you don't come with me I'll tell you man you just

swore so I was like oh so I went so I went along and they used to just go on the Friday when they played you know Sabutio and then I went on one Sunday and it was totally different there was no sort There was no subuteo, there was no sort of, you know, table tennis. The thing where you hold a thing and knock things over. Skittles. It was all that on a Friday. Went on a Sunday, it was rubbish. He said, right, sit down in this room, they gave me a Bible.

I thought, this looks too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to to to to to to tho th in this book. And I never went again. I used to hide on a Sunday when they came round. And that's been the only sort of... I suddenly, why isn't it suddenly turn out? I have to hide on a Sunday when they're coming around. Because he wouldn't, they wouldn't leave. Who was it? Are they adults? It was a, yeah, sort of a, well he seemed like an adult to me at the time but he was probably about 27. Well that is an adult. Yeah but do you know I mean he seemed a lot older when I was a kid and he came knocking and that and he used to say to me ma'am I

I just to told him I'm ill or something and he used to hang around to see if I eventually come out to play in that and if I did I think it would have to grab it would have the the they would have grabbed he to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to grab to love the idea that you want, that for you religion has to bring with it some kind of gift. It's like, you know, join our faith and you get an alarm clock radio. It's like something like that. It's like something like that. But I think religion does bring a gift. Usually it's the gift for the Lord. Well, the gift of everlasting life, his feeling is like that should be a given, that's safe, I'm definitely going home with eternal life, but what else can I have? Is that my poignity? You have to have a religion because obviously I don't have a legen, I don't miss it and I wouldn't want one. I'm an atheist. And that's out of, that's out of belief, that's out of logic. And we're going to get into the politics, get the politics, the politics, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, and, get, and, get, and, get, and, and, and, the, the, the, get, get, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the religion, the religion, the religion, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to want one. I just was saying that, you know, if I was to get one, which one would a go for? It's what I'm saying. I'd like to see you perhaps as a Jew. I think Judaism would suit you well, I think. What are they always like for that? Tough. It can't be true. It's tough. It can't be their their their their their their thi thi thi thi th. It can't be thi. It can't thi. It can't thi. It can't thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's tho's tho's thi. It's thi. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. I. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thoooooo's thoooooooo's tha. I thooooooooooooo's that. I that. I that. I know and they they have a day where they don't eat and stuff I can't be doing that. So we may have days when they eat a lot too much? Yeah but what happens is I'm not that hungry that day? Like I said I don't

like change. So Carl if you had to go to a new planet don't worry about starting life again they've got sort of like these breeder clones that adore that but you can they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they can they can they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they they can't they can't they they they're they're they're they they're they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I th. I th. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the. I the. I the the. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they're they they're they they're they they're they're they're the. I th sort of like these breeder clones that adore that but you can choose six people from this world to take to start this whole new world okay so you need you know as I say you don't need to worry about. So what's happening there is this is this? It's gonna be wiped out okay it's gonna be wiped out but there's enough on this spaceship for you and five other people okay and they've got them they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their their. their. th. th. their. they're they're th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to their. the five other people okay and they've got them there they've got these they've got these sort of breeder clones there so it's gonna be populated you're gonna have the workers the drones everything like that but you want to take six I suppose sort of from world lords to teach to lay down the politics the teachings the laws

the the teachings, the laws, the government. Okay. I hate it. And how long have I got to make a decision on it? To the end of this podcast. Right, go. Who do you take? Who's the first person you take and why? Uh, and where are we going? And where are we going? Where are there's an atmosphere?

I've got to sell it to the people who am asking. to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the people the people the people the people the people tham tham them tham the people who I'm them tham to make the people who I'm asking to make to make to make to make to make the people to make their to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make their their their their the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people the people who I the people who I'm asking the the people who I'm asking the people who I'm asking the people who I'm asking the people who am asking the people who am asking the people who am asking the people who am asking the's an atmosphere. I've got to know where I'm going because I've got to sell it to the people who I'm asking. There's no point when you go. You're coming with me. Where are you going? I don't know. It's just like this world. There's oxygen, there's seas, there's rivers, there's forests, there's animals, okay? But we're going to pop it with the the human race the human race the human race the human race the human race the human race the human race the human the human the human the human the human the the human the the human the the human the the the human thase thase the human thase thase thase thase thase to to to to the human the human to to to to to to to to to to to to to to six people to lord over this new kingdom. You want the best people for the job. Yeah, so who's the first person? Probably Patrick Moore. Why would you take Patrick Moore? Just because he knows his way about up there, he'll know the way. So just have him. I think that will, whoever a pick next, if they see that he's going they'll go right, you know, it's going to be a long journey as it is is is is..... the first it is is it is it is it is it is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is the first. It is. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the way. So just have him. I think that will, whoever a pick next, if they see that he's going, they'll go right, you know, it's going

to be a long journey as it is, you don't want someone who's going to be going, is it left here? Is it right? Do you know what I mean? Do you mean? And he could play the and he could play the zip--up, and, and, the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, I, tho, I, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they, they, the, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. very useful getting to the planet. No but I always wanted to meet him as well I've always wanted a chat and that'd be a good chance when I'm in a rocket. How long is it taking to get to Mars? I don't know a year. That's what I mean. It's not. It's not a the ma'am. It's not a to... It's not a try to a chat with him about to the to to to to to to to the the to the to the th. I th. I th. I when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha to to to to to to to to to. I think you know... Why do you why do you think that? Just because he's spent his whole life talking about what's going on up there and yet he's never been and I feel sorry for him. You know most people when they when they're into something they get to go to a place don't they? Sure. People don't know Patrick Moore is an 80-year-old astronomer. Yeah that's what I mean so let him.. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th thi thi thi that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to hea to to to to to to to he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he thi to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he's he's he mean so let him have a bit of a good life. So Moore's on board. Yeah Patrick Moore, he's on. Right, out five others. Four others now.

Uh, Jamie Oliver. Why would you take Jamie Oliver? Just food and that. You just what you need need someone because they say that like you're, you know, you can feel down if you don't eat. Um, he couldn't convince eight year olds to eat a carrot. What's he gonna do in this brave new world? They're all gonna be on Turkey Twizzlers. I think he's got the right attitude. He wouldn't be faffing about. Remember we've landed now on this new world. Yeah. I don't's like. The people who've made you... Listen, I love Jamie Oliver. I think he's great, but he wouldn't be in my five people to start a new world.

That's all I'm saying. Nor would Patrick Moore because he knew the way. Well what chef would you pick? I wouldn't pick a chef. I wouldn't think you quite grasp that these people have to start civilization again they have to be wise wise people who can make the laws yeah and before you do all that you need a good meal so Jamie Oliver it'll be that's his job it's like when we get there that's when he kicks in right

he's the first one really. Can I suggest to save two places on Patrick Moore, Jamie Oliver, take a map and a cookbook? Okay, who's number three? What sort of state is this world in? Does it need... Oh, it's going to take a fucking gardener. It's like the, it's the world but new? It's the world but new. Untouched by humans. There's been no fossil-it the the the fossil the fossil the fossil the fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil fossil the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their the the their their their their the the the the the the the the the ta. Take the ta. Take ta. Take ta. Take the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tap tape. tape. tape. tape. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to the the world but new. It's the world but new untouched by humans. There's been no fossil fuels burnt, no machinery, no wars, just this garden of Eden. And you, Patrick Moore and Jamie, I'll have a pitch up. Plus, who else, Carl, go down for his thought? Attenborough. Again, he's a genius and he's a bit of a hero of mine, but I don't know if we need Atombrough. Just because I reckon if it's a new world, you're saying it's the same, but they always say, don't

they that, all worlds are different. So, I'd want in there, just to sort of, when we're roaming th roaming to roam, to roam, to roam, to roam, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, they.a, tha, tha, tha.a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toe, to same but they always say don't they that all worlds are different. So I'd want in there just to sort of when we're roaming around because we'll all stick together for a bit won't we? When we're roaming around. Then we're sick of the sight of you. They go, let's lose Carl. But you've got two men so far who've got a combined age of about 150. I mean if you're starting a brave new world they're dare I say it not going to be around very long shouldn't you be taking some younger fresher blood? No not really because they haven't lived have these have these have lived and they'll they can so and they're useful like I say Patrick Moore's done his bit he's got us there Oliver is

cooked as a dinner they'd they'd a chat. I don't think you're thinking of the future. I think you're thinking of the journey and then the first night. Okay, okay, so you got David Allen, you've got Patrick Martin Martin, you've got two other places. I get the feeling that you're not so much recruiting people for a new world as I'm a celebrity get me out.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I' th. I' th the th the the th the thin' thin' the the the the thin' the thin' thin' thin' thin' think. I'm think you're think you're think you're think. I' think. I' think. I' think. I' think. I' think. I' think. I' think. I' think. I've think. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thin. I'm thin th thin th thin th th thin the thin the think you're think you're the think you're think you're think you're think you're think you're think you're thin thin' two other places. I get the feeling that you're not so much recruiting people for a new world as I'm a celebrity get me out of you. As a dinner party with people you'd like to meet that you've seen on the tellie. Oh, come on two more. I'd text someone who's a bit daft. No, you don't need to Carl. That's covered, believe us. No, that's what I mean tho, no, I, I, I, I them, I them, I them, I them, I their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. thi. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. their. tho, tho, the tho, the the the tho, their. their. th. their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that, that, too, too. too. too. tea. teateateate. te. te. te. te.'s what I mean though I don't want them having to go at me going why are you here I'd put up point the attention somewhere else to text someone else who to wind them up so is that then Paul Denan I really is I'm a celebrity

so you've got you've got Patrick Moore you've got take me down bro you've got you've got Jamie the other other I I I I I I I I I I th you th you th you they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they Moore, you've got David Atombra, you've got Jamie Ove and Portin Out. A crazy world! They're starting life again. Okay then, brilliant. Oh God. Right, one more. This is an amazing.

It's going to be, I'd love to go back and visit this in a thousand years. What teachings they laid down? Oh God. I don't know it has to be a woman I think you got to have a woman in that little group, aren't you? He's got that covered with all of her but no, no he's got to take nigenate in a cream cake kind of move. Oh God. Delia Smith was furious. She'd packed her bags and everything. Or a nurse.

Now you're thinking. Abby tipmas? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Why does romance die once you're married? And is that why you're not married? No. I don't think romance is that important. I think it's one of them things that people do because they've seen in a film. I think that's where romance comes from. I don't think it's in the real world.

You know, you sort of it. What film is it? Especially in the old-fashion films, in the old, in the real world. You know, you sort of it. What film is it? Especially in the old fashion films, in the old black and white ones, you get like loaks putting the coats out in puddles so that women can walk through and without getting the feet wet. Never do that. Mental. Don't care how much you love someone. You shouldn't go wrecking, you sort of cope just because she wants them. Why is she walking through puddles? Just go round them. I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd to the cost of dry cleaning and everything. There's no way that, I wouldn't, you see, if a woman expected that, I'd go, right, it's over. I suppose that's that's that's that's that's the good the good that's relationships. It's finding out what they expect from you, isn't it? That's what works. It's not about how much you love them and that, it's how much you

respect each other. And if I was going out with a woman who expected me to stick me coat in every puddle, she comes past. Forget it. It's not happening. Doesn't matter how much we sort of connect through the brain or what hobbies we've got. If she's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, it's, it's, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, tho, tho, tho' tho' tho' not tho' not tho' not tho' notthere so I can walk through a puddle, I go right it's over. But it happens that don't it? I've seen, I've seen it in films loads of times. What are you doing? If you're gonna keep doing that, buy some wellies. If you got a piss about going through puddles all the time, you know. No, I like the monkeys peeling potatoes. Right. That's never happened. They go and put nuts in the salt water to salt the nut. Whatever. How does that get to peeling potatoes?

Because in your head, they were working in a canteen. Making chips. Yeah. It doesn't matter what the food is. I'm just saying how they know how to sort of prepare that food. I the fact that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiq thoomk is th the food is. I'm just saying how they know how to sort of prepare that food. I love the fact that you don't care what the fact is. When you're discussing facts, that's all that matters. Otherwise I'd mastermind, they just go, um, uh, who wrote much and do about nothing?

Dickens? Yeah, close enough, whatever someone did. The fact is what matters. Yeah, but with that question, that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their the fact is the fact is the fact is what's the fact is what's the fact is what's the fact is what's the fact is what's the fact is what's the fact is the fact is what's the fact is what's the fact is what's the fact is what's the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact is what's. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact is what's the fact. the fact. the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the fact. that question, that's got a straightforward answer. What I'm telling you is the way that animals work. If it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage. You're quite well off now, aren't you? You've got your nice big house and everything. Is that made you happier? Yeah, it was the thing that I always wanted. That was the main thing a house. I'm not bothered about. I've told you, you know, clothes aren't anything. I don't wear jewelry because it irritates me.

The last thing I want to do when I'm not working is getting a plane because I've been flying about. So really, it's always just been the house has been the main thing that I've always wanted my space and I'm happy with it and I like doing work in it and I'm happy to have people around but I'm happy to get them out as well you know I'm really house proud if you come round if I ever said come round I say oh can you se shoes off yeah yeah yeah straight away no matter who it is really yeah the gas man he hates it i i bet i try your shoes off? Yeah, yeah. Straight away. No matter who it is. Really? Yeah, the gas man that he hates it.

I bet? It's like, oh, do you know how many houses I go to? It's like, well, if that's a case, you should have those coverers. You know, I'm not inviting you in. What's so special about your? cleaned it I've got a steaming mop, I've got one of those Vax mops, I'll keep it clean like I say I'm house proud and the point is I didn't ask for the gas meter to be in the house I didn't ask for him to come round I didn't ask for him to be in the house. I didn't ask for him to come round I didn't ask for him to come around I'm here to read your

meter we'll bring some shoe coverers. I know that your attention span on the videos. People, see there's so much on YouTube, you're probably gone already. I'm like that. I start watching something and you can see a little other video to the right of the video you're watching, that looks good. I was doing it the other day watching the octopus, the octopus, I was doing it the other day watching videos of octopuses. I was watching an octopus get out of a jar, somebody shoved an octopus in a jar, and it was able to sort of unscrew the lid itself and get out. And I think it got about three legs out and I was already bored. When you think how amazing that is that an octopus can get out of a jar, and I didn't even watch it all. I could see another video that said octopus's change colour depending

on what they sat on. Do you know like a chameleon? Bang I was on that. So you're probably already gone. All right, this is Yak. YouTube.com. Please feel free to check out all my other compilations. Got 60 of them. Cheers. Please feel free to check out all my other compilations. Got six of them. Cheers. sitting here having to talk to you because they say, you know, we'll definitely will, this time we'll do it. I've done about five or six of these videos and they never put them on the own page. You stick it on the page where the DVD is,

but by that point, you've already got to the page where the DVD is, so it's pointless flogging it to you. So what is the point? It sort of niggles me. The problem is Amazon, they flog too much stuff. It's the biggest shop in the world, isn't it? And what I want is the shop window. But they never ever put me, I'm never getting the shop window of Amazon. They basically shoving me right at the back, near the fire exit. That's where they flog my stuff.

You might come across it by the the the their their near the fire exit. That's where they flog my stuff. You might come across it by accident, but it's never there. It's like they're never proud of it. The amount of work are put in. They're traveling about, they're not eating properly, they're not sleeping properly, getting ill. It's a lot of time and effort I put into this, but they never put me at their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're know, they sort of show off all the stuff like the wire or,

I don't know, Game of Thrones or whatever it is. It's all that stuff, that's what will be on the homepage. If you want something, you can normally get it on Amazon. Apart from Long Got Summer with Don Johnson on DVD, my man wanted it. For some reason, they don't stock it. I don't know why that is. But anything else, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th th they, th th th they, th tho, I tho, I tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, tho, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, tho, tho, they they they they they've tho, they've tho, tho, tho, they've, tho', tho', thooo', thooo', thoo' tho' tho. tho. tho, wanted it. For some reason, they don't stock it. I don't know why that is. But anything else, they've got anything you can think of, they're probably flogging it on Amazon.

In fact, this is how I should do it. I should talk about how good Amazon is, and then I might get on the home page thinking about it. So Amazon is probably the best online shop where you can buy stuff from turtle wax, car polish, to ceramic ducks. In fact, bigger than that. That isn't even that. You can get that in home base, both of them things. But imagine something at that end of a scale and the other end, they cover it all. Apart from that Don Johnson film, that end of a scale and the other end, they cover it all. Apart from that Don Johnson film, that Long that Summer film, I don't know why they

don't stock that. But if you want anything, Amazon is brilliant, so, hang on let me, so they can't edit this out. So for all the hottest titles in DVDs, The Wire, the Sopranos box set and the moaning a life, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that hottest titles in DVDs, the Wire, the Sopranos Box Set and the Moaning the Life, that's out now on DVD. Click on it, buy it, buy it for yourself, buy it for someone else. Thank you.