The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Guardian S5E2 (September 15, 2008)

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Four more episodes were released on 15 September 2008 through the iTunes Store. This series was released all at once as an Audiobook, almost two hours in length and split into four half-hour episodes. This series differs because they were recorded at the same time. There are no contests or any interaction from the listeners as the previous series contained.

Hello, welcome to episode 2 of the Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Kyle Pilkington. Oh yeah, I just feel bad about Graham. I feel sorry for Graham. Don't feel sorry for Graham. Well, he was a nice guy and he, he, absolutely, and he, absolutely, and he, she was so badly treated. Took you into his home, it was going to give you everything and you just didn't appreciate and were saving your family's life. And you just... I went, I went for the other option. There's no point, all I'd be doing is letting Graham down. And as much as I didn't like him, I don't want to ruin his life. I don't know why he didn't like him. He was just not my type. You know, he wasn't a lovely guy. Why wasn't he a lovely guy? Just his ways, you know, I mean you

you bond with some people, you don't with others that had nothing to do with him. You barely even had a conversation with him. Yeah, you know, but you click straight away with people don't you. You know when you meet someone. You know when you meet someone. You're the the the the the the the the the the the the he. You. You. You. You. You. the the the the the the he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he he he he he he he he he he. he the way was he he he he he he he. he. he he. he he. their their their their their. Just. Just. Just. Just. their. Just. Just. he. Just. Just. he. he. Just. he. Just. he. Just. he. he. Just just just just just just just just just just just. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way the way th. th. the way th. the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way. the way. the way. the work. If I was to go out with a gay man, Graham wouldn't be the one. Who would be? Just someone who wasn't as in your face as him. Which is someone? What do you mean in your face? What? Just sort of, you know, just the way you was straight away. I wouldn't go to a club to meet someone like that. I wouldn't. Because I don't know is gay. What's all that means? Someone who's just quiet about it, just get on with it.

So if you were gay, you'd like a sort of straight man? No, because that's not going to work either, is it? That was my situation with Graham. But how do you, how would you, if know was gay? What so if you're gay, the only gay life you can do is like going to a club where it's a racket at 4 in the morning and meet with someone? No? No. So that's what I'm saying. Who would be your ideal partner if you were gay? Who would you like? Who would be your ideal partner if you're the thi? that's someone who's the theymeat that thi. Because I wouldn't thrown. thrown. thrown. thr-I I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm what I'm saying. I'm saying. I'm saying. I'm saying. I'm saying. I'm th. I'm saying. I'm saying. I'm saying. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying I'm thi. I'm thin thin thin thin thin. I thin. I thin. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm that's that's that's that's that's the the the their. I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying. I'm saying. Who the the the. Who the. Who the the the. Who the the. Who the the. Who their their their the. I'm who's got nickers up at ass and you know it's the equivalent it's the in-your-face woman and the in-your-face man. I don't want any of you. Well who do you want? What's your sort of guy? Okay we just say what your sort of guy is then? Do you want him to be sort of like a man's man sort of goes you you know slap? He him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. He's they. He's they. Hea. He's they. He's they. Hea. He's they. He's they. He's toe. He's he just sort of gives you no I don't want that no you want what's what I'm

what's it going with you do you know what you want petal yeah what do you want you want to man I'm asking you what the ones who are just normal who just talked look alright how how's it going yeah I'm all right what we're doing tonight what we're doing tonight watching Daya if you they they they the they they they they the they they they they they the they the they they they the they they they the they they they the they the the they they they the the they they the they they they they they they they they're the the their their to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I I th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th are are are thooo tho tho the ard if you want go straight to bed after that yeah oh no it's straight in bed I love the fact he went from like not being sure to just like getting a man but not great I wouldn't be four in the morning I'll be living my life as I am now right but I'd be a gay man yeah okay so I'm just gonna to be a game man yeah so I'm they're gonna to be a gay man. Yeah, okay. So I'm just gonna... Because I'm not, so that's not gonna change. Why would it? No, you were so, I'm just trying to... Carl, we're trying to establish what sort of guy you go for?

Okay, we've settled that. If, um, sorry about that, if any, uh, people feel sorry for Graham, sorry about that, on this, the brand new fifth series of the Rookagebate Show. We're talking about things that happened since we met, looking back, what have you learned, where are we going forward from this? I thought we could play Room 101, the popular TV show where people cast the things they hate into Room 101 Forever. Room 101 of course is taken from George Orwells in 1984.

Remember all your fears and terrors and so... Is there a copyright issue here? Well yeah well let's play Room 102. Clever. This is the room next door to Room 1 1 which is worse in my opinion. Oh Winston Smith he'd love to be in room 101 if he went to room where he'd go oh get me back to I didn't know I didn't know oh I didn't know I was born this is much worse so Carl these are things that really annoy you don't put in things like you know cancer and racism I mean that goes without saying the they're all all the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho. tho. the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th. th too th. too too too too too too too too too too too to too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, that goes without saying they're already in there. All the terrible things in life here. This is just your little bug bears, the things that really annoy you that, you know,

well, I actually did the real show and I put in things like, um, lateness. That's my bug bear. I can't, I think I put in, um, oh, parents's who's who's who's who's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the I put in, oh, parents who let their kids run riot. Parents who think that everyone is interested in their kid as much as they are. I remember I was talking about this family, right? They were passing the baby around in a restaurant, and it was like being sick, and they were all shouting about it. And I was like, oh, and I got on to, oh yeah, they were they they they they they they were, they were, they were, they were, they, they, they, they, they, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, they were, their, their, their, they were, they were, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thinking, oh and I got on to, oh yeah they're the breastfeeding it and at one point I went on a this sort of like digression about a friend of mine who moved to the country and the woman

next door sort of this hippie woman next door about 40 you know the one there is sort of like, you know what I mean? Shave your legs and stop wearing flip-flops. And they said they, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, we we're, we're, we're, we're, we're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their, their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their breast-s their breast-neathea, their their their their their theeat, the one there is sort of like, I know, maybe I know what I mean? Shave your legs and stop wearing flip-flops. And they said, oh, we're just neighbors and we brought you around a rice pudding. And they gave my friend the rice pudding. And she went, oh, it's made from breast milk because I'm still lactating. I went, thanks very much. And of course, she went and they went, and they went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, and she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, she went, and she went, they threw it away and washed the dish and gave it back to her and it annoyed me. The arrogance of coming round and saying,

uh, it's rice pudding made my breast milk. The out of here, you dirty hippie. Is that what you'd have said though if she'd arrived at your butten. No, I'd have said, oh, do you know what, I'm breast milk intolerant? No, I remember the next day it went out on television, what journalist said, oh, Ricky Jovey's showed his misogynist side. No, no, I stand by it. I don't eat strangest breast milk.

I was totally natural. Well, it's not, okay, I is a cum sandwich. It doesn't matter if it's natural. It's fucking disgusting. Don't make me a rice pudding out of breast milk. You know what I'm not a fussy eater? Sure, well you are. Yeah. But no, I know what you mean. Surely you draw the line there of a stranger's breast milk.

Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. No, absolutely, th, Jiz clan. Jiz plan, do you know what I mean? That's giving you an example of the sort of thing that one might put into room 102. Yeah, that people who try and make you eat their breast milk disguised in rice budding. It's quite a specific fear. Yeah, that one. Uh, uh... Graham. Oh come on. He doesn't deserve that. Slugs. Was in there? Slugs? So, um, then there's a, you have to put a case forward and me and Steve decide whether the slugs go in or whether they stay out, whether they got a purpose. Why? It's just because I'm having a problem with slugs, at the moment. There's a lot of slugs coming in the house. Why?

I don't know. They can get where like water can't. You know what I mean? Because they're boneless, aren't they? It's a really little gap. So it's water, there's not many bones in water. No, no, they're looking for light. Water is just happy where it is. You understand what I'm saying.

Why banish them all to room 102 slugs because they're harness, aren't they? Yeah, but I also think, I mean, at the end of the day, they're happy wherever. So stick them in room 102, they're not bothering me and they're happy. They're not both the room room room room room the room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room room. No, no, no, this is a metaphor. Room 102 means they disappear from existence. It's not really a room where you put in slugs with people making rice pudding out of their breast milk. It's not really, it's no, it's not, you can't rent that room. We're saying would you take slugs out of existence? That's quite a tough call, because everyone's going to have a go, but I don't know what they do. All I know is they clogging up my piping.

I had to go out and buy a plunger. I hadn't seen them since like comics when I was a kid. And I suddenly thought I'd need one of them things that I always saw in comics. I never thought I'd need idea what they're going right, it's for a plunger. Where did you go and get one? Where's the hardware shop, around the corner. So I went round there, so have you got a plunge, who said, what size do you want? I said, oh, what size have you got?

I said, oh, we got three different sizes, like all like bits of black stuff came up. I think it was slugs in there, like broken up slugs. Well, hang on, hang on, that could it just be black gunk. No, no, it looked very sluggish. Because remember, I've had a problem with them anyway. I'll go to the toilet or whatever. Look round, there's a slug? Yeah, definitely slugs. I have to keep shucking around because I don't like killing anything. I didn't want to kill the slugs with slug pellets.

I bought some copper ribbon. Right, they don't like going over that. They don't like, they get a little shock off it. But now that should be a warning. But instead they's a warning. That's like having a no trespassing sign. And they're just going, bollocks to that. And they're getting in and it's annoying me. And now you get to a point when you do say, well, if they carry on like this, I'll have to kill them because they're not, how much, how much, I don't know what doing anything. I was looking at one close up. But what do you want to do? Bee reading Rousa?

What do you want a slug to do? In the same way you see a bee collecting pollen, good, he's doing its little work. And it's carrying big leaves or whatever. The slugs just sat in the kitchen. They're all doing the same thing. That slug, believe me. There's not enough there for me sometimes. But never mind a slug. There's nothing for it.

Definitely not in the shower. What's he doing? So I told you ages ago about how they cause more problems than good. They eat cabbage when they shouldn't be. They get in letter boxes and nick stamps. They eat nick stamps. They eat the stamps. They like the glue on it.

Right. Right. Is this a big problem though? Is there an epidemic of slugs eating stamps? But I think it is, and that's why they're sticking to stuff. they into stuff. Have you ever picked up a slug? Well sticky, they give off this glue. It's like all the glue they've eaten off stamps, they panic and when they sweat, they sweat.

Sweat! Think of a slug? What do you mean they sweat glue? If you're making up nature, this is like Attenborough but made up. If you, when you see a slug, you prod it, it gets nervous, it wants to run off. But the problem is, because he's sweating glue, it's not sweating glue. It makes sense. This is just a nonsense theory. It's just what I've noticed on. Right, Rick, do you allow slugs in room 102? Well, I just want, I think we should, you know,

if they're going to be gone forever, then we should, we should put a case forward. They're amazing creatures. You're younger, they're in your house. It'd be different. All you've got histwo sets of like antennae. The one at the top is for light and the next one is that they can smell and get food in the air, just the slightest. What do they do for the world?

They're food. If only... He's not good enough that. It's not good enough. What do you mean? That's the ultimate sacrifice, surely them being food for some eating them? Who's eating them? Hedgehogs. Do you like them? Yeah, they love them. Yeah.

They love slugs. Do they? Yeah. The thing is, though, if you're always going to upset someone, aren't you? their thing I'm always going to upset someone, are theirn't, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, than, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, tho, tho, to, thi, that, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to, to too, to, to, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho and I'm not sure that you've argued well enough. I'm just having problems with them at the moment. I've spent three quid on a plunger. And I don't like the idea that every time I get up in the night to go into the toilet or whatever, I've got to put the light on because I've got to have a? No, I'm not. It's just, I mean, at the end of day you only moan about what's fresh on your mind at the moment.

And I haven't, you know, I've got to go to that house and I dread to think what's, how many slugs are going to be stuck to the scene and everything. Right, okay. So we need to do what the brains would be better at doing. Right, okay, now I've got to get around that sentence. Now to tell me again? Brains that don't want to do what their owners are good at. Ah, so now it's the brains fault. Before you said, you're going to put people in who don't do what their brains are good at, but now you've changed that, now you're putting the blame on the brain. Now you want to put in brains who don't want to do what their owners are good at. I like the fact that you own a brain.

Okay, now, no, for a living? But sometimes they're not good enough. Right. You mean they have a dream and they can't fulfill it because they haven't got the skill? Yeah, but that doesn't mean they're not good for anything. No. It's just that they haven't unlocked the thing that they're good at, which is fair enough, you can't always find what's going on. There's a lot going on in the brain. Yeah. You know, there might be something up there that you just never find, which is sad. Right. But you mean you may never discover your full potential because you may never stumble across it.

You may never have the means. Yeah. Yeah. But that, yeah, of course. I only got into hospital radio because my dad was in hospital. So I found out about about about th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You that. You that. You that. You that. You that. You that. You th. You that. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You may th. You may that. You may that. You may may may th. You may the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. You may may may may may may may that. You may. You may. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You th. You th. You may. You may th. You may th. You may th. You may th. You may th. th. th. th. t. to th. th. to th. to to to th. to to th. You may th. You may th. You I found out about this thing and I thought I didn't even know this existed and what I go out. Of course. So I mean so that's this much bigger issues there that poor working class people don't get the same opportunities. People in the third world when you're worrying about whether you're going to live through the next few days you don't start thinking I wonder if I can play the cello. Can I refer you back though, Rick? You made an interesting point there, but I fear that's not exactly what Carl was saying. I don't think that his point was quite that profound. Yeah, that's kind of what I meant. Yeah, I don't know.

There was something to do with the brain not allowing its owner. Yeah, because that's the bitbscoles. Because it hasn't, it hasn't found its destiny type thing. But when someone is good at something and they know the brain is good at something, but then they don't want to do it and they want to go off and do something else. Sorry, who's to blame here? The person or the brain, I'm talking like him now. Who are you putting into do what the brain wants to do? I think it's the owner because, say like a bloke who's good at plumbing. His brain loves plumbing. His brain loves plumbing. He's sick of plumbing. So he goes off to try and plan. He's going going to do something else. He's going to do something else.

He's carpentry. Now they say in this country, the problem is we haven't got enough tradesmen. Right. We don't have plumbers. Right. There's enough plumbers' brains. I don't know what the f the brain that's in charge the brain could be going I want to go for a walk or I want to go and find something out but if your body's too lazy to

get up and go and see the stuff the brain isn't going to get what it wants. It doesn't make sense Carl. You are your brain. Okay you can you can have a brain. You are brain. You are. You are, you. You are, you. You are, you. You are, you. You are, you. You are, you. You are, you. You are, you. You are, you. You are, you. I. I. I. I. I, you. I, you. I, you. I, you. I, you. I, you. I, you, you. I, you, you, I, I, I. I want to, I want to go. I want to go. I want to, I want to go. I, I, I, I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I, I, I. I. I, I. I, I, I, I. I, I, I want, I want, I want, I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go. I want to go, I want to go, I want to go want to go, I want to go want to go want to go want to go want to go, I want to go, I want to go. I want this, you could say that everyone's brain has the ability to become a plumber. Yeah. You know, you'll break, you know, yeah. But I don't know if it has, you see, because this is the thing. When I was younger, when I first left school, I had two jobs I wanted to do. Want to be a joiner, right? or a car mechanic. I had a go out sort of joinery, couldn't really get me head around it.

Did work placement at a garage, messed it up, got kicked out. The thing is, just because I messed the garage up. What, how did you mess up? The fella was a, he's a bit moody the garage and he was, he just, he just, he just, he just, you know, like the the the floor and everything, and make it with lines in it and everything like that. Right, what did you do? And it was, he painted it white, you shouldn't have white, white in a garage. It's stupid with all the oil about on that. It's not the right color, it's like getting a white sofa you're asking for the the the the the the the tha. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to be, their, their, their, thin, thin, thin, thin, their thin, thin, make their their their their thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, and everything, make thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin, make thin, make thin, make thin, make thin, make the. make the. And the. Make thea'n't thea'n't thea' thin, make thin, make thin, make thin, do you want to change the oil on the car? So yeah, go on then. So what do I do?

He said, you pull a sump out, stick a bucket underneath, catch the oil. All right, then. Go down there, pull a sump out, hold the bucket. But because of the pressure, the oil doesn't come straight out, it flurps out sideways. Went all over his white floor. went mental kick me out. Now the thing is, that wasn't really my fault. My brain didn't know. It was showing an interest. Let him finish! Oh God what does he mean? Shut up. Let me the brain. The brain was showing an interest but at the end of the day if it hasn't got the knowledge, what can it do? Now you could say say was that my fault or my brain's fault? No, I'd never say that. People may be in the wrong that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that their their their their their that their that that that that that that that that that that that was that their their that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that. that was that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. their the. their the. the. the. the. that's the. that's that's the. that. People may be in the wrong job, you might not discover

what you're really... Yeah, but I'm talking about, you get people, alright, let's go to the extreme. People with no legs who want to be swimmers. Don't be stupid. Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! It's so annoyed! It's a big problem. It's mad that the brain wants to do that that so much. The brain's in the wrong in the wrong body almost. Yeah, are you in me? No. A plumber, a plumber who can plumbe. He's annoying when he jacks it in as a living because there's other brains who can't do plumbing. They don't get the red round it. Look you you must have learned the same stuff at school as me but a lot of it wasn't interesting to my brain. I wasn't bothered it wasn't into taking it in yet look at me in light editing and all that I can use all that equipment because my brain's the brain's happy with it. Yeah you found something you're good at plumbing or being a mechanic?

He's probably not interested in it. I was I loved it as a people people don't have a good. their their their their their their their their. their. their. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. I. I th. I. I. I. th. I. I. th. I. th. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. th. I'm. th. to. I'm. to. to. to. I they. to. I wasn't. I wasn't. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. it. I was. I loved it as a people. People do have different brains. Some people are different. Some people are more higher logic, low emotion. That's what I'm saying. I don't know what you're putting in room 102 because you're saying these, it's like this brain's wandering around. Who's your body? And it goes, oh, I'll choose that body. this body. what you're good at and stop chasing a dream. This is the most complicated thing.

You could just put in noisy kids, like Ricky, why is this, this is a brain that... Because someone else would have done noisy kids. There's no point everyone putting in the same thing. But I don't even know what your point is here. What I put in, like, this is a their kids running riot in a restaurant or on a train. The arrogance of them thinking that, oh, aren't that as an if I find that there was someone to blame. I was basically putting in bad parenting or, you know, there was someone, I wasn't going, a brain who wanted to be a plumber, but the plumber didn't. I'm not putting the brain and it's just people, if I had a really good at, if I, if that, th...... th. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, there's, there's there's th. If, there's someone, there's there's someone, there's there's someone, there's someone, there's someone, there's there's there, skill, I'd hope that I'd use it.

If I... It's like... I don't know what you're good at until you try it. Uh, you might be the best drummer in the world. I know, but they're the people I'm having to go at. They're the people who know they can do something, but they don't do it. So people who don't fulfill their own potential. That's a good one. Is that a better point? Yeah, that's what I meant. There's not to do with this duality, this brain, brain versus person. I don't know what that is.

It's a weird thing you've got, a really weird little kink that you've got, that you think this brain is another entity that lives in your head, that you own it and you've got to become the master of it. Like some sort of weird dog. Who am I talking to now? Carl or his brain? We're both listening. Well, I will put in people who don't fulfill their full potential.

Well, I will put in people who don't fulfill their full potential. Slugs are safe, but people who don't fulfill their full potential, you have got into room 102. Got a couple more things for room 102, Carl? My, you know my problem, with my problem with my legs legs are they sort of come alive at night. And what they are doing? Like bed knobs and broomsticks? Yeah. I sort of go to bed, I'm tired and then I sort of nod off for about 40, 40 odd minutes. And then my legs go. Right. And they just, I can't sleep. It's really depressing. I think it's actually affecting me, sort of, health-wise because I'm not sleeping right through the night. It's like I want to sleep. And what does Graham say? What does Suzanne say? Well, she's annoyed with it because she's getting loads of bruises, kicking her.

I did a little bit of research on Restless Leg syndrome when he mentioned it to me. And two little bits of information you'd be interested in Steve. It is exacerbated and made worse by a sedentary lifestyle, lack of activity, lack of exercise, and it can be alleviated with the opposite of that, exercise leading a more active lifestyle, which proves my point. You're like a slug. I do loads of walk and I make sure I do a good walk, if anything, it's because I walk too fast because I tentea too that's thee. The doctor didn't say anything to do with that when I told him that ages ago.

He said it was because I was eating ice cream. I don't know what that means. It's the doctor is the doctor is the doctor is the doctor is the doctor is tha. It's tha. tha. thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. thi. I's thi. I's t t t t t t togeea. togea. t togea. togea. togea. togea. togea. toge who this doctor. Is the same doctor that said your nerves are too long? Yeah. No, it's a different fellow. This is the proper doctor. But yes, I've cut that out and it works for a bit but now it's got to a point where I have to go to a bed and I have my legs outside of the bed. I have to put my feet on the floor. And I have to put my the bed, like normal position, but I have to stick my legs out and feet on the floor. That's insane, you can't sleep like that. Well I do, I nod off and then maybe in the night. When I wake up my legs are back in the bed, so either they get bored or the, or the, uncomfort or whatever, or they eventually get tired. But It's kind of like if I have I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the like the like the like the their their their they their their th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I to to the. to to to to to to to toe. I toe. toe. I toe. I toeee.eeeeeeeeeee. toee. toee. I toe. I toe. I toe. Se it's like they think they're awake and they're being used. The only other thing I can do is if I lie on my front and then have my legs in the

air. Well, I don, whoa! You lie in the front and have your legs in the air. Like that. Say if that's my head. Oh, like that. Like a scuff. Like the front cover of the the the the the the the the of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the the the the the the the the the tholk. tholk. th. thu. thi. thoom. the thoom. thoomp. their. I, thi. I, their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I have their. I have their. I have their. I have their. I have their. I, the the their. I, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. That. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. Wea. Wea. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have the the the I do that, I think if I can get the blood out of my legs, they don't work the same. Is this advice from the doctor or?

No, it was he from the 12th century? No, that doctor didn't tell me to do that. I sort of did it and thought that works. I'll nab it off. Have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, you, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you, have you, you know, put this into the Royal Society of Surgeons? What? Well, this discovery that if you lay... Nice, Mike, or I'll use it. It might not work for everyone. And so crazy leg syndrome is destroying your sleep. Right. It's important to get sleep and if you can't sleep, it drags you down. And my legs, it's, they just come alive at night. It's like they belong to a runner or something and they want to run and I'm going, oh I just want to sleep. But why don't you run? Why don't you go for a run? Because it's late at night? But go for a run in the day. Tire them out in the day. I tire them out in the day. I. So if you were to go you go to bed you got restless leg syndrome if you were to go to a run for a run that would cure it I've looked it up. No because I do have long proper walks. No no but if you know it immediately.

If anything it's like the legs like it and he want more of it it's like a puppy you take it for a walk and it's jumping up and down to sleep, they're fine in the day, whilst I'm sat here, they're not probling me. They're not probably in me. They're not probably in me. They're not probling me! They're not giving me any grief whilst they're not probably me. But when night falls, it's all going to be different. It's like they go, I don't want to go to sleep yet. It's like a little kid, it's a kid who wants to stay to to to to to to to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to stay to the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's thi. It's the their their thi. It's th. It's th. It's their their. It's their their their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not the. It's not thee. It's not. It's not. It's not th the. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's And that's why I just have to let them stay up. Stick them out the bed. I love the fact that you go to bed before your legs. Oh God. It's annoying. I mean it's really... Well I don't know if I can put in your leg syndrome because as I say it can be easily cured. You could get up you can do a bit of exercise you could walk around. Um... I've tried all that doctor. It doesn't. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their. their their. their. to their to to to to to to their to th. their their to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to to to their. to to to to to th. to te. today. te. te. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to their the you could walk around I've tried all that doctor it doesn't work you suggest anything else right there's your problem he's not a doctor no exactly that's what I mean no well I'll put it in I will put it in if you try that next time your legs are outside the bed

they say okay listen I'm gonna go for a run put on a sweatshirt now because he's always late at night I'm not going out it's dangerous we get a bed at half eleven yeah yeah go for an half eleven half eleven half eleven fifteen minutes so are they going in or not no because you're not I'm not sure that you're doing everything for it. What's your next thing to try and get in room 102? It's a tricky one this. Go on. It's people who, um, who think that humans are special. Do you know what I mean? But you think that. I don't, I don't think humans are special. I think some of us are. I think you get the odd one who create something.

And you know, you go, that's amazing. But the way we say the human race is amazing. No, it isn't. A small percentage of it is. There's a load of numnuts. And it annoys me how people say the human race, did this human race? No, it didn't. Let's name them. the the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the th. th. the th. th. the way. We. th. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the stuff that matters. Is that what you think? Yeah, definitely. We just thought, we think we're good and we're not. Well, who matters? Just before we get on to your point. So you're putting in the rest of the human race. No, just people who say that they're good. People who have said that statement that, isn't the human race an amazing thing? So. So. So, so, so, so, so, so? So, so, so, so, so. So, so, so, so, so. So, so. So, so, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so. the. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. So, so. So, so, so. So, so, so. So, so, so, so, so. So, so, so, so. So, so, so, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the human race amazing goes in room 102? Yeah, I'd say don't be stupid.

So most of the human race is going in? Well, have you ever said it? Well, I think all species are amazing. But when people say the human race, they sort of mean. They think what you mean, that you can go... The art, you know, inventors to things that were, you know, that we've... And how is the human race not amazing? Because we don't, we're not needed to keep this planet going. We're an added thing that was added on later. Yeah, that's right, yeah. We were added last.

Yeah. It's like, there's some room left what we do, stooke. But don't get to thi. th. their. their. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. thin. thi. thin. th. th. th. We're not th. We're not th. We're not th. We're not th. We're not th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the their. th. their. th. their. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. said we don't need this let's stop now. We kept mutating and being selected. Yeah I know but sometimes you can keep it's going back to what we were talking about last time about you've got a house you fill it with stuff at some point you've got everything you need you've got your kettle you got your fridge you got it gonna stop to slugs it'll be fine. I'm buying this this. this. this this this this. this this. this. this. this. this. this. the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. We' th. We're th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We're the the the the the the the the the the the. We're the. We've te. We've te. We kept te. We kept te. We kept toy. We kept me te. We kept me toy. We kept me te. We kept me te. We kept me te. We kept me t, you've got your telly. It could have stopped at slugs, it'll be fine. Then you've gone, I'm buying this, but no no nothing, but nothing needed anything. Yeah, it did. The world needed, I mean, okay I tried to put slugs and you didn't allow them in. Yeah. Fair play to the slugs. They got it right. What's this thing that you need anything else? The slug evolved, you know. It... No, but we don't add anything, do we? All we've done since we've been around is mess up the world? That's true. Yeah. So I'm saying we're not needed. I don't know what the last thing was that was needed? That was needed. No, we're not needed. We're not needed. So what was needed. We not needed. We not needed. So. We not needed. So. So. So. We the last. We the last. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We're not needed. We. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We're not needed. We don't. We don't. We don't. We don't. We don't. We don't. We don't. We the last. We the last. We the last. We the last. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We the last. We the last. We the last. We don. We don. We don't. We don't. We don't. the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the What was the last thing that was invented by nature?

It's all true. It's a stupid question. It's not a stupid question. Everything is just happening, it's evolving now. Like looking it like this, you say I think, we think we're important because we just do. Well I don't, but some do. And they're the ones what I get rid of. Another argument with himself. Now we think we're especially. It might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's their. their. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. I. It's just. I. I. It's just. I. It's just. I. I'm. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's the we're specially might be something else going on that's more important. We're in this universe, aren't we? Yeah. They try to make a new universe. What do you mean? There's a machine somewhere? What? A big bang? A big bang? They're making a big bang again. Right. Well that you've got that completely wrong, but they're not trying to create a new world. they're not trying to create thry thry thry thry thry thry that completely completely completely to create to create to create to create to create to create to create to create to create to create to create to create their to create their their to create their their to create their to create to create their to create to create a new their their to create a new to create to create to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create a new to create create create a new to create create a new to create a new world. their. try. their try. their their their their their try. their their their their their the the their try. their. their. try. try. trying to recreate the conditions that happened at the beginning of the Big Bang. They're not trying to recreate a new world. All right, so they, but the world came, but the world came from the Big Bang. Yeah, they're trying to recreate the condition so they can test and they can experiment to see the conditions before.

Yes, it is dangerous. Apparently, there is a danger. A. this is what annoys me is because humans think they special. Oh who made the Big Bang? I'd like me name on that. I don't want to claim it. Why do people always want a bet of someone else it's happened? Let them have it. Well don't you, when you said about progress, you're trying to change time. Yeah but that's not going to harm anyone. A big bang. I just don't think we need, I mean we haven't filled this universe yet, have we? But I don't know what you're saying, you're contradicting yourself. Every other sentence contradicts what you said last time. You do want to fill it, you don't want to fill it, you don't want to fill it.

We don't fill it this universe. We don't need another one. to, I don't round this one yet. We don't know where everything is. Don't create a new one. We're not trying to. No, is that your philosophy? Don't create a new universe. But why are we looking at that? It's a giant research experiment. It's not trying to create a new universe. Why are we looking at that then? Why do we want to go back to day, dot? So that we can better understand the world the world the world the world, the world, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, is, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is, is that, is that, is that, is that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is that, is that, is, is, is their. Is. Is. Is. Is their. Is. Is their, is, is, is, is their. Is their. Is their. Is their, is their. Is their. Is their, is their. Is th. Is thi. Is thi. Is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is thi. Is thi. Is thi. into the position we're in now. If it did indeed start with the Big Bang, what were the conditions? How did it come from nothing into something? That's what we do? We say why and how? And when? And what next? And is it good? You know, I don't mind asking questions. I like asking questions. Ask your question. Where are slugs going? It's just this thing of faffing about with things that they don't know what they're they're they're they're they're their their their... And their. And their. And their. If their. their. I. their. their. their. toe. their. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. their. their. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, their. And, thea. And, toda. And, today. And, today, today, today, today, today, things that they don't know what they do. Okay, right, Carl, you're in charge of the world now.

You are this, you're all-powerful. You're like a god, okay? You can do anything. You go, you call all the scientists, and they go, what do you want of us? Oh, oh, orange-headed one. What the fuck do you want of us? Right. Stop the Big Bang research. Stop it now. Okay, okay, drop you to it. Okay, good. Throw that away. What do you want them to do? The might, the might of every intellect in the world standing before you,

as far as you can see. Hello? Listen everybody. This is what I want you to work on. Go. What do you say? Uh, well I want to come in and poo, how long have they been working on the Big Bang guy there? Forget it, it just, you've got every side. No, I don't just want to come in and poo poo poo that because they're gonna, they've done a lot of research. Hold on. You wanted to stop a minute ago? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to th. thi. tho, to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. that because they're going to, they've done a lot of research. Hold on, he wanted to stop a minute ago. Yeah I know, but you don't just come in, guns are blazing.

I'd say, I'd say, hello everyone. You do anything you want, oh go on in, hello everyone. Hello Carl, Leda. Right, listen, this big bang thing you've been doing. Yeah, well that's just only a few of us that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the that's thatthe of us. We're all here. Yeah. I've dropped AIDS research. I've dropped cancer research. All right, well why have you dropped that? I'm, who's told you to do that? Well, no, we just, well, we're knocked off. They said, you wanted to tell us something. We're all here. their tell. Well, where are you from again. Well, I'm, it doesn't matter. I'm from. I'm from. I'm from. I'm from. th. I'm from. th. I'm from. th. th. th. th. I'm from. I'm th. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. I'm to told. I'm told. Who to told. I'm told. I've told. I've told. Who. I've told. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. W. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to. I've to to to to to to to if you give feminax to an owl. What happens? Well, I'm halfway through it.

I got called away. Look, I'm really busy. What do you want me to work on? Who said they're doing cancer? Hey. Go back. Go back to work. Cheers.

Okay. Okay, the rest of us doing stuff that you think we're finding around with. What would you want us to do? Well, I can't do it all today. Hang on a minute. I was doing AIDS. You just wait a minute. Right, okay, why does cancer get to go back? Are you saying that cancer is a bigger problem than an AIDS? You got back?

So I'm doing, oh, I'm doing restless legs and drag. Can everybody bought the Big Bang people leave? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. A. Well, we've come to an end of episode two of the Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, thank you. Well, we've come to an end of episode two of the series five of the Ricky Javay show, with me Ricky Javay, Stephen Merchant, thank you and Carl Pilkington. All right. I was working on cold sores. Fuck off. I'm doing bunions.