The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Sky1 S1E3 - Jordan (October 8, 2010)

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Karl is somewhat excited at the prospect of visiting Petra, Jordan but first Ricky and Steve decide to send him on a detour to Israel, a place he's less excited about visiting.

The seven wonders of the world, Christ the Redeemer, the Tademeanor, the Taj Mahal, the great pyramids, truly man's greatest achievements, but there's one man who sees him differently. It's like a pile on. Carl Pilkington. I don't know the political correct term, moron, I think. He is a round, empty-headed, chimp-like, mank, moron. Bafoon, idiot. And he's a friend.

He's a typical little Englander and he doesn't like going out of his comfort zone. I just think that it'd be amazing to send him around the world. What we'd like to see is him experience other cultures, other peoples, and see if in any way we can change his outlook on the world. I've been to many exotic places. I genuinely think travel broadens the mind. I want him to hate it. I want him to hate every minute of it for my own amusement. Nothing is funnier than Carl in a corner being poked by a stick. I am that stick and now I have the mic of Sky behind me. Shit. This is one of the funniest most expensive expensive, practical jokes I've ever done, and it's going to be great.

Just let me go home. Jesus Christ! Carl, you may have seen this place in the film Indiana Jones in the last crusade. Petra in Jordan. Extraordinary, ancient city carved into the film Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade. Petra in Jordan, extraordinary ancient city carved into the rock. I suppose it's like cladding for a cave in a way. It's an impressive entrance. I mean I'd love to live there. I'd love that to be in my house, would you? I'd be amazing. What I say about things

like this is you better to be in the cave across from it where you're looking at that you're getting a nice view the people living in this are looking at my old do you know I mean I always think that about nice houses and stuff why you're better off in the council block right because you're looking at a stay at the home you're looking at the niceness yeah but you're living in the grimness we haven't seen the inside for a start. You're saying that's amazing. I'm saying it looks good from the outside. That's the sort of thing that on an estate agent you'll go, let's go and see that.

But then you go, hang on a minute. Why haven't it been sold yet? There's a the shack. The inside is not good. What does it face? Because if there's a shack across the road, I'm not buying it. I'll buy the shack. Right, that's what I'm saying. All right, Carl, it's Steve, mate. Now obviously, I know that you were intending to head to Jordan,

but Rick and I were chatting, we just thought it seemed mad going all to the Middle East with a stopping off in Israel. A holy land car, all right? So we've arranged for you to stop off there. Enjoy it, absorb it, let it get over your skin, mate, report back. Enjoy, enjoy it. Enjoy. Bye. When I started this off, there was no mention of coming to places like Israel. Seven wonders of the world. That would be all right. Where are they?

They're dangerous. Jordan. Oh, what are we doing here? What are we doing here? Israel's bad news. I don't know why we just couldn't go straight to Jordan. See the of this. We went straight there. There was no stopping off. Let's just go to Afghanistan. He was none of that. Straight there. So why are we messing about here?

I mean maybe it's not that bad, but all I know is whenever I hear about Israel, it's problems. That's all I see on the news. They never have a, and finally, you know, a happy story. The world's largest marrow has been grown in Israel. It doesn't happen that. It's never a fun story. It's that it's kicking off again. Sort of feel like that relationship, like that bloke had, you know, the one who climbed a mountain and ended up cutting the rope of his mate. That's what Steve's like is cutting the rope here, is leaving the thinnip. the the the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope. he's cutting the rope here, is leaving me dangling in shit. It's doing my head in this place. Do you know what I mean? You've got bloke walking around with guns. I just feel like I'm constantly on alert. Because it's, there's an edginess to it, isn't they? Oh, me at all the fucker! Go ahead!

Go ahead! Go ahead! Go ahead! Who are you? Hey! He'll go! Hey! Hey!

Hey! the air! I can't breathe, I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Fuckin' elm back. Ah. Fucking out. All right, Carl. Steve here. I forgot to mention to you that me and Ricky have arranged some extreme scenario training.

Obviously you're in quite as a volatile region and you need to be prepared in the event of a kidnapping. What? What? Come know what you're saying. Stop it on me on the air. What's work? So there'll be a team of people who just jump out of you at some point when you least expect it and you know, sort of training on how to react and how to behave. All right, I hope you get this, uh, what happens. Give me a wham- Ah, I'm not a good.

They're good. Be good! Be good! Talk to me! Hang on a minute, I'm talking. Are you English? Yes, talk to me! Who are you?

What do you want? What are you? What are you? I'm just here on a holiday? Yes, on holiday. You are a spy! I'm not a fucking spy! I'm not a fucking spy! You're a fucking spy! Who's there is your manager?

What is the number of here? He sent me mobile? Mobile? What is the number of you? I don't know? I don't even know my mom and dad's. of the Shabak. Who are you giving all this shit? To Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky. What Sky to the Sky? Sky 1. H-D. Well, that's only giving all this shit, too.

Stop! It's pretty, pretty frightening. You know, I mean, the adrenaline I was shaking for about 15 minutes after, you know, that's a... You know, I'm sorry, you know, I mean the adrenaline I was shaking for about 15 minutes after you know that happened but it makes me realize that I haven't got a clue really. You have to know by heart a telephone number of the back office of you that you are going to call them and tell them the secret word that you said the secret word, that mean he knows, he knows that you are under a danger. There's no secret word, nothing to...

I know, I haven't got one. Honestly, I'm not messing around. No one has given me a word. It should be. I don't know what number to call Susanna. I'd have to call Susanna and say, I wouldn't want to panic her straight away, so I'd thin' want thin' want thin' want thin' want thin'n't thin'n't thin'n't thin'n't to to to to to say, I'm to to thin'n't to say, I'm to say, I'm to to to to to to to be to be their, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin' not thin' not thin' not thin' not thin' not thin'n't thin'n't thin'a'n't thin'a'n't tho'n't tho'a'n't tho'n't tho' sanan't tho'n bit of a problem okay I was taken away she'd probably start going what do you mean I go shh quiet I've only got low battery where are you where are you where are you don't show you can hear where where are you don't you know where I mean you know where I'm you know

where you never listen to me you see you keep going on okay where are you I'm in Israel in Israel what you're right you're right you're right you're right you're you you you anything out. You're right? I mean, I'm clueless. But I didn't know I was coming to Israel. The fact that they teach that stuff here means that it does go on. I mean, that wasn't all set up for me, was it? That's proper training, that's what they do. But surely they want they they they want they they want they they they they they they they they they have they they have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have me me to have me to have me to have to have to have to have to have to have me me their to have to have their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to have to have to have to have to have to have to have toooooooooooooooooooooomeless. toooooooooooooooom. their their their their their up, say, we got Carl Pilkington here, who? I don't have no record of him. I don't think it even make the news. I'd probably get in the local paper in Manchester if it was a light newsday. Carl Pilkington, Manchester, it's stuck in a hut somewhere in Israel. Go, go, go, go! Go!

Go! Don't! Go! Go! Check the other side! Go to the door! Stay there! Good! Okay! How you feel? Nackered. Yeah?

Yeah. Did that look good? This guy is waiting for you in the corner? Yeah. I don't know if I saw the gun or not, though. I just, it looks like it's from that's, that, thi, th.. th. It's from, th. It's from, th. It's from, th. It's from, th. th. It's from, th. th. It's like it's from, th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to- to, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go, th. Go, th. Go, th. Go, th. Go, th. Go, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's from, th. It's from, th. It's from, th. It's from, th. It's from, to-a'''er. It's to-a'er. Go, to-a'er, to-a'er, to-a'er. Go, to-a'er. Go, thi. Go, thi. Yeah. I don't know if I saw the gun or not though. I heard just, he looks like it's from Liverpool, I thought he's up to no good. Yes. He looks like a scouser.

What is this all about? You know, I thought it was on my way to see Petra in Jordan. The Plainlands, I'm in Israel. Not Jordan, you know, where the wonder is, Israel. Yesterday I spent a day getting a bag pot over my head. And then you turn around and say, oh, you might need that, you know, with being in Israel. Well, don't have me in Israel then. Then it can't be that dodgy, can it? Because look at all the tourists.

They sort of relax me a little bit, I think. Because you don't queue up to go into a danger zone. But there is a lot I can't work out. At the end of the day I'm just knocked that into religion. Do you know what I mean? It doesn't excite me. I don't need it in my life. But because I'm here, you know Steve sort of saying well you might as well see some of it. I said, well, like what? It's all the whaling wall. It's the wa it's the wa it's really, it's really, it's really, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the wailing that, it's just the whaling the wailing that, it's just not that, it's just not, it's just not that in that in that in that into that into that, I'm just not that, it's just not that, it's not that, it's not that, it's not in that, it's not in that, it's not in that, it's not in that, it's not in that, it's not in that, it's not in that, it's not in that, it's not in that's not in that's not in the wailing the wailing the wailing the whaling the whaling the whaling the whaling the whaling the whaling the whaling that's really th. It's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really popular over there. So I'm going to go and look at a wall. This is all new to me. It's not like I've come here with any idea of what this is about. I've no idea. They're all seeing to be doing different things, you know. Some are kissing

the wall. He's nodding at it. People sticking bits of paper in. And there's bits of rubbish in there. There's some sort of one of those insurance things, aren't they? It's like a form of insurance or something stuck in that one. So they even get junk mail. There's junk mail on the wall. It reminded me of like a people who write to Jim will fix it, you know, you're not going to get an answer, or not everyone anyway, to waste of time. I always think about an alien. If an alien landed and for some reason they picked me and they go, Carl, you're our leader whilst we're here. Why do people do this in Israel? I know. How do people do this in Israel? I don't know. How do you

explain that? It's not what I thought it would be, Jerusalem. I had this vision in the head of a place where you know, Jesus was knocking about and a donkey. That's been shattered now. And everywhere you go, there seems to be some other religious people coming out of the wood somewhere. It's like, it's like Pac-Man, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? You go down a little alley thinking this will be quiet down here and a load of stuff comes at you. Nothing's ever easy, is it? You know, Steve said he's sorting me out with a lift to get back to the hotel. Well, that's nice of him. And then this lot turned up.

And then this lot turned up. My whole life is all I want to do. I want to go around this car or another car every day and make people happy. Why not? We're doing traffic tram. We're doing traffic tap. We're nice enough lads and that, but doing that is dangerous and that's dangerous. But doing that is dangerous. And there add more danger to me, little trip

by dancing about and a busy road. You know how many smiles we're gaining right now? We could be saving, we're saving lives right now. Somebody that's maybe depressed, he wanted to commit suicide. Now he's smiling. Now he doesn't want to be smiling. She's not smiling. Ask me a sticker. She's terrified. th sticker? Yeah. See one, put it on the box. She's terrified.

She's terrified. She's going for God's sake. She went like that and locked it all. All right. The lights are changing. Lights, lights! Lights! Lights!

Lights! We're not getting out again. Where are you going? And it took ages, didn't it? You know, I might as well have got on a bus. You know, at least a bus has less stops than they do. I mean, every hundred yards they were getting out and having a dance. What is it? Come on with us, come on with us. Just for a bit.

Two minutes. Two minutes. Two minutes, two minutes. On a corner. Come pick a dangerous spot. This is the most dangerous place. Yeah I felt a bit bad, I'll jumping out and legging it, but I don't like dancing do her. I don't dance at weddings, so I'm not going to start doing it on a dual carriage way, am I? I mean, they're right, is that there is a lot of misery in the world. But that doesn't

help me, that's making me worse. They're causing all that piping. You know what I mean? Someone's trying to get to hospital. The grand's dying. They're in the road. Heard, heard, hey, heard, get out the fucking road. Get out the fucking road. I spoke to Steve this morning. And he said, oh, get yourself over to Bethlehem, see where baby Jesus is born.

A bit of a problem there, I found out it's in Palestine, which that's another place I've heard nothing but bad news about. Plus I've got to get over to massive war to get to it. It's just ugly and it goes on for miles. I mean they're not messing about, are they? I kind of thought, I bet there's some way you can sneak under it or over it or but there's no way. Well you've got to call London before we go over mate. That's good. The man in charge of making sure I'm safe. Record your message, please hatch at any time. All right Richard, it's Carl. About to go over the border.

If you don't hear from us in four hours, it's all gone tits up. I mean that's Richard, that sums him up. He's always on the phone. So of all the people to have as our emergency number, you know, calling 9-9, you know, calling 9 9, I th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th, th. th. th, th. th, th. th, th, th, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th thi thi than than than than than thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th thi than He sums him up. That checkpoint was a bit weird, on it? I mean, I sort of felt guilty even though he hadn't done anything. I've got a Palestinian fellow meeting called Case. Yeah, but I think I'm meeting it. I'm caes. How are you? How are you?

How are you? How was it? Depressive. Honestly, I didn't think it would have that effect on me. I'm not that sort of person, really. Guys, how are you? How are you? How was it? Depressing. Honestly, I didn't think it would have that effect on me. I'm not that sort of person, really. You know, if you're passing here every day, it's not depressing. If you're waking up every morning and seeing this ugly, concrete stuff in front of your eyes,

then it's depressing. Be my guess. This is my car. Safe? Huh? Safe? Yeah, of course it's safe. I have insurance. Are these for us? Yeah, it's a gift from the Holy Land. It makes holy music.

I don't think that when I'm playing it. See, there's nothing like that at home. There's nothing like that anywhere, Honour. No, we have a congestion charge that caused a little bit of fuss. If you drive into London, you have to pay eight pounds. Everybody was like, this is an outrage. But it's nothing compared to this. Honestly, it's costing the people more than eight pounds, man.

This is costing them them them them them their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the people more than 8 pounds, man. This is costing them their future. Is it going to be busy in there? Well, check it out. Did you close you Dell well? Yeah. Is anyone going to nick it? I mean, it's a religious story. Yeah, it's only people. Lots of cops, so don't worry. People who are into religion, shouldn't be knicking cars. He's a big deal then. Why are we bringing these, eh? Because the shepherds, and the shepherds came to the site of birth carrying flutes.

What's your head, man? Anything you need, you can ask us. The flute says, no, you cannot. The flute says, and the shepherds came to the site of birth, carrying flutes. Whatever you cannot, you can't carry it. This is where Jesus was born. Right there? Right there. On this rock.

Are you allowed to touch it? You can touch it, you can kiss it, you can... I think that's all, can do with it. How do they know that? It's an order of tradition saying that this is the place. But does Jesus want us to come here and see where was he born the stones the stones the stones the stones the stones this is the place. But does Jesus want us to come here and see where was he born and touch the stones and go crying and blah blah blah I don't think so. I can't with you or not.

Little donkey. I'd say the only time I've had religion in my life was playing little donkey at school. I mean mate Wayne, he was Catholic and he said, oh do you want to go and do this? And I was like, piss off. And he said, right, he just swore, if you don't come with me to church, I'm going to tell your ma'am that he told me to piss off. So I had to go with him. And in the end I got chucked out for bouncing the tennis ball sort of in the church. That's been about it. But I think I got more of a feeling from that wall than I did from where Jesus was born. Yet people are going in there sort of like, oh, you want to go over there? That's where you're going to have a tear. It's depressing. I've been here four days now and we're only just going to the wonder.

But I was looking in the guidebook and we passed the Dead Sea this way. It's just been nice for me to have a bit of a restful day. Ricky doesn't even need to know. It looks quite good. I'm not a great swimmer. The good thing with the Dead sea is you just float about in it. It's like loads of salt in it. It's another experience, isn't it? It's one of life's little wonders. A proper wonder, a natural wonder, which is a sort I like, really. It's not too busy either. I thought it would be a right tourist trap.

This is alright this. Something that I read in the book. This is the lowest place on the world. I know we don't normally have sort of information on this programme and that, not proper stuff anyway, but that's a little bit. It's the lowest place. This is, you can't get lower information on this program and that, like not proper stuff anyway, but that's a little bit. It's the lowest place. This is, you can't get lower than this. I don't know why. I don't even know if it's true, but that's what I've read. So I might as well give it a go. Everybody else seems to be doing it. Right. Whatever I'm doing, I've got to do it quick because that is so hot. I can't really do you know?

Look at that! I don't even have to like do anything. This is Ace. Call what's going on in your, with your belly button, mate? What the fuck is that? Is that a fag end? Oh, was that... Is that someone's gos?

It looks like someone's god in here. Fucking hell it is as well. Phone. Come on here. Hello. What's going on? I'm just in the dead sea. Floating around? Yeah, just floating around with someone's gos.

There's old people in here just clearing the throats and that. I just had some in my belly button. Oh that is disgusting. That's what's floating above. Christ knows what's floating under me. Maybe that's why I'm floating around. 90% fucking... 90% guitar. I wasn't going to say taste it, see how salty it is, look, don't. It's nice though.

It's good this. But Carl, get out of the Dead Sea, put some clothes on and do some fucking work. You know what a holiday? I've been doing work for four days. This is an experience still. It's good for the program. I'm explaining to people how it's loads of salt in it. You float about, it's good for your skin. It's not good for your skin and you're covered in old people's vomit and sick and flair and snot. I've never seen that on any Alan Wicker show or what's pailing. This is the truth. I got into the dead sea, oh there's old people causing. There is. This is not a trouble show.

You sounded a bit pissed off that was having a rest, didn't he? Where am I going, Petra? I can go. I can go. Yeah, pass-up. What are you doing? Where am I going? Petra? Yeah, go. Go. Go. Yeah, it's good to be in Jordan. But we could have been here days ago, don't we?

Petra's only down the road. We could drive there. But Ricky's come up with this idea that, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you down the road. We could drive there, but Ricky's come up with this idea that, you know, I meet a local bloke called Mohammed who's got a camel. You know, how long is that going to take? My friend. Hello. We need to cross the stroat.

And how many hours? How many hours that way? At least 48 hours, two days, full days of the camels. Fulking out! Hold here. Brrrh. Brrrh. Do you like some music?

Do you like some music? What kind of music you have? It's just music, no singing. When I'm a little bit stressed, it calms me. It's a lady sing. There's no singing, it's just a man on a clarinet. Ah, it's nice, isn't it? Ah, it's nice, isn't it?

Very nice. Very nice. You teach me English song, I'll teach you a Bedwin song. How's it my friend? How's it, my friend? How's your ass now? How's your ass now? Fucking hell. Look, you can see up here here it's going on for miles. It just doesn't make sense, does it? Why do people live

in the middle of nowhere when you've got to travel that sort of distance to get to somewhere? Because he was saying some people have to do that once a week to nip to the shops and they get a big order and then carry it all the way back. Move then, move closer to the shop or open a shop. What's it like where we're staying tonight? Maybe we found a Bedwood tents, maybe be alone in the desert in the sand dunes. Sometimes the Bedwins they move, I don't know. You must have a plan. This is desert. You don't know what the desert keep for us. We'll see. This camel's knackered.

This camel's knackered. Keep stopping every 10 minutes. I could be a good camel. It's just sort of moaning, isn't it? Ahhhh. Fucking super good. We're going to carry it now by the car. Yeah. That's all weird though when it was like a breakdown, a proper breakdown in a desert. They turn up, stick it on the back.

No, it's knack and it's going to cost you. But to be honest, it's a bit of luck that, because I've had enough. I'm up to hear with this. Camels have been around for years. The ships of the desert. That's what they're known as. We've ended up with Titanic. As long as it's not a major gale, I'm sure it'll be all right. He's got 14 kids.

So, you know, me staying is hardly an issue, is it? You see how's the camera stand up? Yeah, he's happy, not me. You just strap the camera stand out? Yeah he's happy that me. You just strap the bag to its head. Get in there. Let's get this done. Get the day done. Get to bed. These are all his sons. Yeah. All sons. But I'm not allowed to see the mother. No. No. At all. Not in Sello. Thanks for having us. No way. That's why the... You see, that's why the house is covered.

But say if I go to a toilet, a knock, to-do, to, I'm in here. She comes out, I see her. That's not her fault, that's my fault. So what happens then? This is by mistake. No problem. That's fine, okay. Mr. Muhammad said, He said, oh, they don't get many guests here,

so... It's a bit polite. But there's a big pot or something in there that looked like some sort of milk. I'm not seeing any cows, so I don't know where it's come from. I'm not a fan of milk anyway. It's not being rude. It's just I don't want to eat it. I don't want to get ill. I'm surprised they don't want me to get ill. Because we're all sharing that little toilet. I'm in the middle of nowhere, honest to God, it's moonlight.

Now hold on, how did you get there? Did you go by camel? Eight hours on a camel. I've got a couple of big fallen hump, don't you? Well, I'll tell you, it's not funny. I mean, I reckon I've done some damage. It was just long and it was hot. That is quite a good that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's quite a good description of a desert. It's not that's what I'm saying though. There's nothing to look at it. It's not like it's worth doing so many hours.

After half an hour you've seen it. Yeah, but Carl, I think I can break this to you now. This wasn't for your amusement. This was for my amusement. And if you're having a bad time, Brampton I'm a Dow and Camel, being dehydrated, with your testicles being battered, that's good entertainment. For me, and Sky 1 viewers. It's not, though. So this is what I'm giving back to society.

You are my gift to the rest of the world. Hang on a minute. Something, so much. rest of the world. Hang on a minute. Something's just fucking run up my leg. Can I call you tomorrow something? Yeah, I'll see you later. See you later. What the fuck was that? Good bye. See ya. Fucking hell. Can we just eat and go to bed. Look at this. Don't put too much of that on my bit. I can't have too much of that. That's the tank. The what?

The tank. It's tank of the goats. You have it? No. Why? Come on. Eat more. It's a meat. It's not thank you. Eat more. It's a meat.

It's a meat. It's not a meat. What bit is it though? That's not meat. This is the eye. I can't eat it. I'll tell you now, I've got a very bad gag reflex. Now if I eat that and I start gagging, that doesn't look good either.

You'll think I'm rude. This is a weird night out, isn't it? What time do we normally go to sleep? Tonight he has a guest. So what does that mean? And he couldn't go sleep early. Oh, he can't, honestly. I'm so tired. I'm shattered. I just want my bed, but you know, what can you do? And with a family who doesn't understand me, I don't understand them, you're cooking food I don't like.

Well, it's been hard work today, aren't it? Are we actually going to get to Petra tomorrow? Or what? I just want to see the wonder today. Petra, that's what I'm here for. I'm not in any mood for messing about. I didn't sleep that well last night. I had a rough day yesterday, ten hours on the back of a camel in roasting heat. I've just spoke to Mohammed. He said, we're not even quarter away there yet. I mean, does he think I'm going to be getting on a camel again? How are we going to get there? We could have drove on this, but they broke down yesterday. Why can't we just get in that one?

No, we have to wear a camel. We don't have to. I don't need to get on a camel again. But we are not having the way down. The program's an hour long. We've done eight hours of filming on a camel. Okay. You do to God. We've talked about this. I'm bored of arguing with you. If you're not listening, I'm not listening. I'm not going on a camel again. I'm not going on a camel again. Why? I'm not going on a camel again. I'm not going on a camel again. We have one day more. Okay, we can go with this car. So how long will it be by car?

It's totally hours. I'm just sick of camels. I mean, you've got to prefer this, haven't you? So much nicer. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. I'll be in a good mood then.

When we see Petro and I'll go, oh wow. Amazing. I'll be in a good mood then when we see Petra and I'll go, oh wow, amazing. So we're in now, this is the start of it, is it? We are now in the beginning of the city of Petra. Okay, my friend, I have to leave you now. Nice to meet you, Carlin. See you again, yeah. See you again again. Please key in the commentary number. One, welcome to Petra, a city half as old as time. The word Petra is Latin for rock. The city dates back to 300 BC when it was known as a theme.

He just said that, welcome to Petra, he said, Petra is Latin for, um, I forgot now. This is a problem with this, it's too much to tack in, I mean, I want, I didn't come here for a Latin lesson. I just want to know where of the ancient world wonders and the most famous monument in Petra. The word in Arabic means treasury. You may recognize the facade. It is a site where the movie Indiana Jones and the Lost Crusade, among others, was filmed. Hang on a set. Hang on a set, hang on. Hello?

All right. All right. What's going on? I've, uh, I'm just, just stood in front of the Wonder. That was a waste of time last night, staying with the bedwins. Why? He gave me lamb's eyes to eat. I slept on hard floor all night, so I feel like shit.

That's how I'm feeling. It looks all. I's that's how I'm feeling. I mean it looks all right I'm sure if it was in a better mood I'd big it up. I'm basically in the middle of a load of rock and someone's carved it out and it is amazing but I don't know what what more there is to say than that. Well I've got a little surprise for you you're spending the night in a cave Carl ton... What? What? It's funny. But... Hello?

Steve. It's Carl. I've just spoke to Ricky. He said, oh, you're staying in a cave tonight. Yeah. What's that about? Because I don't think he's taking this serious. Well, no, I remember you were chatting about it before you went there, you said, oh, you'd rather be living in a hole looking at a palace, because living in a palace, it was all about the pub.

Yeah, but I didn't, I didn't, I didn't... That's what the that's what Carl wants, best clearly exactly what you want. No but I didn't literally mean that's what I'd like. You only see one building, haven't you so far? The ancient sea of Petra is huge, spread over a last area. You've got to explore it, you know, see what else is that mean, I mean, I'm not thinking about it, I'm a, I mean, I'm not thinking about it, I'm a. How can I stand there and go and go and go and go and go and go and go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and go, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the a, the, the, the, the, the, the ancient, the ancient, the ancient, the ancient. The, the ancient. The, the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a, the a the a, the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a tan, today, you, today, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're the a the a today, you, the a the a the a the a the a any mention the wonder Carl. I mean I know this... Well I'm not thinking about it, am I? How can I stand there and go,

oh what a beautiful bit of work? When in the back of my head you're going, Carl, you're living in a cave tonight. I can't focus on that. Oh, God. Steve said I've got to find a fella called I'm In a long day. How are you? How are you? How you doing? So what do you put down as an address? Jordan, Patra, that's all? That's never going to get to you. Yeah, that's it. And the postman would know. Yes. Yeah, you know it. And everything you order

always gets to your house? Yeah. They a cave. I can't believe that because I order stuff and get it delivered. Sometimes it doesn't turn up. And I've got a postcode. That's amazed me more than the wonder. Yeah. That, that you can get post delivered. I can't believe that. What facilities are in the cave? We put the mattress, we make the fire and we sleep wherever between the sky and the land, not like the city. Ricky Cohn says you're staying in the cave starts laughing. And I pictured the sort of caves you get in Wales where it's all sharp, sharp edges, really damp and the sea comes in at some point in the night.

I get here, decent size, dead warm, dead cozy, nice toucest with the candles. I tell you, I've seen houses that are worse than this. I think I can sort of fit into this way of life. It is like holiday, every day. Nice little holiday home. Eating like this, having a drink, suits me down to the ground this. Ricky always says I'm a bit, you know,

a caveman, and he hum't really evolved. He says the shape of my head, and the way my eyebrows come out a bit. Maybe that's it, maybe I was born a bit late. I don't know. So we haven't all evolved, have we? It's just a few of us. I haven't got a clue off the time. I turn the tap on the still and I go, how has water coming out of that. I'm lucky because someone else has come up with her. But at the end of the day, if stuff was left down to me, I'd still be living in here.

If I was lucky, you know, I don't know if I could come up with this. He just was saying how they used to do it. He said to put hole in the rock, stick like a tree trunk in it, put water in and the wood expands. Is that what you were saying? Makes it all bigger. There's no way I'd come up with that. I won't come up with that now. And yet they did that three and a half thousand years ago. slept all right once I got off really. There's a cat mooching about now and again, wandering in. I suppose that's the problem when you haven't got a front door in it. That was a good night. Best night since I've been here. I'd do it again. You know, whilst I've been in this part of the world, there's not many things that have happened that I'd say I'd do that again. But that, I would. So yeah, I loves it. Really,

really smart. I can imagine living at this time. I can picture myself. It's coming out of a little old, just with a club, thinking what am I going to do today? And it's easy to invent stuff back then because it was nothing else about. So anything you needed, you come up with it, what dry my hands, I've just washed my hands, do a towel. Everything, anything you think of. This soup's hard to eat. What spoon? Do you know what I mean? Well you can't, you think of something now. You try and come up with something now that you need now. Came up with a see-through toaster. Do you know because you always do that you're thinking is it done yet and you have to keep pressing the spring and then then you end up breaking it because the thrown th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the of the throwne. You're to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're the. You're the. You're the. You're the. the. the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. You're the open. See through toaster. Went online, typed it in. It's already been invented.

Dragon's Den back then would have been a piece of piss. Everybody who came in, that's a bloody good idea. Get it made. 30. Adir, Adir, the summit of Jabaladir is Petra's grandest monument of all. Adir, the name is the Arabic word for monastery. Do take advantage of this moment and immerse yourself in the magnificence and mysticism of this historic place. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. I can't even go, inn it? That's ridiculous. I mean that's useless, isn't it? That's ridiculous. I mean, that's useless, isn't it? Who's put them there? That's, I mean, look. But my point is, you're sat in there, and that's your view over there. If you look here, point proven. You're better off living in the old, looking at the palace than living in the palace looking at the hole, aren't you? So Ricky and Steve can say my knob, I think that's be point proven, isn't it? But I wasn't just talking about buildings, I mean in life, even being a good looking

person or an ugly one. In a way, you better off being the ugly one and you get to look at nice things. You're looking at the nicer looking people. Doesn't matter about being ugly, how often do you look at yourself anyway? Same thing. Be the ugly one, Look at the nice one. What's that? Who owns that? Why is a dog so high up? It's not going to show up that dog, is it? Oh, fuck me, Jesus! You know. La-a-la-la-a-la-a-l-a-la-a-l-a-la-a-la-a-a-la-a-a-a-la-a-a-a-t-a-a-t-a-a-t-a-t.