The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Sky1 S1E7 - Peru (November 5, 2010)

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Karl is relieved that this trip is his last, but is worried that Ricky and Steve will do something monumentally outrageous to end the series on a high note. Karl has never heard of the monument he is to visit next: Peru's Machu Picchu.

The Seven Wonders of the World. Christ the Redeemer. The Taj Mahal. The Great Pyramids. Truly man's greatest achievements. But there's one man who sees them differently. If that was on my road, the council would be on it. They'd go, get that down. It's a death trap.

LAUGHTER Carl Pilkington. Is this for the hunting or is she just a bit forward? I don't know the politically correct term. Moron, I think. He is a round, empty-headed, chimp-like, mank moron. Buffoon idiot. And he's a friend.

He's a typical little Englishman and he doesn't like going out of his comfort zone. I just think it would be amazing to send him around the world. What we'd like to see is him experience other cultures, other peoples, and see if in any way we can change his outlook on the world. I want him to hate it. I want him to hate every minute of it for my own amusement. Nothing is funnier than Carl in a corner being poked by a stick. I am that stick. And now I have the might of Skye behind me.

Shit! Shit! This is one of the funniest, most expensive practical jokes I've ever done. And it's gonna be great. Just let me go home! Jesus Christ! First discovered by Western eyes in about 1911. Machu Picchu in Peru. Oh! Truly one of the Seven Wonders.

You must be very familiar with that. Breathtaking. I haven't heard of that. Never heard of it. Good view. Good view, important. Erm, bit out of the way. It's accessible by an 11-hour trek through the mountains. That's not accessible, is it?

That's true! That wouldn't cut the mustard Well, that's not accessible, is it? That's true! That wouldn't cut the mustard on location, location, location, would it? You can't live like that, can you? You can't... I mean, people moan at me. Delivery drivers moan at me. And I look just because I'm on a second floor. So if you're up there, they're going to have a right whinge on by the time they get to you.

You don't seem that fazed by the fact you've got to do an 11-hour trek. I like a walk. I'll probably see loads of better things on the way than I do when I get there. Camping. Yeah, camping's all right, you know. I mean, it's quite relaxing. You're out in the open air. Quite like the idea of that.

The only thing that's annoying with camping is a toilet situation. Up here? India, hole in the ground. It is better. It can't possibly be better. Why not? In China, where I thought they were advanced,

it still had a hole in the ground. That's my main panic that I've had about this trip. How am I going to do it in the woods? I made this. A little camping chair. Put a little hole in it. So it doesn't rip anymore, I just put staples round it. I don't know if that's a good idea or not, because I haven't had any bear ants on it yet.

It's only 8 quid. Pop that up. Sit there like that. on it yet. It's only eight quid. Pop that up. Put my toilet roll in the drink holder once I've used it a bit. Looks alright, doesn't it? I mean it's the last one, isn't it? It should be the easiest one because in my head I'm going it's over now. So no matter how bad it gets, I think that'll keep me going. Not happy with this. Seriously not happy with this. It's funny how the director's gotten a different one. I'm not getting on this.

Why is it landing on water? There's enough land here. Chop some of the trees down. There's shitloads of land. Make another runway. Why are we landing on this? Thought we were just going to smash your peach shoe. I've got to go on a plane. And apparently there's smoke here. Look, they've got the engine open. Is it easily sorted? You fix it?

No. You can't fix it? Don't worry, it's OK. It's OK. Bit of banging. We get on it, met the captain, he's called George, which isn't a name that pilots normally have. When you hear them on the speaker thing, it's normally the surnames they use and stuff in it, sort of the posh sounding. I've never heard, all right, Georgia, that isn't a pilot's name, that. Oh, fucking hell. Whoa! What's he doing? Every time I looked over, he seemed to have his hand on something and this fella next to him sort of grabbing it going, don't do that, and he's sort of looking like, well, I think that's why they have doors on planes,

so you can't see the captain. It's nothing to do with security, it's just so you can't see the devils driving it. Cause he puts you on edge, doesn't he? And then he looks again, he's got butties out. Sat there having his lunch. It's only an hour flight, have it before we go, or when we get there.

So it's just little things like that that niggle me. So what, are we landing down here? So it's just little things like that that niggle me. So, can we land down here? Where's the wonder? Fucking hell. Oi, oi, oi. Hello, mate, Steve here. Hope you had a good flight and everything. And just wanted to let you know about a very slight change of plan.

Ricky and I were having a chat and we sort of agreed that it seemed a bit mad for you to go straight to Machu Picchu. So we thought you could just make your way there through the jungle. Just follow the Amazon. I think it's only about 1000 kilometres south to get to the wonder. Obviously we wouldn't leave you stranded. We've arranged for a local jungle guide called Will to look after you. He's going to sort you out with a place to stay and everything. Again, as always, very jealous of you, my friend. Have you enjoyed? Bye.

Don't look this way. It just annoys me because they always say to me, you always come across pissed off and all that and people would love to do what you're doing. But they wouldn't, cos I'm constantly on edge. I haven't slept for about 30-odd hours. So... You ever been to the jungle before?

No, but why would I? Why would I go to the jungle? I've never watched Tarzan and thought, I'd like to go there on holiday. He never looks great. It's the last one. I know, but that's what worries me. It's the last one. That's part of the problem, though, innit,

cos Ricky and Steve are going, let's go out on a bang. SIGH Things are getting on my tits already. What did you make of the hammers on? Is this it? I don't want to see all of it, so get that out of your head. I mean, it's no different to the Thames, is it? Is there a nice place where we're staying, Will?

There's a jungle here. We're staying in the jungle. It's getting to the end of the day. I've got to go in the jungle. I've got to try and sleep in the jungle. Careful. You have to watch where you're walking. It has many species of dangerous things. I walk like scorpions, tarantulas, spiders, ants. Fuck!

Fucking hell! Fuck! Fucking hell! I want to go home. Now we are very lucky to find the light at the moment. Lucky? We're lucky. We are lucky. Come on. Hang on. Fucking hell!

What do you it over there. Where you found what? On that? Yes. Can't be bothered. What is this about? How do you know where you're going, though? There's no path or anything.

You're just chopping away. This is the place where we stay. We'll be resting tonight in here. This is a good place, is it? You'll be resting tonight in here. This is a good place, is it? Yeah. What did you make of the campsite? It's not a campsite. What are you on about?

Campsite. This isn't a campsite. I've been to campsites. They have toilets, showers, maybe a little arcade. A fella on a, you know, on the front gate, checking you've got a pass to come in. To them, at home, watching it, they're going, don't know what all the fuss is about.

We've seen this time and time again. I am knackered, and I don't know how to get that across to them at home. I'm pissed off. Haven't filmed a little bit so far. I know, but I tell you what, I tell you what we could do, like Attenborough does. He's got it right. He does a little thing at the start going, here I am in the Amazon. You never see him again.

It's all voiceover. I bet he lands and they go, keep that fucking plane engine running. Here I am in the Amazon. Then he fucks off, back off, back off home and he's sat in a studio and there he was with a frog. Where? We never see him anymore. He's never there with a frog in his hand. It's always like a big close-up. You don't know where he is. He's at home. I'm sat in a toilet that I've made,

that I know I'll be sat here later, having a shit, thinking what am I doing? What am I doing? I don't understand what they're thinking. I thought Ricky and Steve were sending me to Machu Picchu, so why am I in the middle of the Amazon now? How was last night, then? I can't stay here again. I can't... I can't...

Ah, fucking shit! I can't stay here again. I've got to move on. And I can't do the tent again. So, lads, we'll forget this. At, like, one o'clock in the morning, two o'clock in the morning, I'm pissing into an Evian bottle. This wasn't the plan. This wasn't the plan.

Nothing makes sense in here. That's the other thing, nothing makes sense. Now, that's how much water I had last night. There's a little bit left in the bottom there. There you go. So how have I managed to piss that much? It doesn't add up. I've got to piss more than I've drank. And look at the colour of it. That isn't healthy. I'm not a doctor, but I've never pissed like that before. I know I'm not that old yet,

but I reckon this is the lowest point of my life. These are alright, these. I mean, I'd eat a rodent if there was just nothing else but it's hard to sort of sit over there and tuck down, you know, tuck into a rat when I know I've got beans and sausage here. It just seems a bit da to see that. The deal is she does the cooking, I wash up. I've got a dishwasher now, so I don't really do anything. Just have a wander about. Basically I'm just showing you a tree now, there's nothing there, don't be thinking that green thing is anything. Anything, no that's just a bit of mould.

Do we actually need these creatures for the world to go on? Right that one there I'm talking about, the one with its head down. Right there you go, it's walking over there. And it'll wrestle with another one. Just started a fight, so that's a bit of a hooligan, that one. Everywhere you look, there's stuff whizzing round your ears all the time, or crawling up your arm, or... I'm just going to get bitten a lot.

A little stick insect I've just found on a tree. I think there's always something on the arm. Look at that little fly sat there as well. Imagine it. Imagine being a stick insect walking about. You'd be forever going, is that once his name? And you'd have to walk all the way up to the twig. You know, it's just a bloody twig again. It doesn't work.

She looks nice going over there. All right, love, oh, it's just a stick. It's hard. It's a hard life to be a stick insect. What's that tree all about? Trees, dangerous trees. I was worrying about scorpions and spiders and shit. Fucking tree with knives coming out of it. It's nice coming out of it.

I feel like I've seen the jungle now. I've had a route around, I've seen all the insects and that, so I might as well just have another look at the Amazon. Everyone seems to make a fuss about it, saying, oh, the Amazon's nice and everything. What I saw of it the other day, I wasn't that impressed, But Will wants me to go out again, so I might as well, cos there's nothing else to do. There it is. Will that come over? Huh?

Do you know what a man did? Do you know what a man did? I had no idea they had dolphins swimming about. Do you like dolphins, Carl? Erm... Yeah, they're all right. It sort of gets on my nerves how people say they're really intelligent, cos I've never seen any of them do anything that's blown me away.

I don't know, maybe it's just the way they get raved about so much by people saying they're intelligent, that's what annoys me, cos everyone's always calling me a div. So the fact that they're going, yeah, Carl's an idiot, but they're going, yeah, dolphins are bright. That's all I mean. There we go. Is it all right? Woo-hoo!

Be careful! Shit! Whoa! It's the waves. I've got to use ginger crinkle crunch. It tastes even better here. Come on. What? I want to show you something. It tastes even better here.

What? Come on here. What? Come on. Is that Will? I have something to show you. I think you never see that. Do you see this kid? Fucking hell. I think he wants to eat something. Did you say it's poisonous or not?

No, it's not poisonous at all. There's badger, but it's not poisonous. It's not poisonous. There, there. So these are the ones that wrap around you, and then you sort of breathe in. What's that? I'm going to stand over here a minute, because... Why?

You are in the jungle. I know I am. I wish I wasn't. This is ridiculous, this. Nothing's normal, is it? I had two minutes over there, sat by a fire having a biscuit and a cup of coffee. Ha ha ha. And all this is going on.

I shook it a bit, biscuit. Well, what? That's an it biscuit. You're an it biscuit. How do you know? Have you ever tried feeding one of them a biscuit? No, they eat them frozen. Listen to me. Watch this. Watch this. What? Biscuit? OK. Can you get a light on it? Yeah, there's something here.

What a waste of the biscuit really. The noise is doing me head in. There's different insects going off all the time. I mean, they say most of the jungle is nocturnal. But I'm not surprised. You're always to be awake through the night. There's no chance of getting any sleep here, even if you're not a nocturnal animal. Let's face it with this racket, I'm not going to get any sleep, am I?

All right, mate? How's it going? Erm, good. Well, you're heading upstream. We've arranged for you to visit a little village. Erm, the locals there are expecting you. Erm, and you should know to be extra polite, cos they used to be cannibals. That's true. All right, mate, see you later. Come on.

Not a holiday, all right? Is he having a laugh? What does he mean, they used to be cannibals? I mean... What are they doing now, then? What happens if it's just... I'm like a rare delicacy that triggers something off? I haven't had a white man for years. If we knew it, they'd all have given it all this.

Hey, hey, hey, round the fire, me sat in a pot. I haven't had a white man for years. If we knew it, they'd all have given it all this. Hey, hey, hey, round the fire, me sat in a pot. What am I going to do? You worrying too much? Worrying too much. Just going to stay with some cannibals, make you feel, you know, feel at home. OK. I haven't got a problem.

If I got hungry, I'd quite happily eat... ..human. There's no different. They say it tastes like pork anyway. Let's say if they took the lid off and it was just a foot, and they sort of said, have a bit, I'd almost be a bit like, I want to know a bit about the person first. In the same way that we do with chickens, everything's got to be, is it organic?

Where's this been brought up? What field has it been on? What's it been eating? I'd be a bit like that. I'd want an organic foot. I'd want to know the history of it. Did he have athlete's foot? How often has Shane G's sought? Just a little bit of something that goes, yeah, this is a nice foot, it's worth eating. All right, didn't wave back, so that's, they don't know what that means or they hate me already, I don't know. Nothing, nothing again. I'm not doing it again, it's embarrassing. It's like asking someone's name three times and not hearing them.

I'll be smiling even. This is proper, innit? This is like proper tribe. Oh, shit. I've just seen me? What a knobhead I look. What a way for them to see me. This. Are they up there? Oh, they're all watching as well. Stairs here. You'd think they would have sorted this out for me if they knew I was coming. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. as well. Just the stairs here. You think they would have sorted this out for me if they knew I was coming?

Do I want the bags yet? All right. Okay. He's glad to see the back of us, isn't he? See you then. Look at him, he can't get out of here quick enough. He knows more than I do, obviously. Look at him, not hanging about, no waving. Raymond, Raymond! Anyone watching at home, he does do tours. Hello. How you doing? Yeah. Hey. How you doing? How do you say hello again?

Hello. Chief? Around? Presidente. Presidente? Presidente. Presidente. Presidente. Hello again, hello. Chief around? Presidente. Presidente. Presidente.

This is going to be hard work. See I don't like that, I don't like the big, all the attention. That's one of the reasons I haven't got married. All that folk, everyone's looking at me. You don't know where to look. We've been there, we're now on stuff. It's like, what's going on? What's he saying I'll do?

What? What's that? Hang on, hang on. Hang on a minute. Where are you coming? That's what I say. Why am I coming? Where are you coming? I'm coming here. Ricky and Steve, my friends, asked me to stay here on the way to Machu Picchu.

I've just been explaining to a fellow here that I'm on my way to Machu Picchu. Need somewhere to sleep? On my way. I'm going to be staying here in a tent. Right, let's all get on with it. We've all got stuff to do. Oh, God. There's a woman with an axe, right, and she's not wearing the stuff. It's like she didn't want to join in. It's mad, isn't it? No matter where you live, there's a nutter. Whether it's on a council estate in Manchester, London, in the jungle.

There's always one in there who doesn't to join in. Swinging an axe about. HE HONKS It looks like it's going to chuck it down. No-one else seems to be showering. I don't understand why. This is brilliant. I mean, this churda, this is... They believe in nature and stuff, don't understand why. This is brilliant. I mean, this churl, this is... They believe in nature and stuff, don't they, that you use what God gives you?

I mean, I don't know, I've just made that up. They haven't said anything like that, but I imagine that's what they do. Is it alive? The mate's just left there. It's not looking good for it, is it? I don't live here, but I'm guessing things aren't looking good for it. But I don't want to say, don't do that, it's cruel. They'll go, OK, we'll go back to our old times then.

Get in the pot. So if it's me or that, I'll let them have that. Don't you want the head? You'd love that, wouldn't you? You'd love to eat that. I saw you cutting it off. You cut it off, you eat it. But can you let them know that I don't feel like I should take the food from them? Everybody wants you to... But you're not telling them what I'm saying.

I need... This is the one time I need you to explain. I don't think I should eat it. I shouldn't take food off them. I understand. I'm not actually a meat eater. I don't eat food off them. I understand. I'm not actually a meat eater. I don't eat meat. Vegetarian. What are they doing for pudding?

What's happening? What's happening, Aldo? I don't think I'd see that today. A fella getting poisoned off a frog. Bit weird, won't it? They believe that if they stick it on you, it gives you extra energy to go off and hunt, stuff like that. It's all about up there, isn't it? I mentioned my aunt in Aura with the amount of drug she's on.

If she was here, she'd be up for that. She'd go, I haven't had that. What are you mixing there? Toad and a bit of spit? I want to try that. If it hasn't been tested on animals, it's been tested on my aunt in Aura. So, look, they've just burnt in with the stick, and now they're putting the toad sweat and man spit on it. Does that hurt? Ah! Ah! Does that hurt?

It makes you feel dizzy. Why do you want that? Why do you want to feel dizzy? I'm going to be sick in a minute. Hello. No, I'm OK now. I'm full of life. I'm great. Can you let him know I'm full of energy? Tell him now.

I have that. Mmm! So good! I'm not having it done. Come on, let's go hunting. Oh, God. Let's see what's happening here. Keep walking.

Keep walking. Is this for the hunting, or is she just a bit forward? When the women came over, put a bit of make-up on me, made me look like a jaguar. That's the idea. Why don't we put her up inufna show yet today? Hang on. Ma'u, he's ready. Young Johnny picking his arrows.

This for the championship. That's what I do in my head, to sort of build it up like it's important. This for £100,000. And he's got it. £2,000 and he's got it. Anyway, they had a go. They were good. I had a go. I was shite. I must have had about nine or ten goes. But people were starting to leave. I can't do it. Can't do it.

Looks like they're going hunting. I thought they would have said to me, do you want to just come? Even if they didn't want me there. I know I wasn't that great this morning with the arrows. But they didn't even sort of sneak off and say, look, we're going to leave him behind because he's useless. Let's just go one at a time. Let's not make a big deal out of our hunt.

The whole village came out again to see him off. came out again to see them off. That's another thing as well about tribes that I read before I come here. They only count up to three because they don't need a higher number. I read that. Honestly, you'll like this, you'll love it. You're the red, right? These are all yours. Because they live in a world where they don't deal with mass. It's all like, you want chicken leg? Yeah. How many do you want? I'll have two. He's not got it, has he?

So... Now watch. Right, so I win. Whee! Have you been out hunting? Yeah. How many chickens have you got? Got three. What, is is all we've got no Harry got

two also we've got three and two oh great they don't need to they don't need to go higher than that which is why they probably don't understand connect for Which is why you probably don't understand Connect 4. Go on, someone else have a go. This fella looks serious. He's got a sort of intelligent kid's haircut. Oooh. I haven't heard from you. I hope you've not just been mucking around. This is a job.

Let's get you out of the jungle. You're gonna catch a flight now to Cusco. Erm...and you're gonna do the Inca Trail. Come on, mate. Let's get on with it. All right, boys. See you later. You old? Down the gate. Karl? Hey? I think they want you to pay for all the gifts you've been given. Can you get Aldo to tell these that I haven't got any money?

Cos he's a bit awkward, this. Aldo to tell these that I haven't got any money? Cos it's a bit awkward, this. It doesn't translate anything. All right, I'll give them back. But it's not cos I don't want them. It's because I just haven't got any money. See, I don't have any money. They don't give me any money. I thought they wouldn't check them off me. Seems like a bad ending now.

It's all gone a bit downhill now. I haven't got any money. Basically I've got to get on a plane and get over to a place called Cusco, start the walk up to Machu Picchu, which is fine by me because we're getting closer and closer. Just, you know, let's get on with it. Just waiting for a plane. Weird, isn't it? People at home will be going.

Are you in a bus stop? No. The airport. Where is the runway? Just over there, I think. That field. It's not an airport, then, is it? There's a bloke who's built a hut and got his lawnmower out. Is it safe? It just seems a bit mad that they've got plans. It's not an airport then, is it? There's a bloke who's built a hut and got his lawnmower out.

Is it safe? It just seems a bit mad that they've got planes when they haven't got runways. Like people on Bullseye when they used to win boats when they lived in a block of flats. I wasn't even aware of this, that there's like 30% less oxygen. I've never heard of that. So that's going to wear me out, innit? They don't tell you that, do they? Come and see the wonder and suffocate to death. I mean, I know the wonder is meant to take me breath away. More like this.

They've got oxygen over there. They've got what? You can buy oxygen in the reception. You can buy oxygen in the reception. Do they have a little cupboard, like the fridge that they have, where they charge you ridiculous amounts for a bottle of water? Up there they'll have a cupboard full of oxygen, and they know if you're in there going, you're not going to be going, how much am I going to get in? You're going to pay how much?

What price do you put on a bottle of air if you need it? I bet they've got a right scam going on here. All right, you out of the jungle? Yeah, just about. Just left there yesterday, just in Costco. Oh. It's guy one. What I talk about here is two. Just in Costco. Yeah, I'm not doing any more of this, so you can tell them now. Don't wait for me to get home. Just say, he's not interested.

He's been around the world now, he's seen it all, he's done everything. Knock it on the head. I've been through a load of shit here. Tell them now, call them now, and tell them that we're not doing series two. Nip that in the bud. All right. So you've got me heart going more now.

LAUGHTER I'll see you later. MUSIC PLAYS Apparently it's a tradition that if you're going on a long walk, like I'm about to do, that I'm not in the mood for, it's good to see this doctor who blesses your body, checks out that you're well, and gets you ready for the trek ahead. So I meet this bloke, a local fella called Richard. Tiny. He's thinking he's miles away. Turns out he's about four foot, so he's seen further away than he actually was.

Richard, yeah? Yeah. I'm Carl. Carl? Carl, yeah. How are you feeling? Erm...sick. Yeah? Er... Chits. Yeah.

Headache. Headache. You got out like this bag of shite. Bits of grass. Plastic things. You know when you have a bowl at home and you go, I might need that, and you chuck things in it, screws, bits of cotton, string, belly button fluff, whatever. It's like he'd been round and gone and emptied all the shit bowls

around the country and stuck it in a bag. I've got a guinea pig at one point. I'm not quite sure what was going on. Does it bite? Yeah. It does? Yeah. It does? Yeah. But when you've seen a doctor who's using string and old earbuds and stuff, you kind

of think, well, the guinea pig's probably got more of an idea of what's wrong with me than this fella has. So I just went along with it. I wanted a second opinion from him. You know what I mean? From the guinea pig. No, no, no. There's no going on there.

I don't quite understand what's happening here. This is bad. Anything problem for your guinea pig? He said all the badness that was in me was transferred to the guinea pig. So somewhere, you know, there's a guinea pig walking around with major shits. Is it this way? Keep going. All right, you ready? Do we have to bring all this stuff? Jesus, it's like going out with me mum. She stops at every shop. You enjoying the walk, Karl?

No. Cos I'm not well, am I? Not well. It's too hot. That bit of toffee you gave me is worn out. You got any more? I'm not in the mood for this. Just tell us which way it is. There's no way anyone will be watching this going, that looks pleasant. Healthy. Fancy going there.

Definitely not. How can I enjoy it after this? Or is it meant to work that way? That, you know, you're just happy to be there. God almighty. I've seen loads of people do this. I haven't seen anyone. How much better is it? How much better is Machu Picchu compared to that? Don't you think it's amazing that they made these kind of buildings

and that it's just gonna get better? I think you're talking shit. Because I'm not looking for house here. This isn't a property program, is it? I'm not gonna go just like this, but just something with a bit, you know, bit more outside space. What am I doing it for? If it's exactly like this, let's stop here.

Doesn't make sense though, because these things are living in, what like bungalows. But what's the point if you've got to keep doing this? You might as well have house with stairs. A bit more pleasant. For fuck's sake. I don't get it, why don't they just want to rest? They've been walking up there with all these bags, out of breath and now they're wasting breath, just making a racket, I mean that doesn't even sound nice to me, that's not

relaxing, they're all doing their own thing here. I mean I've had a cassette of pure moods, like pan pipe stuff. It used to sort of make a bit of a romantic evening. Didn't sound like that. And there certainly wasn't a rat involved. God for that. I'm going to keep walking. Thank you. God for that. How are you? I'm going to keep walking.

All right, enjoy your dinner. Welcome to my tepik tube. Thank you very much. Nice job. Yes. You're having a laugh, aren't you? See you. Ta-da. Are we in a full circle?

Any first impressions? There isn't one. There isn't one. I just feel... I felt that view earlier that I saw was better than this one. You sure you're looking at the right thing? That bit of grass and rock over there. I'm not going any further. Cos it's more of what we've already seen.

And I'm not killing myself. I've done everything that Ricky and Steve have wanted me to do. We need to do the end of it, Carl. We can't... Well, go then! You're standing here, the sun's going down. Get over there. I'm not going. I'll tell you now, I'm not going any more. Oh, and then where do I find you? Well, I'm... I'm... I'm kind of at the wonder.

Are you at the wonder or are you at the wonder? I'm... I'm at the wonder, but I've only just got here, so I've been walking about eight hours. Right? Now, I'm at a point where I can see the wonder, the cameraman can see the wonder, but Richard, who's in charge, is worrying going, "'Sky, I want to see the wonder. But Richard, who's in charge, is worrying going, Sky, I want to see the wonder. Have you got a problem if we just see it from here, have a look and go?

I am not sure I'm happy about this, Carl. I want to see the wonders of the world in HD. That's what concerns me the most. Yes, yes. I've got you this gig with Ricky on Skywire. It's a major television thing. They're putting all their money going this. This is make or break for them. But I've been you this gig with Ricky on Skywine. It's a major television thing. They're putting all their money on this. This is make or break for them. But I've been walking for eight hours.

And the view from here is magnificent. Are you just saying that now? Are you being honest with me? I think it looks magnificent. Carl, I've never heard you use the word magnificent in my life, so I'm suspicious. You feel the view in the sky are not gonna be deprived?

And I trust you. I know you're not gonna let them go, you're not gonna let me and Ricky go, you're certainly not gonna lie. You're never gonna lie. No. Don't bother telling Ricky or anything, I'll speak to him when I get back.

All right. All right, see ya. Let's see you. Bye. There you go, then. See? Easy. I'll just do a David Attenborough job on it. When I get home, just do a load of voiceover. Job done. 70 miles from Costco

is one of the old ancient cities of the world. A maze of old rock sort of huts, you know, sort of rock huts, boulders, walls, lots of rock related old stuff, you know, get lost in the maze. That's an easy thing to do. Look at that old fella down there. He needs a step lad to get out of the place. God knows what she's playing at. And that's good, isn't it? Wonder of the world. Protecting some strings, why not? I mean, I'm struggling here, if I'm honest with you. I don't know how to sell it to you. Do you like llamas? La la la la la La la la la la La la la la la

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