The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S0E7 (Tape 4A, 1998)

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

Gervais and Merchant first worked together in radio on the London-based alternative radio station Xfm London. Their show was broadcast from January to August 1998 from 4–6pm on Sundays, and only featured Gervais and Merchant (before their collaboration on The Office). The show's original format was more interactive, with features, guests, phone-ins, and audience interaction through listeners' letters.

afternoon on the request hour. Ricky you got something to tell us. What? In your role as head of speech? Yeah. You said you were going to speak? Oh no, no, I just got a fax through about a new club. It's a club I already heard about. It's called the Chill Club. And it's upstairs at the King's Head. And it's sort of really laid back and you go in and and sit on scatter cushions and be hippie and and. th. It stuff. And they have like a little acoustic sessions. And that's this Saturday, Saturday the 31st. I think it's every other Saturday at the Keenterdian Fulham. Oh right, yeah. And I've heard good things about it.

And it was sold out last week. So they'd get there early. Doors are at 8.30 and a bar till one, no entrance, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I th, I the, I the, I the, I's, I's, I's, I's, I the the the, I, I, I, I I I I, I, I, I I I I, I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.... And's a fiber and it's meant to be really cool and sit down sort of a trip hoppy folky port is he's heady jangly sort stuff right of your street surges not Ben's though he likes clubbing doesn't he late clubs with like loud music he does doesn't he yeah he goes to Bultie didn't come out of Birmingham yeah and talking about that I mean I still no one is phone to confirm or deny. I I the b I the b I the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they're they're they're they're they were they were they were they were to go go go go go go go. to go. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th the the the the to to took took to took took took took took to took to took to took to the the the the they were to to bed. Bolte didn't come out of Birmingham. Yeah, and talking about that, I mean, no one has phoned to confirm or deny the vulti of Bermo everything. I heard the dish, not the actual dish, not the pot, not the lump of clay, but the stuff

in it, the particular blend of spices that we now know as Boulty, that we now know as Boulty, the origin, the the origin, the origin, the origin, the origin, the origin, the origin, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, the thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the the the thi, is, is, is the the, is the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the the the the the dish... the dish, is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dish, originate, the dish, originate, is toe, is, Maybe he's right, hold on, no, because it's not the blender spot. It is the fact that it's called Baltie because you're eating out of the pot and that, I think he's right. You're embarrassing yourself now, Germace. Oh God, I'm backtracking. But thinking about it, but theyce. But the things, yeah,'ve... I think he's right Sturgis. Well in that case... Slade it is then? No, Black Sabbath. Slade, I'll get lost. Slade! And if we're counting Led Zeppelin, if we're counting Led Zeppelin, obviously the the theppelin. No.

Black Sabbath are better than Zeppelin. Oh! Oh, come on. No, you're wrong. You're having a mental aberration if you think. Go on, give me an example. Well, there's a fantastic story. Just the ludicrousness. Is that right? Where's that word? That's the word ludicrosity.

That'll do, yeah. Yeah. Tony Omi was asked when they hit big in America what it was like the Black Sabbath and he said, ah, it was mad. We went back to the hotel and there was like ten satyrs and we stood outside a hotel room. All dressed in black with black candles so he blew the candles out and sung happy birthday to them. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But Ledzap said, been a long to the rock and roll. And I think that's that's that's that's that I'm putting my little cocktail chippelot on the table between two pickled

onions and seeing if that's that right right. Yeah, and the juice is burning down my leg, indeed. Well, we've embarrassed ourselves. I think in a way we might have embarrassed XFM. Maybe. London. XFM, 104 know... Certainly, we've embarrassed London. XFM 104.9, it's just gone a quarter past through on a Wednesday afternoon. It's the request, Darry it's your choice of music. I think we'll have some more music now.

This is the Gary O'Donnell who says chocolate is the best thing to come out of Birmingham. I can't say the brand name because then apparently I'm advertising, but it's that chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate chocolate a little like you to advertise is it, Sturge? No. No. No. I mean you don't want to be pampered. No. No. No. No. No. Sky is the limit. The sky is the limit. The sky is the limit. You know. No. Exactly. It's like you've won the lottery. It's the drywive week that I like. Yeah. Public enemy, anthrax, ring the noise. That's for Gary O'Donnell this afternoon on the request out. It's XFM 104.9. It's just gone 20 past three.

Are we going to give away your prize that you bought in specially? Mark Adams from Harrow with his undercracker explanation. It is the same one that dropped off Duffo. Is it? He just called? Well, he's a star. He's won it. He'll be able to be able to be able to... He'll be able to be able to... Gary's voice check challenge. to their throw. to. to. thoy. thoy. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. th. their. th. thi. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. tha able to do that. You'll be able to impress your friends and family. That's just...

I can do it, all right. See? Yeah. Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Are you all right at the back? And obviously, normal collier.

Wow. Wow. Brilliant. That's my Norman Collier there. Brilliant. Yeah, my name is Michael Kane. So, yeah. Hey, it's like he's in the studio. Actually, it is nice to see you, Claire, to see you nice.

Oh, that's a great tip. He is. He didn't just, well, I've just, I keep taking off the pop shield. I know, because I can hit it and be Norman Collier. All right. That really hurts my ears. I believe if they were going to rename this book, they call it the Bible too. The good book.

Yeah, it's a good book. Yeah, it's a beautiful thing. Mark Adams didn't just like it wasn't great. Yeah, he phoned down quite rightly. He is the winner. We've forgotten about it actually, I have to say, so thanks, so reminding us. That's great. That's yours. Have you got his address, I've been here? Yeah, fine. Marvelous. I've completely lost my train of thought now. What's how to do next? What's the chance about? Usually you're so slick, you know what this together. No, it's obviously awful. That's Jackie Bramble. Let's leave the studio and see how good Claire is. We'll leave the studio.

Yeah, if you would. We're off. This is going to be pretty good, I imagine. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right then. See you.

No, still not working. Wednesday afternoons in the Capitol with Fluke Atombomb on the request out this afternoon as requested by Phil. I've got my train of thought back. It works. Great. Marvelous. We're fighting for as well. It's going incredibly well. Now, you may remember all this week I've been trailing a very special guest that was going to be joining us this afternoon. Martin Clunes is going to be here. Sadly, as you've probably noticed he's not, he's a very busy man. He's got lots of stuff to do.

Yeah, it's all the press for the launch in that Terence Ingan's trust campaign. Exactly. So I mean that's cool with us and he's going to give us a call on a. Yeah, yeah. And you smell of booze. Well, yeah, there is that. But, you know, hold on. No, I'm not, no, yeah, smell of booze. We're not saying Martin, we're saying Martin, smithers of booze. We're taking reference to his character in Nemo, yeah. We're not saying he likes a drinker. We're saying, we're saying, we're saying, we're saying, tha, tha, tha, and he's, and he's, and, and he's, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, yeah, and, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and, yeah, the, the, the, the, the, you, the, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, and, and, and, and, know, we do like, might like a drink. I'm not saying he's a lush, you know, or a tea total. But you're saying I reeker, ale. Yeah. Yeah, only because I spill most of it. Yeah, it's not my fault. After the, you know, after the, you know, after the accident. It was balancing it on the back. It didn't go down to. I felt. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a the the the the the the the the the the total. It's the total. It's total. It's the total. It's the the the they. It's all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all. It's all. It's all. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a total. It's a total. It's a total. It's a total. It's a total. It's a total. It's a total. It's a total. It's not a the total. It's not. It's not. It's a the t arm, his right arm starts going, that his left hand starts

going and if he's got a beer in it, it goes all over the place. It's a bit messy, doesn't it? I believe you in conditioning though, isn't it? Yeah. Since the age of 14, he can't keep his wrist still. Ex-the best thing to come out of Birmingham, so says Steve Stephen Surrey. Ricky the best thing to come out of Birmingham is yourself when you leave. If you were to go to Birmingham tomorrow for the day and then leave Birmingham the next day you'd be the best thing to come out of Birmingham. That's a compliment. What even better than Pig?

What even better than pig from Pipkins? Presumably. The best, it says the best, that's it. I don't think you're ever going to leave Birmingham if you go there again, I'm saying about the people in London's spa. But they can't... They're getting a lynch squad together at the moment. Luckily they can't hear us. Because they've got just quiet. Yeah. Tumble weeds. Yeah. We are the tumble weeds. Carl, Brian. Gas mask Grinshaw.

Oh yeah. Matt, my head's getting hot again. I am. I am. It's fantastic. You see. Wednesday after the day. Matt, have you enjoyed yourself today?

Yeah, Wild horse wouldn't drag me away. No. I think you meant to say wild horses. I know what it mean. Sturgis. Thank you. It's for the person who phoned or faxed in last week asking for Frente and we didn't have it and you said to me Ricky you can't say you don't have it but I honestly didn't have it but now I have it so whoever wanted it it's for you excellent that makes sense I just said then probably um for some I'm tired now yeah to the country I can't wait for friendie anymore I'm gonna I can't wait for frienda and he's gonna come, if they're from Birmingham. I didn't know if they were or not. I don't know if Sneaker Pimps are from Birmingham. Yeah, I suspect they are. Them small potatoes compared to the Sabbath?

Yeah, the Sabbats. What is this obsession with Sabbath? I always thought Sabbath were a bit of like a Job Rock band. Oh, hang on. I can't believe that. first rock gods, the greatest British band of what... Yeah, who have led Zeppon go on to Infants? You know what they've influenced that whole brand of Poodle Rockers, a big hair like extreme. That's not their fault.

That's not their fault. They're influenced their influence have been really heavy, great rock bands like Nirvana and things like that. Sabbeth are the best, the most informational, the best, the best band out of Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. You're playing with fire. It's like comparing Bobby Davaro to Tommy Cooper. Oh, it's honesty. I don't think so. I believe it is. I think it's like comparing, let's see, go on, Europe with Ben Butler. Perna Butler being Led Zeppelin. Wow, that's a bit abstract.

But they're both completely crap. Oh, whereas Bobby Dowbrose is brilliant. So tomorrow, Ricky, you says tomorrow we're going to have a debate. It's like comparing something I don't like very much with something I like a lot more. Yeah, well that's fair enough. You're airing on the side of soft, aren't you? Whereas Sabbath are hard. Yeah, well I like hard stuff as well. So you like Europe and heat be on a baller? No! At the way round. At the way around.

You hate, you hate Tommy Cooper, but you love Bobby Davro. How's that wo? No! That's what you're saying? They're twisting it, Claire. Please vote for me. I'll find yourself in the studio. I don't want to tho' No my friend. Lent Zepp is better than Black Sabbath! Not better today, by the way, because I've been ill all week with this cold.

Yeah, the mucus fairy came in the night, did he? It didn't sleep. It's great. Anyway, yeah. There's a fantastic thing from Bristol University. It was in the times. Forget hot toddies. for a cold is a cup of coffee according to psychologists at Bristol University. The drink largely eliminated the effects of having a cold. They reported after experiments with a hundred volunteers.

Trials with vodka have failed show any beneficial effects on lude or performance. Were these trials by vodka by chance done around the Christmas party period. Yeah, they've got to make it look good. Oh, and the control can be coffee. Yeah, they're right. Vodka versus coffee, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cold, their effects, they got to make it look good. Oh and the control can be coffee. Yeah, they're right. Exactly. Vodka versus coffee, yeah. We do our own. Yeah, vodka versus whiskey. Yeah, that's where that gold blend couple was always that they never come to the door going, it's not dribbling down. I just come for some, oh, Jesus. Wipe your nose and filthy. Oh, Jesus. Because it, obviously, uh, you've been tricking vodka, haven't you?

Not the coffee. Yeah, oh no, you're pissed in you. What snot went down in your mouth. Oh, and I fancy the good... Sabbeth is like Marlon Manson. Oh, well, no. Sabah is more radio heads. No, no.

No. No. No. 1, 7,000, 5802, who's the more influential British band? Sabbath or Zepp? Come on. It's obvious. The answer's Led Zeppelin. I'll fax you something tomorrow. Okay. Tomorrow will all will be revealed. Yeah, okay. It's black Sabbath, Ricky. I seem to have run out of coffee. I'm coming, I've got some, oh sorry. I'll be drinking fucker all day. Oh my 7-5-8-0. It's not getting any better.

It's 2,000. It's sort of a Led Zeppelin versus Sabbath type quiz. Yeah, yeah, it is, it is. It's not a quiz, is it? Yeah, no. Well it is really, because there is a right answer. There is obviously a right answer. No, no, no, there must be a right answer. The king of corruption. Which has been, you know, who has been, you know, who has been more influential,

we're from. From the Midlands now. Oh really, we're forgetting the Midlands now. Out of those two, doesn't matter where they came from. It was a fun fun thing. Who is a more influential band on the world rock scene? Sabbath or Zeppelin? Sabbeth? Sabah? Keanan's. Keanfield.

At least it's minutes to leave Campfield. Let's ask Camfield. Camfield. Camfield. Go and get him. He's just going to get him. Anyway, Matt, that's a bit small talk here. See you've enjoyed yourself today, have you enjoyed yourself today, have you enjoyed yourself today?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's wrong. He's. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's wrong. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He'sthought we've got no one. Ian Campartill. Seriously, you two look away, right? Right. Okay. I'm gonna ask you, don't know what we think or who thinks. Just ask the question, right? In your opinion, who is the most influential band that on the world rock scene?

Right. Don't give me any clue. Who in your opinion is the most the most the most influential is the most influential is influential is influential is influential is influential is influential is influential opinion, is the most influential band, it's a better band for you and who in Swords Warbew, out of Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath. And what on what scene the rock scene? There's all the most influential, you know, rock's the best band. Yeah, best band. It's got to be Led Zeppelin. Yes!

Yes. I'm's it. You're a scum! That is it! No, you're a scum! Because, because, Leg Zeppling were Led Zeppelin, when they weren't, they folded up black sabb of great albums of Ozzy Osbourne, 20 years after that, I'm afraid they went crap. You didn't stipulate the Ozzy Osbald, you said it, thii, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's, that's, that's thi, that's thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's thi, that's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, that's, that's, that bit. You said it, you laid it on the line, we didn't give any clues.

Canfield said, Led Zeppelin, that's it, I'm happy with that. Play a record. You've been talked to the listeners. Right. This is incredible. to the Leckesley. except one. Every single person was for Led Zeppelin except one and that wasn't a Black Sabbath, that was for Dave Keenan. That was for Dave Keenan said I'll vote Dave Keenan give him his own show. So Zeppelin got all the

votes, Sabbath got none, Dave Keenan got more than Black Sabbath. Thank you. It's official. For the discerning punter of course, Black Sabbath will always be there. For people that just say, you know, for people who haven't got phones. People who can't use the phone. I wrote the phone, I worked the phone, but I can't use the phone, but I can't use modern technology, it's Ledzapley. Excuse me a minute. Who did you say, Sturgis? I was going for Sabbath? thagagagag you do the Friday Rock Show on Radio 1? Exactly! Yeah, I rest the case. Well, yeah, so do I. And so do I. I think I do. I think I laid my case before you and I rested there and it was lounged

away. SFO. That is practically it from us today. Ricky's stormed out of the studio. Keen stormed with him to our other vote. Try out to vote. You're back in again Ricky. This is my goodbye link.

Okay, go on. Goodby for today. Oh, that's fantastic. And well done to Led Zeppelin for being voted the greatest band, most influential band out of them and Black Sabbath. We, tomorrow, Ricky, it's a shame Matt can't be with us, but tomorrow we are going to have, like a Gary Crowley Battle of the Band, type thing, I think. Like a bit of a demo clash.

Why? Why do you want this a bit further? No. What? You have to do. I just want to play. It's in fighting me. Worset. I know, I know. I know. Tomorrow you think they know. Tomorrow, thank you for listening.

Thank you for being discerning, intelligent people. Keep the facts is coming to Ricky Javais and Claire and Matt and Dave. They like th you the the the the fact the fact the fact they're they're they're they're to they're they're they're they're to they're they're to they're they're to they're to say they're to say they're Sabbath. It's been a pleasure, Matt, having on the show. So I'm going to say something before a go. Well, I'm just going to say something. I'm just going to say something. I'm just going to say to Ian Canfield, fade into you, and this is for Melinda, who wants to hear it? So that's what I'm going to be playing, to to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, th. th. that, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, th. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the to say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, to say, thi. So, say, say, to say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, to say, to say, to say, thi, th. So I just say to Vanessa, who's not love?

It's beautiful, it's a great thing. It's worth waiting a week for, isn't it? Yeah, it's good. The fingerprints of a koala bear are so similar to that of a human being that if they were found at the scene of a crime, the police would not be able to tell the difference. Is that, well that is the fact that I remember that? Is that, and is th, and is th, and is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th, is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu thu that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the difference. Is that, well that is the fact that I remember that. And is it, is it true? Well, it depends what sort of crime it was really. But you got this from a reliable source? Of course, the internet. So let me get this right.

The fingerprints of a koala bear are police would think that a human had committed that crime. Yeah, on vice versa maybe. What kind of a crime is that? The great koala bear, eucalyptus robbery. Right, yeah. Hmm. So they've come in, right? All the police have come in, the detectives, right?

Quince, we've sold this one. this is obviously, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, they. the police, the police. the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police. the police. the police, their. their. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their. their. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is. the, is. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. they. thooooooooooooomere. th. th. thoooooooooooooooooom. th. the tha, it's all right, Quince, we've solved this one. This is obviously a human being. He goes, oh is it? Oh is it? They're going, well, yeah, of course it is. There's a bloke here. He's been bludgeoned to death with a lead pipe in the conservatory. It's a big no, it's just that, you know, you've rolled out the possibility of five koala bears standing on

it on the other's shoulders, have you? In a long coat. Yeah, with the trilby on. Obviously, the bottom one's the fat one going, oh, where are it Yeah, and they've got... He's just, he just says, go on through, sir. Yeah, go on through, yeah, it's a press. They've gone press, right? And they've got in there, right? And they've got it just blown there, they've got his confidence. They've got a false and star, obviously. Like you're growing, right? and the bottom one's holding it all up. Then they just scatter. They just scatter, double the coat. They just leave a coat, like an empty coat with a hat on it.

All right? And Quince, and the thing is, I think Quincy knows, because he's already rounded them up and he's got a confession out of them. And so he's just being really smug. And they're going, oh yeah, yeah, it's a, it, it, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and, and. And, and. And, and. And, and. And, and. And, and, and, and, and, and, and. And, and, and, and, the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the thing. the thing thing is, I think that there's a Mr. Big. Do you? Yeah, he's up the tree, getting stoned on you, he's going, he's getting all the, he's counting his cash. He's just up there hanging loose, catching it, he's a devilish thing. He's fingerprinted, he's got the thin, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's thapapapapapapapapaping, he's their, he's thi, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's, he's th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's he, he's th. He's th. He's their, he's their, he's their, he's their, he's their. He's their. He's their. He's their. He's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's their. He's their. He's thick. They couldn't. He's used those koala pawns. Yeah, he's a devilish thing. Yeah, and they've done all the work. The little fat one he's got, he's got bad shoulders now. He's got four on him. And the tall one's got the little hair with the trilby. He was at the top because he can that letter? Ah yes, no I have no I'm gonna I'm gonna wait

till later about this. There's a great letter I'll wait till later. Well I'll play a song then. Please do but well I'll be careful if you're a police officer if you're listening if you're currently investigating a crime they got fingerprints you think you've sewn it up think just think just think just think just to look at the koala angle. Have expect you the th you th you th you th you th you the th you you th you th you you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th you just just just just just th you just to th. Just just just just th. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. the the the the the th you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you thin think. think. think. think. think. think. think. think. think. think. think. think. think.ala angle? Expect the unexpected. One from this bag. Yes, that's the first. So you seem to care about what bag it is. The bags are quite important.

Right, okay. I take one from this bag. And then I come up with a band name such as, let me see the riff masters. No. Just do that one. Take it any one of my bags. See the bag? Yeah. All right, Axel, is the first word. Yeah. This is going to be a cool band.

Yeah. Axel face. Axel face. Good of it. You just, you just, you know, I come in here. I present these ideas and you just ruin them you just take them it. Read that letter. Oh can I just by the way before I do that can I just mention that there is an email address? Yeah. What show is this? How many shows are we done there? Four or five or six? Anyway there is an email address and

I'm thinking that lots of our listeners I'm almost certain will have write to Ricky. Ricky dash javais at XFM.co. tho-do-k. Ah, there's a bit of a drawback with email. Don, I don't read it. Do you not know how to do it? No, I just don't bother. Get one of the lackeys. I entered my opinion all that once every two weeks. Ricky dash Javais at XFM.co. UK. Let us got more chance. Well possibly. I like

getting letters. Here's a letter. Dear Ricky, blah, blah, blah, blah, responding. Things I could do for you. Here's the important point. And this is by the way from Chivon, in Wilden. Things I could do for you. This is a great idea. Yeah, make you a her. Wilsden. Things I could do for you. This is a great idea. Yeah. Make you a her. That's the one I want. Javais, she can make you a her. She is a professional hat maker. Is it a milliner, is that the name? Yeah. But she's a professional hat maker.

I love it. What kind of a hat? What kind of a hat? What kind of a hat? What kind of a hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind of hat? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What kind? What fancy. I see you in a fairs. Hmm, no. A little red fairs. Oh, I know what I want. You know those top hats, that was like the the valvety ones. Yes. But squash down one side. The constern, like a diamond out. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that'd be beautiful. Bere. Yeah. It's a frisbee. It's a barraise. It's even got a... It's the... When you... Some bloke he does philosophy for a week or he's sort of doing French... And he comes in to the student union with a barra aunt and they go, Ian, the first thing you do is take it off and throw it out of the window. Of course you do. Because you're with the cool people and he's going to, oh that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's really that's that's that's just having a laugh. Anyone you see wearing a beret in the student or in a pub, just pop it off, frisbitt across the,

I'll tell you, you will be the most popular bloke in that pub. Use him like, he's got a piggy in the middle, you're just throwing it, you know, you're different people, it's different. They's... They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. They'll. the the the the the the the th. thehr. th. th. th. the the the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. th. Just. th. Just. Just. Just. th. th. Just. Just. th. Just. th. th. th. th. Just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th, I reckon if you threw it and it hit the hardest bloat in the club's pint over, he'd look over and they go, who did that and I go, I did, but I was wearing it and I go, fair enough, mate, and you know what I mean? He's straight to the guy that was wearing the hat. What kind of a hat? What kind th. What kind is th. What kind is th. What kind is the th. What kind is the th? What kind is the the the th? What kind is the the the th? What kind? What kind is the the the the th? I is the th? I the the th. I th. th? And th. the the the th? And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the th. And th. And that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the that that that that? And I 't want to get you on French people. No, I know, but all I would say to you is he's got no brim. You see, that can be healthy. What can we get Chivon in to measure me up for a hat? So Chivon, maybe if Shavon's listening, she could give us a call. A mate makes clothes.

You've got the whole, I can make stuff for you as well. Top hat and tails. Gervais, you would look fantastic. I wouldn't, I would send you to the wits? Is it waltz? Lord Farnaroy? Oh, it would be beautiful. And a cumber on.

What? What? But, oh, that would be great. You in a top, hurt and tails. Lovely, lovely. Why does it matter which bag is then? It's too complicated. Let's explain in a minute. Okay. You've got tickets to give away. Wow. We've almost forgot about it.

Yeah. Well, I've got to think for Friday the 30th February. Right. If I look on your hands and that. I'll just confirm that they're real. Of course they're real. I don't like that fell on the lot lottery. You know, they always go to somebody that a member of the street or somebody in a panto somewhere. Yeah, choose the numbers you know. And they're just going to. Just check check just check check check check check check. That's just check. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's a. That's a that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That. That's. That's that. That's that. That's that fell. That's that fell. I. I. That's a that fell. I. I. I'll. that fell. that fell. I. that fell. that fell. I. that fell. that fell. I. I. I'll. I'll. That's that fell. That's that fell. That you bent it mate. You've bent the fork, mate. Now I can't do the trick. Go on. So two tickets to see Gus, Gus at the University of London Union, Manate Street London on Friday the 13th. All right, two tickets there. Yes, bona fide jubais. What else

have you got? Corner shop? All right. Let me just check. Yes. Already. Yes. Two corner shop tickets here plus Le Rhythm Digital. This is like a real prize and I'll share it, isn't it? It's wonderful. That's on Wednesday the 4th of March. Again, it's the University of London Union. All right, two tickets there for them. Two tickets there. Two tickets to them. Two tickets, to see Catherine Will. Again, it's a Cuss. So we've got the tickets there, all right, so we've got six tickets in times. I've got a question, I've got a question for the first one.

Okay, was that Gus Gus, Gus? Yeah, first one's Gus, Gus. The question? A cool name there, Gus, Gus. Does it matter which bag they would have been in? Right, okay. Yeah, and I'll the phone number. Hold on one minute. Oh, one, seven, one, five, eight, oh, two thousand. Call me! I forgot, I've done that one.

So, yes, two tickets for Gus, Gus. For question again, please, Jerva. Does it matter which bag they were in? And again, it doesn't really, yes or no. And again, it doesn't really. for Catherine Will? Catherine Wheel. Yeah, when I used to do it when I was little I moved to the shed, my dad would nail it to the shed, setting it like, well, the nail was way too big and tight, I mean, it moved a little bit and then just, what we watched was this thing just burn out. It was more of a sort of like a Catherine Blob. Yeah and the question is, that's all right, isn't it? It's not, it? It's the the the the the the th, it's not so, it's not so, it's not so, it's not so, it's not so much, it's not so much, it's not so much, it's not so much, it's not so much, it's not so much, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, it's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the th, it, it, it, it, it's the th, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, it's the th, it's th. that, it's not so much, it's not that, it's that, it's that, it's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that Blob. Yeah and the question is, that's all right, isn't it? It's not so much a question.

The question is, that's all right, then it? And again, I'll accept anything. Right, I've better reminded with that number again. Give them the number. We got Catherine Will tickets to give away at the University of London. Yeah, and the question is not so much that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that question. It that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. It is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I is. It was it? Catherine, Catherine, Catherine, blah, blah, um, is that all right? Yeah, or something like that? Oh, one, seven, one, five, eight, oh, two thousand. Call me up on it.

Right? So it's going well, Javis. Just because it matter what's bargaining, the answer doesn't matter. Okay. C Wheel, that's all right, isn't it? Right? And Corner Shop. All right, now you've got to, now this is really, this is a gem of a private now. Already sold out. You've got two tickets to see Corner Shop. The gig is sold out. We've got the Rhythm Digital, the very cool band name there. They're going to be supporting Corner Shop. It's on Wednesday, the fourth of March. to Gervais is? The corner shop in Coronation Street was owned by Councillor Roberts. What was his first name? All right, the number please, Javais. Hold on, I've got what I'm on, isn't it? I'll just remind you of the other questions. Yeah. I can't, hmm.

Gus, right? Would it matter which bag they were in? I'll accept yes or no? Yes. Yes. Catherine Will, that's right, isn't it? Again, anything. And Corner Shop. Cancerophy. What was the first day? Number the case. 01715802. It's the number to call Catherine Wheel. Corner shop tickets for you.

I told you I must say, Javais that that was one of the most electrifying radio quizzes I've ever heard. Do you know what I mean? I think if we could option that for the tele, you could get the whole spin-off thing going, a board game as well. Yeah, it would just be beautiful. I'm thinking ahead. I'm thinking a head. That is just great, Javace. Oh, man. wea. We. We. We. We. We. We. We, we. We. We. We, we. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're, we're, we, we, we're, we're, we're, we're. We, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we can. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're, we're, we're just, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th was to give away all six tickets to the first person to phone up and give us a damn good reason why they should have them. Yeah, it's a bit traditional though, isn't it? It's sort of like you answer a question right and you win a prize. Yeah. I think this is better. But we can do yours if you want to do ten CDs to their their their their their their their their to their their to to their their their their to to their their. to to to their. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to phone to phone to phone to phone to phone to phone. And give to phone. to phone. to phone. their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their their. their their their their their the. their the. the first the first the the to to to to to to to to to to to to too. to to to they should have all six tickets. You confuse me? Well, I'm going to give 10 CDs because the tickets are gone, to the person with

the best reason why they should have six tickets. Right. But they can't have the six tickets because they're gone. So they're going to get 10 CDs? Instead? What's the number to call? Oh, oh you caught me the tap. to call. thau. to call? the the the the the their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to to get their their to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their te. tode. today. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. the. toda. toda. that. Basically we've got 10 CDs to give away if you can give us a good reason why you should have the tickets. Yeah, which you can't have. Told tips. Old newspapers. A lot of my audience carry around bags full of like old newspapers going back for a long time. I've no idea why. But everyone that ever speaks for goes you you ready to raise. I go oh yeah, I've got these. And they're all old, I mean tabloids, and I go, what the poet was for? And they look at me if I'm mad, so I leave it. But I mean there must be a basket. It's not really sort of ABC 1 category that I think a lot of advertisers are after. Is there an epsilon on minor. Cut it through for me.

The thing, I like them, I like more. Watch this, for example, right, Steve. This is the sort of quality, right? Okay, whoever phones up for no reason at all, okay, sends me a CD, right? So call for absolutely no reason at all, right? And don't give you reason to him out there, and send me a CD. What, I want the winner, right? I'll take call a number 0171-5802, it's the number to call Tinfoil Hats. Are they trying to steal your mind by Tinfoil Hat?

That's the kind of ad you're going to have on this show, Jabas. I've got loads of batteries. Don't use them. That one's, that, I've got there. Lots of newspapers. Jabas, the phone lines are buzzing. I know, yeah. The phone lines are buzzing. Yeah. I can't understand it. It's the same when another station gives away a holiday to New York. Yeah. It's the same reaction. Yeah. To whatever the hell it was you said. What was your competition?

It was a good competition. What was it? The competition was someone's got a phone up for no reason at all, not give Nick the reason and send me a CD and they're the winner. The phone lines are buzzing? Yeah. It's a good competition. How do you do this? It's a good competition.

I cannot compute. Well, if you can't see that is a good prize to win, then there's something wrong with you. Sorry, I just can't understand it. I don't think it's my kind of humor. The competition is this, Steve. I think, you know, I think you're a bit wacky. You're just frightened, aren't you? You're frightened, aren't you? You're frightened, aren't you? And they'll be frightened. but come into the studio. You were scared last week, weren't you? He came in the week as well. I kind of like Barrymore, that sort of thing, I think he's really funny.

I think he's really funny. Yeah, I don't mean Barrymore, sort of syllabic. Steve, you're funny. But nowhere near as funny. I'm just with the competitions, I think just one goes over my head. Look, look, the competition is this. Oh, sorry to Mark Adams' role. Nick cut you off and he's a regular listener. Someone phones up for no reason at all. Don't give the reason away. Send me a CD is the winner. It's the way you don't even use grammar. It's no need.

Just use words. Yeah. Do you take the words that you say out of these bags? Is that how you form your sentences and your competition? I don't think of it as forming sentences. I think of it as when my head gets hot, I have to call it down. And speech is the best thing. It's sort of like, do you know what I mean? I walk on the street, I have, I have, I have to talk, and it sort of calls it down.

I've got some people who've called. John has called from North Harrow, Louise from Clouton, Claire from Hendon, Paul from Maida Vale. I don't know why they called. No reason. I don't Going back to the competition that you set, I like that one. We met a fellow Carl from Capford. Now he phoned up to try and offer us a suggestion as to how we can receive money for free

by begging for it without breaking the law. Oh, he's the winner then? Is he? Yeah. Well, right. Hmm. So, uh... The fellow on the phones, the fellow's man in the phones, even managed to get a CD out of him, persuaded him to send it to CD? Yeah, it needs to be the winner anyway, even if he hadn't sent the CD. Yeah.

I don't, I don't, I'm just trying to pick a song. I haven't workedthat for a while. I don't want to work here anymore. Is that all right? Do you mind if I... No, no, there'd be plenty people wanting to fill your shoes and think of all the old newspapers I'll get out of it. Wait a minute. Um, was on the tube earlier, on your face. Now I know that you walk into work, but I do have to take the tube. There's a guy on there, there's a kid on there, it's that opposite me, 10, 11 maybe, all right, and he looks quite normal.

12 at the most. Yeah, he's an ordinary looking kid, you know, just got the sort of, you know, street clothes on or whatever, but looks perfectly normal. He's not the kind of kid that's going to get bullied at school, you know what I, to, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, and he's thi, thi, and he's thi, and he's thi, and he's 12, and he's 12, and 12, and he's 12, and he's 12, and he's 12. And, and he's 12, and he's 12, and he's 12, and he's 12. And, and he's, and he's thi, and he's, and he's, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, t t t total. talle. talle. talle. talle. And, talle. And, talle. And, there? Oh I love that. Do you know I mean when he goes to school on Monday morning if he's wearing the hat they're just going to kick the hell out of him? Well, we'll pass that on to Howard, we'll keep that and as I said, anyone wants to get hold of Howard, do it via us. He doesn't want to give out his address address obviously might attract mad people. Now I'm their hea hea hea hea hea hea hea. He hea. He hea. He hea. He hea. He was he hea. He was he hea. He was hea. He was hea. He was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he th. He was he was he was he was he was hea. He was hea. He was hea. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th. He is he th. He is th. He is th. He is he th. He is he th. He is he th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He is th. He is th th. He is th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the paper years ago and there was this guy and he was from Sheffield and he was at the birth of Christ he lived before as a cow. But that's not all. Another bloke who also lived in Sheffield saw this

I said I don't believe it so was I. Right so what's the chance of that? I was a cow as well and they started they, they started this cult called cattle for Christ. It's just two of them. But I just imagine people can say, I was a donkey. Did you see it now? Oh, there was a the beam in the way. I couldn't see. And no, could I, no, I was, oh no, it wasn't I? I was so close. Poultry for the prodigal sun?

Wouldn't be in there. Yeah, it wouldn't be beautiful. Yeah, no, well, I'm sure they're all kinds of societies like this. And perhaps if you're a member of one, then we'd like to, you know, find out all about you. Two idiots talking whole, the tension, the smells, the sights, the sounds, the hot dogs. The hot dogs, most definitely the hot dogs. A challenge has been set. Yeah.

Yeah. Matt didn't know this, but I'm a bit of a Subutio buff myself. He comes in here all with his sheepskin on, like this little team. I'll play. bit, I think I do, yeah. So, well the Gorton was low down. It was, yeah, we've got a chilly against England but unfortunately I haven't got, I haven't got chilly so I brought in Morocco instead, not in Iraq. Columbia, yeah, so if any of the defenders mess up, I can always shoot one of them. And that's going to be live, there's tenments 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10 10, their, their, thin, it's, thi, it's, it's, it's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I, of course. And that's going to be live, it's 10 minutes each way, at 20 to 3 in the X-FM

lounge. We are actually doing a proper football match, a future match on X-P this afternoon, kick off at 20 to 3, so it's 10 minutes each way. Yeah, and we'll be dipping in occasionally to say that. A little board phrase is going to be the players. It's a work and genius. And I've picked my team. Have you? Yeah, already? Yeah, England the one I mean. Now I've got this, look at him. Look at it, look at his face. Gus Coyne here. He's so pleased, look at him that. He's only an inch eye. Look at it. I've got Gusman, Incie, Batty, Semen there. I've got this all over Nigel Martin is in gold. I'm going to put it in, but not mine, Matt bought it in, you're filthy. Anyway, we're going to... Apparently for goalkeepers to us, though, most women prefer flowers to semen.

Really? No, Matt! What? Well, so we're going to go and, they'll check out the pitch, warm up. And Matt, Matt, Matt, doing it in the X-S-T lounge? Mights another point. Um, yeah, yeah, and we're live linked, we're referring everything, it's to be amazing, Claire. It's got, this is radio, this is what radio's meant to be like. Yeah. Two grown men, playing to be semen puns.

That is exactly the corridor. You know what I'm trying to say? The crowds are there, Ricky and Matt are there. Are we ready? We're ready. Let's do it. I've won the kickoff, Claire, and I'm starting off. Oh, there's some of the crowd, and it's off, we're away, and it goes... It's a beautiful thing, he's moving down the pitch. It's gone to the football corner.

But he's got to the tally down. Chilly on the break? Oh, it's a foul. Oh, there and little Tommy Tumkiss and the end of him Jimmy Twizzler. Oh there he is. I'm going to give it away straight away. It's a number 11 there and he's went all the gold kick.

It's a gold kick. There's little boy Fraser there on his horn. Half time. Half time. That's it. We'll be back in a minute. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. Half time. Half time? Half time! That's it. We'll be back in a minute. That's ridiculous.

We can have a penalty shoot out there. I nearly sprain myself and I'd stop in mid-swing. That's happened before though. We will be back at the exit. But I don't want to be to see. You're very good with your fingers on it. We will be back at the XFM living. I'm busy. Part two. Right after this. The bar, the score, England versus Chile is nil, nil. It's time to go back to the XFM living room.

For the second half of the match this afternoon. Let's see how it's looking. For the second half of the match this afternoon, let's see how it's looking. Well, Claire, I'm injured the down to 10, man. I had to pull one of my players off at half-time. That's very kind of, yeah, my ball is only get oranges. I used to do that to mind, but I wouldn't put the tights on and have the bag over their edge. Here we go, here we go. There there, here, here, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I the the, I th. I tho, I to to to to to to to to tho, I was the, I was the, I was the, I was the, I the, I the, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th, I th, I th, I th. I tho, I tho, I tho, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm toge. I'm together, I'm together, I'm together, I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm that lovely ball there. A hoddle type ball into nowhere in particular.

Oh, that's chilly again, they're two out there. Oh, they found his own player, they missed it completely. England move up there and it's a dirty foul. It's a dirty area. He's moving two. There's not. Oh, one, two. Oh, here we go. I've never been in such close proximity to you, Ricky. England in possession again. Oh, look at his move here.

Is that you have to... I'm with all this. They're keeping it. They're playing with the ball now. Oh, it's a bell. It's going to take it quickly. Oh, so close. Still England's?

Still England's there. It's in a dangerous position. And that's... Oh, it's Neil-Nil. That is the end of the match then. So I guess what extra time? Penalty shootout. Yeah, okay. Right after this.

So as we recreate the England Chile match tonight this afternoon, in fact here live on XFM down there in the living room, we have Ricky and Matt, Ricky representing England on the Subuio table. Matt is doing the business for Chile, although he hasn't got any Chile team members who's using the Columbia ones, but don't you worry about that. We cross over live now, back to the XFM living room. Hello oh here we are Claire the tano is on tell us well England is to take the first penalty it's just the best of three and his goalkeeper keeps jumping up and kicking it with his back

score intake yeah that's ridiculous but can I just like say as well? I feel slightly stupid because we could be in the studio pretending to play this, but we are too... No, you really are. Spruilled out. My knees are killing me. We've got the whole thing out. It took us about an hour to take it down. I'm in trouble with me mom because I'm missing me tea. quickly so the score is nil-nil this is a penalty shootout off you go yes England one nil England one nil

Oh jeez amazing scenes here Oh I can't believe it okay was that a save yes of course it was England in the lead Oh yes! It's two nil. It's two nil. Chile have to score this to stay in. Oh, they save it!

Amazing! Your face is gone off! I can't believe it. They can't. Yeah! England win! Obviously I'm very disappointed. Oh, boys, well done.

Just like to say thanks to everyone, I'm glad faith to me. I know I could do it. There was a lot of criticism, but that's, we've done it! And as we say goodbye to the XFM living room. There's Chumber Wamba with tub-thumping playing over the tannoy. Ah, the boys will be back in the studio for a bit of a post-match analysis. Joined by Ricky Javais and Matt Amboun, team captains. Ricky Javais England, Matt Amban Chippewan Chippee. Although it was Columbia, but it was only because of the, isn't it? The really embarrassing thing is, not only that we actually went through with it,

but we didn't care what it was on the radio or not, we were having a brilliant try. My heart, I just wanted to win so badly, I just wanted to win so badly. Oh God, I put that goal past him. Oh God, it was just amazing. Yeah, you looked like a happy man and the boy Fraser did well he was he was jumping up and down he ruled it with a rod of iron I know yeah I know yeah we're well we leave it there yeah do you know what we haven't had time to do this afternoon Matt all those autographs you got all the awards all of them cranky you got we got we got all those autographs and we're No, I'm going to keep them. Okay, fine, yeah. To hell with the listeners.

Yeah. All right, we'll come up with the competition, let's go. We'll do it next week. I mean, seriously, Ricky, we have got all these autographs. That's a lovely prize, quite seriously. You didn't really get cranky, no. It's got to be libelous. At least he said off, off with drinking gin. Allegedly. Yeah. But once again, thank you for the effort you put in this afternoon for that match.

It's my pleasure. And the fact that it's not sad, the fact that you did actually play. I was amazing. I let you win. Did you see the second goal? I let you win. Also Ricky, I know rubbish. A day. I died by a faid. I did. I've accepted the bribes. No, it's true.

No, I want in England to win, so that's it. That's it. That's fake. No.