The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S1E16 (March 16, 2002)

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

The show ran between September 2001 and May 2002 before Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film the second series of ‘’The Office’’. Initially, Pilkington’s on-air presence was relatively minimal compared to what it would become. Gervais and Merchant only occasionally called for Karl to weigh in with his thoughts, while the two mostly talked to each other, with the “links” between songs comprising only about 30 minutes of the show’s 2-hour run time.As Pilkington’s personality moved to the forefront, the talk portion of the show expanded to roughly an hour per 2-hour broadcast. While the show relied largely upon a stream-of-consciousness format, Pilkington made attempts to keep things more conventional by insisting on running contests and airing pre-recorded segments and regular “features”.

Our Freaks Electric, Richard Ekon Sugar Babes and XF104.9, Steve, absolutely. I'm Ricky Gervais, with me Steve Merchant. Hello. Carl, the producer, seven minutes past one of a Saturday and what a lovely Saturday is. It is indeed. Well, it looks nice and bright, but it's deceptive because I went out and I just had a t-shirt on and I had a jumper around me. I got out then I thought this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi their thi, I thicick and I thick and I thic and I thic and I was their their their their their to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I the. I'd to the. I'd took took took took tipe. I tip-I. I took. I took. I the. I toooom-I was toe. I went out and I just had a t-shirt on and I had a jumper on and I thought this is chilly I had to pop the jumper on. Oh no. So uh you know just be getting if you're just looking at a win a

winter thinking I'll go outside pop a jumper on or a jacket because it looks nice but it is a little bit colder than it looks to look. Rick can I ask were you wearing the jump around your waist tied with a knot or did you have it over your shoulders? Like maybe she just jumped off a yacht? I popped it round my waist. Now I tell you why, I tucked my t-shirt in for neatness and comfort. Lovely. But even I know, even I know, even I know that's a little bit dorky, you're carrying bags or you're busy on the tube. I know, but I wouldn't mind that as long as I didn't lose it, as long as I saw it and I saw it and fall, I pick it up and then clean it. Not in the washing machine though.

Just I pop it in a cold wash, right? And then leave it out on a few towels or some of the towelsowels towels towels towels towels, coming up we've got loads of tunes. We're going to be playing some of the best bands around, some new ones, some old ones, might even play some Adam-Man, we don't know yet. Let's have Badly Drawn Boy though, shall we come? Current single. Badly drawn boy there, silent sigh. Is that the one with the duck? Yes, very good with you.

Apparently he stopped wearing his hat around because he keeps getting recognised. And he's going to not wear his hat when he doesn't want to get recognised. Maybe pop it in the wash. Maybe just have a light cold rinse. Well, light cold rinse, soak it, right? And then just leave it out on a towel, or you know, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, soak it, right, because it's woolen, right? And then just leave it out on a towel or, you know, maybe, near the immersion heater, or over a radio, or even not a radiator, is that problem? It can cause that sort of, you know, damaging to the fibers of the wall. He had a kid last week. Did he?

Who did? Badly drawing, boy? thrownly draw a little boy, he's going to call it. Money. Brilliant Rick. Yeah, well done. It's a sort of satire. Stand and deliver. I have money all your life. Oh, um, now. Can we explain why that's funny? Don't panic, Carl?

I'm a professional. Don't worry. What's your concern? Tell us. Tell us? No. You can say. I can't. You can.

You can. This is so unprofessional. What? What have we done? What, talking about wool? Come on, Carl. What's the problem? You say? He's great and he's so scared.

Come on, Carl, what's the... Tell us. I don't know all the Internouts, so I don't want to get into it. What? The thing. Well, look, you can't... People are perplex now. What's the thing, Carl? What's the thing?

What you're worried about? Saqa' say, is it an email that's, I don't understand it. Please know that under a ruling at the old Bailey any reference to Adam's state of mental illness in any news report will constitute a breach of the ruling and therefore lead to serious action from his lawyers. That's right and that's true. We can't, we can't, we can't talk about that. You can play his records and sing his classic songs. Yeah, it's best just to leave it, isn't the way. Carl was a little th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. to be. to be. the the to be. to be. to be the to be to be to be to be to be the to to be to the to the the the to to to to to the the to the the the the the to the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. theat. theat. the. the. the theat. the theat. the the the. going to mention that or influence anything and I totally agree with the law so that don't panic that should have never been sent to you. Why? Because it's like you know accidents happen. When things like that happen right you know you've been told not to mention it yeah and you're like a little kid and once things are in your head yeah and once thin thinn't thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the thin thin their thin thin their thin their thin thin thin their their thin' thin' thin' thin' their thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' their their their their you to thin' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their toe to toe their to to to their to to their the an the an the an th difficult not to mention it. I mean when I was a kid, my ma'am's

sister Aisle was seen another bloke. It's weird because she's a lesbian now. It's really weird. That must have been an interesting Christmas. But anyway, she's seen this bloke and it looked like Ken Dodd apparently. it looked like Ken Dodd apparently. He looked like Ken Dodd. So people said don't mention it because it gets it gets on his nerves when you like meet him and you go oh god you look like Ken so I said all right his name is Will or whatever and I was introduced to him first thing I said nice to meet you Ken. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Did you do it as a joke or did you know? No no because you know when you know that I'm not allowed to say that I can't say that,

I can't, I mustn't say that, I can't and then I saw him I thought Jesus does look like him. It just came out. Was it dodgy? Was it dodgy? Do you turned her into is weird out of the frying family is good fire did did did she announce that to everyone what age was she when she realized well I mean I mean I mean we're not a close family do you know I mean I'm not a family who

keeps in such with everyone and I think my man called her up one Christmas and sort of said you know how's the ditty men yeah yeah I'm not I'm not too ash. And she said, oh no, I'm not, I don't do that anymore. I'm knocking about with Sandra or whatever. Right. It was like, oh right. Not big butch Sandra with the big earrings and the skinned head. He used to live down the road from you. I don't know.

I don't know. It's the thanks. But she lived, she had a haunted house. Go on. Um, who's Sandra? No, Aisle. Right. Is this before she was a lesbian or not? Before. Okay. And there was a bike in a hall and the pedals used to go back. There was a what in the hall?

There was a what in the hall? That's handy, that go backwards on their own and also shoes used to stick to the wall or something. Did they? Shoes used to stick to the wall. Yeah. Okay. That sounds like a hell of a household. Yeah.

Oh dear. Brilliant. Maybe she should clean the walls. Classic. Oh, look it's classic. Classic. Yes, I'm a lot. The Last, and there she goes. What a great start to show. We've had 20 minutes of some of the best band to chat on music and anecdote anywhere on the dial. You're damn right. Hi five. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What are we talking about? Now, oh, well, I love that that track. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the the their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I. I'll. L. I. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. L. A. A. L. I. I. I'll high five. Yeah. Yeah, sweet man, sweet. Oh, what are we talking about? Now, oh, well, I love that track. It's lovely. They've got a bit of the Liverpool gene pool, haven't they, that sort of doddy. You know what I mean? I like the scoffs sort of look, you know, the silly and teeth and ears. Yeah, that's just three of my friends. Now, we've got a great track lined up, haven't we called that I've bought in? So I'm in a car. I'm

not ashamed. As you know, me and Steve aren't worried about being part of a trend or, you know, you know, being trendy or jumping on. But Steve particularly doesn't worry about looking good or, you know. Steve particularly. I'm saying they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th. th th th. th th. th. th. tho. tho. the the the that's that that's got th. th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. We've got th. th. We've got th. th. that. that. that. that that that thate. thate. thate. We've got thate. We've got thate. We've got that that that doesn't worry about walking along like that or you know well this is I'm not gonna no no I'm saying you don't mind the insults freak boy or goggle I or swore off a ducks back you know I mean or or a new phrase that's been coined because of Steve's face what I'm saying there just a lot of a lot of a lot of friends and that but can't... I can't... I can't... I think it's the kagol. Looks good. It does look good. It's waterproof, Rick, and it's also stylish. I wear nothing underneath. So it's tight to the skin. It gets sticky and by weather. Is that why you're... the own style you know that consequently the pipe you don't feel that's an affectation I don't think I think because you're young and tall yeah the pipe looks a

little bit silly go on I mean I know you're worried about because we've already lost the trilby well I'm worried of because pipes are gonna the pipe I mean this is the problem there's no young young people there there there there the the the the the the the the the the the the th you th you th you th you th you th you th is no young people th is no young people thin thin thin thin thin thin the the the the the thin thin the the the the the the the thin thin thin th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no young people the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi taking up the pipe as a smoking device. Is there anyone, is there anyone under the age of what you say? Oh we've said this before and I don't think there was no one. I think there was some nutty old woman who phoned in and said I smoke a pipe. But I'm talking about, you know, because if years ago it was like an ox-bridge student, you know, you know, you're a bit Cambridge, you know, you'd a to something, you'd a little, you'd a little, you'd a little, you'd a little, you'd a little, you'd, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thee, thee, they. I'll thee, thee, they, thee, they, thee, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there's, there's, there's, there's no. There's no. I there's no, thee, thee. I don't no, thee. I don't thee. I don't thee. I don't thee. I don't there's no, there's no, there's no, we smoked a pipe, but no one is there. I'll tell you this, in the year 2050, there'll be no pipes. They won't exist. Well, I think all drugs like nicotine and alcohol will be banned and we won't be allowed to think our own thoughts, we'll have to live in the sewers like eating rat burgers or something, weren't we? And it would have to download our memories or probably, probably, probably, probably, or, or, or, or, or, or, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, th.. N. Dr. Ni. Nic. Nic. Nca. Nca. Dr. Nca. Nca. Nca. Nca, th. Dr. Nica. You'll just have a little chip in the way and you'll be, you'll be going out with a big fat man with a big togron and there be, and you'll be, you'll be touching him.

But well I think it's a beautiful woman. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you'll be, yeah. And I'll be dead. Unless you, because obviously you're becoming quite wealthy now, you're becoming a very rich man, obviously, from all your, you know, celebrity endorsements. I'll have my brain put into a robot, made a titanium and I'll have it, oh. Would you be cryogenically frozen if you could do it? I would, but I'd leave myself out on a towel. Right. Never, because if you do it too quickly, there, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the brain, I the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I thr. I was thr. I'm thrown, I'm thrown, I'm tode. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. I'm to to to to to to be careful. Did you read in the paper this way? This is true. Apparently the world's oldest man who's 113 lives in some little part of Japan. Like little island in Japan. But apparently the world's oldest woman also lives in exactly the same place. Now I don't know if she's since died, but she lived in the same place as what? Do you not think there's something going on there? I mean isn't that a bit eerie to you? I to you to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their little their little their little their their little their little their little their little their little their little their little their little their little their little their little, isn't their little, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't their little, isn't, isn't, isn't their little, isn't, isn't their little, isn't their little, isn't their little, isn't the little their little their little their little their little their their little their their little the little their the little, isn't the little, isn't the little, isn't the little,ogether and as he ever found lipstick in his back?

I think that we're one in the same. I wonder if it's something like you know what brought Godzilla back. There's some kind of the semantics over there. No, there might be, they're sort of like, yeah. Although just hearing some of Carl's stories about school, there's some of Did you say you did live near a sort of nuclear plant or something? I found out it wasn't a nuclear plant. It was a chemical plant. My God. Really? Is that really true? What colour is the tap water in your area? It was better than it is in London.

Really? I was talking to someone about this the other day. Yeah? Um, water in London's rope. And I used one them water filters. Do you really? And the guy down in the office was saying it's a waste of time though, because they only work for a couple of water, like you fill your jug twice, and then the water's going through the same muck, isn't it? That's true enough. But if it's not getting through, it's not getting through, it's not getting through? Fair enough. Fair enough. So are you just thrown it away based on what that bloke said?

Did he sell you another one that he had on him? Did he have a suit in a bit? When you say like he works here, was he actually hanging around outside? Yeah. Did he have a suit case? With a cart? Yeah. Oh, dear.

So just go back to insults briefly. You know who's saying... Goofy? That's not fair. No, no, no, because that's what he said, it's in the head. What do you mean he said? No, no, no, I mean... When did you call me goofy? No, he didn't. He said about one.

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I noticed the other day when Carl was sitting on your knee having his picture taken. It's a long story, right? It's got atoo small. I'm not being funny because I mean, you know, I'm not perfect. But he's got a completely spherical little head. He looks a little bit like a baby hamburger. You know a hamburger off McDonald's? He looks like a little baby hamburger. And it's sort of quite put upon. It's... Suzanne thinks I look like that thing in that Felix advert. You know when the woman pulls the head off that. That little plasticine... Yeah, and they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're th. And th. And th. And th. And th, and th, and th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th. But, but th. But, but th. But, but, but, but, but, but, but th. But, but, but th. But, he's th, but th, he's th. But, he's th. But, he's th. But, he's th. But, he's th. But, he's th. But, he's th. But thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the, the. the. theat theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat the. But That little plasticine morph type? Yeah and then they make a new ed for it and it's like a little ed. Really? That's your girlfriend saying it. I know. Anyway listen let's let's get back to business here. This is a great track it's America by Simon and Garf uncle. This is what I've started saying

we don't care about being trendy and all that. That was it. Strokes, last night XFM 104. We're flying now, 35 minutes into it. No real hiccups, I don't think that... Not so far. It's just going really well. My name's Ricky Givais, with me Steve. Hello there. Carl. thirty-five minutes into it. No real hiccu. I'm going up soon. to the white van man. I'm... My name is Ricky Javain. that's thirty. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi and thi and thian. That's thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi and thi, thi, thi, thi and thi and thi and thi, thi and thi and thi, thi and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi-in, thin, thin. That's thi-a. That's thi-in. That's thi-a. thi-a so fine and that it's going really well my name's Ricky Javani's with me Steve hello there Carl all right coming up soon white van man white van Carl we asked car the questions that the son asked someone else exactly it's a good feature I'll be testing Carl on the new the new re-education of Carl as you know you got a GC SE in history it was the last heavy sort of one yeah so Winston Churchill we got we're going on to more

sort of metaphorical and metaphysical sort of pursuits aren't we not that book yeah that's the he's a subfables in a week you don't have to read it just choose out just choose the ones about the foxes eating penguins you'll like that Steve over to you thanks very much I wonder if I wonder I I I I I I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I don't that I don't that I don't that I don't that that th th th th th th th th th. th. Yeah th. Yeah I don't th. Yeah I don't th. Yeah I don't th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I can't have that's. I can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can that's the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. Yeah. I don't th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. I don't that's. I don't th the ones about the foxes eating penguins you'll like that Steve over to you thanks very much I wonder if I don't think we've made much progress yet on sending Carl into the air with the no this is gone a bit ballistic actually I don't go off the idea oh no shut up don't you know don't go but that we've we've inflamed the imagination of the capital there there's people the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've th we've the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho the the the tho. the. the. the. the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the the the the the the the think it's a good idea but I think we should we should you know make a day of it. I think we should send you up in some balloons right? Maybe you know... Well hang on really let's before we go ahead let's explain what I'm because

people might not have listened last week. I don't believe that. There are one or two Rick. I don't believe that. Name them. with helium can lift a bloke off the floor. I think that's too many. I think that's too many. I think that's too many. I think we could do it for less. Well anyway, listen, there are various organizations which actually exists already that that can provide this kind of entertainment, I mean, I didn't th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I th. I th. I th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thea. thea. thea. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. already but apparently there is. Incredible. Anyway so we're going to try and track one of them down. We're going to see if they can organize it so that you, Kyle can float into the air. We need to get you, is at least 11 feet up? Yeah, if it's certainly higher. I mean I can't remember what the record is right, health and safety ways. I don't think that can be healthy. I think as we get into a sign some at which I will. Okay. I think we'll cover our sounds. But yes certainly we're thinking of maybe making it a bit like, was it, is it T in the park? Yeah, the big event. Yeah, the big event. Steve's going to do, Steve's learning to sort of like scratch and mix and beat match and

I mean you're getting pretty... I'm making a lot of progress, yeah. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, are going to be a tunableist. Yeah. Steve never learned an instrument which he regrets, you know, and you know, he's a modern lad. turn tables as his instrument. I just got two turntables on the microphone and so far I mean I'm cutting out big style. No don't don't laugh because it is mental the sort of stuff I'm coming out with. And I scratch in I've got the beats you know Matt you imagine that? Shut up it's up. No no if it's. Look at the chemical brothers for goodness if you're talking about freaking their freaks. If they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their th. If you're th. If you're th. If you're th. If you're th. If you're taken. If you're taken. If you're tha. If you're thi. If you're tha. If you're th. If th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t Gavin, you know that they're used to kind of at least faintly appear in their videos. This one is just some shots of like what you see from outside

a train. That's, to them, that is more glamorous and exciting, apparently than seeing the lads themselves in the video. Who do you think is cooler to look at Steve or the chemical brothers? Steve. Definitely. Yes. Yes, you're you. You're you. You're absolutely. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. You're absolutely. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the their. the the the their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the the th. the th first sensible thing you've said for a long time. If he had the choice, I think Steve would look better on a album cover. Really? What would you do? What would you do with his image? I'd put him in the distance, so I'll have... I can't believe this is... No, just so you don't look as tall, that's doing your favor.

I was on the tube, thrown. I thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I I I thoooooooooooooooooooo. I tho. I tho. I tho. I was tho. I was tho. I was tho. I was doing thoooo. I was doing tho. I was tho. I was tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. What tho. What tho. What thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I to th. I th. I th the tube right coming in to meet Gervaiso the day and I was wearing a suit and my mobile phone slipped out my pocket and it landed on the seat and I didn't realize this and as I was about to get off some bloke who was sat like an old guy he picked up the phone, he picked up the phone he picked up he'd like, he'd told you the phone, he'd dropped your phone. . for a point out I dropped my phone. But did you have to do the Lanky? But you knew he meant, I bet you turned around straight away. It worked. He knew he meant, Steve. He's done you again. But I was the only person stood up. It was a fairly empty train. Was there any other Lanky? Was there any other Lanky? No, what? What?thing though isn't it that's what I'm talking about you say the thing that you don't want to say it's like me with

Ken Dodd and Will I think he wanted to say this I think he took pleasure in it I think he went that bloke's lanky I shouldn't say that yeah I should I want you know I want to sort of like to tie on all back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to want to, you know, I want to sort of like tie them all to the back of your belt, so as you go up there you sort of tip forward slightly so you're going up slightly upside down. We could paint some advertising on your bald head. Oh yeah, that'll be great. Yeah, we'll do that, that's a great. Lank. That'll that. that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that'll that, I I I I that, I that, I that, I that, I' that, I'a, I'a, I'a, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, the, you, you, tie, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, I, the, the, the, I, the, the, the, the, I, the, the, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, t my feet off the ground. And that's a big difference to what it's got now. No, okay the tell you what, we do a hundred feet in the air and I'll hold onto the rope. But we'll do it at Wembley Arena and we'll sell tickets. But it'll be for charity, Carl. It'll be for charity. You know, I like karaoke, but I wouldn't want to go on stars on the rise.

Sure. And it's got out of Anne, that's how it's sort of, it's grown too big. Who would you do if you're on stars on the rise? I do that. Moby? No, that, that, Jack the Knife. Jack the Knife? Jack the Knopf. But which of the Knife? That's what I do. But which can... Who...

Let me do a hip-hop version. But which of the many singers would you impersonate? It's not the song, is it? It's the singer. You could do Jimmy Somerville, I think, quite well. Yeah, Somerville you'd be good. Mobey, you'd bring out a single? Did he? Did thin? Did't? Did More? Did morph? Did morph? Did morph? Did morph? Did morph? Did morph? M? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th. I? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to? th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to thooooooo. Didn't the other thing, June? Did Morph? Morph didn't speak, Rick? Didn't he? Morph hardly had any features.

True. Right. Right. There are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm looking at your vase.

Steve's got the sun. Express 2 featuring David Byrne, Lazy, XFM 104.9, quarter 2, I'm looking at your vase. Steed's got the sun. Yes, we're just going to be doing White Van Carl, where we ask Carl the questions the son asked some other bloke. That's right. Because we think Carl's got more to say than anyone on anything. Carl only tells the truth by the way. Just remember the way. Just remember

that listeners. Off you go. Yes, well today's White Van Man in the Sun is John Slade. He owns his own door maintenance company. His answers are very informative I have to say. But Carl, what do you make of the Channel 4 producer aged 30 who duped to school into believing he was a teenager for a documentary are you familiar with this story? No go on. Well basically a 30 year old guy kind of fooled the school into into thinking he was a pupil for a secret documentary. The school's outraged. Do you think that that's a, you know, you know, should anything go when it comes to making TV? I think I've said to you before. There's loads of kids at my school. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to, to. to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. th.'ve said to you before. There's loads of kids at my school. I remember being in the first year and kids who, what year does skills go up to? I was in the first year, what is it? Eleven? Five? Oh sorry, first year infants and juniors.

No, secondary school. 11? Right, year 11. Kids like beards and stuff. No, not year 11. They're 11 when they first go to secondary school. Right, well I'm 11, the kids at the older, well there's a fifth form and then there's a sixth one, I think can't you now? Right, well kids who were 16, looked old. They had, they did have baids. I remember going there and thinking some of them were teachers. I think he's answered that. Next one, what's the next one? Tattoos and everything. I think their kids in the earlier years even. What do you make of the fact that Maria Carey's 38 million pound payoff has cost EMI staff their jobs? And we're talking 1,800 EMI staff who have lost their job. What do you think that? Yeah, I mean. I mean, is that silly money money, Mar that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that mary that mary that mary that mary that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a their. M. Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. Mary. their thiiary. thiary. thiary. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's a that's a that's She has to dress nice though. It's not her fault. I'd say it's bad business. Because EMI did

you say? Yes. Right? They've got rid of them staff. Mariah Carey's left, who's going to do the work? Do you think Mariah should come back and do some temping? Well, they should have got a loan and paid her. You know what I mean? Vicious Circle, that. Right. Have you done, you don't have done a business degree or anything? You did commerce? Where do you do that?

What did you learn out? I fill out a check. Pay a bill. And uh, I think I had a trip round Kellogg's. Did you get a no level or did you get a CSEC? We know he didn't know. But was there a commerce exam or was it just a division of math? Was it a subset of math? It was an option it was like if you want to do it, you can do it.

What was it? Fill out a check, pay a bill, have a visit right. I went around Kellogs and I sawed their there at the time he sorted me out with some variety packs. Really? What was in them? You know, Rice Crispus and... Good stuff? Co-pop? Space dust or whatever it is. Sorry, that wasn't Ken Dodd, no. That was someone else that was an arm. Yeah, that wasn't special K. Oh, that wasn't special K. Oh, that wasn't that. Yeah. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. Yeah. That wasn't. Yeah. That wasn't. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't. That wasn't special K. Oh dear. What about this then? Home Secretary David Blunkett admits that muggers rule some streets. Weird this, because when I was out with you, I don't believe it's going to be weird, whatever you say, go. When we were in that pub that night and we got talking about muggers and that, the tip is what I tend to do because I nearly got mugged once. You what, you nearly nearly got nearly got nearly got m nearly got mugged. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. that. thi. that. that. thoom. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. the. the. the. the. the. thea. the. thea. thea. the. thea. the. the. the. the.. I nearly got mugged. Yeah. But I tried this technique of acting a bit mental. Right and how did you act mental? Well this guy

wanted me trainers. And I was in Piccadilly Gardens in Manchester. It was quite late one night. And he come up and he said, I want them the trainers. I said you want them me asking and I got a bit livid and I looked at me like oh my God he's got a right one here and he left me were you active mental or were you just mental? No I put it on a bit. Were you not touch a petrified though? Well you don't think about it do you when you're sort of in the eyes of danger? Well not you clearly you're a brave man so what did you say? I just I just went out of mad because he said he wanted the trainers and they were dear ones at the time and I just said no you're not having these so I've crafted you I said I wanted these trainers yeah and you

know went on to tell him how I work out printers and I don't enjoy it and you know I put in all these trainers and I don't they to they they they to they to they they they they to they to they they they to to put they th you th you to to th to they th to put they th they. to put to put to put to put to put in to put in their their their their they're put in to put in to put in to put in to put in their I'm their I'm their I'm their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was put in their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their their their they their their their their their their try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try they try they they they were to cycle home for about five miles. Did he give you his trainers? Yeah. Did you have a knife or anything? No, it didn't get that, didn't get that violent. Well that's very brave for you, Carl. Yeah, it's good. That's a good advice though, just that mental. See, what's it actually not easy being the daughter of a Judy Garland. You don't know what it's like. Finally, apparently there was a crook that got a job, a security job at Heathrow.

Right, he was a crook and he got a job at Heathrow. As robbers steal another 2 million pounds. Apparently security down there is lax. Is that concerned for you? Is this another? Yeah. Two million? Yeah. Why is all this money at the airport? Um, it's those sandwich shops. You know how they're really expensive? The sandwiches in like, when you're a plane? They're like £2 for tuna, which is ludicrous. Yeah. That's basically the reason. What do you mean why is all this money at airports? What is it doing there? Why is it doing there? Why? What? th. What? th. What? th? th? th. What? th? th? th? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that? that? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why, th. Why? Why? Why, the th. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why there? Why do you have a go? No, have a go, answering this yourself. Why is anything at an airport? It's going somewhere.

Or coming in from somewhere. Yeah, but money, you can sort out through the bank, like phone banks and that. Have you done commerce? You know a lot about paying bills and writing out checks. Tell us about Kellogs. What was it like, what was in the factory? Was it just like squashing bits of corn? It's pretty boring really, just loads of conveyor belts, and boxes of cornflakes everywhere, just what you imagine. Yeah. So was it more, this

this is where you're likely to work if you leave school. Possibly, there was two trips, there and the trips of Manchester even news. And I left that early because they had th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. toge. toge. trie. trie.e.e. trie.e.e. trie.e. trie. trips. trips. toge. toge. th. th. trips of Manchester even news. And I left that early because they had a job in Codombrough. It was like a supermarket. Yeah? And I had to leave the trip early and the teacher went mad saying they thought I'd got lost on the, you know, in the building and stuff. What you didn't tell any of it? It was like day two of working in the supermarket and I couldn't be late I thought by the time I explain where I've got to go and everything I'll be even later so I just left and then apparently they were searching the building and everything for me how away stuck in a printer

um I don't know what was the printer's name you worked at a supermarket called cordon blur that's great isn't it it's rubbish oh got sacked you've had what did you get sacked for? Messing about in a, back in the car park round the back. Yeah. It was, there was a grid and all the concrete had gone funny. So when it rains, you got like a big lake. Oh yeah. And I got in, do you know those big metal trollies you get to like, like put all the food in while she did. And I got in one of th. th. th. That th. That th. That th. th. That th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That th. th. th. th. That th. That th. th. That's th. th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. the th. That's th. That's th. th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was. It was. It was. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It was. It was. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was thatea. It was that. It was that. It was thea. It was the. It was that. It was th. It was th. put all the food in while she was. Oh yeah. And I got in one of them and pushed myself out into this lake of cement? No water. It was water. It was water

because it been raining and I got stuck in the middle right and the boss was like where's where's Carl he's meant to be doing you know facing up the beans. And he said you were stranded in a lake and he said get back in a so someone said oh someone I saw I'm filming the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the water that that the water that's the water the water that's the water that's the water was the water was the water was the water was the water was that's the water was that's the water was the water was the water was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was the water was the water was the water was the the water was the the the the the water was the the the the that I was the the that I was the the that I was the the the water I was the water I was the water I was the water I was the water I was the water I was the water I was the water I was the middle of this. I'm a lake in like a trolley. And he said, get back in. Would you say, no, I'm filming sharks. I said, it's too deep. I can't get out, you'll have to pass me something. And he said, I'm not passing you nothing.

He said, you can get out of there and walk through it. I said, I'm not getting out. I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming. I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm the the the the the th. I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm th. I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm th. I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm filming, I'm, I said I'm not getting these wet. I said, this is what you're going to do? I said, I'm going to wait for the water to go down the grid. He said, the grid's blocked. Now get out or you're sacked. I said, well, I'm not getting out. He said, right, you're sacked. So, so you were sacked? How long did you have to wait for the to the tod of to I mean, how did he get himself into that situation? That's fantastic. Should we play a record? Oh, definitely, definitely. That's a joy. Oh, you're an absolute pleasure. More white van man next time on the show.

Electric Soft Parade. I keep trying to get the album for free from Ucar. I've not sorted that. I have to rely on other people to give me a different the different the different the different to me me me me me me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to other people to give me different copies. No, I did try, I'll keep trying. Please do, this is one called There's a Silence, Electric Softbread. Um, Gomez and Shotschart on XFM 1149. Uh, sorry, I was going to tell Steve something. Um, talking about yourselves. Um, when you were out there, um, Johnny Mango ph, I was going to tell Steve something. Talk about yourselves when you were out there. Johnny Mango phoned up and said to Carl, come on when am I going to do this thing? And Carl got all nervous. Right. And he went, he went, he went, you don't want

to do it, he said, well, I just, it's going to get out of the hand. I just wanted to go as high as a tree. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the th. And he th. And he said, the the the. And he said, they. And he said, they. And to to went, yeah, but when the crowd are there and they're all screaming higher, higher, I'll feel the pressure and have to go along with it. Then what crowd? What a crap is it? Higher. No, horror. We don't live in like a medieval here. It's not going to be dancing bears and tumbling midgets. Well, hold on, if has anyone got any of those?

Tomlin' midgets would be amazing. Yeah. Definitely. Less balloons, cheaper to do. Oh, you're going up with them. No, you're going up with them. No, you're going up with it. With a midget under either arm. It's brilliant.

Yeah. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. the time. the time. the time. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Yes. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. ton. This week Carl was studying the life and times of Winston Churchill. What did Churchill do for you? Right, well last week I made a bit of an error with Hitler. Yeah, you just to remember too much and it was way too much for me. So what I've done this week sort of flick through, got a few of them basic facts. And what I've learned, right, a bit weird the way all these the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way their, their, all their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, right? Bit weird the way all these people have something in common that they're all a bit weird when the younger. Okay. Go on. Go on.

Well, you know, Rasputin, he wasn't well as a kid. Yeah. Oh, was it? This is Rasputin the mad monk wasn't well. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Shaguvara. Um, asthma. Asthma, really bad asthma.

Yeah. Hitler, he was only one bit mental. Only one. His mother had a bit mental. That could be labelless. Yeah. And, um, who's we done? And Churchill?

Yeah. Very weak, very weak child. Was he? He only spoke to his dad four times in his old lifetime. Really? Yeah, didn't get on with his dad. Right. And I think one of the times when his dad spoke to him, he was having a go, saying he didn't do as well in the army as he wanted him to. Right. So that's pretty sad bit of it. Yeah, yeah. So that's pretty sad a picture of it. Yeah. So that spurred him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him. So that's him. So that's him. So that's him. So that's him. So that's. So that's. So that's. So that's. So that's. So that's. So that's. So that's. So that's. So that's. So. So. So that's. So. So. So. So that's. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that. that. that's. that's. that. that's. that. He. that. He. I'm not going in all the ins and outs. Very, uh, very important bloke. Okay. No, seriously, I mean, your dad bought the tapes, didn't he? Yes. And I can understand why. Because he did, he did change a lot for us, you know what I mean? We won't be sat here now, talking like this. Why? We could have been German. their tape. thr-We've, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we could, we th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we could, we're, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. at him, right? When it went like, I think was Chamberlain who was in power, and he was like saying, don't be trusting that Hitler.

Yeah. And everyone was like, look, stop causing trouble. The Chamberlain sorted it out. You know, he's sorted out a peace agreement. And he was like, no, I don't trust him. And everyone's like, you know, you're just causing trouble that Hitler that h that h that h that h that h that h that hi that hi that hi that hi, that hi, that hi, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. thus, th. th. th. th. th. th. thrown, thrown, thrown, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, thin. th. thrown, thrown, thin. th. th. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th everyone else is happy then it turned out that Hitler did actually do the dirty yeah and try and come over I remember did did he do something started a war so there was a conflict of some yeah yeah started a problem and everyone went hang on a minute that Churchill knew what he was talking about yeah get him back in sure sure and they got him in and they got him in and Hitler was scared of him because he knew that he wasn't going to be having any lies or anything. He couldn't try it on with Churchill. Yeah, especially when he was a little bit pissed up and coaked and with a big cigar. Churchill? He wasn't that. He wasn't doing that.

I think I think wasn't aware of. If there are any historians listening if I'm wrong I'm sorry. Was that in the world at war? No I don't think so. Any any historians or you know experts on war did Churchill and not some of the other people during I think the first and second world war take a little bit so the so can't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho tho thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho- tho- thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thi thi thi the other people during I think the first and second war take a little bit of cocaine? So when it said that, Doctor certainly used to. Hitler like cakes would they be like the funny sort of cakes? No, he probably did like a little bit of Madeira cake. Sorry, carry on. So anyway. He beat the Bosch. Yeah, did all that. Steady on his personal life's going to do with it. And the most amazing bit is, right, he wasn't fit and he had a couple of strokes.

Well, he's a good looking bloke him anyway. Well, he had a couple of strokes, but he had a stroke on say it. We've had that. He beat the Bosch, he he had like a stroke on a Tuesday. He was up and fighting again on a Wednesday. Really? He was a strong bloke and then he died at about the age of 86 or something. He's good loud, wasn't he? He was really good.

Yeah, so is he the one you favour most of all the ones? I'd say out of all that. I mean, Rasputt I don't understand why he got like I said I don't know why they made a book on him. No no it just didn't deserve it. No no. Shagavara you know he had his time I suppose and did a bit good for certain people. Sure sorted Cuba out doesn't really affect me. No. Hitler I mean enough said. Yeah. Churchill. Churchill sorted it all out. Yeah. So your favorite out of the four of them, the other four is Churchill. Yeah, I think it's brilliant. I agree, I agree with you I think. What I love with your kind of summary of these people's incredible lives is the way that it's

almost like I remember in Lookin magazine, I don't remember looking, it was the junior TV Times. They used to have half a page which was a comic strip, summarizing in someone, You might have say five star, the story of five star and he'd have a picture. I always remember the Roger Moore one was a picture of Roger's parents, Roger was born in 1930 da da da da. Picture of Roger grew up during the war. Picture of Roger running down the street, right? This is a school kid with a fire, their spit fire coming behind him, thi-o th is a th....... th is th is a th Roger th. th. th. th. th Roger the their their thi, I their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoger thi, I was their thi. I always always always thoger was their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their was was was was their was their was their was their was their was a their their their their thri. I was a thri. I was just just just just. I was just. I always always always thrimea. I was th. I always always th. I always always th. I always th. I always th. I always always thri. I was just just. I was just. I was just. I was justry and shoot him. Mr. Smith, surely. Roger took up acting, picture of Roger like acting. Roger became James Bond. James Bond. Roger's now a popular star in his own right and does a lot of work for charity.

Brilliant. It summed up the whole thing and kind of... I think they used to have that in one of the TV times or the same. was born Sarah May Bullock and it was Nutbush City Limits Stop hitting me Ike and then they're simply the best and that was it. It was great. I was really what the, how your summary of great great evances. But I'd say if you didn't know about Churchill you've learned a bit today. I was like, can any, can people call in that, all these, all these fellows taking cocaine? I think I'm right right. the the they. they. they. they. they. they. That's they. That's they. That's they. That's they. That's they. That's they. That's they. That's they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's they. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's was. It's was. It's was. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All the. All. All. All. All the. All. All. All th. All. All the. All the. All the. All the. All the. All the. All the. All the. Alltaking cocaine. I think I'm right. It's 0-8, 700, 800, 1,234. Give us a call, XFM, 104. Did Winston Churchill and various other dignitaries take Coke during the war? During the war, saying up

for the war effort that emergency summits and meetings, I think it's been documented. I could be wrong and let me tell you now, it's not happening today. I'm going. Pete you on there. Wow. Pete you on there. He's there, is me, to save me for Nancy. XFM 104.9. I'm Ricky DeLay's with me, Steve

Merch and the carpool. I'm getting excited now because we've had loads of calls and emails, not only backing me up, but going a little bit further. Apparently, Johnny Manga called in again, he's become our sort of official researcher on this show, that there is evidence that Queen Victoria in Balmorrow with a young house guest Winston Churchill used to consume cocaine-filled lozenges so there go. Also MDMA was a precursor sort of ecstasy a derivative and that that was big in the day giving soldiers you know a little pick me up so it's not so mad is it? It's not so mad is it? It's not making sense

because he was into his speeches and that and they say that Coke gives you sort of you know the balls to stand up and say like... Not that that's a good thing and no no it's not no definitely not no right but it apparently it gives you it makes you confident on it so you can stand up and say, you know, we're going to fight him on the beaches and all that and sound what you mean it? Exactly, yeah, when he was sort of like, you know, a little bit pissed up with his saicara on, coaked off his tits, he wanted to fight. He didn't care. He didn't care where it was, he'd to fight on a beach. He didn't care. He didn't care, he didn't care, he didn't care, he he care, he tha, he tha, he tha, he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say, you was to say, and he was, and he was sort to say, and he was sort to say, and he was sort to say, and he was sort. He was sort to say, you was sort to say, you was sort to to to to their, you was sort, you was sort, you was sort, you was sort. He was sort. He was sort. He was sort. He was sort. He was, you was, you was sort. He was, you was, you was th. th. th. th. th. tho, you was tho, you tho, you thin, you know, he was sort tho. tho. thooo' he was sort of thoo' he was sort of thoooooo' he was sort of thooooooooo. He was sort. He was why he was coming on. He was very much you got to think of him as the Liam Gallagher of his day Yeah, oh dear Have we allowed to talk about this? I mean, I don't mean in terms of referencing drugs, but are we loat? Is this like libel us to Winston Churchill? One you can't libel the day. Two it's a lot of it's only in America. I'm asking and we're not saying. We're not. We're not. We're not. We're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I. I're. I. I. I. I. I're. I're. I. I. I're not. I're not. I're. I. I're. I're. I're. I. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I're. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. to. I'm. to. to. to. I'm. I'm. to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. do also a fair comment. For we say we were joking, four it's a satire. Five we love him.

Five we're not condoning drugs in any way. Sixth is he's doing an O'Leary show. I didn't have a go at him anyway, that's it all right. There's any law against Rasputt we might be in trouble. Law against him. You did willfully raspute. All over the airways. You can slag off Russia's greatest love machine. Yeah, yeah. You didn't shoot him till he was dead, did you?

Oh. Put some poison into his voice. I'll tell you, if there's any other historical questions that people won't answer then, we're the men. The Hindenburg was filled with helium. Yeah. The kind of coke habits and various drug habits of Britain's most famous political leader. We've got the answers to all of it. Einstein. Go on. I found out in the week that he didn't talk to the he was six.

So it's all these people who are weird. Churchill couldn't read, could he? So he was like eight or nine. Really? Yeah. Well there you go. He had a he got a D in history apparently yes yes he. Just one better. No but Carl called me in the week and he was a little bit stressed because he's had a couple of he's had a bad week now he's got stressed about Hitler and and Churchill and I said well we're chill out a little bit and I teach him something a little bit cosier and I said like what about animals no you know you know fry any other animals you're interested in animals aren't you? You know and and he

went all right then all right then and then he went okay is a question for you theyre and then he went there's three their theirs he said there's three I thoes he said the jellyfish worms and I went I'm the single-celled prozoa periphorous but I the the they I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they went I they they they went I they went I they they they they they they they went I they went I they went I they went I they went I they went I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they went, there's not, there's three, I went, there's loads, I said, jellyfish, worms, single cell protozoa, peripherous, but he went, oh, what are you talking about? Animals, what are you talking about? Animals, I went, they are animals, they're proper animals. And I went, do you mean, do you mean mammals? Are these animals, have they got legs and are they fur bearing, right? And he went, one is, they've got legs and I went, I don't know, I give up. He went, right, the turtle, I went, right, yeah.

And he went, and the bumblebee. You said, that's the one with fur. That's the one with fur. The one, huh. What are you thinking? What is in your head? thu? thu? thu? thu? the thu? thu. thu. the thu. thu. thu. thu. the thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thi, thu. thu. thu. thi, thi, thi, thi, thu. And, thu, thu. And, thu, thu. And, thu. And, thu. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi? And, thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? the thi. And, thi. And, the the thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, they's, thi. And, they's, they's, they's, they're, they're, they're they're thi. And, thi. And, they're the one with fur. The walnut. What are you thinking? What is in your head, Carl? Which has got the most fur, a bee or a turtle? It's not fur. What is it? Well it's, it's, you know, it's pseudo-hares, isn't it? It's like a hair. It's a keratin thing. It's not like we have, like mauls grow fur. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. He's not convinced! It's, it. It. It's. It's. It's. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the the the the the the the the the the the the most, which, which, the the the the the the the the the most, the most, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's the most, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's, th. It's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thi. It's thi. It's thi, thi, their thi. It's a hair, it's a keratin thing. It's not like we have, like mammals grow fur. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. He's not convinced. So go on on.

When we say that, we say like fur, mammals are warm-blooded creatures, often usually percent or as a few exceptions, right, that give their milk to their young, and they're a thunigh they're fur. Fear about Oster's? Oster's? Oysters. Um, they, they're one minute they're a man, then they're a woman, then they're a man again. Like Eddie Izzard. Now that's, that's libelous. He's a transvestite, could I say? He's not a transsexual. Let's say OP's fables. No, but you had some more facts you told me

that were Dead Good, I just wondered if Steve knew him. What? What do you want to know? The ones that you read out to me? You had, um, you had one about a, uh, the spikey thing. Go on, porcupine? Give me a clue. How many spikes has a pockin got? Don't it. thrown. th you thu-I thu thu th thu thu th thu thu th th thu th th th th thu thu thu thu thu thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho tho tho thu thu. What thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. What thi. What th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu. What the the the the the the the the the to the the to to the to thea thea thea thea thea the the the the the the was about 10,000 but these aren't the most interesting facts are they? It's alright. It's alright though, isn't it? Yeah and he went but how can they say that? You could say that you know we've got a certain amount of hairs on our head I went 10 hundred thousand average he went yeah but I haven't so how do we know that that porcupine that they've counted is the same same for all all all all all all th. thininin thin they've thin they've thin they've thin thin thin they've thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that tho tho tho tho the they've the. the. they've the. they've the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee they're they're they'reine that they've counted is the same for all of them. Might have had alopecia. Yeah, yeah, you might be a particularly hairy one. You know what a fable is?

Do you know what a fable is? I've got a rough idea. Okay, it's a thing that uses sort of metaphor analogy just to explain sort of morals. I mean, they're very very very old for a start and it's all things. I'll give an example of one. Oh a quick one. Oh the one about the dog with two bones. He goes to a dog's got a bone and he sees reflection in the lake and he thinks oh that dog's got a nice bone. I love that and as he goes to get that one they're in the reflection he drops the one he's got and that. and that. and that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. And that's th. And th. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. I's they. I's they. I've to to to to to to to to to to their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. the. their. their. their. their. their. theinks all that dog's got a nice bone I'll have that and as he goes to get that one the reflection he drops the one he's got and that's one about you know I think I was told one when I was younger go on I think it was one this young lad he's got a dog right and he's sort of he's about eight years old and this dog he's added since he's about four and it's a bit tired now and it's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a he's a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he he he he he the the the the the the the the the th the th the th the th the thin. the the the th the th thr- the tho. the th thr- he's that that that that that bit tired now and it chuck sticks for it and he doesn't go for it. And he's saying to his ma'am, oh, I want a new dog. Because

this one's useless, it doesn't do what, you know, it doesn't have any fun with me. So they say, oh no, but you know, Rove is a good little dog, she running around, yapping about and he's loving it and he's playing around with it in the grass. And then one day he goes to the park and he's messing about and rolling about with it and he falls into the lake and the little puppy is like yapping at him and he's going, help me, help me, little dog's yapping. And then the old dog comes and gets his collar and it pulls him out of the lake and he goes, oh God, you know, why did I forget about you, you're the better dog. And he loved that one again rather than the puppy.

I've got a feeling that was Lassie. Well, yeah, that was an episode of Lassie. What was the moral there, what's I remember there was what I heard once about, a young boy who got trapped in a lake inside a cage. A cage. But he loved to train so much. He wasn't going to get them wet. But even though he had to go out there.

And even though he thought that was the important thing because it no good to him then. I'll say well. I don't know. I want to clear a couple of things up. I've had to say I told you so. Now I want to clear a couple of things up. Obviously me and Steve, we love Carl. This is not, the things we give Carl to read and talking is not to embarrass him or stress him out at all. We genuinely like his view of the world. In fact we did an interview yesterday with a bloke from the standard. He really like

the show and said do you like Carl. Because you take the piss out of him a lot and you know we just like to say we love Carl. I said to that. I said to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. the the. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. they. the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. try. try. try. try. try. try. to. to. to. to. to. to. they. S. I. to that book, I said it's like I've got a new kitten. I can't wait to get in and see his little face on Saturdays, didn't I? Yes. And I think I'm worried because I thought I'd give Carl something he was really get his teeth into with these Esop fables. It involves animals and little stories. But I've given him a couple and he doesn't seem to be that in the concept. It's just I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've I've I've I've the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. I'm theeeeeeee. I'm the. I've the. I the concept of what. It's just that you'd bring in an animal fact book as well, and I can't see that anywhere. No, well you can only read one book at a time, can't you? So why didn't you bring the other one in first? Well, it's big. I've got to work my way up to it sometimes. I'll probably have to get a cab because it's a bit big. Now listen, I'll give it, I, I, I, I, I, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, thi. Why, why, thi, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, hidden, they're not that cryptic. Just think what this means, okay?

When the hairs addressed a public meeting and claimed that all should have fair shares, the lions answered, a good speech, hairy feet, what do you think that means? This is this translated from the, I don't know, Greek or something, I don't know. It was Esop. Where is he from? Greek. Yeah.

So, you know, it, should I do it in my own language? Okay, so what would happen if there's there's hairs, and they have a meeting in the jungle with like loads of lions and go, hey hold on, wait a minute, I think we should all be equal and share everything, and the lions go, well, yeah it's easy for you to say, we've got claws and teeth. What does that mean? It's saying like, of course the hairs want that, because it's better for them. The lions get nothing out of it, their lion, because, because, thion, thion, thion, thion, thin, thi, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thiiii. thiii. thiii. thi. th right. So it's negotiating from weakness. Anyone can negotiate from strength, but negotiating from weakness is your, it's, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's lovely, utopian look at the animal kingdom. But the way you said it is better than the way they worded it. But that's because Ricky's very much the modern Lisa. I mean many people have thought that. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thean, thiii. thoan, anyone, thiiiii. Anyone, anyone, anyone, anyone that's that's that's that's that's that's that's because Ricky is very much the modern decent. I mean many people have thought that.

You know that's why he's getting a lot of awards with the TV show. But here that's a thing. So look, hey I'll take that home and read ones you like and tell me about the ones you like. One's that click. I don't care if you only come because sometimes you can all these phrases and until some happens you don't you don't think you know everyone's heard you know to I don't know to air as human to forgive divine but and then some you know might happen do you go oh that's what that means that's amazing so you know

do you know any Steve I found what was that a fable well I would imagine that that that the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that the the that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that? A fable. Uh, well I would imagine the most famous one I've always remembered, it is the, uh, you know, the lion with the, uh, the thing in its hoof. Do you remember that? The lion, yeah, with the spike in its paw, and a smaller animal gets out for it, but it still attacks it anyway. Well that's life, isn't it? I read one the other day actually which was very interesting. It was one that the famous film director Orson Well said, Oh yeah. But she said, apparently there was a bear going across a lake, wading through the lake. And a scorpion said, well let me go on your back call you?

Come on, just let me go on your back. He goes, well no, you're just sting me. He was alright, fair enough. Who was doing the stinging? The scorpion. And the bear is wading through the water. So the scorpion jumps on the back and they wade through the water and halfway across the scorpion stings the bear. And the bear goes, we're both going to die there. He goes, yeah, it's my nature. I thought he was. I thoughtthat mean anything to you? It's my nature, i.e., you know that's my nature. That's what I do. Yeah, I'm a scorpion. Yeah, one of my favorite ones. These don't mean anything to you, do they? I mean, what I'm saying, you're not impressed by them? They're all right. What about bears? The bear is the one that was too trustworthy.

Don't trust scorpions. Right. It's one of my favorite ones of all time, okay. A lion is dying, is an old lion, he's in the front of his cave, and all the animals come around, like the foxes and the hyenas, and the rabbits, and they're all taking the piss out of thua, and thua, and thua, and thua, and th an, and th an, and th an, and th an, and thu, and thu, and thu, and thu, and their, and thi, thi, thi, the, thi, their, their, the, thi, thi, their, the, the, the, is, is, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they., they. And, is one, is one, is one's, is one's, is one's, is one's, is one's, is one's one's one's one's one just before he dies he goes fine but I was a lion once. What does that mean? Don't know. Well he's saying it's better to have lived and had what I had because I was I was great if only for a short time and you lot are still alive but you're nothing. You're, your rabbits and hairs hairs I was a lion once so you know.

Are they always using animals for these stories? Well yeah I could I could change it to refrigerators and household appliances if it and make it help but animals you know I remember the one about being ill a lot and you say something about you know if you keep doing that if you keep having time off what I won't believe you that that's the boy cried wolf yeah yeah do you know have you heard the famous well this is possibly the most powerful one when you're pulling a face and they say well if you can't do that well if you know that's scientifically proven that is that can't happen that can't do that, the wind changes. You know that's scientifically proven? That is.

That can happen. That can happen. Should we have hip-hop hurried for that? No, but go on, you, uh... Carl, sort of, mate. I was gonna... No, come on, this is what I asked you to play, you've not, you know, you're too, you know, with the big name, you're not playing, you're not playing, you're not playing, you're not, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's that, that, that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, that, that, that, that, that, th.. favorite. Yeah. Okay so, um... Oh, you drop that. You know, that's clumsy.

You know, you know, with the big thing. I can't believe you're not, oh, fables are great. He's not impressed, is he written? I am. I mean, you know, once I get, took this book home tonight and that, never have a read. I might change my mind on them next week. you've been talking about I must admit. Okay, okay. Okay, this album is by this group nerd who are big hip-hop and R&B producers in the States. We've played a track from them in the past Bobby James. This album's been re-recorded. I don't know why exactly. With live instruments, you don't get any R&B and hip-hop records now with live instruments. So it's pretty... So computers, isn't it, Steve? And there is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. true. true. true. true. tra, we're tra, we're tra, we're tra, we're tra, we're trap trape, we're trape, we're trap trap trap, we're trap, we're trap, we've trap, we've tr. We's tr. We's tr. We's tr. We's tr. We's tr. We's tr. We's tr. We's tr. We's tr. We're tr. We're tr. We're th. We're true. We're true. We've true. true. true, we've true, true, true, th. true, true, true, th. true, true, true, true, we've true. th. thi. rock star I'm not going to play that I'm gonna play a track two things are gonna get better

yeah well I think that's just time for some interesting facts that Johnny Mango our researcher from a loose control dot com has emailed us a few to stay sadly we're not here to stay Steve we've got about two more minutes that's true enough yeah, favourite ones of yours I think. Any ones I don't know though? I don't, I think you know this one, that your pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? I know. And a pig can't actually look directly up.

When the thoughts are off of 30 minutes of coming? Absolutely. Daddy, be careful here. That's incredible. Remember what happen to that? that. that. that. that. That's. that's. that's. I. that's. I. that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I that's. I that's. I that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I......................................................................... for pleasure? Bonobos do as well they've rediscovered. Which is a... Benob? Yeah, a chimpanzee, like a chimpanzee. Right. So it's three now. I can't believe dolphins are getting more actually. They're three. They're all at it now. They're all at it now. Yeah. Polar bears are left handed. Yeah. Yeah, they probably just do it. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah... Yeah.. Yeah..... Yeah................ Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah..-handed. Yeah. I don't quite know how they work that out. Did they give them spelling tests? The writing tests?

Oh yeah, they'd probably just do it. It's probably the poor they use to hide up the black nose during a hunt. Of course. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. Yeah, not every day of the years you do it 50 times? What is it? It's coming up to it. It's April, isn't it?

You'd like to get out of there. I have a special day, yeah. Maybe we could coincide that with the balloon event. It would just be me, be me quietly humping All the proceeds go to charity. If you are a desperate lioness. Exactly. Butterflies taste with their feet. I didn't know that. Interesting. I didn't know that.

That is interesting. But they don't eat much, do they? Because they only live a day. Good point. They wouldn't need to eat. An ostrich's eyes. extraordinary. That is yeah. And the car, how big are your eyes? Cruel. Finally, I think we've discussed this before, haven't we? A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. Yeah, it's only because it can't get water and food yet. It would be quite happy

going around doing his normal thing. I mean, probably can work. If you're just as good without your head. May's not have a head. I just, I don't see th. I the th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I that's that's th. th. that's. that's. that. that. that. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. that's. that. that. that's. that. thi. th. thi. th. your head. Mays we'll not have a head. I just, I don't see the point. Well, that was, thanks to Johnny Magler there of, what's his website called? Uh, who's turned into a sort of a volunteered researcher? Yeah, he's very fast. Lose Control. Can I just say, as well, we've, there's those people there. Well I'm gonna again, we're talking earlier about you're not caring about being like a geek or a freak or not trendy. I'm not trendy, I know yeah and I'm gonna play a bit of an easy listening. I apologize there's people who still to to to tune to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their to their their their their their their their their tune. We're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their their their very old-fashioned lovely tune. It's bread. I hope you enjoy it. Ladies gentlemen please welcome to the stage. Bread.