The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S1E20 (April 13, 2002)

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

The show ran between September 2001 and May 2002 before Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film the second series of ‘’The Office’’. Initially, Pilkington’s on-air presence was relatively minimal compared to what it would become. Gervais and Merchant only occasionally called for Karl to weigh in with his thoughts, while the two mostly talked to each other, with the “links” between songs comprising only about 30 minutes of the show’s 2-hour run time.As Pilkington’s personality moved to the forefront, the talk portion of the show expanded to roughly an hour per 2-hour broadcast. While the show relied largely upon a stream-of-consciousness format, Pilkington made attempts to keep things more conventional by insisting on running contests and airing pre-recorded segments and regular “features”.

New order and here to stay on XFM 104.9 well we're here to stay aren't we Steve? True enough. Well for another four weeks anyway then we're off the formal shows then have to order a new DJ or all right? That was genius. Oh wow it's a simple as that. I'm Ricky Jemais Steve Mitchell and Carl Pilkington. Oh man. Did anyone read the Guardian yesterday? It was Steve's big tea, we were interviewed together. I've never been interviewed before in the paper. I've certainly never had my photo in a national thing. We were very excited. We loved it. We loved we talked really fast, like school kids. We were excited. It was a great interview and

all the way through it was Ricky Juvai's who is writing partner Steve Mitchell. Stephen Mitchell. It's not even like Merchant. He phoned me up the night before and he was cutting. I know how he said it's awful. And it was big letters and just all the way through in the caption and it's just like, oh God. But it's embarrassing. But it's embarrassing, it's like I was like, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he ph. He, he phoned. He phoned. He phoned. He phoned. He phoned. He phoned. He phoned me, he phoned me, he phoned. He phoned me, he phoned me, he phoned me, he phoned me, he phoned me, he phoned me, he, he phoned me, he ph and then that just draws attention to the fact that I'm not a celebrity and consequently they can't even remember my name.

But the worst thing was that one of my favorite songs of all times I said in there was blood on the tracks by Bob Dylan and I said because you know I think one of the most beautiful songs ever is if you see her say hello and of course these people were sort of transcribing it you know a dictor. If you see a sailor. Hello? Fruity. Bob, Bob drillboids. Plop on the trab and where's the sailor gone to? With Ricky Jouais and Steve Lamychlings. I don't know, they must have thought my name was Mitchell all along. They obviously never knew. The evidence is there. I don't know why. It was like they reported in the paper that we'd be nominated for a Sony and it said Ricky Givais who hosts the breakfast show on XFM and it's that sort of, it's just

guessing. It's like, presumably someone's gone, does he have some of the show? Someone's gone, does he have some, does he have some research done? Yeah, and that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their. And that's that's that's their. And their. And that's that's their. And that's their. And that's that's their. And that's that's their. And that's their. And that's their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And that's their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And their. And. And their. And. And that's, their. And that's, their. And their. And the office set in Swindon. That's someone going, just writing an article about the office. Where's it set? Swindon, I think. Is it? Yeah. Okay, that I do. Yeah. Yeah. Even we research the show now and again, don't we?

Even we look things up, well, that. the fellow's name. or something. Phone in if you remember what his name is. Yeah. James, James at Lose Control. Yeah, what's his surname though? Oh for goodness sake, this is just going to be interesting to him and his friends. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You remember? We better play another record.

Yes. Johnny Mango. Mango that's it, yeah. Now if you like Alaskostello's Alito. Or maybe freeze, freeze my brother Jay. One of my favorites. Stay tuned. Badly drawn boy, silent sie and crack-in tune. X-FN, 104.9. Maybe there'd be a few silent sighs around London on the 4th of May when that's it.

We're off the air for 20 months. Yeah. Wow, you're really getting into the DJ patter today. Yeah. Jay Pater today? Yeah, brilliant. Yeah, it's only taken, what is it, five years? Yeah. Now you're finally as good as Foxy. Coming up, yes, that anecdote that Carl didn't get to last week about Neil Armstrong. I can't wait. It's because he took three links telling us about the horse. Yes, of course. The horse? Think of that. I went out with Carl on Thursday right. It was one of the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most th. thii. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I. I. th. I. th. I. thi. I. I. I. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. on Thursday night. Right. It was one of the most enjoyable nights. I, I, we just, I had like, went out for about, what, five or six pints, a little crawl, and

adventures happened around Carl. And just me sitting talking to him was just incredible. I'm thinking that a competition would be win a pint with Carl. Yes. They just, they just have to go for a point and they can ask him anything they want. He's just, he's just great. We met on my friend, didn't we? Tell him all about that. Yeah? What? Did you enjoy it as much as Ricky, Carl? Yeah, there was things I learned as well, which was good. You know his mate, Robin, don't you? I'll discuss that later. I've tell you later. He's got all his near-death experiences to come, win a point and of course coming up, Carl's homework was the quotes and Carl's come up with a great idea

to show that anyone can do quotes. He's invented a thing like faking it where he's got two real quotes right and he's made one up. And he's going gonna fall as I I bet we won't be having it. Brilliant. Sorry what was the challenge last? Look him looking at us. What's the matter with you? It's just like before you were like now this is good for you. But now it's turned into a game. At your expense? Yeah. Have you only just stormed on you? Carl? I'm joking. It's great honestly, it's really good. What was the Carl challenge last week? You said it, I thought we did the quotes last week. No, but um, I gave him a, um, happiness. It's all about happiness. And what, uh, the pursuit of happiness and it's in sort of like quote form and everything. But, um, Kyle's gonna do a couple of ones and faking it, the, to show, I mean, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I, I, I th, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, th. th. th. tho, I th. I th. I tho, I th week as well now he comes up with something he goes that's a fabe isn't it? And he tells me the

so he's he's getting good now if you play another track or if you got something you got something special I've bought in um I saw um I was still um I saw um I was a guitar on Jonathan Ross got the week. Listen this is guitar sound. It's so beautiful. My aim is true to provide quality entertainment of a Saturday. That was Albus Xcelain and his attractions and Allison on XFM 104. I'm Ricky Joveys. Steve Mitchell here and Carl Pilkington. Oh. I I am. It's going all right. I obviously been doing so acting as some acting, as you know, I mentioned it last week, doing this, uh, this sort of comedy pilot. This week, how, you're going to be loving this. I've been doing stunts. I've been doing, stunts.

I swear to God I've been doing my own stunts we didn't bring that up. Were you anywhere near that horse? No, fine let's carry on. And we, I had to, my character has to commit suicide and he has to sort of leap off a building. So the first shot... Don't think that's something for comedy. Well we were up on a roof and obviously they had the crash mats and stuff and I had to kind of leap off and land on the mats and stuff and obviously I was petrified the whole time because I was wearing my glasses. I was petrified that they might get broken so I was like not really doing it properly and kind of leaping like like what you know people who when they can't dive into their swimming pool and so they put that one foot that you could never get into fights? No I can never get into fights or go in a mosh pit because of my glasses. I've missed out in life because I can't, because if I was

in a fight and I say come on then you are, you know, and I was in a puble sink, they just have to whip off with glasses, just knock them off I'm done for them off I'm done for you. I've got a lot of nothing. Are you really short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I? I? I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that's that's that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's that. I. I. I's that. I's that. I's that. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I've. I've. I'm. I'm. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's it? And the fact that they're just a blur is bang the hand for my otherwise brilliant, you know, ninja skills. So yeah, I've never got into a fight, never been in a fight at all. I've never been in a mishapin. So this was making me sort of a bit worried. And anyway, so then I think, well, I've got it. I've got, to be fine. I've done my stunt. And I've, and everyone. And I've, they. And everyone. And everyone. And everyone. they. they. they. they. to. they. to. they. to. they. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never. I've never to. I've never got. I've never got. I've never got. I've never got. I've never got never got. I've been been been to. I've been to. I've never got. I've never been to. I've never been the the the'm thinking I've done my stunts now there's a crane I think what's going on here now they need to shoot me like I've already done the stunt where I've sort of leapt off the building now they've got actually see me falling right so I have to get strapped in with this huge belt and they click wires on to me and they hoist me about 30 40 foot into the air on this wire and I have to and then then then then then then then they they they they they they they they they they dropped and they dropped and they dropped and they dropped and they dropped and they dropped and they dropped and they dropped and they dropped they dropped and they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they dropped they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the the you know, it was partly acting. Glasses on? Glasses, by this time I'd managed to get some wire fixed on my glasses so they wouldn't come

off my head. I assure you they were stunt glasses. They were doing their own stunts? Yeah, okay. So, um, so they hoisted me into atized to it. And they get me about 30 feet up and they got this huge crush mats like those great big ones you always see kind of stunt people have. And they sat at the camera and stuff down below and while I'm up in the air dangling there, they removed those crash mats and they removed thin mats and they replaced them with those really thin ones that you always see like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the...... So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, they. So, they. So, they. they. they. they. they. So, they. So, they. So, they. And, they. So, they. they. they. their. thein ones that used to have at school, right? And I'm looking down at this, I'm thinking now, they may have sort of shouted up,

if you for, you're done for, but we might be able to protect the equipment. Do you mean, it was so rubbish. But you weren't going to land on the floor, presumably. Well, the idea was stuff, they had to, they had to better do it. But anyway, what was particularly joffil, is one of the other actors pointed this out, right? This is the, um, this is the health and safety statement from the stunt guys, right? And they obviously have to write up this health and safety statement about how they do it. And it says we confirm that we have proper safety safety safety safety safety safety safety, to to to the safety, to the, to comply, to comply, the, the, to comply, the, the, the, the, to comply, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, do anything which compromises the health, safety and welfare of your production crew, actors or members of the public. If the above situation changes will advise you immediately. I mean if they think that maybe they do want to hurt members of the public.

Look at that fat one over there just try and hit her and bring him down. Don't worry about that one. Yeah, she can take it. So that reassured me obviously. And now. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, ed with pain. Limbs, arms, head, neck. Unbelievable. Well it's a shot worth having. You probably not. You'll wish you... You know what the cameraman whispered to me? The camera whispered to me you probably never use it. Yeah, Steve, you'll wish you hadn't told that wimpy tale when you hear three, just three random tales of near-death experiences that Carl told me right coming up I mean honestly really at least you had stunt people and crash mats yeah you get paid yeah the things that he got up to just through stupidity well we'll put you just what what what one of them wasn't through

stupidity cakes I'm already excited. The cake one? Yeah. Which one's that? Sorry, you had a near-death experience involving a cake? I've got the paper round, the Nick in Slate, and the Mr. Freeze. What's the cake one?

Yeah, I suppose. Look at the cream cake. Oh, yeah. Right, now you're talking in riddles. Do you have these next? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Play the record. Cooper Temple Clause. Who and each enemy? Good question, lads. Nobody. Sex F. M. 104. No, I'm Ricky DeVosy. Oh, they should print a little book of those. They're great. Oh, how you can relate any song or artist.

To anything else. Easy, easy. Well, yeah, so me and me and Carl went out for a beer and it was great, wasn't it? Yeah, we started off and you met my mate, Robin, didn't you? And some of the stories, do you want to tell Steve some things about Robin? Do you know him well? Yes. Well, um, do you know about his worm problem as a kid? Go on. Right. What I can remember is he had worms as a kid. Not sure how he got him. He never answered me. He was getting a bit touchy about it.

This is like the second time I met him. I think he was a bit annoyed that Ricky told me about his problem. Now, now straight away, you not being there instinctively, what do you think went on with this story about where my suspicion? Yeah is rather like when you told a group of people that Robin had once suckled milk from a cow's udder. Yeah. Did you mention that as well? Yeah. My suspicion is that like the cow story the worm story is not true. But why would he get so sort of uppity about it? Well imagine if that wasn't the first time he'd done it. Imagine if he did that every single time he was with somebody for the first time and Robin was just met them. He tells that he will tell that story to anyone. But they do say there's no smoke without fire. For Robin! I also told him that the way Robin cured these worms was because the doctor told his mother,

right, to hold a piece of ham or cheese near Robin's anus so the worms would come out for the food and he believed it. I say why though. I said Robin used to sit on spam to try and get the worms out and he believed it. But Steve, right, do you remember that story about three or four years ago where there was some bloke in the army, he went away to somewhere, Vietnam or whatever, he was messing about in the woods. He was messing about in the woods?

Shouldn't he have been fighting? Whatever, right? And he walked through some lake and I think he'd cut his toe or something on something. And some worm, someled in the in the gash yeah and it was in his body and the doctor said we've got to get this out of your body so what they did was they said right the thinest part of your body that things can crawl through is on the top of your head so they wrapped where the skull is so they didn't! He did. That's that throw.

So he's gone in via the toe. So what we do is, I'll tell you what, that worm's probably heading straight for the head. We put a bit of bacon on it. The thinest part of the body, the skull, of course it's not a thinest part of the body. It's where your brain cases, isn't it? The the the the the the the th is the th is thwha wa thwha tha wa wa's the hard, the skull. There was a reason for it and it was like they stuck some bacon on his head. As ever, the vital piece of information, i.e., the reason, Carl seems to have forgotten. Because the worm was in his body and he said everyone likes to smell

a bacon. Oh, including a worm. Even a Vietnamese lake worm. They, they, they, they, oh, they, oh, they, remember last week when I said about the little fellow with the bone with no brain and you were proved wrong. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We were saying it wasn't a little feller. We were saying it was a stillborn child. It wasn't a little fella. You're changing it now now.. Let's, let, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, the, remember, the, the, remember, the, remember, the, remember, the, remember, the, the, the, remember, the, the, remember, the, the, remember. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, remember, was, was, remember, was, remember, was, was, remember, remember, remember, was, remember, was, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, remember, wasn't, little fellow. You're changing it now. You weren't having any of it. Right, hang on a minute. Let's just, I'm getting confused. There was a Vietnamese, there wasn't a Vietnamese snake that went inside a soldier. A little maggot or some sort, like you have

to get out of your body because it causes problems. Yes. And so in order to get it out of the body, they strapped bacon to his head. That is great. This doctor. And did this. This. This doctor. This doctor. This. This doctor. I I I I I I that. This doctor. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.. They had a picture of him smiling. Oh, what, the worm or the bloke? The bloke. Oh dear. Honestly, I hope someone knows a story. Right. It was about three years ago, I reckon. Okay. Yeah, it did work. Gio bacon. So this is why I, I, I, when, and so what the worm borrowed out of his head to get the bacon. Get to the bacon. the bacon. the bacon. the bacon. the bacon. the bacon. the bacon. the bacon. the bacon. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. the, the, the, the, the, um, the, um, the, the, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the worm borrowed out of his head to get the bacon.

Get to the bacon. Right. Um, um. That's great. So this is why when Robin was telling his story I was a little bit disappointed if it wasn't true. Right. Because in a way.

You know Robbins never been to be that? No. What I would do you really think that Robin, as Robin said at the time, Carl, why would I sit on ham then tell Ricky Javais? It's a very good point. Because if he was a kid, you do have things like that as a kid. Right. He's the telling Ricky Joveys though. Yeah.

And then, oh, bless him. And then, then, then, then, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the the the. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the. the, the, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the, the, the. Oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. Oh, the. Oh, th. Oh, to. Oh, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tried to chase him but he got away and he knows, yeah. And then we had a few pints and then Carl embarked on some of the greatest stories ever told. Can you tell the story about your dad? Let me run it, I haven't spoke to him all week, so let me run it dying. Okay, play records. What we got? We've got one of Steve's to... Yeah, bizarrely this comes from the Teachers 2 soundtrack to the current TV series. There's a slight whiff of nepotism in the air.

Rick, would you like to explain why? Well that's why you're doing it. My girlfriend worked on it. Yeah, but you were going to play this anyway, weren't you? Well I was actually bizarre enough, I was going to play some I am clut, as I say It's a good track. Clute, a track called 2U from the teacher's soundtrack. It's also got, I noticed the electric soft parade, the hives, star sailor, feeder, touring the true break, smoky rev on there. It's a good little collection. Lovely.

Carl has just had confirmation. He's looking smart because someone phoaned and went, it. It is true. bacon around your head. That's all the bloke knew as well. Yeah. And his name was Gary. Yeah. So I'm not having it. No. And he said, he said, see, that's why the Robin thing isn't so weird. He said, but when you said he tried it with cheese, he said I was having none of it. Strokes, hard to explain. Like Carl, really? Coll. to the worm with the bacon round the head, th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. the thi. thi. the the the thi. thi. And he's th. And he's. And he's. And he's. And he's. And he's. And he's. And he's. And he's. And he's. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And, th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the th. And the th. And the the the the th. And the th. And the they. And th. And the. And th. And he's. And the. And th. And the. So, we'll leave the worm with the bacon wrap round the head, shall we? Well, if you're ever caught in the jungle. Yeah, always carry some... A bit of Danish.

Lovely. So, would you like to start on your... To Steve, because I've heard all these. We won't do them all. Well, well, we'll start off with the Mr. Freeze. Tell Steve the story of Mr. Freeze. This is the first time he nearly died. This is the most serious of the lot really so what it was, do you know like, I don't know if your mom and dad did the same thing but like they do the weekly shopping on like a Friday. So when you got to Thursday they wouldn't be much stuff left in athe cupboard it'd just be like you know your Jacob's crackers and stuff like that. So when they'd when they'd been to

the supermarket and he came back I was like you know what's that saying like a pig in you know I loved it it was like loads of food coming in loads of biscuits what is that saying he nearly said pig and shit right is that's the same right so um so yeah all this food comes in. Like God, he didn't. Otherwise he'd have been in trouble. That's true enough. Because he's culpable for our actions because he's not producer. So technically, that twats in charge. Go on.

Right, so anyway, so there's loads of food and I'm like. Just in case you never know. So anyway my mom and dad's putting the food away. Me and our kid are like, he's already grabbed something gone back upstairs. It's like feral children. It's like a quest for fire. And then they ran upstairs. What did you sit under the bed? Nawing at some sort of pig's trotter. So, so I saw, do you remember Mr. Freeze pops? I do. Yeah, so they're they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were the they were the the their their their their their their their th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. What did th. W. W. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to. the. to. the the the the. the the. the the. the. the. the. th. um do you remember Mr. Freeze pops? I do yes well they're kind of like popsicles icicles but yeah but really long like I thought I'll have one of them so I grabbed it went for the nutritious stuff first absolutely and like my mom dad are putting the stuff away and what have you and I rip it open and knock it back right straight away just right but it went down

the wrong way right so I So I was like, oh God, I can't breathe and my mom and dad didn't even know what I'd hett, do you know what I mean? I ate it so quick. And I'm sort of tapping my mom on the back going, oh God, you know he's choking again because I was always choking. If it was one thing I don't know if I got like a small throat but I mean even Ricky knows I can't drink that much can I? Do you know I'm not a quick drink drink I'd always I think I'm scared of like swallowing stuff yeah and it was like bottle tops and mint imperioles and stuff was always choking on stuff. So anyway so anyway so anyway she's going oh God what he picks up on that now? th. th. the the th. the the the th. the the th. the th. the the th. Oh the he? he? he? he? I he? I he? I he? I he's he? I'm he's he. I'm he. I'm he. I'm hea. I'm he's hea. I'm hea. I'm hea. I'm hea. I'm hea' hea' hea' hea' hea. I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I he. I I I I he. I I I I I I I I he. I I I I I he. I's I I I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's I's he. I'm he. I's he's he's th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. I'm t. I'm God, what's he picked up on that now? Drop it, drop it. It is his nose with the stick. So I was going, I'm choking. At this point

my dad had like, I think he'd put his share away, you know, his food away and he'd gone to watch, like, he'd gone to watch like, winner takes all away in a lounge. I was I was starting to like, just, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't thin, I don't, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't thin, I don't, I don't to watch like, winner takes all over in a lounge. And I was in the kitchen and I was starting to like, just, I didn't care anymore. Do you know what I mean? I hadn't, I just got to that point where I wasn't struggling anymore. You just saw what I'm done for. And my mom's going, you know, getting here, I thin. And my mom's going, you know, I to get get, to get, to get, to get, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, they. they. the, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. to, just, just, just, I. to. to. to, I'm, I'm. to. to, I. to. I, I, I didn't, I to, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, just, just, justthat's what you get for being greedy. They didn't even know what I'd eaten. Well it was the moment to teach you a lesson, certainly.

So he's there like that and my mom's going, oh look at him and the lips were going purple and the eyes were rolling into the back of my head. And so anyway, so anyway she grabbed me and it came up and I was all right. What the whole popsicle came flying back out? I don't, you see that's what I don't understand because there's nothing there. No just a little bit no it swells up doesn't it because it irritated it so he went down your just sort of like your epiglotus it went down the wrong way like and it went into your air canal instead it sort of it sort of it so it sort it sort it sort it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort it sort the. It sort it sort it sort sort sort sort sort it sort of it sort of it sort th. It's sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it. it sort. it. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort. it sort the. it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it sort of it sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort of it. It sort th. It sort of spasms and that's the thing you've got to calm it down and relax. So in time I would have been alright. Well no you might have.

So that's so so so hang on. So but but don't know but the weird thing is like for like three days after that I felt like a sort of a special person. I was I went to school I didn't say nothing. I did full days. I went to school the next three days after that. I didn't like wag it or anything I did full days. I love that. Three days turned over to leave care. Yeah, after three days you thought screw it. Yeah, did a quick history exam.

But have you ever had that where you've felt like I've been given another chance here? Right, next one. That's popsicle hell we call that. Right, next one. Which one's the next one? Oh what about your paper round? Right. Can I ask very quickly? Did your life flash before your eyes like they say it did? No, I just sort of went really calm and like I'm ready for this now. Right. I wasn't bothered, do you know I mean. I want no regrets. No, no. It was weird, it was really weird. But anyway, the paper round one, paper round, I'd still say it's the best job I've ever had. And he means it. No, I really enjoyed it.

It's like, you know, you don't have to work with anyone else, right? So you make your own rules. Just think of that. You know, you're sort of spreading information, people, vital information. And no one else is around, you know, you can just do what you want and think about stuff whilst you're cycling around on your bike. It's really good. So, um, so anyway. Imagine the stuff he's thinking about what he's right around. Oh, getting ahead of a salamander. So anyway, I loved it. And even though, I've, I, I, I' I' I' I' I' I' I' I' I' I' th. he's thinking about what he's right around there. I can't. Oh, so getting in the head of a salamander. So anyway, I loved it and even though I only got like 50 p a day, right, no matter what

the weather was like and stuff, he used to get up half past four and go and do the round and um... Why did you get up half past four? Because I wanted to watch the Pink Panther, so I wanted to to to watch it to watch it to watch me paper round done. I said why didn't you watch Pink Panther? And then did the movie? He went, oh I can't sit there thinking I've got my paper round to do. He'll ruin it for him. Yeah, so is it a good job or not? So 4.30 I was up or up and about. And this morning it was like winter, really bad winter, bad snow, you know, freezing cold, really windy and all that. My mom said to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I threat. I thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thi. I th. be getting up tomorrow. I'll give you the 50 P. I said it's not about the 50P. So you know people want the papers and stuff. So um... so um... So anyway I went to bed thinking you know that's it. I'm I've told her I'm still going so you know whatever. Go to sleep get up in the morning and put all my kit on and put all my toy-a the the their kit all their their kit all their their kit all their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to their to to to to to to their their their to to to to to put to put to put all to put all to put all their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tip. tip. tip. tip. So. So. So. So tip. So tip. So tip. So tip. So tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. So tip. So the thir on, had like waterproof pants and I got my paper round bag and I went downstairs to get out and tried to open the door and it was locked. So I thought oh

I was so she'd locked it so I couldn't go out so I'm searching around the house looking for the keys she must have heard them somewhere. Oh God you know I've got the papers to do so I th and so the the th and I the th and I the th. So I th. I th. I I th I th I th got I th got I th got I th got I th got I th got I th got I the th got the tho tho the tho the the the tho tho the. I'm the the the the the the the the. I their tho tho their their their their their their their their their their I their I th th th th th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I the I the I the I the I the I'm the the the theat theat theat theeat theeat theeeeeeeeat theeeeeeeeeee the the the the the the the papers to do. So I thought how can I get out. So I went upstairs, climbed out of the bathroom window. God. Right? And to try and jump out of the bathroom window onto the porch. But the problem was I had so much gear on, I was like the Mitchelian man. So I could hardly move as it is. And I try to get out of the window and I'm like try to stretch down like the, I'm, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to the, the, to to the, the, to the, to to the, try, try, try, try, try, to to the, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, the window, the window, the window, try, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, try, the window, to, to, to, to, try, to to, to, to, to, to try to to to try, try to to try, to try, try to try to try, try, try, try, try, try to stretch down like that, get my foot on the porch and my bag got caught on like the hook of, do you know like I have a hook so you can put the window open? Right, yeah, the little arm goes on. My bag had got caught on that. I was holding on to the like the wall and my foot on the thing so I couldn't sort of pull it away in case I pulled it away and fell on my head. So I'm stuck there. Dangling. My dad comes back from working nights. Yeah. He thinks I'm a burglar.

He gets how he's gone. So he's shouting and stuff going mad and going, Dad, it's me. And he had to give us a hand using a... He's heard that wily trick in Manchester before. He had to help me using a washing prop thing, a big stick. What did he do? Well he said, just hold on for your day life and I'll I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th thinks thinks th th th th th th th thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thin, I thin, I thin, I thinks, I'm thinks I'm thinks I'm thinks I'm thinks I'm thinks I'm thinks I'm thinks I thinks I thinks I thinks I thinks I'm thinks do well he said just that hold on for your day life and I'll sort of push the paper bag off the hook why didn't he go upstairs and sort out it was at that point where was in the middle there was nothing you could do you know I mean hmm it's at that point where you've just got to make a decision yeah and by the time he you go upstairs who know it's a bad you know you got a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I I I th I th I th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th the the the th is th is th is the the the the the th is th is th is to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thin is thin is thin is that. the is the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the the. the. the the the. thin is, no listen around. Yeah, yeah. And you can hear downstairs, now here he is the pink panther. Dad! Hurry up! The air was so pink!

Oh! So that was close to death, because I must have been about 30 foot in the air. And I would have, you know, that would have been nasty if I fell to the concrete pavement. So, and there's more to come, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, than, than, than, than, that, that, that, that, that, that, than, there, there, the, the, the, there, there, there, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the air, the, the air, the air, the air, air, air, air, air, air. It, air. It, air. It, air. It, air. It, air. It, the, the, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, air. It, the, the, the, air. It's, the, air. Air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air, air. Air, air, air. Air, air. Air, air. Air, the come. Should we play a record and come back to this? Because he's got more. Oh yeah, no, I'm... There must be one where you did fall on your head. This is the one I'm waiting for. There's got to be one. That was explained so much. Yeah. I nearly did. Nearly broke me back. Jai'er once. My dad said, I'd better can't kick me out. I said, I'd better I was in the garden summer's day and it was that era when like doing Kung Fu and all that was really popular. Sure. And I was like messing about in the garden, punching the tree and stuff. And my dad said... A lot of kidding must have been. My dad said, I bet you can't.

My dad said I bet you can't. I bet you can't. I bet you can't. I bet you can't. Kick your height? What you mean kick it? What you mean? the kick it? the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I the. I was, the. I was, the. And, the. the. ta. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. te. te. the. the. I can. So I bet you can't. But instead of doing it on the grass I did it on like the concrete bit, kicked it, actually did it, I went there you go, but then like get me foot down quick enough and land on me back. Oh you paused to say there I've done it as opposed to putting your foot back on the ground. And I landed on me back and I'd still get back trouble now. Do you know? to cut a long a a long a long a long a long a long a long a long a long the their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, th. I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. tote. tot. tot. tot. tot. tot. th. th near-tent experiences and he went, and the whole point of this, he went, so that's why I think I'm going to die of something horrible like cancer. And I went, why? he went, right, you're ready for this? He said, well I don't check my balls. Wait? He said, I don't like the feel. Carl always check your balls. Why don't you like the feel of your own balls? They just, I mean you know that I don't like bodies anyway.

Right? Do you know what I mean? It worries me a bit that you've got all that going on in your body, right? And your skin's keeping it all in place. Right. Stop, stop, stop, stop. We're going down a whole other avenue of discussion. Let's let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let let's let let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's. Let's. Let's th. Let's th. Let's th. Let's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha-c-c-c-c-c. to-c. to-c. to-c. to-c. to-c. to-c. toaa''ererera'era'era'era'era'era'era'era'er-c. th all in place. Right. Stop, stop, stop, stop. We're going down a whole other avenue discussion. Let's play a track, let's come back to it. Oh, right, I've bought in this, this is a free, you'll know from the jeans commercials. All right now, yeah. But this is a great little track.

This is my brother, Juryophonics, Vegas two times, XFN 104.9 into the last hour. Yeah. And then three shows to go. That's true enough. Until we're off the air. I'm Ricky Javais. With him, Steve Merchant. Carl. All right?

Yeah. Let's go and tell you, we cut short doing quotes, haven't we, like famous quotes? Sure. You know, gone down in history. Yeah. And I was saying, you know, quotes don't really matter. It's more the situation that you're in than the quote itself. Because like Neil Armstrong, if he'd have said, what, you know... Ty Bacon round your head. I'm as happy as a pig in dust. That would have still gone down in history as like being the the the the the the the the the that, you, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I was, I was, I was saying, I was saying, I was saying, I was saying, I was saying, thi, thi, I was saying, I was saying, thi, thi, and I was saying, thi, and I was, and I was, thi, and I was, and I was, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi quotes, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, quote, thin, quote, quote, quote, thia' quote, quote, quote, thia' quote, tie bacon round your head. I'm as happy as a pig in dust. That would have

still gone down in history as like being the thing that the alarm strong said, wouldn't it? Yeah. But, but, he chose to say something profound and meaningful to be fit the situation. Wow, he got it wrong actually. It's a small step for man one jointly from my kind but it was meant to say. Yeah we discussed this last week. Yeah yeah well no but people might listen last week. Yeah I can't imagine people. We better tell them every week then. Yeah but he said he should have said this is one small step for a man. Yeah anyway he had a good effort and that's a good effort and that's a good effort and that's a good that's a that's a that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's that's that's that's that's that's a good the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that it wrong, but it still went down in history. But anyway, the bit that, and it didn't happen anyway, did it? What do you mean it didn't happen anyway? That's what a lot of people say. That no one's actually been on the moon. Ah, yes, of course. They've filmed it in Teddington Studios. Well, they were saying something about, there was shadow on the film and you wouldn't get a shadow on the film and there's all sorts of things. These people that you always quote as they, who are they?

Are they living in jars? Are they little fellas in jars? Well, what? You know, do they appear to you in dreams? I've spoke to different people about it and there's loads of little things that if you watch that program that you know of them being on on on on on on on on the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they? they're they? they're they? they're they're they're they? they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their? their? their? they're the, thi. thi. they're they're thi. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're know of of them being on the moon there is no way they could have done it. Right. Fine. Done. That's put to bed. Yeah. But anyway, as he was getting back in the spaceship on the moon or whether it be a TV studio, he said, good luck Mr. Croucher. Right. Have you heard this?

No. And the reason he said that was because when he was a young kid, and he was playing, I think it was Croucher, but when he was playing as a young kid in his garden, he was playing baseball with his mate, and he chucked the ball to his mate and his mate at the ball and the ball went over the fence to the next door neighbor, right? So he goes right, I'll just nip over and get the ball and as he was getting the ball, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, the window, was the window, was the window, was the window, was, was, was the window, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe, was toe, was toe, was toe, toe, too, the the the the the the the the tooometeer.a, the the the too, too, too, tooombs. Hea, was too, was too, was too, was the the the window was open to his neighbour's house and he heard like the woman shouting at her husband saying I'm not going to be giving you a bit rude so if you got a kid in the car whatever turn it down what yeah what yeah that's covered that yeah right genius I'm not I'm not I'm not um no matter how many times you asked me I'm not going to be giving you oral sex. The

day I do that man would have walked on the moon right? Yeah. He grows up he gets on the moon and he remembers all that story and as he gets back in the spaceship he says good luck Mr. Croucher. Now do you know that we'll have to say I've heard that story before but when I heard it the woman said the, the day I give you a blow job is the day the boy next door walks on the moon, which makes it all the more profane, and enjoyable, yeah, and unlikely. But yeah, no, I've heard the same story, Carl. Yeah. Look how pleased he is.

I love that. Right, so not only have you remembered that anecdote, which may to walk on the moon and say something about giant leaps. But yeah, he must have heard the thing that it never actually happened. Yes, we've all heard it. We've all dismissed it as nonsense. And moved on. Yeah. Got on with our life. Right. Carl. Should we do a white band man? But you didn't, you didn't prepare me for that. We better play a track and then I'll dish out the newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaper newspaperthe newspaper and stuff. Oh this is a good little bootleg track here from meats and poultry here. They've mixed A with outcast. Right. Of course it's great.

Is it highly illegal? Is. So people shouldn't rush to their tape machines now and poultry. Okay. So whatever you do, don't record this now, hold on. Don't say anything. All that bootlegs going, the name of nothing Miss Jackson I think by meats and poultry so there you go. I do love these bootleg things because

they're so pointless but they're so enjoyable. Yeah it's great. It's fun to do. Yeah exactly. They're great but not as much fun as white van Carl? White van Carl absolutely. Do you want to explain the premise? Well we take some of the son asked someone to ask Carl the the to ask the the to ask to ask the the to ask Carl. the to ask Carl. the the the to ask Carl. the the to ask Carl. to ask Carl. the the the to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I I. I's the. I's theat. theat. theat. I theat. theat. theat. I theat. I's theat son have just taken a normal person we flipped it we can ask Carl the same questions about the week's news. Yeah just basically your opinions Carl as ever what do you make of well obviously the big news David Beckham's broken foot is this big concern for you? No I mean it's sad sad for him you know it's sadder for him more than anyone because you know to like being a world cup is it the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the for him more than anyone, because you know, to, to like, being the World Cup is like the main thing for him, isn't it?

Yeah, but he's still a young lad and I don't think he'll give up, I reckon he'll still turn up, it'll be alright, and, yeah, good luck to the lad. You know like David, I'm not going to slug him off. He says that like he knows him, like he's popping around for drinks later. Yeah, like we tried to stitch you up. But obviously yesterday, yesterday I think maybe Thursday, the sun printed a big picture of David's foot and encouraged everyone to toub to toub. Because hoping that this would somehow, if we all thought and prayed together somehow that would help his foot heel. Do you do you believe in that? No, you're going down the old like you're a Galaureau route aren't you? Sure. I know it's stupid. I'm sure I mean it's nice effort and everything it sort of cheers everyone

up. Hold on. You believe in ghosts and warlocks and licking toads. Why is that any more stupid and all those things? It just it just it's not going to work to work th. It's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. It's not going to to to to to to to to to be to be th. It's not. th. that's that's that's not. that's not. that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that's. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the thi. the the th. the th. tho. tho. I. I. I's th. I's tho. I's. I's. going to work is it? All right fine. It's rubbish. Okay. Okay what about this then? There's apparently now available 1.5 million pound apartments available on an exclusive ship which sales around the world. Yeah it's like a huge thing and you just did you live on it and it's I mean in the the big is it it's mental do you know a huge like a town the center do you know I like people said that the Titanic was the biggest ship was that only then they've got bigger they've got big ones now they yeah a lot bigger oil tankers are much bigger and yeah no but but actual line is a big yeah it was the biggest then yeah because me because my mom that there was one there was there was there was there was that was that was that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was one that was that was that was that was one that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was one that was one that was one that was one that was that was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that there was one that was that big that it had like rough areas on it. Oh!

Oh! Oh, oh, oh, God. Don't go starboard. Oh God. No, but you know what I mean? We're thinking of moving, we're seeing the captain, we're thinking of moving to a nicer area. Oh, yeah. I've heard they're very rough in aft.

Oh God. Oh, that's fantastic. They're so big that was rough areas. How big is this one that you're talking about? Well, I don't know. It doesn't give me the specifications here, but they're huge. They're huge. In theory, I, I, I, I, I, I, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's that thing with them it's obviously marketing but and they're gonna solve the

overpopulation crisis where soon we're all be just be floating around the sea but yeah I can see that because I mean think about it right I've been talking to Ricky about it I was open to buy somewhere in London but there is no way in this world that I can afford it right and you look at all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to they're to to they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the they's the the they's they's they. they's they's they're they're they're to to th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm they're they're they're to they're to they're to there is no way in this world that I can afford it right? And you look at all the wasted space like with the Thames, all it's doing is like collecting crisp packets and stuff and coat cans and people have to clean it up whereas if you think if you got a load of boats on there yeah problem solved yeah. Problem solved yeah would you live on a boat? What's his name did it, didn't he? What's that program? Is it Bergerac? Bergerac? It was one where he lived on a boat, I think it's quite... That was the shoe string. I'd give it a go anyway. Now, I'd like to see you living in the air, maybe in a giant hot air balloon.

Yeah, all right. But, um, no, the boat thing, because it is going to get bad as well, isn't it? They're saying that the water's melting or whatever. The water's melting, the ice is melting. Yeah. And it's going to be more water and less land. So in the future, it's probably going to be the way we're going to be living, isn't that? Have you seen that, the water world? I don't fancy it. I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago. If you get, I mean I think I read that, like a big chunk of ice fell off one of the ice, what do you call them, ice caps? Ice caps. Something like the, I think they said it's the size of the Empire State Building or something,

it snapped off and went into the water and it's melted and they say, oh it's bad news, you know, something that size is melting. But the the the the the the the the the the the the their their that something that size is melting but the way I look at it, if something that size falls into the water it's like a big ice cube and it's gonna freeze it up again. Do you hear me? Not really, go on. Right, you get a giant ice cube the size of the size of the Empire State building, it's gonna stick back on again? Well no, it will freeze up the water's gonna get cold again, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like the the th, it's like the the the thi, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, thi.a' thi's like, it's like, thia' thia' thia' thia' thi.a' thi, it's like, it's like, it's going to stick back on again, isn't it? Well no, only if it freezes up again. Yeah, it will freeze up.

The water's going to get cold again because you've just put a giant ice cube in the water. So when you put an ice cube in a drink, the drink doesn't freeze, does it? The ice melt. If you put one the size of the Empire State Building in your glass of Jack Danieleros, it's going in the ocean. I know but you see that I'm using my fables, imagine the world. I use your brain instead. Imagine the world, imagine the sea, like the Arctic or whatever, as a glass of Jack Daniels. A big ice cube falls into it, it freezes, it melts back on again. So it's, we're all right, I don't know why everyone's worrying. Thank God. Thank God was getting panicked. Fine. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah no you're right. That will happen. Shall we play some more music and then come back to Whiteback Carl? It's better than

ever? This is this dynaway this week. Uh well it's just another your thoughts really on the Queen Mumms very British send-off that she was given this week. Yeah. What do you make of all those people queuing up to see her? Did you think that was incredible? Right. Well what we said last week you know there was a I don't quite understand why there there's so many people there who were like getting really upset. they the their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they th I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. the. the. the. the. their their their their the. the. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that the the the the the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeeeeeeee. theeeee. who's like related to you and you don't cry like that. You sort of sit there and you think back to what you did with them and stuff and then that's it. But the queue thing, it was, it was like miles long and stuff. Yeah. I was sat watching this we see 12 hours. Yeah. It never got to 12 hours. It did. How long is a queue th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thin, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that was the estimated time. How long is a queue when they're just like, you know, walking along, think how far you can sort of like, you know, stagger in 12 hours.

Incredible. It's been ridiculous. Yeah. But again, you know, if they want to do that, it's their time and that, isn't it? It was at the weekend, so they used their own time so good on them but I thought right what they could have done Remember when I studied Che Guevara? Yeah, right? And don't be offended by this. It was just an idea because they did it with Shea Gavara remember when they cut him up? Yes, they cut him up. What was the reason for cutting him up? Well they cut up Chey in order to try and um, you you you you you you you you you you you you they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right, right. And, right, right, and to, and to, and to to to to to to to th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and there. And, and there. And, and there, and theree. And, and the. And the. And they're the. And the. And the. And the. And they're the. And the. And, and the, and the, and the. And to try and make it you you told us that they were going to send bits of his body to Fidel Castro and for his other people wasn't that right as a warning wasn't it though to do the people like want to yeah my understanding was that they cut him up in order to so they could bury him in different

places so that there be one no shrine there be not what not one place that you to go to her head whatever oh god no but think I just was thinking the way of speeding it up I'm not having a go I'm not because they haven't done it so it doesn't matter but they did it with Shagavara yeah everybody would have felt like they've got close to her and it would have speeded it up. I mean I can understand the head. Can I just say that genuinely Carl is not being disrespectful here? This is his best idea to cut down the cues so don't phone in he's not suggesting we should have done this. He genuinely is. Well I mean he's not doing it to be nasty or wacky or or you know he thinks

this is a good idea. Can I just start to do it here? I thought I said Gavaru was like a powerful man he did a lot for the world and why do you? Yeah. And... Are you aware that I feel slightly responsible for this because have you heard the quote a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing? Yeah.

Okay, Steve, next one. No judge might just a toe I'll tell you what they could do without chopping her up they could put about nine cues each could see each hip she had that's true enough because she's she'd know about nine of them yeah so it just be yeah if you want to see the whole the if you just want to see a couple a a a a a a a a a a couple a couple a the the to see a couple a to see a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a the to see a to see a to see a couple a the to see a why not put her on a trolley and Wheeler passed everyone else running so yeah you could have you could have some students on Ragweek that you can combine it but when they're always pushing a bed you know they could

just run it along the little cue no that would be disrespectful right as opposed to the chopping up so shock right just just an idea just I apologize now anyone offended anyone offended they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they can they can they can they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they can can can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can, as opposed to the chopping up. So, shock. Right. But, just an idea. Just I apologize now. Yeah, anyone offending. I'm sorry. Okay, finally, this is more frothy. Liz Hurley, lying low apparently at Elton John's house to try and avoid the press now that she's

had a child. That's a good place to go to be friends with Elton John's house. What does he run in some sort of... But it was like when Robbie Williams was a drunkard and a drug addict you went to Elton John's, you know, and it was the other fellow that went there as well, you know, what someone went to, you know, to recuperate and shoulder the cry, is he giving out false passports and I don't know if people have seen his history. He's not the man, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and he, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, he's the other, he's the other, he's the other, he's the other, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, and he, and he's the other other other other other other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and, and, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, and he's the other, he's the other, he's's it maybe he's got this kind of insight into how to deal with celebrity. Yeah. Well I think it's just genuine mates with him I think he's just got a friendly broke. She's been doing too much lying low in the first place that's part of the problem isn't it? That was a genuine joke from Carl there and he's so proud of himself look at his little face. Too much lying low. Oh that was Mike Van the told? he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. I he. he. he. I he. I he. I's. I's. I's he. I's he. I's he. I'm. I'm. I's he. I's he's he's he's he's he. I's he. I's he. I's he. I's he. I's he. She's he. She's he. She's he. She's he. She. She. She's he. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She. She. She's. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's been th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I've th. She's been he's been he's been he's been he's he. She's that was Mike Van Gogh. Why can't she just go around to a mom and dad's or something rather than out in John

where everyone's looking? Yeah. Yeah. That's the point, isn't it? Yeah. So that was good, yeah. Right, what music we got? A flaming lips.

Flaming lips, it's a classic race for the prize. The flaming lips and race for the prize. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, to, to, to, to, why, why, to, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why. to, why, why. to, why. to, why, why, why, why, why... th.. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, tho. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, it never was, had he? The Flaming Lips and Race for the Prize, just playing that Rick for everyone who emails the thing. We get a lot of emails every week, but obviously don't really respond to them because we're very lazy people, but we obviously appreciate it. And I play that particularly for Claire who's emailed in saying her friend Sarah Prosa, we're not going to play with a big gnapper. Spread your love on XFM, 104.9, I'm Ricky Jombe with me Steve Mitchell. And now it's Carl's, it's the re-education of Carl. He's like Lyser Do Little. And now he's coming with, oh, Law and Maher Man, if you've seen that film.

More like Lawn Man, if you've seen the film, you'll know mor man if you've seen the film you know what I mean and his homework was to just study quotes really on on happiness and stuff in general well-being he's not a big happiness quote fan I is Carl not really so what have you done you've come up with some right yeah I told you right because a lot of these are just things you say every day they're not the the the the the the the they they they they they they they're they're the they're they're the they're they're the they're they're they're the they're the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their the they their th th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they I th th th thi thi thi thi tho tho tho thooo thoo thoo the tho thoo thoo thoo to to their their their the the, right? Because a lot of these are just things you say every day, they're nothing special. So what I'm doing... Well, you say them every day. Well, the sort of things you come out with and you don't even think about it, do you know what I mean?

They're on the TV all the time, people on to be on a door and all that. What I've done, I've, um... Imagine if that was the pitch for the show. Dear Channel 4. You're just gonna get a posh kid on a door or something? Yeah, yeah, come in. Yeah, go on. So what I've done, this little book of quotes, uh, happiness quotes, I've picked two that are real and I've made one up. All right? And we've got a guess. And you've got a guess. Okay, go on. Well I'll tell you what Rick, why don't

we, when we've heard them, we won't confer, you'll write down yours, A, B or C and I'll like down mine and we'll see how it is. Okay, off you go. Right. And just because I'm looking at this book it doesn't mean I'm actually reading. No, I know, don't worry, we're clever, you know why we can't see it. Like call my bluff. Yeah, go on eh. Nothing is worth more than this day. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. The way I see it. Oh, oh God, my head's gonna burst. No, hang on. This might not be Carl's. It might not be. How do you know, I haven't tweaked them a little bit? Yeah, good point.

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain. Yeah, okay. All right, yeah. Okay, hang up. It's not here. Come on. Cat food. Cat food, come on. It stinks of it.

But if you don't put up with a smell, the little kitten will die. Steve, Steve, I don't want to die. I don't know what to die. Imagine their faces when he says that and they're going, oh my God. Carl, play a song mate. We'll have to confer on this one. Ha ha ha ha. Well that's just amazing Carl. Just read him again. Two were real one was fake. Go on in. Right. First one. Nothing is worth more than this day. Excellent. Next one. What does that

mean? Well cherish now, cherish your time. Okay. Because you can't get it back and you know, that's where I saw it. Carp-D and whatever it is, seize the day and all that. Okay. If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain. Yeah, of course. Yeah, rough with the smooth. You know, it's not all plaintaiding, but rainbow is beautiful but it comes because of the rain which you might not like so make the most of everything and yeah good. Cat food doesn't smell good but if

you don't put up with it then the little kitten will die. Right now Carl that is a good effort now that one's yours I mean obviously right no no but it's a good effort. I mean it's a good effort right no but it's a good effort to the others yeah don't thi thi that's that that that that th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho the tho tho the tho tho the the tho the the tho the the the the the the the their their their their their tho their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the thoooo. the the thoooooooooo. the. the. thoooooooooooooooooooo. that the. the. effort, right? I mean it slipped seamlessly into the others. Yeah, I don't think it didn't. No, but it's good. I mean we knew it was that one. But what I will say is, it's good, but what you don't know maybe subconsciously is, I mean, it's very similar to the, put an up with a rain and the rainbow, but that's good. Why do you th you that, th you mine mean? Well, even though it smells bad, it's good for something. Right, see I didn't look at it like that?

What did you look at? I kind of thought... She was more specifically about cat food, generally. Because you know normally they like, it's an analogy. Yeah, or a metaphor for something, you know, much bigger. Well, no, the way I... I mean, Dolly Parton, I think, did the rainbow, rain thing. She wasn't specifically concerned about weather conditions. It was a sort of general idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, that's what I've done.

I've used an everyday thing and put it with today's problems, yeah. She might like to go shopping for clothes. I hate it. Right. But because I love her, I put up with it. Oh, that's nice. Yeah? So you love that little curtain. You can't stand the smell of stuff you've got to feed it. But because you love it, you go, well, you know, I'll put up with this just for a few minutes and then I can like squeeze its head later and give it a little sorry sorry sorry can we go back you know stroke its head and so alright yeah so it's a bit of a slip was it was it? Yeah yeah that's just a thing I do with put it in a bag and drone it in a lake I can feed it and then I can throw it against the wall. So you didn't see it like that did you? No that's very good so it's about love is it?

It's about putting up with the bad things for something you love. Yeah. Well that's nice. But Carl you seem now to be convinced and rather smug that you've tricked us and that you fooled us and that you've fused us and I say that's that's that's that's your nutter. He came up with the life as a box of chocolates thing. Now if that was in this book you say oh yeah brilliant you know a good bit of work but if he was sat here doing the show with you yeah you'd be taking the Mickey out of him. Sometimes I feel he is.

No but Carl I could I could I could in fact. the people are out there, we're too lazy, could you write down everything Carl's ever said? Because I think we could publish that. He said one today, he saw my Salamander, it's not an euphemism, he saw my Salamander, and it's just sitting there in the time. You're exotic pet. Yeah, and he's worried about that not being lid on. there for 24 hours a day obviously planning to get out. Well he's got nothing else on its mind and the daft thing is he has actually got the lid

ripped up a little bit. Like it's got nothing else to think about. And I'll be looking up there and it's going to get out. But what's the worst that could happen? What's it thinking? What do you think it's thinking? This Alamander? It's got his eye on the DVD on the DVD the DVD the DVD the DVD the DVD the DVD to to to to to to to be down to be down to be down to be down to be down to be down the to be down to be down to be down to be down to be down to be down to be down to be down to be down to be th the to be to get to get th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? I's going thi? I's going thi? I's going thi? It's going th. It's going th. It's going th. It's going th. It's going th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's going the the th. It's going the the the the the thi? I the thi? I thi? I's going thi? I's going thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I's going thi. I's going thi. I's going thi. I's going thi. I's going thinking? What do you think it's thinking the Salamander? It's got its eye on the DVD player? I can have E and be down the market. Oh, oh God. Can I just say something? Are they dangerous? I think the Salamander's thinking exactly the same things as you. I mean to look at you've got the same expression on your face. You know, you're dressed in green as well. You've got a little round sort of the hamburger type head like the salamander very similar and yet you you know you I think and you bonded with it didn't you? Yeah but I probably would

have tried to get out but my little paper round bag would just angle. Yeah. Can we have more nepotism on the show? I know that we did that earlier with the touch. We have my housemate you remember I was working out out. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was working. I was working. I was working. I was working. I was working. I was working. I was working. I was working th. I was working th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. te. tried. tried. tried. th. thr. thr. th. thr. th. th. you remember I was working out with him last week to a Helen from Big Brothers dancer size video that's just frightening yeah we we've kind of let that slip a little bit I've got to be honest but anyway he's joined this band they're called a fujia and meaggy slightly difficult to pronounce but anyway this is a track that I think it's been getting some play by. Can I say I've got a fridge freezer for sale, 400 or nearest offer? Fijia and Miachi, performing live Thursday of the 18th of April at the Pool on Curtain Road. Admission is free, Rick, so I imagine you'll be heading down there. Yeah, I will. Well, I've enjoyed this show. Yeah, it's been a good one. It's been great. I'll tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. thea. thea. th th th th thea. th th thea' th th thea' thea'ea'eru. thea. thea. Car anymore? Oh, tell that story that you were telling me about your dad when he was driving.

Well, it's just that you were talking about, well, I mentioned Forrest Gump. Yeah. And the Forrest Gump types, when my dad was a, when he was a taxi driver, you used to have do your bit for the local area by taking the forest, the forest, thops, thops, thops, thops, thops, thops, thops, thops people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people to to to to black people to black, to black, to black, to to black, to black, to black people, to black people, to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, forest, the forest gum people to Blackpool. Is that what they're called now, the forest gum people? Is that what the organisations that support them? I asked for them to be referred to. A mini-bast with life is a box of chocolates. Exactly.

Well they were his gum types. It must have worked with these people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the people with the people the people the people with learning difficulties. Difficulties, yeah, and he used to get five. Can we there must have been a busman's holiday. So he got five of them in the cab and he had to go to Blackpool and four of them were really good, you know, behaving themselves, didn't mess about, weren't fighting and stuff, but there was one who was just causing loads of trouble and he can't control him. And what you've got to be out to do with people like that you don't want them to get stressed out because it's not good for them. It stresses them out and you could end up with

a bit of a riot on your hands. So he thought I'll nip this one in the bud right now and he pulled up just on the outskirts of Blackpool and he took the one out that was causing problems and put it in a wheelie bin. He did the try. I apologize. He did it for the good of the others. It was in a wheelie bin. It was having a good time. He thought it was one of the rides. He stopped saying it? Him? Yeah. He, you know, he was having a good time and he once he calm down my dad went back and he was fine he had a good what he left him in there the whole time the others were in blackpool no he left him there not not not the whole day probably about an hour and a wheelie bin in a wheelie bin why couldn't he get out because like his arms were trapped on the things for those what he he he tied him up no do you the the the the the the their he was was was was was was was was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he he he he he he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. he was he was he a big fella and like he managed to get him in so his arms were down the side like that

so it was a bit trapped. Wasn't he screaming and crying and stuff? He'd been making a bit of noise but do you know what I mean? What do you feel so they're right? But anyway that's I didn't really want to talk about it he just brought up because he just a he he he he he he he he he he he didn't get asked to do it again. He had another problem similar to it where he had a little minibus and it was his job to take a load of old women to the bingo hole and it was miles away and he took him there. There was no problem about about 10 old women in a minibus. One of them was causing trouble. So he pulled their. So he, their their their th. So he, th, th, th, th, so th, so their, th, th, th, th, th th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, he had a little, he had a little tho, he had tho, he had tho, he had tho, he was a little, he, he, he, he, th. He, he, th. He, he, he, he, th. He, he, he, he, he th. He, he th. He, he th. He, he tho, he was thi, he was thin, he was thin, he had thin, tho, tho, to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thoooo, tho, he had th. So he pulled over it. Right, so he's took him there. Everything's fine, he dropped him off. Not a lovely night. Right, they had a lovely night.

Coming back, it's a bit of a late night. And they all started moaning at him going, I want to be dropped off here. Take me there. I want toap me here first take me there and he just pulled up in the middle of nowhere to get out and he made them get out and they all called for taxes they charged that company who was meant to be taken a moment in the minibus and he got the sack but a similar sort of story can't be doing with it when people don't sort of just calm down and like solve the situation.

They're just all like, I want to be talked, dropped off first, take me here first, don't yeah? So we act like a madman. Just looks good. Oh, that's great. We've got a crack on, really? We got to say so much. Yes, Nick Drake, a song for the ladies this week.