The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S1E3 (November 24, 2001)

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

The show ran between September 2001 and May 2002 before Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film the second series of ‘’The Office’’. Initially, Pilkington’s on-air presence was relatively minimal compared to what it would become. Gervais and Merchant only occasionally called for Karl to weigh in with his thoughts, while the two mostly talked to each other, with the “links” between songs comprising only about 30 minutes of the show’s 2-hour run time.As Pilkington’s personality moved to the forefront, the talk portion of the show expanded to roughly an hour per 2-hour broadcast. While the show relied largely upon a stream-of-consciousness format, Pilkington made attempts to keep things more conventional by insisting on running contests and airing pre-recorded segments and regular “features”.

Some 41 and in too deep if you're listening now you're in too deep is the Ricky Duvay show run for the hills. No classic yeah with Steve Murchin yeah whose birthday it is today yeah someone never listened before and I heard that link I think great it's proper it's proper radio at last oh ex f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f one too too st st to the too f too too too the the too too the too too the the too too too too the too the too too the the too too too too too too too too too too too too the the too too too to to to to to to to to to to him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him x x x n n n n n n n n n n n st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st st the the the the the Steve, do you want some great music today? I'd love to hear some great music. Well I've bought in some good stuff, I've bought in Oasis, we've got radio hair, I've got some dry, I've got some album, I've got some Jimmy Webb, I'm looking forward to that, I'm looking forward to that. Oh absolutely. I've got charlatte. I've got any charde. I've th. I've got the sha. I've got the the the the th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got th. I've got the th. I've got th. I've got the the the the the the the the the the their th. I've got to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to have to have to have the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've bought tho. I've bought their. I've bought the the the the the tho. I've the tho. I've tho. I've bought tho. I've bought tho. I've bought tho. I've th. I've been looking through the library and I have found four non-blonde brilliant. Looking forward to that later, Rick. Yeah, yeah, it was, Carl, it was you that

worked out the maths and worked out I was 28 because they just worked out I'm 27. You are 27. No way. Yeah, I to, I asked you didn't I? And I said, no, but I sort of question was I said, well, I said, well, if you're th., I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, sort, th. It, th. It was, sort, th. It was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. was, that, th. It, that, that, that, that, that, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, that, was, that, that, was, that, th. th. th. that,oday that means last week you were 26. Well well done yeah that's irrelevant so therefore you assumed that I must be 28 then whereas I assumed you were using you know your knowledge of maths such as it is. I won't do that. No sure sure. Wow I actually got lost in that conversation because I didn't genuinely didn't know what he meant w-I don't know what it meant. Wow well Well it is Steve's birthday. But it would have been 26 last week. Sometimes you genuinely frighten me because it's those staring eyes, there's nothing behind him, it's this little bald head. It looks like Davros looking at me. Genuine, just genuine fear on his face when he enters into a conversation with another human being. Well, what, don't you understand? If he's 27 today, it would have been 26 last week and he doesn't look 26.

He didn't look 26 last week, he looks older than 28 today. You've started on his birthday, you're still having a go at it. Carl, I don't look like the kind of hot stud that I actually am. But face works, that's the truth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's th. He's th. He's th. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't look. He doesn't look. He doesn't look. He doesn't look. He doesn't look. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. Okay, look, oh that's appropriate. See what it is? You mean the band, don't you? Not the cake, you haven't you? You haven't actually bought cake, have you? Got anything at all?

Cake, short skirt, long jacket, sort of a fashion sort of single. Yes. Yes. Oh, I got, oh, I remember I just remembered something right that like short skirt long jacket once I was watching daytime TV I was unemployed it was it was the early days of you know it was about mid eight years and uh who was hosting it was it was sort of like one of those aim and homes in someone or you know you know which and not not not as good not as and uh then she went well after the break Leo Sears popping in tell well, after the break, Leo Sayers popping in.

Tell us about clothes for the shorter man. I stayed too, he came on, he went, wear a short jacket. Yeah, he went, wear a short jacket. Optical illusion, you're going, well, that jacket. Well, that jacket, it couldn't be a foot long, so he's six foot. So I'm looking at him there. Don't get too close. Just look at the jacket. How tall you, Leo, well, work it out.

This jacket's presumably about, isn't it? Yeah, of course it is. Yeah. Yeah. But Leo, you're famously quite a short man. If I saw you on TV talking about close with a short amount. No, but look at the jacket from jacket, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the jacket, the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi. thi. thi. theat, theat, theat, the theat, theat, the the the the theat, their their theat, for this illusion like 50 paces. What's the other thing about stripes is it? Yeah yeah horizontal stripes widen you. Maybe you look fatter? Yeah yeah yeah yeah. So good advice a good fashion advice for anyone listening? On XFM

104. Leo Sae they're offering some topic. We should get Leo in maybe offer some new stuff. For your birthday, a little special Leo Sayer visit for your birthday. Got any presents yet? I've received nothing yet. Um, but my parents haven't come up and they're the ones to normally bring gifts. Oh yeah, yeah. They are coming up later and I always look forward to my, um, father's gifts. Yeah.

Um, because they are remarkable. He, I don't know what he's. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, th...... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. don't it's like I don't understand the logic I mean if I explain some of the gifts he's bought in the past maybe you could figure out I once open I think I was about 14 right and I liked all the stuff that you like at 14 you know the ladies obviously you know pop music you know you know fashion yeah and that's why I assume that's why he bought me on audio cassette the collected wartime speeches of Sir Winston Churchill. It's a good gift. Did you listen to him? Well, I'm not sure when you'd ever be in the mood to listen to that. To be honest, we'll fight you on the beaches, you know all that.

All the classics, all the classic hits. I don't know when you're, unless youto that. Did you not even listen to it? I kind of stuck. When are you going to be in the mood to put that on? No, but just because it was a gift. I always remember being once, this was track. But what if you tested you go work? Do you like track four? Oh, some chicken.

Some chicken. never forget son. He didn't. And I went, I don't, I don't remember dad. It was mad and he was like, because he was quite into sort of, but he was into like the military and all that kind of, and war history and stuff. So are you allowed to tell an anecdote about your dad on radio. Can I just give you a clue just in case, can you tell the thing about the shed? No. No, no, no, no, no. Too, no. Too, no. Too, no. Too, no. Too, no. Too, no. Too, no. Too, no. Too, no, no, too, too, too, too, too, to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, I, I, I, I, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to., no, no. Too complicated, too long. Okay, all right, okay. But, um, but I remember this was, this is true. I remember we would, I had it on once, because I sort of, I just sort of stuck it on, because I thought, I was sort of, I was just, I was just, I was pleased to see I was listening to, I was just, to theyrific, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, t. was, t. was, t. was, t. was, was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I wasager as well, and it's like, and just, just this woman walking by, you know, she goes to the same school or whatever, you know, quite, quite fit. And I'm just stood there with my father listening to, we'll fight them on the beaches,

never in the field of human conflict of so many. And just, just remember looking at it as you pass. You've learned it, see, it's rubbed. Yeah, you'll just quote me out. What about a little bit of white stripes? I've got some more gifts that I can tell you about afterwards. Well, I'm looking forward to it. I look forward. I look forward. I've looked.

Oasis, morning glory before that white stripes, hotel y'allbys. Oasis of the today? O'Brien, O'Brien. VH1 top 100 album I have indeed I've enjoyed it yeah number one do you know Joshua Tree you two yeah now good album it's not the greatest album ever is it of all time I mean I know it's an arbitrary list but even so yeah yeah I know it's an arbitrary list but you sort of feel you sort of feel comfortable with it being the Beatles or exactly exactly you can't have even even pet sounds exactly and then they're the generation shift there's enough people now but it was what kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the the the th th th th th they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th of th th th th th th the the the the the the theeeeeeeeat the the the the the the the the th th th, maybe it's a time. Maybe it's a generation shift, there's enough people now. But it was sort of, what I found odd in the list was it started off with,

I think it was like the doors, I remember there was Lava Underground and stuff, you know, these kind of respected album and then there was things like, you know, stars simply read. I mean it was a big seller and whatever it was and I just think what again is it just based on albums that have sold well you know via the Britannia music but that's that's always the thing isn't it so like any any any pole like I remember I think it was last year the greatest lyrics of all time one one was imagined thin which is you know if, if anything, it's a solid classic. And there was like, you know, I'm maybe a Dylan or another Beatles one or like that.

And in two in the top five was Robbie William songs. Robbie Williams, yeah. One of the worst lyricists ever. Well, not the worst. Just a collection of words. Yeah, just, well, annoying, yeah, thing, you know. And it was that thing, um, a, a th, I I I I I, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, a thin, thin, the the the the the the the tho the thin, the tho tho th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to, to, tip, tip, to-. to-. to-. top-. top-. top-. top-in, to-wo-a, to-a, to-, a thousand fags, you know, like that with dad, and there's an tiki to the bridge. Oh, post-modern sort of.

Yeah, but that's just, that's a reflection of the sheer weight at the moment, isn't it? So it's always going to be four of all time and then the biggest thing that's why Cole playing Travis again and they're good but I mean you know I don't think they'd be at the same position next year. No. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just I mean I get frustrated with those lists because I always they just always seem so arbitrary. I think we've forgotten we're on the radio because that was a pretty boring link wasn't it because we're just talking like we're alone. A lot. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm just. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I mean. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I mean. I'm. I th. I th.H1 show. Yeah. Not interesting the late least. Are we losing it? Are we, you know what I mean? Listen, I'll be honest with you Rick, it's it's my birthday today, oh that's the night, oh that's not I went out, I got a little bit wasted. Yeah, so I'm quite, I'm hung over this morning. I didn't get the bed before. All the to the the the, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty. I was pretty. I was pretty. I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was pretty, I was the the the th. I was the the the the th. I was the the the the th. I was the the the the the the th. I was a little the th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a little th. I was a th. I was a little th. I was a little th. I was a little th. I was a little, I was a little th. I was a little th th that, I got a little that, I got a little that, I got a little that, I got a little that, I got a little that, I got a little thi. I was a little thi. I was a little that, I was a little thi. I got a little the... God knows how many units I had. I went to the monarch in the Camden.

There was some kind of groovy night on. I went to the door, I got a load of mates with me. I said, any discount for XFM DJs? He didn't. He did. Any discount for a discount for a discount? He said, he did. He said, any discount? I did. He did. I did. I did. I did. I went, I went, who are. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I went, I the th. I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, I went, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. it's five pounds, they can have a pound off. He said, but, and I think basically, but basically, Rick, I think I also agreed that you'd DJ there. I can't remember, but if the guy is listening, he could maybe let us know if I promised that, I might have signed something, I can't remember. Oh, God. Oh, I was a that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that, I that, I thi, I also, I th. I th. I th. I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I also, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think, I think, I think, I think, think, think, I think, I think, think, think, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. It was like one of those 50 sitcoms when, yeah, yeah, you sold my soul to an angel. Exactly. Oh, how am I going to get out of this? Yeah, exactly.

Oh, no. So anyway, if you were going to go into the monarch maybe next week of your thanks. That'll be fun. That'll be fun. Well, that was elbowed, Peter Gabriel and that's wonderful. Well we were we're talking about like your birthday and everything, yes. Presents and then I found out I'd been signed up to DJ at club and Karen to get you to get you in to a I got in for free my friends got in one pound off. I was just when the

record was playing there I said why did you do that why did you try and get in free right It goes, impress my mate. Now, how impressive is it that Steve Merchant can get you in a place for a quid off? Oh, yeah, what would save money? Go ahead, Steve, if they recognize him or have heard the show, you get a quit off? That is great. I'm a quality discount. I don't know whether what you like. I don't know whether, I think it wasn't just the acclaim and the fact you call it it was the pound off you like. The money off was exciting to me that was great. Any discount would have been fine. I imagine you made them will buy you a drink for you know several you know to the value of a pound. It ended up costing him a lot more yeah exactly well I did I ever have this is the probably the most embarrassing the the thran the the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the the the the the the the the most the most the most the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. the. the. I'm. the. th. th. th in South London once, went down to some party that was taking place in some kind of Swanky bar where there was a

dormant on the front and a charge I think it was something mental like a tenor to go in. It was crazy it was some it was some it was ludicrous I don't know what I was doing that I was and I was in the queue. And we'll established what you mean by swanky. the the the they, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thee, th, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was th was thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, the, the, was the or the or the an thea, was thea' party, was thea'-a'-a'-s was thean, was thean, was theeee and so there's a queue outside and there was one of these dormant who thought it was like kind of studio 54 he was like sort of you know choosing people who could come in yeah you know you know I've been there for ages obviously I was on my own I've got all and you know I've got. I've dressed up for this and there were these two girls you know I'm thinking what great opportunity you know use the old merchant charm yeah yeah and so I'm there and I'm sort of thinking I'm sort of you know I kind of sort of give them a nod or whatever you know a wink yeah they're loving it yeah they're they're putting they moved to the back they're putty in my hands right I thought to really I thought this thi thi thrown I to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the they tho tho they tho they tho they they they tho they they they they they they they they their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they so so so so so they so they so they I they I they I the try I try I try I try to try I to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to picking people off, the doorman, and I just grabbed him, I just grabbed him like that, and I said it so everyone could hear, right?

I thought this was brilliant. I said to him, how much is it? He went, 10 quid, I went, I'll give you 7. I'll give you 7. That was my bribe, I'll give you 7. That's a whole 3 pounds. No, that can't be right. No. No, I'm, he must have said a fiver and I said I'll give you seven. Yeah, that makes more sense, doesn't it? That's giving him a two pound incentive. Yeah, two pound incentive. I said, I'll give you seven you can make up the ten. You can, if you let me in, you can put in three yourself, mate. That never works, does it? He said to me. He said to me. He's that that that that that that that that that that that that. That's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. thi. that's thi. that's thi. th. that's that's thi. that's thi. that's thi. that's that's that's'm gonna, I'm just gonna have a kit, I think.

I'm so tired. Was it percentages that put you off that anecdote? That dazzle me initially. I mean, it's a funny anecdote when you're giving him two pounds. It's even funnier when you're getting into butt-up stuff. He's paying me as well. Oh, I love it. Right, we're going to play a record, then we're really going to concentrate. XFM 104. Rookety Show.

Steve Merchants also involved. Oh, go to bed. Oh, no. Oh, no. Hello. This is Tony Blackburn. It's the time of year when I like to help somebody far less fortunate or, dare I say, talented than myself. I'm talking of course about Christian O'Connell's breakfast show.

You've heard it. It needs all the help it can get, doesn't it? So this Christmas, help a London breakfast show. I won't, because I actually don't give a toss. But you crack heads might. Cypress Hill, superstar still to come. We've got such great bands as New Order, Ash, Nirvana, Radiohead. Song for the lovers about 2 o'clock is a beautiful song by Jimmy Webstein.

Lovelin' looking forward to it. Now it's Steve's birthday, it's X-FM 104. He's 27. Yes. We're both a little bit hungover. Yes. We're both a little bit hungover. Now every link we've started hasn't really sort of... It's not really come to fruition, if you're being honest. Nothing's happened.

I mean sometimes they're just all out kind of, there's just blunders in them. Yeah, or like this one, we've already run the ground. Yeah, I think it might be a mixture of. But we're going to back up our ideas. I said back up by the way just in case. A quick question though because I'm listening to one to complain you. My, um, my birthday today and therefore last night I went out and you know that's why excuse for being a little bit tired and a little bit hung over. Yeah, I mean a little couple, me and Jane went, what time did you say to buy to someone about one? Well that's stupid.

Well that's stupid. What I'm saying is no I mean it's your name all over the show, you know I'm a nobody I got no reputation. Yeah, although you're sort of like tall, I answer your birthday, but I'm just got to do a description. This is purely, this is nothing nasty, it's produced real. If you're sort of like a lanky sort of geek, um, and you know, you can do a worse and a accent, then maybe you can pretend to be Steve Merchant and getting quit off. Is that the things? that thrown, is that their that's all all all all all all all all all. Is that. Is thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrue. thrown. thrown. thrown. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's like. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like, th. I. It's like, th. I's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. I. That's offensive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we were talking about press. Should we play a record? Is that link too long already before we actually got to somewhere? I'm already bored. God, we've got to get to something. We've got to do something. Carl. Why don't you contribute something? You've been silent? Now that is scraping. We're in trouble? Oh no, we're failing. Who can, Carl, the big guns. Come on, Carl. I was just thinking, there is nobody else who looks like Steve.

He's done ya. That's outrageous. Although to be honest with you, that insult is resurrected things. Yeah, well done. Play a little tune, and then we're coming back a little sniffle as well, I think. Yeah, cold or something could be coming out out out out out out out out out he used to come in a bit earlier there, Swade there. What I like is the complete lack of professionalism on our part.

It's like we've got a bit of a headache, a little bit tired, just that's it then. You can't fight that. You can't fight that. I mean, the thing is, as you well know, Rick,, there's at least two and off who are smack heads. Yeah. You know, they still money. But they still money should do with the true. Even the ones that aren't that try their best are rubbish. That's true enough. I'm not saying we're still not the best. Yeah, and it's efforts for us, I know.

I know. We all are, but he can't really take it, he said, no, he's a lot. Wait, wait, there is some tickets to give away, Rick, I don't know if we should mention that. What, who is it for? Joe Strummer? Oh yeah. And he's band, the pound off. Well, the doors are at 7 o'clock and it's 17 pounds 50, unless you've won the competition, Rick, that I'm about to set and won yourself a pair of tickets. There is someone, right, in America celebrating a birthday today, okay? More than one. Same thing. No, but there's a specific one I'm thinking of, right. His name name, Rick, is Dwight Schultz. Okay? Yeah. If you know the answer, obviously don't give it away. Yeah. His name's Dwight Shultz. He's specifically big in the 80s. Yeah. And he's also celebrating a birthday. He's going to say what character is he best known as? And you can win yourself some tickets for Joe Strum and the Mescaleros at the Brixton Academy.

Dwight Shultz. American actor, TV character of the 80s, very famous. Oh yeah. See Christian's giving away a trip to Salem, Massachusetts. That's bizarre actually because I was in America recently and that's not a prize. Believe me, I mean, we were there, we were sort of obliged to go because we were at someone's birthday. It's rubbish. Really? I mean, that's a really poor trip.

That's such a boring thing. It's probably, you probably can't believe his luck. It's just probably the biggest thing Christians ever had to give away. And you've just dissed it. we're good for this station. I don't think we're selling this station like we should. Well, you know, it's its own fault, you know, it shouldn't have hired us. I blame it, you know. Yeah, unpaid us in advance. They're lucky we turn up. No, I went to at Salem Massachusetts. And this is the place that's famous from like Salem Witches and the Salem Witches. And the same famous are famous. Are the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah......... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. the title, that's what it's famous. The whole place has gone mad over like witches and anything, basically it's like there was the Salem witch hunts in like 17 something or 16 something or other, so the whole place now is just full of like people dressed as witches. Yeah, and then it's like any supernatural stuff. So that I went in and it was amazing. It's like, it's like, it's it's awful, it's awful, it's like it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's awful, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, it's like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they.. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like related. And I went to the Boris Karloff World of Terror.

Yeah, it's amazing. You went in there, I don't know if Boris, the famous horror actor has actually been involved, but you go in there, you walk in the door, you've got to put these 3D glasses on, right? And it's supposed to be this kind of chilling, like a sort of, they were so poor, I couldn't tell what was supposed to be a 3D effect and what was actually three-dimensional.

Really? So I couldn't tell if the floor was actually sloped or if it was just appeared to be, whether the wall was actually kind of knobbly or whether it was so much. It was so much. And it was literally took about 45 seconds to get to, they the thrap, and th, and, and, and, and, and, th, th, th, th, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, I.... So, I. So, I. So, I's. So, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, so, so, I'm. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, again. It was so you you so I just want to throw us over to Carl so there's Steve Merchant with funny glasses on in this place horror and he's walking round Do you think he's scared people Carl I've I've set this question out I've loaded the question. I know I know the answer you're fishing for him. Carl's you just want to have a dig at me because it's just one digto 2 o'clock and you've not really put a lot of effort in today. Slaggamy off. No, he's just, he's just an honest northerner and he can't lie. He's like George Washington but without the wooden teeth.

Yeah, Salem. I didn't mean to say- We've lost it again, aren't you mean to say, I didn't mean two of myself. I mean, genuinely, this is bad radio, isn't it? It's awful radio. Oh yeah, my mate went to one of those things in the West End where you walk around and it's aliens and they jump out at you, right? And he was so scared with the alien jumped out. I mean, he ripped a bit of his face off. And the bloc, the Salem one I was wandering around and this was one guy that kept jumping out. Because there was about 10 of us, I was at the back, I always missed him jumping out.

So when I got around I'd missed all the fright. Oh no. Oh no. He'd at least like, you'd have to thoub out and jump out again. Yeah. Everyone would catch that? No, what would we? All right, okay, move on. Oh, if you want to win those tickets, 0870, 800, 1,2, 3, 4, Dwight Schultz, who is he better known as? Yeah, basement jack, they're keeping it rear. Where's your head at? Where is your head at? Yeah, I know what they're saying. They're saying, where's your head at? Yeah, I know what they're saying. They're saying. They're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, th. They're saying, th. They're saying, th. They're saying, th. They're saying, th. They're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, they're saying, where thing I would say, Rick, is that I've spoken to a few people who've listened

to the show and a lot of people, you know, this is the highlight of their week. It really is, no, a lot of bed-bound people and you know, and we're not putting, we're really putting the effort in my mind, they're brilliant. But it's sort of like getting old. You know, you might, you know, I still want to run upstairs and things, but I just, I'm out of the lift. I'd like to run upstairs. I just, I just can't anymore. And I feel that's that really, the comedy, the interesting things and the interesting things and it's all in the head.... And it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I... I, I.. I, I.. I, I.. I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. for me. But it is your birthday, 27, happy birthday. We're talking about, can I tell you one of the best presents I ever had? God.

But without doubt, all I ever wanted was a go cart. This is true. I was like, you know, sort of five, six, seven. And I eventually, for Christmas, um, I wasn't sort of spoiled in the sense that I got pocket money, but I always got what I wanted at Christmas eventually, because, you know, like, you know, working class mothers, they'd get out of the catalog and pay for it for the rest of the year. So, you know, I always got, you know, really, you know, as many presents as anyone else. And I got this go-kart. And I'd come in from a tea and this was fantastic and this went on for like weeks and weeks and wince through the summer the next time it was just fantastic go-kart I'd show off and then then one day I came home and I went it was always at the back of the shed so I went and I went and I went to the back door my go-kart I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their go. I was their go. I was their go. I was their go. I was their go their go their go their go their go their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tree. I was too too toooo tooe. I was tooeckecklea' tooecklea' tooecklea' tooecklea' their their the back door, my mom was sort of like washing out with that. And I went, where's my go-car?

I thought I had my knicks. She went, your dad swapped it? Your dad swapped it? Yeah. I went, he what? And I went, he was, he's the wheelbar. And I could see she didn't approve of this. And I went, to the the the the the the the thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thu, thu, thu, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your th. th. th. th. th. th. that, you that, you that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that,'m gonna tell him and then I'm gonna you know you know have this out and I went right she went it's your wheelbar and I went to the back of the shed and there was this wheelbar he swapped it was Jimmy

Dublin or he worked with yeah I don't know he was a respectable member of the community he was fine it was no I think he was an Irish gentleman and that's I don't know what his real name was and I the the the the the he was he was he was he was he was he was he he he he he he was I he he was I he he was I he he was I he he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was th was th was th was the th was th was th was he was he was he was he was he was he was th was th was th was th was th was th was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was I was he was I was I was I was he was he was he was a th I was a th I was a th was a th was a th was a thin he was a th was a the th. he was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I don't know what his real name was. And I think my dad must have been drunk and he went, you know, I want to get my son a go cart. And my dad, well, we've, my kids got one, he's probably at it for a year, he's probably bored with it. And I'll give you this wheelbar. And I went this wheelbar and I went to this wheel, and. And I could hardly, and I'm to their. And I' their. I' their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their their. I'm their. I'm their their their. I'm their their their to get to get to get to get to get to get their their their to get to get my to get my to get my their, I want their their their their their, I want their, I want their, I want their, I want their, I want their, I want their, I want their, I want their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I want thin, I want the. I want to get to get my to get my to get my to get my to get my toe. I want to get my to get my to get my thooomk. I want want want to get my the. I want there for hours trying to push this wheelbar up and down the garden, right? And it was okay though, because I was going on holiday soon. And I, seven years ago, I went to Bogna Regis, a place called Riverside, because some woman around the way had a caravan that we got free for a week. And it was great. Just wonderful.

And I used to go there with my mom and my nan. Oh, party time. Yeah. The age of seven to sort of know. No, it's good because you know when you're a kid and you wake up in a strange place, it sort of seems weird. You wake up at 3 o'clock the morning here and your grand pissing in an iron bucket. And you know, you know, you get dis- anyway. And, well, I met a little at a a the the thah at a thua. thua. that at a little, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, that, you're, the thi, the thage, the the the the the the the thage, the the the age, the age, the age, the age, the age, the age, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're the the the the the the the the the the thi, you're thin, thin, that, that, that, thin, thea. theat, thage, theat, the age, the age, the age. the age. the age. the age., and I met a little friend who's about my age, we both thought like, right, and he'd hired a go-cart. He had this great go-cart and he came around, he came around to my caravan and I went, I've got a go-cut. And my mom, I remember my mom opening the window of the caravan and going, don't lie. And I went, I had a go-car, I had a go-car.

Wow. Yeah. Did you ever talk to your father about the fact he swapped it? No. No, no. No. You still got that wheelbarrow? I think so.

I've grown into it. Yeah. I can nearly lift it now. Yeah, now I'm just too old to run up and down the garden with it. Now you get one of your several gardeners to use it all the phone. Wow. Oh, then. Dr. Dre, of course. Bad intentions. Well, it's, oh, do you want to give the winners of the competition? The winners?

Yes. For Joe Strum and the Mescaleros playing at Brixton Academy this evening we have some lucky winners the question I set was someone else famous is celebrating a birthday today. Yeah. I don't mean someone other someone else famous like I'm famous and someone else who's you could probably get into the monarch. Well pound off at least. Yeah and I said yeah which actor Dwight Schultz. they. told off so well. Which character did Dwight Shultz play? It started off so well. Which character did Dwight Shult's play? What made him famous in the 80s? He said, I remember his birthday, I don't know how old he is, probably in his 60s. Not in his 60s. The character who played, of course, was Howling Mad Dock, from the 18th. I was watching a... I was watching an 181 UK on UK gold the UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK. I thagag I always like to have something you know so I can talk to Camfield whenever I meet him. Yeah. And the thing about howling maddock is,

is his madness is one of those convenient kind of madness is where he's not like kind of depressive where he's trying to kill himself or he's just schizophrenic or he's just a bit eccentric. Yeah his madness. Madness is largely I'll do some funny voices he can't have the how he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he the the the the hea. He hea. He's hea. He's hea. He's he's hea. He's he's he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th is. He th is. He's's just it's rubbish. It's rubbish madness. Howling wacky Murdoch. Well that's what he is he's wacky. Howling, annoying student. Murdoch, I think he should have been called. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, the winners Carl. I think you took some answers. Tim and Neil. Well done Tim and Neil. Are they going together or are they? No. No. Lucky people. Lucky people. Lucky people. Lucky people. Lucky people. Lucky people. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. th. th. they's. they's. they's. they's, th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, th. How, thi. How, thi. How, thi. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. Howe. How, th. I don't think your heart's in it out anymore either, Carl. I was alright today, but Steve's really dragged me down. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, let's... Wait, wait a minute. I just need to know why.

No, do you know, like, people are being miserable around you? Yeah, I was full of beans when I came in. Yep, yeah. You got remembered to remember their thi' th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But. Yeah. But. But. You their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. Yeah because he was damn to do stuff. You know he'd been let down and they were worried about the next show. Yeah. And looking me like you were. I wasn't like going off and lying on the settea looking ill. Talking, talking in that voice. Oh he's done you again. Oh he's done you again. Just now being quite friendly. Carl have you ever mate, you got a quid off. All right? Oh, when you can get in places in Camden for free. Yeah, I'm all right, yeah.

Oh yeah, he's done yet. Right, now it's time for Song for the Lovers. Now this is one of my favorite songs of all time. You all know this song, better done by. That was this is this is this is this is this song this song this song this song this song this song this song this song thane thane thane thane thane thane thus thus thus thus thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thoombeck. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. than. than. the. thea. thea. thea. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. Oh. Oh come on, that was nearly a sentence. What's his name? Glenn Campbell. It's Galveston. Oh yeah. This is the man who wrote it. This is the original. This is Jimmy Webb. Oh yeah.

With the movie, I think it's about a bloat who goes off to the Vietnam War and he's missing his bird. And I've brought it down, I've brought it down a tone by saying bird. It's a beautiful. It's a beautiful. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thoom it. tho, tho, thi thi thi that's thi that's thi that's thi that's that's that's that's thi that's thi thi, thi, thi, thiol- thoom- thoom- thiol- thiol- thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom. Oh, thi, thi, thi--a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a''-a'ereruuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii tone by saying Bird. It's a beautiful song. It was irony. Just play it. Galveston. It's beautiful. to Galveston, oh Galveston, oh Galveston, Oh, Galveston, oh, Oh, Galvaston. I still hear your sea winds blowing. I still see her dark eyes glowing. She was 21. She was 21, when I left Galveston.

Oh, When I left Galveston. Oh, Galveston, oh, Galveston, Oh, Galveston. I still hear your sea waves crashing While I watch the cannon flashing

And I clean my gun And I clean my gun and I dream of gal stone. I dream of getting the water. Standing there, looking out to see. And is she waiting there on me? Or on the beach where we used to run. Galveston, oh, Galveston, I am so afraid I am so afraid I am dying. Before I try the deer shooting. Before I see your seabirds flying. It's like in the sun. At Galveston.

At Galveston. At Galveston. At Galveston. At Galveston. Jimmy Webb with Galveston. Now I know you enjoy the work of the Web. A lot of people will of course be familiar with his sons, the Webb brothers. Yeah, very different. Quite cool.

I went to see him live and he was just so cool. Just like doing his songs and telling the little one and he was just fantastic. That's my song for the lover, Steve. What he got for us. tell the little one ago. It was just, he's, he's fantastic. That's my song for lover, Steve. Well, no, I was just going to mention a couple of other gifts that my father got. Well, he got me once, I unwrapped once, having professed no interest ever in this particular artist, about as much interest as Winston Churchill. I once received, lucky me, the making of thriller.

It was a video behind the scenes on Thriller. I know what he thinks though. But he said to me. Steve loves to dance. No, he went, you love music and you love films. Yeah, no, then that's a film, yeah. But I've never professed any interest. I mean, it don't think it even had Thriller, the actual film on it.

It was just the making of Michael Jackson dancing around John Landis. Yeah it was rubbish. That's not very nice is it? But what did you say when you opened it? Brilliant. I love Jackson. Can't wait to watch this. Can we watch it now I said? What did he say? No. He's so ungrateful really? Yeah. Because I can't remember a time my dad bought me anything. It's always my man who bought it and my dad would give her the money. Yeah. You've got Ricky who's a his go cart. You've had a video bought for you and you're still not happy. I just seen selfish. I am. It's not so much to, I appreciate the fact that there is a gift. I think it's the sort of, it's the fact that the gifts are arbitrary and can be bought in the shop that's opposite where place he works. Tell Carl. This is the thought that counts. So I suppose if you the the the you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the you you the the the the the the the th mom for this. Listen to this, Carl, you'll love this. It's the thought that counts, right? So I suppose if you say that the thought that counts, right? So I suppose if you say that the thought that counts, that counts.

Okay, fair enough. But I found, EFomeyote, he said, what, you know, he said, what, I'm, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th.. the, th. th. th. tho, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, tho, thought, tho, tho, tho, the, the thought, the thought, the thought, the have a makeover, you know, and all the sort of treatment, you know, and the beauty treatment and actually love that, you know, then take her out, give her a meal and stuff. He went, okay, okay, okay. So he hangs up. I speak to him on the day of my mom's birthday, I say, what'd you get? What did you get? What do you get? What do you get? to make a trial? I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to to the day. I the day. I to the day. I the day. I to to the day. I the day. I to the day. I to to to to the day on on on. I the day on. I to to to the day on on. I speak on. I speak on. I speak on on on on on on on. I speak on on on. I speak on on on to to to to to to to to to the day on. I speak on on on. I speak on on on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on the day on. I speak on. I speak on. I speak on the day. I speak on the day. I speak on the day. I speak on the day. I speak on the day. I speak on the day. I speak on the day the day on. I speak on the day on the day on. I speak on the day the day went yeah for the garden. I went it's a trowel. You've been married 20 years and you got her a trowel. He went, it's stainless steel. I said, I said to him, it's a trowl dad, and you went, do you think I should have got it engraved. It is mental. And I went down to't this, but imagine, I got in there, he'd bought this trowel, right? And he'd also bought her an industrial-sized tin of coffee.

You know, those ones that are those big-sized ones you have in, right? Didn't he say she loves coffee, Steve? She loves coffee, she's said. I love that, that's meant that, like, the whole family and a trile, like she keeps that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, they. And, th. And, th. And, those. And, those. And, those. And, those. And, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those, those. And's got the presents that my sister's born there. A trowel, just holding a trowel and a tin of coffee. And me walking in wondering, I wonder if there's anything sort of that she regrets in her life. Ah, that's lovely. She loves coffee, Steve. She loves the garden. Carl, what's the worst present you've ever had? See, we don't really celebrate birthdays in our house, so... What are you from? What planet are you...

What do you mean you don't celebrate birthdays? Are you here from another world observing? Like, trying to blend in, but not quite managing to pull it off. She's not that fast about it. Right. I mean, it's... The mom and dad's are on the same day and I think that just was like that's a bit weird isn't it and Well they got married on their but their mutual birthday but Carl Can I just I'm Christmas but Carl there's a difference between you say what you mean their anniversary

the same day course it's on the same day? Yeah and the birthday? But Carl what I mean is that you you say that you don't really celebrate your birthday But presumably you have received some presents at some point in your life from your parents or anyone Yeah, uh Okay, well we'll come back to you later. Yeah, let's play a record. I'll have a think about they've got to be the back. Yeah, let's play a record that. that. that. that. tho'a. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. they. tha. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. tha. tha. tha. tha' tha' tha' they. they. tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. th. try. th got to be the band they always wanted to be, I'd have written them off in the early days, but no, me too, Steve. Just goes to show. Carl, any thoughts on what gift you've perhaps once received that you can joke about now? It was tragic at the time? No? No, no, I wouldn't. No. I didn would you love to hear from the listeners if maybe they've received some amusing gifts? No. No, I wouldn't. Um, so what are you doing tonight? You're going out for a little meal with your parents? Yeah. I thought you were coming. Yeah. Yeah. Any suggestions as to where we could go? I mean maybe people

like to phone in because I've got no idea. It's got to be largely meat-based. I found that I'll only eat meat. Do you know the steakhouse near me, it's closed down? Brilliant. That's one. There's a lot of sport to go. It's not stop there. I used to look across and think, is that a bingo hall? Or somewhere to eat? Yeah, neon. There's at the back, right, I'd add cocktails. Imagine you going in there with a DJ sitting there. He, ladies. Hi. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the th, the th, the the th. That, that, that, that, that, that, the the that, that's the the the that's the th. the th. that, th a DJ sitting there. He's leading. Hi. Did, do da, da. He found that. Go on.

Carl's got something sound. Is he a chance like your dad's like on the way into London now and I've heard you say you know what he got me this and he got me that and it could be like nip into a shop now to buy your rake and think of that. Oh, that'd be terrible, wouldn't it? Or the making of the bends? Yeah, it'll probably turn up and say, I was gonna get you a gift, Steve, but then I got high.

And we'll all laugh, you're a cultural reference. Yeah. Right, this link has run out of steam again. But don't worry because I can salvage it. Go on. Because it's time for under the covers. Cover me up. Oh, you got me covered. Between the covers.

I like covers. Ooh, cover songs. Yeah. And this was done by someone else. And it was this week I'd like to play. child Rick and we're all fans of the song Say My Name. Yeah, yeah. But if any of us heard the Scottish band Spare Sneir doing their version of it, I suspect not. Let's hear it now. Ugh. Spare Snare doing their version of Say My Name By This and His Child, what did you remember raw sex that used to be in French and Saunders was Roller River on and it's like. Is that basically what it's like? Do you thia the cover thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thi? Do thian. Do thian. Do thian, thi? Do thin, thin' thin' thin' th and th and th and th and thian. Spare, th and thian. Span, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th and th an thin, th an thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin. Sinsicican, thin, th bit like that. Do you think maybe the cover version sections running out steam? That's what we're playing. I think we should only ever do sort of six weeks a year on radio. Right. And then you know,

people are kind of remember that. It'll be beautifully preserved in their memories. Yeah. You know like Benny Hill. We used to do one show a year. Yeah, you know what I mean like. Like like. Like like. Like like. Like like. Like like. Like like. Like like. I. Like like. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. B. B. B. B. B. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We. We. Yeah. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. I. We. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I.. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I.? Imagine I'll offer a minute if you'd like, I'd do it every week for two hours. I don't think you'd have been so successful, to be honest, Steve. I think you'd have run out of ideas. Rick, I know that you are tired of coming in every Saturday and doing the show. I know I am and I suspect many of the listeners. But maybe we should leave it to the listeners, you know, if they want the the they want they want to to to to their they want to to to to their to to to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so s successful to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so to be so s to be so s to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be so successful to be so successful their to be successful their to be successful. to be successful. their s successful. to be successful. to be successful. to be successful. to be to be to be to be to be so s successful to be to be to be the like that though. Vote whether you want to, you know, like a binary sort, like, you know, up against someone knocks like, like Winner stays on in Paul. Yeah. I hate that winner stays on in Paul in pubs. It's just horrible. Fascist, don't it. You want to play with one tooth who just plays Paul all day. Yeah. Costs him nothing and he has 93 games. Of course you're not going to beat him. He's a professional by the the the the the the the the th. He's a professional by by by th. He's a professional professional by th. He's a professional. He's a professional. He's a professional. He's a professional. He's a professional. He's a professional. He's a professional by th. He's a professional by th. He's th. He's th. He's a professional. He's a th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi him. He's a professional by the end of the evening. Okay. XFM 104. to 4.9. Oh, very Christmas. Haweigh, the four hero by Les Fleur. Great bloc, Les. Work with him in Blackpool. Weird. I have very high voice, can't grow a beard. But, uh, yeah, I'm Joshin.

Probably pronounced Le Fleur, isn't it? La Fleur. Yeah, we know all that. Oh, we know all that. We noticed all those huge posters, advertising Christian O'Connell's breakfast show. They're all over the place now. They're mainly on the tube.

You wouldn't know Javais. What with your driver and everything? the kind of money they must have spent on those, advertising our show, and those people were tuning in and today's show is what they heard. I was actually thinking, right? Because we do, sort of, we do care in a way, and we couldn't get over it today, you know, just to, just to word to the kids, this is what alcohol can do to you. Yeah, yeah, it's over and I th is thover, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. th. th. Yeah, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, th. We, sort, sort, sort, sort, th. We, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. we. th. we. we's, we, we're, we're, we do, we do, we do, we do, th just this is we're not right. What worries me is it's like I don't know it's like in my sort of hangover state it's like I've kind of woken from a dream and I've sort of thought to myself all the stuff we're saying today is what we normally say we can week and we think is brilliant and it's yeah and it well though, because I know you're worried about that. Yeah, because you just, you just get beef, didn't you, for the first 15 years?

Largely just beef, yeah. Beef and milk? Mainly uncooked, it was just, you know, it just wheeled from the cow. the cow. Yeah, just suckle it from it from. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just, just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just, just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just. Yeah. Yeah. Just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah............................... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We will indeed. I always wondered if Bruno Brooks ever got complaints actually, when he once played rage against the machine killing in the name of, and he must have dozed off or something because he didn't realize, all the swearing, you know, F you know, F you know F-U I won't do what you told me and he just left it playing. It probably wasn't. Good point, doing internet radio, which is of course where we'll be next week. Yeah, if we buck our ideas up. Um, quick question.

Go on. I just realized who Carl looks like. Moby. He does. Not the first person to say it. Yeah, suddenly just dawned on me then. Yeah. So if Moe is one of those people that I think is fantastic. Every time I see him, everything he says I agree with, is lovely and I just can't get into his music. It's bad.

It's like, I feel that it's like a mate you can't say, oh, I give it up. Because I think he's fantastic. And I want to go, why don't you do something else? From all interesting views. I bored myself then. If you've got a pop star that you'd like Ricky Gervais to pass comment on, why not get in touch? Yeah, what are you views from Rick Witter from Shed Seven? Uh, Rick Whitter, you know, I like their effort. I think he's quite, you know, got a nice hair. What about Chakademus and McLaurs? What was their hit? Tease me, tease me. Anyway, more of that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. th. th. th. thi. the. th. th. What thageck. What th. What th. What th. What are th. What are th. What are th. What are th. What are th. What are th. What are th. What are th. What are th. What are th. What are th? What are th? What are th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. What tease me tease me. Anyway more of that next time I'm sure. Oh that's it. Are we are we straight to the song for the ladies now? Yeah so we just

get it over with? Yeah let's knock it this on the the ladies this week. the song for the ladies this week. Song for the ladies this week. the week. their tr going to really be good next week. Happy birthday or? Happy birthday to you? No, we're going to start work on next week show. From then on, it'll be year zero. Yeah. We left so much, then we cried. We cried all night. And you left your shoes in the tree. With me. I'll wear them to your house. Tonight.

Tonight. Magic in the end, tonight. Yes, I just might try her how she made me feel. Today. Today. It may feel today. Today, today, today. Feels right. We slept on leaves on my drive all night. And you gave me no resting. Nothing in this life for me to my, but nothing ever seemed so bright. But nothing ever seemed so bright. And if you should lose me, you will track me down again before

the summer to the summer ends. Because love is contagious when it's all right. Love is contagious. Love is contagious. Love is contagious when it's all right. Love is contagious.