The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S1E4 (December 1, 2001)

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

The show ran between September 2001 and May 2002 before Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film the second series of ‘’The Office’’. Initially, Pilkington’s on-air presence was relatively minimal compared to what it would become. Gervais and Merchant only occasionally called for Karl to weigh in with his thoughts, while the two mostly talked to each other, with the “links” between songs comprising only about 30 minutes of the show’s 2-hour run time.As Pilkington’s personality moved to the forefront, the talk portion of the show expanded to roughly an hour per 2-hour broadcast. While the show relied largely upon a stream-of-consciousness format, Pilkington made attempts to keep things more conventional by insisting on running contests and airing pre-recorded segments and regular “features”.

Muse on XFM 104.9. It's a very show, isn't it? With Steve Merchant. Yeah, yeah, we're all here. Oh, my lad. I can't wait. I can't believe it. We've got some great stuff coming up, Steve. Well, I'm being honest. There's some great tune. There's some great tunes. We've got too many to mention. Don't mention them. Where's about 20 actually? Is there? We could mention them? I've a a a their their their their their th. We're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're all all all all th. We're all all th. We're all all all th. We're all tho. We're all all th. We're all all th. We're th. We're th. I's got a brand new feature. Okay. You know I do my film with you? Loving it. And you know we do run for the covers and song for the lovers and that the new feature. That film sounds good. Right. It's not the film with you. It's a track from a film. That's brilliant. Yeah. That's absolutely. People would be desperately look forward to that. And they'd just be some chat as well. they're thin. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thathe that's the that's that. that. th. to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. tho. tho. that's that. that. that's got got got got got got got got got got got got got got got. that. that. that. that. that. the the things things things tho things tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th forward to that. And there'd just be some chat as well. There'd just be some Natterin. Carl, have we got anything to give away this week? No. Ooh, it's a shame. Yeah.

It's quite like giving stuff away. Makes me feel quite powerful. Does, you know, in the week, is there any meetings like, oh, what? What should we give like Ricky and Steve to give? They go who? They go, who? Saturdays? I don't work Saturdays. No, but they're still on the air Saturdays. Is it? Who listens all a Saturday? Yeah. Between one and three?

Oh, that's the worst time, isn't it? They sort of hear you're, you know, taking the Mickey out of what thears. You're given. And I think thi this week, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, thi, their, thi, thi, they're thi, they're they're they're, they're they're, they're their, their, they're, they're, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, they's, they's they's they's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. they're thoo. thooooo. thoooooooo. thoooooooooooooo. thou. the. tho.'re being punished. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you what we're being punished for, I've been subversive and rock and roll. Is that a crime Rick? I don't think so. High five. I'm five. You've got to hit the hand.

You're not tall of me, aren't you? Just hit. Hi, the than last week. Last week was a point I don't want to talk about. Well it wasn't too bad actually. Was it? Apparently no I said we were really off and Steve was hung over and I was tired we couldn't be bothered and they were going to know as good as any other week. Which is pretty disappointing. You want him to go well well I'll tell you what it was the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We were. We were. We were. We were were were were were were th. We were were the worst. We were the worst the worst the worst the worst th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were th. We were the. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were. We were the. We were the. We were really. We were really. We were really. We were th still Maxine's sister. As opposed to it was one of the best. But rubbish. Yeah. Yeah.

Good. So we're going to really, we've got up up the ante today. Come on, Carl. Let's make this. Carl, let's make it's the best show ever. All right. Do you have a cute guy. And I'm not having a girl I genuinely think you are, so don't have a go back at me. Oh, I've got some news for you Steve.

Go on. Where is it? Ah, where is that thing? Right. They are. Company magazine are compiled in a 50 most eligible. to thirty. You're well in there. The's the May. T. T. T. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. to to to to to to to to to tho. tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the tho. the the tho. the tho. to. the. Oh., age 20 to 30, you're well in there. I'm straight in there. I'm straight in there. C. D. C is, it says good looking. Fine, yeah, I'm eligible so far. And it says not, oh no, this is what rules you up probably. It says not necessarily Brad Pittesque. And you are a little bit. So they say. It must be British and come from one of the following regions. London, Southeast, Southwest, you know. I think they just name all the regions of Britain.

Yes, they could just say from Britain. Really? Um, employ, sorry, Carl, go on. Is the height restriction on something like that? Well, we're leaving that. So what is this? Is this a serious thing? What is it? It's a most eligible bachelor?

This is so me. Do you know any of the boys should be perfect for us company girls? Past bachelors have included TV presenters, Derma-Olliri? Hey, I mean with Dermo-lary, he knows me, he's normally on isn't he? Jamie Thexter. It's not most eligible person who knows a bachelor. The models Rob Warrington and James Polansky. The singers, Lyndon David Hall and Richard Blackwood. Yeah. Wouldn't necessarily consider him a singer.

Controversial. I'm so in there. He's having a dig at Blackwood. Hey, I'll tell you for the Farmer Wants a Wife. Oh yeah, which is a show, which you mentioned, yeah, you did, which is a show where I think farmers, because obviously it's very difficult for them to meet women. Wants a wife? And I'm thinking, hello, I dear, Steve Merchant wants a wife.

It's not bad, is it? It's a TV show, that. it happens. I don't mind you know because who cares you know I'll do I'll have anything whatever they can choose be fine you know. See that I think yeah Steve Merchant wants a farmer have even better. Steve Merchant wants it. Yes Steve Merchant wants it. I'm thinking sort of the maybe the Bravo Channel on you know or ITV2 yeah it's an idea Rick I'm just flying out of the flight yeah yeah well we'll think about that yeah phone don't phone in it it it it it it it it it the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. I'm th. I'm th. I'll they's they's they's they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they's they'll they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's. I I I I's. I's. I's they's they's they's they's th. I's th. I's th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll try. I'll th. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll th. I'll the. Ithe flagpole. Yeah, well, we're thinking about that. Phone, don't phone in, it's not worth it. Let's play some more music. There is a slim shady in all of us. That was Eminem, XFM, 104.

Steve. Yeah, no, no, I was just thinking, actually, I was thinking, I was just thinking, no, no, no, a couple, I'd tell you, you'd have been proud of me last night. No, listen, you'd have been proud of me, because I was walking back from the shops, I was carrying two cans of wheat lager, it was Friday night, it was Friday night Rick, time to go a bit crazy. And there was this woman, and there was this woman, and there was a woman, and there was a woman, it it it it was a woman, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I was a tha, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It. It. It's, it. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It was, ta. It was, ta. It was, ta. It was, tri. It was a. tri. tri. tri. It was a. It she was just staggering, and some truck drove by and she just went, oh, come over here, come over here. And the car just drove by whatever. And she always talked to me. And she saw me come in, and she saw the beer in my hand. She couldn't believe her luck. And she stopped and she tried to stop me. And I sort of, and I sort of step one side, step one way to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the car, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come to to to to the car, come, come, come to come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come over, come over, come over, come over, come over, come over, come over, come over, come over, come over, come, come, and, come, come, come, and, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come,, come here, like trying to motion. And I was really scared. It was like some, you looked around and thought beggars can't be Jesus. But then for a minute I was thinking, well, you know, I mean it's Friday night. You know, I'm in a mood to make whoopi.

But I thought it's probably best to avoid it. And I actually managed to run away and avoid her. as I was running on the road, come, come with me, come with me, come with me. But I was thinking it was like some kind of like sort of Hansel and Gretel nightmare. You're going like an old lady in your way. You're going there and there's loads of other people that look just like it. Exactly, very thin. We've been in a trained. Yeah, but I thought you'd be proud of me. There was, that was, that, that, that, that, that, that, it down and that yeah exactly you see you went you got in and went what have I done Sooner again tonight well I'm just gonna hang around by the offy see what happens you know looking forward to Christmas loving it I'm always a big fan of Christmas actually yeah I'm not about humbug time it's not it's not it's not far now is it this this month now is it

is it we in December is it the first yeah is the first is is is is is the first is the first is the first is the first is the first is the first is the first is the first is the first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first is the first first first first is the first is the first first first is the first first is the first is the first is the first. the first. the first is the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the th. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's it, it's this month now? Is it? Is it the first? Yeah. Geez. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, brilliant. We, I was quite excited because this week in the, I think it was this week in the papers, the sun, and I think all the other papers actually, had the first of the kind of giveaway TV supplements that comes at listing all, the shows that are on. When they, when the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I was, I, the, I'm, I'm, I'm, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the. Yes. Yes. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yes. the other, when they bring them out this early, is you open it and it's like, you think, you go and see what films are on and stuff, and you go through it, and it's just about half of the listings are to be confirmed. To be confirmed, to be confirmed. It's utterly, it's utterly, unless it's like an amazing thing on tele, you know, you come into a party? We got one, Friday 29th.

I don't know, I'm going to watch something on the TV. There's a good film. What is it? Not being confirmed yet. It's to be confirmed, but I can just, you know, I won't be at the party. the TV timesk. I tha tha. I's tha. I's, tha. I's, tha. I's, tha. I's, tha. I's, tha. I's, tha. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I'. I'er. th. th. thrown. throwne, the, thrown. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I. I'll, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll, I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, th. I'll, thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. the, the, the, the been paid, a big bag of sweets for me. And you know, the TV times. The TV times, of course, because you're working class, the TV times. The radio times for a class, you're a middle class. Yeah, but the bumper edition at Christmas, it's like two weeks of tele, she was sit down like that Thursday night, theymeattings, they........... And, thaph. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, they. And, they. And, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the TV, the TV, the TV, thea, thea. the TV, the TV, thea, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, thea, thea, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, thea. And, thea. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the TV, the TV, the TV, the TV, the TV, the TV, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And, thea. And we tick off all the things we were going to watch over the next tear. It didn't happen did it because I was you know I was squeaking around hyperactive

making people playing with toys stuff and not watching telly really. I bet you but if you watch any telly it'd have been really rubbish stuff the whole family was I imagine probably Dennis Norton's laughter volume volume 12 or whatever it is. I don TV and we perhaps just listen you know to the concerto on Radio 3. Ooh, yeah we weren't allowed to turn the telly off, really. I don't know what a concerto is. I don't know what a concerto is it? I don't know what a concerto is it? It's like a posthose instruments, the kind of squeeze box. That's a concertina. It's a concertina.

Yeah. My nan used to play a concertina. Really? Yeah, I don't know if that's interesting to you. I don't know why you choose the concertina of all the instruments to play. It's not the sexist, only kind of the saunits normally. What my thanne? attack we had not only were warned but we had a little tune. That's beautiful. Yeah. You play your grand? You can play your grand. Yeah. Once she had a bit of an accident, she said sit down kids and she came in there and she

had a corrugated neck. Of course. Where it's gone horribly wrong. It's happening again Steve. It's going all wrong. to be going all wrong. to be it's going the game. they. It's happening thin, what is happening to happen happening to happen happening to happen having to go any like me gorillas rock the house yeah x f f fn the true mrs to they's who are you steefathes to theyre together again that I can't believe it the old thing they said it never plus car he's the button yeah it's not draw attention yeah to him we were talking a to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the thin the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the thin to to to to to to to the to to to the to to the to ty ty ty ty ty ty thy thy thy tho they they they they they they they they Draw attention to him. We were talking about squeeze boxes and got me to think what's happened to him? You don't see them. I mean instruments should be around forever, you know what I mean? The piano forte. As I call it, it's around. You know, the saxophone was only I think the 20s or 30s, but you know I can't imagine it going away. There's a number of instruments probably, I know. Lute. The lute you rarely see now, which he's crying. Except maybe on a men without hats.

What was men without hats? Or Merillian? Right, right, yeah. We can dance if we want to dance if we want to. And Pierre Trudeau's daughter was in that video. And Pierre Trudeau's daughter wasthat he was in a sandwich shop. It's fine, it just shows that he's human. Bruce Dickinson, he didn't recognize him. I went like.

Bruce Dickinson from my maiden? I had no idea. I'd say he's really tiny, it was almost laughable. Is he married? That's annoying me. He's just alienated himself. now because he's pretty much of a guru. They never leave their bedrooms Rick. Yeah but they've got powers. They're putting crystals now on toes and they're gonna turn you into a... All right? Well no, I was having a go. I wasn't having to go. I stopped myself realizing it wasn't much of a threat.

Rick, go on. What else is dying out? Pipes? Pipes. You never see people smoking pipes. Young people now are not smoking pipes. No. You see old people, you're right, but kids, you've got to start taking up pipes, otherwise they're going to die out because people of the older generation, they're going to die soon. I'm not smoking a pipe. I should be. With pipes, though, did it like, waspes from the 1930s at when they're at Oxbridge they're always smoking pipes in a Tweed jacket. Yeah that was when they're they're the theyrea but they're they strenupe like university. Yeah but there's lots of things that should die out in is that they're not even in Oxbridge now they're not even smoking pipes. I bet there is no one smoking pipes. I'd like to know if there's anyone listening who's under the age of 30 that smokes a pipe

regularly and I don't mean like a crack pipe. And I'll guarantee they went to Oxford or Cambridge. Okay what's the number? Oh wait? Oh wait, 700, 800 one two three four four. Ricky dot your vase at XFM.co. UK. Pipes are dying out. Snuff. That's as good as gone. Yeah. Snuff. Yeah, trill biz. My friend always said if you won like loads of money on the lottery, he'd like to try really hard to try and bring back as a fashion accessory, the cape. See I'm quite like the cape. I quite like but still off. It's not like a coat, you know what I mean? Where you drape out of your shoulders and that can fall down. Carl, you're not a fan of the cape, you're turning your nose up with a cape. That's a madness. No pockets. Good point. You can have some kind of inner sort of smugglers. Pochers pocket. If they did that I'd thipoch. If that, if th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If they did th. If th. If they did th. If th. If the they did the the the the the the the the the theat thease theate. If the, I'd theat you're thoes thoes thogedue thoes that I that I thoes that I that I that I that I that I that I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. You th. I th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeat theeat theeeeeeeat thooooooooeeeeea thea thea the the the th, that sounds good. It's that sounds good. It's just gone off

ass, it's a new feature. That sounds good. For a minute there I was completely lost. Remind me again, what's that sounds good? I thought no wait on it's that film seems good. Oh yeah! That film sounds good. Right, this isn't my famous film review which I've got coming up. It's, it's quite a delicate subject but I think I deal with that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to that's to to to to that's to to that's to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their tha the. their their their their their their their their their their thea.a.a. I'll the theole. I'll the. I'll thea. It's brilliant. It's quite a delicate subject, but I think I deal with it sensitively. Brilliant. Okay. This is, that film sounds good. Right. And I've taken the film.

Remind us again what this is what that is. Well, it's going's fantastic. Wonderful song. You'll only like this if you're really cool. Yeah, if you're really I had to do to survive. I'm not saying what I did was all right. Trying to break out of the ghetto was a day-to-day fight. Being down so long, getting up didn't cost for mine. I knew there was a better way of life and I was just trying to find.

You don't know what you do until you put under pressure. Foss 110th Street is a hell of a test. Across 110 speed. Across 110 speed. Pimps, trying to catch a woman that's we. Across a hundred and dead street, Push this won't let the junkie go free. Across a hundred and ten street. Woman trying to catch a trick on the stream.

Do you get the the street. You get the cross a hundred and two streets. You can find it all in the street. You can find it all in the street. I got one more thing I like to talk to you about right now. Hey brother, there's a better way home. There's a better way home. Shorting that coat, shooting that dope man, you're copying out. Take my advice, is he the liver die? You got to be strong if you want to survive.

The family on the upper side of town will catch hell if we find a ghetto around. And every city will find the same thing going down. Calling me the capitol, baby, get all time same thing going down. Calling me the Capitol to a period of every get all time. Let me sing it. Across a hundred and ten street, you're trying to catch a woman's neat. Across a hundred and ten stee, wishes won't get your giggle free.

Oh, across a hundred and ten speed. I won't time I kept the trick on the street. Ooh, baby. A crow's a hundred and ten speed. You can find it all. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And the sea., yes you can. Oh, look around you, look around, you look around, you look around, yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, Bobby Womack across 110th Street. It's great isn't it? That's a lovely feature.

That's the first feature. Ooh, that film sounds good. Brilliant. Yeah. I'm thinking I'm actually bringing out maybe a compilation of song for the lovers. That's a lovely feature. That was the first feature. Ooh, that film sounds good. Brilliant. Yeah? I'm thinking I'm actually bringing out maybe a compilation of song for the lovers. What sort of things can we that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. That th. That th th. That th th. That th. That th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's thi th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, maybe a compilation of song for the lovers. What sort of things can we hear, can we expect in the future? I know you're a big fan, this is brilliant. He bought the soundtrack to the film Brave Heart, which is just kind of, no, let me just explain which is just kind of big orchestrated numbers, right? James Horner? As far as he's concerned, that's classical music, thrific, his collection. It's the music from Braveheart. Oh, I sit there and I think, yeah, I'd probably sort of lead my peoples.

Yeah, you know, he's obsessed with BraveHart. He actually relates to William Wallace. He actually thinks, yeah, that's not something I'd be doing. Yeah, it is. What was it you were working out to the other day as well? You know he's got like a personal gym, like a gym gym gym gym, like a gym, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th.. th. He's th. He's th. He's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I, I th. I th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi, I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd thi. I'd probably, I Is it a gym, gym expert? A trainer, you've got a personal. I boxed with this bloc. Yeah, he goes boxing in like some underpass somewhere. Right? Every day, like every single day he goes boxing, right? And what was it you were training to this week?

What music did you have on? Oh my god. I have I have actually, I th. I have, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, he goes, th, he goes, th, th, th, he goes, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, th. He, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. He goes, tho. tho. thoooooooo. He goes, thoooooooo. He goes, tho. He goes, tho, tho, but I have actually gone red, haven't I? Yes, right. It's very hard for embarrassing, I was working out and training and boxing. Oh my God. You're gonna have to play a record after this. To the Rocky soundtrack. He's bought a CD which has got the best music from all of them. Now was it, I of the Tiger, or was it? It starts up with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with I with with with with with with the eye with with with with with the eye with with with the eye then it goes, tun, today, that's da da, da, da,

does any of your training with your trainer, does it ever involve you running through snow with a log chained to your back, like in rocky horse. And helping, I was often after help Russian peasants, because their cart-horse is like falling over, but I lift it up. Whereas the other fellow he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he is the, he's is the, he's the, I was the, I was the, I was the, I was the, I was the, I was thi, I was the'er, I was tho, I was thi, I was thi, I was thin'er, I was thi-upin'er, I was the, I was the, I was train, I was train, I was, I was, I was, I was the, I was the, I was the, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I was thin, I was the other fellow he's training in a posh gym having injections I'm not I'm just like breaking rocks and punching dead cows. Where did you get that from? It's handy one put it on it? Put it on what is it? He can't hear because he's got his put your headphones on? Why it was it? You'll love it you'll love it. Yeah that's magnificent yeah Ricky Givase his theme yeah every time we sik-I they. they? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi? thi? their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Where. Where. Where th. Where thi? Where thi? Where thi? Where thi? Where's thi? Where's thi? Where's the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeat th. Where's th. Where's th. th. theeeeeeeee. Where's the. Where's the. That's now Ricky Gervaisy's theme tune. Yeah, every time we start the show we should just start with that. Win Ricky, win. You two, walk on. I've got to give it to him. I hated you two for about 15 years. You said it before. I know, I know, but I love that one now. I just love that album. Oh, they can't put a foot wrong. Do you ever listen. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, Ricky, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. thi. W. W. thi. W. th. th. W Because I know you tend to buy albums just for the singles. When you could of course just buy the singles. I know where he's going. I bought

light funky ones. Oh I wanted to say that. Yeah I bought light funky ones because I are. The light funky ones. Do you remember the light funky ones? That was like a light like a year ago? What did they do? They did. Do you remember that? It's like a light sort of summer nonsense. I've got a lot of money. It's nothing to me, okay? The light to funk. I want a bit of light funky ones once. That's 15 quits, it's nothing to me.

You put the two singles on, right? The light funky ones. Oh, it's just, my street creds gone down, aren't it? Rocky soundtrack and the light funky ones, you'd make two mistakes. Let's not forget Brave Heart, the soundtrack. Oh yeah, it's a good film. Rick, we were talking earlier about stuff. True story about our little Australian, freed the Scottish. The stuff that's dying out, I think you and I and salvage. I thought the trilby was dying out. I'll surprise you. Watching Top of the Pops last night, yeah, Jimiro Quai was wearing one, and then lo and behold, Danny Minokie came on one. She had one as well.

I thought, blithe me, thoo. I thought, blind me. Those two people they were trylby and good. the trilby then. the tr let let let let let let let let the trulby. Let let their. Let th. Let th. Let. Let. Let. Let. Yeah. Yeah. Let. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.... Yeah.. Yeah............... I.. I.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Yeah. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Yeah. I was. I was. I was. I was. Iler hat. Carl would you wear a bowler hat? I know you'd wear a tribe. You have to really? You must have looked like a... That's brilliant. What? Because you're a Mancunian? Well look, there's a phase, wasn't there, when was it? I think that was just around your way. It was in Manchester. They're still getting a job lot of trilbies. And they're still getting a lot of truebus tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tre. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's brilliant. That's brilliant. That's brilliant. That's brilliant. that's brilliant. I's that's that's that's brilliant. I's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's trendy, no, you know, no, Sean Radow is one of these. Does it? Yeah, yeah, go on. Yeah. Quid. And then everyone in your street had Trilv is on. But you've never wore a bowler? Never. What about Kangal bowler? You might think about it.

I'll tell you. I'll tell you what, I would like to to to wear wear to wear to wear to wear the b to persevering with the bowler for years. They still look good in it though. They're still looking good. They're dapper guys. Yeah. There's a lot of the Jolly Green Giant. He had quite a distinctive look which is obviously what I've been thinking of exploiting. What the little, oh that I know the little one, uh, sort of like a little dress. Was it corn crop? Yeah. Corncorned? Corned. Yeah. they. Corn crop was was was was was was was. Corn crop. Corn crop. Corned. Corned. Corned. their colly. their colly. their colly. their colly. Yeah. Yeah. their co. Yeah. the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the jo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the jo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the the the the the the the been the sweet corn and the peas. Now I reckon it was his enormous Jolly Green knot. I mean you must have got up every day and gone look at that. Ho ho! Oh, he must have been so happy. The only thing is like, in the case, in the case, like, in the case, like when Gulliver and he was in Lilliput and all the Pliputians, they're helping, they're helping, they're helping, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I must have they're thi, thu. I, thi, they must have they must have, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh........... Oh. Oh, th.. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. thi. thi. tho, thooooo, th. th. thoooooooooo. Oh, th. sort of have a little sneaky, you know, a little tug, a little J. Arthur Rank? I don't know, because it's

like, it's very tricky to do that. Exactly. You can't hide. They go, oh, you know, I mean, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, the... Oh mean the title wave was pretty desperate. I know. It's how would he have gone to the mayor and said I need, I need a Kleenex the size of a tennis court and a gigantic copy of the Daily Star? No, I never understood with Giants how they actually got that big in the first place because what food was around to make them, because not only were they like big big, but they, but, but they, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they, and they.... they. their, and they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their, and they. their, and their It's not well documented, Carl, is it? You know they don't actually exist and never have. Hmm.

Okay. Right, it's time for a feature, I think. Carl, I've got to. There was a TV show I watched once on the history channel. This is the history channel. It was a history of were wolves, right? The history of were predicated on the fact that at and the whole show is predicated on the fact that at the end, we'll tell you if they ever existed or not. Yeah, just waiting.

And I go, come on, we're gonna be late. Hold on, he's gonna tell us if they existed or not. the warewals? the warewals? Michael Aspahs, and the tho is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is thahs, I is thw..... It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they the covers, run for cover. Here come the covers. Yeah, covers. I like cover songs. This is a cover version. Yes. This is from an album which is a bit hit and miss, as these things often are.

It's different artists covering the songs of Leonard Cohen. You've got the pixies on there. Riem, Nick Cave, different people. is Lloyd Cole, not someone I'm normally a fan of, but doing a head on the unmade bay, while the limousines weighed in the streets. And those were the reasons. That was New York we were running for the money and the flay. That was called love for the workers and song probably still is, for those of them left.

Then you got away, and now didn't you, babe? You just turned you back on the crowd. Yeah, you got away, I never once heard you say, I need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, and all of that driving around. I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel, your famous your heart was a legend. You told me again that you preferred a handsome man. But for me you preferred a handsome man.

But for me you would make an exception. And clenching your fists for the ones like us who are oppressed. Our figures of beauty. Yeah, fixed yourself. You said, well, never mind we are ugly, but we have the music. Mammy, you got away now, didn't you, babe? You just turned you back on the crowd. Oh, you got away.

I never once heard you say, I need you, I don't need you. I don't need you. Baby, I need you. I don't need you. all of that driving around Man, you got away now, didn't you, babe? You just turned you back on the crowd. Oh, and you got away, I never once heard you say. I need you. I don't need you, baby, I need you.

I don't need you. I don't need you. And all of that, driving around. I don't mean to suggest, I loved you the best. Can't keep track of each falling robin. I remember you well in a Chelsea hotel. I don't think of you that awful. Lloyd Carl doing his version of Chelsea Hotel.

Under the covers. Under the covers. I thought it was a beautiful version. It's lovely. Apparently, I think it's a song written. I'm sweet. I think it's about his brief romance with Nico, who made a name, of course, with the other undergown.

And it's interesting because I'm looking at this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is a tragic drugs victim. But it's interesting because I'm looking at this is a compilation called I'm your fan which is cover songs of Leonard Cohen's music and as I say R. I am there's people on the Nick Cave who are still going there's a couple of names you don't tend to hear off that often now the house of love. Oh yeah. Rarely hear them do you. That petrol. Oh yeah. That petrol emotion. Oh yeah, that petrol that. That petrol. That petrol. Oh yeah. That petrol. That petrol. Oh yeah. That petrol. That petrol. Oh yeah. That petrol. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That petrol. Oh yeah. That petrol. Oh yeah. That petrol. That petrol. Oh the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. musician or is it... I don't know. Well if you know who Robert Forster is... I think it's a right... The Lylac Time. The Lylac Time. The Lylac Time. They're on there as well. Can't just say a name of band and laugh.

You kind of it's the Lylacic time. Wow. Did I tell you before that we, my friend and I once listed the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, th, tho, the, thi, tho, the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-lough, thiiiiiiiiiiola, thiiiolaila, thoiiioliola, thoiolou, th should be rude but aren't like cassock we always thought yeah and and the ballads and he always put in like the blow monkeys yeah which I was there it could be a very rude but isn't it isn't it okay that could be a new feature couldn't it we're featured up aren't we this is we've still got the film review to a? the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the film review to come. Song for a lover's is coming up in a few minutes. Song for the ladies. Yeah, song for the ladies. Well, if I can squeeze in a hip hop track I'd love to do it. Yeah, that's called Our Hip Hop Track bit. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it's just, do you have a classic, Rick? What were you thinking of going well, isn't it? I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. Well, I'm looking forward to Pop Idol. Pop Idol.

I've not been watching it. You're joking. Yeah, I don't know what's happened really. I've lost interest. Oh, well, it is like most things. It's like most things. The preliminary rounds. But sometimes I watch those sort of things and I sort of laugh and I think, oh dear, I shouldn't be laughing him because he's not just rubbish, he's verging on the mentally ill. Do you know what I mean? So as people that go along, you want to go along?

Who told you to go along? What were you thin? What were you thin? Well, it's the fact I know I've warmed to him. He's come around Dr. Fox. He's a lovely little shiny tree truck. Now often, look, he's not always there wee can, is that because he's off doing medical operations? He's got his practice still. He's got to maintain that. Yeah, and you know, it's, isn't the big ones tonight? It's the big ones one. It's the big ones, when I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's, the big ones, the big ones, when, when, when, when, the big ones, the big ones, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's, he's not, he's not, he's not, he. He's, he. He's, he's, he's not, he's not, he's not. He's not, he's not. He's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not. It's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's notthat he's got to do. So, you know, isn't it some of the big names though? It's Darius Dinesh tonight. It's Darius in the fat boy. And the fat guy, yeah. I notice he shaved his fat boy. The big thing that makes you... But I notice in the sun though. He's got quite a weak chin. He's having a laugh. He's dissing Darius. I'm not claiming to be a pop star.

Wow. Oh, can you feel the love in the room? Yeah, let's have a little song. No, but I'm looking forward to it. My favorite all the way through has been the little fellow with the startler. almost certainly he's going to win. I think so all that Welsh girl it was very good. The one that made Pete Waterman cry. That was great. Yeah. She was good though. She was good though, they're great. They're really good. But you know it'd be nice to see Fatty get some recognition. He's too lucky. I mean he's just a weird shape though. It's it it turns my stomach and I'm one to talk. No I know. It's just. It's they. It's they. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good. It's good good good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's. It's good. It's. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It his job. It's, you know, glandular. Yeah. It's not as greed. But, you know, he's got a good voice and why not?

We've had Demis Roussos in the charts. Allison Moyet. There's not been a fatty for a while, has tho' who's been a big star? I mean, Moy-a may would have been the last one. Jerry Wattest. She was pretty big, won't she? Who? Jerry Halliwell? Yeah. She was never a bloater. Have you seen this bloke off pop idols? It's like he's got three Jerry Halliwell strapped to his waist and then wearing a big coat over the top. To smuggle the meat? Yeah. To a no-Hally well zone. I reckon I tell you what he's gonna do. I reckon he's gonna he's gonna take it off and it's just a big big big a big big big big big a big big big big big big big big big a big big big big big to to to to to he's a big he's a big he's a big he's a big he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he're he're heary to he's he's he's to to to to to to to to to to to heary heary heary heary heary he's heary he's heary he's heary he's he's he's he's got he's got he's got he's got he's got he's he's he's he's he's he's to to to to to to to to to he to he he he to to he he to he to to to he to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to hea hea hea he he he he he he you know the prejudice of the world. Yeah. All right? Yes. Hey. And how come that little fellow with the stutter when he's singing? Hold on. Hold on. I notice that's cleaned up actually. I bet she's not even Welsh. Exactly. And apparently Darius is not a knob.

Dandy Warhols on XFM 104. 9. About 20 past 2 the Ricky Javais show. With Steve Merchant. Yeah, he's still here. The Christmas ads had come on, I noticed. They're on now. And I noticed, I was watching last night, I watched until you last night. And do you think that the advertising executive for Cabras Rose's Chocolates just comes in once a year? they go, what about what you got this year? and some old ladies singing, thank you very much, thank you very much, just shot in a street somewhere. Yeah, that'd be fine, it worked last year.

Yeah, every... I've been going like, like since I can remember. I've never seen another advert for cabares roses except that. Exactly, there's certain things that kind of you up Christmas, like you got your turkey and all that, and you got your roses. Yeah, walrus. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh dear. Pizza. All words. Drink driving. Oh dear. I'm sorry, I forgot what I went in for.

Um. What are we doing? We were doing something. Be careful with a lot of money involved. Yeah. Oh, you can't. I was reading the paper this week that Charlotte Church, you know, little kind of singing sensation, she's been slagging off the firemen who've been salvaging people

and refugees and stuff. No, but I saw the news, I saw on the news that she's apparently, and she claimed that she'd been misinterpreted. But the Channel 5 news thought this was a big enough story to say that Charlotte Church had been saying that the September, the, the, the, the, the, thapape, thape, thia, thia, thia, th.. She, th. She, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, tho, tho, tho, thi, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she, she's, she's, th... She, thi, she's, she's, thin, she's, thin, thin's, she's, thin's, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi's thin, thin, thi's thin, thi's thi's thi's thi's thtragedy had been blown out of proportion. Right, she's been slagging off the fireman. No, but that's what they said, they said that she felt that they were being held as kind of heroes and they were just doing their job. Right. Oh, well, that is, that's, yeah, that's a little bit of stupid to say any way, a little bit, and yeah, and yeah, and yeah, and yeah, and, and, and, and, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th.... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. they. they. they. they, they, they, they. they, they, they, they, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, anyway. It's same as those things like during a presidential election or when I'm out since, these things they have said, Billy Piper says, I've always voted Labour. I know, who's gonna go, hold on, hold on, I don't

know, I don't know if he is or not. I don't know if he is or not. I probably, you know, that was just an example. I don't know. I don't know, that. I that. I that was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was just. That was, that was, that was, that was, th. That was. That was. That was. I was, th. That was just. th. th. th. th. th. th. Billy. th. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. Billy. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. It's, the. But, the. But, the. But, the. It's, the. B. But, the. But, the. But, the. the. But, the vote to be honest alright let's not get into it. I think Faye and Claire from Sets are both BMP members I can't I remember reading that somewhere. That's so not true. I cannot be certain. I cannot be certain. Right. That is definitely. I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying I can't be certain. Right that is definitely. Right. I read it on the net. I read it on the net. I read it on the net. I read. that. that. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it. I that it. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I th. th. I th. th. th. I th. th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th it on the net. Oh right. And those things are always untrue. Okay, all right. It's dissed the net now. You dissed the net. I can't believe it. Let's dig ourselves out of this hole now.

Well, blue, definitely can you quote this because I read it in the sun. Blue were being interviewed by, you know, blue the pop, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. thoes, th. th. th. th. th. th. th is is is is th is th is th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the business list. I like it one for the money and the free road. Anyway, Blue were being interviewed by the Sun for when they're going to web chats by the lovable Dominic Mohan. And for some reason they got right after September 11th. And one of the members of Blue said, again, and one of the members of Blue said, again, they said, again, yeah, I thi. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. I've their. their. they're their. their. their. they're th. threw. they're they're they're they're their. their. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're the. the the their. th. th. the. theeeeean. thean. thean. thoooooooooooo the. the. they're being they're being they're being. they're the other problem are going shut up. Yeah, it was probably they give a transcript on me going to shout up. They had to do a attraction. He said, sorry, I didn't know. Yeah, that was it. He said, I'm obviously I'm very passionate about whales and elephants and I've perhaps a bit misplaced. All the proceeds that I'll receive from our next single I'm going to give to the September September. to. to. the. to. to. the. to. to. to. the. the. to. to. the. to. to. the. to the. the. to to the. to the. to to to to to to to to their. I. I'm sorry. I'm, I'm sorry. I'm to say, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, th. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I's, I's, I. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I. I. I. I's, obviously. I's, obviously. I'm, obviously. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, obviously, I'm sorry, obviously, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th th th th th th the wows. But this is why are people about asking the members of Blue, you know, or Atomic Kitten, what they think about September the 11th? I know.

They should just be working in a chippy those people. They're lucky to be on the tele. They're lucky to be on the tell. They're not looking at. I think it does. If I surprise you, Rick, I prefer a liberty. I prefer liberty as well. Yeah, a little bit funky, with more than kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, XFN, one of the tho-fours. Once in a tho. Once in a tho, yeah, yeah, thin, thin, thin, th. thin, thin, th. thin, th. thin, thin, th. thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, I, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll tha. I'll tha. I'll tha. I'll tha. R. I'll tha. I'll tha I'll do that now, I'll do that now, I'll do the song for the lovers. Now this is a beautiful song it's by Simon Agarf uncle. It's only one minute, 49 long. It's called April Come she will. When streams are ripe and swelled with rain.

When streams are ripe and swelled with rain, May she will. May, she will stay resting in my arms again. June she'll change her turn. In restless walks she'll prowl the night. July, she will fly. And give no warning to her flight. August dies she must. The autumn winds blow chilly and cold.

The autumn winds blow chilly and cold. September. September I'll remember a love once new has now grown old. April comes she will. Isn't that beautiful? Beautiful little song. See I quite like to put out a compilation like song for the lovers maybe, you know what I mean? But I'm worried obviously the title's ironic we're taking the Mickey out of those things, but quite serious about all the songs we play. I'm worried about, people who see a bit like Simon Bates's his art tune album or something. Steve Wright's Sunday Love songs. Yeah, yeah. When you think lined up for us? Some R-I-M. I talked to me about the...

Strokes on XFM 104.9, It's Ricky Gerva Show with me. Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. The K-Man. Well, it's time for the, well, I think people wait for this now. I never knew really since I was doing that that I I will actually had a bit of a knack for film reviews. Right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah I'll probably probably be asked soon by Brian Norman Ross to do some on that sort of thing or maybe my own film so I don't know TV or anyway. The clock sticking it's only a matter time.

Yeah okay this week I've chosen well wait let's play the jingle okay the film review that. Okay tha this th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the. Yeah theat's the. Yeah. the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've that's that's that I I the I I I the I I I the I the I I the I the. Yeah, I the. Yeah, I the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and that. I'm brilliant. Yeah? Yeah? Okay, there we go. This week I've chosen my left foot. Right. Okay. Now, my left foot is a film about a bloke called Daniel Day Lewis,

who's all mental except for his left foot, right? But, and he has arguments. I can't remember, he has arguments with his dad, so I wasn't watching it properly, but he, even though he's mental, apart from the foot, he does stuff with the foot that we could, you know, could do all over, and he uses that to his best,

I think he might write a book or something of pain. And the moral of this story is, you know, even if you've only got a foot that works, you can still win prizes because it won the Oscar. Okay, am I right in saying that you're bringing a book out of these collected, maybe for the Christmas market? I think I might. Yeah, yeah. I see there's obvious, great films reviewed sort of what with, it's a different, it's a different outlook on it. I don't just sort of like sorry well tell

what it's an approach that doesn't really use grammar which which you don't see that fun in film reviews but no once again what would you give out of 10 I just saw I didn't really cons but I can't remember a lot about it but it won an Oscar so I think it won an Oscar so nine okay that was my left that that that that that that that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that that that was th? th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm just just just just just thi. I'm just. I'm just. I today. I try. I ttry. I ttry. I tho. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I think it won an Oscar summer, so nine. Okay, that was my left foot, which probably available on sell-through video, maybe in a bargain bin, 599, probably on TV this Christmas. That's to be confirmed. Eels, fresh feed in an XFM 104 point. I was going well, isn't it?

I'm enjoying it, yeah. Twenty minutes to go. More of an up show is by some great hits and great songs to family. We've had some great features, a new feature, that film sounds good. Looking forward to that. That are run and run. Yeah, song for the, if there's any record companies out there, the one I put out a compilation of my songs for lovers, yeah. That's good. Anyone who wants me to do a film, anything, any film, any film any film you any, any film that reviewed reviewed, yeah reviewed, yeah reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, reviewed, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, uh, yeah, uh, uh, yeah, uh, yeah, uh, uh, that, uh, that, uh, that, uh, so, that, uh, that, so, uh, yeah, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah finish a sentence yeah no ideally because it was otherwise it was anyone who wants me to do a film well of course I'm a top actor yeah sure sure sure sure okay yeah and that's totally good yeah okay you're running that steam I can you're running now yeah yeah go on

Carl have you seen it yet I know you probably haven't Rick Cliff Richards video for his new single yeah it's amazing isn amazing, isn't it? It's bad, isn't it? I saw it on Lorraine Kelly in the morning, Sky One, great show. And it's amazing. It's, it's, he's done a version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow, but he's combined that with, what was it, it's a, oh, what a wonderful world? I wasn't really listening. I was looking at the picture. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It's, th. It's, th, th, th, th. thi, th. It's, th, th, th. It's, th. It's, th. And, th. And, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th. And, and, and, and, th. And, and, and, th. And, and, and, and, and, th. And, and, and, th. And, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and and it's what a wonderful world and combined with Somewhere over the Rainbow. So he's done a two classic songs two songs that have been done definitively yeah artists in the past he's tried to combine

them with a kind of Yamaha keyboard saying in the backgray. What was his last year's one? It was Lord's Prayer with over the old Lang's I was just obsessed with combining two songs like they're not good enough bore if you better combine them. Yeah, yeah. It's like a mega mix, like a cliff mega mix. And you know, the video is unbelievable. It's him flying through. It's all kind of sort of a 2D animation, kind of almost sort of a collage of buildings and high-rise flats and there. Kids see him floating by, they wave, they point to each other, they can't believe they're there, there goes Sir Cliff. They're going, who's th. Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's all, th. It's all, th. It's all, thi, thi. It's all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, thi. It's all, all, all, thi. It's all, thi. It's all, th little one-dimensional cliff with a kind of angelic glow flying through the sky, just bringing happiness to people as he sings. Oh he does. His real face is often kind of appearing and going to sing.

I wonder where his real face is? And it's one of the worst songs and one of the worst videos I've ever seen. I mean I know people slag off cliff and it's an easy target, but he actually deserves it because he's shameful. Yeah, he's embarrassing. He's embarrassing and he's arrogant. Well everything's a disguised boast. I mean I know I like devil woman. I like Miss Unights. I liked wired for sound and I like tall speakers and I like tall speakers and small speakers.

You know I like all size of speakers you know I like all sa-s I like sides of speakers, you know that, you'll vouch me on that. And he sang about it, which is good. And you know, I'm often wired for sound, right? Carrie doesn't live her anymore, where she can't. She's just another message on a payphone wall. It's a story. But lately, I haven't had a lot of time for him. Awful. I remember he was on something.

. Michael asked for something. And I said, so you've had something, he said, yeah, he said, well, everyone knows that Alvis sold more records after his death than when he was alive. A little dig there against Elvis. Well, I've just overtaken him against Elvis. Well, I've just over taken his record for sales in the UK. Right, so he sets up that Elvis, Alvis is only selling because he's dead. And then he was still beating him in the UK. Yeah. the, I I I I I And where'd you get the Quiff from and the way to sing? Where do you get that from, Cliff? Where did you think of that? But it's those people who he's just desperate for the credibility that he's never going to have.

I like it when he went my own, when they're not playing my record. Yeah, well it was, you know, it was the millennium, wasn't it? It was, but I don't know who's buying it. I mean, you seem to claim it to some kind of like 60-year-old women, but they're not, are they really a commercial force now? Yes. Oh, Carr seems to know that. Well, like when you're born, you're a little baby, wrinkley and stuffy and stuff. Like when you're you they, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when you're born, when tho, when pension money what will I buy Cliff Richards on the tele is my video by my song you see that started off as quite a sensible point because I actually think I do it but

what was all that alien stuff about when you're born you go wrinkling you go wrinkly against it sometimes you mix like normal things that human being say with I don't know what well when you're a baby you've got a little bald head, no teeth, you get old, what happens? Are you a philosopher? You're an official philosopher? Because, I mean, it sounds like it. Oh, Carl, play a record. You're a gem, you're a diamond.

XFM, 104.9. Good to hear the Happy Mondays again. We're nearly through. We are indeed. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've the little old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old, th. th. th. tholed. tholed. tholed. tholed. tholed. tholed. thioled. tholed. tholed. th. tholed. tholed. tholed. What, tholed. What, tholed. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tholed. tholed. tholed. tholed. tho, tho, tho, tho-a tho-a tho-a' old old old old old old old, tho-a'''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'9 good to hear the Happy Mondays again we're nearly through we are indeed we've had a little bit of chat we've had a few laughs we had a few tears we have indeed we've we've we've interested a new feature looking forward to that next week yeah so it's gonna be all to be all to the future which you didn't seem to like which was was something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Well, explain it. Yeah, something old and old song, something old, something old, something old, something, a new song,

a new song, a new song, a new song, something. Yeah, and something blue, just a melancholy and beautiful song. Right, okay, but does it have to be all four, or can it be anyone? No, it's all four. songs in a row and that's that section. So so that so like feature would be like this is either an old song or like the new song yeah that's good I think we've done that no it's not it's not covered that well what's the difference play oh I'm playing a song from a film from a film just because you give it a tiole it's just a song from a thrown to the to the the they the they cn they I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I it's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's all it's all it's that that's all it's all it's all it's all it's all it's all it's all it's all it's all it's all it's all it's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all the the they I's all that's all that's all that's all that's all that's all think it's fair enough to let him have his little feature at the end of the show there. I just, you know what I mean? Keep me happy this song for the others.

Cool. Excellent. Well that's, yeah, but that's not till after, so that's not to laugh. the to' to'n't they the's the's the's the's concerned he's a third member of the team. He's protected by me. Right? Yeah. Cheers. Song 2 by Blur, we're running out of time. It's 5-2. We've just got time for Steve's song for the ladies. Wedding present Rick from the album Saturnalia I think it's pronounced like that and it's track three Dream World a song. It is goodbye. How many times have you rang and swore, you'd give you one last chance and he'd let you down.

But then you'd call and you'd go and you'd go back around. Oh no, I still care because you only have to me? Oh, because of him? Well, of course it is. And I hate to assist you to hear. You must look as if you're not as if you just won't understand you don't want to listen to it. Just because of you this. You just want to understand you don't want to listen to you. Just because it's not what you'd like to hear. You ask me to tell you.

And to me that's good to hear. You know I still care because you only have to be too. You know I still care because you only have to phone me. And I'll be over that to make your words. You know I'll always be here for you. You know I'll always be here for you. Say you feel left down. I know exactly how here for you. Say you feel that time. I know exactly how to kill you. You just can't go on pretending.

You just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending.

He just can't go on pretending. He just can't go on pretending. To me, you just can't go on pretending. You just can't go on pretending. I'm on my way right over that to lick your words you know I'll always be here for you say you feel that's how you feel that's hard I know me how to kill you. You know you make me want a shot. Oh, so to tell me what's new girl.

You say you feel right down. But you are having a little dream world. Oh, the today. On air, 104.9. XFM.