The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E16 (December 7, 2002)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

Richard Ashcroft, Science of Silence on XFM 104.9. I love that. Yes, he's one of my favourite artists now. I just think, I don't know why he's not ballistic. He's got everything. He's like one of our best rock stars. I'm Ricky Jabas. Hello there. You're Steve Merchant. I am indeed. Carl. Big day today. Really? to for Carl. He hasn't been looking forward to it. He's been winging in the week. A couple of things. He thinks he's overworked here and he's stressed and he's got to do DIY. MTV are coming in right to give him the chance of his lifetime to do just a little screen test. He's going, well I'm not going to look good And he's not made an effort. He thinks, oh they'll put him off. He said they won't even press record. He's

got a spot on his head. I mean, you know what? Also... You're not looking forward to it? You're not excited about it. It's a great opportunity. Why is it a great opportunity? To get on TV? No, but look what's happened to people like. they. not like he? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, slightly different. Slightly different. Why is it? Well, you're making it in the industry and you've got something to give. He happened to be around when they were filming an airport. Do you see the difference? All right, the other one then, he was on a boat. Same thing, although at least she had a skill, she had a skill,

you know, she can sing, you know. Well, this year, she's just, I think it can all go wrong, do you know what today. Of course it can't. So considering in your little room moaning about nothing happened in the world. You know, he wanted to stop educating Ricky, because nothing happened. He said, look what happened. He said, look. the, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, I. the the, I. their. I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I, I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I. I. I. I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I'm just, I think, I think, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, the net, he said all I found was a dog in a car wash and a parrot and a vicar. I tell you what, there ain't much more going on this week. We're talking, listen, me and Steve yesterday we took a day off to prove you wrong and we've come up with two of the most incredible things I told you about and they're amazing. So there are things out there. But just go for tha tha tha tha tha. Just go just go just go just go just go just go tha. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin' tho. tho. tho. tho. thi thathea' tho. tho. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. tho tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tha. tha. There's tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha for truth and science and discovery. The fact is strange and the fiction. You don't have to reserve to sort of like God and ghosts.

I know, yeah. Do you know what I mean? But the funny thing is, you know, like, last couple of weeks I've been saying there's not much going on. Yeah. I found out when I was looking that there was a day Friday, there was no news, there was nothing going on, they had to put a music video on or something, on the tele. There was nothing going on. Play a record. We're going to play some classic tracks today.

This is DeBasa. Pixies, DeBasa. I was looking forward to playing that. I came and said, I'll play that in the last half hour. Oh yeah. So what is the point of having a producer if he doesn't check things out? So I mean it's a good track, I mean I'm sorry if you heard that twice in the last hour. Go ahead and went and listened to everything all the time. I've been running around, I get in early on a Saturday. We got in about the same time as me? I went out and bought out I bought I bought I bought I bought to to to their to their to to to their their to to their to their to their their their their their their their their their their tra' tra' trackkicickick. I'm sorry trac-I'm trac-I'm thi. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi I'm the same the same the same the same the same th. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm thi I'm thi I'm sorry I'm thi. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm thi. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm try try try trya' tra' tra' tra' trac-a' trac-a' trac-a' trac-a' trac-a' trys t've sorted what prizes we're going to give away, I've been running to the library getting certain tracks, I can't listen all the time, I'm doing my best. Oh, I'm not sure it's good enough, Tom.

I'm worried when MTV come in, if they've heard this kind of shoddy production, they're going to start the morning. Well, I'm sorry, are you sort of, I sort of, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th.... th. t. t. t. t. too. t. too. t. t. too. t. too. too. the car. I seem to remember Rick, he was a nobody that got a chance to come on air and talk about that. And guess what he was getting auditions with the TV? Guess what he was talking about on but I had a job to do who do you think you are your ego is just gone through the room hang on a minute hang on a minute what I had a job to do in the week they asked me to drive the desk for Zoe

right they didn't talk Zoe yes you can you can't you can't just ignore her yes you can who is she she think she is? You made a promise to us a pact that you are our kind of monkey. Yeah. What can you do if someone takes time off? I've got to do it? It's my job. Yeah but you don't have to use... You're the head of production. We've given you this special gig. This is like taking you out weekends. Yeah, if we find out you're getting too much excitement in the week we'll have to just calm it down. Get another little... Well that's it now anyway it was only last week. I was only last week. I feel

betrayed. It's like you were having kind of solid. I feel betrayed it's like you were having an affair behind our bank. Yeah and you rumled it was doing all it was like oh yeah jellyfish and this show. they're they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's was that's was that's was that's was that's was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like oh oh oh oh oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that. Yeah, because she was asking. And I thought it was a good way of promoting this show, actually. Oh, did you mention this show? Yeah, I did at some point. What did you say? I just said more about that on Saturday afternoons. So you talked twice, I don't know. So you talking about. About five times all the time.

Right, what have you got? I play ball as well, to be honest. I feel ball's slightly responsible for it. Yeah. She can't find her own, you know, Gibbon to get on the show. Yeah. You can't find her own kind of, you're listening, Slim, coming on the show. What's his name, Ernie or something? What's his name? Norman? Norman. Oh yeah. Oh that's great. Oh that's great. Anyway, coming up today, we have got educating Ricky.

Yeah. Oh, that's great. Oh, that's great. Is. Is the last one you've promised it might be? I believe there's a book out that might help me with this feature so we'll see how it goes. I was thinking of new features in the week. I've got, I wanted to come up with a what it to do, Celebrity Fact Club. Celebrity Fact Club. That's so I've just got to get some celebrities in first. So we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can we can that so we can that so we can that so we can that so I that so I th. I th. I th. I th. I've just th. I've just that's th th th th. I th th. I th. I've just th. I've just th. I'm just th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th the the the the the the thean thean thean to thean thean thea thean the the the the the the the th in first, so we can kick that off, so maybe in the new year. Ball and Cook. Start off.

Maybe. Right. And I've also got three... Cougain ball stories. Yeah. That's good one. Good one. Cheers.

Thanks, Carl. Maybe you could sell that to Zoe show. that Ricky Hole. Through the Ricky Hole, okay. What's that? That's, uh, I'm quite. No, you just got the title again, haven't you? Yeah.

So, rock buster's coming up as well. Yeah. Pat? We're playing some great music today. I'm wondering if we should maybe, you know, it's getting towards Christmas to thi, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, it's getting towards Christmas to think about others. Should we dedicate the show to all the people in the world who maybe are less privileged and less fortunate than us? No. No, okay. Do you do the prizes for... Prizes? Okay. All right, so screw those who are less fortunate is what TV's Ricky Javies? Rick, I know you're a big fan of the likes of Brian, of the likes of the likes of the likes of the likes of Brian Adams, Robert Palmer, Alien, Ant Farm and obviously ZZ Topp.

And so you'll be enjoying the best air guitar album in the world ever, volume 2. Yeah, so. Fantastic. Volume 1 wasn't enough. No, again, we've seemed to be able to give one of these away every week. Are you just not sending these out? I mean, these are the same prizes we started this game with, I think, a couple of weeks back. Are you just not sending the prizes then?

Yeah, but I want to give like more people a chance because if one week they listen in and think, God, I won't mind winning that. If you've got more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies more copies. the copies. the copies. their copies. their copies. their copies. their copies. their copies. they's their. their. their. their. th. th. thi. thi. thi. their thi. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. their. their. their. I. their their. I. their. I. th. I. I. I. th. I. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. tri. to. to. th. th. th. th. their. their, the best songs you've heard on an advert ever. Mainly mobile phones? Mainly mobile phone adverts, yeah, although there is the Smash Mouth one which is used in the Ford Fiesta TV. Oh yeah, yeah, walking on the suns. I forget what it is. The Smatching Pumpkins album that we've given away in the past again, I've also got a bulk

order of those that can't shift them the weather, I don't know who's interested in this. It's a double box set of VHS of different weather? That's amazing. Yeah, there's two cassette tapes there, it's presented by Donna McIntyre. It's a thrilling trip with the most exciting forces of our wild and turbulent world. So I'm right in mind it's it's a double VHS sett. It's a double V it's video video video video. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the th. It's th. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double. It's a double V. It's a double V. It's a double V. It's a double. It's a double V. It's a double. It's a double V. It's a double V. It's a Yeah, no it's got, I mean includes the fastest winds, the hottest desert, and the biggest rain machine on the planet. That's not the whole thing you have to. I wonder if they're bringing out another box set, soil. Yeah, absolutely. Just to go through different mud.

And this you may be of interest. I've read good reviews of the DVD of this. It it it it it it's it's it's it's a a a a the the the th, it's, it's, it's, it's, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, oh, and th. Oh. Oh. Oh, and th. Oh, oh, and th. Oh, and th. Oh, and th. Oh, and the, the, th. Oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. set at the Wicca Man classic film but it's got a bunch of extras I that is actually worth having I would probably throw the rest away but the Wiki and it's yeah it's quite very interesting yeah but you'll enjoy that so what this rockbusters is it oh that's for rockbusters brilliant I'll let's I say get get the ball roll in I mean tease I I I I I I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they the the they the they the they're the the the the the the they're the they're the the they're the they're don't know. I mean tease them Rick, don't you know, don't sort of spunk all the good stuff really on. Well, you can you can say spunk. I can't. Well, we've got, um, actually it's quite good moving about because we might have some

new listeners. Yeah. I wouldn't thou' thor the thou the thou. I wo. I'm. I'm heard it before, I'll give you some initials, it's like initials of an artist or of a band. It's bloggmas. And a cryptic clue to who the band is. There's two easy ones, one difficult one. First one is, that'll the initials are LZ. First one is, that off the ground? That will never get off the ground. Is the clue and the initials at LZ? You are joking. Two easy ones. Right, right. And then you've got that woman has got her husband's gloves and a pair of her own. All right? That woman has got

a pair of her husband's gloves and she's got a pair of her own. That's HH. All right. It's a bit of a difficult one. And then the last one, you'll get a right load of bacon off them, right? You'll get what? A right load of bacon off them. Uh-huh. That's L.L. Yeah, so once you get a right load of bacon off them. Right. that will never get off the ground, LZ. Yeah. So, once a the thrown, th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the the. the. the the the. the the the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the the the the last the right, you'll the right. the right. the right. the right. the the the last the last the last the the the right. You'll the right. the the the right. the the the right. the the right. the right. the right. the the the the last the right. the. the. the. thea. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. first one that will never get off the ground, LZ. That woman has got her husband's gloves and she's got a pair of her own. That's HH. And you'll get a right load of bacon off them. That's L. And it's an email only? Email only. Ricky. Joveyxxf.co. That's a winner. And we pick a winner, winthe end so... And the winner, win at Wickerman, the weather, best of the weather, best of the weather. That would be amazing.

The best of the weather. That's a compilation, channel 4. Exactly. Wins like to vary. I love 1976 weather. Oh, this one from August 1979. Oh, warm in it? Oh't it? Oh, this is warm, in it! Oh, God. I tell you what? You remember where we always play like great music usually?

Mmm, mm-hmm, I'm not gonna. You're not gonna do it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is David Bowie driving Saturday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah a biscuit. David Bowie, driving Saturday. That's great track, isn't it? A crash course for the ravers, eh? That's what this show is, isn't it, Carl? Crash course for the ravers, they tune and they go, what? That's, that's so cool. I wish I was like Carl Pilton. You reckon. Yeah, definitely. You've got to read your mum's clues out, didn't you? Yeah, she's just for fun only. This is Carl's mum. She listened one week

and now she sends him a little example of rockwester's every week. She's got, what did she send? This group would go well with your Christmas dinner. Cranberries. Yeah. They make a few good cupboards. They make a few good cupboards. They make a few good cupboards? Yeah. The carpets are I thinking of EMF. What else? I was thinking B&Qs?

This group thinks of lots of things. This group thinks of lots of things. This group thinks of lots of things. Yeah. Uh, go on. Imagination. Ha ha ha ha. I think they're the best ones. Yeah, they're the best ones.

Yeah, they're, they're, hey, hey, obviously we want the worst one then. Uh, here's one more. She'd really like Blackpool. She'd really like Blackpool. She'd really like Blackpool. Fairground attraction. Not bad. Not bad. Right, so there's a... Does she write anything else in the letter? Or does she just send them like on the squall on the back of, you know, I don't know,

a till receipt. She didn't wantthe first one now, it's just just the rockbusters. Right, so, she doesn't want to ask him how you are or... I'll speak to her to her in the week. What kind of conversations would you have then with your own stuff? What do you have about how I've worked you are and stuff to her? Just, I mean they're always surprised when I'm getting in late and that it's like you you you you you you to to to to to speak you to speak you to speak you to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to to speak to to to speak to to speak to to to speak to to to to speak to speak to to to to to to to to to to to to to to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to speak to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the to to the to to the to to to to to her in in in to her in to her in to her in to to to her in in to to to to to to know, just saying how is the flat going? I was asking my dad some DIY tips the other day. You know, usual sort of stuff you talk with your mom and dad really. Yeah. Talking about the bison's with them. Did you watch the mammals in the week? David Attenborough? No. I was thinking actually right. All this MTV. If I was thinking actually right all this MTV stuff if there's one reason why I'd like to do it is I was watching Attingbra the mammals program I reckon I could do something like that right and just have I've like me into the Battenborough like a you know a young sort of fresh person yeah

Watching like certain animals and saying do we need these. Do you know what I mean? Oh God. Where's going to be death on there? That's amazing. Do we need these? And the audience at home would vote? Would there be something in the phone vote out system? The thing is, it's something interesting that I remember was saying the other night

on uh... Do we need these? On Jonathan Ross's show on his tele thing is, is it something interesting that I remember I was saying the other night on Jonathan Ross's show on his tele show, right, he was saying he said you could take all the humans off the earth and it would carry on, but take like some animals off it and mammals and that, you've got problems on your hands. I thought that was quite interesting. So it's like the question is do we need these is that part of the big thing. Like jellyfish???? th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It's th. It's thin, thin, th. It's th. It's th. It's thin, thin, thin, thin, th. It's thin, thin, th. I thin, th. It Yeah. So it's like the question is do we need these is that part of the big thing? Like jellyfish. Yeah. We've talked about jellyfish. Yeah. So which mammals in particular were watching? He talked about that? I was a little show, haven't you? Hey? Which mammals were you thinking we don't need them when you watch the show the other night? And in particular that you they th thought th thought they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th thought they they the don't the don't the don't they they they they they they the that are they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the. the the took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took took the. took the. I don't know what they do. And they're taking quite a lot of room. But stuff like jellyfish I looked into because you know I was talking about them and they were saying they've got no eyes no art there's something like 97% water yeah. They're blind and they do

about thirty three miles a day.. So it's like do we need them, could we clear them out? Yeah. A big net. That would be the program. Right, we'll get rid of them. Next week we'll be looking at... Foy news. I think it's genius. Honestly I think it's genius. And like going along sort of like picking up seeing enemies and just lobbing them into the sea. Well what do you think about MTV doing that and then I just in between the bits I play music related to fish or I could play like fish. Yeah rock guy or the animals. Rock lobster. Yeah or what else could we get in that? What other songs have got animals in them? Well, yeah there's the the the th th. th th th. th th th. It th th th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi the. I' th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. Yeah, there's about a million so let's not start this.

Do you know what mean? So do we need this? So MTV flies you around the world? It's most incredible exotic locations. You sort of climb up a tree or whatever and next to I don't know what lives up a tree. That's like a rare parrot. You say look look. It it it. that, look. th. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. What. What. What. What. They're they. What. They're they. They're they. What. They're they. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they. What. What. What. What. But do you need the lizard? Would be your next question? Yeah, because the local people made shoes out of them. But not when the scorpion protected and they didn't. Right, we don't need them then.

Okay. So ultimately, would anyone decide? I mean, do the animals kind of a chance to mount a case for their survival? I mean, is there maybe someone that comes into their kind, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi.. We, thi. We thi. We don't, thoooooooan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thooan, thooan, thi. We so it defends them. I'd have like a David Attenborough type character who says well to do this and I go yeah but do we need that doing? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So what does an animal need to do in order for you to feel that it sort of gets a chance of life? I mean like a pet like an animal like a dog maybe or a cat I mean they give a certain affection to its owner is that is is is is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that a valid is that a valid is that a they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their they they they they they they've been saying that though blind people use dogs so they are useful. So dogs are useful. Farmers are used dogs. Yeah I'd have to think about it. Okay. Keep the mice down. Yeah but you've got rent a kill. So what I'm saying is something that will affect the world. Right I think you'll find everything

does. Except Carl? Yeah I'm not sure what effect is the world. I to do the world. So the the world the world to to to to to to to save to save to to to save to to say to say to say to say to say to say the world the world the world the world their their their their to say their to say to say to say, they's their farmers to say, so farmers their to say, farmers to say, farmers their dogs their dogs their dogs their dogs their dogs their dogs their dogs their their their their their their their their their they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they're they're they're their they're their their their their th the. I the. So, that to the. I to the. I the. So, the. So, thi their the. So, their their they're they're they're'll find everything does. I think you'll find everything does. Except Carl. I'm not sure what effect he's having on the world. I tell you what though Steve, right? Did you watch the mammals? I didn't see the mammals. They had the they had bison on it. Right. The weirdest looking things you've ever seen. Yeah. They've really Again, you're in dangerous. It's like decide what you want to look like. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be their to be. I'm their their their their their their their. I's. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I's their. I. I. I. I's their. I. I's their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's their their their their their their their their their the. I'm tape. I'm tapeck. I'm tape. I'm the. I'm their they. I'm their their their. It's just a mismatch of stuff. It's got a really big area ed. Yeah. And like you. Sort of bald at the back. Right. Sort of thinner. He's like by someone you went to school with. Was there two of them? Oh, brilliant.

Oh, brilliant. From the album original pirate material Materialist, obviously the streets and an album track from that, it's too late. Fantastic isn't it? Yeah. I know everyone's raving about it being, you know, it's great. It's brilliant. I love the backing as well. It's just so good.

The lyrics are the things. Oh, they're my favourite band of the year. Next week then, we'll do all our favourite songs of the year, shall we? No, I think it's got to be two weeks time, I'm doing the Christmas. Yeah, I'm away next week as well. What do you mean you're away next week? What are you doing? their today? What are you doing up north? What's it? their way. their way. throwneatat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. their. their. their. W. their. W. W. their way way way way way way way. their their their way way way way way way way. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. We. W. We. We. We. W. We. We. We. We. We're. We're. We're th. We're th. We're the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toy. the toy. that they really kick off, don't they? Is it, yeah? You're gonna be raven? Can't concentrate now. Oh, look, he's all stressed because the lady from MTV's here. She's gonna film his little face. The things he said in the week, he's so worried. He's got worried.

He's got a worry about the spot on his head.. That's all right. Yeah, the camera's out. Look, he's getting nervous now. Okay, Carl. Ignore the camera. Okay. Now, me and Steve have done our research for you and we've got two amazing things to tell you. What's the tell them first about the baby or the crab? Well research thing and then we looked up and we looked into it on Friday and it is incredible. Right, listen to this, there's a thing in a bay in New England right where it's like the biggest, they make silicon chips and stuff for computers, right? And because of the data protection thing, after they've done them, because they have to destroy the plates, right, well the information they they they they they the information the information they they the information they're they're the information they're they're the information, they're they're they're they're their, they're their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to to to look, to look, to to to look, to look, too, too, too, too, too, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, to look, to look, to look, to look, to look, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th....li.li. We. We're, th.li.li. We're, thi.li. thi. to, thi.li.li. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi.l.l. thi. the data protection thing, after they've done them, because they have to destroy the plates, right, well the information's sort of put onto them, but they're still flakes of silicon, they sort of grind it down throughout the way,

and some of the flakes got into the bay, okay, but some of the information still on even the granules of silicon, anyway, gets in the water, and silicon is rather than and silicon is rather, and silicon is rather, like is rather, like is rather like is rather like is rather like is rather like is rather like like is rather like like like like is rather like like like is rather like like a like is rather like like a like is rather like a like a th is rather like a the th is rather like a the the th like a th, like a th, like a th, like thi is rather like a thi, like a th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and th, and th, th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and their, and their, the water and silicon is rather like a carbon derivative. They reckon if they had been life on another planet and it wasn't carbon-based, it would be silicon-based because that simple sugars and produce, it's just COH and that and it can work with silicon. Anyway, the crabs have been taken up, it's because years the crafter started sort of putting themselves in formations, like geometric format and they couldn't work out why they were doing this. And when they put them in the experiment, they sort of like chopped them up and they found they'd taken on silicon.

And it had sort of got into their brain and they were downloading information. They actually, they picked up little things because it's just chemical, you know, like electrical impulses had got information off the silicon chip and they were interfacing it. But this is the amazing thing. One bloke sort of thought of this and he thought well if it's a simple computer the brain, if it's just a simple electrical thing then maybe there's, there's sort of, you know, we could get it down. So what they did did is is th did is th is th is there's there's there's sort of you know we could we could get it down so what they did is they made a thing called a bio interface and they put it into the crowd's brain just a really simple brain to its mejuro vangat

right and it got impulses from it and they were getting like computer readers just just flashes of like symbols and geometric things were on this screen to read the crowd's brain and it was stuff like the th you you you you you th you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th. th. they th. they they they they they they th. they they they'd th. they'd the. they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd the. they'd the. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. theeeeeeeeeeeee. they're they're they're they'd they'd they'd they on this screen to read the crowd's brain and it was stuff like, you know, fragments of a... What made them do this in the first place? Because they saw the crowds behaving differently, they were behaving differently to each other. They were just like, they were, you know, intelligent. And they were sort of solving problems and all this sort of stuff. Anyway, when they downloaded the thing, the like a... there was some, they found a... they found one of the secretary's names where it had been on the silicon chip, where it was

just like a flash of a computer screen. But the most amazing thing is, they downloaded a memory, right? It was like a snapshot where it had been burnt onto the retina of the crab, just a snapshot and it was like a picture of the beach like a couple of years ago, right? And they also did, incredible, it was like a digital black and white sort of thing, so they could see what the crab had seen. Amazing. Geez.

Amazing. So what are they doing with them? Well they think, this is the upshot, they they they could use it as spy crabs because they could get these crap. Also the other thing is, as generations went on, right, so they put a crab in to see it somewhere, right, lots of crabs in. And then as generations went on, a newborn crab, they downloaded the memory and it had the memories of its great, great, great, great, to to their......aaa..a.a.a. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. And, they're. And, they're. And, they's. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. So. And. So. And. So... So. So. So..... And. And... And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. So, the. And. So, the. And. So, the. And. And. So, they. And. And. And, they. And. And, they. And. they. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. So, they downloaded the memory and it had the memories of it's great great great great great great all together. I had every memory that any crab had been related to it beforehand because it passed it on, it just passed it on. So not even ones that had the silicon stuff. Yeah, no that these are just like ones

that I've had kids and they've got like, and they know every, so you'd know everything your... great, everything right the way back. So would that work if we get silicon? Well, possibly. So what are they going to... Well, they can use them for all sorts of things though. I mean, that's what's incredible. I mean, I don't know, I don't know how you'd train it particularly, I don't know, I'm quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite quite they they they could, if they can do it that way, then presumably they can give it certain silicon information which they can then plan in it if you like within it, within it sort of food.

Also you get them onto any beaches, you'd have like a thousand digital cameras just tackle their way and you'd get like, you know, Osama bin Laden or someone just calling around. They don't understand the information they've got. They don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they can't, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, also, they, also, also, also, they, also, also, also, also, also, also, they, also, they, also, also, also, also, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they can, they can, they can, they can't, they can, they can, can, they can, they can, can, they can, they can, they can, they can, they can, they can, they can, they can, they can, they can, they, they So they're not, it's not like you could talk to them and they won't be able to sort of give the information because they wouldn't know what the information they had because they're just the computer. The crab, the the first crab they downloaded they just kept seeing the same picture of a big crab feed it was. Really? Yeah, wow. That's what like it's what like it's only black and white. It's just a digital camera because it's just a, they don't see black and white, so it's just like a, I don't know, I think it's burnt onto the retina or something. And the only one that they kept were the ones they saw a lot of a time. What was, I mean, in a way, some of the educating Ricky have is on the similar lines. Right. You've got to be impressed thrap impressed th impressed. I th impressed. I th impressed. I th impressed. I th impressed. I th impressed. I thired thired thired thrown be impressed. I thired. I thired. I thired. I thired. I that. I've got thired. I've got tho. I'm tho. I've got thi. tho. I'm tho. I'm they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi. I they're th. I th. I th. I they're th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm thee. I'm tho. I've thoooo. I've thooo. I thooooo. I've thee. I the. I the. I the. I mean, I'm interested to say, you know, what they do with it. What they do with what the crab developments are.

But yeah, yeah, no, that's pretty good. But I mean, amazing. Amazing. Well, just digest that information, because that's not even the most impressive one we found. I think it is. I suppose it's pretty impressive. But the next one's more shocking. and Ricky's got another extra clip. Okay, can't that? Pecure, love song, classic on XFM. So that's the crabs that can, you can download their memories.

But what about other animals that are in the sea, in that same sea, in the stuff? Have they tested them yet? I don't know. I think they just took it on because their biology so much to do with, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, they, they, they they they they they they they they can they can they can they can they just took it on because their biology so much to do with, I presume they could take up minerals and you know, I don't know why, I don't know, but anyway, next one, it's just on the risens, a bodybuilder, yeah? This was freaking. This was freaking. I had another bodybuilder, right, and they were pregnant. And they had these tests and the baby was very large but it was causing it pain right in the thing right and it

after this it's it's strange it's almost bizarre in like yeah after the female woke up pregnant after seven months and the baby was walking around no no it forced its way out of the vagina oh no way yeah yeah it forced its way out and it was vagina. Yeah, it forced its way out. And it was called on which had like super strength. And it was pulling her along by the umbalac cord and that and it was it was a stone. Extraordinary. That's no that's freaky. I mean you talked about freaky stuff. That's made up. What? It wasn't pulling her along. It was. It was pretty She could feel it. that was, do you know what it mean? Like just just, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it was, it, it was, it, it, it, it, it was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, was, it, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, th. And, was, th. And, th. And, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was pretty thick because you could feel it. Exactly. And it was, do you know what I mean? Like just went like just sort of squeezed it went out because it was ready. Because all the hormones and stuff. Oh God. Imagine that. Just waking up and finding that in the bottom of the bed. Freak out wouldn't it? Because you think it was a nightmare

initially. And it had hair and all the hormones there? It was something in the week about, you know, just, just, you, you, you, you, you, you, just, you know, like the hair and that was weird. There was something in the week about, you know, you've got to test you babies and that now, aren't you? But they've managed to do it. I only caught after-story. I knew it would be more impressed by the crabs than that. He doesn't care if it's human. No, no, no's like putting them in the oven or something and it's like a cake. And after a certain amount of time it's ready. I never bought those in Argos for kids. It's my first baby kit. Yeah. Yeah.

It's Play-Doh, I think that they can buy. Yeah. So what do you think of that the crab one. Yeah. But the baby thing's pretty, pretty horrible. Yeah. So it was bigger than the, like the average. Yeah. Yeah. Both made up. We've made those up. We've made those up. We've made those up. Both stupid stories up. Yeah. We made those up. Both those stupid stories up. Yeah. I just downloading her crabs memories and seeing its mum feeding it as a child. Both parts are rubbish. I had trouble. I know I was going to have trouble with pushed its way out of the vagina. I practiced that about 30 times yesterday with Stephen was going, I'm not going to be able to say

that. Are you disappointed? Are you disappointed? A little bit, I mean the baby one's a bit sort of out there. I wasn't really having that one. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not going, I'm not going, I'm not going, I'm not going, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not going, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm that, I'm that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th, I'm th, I'm not th, I'm not th, I'm not th, I'm not little bit, I mean the baby one's a bit sort of out there. I wasn't really having that one. I don't know, but the crab one, I don't know, I think it's a useful experiment, Carl. I don't know what it's taught you about yourself. But would you say that that's revealed to you a certain thing? I don't know maybe you're a bit gullible. I mean you know what I'm saying is maybe you shouldn't accept or swallow your hookline and sinker everything you read on the web. You got to think maybe a valuable lesson? I feel bad because I

feel I said to Steve he won't be annoyed that we conned him it'd be annoyed that they're actually not true. You'd love that crab to be true. You'd that the crab thing to be th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' thrub' thrube you'd tho' tho' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho' tho' thuuuuuuuuuuuuu' thu' thu' thu' thu' thuu' thr-n' thrueeeat' thrueeat' thrueu' thrueu' thrueu' thrueeat' thrue laughing. In the right, when I said about the crabs, you know, I'm keeping them then. Yeah. Right, well, I know what you're getting at with the educating Ricky, but you know. Let's see. Let's see. You've got three titles that I tease you with, different stories, you take your pick and I teach you something that something something something something something something something something something something something something something something that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th you something that th you something that th you something that the the that th. that th. that that that their their their they. their their thease you with, different stories, you take your pick and I teach you something, that could happen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. There's a little bit of venom. First one is don't rub it too hard you'll get a rasher. I bet that's bacon related knowing you. You've got, uh, you've got enough is an anus.

Say that again? Enough is enough. Enough is enough. And you've got a that. A enough. A enough. A enough. A enough. A enough is a that. that. that. that. that. that that th is a th is a th is enough is enough. th. th. that. th. th is enough. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that th. th is enough is enough. that that that that that that that that that th is enough. th is enough. th is enough. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A thi. A thi. A thi. A tea. A tea. A tea. A thea. A thea. A thea. A the. A the's changed to enough is an an anus. And you've got, uh, yeah. You've also got, will it, will it be a bloke? Oh no, will it like a bloke or a woman? What? Will it like a bloke or a woman? Yeah. Will it like a bloke or a woman?

Wow. So there you, they're you three stories to me. Sounds exciting. Okay, well I'll have Woolett, Woolett's like... Well I'm gonna play a record, no Rick, surely. Yeah, okay. Sorry about the crowd and the big baby. It's all right. So why the lesson, I'm thinking of a title for him. Yeah, oh I say, um, the Hindu times. Carl just look at the the the the the the the the the screen test down the lens and he went just look at the camera he went right do you want to know about MTV to it might be VH1 he went right it did rock buses they said after the brakes on Genesis.

Oh dear I didn't tell me she wanted all this I thought you said because I said you just bring your own camera in and we'll put it down on some tape and pass that onto her. So now now I'm doing I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I just just just just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm just I'm the the th. I'm just just just just just just I'm th. I'm th. I'm just just th. I'm just th. I'm just just th. I'm just just just th. I'm just to just to just to just just just to just just just to just just to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just didn't just didn't just didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't the th. I didn't the the the the th. I didn't the the th. I didn't the th. I didn't the th. I'm didn't th. I'm didn't th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to to to th. I'm to to to to the to the the the the the the the th. I I said you just bring your own camera in and we'll put it down on some tape and pass that onto her. So now, I'm doing two jobs at once again, this is what I'm saying to you in the week. I'm juggling jobs all the time. I'm, I tell you. Right, come on in. How much do I get? that? He looked straight in the camera and said that. Right. So, um, three stories, don't rub it too hard, you'll get a rasher.

Enough is a nurse. And, uh... And, uh, we'll have that one. That one? Yeah. Right, well, um... Do you, do you believe in palm reading and stuff? Yes. Sorry, yes. Yeah, of course. Sorry, I forgot. Yes, of course we do.

Right. Well, there's a fellow who, he used to do palm reading. But a lot of people, he found that when he went up to him in the street and said, you want your palm reading, he was like, you know, oh, I'm a bit ashamed of my nails and stuff because they're a laborer or they're a cleaner or something like that. I.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their th. th. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. I th. Yeah, th. I th. Yeah, th. Yeah, their their th're a cleaner or something like that. I know a lot of labourers are slightly embarrassed by their nails. No but... But, so if you found that... Look at my bloody hands, Reg. Well... That's that hot carrying.

Did I ever tell you that I got picked at school to make tea and serve biscuits to old people because I've got good nails. No, go on. Is there any more to the story? Well that's about it. I mean they'd be, we used to do like, I think the old teacher must have been getting something, maybe getting his ma'am in there for free or something and the other people's at. So, um, so um. So he offered the kids of the school. the tea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their that. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I tod. I tod. I tod. I today. I te. I te. I te. te. te. te. to. te. to. to. to. today. today. I today. Is th. Is the school, he said, right, all, all sit at your desk and put your hands on the table and everyone did. And he walked past mine, he said, not bad, not bad. And he said, you've got the afternoon off, you can go and serve biscuits and tea to the old people. What did you say? I said, all right then? Was that good afternoon? But anyway, so he just sort of walked around and went, you all? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? the to? to? the the the the their? their? And, their? their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, and he? And, and he? And, and, and, and, their? And, and, their? And, their? And, and, and, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, their? And, they? And, they? And, they? And, they? And, they? And, they? And, they? And, their? And, do? He just sort of walked around and went, you know, right?

Do you want Bourbons or Diger? I mean you get on with old people, wouldn't you? I'd love to see, maybe, especially the senile ones. Yeah, yeah, no, but I'd love to see your on VH1, just did a link. They just go, you know, they've just played Robert Palmer, right? And it comes, you they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you get you they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've th, th, you're th. to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get th. thi, you thi, you get you comes to you in a little park. And you just sit next door to the old lady go, alright? And you go, yeah not too bad. He goes, what do you think of London? Crapp in it?

And she goes, yeah, it's awful, and you just have a talk. And you go, all right, well, she doesn't like it, in excess. That's what I'd around the streets. Yeah he's going around and they're trying to give palm readings. They're losing money and over fist. Yeah. All right. So they said he's what he's reading people's bottoms now. Sorry. Whoa whoa you just I didn't quite follow that. He was a palm reader. That wasn't making money, so now he's going up to people in the street and saying, can I see your ass.

Basically, yeah. So from being a palmist to an arsonist? Well, they just, that's what he does. He said the same sort of lines and that you get on your hand, you get them on your bottom and it can read them. Right. Yeah, it's not a pervert or anything or making that because he goes along. No, that's it. That was that.

Sorry, if a man came up to you in the street, can I have a look at your eyes? Can I read your ass? You'd drop your trousers, would you? No, no, no, if you went up to's what they're a lot of labourers they're showing their cleavage you think but actually they're having their ass right? Absolutely. That's what it is. And then right so is that the end of the story? Yeah but then because... That's it. Educ I come up with a little joky line, I thought I make an effort today for the H1 or MTV. Yeah. Little line there. Don't worry it won't last. It might just be splashing the pan. Okay. Phil Collins next. Yes play some Phil. Let's play some Phil.

Let's play some Phil. Oh. Oh. This is the best show. I mean off air obviously, the short people at home aren't enjoying it as much as we are, but Carl is continuing his, what they call this, a screen test? Yeah, that was let down by radio head. Carl what are you thinking? What are you thinking? I just think it's not right really, I'm trying to do a job, or else, try to get another job. Yeah? Yeah, what th what th what th what th what th. Yeah? th. Yeah? th. Yeah? th. Yeah? th. th. th. th. th. th. thathia? thathe? thathe? thathea? What thathea? What th. th. th. What's thathea? What's that? What's th. What's th. What's, what th. What's, what th. What's, what th. What's, what th. What's, what th. What's, what th. What's? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Is? Is? What? What? Is? What? What? What? Is. What's? What's? What's, they're? What are? What are, the the they're, the the th job. Yeah but a lot of your presenters are on MTV now. Yeah but all of them have got Zane in their name but you know. Yeah it's not it's not really right is it? Go on. Right so we

you better get that idea Carl Zane Pilkington. Educating Ricky will we carry on? Yeah. Right you've got left. Don't rub it too hard, you'll get a rasher. And will it like fellas or will it like women? Well he said wool before? Yeah, wool it. Well it. Right, now this is similar to the one you were talking about before, right? They found out that, um... They? Scientists, scientists. Oh yeah. Ithey found out that um... scientists, scientists, I found out 17th century. That, um, like now, one in ten rams are gay. One in ten rams are gay. Yeah. So that was like, wallet, that's how I could get that in.

Um, they got a load of gay and straight rams, right? They worked out which were which first. They said, right, that bunch there is a gay bunch. They looked better, they just had more pride in their appearance. And the other ones, you know, the straight ones, and then they gave them to this scientist and said, right, go on, do what you've got to do. And they took the brain out of all of them. Just to check. And they did test on the brain and it worked out that they've got something smaller in the brain,

the gay ones, I've got something in the brain that makes it smaller and they said right well that's probably how it's going to work on males on like males and females and like humans. So you took from this that gays have smaller brains than they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're tho tho tho they're they're tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they worked they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're tho tho that tho that that to to to to to to to to to too to took. took. took. tho tho tho tho tho thoee. tho tho took from this that gays have smaller brains than straight people? No, there's something in the brain. So if someone's saying, you know, I'm a gay, they're not sure or whatever, they will now be able to find out. So you can go to the doctor and to find out if you're straight or gay. Is there any gay in my brain? Let's have a look. Do, do, do, do, you. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. So, their. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, there's th. So, th. So, there's, th. So, there's, there's. So, there's, there's, there's, there's. So, there's. So, there's. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. So, the the the their. the the. their. their. the. their. their. the. the. So, the. So, the. So, there's the. So, there's. in my brain? Let's have a look. Do-do-doo. You've got a little bit of a guy in there. Yes, you've got a little bit of a guy in there. Yes, you've got

the, you've got a little bent cell there. Well, that's why they did it anyway. I don't understand how they could differentiate which were straight and which were gay to begin with, before they then gave it it the scientist, the sc sc sc sc sc- the sc- their their their their their their their their their their their their their th, th, th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you got, you the, you've got, you've got, you've got, you've got, you've got, you've got, you've got, you've got, you've got, you've got, you, you, you, you th, you th, you th, you th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theeeeeea, theeea, thea, thea, the the the the, the, th gave it to the scientist. Wasn't that what the scientist figured out? How could they tell? There's one theory that is genetically determined. There is one, there is, there is a theory that's genetically determined, but I don't think it's as easy as putting a sheep's brain apart and finding a little pink sort of blob in there going like we've taken the guy out, now he's going to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go the their going their going their going their going their going their going their their their their their their their their their their their their their their is going their is going their their their their their their is a their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their their is their their their their their their their their their their their is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their that straightforward. Although homosexuality does occur at a similar sort of right in animals I think. Yeah. So you do that, didn't you? So that's that one. I mean... I just like the idea for a farmer and figure out which is straight and gay. Well that was wearing quite a camp looking necker. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love the fact they can that okay.

That was a big fan of Sophie Lix Bexter. Yeah, yeah, they were done, they put on Abba and see which one's dance. That's how they. Yeah, I put on like the bar of Shroydard and see which one's sing along. That's it is rubbish. What did I find out? Did you just say that is rubbish? No, I found out other stuff in the tha tha tha ththree. Wow. We haven't even had the... This must be mediocre stuff. This must be running back. Yeah, or it might be dubious. Go on. There's a woman in Ireland who has been

with a fellow for 11 years. She always saying to him, you know when are we going to get married and that. You know we're happy and that. You know like the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that that that's thi. that that that's that thi. that thi, we're happy and that. Do you know like I am with Suzanne? It's like, there's no point, really. Unless you have a kid, I don't think you need to, do you? So he was like, we'll do it in time, in time and all that. Anyway, it comes on. What did he say? Oh, I'm not marrying you, Baldie? Yeah. Well, she was so shocked her hair fell out. I love the idea, we're just going from to the ground. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else? That's rubbish. That's rubbish. That's rubbish. That's rubbish. You've also got, um... It's weird, isn it, Rick? The stories that we made up are more plausible than the facts that's actually giving him. I think we tried to do hard. That's why he's willing to believe, he's willing to believe that a woman's hair fell out

when her husband came out to let's get married then. Right, in Dubai this woman went to Dubai for her holiday and she was over there and apparently in the markets they sell lizards. Oh go on. Right, just like for people to buy. So she buys one not knowing that you're not really meant to take him out of the country. Sure. Um, puts it in a bag.

Yeah. Yeah, as you do. What have you? And then she gets to the airport when she's going on, she's thinking I can't really leave it in her bag. So she puts it on an head. Where's where's it as a hat? She wore the lizard as a head? Yeah. People on the plane were just like, yeah, everything's fine. You know, they're doing the cross-checks and that. Have you got your seat belt? There's a woman there with the lizard. the lizard. the the lizard. the the lizard. the the lizard. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Where. Where. their. their. Where's their. Where's their. Where's, where. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where's. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the she gets off the plane at Manchester Airport, lizard sticks its tongue out, the aerostice says, what are you doing with that? She goes, I've had it. I've had it. Lizard said I just found her in Dubai. They said, I've had this with me all journey and they said well you shouldn't have done and they took it off her. Yeah. Yeah, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theree thi, the the their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, lizard, lizard is, lizard's their, lizard's their, lizard their, lizard's their, lizard, lizard, lizard's their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi, lizard. Liz, lizard's thi, lizard's thi, lizard's thi, lizard's thi, lizard's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their thi their their thi't have done and they took it off her. Yeah I think that is true actually. Yeah. So what about that? Yeah good yeah. Yeah that educated me.

Right, any more? Well what's that taught you? Be careful when smuggling, he's back and some kind of hat. Yeah, don't just say, Lizard keep your tongue in you're not. Not at the customs officer. Yeah. And what else have that? Any word didn't quite make it? Anything to declare? Oh, I've got a lizard on my head. We've got an old team one if you want that.

Go on then. Are these ones, sorry, are these ones that didn't make the list? These are ones that didn't make it here. Because I always get more in than I need to just in case. Just think if someone's just tuned in now. As Anders listening, it's Dickie Anderson. I've got an email from Richard Anderson, Dickie, the Dick machine, which, the big dick, the big dick, which, uh, now this is interesting. I mean, I think we're wearing him down. Ricky, I think your show might be improving. Go on. That sense of their I normally feel when listening to your show doesn't seem so bad today.

He's desensitized to it. Yeah. Always giving up. Oh, he's just giving up. Oh, he's just giving up. Oh, he's just giving up. Oh, he's just giving up. Oh, he's just long enough. to thrown. the standards will drop. Let's come back with some more colds. Yeah. I don't want to use use use use use use use use use use use use use use. I. I. I the facts. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I to use. I to use. I. I. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. He's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's always. He's always. He's always. He's always. He's always. He's always. He's always. Yeah! Feeder, just the round feeder. That's my favourite feeder track ever. It's bugging me, it's just like a ride track from about 10 or 15 years ago. So if you know, put me up on my to his reef, emailing, it's just like a ride track from about 1990 and I can't, just the beginning, drive me mental. Ricky Drvees at xfm dot kok yeah well half hour a go you've done your screen test reluctantly I think you I think you had such the wrong attitude well it doesn't matter does it if I've told you before if things are meant to be right they'll happen that's how I've got through my life right I'm 29 now yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that that that's that's that's th you that's th you th you th you th you th you th I th I th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm th I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi 29 now. Yeah. Never played. Well, yeah, 30, but the camera's still on.

Right? So, and everything I've done in my life, I've never sort of planned it. Is that how you stormed through your exam? Well, look at the, look at the school play doing Little Donkey. I wasn't planning that day to do the drums. just on the night I couldn't help myself. What happened was it me? When you know when all the kids were playing little donkey I wasn't meant to be doing my drum set in that track I was only meant to I think I was doing the We Three Kings or something but when they started doing it the tune I couldn't help myself with the drum stick just like taping away right right the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I th I th I th I was th I was th I was the. I was thuant I was thuant I was the. the. the. the. the. I wasn't th. th. I wasn't th. the I wasn't thunnenene th. I was th. I was th I was th I was th I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was th I was th I was th th that that thrown I was toye toye tape toye tape taping toye taping toye taping taping taping taping taping taping toye I was it came on I was like oh and I started doing it and like the teacher looked over at me and I was like oh I shouldn't be doing this but she sort of gave me the nod as if to say it's all right carry on it's

sounding good then after it she went you know they love that you can do that again tomorrow night so I got like an extra extra part in the play in the play and that was so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you so you that you that you that you that that that that that that that the that the that that that that the that that that that that that that that the that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was that that was that that was so you that that that that that was so you that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, that is like Fat Boy Slim or something, isn't it, when they mix up. No, no, you're brushing up at the age of what? Yeah. And that's what I'm saying. And that's that when, um, is that when someone was filming it and you could hear you down the camcorder going, he looks like a twaite. That's the one the one, thua that's, thua th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, they's, they's, they's they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they. It, they. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thr. It's thr. It's thr. It's thr. And, thr. And, thr. It's thrash. It's thr. It's thr. It's that, that, that, that, yeah. Oh. And that's why, maybe, that's why I don't want to be on the tele, because I'll always have my dad's sort of echoing voice just saying, you shouldn't be on there, he looks, looks like a, that's it.

So, that's why I'm a bit sort of nervous about this today. Really, you think it's sort of quite Freudian in a way, sort sort. case R-S-R-R-R-S-R-W. Well plus I haven't got the look I'm not pretending right that I should be on the television. What's wrong with your look for VH1? It's not right. It's not right. It's not right. John O was on do that as a job, and then they knocked him down. And he probably started eating. I don't think he could say not. He started eating. I don't get him now. Right? So that's what I'm saying. So if it's meant to be, right, whoever's going to watch this tape but you know time will tell. Very wise. And I tell you what actually, right?

It's a bit funny because we're looking on the web in the week out different sands. And do you know the same? A roundhead does not an MTV present make? Yeah, no, what's that saying? What's that saying? Spark in the pan or something? Flash in the pan? Flash in the pan?

You know that saying? That's a bit like what could happen to me, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? There I am trying to do my normal job, right? And then you bring me in here on a Saturday next thing, everyone's after me. And then it doesn't work out and I dropped and that saying flash in a pan, do you know how it came about? No. Do you know like how years ago they used to dig for gold? Gold. Yeah.

And they had like a little pan and they'd put the soil in and they'd rub the soil. Yeah and it's shone in the sun. Now and again it's shone in the sun and they get you know what I mean yeah so again that's a bit weird how I saw that saying in the week almost like a little thing saying don't be getting carried away so well makes you wonder but anyway so to things that make you wonder you saw Deron Brown what did he do oh no no no I told her but it's a but you should people don't really who Derrown Browne the best illusionist in the guy we went to a the the the the the the th. th. th. a th. a th. a th. a th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A lot th. A lot th. A lot th. A lot th. A lot th. A lot the. A lot th. A lot th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th is is is is is th is th is th is th. A th. A th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thee the the the the the the the best illusionist in the country. We went to Jonathan Ross's house for his birthday. I didn't. I know me and Jane and we went there, right?

And there was lots of people there. And Deron Brown was there, and Jonathan's got Darren Brown to do it. And it was incredible. He did all these tricks, right? I mean incredible. It was just amazing. with the bloke was there, a friend of Jonathan's name was Ray. And he got him to give the pack, he said count the cards and he counted out 52 cards. Yeah, he went, think of any card in that pack. He didn't tou-s sacked it yet, he's counted 52, he said, think of any card. He said, what was it? He said, the three-squad's some of it. He went, he went, find the pack. He's the card. He's and he. He's and he's and he's and he's and he's and he's and he's, he's and he's, he's, he's, he's, he's the the card, he's, he's the card, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he said, and he counted, and he said, and he said, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he counted, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's, and he's and he's, and he's the the the the their their their their their their their, and he's, and he's counted, and he's counted, and he counted, and he counted, he counted, and he said, counted, he said, counted, he said, count, count, count, count it, counted, counted, count, count it, counted, count, count the, counted, and he said, count, count, count, and he's, count, andthe cards there was 51 right and he couldn't find the card and he had no idea and we forgot about it he went like it's

gone wrong and he forgot about it and he kept three of him was gonna I wonder where that card is and he kept looking at that I found out that about a week ago Ray went into hospital with dependasitis yeah and the surgeon was really so they said was somewhat crumpled up, there was a third thing and it was a card that was in his thing causing a penance lights and when he came out of surgery there was a card from Darren Brown saying was that your card. That's amazing don't you think? I mean that's like incredible. This is a little thing and what and then a crab went, I know what it is, it's a five a spades. It's a 5, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there was a there was a there was a there was, there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there, there was a there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was a there was a there, there, there, there, there, there was a there, there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a there was a the wind up. Yeah, well see, see I'm not going to believe anything

anymore. But that's cards if I ever... You've learned to learn it. Yeah, but say if all this goes wrong now, right? Cry a wolf and all that. Imagine I get dropped by MTV. See I haven't been asked yet. Yeah, well, whatever. Right. They're short on fire. Right. They're short on fire. Right. They're short on the the shot, the shot, the shot, the shot, the shot, the shot, the shot, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say. Say, say, say, say, the s. Say, the s. Say, the the the the they, the the what you're talking about now. I don't know what he's talking about. I think somewhere on the weather, Carl has been recruited by the fire brigade. Did you leave that me out of the story? Start again acorns don't gather any grounds. Crying wolf. You can take your fish to water and you can't make it drink. Do you know that's saying? You can lead horse to what we can't make it drink?

Do you know why? Um, because it's necks too long. What? It's got to come. It's been bad today. I'm going to apologize to people listening today because I haven't been focused. Do you know, have you ever think that Rolling Stone gathers no moss? You aware of that? Yeah. Do you know what that's from? Uh, where it's from? In woodstock, right? The band used to go out and get this sort of like moss the moss, roll, roll, roll, thio, th..... th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I've, I've th, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I've to, I haven, I haven, I, I thin, I, I, I th. I, I, I, I I, I, I I, I, I, I I, I to, I, I, I, I, I to, I to, I to, I th. I haven, I haven, I haven, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I haven't, I'm, I'm th. I'm thin, I'm going thin, I'm going toda, I'm going today, I'm going thin, I'm going thin, I'm going thin, I'm going thin, I'm going thin, I'm going to to to to to go out and get this sort of like moss that used to grow there and it was sort of like slightly lusinogenic right and they used to come back and they used to all go out everyone was out there mummers and poppers were doing it and the doors they all came back but Mick Jagranke and Keith Richards would never do it but they'd smoke other people's

a rolling stone their most that was what it was seriously Right so we've still got to come, rockbusters. Have you heard the saying a fish in time saves nine? The clues were... Have you heard that? That'll never get off the ground, LZ. You've got... Have you heard that saying, out of the frying pan, into the saucepan? You've also got...

You've also got... I'm trying to to teach you some at Carl. Oh, I'm sure I'll hold it together now. Well, yeah, no, we're trying to teach you something, Carl. Yeah, but you're not. Why? Because at least my stuff that I tell you, if you go into a pub and told to me. What? There was a blind girl, she hit her edge, she could see. What's that?

Well, just don't get down if their their thebutting! Play the tune-for-pane. Oh, Carl, come on. Come on. The Undertones Teenage Kicks. That's one of the tracks on the best air guitar album in the world ever, volume 2, which is one of the prizes on today's Rockbusters. And John Pills' favorite song of all time. Yeah we have you, we've got the first clue. You're on set go. It's so miserable. I'm a bit fed up today. I knew when I was walking in today though that I'd be.

But that video, there's lots of weather on that video so they can, whoever wins this, can go and see sort of the weather you were talking about. The first one was that'll never Yeah but I said that's here. There's always two easy ones and a difficult one. The third one was you'll get a load of bacon off them. That was L. Long pigs. Yeah. And then the second one was that woman's got her husband's gloves and a pair of her own. H.H. Yeah. That was Herman's Hermit's. and a pair of her own. H.H. Yeah. That was Herman's Hermits. So that's the three answers. I'm sure that I went.

I'll win. I'll give the prize this week. There's a lot of... There's a lot of... That is genius, come on. That is genius! Oh! Oh! Hermann's Hermit. There's so many people who are worthy of the, um, of the prizes, obviously. I'd quite like to give the prize this week to, um, Tom McGibbon. Just because I like his name, I don't know if I've pronounced that right, but Tom McGibbon.

Yeah, I like to give that to me. No, he shouldn't laugh at Tom McGibbon of Blocks Hall Road. I don't know why. Well you've made a mocker, you've made a monkey out of the man. Yeah. Yeah. And he's asking that he's got a question there. What? Can Carl get rid of slugs? I don't know what slugs? I don't know what? Can't get rid of that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. too. too. too. too. too. to to to to to have known out to. Go on. Because I told you what slugs like. What? Getting in letter boxes. How does that get rid of them? Put some stamps in your garden. What?

What? They like, they like stamp. They like stamp. They like, they'd keep coming back won't they? Then you're going, I can't believe it, we'd have to climb those boxes now, he's a fellow leaving stamps out for us. You've won some prizes and I've sorted you. No, how does that get rid of slugs? Leaving stamps out for them, their favourite food? Because... It's like planting load of let's let's the le leaettles, they love that. Well it depends on where he's he's he's he's he's he's the th th th th th th th th th's tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho their their tho-a' tho-a' tho-a' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the. the. theat-s. tops tape. tape tops tape tops tape tops tops tape tho-a' thanks thanks thanks thanks there's loads of stamps out here lads let's leave this house. Let's get out of this house. We've got one more educating Ricky too one. Go on and quick then. I need educating. Right. Don't rub it too hard. You'll get a rusher. How was he going out with Deron Brown? You said something in the break. Oh I have to say yeah, Deron Brown we bumped into as well and he did this incredible then then then th and he th and he th and he th and he th and he th and he th and I th and I I thin I thin I thin I thin I thuic I thuic I thuic I thuic I the. I the. I the. I the, I thu thu' the, I the, I'm the, I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thu the the the their I their I their I their I their I thu ced thu. I thu. I thu. I need the, I need the. I need theeeea'eatea'e. I thea'ea'ea'ea'e. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm toe. I'm to down on the table he says I can tell you which hand you've got a pound coin in let's say five times out of five you know so I

have a pound coin in one hand I put it behind my back I bring my hands out and he tell me every single time which hand it's in by asking questions by doing well he does not but he just goes no you might be in that one you'll probably not you know it's a person you probably you're probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I probably I go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go so so so so you guys so you guys you go you go you go you go you go so you go go go go go so you go so you go so you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you And well, Carl, you tell me how you think you could outwit Derenbrain. Because your dad used to do this trick, you told me. My dad used to play this. Um, how old were you the toy? I don't know. Probably about 10. So you probably weren it in, his hand looks bigger. So that's how you've got to do. That's how he did it then. That's how to catch Darren out. It was a bit different because he did it with golf balls but a pound.

But to catch Deron out, Carl told me, Rick, he did it with a spud. To catch Deron out, the hand which hasn't got the coin in, just make it just like extend it slightly larger and that'll catch daring out you'll never be honest. That's how he did it. Or just put a pound in each hand and wind him up just go no you're wrong. You're you are brilliant Carl yeah do this one. Do you do you do you did your dad you see the one where he takes your nose off off of your face and puts it between his fingers did you did you keep going to the doctor? Yeah, go on. You know how that's done? You know he's not actually taking your knee? This thumb? Go on. What is his thumb? Last one? Yeah. Don't rub it too hard you'll get a rasher. It's been a mess. It's been a mess. What? What? The show? How has it been any worse? It's just all over the place? It's not tigh. It's not tigh. the, it. It's been. the the the the the. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's been. It's the to. It's the the the the to. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tight, it's not tight like it, you know all is. And she'll be going away with this, thinking that's what the show would be like. She listens to the show, she knows the shamples every week, go on.

Well, don't rub it too hard you'll get a rasher. Do you know the saying ham it up? Yeah, go on yeah. Well, do you know what it means to overact? Well, years the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their tha, tha, tha, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thather, thathea, thathea, that, that, thoom, thoom, thoom, thoom-a, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show, the show. She's is that, that, the show. She's show, togu. She's show, togu. She's show, togu. She's show, to overact. Right? Well years ago with actors in musicals and stuff, they'd um, the actors used to look pretty ill on the stage because they didn't have proper makeup and that. Right. Right. So what they used to do to make themselves look at... Rubbed their face and they got bacon, rubbed it on the face and it made the face a bit sticky because of all the like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, their, their their their their their their their their their their th, their th, their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha' tha' tha' tha'a'a'a'a'a, tha, tha, tha, their, tha, tha, they got bacon, rubbed it on the face, and it made the face a bit sticky because of all the, like, you know, the pig fat and a bit of lard and stuff like that. And then they'd go and get some bricks.

Bricks. Yeah, house bricks. Rub them together, make some sort of red dust from the brick, and then put the dust on the fat and the lard and that would make the dust stick to the face and they look well under the lights and that's where they say... It's great as well. Yeah, well, everyone likes to smell a bacon. No, but so that's the old ham it up, that's where it comes from.

I'm not, you know, if it's true, I'm no reason to think that it's not. So that's your third educating Ricky today. So what if you learn? Nothing. Absolutely soddle. You've got your hamming it up. Yeah. Ram's a gay. They know which ones are gay now. And uh...

That's last, thank God. The fella, the fella who can hand read an ass. If you missed the rest of the show, what are you going to make a land? If you've just tuned in? You are a maniac, Carl. And you've had your screen test? I reckon we'll be seeing you on MTV or VHY in the near future? How much is it? How much? I mean, check out answer what do you reckon I'll get? You see the annoying thing is I've just bought a flat in London yeah in central London yeah MTV's in Camden yeah I want a bought in central London if I'd have known I'd had to go there that was to make my life easier so I could walk to work so now I've got

to go out of me way so I need to cover that to be true to be truthful I'm not sure I'm not sure sure to to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to to be sure to be sure to to be sure to to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure to be sure I'm not sure to be sure I'm to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be they they they. I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not the the the the the the the the the the the to be the to be to to to to to to to to to be a certainty yet. She's pretending she's not sure but she can't wait to sign the up. I reckon you know maybe start off with a few little interstitials just like you know what do you think make of that or Carl says and you know few of them I reckon you make a you know a few grand. Why is it? Why is it why is it got to be music? I can't I think that idea on the animals is good I can't do do do do do do do th. I can't do th. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that. I th. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that. that that that that that that that that that that that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I m. I m. I'm the. I m. the. I m. the. the. the. I the. I the. idea on the animals is good. I can do film stuff, I can talk about films. Elephant man. Love that. Go on and do a film review quickly. Right, right, well today on film review we're doing classic films and today we're looking at Elephant Man, John Merrick, one of his better pieces of work. It's a sad film I've never

really been able to watch it all the way through sorry John Merrick's better piece of work was him being the elephant man played by John hurt yeah go on then sad film when I was younger tell us a bit about what is it about it is about it's about a fellow who's funny head right right tell us this and And, you know, he lives in, I think he lives in London, in like the, out in the 1930s or something like that, and he's being picked on all the time and stuff. And the first time you watch it, you'll probably cry a bit. And then the second time you watch it, you just sort of thinking, oh, would be bad, sort of having a head like that being picked on all the time. And the third time you watch it, you might think, you know, oh, how does

he get his jumper on? Then, I don't know, I'm probably bored of it the fourth time. But it's well worth watching, so Elephant Man. Uh, brilliant. Yeah, see it. Brilliant. I think if you want to get on TV Carl, you'd be better as the subject of maybe like an omnibus documentary. Living with Carl. Or maybe one of those appeals in comic relief. You don't all go to the people abroad, you know. There's some people in this country that need our help.

Yeah. What is it? That's the Li. . What is it? That's the Libertines time for heroes. Oh yeah. So Carl, what a great day? Carl, he's done his screen test. That's going back to MTV now, to look the big wigs to have a look at. Should mention wigs. We've had Rockbusters. We've had educating Ricky. we had educating Carl. Yeah. Yeah. And Claire in next week.

So. Yeah. But you'll be back for the big Christmas, Christmas spectacular. Yeah. And that's that. That's that that thin. If someone's listened for the first time today, it's normally better than this.

It's not? No, it is. I don't. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We. We. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. to. to. We. We'. to. to. We'a. We'a. We'a. We're. We're. We're. We'll. We're. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.'t think it is. I really don't think it is. So that's that then. So I'll see you in two weeks. Two weeks. All right, enjoy yourself. Cheers. Best of luck with MTV. All right. I'll see you later. Okay. See it. Cheers.