The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E17 (December 14, 2002)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

Eminem, lose yourself on XFM, 104.9 and Rick and Javais with me Steve Merchant, but not Carl Pilkington. No Carl, no. He's gone back to Manchester, isn't it? That's better than London. You don't know it, you don't know it, Manchester's better than London. Instead, Claire Sturgis. Claresturgis. Yeah, Greg, yeah, thanks. Yeah, they're in sort of the camouflage gear in it. Is that quite trendy? Is that what the kids are wearing? Someone actually mentioned that this morning? I am actually, yeah, taking time out this morning from what I normally do. I missed the second half talk about that of celebrity boot camp. Cullio, is it? The fellow from Medie Vanilli. What the one that's not dead?

No, the one that killed himself, Steve. Okay. Um, I just want to clarify for people, a lot of people don't realize that one of them is dead. Right. I thought it was important to mention it. Actually, yeah, I didn't know. I'd be honest with you, I'd be honest with you. No. question you went what the one who's not there because I could have found a more tapful way of bringing up the death of one of Millie because I think it was a lot of people that they're no upset maybe clearly yeah people

that's quite a shock I didn't see I mean I should have sat people down I did who died vanilla or they I think it was I think it was a danger I know you're you're you're think of the fellow of the fellow I the the the fellow I the the fellow I the the the the fellow I the the the the fellow I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that I th the they th they they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the th I th I thin I tho tho thou th thin they they th they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're y Pilly. Because I mean that is a danger. No, you're thinking of the fellow out of Grumpel, Palumple. He was amazing. He was amazing. It's a great shame that he comes from Palumpo. They're not around this. Anyway, we've got some great tunes lined up.

We're going to play today our favorite singles singles of the year. Well it's the favourite tune some of which didn't quite make it as singles maybe but tunes of the year because obviously Christmas very soon and we'll be away for a short time. I think next week we'll be doing our favorite Christmas songs of all time. Yeah I'm worried we're not going to fill two hours with that. How many times times can you play shaking stevehens before? Yeah exactly. That's the only one. That's the best's the best's the best. That's the best. That's the best. That's the best. That's the best. That's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's the best. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We. We. We. We. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're the the the the the the their th. We're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I's. We're their. We're their. We're their that starts with a kind of Christmas you feel. Beautiful. I don't think if there's anything else, not great deal. The waitress is Christmas wrapping. Is that one? Is that brilliant? Is that good? So this is Christmas, John Lennon. Paul McCartney came out with simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Yeah, yeah. So John's was having Christmas war is over. Yeah. Yeah. So John's was happy. It was happy. Yeah. So John's a the Christmas. the Christmas. the Christmas. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. the. John. John. John. the. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. It. John. John. John. John. It. It. John. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It was. It was. John. It was. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It........................................ this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this wanted to be. No he was dreaming of it he was dreaming of it yeah I mean and to show I don't know if anyone's yeah I don't know if anyone's yeah I like John's protest against war I stayed in bed for a week yeah I've been protesting against war for ages yeah I've been protesting against war for ages yeah I'm eating hamburgers yeah I'm eating a hamburgers yeah I'm eating hamburgers yeah I went I just go into Burger the burger the burger the burger the burger the burger the burger the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I was was was I was they I was they was I was was I was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was I was was was was I was I was was I was I was was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they I was they I was the the the, absolutely. I went, I just go into Burger King on the way here.

I went into the, I went into the counter. But of course that's not, I mean not product placement there and there's a number of other burger joints that people may wish to go to if they just go to. I'm from going to go. But I went into Burger King because it's close. It's convenient. It's convenient. It's convenient. It's convenient. I the th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's convenient. I's convenient. I's convenient. I's convenient. I's convenient. depending where you are. Just as convenient, depending on what you are. And I said, I said, um, could I have a cheeseburger and small fries take away, please? And he recognized me. He went, oh, so you know, I've seen, he winked and went, I've thanks. He winked and went, I've thin' thrown. So that's the sort of... So it's paying off at last true geniuses being rewarded by the burger joints.

Because I mean there's been a couple of times where I've been with you and you know we've gone in a restaurant and someone's giving you a free meal or whatever. It's the way that it's like, you don't ask for it, it's just kind of offered. But I don't know what they make... I'm going to give him a little treat. Yeah, I know, I don't like it, but then I'm always grateful and I never... But the thing is, yeah, I'm slightly embarrassed. Did anyone around you hear what was happened? No, because I imagine their resentment, just the whole room telling him. No, I had to go around tellain. I their their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I their. I their. I their. I their. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I theeeee. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I me the free thing because I'm on the tele. And I went, I don't recognise it. I went, you don't recognise me. I'm terrified now that someone could be listening at Burger King HQ.

You know, I'm assuming this is an unorthodox procedure. And that little fella's got fired. They know, they know it's less Number 342. Well I just hope Lilton doesn't get in trouble. So, uh, what are we going to play for? I could be a sad Christmas for him. He's probably keeping his whole family afloat. Um, bit his springsteen. Um, bit the tunes of the year. Well, I know people dismissing to play Springsteen. I just think, you know, leave aside what you think is cool and trendy and the fact that

he's older now or whatever else. Just leave all that behind and just listen to the tunes because, you know, he remains a great musician. Lonesome day? Loads some, thereigh. It's the current. Free, the boss. Do we care if it's trendy? We're like Huey Lewis, it's hip to be square thing. That's true, we should play some Huey. We can't. Can we? Oh, come on the power of love.

No, it's a curious thing. Yeah, yeah. It makes one man, no man sing. I don't know what's going on there. It's weird, it's strange. Oh, flipping neck. Flii. their. F flipping. Fli. Fli. Fli. Fli. Fli. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. We. We. We's. We's. We's. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. We should. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We should, th. We should, all right. I mean I'll tell you I bet they wanted to rock I went to drive along a freeway. Well I think you've got to be hard pushed to turn over the channel if you're driving and that's playing. Who wouldn't want to be driving a car while the final of Fame Academy? No I don't watch Fame Academy. Foxy got in there who's in the audience? No! I had a foxie looking. Not enough being on Pope I was in there. Like I was in there.

And do you know he was sitting next to him? In disguise? In disguise? He had a little beard and a little beard. I looked like, the throw. And the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I, I, I, I was, tho, Foxed, Foxed, Fox, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox, Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox, Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox. Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, was, Fox, was, was, Fox, was, was, was, Fox, was, Fox, Fox, was, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, Fox, was, Fox, was, Fox, was, Fox, Fox, was, And we typed it, yeah, yeah, and I went there and he was there. So he's back from America. Was it obviously a false beard? No, no, I think he's. Is he befriended Foxy?

I don't know. Are they're hanging out together? On the honk? We're going to see seems to make sense. Oh dear. So that's it I'll be probably pumping in for information about Foxy because you know I'm big fan of Foxy as you know. I know. Both the DJ and a medical man. I like that. I like the way that you've got pumping and foxy in the same sentence. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. th. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. th. th. th. th. th. I to. I to. I to to calm day. Did you just say you're going to see him tonight? Is it comedy wars tonight? Yeah. Yeah, it's the big two. Yeah. Yeah. You're going, obviously. Yeah. What you wearing? What are you wearing?

Very boring, I'm afraid. Very traditional tuxedos. Tuxedos. We went shopping together and bought them. It's quite sad. I don't then then tho. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. tho. We th. We tho. We went th. We went tho. We went tho. We went th. We went th. We went th. We went th. We went tho. We went tho. We went tho. We went tho. We went tho. We went tho. We're tho. We're th. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going th. We're going th. We're going to. We're going to. We're going to. We're going too. We're going to. We're going to. We're going thoo. We're going tho. We're going th. We's quite sad, I don't know what, I should have said that and lost a certain degree of rock and roll tools. It was funny, because I went straight in I went at 42 chests, 36, 30 legs, I think that's fine right. Steve, then I had to stay there looking at Steve trying about nine jackets so the arms weren't too short. I suggest at one go down to London Zoo and see what the Gibbons were the gans is the gans is the gins is the gins is the gins is the gins is the gi-inters the gi-inters the githem wear when there's an organ grinder no who's making those? I'm one of those yeah six foot nine yeah oh dear have you got the come of buns and things you've got well this is a thing my father phoned up you know I have conversations my parents which are always they'll find out and it be like oh all right how is it going what are you having a lovely yeah probably a spigoty bolognana oh yeah oh yeah what the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th i th i th i th i th th th i th th th th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh oh oh oh oh th th oh th oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. the th. tho. the the? What are you having for tea? What are you having a lovely, I'll probably have you have a spaghetti volonation like dad?

Oh yeah, what have you had dad? Oh your mother just made a lovely lasagna, Steve? I mean literally that's the conversation it's like yeah every parent it's just they're just interested in food, food that you've eaten food, food, food that you've enjoyed. Food, food, enough vitamin C tablets? Because I can always send you some. I can buy on myself. I'll send you some. I'll send you something. It's not a price. So anyway, I'd say it. He says, well, he says, he said, well, if you've done. He says, what if you've done. You know, I'm try but how cheap? Toil in the price, she went, no, that's not bad, not bad. Elaine, you just bought a tuxedo! He just bought a tuxedo, Elaine! Yeah? He said, uh, have you, you got a cumber band? I said, do I need a cumber band?

He said, well, you're gonna be dancing? Like he knows, like he's some kind of, like he's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. He's, th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He, he's a. He. He. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's a. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's tux. He's t. He's t. He's tux. He's's ever worn a suit let alone the tuxedo What do you know about? I love your dad. I just the idea of him being at some kind of dew and rightly lank jackets off, jackets off, Jackets off, time for a dance. You know come and bun. Do you wear it over it don't you wear it over. the belt? Over the braces is different tip of the belt. Because those those those those those those those those those th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th are th are th are the th are tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thou thanks. I thou their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th are going. I are going. I are going. I are going. I are going. I are going. I are going. I th are going going. I th are thoing are thoing are going going going going going going going going. I thin. I thou. I thin. I thin. I thou. I tou. I tou. I touch. I touch. I touche. I touche. I tou. I tou. I to be the. I the. I thin. I'm going thin. I'm going th braces I think. No you're down. You wear over it don't you. Over the belt but braces is a different. There's no bell. Well no, no, no you're right, it is over the braces. Sorry, how many people tune to XFFM are worrying about the etiquette and cover buttons? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't. I know. I don't know. I don't. I go. I go. I go. I go. I go. I go. I go. I go. I don't. I don't. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the............................................................................................................................... you. No I do look like James Bond. I look exactly like him. It's uncanny. It's uncanny. It is really? Because the bloke in there said you look like a lanky streak of piss and I looked and I looked good. No no no no no no no. No he did he did he did he did. He said he was he was walking strenthe the s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s sink he the thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. He said thi. He said thi thi. He said he thike he said he looked like a doggy, he said you look like a cold with a stupid gingery blonde

hair and the gugillise. You look like a combination of bloatj. He looks really like a lanky twa. He said. Richard Ashcroft on XFM 104. That, that's in the top five for, the singles of the year so far. Well, yeah, we're talking about, what we're talking about, comedy awards, your dad's cummerbund. If my father's comabund he needs to be wearing it. I'm sure it is over the braces. Yeah, well if anyone knows that, if anyone knows the kind of rules. So are you actually wearing one. bother but then I'm thinking what if I dance what if I do some grooving later you shouldn't why not well I've seen you don't give me that no no no don't

give me that no no wait wait it's not the you're not a bad dancer it's that you I've seen you hit people in the face with your elbow because there's always gonna be casualties actually really it's a real it's a real I've I've danced with a I'd dance with Steve, have you? And one of indie discosos at Yuling. There you are, you've never forgotten. And he's good, he's alright. I have been alright, yeah. I tell you're going to be alright.

I tell you're so tall, because I'm so tall, I do tend to that weird but I can see where you're coming from. So I do feel slightly self-conscious. Why don't you hold them? Why don't you carry them when you're dancing with them? So they're well no but the thing is because I... Can you dance with Jeanette Cranky and still not look too weird? Sure. But that wouldn't be weird, you know, I'm quite visible on the dance floor. What I'll tend to do is maybe dance on any kind of podium that they might have into the bigger dance clubs or you know, any kind of stage. I just get out there bust and moves. Yeah. Because then it's like, you know, that's your opinion, if you don't think it, but that's again a lot of jealousy. I mean, I love what you say is jealousy.

He went for the normal shirt, I went for the, uh, the wing collar, I just thought, I went, uh, the win-court. I just thought I went? It makes sense. It's true to mind. Yeah. I mean you've got, you're in so much cash now that you don't know what you don't what you're spending on, but yeah. I said how much I went out and I said not expensive in that. I said I'm going to give you an extra tenor. I gotthe. when his dad said that and then you told me so much that I find it am I amazing. Oh well the thing is yeah it's Christmas obviously I've got to go back to Bristol.

I love seeing my family. Well yeah I do but it means I see my grandparents who are you know brilliant people I mean lovely people but mental I mean utterly mental and they've taken now to there must be sort of 80 a piece and there is quite an old age but they're fairly they're they're they're they're they're fairly fairly fairly they're fairly they're fairly they're fairly they're fairly fairly they're fairly they're fairly they're fairly they're fairly they're fairly they're very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very they're they're they're their their they're their their their their their their their their great great their great their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. It's fairly. It's fairly they're fairly they're fairly th. It's really fairly th. It's really really fairly th. It's really really really really really really th. It's the. It's their their their their their their their their they've taken now to, there must be sort of 80 apiece. And there is quite an old age, but they're fairly good health, relatively speaking, and they just spend their time in bed. I mean that's all they do is that's their profession, that's their, they've retired to go to bed. And they've been all're like that old family in Charlie in the chocolate factory. Remember none of them had got up for like 25 years? Yeah.

And they're going to bed, they're going to sleep. But then when they wake up, what they do is put an extra pillow, so they're slightly more upright and that's them in the day and then. That's their, right. That's their daytime. Yeah. But they get up cook cook cook cook cook cook, they've got about six teeth between them. I mean my grandmother needs false teeth but refuses to go and have the old ones extracted in a false teeth fitted so she's working with about three or four teeth. My grandfather had false teeth given to him during the war. Well it was plastic teeth on a wooden palette right that sits at the top of the mouth he's still got the wooden palette

but most of the teeth have come off so there's about four teeth he's got a set of false teeth that make him look like he needs false teeth I mean that's pretty bizarre. So the problem is that they have to get up, they get up about 7 in the morning to put on say you know some beef or lamb, whichever they're going to cook. They put it on at 6 in the morning, at 7 in the morning, so that by the time they eat it it at 6 at night, they can use the phrase, this is what a meal is for my grandparents, if they can use the phrase, oh that's lovely, oh that's lovely, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tho, oh, thu!... Oh, thu, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, th, th, th, th, th, they's, they', they', they', thr, th, they', they', they', they', they's, they's, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they', they', they're, they're, they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll, they'll they'll, and serve it as a broth. I don't want that phrase coming from old people without teeth. No, indeed.

Because it must remind you of your rent boy days. Exactly. It brings it all flooding back. Oh God. Float is the word. Oh God, you know. . Yeah. You said they were a blowjob far too many times today. And with, in the same sentence as you, I can't be.

And it's Christmas, yeah. Don't forget what Christmas is about. Come on, spare a fort for the underprivileged people. Yeah. Stap, Steve, is it Benquell? Is it Ben Queller? I don't know. I don't we just got to think about what we've done? I'll tell you this they do spend so much time in bed that they actually, I'm sure more of what happened to

six. Ben Queller, that's fantastic. That end of this, oh, it's like Benfold, a bit of old out, and that's great. You had him in session didn't you? Did you meet him or did you because he's quite young? He he him? Because? Because? Because. He he. He he. He. He. He. He. He's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. He, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, to, to, to, to, in, in, in, in, in, in, th. That's, th. That's, th. That, th. That, th. That, to, to, th. That, to, to, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. In, th. In, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, th. Ben, to, to, to, to. I, to. I, to. I, to. In, to. In, to. Ben, to. Ben, to. Ben, Kennedy and and I also a session for me and I've been repeat I repeated it this week as the best of the year sessions because it was he did three songs stunning stuff it's just him in the piano was it or him in a guitar it was just yeah it was just him yeah him with a couple of instruments stunning and also he did a ding walls to a gig for x f f f f f f f f f f f f f the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the M listeners and the reaction from the listeners phoning up trying to get tickets was incredible and really has tou-n'er. Well like you say Ricky I mean it's really, you know, it's great.

Well I was just saying that we were talking there's a kind of lack of music that sort of seems to be making use of instruments and sort like you know the streets and whatever else or you know kind of hip hop and stuff and it in that I'm the fact that a lot of pleased to see Miss Dynamite on top of the pop's last night using a live band really kind of it really kind of it really kind of a whole lot of it really exciting but the other that anyways anyways that's us being terribly there there's a tbiz a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th I I I th I tha tha the I'll the I'll they. they. I's a they. I's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's enough of that. Well we are playing our favourite records. Well it's nice to be able to talk sensibly without Carl interrupting with some gibberish. I mean bless him. I don't see it as gibberish. He's probably listening on Sky or 664. Or around the world on XFM.co. that the UK. Get that in. Is that what you do today? What do you do today? you just do do just do just do just do just do just just just just just just do just just just do you just just just just just just just just just just just just just do you just just just do you just just just just do th you just do th. You just just do they. th. th. th. to just do to do to do to do do do do do do do tho. they. the the th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I. I. they. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. I to to th. I to to th. I to th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I don't th. I th. I and click on I never get things that had to work on my computer or you can go and check out the webcam obviously and see me in my camouflage gear you won't see you will you? Now so what do you do just go into the website and what does it say play live online

yeah listen and it's just like listening down the phone line yeah I sound like I've come from the 19th century. Watch this. I'm not very... Oh, I was going to say something but I can't. Can we just very quickly before I move on that because I'm getting very excited about the comedy awards now I know what you're wearing. And you've got a table with all your mates there. Is Jonathan Ross doing it again? Yeah, that's why it's my favorite. I hate awards. I do honestly. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's this. It's tha. It's tha. It's tha. It's tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm just, I'm just. I'm not. I'm just, I'm just, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I. I's th. I's th. I'm. I'm th. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not's my favourite. And I hate awards, I do

honestly hate them but this is actually an event because it's Jonathan Ross it's just... Well I was because I'm talking to someone about it and I might mention it before but so we did it to award so we went to an award ceremony last year where everything was sponsored by corporate groups you know by business or by you know differently it was a kind of it was spot everything was sponsored and I swear to God the pudding was sponsored by Electrolux yeah and I've never eaten a pudding before sponsored by anyone and they it's you know it's a very odd affair that I thought that was very strange because it seemed as though corporate people had

paid for a table so that they so when we came out that someone guy came on stage and say well we've got a lovely number, a wonderful collection of celebrities here this evening. Oh God over there. And it was, please be up standing for your chairman, Tom O'Connor. We were made to give Tom O'Connor a standing o'clock. A standing o'clock. We didn't stand up for him. We can give Tom O'Connor a former presenter of a standing. We're standing ova. cream of British TV talent giving him a set-up not that he doesn't deserve it I'm sure he's a great entertainer but so I think Sir Cliff was there wasn't

see the back of the stage this week I don't want to talk about it is too embarrassing why Tom O'Connor's on there thanking thanking Mal Young the BBC for giving him a part in doctors yeah I love that I pleased to be back on TV. What an ad for? Yeah, a whole page. Thank you the BBC for having him back on TV. Stop there. But we're laughing, but it's going to happen to you about the year's time. Exactly. Oh God. Anyway, I just want to know bad behavior.

Who do you think? Who do you think? anyone. Well we've had we had we had the um Barrymore and Clary the fisting and Barrymore throwing his monitor that was funny. The her and what was she was he's heck about dead-float? There's not really any sort of there's not really any kind of wayward people at the moment is there in showbys in terms of entertainment comedy there's no one who sort of sort of seems to have a drunk or drug drugged sadly I'm I'm the they they th so so I they th so I th so I th so I th so I th so I th so I th so I th so I th so I th so I th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th so th th th th th th th th is no I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th no th no th th th th no th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no th is no the the the the the the to to to to to toyyyyy theeeeeeeeeeeee the the the the the the the that you know something might take hold. The devil may care. No, I think he's very careful. He's a bit careful, yeah. Too tired. Yeah, too tired. Too tired. Shout and scream.

You have been kind of coughing and weasing throughout the day. I'll tell you why. I had a fight, didn't I'll talk give the result we can't give the result on the fight but no no I've got a cough I've got a cough again I'm scared I'm allergic to some up what if I'm allergic I was worried today that I'm allergic to wheat oh no well that would be thaea. Well I'm not allergic to my cat. Get rid of it. Oh no. Well it seems that easy but well it out the window. That's how I saw like that. I'm not a trained doctor but that's how I took that one. I just like to apologize for any... But they always land on their feet don't they, cats? That would be fine. And it's got

nine lives so if it lands on a spike you'll be fine. Oh don't. Oh don't, what what happened to me? Because you can't laugh because of the fight in th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thinks, that, I that, I, I, I's that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's that, I's that, I's that, I's that, I's that, I I I's, I, I I, I I, I, I, I I I, I, I, I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that, I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's, I have to say though that I remember we were talking on the radio about what Ricky should come out to for the big match. For those that don't realize Ricky at Christmas, there's a TV show on Ricky, I don't know why even to this, I don't know why even to this, I don't know why even to at the beginning of the fight Rick, I don't know if you know this, he was described as entrepreneur, Grant Bovey, husband and Matthew Turner, I don't know what that means exactly. Well he does bits of business actually. Yeah, businessman, businessman, entrepreneur. But, uh, what was I described as, yeah, I think fat, funny man, I think fat, funny man, or a comedian and actor. But Ricky, yeah, Ricky came out out, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was th, I was th, I was th. I was th, I was th, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't th., I don't know, I don't know, th., th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I don be something like that or a comedian and actor. But you can yeah Ricky came out to Mama said knock you ain't by LL Cool Jay.

Nice. I think I don't know who's suggestion it was I think it might be mine but it was the blinding and I noticed you were really they were really they don't. I think I thin. I think I ever did it didn't. And I noticed you were really. He was kind of. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was really. I was really. I was really. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I. I. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. I. th. I. I. th. I. th. th. I. th. I. th. th. I. I. th. I. I. I. I. I. didn't I? Well you he was kind of pragling around the ring staring every, staring Bovi out and staring the crowd out and kind of looking really oh yeah but of course he's got this ludicrous beer belly. Do you know what I mean? So it looks like it looks like Johnny make us his way I did you know all the trying to do that sort of athletic guy he could actually be a boxer but But did you have, did you have like the, I'm obviously the filming it for tele, did you have the production crew saying right, stop, can you just do that, throw that punch again? No, no, it's not really a fight. I think people can't they just let them go. I think people can't go to fight. I think it's unpleasant. I mean wasn't nice. No, it was, I have to say I was really kind of

riled up by it, I've never been to a fight before and I just was like, come on, I was like smash his face. I was really shouting, I was just going crazy. No, I'm shouting for it, and then I was, then I just decided to try and freak him, so I was shouting, kiss him, snog him, thi! th, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, sn, I th.. th. th. th. C, I was si, I was si, I was si, I was, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. t. that in a vain attempt to throw someone. And it was extraordinary, but I tell you, I think, because I think you'd be better off like if they sort of brought back wrestling. Wrestling, wrestling. Wrestling from the 70s. I think I think Daddy in age-like. Like Big MacManus. Yeah, I think they're 58 one of them, that's colour. Yeah, but the outfits are fun. Oh, it's a bit too tight, weren't they some those outfits. Yeah, it's always like a shiny whatever preceded lycra. I know, with just a little winkle showing. A little

little winkle in their timesharts. Why were you looking at it right? Yeah, I've done you. Oh, play record. I've done you. I'm not, I'm not one of that. You're not looking at my mouth. Yes. But those are the red hot chili peppers and they're still going strong. Ah, indeed, yes. Yes, absolutely. Yes, absolutely. We're all mutual.

We love them all. We're not annoying each other by putting in terms the other one doesn't like. We're like a team for that, isn't it? I think that's the Christmas spirit, I don't know what it is. We've come together, we're sort of unified, yeah, in the absence of Carl. Yeah, they often divides us, he often comes between us. You know, we, you know, all three of us love each other. But, you know, because he does love you guys. Yeah, exactly, but sometimes it's hard, you know. He looks up, he aspires to you too. But it's tough, that's tough.

Yeah, because of, um, because of, they've never had that before. No. Well I have to say I'm really getting into the Christmas spirit. I did, when I was younger I didn't really enjoy it. I was quite cynical. I was like you know, you're joking. But now I'm sort of, yeah. I walk in a department store and if there's one you know chestnuts roasting on an open fire. That, or any of those. I tho you're one one one one one one one one one one one one one the old the old th. I was. I was th. I was th. I was th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm really. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really th. I'm really that. I'm really that. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. I'm really. tune, yeah. You know, that one or, uh, is it, how does it go? Chestnuts, chestnuts, chestnuts, roasting on, you know, the things it knows. But I can't get enough of them. I love it, I'm in the department store, you know, it's frosty outside, you know, it's warm in that. Just backing up to it like that with your little chestnuts hanging out like a bulldog. What would you be wet? You probably would just, I imagine you'd have your dressing going on, you've just hoikeed it up, just put it up, like you're just pupped them down, like

tuck it in like a lovely lady. Yeah, so like a lovely lady from the front but behind it looks like a, you know a real, a bulldog dragging tree. And and you and you and you and you and you just and you just and you just and you just and you just and you just and you just and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just just, and you just just just just just just just just just just, and you just just just just, and you just, and you just, and you just just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just just just just just just just just, you just just, you just just just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just just, you just, you just just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, and you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you'd, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, like, you'd, like, like, like, you'd, like, like, you'd, like, you'd, like, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd, yeah. And you would, because you want to be careful of too much roasting, so I imagine you just want to just kind of eat yourself in slowly and if it feels too hot, get out of there, get the hell out of there. You know, if any kids are listening, try that. No, what? Like there's a kid thinking, yeah, I'm someone to do it and then the parents go and Steve Merchants told our children to do it. We're probably getting out, we're probably in trouble now with that. Where's the kid going to find an open fire like those? I mean it has to be the sort that they use those kind of barrels. It can't just be open fire at home that. It can't just be open fire up though. Richard Anderson is that. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thing thing thing there going tho tho the they thou probably probably probably probably thoing thoing they thoing thoing thoing thoing tho only probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably th. they. they. they. they. We they. We they. We they. We th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the thi. Oh, thi. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, thoo. Oh, the they're they. Oh, time there. We've lowered the tone. I'll tell you what, what will prick us all up though? Richard Anderson is emailed us, Sticky Anderson.

He's loving the show, is he? Well I don't know if you've heard this Carl, I've called you Carl. That's okay. That's okay. I'm Claire, pleased you. It was the k-sound. Because didn't I call you Arthur or Jack or something last time? He called me, um... I can't remember it. I don't know, but it was quite embarrassing. Claire, I'll be honest with you, Claire, it's quite an un-memorable name. Yeah, I know. But, yeah, Dickie Anderson, he's a guy, I'd be honest with you, he's not a big fan of the show. But he's not a big fan, he's a, he's not, he's not, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's not, he's th. I, I, I, I, I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't thin. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I th. I the more I seem to look forward to it. Now I see your face plastered across London is your show some sort of curse put on me

by an old gypsy woman I've annoyed? You know a good point Dickey but um... but Randers as I call it yeah yeah I can't listen now I know what he's doing yeah it's tucked to me and he's backing into the fire as we speak and he wants he wants to roast them till they spit they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their to tho to tho. their tho. their their their thooooooo' their their the the theee their to their to their it he wants to roast them till they spit. Oh dear. Thanks for thanks for listening. Thanks for it's a Merry Christmas to you and happy and as you know he got a lot to look forward to because our first hour is always the best. As you're gonna be loving it to three cockas. Oh dear. What should we play? Well this is I every so often I get sent a CD by a friend of mine Harry who just sorts me out with tunes that I may have missed. That's such a good idea. It is a great idea.

This is one that I think it came out this year. It's a teenage fan club and they team up with Jad Fair. And I think it's a mixed bag the album apparently, but this is one of there? No, no. Oh, it's not me, Steve, honestly. It keeps stopping. It looks like it's you. No, honestly. You're pressing buttons, you're fiddling with buttons. No, no, look, it comes back again.

Right, you can't play that. Right, you can't tough. I just, I just, I just, This never, I'm gonna stop it into another CD machine and can we play Oasis? It's one of my favorites, the Oasis back on form. Yeah, Rick, I don't, I'm not discredit in the tune, I just feel like... Oh, Steve's not happy. It was a good hour, it's a good hour of radio and it's just been cheap and you're right. It's just gone two o'clock and already. Yeah, it's started to fall apart. Well. Well. Well. Well. This doesn't. This doesn't. This doesn't. This doesn't. This doesn't this doesn't this doesn't th. I. I. I. I this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this doesn't this. I'm not. I'm not. I'm this. I'm this. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I's this. I's this. I's this. I I I's this. I I I I I. I's this. I I I. I I. I I. I. I I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not disc. I'm not disc. I'm not disc. I'm not disc. I'm not disc. I'm not, I'm not disc. I'm not disc. Old Null back on form with the old singer songwriting.

This is Little by Little and Oasis. He's a giant, he's on a giant, right? And he's a giant and he starts off little and gets bigger. Little by little, so, little by little, I would call it. Yeah, well that's what makes you a genius. Oh, Oasis, little by little. Do you want to explain it's a great tune? I'm looking at your eyes.

No, I'm still mentioned in that test. Yeah. Yeah. And what is it on Sky? What is it on Sky? Oh, Channel 864? Ricky, people are so they that yeah was it just on you is it? Oh because most but they can't see me because I'm in camouflage so it's not very interesting picture.

I got a wave there there yeah. Does anyone log on online? I don't know who what? How does the webcam look I've not ever seen on the webcam is it just kind of because normally aren't they kind of really sort of jar in? Does it just kind? Does it? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? Because? they? I? I? they? I? I? I? they? I? I? I? I? I? I they? I they? I they? I they're kind they're kind they're kind. they're kind. they're kind. they're kind. I'm not. I'm kind of. they're kind. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. they're not. they're not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. It's pictures like a digital camera? It's every 15 seconds it updates. You get still picture. Is it right? I see, okay. Oh it's still pictures is it? I realise that? Yeah, every 15 seconds, yeah. So they can actually see, you know, like if I was to bust some amazing dance moves, no they would just see some amazing dance moves. No, they would just see some if you did it every 15 seconds like you move they could then print them off and do like a flicker book? That would work. They could see them win meals and you know.

King Tuts. Yeah yeah all that. All that. Yeah, scissors kick. I'm running out of steam now Steve. I'm a bit tired. Are you? So I've got 50 minutes to think about Christmas kids. I don't know how you all getting here, Claire. But, Claire, you're aware of what Ricky bought his family last year, aren't you?

Oh yeah. Do you know, I am because he told me and I've completely and I've come to be forgotten. Yeah, it's extraordinary. It's extraordinary. I mean, how much thought planned went into it? Right, right, well, I was pre. So this is it, this is it. I've got a big family, okay. Well not big, but I mean they've got lots of kids. So I'm sort of youngest in my siblings and so they're, you know, they've got kids ranging from like 30 to babies. And there's about 15 of them. And you buy them all. Yeah, I'll try and get him. Ohry and get all that nice so what is it wait so I got a lift down and I thought oh what can I get I thought I thought oh I can't

give him the money I'll stop me what you know he's he's on the way down for Christmas Day all right so he's on the way down this is when he starts this is when he starts to think about buying him a gift. On you go. So I was getting a lift and, Matt the going lift down, so just before we got there I just ran across the road to the 7-Eleven, got 200 the kids worth of scratch cards. Scratch cards. Bear in mind I think you were describing the family then I noticed some of them you described as babies. Wow I mean yeah so children the gambling card but that's lovely they go from 10 each so they get to won thousands of pounds a lot of them were disappointed when they won nothing but I said kids that's the gamble that's the

risk you take when you receive a gift from me but the great thing about getting the great thing about getting some of them some the the the the the the they they they they they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were the they were they were the they were they were they were the they were their they were they their their their their they were their they were they were they were they were they were they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to their their their to their their their their their their their their their their they the great thing about getting, the great thing about getting... Some of them won! Some of them were laughing. But the great thing about getting kids hooked on gambling as a Christmas gift is it's the gift that keeps on giving. Yeah. Throughout your adult life. It gives and it takes. Exactly. I don't hand them to do them, they can distribute them as they want it. Sure. Sure. So what you can do this year, Ricky? But how are you going to top that? Yeah. 300 quids with the scratch cards. It's the most thoughtless. And the office on DVD. I think they might be getting the office on DVD. Signed. So that's already sent it up in value. So that's already the th. I they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to to the their their th. I thi thi thi to thi to thi to to to to to to tho to to to to to their tho tho tho tho to thi th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their th. th. their thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their their their their the. their their the. the. the. the. to to the. the. Oh dear. I know, that's pretty bad.

So have you seriously considered it this year? No, I'm going to go shopping. I'm going to go shopping. Yeah. If you want any help, I am the queen of shopping. Didn't you take a small roulette wheel down there, wo-you? Genuily, didn't you buy like a ruble. Oh right, and sometimes I'm the banker. I always win. Yeah, of course. I've got to learn a lesson the banker always wins. It's a valuable lesson when they lose money to me.

You should just go down this year and just say, basically I went to a casino. I put a ten pound chip on for everyone. It's the wish. You lost. You lost. You won. Yours came in. Yours came and yours was a donkey. Yeah, yeah. But Steve, what about you then? Because I mean you don't like shopping, do you? Well it's not that I don't like shopping, it's that I don't, I don't like shopping, it's I don't, I've got no ideas. You know, I'm running on empty with my parents. They don't appear as I can't appear to have any hobbies. No, I don't like food. I don't like wasting money. I don't like wasting money. I don't like wasting thap like wasting money, I don't like wasting money, I don't like wasting money, I don't like wasting money, I don't like wasting money, I don't like wasting money, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like wasting money, I don't like wasting money, I don't like, I don't like wasting money, I don't like wasting, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I don't like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I'm not like, I don't like, I'm th. I'm th. I'm to buy something practical for people, I like something which is going to last, something that's value for me. I don't like novelty gifts. No, I think novelty gifts are wrong.

I've mentioned to you that my grandparents spend all their time in bed te. So there's only so many kind of, you know, bedsocks you can buy, you know, and ointment for bed-listers and so on be you know a nice jokey present and they could probably come in useful for chewing the broccoli. Yeah. Oh do you know what would be nice? One of those, now I'll tell you when we're travel pillows so you know when you're traveling and and your head sort of falls down like no but they they travel from vertical to almost a horizontal. They're sitting up in their bed. Get on one of them beds that come up. You're not made the money. What I'm talking about? Like Thora Herd's bed. Does her feet ever touch the ground now? Do you know what I mean? No, it's literally. She goes shopping in one of those

little trollies. She goes straight into her and she's up the stair lift. She gets lowered into the bar. Yeah, it's terrible. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's lower and she's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lower. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lower. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lowered. She's lower. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lowered. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's lower. She's. She's lower. She's lower. I just lazy. I mean I tell you that but I mean... Well there's a whole I... But yeah but if you're in the kind of money that you know that Herd is on you know with her with her songs of praise and whatever else. Exactly. She was at the comedy awards last year, won't she? Well she'll give her an award she's up and says like a ground she can't the ground she can't they're So I've got no ideas, absolutely no ideas. Okay. But any suggestions are welcome, Claire. What are you going to get your family? You've already thought the true. Well, I know I've, I can't tell you because they will be listening. But they're all outside at the moment because my family are coming to meet me after the show.

And they're going to the office DVD is currently available. I actually did go and buy, I actually went and bought it myself. And I am enjoying the scripts by the way. Excellent. That's in, I love the fact that we're authors in the top 10. Yeah, we're in the top 10 best seller list. No, no, no, no, but to be fair, we're in the, we're at number seven in the paperback, non-fiction. Now I don't understand how that can be non-fiction. Yeah, because it's the transcript from a made-up show. It's not a real documentary. Exactly, yeah. But we're beating these bored people. But we're officially best-selling authors. I think that's fantastic. Which is excellent. My favorite bits are the

emails at the start. They are, they are, I mean a lot of people don't know what you're talking about Claire but if they pop them to Waters and they can sort them so they can sort them so they can sort them. Oh no. Nice I like you start. Can we have some more music now? Let's have what's the streets maybe? The best one of the year. Best of the year. This is a week becoming thee- th. This is a week. This is a week. This is a the the the the the the the the the their. This is a the the the their. This is a the their. This is a the the the the the the the the th. This is th. This is they're. This is a week. This is they're they're they're they're. This is they're. This is they're. This is they're. This is they're. This is they're. This is they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. This is. This is. This is. This is they. This is they. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's they. It's they. It's they're they're. We. We. We. We. We. We're they're they're they're they're the the they're the tune called? He's called React. Yeah, he's got from his debut, no not his fourth solo album. Not bad, not bad, not bad. I'm enjoying the tunes, no absolutely. I'm enjoying the tunes.

I'm enjoying the penultimate show before Christmas. Last message from Anders I suspect for the day. He says, I've just roasted my chestnuts over an open fire. It's a more enjoyable than listening to your show. He's pretty snappy he's Anders you know he keeps from coming you know she's shame that you know that we couldn't sort of maybe meet up with him and try and persuade him that you know he should come over to our side rather than you know come over to the side exactly yeah I thinkthink we've got him though because I mean, yeah, apparently they did this survey in America, people who loved Howard Stern listened to an average of like an hour and half a week and people who hated him listened two and a half hours a week.

Yeah, exactly. So I think he's probably more faithful a listener than some people that quite like us. You know what I mean?'ve got to listen, I'm the same with some people, I've got to listen to things that I just think are awful, I can't, you know, it's compulsive viewing. So, you know, I don't care if people listen to us because they hate it's not like us. No, as long as anything. I was actually, I was on the guy was trying to explain to the girl what you did and he said no you should check him out that they do quite well actually. Really? That's very sweet. Why was he explaining to her? She just didn't she didn't know what was happening or? I don't know I sort of as I walked by them. Have you leaving out the fact that she went oh I hate that blow no notoy. No no no not because I was I I I I I I I I I I I the the they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're leaving. I was. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're quite a comedy fan. He had some Germans laughing at him on the tube because he didn't recognise him. I, uh... You don't think of that?

What do you think of that? Obviously Ricky doesn't travel on the tube anymore. He's too rich before that. I never did. I always thought it was beneath, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, to, to, to, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thin, tho, to, to, to, to, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th just happened to be on the station was one of the posters with us so I was kind of there not realizing it was behind me and these big kind of fat German or maybe Bavarian guys it went on. Laderhose and eating sausages. Yes they were. They were. They were. And I noticed one of them kind of looked at me and they looked at me and whitted something to his friend in German you know I don't want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their their their. I'm. I'm. I'm their. I their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I. I the their and I. I. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I'm their. I'm their their. I'm their their. I'm their th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theea. And th. And thea' thea' thea' thea' their their their their their their their know I don't want to try and do an impression I shang why snash no I snagneged

that's freaking goggle I think that no no no no you're thinking it means it doesn't mean that right okay it me it means a rough translation elegant boy right okay yeah and so anyway he pointed out he pointed out the poster and uh and he's made brink he'll got a great sense of you with the German that's a slanky piss and speak. And his mate burst into laughter. And then we put up... Well they've got a great sense of you with the German. That's the thing. But we rumbled onto the next station and the poster was in exactly the same place and this time they tap the shoulder of someone else on the train and pointed me out. And that person also like. An Italian? Yeah. Was the French was they're a blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo Was the French? Was the French? Was the British, was a blo blo blo blo blo blo blo blo bloo? Was the British? Was the British? Was the British? Was a bloke was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke was a bloke? Was a bloke? Was a bloke was a bloke was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloomed. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a blo. Was a bloke. Was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke with a bloke? was a bloke? was a bloke? was a was there a bloke with a bearer that almost darts on the other side? Was the United, did you get on the United Nations Express? Just, oh I imagine that.

Yeah, and it was, it was, you see the freak, look at this flaky giggle eye. Right, whereas, I know, I love the man that before you were at least pretending to be speaking German, now this is an Italian with thi th and now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now, now th and now, now th and now thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that thi, thi, thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, just, just, just, just English. You've not even disguised the insult there. Oh dear. Oh, that would be lovely. Try to try and solve me in other cod languages. You could bring Europe together if they just, like instead of Esperanto, don't that, there was just one common language. Language is a true-Ingo-Ill. is you, maybe representing England on the Eurovision Song Contest. That would be great, me. With a self-pen tune.

Should I do that? That would be magnificent. It's got to be worth thinking about. Just about everyone being the same. Yeah, just about people being equal. Everyone, not every, and also mentioning the Euro. Yeah. Yeah. He's doing that, I like all different cheeses. I like all like all all all all all all all all the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the music pop, yeah, the baby bell, and the cheddar.

I'm not fluent French. I'm La Grande fromage. Yeah, I'd be lovely, won't it? And they'll be there, all in their different uniforms. Well, every line could be maybe in a different language. Yeah, and what would I wear? I'd wear, I'd wear a kilt. But you'd also have on your head one of those kind of big, what are they called those big furry hats that beefyers are whatever?

Or what would you do? Is it kind of a Busby or something? A Busby? Yeah. Where one of those? Or maybe a policeman's helmet. Or a bobbie's helmet with the kilt. Yeah, I'd wear the policeman's helmet under the kilt so they just thought I was really enjoying the show. Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Excellent. We talk, well I think we talked for about three minutes

without having to mention some kind of genitalia. Yeah, we should celebrate by playing one of my tunes of the year. Really? What one is it? You two, Electrical Storm. Oh I know you of the year. I had to pick one. That's great. And I do still feel slightly guilty about dissing them throughout the 90s. But you know... Don't feel guilty if you didn't like him. I like the English stuff. I'm loving what they're doing in the Nauties. I think you're a bigger man than them all his charity work. You're more of a noble bigger. Yeah, stop bothering the Pope, he's busy. Exactly.

Rick, my mother always should say to me that you should write and thank your aunties and so on for their gifts. And I feel like we should take a moment out, just to thank all the people that have emailed or written in the year because we don't, basically, we're basically, we're, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically, basically for me, you go there. You're like my secretary when it comes, you protect me from like people who... The insults and so on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are there any insults? Oh, there's plenty, yeah. Do you have to protect him, really?

Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, there's lots of things that everyone thinks that's enjoyable. So what people think I'm quite an annoying little Pratt do they? That's not the word they use but you're near enough there? Really? Yeah. Yeah, they didn't say Pratt but you're on the chat and let's hear some more great ads as I'm still not sure what mobile phone I should get the wife for Christmas. Well, maybe this will that me out. Excell.

That is a lovely picture. Just having fun with the webcam. That's lovely. Oh, sorry. Yeah, we're just playing with the web cam. The webcams are a lovely picture. That's lovely. Right, um, get the ladies happy.

That was Feeder. That was Feeder. Great. Yeah, no, that's one of my favorite tracks of the year as well. Feeder, you've enjoyed them. God, it's gone quickly. It's only a quarter of an hour ago. Yes. Carl will be back next week for our Christmas tooah. that we've got nothing planned there's no reason why should we be in Bonanza. No, yeah. Oh dear.

But I'll have some kind of festive game for us maybe or a festive tribute. Well we've introduced a couple of new games. I mean he's struggling with rockbusters which we've missed this week. Educating Ricky he thinks there's nothing out there. All he could find was a parrot and a dog in a car wash. Yeah, you can't find any more interesting stuff. Still a little upset that we told him about intelligent crabs and babies forcing their way out. Yeah, we stitched him up last week by telling him some, what we claimed were facts. All right, because I was like shopping so I missed it. Right, yeah, well, you know, you can always sort of believes anything that's weird and wonderful. We just made up this story. I said, I said, two body builders, I got married, I their, I six months or seven months she was in bed asleep

and she woke up in terrible agony where the baby was born a bodybuilder had forced its way out of the vagina and was pulling her along by the unboliced cord and intelligent crabs and stuff like this and he was genuinely disappointed. Yeah that they were but he got a new idea. What I'm gonna do is tell him three things. Yeah. One of which is made the the the th th th th. thi thi thi thithey were in the new idea. What I'm going to do is tell him three things, one of which is made up and ludicrous and two incredible facts. And it's called, that's Ricky Diculous. Brilliant. So he has to go, number three is Ricky Diculous. It's a winner. Yeah, yeah. Carl always comes up with the title first. You don't have to work

the game show out from the title. Have you started work on there? That's Rickidiculous. Yeah, I've started work on that's Rickidiculous. No, I've thought I've thought of a couple of things. It's great. It's so much fun fun to say, isn't it Rickidiculous. Yeah, so, yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's that's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's that's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's, that's, that's great. Basically. Yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. Yeah, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's great. that's great. that's great. that's great. that's great. that's great. thiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's great. th. that's great. the that's great. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi. thi. that's great. that's great. thi. that's thi. thi not like Bluff. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, we've had Oasis Street, we've had YouTube, we have some cracking tunes. Can we get away with playing Nelly? Hot in here? I think it's a cracking tune? I think, I just think again, you know, I'm not interested in what genre you think it fits into or whether you think it's cool or because kids like it you're not supposed to like it. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. to. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to be. to be. to be. to be. to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to. the the to get to. to. to. their. to. to. to. to their. their. their their their. We're their. We're their. We're their. We're their. We're their. We're their. We're their. We're their. We. We. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. We. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. We're the. We're tode. We're toda. We're toda. We're toda. We're toda. We're toda. We're today. We're today. We I think we should try it here. But before that Rick could I just play one track we did play it much earlier in the year. It's from that album Son of Evil Reindeer by a band called the Raindeer Section and this is a cracking little tune I just think it's beautiful and nice to hear it. Oh beautiful Marry it then. Nice isn't isn't it? Yeah it makes it makes to wish. It. It to wish. It. It to wish. It to wish. It to wish. It to wish. It to wish. It to wish. It to wish. It to wish. It to wish. It's to wish. It's to wish. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. Son. Son. Sonn. No. No. Okay. That's called Grand Parade from the album Son of Evil Reindeer by the Reindeer section. It's nice tune. It's one of my favourite.

the year. It's nice. It's my pleasure. Clare. Just big highlights of the year for you. sort of things have you enjoyed this year? I mean musically maybe or maybe so few for you know. Um I've enjoyed that band. The the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the and the Rapture sure and the electric six remember last time I sat in for Carl we played danger danger high voltage yeah one of the first that was the first time I've heard that we played it every hour because you're you're kind you're sort of a pioneer you're musically on XFM you're well I remember the early days of I the world I'll try to the to the the the to to to to the to to to to to the to the to the to the to the the to to to the the the the to the the to the to the to to to to to to to to me me me music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th th the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. I I th remember the early days of Idle Wild? I'll take that back as well, teasing you about them playing the Pindu and Wakefield stuff. That latest single I love and the video is great as well. I'm a big fan of I the I know you're great, brilliant, yeah, yeah. So yeah it's been a good year, I haven't been out so many gigs obviously because I do the evening show. the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I's the the the th. I's the the that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest, I'm the latest, I'm the latest, I'm the latest, I'm the the the latest, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi things things things things, I' things things, I' things, I'm things, I'm thia' thia' thia' the the thi the the sessions with which I'm doing the best of next week quick plug for the show next week best of the sessions so yeah low points low points what look low points do not mine are what poverty and more and I

always hate it I always hate it no you know you didn't say that I was gonna say I was gonna say the streets or something and I and you didn't care about people dying so don't try and you're in house you like poverty you like poverty you like poverty I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th the the the thee thee theeeeee the the they. they. the they the the the the the the the the the people dying so don't try and do it. I'm thinking specifically... You like that? You like Poffy? Oh you like poverty in salvation? That's interesting. That's interesting. Near Christmas time. What a horrible? You hope kids go lame? You're evil. That's terrible things. Nelly. Nelly. Cheaky little bit in Nelly there. It's not a great thing. You don't get that on XfM do you do. That. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. You. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the. You. It's the. You. It's the. It's the. It's that's that's the. It's that's. It's. You. It's XFM 1.9. We don't care. Springsteen and Nelly, you don't get that on XFM do you do? Usually. No, indeed. We don't live by the rules still. Absolutely. As I was listening to you then, talk, you got bored? No, no, it reminded me of an email that someone sent in saying that they listen online, but because ofters all the way through. You're going to point out that is the way I talk. No, but they said it only happens when you talk. And I think they correctly identified that it's not the computer at fault.

Well that's why you do sound like someone. You do sound like someone. Because I've definitely lost my looks and I already slur. Yes. So there was's just part of your charm. Well, listen, that's been a lovely two hours for me. I've enjoyed it, I have the listeners have enjoyed it. I've enjoyed it, I've enjoyed it. I've enjoyed it, yeah.

Well, I didn't really care if you were going to do it again. Don't butry it to press to play now a Christmas song for the lovely Christmas ladies. I don't say it's so much Christmassy, but it's one of the tunes I heard this year that really stuck out from me. Well, you were a four, you've been Merris you said. You just showed up that there's no planning. This is a free CD on the cover of a magazine. I just think it's brilliant. It's a lamb chopp, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it's a th, it, it's a th, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thi, though, thrown, thrown, thrue, thrown, thrown, thr-a, th, thi, thr-a, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, tie, try, try, try, try, try, try, try and a try and a try and a try and a try and a try and a try. try, try. Well, try, try, tube. I'll say what a bloody good man as well. That's true enough. So we'll leave them with this. It's Backstreet Girl Lamb Chop and see you next week for our final festive show. Thanks very much. Embarrassing. It's something embarrassing.