The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E21 (January 11, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

Travis, Lovell Come Through on XFN, 104. Rook a true, Ricky Joveys, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington, etc. I've got some great tunes actually lined up. Excellent. I've brought in some Amy man, some Neil Young. I play my favourite clash track. What have you got for Steve? I got a dynamite hip-hop tune, the roots which I think you enjoy. I've got a little bit of Johnny Mitchell maybe swing that on later. Oh and I didn't. I didn't even brought into Joanie Mitchell it's a good job I didn't. Yeah exactly. I wouldn't make any

difference. No you would have played yours and yeah yeah yeah go away with a free way. Carl what have you got lined up for us as the producer? Right well rock buster again? Has he? Yeah, another week off? No, I didn't have a full week off, I had three days off because I was working all over Christmas and still didn't stop working, preparing stuff. You've got a nice load of prizes there that have sorted out, I had to come in especially to sort that out.

Rockbusters will continue. Did you write full through the drawers up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up, the drawers, up, thrawers, thrawers, thraurs, thraurs, thraurs, thua-up, th. thua-up, Gold instead of dating? Yeah. Rockbusters were still doing that. Yeah, you're bigging it up. He's bigging it up. Yeah, still doing that. We got that. Last week, we sort of changed educating Ricky a bit. Just a little bit. Don't say we. I don't want to be incriminated, well, we changed it in a sense that rather than giving you too much information about different things, it's hard to sort of keep it all in. I'm giving you sort of information on one thing, so last week. No, because some of your stuff was a little bit too intense. We got, my favorite story was there, the blind girl Like last week war related stories?

Yeah it was war do you think of that then? It was three things. And it was the French battle going over the top was John's got a moustache, which you think was ambiguous because someone might have said that anyway. A lot you've remembered it, so it's working. So we're doing that and last week... Lo, loads of French people have just gone to war who were listening to this. You said you wanted to learn some science this week. Did I?

Yeah. So the title this week for that is, Acid, I would sort you some science out. Acid. Acid. Acid, because that's... How long did that take come to me and go, Carl's the funniest man, they absolutely love him right. But I think we're only seeing half of it, right? If we can get him on television, his face then when he's told me that title was like a child at Christmas. Yeah. It was, it was, it was so proud of it, he was excited what I was going to, it was brilliant. It's a bit like when a child's drawn a picture in art class, you know you've got a sticker on the fridge, but you basically think it's crap.

Yeah, yeah. It's very much like that. All right, Carl? Is that good? Yes. So we'll be doing that. Do we need that? Do we need them?

Yeah. Have you got another one? Oh yeah, do we need snails? Because I know you're not a fan of snails, are you? Well, after a bit of research I found some good stuff out about like the sleep for 13 years, some of them. So we'll be looking into that later. Yeah, I know. We've got Ritual, which is something that I told you about. Yeah, well last weeks was brilliant. It's good to have a flathead in India. That's brilliant. Yeah. Well I'm going. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the have a flathead in India. That's brilliant. Yeah. Well I'm going to play with my favourite Smith tracks. Can I just make a request? So I'd quite like if you've got time to bring back just for one week only, White Van Carl because there's some quite interesting topics this week. Oh, there's things happening in the world. There's some things happening there is. There is a light that never goes out. Someone's left. Someone's left.

Someone's left one of those little things in here. It's brilliant, isn't it? It's amazing. What? What are they called those things? I just, I imagine that, just, there, I was thinking of being in the front row at Morosey concert and going, oh just can I just play a lot? They are brilliant. I don't know what kind of saying that is. I don't know. It's only used for when Kenneth Williams sees someone undressing. Yeah. That's the only time that is used used thing. I thing. It thing. It is thi. It was thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin they's they was thin' thin' thi they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they was they was they was they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thin. I was thin. I was thin. I was just just just thin. I was just the. I was just thin. I was just just the. I was just thin. I was just the. I was just thin. I was just the. I was the only time that is used that noise.

It's like it was specially created for the carry-on films. Yeah, we need, I don't know what it is but we need something when I walk in and see someone changing. Well what about this? There is a light that never goes out by the Smiths. I found Carl up in the week, yeah, and I I said what are you doing? He went, well, even though it's one of my days off, I'm just doing some research on the web. I went, I found anything, he said, yeah I'm doing science. And then he said, you can get wigs for dogs in Tokyo. That's his scientific fact. And I went, what do you mean, dogs if they need a wig? I said if they need a wig, what, dogs go in board? And he went, like this is fine to him, he went, it's a stressful city tookia.

The world's all right with Carl. He's always got an explanation. I've only ever seen him confused once when in Edinburgh he looked out of his window one day and he saw a bloke putting a parking ticket on some rubbish. saw a bloke putting a parking ticket on some rubbish. Yeah. And that genuinely confused him. It couldn't work out, could you? It's a bit weird, isn't it? And the woman breast-feeding her 8-year-old child, you didn't like, did you? I don't like that. But what's the name? Animals with Wigs? I kind of thought, after I put the phone down to you, kind of thought about it, yeah, it's a bit a bit a bit a bit a bit like the aging pop group? No but when you think have you ever seen like a bald pet?

No? It's weird. What do you mean? Because my mom we used to get through loads of cats because we lived there. Oh God you started early to die in it? What do you mean? It's any 10 past? What are you doing? It's only 10 past one. What are you doing? Running a restaurant? We lived on... Oh God, what do you mean? No, we lived on like a main road.

Oh yeah. So we used to get through a lot of them. There is. Stop wasting money, you know, it's not. Stop wasting money, not wasting cats! Right. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. thathea. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. the. to. to. the. Oh cat that was ill all the time and he's just bag of nooes probably yeah I'm terrified to witch house. Oh god bloody owl rung don't let me go to the Pilkingtonnes. For some reason it kept being sick all the time. That is nice so my man thought I've had enough of this and she shaved it. Whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Now I know you're not vets in your family, but what correlation did your mom think there was between you being sick and shaving it? Because it kept being sick and it was a pain to wash because it kept getting caught. So she wanted a dry wipe cat? Why did you just varnish it? What? It's weird. So now he's cold and sick? No, but no, not I mean not all of it, she left sort of the back half but sort of from its waist sort of... I love that! Shaving it's sickyidious. It was a weirdest looking thing. I mean, normally I like cats.

I'm always like giving yours a stroke on the head and that. The soon as she did that it was like, oh, yeah. Poor thing! So now it's sick, cold and hated? Yeah. I love, I love, I, I, I think it must have been taking the Mick out of it constantly. It's just making things worse. Did it get, I'm hoping that it got run over and was put out of its misery? No, I think it got all right that one. Or is that the...

Yeah, it did get run over. I did. I did that. Oh, God. Oh, oh, dear. How many cats do you say you've got through? I'd say whilst I was living at home. I mean it's still on the increase even though I'm not there. So whilst I was there, probably five. Oh what?

Oh, and were you upset each time or you just got used to it? It's one of them things in it, like I've said before, when you first see something it's a bit of a shock do you know what I mean it's like the elephant man or whatever yeah first time you see him it's that sort of oh look at that you remember the first time you saw Steve no not be funny do you remember the but the first yeah but I've said this before it's always then you get used to how people look and you don't no no I'm gonna pass I'm gonna you got to play a record because they see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see it it it the the the the the the the th th I the, I'm gonna you got to play a record. Because that's... he sleeps. No but I've got used to it. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up, the new today. Let You Down. Gold Rush on XFM 104.9, Rickets of A's, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. Brilliant. Rick, I was in, I don't know whether I should tell you this, because it might rock you to the very core. But I was in an Indian restaurant the other night, and you've not seen the film, have you seen the film? I haven't, no. Right. In the film, I don't. Right. the film, I, I, I, I, I, I, right. In the film, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. the the th. I, I, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't. I, I, I, I don't. I, I don't. I, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't know. Don't, don't know. Don't, don't, don movie star, rather like... She's the most famous movie, yeah, and she's in a restaurant having dinner with Hugh Grant and she overhears some people in the restaurant slagging her off and saying, you know, she's a slapper,

probably all actors are, all actresses are. And she's sort of stewing on it and she says, no, I won't let's say, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, they. And, the, the, over, the, the, over, over, over, over, over, over, the, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, their, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, over, to. And, over, over, over, over. And, over. And, over, over. And, over. And, over. And, over. And, over. And, over. And, over. And, over. And, over. And, over. the the the the the the the the the the the there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there, over, over, over, over, over. there. there. there. there. there. there, over, over, over, over, over, over, over. there, over, over out she goes and says something to them and of course their faces drop they can't believe it's her. I was in a Indian restaurant near the night and they were slagging you off Rick. Well they were saying is they were going out Ricky Jose, the thing about Ricky Jovey, is he's just like the character he plays. It's just like David Brent in real life. go over and have a word and say you know you're you're partially right but but I couldn't I didn't know what to do I didn't know I didn't know what to say I couldn't what can I do I couldn't really go over there and get into a run I want to say what do you mean that I'm like him I use his face in his vocal cords but I mean I can't help that but I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know where I don't know where I don't know where they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't know they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't know they don't know they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to th to to th they they they they're they they they they they received it from somewhere or they've read it or some of these, it's just, I don't know, I mean,

I can't really be annoyed with they're just wrong. But it's very weird. It's like being annoyed at a vicar believing in God. I can't get with him. I just don't believe... But because obviously they didn't recognize me, it's rather like, you know, you, you, they, they, they, they, th. It, they, th. It, th. th. But, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. But, I th. But, I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I th. I th. I th. I, I, I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thr. I thr. I thr. I tha. I tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. I tha. I tha. I can saying about you it's the closest thing you can get to that you can hear what people are saying about your friends but why don't you want to get him around you go he is yeah what do you think of the other fellow sometimes with him yeah that tall fellow he's good any yeah I know it's a actually because on the occasions I do get to get a the to be a the the the the the their because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because I I I I I I I I I actually actually I'd never get any cool fans. I just get the nerds. I get the real nerdlingers. I don't get beautiful women coming out. You're putting them off though, you've got to take what you can. Well. You'll have nothing. But this girl

came up the other day and she said, hey are you that guy who's involved with the office? I went, oh, yes, I am. She went, she went, my boy. My. My. My. My. My. My. the boy. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you, you, you're, you're, you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you. I. I. I. I. I, you, you, you. Beautiful, you. Beautiful, you. Beautiful, you. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. the, you. Beautiful. I. the, you. I. Beautiful. I. I. I. I. I. I. Beautiful. th. I. Beautiful. I. Beautiful. Beautiful. th. th. th. th. Beautiful. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th going on, but there was a guy who was in H&V and he was working on the tel and he he was working on the tel and he saw me and he said, uh, would you sign this DVD? I went, oh no problem, I said, and I was trying to make a try and I said, oh, and I was he he he he he and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he was, he was, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been, he was, been, he was, he was, he, he, he, he, he, he, he tell me that, I don't know that. What did he mean that they didn't like it? I said, I said, what, you would have been bringing it back? No, I think it's glitches. He said, they've been bringing it about, I said, what was the problem? He said, they didn't really like it. No! Yeah, some of they didn't, want the money back! And they just wanted to get rid of it. They didn't want it in the house. I don't want this rubbish in the house. Oh, but we still get the money for it, do we? We still get the money. But do you know that talked to that other time? Again, because I'm people that, people they're in a record shot. There's a stack. There's a there, there, their, their, their, their, their, th. There, th. There, th. There, th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't th. I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't this. I don't this. I don't this. I don't this. I don't this. I don't this. I don't this. I don't th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. Don't. Don't. Don't, they. Don't want, they. Don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, I don't want, that. I think it's shit, he's made when I agree.

Really? And of course again, I was, no, what could I do? I couldn't say anything. I couldn't pipe up and go, well, that's sort of... Well, I like these, I like the fact that you're always hearing these loud vocals. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. one's always slagging it off. But it's partly that, but also because I keep standing hanging out by stacks of off and screen CDs. Oh dear. We're wearing a t-shirt in the picture of you and me on. Yeah, that I'd do it. What we got to play, Carl? Something's Steve wants.

Well actually I must dedicate this to someone who's emailed in. I mentioned earlier that I was going to play some of the Roots and Joe from Peter is very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very to.... the to. to. to. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. Wea. We're wearing the te. Wea. We're wearing te. Wea. We're wearing te. We're wearing te. te. We're wearing to to to to to to to to to So this is not from the current Routes album sadly which I've not fully absorbed yet and therefore don't feel I can make a decision on which track to play but maybe that will come up. That's a sort of effort and thought we put into our you know picking music. Exactly. I had these cassettes in them a bag from last week. Anyway this is from the album Things Fall Apart it's Feer the Routes featuring Erica Erica Erica Erica Erica Erica Erica Erica the Roots and you've got me. I love it, yeah. Featuring Erica Badoo, that's the Roots and you got me. Good, I like that one.

Yeah, you've enjoyed that. Yeah, I love it, yeah. Well, it's coming up to 1.30, and so it's time for Rockbusters. It's a structured, it's a structured show, it's a new leaf. This show in the new year is going to be structured. Set pieces, hitting our marks, do you know what I mean? There'd be time checks, weather checks, quick cold out. If you're driving, careful on that. So do the prices. What check for traffic? Like if it's bad? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, well again an arbitrary selection of what are those politicians doing? Was that XFM News?

Yeah! Right, what have we got? So we've got, for those that are a fan of the movie Donnie Darko, which a lot of people rave about this year, a sort of weird teenage movie, then there's a sort of a sweatshirt it's actually quite nice to do you. It's not bad at all. It's medium, so if you're a bit of a bloater, don't bother to apply, unless you've got a friend already. We've also got here a Graham Norton video, Certificate 18. So please don't phone up unless, or sorry, don't email in unless you're above the age of 18.

Yeah. And that's, I think, the best of his TV show. Yeah. Look forward to that. It's a big stiff cocker video. Thanks very much. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We've also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's thea. thea. thea. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. ththat. It's a big stiff video that, isn't it? It's a big stiff Cocker video. Thanks very much. I meant the bird. Yeah. There's also a fairly mediocre British wartime thriller, Enigma, which a lot of people, it was hyped for a while, but it's actually interminable, I've seen it. The first series here of the Kumar's at number 42 on DVD. I think that's award-winning, so that's available as well. We've got two CDs by the look of it. We've got Pulp's Greatest Hits, which I don't think sold very well.

And so presumably they are giving that away. And Johnny Cashie's current album, American Four, the man comes around. There's some good cover versions there. Again, another big sell sell sell sell sell're really pushing this. Yeah it's quite kooky. Johnny Cash here does covers of things including Personal Jesus. All right by DePeshmo. We've got Bridge Over Travelled Water, his version of that, Desperado and anyway it's not bad, that's probably the best to treat in that boat. Right. I'm assuming there's some questions. there's there's there's there's some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some questions. That's some some some some some some some some questions.

questions there Carlo. Yeah, right here we go. If you're a new listener the way it works, I give you a cryptic clue and some initials and it sort of makes up a band. It makes more sense when you hear it, I reckon. Wow, not really. Although people do get it, I just worry about the state of our listeners. Go on. Right, so there's three of them, you email in, Ricky. Ricky the email only. I repeat. Well, the email in. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the state, the the the the the the the the the the the state, the state, the state, the state, the state, the state, the state. The the state. The the state. The the state. The the state. The the state. The the state. The the state. The the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that..............................................at at UK. Email only. I repeat, it is email only. We don't have that easy to be out of the phone. Yeah. Okay, here we go then. Number one. There's normally two easy ones and a difficult one. Sure. No, here we are. Number one. Don't argue with him. He ain't going to change his mind. Don't argue with him. He ain't going to change his mind. Yeah that's AA. That's yeah, so that's the first one. He's not going to change his mind. Um, what do you mean, um, you've got them written out of you?

Yeah, I'm just thinking about what the answer is, so I didn't write the answer the answer to the answer. Oh, fuck. Don't worry, they's only three. I know it's weird, isn't it? No, it's not weird, it's incompetent. Right, the second one, anyway, I hope you get this. I hope you get this. You know then and tell us the answer. This is a shambles, right? Hold on a minute. Go on a minute. You don't know those? I'm sure it'll come to me once I see it on email.

What do you mean? Once they get it, you'll agree with them? I'll know if it's the one I had down as the answer. This is brilliant. Imagine Jeremy Paxman doing that again. Yeah, you're the University of times. Is that right? Right.

So that's that one. else. P. But you're confused. I don't understand how you can be confused. Yeah. The third one. I'll have to put that woman in the oven. And that's A.B. All right, quickly give us to them again. Right. So the first one, don't argue with him. He ain't, he ain't going to change his mind. That's A's AA. He always gets what he wants and doesn't worry about anyone else, that's P, and I'll have to put that woman in the oven, A-B. All right. Ricky, Doc Jovee at XFM. co-doch, UK. I'm going to play a classic track now by Neil Young, Alabama. That's beautiful. Beautiful. Neil Young, Alabama. Carl is still confused. He's waiting, he's biting his fingers, waiting for an email, to

tell him the answer to the clue he made up but can't get. I love that as an experiment. As a psycho, I mean, that would confuse psychologists, that you come up with something that you can't get. It's brilliant. Yeah, you came up with the question. You don't know the answer. And you expect them to, but you can't, and you made it up. Look at your face, how confident, play some adverts. Thanks to yonder. Honestly, Juan by Billy Corga's new band there.

Um, ex-smashing pumpkins. Sounds a bit like them. But I like it. It's all right, not bad. I like it. You exist to know Rick, incidentally that someone's got the right answer. So Carl's brilliant. Well, I'm Carl.

You're a fool. Right. Well, um, talking of which, it's a long time since we've had any white van Carl. For those that don't remember this particular hot feature, we basically asks Carl some of the questions that are asked of a white van driver in the sun. They always have this on Saturday afternues. Anyway, here's the first well. They're not fascinating, Carl, but I'm just interested on your take. Yeah. What the the the the th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. Well, w wi? W. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. Well, thi. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. th. Well. Well. Well, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tole. tole. tole. tol fascinating, Carl, but I'm just interested on your take, really? Yeah. What do you make of Silla Black quitting blind date after her husband sent a message from

beyond the grave? You familiar with this story? Yeah, she went to see a medium and supposedly her husband passed on information through the medium which was incredibly vague but persuaded her to quit live on air. Well, it's about time, isn't it? If even dead people are saying, enough's enough. I'll tell you what though, talking about ghost and that, do you know how I'm into him? Yeah. Right. How weird do you think this is, right? Well it's not true, before you say it, play a record. No, go on, go on. Right, it's this woman, I don't even know if it's ghost really, it's just a bit weird. Sure. There's this woman and she's, well she's not a woman, she's a kid. Sure. Okay. Sure. She's walking down and a woman comes up, cycling past, right?

The woman on the bike looks at the kid absolutely terrified, right? Got a really scary face on her. The kid's thinking, why is she doing that? So anyway, she thinks nothing of it, goes, you know, I think she was playing in the park, whatever, goes and there's a nice day. About 15 years later, she's, I don't know, I think she was going to work on a bike. She's riding her own bike. Riding her own bike, cycling down the road, looks at the kid. That's the thing that happened like 15, 20 years ago. It's her on the bike looking at her as a kid. Right. Not another child. No.

So it's her. She's seen herself. Carl. I mean, I don't know where to start. Firstly, where's this information come from? But I mean, why do you ever can't? I mean, I don't know what part of that you think can be true. I don't know what to say.

What are you talking about? A bit weird though, isn't it? But it's not true. It didn't happen, nothing happened like that. She said it did. Who? Who? Who?

Who? ? ? ? Did she stop and to to herself or did she write on by and think that's a bit weird? There's me as an eight-year-old. I won't stop, I'll be late for work. Yeah, yeah. If I'm late again, the boss said he'd be in trouble. Yeah. And where's this information? Was it happened to someone you know? No. You overheard it on the bus? No. It was in the 14. It's 14. It's 14. It's the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. I. I. I. th. I. I's. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It well that's the answer. We've got to the bottom of that.

Right, good. Um, brilliant. Now what do you make of David Blunkett accusing gangster rappers of making kids believe guns are cool? It's a hot topic there, Carl. I imagine you've got some strong opinions. He's saying what? He's saying basically that all this rap music is advocating gun use and violence against people and he's very worried about it.

No. Okay. Alright, next one. Have you thought about going into politics? Because I'll tell you this they wouldn't be able to argue with you really in the house as a pilot? Where would they start? Yeah, my fellow is an idiot. No, but violence has always been about and I ain't like cowboys Indians, they didn't have PlayStation's and two-pack then, and there was still violence. What do you mean? In the Wild West? Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

So you can't really blame it on stuff. It'll always happen. That's, you know, that's the world, and it buffoonery. I didn't hear what he said. He just said there's always been violence. You know, it's sort of like, you know, dinosaurs, look at them. They cause a lot. And then he went too far and made himself sound up an idea. But I'm just saying. It's always happened, it always will. Yeah. Don't, you know what we should do. should we should all get on our bike, go and find ourselves when we're little and go be careful what do you do in life? Oasis, Supersonic, still good, still good, still as good as ever.

Still good, on XFM, 104. Ricky Joveys, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. Do you be please, Rick, Rick, Anderson? Dickers! Dickers! Dianderson. Oh, what are you doing? Dindow?

He's probably our biggest fan. A little didler. Exactly. He is emailed in, how's ever. Ricky, your show fascinates me. How do you maintain such levels of senseless drivel? That's from Randers, from Randy Anders. Little Diddle! Oh! Oh!

Oh! So, uh, that's great. I get a buzz. I was disappointed last week where he didn't, asking why he's didn't, he didn't, he didn't respond last week, no, it's a shame. Probably busy. I don't believe you had something better to do. Well, I wouldn't have the... I can't believe that of anyone. No, when you've got this sort of level, intense the t Still, you know, doing stuff for this show and that, but... Not really. Not really.

Just doing nothing and bought a place. I was looking at kitchens. Yeah. Weighing some of them up. Checking them out. And also, ordered a sofa. Nice sort of, comfy, sort of leather of leatherish. Oh a leatherish. Oh I don't I don't like leather sofas. Yeah but what are you picturing? A leather sofa? I

just don't I just squeaky and it's no this isn't like it. But I want a really old sinky into fabric I want a sofa that is as comfortable as a bed do you know I mean? Well if itthat is as comfortable as a bed. Do you know what I mean? Well if it was acceptable you'd have a bed in your lounge, wouldn't that was allowed without seeming like you were sort of elderly or just... That would be good and I'd have a drip going in, yeah, sort of like with nutrients because you know I can't be bothered to chew. No you can't, a sort of lager with sort of vitamins. And then one going from a knob down to the toilet. To the lower trail, and with all the remote controls.

And that would be amazing. To be fair, you're almost there, Rick. I've certainly seen the toilet tubing. My dad's bed, right? My dad would never change his chair, when we'd try and get rid of it, because it would just just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, the, th, to be, to be, to be, to be, tho, tho, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, th, tho, and, tho, and, tho, tho, and, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to throw, and, and, it because it would just fit to him and it would just be absolutely dilapidated right and sounds like he's got the head like his own chair in the length yeah his own chair right and then uh and his bed right when they had separate rooms towards the end and his bed right it was just it had it for years and it was a big dip it was just like a spoon a spoon in the middle where it was just like you know he'd have a fog in a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their chair their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. their their their their their their their their it's just it was concave and my mom he used to just vacuum it out. Well the little bits are like you know he'd have a fag in bed or he do his roll-ups in bed and and uh... Oh good it's like that bed it's curved you know

he goes it means I can't fall out. That's the idea it was like in a hammock that's great. That kind of been good for his back. Well I don't think it mattered to the end the the the the the the the the the th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. the th th th th the the the. Oh the. Oh the the. Oh the. Oh the the the. Oh the the the. Oh the the the. Well thin the the little the. Well. Well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I the little th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's the the the the the little the little the the the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little the little bit, I'd the little the little bit the little the little the. Oh, been good for his back. Well, I don't think it mattered towards the end. Yeah, so a hammock would be, I really would love a hammock or anything. A big beanbag would be good, wouldn't it? With a tele. A beanbag as big as a bed, it'd be amazing. Yeah, but this is still the. The weird thing is, right? Do you know, I've mentioned before about certain things that I just write, like your hand, five fingers is just enough, right? One more. The sex tits. It ruined stuff. Yeah, one one less than you, you know, saying about drying, you're, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you know, you, you know, you, you, you, you know, you know, you, you know, you know, you, you, you know, you know, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you, you, you know, you know, you know, you know, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th and that. Right? And the weird thing is, right?

I think that's what nature had in quiet. No, like, my mom and dad, right, they moved to this little house, right? And they had loads of furniture that they collected over the years without chucking out, and they've moved to this small house, right? And they had this double bed bed, their their their their their the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, th.. And, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, this double bed and that was for like you know when friends come around and that they can stay there but the problem was he wanted to sort of put these wardrobes in the bedroom right right that went on either side of the bed sort of wrapped around the bed yeah but because the room was so I can't sort that out yeah and he sawed the bed he sawed the thold the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ed the bed. He sawed the bed. He sawed the whole thing so you've got like your mattress, your bed and everything. Well he just sliced some off. Like a big sandwich,

just cut the crust off. How much is that would you say? About eight inches? About eight inches? But hold on, but that won't work. Because it'll all fall out? And then what happened to the springs and all the supports and stuff? It's just collapsed. He out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out. It didn't the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. too. too. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the what happened to the springs and all the supports and stuff, it just collapsed. He didn't all come out and that. I mean it's not the comforest bed. But the weird thing is, he did it, and even though it's only like that eight inches or whatever, it totally ruined it. It's like... Yeah, well of course it would. No, but what do you think I mean? uncomfortable? Not even that though, just the fact it's that little bit shorter. It's like, God for two people this is this is hard work now. This is like you haven't got enough room even though it's only eight inches. Why did it, why did he build the wardrobes first without measuring putting the... I think he did

all that and then thought oh it'll easily fit in there and it didn't so so he thorough the th th th th th, I only 8 inches... Did he use an electric, one of those electric sauls? Yeah. And I was just, presumably there was just kind of material and wood just flying everywhere. What did they deal with the legs? Did he have to move the legs in a bit? He moved the legs. Looking at it, right, the quilt on it, you wouldn't know, and I, and I, I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I was, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and, and, and, and I was like, and, and I was like, and, and, and, and, and, presumably, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, presumably, there, there was, there, there was, presumably, presumably, there, there, there was, presumably, presumably, presumably, presumably, there, presumably, there was, presumably, there was, there was just, there was just, there was just,, he's like, you know, sleep well. Got up in the morning after having about 45 minutes sleep and said, something not right with that. He was what do you are your father's son, aren't you?

I said, he was not right. And he said, oh, well, I said, he's not right. And he said, oh, well, I had to shorten it, that and there was a big kerfuffle my man was saying look you have our bed then and we'll sleep in that one I mean I was like so that yeah yeah it's ruined you know some idea so maybe you cut it so there was a big debate going on about where we should sleep and I was saying look you know you know I only come and see you like every couple you know I'm a probably you know I the the old one the that would be the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that the that the that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the something? Well, you know, I mean the Osbournes is not on at the moment. The Pilkingtons. That would be extraordinary.

Oh, oh, can we film it? Oh, that's brilliant. Is anyone from Channel 5 listening to this show? Or Bravo? Yeah. The Pilkington's. Play a record? What do you want to play?

Do you want you play th you play th you you want to play? Do you fancy playing 20 years? Uh, what, have we got anything? I don't know, something that was sent into you maybe? Oh yeah, no, I'd tell you, yeah, I'd like to play this. Yeah, Bronze's Fox. A band from Bristol, my neck of the woods. Always working. He's always working. Coldplay the scientist, Dexxxxxx and 1.4.

I'm a good raise with Steve Merchant and Carl Bilkudgeon Carl, what are you doing? I wish that's how you spoke. Right, what are you doing then? Let's have a quick reprise if we could of the, of the Rockbusters clues. Yeah, Rockbusters, if you've just tuned in, you've missed it this week. If you three clues... That's, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I's that's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's that's th. I's th. I's thathea' th. I'll th. I'll thoomatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheathea. I's. I's, the the the the their. I's their. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's thathe. I's the the the the the their. I's the their the thooo'. Ituned in you've missed it this week. If you three trues... That's why we're giving the clues again? Yeah I know but if they haven't. Hey? What? Say if they've been busy. Just give the clues again. First one. Oh God. Don't argue with him because he wants and doesn't worry about anyone else. That's P, yeah, and the third and final one, oh I might have to put that woman in the oven. A, B.

Interesting. Are we telling them or still... No, no, no, people have still got a chance to win those extraordinary prizes, Ricky.Jovayz at XFM. We've still got features to come though Steve, it's incredible. We've still got Riktual, remember last time people in India it's good to have a flat head, we've got Dominidem, I've got that's Rick Ridiculous. That's a great game. What should we do next? What should we do next? What should we do next? We get Do we need them out the way?

Get the conquest? Yeah, just uh, let's explain it again. If you knew, I'm sort of on a bit of a mission to find out, you know, we've got a lot of animals and insects in the world and stuff. Do we need them all? He still amuses me. So we've found out we've got to keep jellyfish. We've done octopus. to keep them. Do we need them? Just doing them? Just doing some research, right?

I'm sort of working through different creatures and insects and stuff that's on the planet, right? Um, I'm sort of working away through different creatures and insects and stuff that's on the planet. Yeah. Right? And finding out if we need them or not, right? Yeah. Do you know much about snails? Sea snails? Well, yeah. Snails in general. I don't know much about snails, like welks, top shells, that sort of thing. Would you say they're important? What sort of sense do you mean by important? Say if we had to sort of thing. Would you say they're important? What's the sense do you mean by important? Say if we had to sort of get rid of some animals and insects and that because we're running out a room. Do you know what I mean? Because I'll tell you what I know about some snails. I don't know if this applies to sea snails as well. I mean I called you today because a lot of other places are shut. Yeah. Right? Right? So, I. So, a lot they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to to to to to to to to to to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to sort to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the like to eat stamps, apparently, the glue on stamps. They love it, right? Apparently a lot of letters and stuff aren't getting to where they're meant to be getting

because snails are crawling into letter boxes and eating the stamps. That obviously doesn't apply to the sea ones, but that's a problem they're causing. Are you aware of that? Are you glad you answered the phone tod you aware of that? No. I don't. Are you glad you answered the phone today? Right? They love beer. Yeah, he doesn't. And also, I don't know if this is right, but I heard that they sleep for 13 years or can do. Right. I wouldn't know if they can sleep for 13 years or not. I mean, sea snails are pretty important. Yeah, they do quite a good job in the sea. They have graze on algae in there.

But, what's... They provide food for other, other animals. I mean, you could sell about any fish, you know, or any animal, why do they exist? Would you be upset if, you know, someone said, we're getting rid of them? Yeah, you would be. Forget being like favoritism and all that, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they're, their, they're, they're, gra, gra, gra, gra, gra, gra, gra, gra, graia, grazeaahahea, grazeea, gra, gra, gra, gra, gra, yeah. You would be. They're an animal, you know. Forget being like favouritism and all that I get for them, right? There'll be other things knocking around you can sort of spend your time looking after. You'll still have a job. Don't be worrying about that. Because I'm not going to get rid of all the fish, jellyfish need looking after so you're

safe. Yeah. But do move on through the animals and you're holding them up saying, well, I want to keep them. Well, who's saying we need to... That just sounds a bit crazy to me. Just imagine. Do you know what I mean? And they would come to you because you're working in an aquarium, so they'd be asking for your advice. Right. And you're slowing it down. Well they have some advice and I'm giving it to them so you know that's what I think anyway. Yeah but snails, you know, I mean like I say they drink beer and that, you know, what did they do apart from some food for a whelk? They were they were around, their descendants around a lot longer than we have been around a long time but what's they? Well, they survived that long so they must be doing something pretty good.

Well, apparently they sleep for 13 years, so really, even though they've been around for ages. I think that sounds a bit... I don't think they're going to sleep for 13 years. Not, I mean, not all of them, just the tired ones. So, snails, the snails, the snails, the snails, the snails, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, really. So, really. So, really. So, really. So, really. So, really. So, really. So, really. So, really. So, really. they. they. they. they. they. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, th. they're, they're, th. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're Well yeah I just think they've got this is you know it's not for us to say do we need them or we can't. So you think we should keep them? Yeah definitely. Carl, I'm proud of you. That was... He was getting really quite annoyed. I know. What did he think he was doing? What? What does he think he was doing? What? I don't know what you tell these people? I mean, you don't get their permission to play this out, do you? Well, the thing is, right?

Yeah, I sort of told him what it was about, but we won't say who he is or where he works, because it doesn't matter. I just needed to speak to someone who knows. I know that you were trying to get an answer out of him by suggesting that he would be safe because he could look after Cheneyfish if he gave the okay to destroy snails. He was getting livid, you could tell. Oh, I'm obsessed with this song. the red, the red, the red, the red, the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to to to thin. You to to thin. You thin. You're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. You, you, you, you. You. You. You, you. You. You. You. You. You. You, you. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You, th. You. You, th. You're thin. You're thr. You're try. You're try. You're try. try. try. try. try. t a record. Well done. I'm obsessed with this, Red Vines, XFA 1449, Ricky Jervais, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. You mentioned earlier when we had our regular email from Dickie Anderson, Randers as I call him. Dandy, Sam. He, you mentioned it, because we didn't get anything from him last week.

Anyway, he's obviously listening. Rich because he's emailed in to explain his absence. Dear Ricky, sorry for not tuning in last week. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, th. to, to, th, to, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, to to to to to to to to to to to me, Steve, Steve, Steve, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. the, the, to me, to me, to me, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the because he's emailed in to explain his absence. Dear Ricky, sorry for not tuning in last week, only I was in HMV returning the 14 copies of the office I got for Christmas. That's from Ryan Anders. So, he's explained himself. Oh, Anders, we should get him on one day. Yeah. Right, okay, Carl. That's Rickidiculous.

Three amazing scientific facts, one of which is spurious. Okay? One, girls can't throw because the part of their brain that allow men to throw properly in a girl is used up in emotion. Two, gravity isn't instantaneous, it works at the speed of light, the force of gravity. Three, statistically you're more likely be trampled by a donkey than dying in a plane crash. Now, even though the last one sounds daft, I think I've read that about the donkey thing. Okay. So, so girls... What's the first one? Girls can't throw properly because the part of the brain that allow men to throw is used

up in a motion in a woman. Gravity isn't instantaneous. It works at the speed of light. So when you drop some it, the force kicks in at the speed of light. What do you reckon, Steve? Well, it's not that's that's that's that's that's tha that's that's that's that's the their their their their tha, tha, tha, tha, that's that's tha, that's that's that's that's thathea, that's thathea, their, thatheatheatheatheatheatheat, that, their, their, their, their, their, their, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their. their. tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. thoooo. the. thooooo. the the the the. the the the th light. What do you reckon, Steve? Well, it's not for me to say. Is this a trick one where none of them are Rickidiculous? Or one of them is. One of those three is not true. Right, well it's definitely not the donkey, right?

So, I reckon the girl one throwing stuff. Is Rickidiculous? Correct. Well done. Well done. Well, well done indeed. Yeah. That's two out of two he's got so far.

Well, there you go. Well, I'll teach you some stuff now. Right. So, I just say, I've always been fascinated by the donkey fact. Because it is an extraordinary fact that you know they they go a bit mad and squash are but my concern is that when you go on a plane there's so many checks I mean it takes on 40 minutes to go through all the checks the air pressure the cabin pressure the fuel checking their flights to their. Yeah. Our checks are their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they are they are they are they are they are they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they go go go go go go go go they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they go go go go go go they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they gate? I think so. That's it. That's a donkey check. Is he annoyed or not? You're not working him too hard, yeah, yeah. It's got his hand. Is there two, is there two holes for the ears?

Yes. Well I think that's what's happening. I don't think it's actually. I don't think they're thin' thinne thin. I think they're so annoyed. I don't think think think think th, there's not, if we had the same stringent checks on donkeys as we do on international flights, maybe they'd be a little less there. Exactly. Wise words. Cheers. Why use, if slightly incoherent words. Go on, Carl. Got that right. So, um, acid. I would sort you out with some science. Brilliant. I forgot the puns. Goar. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. So. So. So. So. So. So. Go. So. So. So. So. So, that. So, that. I. So, that. I. I. So, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I, that. I, that. I. I. I. forgot the puns in mind didn't I forgot the puns. Yeah go on. Right so yeah you asked to sort of be taught some science and that last week after being taught about war so did some research and there's a few things I think we'll just cover cover one of them now. Go on. We've talked a lot about airy kids. I love the fact that Simon Sharma has never started a programme like that. The Jacobites we've talked a lot about hairy kids.

Go on. It's a little bit. It's not your traditional science stuff but it's still interesting and it's a little bit. Yeah we're still interesting and it's a little bit, you know. We have disproportionately honestly. I think this show is talking about airy kids more than any other radio show. Well it's one that... Sorry, no, it's both of you there dropped the H or the H or however it was. So airy, airy, hairy children, not the air, sort of air. Yeah, it's covered in air. That's all really weird.

And the doctor sort of checked him over and said, well, yeah, he is airy, but it's quite healthy apart from, he had a little bit of eczema and a boil. That's, that was the main bit of the story, on it, thrown it. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's, thi. that's, that's, thi. that's, thi. that was, that was, thi. that was, thi. that was, that was, thi. that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, thi. That's, thi. that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, thi. That's, thi. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, their. That's, their. That's, their. That's, their. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. the the thi. the the th. the th. th. the the thee. th. the the the. the the. the the. talked about it and you weren't having any of it at the time. What? This next bit of science I'm telling you about. Go on in. Right? Remember when I told you about a lad, he was living at home with his mom and dad, right?

Everything's, you know, normal life, go out of school, that sort of thing. Then, I think his mom and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, I's, I's, I's, their, I's, their, their, I's, their their their their their their their their their their their their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, their their their their their their their, their, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next, their next their next bit and he thought I'm sick of this. It's happening all the time now they kept having arguments so the kid ran off into the woods. Oh, yeah. Right? Now he left, he went and ran in the woods and he ended up living with some monkeys. Right. Right. And he thought this isn't a bad life, you know there's no arguments going on.

You know, there's no arguments going on. Sure. He was getting on with them. And the weird thing is... This is where the science bit comes in. That's your... He grew a load of air on his body. It's not true. It is true. It's an acquired characterist. I bet someone will back me up on this.

But no, no, you can't... You can't grow hair like that. You might get a little bit more downy, they might, the rectile tissue might, you know, they won't fall out as much that would, you know, but you don't actually grow a big main if you're cold and you're a human. Well he did. He did, this lad did. I know it sounds a bit strange in that, but he was living with the monkeys and because it was cold his body reacted to it. Listen, he was no hairier than he would have been if he was walking around naked in a cold day with or without living with monkeys. The fact that he was living with monkeys makes no difference.

No I know but I'm trying to get, you know, picture it in your head what it's like. Although Mickey Delens was always pretty hairy. Right, so he was living with them and he went into town or something one day to get some food and the people there were like, hang on a minute, that isn't a monkey. He went in naked? No, he was there covered in hair. Yeah, but naked, but covered in hair, so it was decent. It was... Yeah, yeah, but that was a weird thing they thought it was a monkey in the shop and so presumably he had a big long beard as well because he couldn't

shave could he? No no it just covered he looked like a monkey and they were happy to surf the monkey were they there's a monkey how did he walk how did he walk how did he walk upright or whistling along the picture the picture the picture that I I I I I I I I I the the the picture the picture the picture the picture that I the picture that I the picture that I the picture the picture he he he he he was he was the picture the picture the picture the picture the picture the picture the the the picture the he was the picture was the picture the picture was the picture was their was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. their they was their their the they was the picture that I saw on the internet he was on all fours but I don't know if that's when he was running away after he did sort of, you know, realise he was a kid. But this was a picture. So he was a kid. He wasn't even like an adult with the beard? No he was a kid. Brilliant.

And the beard kicked in a little bit of... So listen, the people caught him. Right? Got it all off. Didn't grow back again. Right. It just... You're an idiot. Well, like I say, people will have heard this story or read about it. You're an idiot. And they'll email in, they don't let me down. And they'll agree that you're an idiot. No, no, they'll have seen the story. So that's a little bit of science.

You're an idiot. Did you see the stylish kids in the riotous? I cherish you my love. Libertines, time for heroes and X-FM, 104.9. Right, okay, so have you got anything that is science as opposed to nonsense? Well, um... Kid went off with some monkeys, grew air, came back, shaved him it didn't grow back. I mean, just think. Right, something else?

There's a few things I found. There's a fella. Oh God. Oh, I dick up for 69 years. That was a bit annoying. Yeah. There's the dog with the wig that we've discussed. Imagine if you just tuned in. There's the dog with the wig that we've already discussed.

Did we discuss that? Not really. Did I not tell you what he said? I did, didn't I? Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. What else have we got? Well, there's something here that you sort of know. Is this going out live? Yeah, this is happening, right? But remember when you talked about sponges, if you get a red sponge and a blue sponge?

You liquidize them, pour them back into a tank after a few hours that they know which was which and they they reform as a red sponge and a blue sponge. Yeah. I thought that was weird when you told me. I thi thi that that that that that that thi that that's thiiiiii thi that's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thoomky thoombueueueueue. thoom-a thoom-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. thuuuuuuuuuuanann-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuan-sa-spongedededed-spongeded-sponged-suanananananuanuanananed-s th that was weird when you told me. Yeah. Looked it up, did a bit of research, thought that's sort of scy. You can do the same thing with a mouse's brain. Okay. Explain a bit more? No, you can't. If you get a dead mouse, put its brain into a blender, you know, blend it up, leave it standing for a bit. Making that up, aren't you? You get, you're confusing you're thing you're thing you're confusing thing you're confusing thing, you're confusing thing, you're confusing thing, you're confusing thing, you're confusing thing, you're thing it, you're that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a thi, it up, leave it standing for a bit. Making that up, aren't you? You get, you're confusing this, you watch Nigella Lawson make some sort of pudding. What do you mean, what, do you, wait, it won't work with the brain?

Well it does with them, I mean not, not human brain, don't be trying that. No, a mouse, a mouse one. And what happens? It sort of reforms. It goes back together again. No, it's, you know, because apparently it's made up the same stuff as... But it doesn't, does it? Because if it's dead, if it's a dead brain, the cells can't act anyway. The fact the sponge is that it doesn't kill the cells, it liquidizes them, it doesn't kill the cells. So it couldn't be a dead brain, taken out tha tha tha tha tha tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, it thi, it would thi, if thi, if thi, if thi, if thi, if it would have thi, if it would have thoome, if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's tho, if it's tho, if it's tho, if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's, if it's, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, it's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, it's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's the thate. It's the thate. It's the thatea, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thatea, thatea, thate. It's thate it liquidized them, it doesn't kill the cells. So it couldn't be a dead brain anyway. It would have to be a live brain taken out from a live mouse for the cells to be getting oxygen and working and be in sensitive to each other. And that, I don't see how that could work like it does in sponges. I mean, I mean, do you know what I mean? I'm just sort of read it and go, oh that and I'll tell Ricky and Steve about it. You're quizzing me as if I have come up with it, if

someone else has done it and said it works. Sure. So I'm not, I'm not, do you think ghosts are behind it or do you think there's a scientific explanation for it? No, it's just one of them weird things, isn't it? That's what you're th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's just, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just th. It's just, it's just th. It's just th. It's just thi, it's just thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, if I've thi, if I've thi, it, if I've thi, if I thi, if I thi, if I I I I I thi, if I I I I I I th. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It's th. It's th th th thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's just thi, it's just thi, if I've thi, if I've thi. It's thi. It's thiiii. It's thiii. It's thi. It's thi, if I've th way. Well that was another barnstorming feature. Is that the two things you put this week? Thanks pretty much for that. Yeah, yeah, that means. There's nothing behind them, do you know what I mean by this? There's not a, there's not like a weight of intellect behind these facts. Why don't you make that in next week we'll do it live on air see what happens.

Oh. Do you feel sort of let down a little bit sometimes with our reactions? What are you expecting us to do? Are you expecting us to just like look at you, open mouth staring at you in all? Just like, oh god, yeah, where did you find out? We know where you found it out? You looked on the internet and a strange homemade. a maniac somewhere who puts on stupid things that he heard through Chinese whispers. It's, that's where you get your information from. I doubt that anything you've ever come up with is verified, if it is it's luck. But what do you expect me to do for you? Do you know what I mean? I'm just...

You know, I'd like to know what the source of the information is. I'd like it to be, you know, a research study by the University of Columbia, rather than, you know, a guy who calls himself Mr. Pickles. Put on a website somewhere, W.W.W. W.W.L.W.W. L.W. I mean, I'm th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W... W. W. W. W. W. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. W. W. W................................................................................................................................................................................ Some kind of evidence. Do you know what it means? I was warned you know, you know that Stephen Spielberg thing's coming, taken? Yeah? About alien abduction? When you watch it, I just remember this, it's not a documentary. Okay? All right? You remember our ET? We were discussing that earlier. You know that's not fact. Fact or fact? We were discussing that earlier. You know that's not fact. Fact. Fract, your face. Brick. Brickstar Radiohead from the Benz on XFM 104.9.

Rick John has emailed in. It looks here like he's maybe trawled the web himself. I mean, I don't know if people just immediately leap onto the web every time Carl says something in his defense. I think our listeners are alwaysled the web himself. I mean I don't know if people just immediately leap onto the web every time Carl says something in his defense. I think our listeners are always on the web. Yeah. Um, anyway, he seems like he's reprinted here a new story, which seems to confirm Carl's monkey boy story.

Yeah, what was the new story? Doctors in Kazakhstan are baffled after finding a six-year-ozy. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. the. theee. theeeeeea. thea. theeeeea. thea. theelai was found in a remote mountain village close to the Chinese border. He's covered in thick hair from head to to toe and has an oval-shaped skull. Doctors suspect nuclear radiation or a genetic disorder may be responsible. Fine. But it's an interesting bit here. But it's not that you could have genetic defects. I've seen lots of people born with genetic noses five feet etc. I'm saying that he wasn't normal he wasn't normal and then went to live with monkeys and grew the hair. That's my point. But it says his mother and father are distant relatives. Such marriages are common in the Kazakhstan Mountain Hamlets. Now the village elders were consulted as to what to do with him right. Now these are the

village these are the wise men of the village, these are people presumably that all year long are telling the village how to live, how to survive. You're in charge because you've lived longest. Yeah, exactly. You're presumably solving any kind of moral conundrums, any sort of awkward things. Do you know what they suggested that they do with their hairy son? Goan. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go, go, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send, send. Send. Send. Send. their, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how. the village. the village. the village. the village. the village. the village. the village. the village. the village. the village. their, how. their, how. the village. the village. their, how. their, how, how. their, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, you. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their in the circus. That was what they suggested and the mother actually wanted him to go to school. Instead of, I don't know, school or circus, I don't know. We don't know what's better for him. I'm not sure. We must consult the elders. What do you think, Carl? It's not a bad life is it? What the circus? Well, you ran the way from it. C-T-T-T-T-Tahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Well, that I saw about that fella who were, I don't have to talk about it really. Go on. Tell us now, you've hooked me, come on.

You can say it, it's okay, what are you worried that it might be insulting to someone? Well, it's not nice but... Well, you're not taking the Mickey out of that, you're telling us, go on. It was a fella. It's the book, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's the book, the book, tha, thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th' th' thin' thin' that' th' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' are wrong with him and airy people and yeah, like with three legs and that, there's a fella um basically just a head and a little body on a skateboard. Yeah, right? Picture of him having a shave and he was shaving with his mouth bit like that with his toe. Like that on the radio? Garve is now doing an impression of a man shaving with his mouth bit, uh-uh, with his tongue. Like that on the radio? Carl is now doing an impression of a man shaving with his mouth. Well, it's just a head, don't mind. He's doing an important, imagine a head,

because he was very tiny body on a skateboard shaving with its tongue, that's what car was doing. Oh, and he was depressed because he kept getting the wheels of his skateboard. wouldn't you rather than... What? What rather than go through all that hassle? But you get it calling the wheels of his skateboard? True. True. Nearly it. Rikersvah,

the show you're a co-pastie, and Cahill-match, Nearly it, Ricky Javai, Steve Match and Carl Brompton. So the answers to this week's Rockbusters. Yeah, yeah. Can you give us the clues again in the answers? Yeah, the first one was, don't argue with him. He ain't going to change his mind. The initials there were 8A.

That's Adamant. Yeah, all right. Stopped back. always gets what he wants and doesn't worry about anyone else. That was P. That was Picks his. Picks his. It kind of works. Yeah. And the third one. I'll have to put that woman in an oven. That was A.B. That was Anita Baker. That was Anita Baker. A need to bake her. Yeah, I'll let you have all three today. You've done well. Do you have to pick a winner, Steve. Well done to Mark Ledder. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. P, th. P, th. P, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. A need to the waker. Yeah, I'll let you have all three today. You've done well. So, do you have to pick a winner, Steve? Well done to Mark Ledder from Bo. He wins those fairly mediocre prizes. I enjoyed them. Oh, brilliant. We've met a few last few tears, a few scientific breakthroughs. Exactly. Got to get a picture of Carl somewhere in the national press, just his little round heads there.

As an email here, Carl is trying to distract attention from the fact that he is a monkey raised among humans and horses and has failed to develop hair. I can just imagine him being the second cleverest in a troop of monkeys. You know what I mean? The second cleverest. Do you know what I mean? It's picking fleas out of the hair. Oh look at his little face. I'll tell you what, Heat, I'm going to get a picture of you, just put it in the radio section of Pete, just this is what Carl looks like. Oh, another email someone said, when the monkey boy went to the shops, he was naked, where did he keep his money?

Good point, didn't't happen then. Right. Oh. So that's that. We didn't even do all, uh... What do you mean? We didn't get around to ritual. Oh come on, give us ritual. We have, quickly!

No, we have got time, just do it! Why haven't we got time? Why haven't we got time? to finish on the the it. Do it? Do you familiar with the place called Easter Island. Yeah. Do you know what they do out there? Eat eggs? I don't know. That's close. Go on. What they do, right, there's a load of people living on an island. Yeah, Easter Island? And to find out who's going to be running the place. They don't hold elections do they? They have these, well they have these birds that lay like expensive eggs on an island. Expensive eggs! They lay expensive eggs! Fabricet eggs? Yeah, yeah,

come on. On this island? Yeah, one to year? No, off it like about two miles out. Oh yeah. Wiston Island. True Tuesday. Yeah, back the game right. Tell us! No, you, no, tell us. Right, finish it out. Don't you dare. I'll see you later. Joey Mitchell.

You've a blue motel room from the island. Jerry, it's the song for ladies this week. Next week we used to like.