The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E34 (April 12, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

placebo the bitter end that's the first single to be lifted from their fourth coming up and sleeping with ghosts which you can hear in full on the X-FM online listening posts I'm Ricky your cheeky little devil Jivain with me Steve all right ladies what can I get you the drink what I think I made a money I'm meant half a mile or some merchant and Carl oh I oh, I'm stressed, I'm stressed. If it's too hard, I don't want to do it, Pilkington. Indeed. Oh, well, it's nice to be back, Rick.

Rick, I heard a rumor that you weren't going to be playing great music today. I'm assuming that's wrong. It is wrong. This is what I mean about the great I mean, th I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I th, I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, I don't thi, I don't tho, I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't they they they they don't they don't, I don't, I don't they they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they don't they they they they don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th I don't th. I don't th. I don't thin, I don't thin, I don't that, I don't want that, I don't want tho' thoan, I don't want tho' tho' thoan, I don't want thoan, I don't want tho' that, I don't Chinese whispers, I'm not having it, there's some great music coming up. I also heard that there was going to be some boring chat. Sorry, it's that... Well I want names. I don't want to name names. Well, it's totally wrong. I heard it was going to be inane, ill-thought-out, often stupid. No, Carl's not going to talk so much this week. We're going to, to, to, to, to, thiiiiiii. thi. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. thi. I, thi. I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not. I'm not. their. their. their. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I. I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the. I'm the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. tha. tha. tha. I tha. tha. I tha. I the the the the the so much this week we're going to try and sort of bring you know bring it back to real radio so that's an absolute lie yeah yeah great great great great great great great great great great great good all right all right all right all right what um can I just check

because there are rules in place aren't there yeah there was a big there was a big bust up in the week well I'm not allowed I'm not allowed to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thy thy thy thy thy the the the the the the the the the the the the the th because there are rules in place aren't there? Yeah. There was a big bust up in the week. I don't know if we could talk about it. I'm not allowed to wind him up my arm. I'm not allowed to wind him up socially now. I'm not allowed to do socially. I'm not allowed to do, socially. I think I think it's squeezing the head socially. Yeah. Why was that? Yeah. Because he was he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he was he was he was he was there there there there there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there. There was there. There was there. There was there. It was there. It was there was there was there. It was there was there was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. It was that. I was that. I was that. I was that th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th th th th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th know Carl was really upset and he was thinking of just giving it all in weren't you? Yeah. Why was that? Because he was just whining me up too much. Yeah. I mean do you want to bring it all up again? I don't mind what was I was doing? It was just, I mean I should say now that there was a conversation where it was I was very much a media, I was very much a UN mediator.

Where do you think about it? It was difficult to sort of keep it serious when I'm saying stuff like, I'm sick of you putting a Burger King bag on me to. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. There's a part of me that's like, I'm going to do to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's like, I that's like, I that's like, I that that that that that is that I'm laughing and going, well I'm going to do that anymore and he's going, you can still do it on air. Like today I came in, I wanted to squeeze it and said he went at one o'clock.

I love those rules. I love those rules. You can squeeze his hair, you can put a boot thing down on his way. It's terrible. But that all started last week as well really, because, because, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, it's terrible. Oh dear. But that all started last week as well really because I got in a bit earlier to do an edit for you on some track that I'd swear in in it, right? So getting early, he comes in, first thing he does is go to sort of squeeze me head. And my reaction was, not now, do it later.

As if it's all right to do it later. isn't normal. We should just point out when we say squeezing your head, what exactly does that mean? I put my hand on the front, I do two experiments, right? One is the side, because you can crush an egg sideways, so I think that's more dangerous. And I squeezed, I actually put my elbows out, and I pressed like a bice and I really go for it until it really hurts. And the front one is it shouldn't hurt so much if my experiment's right I don't know. Well it was all this that sort of you know built up sure and the research that you're doing there is that going to be available online at some point? Well that was the problem that's why I was saying to him because it kind of started last week. Well it's been

going on since we've known you yeah yeah I just got it I just up to it I think it I think it got to when I think I th I I I I I I I the I the I to I to the I to to to to the I'm I'm I to to the I'm I'm I to the I'm I to the I'm I to to the I to the I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I the they. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the told to me I to, I had on Thursday when I filmed it. That was it, yeah. That's right, yeah. I brought him a camera man to film me torturing him and there was some people from the sixth floor being shown around. Yeah, some management and that showing probably clients around, you know sort of, they've probably been on all the different floors, same what all the sort of alter... Ah! This sort of noise going on. You see them all look down and I'm saying don't do that, right? Sure. They might want to spend a load of money.

Yeah. Yeah. And he's doing that, he's wrestling with me, he's filming it. So that's when I just thought, you know. And then when we're having the argument on the phone phone tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' they're they're they're they're they're they're saying they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're theythe phone I was saying you know has this been some sort of experiment. Yeah. It did he said that and of course I lost it. Yeah but it's all good now. Do you want to squeeze his head before we play the next head? I won't in the moment because I mean we've got to get on it's not right and that annoyed me as well because I was trying to find out where he was going I was going to to to to go I'm going on waiting I'm going on waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I me on two counts I'm just doing the camera you know so I'm gonna follow him and just turn up and go all right we've been but

then when I came and he went I'm meeting a mate and he told me where it was so I told him that spoils my fun of course because you don't you know what I'm, you don't want to to true just true and I don't want him to like it's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to the the the the try. I I try. I try. I try. I tell me me try. I try. I toldld me told me told me told me to me to me to me to me to going to let me do you know I mean it's just it's a little bit annoying. It's that thing though you see this happened years ago to me right when you get Pally with someone and then you wind each other up and then they come to time when you just go over the line. Yeah right? What happened? Well it was this lad called Anthony right? It was my mate and we used to sort of always have a little fight in that. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thin thin' that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they theeeeeeeeeee the the the a little fight in the toilet and that, so then punch each other. No, I want to wipe it. And the punches, you know, he used to get harder and stuff and then, you know, so he hit me harder.

Turned out into a proper fight. Yeah. I chipped his tooth on the sink, right? This happened at school and it was time for assembly and I thought, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, and I was th, and I was th, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, th, and I was, th, thi, and I was, and I was, and I was, and I was, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and the, and the, and the, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.............. He, th. He, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, you, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, the, the, the, the, thought, oh, and he's in the toilet crying. I thought, oh, go to assembly. There's police in there in the assembly that day telling people about unnecessary violence. And you thought they were there for you? So I'm like, oh no, Anthony's going to come in a minute, like crying with all blood coming from his mouth. I'm it kind of happened because I went out with a girl who we fancied. How old are we now? That 8 or 9? I think that's out of order, going out with a mate's girl. Yeah, but she didn't like him, he had like big ears and that.

He had no chance. Yeah, because you're such a dish. No, but do you know what I mean? I haven't got the looks like I used to. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, th, that, that, th. that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. that, that's, thi. that's, thi. that's, that's, thi. thi, the, the I haven't got the looks like I used to sure when you're eight but that's before the stress of you know having Ed squows and that sort of thing I have aged a lot I have had you have had to I love your own grammar yeah I know that's the past tense is it I mean he squeeze or to have squosed oh he did squaose his head oh yeah oh brilliant so So you know. What about a bit of Bowie? Be my wife. Carl, I'm asking you. I think we can close that in. Be my wife, Carl, come on.

Will you, uh, miss me on holiday? No. Were you, uh, Miss me on holiday? No. Is it? Really? No. What?

He's joking, I assume, I assume, I'm joking. I don't know. I can't tell, I can't tell their serious or not. What do you mean, no? No, definitely not. I mean, I might, when I get back, I'll go, just have a quick chat, but I'm not going to be to be to be to be to be the the to be, I'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er, I'er, I'a'er, I'er, I'a'er, the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to their, the to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to be sat there going oh I wish I was back in London for Ricky to you know I've squosed my head we've sorted the head problem out yeah no still won't no okay well still what I'm saying I was with with car in the week I think it was Tuesday or Wednesday and was it last week

there was a program on about the child who was older than her mum? The child that was older than a mum? Yeah, right, which he was looking forward to as much as Oliver the Humanzi. Yeah. And I didn't see it in the end. Did you miss it as well? I missed it as well. What it is, is this little girl and she's got an aging thing so she was telling me about this it's all from him he went what it is right she's about five right but she's aged so she's actually 90 right and I went oh God really went yeah and then he went could she get served in an off-license I went no he went well that's not fair I went what do you mean you went well I said she's five years old she's a five-year-old girl he went yeah but she's got the body the body the body the body the body the body the body the body the body th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh th oh th oh th oh th oh th oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh the th th the the th th th th th th th th th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's she's a five-year-old girl. He went, yeah, but she's got the body of a 90-year-old, so, oh God, let her have

a fag. Wouldn't you let her have one, is she? If she asked? Yeah. If you were to turn off license and she wandered in, right? And, uh... So she's two foot six? I don't know because I haven't seen it I don't know that much about yeah she's five years it's just an aging process which is a degeneration of the cells like what aging is it it's it it doesn't mean she grew into a 90 year old woman with a scarf no exactly what did you imagine it look like I don't know I mean it she's aging fast yeah yes but it's it's

more to do it's not yes yeah because it was saying that a mom and dad are pretty stressed out about it and I kind of thought well you'd be forever buying birthday presents. It's not like she's morphing through various ages like my god look she's 58 today 59 we can't keep up. It's not that it has it has like to go. It has the same effect as aging on the body. So at a cellular level, there's a degeneration as quick as if she's gone through. I don't know. I got this from you, I'm guessing, Carl. It's not like she's watching top of the pops one week and she's loving it. Then the next week she's going, I can't understand what they're saying. It's not like. It. It. It. It. It's not like. It's not like. It's not like. It's the. It's not like. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's not, I. It's the. It's the. It's not like. It's not like. It's their. It's like, I's like. It's going. It's like, I's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It.................................................... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not like she's watching Top of the Pops one week and she's loving it, then the next week she's going, I can't understand what they're saying.

Yeah, it's not like music and Monday. I remember, I got, I remember when I was four and a half. They're real bands. That's club seven were excellent. But what's this tripe? But if she wants a f-o'faggue. Carl. But she's got to experience everything in a short spell of time, do you know what I mean? You've got time to sort of... I think you're thinking of her life like that fat boy slim video where it starts off of something calling out of the sea and then it evolves really quickly over three minutes. I don't know that's not the case Carl. Her mind isn't it, she isn't aging in her mind at the same time. No she's not living. She's living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not their their their their their their their their their. She. She. She's not their. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not living. She's not their their th. She's not th. She's not their their their not their not their not their their their their her body is degenerating quicker than it should so if you worked in odd bins you wouldn't serve her

with a bottle of wine no I probably would well unless she had some ID which probably cool isn't it I said well that on top of all the other problems he wouldn't even give us a glass of yeah a bottle of wine and her ID wouldn't look right because he's aging all the time. The photo would never match. Yeah, look at my hair there. That was last week. Well it was 2002. We don't know enough about it so. No I haven't seen it so yeah maybe we should apologize because that could sound Callison Crawl because I don't know what I don't know what the whole vibe of the yeah I know it the title that excited you. It's like I'm older than my mom. No it was it's the child that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's old that's old that's old that's old that's old that's old that's old that's old that's old that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the th. th. the thou. the th. the th. th. th. th. thi. thou. that's th. that's that's th. that's thi. that's that's th. th I know the title that excited you. It's something like I'm older than my mom. No, it was the child that's older than her mother. Well, yeah. So that's what that was weird. There's some good stuff on in the

week. You mean you didn't watch that. Didn't see that. So maybe someone have on video for you. Yeah if you taped it and you know send it in. Watch it on fast forward she'd really age then. Imagine that. Whoa! Well we've got some weird stuff to talk about though. What? Daren Brown? Oh yeah that was interesting. I know the fact that the track we've just talked about him asking me nicely not to squeeze his head when people around and a girl who ages so quickly she should be served in odd bins and he goes but we've got some weird stuff coming up. That's Carl's world. That's it yeah. leave all this misery behind, touring breaks, pain killer.

That's what I could do. I could sort of give you a little local anesthetic and squeeze your head and see how far out we go before... I'll start that when I get back on holiday. Ah, dear. Rick, I was watching music television this morning just because she dances lo-co it don't make her a hoe, no. I love it.

I can't help but the the the the the the the tha. I kind of agree with Wycliffe Jean, just because she dances loco, it don't make her a hoe, no. But I can't help but feel she's not helping a case. I mean she's there every night, basically getting a man for the lads. I know. For money. I mean, I don't mean that she's a hoe or a whore, as we say, but I can't have a thing. If you think people are sagging you off, their the the their, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th Yeah. She likes to cheat, she likes to use your money. I'll say this. If, well, basically exposing and sort of wobbling around, uh, your minge tits and ass doesn't make you a hoe. What does? I don't know what does. Look at Carl's head just went down there, just went down there, he doesn't like this sort. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho' to to to to to to to to to tho' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. If. If. If. If th. If thi. If the. If the. If the. If the. If the. If the. I the. I's the. I say the. I say the. If the. I's the. If to the. If to this sort of field here. He's thinking about Maxine. That's her name. Put on your red shoes Maxine. Oh is it? Yeah, it's a moving song.

What's the horse about at the end? Horse, I've never understood that. Never understood that. Is he, I'm always a bit concerned about the Fugees? Because I heard Lauren Hill's not, or whatever his name is, I don't know what's happened to be, I disappeared on the face of the earth I got a soft spot from all I think he popped up too much I think it was a bit ubiquitous jumping up when everyone's you know it's a funny bloke as well whitecliff he's a good guy good luck good luck good good to all the all the all the fudgies so good luck it does make me worry well uh... do you the the other any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any any other any any other any other any any any any other any other any other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the the the the the the the the the the hell? What has gone wrong with Hepburn? Oh it does make me worry. It does make me worry. Well, uh, do you want to do some, uh, give some stuff away? Huh, I suppose so, Carl, we could, yeah.

Yeah, set it up, set it up, set it right. What is it? Which of your many competitions is this? Uh, songs a phrase. Talking of competitions, uh, talking of competitions, uh, their to-a, to Carl kicked Steve off the team because he was getting a little bit uppity and trying to take it over. This is pub quiz. Yeah, but then you let him back back in didn't you? Well he was alright he came to me afterwards and said you know you're not going to kick me off are you? I said well yeah. He came back sort of begging was it embarrassing was it embarrassing or no he learned his lesson? He really th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was thi th. He was the? He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was the. He was the. He was theeeee. He was theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. He was the. He was the. He was the. He was know, he learnt his lesson. He realised he's overstep the mark like you have this week. Do you know what I mean? We've all learned a lesson. Yeah, we all learned a lesson.

But I won the quiz, didn't I and you didn't? Well, that doesn't matter. No, but I won't all the money, didn't I? Please bear in mind. It's taking part of to do with it? You've got the collective age your team of about 300? No, one of them is actually, one of them is actually five, but she's just aged a lot. I think when I thought the 11 plus were all around the same age, that's what I mean, right? Your team was a lot older. What was our average age would you say? Average age is probably 30? Right. Yours at least 41? No? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's is thi's thi's th is thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is the is the is the is theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the. the. the. the., definitely. Only two of us were 40 and one and three were about 30. No rubbish. Yeah, who's 30. Martin, Glenn's about 36? Yeah, yeah, but all Alps. And you've all

and you've all got. And you've got a better general knowledge. Yeah, yeah, we were cheating. We knew more. You just knew more stuff. Yeah, that's not allowed, is it? Proper quiz time. But I wasn't winding you up though when I wasn't gloating or anything, was I? No, not at their to'n'n'er. No, not at all. that to be gosh. Right. that's tax-free, that money. Like he's got a prize, isn't it? I that, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I'm th. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't. I. Right. Is that tax-free that money? Yeah, it's a prize, isn't it? Is that true though? I think so. Prize money, isn't it? I don't know. Otherwise, I assume you'll be declaring that. Yeah, will. Yeah. Yeah, you'll be paying tax on that? Yeah. Because you know where people, I mean, the tax man could contact you via XFM at any time. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to to to to to check. th. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. that th. that that that that that. that. that. It's th. It is th. It is. It is. It is. It is. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's prizes to give away this week. You've excelled yourself again. We've got once again Scotland Rocks, the very best of Scottish music, Texas, Deacon Deak and Blue, and Jerry Rafferty. Proclaims, don't worry?

Declan is on there or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's big. It's best on there. It's beento that. Is Lulu on there or not? Is she not on there? Is she not on there? She's not on there. But the wet on there? Well the wet, or the wet? Fairground attraction. Brilliant. Brilliant. That's on there. It's we hootie mucke. It's on the new album by the white stripes. the DVD walking with is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I I I I the. I the. I the. I the. I can. I can. I the. I the. I the. I I the. I I can. I I can. I I can. I I I I can. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I can. I. I can. I can. I can. I can't. I can't. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I can't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. I can. I can't. The X-list album which is quite good. The new album by the White Stripes. The DVD Walking with Cave Men, that TV the show that's on. On VHS. It's still got the price on

there. On VHS in case you haven't seen it, Fight Club and the best-selling book from Michael Moore's Stupid White Men. So it actually some quite Right, songs of phrase, it's where I get a line that sort of is said a lot on the show or has been said quite a lot on the show. Is this one stop squeezing me out? No? Oh, I could have done that. Yeah. But what we're doing is, the elephant man's my favorite film. Yeah, but what we're doing is my favorite film. It is as well. It's his favorite film. I know. Why is that, that's. Is that. It. It's. It's. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that that that's that's that that's that's that's that's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. the. theate. theate. theate. theate. theat the. theat the. the. theat the. the. the. the. the. that the phrase? Yeah, that's the phrase that we're looking at today. The elephant man's my favorite film. It is as well. It's his favorite film. I know.

I know. Why is that again? So because it's funny and sad and it's you know exactly what you're going to get. Yeah. They promise you an elephant man is exactly what you get. Yeah. Have you seen it's good? Have you seen it? It's good film? It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's this. It's the f's this. It's this. It's this. It's his favorite. It's his favorite. It's his favorite. It's his his his favorite. It's his his his. It's his. It's his. It's his. It's favorite. It's his. It's favorite. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's this. It's his. It's his. It's his. It's his. It's his. It's his. It's the f. It's his f. It's the f. It's the f. It's the f. It's the f. It's the f. It's the f- It's the f- It's the f- It's the f- It's the f- It's, having that as your favourite film, of all the hundreds of amazing films. I mean, I mean, it's a good film and it's a moving film, but I can't imagine this film I would watch endlessly again and again. I don't care about a bloat with an elephant's head. No, I watched a little bit of it again, it's one that, you know, it annoys me that, you know it annoys that, you that, you that, you that, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, that, that, that, that, that, that, it that, it that, you know, you that, you that, you that, you that, you that, that, th that, you that, you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, it, it, it's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, it's a th, I th, I thi, that, that, that, I thi that, thi that, thi thi thi thi thi thi, I thi, I thi, I th goes, I'm not an animal. He is. Well, I mean, he speaks like one. And what does it help? He looks like one. Yeah, yeah. But it was a bit unfair because they never let him look in a mirror

because he's a bit odd looking and it upset him. Yeah. So his air was always a mess. And that made him look today. Do you know, my friend introduced me to that film, and if you remember at the beginning there's a big montage because he is working in a zoo, isn't he? Or he's been kept in a zoo? And there's a sequence of various, of elephants, I think, actual My friend said to me when we watch this he said what happens is he gets trampled on by some elephants and that's what makes him look like an elephant. And I went right and I watched it I thought that's not the case and I tried to explain it to him and he's to this day still convinced that the elephant man it's like a it's like when spider man gets bitten by a spider yeah yeah it was his man'am who got... He never forget. Be careful.

Is it, his man what? Wasn't it his ma'am who was pregnant and then they ran over her? No, I don't think so. That's the impression I got from it. You are joking, aren't you? No. I thought, I honestly... Anyway, so the phrase is my favourite films, the elephant man. Oh well, wow. There's five songs make that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. the the the the th. the the the th. the th. the the the the the their their thi. He their th. He's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. He their. their. their. their. He. their. Wasn't. their. He. their. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's their th. He's th. He's th. th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. thoooooooooooooooome. Wasn't. Wasn't. Wasn't. Wasn't. Wasn't. Wasn't. Wasn't. Wasn't. It's the phrase is my favourite films, The Elephant Man. Oh well, aren't it? There's five songs make up that sentence. Yep. Right, this week. Have a listen, see if you can work out the songs, email in, Ricky. Dovece, XFM. dot at UK.

Right? And you win all that stuff, Steve just said. So, right, here we go. The Elephant man. The elephant man is my favourite film. That was mostly done. Genius. Let's hear it again. There's the film. The elephant man is my favourite film.

Well I thought we'd make it a bit easier. Five songs there. The elephantphant Man is my favourite film. Well, I thought we'd make it a bit easier. Make it a bit easier. Just one more. The Elephant Man is my favourite clown. Email only Ricky.Jovayz at XFM.co. Brilliant. A bit of a hip-hop, arrayreyo, a bit of a rap, classic. Although you may not have heard it before. XFM 104.9 and Mickets you've made with me Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkington.

Carl the Cayman Pilking, Pilkers, little Pilkers, little Baldy, Roundy Heady Pilkers. Oh yeah, there's a Watson. Go on. There's a Watson. You're joking. There's not a Watson name. You are joking, Carl. No, it's just you reminded me.

Oh did I? Yeah. If they go go go go go go go go go go go go go go the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's th. It's, th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. th. thi. the th. the th. the th. th. It's a little. It's a little. It round bottle there. Yeah. If they go to XFM.co.ukk. Right. Slash Ricky. There's a picture on there, you know that picture you did. Oh, that I drew. The one you drew with me. Uh, who put it on? What, XFM.

Put it on? Yeah. Do it look good? look yeah I'll have a look during the next one the ex-fm dot co the UK right and there's that little picture and people can sort of put bids in and the money goes to me I assume as I drew it no it's for some charity thing so because I read I read I read I that I think there's been a bit of at least didn't know, did I? You didn't keep me informed. Well, I just... Oh. Oh. He's a buffoon, Carl, isn't he?

I think you're an idiot, but sometimes... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just going to check the power list, the to check the toppour power top power top power top power top power top power top po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po top, top, top, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the po, the the the the the important people in radio. What's this list? Oh it's just the most important people in radio. 56 Ricky Javais. That's annoying. 56. Let me see. Says 55 more important people than me. I love the fact there that I've beaten David Mansfield is a controller of capital. Yeah, arbitrary. The Radio Academy

power list to top 100. And you're what number of 56? Wickets FM? I know it's where not not mentioned Carl. the the thoughts on that? You know, little stinging that, I'd have thought considering the amount of work you put into this show. Don't get me started. Are you on here elsewhere, Carl? Too busy. Chris Moyles is number 96. Oh, that's good news, isn't it? That's good news, isn't it? the list by next year, right. Alright, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Right. Right. Right, right. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. that's good news isn't it? He'll be off the list by next year, alright? So what is weird, Steve, go on? Right? Who's number one? Number one is Phil Roberts? I don't know who that is. Right? Wouldn't you think that Markone would have got a mention? Markone? Now what station's he on? That's the point? Because I got one in television you thought John Logie Baird would have got a mention? Right? Right? Right? Right? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to? to be? to be? to be? to to to to to their? Who their? Who their? Who the? Who the? Who the? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who's tho? Who's tho, right? Who's tho, right? Who's? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Well? Well? Well, the? Who's? Who's? Who's? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? W. th point because I got one in television you thought John Logie Baird would have got a mention yeah yeah that is great although it's not ever is it again I'll slip out of that by next year I'd

thought oh dear just checking to see oh yeah doctor Fox good he's on there number 39 I'm assuming his medical qualifications have also that's that sleek him up the list yeah typical Pete Waterman yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah the the the the the the the the th yeah th yeah th yeah th yeah th yeah th yeah th yeah th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. That sneaks him up the list, yeah. Typical. Pete Waterman, yeah, number 35, that makes sense. Important guy. Can we just give the website so they can read this at the leisure? Because this really isn't radio, is it?

Right, well, XFM.ukkud at UK slash Ricky, if you want to see that picture and whoever bidded 50 quid if you can send the email again. Bid, whoever bidded? Yeah. We should start picking you up on you, Ramay. I mean we're hardly ones to speak but you know. I squosed. I'll tell you what, I listened back to the show. I listened back. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who. to to, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who. Who, who. Who, who, who. Who, who, who. Who, who, who, who, who. Who, who. Who. Who, who. Who, who. Who. Who. Who, who. Who. Who. Who, who, who. Who. Who. to, who. to, who. to, who. to, who. to, who. to. to, who. to. Who. to. Who. to, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th much screaming and shouting and just nonsense and eating birds. It was a bit like it's a lockout last week, wouldn't it? Yeah, and I listened back to it and it was without doubt the most appalling piece of radio I have ever heard in my life. Really? I didn't know what I was saying. I'm just like to go and I'm finishing set

it, eat it and he's going, oh! Carl there? eating a hamburger. It was bizarre, just half an hour. If anyone didn't know us, or I'd never heard of a restaurant, it was just like going, Heart, wonderful, XFM, one of the four, listen to this. Yeah, yeah, it is a burger, eat the beans, he's going to come out as many, it was absolutely, honestly, it was like a mental ward. To be fair though, at the best of times you sound like you're selling the evening standard. Oh, isn't it?

Oh, God. We should have the worst bits available, shouldn't it, just the worst bits of broadcasting ever. So where I didn't finish the sentence was just shouting or a record, I mean, there were swear words slips out, and just put them all on a CD. Like, you know, like Panky put up the best of his phone calls. Exactly. Yeah, I haven't got the worst radio show in the world ever. Yeah, no, that's what I call bollocks.

Oh, I calm down. That's just cheapened it. Oh, now and again. Oh, Tits. Good to see those boys still rocking. It's A.C.D.C. Shook me all night long. And it's a film on a 4.9 and I'm looking at the Jays with me, Steve Merchantin and Carl Pilkington. We've got the result of the quiz, Carl. Yeah, I'll just play it one more time. It was songs of phrase. Is this the last time we're doing this? I thought so. I thought it worked better this week because

it was actually doable. Yeah. That makes a difference, Kyle. We haven't done Carl's the idiot, yeah. Carl you're an idiot, have we. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. that's that's that's that's that's th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I'll the the. the th. the. the the the. the. the the the the the the the the the that one. Alright, well the five songs that made up this little thing here was Mysteries Beautiful Blues, Eels, Innocent Man, Billy Joel, my favourite waste of time I win Paul. Bohemme Rhapsody, Queen, girls on film, Durandaran it sounded like this. The Elephant Man is my favourite film. The Elephant man is my favourite film. Yeah, I think, um, this is my favourite film. Hang on, was Bohemie? this film there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're going to give that to Pyle. He just calls himself Pyle. Uh, Goodwrike Pyl. What's happened to Anders? Well, I was just going to say, actually, we've not had correspondence from Richard Dickie Anders for some time. The Dickmaster, Dickmaster General, with his naughty, naughty, insulting ways. Yeah, Anderson used to email regularly. Anders, get on your computer!

Get in touch, mate. What do you think of the show? Hold on, though, to be fair, he was listening when we were listening when we were pretty shoddy. I think we owe a little apology from you, Dixster. Exactly. Absolutely. Listen, Piley, we want to send you all those goodies, including Scottish Rock, but we don't have your address, so email in your address and we can send it off to you. All right? Yeah. More address? Yeah.

Yeah. Excellent. A Snoop. Beautiful XFM, 9, Jovey's merchant Pilkington. Carl had a treat in the week, didn't he? He couldn't believe his luck. We know Deron Brown, you know Deron Brown, the sort of magician, mind reader, fella. It's more special on that. Well, um, called me up in town said, do you mind if I bring him on Carl? He went, he went, well,

do you mind, he went, I'm not coming, he went, to tell you, he went, well, uh, to do, he went, to try, he went, well, uh, to ask him, I want, he's very, I'll ask him, I want him to know how he did that trick when he said, you've got the winning ticket. I went, don't, he's not going to tell you, he's a magician. He went, well it's not worth it then. If I can't quiz him, but he came in though, didn't I? I got in there with the questions that he didn't see a ghost when he was five yeah and then we got onto the tricks yeah well you I mean it will live in my mind he won't get inside my head yeah and he got inside your head magnificently Carl didn't I mean were you not amazed I mean

we Darren promised actually that you come on the show in the future and then you the listeners can can see how he can baffle amaze and just generally freak out. I think we should film everything that happens right because it's just a waste because you're only getting half it when you hear what Carl has to say because his face honestly says a thousand words yeah I think we just put on a DVD of Carl's facial expressions this is Carl thin they were going to clone a the their their their their their their th th th th their tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th is the the the the the they they're just just just just just just the tho. I'm just they's just they's just just they's just just just just they's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to to to to tho. I tho. I'm just a tho. I'm just a tho. I'm just tho. I'm a thi. I'm a thooo-I. I'm a thooo. I'm just thi. I'm just thinking he saw a ghost. This is Carl thinking they were going to clone a man moth. Yeah. Just different faces.

So do you want to try and explain what he did and what marveled you so much? Right, yeah, he comes in, he sits down. I'm a bit sort of, a bit spooked by him straight away? Oh, you're a weird thing about him. So anyway, he's sat there and he's he. He he. He he. He he. He's he. He's he. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's him. Because he was naked. Checking, you know, seeing what he's, you know, looking at and stuff. So, uh, so anyway, he gets his, uh, gets his paper out and I think, right, it's gonna do a bit of trickery and that. And he says to me, right, write down a number and a number and a name, right? It was between... A two-digit number, a two-digit number and a name of anyone you know. Yeah, right. Now the thing is, I thought the name because I was telling Steve earlier about the kid at school who I fell out with, right,

over that girl who was called Aris, right? So that name was like in my mind, read it ago, because I didn't want to use anybody's name who I knew, a their their to to to to to to to their and to to their and their and to to to their and to to their and to to to their to to to to to to to to to to two two two two to to do their number and to do to do to do to do to do number number and a number and a number and a number and a number to do to do to do to do to do their number and a number and a number and a number and a number and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their number and their number and their number and their number and to me that name was like in my mind, ready to go. Because I didn't want to use anybody's name who I knew, sort of now, because maybe you've mentioned it in the past. Sure, I couldn't say Suzanne. I couldn't say my dad. Yeah, well, do you know what I mean? So I picked a name, yeah.

I picked a name, yeah, well I thought you might have name right that you three didn't really know about right number just came to mind right so 42 we were never thinking that 42 right he said the right just keep saying it over and over in your head and I'm there and he's saying all these sort of different numbers at me and I'm trying to throw him off a little bit every time he said a number that they sort of smiling looking a bit nervous yeah don't know if you caught that right? I just all I could see was you looking so blank. Stony face he picked on the wrong person when he said let your mind go blank you realize he picked on the wrong person then. So you had to squeeze his head to get it going again I said I said so Darren if in

doubt he'd be thinking of monkeys. And Deron looked at Carl and he said, were you thinking of the monkeys? He said, I tried not to and I thought of them more. Right, that's true as well. Yeah. So, I'm there, I'm there thinking of these numbers and that. Then he said, right, let's just talk about other stuff for a bit, right? So I was like, well I'm not going to say anything, right? Because I don't want you to catch me out.

But then when we were talking, I was trying to like knock him off track, do you know? I mean, I played a bit of hardball with him, really. I was like, say, because we were talking about aliens and that, I was like, because, th also, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th....... I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, th. When, I was, I don't, I don't, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, I don't, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, they were..... they were. they were... they. they were come and land again in two thousand and clever you know I mean dropping in different numbers and that I need so doing all that playing him his own game and I think I had him for a bit on the roots yeah so anyway comes down to the the time when he's telling me the name and the number yeah and uh well they explain what he actually did I mean that was he just went he just went he to think of a number and he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th th he th is just th is just th is th is he th is th is th is th is just just th is just just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi the the the the thi the the the the to to to to to the the thi thi the thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi th of a number at the end of it and he said, oh is it an eye? And you went, it wasn't an eye, but there is no, okay, anyway, he got, he got, he got, he got the name. Harris, then he went, he went and said, do you an extrovert, and he wrote the number, and he wrote down, he wrote down, he wrote, he wrote, he wrote, he said to you, he said, if..think you're really an intro, I don't think of this or I don't think of that, da da da and I think he came up with the number 32 didn't he?

He said to you, you're thinking of number 32, you said to him no way, you couldn't believe you could you when you caught him out. But he said he said it's either 42, the thirty-two, yeah, well, it was it was, it's either, it's either, it's either, it's either, he's either, he's either, he's either, he's thirty, he's thirty, he's thirty, he's thirty, he's thirty, he's thirty, he's thirty, he's thirty, he's thirty, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He. He. He. He. He. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he's that's 42, that's 42, it's diagonally there. That box is 42. The numbers that added up on the page, whether you go across, sideways, down, across whatever, always added up to 42. Yeah. Right? And he's got the name Harris, which freaks you out. He freaked me out. I kept saying, how do you do it? And he wasn't telling me. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was talking. I was talking. I was talking. I was talking. I was talking. I was talking. I was talking to to to to. I was talking. I was talking. I was talking. I was talking. I was talking. I was to to. I was talking. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was to. I was. I was to. I was to. I. I was to. I was to to. I was to. I was to. I was to. I was to to to. I was to to to to to to to al. al. al. al. al. al. al. al. al. al. Always al. al. al. Always al. Always al. I was al. I was al. I was that he uses is the same thing that

Hitler did. Play record. No no seriously just apparently it's the same thing because he was saying what? What? Play record? No just let me finish because no I've even ran it by other people to check if I'm right on this. that's true play record? Because the people in the X of him office, yeah, I mean they're pretty wise, they're up on that stuff. No, we used it in a different way. Yeah, play a record. No, hang on, let me hear it. All it is, it's power of suggestion, apparently. All it is, it's power of suggestion, apparently, the big thinkers over there. The brain boxes. But anyway, right, it's... Because I mean, Magnus Magazine works on next one now, doesn't it?

Right. Listen, was it a Pac-Man? Now, that blew me away, right? The fact that you got the name, you got the number. Spooky bit, right? Um, I'm walking home. I called you up a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a times and I left a message on your film because it was just amazing not only was he good at magic but his maths was brilliant haha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I mean imagine him on countdown he'd even know what they were their today. How did he even know what they were going to write down. You know what I mean? So a bit of a wasted talent, I should see him again about that. I think he's...

He asked him, he said, why are you doing all the mucking around on tell? Then he went, why are you mucking around on tell? And he said, he said, he said, you could make some serious money. I think Steve went, well. thu. He hehehehehehehehehehehe. He hehe. He he. He he. He he. He he. He he he. He said, he. He said, he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's th. He said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's. He's. He's. He's. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's he's he's he's he's he's th. He's th. He's th. He said, he's th. He said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he's th. He said't you say to him you should be working for the police force? I said yeah she's being a police station you could help people out. Yeah, yeah I mean it's not a daft idea is it? Not really. Right so anyway right so I'm calling different people up walking home I couldn't believe it. Yeah I called Suzanne up telling her about it and she's like slow down. She said you like a little kid who's just been on a fairground ride or something, slow down, right? So I'm telling her, call my mom and dad up, my dad wasn't that impressed. No, of course not. He's like, well that's all been done before. But anyway, right? But then he wasn't impressed with little donkey, was he? No, he's not impressed by much, isn't he? Right. So I get into my flat right, right right and what they do in my flat where I live

they put the post in like these little pigeonoles right and I don't normally check them out I leave it for two's on to do right? Sure but this time for some weird reason I thought right I'll I'll check it see we've got any posts open it up there's only this a letter for Miss Harris. Yeah there it is bona fide in front of us the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th the th the to th th the to th the to the the to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. I the. I the a letter for Miss Harris. Yep, there it is, bona fide in front of us, a letter addressed to a Miss Harris. Well, does she live there? No, it's my address, she doesn't live there.

Did she ever? I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's weird, isn't it? But, what... What, what... I think there was a guy who lived there called Yaki Shoki. Mr. 42. It was definitely wasn't an aris, right? This is the first time I've had a letter for this woman. Yes, right? But what are you claiming? Because Derrin Brown himself admits

that it is not paranormal, it is not supernatural, it is a trick. It's a trick. But he would say that, Hitler said that. He's a trick. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's is th. It's is th. It's the the the the the the the the the first the the first the the first. This is the th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. It's is th. th. It's is th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. the. the. thi. the. thi. the. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's Hitler said that. Play a record. Well, can we open this? No, it's illegal! No, but I'm thinking if it's a birth account for someone's like 40-second birthday. Right, you can't open that letter. Go and put it back or put, not, no, you cannot open that letter. Why not? You can't open someone else's mail. Because you think Deren Brown's supernatural. What if we then thenaled it, no one would know. It's only a letter. You can't, right, yeah you can, but I'm stuck, I don't want any part of it. I can't like it you should open it. No, you open it. I'm not opening it. It's a gate for law. You should open it there. We won't know, we won't open it then. They won't they'll get off. Cure. A the th the the th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that that that that that th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's to. It's to. It's tote. It's tote. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It, forget it. You'll get off. A bit of cure. There's no cure, no.

I'm looking... What? I'm tempted to open it. Wow. Do you want to open it? There you go. No, I'm not going to open it, but I think you should, definitely. Oh.

Oh, oh. Six different ways by the cure from the album, The Head on the Door. We've enjoyed that. The Head on the Door, Carl. It was only four weeks ago you were talking about a head and a door. Exactly. Is it a door got a number on it? Oh dear. Oh dear. So we're opening it. Now I can't open it because as the producer, right? Oh yeah, because you're standing in society as such that.

They'd made a real example of you that a producer of a tin pot radio show once a week. Yeah, he should know better. He can press buttons and talk at the same time. Send him down. But you, they wouldn't try you in an adult court. he should know better he can press buttons and talk at the same time sending down that you they wouldn't try you in an adult court you would get away you get away that just they do you speaking for a little while and they would they would they would the judge would end up squeezing your head and letting you off it be like those people who trained monkeys to break in remember down in south of the past and they were going around robbing stuff and they trained them to do it yeah so I think those monkeys would have got in trouble it would have been the keepers so you know

I think XFM would probably take the rap well you open it no I can't be seen to open it no director exactly so am I can't be seen to open it exactly so I'm no part of this. That's against the law, but... Right, I'm having no part of it. Open it, come on, you've started now. Right. The thing is, right? If it's important, we can say, maybe she's listening. But do you need to stress? What could be anything? What are you going to say? Oh, and if you are listening, Mr. Sarris, you have got gone here. to the number 42 on the thin. than. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thin. the. the. the. Oh well. I think my talk did well. What is it? Is the number 42 on there? What is it? Could you say? Be careful what?

Let me see what it is. What is it? What is it? Dear Sir Madam, your periodical dental inspection is now to you. Would you kindly contact the surgery to make an appointment? Harris, Mrs. Harris, if you're listening, your periodical dental inspection is now due. You'd like to, you might want to contact the, uh, yeah, but. Yeah, but. The dental surgeon that you normally go to.

So you got, could have a, a faulty tooth. 42 42 42 42 42 I don't believe it 42 Oh my god that Darren's good Bram's good is good is Oh dear That's some blur then Carl is that really seven and a half years old, Blur, the Universal. All right?

All right. What his words there? Yeah, just made me think. Sure. Carl, I asked you in the week, didn't I? Oh, was that kid when that was out? She wasn't born. So she was about 30. Well, I think that's the first time we've officially broken the law on here.

I don't think we've broken the law before on there, but... Okay, alright, with the dentist's appointment. Well, we haven't broken the law, Steve, yes. And he should know better. He's the top producer of a tin pot lady station. Carl, Ricky and I were doing some writing in the week and we needed a little book of Zodiac types. What's your thought on... Just to make sure it was good, you know, to be writing. What do you make of all that stuff, horoscopes?

Do you have any thoughts on that? No and again I'll read it, but I don't believe it if it's it's it's's not just going on. What's the sign of you? That's perfect though. But that is that, that's thy raise on depth. That is, those people who do zodiacs exist on that piece of philosophy. I believe it if it's good. And that's why when you have breakdowns, people don't go, you're a nasty little piece of work, you're a pug-ugly little twattwait and you and you and you and you're and you're and you're and you're and you're and you're and you're and you're a little th. And th. And thi, and you're a little, and you're a little, and you're a little thii, and you're a little, and you're a little thioliolioliolioli, and you're a little, and you're a little, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's a that's a that's a thiiiiiiiiioliiiioliioli, thi, thi,to anything it's things like hmm you're probably too generous for your own good yeah you like to keep a little distance but you like to love you're a warm person it's always stuff like that isn't it people go I suppose I am to you yeah yeah that is me all over hmm you're a creative person you're a creative person who thinks they're not a creative person exactly

exactly you yeah Who thinks they're not a creative person? Exactly. You've got a wonderful sense of humour. What's the outside of you? Mine changes. I'm on the edge. Oh God. He even makes that complicated. He even makes twoddle complicated. No, I'm just, it changes depending on what paper you read. Yeah. All right. In the third of September. So I think, most of the time on the Virgo, I think.

Well, I'll tell you, write that down, listeners, 23rd of September and come around and give him the bumps. What, I mean? Well, according to this, I mean, I mean, you've been criticizing this, Rick, Rick, Rick. Sure. You've been saying that there's maybe not anything in the same. Yeah, well, hang on, let me just read tell the... Is this going to change my mind? Well, I'm going to eat my words. The typical Virgoin... Mmm, words.

Okay. The physical appearance of the typical Vagoin. Yeah. High forehead. That's not true, thrown. Has an extremely large forehead, has a high hairline. That's not true though is it? Maybe quite tall. What are the bloke's like?

Often has one foot turned in more than the other. What do they just described Rain Man? What is that? How can I be specific? Well that's why it sounds like Carl? One foot turned in? Ah, have they even bothered doing one for you because there isn't many people in... Hang on a minute. Let him finish it.

No, I'm just saying. Go on. What are you saying? I sort of think I'm fairly average looking, but I'm saying, have they wasted a page in that book for whatever you are? It started off me being dissing him and stuff and you've been nice. Hang on a minute. I don't think you can be ever thag because it says that they are normally quick, alert and intelligent. But no actually I have to say it says here behavior and personality traits of the Virgoin is an excellent mimic, can learn many things in a short time, not really true of you is it. Rarely questions authority but frequently

questions facts. You never question authority. Yeah, you never question authority, scared of authority. Yeah. You're usually times, very upset if teased? That's true. Yeah. Oh yeah. Can't take a bit of stick, too much pressure. You can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. Yeah. What to teach a young vauguin? Myths, fairy stories, make, believe, daydreams and how to use imaginationation their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thirty thirty thirty thirty is thirty is thirty is thirty is thirty is thirty is thirty is thirty is thirty is thirty is saught is sa- is sa- is sa- is s is s is s is s is thirty is thirty is thirty is th. He is th. He is th. He is th. He is th. is th. is th. is th. is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is it is thi is it is thi is thi is thirty is thirty is thirty is a thirty thirty thirty threate a threate. A threate. A threate. A threaten. A thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty is sa. It is sa. It is sa. What to teach a young Vagoan? Myths, fairy stories, make-believe, daydreams and how to use imagination should all be taught to young Vagoing. So they have plenty of magical moments to remember in their adult years when they are often alone. I'm changing my mind. I know. This is good stuff. All right, well let's see. the Vagoen is, I love some of the specifics of this. Tago. This is th. This is th. This is th. T. This is th. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi's thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. So thi. So th. So th. So, thi. So, thi. So, the the their their their thi. their their thi. their their their their thee. their their their toooooooooooooooe. their to to, I don't think we should talk about that. Yeah, let's have a look.

It says the Vregona is, I love some of the specifics of this. Forgone as an employer. It's excellent as the boss of a small company. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get him on a Tuesday. It's probably stamp collecting their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their isn't it? That is year all over. I've changed your mind. It's brilliant. It's a real science. They've really put their work in with this one. Let me see Sagittarius, Sarajos. Sagittarian is a happy, playful little clang.

Greets everywhere. Oh dear. Yeah, let me see. It's only going to read the good bits though, isn't he? If that's it, what could say it they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. It's really. It's really. It's th. It's really. It's really. It's really. They're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they. They they. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They're. They're. they. they. they. they. they're they're really. they're really. they're really. they're really. they're really. they're really. th. th. th th th th th thi. th they're really really really. they're really. they're really. they're really. they're really. they're really. they're... He's only going to read the good bits though, eh? If that's it, what could it say? Have they done yours in sort of small print because you've got special eyes? I don't know what that insult is, Carl? What kind of insult is that? Well, you know. He's happy with that! Look at his face! He's done me?

Oh dear. And come back to me. to me. Boohoo! It won't do. Listen to the Gallagher voice and stop crying your heart out on XFM 104. No need to. Monkey News. So that is it time.

Time to type of monkey news? Can we have the jingle? Oh! Chimpancy that is it time. Time for monkey news. Can we have the jingle? Oh, chimpanzee that monkey news. I love the jingle. Right, well, uh... Can we play that jingle once more than the monkey news? Let me cue it up. Oh, chimpanzee that monkey news.

Oh, chimpanzee, that j-a. Oh, chimpne up to now. I was really often that jingle is more fun than the monkey is. So you've got to excelling yourself this week. Well it's, there's been a lot going on. In the monkey world. Yeah, I was looking at the Guinness Book of Records that we bought last week. What are you bought? What I bought? I was cleaning the tea off it I was having a little read through and there was some monkey stuff

in there there was, this isn't the actual thought I'm just telling you, what it's like looking up monkey news all week. It's like the making of monkey news. It's like the making of monkey news which is actually available on DVD it's you know 12 minutes unseen footage just just the making a monkey news which that is my favourite the a way. If you enjoy Monkey News, see how it happens. You know, from conception to... That's all put together. Yeah, go on. Yeah. What's a typical me on Monkey News Day?

Well, it was, uh, there was some stuff about a monkey in the Guinness Book of Records. I think it had the record for asking for a cup of coffee in 23 different ways. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. That's good. Just to show the Monkey News is getting bigger and people are covering it, Donald McIntyre, he was on on BBC. Yeah. On Monday he was doing some.

No, no, he hasn't moved over yet. This is something that he did for the BBC. So that was pretty good. Well, he wasn't that was pretty for the BBC. Right. So that was pretty good. That was about, well it wasn't good. It was pretty sad, really. What? He was doing this things. You know, like last week we were doing Cheap as Chimps? Yeah. And someone emailed in saying, you know, Donnell McIntyre's doing Cheap as Chimps? Really? And it was about, I bet Don't Donne McIntyre did not do a program called. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's th. It was the. It was th. It was th. It was th. It's. No. But you could tell where they got the format from. Sure. Sure. And it was about guerrillas and how much you can get one for. But the problem was because they're that pricey. They were sort of... I mean I don't mean it. If it's cool then don't, yeah forget it. Yeah it was a bit. I mean in, to regard to say, in the making of monkey news,

then cheapest chimps, not, not, and you're no, no, no, no, no, no, go on. All right. Well, anyway, today's, today's story was emailed in. So he didn't even do anything towards it. So when you say I've been working on monkey news, what you're, that out. So is the making of monkey news you checking your email? Well no I'm always looking at different options that you know how much he's going on. This one makes me laugh when he says he's really busy. Yeah I'm doing other stuff and that I'm doing other stuff. People are sending in monkey news. Yeah yeah yeah you get an email is it from writers? Well listen it's from Steve okay. Now what it is is is this monkey, right? I don't know where it was. But there's a bit before

the monkey anyway, right? It's a bank. There's this bank, right? Busy bank, normal day, everything's going in, right? Busy bank, people going in, doing what they do, seeing about mortgages and stuff. Everything's normal, everyone's happy, right? So anyway, it's quite busy one day. Feller comes in with a gun, with a gun, the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, the monkey, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but there's there's there, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, th, th. But, the, the, the, thi, there, the monkey, the monkey, there's there's there's there's there's there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a bit, but, but there's there's normal, everyone's happy, right? So anyway, it's quite busy one day. Fella comes in with a gun and a ball of clava on. Up to no good. Right, I'll tell you now, Carl, if this fella turns out to be any ape or monkey-related species, you're never doing this again. Yeah, I never, so just, if you want to finish it's at your own risk. But if this fella who robbed the bank turns out to be a chimpanzee, that's the end of monkey news. All right.

Okay, let's hear the end. It's a lovely day and a lovely bank. Everyone's happy. Everything's normal. A man comes in in in a ban's waving a gun around. I'm sorry, let him finish the story. Starts waving a gun around, right? Up to no good. So everyone's thinking, oh God, you know, wish you didn't come in here, it's not going

to be a good day. I'm told him. I'm tole is the man. told him. . . In English? Any English? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. So everyone's panicking, everyone's getting on the floor thinking this is it, this is, you know, it's all over.

Just when you think, you know, it's all bad news, it's all bad news, door swing open, little monkey wanders in. Oh God, it's worse. Shut up, Rick. Little monkey wanders in, right? The robbers like, what's going on here? He's telling it to get down on the floor, I don't think it was taking any notice. No, it was just busy asking for coffee. It runs in, I don't know if it was going to withdraw or deposit or whatever, it wanders in, right, goes up to the robber.the gun, text the gun and the bag of money off him.

Everyone's like, yay, you know, we've been saved. Then the monkey starts backing out with the gun and the money. Shut up. I'll see you like that. Sit down, sit down and this. Here's the end of the story. It does a runner with the money and they're gone. No one's seen it since. You are an idiot.

I mean, you have said some stupid things in your time. What are you talking about? It's a story that happened. No! What are you talking about? What do you mean it backed out? It came in. Was it an accomplice? Was it an opportunist monkey robbery? What are you talking? Think, Carl! Think! I know it's mad. That's the idea of monkey news. We're telling people how monkeys are pretty, you know, they're menful. They're up to no good. What are you think? They've never seen the monkey since? What do you have a getaway, Carl? Wait, did he swing his way to freedom? Where was this?

There's no details. Don't talk rubbish!" Steve emailed it in, he's got it off the net, and the funny thing is, yeah, the funny thing is, um, it wasn't just him who sent it. I had that a couple of times, so a few people obviously read the story and said, you know, that'll be good for Monkey News. It doesn't say any more, it doesn't say if he went off to Spain. He doesn't say you know what you know if he's on crime watch. Doesn't say any of that. It's just saying that's what he did. That's the story and that's the movie version with Phil Collins. So I look forward to that and Julie Waters. So that's this week's monkey news if you got any you know anything? No don't that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. I that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I's. I's th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thethat's this week's Monkey News if you've got any you know anything No don't bother in your town no that is the end no that is the end of monkey news no more monkey news she's a bit of queen it says it here in this email Rick it's got to be true

right 70s a life Nice to read that one again. Metal Mickey Swade on XFM, one of 4.9. Wow, nearly over with Ricky, Steve and Carl. I've done another little sketch for you, Carl, because I was excited by the fact that we raise that money. So I've done little... It's not over yet. It's like people go to the website and if they think it's worth more than 50, they can say I'll give you 55.

Why so they put that one little one on, it's all three of us, isn't it? Well they haven't done that yet? No, but they can put that on next week and they can frame it for them, can't they? But if they have a look, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thi, that, that, that, th, they, they, they, they, they that, thi, they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they, they, they they, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th.. And, than, than, than, than, than, than, than, that, that, that, that, that, they're that, that, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, that, they're they're they're of money, right, in a few years, when we're all dead. Now, listen, Carl, you're going on a holiday. You need a little rest, don't you? Yeah. What's it? What's the vibe? What's the vibe of the day? What's the, what's the, what's the, uh... Just, um... It's Suzanne's dad, right? My girlfriend's dad. He's 60 so... Yeah, that's the average age in Medera. Check him. Is it? It's quite, doesn't quite, yeah.

My mate Danube went to Medera. And he was worried about sort of terrorism on the plane. And he looked around, he thought, well, if someone gets up, someone arrested him to the floor. He looked around and he was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. It was tho thus thus thus thus thus thus tho's thoes thoes thus. It was thoes thoes thoes thoes. It was th. It was th. It was worried, th. It was worried, th. It was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried. He was worried. He was worried. He was worried. He was worried. He was worried. He was worried. He was worried. He was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was thi thi thi thi thi was thi thi thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worried, he was worriedto the floor and he looked around and he was the only one he realized could have got out of his seat quickly enough so you'll enjoy it it's quite quiet it's nice. It'll be all right I mean it's the first time a mom and dad have been away so whatever abroad yeah so they're they're worrying about they just don't understand the rules and stuff so they're panicking a bit and then in the week he called off what they're going to take they're going to take life stock yeah well it's getting like that it was like are they filling those of durax with heroin as we speak no but do they know about passports expiring don't they I mean they're not completely stupid they know about all that right yeah and he called up in the the to the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to to they to they they to they they they they they they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they of the questions said, what's the best thing when you're going abroad,

it's the best thing to use to carry tea bags. So it was like, what are you worrying about that for? They'll sell tea bags out there. And he's like, well, we want to take our own. It's like they'll sell tea bags. Yeah. And he's worrying about that, he. He, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, to to to to to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to use to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to use, to use, to use, to use, to use, the the the the the the the tha., the tha., the tha., the tha., to to to to to to to to he said I'll bubble wrap it so he's bubble wrapping a tea thing is just I mean it is annoying me a bit because it's meant to be a week off from from you annoying me and already is niggling me but you are easily wound up you are a very funicity little fussy person you don't like any the slightest bit of pressure see I thrive ba bababababa ba ba ba ba ba ba that's that's it it it it it it it it it it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's I that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th is th th is th is th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the abababab. That's the things. That's always doing stuff.

Monkey News. Do you know, monkey news. I've got an email. I read it to one air. It's rubbish, but that's one feature. That's my bit done. That's all I have to do. I'll tell you what, when I'm away next week. you can do. Because I've already sold on that the Guinness Book of Records one so you can't use that. Right. We're going to find the best monkey news ever, Carl. Wow. What was it you said

to me about, because I mean the thing is that you don't really like people do you, that's the true? That's the thing is that you don't really like people? you don't. their thing. thr. th. I th. I th. I th th. I th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the th. I the the the the the the the th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th thing. I th thing. I th thing. I th thing. I thing. I things things things things things things things things things things things things thi the. the. the. the. I don't the. I don't th. I don't tire. Yeah, what was it? No, it's always hassle. Well, the tire he sits and swings on his banguard, you mean. It's just, they call up, they ask for stuff, they want favours doing. Yeah, they want to, they want to pint, they want to chat to you because they like, I know, I know they're a pain in the ass. I'll tell you, I'll tell you you you you, I'll you, I'll you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the their, their, their, their, their, their, you, you, you, their, you're better, you're better, you're better, you're better, you're better, you're better, their, their, they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they're their, they're their, they're their, they're their, they're their, they're their, their, they're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, like him? You know, some friends will never touch you around the head or never see you for a week, am I? You should get a different squeezing? I am going to get a little squeezing? Can I come on there and squeeze you? Squeeze them in there? It's pretty nice. Hurry up. Well, that's it. I'll go to add to that. That's it. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. That's a nice. I. I. I' the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I'll their. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the their. I'll their. I'll their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll th. You'll the. You'll the. You'll thoooooooooooooooooooooo- touch. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll have a quick squeeze. That's like a Benny-eel slap there on the phone. Alright, that's enough for that. Okay. I'm not. Squeeze it, squeeze it.

All right. That's it. That's it. See you next week. See you, Rick. Have a good holiday. All right. Excellent.