The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E35 (April 19, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

Bono you should be a weatherman because once again you've predicted wrongly it's not a beautiful day it's always it's dealing. That was you two XFM wonderful point nine Ricky Javais Steve Merchant Claire Sturgis Claire Sturges in for Carl Pilkington is on holiday Sunday safe where was he got Mauritius was it? Madeira I think with um his girlfriend's parents you remember last week he was worried they'd never been abroad and her dad was saying how does what's the way to pack tea bags? Yeah.

Carl's going you get him over there. He's going to put me in a jar, he's put me in a jargon. I phoned him up in the week just before he went I think Friday have a nice time and uh at Sunday and he said, guess what he's what's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, thi, thi, thi, I, I's thi, I's thi, I's thi, I's thi, I's thi, what, what, what, what, what's thi, I's thi, what's thi, he's to say, he said, he said, how's to say, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he's was was was was was, he's was, he's was, he's was, he's was, he's was, he's was thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's to to to to to to say, he's to say, how's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say, how to thin, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's doing now? What is it? He's packing margarine. Oh, of course he is. Oh, bless him. My dad does that. My parents always take tea bags wherever they're going. Really?

For fear of there being some kind of tea bag drought in France. Yeah. You know? Is it, is it what? Is it because of maybe English breakfast tea you can't get over there? But you can? You can get peach chips. Tea is probably the single most popular drink in the world. I know, but what about the fancy foreign tea is your Earl Grey's and the like? Wow, I don't know.

Because I want a good English breakfast. Don't bother me that I don't know what that a cup of bit of skimmed milk isn't so bad. Oh, yeah, yeah, oh and it's your husband a fan. We've started, eh? It's all off and ready. It's not all I'm a little go to each other sometimes pretending, you know. Sometimes pretending we're not close mates. Yeah, yeah, yeah and all that innuendo and that again. Oh, I got a And I've got a freaking goggle I go too far. I sometimes go too far. I do ruin it when I go too far. So it's been nice. Well, let's have a bit of blur. Oh, well it's good on me. Clubberman. We're not out of time. We've got a whole hour and 50 minutes to go on the Rick and Jervais Steve Merchant Show. Ex-I that one of those after th. I th. We th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm th. I got tho. I'm tho. I've got th. I got to go go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go. I I I I to go. I to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got tho. I got tho. I'm tho. I'm to to to to to to to too. I go too. I'm to to to too. I'm to to to to to to to to to on the Rick and Javais Steve Merchant Show. Except for one of those after every record. Right, aren't they?

I think if you were actually like a proper DJ, if you actually tried to do the Dr. Fox thing, I think you'd be quite good. Really? But I think I could only survive doing that sort of post 11 p.m. Ooh, quiet things down. Yeah, I love th. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. I. th. th. I. th. I. th. I. th. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thin. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think. I think.............................................................. love all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that American Jock type thing as well. I listen to Saga radio now sometimes. What? It's on digital. I think it's radio for the over 50s. And it plays, it was playing Cliff Richard this morning. It played Sammy Davis Jr. It played down the Beatles, Here Come to the Sunnys, and I was loving it. Well yeah, it's not, it seemed at your. It's, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I, it, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the same, I was, I was, I was the same, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, it, it, it, I was the same, I was the same, I was, I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I the, I the saa, I the saa, I the saa, I the saa, I the sa, I the sa, I the same, I the same, I, I the same, I was s s s s s s s s s s s s' the same, I was s' the same, I was s' tha, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sage, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, I've their, I've the, I've the, I was thinking, well yeah, it's not saying that your age grade. Yeah, exactly. And I've got a bad back. I've been a bad back all week. He's been ill. I don't even start with me. We have everyone worked this week. He's been ill after the flu. What's people still not about, I'll tell you this, I, I, I, uh, Wednesday morning, I think it was. I the head, the sore th. the the the the the the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the throw. the the the the the the the the the thrown, I'm. I've to to to to to mean. the the to to to to to me. I've been. I've been. I've to have to have to have to have. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've.riac. I mean, Ricky pretends to be, but I genuinely was petrified.

That doesn't make sense, does it? How can you pretend to be hyperconduant, no? I am a hyperconduct, no I am a, I am a hypochondriac and you are genuinely always, you're always sort of, you're sort of, so, I'm justified. So, I'm just just just, I, I, I'm just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does. How, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does. How. How, does. How, does. How. How, does. How, does. How. How, does, does, does. How, does, does. How. How, does, does. How, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How. How, how, how, how, how, how. How. How. t. t. t. to. to. to. t. to. th. th. to. th. th. to. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. no he hasn't got normal sort of barriers to sort of flu and cold. So his immune system is all... Claire, look it in. I'm quite a weak child. I'll probably die in Garret having written some bloody brilliant poetry. Yeah, I've died of consumption yeah. But anyway so I went online to check out what exactly the symptoms of the SARS virus were and seriously I was so panicked and I went straight online and it was exactly what I. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah................. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I was a. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, so, so, so. So, so. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. So, I. I. I. I. the. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. So, I'm. So panicked, I went straight online and it was exactly what I had. It's a strain of flu, that's why. Exactly, exactly, that was the thing, and that's what I had. So I was thinking to myself, because it said the incubation period was between

two and seven days, I thought, well what have I been that I could maybe have contact with people from and then I thought, wait a minute, Bafter, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that, I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, I that, I that that that that that was that that that that that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I was, that I was, that I was, that I was, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that is.. That, that is. That, that is. that is that is that is a that is a that is a that is a th. thi. thi, that was thi, thi. that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is a that is a that is a that is Yeah. Wait a minute that makes sense. Yeah. And so I was suddenly getting a little bit eggy because I mean there's a lot of there was a lot of people there's like 1,500 people at the Bafters. So I mean any one of them could be carrying it. Yeah. So I was really just panicked. But you know I didn't immediately rush to the doctors. No. Because you've got to wait for ages. Because. their. to. to. to. their. to. to. to. their. their. to. their. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. I. I'm. their. their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the. So, the. So, the. So, the. So. So, the. So, the. So. So, the. So. So, the. So. So. So, the. So, queue up for ages because it's down in the Swiss cottage where I live and I'll tell you there's some dregs in there in the waiting room. Oh man, I've people who've just gone in there to read the magazines and they just sat there. Oh there's some people who just waste the doctor's time. That's what it's all. their lot of all people. A lot of all people of people people people people people people people people of people of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of saga of sa sagagagagagagu sagu sagu sagu sagu. their their their their their their their their their they're just people people are people people people are just waste people's their they's people people's people's they's they's they's they're just waste people's their their their their their their their their their they're just waste people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people's just waste people. they's just just just just just. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I've just. I've just. in and I'll tell you what you look around and you think, oh look at all these people.

They should be, there's hardly of any of them won't handcuff to someone. Exactly. You know what I mean? You go to casualty night and it's like, oh, awful. And there's, I mean, it's like killer disease but you know I'm not making cash. Yeah you don't know if it isn't that's money wasted. You don't get your money back did I really need him to say you've got the deadly SARS virus for it to be worth the 80 quid. Exactly. And as I suspected that you know it's 50-50 I decided not I decided you're right, you're alright. You're alright.

I'm okay so... Yeah, yeah, well that's, that's lucky. So um... I know, so I phoned him up, I said I don't think I can work. And I mean, Ricky's a close friend, man, I've known him for a time now, and I really consider him one of my best mates, but that was the kind of, that was the sort of underlying suggestion. No, I just thought, to be honest, I thought I could do it with a day off as well. Yeah, don't mean, I thought, oh, well, well, don't worry then, don't worry then, don't have, don't worry, their, then, then, then, then, tie, tie, tie, tie, their, tie, their, their, the w... Ten, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, don't the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. That, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their... That, their. That, their. That, their. We. That's, tho. Wea. Wea. Wea. We're, today. thea. tho. tho. that's, that's, their, the, I don't know, I don't get things seen to so it's just been hurt from my tie my shoelaces.

That's why I'm wearing clogs. It's so much easier, draw string trousers and clogs, you know. You used to go to the doctor a lot more though, you don't tend to do it now. Well I'm not parallel anymore. I had two flashes of my mom died a cancer. Twice I think I said there's a lump. I've been to the doctors twice with him. Yeah. I've been to the doctor's twice with him. Yeah. I've been seriously sat in a waiting room with him twice. Well I just I just I thought I thought oh god I felt they didn't should point out that Ricky's mother didn't die to testicular cancer that it just yeah no no but I had it I thought I thought I've

got it now and I think I went along once with testicular cancer didn't I yeah yeah you had the testy problem once I remember yeah yeah I remember sitting in the waiting room looking through an old Argos catalog with you for some I thin I think thin I th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I think th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I think think think think th I th I th I thin I th I th I th I th I that that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I think think think think think think think think think thin I think think think think think think think think thin I think thee I thin I the I thin I the I the I the I yeah, because I think you had a bit of a sore probe in New York. But now I think, I'm over that, I was just like, yeah, I sent me a bit. So, but yeah, it's just a bad bag. Why were you figuring around down below? Because I mean, it wasn't like, it wasn't like, it wasn't like, it wasn't like, it wasn't like, I've got to rush to do the doctor. I thi's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, yeah, I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, yeah, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, yeah, I, yeah, I, yeah, I, yeah, I, yeah, I, I, yeah, I, I, I, I, yeah, I, yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm never sure. But during the day, I mean how to do that when you first get on the first, but not in a restaurant when we're eating dinner. Yeah, but you're not, you know, we have a sharom to the day. Exactly. That confusing, I don't know where the hands were. You put the right off my meatballs. Oh dear. Oh dear. But Ricky just a clear at it. You are okay. Yeah, just a bad back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, that. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, just a bad back. Yeah, let's have a record, shall we? A bit of Bruce Winsley, be lovely. Cheering breaks and pain killer on XFM 104.9, Wiccage Evayes, Steve Merchant, Claire Sturges.

Yeah, no, it's this, good to be here. I'm missing, I'm missing, hearing Carl. Shouldn't mention him, because people remember them, they go, oh yeah. How are you strenthau. th. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.................................................to you. I'm very well thank you yeah. Do you look forward to these occasions when you get to standing for Carl? I get a little bit nervous. Is it intimidating? It is no it's a bit intimidated because he's such a funny man. But you know what he's up here I'm okay. No he doesn't know, yeah. It's not all down there, is it? No, exactly, yeah. No, no, it'd be fine. It's only an hour and a half to go would be okay. Can we talk about, um, can we talk about,

I don't want to talk about, you know, with the awards and everything? Oh, I don't like to know how many one? Well of course we want, well I know how many one does though Claire. How many did you win Steve? You might want to remind you. One in all or what? Do you mean this year and last year? It's two now, two last year, four in all. So it's four all. Two of those are Ricky's specifically his. No, Steve, what I never mind all that.

One, it's actually, I bought it for a photo shoot because I'm doing this thing, I've got a DVD coming out in October and I'm doing a spoof of the front cover of a thriller. So I bought a white suit and I thought well I might as well wear that then now and get it dry clean. I thought you blagged racing. And I thought, I thought, I thought I looked a bit like Sean Connery is James Bond. Apparently I look like tattoo from Fantasy Island. The little midget guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, you know, I did watch it back and there are some resumlance. At one point I did go, I did plan. Yeah, yeah. I thought, well I, because I, and he suggested he was going to wear it, I said that's crazy, I said it's madness.

Because it just, I knew it would come back and haunt him. I just, it's just, I got away it though. Well, did you know, I said, well, I said, I mean, no, no, I'm going to the black shirt. He said, he said, right. He went, you should do it the white shirt and the white shirt. I said, he went, you know, do that whole round of the hopcrow thing. And I went, that's what I'm worried about. He went, what, you're worried people to think you're a ghost. I mean, pathetic. I mean, pathetic. If you're a celebrity, somehow you're allowed to wear like nonsense outrageous clothes

because it's kind of expected of you because you know you're a public time. It wasn't meant to it. It wasn't like Graham Norton going in curtains or Jonathan Ross dressed up as long as well and Bowen it was just a white suit isn't it? It was just a thing of, you know. I am. It's cheeky Ricky Jemise. Look what I was. It was going to greet me and throw up immediately. It was like I had to keep away from people. And what you're sitting on. But I tell you what, I think it worked with Ann Robinson, didn't it? She winked at you when she liked you. She just can't stop that. She managed it into a catch-free. But you made her giggle like a little school girl. I knew it was a new show called Look Who's Coming to Dinner and the premise is I choose sort of six heroes that are alive and so I knew it was all right so I didn't just go out there and start insulting this poor middle age woman I sort of knew

she could take a joke she's all right she's obviously obviously obviously she's not really like that so yeah but I love the way she just giggled like a little girl I think she's better the the the the the the the the the th she's th she's th she's th she's th she's th she's th she's th so th so th so th so th th th so th so th th th th is th so th so tho tho tho tho tho she's obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously th so obviously th so obviously obviously obviously th so obviously th so obviously obviously obviously th so obviously obviously obviously the the the their their their their their their obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously they she's the they she's the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi thooooooooooooooooooooo's thoo's obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously obviously she I love the way she just giggled like a little girl. I think she was quite good actually. I think it's better when she sort of went liberal. I don't think she's as good when she's sort of got lines and she's hitting marks. She's quite good when she sort of, like when Peter Kay came on, she went, have you dyed your hair? And you went, what sort of talk is that? What, what? was good though. What? But, peace or war. I just hate it when, oh god, celebrities get their political, I've got to say something political, because there's all that suffering

the world. And I don't know, it's like those things you see in the papers where it's it's got, uh, general elections or war and it's got a picture of Billy Piper, just a picture and she goes, Labour. Or, yeah, it's got, you know, Ross, th. Ross, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I' thi, I' th. thi, I've thi, I' thi, I've thi, I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, I' th. I' th. I' th. I' their, I I, I, I, I, I I I, I, I I I I I, I I' th. I I I I I I I' th. I I I' th. I' th. I, I, I, I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I'm, I'm, I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've tho, I've tho, I've tho, got you know Ross Kemp no to war yeah but when would that when would that be influential no idea it's sort of like you go someone's going to do what do you think a war I go war I don't know I've made you mind up well no it's difficult isn't it is it well yeah you know because on the one hand you know the one hand you can the one the the one hand you can't that that that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's is is is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the one hand you could say that war is wrong because it's of course suffering, but on the other hand, you know, that's a knee-jerk reaction and some wars are justified, you know, stopping, you know, fascism or whatever and you know, like pacifism, sometimes you have to, a tough defence so it's not clear and got to go, okay, let's make it easier for you.

What do you think of the little black one? That's me. That's me done then. Exactly. Is that helps where you're... Yeah, I don't know when it is influential. Remember when the, uh, that young au pair was over in, um, in America and she got, she got arrested for the, the murder or the death rather of that, of that young child? I forget her name. Do you remember that story? Louise Woodward? Well, do you remember there was a whole section in the paper where there? there? there? there? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, uh, uh, uh, that, that, that, that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, when, when, when, when, when, when, that, when, when, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, there where there was some I think it was members of Coronation Street saying really sir please release her I remember you said you fancied her who's that you said you fanced there when it was all up I would I would love you to go out with Louise Woodward the thing about I'm what she doing now the thing about wooders is that she um there was my suspicion was my suspicion was my I thus the suspicion was my suspicion was that the the th was th was the the thus the thus the thus the thus the the thus thus the thus the thus thus the thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus the the the the the the the the the thus. the the the the thus. thus. the the thus. the the thus. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the thus thus. the the thus. thus. thus. the thus. I was the thus. I was thus. I was thus. I thus. I thus. I thus. I thus. I the. I the. I thus. I thus. I the. I thus. I thus. I thus. I thus. I thus. I th with Louise Woodward. The thing about Wooders, what's she doing now? The thing about Wooders is that she, um... My suspicion was, my suspicion was that when she came back and she'd been cleared of it,

they'd still cleared of it. Yes, she was. No, she was. I think she, I think she was manslaughter. I think. I'm not sure about this. We're not tutoring on the edge of getting money. If someone knows, call up, you know, we don't know this. So don't, I think you're right. Well either way, it was a tragic accident and she wasn't a motorist, that was the clear point. And it just struck me that, um of Monroe's on a Wednesday night, you know, looking for a dance. Probably there weren't going to be a lot of guys queuing up for it because they were conscious that you know she had a certain reputation.

Whereas Ding Dong, gentleman Steve, I'm happy to step in. You know what? You know, I'd let her baby sit because she lawyer and we've said something wrong let us know now we'll apologize quickly. Yeah, you know. But no, anyways, good luck to you. Louise, it's right there listening, good luck and you know Ricky. Jovey's XFM dot Kok okay that's not my name I don't want my name attached in case. Yeah you. You're you. You. You. You. You I I I I I I I I I I I I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm they. I'm they. I's you're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm the. Wait, the. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, thi. Wait, in case. Get in touch. Yeah. You're free tonight, aren't you? Yeah, I'm free. I'm free. I'm free for the next eight years. Play a record.

Sure, sure, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, ten story love stong. Yeah, ten story love stong. Yeah, ten story love stong from the stone from the stone dozies. So it's not, it's not. it's not it's not and I tell you it also because I'm a little under the weather still so that's why yeah that's my excuse. You've had a week off concentrate. I mean I've got cable TV but there is nothing on is there in the daytime it is just I mean I loved today with Des and Mal that's good I love it when he pops up. Jopisquilis an absolute joke. I know people spying off jokes. Without irony, I really like Jopisquillain. Do you know him?

Now I haven't know, but I really, really like him, I think. He's really funny. He's really funny. Yeah, I always like his jokes. One of like jokes. But I only caught the end the other day, but it was brilliant. Des was singing, a medley of buddy holly songs. He doesn't quite sing, does he? It's like, it's like pulling your punch. It's like pulling your punch. It's most most most, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the th, I th, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I only only only only only only only only, I, I, I, I, I, I only, I only only only only, I only, I, I, I only, I only, I only, I only, I only, I only, I only only only, I only only only only only only only only only only, I only only only only only only only only, I, I, I only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only, I, I, I, I, I, I, I only only only only only only only only only only only only, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I only, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. It, I th. It, I only, you know he can't, he can't actually. He's not actually singing, it's talking.

It's kind of talking the words. Yeah, but he knew Buddy apparently and he toured with him. I am an anti-cry. Oh, and he's never quite finished. It's lovely. No, he's got no, like he's got no breath. But it's the adverts in between the next things. It's doing well, isn't he? Yeah. No, I mean, you know, he's a good different.

Sorry, who's 73? Des O'Connor? Is he seriously? Yeah, I think so. Amazing. Yeah, it's doing well. Yeah, it's doing well. Yeah, I'm to touch, sorry. I'm sorry, that's the same. I'd love to see him in a view Louise Woodward. Yeah, indeed. Do you want to hear some Louise Woodward, how about some calls? But I don't know if they're true or not though, do you? What do you hear?

Well, I think one of the, that would be something law? No, we mustn't say that. No, we wouldn't say that. But I'm sure I read that because she knows so much about it now. She decided to go and study itself. But she has been spotted in various parts of the country selling all manner of things. Okay, brilliant. So who knows? What door to door? Exactly. I'm from mother care. We've got to stop this now. It's not bad. It's all water end the bridge. Um, anyway, let's play a record. Let's play a record.

No, I'll talk about it later. We're scared now. We've just got ourselves in trouble. I think we just need to go and consult our audience. What do you like to go on Peter Gabriel? Oh, this is a beautiful track. this is Salisbury Hill. Peter Gabriel, what a lovely track that is. Salisbury, on XFM, 104.9, Rickard Gervais, Steve Merchant, Claire Sturgis. You know if Carl was here? Do you know what he'd want now? Probably ad to some ad? Probably

ad to some now. Oh, it's what Carl would have wanted? Okay. For Carl then some ads. Excellent. Placebo and Bitter End. XFM, 104.9, Richard Bays, Steve Merchant. Claire Serge, is in for Carl Pilkington. It's in Madera. Indeed. Is that where the cakes from? Yep. It's named after, yeah.

Excellent. It's nice, nice, lovely. I don't know where Madeira is. It's sort of off Africa. Okay. But it's I think Portuguese. There are a lot of old people there. There are a lot of old. He's essentially a 50 year old man in the body of a 30 year old. I know yeah. I think it is. Where it's Ricky Gerees? Whoa. Party by the pole it was. It was actually really good. I'd much prefer that. Then we went to Greece once and we wandered in the place in in this in this in the place in this in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place in the place the place the place the place their old old people the old people of old people of old people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people of old people of old people of old people there there there there there there to go. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. the place. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the Paul it was. It was actually really good. I actually I'd much prefer that than we went to Greece once and we wandered in this place by mistake going through this and it was just full of people in Everton shirts and Liverpool shirts and just drinking lager. Oh, where's

the fun in that? And just I can't, the idea of Buckling's millions, just millions of families screaming around would drive me mental. Bullins is the most extraordinary place I've ever been to. I went there with a bunch of friends. We can't slag it off, but I mean not Buckling specifically, just anything. No, I'm not slagging Buckling. It was an extraordinary. It's an extraordinary.

It's an extraordinary. It's an extraordinary. So you're walking theribute band to status quo playing. Really? It was extraordinary. So you're walking the swind doors, right, right, right? And then status quo playing and everyone else is all the staff dressed in K-boy outfits and kai-kits serving drinks. I've told you this before, but I sneaked into butlin's. We sneaked in one night and we didn't know what was on and they were serving lager and chips and there's they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were their they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were their their there's just loads of families and lots of northern men in short sleeve shirts and kids running around and so on and they just arranged the chairs in the sort of dance hall and they went and now the gentleman the entertainment

for this evening is David Copperfield not the magician and it was a bloke from three of a kind of course he came out he did it all he did all he did all the jokes he did all the bloke from three of a kind. He came out. He did all, he did all the jokes, he did all the, Hello, you're nice, you know, to people in the audience. And then his finale was he still in a chair because there wasn't a stage and he did classical gas, seriously, on guitar. And then they closed it went out right, and he went, thanks and he went off and they stopped clapping and he he and he he and he he and he he and he he and he he and he he and he he and he he and he to to to the and he to their their to get his jacket. Oh dear! Oh no! Yeah, okay. There was also a girl boy duo and blue sat in called joint effort, which I was loving.

And at the end, right, it was on, I think it was on a Saturday night, so people were leaving sort of the next day, or Friday night, they were leaving the next day. And the kids and that were sort of like going to red coats and they were the to to to the to to to the to the to to their their their their to their their their thoom. Oh their thoomfiethift. Oh, thoomere. Oh, thoomere. Oh, thoom. Oh, thoomere. Oh, toyn' thoom. Oh, thoom. Oh, thoom. Oh, thoom. Oh, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. Oh, too. Oh, too. Oh, too. Oh, too. Oh, tie. Oh, tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. te, too, too, ttttttttttttoo. tttoo-s, and too-s, too-s, too-s, too-s, tooe-s, tooe. tooe. toollia. Friday night they leave in the next day, and the kids and that were sort of like going to red coats and they were crying, right? And all the red coats and joint effort and they did we are the world. Oh wow! Amazing. What an amazing night that was. Yeah. They are incredible places. Yeah. Joint effort. I saw a documentary, I'm sure I saw a documentary, which is finding out what the likes of David Copperfield are up to now. Is it, yeah.

And he was a Thatcher, wasn't he, wasn't he, mending roofs? I think so, yeah, I think you're right. And I'm sure I saw him saying, they said, would you not, you know, would you not want to be back on prime time the. and he. and he. and he. and he. and he. And he, and he, and he, and he, and he, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, said he got to the point where I prefer to sell burgers than records. No you didn't. You never preferred selling burgers, David. Have you watched any of the Reborn in the Olse? I love it.

See, I've missed it and I've gutted. It's Hadley or Cox. Who's Clocks? We close our eyes, we never do him. What band is that? What band is that? Go West. Go West. Yeah, he's probably the best singer in a sort of stand-up cabway way. How does it work? Do they get voted out as they go around? Yeah.

Sorry, Sonia's gone. No, they're two, two, from the studio audience, two are nominated, I think the lowest, I think, I the lowest, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, probably, probably, their, probably, their, their, their, their, probably, probably, probably, their, probably, probably, probably, their, probably, their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, is, their, their, probably, their, probably, their, their, their, probably, their, their, their, their, their, probably, is probably, their, probably, their, probably, probably, their, is probably, their, in Britain, vote one back on the bus. Can I just ask why they're doing it in the States? Why didn't they just do it in this country? Well, because it was meant to be relaunched their career without prejudice, I assume. And also as an excuse to go to America I suppose and people not know them. Although fame is creeping in. I think a lot of people recognize Tony Hadley. Yes. So, no, but, um... Is he as good as ever? He's fine. It's a bit dramatic, but it's alright. Now from your sort of, your brief pop face,

yeah, only these faces familiar to you? Did you ever bump into them? Oh no, but, no, no. You never hung out with the same house. didn't you have a running with Box Fizz? Oh yeah, once, well once when we were going up to do, we were going up to do a TV show and our, our, our, our man had just forgotten about us and we were there and we were at the airport we didn't have the tickets and so Bucks Fizz were doing the same show and I remember they tried to smuggle us through. They had sort of like them and their crew and they just like showed us the tickets and

they went, well like that would work. They went, oh, okay, sorry. The two girls stand in the lobby and whip off those skirts. Everyone was side trapped while, I am taller now. You're not taller if the flesh and your eye on top of the pops. Yeah, yeah. And fatter. I wasn't fat then.

You won't fat then. Yeah, no, but I love it. And the other thing I've been watching is American Pop Idol. Right. really good yeah. This is Simon Cowell. Ruben's going to win. Is that the one that Jerry Halliwell is part of? No, no, this is Riley Jackson, what's up Darg? Paula Abdul and Simon Cal. But Simon Cowl makes so much more sense in that context. Because they're all, you know, you know you're great. And they do people, they stand up and they clap and he goes they'll sit down it was all right. And it makes th. Simon. Simon. th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. S. S. th. S. S. th. S. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So. So. So. So. So................................................................................ So. So.. So. So. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So. So, th. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, they'll sit down, it was all right. And it makes so much more sense. You know what I mean? Over here it's a bit of a pantomime, sort of drama queen. But over there, he's suddenly the voice of reason. Exactly, yeah.

But that's the trash TV that I watched. Yeah, but no, Reborn's funny. But again, once again, public are stupid. They voted out dollar that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua. thus. thus. thus. thus. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's sort, he's sort sort sort sort sort sort sort, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he. He. He, he. He. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he's, he's, he's, he's sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's the the the voice, is, is, is sort of, is sort of, is the voice. the voice. the the the the the voice. the the the was driving everyone mad and there was fights. They... Really? Because they really were not as to Sonia. Oh yeah, they really went for it. They voted out Chris UBank. Yeah, and Celebrity Brother. Keep them in. I don't think the public should be allowed to vote on TV shows. I don't think they know what's best for them. It does strike me that like in the golden age of East Anders if people had said do you want to vote out dirty day and they'd have gone yeah he's nasty. I know yeah that's that confusion either with entertainment

and punished it people yeah they should keep them in and then make them lose yeah yeah so you've had all the best of both worlds. What about the new celebrity I'm a celebrity get me out? Now who's in that? Daniela Westbrook yeah yeah. the one from? I'm I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm a. I'm a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm a the th. I'm a th. I'm a the the the the the the the their. I'm a their. I'm a their. I'm a that's. I'm a that's. I'm a that's. I'm a that's. I'm a that's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm a th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Don't know her. Yeah, exactly. Anthony Worrell Thompson, why? Why does he want to? You got some of the cook, ain't you? That's what the girls are there for. Yeah, the girl from changing rooms.

Yeah. Oh, Phil Tuffinth. Phil Tuffinel Cricketer. I'm going to put some money on him to win I reckon he's going to win because apparently sort of funny and nice and everything. And yeah. Would you ever do any of those? Absolutely not. No.

I do think, I genuinely think if you were in the celebrity big brother, I would have voted out. Yeah, it would be, it would be before, it would be before, it would be before, it would be before, it would be before, it would be before the public. Yeah, it would be, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, would be, would be, would be, would be, would, would be, would be, would be, would be, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would be, would be, would be, would be, would be, would be, would be, would be, would be, would be, would be, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, absolutely...... Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would, would be, would be, would, the. It. Yeah. the'd have left. I might win by default. They'd all climbed over the roof like that by Sandy. Yeah. Yeah. They were all climbed out like within the first 10 minutes. I saw Sandy the other day actually. Still on the run. Is it? Still on the run. Get off my roof. Stop running! I got really excited. Really? Does he look like a one bat up close? No he looks he's really good looking. I'm seriously. I saw him in in the in in in in in in in in in in in in in the. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. Get. the. the, get. the, get. the, get. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Get. Get the the the the the the the the the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the, the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. he looks, he's really good looking. Shut it up! No, seriously! I saw him in the hat section at Selfages because he's a personal shopper, telling me they look

pictures. Yeah, well Jane where there's specifically to meet Sandy. No, did she? Is he really excited? What is he watching there? Yeah, he's called himself Alex now. What? He's not about to call him soundly, that selfages wouldn't... What should we say and get him sacked? Get him voted out of the salvages household. Oh, I'd love to do that. Oh, I'd love to do that. Oh, I'd love to do that. Oh,

Oh, I'd like... Oh, you'd... That's... That's... That's... That's. That's... That's... That's... That's... That's... That's... That's... That's... That's... Oh, that. That's... Oh, the... Oh, the... Oh, the... Oh, the... Oh, the... Oh, the... Oh, the... Oh, the... Oh, to... Oh. Oh. Oh, the... Oh, to... Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, to... Oh, what... Oh, what... Oh, what... Oh, what... Oh, what... Oh, what... Oh, what... Oh, what... Oh, what... Oh. Oh, what... Oh. Oh. Oh, what... Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the... Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the... Oh, the... Oh, that's... Oh, that's... the... the... that's... the... the... the... the... th. the... th. the... the... Oh, the... What. the... What... What's... What... the do that. Oh I'd love to do that. Man are like. Is that no one of the trolley? No, you just say... Could I get one of those your waitress? No, no, it's just, it's like asking an assistant. You go, I need some black trousers and some brown shoes and this rains and they go, okay, and they go and get your arran't. So you don't have to go, it's it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's just, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it? It's not... No, no, you don't pay for the service, you pay for the clothes if you buy them. It's not, yeah, it's not like... Lady Dye having that Harrod's opened for her. So I could walk in there and get Sandy... Of course, you could. Steve, let's do it. In fact, I'd love you to. their today. But, they's, they, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the, the, the, the, lady. the, lady. that. Well seriously so there'd be people queuing up wouldn't there? Well why? Selfage, you can't, people don't go and shop in Selfages for the sake of it to meet Sandy do they? No but to get a personal shopper? Why wasn't it, why wouldn't everyone have? I don't understand why everyone would do it? If they can't? Oh Steve, you can't think people realize that suit you got for 97 pounds. It's a lot more expensive than that. What? I can't five? Yeah, you can't get shoes for 29 pounds in there. I'm not bothering. No exactly, you see, that's where you're going to come unstuck. I'd love a great record now, Claire. Okay. I've gone back to Bristol this weekend. I am going to be, I've got a hundred pounds to spend so. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get th. I'm looking to get to get to get to get to get to get th. I'm going to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get th. I'm th. I'm to get th. I'm to get to get to get to get to get to get th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. Possibly, you know, I think my sister's back.

Ha-ha-a-haired. The new single from Radiohead. What do you make of it? I love Radiohead, so I'm prejudiced and I'd like just to write everything they do. You know, I still play the Benz regularly. I had to replace it on CD because I wore it out. I just think it's amazing. I think they're great. They're coming in aren't they? Yeah, well they're coming in a couple of two of my favorites are doing Zoe in a few weeks and I think Tom York is going to be doing John Kennedy on exposure doing one of those album playbacks where he comes in and I think he's so shy as well. He came into you do once and he was just so shy hated all because people were looking at him. uh, he's great, he's brilliant. A toast! Funny little fella. Happy Easter, Tom, all that. Don't eat too many eggs, boys. Oh, calm down you crazy guys. Now I was talking earlier about the fact, because I've been ill

this week and so I've just been lying on the sofa, you know, doced up. I was a bit feverish as well in the week and I at one point I had a real kind of movie, if I mean I like to be like you're in the movies and I was tossing and turning in bed I had the fever I was waking out I was sweating all sorts and all sorts and I keep waking up really, and I'm watching daytime TV in the day today, all of the times and the adverts that you see in the day the the adverts and I. and I. and I I I I. and I I I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, they.. And, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, it and so I don't get to see TV in the day much and the adverts it's not average you see at night in during it's they're incredible and it's like was it for surgical stockings well there's a lot of them are either aimed at people who who basically are waiting to die right it would seem or I love that advert waiting to die well they are a bit like that I mean there's a couple a couple a couple a couple a the the the the the they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a they're a the they're a they're a they're a their I their I their I they I their I'm their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I their I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're not I'll they're not to th to try try try to try try to th th th th th thi to they they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they are a bit like that. I mean there's a couple there's one with Christopher Timothy, he sat in a pub on his own, just having a pint in the afternoon. I think this was before he, I think it's before he became a doctor. He's having a part on his own looking through

the you know the job ads. He's had a good career vet doctor. I think he's always wanted to play a lawyer. Yeah and he basically says, you know, you're probably getting on a bit, you're not going to be around forever, you could drop dead tomorrow, have you made provisions for your children and your family and your wife? And I think you at home was supposed to have, oh Christ I haven't. And I was feeling my testicles earlier they are a bit lumpy. Oh no, I had to bend down, to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, I'm, their, their, their, their, I'm, their, I'm, their, their, I'm, their, I'm, their, their, you, you're to, you're to to to to to to tho, you're thin, you're to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be tho, you're, you're tho, you're tho, you're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, you th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, you, you, you're thi, you're thi, you're thin, you're not thin, you're not theree, you're not theree. theree. theea, you're not thea, you're not to to to thea, you're not to thea, you're not thi, you know, or I've got to bend down quite low to feel them. Exactly. So, you know, I am getting on a bit. Exactly. In fact, what I do now is pull them towards me and kick them up like Beckham with a ball. And on the way back down I have a quick feel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or when the kids come to visit, where have you put them? Where have you put them?

We put them on the mountain, oh you little devil's go on with you. Do you want a Worthers Original? And that's another advert you see constantly Worther's Originals. But so they've got those, and then they've got the adverts which I always love, which are adverts for any kind of, you know, claims direct or any of those things. It's just, invariably there's a reconstruction of an accident that might have happened, someone tripping over a paving slab. There's one which is particularly chilling of a guy who, I think he's with this kid watching football and he's thinking, oh I bet you, he's looking, he's thinking I wish I could join in. And it flashes back and there he is up a ladder on a very shiny surface with, with the the thiiiiiiiiiiiii, and there, and there, thi, and there, and there, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, there, there's there, thi, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there is there, there is there is there, there is there is there, there's there's there's thi, thi's thi's thrashi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thrashi's there's one there's there's there's trouble. Frankly I blame him and then it topples for no reason I don't know why it topples, wind let's say. Whenever I see it I always say he never walks again.

He falls off it. Did he smash his face in? Did he fall on a spike? Because if he's going to go up that ladder on a shiny service with no one holding it right? Did he he he he he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did he did. did. did. did. did. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he. Did he right did he fall did he crack did he fall backwards on his head the little worse still right did he did he do the splits and crush his nuts worse than that one he made a considerable lump sum of cash thanks to the uh oh god oh no oh no all right his negligence has seen in three grand watching was Steve was there a yokel with a pitchfork looking up as he fell on it? Nothing.

Oh, for... He fell off. I think he must have bruised his ankle or strained a ligand. That's not enough. That hasn't taught him anything. Well it's not to him a lesson. In fact, if anything, it is encouraging him to be more more more more more just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just more more more more more more more more more more just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to be encouraging him to be encouraging him to be more to be more to be encouraging him to be more to be more to be encouraging him to be encouraging him you're going to dish out five, three, five grand willy-nilly to these people, these lunatics, these oafes, these simpletons. Do you know what my favorite adverts was the one in sort of the back of those

glossy magazines you get given away and it was always an old woman and she'd fallen like in her in her front porch or whatever and she was just reaching out but she was too weak to reach the phone so it was like you carry a little button around with you that you press. I love the idea of that she looked so vulnerable. Oh that was my idea. I always feel with those claims adverts that it's almost like saying I'm not going to say it explicitly here are some ideas for you you you. Could you have paving slabs, is there one near you? Yeah. Could you have a little trip? Exactly, yeah. If you've got a step ladder? Yeah. I'm not saying

anything but maybe, read between the lines. Shiny floor. There is money to be made. There is money to be made. Do you have some adverts in the back of those. Do you remember innovations catalog? Well I just read this week, the innovations catalog is being it's being closed down. Gutted. Yeah. Is it really? It used to go to something like, something like 50 million homes or something. I love the innovations catalog. I do you do think what I could do with that because I want... I have never thought that. I do. I want the power packs and hoverboards and things that like to see through walls just that for 1990 they don't work do they I bought oxygen I did you really I I bought oxygen because I mean you bought well me my mate was sort of like when it was about like I don't know night in 87 and me and my my mate and we were doing distant long

distance running together we were try andto get good, and I thought I just have some oxygen before the race. What did you mean some oxygen? It's there, free in the air? No, you know, a big canisters. A canister of oxytony of oxygen? It didn't work. It just smelled like you're sniffing mint. I didn't, I couldn't get know why. I can't remember. I don't know, I can't remember. It was rubbish. It was rubbish. Why did you buy it then? I mean

he was at least doing a job. Doing the job. I was, yeah, I was, it was done training. Because the problem with the innovations catalog is that for the few idiots that buy stuff like you, there are hundreds, thousands who just looked through it and laughed at the absurdity of, you know, a motorised tie rack. I bought the ABS master. Who is some things that they need that? Yeah. Yeah. The ABS master. I worked for a while, answering the mail, opening the mail for a returns. It wasn't the innovations people, but it was a much, if the middle, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, ab ab-a.............. ab-a. ab-a. ab-a. ab-a, the, you know, you know, the, the innovations people, but it was a much if that's the kind of middle class version, this was a very much more working class thing. It was you know how to get hot dogs out of a tin and all the rest of it. And there was stuff in there was incredible. There was one item that was in the catalog and it was, I know, like me, like me, you've probably thought, like me, like me, you've probably thi, you've you, you've probably, you've probably, you've probably, you've probably, you've probably, like, you've probably, you've probably, like, you've probably, like, you've probably, you've probably, like, like, you've probably, you've probably, like, you've probably, you've probably, like, like, you've probably, like, like, you've probably, you've probably, you've probably, you've probably, like, like, you've probably, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to to know, to, to, to, to, to, to, how, how, how, how, how to, how, how to, how to boil the kettle and fill up my hot water bottle. You thought that takes upwards of a minute and a half to do. What I need is some kind of state of

the art kind of plastic container with some kind of blue gel inside which I put in the microwave and that keeps up right so that was what this device was you put in the microwave you buzz it in there for like 30 seconds saving yourself you know a minute of preparation. And we used to get them sent back, I swear to God they would send that, they'd be split, old women saying, I'd keep doing something in the microwave, I went to sleep, it split us under and the blue gels scorched my legs, I've got third degree burns, and would you know what we used to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do their their s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s sa, their s' their, their, their, their, their, I, you, you, you're, you're their, their, you're s' their, you their, you their, and we're their, and we're their, and we's, and we their, and we their, and we their, and we their, and we their, and we their, and we their, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's their, I's their, I's their, I's their, I's their me, I's their me, I's their, I's tho, I've the.. And, I've theateat-a' thoomoomea'ea'eat-a'eat-a'eat, I've thoome.. And what we used to do? I used to say, do they not sue over this stuff? And they told me, they said, they never should. They're not, they're old ladies, they don't realize they can sue.

What we normally do is send them a replacement. So what we normally do thinne. I mean unbelievable, unbelievable, sometimes I always felt a lot. A new pair of tights at least. And sheets, bed sheets, yeah. Oh dear. Imagine that though. I did Davinabs master. Well those things that you know you try it on. Jane bought it for me for a birthday once.

And that, the electrical thing, you put it on. The electrical thing, the electric thing. try it, put it round you, it sticks to your body and it's an electrical charge and it's like doing sit-ups. Every time it does it, it's like you're doing sit-up but without you sitting up, right? And at one point I had it on, I've done it for a few weeks and at one point I was laying on the couch in my pants and watching tele drinking a bottle of wine and eating cheese and I don't think I don't think it works like it's, I thinks I thinks I thinks I thinks I thinks I thinks I don't thi I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't thi I don't I don't thi I don't thi I don't thi thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't thin I don't th is I don't th is I don't th is I don't th is like it it's like it's like I don't I don't I don't th is like I don't th is like I don't thin I don't thin I don't the the an the an think it's like don't think it's like don't think I don't think I don't think I don't the an I don't thin I don't thin I don't the greatest invention of all the ties. It's like you can eat and it's kind of working it off for you as your time. I know, yeah. Oh dear. That would be great. I did see one thing in one of those little magazines once and this is hilarious.

What it was, it's a bloke in a wheelchair, right? And then there's another one of him, and it raining so he's got a kogul on that covers him on his wheelchair. Oh no. And just his little face. So it looks like to all you've covered a motorbike in and it's just his little face. I thought that was great. Oh dear.

Oh, oh. The innovation is finished. It's over. It's over. A to a too to the innovation. To the Toaster Innovation. You have provided nothing of much use for 15 years. Oh, Happy Easter. Happy Easter.

I mean, show it's not quite the song? Because you know, Pink Floyd, do you know what they're like? These newfangled sort of trickery and that weirdness. I mean like, yeah. It the the the the the new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. than't than't, thaned, than't, than't, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. too shame. It is a great song. Yeah, but it's too annoying. We've got to stop it. Yeah. Are we putting a pay to it? Oh, it's gone. Yeah. I don't don't know because that always plays fine on my home system so I don't know if it's something that Surges has done. You haven't got your big greasy thumbprints. Have you've got your the greasy What were you eating here? Because I saw you eating a huge hog roast as I came in. And throwing the bones behind her.

Yeah, exactly. Nothing changes, Rickon, no the minute. Oh dear, never mind. Well, that's, see, the problem is. That's the whole show of me. It was going so well. What worries me, Rick is the show is so carefully planned, That's all out. Timings, timing. Advet. Do you think that's any good? People love them. Great.

Ex-homorrow. We're going about tomorrow. Wise words unless you're talking about pension plans. That's Feder on XFM 104. Wisden. Wise-Imbuds. I'm not. Steve Mk. of songs of phrase and monthly news and the other car nonsense you know I'm not

I'm not there's no cheapest chimps it's all right back next week is back next week although let's do it just do a quick cheap as chimps okay chimps okay the competition is this we've got five tickets no I've got five pairs of tickets yeah to give away okay the competition is this we've got five tickets no I've got five pairs of tickets yeah to give away to the new Spike Lee film 25th hour and I've seen this and it's really great it's got Ed Norton in it and Philip Seymour Hoffman really really good it's an 18 certificate so you can only call up and get into this free if you are over 18. Or unless you look 18.

Yeah, let's face it. You're actually looking to ask for ID on the door. But if you look like 14 then it's no chance. And you probably get some fags and beer as well on the way. If you're 16, 17, you look old enough if you've got a bit of facial hair, go for it. Oh, wear a long beard. Yeah, whatever. No, we're not. th. th. th. th. they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're all. they're all. they're they're they're they're they're all. Oh, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. I they're they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I don't th. I don't th. th. th. the. I don't th. I don't they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they to condone that. Please be 18 years or over. It is an illegal offence. Call 0870, 800, 1,234. And as it is such a great film, we're going to do, the competition is this. Do you want to go to this? A, yes, B, no. So, C. I'm not sure I can make it Wednesday. Any chance Thursday? D. I think I'll wait for to come out on video, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to, to, to, to, to, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah, to to thi. Yeah, to, th. Yeah, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi. Yeah, to, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to thi. So, C. I'm not sure I can make it Wednesday. Any chance to Thursday. D. I think I'll wait for the comment on video, you know. E. I don't really like Spike Lee. I'm a racist.

Call in. Call in. So, hang on, we should just point out that, yeah, it's Wednesday at six o'clock. A, yes, B no. C. Wednesday's no as good for me. D. D. I'm waiting for thi. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. I I the the the the the th for th for th for th for th for th for th for the th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th thi. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. I I I the the the the the the to the to the to to the to to to to to the to to to to to to. I I to. I th. I to. I th. I the. I th. I the. D. D'clock. Do we make that clear? Wednesday at 6 o'clock A yes B no C Wednesdays no is good for me D I'm waiting for a car video E I don't like Spike Lee I'm a 6 th that yeah what is it oh eight hundred one two three four that's the number yeah okay bother Claire with that the answer the answer the answer if you want to go that is yeah tell the to to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the the to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to the to the to the to to the the the the th is th is to to th is okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I th I the th I the th I th I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the by the way correct answer. If you want to go that is, tell the truth. I'd love to have some more music. Yeah, it's week, it's week. I feel some Smiths. Really around the fountain. Good choice. Smith's reel around the fountain. XFM, one of four point nine. Well we've given those away then. Yeah it went very well. Have you got enough now? Yeah. Everyone said the correct answer. They're they. Good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the to. to. te. te. te. te. te. the the the the the the the the the the the, yeah. Everyone said the correct answer. They would love to go. One person, actually, who was it? Tom said said C, but his sister Sarah would love to go. So I would love to say, I'm in a siter, I mean, he's over 18. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise that is illegal. that is illegal. Here. the Here's the the rules. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. tho. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the. the. a mood for toasting things. I just I think it's because it's Easter.

Yeah, yeah. And we know what that means, don't we? God bless him. Eggs. Absolutely. We were chatting about the innovations catalog. And it just, because I've just been flipping here through the TV magazine, which comes free with the, with the sun. Is there anything on the back? A plate? A figure? The white trash that must buy this rubbish. I mean, this one, I don't know how you described that there. Oh classy, isn't it? Oh dear. It's a porcelain doll of a young woman. Looks like ginger spice with her hair up in a blue dress. Yeah, it is strictly limited to 9,500. Oh, am I going to get one? Why did you waste time with this show shouldn't I have been calling? Well look, it says, it says, how much is it?

Well, she can be yours for the special half-price offer of just £94.50. Is that all really? You're not winding me up by it, Steve. You're not winding me up, because if I look at it's 940 because I love that porcelain piece of shit for a hundred quid on my shelf. Hang on a minute Rick, let me just read you some of the writer. Oh boy's out, do they think it's art? It's nasty. Oh, I think this blurb will change your mind. Go on then, okay, okay. Her name is, okay, okay. Her name is Dearest Rose.

Oh, and she's portrayed here holding a beautiful... Of course it, th, th, th, th, It's not going to be... Her name is Bert. Dearest Rose is portrayed here holding a beautiful bouquet of roses given to her by her lover. She has gently plucked some of them and placed them in her chestnut hair. She is wearing a gown. Oh that's filthy. well, she's stuffing them under her head. All right, go on. She's wearing a gown of beautiful turquoise silk. Her skirt flows to the floor and from beneath it you can see her dainty shoe just peeping out, get decorated with a tiny handmade rose. That is brilliant. And it is beautiful in it. And you can pay 9 pounds 45 a month for 10 months. And that can be yours. And I thi that I I I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's th. that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. that's that's that's the is that's that's theean. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. that can be yours and I think you'll agree it is just beautiful. I mean the best one I've ever seen there was one that there was a doll,

right, like a really doll, you know a horrible scary doll and it was something like you know a hundred pounds and it said call your family and tell him it's a girl. And I just imagined this 45 year old woman with bunches and and rouge on her hair still dressed in her ballerine raffer going I've had a baby mother. You have a... I have it's a bloody baby! Why do you hate me? It's a doll. Why do you hate me? I mean what sort of people are they praying on? I just had a baby. Sorry? Call the doctor. You call the doctor. Don't call the doctor. I've had a bloody baby!

Well I remember seeing one which just was extraordinary. I mean again I'm thinking specifically of the people that buy it. It was about three foot tall. It was I think again made a porcelain or possibly plastic. It was a baby. It was like a sort of it was like a one year old baby. that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the the th. th. the the the the th. the to to to call. to call. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He the doctor. He. the doctor. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the th. the th. the the the the It was I think again made a porcelain or possibly plastic. It was a baby it was like a sort of it was like a kind of one year old baby like that was the design wearing a Harley Davidson biker outfit. I mean the scum I saw recently was flipping through one it was wedding the cap the jacket the nappy. It was a selection of exclusive wedding rings. Rather like Marlon. Yeah. I mean the scum, I saw recently, it was flipping through one, it was wedding rings, it was a selection of exclusive wedding rings. Imagine giving this, imagine getting on one knee and giving your beloved a themed Lord of the ring, Lord of the ring wedding ring. Oh that is brilliant. Will you be my wife, better still my troll? Oh dear. I mean the scum that must be, that they're praying on, like you say.

I mean, unbelievable. It's those sort of houses that I remember going into as a child sometimes, you met a friend from school and it's going to their house and it was like a shrine. I remember some people kept the polythene on their three-piece suite. There was someone you weren't allowed in the front room, like we couldn't go in the front room, and it's sort you look around and there's all these dolls and that, and it's just like, oh God, scary, what in God's name happens in this house after dark? You know what I mean? But the people who keep the poli on their sofas, who are you waiting for? What the day? the day? the day?'ll tell you this, the Queen's never coming to two. I know, Tony Blair is not going to pop in a lounge cupboard in Greece. No, exactly. In Dungare's. I won't sit down, you can sit

down, Tony. I've been waiting for 40 years. Look I've had a baby. It is a baby. It is a baby! Is this still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still a this this this this this the store a the store a the store a baby. Is the store a baby. Is the store a baby. Is the story a baby. Is their their baby. Is the baby. Is their baby. Is their baby baby. Is their baby baby baby. Is their baby. Is the baby baby. Is the baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is a baby. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. Why do you hate me? Oh God. Call your friends and tell them it's a girl. So if you're one of the scum that have ever bought anything from one of the trash. Normally you'll get maybe commemorative plates. I know. I tell you what, if I ever win the lottery, I'm going to buy all them up in one foul swoop. That'll be amazing. I think it was Cliff Richard. It was a commemorative plate of Cliff Richard. It said, Cliff never ages. And neither will this. Really? Tell you have married, tell you've married Cliff Richard. Look, I've married, it's a play. It's not a play! Only with it. I've married Cliff Richard. Remember that mental case that thought she was married to Mike Reed? No, I don't remember that. Oh. No, is this Mike Reed, the former DJ or Mike Reed or something?

Is this Mike Reed or something? Is this Mike Reed or something? That's libelous. I mean, is she still looking for a fellow or what? And it had a shot of her? with him. That's libelous. I mean is she still looking for a fellow or? Yeah. Oh, what would you do? Imagine you're in a love triangle between air and Louise Woodward. Oh, right, okay. And they were, they were fighting over you. And I think they can both get pretty violent. Yeah. I mean, I mean, you know, fine. I mean, no, I don't know what I do. I do what any gentleman were doing in that situation and I'd let them wrestling, wrestle out, nude, in a hotel room.

Oh, let's have a record. Sorry to any. Call the lawyers and tell me it to go. Coldplay, XFM, 104. In fact, can I just plug something? Go on. Because you can hear Cold Play live tonight from 7 o'clock the whole Earl's court gig on XFM from 7. Blumen.

Yeah. It's not bad. Yeah. To cold play. Happy Easter. Well, that's about it. Well, that's about it should you know tell him that we you know we don't need him. If he turns up is fine if not you don't mean? Yeah because that will wind him up.

Oh you know if you could send oh could you send Carl? Oh could you send Carl? Could you send Carl? Could you send Carly emails saying to Ricky or something? to Rickie or some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some? Because to him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him. to him. Because to him. to Ricky. to Ricky. to Ricky. to Ricky. to Ricky. to Ricky. He. He. He? to Ricky. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he. He's, he. He's, he. He's, th. He's, th. He's, t. He's, t. He's, t. He's, th. He's, th. He's, that for us? We're telling the truth. He'll hear it, it'll come back and hear it, so we know it's a wind up. But just I just want to see his crushed little face Monday. Is it that the true ask, as if you can send as much as C. the show was better without? I think so. Is it Carl. Pilkerton at XFM. UK? Yeah. And it's Carl with a K. Yeah. And send them to me, you can see a read those next week as well. Yeah. Ricky Dr. Do you say it's a to me as well. Yeah. And just manager shall let's his song yeah Andrew dot Phillips exman I got just saying it's so much better without Carl because it's got a bit self indulgent he just does his same old stuff about auntie Nora farting and it's not big and it's not clever

and the man's a fool yeah so if you do something like that you know make stuff up as well thanks very much happy egg happy egg Thanks very much. Happy egg. Ha ha ha! Happy egg indeed. Can I just end with a tune? Yeah, absolutely. Ed Harkor, I don't know if you've listened to his current album. Yeah, new albums sounds good. Some nice treats on there. And this is one called The Birds Will Sing for us.

A nice way to end. Cheers. Do the email thing.