The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E38 (May 10, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

Badly drawn boy on XFM 104. I'm Rickon James with me Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkington. I'll tell you what, the Sony's then. This Thursday, this Thursday at the Groverhouse Hotel. Everyone in radio has entered their show in different categories saying, oh, you know, they get it down to, you know. Winners this year included the brilliant Dominic Mohan, former showbys editor of the sun. Lots of lots of people won, lots of people won, lots of people won gold, lots of people

won silver, lots of people won bronze. We didn't get a sausage. This show was deemed not worthy of anything. I mean not a looking. The panel looked at it and said well no definitely not. Didn't get a vote. See that annoys me on so many levels. Let me tell you one. Right. I've never complained about losing award okay. Ever. Yeah in many TV. I know we've won a lot but we've been beating a couple of, beaten by Peter K. Good luck to him, he's brilliant. And beaten by Phoenix Knights and sitcom. A lot of people like that more than the Oscars, vice versa, right?

No qualms. But the shoddy shite that I heard that night beating us, I was furious. I don't understand. There's people, regional, it sounds like hospital radio, right? I mean, I shouldn't even be on XFM, I thought, you know, it's beneath me. Yeah, yeah. And I thought, well, give them a hand, right? Let's show them. And I want to know where the panel was as well. I, I do not believe it. How can they, I was looking back over with some of the shows, right, before I go, Carl. And I've just done a little excerpt of a trailer of what we do, what we're about. And I don't know how the panel could overlook...

Play a bit, Carl, please. Shaking her muff, minge and tits around does not make her a hoe, then what does? These kids at school with big heads? Carl, what are you talking about? Shut. Oh, my name is Holy Fock that train station. Right, there's. It there. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. there. there. there. there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. theat. theat. toda. today. tha. theat. theat. thea. theat. Sha. Sha. Sha penis? Ha ha ha! It was my Down syndrome son. Oh, chimpanzee that! Monkey News! So we still got monkey news coming up. You're an idiot!

You know what I mean? That's to me quality broadcaster. I don't know how they can say that isn't worthy. That's what we sent in to the Sony people. They listened to that. How they didn't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they think they think they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin' thin' thi. I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I thi. I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. the an thin. thoooooooooooooooome. to to to to to to to to to sent in to the Sony people. They listened to that. How they didn't think that was dynamite stuff. It doesn't make sense. I've been thinking about this since Thursday because I'm a little bit down in the dumps. What I think is is that with the TV show, the TV stuff we've done Rick, we put a lot of work into that. We get the script, ever going to win an award for our personalities. I think that's where we're going on. I think that when we're together with the Oteres of the office and you know and we're strong on it and we're just to we write it we direct it you know we cast it we even worry

about the font and stuff on the you know we do everything there's a weak link in our midst I think. On th th th th th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just I just just just I just just just just I just I just just just just just just just just just just just I just just just just just just just think I just just think I'm just think I'm just I'll just think I'm just think I'm just think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is the th is th is th is thin I'm thin I'm think we think we think we can't just just just think we think we can't think we think we can't think we can't thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the the the thin the font and stuff on the, you know, we do everything. There's a weak link in our midst. I think. On the radio show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. I just try to think what the common factor is because on the award-winning TV show, it's plus you and I. Yeah, I don't know. Well, I'll say, well, can we play a record and let me winning and this is a pile of shite. Brown Sugar by the Rolling Stones on XFM, 104.9 I'm working to raise me Steve Merchant and with us and with us, Carl Pilkington, the third member of this team, team. Me and me and you do the office. Award-Word-Wi-Wi-Wardeen. Yeah, and me, and me, the third member of this team. We and me and you do the office. Award winning.

Yeah and us three do this show. No awards. No awards. Carl, what are your thoughts? What do you think is wrong with the show? Why do you think the panel listened to our show and said that is awful, it's not actually a radio show. Well can I just point out so many people may not realize that last year we won a bronze

so we've actually gone down we've actually slid off the list or entirely. I know but I mean that that yeah the car wasn't really as involved last year last last year was very much yeah yeah I mean we just started out on it yes I mean so you can't really you can't look at it yeah.. Oh I don't the the the the the the the you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I they. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I just. Yeah. I just. I just. I just. I just just. I just just. We just. We just. I just just just just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I the. I the. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the don't know. Interesting, interesting. What do you think, Kyle? What do you think there really is? Any thoughts? I see what you're getting at, right? But, but, you're not stupid.

But when I put the compilation together, I made sure that it was mainly you two. So don't, don't be doing that, don't be playing that game. So you put the compilation together? Yeah, right, interesting. We weren't involved with that. We usually do the office, edit the office and everything, we have the final cut on the office. So you, oh I see, so you, oh no, no, you had your fingers all over it, interesting. That's interesting. So, oh well, um, that's so the tape was the smoking gun and whose fingerprints were on it, Carl Pilkington? It's interesting, we didn't get a sausage. But you know, do you know what, seriously though, you know, you're... Well, I don't mean seriously it is his fault. I know, but I mean, it's our fault as well

because we should have known better, right? But, um, I actually think it's a slap in the face. I want to know where the panel was a lot of soo thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' tho, I'm tho, I'm tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm seriously, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I th. Well, I th. Well, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin' thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thin, I'm thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, seriously, thoan, seriously, seriously, I'm thooooan, seriously, I'm seriously, I'm thoan, I'm thin Sony are thinking, just adding it out to the same old people, you know I mean? Every clip they play was a funny phone call. Do you know what I mean? And so I'm actually... Did we send any of our funny phone calls here? So if anyone, if anyone cares, I think we should knock it on the ed. As a protest against Sony. And I said, I've never complained before, but I mean this one, don't what that thinks. Or, I th. Or, I th. Or, I the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, that, their, tho. their, tho. tho. their, their, tho. tho. their, their, their, their, their I think I want or I want someone on the panel it was entertainment I want someone on the panel to phone up and say why they think this show is rubbish. Well I'm not apologised if they stand by the if they tell me why you know because you know listening to that clip now I can't see anything wrong with that as sort of

you know daytime radio. It's interesting. I mean, I don't think our number one fan, Dickie Anderson, Richard Anders, was on the, on the panel. Although he here has emailed in. He's got to come to force as maybe why we win. What is Dickers doing, man? Dickers says commiserations on not winning a Sony. I can't believe you didn't win. I mean, a, a, a, a, a, thapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap apart, I'm th, I'm th, I'm for a producer offering the biggest load of TAT as competition prizes, saying hairy, Chinese

kid 48 times every show, rockbusters, not bothering to turn up for weeks on end, only having three listeners, introducing the comedy characters Camp David Harry Fouke, which I think he's spelled wrong there. Stephen Merchant, I'm not a character. I'm not a character. Apart from insulting every race, religion and sexual orientation, bickering like schoolgirls We haven't done everyone yet. We have not insulted everyone yet. We have not insulted everyone yet. Despite the fact you generally bring misery into the lives of anyone who listens, I thought you were sure fire winners.

Well, I mean a couple of constructive criticisms there, but generally I still can't nail it. Well, I don't think so. Well he's a fan so. Yeah well no it's clearly a fan I mean he obviously loves the show he's because he's I mean he has hit the now on the head which yeah but uh what should we do? Should we give up or should we try harder? That's always my dilemma in life. Sure, yeah. I've always gone for the first one. Yeah, why bother? If that? that? that? that? that? that? that that that that that that? th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th he he's he's he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's hea. He's hea. He's hea. He's hea. He's he's he's he's he's he's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he's he. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's clearly. he's clearly th. th. the the the the he's clearly he's clearly he's clearly he's clearly he's clearly he's clearly he's clearly the first one. Give up. Yeah, why bother? If they can't see, just give us the award and then worry about it later and we won't let them down. Now they've got blood on their hands. We're gonna... What do we do? Give a couple of months notice?

I think so. Okay, well there you go. I mean, seriously. I'm not being wacky now I haven't told Andrew. We their their their their their their th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We. We. We. We. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're going. We're going. We're going. We're going. to. to g. to g. to givere. their. to givou. to g. to givo. to givo. to givoes. to givoes. their their their their their their. their. their. to go. to go. to go. to go. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. toe. toe. their. toe. toe. their. their. their. their. G. wacky now. I haven't told Andrew but I think it's won our course with this show. Yeah, yeah. So let's let's, okay we give it a month and it's because the sonies didn't give us anything. Play a record. There you go. You gotta do a bit longer than that. No we haven't. We've got to give a month notice. No you got to work to about September if you're gonna. No we give. to give a month. to give. to give. to give. to give a month. to give. the month. the month. to give. to give. the month. to give. the month. to give it. to give it. to give it. to give it's the month. to give it's to give it's their to give it the month. their to give it's to give it's to their their their their their th. their their their their their their their the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. the month. their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. the. the. to give the. to the. to. to. th. the. the. to. the. the. the. back so much. Well, well, you give your money back. Yeah, I know. What are you going to spend your 80 quid on? True. By the way, red-op chili peppers and XFM, 104.9. So, a few more shows.

I'm so only happy. They should encourage, you know, we've only been radio, you know, a couple of years. Exactly. You encourage young talent, like you. Yeah. Instead of giving it to Radio 1 and Radio 2. The old Warhorses, we just had a quick email, I wonder if you could answer this. It's James from NWM. He says, Ricky, is Carl going to be on this week's show? Please let me know as I may listen if he's not. Sadly he is here. I mean people are already turning against you Carl because they've seen what's happened. I think they probably realized that we've sort of gave you too much. I think exactly I think we've got a spoiled sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the their their their their our bad he was, but we were trying to sort of bring him out of his shadow a little bit. Yeah.

Encourage, you got encouraged sort of, um, children like Carl. Well, yeah, exactly. Just sort of fend for themselves. Um, but, uh, I like the fact that Dickie Anderson had that wonderful rant. I mean, it was an articulate email, it was quite long and he must have typed it immediately. I'm thinking because he's a fan of the show and he thinks I'm a genius, we need a PA. Don't we? Don't we?

Yeah. Do you reckon he'd come and work for us? Um, well it can't be any worse than what we've already got. I don't know. You know. I don't that the things. thin thin thin thin thin thin thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thoooooooooooo. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm thi. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tha. I'm tha. I'm th you go then we're giving up we're giving up radio we're gonna concentrate on television Carl's gonna probably go back to what your little just doing your sound the thing I want a silver for at the Sony's funny that in it are you wanna silver did you got a silver yeah I don't know you was the proper job that I do here in the week no no no it's two of you for a start yeah well there there there's three of there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there's there there there's there's there's th there th th's th's th's th's th's th's th's thr th's the the thr thr the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th's th's th's th's th's th's thr three thro thro thro' thro' thro' thro' thro' thro' thro' thro' thro' thro' thr we's thr th Right? Well, let's get it. Let's not argue. We haven't got how many shows to do. To be fair though, this show is, I think it's more to do with the fact that you talk on this show that has brought us staying.

Right, I haven't said anything hardly today. No, well this is an award winning show potentially. We'll add this one in for next year. If you could just keep keep stumumum have a chance. Well coming up, right? Let's put it behind us. Let's draw a line under it. We had a meeting yesterday. We thought we better, you know, for the last few shows, plan it a little bit. And me and Steve are with a great idea, we're going to offer Carl money to do stuff. Yes. That's the quality of the ideas on this. Yeah, and I've I've th bought th bought th bought th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thath. thathe th. tho. tho. tho. tho. thathe thi. tho. tho. tho. to to just to to just to just to just to to just to to to to to to to to to th. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We're. We're. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll tha. We'll tha. We have tha. We have to. Let's tha. Let's tha. Let's tha. Let's to. Let's to. Let's to. Let's to. Let's to. Let's tha. Let's tha. Let's the quality of the ideas on this. Yeah, yeah. And I've bought some money in, a little stuff, because we had him, we had him showering with our mate Johnny for £1,000 yesterday.

We just got into a discussion and then one of us suggested that how much would it cost us to pay you, Carl, to have a shower with another man. Not, and there's nothing going to go on. No, no, you're just just a shower, normal shower, you're just watching each other, no not each other, just yourselves, you're just having a chat, right? Yeah, washing yourselves, having a shower, yeah, having a shower, yeah, but it's a regular shower in a regular house, it's not shower in the school. And he went fine, he got, he got a thousand pounds out of it, he wouldn't do it, but but then we said, and we'll have to watch to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, you, you, to, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, you're, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're, you're, you're, you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to, to, to, to.. Yeah, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. why, what's it, but this is what annoys me though, right? The whole idea of, what would you do, right?

I bet you missed out there, when we started this chat saying, oh I wonder what you'd do for money, it did start off with, would you rub Dale Winton's neck? Would you give Dale Winton a massage for 20? Yeah, yeah, but you have, but you have, you have, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, to, what, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the. to, the. to, to, the. to, the. the. to, the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to, to say no 500. You could you got we're trying to find out what your price is what price Carl is the name of the serve so so so you would you give um a dog witness he's got a knot he's got a bit of a knot he's stressed he's been doing supermarket sweep and he's furious one of the contestants was answering back calling him names and he's got he's got all knots in

his neck you just put you just give him a little bit of a, you know, five minutes. A little neck massage. How much would you do that for? He's naked and it's just a little neck massage. Nothing, there's nothing going on. It's like... You're naked, but it's just a two of you naked at giving him a little massage? No, no, would you, thrown. For how much? Well that's what's your price? And what are the rules though? Can I wear gloves? No? No, no, just, you know. Let's start off. Would you take off my shoes and socks?

Uh, for, I'd do it for like, 50 quid. Okay, 20 quid to take off one shoe and one sock, but like you mean it. You just take the shoe off, you go, and as you're putting down my sock, you pull the stock down slow, you look me in the eyes and go, what lovely ankles? Seriously, how much? What price? Uh, 20 quid a foot. So 20 quid, you will take off my, um, we're put on some soft music, right, right,'t need it today, that's what we were saying to you yesterday. You always do you know? Do you know? At the moment I'm quite happy. Give it to a homeless person. Give it to a charity. Donate his charity.

Well, we're getting in here. Well, are you still going to stand in the corner and watch. Well we've got to make sure you do it, you might go in there and just like wet your air and come out, pay Johnny five hundred quid and go yeah we had a shower. How will we know? Sorry I'm quite interesting about the shoe and sock. I'm back to the shower. You just have to wash yourselves and we have to inspect that it's really clean because we both got to be in there then? Well no, this is one of us. Can we just take, I mean, yeah, or can Steve film it? As evidence, just as evidence. Or we'll leave the TV camera in there, we'd neither have to be in there, then we can just watch the video. Yeah. Are you a couple of benders? No. Can we discuss further the taken of the shoe and the sock? Because I think there's 20 pounds, I'm willing to pay 20 paunits to see that.

See, a little surprise for you there. That's a cold player here, they're live, through there. Thanks, can you hear me? Can I hear me? Um, yeah, brilliant. Do you want usto say if you were, do you want to say to him? Yeah, no, I have a quick word with Chris. Lead singer Chris. Chris, good to have you here. Hello. How's it going, how to go in with Gwynneith? Brilliant, yes. She's a lovely lady. Yeah, I thought so. I thought, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've th. I've a th. I've a th. I've a th. I have a th. I have a th. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have a th. I have a th. I have a th. I have a th. I have a to have a to have a quick. Let. Let. I have a to have a quick. Let. I have a to have a quick. to have a to have a quick. I have a quick. I have a quick. I have a th. She would pass that on to her, just say I would say. It's going all right, you're going to get married or something? Yeah, so I'm, I marry either her or that Julia Roberts woman. Good, yeah, either one is good.

Um, I know, I'm good. Um, I know, the today. I know, I know, Ricky. So that's the sort of guests. That's cavalry guests. We're just trying to up to you. Just like Jonathan Ross. We've got guests like Jonathan Ross. That's cold play, just popped in.

Just popp-in. So if you're the people listening. So, you're't know him. Because he owes you 10, so I just have to pay him 10. Okay. Yeah. So, go on then, just take- Not whilst co-player here. Ha ha ha ha. That's all right, they like to shoot off. Come on, I don't want to do it. Let's see what, I don't want to do.

Let's do it. Say my mom and dad are like I've heard about how well I'm doing in London. Yeah right they've heard about you know the Sony Awards and that they're talking to the mates you're saying Carl's doing well for himself yeah let's have a listen to him on yeah tuning yeah to the to you I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to me to me to to to to to to to to to me they're they're to to they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're took took took took I took I took took took took took took took took took took took took I took took took took I took took I took I took I'm they're took the first time that anyone in your family has actually made, you know, money without stealing, thinking or committing some kind of necessity. Let's just do it quick then because he's getting on my hearths. He's actually annoying it. Excellent. All right. Excellent, all right. Excellent. No, he's just taken a ten of money.

No, he's just taken a tenure. to give you the ten of back. Right. they. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. to. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let. Let's. Let's. Let's just just just just just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Just. Let's just just go slowly, go slowly, just gently, I can't see what's happening. I just pretend I'm working on a shop, there's nothing normal. No, come on, just get it done. What's that? What's that? What's the whistling? What's the whistle? Just gently, hold it, do you. Just gently, do it, I'll just gently, do it, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, just, just, just, just, just,there. Don't just gently ease the shop.

Just like working on a shoe shop. There's nothing weird about it. Just gently ease up. All right, let's just, come on gently do it. Don't just rip it on. Slowly, tease it. Tease it. I don't like this. I just might as tenor and that wasn't enjoying you. No wait a minute you've got to say. Say to lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely lovely the lovely the lovely tow tow tow tow tose tose tose tose it tose it tose it tose it. tose it. tose it. tose it. tose it. tose to tose to just just just just just just just just just just just just to just to just too. too. too. too. too. too. too. tose it. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. tose. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just tho. to. toome. toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. tooea. toe. Just. Just. you. Now wait a minute you've got to say, you've got to say, say to them nice about my ankle. Say you've got lovely toes and I love your ankle. You've got nice toes and that.

You've got it poppy. I don't like it anymore. Do it and you've got to say, you've got to say for the tenor, other than you've got to say, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you would seduce a woman like that, Carl. That's Susan. I don't know. I don't feel good about it. Leave it off because I want to see if we can get into massage your toe. See, I don't know what's worse. I mean, I didn't like the feeling much. That wasn't very nice because it was all it was all rough and I, you know and he's a skinhead and he's playing on the feet and then I thought I've degraded him so I don't know what I feel worse about. You can keep the tenor

that you owe me if you massage his toes. No I'm not doing that. Why no we paid him he's done it yeah the shoes are back on with with some else next week some Okay. If you'd like to call to humiliate himself for money, email in. No, Susan was surprised that I was like, last night I told her about it. Why did you do that? I don't feel, I don't know what I feel now. That's not good. I don't know, that's not good, is it? And she just said, well, you know, uh, you don't like chucking money away and that. And it was funny because we got talking talking talking talking talking talking to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to talk to talk to to to call to call to call to ha to ha to ha to ha to ha to ha to me me me to me me to ha. to me to me to me to me me to me me me me to me me me to me me me me me. I'm to me me me me me me. I to me me me me me. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. I they. I they. I they. I the the the the the the the the the the the they. I they. I they. I they. I the they. I'm that's that's that's to. that's to. to. the they. I'm they. I'm to. I'm to. I'm the to. I'm that's that's the the the that and it was funny because we got talking about when we bought our first flat in Manchester right I bought a bed right I didn't have much money and what annoyed me is I bought the bed and it turned up and so where's the mattress and they said well you don't get a mattress with the bed you got to buy that separately.

And I was like well that's not a bed then. So I didn't have any more money. Suzanne's at work so I thought well I don't want to stress her out at work and that and telling her we haven't got a mattress for the bed. I had a word with my dad, right? He knew a mate who had. Got the van, brought it round, stunk a diesel and that, but I thought, but it's free. They stunk a diesel. They brought it off, I stuck it in the spare room. Suzanne got home, she looked at the bed, she said, that looks all right, she

wears the mattress so that it's in the next room but I thought I won't tell her because she won't like the idea. She went in, she, she, she, she, the room, the room, the room, the room, the room, the room, the room, the room, the room, the room, the room, the room, the the room, their, their, their, tho, though, though, though, tho, thus, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, their, th, th, th, th, th. th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th. They, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. They's, th. They's, th. They's thre, thre's thrererea, threa, thruuu-s, thru-s, thru-s, throoooooooooooooooooooooo, that. So what's going on? I said, well, it's a mattress didn't come with a bed. So I've sorted you one out, I've got this off my dad. And we didn't have one night on it. She said, get rid of it. Yeah. I have to go and ditch it. I don't know what she was thinking. One of your father's friends is driving around in a van with a mattress in the back. Yeah, was it a serial killer? I mean... And she didn't want to sleep on it. Like some style, it's the lamb. What kind of a cheap state is she? What kind of a woman is she? That she won't sleep on a mattress that has been in the back of a transit van? Yeah, covered in petrol, probably urine and Christ knows what else? Oh. So you know.

Would you swap pants with Steve for 50 quid now? You'd have to look at him, you go in the toilet, he takes his pants off in the toilet, leaves in there, you go in, right? You come up with your trousers on, you go in, right? Take your pants, put your pants, leave your pants, leave your pants, leave your pants in the toilet, come out, you got his much time, he goes in there, you can swap pants, at the end of the show you put it back. How much? When you say pants, what do you mean? Just under pants? Under pants? No, I'm not doing it. Why not? Why not? Why not?

Seriously, these were fresh on Thursday. For the after their, for the, uh, what, do you know? their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Just, jeans. Just, jeans. Just, jeans. Just, jeans. Just, jeans. Just, jeans. Just, jeans. Just, jeans. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. Just. Just, jeans. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. Just. Just, just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. the, the, the, the. J. J. the. the. Just. the. Just. Just. the. Just. Just, the. Just, the. Just, the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the to the to the to the the the the te. the the the the the te. the te. te.. It's going to be more than 20 quid. It's going to be, it's going to be like 80 quid upwards, I think. No, clean on today. They would clean on today in their boxes. It's as bad for him as you, don't remember that. Thanks for that. 50 quid? Really? to

to swap pants or touch my ankle. I don't know what I've done this. I'm the victim here. I've paid out and I don't even like it. Play a record I want to think about this. I've got 50 quid a few. As long as we can swap the parts but both be in the room at the same time. Band of Gold by the artist who featured in a recent rockbuster and the team of what the artist featured in a recent rockbuster clue which was I think the Jamaican fella needs an aspirin for his head and that goes course to free the pain. Rillian. Rockbuster's coming up in it Carl? We uh we settle now get it going. No let's let's let's... I thought we weren't doing this anymore. I know I don't know what happened. I don't know, I mean, oh.

But I mean, I mean, we're shooting off in a couple of weeks, so. Yeah. What difference does it make? Well, we might as well. Now you've mentioned it, it's a good time. Go ahead then. First one, my younger brother spotted you the other day. That's the cryptic clue, my younger brother spotted you the other day. The initials JFs, for the band.

Second one, that champagne belongs to the boxers kid. That's the way he looks up! Like, it's Oscar Wilde! It's... Oh! That champagne belongs to the boxers kid. The initials are A-M. And the third one, the vibrators. And the initial B.

What? The vibrators? And the initial is B. So the first one, my younger brother spotted you the other day. I know that one, that's ridiculous. J.S. The phone's going. Second one, that champagne belongs to the boxers kid, AM. And the third one, the vibrators, the initial B. So email in and you win. You can say the prizes later, can't you? Well I tell you, this is terrible. I mean, I'll the th th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, the the the the the the th, the the th, the th, the th, their, their, their, their, their, their, throngue. The phone, thronge, their, their, their, their, their, their, the phone. The phone. The phone. The phone. The phone. The phone. C. C. C. The phone. C. C. C. The phone. The phone. The phone. The, the, the phone. The phone. The phone. The, the, the. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. V. V. V. V. V. V. V. I. I's. V. I's. I's. V. I's. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. S. C. I'm. S. C. C. C. C. C this is terrible. I mean we didn't even say the prizes we weren't going to do this. The phones go in. Look at the phones, I've gone mental. Carl, did you ever do paintings and draw them at school and then bring them home and your mom put them on the fridge? Uh, no, not really. I never brought them on. What, do you just screw them up and throw him in the bin? I. I. I. I. I. I. I just. I just. I the school. I the school. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin. I thin'. I tho. I've tho. I've tho. I've th. I've tho. I've tho. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. I th. C. I've the. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. I've the. C. C. C. C. C. C. I've theea. C. I've thea. C. I've thea. I've thea. I've the. C.M, one of the tp.

Radiohead, there there, on XFM, one of four point nine. You see, I'm sick of it. No way, well, this has given me an idea because I think what the best thing about this show is what happens when the records are playing. Because we, we, we sort of, uh... that's an example in articulate yeah didn't have anything planned but I didn't have anything planned yeah like why was that why don't you have anything planned there what why didn't you know what you're gonna say then because what were you doing when radio was on well I've made a new uniform that he has to wear in the? Because what were you doing when Radio Ed was on? Well, I've made Carl

a new uniform that he has to wear in the second hour. What did I do? You got tissue paper, yeah, toilet roll, yeah. Ripped a bit off, made a little tie for me and put some in the ears. Yeah! So we had ear plugs and matching tie, he hadplugs and matching tie and squeezed it in there and he went, I can't it illibitate me. So I'm thinking of things all the time to make this more fun for me. And it is just like that. Can I, sorry, a quick question. Um, just want to raise, Steve, just want this more entertaining for yourself. Yeah. Is it worth ever considering the listeners? Well I think that if you're happy they're happy. I'm not sure that's true. I've

been monitoring a lot of feedback on the email and stuff. It doesn't appear to be the case. But that's because Kyle won't go along with stuff. Sure. I mean they could see it on the webcam is little matching, matching earplugs and tie that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. thigh. thigh. thi. thi. thirty is thirty is thirty. thirty thirty thirty the is their is their thea'er. the are the are the are the are the are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're happy. I're happy. I're they're happy. I're happy. I're they're they're they're happy. I're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're happy. I're they're happy. I're happy. I'm thate. I'm happy. I'm today. I'm today. I'm not happy.a. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not they're tie that I made. I just did a cartoon that went for £350 £350 right on the website right? So that's one now yeah we're going to make it really good we're going to give them lots of stuff and sign DVDs and everything so that's great. 350 quid. Who was it? I think her name was Joanne. It's not definite yet because we haven't got the money offer. Well she says I'm you know. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not. that's not. that's not. that's not. that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. That's their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th.m. I's one. I'm their their their their their their their to trust him, yeah. And so I think people would love to have had a matching, you know, I'd have signed it and everything. Little matching earplugs and necktie made out of toilet roll. Yeah.

You know, and he doesn't want to wear it. But I've had a great idea for a show, right? We filmed the behind the scenes, right? Right? And it follows us, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd the, I'd the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd have, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the a you know the CD of what went out but you see what happened behind the scenes right and it follows us through a week right and it's called X-Men 3. Ah I see because of X-FM yeah right and then we can film all car what car looks like when I'm squeezing his head what he's like when we're trying to make him touch us, all that sort of stuff, when he's getting all stressed out in the day and we just pop up, like what he looks like

his little Ed, everything. And would this be broadcast on TV? I think so? I think so. I think so. I think so. I mean, I'm very much in the centre of the storm, I'm very much the eye of the storm. And I know that I myself would not want to watch that. Really?

No, because it's... Any negative, Carl? He was like this when you came up with Cheap as Chimps. He wanted to drop Rockbusters. What was the other thing he didn't like that, the other TV ide? and make his way out. Sat in the room on fire. Let's not get silly. No, no, no, but he didn't like that, did he? I mean, I don't want to sort of, I don't want to blow my own trumpet, but it does seem to me that my criticism of those things is probably justified. I mean, cheapest chimps. Where is it now?

Wow. Dion't, I'm, I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. Both your game show idea is terrible. This TV show idea I think again it's only interesting to you Rick. This is what you failed to realize. You've got no sense of the greater public. They don't, to be honest with I'm just taken this from what people are emailing in. They're not interesting. They're not interesting Carl. They're not interested in Carl. But if we did a document about Oliver the human city about Oliver, the humans see, or that the girl that was older than her mum or you know all those other sort of things, I think

we actually did a definitive documentary and got him doctors to talk about him and showed him and just talked about it and then showed him in his environment. I think it'd be, I think it would be brilliant, I think it would be brilliant, I think it'd be brilliant. I think it'll be a brilliant show. But I think that's interesting. I think you're right. As some kind of anthropological study of Carl, fascinating, you're making a little negative form I'm not so convinced. But that'll be all be part of it. Play record, let's think about this because I think this is an idea. If any broadcaster's listening, like Greg Dyke or, you know. We'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'd even, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, that, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, th. that, the. that, that, that, that, the. the. that, the. th. the. that I think. I mean alternatively if you'd like to incorporate Carl into some kind of blue Peter appeal let's do so much let's just get Carl look

at his face how could you not see a lot of it was still don't know what you look like Carl play record Churin breaks, painkiller on XFN 104. A couple of emails Rick that ought to notify you about. Holly is emailed in, she wants us to wish her good luck. She says that she's one of 15,000 women who will be walking 26 miles around London, starting at midnight tonight, in their bras to raise money for a breast cancer. Postitutes? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, just regular ladies, ladies, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th................... A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thight in their bras to raise money for breast cancer. No no no no no no just regular ladies I think. But I was at a loose end so that's something for me to do. I'll pop down and support them. Also we've got to say hello to Sonia who's so 18th birthday and we're going to play a little Smith track for

so well it's like we're trying we're trying to be interactive yeah I've seen now other DJs do it they have phones they go and what are you celebrating tonight I'm just going out Foxy have a good time here we go this is you know I mean we've got to be what I've guessed we had we had Chris Martin in from cold play which to be a lot Chris what you to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I to to be to be to be to be to be th is the the th is to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they I I I they I they I they I th is the the the thou the the the the to to to thy to to to to to to to they're they're they're Hello. Chris, I actually come up with the ideas for your songs. Just make them up in my head with the guitar. And how old are you know? 28. Thanks very much, no.

More from Chris Martin later I imagine. Cheers. And we've also had an email from Jim. We've also had an email from Jim. Jimmy, he says on the subject of the postcards, his brother once met the bloke who posed for the photo on those byroes that when you tip them up the black ink so it kind of sinks away and it shows him nude and he was apparently an aspiring model and he got paid $75 for it in Hong Kong in the 70s. Carl would you pose nude for a pen for $75? I mean inflation, I's double it every 10 years say so yeah 150 300 I'll get 600 quid to pose news for for biros that we give away for xfm

an xf mire where your clothes sink away when you turn it upside down and what sort of shape was this fellow in do you pretty good shape yeah I think uh six hundred quid yeah yeah I'll make it back on selling the pens. No I won't do that. I always remember being at school when like the first time I ever encountered one of those pens was a kid at school Jason and he had a pen and he turned upside-on and it was where the woman's clothes sink away and she's naked and I remember sort of seeing it and him showing it to everyone theyme to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their to their to their their their their their their their their their I their I was their I'm their I'm their I'm their I was their I was to their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their I I I I I I I I I was I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin th th thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their th their their their their th to thin to everyone all the young lads and them thinking this is amazing and I always remember thinking it was like the idea that it was sort of a way to cheat teachers.

Oh there's Jason he's just got a pen there with a picture of a woman wearing some clothes that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. If he brings a porn mag in I love. Exactly. But yeah yeah but I can't imagine can't imagine can you imagine how th imagine how you imagine how you imagine how to imagine how to imagine how the that that that the that that the that that that that the that the that that that the the that the the that the the that the the the the that that that the that that that their he their that that that that he he he he he he he heat. he he he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he he he he he he he he he he th is just just just just just just just just just just just just just just he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th is just he th. he he's just th. he's just he's just he's just he's just he's just he's just he he he he he he he he he he he ating over one of those pens. A business man! Yeah, exactly, this life catches him. No, it's a silly. Um, oh, sorry, what are you doing? Just, not just doing some writing with this, this regular pen? Right, what? Well, no, don't, don't turn up so that, you're sitting? Can't you, the only thing I think more embarrassing would be to be caught masturbating looking into a mirror.

Well, for you maybe, for me and can't be right. We should give the rockbusters clues again one final time before we give out the answers. And I should mention the prizes as well if you still want to enter. We've got various things, a couple of CDs, a special-kits, looking into a mirror. Let's move on from that. Club Anthems 2003 2003 2003. I to th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I them. I. I. I. I. I. I them. I them. I them. I might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might th. I th. I thu. I might might might might might might th. I might might might might might might might th. I might might might might the the their their their their the pr. I the pr. I the pr. I the pr. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I tha. I tha. I ta. I ta. I ta. ta. ta. ta..... ta. ta. I tha. I tha. a couple of CDs, a shit, CD. Fuck and pass about! He's looking into a mirror. Uh, let's move on from that. Club Anthems 2003, Stranger and beautiful. Eh? I hate being nude anyway. Why?

What do you mean you ain't being nude? It's not normal if you walk about. Do you walk about the house we're out on? I have a bath with a plant chicken. Say like with you know with Jane and that, are you happy walking about? No, I just didn't know, I walk around in the pants or a towel. I won't purposely walk around nude for the sake of it, no. No, I know, but in the morning I don't mind when I get up. Yeah. I don't sort of flaunt it about, I just wondered if that's normal. Well no, what do you mean is it normal? If there's no one can see you then... Not like but what your girlfriend's in and that but what I mean

is yeah it's like you can put a pair of pants on can't you? Do you know all I'm saying is it's what do you want do you want to put a pair of pants on now? No it's just like you're asking me to do it for a pen what would you do right if you did you do right if you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you to do that you that you to that you that you to that you to that you to that that to to to to that that to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to put to put it was to put it was to put it is? to put to put you to put to put to put to put to put to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th. that tho. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's? What would you do right if you did that thing with Steve and you put left your pants in there and you went and you put his on, but it was sort of like, it was damp. Right, so Rockbusters then we'll get this out of the way. So the prizes, Carl, I mentioned there's a number of CDs, we've also got wild weather, their their their their their their their their their their, their, th and th and th and their, th and their, th and their, th and their, th and their, thi. fascinating it looks like two VHS set about weather about various weather conditions around the world that must be selling like hot cakes. Sean Lloyd could be in that now indeed and also signed by Norman it's fat

boy slim big beach boutique that must have been troublesome for the station that has you know close ties with Norman to get old of but well done and that's fat boy slim big beach bout so yeah there's a number of not bad prizes to give away there and the clues were a car first one was my younger brother spotted you the the initial jay s we had that champagne belongs to the boxer's kid that was a m and third one the vibrators that's rubbish that one in the initial b we'll give away the the prizes the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the prices the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the thususususususus the the the the the the the the the thea thea thea the thea thea thea the the the the the the the the th one the vibrators. That's rubbish that one. In the initial B. We'll give away the prices and the answers next. What are we going to play a record or what we've got coming up? We've got monkey news.

We've got that. We've got loads too numerous to mention at the moment. We've got some of them. Oh brilliant. Cram them in later. Excellent. Good track. good tune. Well it's on. Different for girls. Joe Jackson XFM. 104.9. A retro cut. A retro cut. A M. Monkey usually be good, Carl, if you got that. Well, we're struggling there. We're struggling, Steve. Wait a minute. A thirty monkey usually be good, Carl, if you got that? What are we?

We're struggling there. We're struggling, Steve. Wait a minute, the answers for rockbusters are coming up right now. So, you thought people were turning off. Oh, we've done. What we've done? Take my shoes off for money. Take my shoes off for money.

We've done that. Oh, look at these these these these these these these these at these funny postcard breasts, and we've done, we didn't win a Sony, coming up, regular features. Oh, Jesus, have we got. we got nothing have we? Come on, come on, Carl, save us, you've got to save us. It's the rock monster's answers now, are we doing them now, Steve? Yeah. Right. First one, my younger brother spotted you the other day. The initials there, JS. That was Junior Senior.

Right? Yeah, good. I'll give me that. Second one, that champagne belongs to the Boxer's Kid. That was AM. That was Allison's Moyet. Alison Moyet. Alison Moyet. Sorry, just give us the clue again. That champagne belongs to the Boxer's Kid. So Mohammed Ali's Son, Alison's Moya. Brilliant. And then third one is an easy one in there for everyone to the concept part, the vibrators, the initials, B, that's Buzzcocks. You can't say Cox. That's why you can't say cocks.

Have we got a winner? We have indeed. I chose him because his name amused me. Which is a bit harsh. No, no, no. Gerald Preston. Sorry, Gerald. I don't know why that tickled me. It's so unfair. It's not funny. There's nothing funny. There is nothing funny. I think it was because it sounded like it was the that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that the that that that the that that that that the that the that that th. It was that thi. It was that that thi. It was that that that that that thi. It's that's that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. It's their. It's their. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tick. the the tickl. the tickl. tickl. tickl. tickl. tickled. tickled. tickl. tick. t nothing funny with Gerald Preston. There is nothing funny funny. I think it was because it sounded like it was a man of a different generation. I think that was why it sounded like. That's terrible. I know. Right. There's nothing funny about that name. Steve just made me laugh. I don't know why that made us funny, made us laugh. But it just tickle me. But Gerald, whatever you think of your name, don't worry because these crimes include fat ones him.

There's nothing funny about Gerald Preston. I don't know Gerald if you're a fan of wild weather, but you've got a two VH set coming to your way. So you certainly will be interested in the extreme weather conditions by the end of the end of that I would have thought. So good luck Jerry. Oh dear. Excellent. Right, brilliant. Good. That's that sorted. Right, let's have another tune and then maybe some monkey news. Yeah.

Well actually now you've sort of mentioned a bit of monkey news that I've found something in the week right? That we've talked about's the matter with you? Right, do you know that thing we did ages ago? When we were out one day and we're talking about monkeys in a room with a PC and if you leave them in there long enough. Yeah, eventually an infinite amount of monkeys or one monkey in an infinite amount of time would eventually type the complete road to Shakespeare.

We talked about that ages ago. I said it wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't that it wouldn't that it wouldn't that's wouldn't that's wouldn't that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thoen't that's that's that's thoes tho' that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that complete real estate sphere. Yeah. We talked about that ages ago. Yeah. I said it wouldn't happen. No, it doesn't make sense. You can't say it wouldn't happen, it doesn't make sense. Anyway. Anyway, right, they got a couple of monkeys. All right. So not an infinite amount then. Okay, sorry. All right, but never mind. Yeah. Got a couple of monkeys, put it in a room. Yeah. I don't know if it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was a the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. It's. It's. It's. It's, their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. It don't know if it was one PC or they got a job lot or whatever. Not an infinite amount then. And left them in there for a month. Oh, not an infinite amount time then either. So two monkeys a month. I see the experiments working so far. About eight monkeys. Oh, eight monkeys. Oh, let me just work that out as a fraction of infinity. Oh, no, infinity eight into infinity. Oh God, a month. And what happened then, Carl? Did they type the complete watch of Shakespeare? I'm assuming they do? No, they only did a proportion of it. They just did Macbeth. What happened then,

Carl? They didn't have anything. They didn't come up with anything. You're an idiot, you're an idiot. Play a record. That's ridiculous. What did you expect? What th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, th. th. they didn't, th. th. th. th. th. they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they didn't, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they, they they they they they they they, they they they they they th. They, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the. that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that you expect what did you expect a bit a bit of Keats and pastry of the radio time by one of them the cleverest one no but what they did say is they didn't even get they didn't even write one word out one no you don't know infinity no infinity or nothing that's the point there's a big leap between any number you could think of and infinity. In fact, an infinite leap. Do you understand the concept of infinity? Don't rub your eyes? I lost him on Do you? Yeah. Right, play a record. Did they type nothing from like any of the book, any of the Tarsand books? Nothing. But they must have read them with that with their favorite, surely? I'm stunned! Did? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did they? Did? Did? Did they? Did th? Did th? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Did? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do, they? Do they? Do? Do they must have read that with their favourite, surely. I'm stunned.

I can't believe they didn't even do like a transcript of every which way but loose. Yeah. I can't believe it. They must have chose some really thick monkeys. They didn't type any of Charlton Heston speeches from Planoia. I can't believe it. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. You the thought six monks in a month would have done something. Yeah. At least the script for BJ and the Bear. The irony of course in Vijay and the Bear that it was a monkey not a bear. Really? Really? Stuck in a moment.

You can't get out of it by you two. I know how they feel. Oh, just a quick thought. I just had of it by you two, I know how they feel. Oh, just a quick thought, I just had a sudden thought, just a little update on something we talked about ages ago on the show. You might remember I said once that if I ever met Dido, I thought I had a good chance with her because she looks like the sort of woman a couple of songs and the boss said, I entered her in something and it won. She did them at the Christmas party, everyone clapped. Exactly yeah. Well anyway, just an update on that. So I haven't, yeah, I haven't, I haven't met her. Nothing's going on. So I'll keep

you a potion on that Rick. I know you're interested. I'll imagine it's a foreclosing. I' weird as we know when when I hear you matter you don't need to say any more okay well I'll just wink and say I met Dido last night and I go say no more you don't you don't need I'll just look a little blurry eyed yeah yeah yeah and probably just still within the same clothes from the mace yeah yeah right anyway I just thought keep me a breast of that yeah yeah all the the breasts from London Carl coe come on Carl the Do you have had a good week? You've had a good week. Do you have to do a month's notice? A little bit of friction, little bit of friction between Steve and Carl. I think they're, you know, they're getting to each other, which which is, well, he's under pants are pinching. Come on, Carl, c-a'eru-c- you're lucky, you know how many people would pay good

money to car you've had a good night out this week you went to the Sony's you had a free meal yeah that annoyed me I don't know we came away at your handed but yeah it was a good night wasn't it you enjoyed that do you enjoy that I ate it but go on I'm just finding more and more things are annoying me really like even like how about Sony's night right you've th the the I I I I I I I I I I the th. th. th. th. th. th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I to th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the the to th. I'm just to to to go to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm just th. I'm just the. I'm just te. I'm just te. I'm just te. I te. I'm just just te. I'm just try. I'm just to the. I'm just the. I? Like even, like at that Sony's night, right? You've got a lot of respectable people going to that thing, you know, people who are high up at the BBC and that. And just the way, you know, it's a posh night, there's people there with dinner jackets on and stuff. And then I went to the to toilet for a week. Old fella in there, I thought he looks, he he he he he he he he he th, he th, he th, he th, he th, he's th, he's th, he's tho, he's tho, he's tho, he's tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho' tho' tho' to to tho' to to tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' to the toilet for a wee. Old fella in there. I thought he looks, he looks like he's been in the, you know, the radio game for years,

probably done loads of award-winning Sony stuff. You know, all the BBC documentaries they do in-depth stuff and I thought, you know, I wonder if I'll be like him when I'm older, I'm as good as on him, thinking all that, He's having a wee in the next urinal. Farts. I know. Yeah. He's just farts. Yeah. Old fella in a dinner jacket probably hired. And I thought he's not even shot up. But is that they try to, they think, well I better do it in here.

And it's sort of like a trumpet and everyone just goes, know, I know what you mean. Is it, he's just the arrogance of doing it? It just did it, it sounded like a lost whale. No, and he didn't sort of go and try and clinch it, it went, he carried on, and then he went, oh, that was a good one. Really? Old fella, must have been about 70. Oh, dear. What, better out than in? Yeah. But it's not that I wasn't, I I I I I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, it, it, it was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, that, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, that, it, it, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's tot, totally, totally, totally, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, in? Yeah. But it's not that I wasn't I wasn't brought up like that you see? Right. Because I did it I mean I never really did it that much as a kid. Sure. And then I was at my mom and dad. You never try it that much as a kid? What part is yeah? Okay. Not not just like you know as a joke and we're taping this for next year's so any. so so so so so in the the to the to th. So in th. So in th. So in th. So in th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tod. t. t. a World, aren't we? We're taping this what we're talking about now, aren't we? To hand in? Because this is, go on. But I was at my mom and dad's, right? And Suzanne was sat on the floor in front of me and she was like, oh, I'll rub my neck, it's hurting. So I that. And I thah I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that's that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was tho, I was tho, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I. But, I. But, I. But, I. But, I was, I was, I. But, I was. But, I was. But, I was. But, I was. But, I was. But, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was a that, I was that, I was just just that, I was that, I was that, I was just just that, I was that, I was that, I was that, I was that. So I thought the only way to shift her I'll let one go right. So I did that. It's such a loving relationship. I love that. That's great. Uh, like doing the washing up badly. She won't ask me again. What have you done? I've smashed the cups up and I've written

written in excrement across the wall. Well that's no good isn't it? Well I won't do it. Well that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not. Well. Well, I that's not. Well, I that's not. Well, I' that's that's not that's not that's not that's not. Well, that's not that's not that's that's that's that's that's that's great. Well, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's great. I' that's great. I' that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's that's great. I that's that's great. I that's great. I that's that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I the the that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's great. I that's that then. Maybe the Marigold's all doing. I've now the cat to the fridge. What's up with that? Go on. Yeah, so I did that and it works. She's like I got off and said, oh, my dad said, what what do you do that for? What was he thinking? So I said, oh, I hate rubbing a neck. Does me head in. So he says, you know, I've never trumped in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in front in front in front in in in front in front in front in front in in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front in front for 40 years. Sorry, where was this? Chiggly? Why is this family talking like this? Young Carl, I've never trumped in front of your mother in the 35 years. Why are you, why, what, I don't know what... No, it's just that he said, you know, we've done a lot of things in the family. Hold on. What, what did he say that for? What is never, he's never trumped in front of your mother? He just offered that information up. Well he just was surprised that I did it. He said, where have you got that from?

Yeah. Whoa, you're lowering testines I thought. What do you have to imagine? Imagine there's a class of farting? Oh, we haven't told our kids about it. We haven we don't do it in front of it. You have to learn it, do you? No, I know, but there's a place, that's what I was always told. Go on. There's a place for that. Cornwall. So, and my mom, you know, it's the same, she doesn't do it. She goes to to the to do. It's, to do. It's, to do. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the got to do. She makes sure like she'll sort of say things like are you going out for a walk? Are you going out for a walk? Does she think, does she know that you're broadcasting this? Well yeah. Probably around the neighbors now listening. Yeah. Any of you going out for a walk?

Yeah. So she what she kind of she waits until everyone's left or she doesn't like the thought that everyone do you know like cats don't like you're staring at them when they're doing it? I've never stared at a cat what he's doing a pet cat? No it's just that cats you know if you get in a little litter tray yeah I remember being told like now when it does use it don't sort of go and look at it. He puts it off. I was the same as a kid. I didn't, when I had a nap.

When I had a nap toy. Who comes and looks at you when you're on the bottle? No, no, no, when I had a napy on. Oh yeah, how old are you? I don't know about about three or something. Right. And I used to always go to this corner and everyone said right. Everyone said, right, they're going to the corner. Don't watch, don't watch, you look like a baby. It's just the pain his head put it there. Would you, okay, would you put a nappy on for 50 quid? Now? Yeah, just I've just been

just sitting just do your work, right? Well anyway, anyway, so I'm not getting it, I'm not doing that, right? So yeah, no ma'am's like that and something, it's Mrs Pilkton just in the corner, just don't look at her, yeah, don't look at Mrs P, she's just in the corner of our kitchen, don't just look what's she doing? Just, she's just doing her business. She's there she is, there she is squatting. Are you going for a walk? Sorry, you were saying, kind of, uh, another trick, to the tooilet and, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to to, to, to to to, to, to, just, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the their.... the their. their. their. to, she. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the something and you don't want to leave your mark just use... Go down the toilet and flush it. Use a tecke a box of matches with you. Yes. That's what a curse. Burn the place down have a wonderful crap and just leave when the

fire brigade get there. Oh forget it. Excellent. Who is it? Who is it? Vines? Yeah. It's a good one. We don't go brilliant, do you?

If you're going to talk, you'd say something useful. There you're, vines they're homesick. Brilliant. No, come we should do monkey news now because I know you want to save it, but I think you, I you, I you, I you, I you, I you, I you, you, I you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, think, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. No, can't we, you should do monkey news now because I know you want to save it, but I think you should put your best stuff first. You never know what will happen, you know what I mean? Always put your best stuff out there. Let me just get it out of the...

Okay, well, what's getting it, can we have a jingle? Oh! Chimpanzee that! Monkey ewes! Tell you what, right? About putting your best stuff first. Yeah. Do you know what we were saying the other week about in Chinatown? Not really a town? Well, it's not a town, right? And like, the restaurants, they hanged, they have like... Oh, those, oh, dead ducks and chickens, just hanging in the restaurants, the young, they have like... Oh those, oh dead ducks and chickens just hanging in the window, yeah. An octopus and all that, just hanging there.

Yeah. And that doesn't like, make you want to go in, does it? No, sure. This morning, walking through Soho on the way in, walk past this sort of strip joint place. This woman said, do you want to come in, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, All right, turn round, she must have been about 80. So you're acquitting her to a hangy bit of octopus. She said, are you performing? And a chicken? I'm just saying, again, put your best stuff at the front door.

Yeah, good thinking. All right, anyway, better monkey news, that's been sent in. Right. Gareth in Catford. Uh, Gareth in Catford. Right, good work Go. Um, basically it's about this, uh, this monkey. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Uh, it's got a gig out in an airdressers.

What are you talking about? What are you talking about? It's got a nice little job going in an airdressers. As what? It gets people sitting down and what it does before the people have their air cut that it sort of sits there and it goes through people's air, make sure it's clean and people are loving it. So it's a pet monkey. So it's a pet monkey? So it's a pet monkey? So it's a pet monkey. Isn't it the do with it getting a gig in an air dressers? It's a pet monkey. It's not working at a monkey and guy. Yeah. No, seriously,

it's in there. I think it might have started off as a job. So what was it saying, it says, Junior 15 pounds, Stylist 35 pounds, Monkey was 63 pounds. Cut and blow dry. It was wondering It was wondering about. It was good. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's to work. It's th. It's thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not theat. It's not theat. It's not theat. It's not theathea. It's not theat. It's not working. It's not working. It's not working. It's not to work. It's not the jungle. It was wondering about. Maybe he did start off. But it looks good, its hair looks good, someone thought, hang on. Never, ever, you see, people make that mistake with airdresses anyway. I always say, well, if the airdress has got a good air cut, go to where he's going. Right? Right. Because that's what I thought when I read it, without having a good air cut. How often do you go to go the the air to go to go to go the air to go the air the air to go the air the air the air the air the air th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. thi. that, th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's thoooooooooo. It's th. It's thooo. It's, go to their dresses? Well not that much anymore, but I used to always think that. You used to go to a bloke who told me had his shack on a railway bridge that used to shake when a train went over. Because it was two quid. Yeah, but before that, I've never had that much luck with air dresses. Before that was another place and it was run by sort of you know these sort of wannabe

gangster type people. Oh yeah but they'd you know you're going by wannabe gangsters? Well sort of just just petty crime stuff you're going for air cut. You know what I mean? You don't have to take it? No I know but they'd sort of spend ages flogging you that whilst cutting your air it was their thing it's like right sit down you're all right oh so so so so so so so you so you so you so you so you so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're so you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're you're so you're you're so? you're so? you're so? You're so I I they're so I they're so I they're so I'd they'd they'd they're so, you're they're they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they? they'd they to they'd sort sort sort sort sort they'd sort sort sort they'd sort sort they'd sort they'd sort sort they'd sort they'd sort they'd sort they'd sort they'd sort they like right sit down you're right oh yeah so that for the weekend what do you think they'll maybe a Sony yeah so and so that's when I stopped going there because it was like this is what I hair cut I don't want to be ass all the man which one said that you had the hair of a Chinathe's a Chinat to the railway station. So um... Can we just go back to Monkey News process?

So anyway, that's all, yeah. I didn't quite follow. Why, he's, he still, his salon is in the jungle? Or where is it? No, he was doing his, doing what he does in the jungle, right? Right. Um, he's walking about, he wanders into the airdressers. Maybe they didn't have him on like as a job straight away he was just there. This is nice. He sat there picking the knits and oh I don't know where to start. It's just that it's the embellishment. You don't walk in, he walked from a jungle to an airdress. I mean you're an idiot. You really are. I'd love to see you try and get a job. I'd try. I'd to try. I'd to try to try to try to try to try to try to try to the job. I'd to try to to the job. I'd to the job. I'd to to the job. I'd to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their. I'd their their their their their their. K. K. K. K. K. K. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Ki. Kill. Ka. Kek, try. Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. Ka. You'd never get a job. So he was good at that. People said this is relaxing, apparently had really nice hands, soothing,

right, on people's heads. He said, let's put him on the payroll. Let's put him on the payroll! What do you mean? Now, I'll give you that. Okay, this is the news item, is it? Customers are queing up to have the hair to have their their to have their their their their to have their their hair to have their hair to have their hair their hair to have their hair their hair to have to have their hair hair to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have their hair done at a salon in the jungle by a monkey. Judy, a pig-tailed macaque, has a reputation as the best exterminator of headlice in Comcane. She is so good some customers fall asleep under her gentle touch. Regular Ampour on Chekema said, Judy's hands are so soft and gentle, I really feel I can relax. But you know that is doing what it does naturally. It's looking for like salt and stuff in the hair.

Yeah. And it's not on the payroll. It doesn't complain about when it gets deducted at national insurance. It's not part of the union. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? But a good monkey news, you know, backed up with good tablet journalism. Yeah, with solid evidence there. So, now that's, I think we should start marking the monkey news, Rick.

I don't know what do you think, given it marks out of ten maybe? For both interest and validity. Well for interest, I'll give it seven. For Carl's, Carl's, believing that there was something to this monkey thinnke and But it was also doing kind of perms and colouring. Two. Ridiculous. Again, ridiculous. More monkey news next week. Hopefully let's just hear that jingle again. Oh, chimpanzee that brilliant? Cat Stevens. Now, well, I've sort of enjoyed the last sort of hour or so after the disappointment of

the Sony's. I think we are going to give up, to be honest, do another week and then shoot off. Yeah, knock it on the head. Okay, we're doing it for a laugh anyway. But... If they're not going to reward us for that, then it's not really worth it. But I tell you what could... But what about this? Carl, can you find out it was on the panel? Can you? But what difference does it make? Well, I want themselves. Just explain themselves. They've got to stand by the convictions. Find them all, track them down. There's probably about three... I want to tell the truth. No, you're right. The monkey you should have done the job for you. I don't know why they're all. I don't want to sit in a room and hide. I want the the the the the the three the three the three the three. I the three. I the three. I the three. I the three. I the three. I'm the three. I'm the three. I'm the three. I'm the three. I'm the three. I'll the three. I'll the three. I'll the three. I'll the three. I'll the three. I'll the three. I'll the three. I'll the three. I'll the three. I'll probably. I'll probably. I'll probably. I'll probably. I'll probably. I'll probably. I'll probably. I'll probably. I'll the the the the the the the the three. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. their. th. their. their. their. their. I'lldy amateurist annoying there was too much swearing I'll go Fair enough well done mate you We didn't vote for you because Carl's voice is an irritant okay

Okay, well done mate you're all right. We didn't vote for you because Jervais you're a fat useless git who understands nothing about broadcasting and you might go something yeah and I'll go right. I'm not so happy with that. I'm not so happy with that, that, well. that, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, that, that, that, that, that, fair, fair that, fair that, fair that, fair enough, fair enough, that, that, fair enough, that, that, fair enough, that, fair enough, that, fair enough, th. th fair enough, fair enough, that, fair enough, fair enough, that, fair enough, fair enough, about broadcasting. And you might know something. Yeah, and I'll go, right, I'm not so happy with that, but at least you told the truth. But get them on the phone. Find out, find out from Andrew. I know, it's none of them have mentioned me, which is good. I know, yeah. Yeah, yeah, they probably all love Steve. the lid. Well, do you know what I mean? That's... I'm just...

We got a player request here for what's her name who's... I don't believe it is. Sonia, who's 18 today, we couldn't find William. It was really nothing worse to be because whoever is in charge of the library. I mean, they probably won an award for it, but, you know, she didn't ask for four non-blons. So I found there is a light by the the the the the Smith the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their their their their their th. th. thirt. thirton. thirton's thirtonist. thrives. thirtonist. thirtonist. thirtonit's thirt. thirt. thirt. We've thirt. thirt. thirt. thirt. thirt. thirt. thirt. thirt. thirt. thirt. thirt. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. threat. thin thin's threat. threat. threat. threat. threat. threats threats threats threats threats threats threats threats. We's threats threats. We's threats threats. We's threats. We're threats. th library. I mean they probably won an award for it but you know she didn't ask for four non-blons so I found there is a light by the Smiths so a week to go.