The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E40 (May 31, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

Out of Time on XFM 104.9, I'm Ricky Javais, with me is Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkington. I really like that blur track. I think it's the best thing they've ever done. Blimey. So, strong words. They can quote me on that if they want. Yes, I'm there. I'm there, on their, you know, you know something's happened, I've done them back in again. Right. I've got a special chair in here. I'm in agony and I'm on the strongest pain killers I can get, I feel a bit, right? Carl, I had to call Carl up today and say, look, I don't know if I can make it in, can you come and get me? he came over to my house. We got in a car, we in, we in, we in, we in, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we the car, we got in, we got in, we got in, we got in, the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm in, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, the the th.... th. th. th. tha''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, I'm th was around my house, Jane showed him sort of a camcorder footage of how I actually did it. Of how you hurt your back? And I

wanted Carl to tell you because I was actually worried if I didn't turn out what you'd say to me. Yes. What was I doing, Carl? Right, so I get around to his place, right? It play on the video. Right? Have you ever seen a gorilla having a fight? I think I have, yeah. He was like that. Him and his mate around his place last night, decided to sort of have a bit of a wrestle.

Yes. It went on, I mean, how much footage? It was like a scene from women in love. We had about five fights, we had to stop at one point because his arm was bleeding. He had about five fights? Yeah, well we were wrestling, we were doing wrestling right in the just behind the cange. Yeah! Like we'd had to run on our knees and then sort of like to run with an arm lock. And I was, you know, it was it, I the the the the the the th, I was, I was, I had th, I was, I was, I was, I was, I had th, I was, I was, I was, I had th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, we had the the the the that, we had the, we had to to to to to stopped, we had to stopped, we had to stopped, we had to to to to to to to stop, we had, we had, we had, we had to, we had to, we had to, we had to, we had to, we had to, we had th, we had th, we had th, we had th, we had th, we had the, we had the, we had there, we had there, we had there, we had to to to stop, we had to stop, to stop, their, to stop, we had to stop, we had to stop, we had to stop, we had to stop, we had to stop, we had to stop, we had to stop, we? And then the last time he sort of threw me and I went on the back and my back was done.

And I was, you know, it was Ian Morris. Yes. It was, you know, he's no, isn't he a, isn't he the commissioning editor of comedy at Channel 4? Yeah, and the funny thing was that we'd had lots and lots of wine. You surprised me? Yeah, right. Come on, come on, come on. I could take and film this. And the time we filmed, I said, film this, and I said, oh, right.

And I took my shirt. It's right there. It's right there. And you can just sit and just slap him. Why? Why? couple of drinks, you know some intellectual conversation. How does it get round to do you fancy wrestling me? Well I'm having it filmed? Well I was on the couch but I kept sticking my socks in his face to annoy him right? And then he hit me on the shin and I got sharp shins and it hurt and I was gonna smack your face in

and he's done kickboxing and it fights that skater dude on the Osborne? I was very much the Jack Osborne figure. Oh yeah, the fat-loaded guy just came out of rehab. I tell you what it was like, Steve, have you seen like the David Attenborough stuff? Where, like, a tiger will be ripping a DZ off and you think, why don't the camera crew stop it? I sort of watch you thinking, why was Jane just let this happen? Why is she not stepping in and intervening? And the thing is she said, right, you've seen enough, haven't you, and stopped it? So I don't know how much footage you got. It wasn't much.

Because your lounge is not huge and there's not much. Because the lounge, because the back arm marks. I mean how do you start with the rest of them actually you both stood up or you're on your knees and you sort like go together like ratting seals. Yeah. Yeah. Oh dear. Like a giant walrus. It's not gay. Play a record. Could we put that online? Could we get that on the web? That I would love to say. That I would love to say. Yeah. That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That I. That? That I, that? That I that? That I would. That I would? That I would? That I would? That I would? That I would. That? That? Yeah. That I would would would would would would? That? Yeah? That I would would would would would would would would would would would. That? Yeah. That? Yeah. That? Yeah. That? Yeah. That? Yeah. That? Yeah. That? That? Yeah. That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That? That I would? That? That I would? That? That I would? That? I would? That I would? I would? I would? I would? I would? I would? I would? I would? I would? I would? I would? I would that? I would that? I would that? I would that? I'd that? I would that? I'd that say. Better Roger Stewart? Yeah. Yeah. Stuart, May. Indeed.

You mean to say no more. If people don't know what it is from that information, ex-Juvaise merchant pilt. Exactly. All right. Exactly. Rick, I was out last night. I always, things upset me like this.

It was a restaurant, it was a little French restaurant but you barely notice it you walk past it was like a row of houses and a little French restaurant there open it was gonna summary bistro no one in there Rick it was about 10 to 10 to 10 on a Friday evening it's doomed and it really upset me it's really upset me because I always think about the little French guy you know he's put all his the the the they. he he he's they. he's the they. he's the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their I I I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their I was their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the the the the thro. the the the the the the the that he's convinced his wife to do it you know she's not convinced but she's a great cut Eve exactly and it's already going down the pan you know why you don't want French food in a hot summer's night you're on Mexican food indeed I'm kind of tied but exactly but then I was because we were just

discussing other things that upset us and a like glimpse so well well true obviously war obviously obviously I started with war, famine, famine, disease, SARS, that sort of thing. And then it came down the list to, I'm worried about people who manufacture fax machines. Why? Because the technology is moving on. Well, I mean if you want to, say you're a little company, you make fax machines. A little what? A little company? You're making fax machines. Are you're allowed to use email? What like if you work for Coke you're not able to drink Pepsi publicly? Exactly. It just seems like I'm assuming the fact machine sales of plummeting. Now the thing is, right? Is it, now I haven't got a fax. Now I haven't got a fax. But I'm much prefer a fax. Because you get it, it comes out the other side. Yeah, but I mean, it is what is, it is, it is, it's, I's, I's, I's, I'm. It's, I'm, I'm the fact, I'm assuming. I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming, I'm assuming they've sent, that's what's great about a fax. But you can print off your email can't you and then you've got it a hard copy. Wow, it's sort of instant, you know, I don't look at the emails, the fax comes out, it's

there it goes, it's like someone putting a little post now in your face, do you know what I mean? I mean, you're the email, you're in the fax industry, give us a call, tell us, you know, what sort of figures, you know. You know, exactly, yeah. We want to go down 17%? Something like that. I like getting letters.

Exactly, those are're loving it and you. I like getting letters. Well no one says letters. You like getting a scroll from a man on a horse. Yeah. When do you get letters? My mom still sends me the odd letter? Sure. Even though I call, she'll still, she likes sitting down at a table and you know. So what you call and ask the questions, there's no reply and then you get a letter later going, question one yes I am well. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi that that that that one that one that one tho tho tho thathe that's thathe tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that one thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe thathe that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you that, you that, you're that, that, you that, that that that that that that th you get a letter a day later going, question one yes I am well. Question two, yes your father's well. Yeah, it's nice though, isn't it? Yeah, it's nice to receive a letter, yeah. It's always nice to receive a letter. Particularly if like, you know, you're on a sort of expedition. But, yeah, what does annoy me though? You were looking at him the other day, you know, you were, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, thi, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, talking about the pictures on and postcards. Yes. Don't like them. You don't like you don't like postcards? No they annoy me. Just because it's never anything of any interest and the fact that even though it's been sent to you, you're the last one to read it. I just thrown every day every time I'd horrify her by putting on it, having a lovely time, does that pig of a postman still read all

your letters and she'd just be horrified, just be terrified he'd looked at all the time. Fantastic. This is what worries me. I've always assumed that people would read a postcard. If I was a postman, I would definitely read every postcard. If I was definitely read every, I would definitely're posting, as you're posting through the letterbox, you'd have a quick look, wouldn't you, see what they were up to. Because that's why I never used to write anything of any interest on a postcard, because I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want anyone to sort of know what I was up to.

Let's say I was on a holiday now, Carl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would just write some some some some some, I've the sun. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I never. I'd. I'd. I never. I never. I never. I didn't. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I didn't. I didn't. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I. I'd. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I didn't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't th............................... th.... th...... th..... I don't. I don't. I don't. I got home. Well he's looking forward to going on a holiday now, Carl, because he's got some prescription lens sunglasses. We're talking about that after the break. Better darkness, look forward to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. An amusing story of a man wearing glasses. Oh, the darkness growing on me. It certainly is an XF-4. tho-9. tho'-l-l-fo'-lo'er, th-l-l-ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffewl-ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffew. th, th-d-wee. We'er, we're tho'er, we'er. We's-wee. We's-wee. We's-wee. tho'er. tho'er. th-wee. We's-wee. We's-wee. We's-n'er. We's-n'er. We's-n'er. We's-n'er. We's-n'er-n'er-n'er-n'er-n'er-n'er-n'er-liiiiiiiiiii-lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllggggg. th-s. th-a'l, lads. I'm Rooking to Bays with me Steve Wear Joe. It's good to see that your back pain has not impaired your DJing abilities. Yeah, I know. I'm a professional. I'm a professional. Yeah, put the glasses on for Carl. Well, see now, because I wear glasses normally I've always had problems with

glasses. The thing about glasses is it stops you from doing so many things and you might not realise if you're a non-glasses wearer, certain things that you can never do. Like for instance I have never been able to go into the mosh pit at a gig and get carried above everyone. You know what? They carry you above everyone on? Because I knew someone would just go to. But you don't need to. You can see from the back. I've to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. I have, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for. For, for. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For. For, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, for, jump on the stage and do a stage dive and all the rest of it. So that's one of the things I've missed out on. Missed out on, you know, sport really, because there's a lot of, boxing for instance, I could never do, I never do boxing, never do wrestling, so our big championship showdown is

not going to to wear them occasionally. I was, I think I was, it meant I couldn't see things a long way away. And obviously I got them, but I was at school and I was a bit self-conscious, didn't want to really tell anyone I had glasses. I just, I didn't reveal to anyone I was wearing them. So, I used to put my glasses on because I didn't want people to know I had glasses so I couldn't see what was being written on the board you have to copy stuff down from the board science equations things like that I had no idea so I'd have to try and copy of someone next to me but not that wasn't always possible because I had to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do it to do it to to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do to do it to do to do it to do it to do it to to to to to to that that I to that I to that I that I to to that I that I that I to that I that I to that I to to that I to to to that I to to to to to to to ook to doing was sharpening my pencil every sort of 35 seconds going up,

memorizing what was on the board. And I got a D in science. Oh that's awful though. It's a big, it's a tough thing, glasses. It really is when you first start wearing if you're young. It was education versus vanity. Yeah, it's terrible isn't it. And now he's sorted out his hair. He's was stylish stylish because when I met him it was like I mean

what was all gummage he won't mind me saying that yeah his glasses were I mean idiotic when I met him and he's got some stylish glasses now so he's sorted that out yeah his clothes he's quite a fashionable bloc and when I first met him it looked like a nerd so it's step with these and I think you'll agree, pop them on Steve. Well you know, I don't... Imagine him on the beach. Close your eyes, Carl. Are they closed?

I can't see. I've taken my glasses off. That's a weird thing as well, isn't it? There thee. What are you laughing at? Look, what are you laughing at, Carl? There's nothing funny about those. Stop smirking. I can see fliuking. Don't forget, you can see they're not real sunglasses, they're prescription lenses, so you can see you now.

You see, I never knew you had to do that with sunglasses. I didn't think you had to have the... Yeah, well, when it's bright, I'm sorry. don't need to wear them. So they're looking cool but they're bumping into stuff. No, but if your eyes aren't that good then the sun shouldn't be bothering them. Just saying? No, I always wondered about Roy Orbison, why was he doing that? What? Roy Orbison always had shades on, didn't he? And he was blind and stuff. It's like, what's the point of that? Well because I don't, I don't, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, don't, I'm guessing, well I don't even want to, I don't know. What are you talking about? Roy Obson was blind, wasn't he? Yeah, was he?

I thought he just had a very, very bad vision. No, I think he was a blind father, one. I don't think he had a very poor vision. I don't know what this conversation to the the equipment and he's just got off on a completely vis-à-tangent. When I went, he went, I was going to pick up my prescription lenses. And he went, we had to wait and the bloke came, he said, oh yeah, Mr. Mention, here they are. And as he was getting out of it, I'm just trying to embarrass Steve, I went to him. They are the exact ones that Keano Reeves, no I'm joking, I'm joking. But, uh, yeah. Tell you what frustrates me, can I just say, as a glasses wearer, and this is just a note

to everyone out there who isn't a glasses wearer, when people ask constantly to try on your glasses, can I try on your glasses? And they try them on, and they always say the same thing, oh, I can't see a thing! expecting? X-ray vision? No. Yeah I know. Don't ask. If you're in glasses where you don't want people asking to try any glasses. But I think they don't realize that by going, oh God, your eyesight's bad. It's not like, you know what I mean? It's not like, you know, let's ever go with your calipers. Right and popping that much it's an inconvenience do you maybe have to put glasses on all the time. Did I mention a moss pit thing? I know but it's not yeah but you're not you're not you're not um what's your vision it's just blurred is it? No I can't

see anything it's really bad it's really bad if I take my glasses off, you are just a blur. I see, now I can see nothing, it's just a couple of bold heads. I know only one of you's bold, so... You're looking at Carl twice? Yeah, exactly. All right. It's your vision 2020? Well, there you go. That's Steve's Eyes on X-FM. Next week, Rickie's Knees. A bit of vinyl. Yeah, now, listen, I want to mention this new Morrissey compilation. It's a new series, I'm assuming a number of different rock stars are going to do it. It's called Under the Influence and various rock stars get to choose, obviously songs which they grew up listening to and that have influenced them. And this is from Morrissey, he's the first person to do it. And there's some stuff on there, a bit odd and a bit oddborne, there's some stuff which is good and the the the thoans, and there thoan, and thoan, and tho, and there tho, and there the tho, and there tho, and there tho, and there their, and their, and some to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their songs, their their their their their their their songs, their their songs to to to to to to to to to to to he was the president of the New York Dolls Fan Club in England and this is from there, this is trash. The New York Dolls Trash from this new compilation under the influence compiled by Morrissey. Are they the original punk band?

Oh eight, seven and eight hundred one two three four? Well everyone knows they are. Now we don't call in. Don't call in. Please, we're not interested. th. th. th. th. th. th. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. th. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't, th. Don't. Don't, th. Don't th. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't call in. Please. We're not interested. No point. Rick, it's half past one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Call Play and the scientist on XFM 104.9, VillageMai, Stephen Murchin and Carl Pilkington. We saw an interesting site on the way here, didn't we, Steve? Yeah. When we came in yesterday to, uh... To plan the show, yeah. We actually annoyed Carl for half hour and left. But a bloke with a the the the the half the half the half the half the the half the half th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th it's half it's half it's half it's half it's half it's half it's half th th th th th. It's half it's half it's half it's half it's half it's half it's half it's it's it's it's it's half it's it's it's half it's it's it's it's it's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's half. It's half. It's half. It's half. It's half. It's half. It's th. It's thooo' thoo' thoooo' thooooo'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'era'era'era'er. It's show. To plan the show. Yeah. We actually annoyed Carl for half hour and left. But a bloke with a completely tattooed face. I don't know what stage you are in,

you know, what stage you're at in your life when tattooing your own face is a good idea. But this wasn't sort of like, you know, tribal or religious when it was a bloke just had a sort of tattoo on his forehead and around his eyes professionally done. It looked quite old so I don't know if tattoos do that now and I think they've probably got to watch themselves but I just think there's not rules about what you can tattoo. I'm assuming if you're a tattooist you can do what you want you can tattoo anything. I wouldn't have thought that's probably some comeback isn't there. I mean I I I I I I I I th probably I th probably I th probably I th probably I th probably I th. I th. I th. I th. I that probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably I that probably probably I that, I that, I that-I that-I tho, I'm probably probably probably probably thatu, I'm probably tho, I'm probably tho, I'm probably tho, I'm probably probably probably probably probably probably, I'm probably probably probably, I'm probably probably, I'm probably, I'm probably probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I'm probably, I's probably, I's probably, I've probably, I've probably, I've, I've, I've probably, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've probably,they've got to be sober, I think you've got to be over 20, well I don't know, over something and I wouldn't have thought many tattoists would tattoo someone's face. Would they? Well I don't know, have you met tattooists?

I mean I don't want to slag them off, but they are like, you know. I know. I know, I don't, I just wouldn't tattoo someone's face, do you know what I mean? No, I've been worried about... You'd wrestle a man to the ground and then hurt you back. No, I know. Does everyone ever regret it? I mean, I'm sure some people regret a tattoo. Whenever someone shows me a tattoo, I go, that's brilliant. Because I can't bear to go, that because they can't change it, there's no point. What do you think? I go, it's brilliant.

I read in the paper, was it a man or a woman who had David Beckham, they just had Beckham on their arm? Just not a picture of him, but the word Beckham tattooed on their arm. Spell wrong. They've missed out the name of David Beckham on your arm? Because home tattoos are the best though. What's it done with a pin and a sort of ink in prison? It's like with skins. Yeah, it's sort of wonky because they've done it in a mirror. What does that say? Well, read it. Yeah. Yeah I did it in a mirror. Profanity. Have you, would you ever toy with a tattoo, guys? No, I've told you about me, my uncle's stand before, I'm there. The tattoo, tato tattoo, he's just covered in them. It just looks a mess. Do you know what I mean? You can be wearing the best suit in the world but you but you but you th th. But you th th. But you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th toy. toy. toy. toy. toy toy toy toy toyu toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy. Do toy. Do toy. Do toy. Do toy. Do toy. Do toy. Do toy. Do toy toy. Do toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy Well, those tattos can be quite tasteful.

No, but he was covered, it was not like, you know, cut here on his neck and... It's just, yeah, a mess and he did a lot of his own. I've told you about him before. Have you? I don't remember it. Yeah, because I kids' names on his arms and it's like can't you remember him? Yeah, yeah. He might have had a lot. No he did. But. And do you remember even from a young age thinking that looks rubbish? Yeah. Yeah. And I mean it would probably be about 60 now. I'd love to see what he looks like. Yeah. Well, it's just a a a lot a lot a lot a lot. There was a lot. There was a lot. There was a lot. There was a lot. There was a the the the the the the the the the the the they. There was a they. There was a th. There was a th. It was a th. It was. It was. It was. It was a th. It was, th. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was a the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It was a the th. It was a the the the the th. It was a the th. It was a the th. It was a th. It was a th. It was. It was. It was. It was love to see what he looks like. Well, it's just looking at it. There was another, there was a story the other day in one of the magazines that I read about this fella who had a... Well this should be bizarre or 14 times then, one of the magazines you read.

So it's going to be... It's not the spectator. No. But this feller had a big big eagle put on his back, with a snake sort of covering it. And, um... So, such rubbish isn't it? This kind of symbols of sort of dynamism and life. Yeah, I know, yeah. A snake and an eagle. Yeah, a large-breasted vampire woman riding a dragon. Yeah. Yeah, that's always a good one. But, you know, this fella had that, and he had it in his will, that when he died, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, sort the, sort, sort, sort, sort the, sort of, sort th, sort th, sort th, sort th, sort th, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the s the s always a good one. But you know this fellow had that and he had it in his will that when he

dies he wanted his son to have the skin taken off. Oh God. I'm putting a putting like a little frame. Oh God. Oh God that's horrific. What's that? That's that's horrific. Yeah. Oh, that's my dad's back. Yeah. Oh, that's that's that's that's that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the that's the that's the the that's a that's a that's. that's. that's. that's. the that's a that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's. Oh. Oh. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's that? Asmeda's back? Yeah. Oh are you sure? God. No no. Because I was, I read it and kind of thought, started having sort of memories of Antinora again. Yeah. Because she used to always like, uh... Now Antinora is the woman who farted for five minutes. She had wind for five minutes. Sure. But she also, she used to say, oh, Carl, rub me back. And, uh, with her being quite old, it was all old moly and warty. It was mouldy? No, it was all moly. Oh, moly. Right. And what did you do? I didn't like it. I hated it, in fact. It was like putting your hand in a load of cocoa pops. Oh dear. Oh really big brown things. And I just thought, framing hers would be sort of 3D-ish.

Right, yeah. Look, what's that, a chunk of the moon? Yeah, yeah. Did you are text that wall? Yeah, that's not a nora's back. Oh God! Any piece of your body can't you leave behind? That's disgusting!

Is she the one with a split tennis ball when she wasn't wearing niggers? What? No, it's not disgust to tennis ball. Okay. So she used to get you to sort of knead her dough on her bag. This is really bad, don't she? But what would she, with her, with her dress, whatever? She wore those squid-looking thin. and he's like, oh, well, sorry, what, what? What? Those squid looking? That's aren't in Nora covering, octopus is.

What do you mean to look? It's like a nightgown type thing, but. But what's a squid got to do with it? Because it sort of looked like a squid around the edge. Oh, I know, frilly things, yeah, yeah. And she just say, oh, oh, I'm just, oh, oh, oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, it's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It. It, it. It. It, it. It. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, she was never, do you know what I mean? She's always had something wrong with her. I don't ask her, she's just like, you know she's not going to be alright. Is she have wind when you were sort of neat? It must be like playing an accordion. Is it like, yeah.

Yeah, get a little tune-word. Yeah. Wow, what's it? What that. Why? What do I, what have I, what have I come across there? What's up with that? What's it with any hazel? Is that what's it wrong with her? What? It's just a, uh, a lesbian, which is nothing wrong with that. Well, no, but you've made it sound like there is now, but I know what you're getting at just because I call her uncle Aisel. I'm going to play a record. He's from Manchester, please forgive him. Lizzie, don't believe a word XFM 104.9, I'm Ricky James with me, Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkington.

Email here from Chris, he said you met a girl in Australia whose boyfriend tattoo tattoo with the word psycho, except the spelling was wrong, and she ended scarred for life with the word Fisco PHYSCO PHYSCO I mean a word of warning if you're going out today to get a tattoo they're tattooists. English is probably not their speciality so be careful write it down for the first. You are walking on thin eyes so I've seen some of these boys they're big sure and if they're willing to stick . big, and if they're willing to stick lumps of metal through their faces, what are they going to do to you?

Well, yeah, indeed. So Steve's sorry to all tall tand to us. The piercing, you say I have a weird problem with the piercing as well, because I mean the earrings that makes sense. I had earrings ages ago, but I had earings ages ago, but I was about 18 and I took two in one and they did it right and he just went and I went oh god. Did you have them in both the ear? It's just it was like a staple guy just went to yeah yeah and yeah and it didn't really hurt and I thought well I'm not doing that again it hurts too much and it just throbbed.

Were you still living with your parents at the time? No I would have your your kind of your their their their their their parents. their parents. their parents. their parents. their parents. their parents. their parents. their parents. their parents. their parents. their. their. their. their. their. I. I was. they. I was. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, they're. Oh, they're. Oh, they're. Oh, they're. Oh, they're. Oh, oh, they what do people, your kind of Oiky Redding family, what would they have made of? Oh well they know I had them afterwards, yeah. But did they take the mic? Oh God, of course they did, yeah. Yeah, you ain't great, ain't like that. Oh you'll get followed. Oh look at you, look at that. Yeah, that's disgusting. And I was not, when I was in a romantic, when the romantic, when I was no romantic, when I was no, I was no, I was a romantic the romantic the romantic the romantic the romantic the romantic the romantic the romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic romantic, I was a romantic, I was a romantic, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a their, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I had, I had, I had, I had a the thom., I had a thom., thom., thom., tho, th., tho, tho., th. Of. Of. Of. Of. Of, th. Of, tho it like one ear is for gay people and one is for

straight people? Is that just a myth? I don't know. It might be. Yeah, there probably was sort of like signs for that. It's like when you're growing up I had loads like a white polon neck and a ring on your little finger that means you're gay. Yeah, yeah.

You can see him coming. Yeah. It, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, the the the tho, the tho, is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is that, is, is a that, is a that, is a that, is a that, is a that, is a that, is a th, is a th, is just a th, is just a th. It is just a th. It's a th. It's a tho, is just a tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It is just a tho. It's a tho. It's a tho, is just a that means you're gay. Yeah. Yeah. You can see him coming. Duh. Duh. Dund. Dund. Dund. Dund. Who's just consoling your little chart? Exactly. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. Those are the earrings in the left ear. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Because I don't know but you know where is this information I wouldn't have known that I might have gone around you know with you know if it was hot weather yeah something to mop my brow I wouldn't have that they're the toughs I know what can't the gay people can't have some kind of website I know have some kind of you know you're safe in there with all they're the cats, great guys. A lot of them are firemen, a lot of them are like traffic cops. Great people. You know you're safe in there. It's no women to,

rha-wha and no, no, no, it's like you're just having a great time with the lad. Just playing pool, strip to your waist. Yeah, I know, yeah. I can talk. I can talk. I can talk. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. their. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. the the their. You. You're. You're. You're. You. Yeah, you. Yeah, you're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You're. You. You. You. You. You. You. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, you. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same. You're the same. You're the same. You're the same. You know, you're the same. You're the same. You're the same. You're the same. You're the same. the same. the the same. the it's some you're cruising around in your open top Chevy now Steve I see there it's a track by little Kim but how are you pronouncing it I'm pronouncing that correctly Lil Kim oh no T's involved and it's the jump off featuring mr. Cheeks I don't know what I find out funny but Mr Cheeks if you can spot it good luck I believe that's mr. Cheek's the the jump the j-k-k I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tr tr tr tr tr tr tr tr true c. true c. true c. true c. true c. true c. true c. true c. true c. true c. truee. the the the the the the the the the the there, just busted it on the mic, and that's called the Jump-Off. Talking of Cheeks, Carl, have we got another installment of Cheaky Freak of the Week this week? Have we? Excellent, look forward to there.

Is there some monkey news? It goes without saying? Of course. Really, really? That's the. Yeah. It's like the songs of praise on the song. When I came back I've been on holiday for a week and I sort of set him by the pool and stuff and I sort of wrote about 40 minutes stand-up with the new show and I was going to go to the car and I said it's great when you get away it's sort of like you're relaxing you just you just think clearly I know I know I know I he said I was he I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was the I was th I was the I was th I was the I was the I was the I was th I was th I was the I was the I was the I was the I was the I was the I was the I was the I was the I was the I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was the I was the I was the I was th I was th I was th I was th I was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th th the the the the the the the theusters. Yeah, indeed. I was buzzing about writing 40 minutes

of brand new stand-up. He equated that to coming up with rockbusters. Should I be insulted Steve or is rockbusters as good as everyone's saying it is? Is it the one good idea? Is it like EMS, E equals MC squared? Rockbusters is to Carl? What if I do this, Rick, what if we, if I played you some rock busters? Yeah, you can't, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, th. Is, th. Is, th. Is, the th. Is, th. Is it, the, th. He's, the, the, the, to, the, to, the, to, to, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to... Yeah, to. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they.. Yeah, they...... Yeah, too... Yeah, too... Yeah, too. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, Carl. What if I do this, Rick, what if we, if I played you some adverts right now? Yeah, we talk about it with some rockbusters. You can make the gesture yourself. Maybe I'll do rockbusters and show people how easy it is to do it wrong. Adverts then rockbustas. And a couple lovely coffee in I just say happy birthday from all of us to Sean her friend Terry said place and placebo for Shan's happy birthday with that's done that's done cross that off the list yeah that's another thing we've got through today rockbusters please do you want to um look at the prizes I'll have look at the prizes I'll look at the email only competition please remember that all all the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to th I the the the th I th I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I thro. thrown. thrown. the. the. I thrown. the. thr thrown. the. the. I I thrown. the. the. the. th, please remember that. All right, we've got the Latour with Jewels Holland Louder DVD. There's stuff on there from the Cardigans, Rollins is

on there, Mercury Rev, Sonic Youth, the Datsons, Queen's the Stone Age. Hold on their to, wait a minute, they're all great bands, but I think they need a boogie, wogue, p-woghue, their, their, their, their, th, their, th, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is, is, and, is, and, and, is. There, is. There, is. There, is. There, is. There, is. There, is. There, is. There, is. There, is. There, is. There, there. There, is. There, there. There, there. There, there, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, is. There, there. There, is. There, there. There, is. There, there. There, there. There, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is. There. There. There. There, and, and, there. There, and, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there. There, there, there. There, there, the, the. There, there, the. Yeah, current album from Goldfra, that's there as well. What have we got this on DVD, The Life of Mammals, the complete series of that? A couple of, we've got the Inspiral Carpets, again, a three CD set of the best of the Inspiral Carpets. I don't know how they strung. A three CD set. The best are in... Well, I'm struggling. I'm assuming CD3 is just the Corals album. Anyway, there's some good things. You've sorted some good stuff this week. All right. Here's your rockbusters, yeah, right.

A cryptic cloof, a couple of initials and and you sort that out right first one doctor fox on about that we don't we don't sound like proper presenters is that it's mad go on Carl right the first one a customer wanted some paint to darken up a room the shop assistant you know what to do the shop assistant to darken up a room the shop assistant you want to do the initials there cb the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tho. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. tho. tho. tho. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the. the the the the the the the the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the. the the tho. so so so so. the the the the. so paint to darken up a room, the shop assistant knew what to do. The initials there, C.B. Right? CB? For the first one there, right? Second one, it'd be all right if their heads weren't that big. Right? And again? It would be alright if their heads weren't that big. And that's SF. And the last one. I know that. Yeah. And the the the the initial the initial the initial the initial the initial. the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial. It, the initial, the initial, it, it, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, it, the initial, the initial, it, the initial, the initial, it, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, the initial, it, the initial, it, it, the initial. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it would the initial. It would the initial. It would the initial, it would the initial, it would the initial, it would the initial, it would would the initial, it would would the initial. the initial. It would would the initial. It would the initial. It would the initial. It would be alright if their heads weren't that big and that's SF. SF.

And the last one... I know that. I know that one. Yeah, go on. And the last one. Chanel I've got another perfume out, N-O. Right? Chanel I've got another perfume out, N-O.

You email in, Ricky, dotcha-a-a-a-a-k. at XFM.C. at UK. That's not done. And those prizes can be yours. More music, please. A bit of Bob Marley. Any of these do annoy me? Oh, I've got to stare it up. Brilliant. Or any of these clues are to annoy me this week? No, they're all good.

Are they really? Yeah. All right. UK. Right. Stare it up. Bob Marley on XFM 104. 0.9, Ricky Givay, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkin. Wait, did you get up today and just see the great weather and think, do you know what I'd love to hear some stir it up from Bob Marley? Yeah, I did actually. Well I was going to play it last, well, the week before I went away and we didn't, we didn't, we didn't, we didn't have we didn't have we didn't have we didn't have the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have the to have to have the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have their their their their the the the week? Do you want one? Yeah.

Let's, I think we should have a jingle for this. Okay, I've got, I've got a jingle. It's very similar to chimpanzee. Chimpanzee, yeah, well let's hear it, let's hear it. Okay. Oh, cheeky freak of the week. Brilliant. Brilliant. Yeah, I think that's excellent. So, just the freak of the week, you've spotted the freak... This is where, this is, where somewhat, I think, offensively, you pick on someone who's

not like other people and say it's your favorite freak of that week. I remember we had the woman whose legs, looked like the hind legs of a dog. We've had the little fella with the aging disease with the little ed playing the piano. That was your favourite. I think that's probably freak of the year isn't it? It's a pretty good one. So what's this? Is it a man with a horrendous injury or is it a congenital birth defect or what? Yeah but you put it like that and now it sounds like I'm being out of order but I'm just givingto be an out of order, but I'm just giving them a mention. Just giving him a big shout out. Right?

Yeah. There's quite a lot going on in the freak world. There's always is. What was it? What was it? You've been visiting hospitals the last week, have you? No, there was a thing. This is a free freak. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that. that, th. th. th. th. that, that, that, th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. Just, th. A, thi. Just, thi. A, thi. A, thi. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. This isn't even the one that I've picked so. So this is just a bonus. This is a bonus prate. Yeah, go on in. This is a free freak. It's a fella called the Lobster Man. The Lobster Man, of course. Again, good name, you know what you're going to get? Yeah.

What are you going to get? Some succulent meat. I like the idea that the vicar on the christening suggested that. I know what he called him Mark. Can I make a suggestion? Look at his name. Mark Michael Webster. Right, um, right. Yeah, have you thought about a nickname? Not really, no. Have you looked at his hands? Yeah, we don't want to talk about that because... Do they look a little bit like lobsters? Well yeah, but it's quite deformed. It's like, you know, we can't... Can I suggest lobster man? That's terrible vicar. That is terrible vicar.

Pitchie. Go on then. We're going to go see. This is what the sort of feature you come up with, the lobster man. There's probably people listening now with you know lobster feet lobster hands so um squid boy so lobster man what does what does lobster men do do do you fight crime not that much apparently he got into a bit of trouble he was in a restaurant and this was years ago by the way and someone picked him to eat him no apparently the waiter said oh you shouldn't

be sat here you should be in me up my pan something oh dear and it they had a fight got out of hand yeah yeah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th yeah th the th the th th the th the th th the the th the the the the the th so the the th the the the the th th so th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th so th so the th so th so the th so th so the th so th so th so the th th the th th th th th th th th th the the the the the thumb the the thumb thumb thumb thumb thumb thumb thumb thumb the thumb the the the the the the the the the waiter said oh you shouldn't be sat here, you should be in me up, my pan or something. Oh dear. And they had a fight, got out of hand. Yeah, got out of claw. And yeah, yeah, so that was... What would he do? A waiter took the mickey out of someone with... No.

Can I just make clear, I'm assuming it's his hands look a bit like those of a lobster. Yeah, well that is fused, so it's just like two big fingers. They're fused I assume probably in the womb and they're just like, instead of like, on the five digits, they're fused and fused and it. But you can pick up, can't he, well he can't pick up, he' the waiter. He's mainly he's he's he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he. He. He. the the the the the, he. the, he. the, he. He. He. He. He. He. He, he. He, he, he, he. He. He, he, he, he. He. He, he, he, he. He. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he, he. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. He's, he's, he's the flight with the waiter, he snipped off his nose. He just held on to the waiter's bib, and the way he was screaming, go and get him off me. Does he eat other lobsters? Does he think he would eat lobster? Or is it kind of... Would he feel bad about eating lobster? Right. The little cheeky freak of the week. We've gone for, um, this Siamese lad, okay. Right. Happened back back in the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the the the the the the the the the the the the thea, he was th. He was th. He was th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He he th. He th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was threathea, he was threathea, he was threathea, threathea, threathea, he was threathea, he was threathea, he was threathea, he was the week. We've gone for this Siamese lad. Okay. Right. Happened back in...

You can't have a Siamese lad, can you? All right, yeah. This Siamese twins, happened back in 1693. Oh he's got a date, blindness, Christ I never. Yeah. And all it was, he was doing all right for himself. He used to go on the like those circus things he used to do. There are two people you're talking about Carl. So we're going to him? All right then. They they did this circus show right? and everything's going well you know they're selling out the tents and stuff people coming to see them. Yeah. He was doing all right for himself. Yeah. Right? Before I said that, did you think the Simey's twin was a man with two heads?

Well it can be, can it? It depends. There is a two people. They're conjoined. No, no, no, but it depends, isn't it? The one that I shown you in that book that time was a fellow with two heads. No it wasn't. That was a stupid picture in one of your stupid books that he had a growth that looked a little bit like it had a face on it. It wasn't a man with two heads. You're the same sort of people who send potato chips to Westerance and say, doesn't it look like Norman Cook? It's not two heads. Well been this feature. No. It's just... They're two people. Conjoin twins. Right. So these they's they's they's they's they's they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their growth. It's. It's. It's their growth. It's their growth. It's their growth. It's their growth. It's their growth growth growth growth. It's their growth growth. It's their growth. It's their growth. It's their growth. It's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's th. th. th. th. thooooooooooooooo. It's. this feature. No! No, it's just... They're two people.

They're two people. Conjoin Twins. Right, so these... It's just happened to have a similar tasting clothes. Okay. Anyway, so they were doing all right, That's it. What? How is that? How is that cheeky freak of the week? Just because he'd got my interest and I kind of thought why didn't he just look both ways.

I'm intrigued to know how you, how you, how you both ways? I'm intrigued to know how you get run over and what was it 1629? Yeah. Well it's awesome isn't that on it. Oh, why wasn't he looking both ways? Carl, Carl Pilkington, you are a genius. Play a record. You fool. Well done, Carl. More chickie-frike in the week ne. So what's going on? I'm happy in the free world.

Univosely speaking, red or chili peppers and XFM, 104.9. So, uh, got a lot of rockbusters coming in. Yeah, all right, actually. People actually seem at long last to have tuned into your wavelength, Carl. Which is of course 104.9? Yeah. Should we give the clues again briefly? We just had an email actually. Actually, to be honest with you, let's not, because we've already had a load of answers. So, you know, you didn't get it first time around, you don't

deserve to win. We had an email saying, because I don't deserve it to try and he's, um, am I squeezing Carl's havre, but I've already already already already already already already already, I've already, I've to to to to to to to they, to be a they, to be they, to be, to be, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Let's tho, let's tho, let's thrue. Let's thrue. Let's thrue. thrue. thrown. Let's, let's th I'd say keep still whatever happens and he's you're right right now. Could I ever squeeze, you know, just to why you're not really capable of? Is it allowed to squeeze it, isn't he? Is it? I've never squeezed it once. Remember, sideways, temples go quite hard but not to. Yeah, I'm taken it. to me.

. Front to. Well I'll just over try now. Have a guy. No, no, you've got a bucket. He sorted it out. He says every Saturday. Yeah, I'm taking it from him because it's not taken it. No, no, let me have one squeeze. Have a go. Have a go, then. So, the front and the back. Yeah, no, get round.

Get round. Get around. He got the end of it. Oh God, it's good fun. I see you like it. I like on studio side. It's great fun. It's great and you know, he's a little bit of, you know, grip there with the short hair, but obviously not too much, it's not much up there on top. Good, isn't it? Yeah, I'd be doing that again next week. Do you know, I'm like on the staff, on one other staff, got some internal mail the other day that you have to fill out about if you die at work who gets your money. He said, do you put yourself at any danger to them?

What did you say? What did you say? Well I asked Susan, I said, does that, you know? My leg lock round your ribs that time and I had it. It was like a little alligator like a python and alligator didn't I? You get quite some, you know, you get a little bit of, oh I leave, you can crush a man's ribs with you with mighty legs. Oh something I went to ask you Carl.

There's something like, guess who's coming to dinner? Does that... Oh, I did the non-broadcast pilot for that because my mate was the, well you know, the Phil Volker was choosing it. And I did it, you know, and the premise of it is that it's it's one of those things about, you know, a to know what Carl's also dinner party who would pop round any of your cheeky freaks so what's this I'm putting on a you're putting on an imaginary dinner party Ann Robinson's there she's got to be there I said I didn't invite you she said well I'm there anyway so it was actually me and Robinson and six people yeah and I chose people like heroes like Muhammad Ali, Homer Simpson or stuff like that you know James Randy yeah so you could use it anyone living

or their fictional or otherwise would it would it would it would it look like a circus from the the 18th century I'd have a I'll have like a few freaks in there like what what who would you have well the first person I'd have probably probably have Elvis. I had Elvis. I chose Elvis. Why would you have Elvis? It's just good, what would he have what he did? But once you'd said that to him, what would the rest of the concert? I'd say sing as a song? Right, so you make him sing a song?

Yeah, he'd be like the entertainment for the night. When he's not on the the the the the the he's not on he's not on he's not on he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he. He's not he. He's not he. He's not he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he. He's he. He's he. I probably have the elephant man there. Right? So John Merrick, yeah? Yeah, John Merrick. Okay, I've got Elvis, John Merrick. If anyone's out there and you know, you don't have anything to do, can you write down everything Carl says from now to a year and send it to me and Steve because you might want to put it in a book? Yes. Would that be that, would that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho would that be good? Just maybe someone keep a journal of everything Carl does and says and we've try and keep a scrapbook of pictures. Tell you I would have. Who? Peter K?

Who? Who? Who? He'd be brilliant. He'd be brilliant. I'd be sat next to him because he's. Well, you're friends with Ricky or one of his characters he does? Just as he is. He's a funny man. Yeah. I love him. Um, what else? Probably, uh, that fella who lost his arm when he was climbing that mountain.

Remember? He had to cut off a few weeks ago. Why would you have him? I'd just like to have a chat with him and say, you know, what happened there then? Well we know what happened there, he cut his arm off. What would say? Did it hurt? Yes it hurt? But I don't think it would hurt, that's one of the questions. What are you talking about? I reckon the shock canceled any pain out. If you're stuck there with a boulder on your arm, right? their their th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thu. thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, thirty, well, well, well, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what thu. Well, what thu. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Well, well. Well, well, well. Well, we, we, we, we, we, we'er. Well, we're th. Well, we're th. Well, we're th. Well, we're thr? Well, we're thr? Well, we're thr. What, we're thr. thr. thr. thr. that's, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're that's, we're tote. there before you said well I've got to cut this off did you read about it it was amazing what do the other people would be doing when you were talking

about cutting his own arm John Merrick wouldn't mind Albit Alvis would probably off his head on some up elephant I hope Peter K didn't make a funny comment yeah yeah right can I just put a quick one I just put bloke with with with with I I I I I I I I I I will I the elephant I the elephant I the elephant I the elephant I the elephant I the elephant I the elephant I the elephant I the elephant I the elephant I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll th I'll just th I'll just just th. th. th. th. th. th. I'll just just just just just th. I'll just just the the the th. I'll just just the the th. I hope he doesn't make a funny comment. Can I just put bloke with one arm? Be careful Carl, what you serve for dinner. Yeah. Because he's only got the one arm. So, you know, certain things.

I mean, maybe suggest something you can eat with chopsticks. Or a hamburger. A hamburger. But don't go with something like lobster. Tricky, you need both hands with that. And there, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. I's he he. I's he. I's th. I's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho. He. He's tho. He's thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I too. for that. And there's him and John Merrick teamed up. I think they've got one good arm each. Yeah. Soup maybe. Uh, what would you give John Merrick buns? Couple of, yeah, couple of buns. Um, um, have that? Pretty boring guests really. Hey? But boring? What do you mean? What was she going to say? What she was going, well I didn't

see a lot? I was in a cabin, really? There's a lot of water. A lot of water. I was a bit scared. The main thing I'd want to ask her, right? Because I remember when she did it, and there was an interview with her, her parents were there or something and a man was saying now she's dead proud because she decided to go around the world in a boat as a kid instead of just hanging around on street corners and stuff. She was a responsible mother. And she said she didn't want a daughter to like be messing about on the streets that night on her own and stuff. She was a responsible mother. Yeah, she sent her off on a boat. In the middle of the Atlantic.

On her own. So I'd like to ask her about her. I think even Manchester safer than that, isn't it? And I'd have probably another woman, so to chat to her to have have the woman who sailed around the world, right, but you'd have to have another woman for her to have someone to talk to. Well, why invite either of them then? If you don't want to talk to either of them yourself. What, sorry, I love this. Round the World Yotswoman, Round World Yotsam, and Kim Marsh? But why of all the women you can invite? I lovedash, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have to have to have to have to have to have to have, to have, to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have, to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have tho, tho, the wo, the wo, the wo, the woome, the woome, the woome, to have the woome, to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to of all the women you can invite, King Mara's at the top of the list. No, that's the best list I've ever heard. Alvis, John Merrick, Peter Kaye, a bloke with one arm, the round the world yachtswoman

chatting to Kim Marsh. That is genius. Why haven't they invited you on this show? I'm going to call Anne Robinson. Okay, if anyone's listening, if anyone's. of Carl Pilkington. I know no one knows of he is yet, but what a great bit of conversation. Play a record, Carl, you're an idiot. That's on Smith. Oh, always a treat. Yeah, we played something from Morris's selection. Something that would be on my ultimate compilation is something from the Smith's.

And it'll probably be this one, I started something. And it'll probably be this one people's favourite but I don't like the wacky ones. It's the novelty ones. It's got some great one. I think he's got some of his best tunes on there but I don't know the fact he's their song. Yeah he's always got this this tendency to sort of music hall style. Yeah but that's that's a great's a great great great great great great great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great great's a great's a great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great one great one great one great one great one great one great one one one great one great one great one great one one one one one one one one that's a great one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one that's a great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great that's a great that's a great that's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great's a great that's a great that's a great that's a great one that's a great one that's a great one that's a great one that's a great one that's a great one that's a great one that's a great one that's a great one, woman who sailed around the world, Kim Marsh. What I like about those numbers, numbers four and five, he doesn't even know their names. Yeah. I'm hoping you'll just write on the invitation that deal with one arm. Having a dinner party.

Yeah. It's better than most people, I imagine most people when they do as if they go Nelson Mandela. I know of course, yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thathe. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. thi. I'm thi. thee. thoo. th. thoooo. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th..... I know of course yeah. I think I read an interview with Mick Hucknall where it was something like who do you admire Nelson Mandela? Brilliant. I was really I don't read papers wrong in this country when I was a the only people I'm in this country I read when I was an article in there about Becker meeting him and the article was about how many people have him and I was thinne the thrown I was thin' thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. I was thin' th. I was th. I was thr-I was thr-I was thr-I was th. I was th. I was tho thr-I was thr-I the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only th. th thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I thr-I'm thr-I'm thr-I'm thr-I'm thr-I'm thr-I'm thr-I'm thr-I'm thr-I'm thr of the stage when you can get a caprice look alike to wander around. They go, is that a look alike? No, that's really him.

Yeah, 40 quid, they come to your party. I think what it is is that he was locked up for so long. Yeah, he's now, he's not just part of home. It's so short. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's. It's like, like, like, like, like, that, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, it's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it. It's like, it's like, that. It's like, that. It's like, that. It's like, that. It's like, that. It's like, that. It's like, that. It's like, that. It's likethink it is if you if you stay indoors for a long time, yeah, you've got to go out of the world. You've got a bit stere crazy I suppose. But yes, mate, he's met some of the great names in world, obviously he's met the Spicekulls. Alan Titchmarsh. They've met him, yeah, they're the only three people who've never met that's this is like... Even if we get invited, one of the other people who've never met that's a Mandela. I'm not meeting him until I make sure he's definitely going straight.

I mean, I don't really... I don't like to hang out with big food down time. No, I wouldn't invite him to my old mcdainty in case, you know the silverware went missing. Oh! Well, you don't know he was inside for a long thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thu. thu. thu. thu. I'm thu. I' thu. I'm he's he's he's hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' thu. Yeah, I thu. Yeah, I thu. Yeah, I thu. Yeah, I thu. Yeah, I thu. Yeah, I thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the the the the the the the thea' thea' the thea' thea' thea' thea' the the the's usually Carl that comes out with those sort of things. Carl, what do you think of that? What, a nails from that haven't even around because he's Nickin? Well, let's back out now, let's back out now while we're ahead. Be good in Celebrity Big Brother. Yeah. Yeah. I used to be couldn't finish. Yeah. Let's play another record or should we talk about some of it? On a lighter note, Muffy the Hamster had a narrow escape with a... Oh, God. Martina Topley Bird, need one. All right? XFM 104. Well, it's that time. It's getting exciting. We've got rockbuster's

results, but before that, a little bit of monkey news with, oh, chimpanzee, that monkey news. Carl Pilkerton. Brilliant. I've read that for a couple weeks. Go on then. All right, so, uh, is that this little monkey? I think. Uh, he lives in Morocco. Right, I'll just warn you now, you're on thin ice from last time, okay? So make sure, is this real? It's been about it. Don't say that you would think about it, as you're saying it, think to yourself, is that true? Do the monkeys do that? Do they think like that? So, call on then.

So anyway, yeah, so there's there's this there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's this magician, this magician, there's this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, this magician, the mian, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the magician, the magician, the magician, this magician, Morocco, right? Got a little monkey working with him, right? The way it used to work, magician used to do his thing on stage, do a little bit of magic, people loved it. Then the monkey came out, had a little cap, walked around the crowd and stuff, got the money, had a good little team thing going on that. So anyway, the monkey's name was 86. Right? Because

back then there was so many monkeys it was like oh what names do you use? What do you so they just named them right? So this little monkey. He had 86 other monkeys the monkeys? No no no it's just like because a lot of monkeys were sort of working back then helping magicians out you you know do in bits and pieces busking what what have you? Well, Rick, you know how there's so many... But why would there be a confusion with that? If he only had one monkey, where's the confusion? People would go, I'm not going to go and see that, I want to see that, I want to see, the the to'e'e' they. Do you know, what thrown, thr-I, thr-I, thr-I, thr-I, thr-I, thr-I, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, thr, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, they. they. tho, tho, ight? I don't know. It wasn't a billing was it with a monkey.

But Rick, it's just the same with humans. You know, there's so many humans now that we can't give them names anymore. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, yeah, there's so many humans, you know, with five billion people. We can't give the money. Anyway, the magician sort of, you know, thinking about moving on. Because in Morocco he'd sort of done all the tourist traps. So he had a word with the monkey, so how about we...

See? No, let him continue. He let him continue. He did never work with the monkey. Let him continue. So what do you think about going over to Spain? Yes. Sure. So the monkey was in agreement? So he said, oh go on then, right? So they'd get in the car and like the magician knew he'd have a bit of a problem on his hands because you're not meant to take monkeys out the country. So he thought, right? What I'll do? What I'll the monkey? the monkey? the monkey? the monkey? He's........................................................................................... So, the. So, the. So, the......................................................................................................................................................... the.... the...... the....... right, what I'll do, I'll get a car, right? Right. Stick the monkey in a boot, right? Get on the boat and hopefully sort of, you know, stick it in some luggage and what have you. We'll be over there, we'll be earning big money, everything's going to be great, so the monkey's like brilliant. So they're getting the car, they're on the way to the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, the boat, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, their, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the, right, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, right, their. their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, their. their, get, get, get, their, their, their, their, their, their, the boat and pull over at a petrol station and just before filling up he opens up the boot and he goes, alright and then it's like, yeah, it's round. So he leaves the boot open so he can breathe and get a bit of fresh air whilst it's filling

up. It goes in to pay the money. He goes, I'm just paying for the... Right, this monkey is not going to drive away in that car or we're never doing this feature again. Carl what happens? What's number 86 up to? So, uh... That's the engine isn't it? That's the story. Come on, let... It better not be. Brilliant. You're going to love it. Right, so he's in the petrol station and he's going, right, I'll pay for pump four. And if else is that a monkey a a a a that a monkey a monkey a monkey a monkey a monkey a monkey a monkey th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What th. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what's th. What's th. What's, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what's th. What. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what th. What. What. What, what, what, what, what??. What. What, what, what, what, what? What? What? What, what, what? What, what? What, what? What, what? What, what? What, the the the th. What, what's the the the th. What's the the the the th. What's, what's, what's, what and the fella says what you're talking about pump four? No, sometimes I use numbers for monkeys sometimes I use, no I mean pump four. Sure. So he says what you're talking about there's no car at pump four.

Right. Keep going. Sticks his head out of the door. The monkey's giving it some, uh, when it was obvious. I don't know what to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their the m. I'm thi. I'm thi, thi, the monkey. No, the mo. No, the mo. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I the the the the th the the the th th th th th thi. No, I thi. No, I thi. No, I'm thi. No, I'm thi. No, I'm thi. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm thi. No, no, no, I'm thi. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a couple of the facts right here. What do you mean couple of the facts? Right, there are no facts. So, number 86, it drove, he drove to Spain. You are, honestly, Carl, you must know.

It was an automatic. Right. How did he, how did he, how did he, how did he, that is shit? There is no way a monkey... That's the thing with his Fitchinot. He gets blocked at customs. It's mental. How would he get through customs, Carl? He doesn't have a passport.

So he parked and then snuck through. Do you want the facts? Let me see it. All right, I'll examine this, then we'll play a record. Play a record because that's nearly as bad as the armed robbery. Right, go on. Play record. A better Swade? Yeah, stay together.

My favourite. One of the 86's favourites. Yeah, brilliant. My favorite swade track. Stay together. XFM. Well, nearly time to go. But, uh, before we do, a little bit of rockbuster results. Just checking some of the answers, Rick, and it seems that an awful lot of people

have got it right. Go on then, tell us them again, then, remind us of them before you give us the answers. All right, Rockbusters number one was like this. It was a custom. We stop him by the news by the way until th, until, until, until, until, until, until, until, until, until, until, until, until, until, until, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the the the the the the the answer, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just. the answer. the answer. the answer. the answer. the answer. the answer. the answer. the answer. the answer. the the the answer. thi. the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they. they. they. the the they. the the they. they. they. Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, start getting some credible ones because it because that's ridiculous it's not true. It seems mad. But no but it's it's for the internet again so anyone anyone can go online download that story it's interstantial it's it's get ones get ones from journals or where the source is quoted okay or we're not interested or we're not well I do. That's not good. Okay. So, same with so, on thin ice. We've pulled this once, we've pulled rock, we suspended it once and you came back again.

So, do you know what I mean? So, go on then. Right, so Rockbusters, uh, Rockbusters number one was about a customer who wanted some paint, wanted to darken up a room, the shop assistant knew what to do. What did she do? The initials were CB, sell her black, seller black, right? Seller black, sell her black. You see, I thought Silla black, because it's not Siller, it's not Sell her black. It's not Cryptic though, isn't it? No, no, cryptic doesn't mean it's wrong. Uh, they all got it, they all got it anyway, so. It's a bit weird, isn't it? Second one. It would be all right if the reds weren't that big. Right? The initials are S-F. Well, one of my favorite bands, yeah. Yeah, the smaller faces.

Yeah, small faces. Well, no, that doesn't make sense. Okay, go on in. And the final one, Chanel, I've got another perfume out. I'll just say we've had an email for one of our listeners who said, if this turns out to be new order, he's never listening to XFM again. What's the clue again? Chanel, I've got another perfume out. New odor. Right, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's tha' thoomereen, thoomereen, thi o' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, thi? Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's What's the clue again? Chanel. I've got another perfume out. New Oda. Right, well that's another listener, God. What do you mean? There's not a group called

new odour. No, it's cryptic. It's not, that doesn't mean cryptic! Wrong doesn't mean cryptic! It's like saying what animal are thinking of? Frog? It, it, it doesn't mean cryptic. It doesn't mean cryptic. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that doesn't mean cryptic! Wrong doesn't mean cryptic! It's like saying what animal I'm thinking of, frog. It, it, that doesn't mean cryptic. Sell her black. What artist is that? Small faces works, just about. If I say what animal I'm thinking of? Won't I'm thinking? Well there you go then, so it does work. Play a record. Play record. So who's a winner? Ah yes, now I'm going to give it to somebody who emailed him with the correct answer. And his name is Steve Martin. I'm giving it, I don't know if you've noticed over the last few weeks, I've been given the prize

to people with just a cookie element to them, you know, if they got a releasing name in, like Barry Bumfroyd. Well, don't worry, because I can spot if it's a fake comedy name. What was that last one? We laughed at that. I can't make it. It was Gerald Sout. It was it was, it was like Gerald Smether as to some of that. What's it? What's it? Uh, Preston? their. Why is that a funny name? Jerry. Jerry? Jerry. Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? Jerry. Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? Jerry? It. Jerry? It's. Jerry? It's. Jerry? It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a th. It's a th. It's a that. It's a that. It's a that. It's a the. It's a that. It's a that. It's a that. It's a the that. It's a that. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a the. It's a the the the the the the the the the th. It's a the the the the the the th. It's a the the the that. It's a the the the the the the th. It's a that. He caught me attention. So this week Steve Martin's caught my attention. Right. Yeah. When was the last time Steve Martin made you laugh? This Steve Parton? Or? Dick has been... Yeah, we've had no correspondence from Dickie Anderson for some time, which it saddens me. Little Dick Moyster General, what is he doing out there? What, he's got like he's got something better to do? Ridiculous. Well, that's the end, we've got the last song, so is anything you want to say?

It's the end of Rockbusters and it's the end of Monkey News. Monkey News will give one more go for and it's got to be credible, it's got to be real, it's got to be true. We need to to see to see to see to see to see to see to see. We need to see. We need to see. We need to see. We need to see. We need to see. We need to see. We need to see. We need to to see. We need to to see. We need to to see. Yeah. We need to to see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We' to to see. Yeah. Yeah. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. too. New Oda. Just anything. Just brilliant. I've done to Steve. You got them all. So is that like them? Yeah. Brilliant. Well, I've enjoyed that. I hope your back's better, Rick. And Carl, I hope you buck up your ideas. Your brain's better. Yeah. That's something interesting about a brain. We'll talk about it next week. No, tell it now.

No, I'll tell you what is it? No, we'll leave it. Oh, like that's a hook. Like people will be going for a week. Oh, I want things were Carl's brain? Was it a brain that drove a motorbike-I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to their their to their to their to their their to their to to their to to to to tooomicii.