The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E46 (July 12, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

Okay, let's have a great show everyone. Good luck. Good luck. Right, that was Jane's addiction, just because on XFM, 1.104.9. Right, everybody up, let's give him a great show, yeah, two hours of like fun, chat. Let's keep it, you know, let's keep it cutting age. That's not really, I mean, that's what the listeners of X FM would. Oh, no, it isn't is it? No, because, oh, no. thr. Oh, the the the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. th. th. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. we where we bleeped it out. We were a little scared. She was quite annoying, it's quite controversial. Carl called me last night and we're not allowed to play it out. Oh, because we've been censored. Yeah. Interesting. So it's a cutting edge alternative station. What's pushed a boundary, so I've been a cut and a bit punk rock. Yeah. Because I said something like the radio. I've I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Because I th. I th. Because. Because I was. Because. Because. Because. Because I was. Because. Because I was. Because. Because. Because I was. Because I was. Because. Because, I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I said. I was. I was. It. It. It. It. It. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's been. we're not. we're not. we're not. we're not. we're not. we're not. we're not. It. It's. We're not. We're not.eped it out, what I called him. Yeah. But, uh, couldn't do it before. Couldn't do it. Censured.

Carl, what's your thoughts, Carl? We agree with that? Yeah. Why? What's the point? Well, it was funny, wasn't it? It wasn't offensive. Not really.

It's not some of the best stuff Well, that springs to mind. Yeah. Rockbusters. But I mean, the thing is, you know, the things that you have put out there, I mean, we better be really careful. Who's worried about complaints? I mean, it's not just swearing is it. It's taste and decenis-a. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. Yeah, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. to. th. th. thi. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Can't do stories about elderly relatives with generals looking like a split tennis ball. Can't tell you a bad dad put in a child with learning

difficulties in a bin so what should we just play music? I think that's all is going to have to be yeah. Accident will happen by Elvis Costello on XFM 104. Carls a little bit stressed because it's not his fault it was the boss that overruled him he came along. What did he do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do the th you th you the th you the th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. their bad their bad. I their bad. I their bad. I their bad. I their bad. I their bad. I the bad. I the bad. I the bad. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I th. I the. I the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I it was the boss that overruled him. He came along. What did he do? He heard you listening to it. Yeah. What did he say? He says, what's that?

I said it's what Ricky wants to play out tomorrow. Yeah. And he said, we've got to want it to go out. I mean, you got to remember, right, you came in yesterday to have a chat about what we're going to do. One of the topics that I said, let's talk about, which I came up with, was let's talk about swearing. No, you said you never had a problem with swearing, which is normally. And then we did the thing about, isn't it funny that you can, the heart, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, that, which, which I said, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the's the valve that's offensive and we did a little sketch around that and then ended, you know, and he wanted to completely bliterate the word and the end didn't want to put the thing in the receipt, and we said about the radio authority which I don't think, I think it was valid is if you want to pay the 70 grand fine, then go ahead and there would it?

There wouldn't be a 70 grand fine there, would they? Well, you don't know what it'd be? But will you pay it? Will you pay for my mortgage? Will you pay for his mortgage? Will you feed his mortgage? He wouldn't be fired? What do you mean? then we'd all be fired. Right. Do you seriously think you'd lose the license for that sketch? Does he really seriously think you'd lose the license? It's, it is not the worst thing we've ever put out or done or ever will do. Yeah, but it's the fact that he said don't put it out and you're like, you know, throwing your soys out of the prom. I want to say it, I want to say it, I want to to to to to say it, I want to say it, I want to say it, I want to say it, I want to say it, I want to say it, but, I want to say it, but, but, but, but, I want to say it, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I want to say, but, but, but, but, but, I want the to say, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I want the, I want the, but, but, but, I want to say, I want to say, I want to say, I want to say, I, I, I want to, I, I want to, I want the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the the, discussion about the radio authority and the way people are interested.

Don't get annoyed. Yeah, but I'm annoyed because you've been at it since about half past 12. I know, I like to get in early to plan the show. Yeah, but there's been no planning. So to be honest, I'd turn off today anyone listening because there's nothing. Car there's never anything. Yeah, sometimes some good things, but today, seriously, I'd leave it. It was something half decent that's been on this show. Now's a little interesting topic that.

Go on, I can't remember any. Right, I can't remember any. Right, no, no. Not particularly. She's fascinating, the toy-s. to you up to your boss or say anything don't get annoying that stand up to all if they agree with what I'm arguing about but I'm not falling out with him over some crappy thing you want to play out they don't say crappy don't say crappy

don't say crappy I can missing don't say crap don't say crap don't say a the word crap. That's out of order we should beat that. Big Sir. The Thrills on XFM. 104.9. Started off another nice atmosphere again in the studio. Don't blame me. It's not my fault. No, I know. I know. Well, it's your fault mainly.

Yeah. You are bad. You are. Don't try and win him around just because he's scared, yeah. Whack! I don't know, is that against? It's me, I am. It's you.

Yeah, it's you. Blah! Right. Well, I'm not a coward. No. I'm just thin'a'er. for us. What you mean we're effortlessly entertaining or there's no listeners? Well yeah somewhere in between. Yeah Carl what's happened this week mate? Now's happened. Come on. I came in I came in and it had an hour lunch

break you know he's certainly never get to break I came in one day it was out for and I sat a little chat with Andrew Phillips about you know where we were going with the show and you know where are we going with it you've got. You can't believe anything? Ah dear. It's how far we can run it into the grave. Yeah no if we go off there it certainly won't be through being cutting edge or controversial because people just turned off because it's too boring to listen to. Brack. But it was out for an hour. Having a lunch break for an hour.

I always said he's too busy. I know, yeah. It's interesting. So, uh... Actually on the subject of that, I noticed Dan here is emailed in, and he says, I was listening to last week's to the show and I think play on a CD player and stop. Carl, what do you think that? And it can come in next week, seriously. It says he... Don't get ratty, Carl. I'm not being ratty.

Dan, email me. You know me address, email. It'll be sorted out, you can be here next week. Dan suggested we could call it Carl, thrown, perhaps bone idle. the bone idle. Bone Idol. Brilliant. Yeah. Have you got a monkey news, Kyle? Don't know, it's going to be bothered. Play record. Play a record.

Pretenders. And. Kid. Oh, dear. Hi. I'm a 5. That's professionalism, isn't it? Yeah, that is unbelievable. Ricky, you were, I mean, I don't know if I can describe it really the scene.. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, don't, don't, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. Don't, th. Don't, th. Don't, th. Don't, th. Don't, th. Don't, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. isn't it? Yeah, that is unbelievable.

Ricky, I mean I don't know if I can describe it really, the scene. You were going mentally, you were shouting, you were really being quite an unpleasant character. Well, it's just, the mic's come on Rick and you're absolutely, you're a trauma. For me, how people get annoyed. Carl said that, uh, we don't have to be here. Carl said that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th the th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I the, I the, I the, I the, I the-I the-I thean, thean, the-I thean, the-I, the-I the-I to entertain him you haven't done anything against the law yet have we or offensive or against the way to throwy Carl I think we'll get away with that yeah yeah so what is there to worry about exactly yeah come on can we just have a big kiss yeah yeah yeah come on no don't do that just Carl what we got what's on the list we've done swearing we've done swearing that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the that's the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th is so so so so so so so so so so are th are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are so are their their their their what we got? What's on the list? We've done swearing, we've done swearing, that's that sorted out. Well no your point was more that you weren't you interested in why swearing people find it offensive? Yeah a little bit of that. Because that's

that seems obvious to me what you're saying yes that you never understood why people find it offensive right? That's right that's right I know I know. But you're. I that I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I that I that I know I that I know I know I that I know I know I that I know I that I that I know I that I know I that I that I know I know I know I know I know I know I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that I that I that I that I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th. th. th. th. thi thi thi tho tho tho tho. tho tho tho tho thoe thoi thi it on the radio because people find it offensive for some reason I don't agree with it but some people do. Yeah I'm saying everyone swears. Bleep it out I would. Blip it out. Bleep it out that's my theory. But you say that everyone swears. Not everyone does swear. I don't know why you've got this in your head that everyone's I'm convinced everyone. I'm everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone. I I I I I I I'm everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone everyone. I'm to everyone. I'm to everyone. I'm to everyone. I'm convinced everyone. I'm convinced everyone. I'm one? What? Everyone? Like you know religious people? The Pope needed? Jesus? I bet Jesus swore. Right, what's the evidence for that? No, I'm just thinking, I mean, things are better now than they were back then, right? He's wondering about in his sandals, getting pebbles stuck in

there and stuff, and that's annoying. Nails in his hand, that must have hurt. That's that's offensive. What I'm saying? That's offensive. That's offensive. That's offensive. That's offensive. That's offensive. That's offensive. That's offensive. That's offensive. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their. their. that's that's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their. What's the No, it's not though. That's blasphemous. Don't laugh at, don't laugh at the crucifixion. Play a record. I'm not, I'm not laughing at that though. That is terrible. I'm just saying. No, you can email in, if you want to complain, Carl. Yeah? Not talks to X-Sem. Cotter. It's a fact. I'm just saying it's a fact. When you stubbed your your tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I're tho. I're tho. I're tho. I're tho. I're th. I're that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that is that is not. I'm not. I'm not that is not that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is a th. It is a th. It's a th. It's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that is a f. It's that is a that is a f. It's that is. It is.ing and jeffin. It's the kind of ancient Hebrew version of effing and jeffing. I'm worried about this. I'm worried about this. This is noy. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. I'm worried about it. When did you start swearing? I started swearing at school. Right. I hope you haven't offended any Christians. Right. There's a lader at my school, right. There's a lad there. There's a laden, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, th. I, th. I, there, I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, this. I. I. I. I, this. I, this. I. I, this. I. I, this. I. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I was, th. I was, th. I'm, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. I'm, th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm this is, I'm, I'm, I, I got caught and I got when you say got caught were how we what was it you were right right right riding the bike is having a swear you got any MF no I've only got one C left it's my dad's oh come on let's have a let's say aunt yeah let's say aunt let me say the aunt no older kids to buy you some swear

just just smoke it down to the car yeah Yeah, so you're right. Yeah, you're right the bike she's having a swear. Yeah. And a teacher is him say, right, the S word. The S word. The S word. The S word. So, uh, the way, the way this teacher dealt with it, he said right. It's not a clever word to use, and he tried to make him get sick of using it by he had to write an essay using that word 300 times, right? Yeah, I would have loved that. But that is like the father catching a kid with a cigar, making a smoke, yeah. Doesn't work with heroin if you've got a young teenagers jacked up for the first time.

It can be dangerous. The funny thing is though, right? His ma'am found his textbook. Of course. Thought he was depressed and wanted to took him counseling. Because everything was S. He was writing down, this is... And did it work?

Did he, did he, did it? he, he disappeared. He got, heteacher, I mean he disappeared, he got kicked out for hitting a kid on the head with a bit of wood. So... It wasn't new, was it? That was it? Oh, it's not. Long view. That's great.

That's great. That's a good tune. Can I just give a big shout out, Rick. to John Kaye, he's listening online in Los Angeles, City of Angels. Brilliant. It's his first time listening to the show. Who knows what he's making of it? I wonder if we should explain what Carl is to him? He's up early. Well he's got up apparently to record it and then he's going to come back to bed. Oh right, so he's listening to any time.

So yeah. Well, he's a little bit of a grumpy, spoil, lazy pratt at the moment. But usually he's quite a funny, nice, sort of genuine guy who's in awe of the world if it's furry and doesn't really care if it isn't. Anyway, we're all one big happy family, you're all. Come on, Carl, attitude up. Happy, happy. If we're happy, the listener is happy. We were talking about schools swearing kids at school. I just remember at school, like the loads of my friends now are becoming teachers. I just I can't imagine what it must be like in an environment with kids.

Because when we were at school, I mean not particularly me but lots of people in the class and you'd all end up doing it would just treat teachers like they were they weren't humans like they were just creatures from another family but were there to be tormented. Yeah it's a game isn't it to see how if I can wind someone up to distraction and most people grow out of that. But is it because not everyone but especially they got a bit cash in their pocket now and a little bit of success they tend to think that that gives them license that's that gives that gives that gives that gives that gives their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to they they can't gice. It's they they can't their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they can can can't is is a they can story, there was a teacher he came in and he was teaching us and one kid, one of the hard nuts, he found out that this guy's, he lived on his own and he had a cat and the cat got run over and so he got in early, like everyone was in early and before the teacher came came in saw it brist into tears and ran out and the thing is that was like the beginning of term so he could never get us back after that there was

never gonna be any respect for him it was just it's just like I just remember thinking I mean at the time I remember thinking it was bad but now it's just heartbreaking it's just heartbreaking it's just heartbreaking I heartbreaking heartbreaking heartbreaking heartbreaking heartbreaking I I they just just just just heartbreaking I they just just just heartbreaking I they's just just just heartbreaking it's just just just just heartbreaking I I I they's just just just just just heartbreaking I know. They just forget they'd let their guard down a little bit. You get a watch or something. Mmm. Just humming. Yeah. And everyone, and he tell us to stop it and then everyone just.

We used to, it was one teacher, me and my mate used to go up to and just one that we saw him just sort of sniffing him slightly and then sort of like, he'd walk away sniffing his armpit. But those kind of mind games, it's like... I know. Well, that's right, I was talking about this in the week actually. We had this teacher and he must have been sort of like, sort of 60 then, right? And we're all about sort of like 12. We had to do French, you had to put your thing on the booth and it was a, I told told I I I I I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I told I the shush the shush the shush the shush the shush told I told I told I the same I told I told I told I was like to to say I was like the same I was like the same I was like the same I was like the same I was like the same I was like the same I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I told I the wall right, and he'd repeat it, and he'd repeat it in French and of course everyone was going F, C, just like just for fun and he heard this and he listened back to all of them

and he realized it goes and he went mental he went I don't believe this do you know how much these costs he was going and he was going red and burst in like car was earlier and it was like, I was like, I don't, I, I, and I, and I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd the, I'd th, I would would would would would th. would would would th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. their their their their you know how much these cost? He was going red and bursting like Carl was earlier. And it was like, I just, I can't stand this anymore. Anyway, he picked up an exercise book. He said, look at this exercise book. Look. And I want to say the kiss name. He went, so-and-so, look, oh look, oh look, he's put smith I'll change his name, Smithers. He went, oh look, he's put Smithers, it's shit. Oh, oh, he goes, oh, he's got clever on this side. He's put

Smithers, it's a lamp of shit, that's good! Right? And he went, he went, oh look, he's drawing a picture of penis with wings and he's written underneath Dickie bird. He went, is that clever? He went, he's, he's, he's, he's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's that, oh, oh, oh, he's that, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's that's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's, he's, he's, oh, he's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's, he's, oh, he's, oh, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He went, do you want me to put a piece of paper up so you can come and write swear words and draw ladies' janitors all day? And I went, like that laugh? He went, I'm glad you think it's funny, Mr. Jabas, and he stormed out. Oh God. And did he ever come back? No, but we put the bit of paper up for him and said, look what we've done you said, that's a funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's funny funny funny funny funny funny, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, I I I I I I I I I that's, I I I I I that's like, I I I I that's like, I that's like, I that's like, I, I, I that's like, I, I, I that's funny, I that's funny, I that's funny, I'm, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm that's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, a fanny, there's some knobs. Was it biology? No it was French. Oh French of course. Oh that's right. I just remember things like games like there was some covers at the back of the, one of the, I think the math class and one kid just got in the, in the cover before the teacher came and then sat in there for like, you know, 45 minutes, and just towar th their in th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. out. Brilliant. Just came out and just went oh and sat down and just just things like that which just kind of it's not I don't know what it is or I don't know

what it is I don't know what it's just a lack of respect. I played a trick like that once in my first year at college it is pathetic right we're on a hall of residence right and there was this woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman woman the the the th w w w w w w w w w w w w. th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a the the. I was a the. I was a theeee. I was a thi. I was a th. I was a th. I was a the. I was a the. I was a the. the twin set and I think she was from a bank where she was doing students can do a bank out and we knew she was coming at the corridor and she was nod right and so my mate got in my wardrobe in this little room right just sat there she came in I said I said I was a everybody I said yeah I said okay can I just do I went sorry she went you not interested I went no But he just fell flat It's not flat Yeah, oh dear, oh dear Carl a little bit happier now. notry. to know what have you done this week? Doesn't bother me now. Carl answer the question to the producer what have you done this week? Yeah. A few things? Oh? It's a few things. It. It. It. It. It, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the th the th the th th th the th th th. th. th, you, you, you, you, you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. he th. he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he he he he he he What have you done this week? Doesn't bother me no. Carl, answer the question to the producer, what have you done this week? A few things.

It's funny right, because when he's moaning about, I caught him out, he says he doesn't get a lunch break, he'd had over an hour. And then he went, I think he went quite early that night to get a hob that hadn't been delivered or something right. And I said James he's always complaining about working does he work hard and he went well he doesn't work as hard as he used to. Hmm, play a record can't we? Interesting. I'm not saying you're lazy. I'm saying maybe some people don't think you work as you do that's the way of the world. I'm not saying you don't work hard. Just reporting speech speech the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start the start to to to to to to to to to the start the start to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to hea. I hea. I hea. I hea. I he. I he. I he. I th. I th. I th. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I's. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the way of the world. I'm not saying you don't work hard. Just reporting speech really, James Hyman, calling him a liar? Play record! Can't be bothered.

Play record, Carl. I reckon we could do this all the way through Billy Bragg. I reckon. I reckon we could do this all tunes, old Billy Bragg. That's one of them. Yeah, waiting for the great leap forward. What station are we on? XFM 104.9. Yeah, with Carl Pilkington. Carl. What do you think of it so far? What, what? You're you're on up for it, right? And now it's turned out great th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th the th. to th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the the great th. th. th. th. th. to to th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great. Yeah, the great. Yeah, the great. Yeah, the the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. the. the. Wait, the. Wait, waiting, waiting, waiting to the. Wait, waiting, waiting for to the. Wait, waiting, waiting, waiting for to that. Wait, waiting for that. Wait, waiting for that. Wait, waiting for that. Yeah, waiting for the. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. Just talking earlier about teachers, weren't they? Have you got any amusing anecdotes about teachers or anything around that subject? I didn't, I didn't go to school that much. Go on. When I did, it was, uh, I was telling Susan about

the other day, oh, you know, she goes out with me now and she thinks I'm you know great she's she's lucky what she's got. No no she's done well. Yeah. But I was a sort of kid who she would have hated at school because I never had like a pen. Oh yeah I know it's not a pencil case or any stuff. I'd start off the like the term I would and I've like you know a brand new carrier bag with me stuff and yeah classy and we got to have somewhere to put the stuff you've nicked from all was in yeah alright so that that be there but then by the time like a couple of weeks down I'd have put my pen down I would have lost it and then then I'm sort of going around saying can I borrow a pen he didn't try sticking up the nose he's not not not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not the the the the the the the the the the the the they no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no It's not, no, no. Well the funny thing with like, you know, you were too about teachers and stuff. Were you disruptive? Were you a disruptive kid? Not really? Not really. No, not really. I was one of them. No, it wouldn't cause trouble.

He's terrified of the boss here, aren't he? No, but come on, let's just not, let's not argue we're getting on well then, come on, Carl. And like the teachers, because I've lived on this estate, right, loads of stuff used to get knicks and go missing and what have you. Blackboards. And their way, no, it's like the te. So the way they used to try and find it, right, my little conspiracy, you know I'm good at them. Yeah, yeah. What they used to do is set your own work and say, right, draw like a bird's eye view of your house. Right? Draw everything you've

got in your house as well. So if you've got, I don't know, if you've got anything in the loft, make sure you draw it. Right. So kids would come in with overhead projectors. Well, that was the idea I think behind the guns. Yeah. Anti-aircraft guns in the shed. So your, the picture you did it for your home, presumably got nothing from me. I didn't do it. I used to hand it in empty house, I'm not a grass. A northern illegal immigrants living in the kitchen. Just a picture of your auntie Nora. Yeah. Is that, have you been stealing tennis balls? No, that's not a split tennis ball?

That's my auntie-nora's. But what about all the stuff? Didn't you have to draw the stuff that your father had Nicked? Didn't you have? Didn't. Didn't. Didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't, didn't the stuff? Didn't, didn't the stuff? Didn't, didn't, didn't, the stuff? Didn't, the stuff? Didn't, the stuff, their, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, th. th. the. th. th. to. th. theanananananananananananananana. theanan't, th doing songs of phrase today because rockbusters has gone. What songs of phrase are going? I can't remember. I tried to think I've blanked it out. Yeah. When we do, uh, something that's been said a few times on the show, right? BAK!

BANG. BANG. BASTER. Go on, sorry, you were speaking, Carl. So we take a phrase from the show, right, and just get songs, like the words from the songs, edit them together. Something like that. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, okay, no, just go on, go on. So are we doing it?

So what's the phrase you've come up with? A phrase is no more cheeky freak of the week. No more more, the thah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, tho, and thi, and tho, and tho, tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, and tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, th, th, and th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thi, tha, tha, that, tha, tha, tha'''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, tha, tha, th you've come up with? A phrase is, is no more cheeky freak of the week. No more. No more cheeky freak of the week? Is there not, are we not having that anymore? Well, no, because it's offensive and if we're worried about offending people, to talk about people with disabilities, like conjoined twins and women who are born with deformed their women.

. He was never... It was never... So, you know, you've got to be careful. You've already insulted Christ. Let's not do disability. Let's do songs of face, shall we? Cheeky Freak of the Week was never out to offend anyone. No. It was to make you realize how lucky. We don't try and to offend people. We're trying to offend people.

to theyrhythe's, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let, let. the, let. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the New Zealand night, you know those Siamese twins that didn't make it through the operation, right? And this is why I'm stopping it because I don't want people to think we're having to go out disabled people and stuff, right? On the news, right? Yes. Before that operation, the doctor said we're going to try and sort this out, all the doctors are going to get their heads together. Is is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is tho, is tho, is thr-in, is thr-in, is thr-in, is thr-in, is thr-in, is thr-in, is thr-in, ththea, ththea, their their, their-up, their-in, their-in, their their their their, right, right, right, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th th thi, th th th thi, th thi. th thi. th thi. thr-in, thr-in, thr-in, thr-in, thr-in, thr-s, thranni. thranni. thranni. thranni. thranni. thranni. thranni. thranni. thranni. their, thr-a. thranni that a good phrase to use? Yeah, yeah. See what I'm saying? Carl, play a record. No, I'm just... Are you offended Rick? Are you... Are you offended Rick? Are you're ready? Yeah, but I'm saying, we're not out to offend anyone, yeah, it's always going on. We're always going to go. Please don't bring it down. Play a record. No, haven't. I hate him. I ate him.

I hate it. Darkness. Growing on me. You love the dineas, don't you? Yeah. I was lucky enough to see him. I like their own as well. People told me it's a bit too joky or a bit too tongue and cheek, but it isn't really, if you don't know that, it sounds great. It just sounds like sort of retro 70s rock. It's great, I think it's brilliant.

It's nice to have rock back, I think you'll agree. Big time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sweet. Sweet, Mick, sweet. Sweet, make, sweet. Songs of phrase. public appraisers. A lot of people have requested some swearing. They have indeed. We have a lot of emails for that, but go on Carl. And remind us again what exactly songs are phrases and why we should care? It's just a phrase that we're took from

the show make up by taking words out of a song, edited it together, right? The phrase that we're doing is no more cheeky freak of the week. No more cheeky free movie. It sounds like this. No more ticking recovery. Right, so... No that's Nile impossible. Play again. Play again. You got emailing with all the songs that you can hear there, right? There's five songs. And we just want the names of the songs? Yeah, that'll do. Okay. All right. Do we just hear it again probably one of the best you've done. It's very tricky though, I mean... That's not too tricky. Play it again. No more chicking we, How many of you got, do you think, Rick? Just...

Well, I've noticed the same person singing twice. Is that right? Is that right? And, uh, and I know one track straight away from the word. Can I just say I do think th th think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's not thi's thi's not thi's not thi. that's not that's thi. thi, track straight away from the word. Can I just say I do think naming the songs is a bit tricky. Let's just name the artists. Is that all right? Just the artists. Just the, just the artists has changed the rules. Before we play it again, just let you know what the prizes are. We've got on DVD later with J DVD with Boogie Piano over the top. Let's hope so. Kisses an air chain are on their stereophonics. We've got Sonic Youth, Ash, Hole, Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, quite good. Once again, Cruz of the Gods on DVD, starring Rob Ryden and Steve Kugin.

That was on it, it's not bad. It's not the same one. They haven't, they haven't they haven't they haven't they haven't they haven't they're haven't you'll be pleased because there's the likes of Mel Cly Cliff Richard and the Hollies on there. Excellent, the best chill out album ever. We've got the Beach Boys on there. Obviously Casello Pink Floyd Coldplay, that's not bad. And this is the one that's the one that's most interesting, there was a particular organization, you could send in songs or lyrics that you'd written at home and they would send it to music and record it for you. And this is a compilation of them. So obviously it's there's some quite idiosyncratic and odd

little things on there. I think it's probably worth of listen. So not bad prizes at KFM.Klethe artist, then Ricky.Juvase at XFM.co.co. tho-K.Riky.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J.J. Do that. No more. Take the recovery. See, we're just great. Yeah, not bad at all. A little bit of elbow.

A little bit of elbow. Elbow, Red, good shing. The old Spanish Archer, alright? Yeah, elbow, sorry you've lost me, I wasn't listening. Elbow. Albo? All right? Sony award winning from Rickard's ways. Well, we're not allowed to do anything.

Andrew likes those sort of things. Rick, I can tell you now that the answers to songs of phrase are quite literally dribbling in. I think there's two, maybe three answers so far. So I'm very excited about that. And we just had an email from Dan. He says, my Mrs. Lynn is pregnant and is eight days overdue. Carl, could you offer any words of encouragement to coax the baby down the birth canal? I've sat in only inches away from the speaker to allow optimum audio transfer to the uterus. What would you say to that child there just to lure it out to the wide world car? I wouldn't rush out.

I wouldn't rush out. It's not good, is it? Out here? I don't really want to talk about kids either because two Zan's mates just had one and now she wants one. Oh God. Please never bring a child into the world car. Promise us that? They just bore me. Have you seen there's loads of people in the office who have got them now and they've

all got baby pictures everywhere and they're all like in it, nice looking. It's like no it's not, they all look the same. Do you know what I mean? All like Mel Smith. Don't they? Yeah. But it's that theory actually, right? Do you know what I've said before about babies, right, but like little old people? Yeah. There was a... No, no, the fact that, you know, you're born and you sort of, you know, you got no teeth, you got a little baldhead, you can't, tholed, tholed, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they, that, that, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooo, thooooo, thooooo, thoooo, their, a little bald head you can't control your bodily functions and that sure then you get to like so

you're describing yourself yeah I was saying that's how you're born yeah then you get to about 70 year old whatever yeah all that starts to happen again right yeah now there was a story in America about just back in a. about just backing this up again th year old fella. 70 year old fella. Okay. Little bald head. Yeah. Probably no teeth. Nah, probably yeah. Nappie and that, right?

Yeah, probably yeah. Go's into a... 70 year old's put, pop the old nap he on on your 70th birthday, take your teeth out. It goes into an off license to get some beer. was old enough. Right. Okay. Right. Okay. Carl's back. Wait a minute. Sorry. So they thought he was a giant baby that walked into the off-place. Forget it. Steve, forget it. Please. I get his car to answer. No, I mean that's a story but it's weird, isn't it? That's what I'm saying. It just backed up. A guy in an off license thought that a giant baby that had wobbled into-licen a 70-year-old wrinkled baby in an overcoat sucking worth as original smoking a pipe gun I can't believe it the

price is not the same as they were right was a small child yeah weird nipleaddle it you're an idiot well what's happening with songs of phrase forget it forget it as I say the answers are dribbling in and... Can we run this radio station for a week? Yeah, but the thing is if we genuinely wanted to do a good job with that, we'd have to fight ourselves straight away. No, do you know what I mean? Just sort of out of the playlist, let DJs, you know what I mean? Sort of what can be said and what can. Just for one week.

Yeah, see if we can, giv bit of, Rah, shall we? I don't know, just the phrase, pissing in the wind if we need it to you. I know, yeah. Well, are we going to even meet this week? Because it's, you know, he's wasted time pre-recording stuff that we can't put out out. I don't know if it's worth. He's still on it. list on the list I said to yesterday let's sit down another chat yeah I thought I thought it was just a piece of crap you can't say crap you should have bleep that I know why you believe that why don't we pre-record the whole show then we only have to come in once what do you think that car car car

Carl car what do you think that car car Steve what we're doing with some I'll car car Play a record, he's driving me mad, Carl. Carl. Carl. Seriously he's driving me mad. Carl. Press the button. Coul.

I'm sick of it. Carl. Carl. Carl. Cah. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Stop on XFM, 1-4.9. I reckon we could run it for a week just to do a few little things. Do you want to bother there on here? No, but I mean just like, you know, have a look at the playing list a little bit. Another phrase polishing a turd.

I mean let's just know what it brings to mind. You know what you're the producer? You know what's going to say that Carl? that, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, is, th, to, to, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is to, is to, is the, is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, is tho, is th Yeah, I think so. That's all right. Well you said it, so you're the producer. Yeah, that's all right. All right? Yeah. I tell you I've got it together, capital. Oh, that's a classy station. I was, I came in in the week to just check Carl out if he was here, he wasn't, he was out for about an hour or so. And I heard in the lift, I don't know what I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was a, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, a the that a that a the the the that a little, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a little, I was a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the together, I was a together, I was a together, I was a together, I was a together, I was like, I was a tog-a, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, that little girl Summer who went missing but then she was just found reading a book and I swear, I swear he went and there's a lovely picture of her there just reading the book so what a happy ending it's a shame they don't all end like that. Oh God and he played a record. What's his point? Unbelievable. What's that? I don't know. It's those people who think that they're being a little, what, a little bit philosophical, and it's their fan. And then just everyone goes, oh. Thanks very much.

Yeah. read that it mentioned her family now it mentioned the father of the house I don't know if it's her father or certainly the guy the parent that the male parent and it was like it was something like I think I don't want to you know libel him but it was something like Paul 24 and he's a graphic designer recently changed his name to dragon I just wonder what what what exactly is that how is he going to family is that really? Yeah yeah. You know I don't want to... I'm always a little bit worried about people who change their name to someone. Just something to really, really cool because you know Kevin Smetherst isn't, you know it's not sexy enough. Exactly. So I call myself Clint Iron. Yeah. What would you call yourself? I mean Carl Pilkton nothing wrong with that. It's a superhero's name. It's Pilkington. When I was about seven I wanted to be called Brett. Yes, yes. Why do you see why? I don't know, I just had a mate who was called

Brett and I thought that sounds good. It's different. Yeah. But then I'm quite happy with my name there. Because Carl I have to say where does that come from, because where where where where where where where where where where where that? that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to that to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be called to be called to be called to be called to be called to be called to be called to be called to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. I told you, I mean I had a dream. I forget this, what, your mother had a dream? She, uh, she wasn't well, she had pneumonia or something, right? And, uh, she had this dream while she was pregnant. That's some doctor, sort of, you know, she was going off to another place, she was going to die or something, and this doctor went, I can I can sort of, I can't, I can't know, I, I, I, I, I, I know, I know, I, I, I, I know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and I, and I, and I'm, and I do do do do do do th. And, and I do th. And, and I, and I do th. And, and I, and I, and I, and I do th. And, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I do, I do, I do, I do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do th. do th. do th. do th. Do, I do th. Do, I'm th. Do, I'm th. Do, I'm, I'm, I'm th. Do, I'm, I'm th. Do, I do th. Do. Do, and I do th. Do, I do th. Do, I'm, I'm th And she remembers on his name badge, she said Carl. Really? So when she had me she said right. Calling Carl. Dr. Pilkington. Calling Dr. Pilkington. She hoped I imagine that you'd grow up to be like him in every way. I've done all right for myself, I think. I'm all right. Yeah.

This is what we were talking about actually, we were? We were talking about the fact that you're quite proud of the fact that you've got no formal education really and yet you've pulled yourself up with the bootstraps? Yeah, well I know people have got results from that and don't do anything. Do you know what I mean? Sure. They're on the street. So I've't know if that's advice. Should we advise that young kids don't take exams? Don't work at school. Just you know move away from Manchester and get a job on XFM. They'll employ anyone. Yeah, you get an hour's lunch break.

You're away by quarter to six. You need no qualifications. You need no qualifications because you don't have to think for yourself, because your boss tells you what to do, you can have some time off to go shopping for Hobbs and shower units. He's all right, he's a good boss. He'll let me have next Saturday off. He knows how tia' all of it. How many Saturdays is he off? He's going away again. He gets 26 holidays, 26 days a year. It's unbelievable. It was how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how how th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was thua. He was thua. He was th. He was th. He was going. thiou. He was thiou. He's going. He's going. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's going. th. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He's going. He a year! It's unbelievable. He was sick because he put on wet trousers. And you're going down to Hastings, are you leaving early? Because you

left early last time, isn't there? No, no, I wouldn't do that again. Now what you're going to Hastings for? Just having a break. Listen though, we were talking about depressing news, right? Right? And with that kid and what have you see that thing in that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, are thin, are the thin, are leaving, are th, are leaving, are leaving, are th, are their their their their tho, are leaving, are leaving, are their their their their their their their their their their their their, are their their, are their their, are their, are their, are their, are leaving, are their their their their their, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, are leaving, their their tho, tho, thea. theateatea. thooooooooooooooome. theatea, theatea, are their their their th. Are th thing in the week, there was three bits of depressing news, right? There was one, an old woman who swallowed a fork. An old woman who swallowed a fork? Yeah, she's dead the dog. She's dead the dog. So what did she, she swallowed a spoon? Why did she, yeah, yeah, when she followed the fork? What's the name, she swallowed a cock-. Sorry, whoa is this the old rhyme now?

So is there a rhyme that you've got slightly wrong? You've changed dog for fork. This is the truth is it? This is what you read? This is what you read on the spurious website or some mentalist emailed you. Just before you move on from that, there was an old woman, there was an old woman who swallowed a cockroach. Yeah. And in order to get the cockroa the cockroa cockroa cockroa cockroa cockroa cockroa cockroa cockroa cockroa sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp. S spe. S spea that that that th. S. S. th that th that that that th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that you've got that that that you've got that you've got that you've got that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the. the the the the. they. they. their the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th from that, there was an old woman, there was an old woman who swallowed a cockroach. And in order to get the cockroach out, she what, she swallowed a fork? It doesn't rhyme but it's good. She tries to get it out. With a fork? She went well forgot.

I'm thinking she's in a kitchen. That'll do. She grabs that or is that stupid that would be stupid if it was a gardening fork wouldn't it? I tell you what annoys me though with things like that. In the paper it was what you do and everyone knows that. It's honestly no. It's a nightmare. to that th. Honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, People, the way people say it must be great working with him. Must be brilliant. It's not, it's a nightmare. It is a nightmare. Go ahead. I can't be bothered now, let's just close on. Can't I, can't I, I'm interested. I'm interested.

Seriously, I am. Come back after this. No, no, no, no, let me finish to finish. Long links. I'll the throwne. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. tho. tho. It's not. It's thin. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the the the the the the the the their. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's a thi. It's a thi. It's not. It's a thi. It's not. It's not. It's a th thi. It's a the the the the the the I'm getting annoyed. I'm getting so angry. All right, I'm the player record I finished. Haugh. And Lucky Man, that's for Carl, who is a lucky man? Two hours every Saturday here. Just a little bit of chat and laughter. Some great records. All right.

What are you going to Hastings for? Just to chill out? Yep. What are you going to do? Just chill out. Just chill out. What's specifically is in Hastings that's of interest to you? They're having another battle? Nothing. It's just cheap, huh? If you can get a B&B for about 40 quid? Sure. The weather's good. Why not? Why not? that? Do you want Ricky to come come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come their to come to come to come to come to their to to to their to to their to to their their to their their to thiii? their their their thi? their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? Just? their? their? their? their their their their their their their their thii? thi? thooooooo? thoooooooooooooooooooooome? the? thea? thoooooooooooooooooooo? the? Just? tho? Do you want Ricky to come down with it? No. Right, okay. Now you were going to tell us something before he started winding you up. What we were talking about? We were talking about the old man who was mistaken for a small child. It was that, yeah, the 70-year-old who they thought was under age. Right. So we went, then we got on to... Right. So the old woman. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the. to. to. the the the the th. right, this is the old woman, I was saying, yeah, yeah, she ate a cockroach, she ate a cockroach, yes by mistake. How did she eat a cock. Why was it?

She was cleaning up, she was cleaning up, it jumped in the mouth. She was cleaning up. Right. All right. So she immediately, she'd have a plastic spoons, her fingers, maybe washing it out, maybe going, oh, oh, I nearly swore to the cockroach. Did she try that one? Oh, oh, how horrible? Right. So anyway, the fork went down and it's got this picture in the paper of like the x-. Wow. That's, that's mad, isn't it? Yeah. Well, it was, with a fork was in her abdomen was it? Oh, yeah, yeah. Are you sure she swallowed it? Sure. Sure. She did you say that to the doctor? How did he get in there? You got a fork inside of it? Yeah. I know what you get from that. Because I remember years ago, you know, Dr. Steel? Do I know? Do I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah..... Yeah..... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeaheele. Do I know Dr. Steele? Yeah on, he does, is it the one on Richard and Judy?

Right, what's he a psychiatrist or the resident doctor? He just popped in and I got the sort of? It's not that, it's not that sort of. It's just a normal doctor, fella. Sure. And, yeah, this was like in the 90s, and Richard and Judy said we got the doctor in the A again today, we're looking at things that have been inside people and there's this one, right, a fella comes on with an x-ray, it's sat on a pint glass. Well, that's what he had an added. Oh, it's sat on a pint glass. I remember that story that was published about the bloke and this is the excuse he gave to a doctor when he had to go and have something removed.

It was a bottle of sort of HP source or something. What would we say in case Andrews? What do you say? You don't need to? People know what you're saying? Rectum. Right? You didn't need to say it, but. Well, he might as well.

It's his medical treatment, isn't it? Anyway. Anyway. So the doctor got it out and the excuse he said, he's been shopping, he's been shopping, he's been the safe ways of what his shopping home. And he popped the shopping on the front step and he realized he's locked himself out. So he started to shimmy up the drain pipe but his trousers and pants fell down while he was climbing and he slipped and fell on the HP source bottle right and that was

the note thing right and the the doctor had put at the bottom on his notes this would be somewhat more believable if Safeway sold their HP source with condoms already attached. Ha ha ha ha ha. Well, I don't be bizarre. Why did he put a condom on it? No idea. To use it again on his chips.

So he didn't just buy it to have a quick, you know, he thought, well I don't want to waste the tho chips. I thook, he th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thi thin. thi thi thi thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. to to to thoom. thoom. to to to to to to to to to to to thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be thoom. He's thoom. He. He. He. He. He. He. He thi. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's tha. He's tha. He's tha. He's the. He's tho. He's thoooom. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. He's toooooooon't tooea. Hea. He's toooon't toon't toon't toon't t I don't want to waste that resource. I mean I use it at the ass then I'm on the chips. Oh fuck. Safe sauce, I always practice safe sauce. I always have safe sauce. Red tollippeppers, universally speaking on XFM 104. Steve. I'm just going to make every single one of our listeners shrug and kind of give up, who cares? by saying that after the ads, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I use it's, I use it's, I use it's, I use it's, I use th. I use th. I use th. I use th. I use th. I use thus, I use th. I use use use th. I use use use use th. I use use use use use th. I use use use use th. I use th. I use th. I use th. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I use. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I use the. I the. I the. I the. I'm just going to make every single one of our listeners shrug and kind of give up who cares by saying that after the ads songs of phrase answers. We've still got monkey news though, haven't we? Oh monkey news as well, yeah. Hello you're supposed to say something

that will keep people listening during the advert? Uh, should we've been about, no, can't do a cheeky figure in a week? Playing some ads. Playing some ads. I think we're thi' the the the their the their their th. th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're thi. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're thi. We're thi. We're still their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We're th. We're still. We're still. We're still. We're still still. We're still still still still still still still still still still still still still still th. We're still still th. We're still thi. We're still thi. We're still thi. We're still. We're still. We're still. We're stillage Vakes, Carl Pilkington and Steve Merchant. We were talking just before the ads about, I think we're talking about objects being stuck up people's eyes, it's okay. I think that was the link. Someone can just confirm that. It was a, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was object, obje, arson. Objea, objeus. Objeed da. Objeed objects you stuck up your thought. French for stuffing stuff up your ass.

But I remember when I, that's not really, it was just about objects and odd things in odd places. I used to work for a magazine when I lived in Bristol. And I remember the editor said to me once, he behind in a hotel room are. This was something they did every year, they just did a, they would phone up the local hotel. And I found out when I can only remember two of them, but they have stuck in my mind. These were found, I think it was the Marriott Hotel in Bristol. They were found by clean, a chicken. A live chicken. Yeah a live chicken. Yeah, a live. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a live. Yeah, a live. Yeah, a live. Yeah, a live. Yeah, live. Yeah, live. Yeah, live. Yeah, live. Yeah, live. Yeah, live. Yeah, live. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, live. Yeah, live. Yeah, live. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. I the. just left behind and a false leg. I mean I don't know who leaves behind a false leg I mean presumably you'd notice if you didn't have your false leg could maybe lie on the floor but but I just

remember well yeah I don't know where else you'd find those two objects except perhaps Paul McCartney's farm. I've always thought I've always thought I've always thought of who left behind a false leg. Maybe the chicken the chicken with the chicken the chicken was the chicken was the chicken was the chicken just the chicken was the chicken just the chicken was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was just. I was just. I was just th. I was just the th. I was just to to be to to be to to the to to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I the the. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I'm theeeeeea. I the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeee. I was just the myself who left behind a false leg? Maybe the chicken pecked it off. The person with it just like went and goes so much different I keep falling over. I don't know why and where's my chicken? Yeah. She probably called later and said, Did the clean us find a chicken and false leg? I'll check. We haven't had them handed in.

I don't know we've got a lot of chickens and false legs left behind. What was it like? It was just a wooden thing with a foot. Has it got a foot on the end? Well yeah. Yeah, we might have found it. to be yours. In pirate films they always had the pirates would have the peg leg, which was just a piece.

the piece of wood. I don't know why it didn't dawn on them then to make it look more like a leg. I mean I don't know at what point. I'd like to quite like a big... I wouldn't really be that interested, but I'd be marginally interested to see the history of it was fashion because they didn't wear long trousers then so they all stopped at the knee. Why are you wearing long trousers? It's like they had a hook. Why don't they have a glove? A hook is never a glove. It's not a practical enough thing. It is if you're abseiding between two buildings in a hurry, because then you can just use it straight down the wire. But a hook, I mean a hook is such a grotesque thing. I mean you...

Oh, I don't have a go on. tho. But I the weird. the weird. the weird. the w. the the thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho. thoom. thoom. It's. thu. tho. tho. tho. It's.... tho. tho. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's just just just just just. It's just just just a. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. Well I think it is useful. It's good for carry bags. Yeah shopping, carrying shopping. Do you think that was the concern of pirates? Well that Tesco I, well it's, I mean they didn't have like anemotronic sort of stuff then did that? I know but it's just so I mean you know it's just not very flattering is it a hook? I mean you know. James was at school with a kid who had lots of different things, like knife, fork, he could screw on to the end of it. That's brilliant. That's brilliant. That's good.

That's almost as good as having a head. Yeah. For the canteen. But it's school, you'd be the coolest kid in school, sure. A bit more frightening in the swimming pool or on a bouncy castle. Yeah, but yeah, for chopping their their their their their their tho tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's good. That's that's that's that's almost as good. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. That's thoomoomoomoomorrow. That's their their their thoooooomoomorrow. That's thoooomorrow. That's that's that's that bouncy carcass at the plate. You can't let him on. Oh, hooky. Get on. You're not welcome on here. Like to apologize for some of the things said in today's show. But what happened when he started asking girls out and stuff? I imagine he spent a lot of time with his hands behind his back. Oh God, with a sauce bottle in one. Probably. And I can't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thi' thin' thi' thin' tho' tho' tho' tho'er. I' tho' the. You're tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' hea' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' to get to get to to get to to to to to toeeeee. too'n'n't too'n't toe. toe. toe. And I can get out with this one.

Yeah. That's handy. There's a fella in Ward 2 that's got a shopping bag up his ass. Just pop it up there, pull it out, shopping intact. Done. Anyway, Hastings, it's going to Hastings in 10 minutes, isn't you? Can't wait. Lovely town.

Lovel to Nice little trip. Chill out, come back refreshed, Monday. Ah, let's do some work. Ooh, you'll sleep tonight. What is the boss want me to do? He's done you there, Carl. I was letting it their lie. And he comes back with it. So who's the winner? Well, I'm calling it rockbus. No more.

Where's all the way. Where's all the way. No more. Chicky girl, sugar babes. All right, Paul McCartney. Cheeky girl, sugar babes, space and beetles. Okay. Brilliant.

You've really, I mean, if you're not interested in it, mate. Anyway, we're going to give the prizes pretty good this week to James Waters from Colchester. Well done to him, he's got them pretty much right. Where's Dickie Anderson? Not only from Dickie Anders for a long time. Because I want him to, if there's one, if there's one I'd want him to hear it, it's this one. Because we've pulled out some of the stops now, aren't we? He's excited. He, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, he's excited, because, because, because, because, he's going, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, let's play a record. Let's play true and then let's come out with monkey news. Can we have some monkey news to end with? Oh, yeah, he's excited. Oh, oh. Ho ho! Oh, oh. Placero in this picture on XFM, 104. to 9. Eight minutes to go. Let's make it a good eight minutes and then we can all chill out. Excellent. I'm particularly aggressive jingle this week. Wow. Yeah, looking forward to this monkey news.

Carl, come on. What's the name? What? We've done a lot of monkeys who like got involved in crime and stuff. We had the one on the train station, Nick in a bag, we had the one who went into a bank, who cares? Went into a bank and walked out with the money and stuff. Yeah, it didn't happen either. But the thing is you never sort of found out what happened to them if they sort of got

worse, got more involved in crime and stuff. That would be amazing. Brilliant. What they found out in India is the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. We' th. Yeah, th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We had th. We had the. We had that, that, that that that one. one one the one one one one one one one one one one one one the one the one thto crime and stuff. Oh, this is monkey news? Update! That would be amazing. Brilliant. What they found out in India is, yeah. It's got a prison. It's just for monkeys. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You mean wild animals? You mean they've, yeah, a zoo or a kennel or something that's been

gone mental or something. Yeah, does it have fraud cases? It's got, it's mainly, sort of animals that are attacked things. I'm mainly violence I bet. That and that and feth. Say it again? Say it again? Say it again?

Robin. No, let's go back to that word. We've got six minutes. You're going to say the word right before you go to Hastings. Well, do you say it? Well, no, because then you know how to say it. Well, all right, Robin then. It's been caught Robin. Say it again though.

Who's Robin? Who's Robin? So they got a prison for him, right? And there's 11 of them in there, 11 monkeys that are in there for life. Because that's, I think there's one just got out on parole, right? No time off again. There's 11, I'll give you the bit of paper because I thought this was... Now Carl, what are they in there for then? Because I'm in, the their, they're, their, they're, they're, their, their, their, they're, th, their, th, th, th, th, th, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, their, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the bed and is 11 I'll give you the bit of paper because I thought this was... Wait is he thought it's a bit weird? Now Carl what what are they in there for then? Because I mean they're in there for life so I'm assuming it's murder is it? Premeditated murder?

They're not they're not crime bosses are they? They're not. Are you sure they're not they're just the pawns and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're not the just appauns up a tree going, remember you don't know me, you're on your own. If I go down you're all coming with me. Take some of your gorillas don't there and sort him out. Oh, the great banana robbery. I wonder if they get them. Right, go on then.

Okay, let me see. Now, I don't know what source this is, as ever. Is it ever stepped back to the back of a fagbag that it found in a toilet? Well, no, I mean, someone's clearly, if this is nonsense, then someone's clearly gone to a lot of effort because it does open with the headline, parole monkey prison. Yeah! Officials say 11 inmates at India's only monkey jail. Officials, now what kind of people work at a monkey jail? Where do you work? It says, officials say, 11 inmates at India's only monkey jail are unlikely to ever be released.

The prison in Patilia houses monkeys apprehended by game wardens in Punjab and attacking people. The Daily Telegraph reports how the monkeys at the prison in Monte Bauer, blah, blah, blah, their snarl and glarit visitors from their heavily barred cages. Two monkeys were released a year ago after exhibiting good behavior for 18 months in the jail. They have remained out of trouble. Prison can work, that's good. So, all 11 monkeys. They were aggressive wild animals that were taken, thage, thage, thage, thaged, thaged, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi taken away from the public for their own good.

I'm rapping and that. Wildlife officials believe part of the problem has been caused by thieves training monkeys to help them. Lorry drivers training monkeys as guards for vehicles and itinerant entertainers using ill-treated monkeys as part of that. It's the monkey that takes the rap. It's a shame that is awful. They didn't know what they were doing. Did they?

Oh, there you go. What's it? What would you? If you could visit them, like Lord Longford or something, know so I can you get as a video all right do they get a conjugal right jerkin you wouldn't be interested in that there would you what would you would you would you would you would you thrown would you fair enough all right after after hosting off you later