The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E50 (August 9, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

With the second series of ‘’The Office’’ complete, Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM in August of 2002 to resume their 2-hour Saturday afternoon broadcasts. Though Pilkington’s name was still not being used in promotional materials, the format mainly centered on his contributions with Gervais and Merchant mostly reacting to the various things Karl said and did, a format that would endure through the remainder of the radio broadcasts and podcasts, concluding in 2012.This was the longest stretch of XFM shows, running 51 weeks until August 2003 when Gervais and Merchant again went on hiatus, this time to record the Christmas Special (finale) for ‘’The Office’’.During the year, Pilkington introduced many of the show’s most notable segments including “ Monkey News”, “Rockbusters”, “Songs of Phrase”, and “The Film Thing”, among others. Karl grew increasingly frustrated with Ricky’s antagonism toward him throughout the year, and over the final few shows, suggested he did not want to continue on. Gervais and Merchant repeatedly said on air they would not return if Pilkington didn’t agree to remain with the show.

Elbow, all right? Fallen Angel on XFM 104.9. Well we're back, I'm Ricky Javais with me, Steve Merchant, and Carl Pilkington. Carl's all a little bit, I don't know, he's a bit frustrated, he's sort of a bit sweaty and fed up today, aren't you? Because the heat. It's too much though, isn't it? He's taken out. He was sort of like, he's taken it, to taken. the heat. taken. taken. tap. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. the, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. tha. tha. tha. t. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t lead on him and try and rub his head yeah but today he was sort of leading it he was sort of like getting a little bit I didn't know better I just said it was sexual frustration I was watching Rick if you don't want me saying I was watching not in that way just for watching it just for watching it I was going oh I want to hit you and I weren't enjoying it but he was really what was that going on what was the change why are you suddenly sort of what you're trying what what what are you trying to say no I'm just saying it was weird that you said the it was like you're all you're saying no but what was Suzanne accused to me of that in a week

why so being a bit gay so I'm sure you're gay. Why? Just because I was moaning about stuff, she said, oh, you're a drama queen. Rhewre. Right, well that's... What were you moaning about? Not having enough gay sex? No. She didn't have a knob. Yeah. It's going, why don't you get yourself a nice little knob? I mean, can I call you a frank, please.

Could you wear this thue thue tha tha tha thu thu tha tha thu thu thu thu thu that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that please? Could you wear this false beard? Yeah. It's just, um, what we'll talk about later was about the Seven Wonders. I just wasn't that impressed. He was right, he said, look, well we say that, well we've got a top show coming and have but if you are a little bit, kind of just a little bit sexually, you know, don't be afraid to let it hang out. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th you th you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I that that that that that that, I that, I mean, I'm that, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'd just, that, that, that, I's that, that, that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I th. that, I th. th. th. that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I mean, I mean, that, that, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, that that that that that that that that you want us to relieve you of it. I'll say what, let's have a little bit of Maggie Mae by Rod. Can I play Killing a Georgie?

Um, that's your favorite song, isn't it? Oh. That's weird, isn't it? That's weird. I'd like to hear Rod Stewart tongue in about a lovely lady, please, Carl. How would I? You can picture whatever you want. Bit of Rod, Maggie May, on XFM, 104.9. I'm looking to raise with me, Steve Merchant and Carl Pilgridgeon, Steve. Well, I've only just read about this and I'm quite, I don't know anything about it,

this naked rambler, Steve Goff. Yeah. Is he doing some kind of, he's doing a walk from Lands to John to the Groats? Is he completely nude? Yeah, he's been arrested ten times on the way apparently. Right, it says here that Nora gough is mom, she's in her seven. She's begged her son, not to walk not to walk not a to walk not to walk not to walk not to walk not to walk not to walk not the walk not the to walk. the walk. the the walk. the walk. the walk. the walk. the walk. the walk the walk the walk the walk the walk the walk the walk the walk from a walk from a walk the walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk. He's a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from. their. their. He's a walk from a walk from a walk from a walk from. He's a walk from a walk from a walk from. He's a walk. He would never have been allowed to walk around the house without covering himself up. I wouldn't go as far as I'm ashamed of him but I do not approve of what he is doing. Having said that, it's good to see him on the tele. Yeah, it must be.

Yeah, it must be. It's not anything. It's not. It's not. It's it. Well it's he looks like one. He's not obviously, you know. I mean, what is he doing? I don't know. Steve wouldn't say he was and he's not. It's just a roundblower. It's just, but he's there right. And he's just, what's the point of that? But he's got shoes and socks on? He's got a ru-In't. He's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. the their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. He's just. He's just a their. He's just a their. He's just a their. He's just a their. He's just a their. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just. He's just a the the the the the the the the the the the the their. He's just. He's just. He socks on, he's got a rucksack on, he's got a hat on, he's not nude, he's just got his knob out. Yeah, but I don't know that he's got a full beard thinking I want to hide some skin. Whereas this little chap needs the air, I'll pop him out all the time I can. They're really annoying me. because he's in the supplement today as well with the mirror right and they've done they've done the they've done the the they've the they've the they've the the they've the the the they've the the the the the they've the the the their their their the. the. the. the. the' the' thin' thin' the' the' the' the' the' hea' hea' that's that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' to have to have to have toe. He's got the. He's got thin the. He's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that's got that a bit about nudists and that again.

Same problems all the time. Come on. There's like an old fella sat there just the... How do you know he's old? Well... Why are you looking, Carl? Why are you looking at his face, I knew, presumably? Yeah, I'm just saying he's old and hethere smoking a pipe, sure, with his sandals on.

They're quite normal, just with his knob out. But look, they always make the same mistake. He's got a little white deck chair. Yeah. If you nudist, don't go for white. Why? You're sitting on that, getting a bit clammy and stuff. Ah, the... White, don't go for white. Go for darker colors. I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know why, but I love it.

I love the fact that he's just got loads of pictures of naked men. Yeah. I'm just saying a dirty ass on that. I think we've discussed the news before that I don't understand the impulse at all. I do find it bizarre. I mean there's a picture there are three men nude in a pub. Yeah. Just having a chat. Yeah.

Just having a chat. Oh look at Carl. Can't even have those pictures. I mean, okay, fair enough walking around outside. But indoors though, isn't him as opposed like the local. There's though isn't there there was a thing in bizarre magazine the other week where there was a picture of some people they've got an airline of their own now. What nudists? Nudes? Nudes? Nudes. Newed airline? So you just you can get on there. Your holiday starts soon as you get on. Sure. And uh but what's the point? Well I'd be be the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they the they they they the th. I'd th. I'd th. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. Nued. Nudes. Nude is th. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. There's is. No. There's. No. No. No. No. No. There's. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. No. It's. It's. There's. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. soon as you get on. Sure. And, but what's the point?

Well I'd be for it, I'd just about banging against things. You know, so to speak. Yeah, my shoes and things. Or spilling the hot, when the waitress comes along, what, what, I say. She spilled hot coffee? Yeah, it's a good point. Would she have to be nude? Would the stewardess have to be here? I don't know. But that bit as well where they walk down the aisle and they have to check if you've buckled up. Yeah. She's like, excuse me, miss, can you just... And over 50s, it's always over 50s. Right, yeah. So it'd be an old woman on the plane. Yeah. You'd be like, can you just lift your left it got to go into the crash position. Oh God yeah. You know? The last thing you see is your John Thomas.

As you go, as you go crashing into a mountain. So everyone, and then what have you got to abandon ship? I know, what... I would explain that? Yeah. You're on to an island. All right. Well being picked up by, you know, a passing shit.

Yeah. Carl, you notice they also play volleyball a lot, don't they? Yeah, I mean you've always mentioned that, but I thought you were joking, but they love it. Yeah. They've said, that's what they do. They get to the idea from sort of like carry on camping or Benny Hill or they actually like it jiggling around as much as possible. Yeah but is that safe? Well I assume so you play volleyball with trousers on don't you? I wouldn't

have thought. Yeah but there's a better like support there. I mean I was watching athletics right the other week yeah and I was watching it because there's a a lad who I went to school with these like winning gold medals the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi. I thi. I' thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're they're thi. I'm thi. there's a lad who I went to school with these like winning gold medals and everything there in the Olympics and stuff right so I was looking out for him now if you went to school with him I'm assuming he's got three legs or something no no he's normal he used to push me on my go cart and I feel like I've you've trained I was there from the start training up a bit. And watching the programme and it was swimming in it and I was watching that for a bit, getting a bit annoyed because that butterfly stroke, yeah.

I don't know why they do that. No, not the way. It's just hard work. He doesn't make you go any faster than say the, that stroke, the crawl. The crawl. Don't do that as, that stroke on radio, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that stroke, that stroke, that stroke, that stroke, that stroke, that stroke, that stroke, that stroke, tho, the the that, I throat, I tho, I tho, I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I the the the the the the the the the the the the that, I was, I was, I was that, I was thro, I was throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, I was, I was that, I was that, I was th that stroke the crawl. Don't do that as a that stroke on radio doesn't work the crawl yeah. So I was watching that you know that's that's annoying. And then they got on to the running bit and my mate's in this race. Now they do the side shot don't they? So you can see using the lead. Sure. And then they do that front shot where it's absolutely pointless. the only only the the only the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. throre that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. throeaaa. throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. the. I's throooooooooooooooooe. that's that's that's they do that front shot where it's absolutely pointless. The only reason to do the front shot I think is to keep women interested. Because you can basically see his tackle, going from left to right, being battered all over the place. Why were you looking?

Seriously, you had no choice if you wanted to watch it. It was like I was interested if he was going to win but it's like you know. But why do you turn over and watch Fly's Angels instead? Because I wanted to see if he won the race but well flip back at the end just flip back to get the result or at yeah or at least turn away or close to the front shot no I wasn't I just just I was thin was happy Susan was loving it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah th and I was like th I was like th I was like th I was like th I was like th I was like th I was like th I was like the th I was like th I was like the the th I was like the the to to to th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I was th I was th I was th I was th I was th th th th th th th th th th thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi Yeah and I was like whoa whoa whoa yeah just go to the other shot but they were showing you the front shot and running along there they could have just shown the top half but they didn't sure it was there. There's just heads moving along at 25 miles an hour yeah well I think you're meant to see the running the actual legs moving is it is an athletics coverage is it it's not like... but but but but but but but but but they but they but they but they but they but they but they but they but they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they don't they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th I th I th I the thy the thy thy thy the thy thy the thy the thy the the they're they're not like... But they don't show you a

shot from behind. Did you want that? I know I didn't want that. It sounds like you were disappointed. Yeah, play a record. Oh we have a better radio head. Yeah, be brilliant, wouldn't it? It's a last year you remember we began the show by talking about knobs. I think we've got a bit more knob news this week the knob news is on the way. After. After. After. After th. After th. After the the th. After th. After th. After the the th. After the th. After the th. After th. After the th. After the th. A th. A they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. Yeah. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I th. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. We're tho. We're tho. We're tho. We're tho. We're tho. We're thi thi. It's they're theing about knobs. I think we've got a bit more knob news this week. Nob is going up is it? After Radiohead, more cock. Radiohead and go to sleep. That's not to you, please don't go to sleep. We've got another hour and 35 minutes of fun chat and great, great music on XFM 104. I'm Ricky Jemois. I'm Ricky, with me Steve Merkkin. And Carl Pilkintin. Pilkington, Pilky, you know, Cayman Pilkers, little baldy twat, mank winging, a little bit

bent Pilkers. There he is. There he is there. Now Rick, you may remember that last week we opened with some quality knob-nob-nob news. Nob news, yeah. It was, it was, it was, Hitler's knob, was one of them. That just sparked off into a whole bunch of other kind of knob related discussions and I'm pleased so far to see that we're almost at the halfway mark for this first hour and so far we've only talked

about nudity and or today today's excellent work from us well done that I'm looking forward to Dr. Fox and the rest of the Sony Award committee listening to this one yeah yeah but more nob news ne news news news news news th I th new th new th I th new th I th new th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I thus thus thus th. thus thus thus tho thus thus that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that the the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the that the that the the that the the the the the the the the the the the that tho. that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the a jingle for that maybe. Oh, you nearly had the eye out. Nob news. Nob news, excellent. This is an extraordinary story. A woman tried to sue her bosses for £210,000 after finding a cooked penis in a canteen stew. Hospital cleaner Sophie, something, something, I can't write pronounce that name, was eating goulash for lunch and could not cut one of the lumps of meat. You can see where it's going. I've got so many questions already. I know. She picked it up and

try to chew it but it was too tough. Then she inspected it with workmates who all agreed it was a penis. Imagine that discussion. Yeah, yeah. Miss McLata said she vomited for the rest of the day, instantly became a vegetarian and had to have psychiatric help. It's not known whether the organ was from a human. The case continues. Well it can be found out so that's one thing obviously that doctors aren't confused and I don't know I've never seen one like it. Also why is she in goulash? I mean that is my first question why? Oh yeah yeah you got you

oh lunch oh what do you want I fancy don't know I fancy some goolash. Some ghouly lash. Gully lash. Thanks too much indeed. Lancash, Lancash. Lancash, lankish a cockpot. Oh, brilliant. It's on the menu. Only 5 pounds. Only 5.509. Wangers and mash. I'd love some wangers and mash please. If you've got any knob-related puns, the thi-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-in. th-you-you-in. th-you-you-you-you-you- call XFM on 346, 14094. Ricky dot Chevays at XFM.co-Co-Coak. Call Chris Miles at Radio 1.XFm. Wengen, cock-o-kank.

Cock-cocke. Cock-o-van. It's already done for you. That's just off the top of our brains. So you've got any of your own keep to yourself for not interested what did you make of that knob news I need to know hospital I don't think so oh god I know all your mind's thinking already there's been a mix up

there's been a mix up I love that what some bloke's gone in some lesbians gone in some lesbians gone in what a sex change she's got a carrot for a car. That's chewing steak. That's true in steak. Oh that would be great. You're not a doctor, you butcher. It's not funny.

There was some other news. Whilst we're doing the knob news, just cram this one in. There was some story on some news website about some lad who wasn't happy with what what he'd been given. Right. What do you mean? He had an op? No, he wanted to have an up. He wasn't happy with what God had given him. Yeah, yeah. The look what the Lord had popped downstairs for it. Sure. And uh... Sorry, no wait a minute, was he a bloke? Yeah, fella, yeah, fella. And what he wanted, he didn't want a knob? Or he wanted a bigger knob? What a bigger one. Right, okay. And uh, cost five grand. Right. And uh, cost five grand. Right. Right. And uh, cost five grand. And they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the th. Was th. Was the th. Was th. Was the the the the the the the the the the th. Was the to to to to to th. Was he was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Was to. Was to. Was to. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was th. Was he. Was he. Was he. Was he was he was he was tho. Was he was tho. Was he was the the thoooooooooooooooooo' the the the toe. Was he was to to to to to to tho tho to of it. Well, how do they make a mess of it? I don't know, it came out, smaller than he went in with.

What do you mean? Absolutely different. I don't know all the ins and outs. It was... Oh God. It was just like he borrowed the money off his mom. I love that. How bad is that. What do you want for your birthday, son???? th? th? th? th? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? the birthday thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi thi. tho thi. thi? thi. tho tho tho thi. It thi. It came tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It thi? thi? thi. It thi. It thi. It thi. It thi. It thi. It thi. It came tha. It came tha. tha. tha. It came tha. tha. It came they tha. It came thi. It came tha. It came tha. It mom. There's been a slight mix-up. He borrowed the money off his mom? I love that. How bad is that?

What do you want for your birthday, son? Yeah. Interesting. Thanks mom, for the news. Hello, doctor. How do you go? Well, firstly, don't look under the managers and don't have the gouage. It was smaller than you went in. Man, we got five grand. Why? Tell me what it's for. You can have it. We tell me what it's for.

Well look at that. Oh, you need a big one, yeah, definitely. There's the money. On you go. Nothing can go wrong. What did they say to the doctor then? That's rubbish. I didn't read all the ins and outs. They're all not that show. But you just thought, well thanks for it, you just thought you'd pop that one in. Thanks. Yeah, that's the, that's the ad-due. Nob News extra.

Play record, Carl. So if you've got any knob news, we've got one of the new English rappers. Let's play it. Send that to Ricky Dovey's at the hot new English rappers let's play it loosen your hold south that's great and I love that one on xfm one on rickety raise with me Steve matching and Carl Fogerton Carl good choice for it good choice cheers cheers cheers what you think you can what you've been doing this week it's been going on yeah uh you'd be miserable because of the heat obviously that's getting me down yeah yeah it's just a way people wa to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they's they's they's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they. they. I they. I the they. I the they. I the th they. I they. I th th the is the the the the the the obviously. That's getting me down. Yeah. It's just a way people wander about as well with next and out on. Yeah. I'm always amazed by the men because there's a

certain breed of man. Sometimes it's kind of builders, mechanics, taxi drivers, van drivers, but not necessarily, students, all sorts of guys and he was sort of watching, they're walking in the street, girls, you know, girls, you know, obviously, in their sort of summer gear and it's literally you know I he's gonna look at those legs oh knock I can't believe oh you know this not talking to their mates they're checking it oh it's an I can't believe it oh and it's like it's like it's like they sort of forgets I'm. It's like it's like some kind of amnesia that now, but have you had tits under their window? Yeah, bloody out. Brilliant! It's great to see him again.

Yeah, and then he gets us, he gets to sort of walks over and they go where they go on! What happened? I just don't say anything, I just don't get on with it, but they're reminded. Yeah. nipped out, I'm in a cup of tea, reading the paper, reading that bit about nudist and that. Sure. And a little old fella, must have been 75, okay, walks past, shoe socks, sort of shorts but because he's old, I don't think he's got like a normal pair of shorts, so we're like suit pants but short. It's a really smart shorts, I've never seen before. Yeah. But the thing is with them being old and thin, it's just, don't do that, don't walk around that. What, the legs put, the legs in the back, he looked like a little tortoise without its shell on.

And you go out to see, I was wanted to see a tortuas without its shell on. I was always want to see if it was want the the their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to see it was want to see it was to see it was to see it was to see it was to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see, I was to see to see to see to see to see I I was to see I was to see I was to see, I was to see, I was to see, I was to see, I was to see, I was to see, I was to see, I was to see, I was to see it to see it to see it to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see to see th there there thathea thathea thirton, I was thirton, I was thattota thattota. I was that or that or that or that that or that that that or that that or that that, don't that, don't to see if it would run really fast and go, this is brilliant. Just scamp for alarm. I saw grotesque thing. I saw, I think it's Britain's fattest man. I'm not sure. He was huge. I mean, I don't wish him any ill, but so big. It was ludicrous. He was waddling down Oxfrey. And he genuinely, I'm not a big thrown to the ttauuu. ttau. ttau. tta tta tta t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. I'm thi. I'm th thi. I'm thi. I'm not thi. I'm not sure. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm not thi. I'm not th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'mturns my stomach. This guy was twice as big. He was extraordinary and he sat down on a big bench and literally took up the whole space and he reached into his bag he's having

his lunch and he was eating an apple and I really felt like I wanted to slap him on the bat and go he's a bit late for that mate. It's probably starting now he's probably starting thinking that I'm going to make a change. And imagine if you just said that, and he'd have, it'd been awful, wouldn't it? Yeah. He took, he's cut it in half, put it between two slices of chocolate. I mean, I don't know how you get happy. I don't know how he gets that big. I mean, I don't know how you'd to try and to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get was like you'd come out to sort of soak up some of the sun, you know. Well you look better with the tan. Yeah, was he wearing loose black clothes? He was, of

course he was wearing loose clothes. That worked up to a point. Yeah. And then, you know, it's it's not falling anyone. Yeah, vertical stripes. Yeah. Yeah. Just people just worry past and think it's night. Yeah. So Carl. So, so that's, so, so, so, so, so, so, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. So, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the he. Was he. Was he. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. That's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. He. He. He. He. He. Was he. He. Was he. Was he. Was he. Was he. Was he. Yeah. That's it. So, Carl. So, yeah, so that's, you know, that's been annoying me with the weather and that. And then, uh... I love the warm weather. Although I can't sleep in the night. I had two hours in front just went and lay down in front of the window, in front of the French window just because it was just too hot night. But if I can sleep, I love hot weather. I love walking around when it's sunny.

It's better for you. People are usually happier in hot weather. The sun is good for you. I mean, it has been hot. I mean, it's 100 degrees. It's probably too hot to work, but. Mental, I can't think straight. You know your little baldy head, isn't it bad? a little bit hot. Well, I mean, I'm just got my head on show, what about the nudists?

You worry about them before you worry about me? Right? Another thing that happened in the week, you know, I've just had builders around sorting the kitchen out there. So, virtually skint. But another problem happens. Boiler starts playing up. Right. Right. So, and you've got to have a shower in this weather, you've got to be able to have a shower on that and fresh enough and what have you? Well, I have a shower every day anyway, I mean two sometimes, but yeah. Yeah, but if you don't get any hot water, you can't, can you? All they're all right? Cold shows all, the tho is is is is. th. It's is. It's. It's. th. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You've. You've. You've. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You've. to? You've. to? You've got. to? You've got. to to to to to to to to to to go go go, to to to go go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And, to the the the th. And,, 90 quid. 90 quid.

All they did, turns up, says, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just bang it. Bang the boiler. That's a 90 quid. Last time I banged a boiler it cost me 90 quid. And there was a lot of leakage then. So I, you know, I understand where you go. I do simple thing. But do you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, I, I, I, I, th. It, I, th. It, th. It, th. It, tha. It. It's. It's, tha. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, th Yeah. But you know like I I catch him out as well do you know like you know I know

they're up to no good and stuff they don't earn the money sure and he was in the bathroom so I sort of creep up and I try and stick my head around the door to see what he's up to what a man in the bathroom and put your head on with you out and seeing you? Go on though. Fair enough. Right, do you want to go over what happened that time when we're in the pub and I go to the toil and you'll try to get in? What happened? Is that normal? Go on, what happened? Go on, not shiress. What happened? Go on? Go on, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Go, no. Go, no. Go, no. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, go, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to, do. th. th. happened? Well don't start a story and then don't finish it. We're doing it later. Tell us that. He was in the cubicle. He was in the cubicle to have a piss to avoid me annoying him, right? So what he did? I got some of that liquid soap. I just put it over and squirt on him and he came out going, look, it looks like someone's just f-fing jizzed on me back back.....ed on me back. I had to walk through Soho, getting out on me back.

I was walking too. So when was it we had to go to the, when we went to the Ivy with those people? Wednesday? We had a business meeting, right? And I walked up and walked up to walking around the ivy, it was about half eleven. And as I got to just going the the the the to go the the the the the IV it was about half 11 and I was going down old Compton Street and as I got to just going past Mamma Mia something hit me on the shoulder I looked down and obviously it was bird shit but just for just for a split second I thought it looked like jiz and I just thought oh god because no and I sort of wiped off and I thought right I went all I got washed my hands like get in it what obviously wasn't it. It was just, it was bitch and shit or something right. But I had this pamphlet once when I was at UL,

Terrence Higgins Trust left this pamphlet and it was all stuff like safe sex and it was stuff like, honestly I swear. It said you don't you don't have to have four, Ailing the cross, it said you can do lots of other things with your lover, like... It said like, um, like come into some fruit, eagia a melon. It says, um, with friends, um, just come on the back of one of them, right? And then this is the bit that made me think, and I thought, oh my God, when I looked down sort of my shoulder, it says, come out of a window! Yeah, all the new passing celebrity.

Oh God, I'll get that pamphlet, if anyone's got that pamphlet, it was brilliant. So, yeah. Good, right, well, um, let's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thin, th. thin. thi. And I'm, th. th. th. And I'm, th. And I'm, th. And I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I I I I I I I th. And I I I I I. And I. And I. And I. And I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'll, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. Come, th. Come, th. Come, th. Come, th. Come, th. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come. Come, I'm, I'm. Come, I'm. Come, I'm. Come, I'm. that pamphlet, if anyone's got that pamphlet, it was brilliant. So yeah. Good, right, well, let's play. Do you recognize Edmunds did stuff like this on his show? He's back. Oh, dude. Oh, dear. Oh. Oh, Smith.

And Ask. Ask. Onxffam. . Before that we had we had spunky news coming up monkey news that's the sort of linked this is Dr. Fox is no better than this no you must see we're getting better now have you got any other news there Carl what you were just talking about bird muck what a classy show this is. I imagine someone just having a barbecue chained into this.

Yeah. Can you turn the radio off? He's talking about coming out of the windows again, darling. It's putting me off my sausages. Now what, I was walking down down the street and this pigeon, Sparrow, whatever, did its thing, and it landed on my air and I was like, oh god. So I thought I'm not going to wipe it off. Why not? Because I don't want to get it on my hands.

So I thought I'd leave it till I get home. So it's probably about... So you went to work? So you went to work? Oh, better friends. Yeah. About a win night. I went on the pool. So it was best man. So after speeches. That is brilliant. It was on there for, I don't know, half an hour or something like that. Brilliant. And I get home and, uh, get some of it not kind of slowly ooze down your neck? No, no, it's fair, it's, it. It. It. It. It. It's a, it. I. I. I. It's a, it. I. I. I. I. It's a, it. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the th and I've some. I've some. I've some. I've some. I've some. I've that. I've that. I've that. I've the best. I've the best. I've some. I've some. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a th. It's a better. It's a better. It's a better. It's a better. It's a better. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's better. It's a better. I don't know, half an hour or something like that. Brilliant. I get home and get some... Did it not, can I slowly ooze down your neck? No, no, it's fairly hard. And, um, sort of corroded my ear.

What are you talking about? Why did you leave it there though? Why not just wipe it off with something? I can walk around with... Pop in a news news news news news newstissues. But that looks stupid. Where is the brudsmuck on your ear? Brilliant. They're all wearing that now. But no, what is it?

It's alkaline, no, it's really strongly alkaline, isn't it? Or is it acidic? I don't know. Maybe someone knows. Is bird mucidic or alkaline? But it's corrosive, yeah. Weird, weird. Weird, isn't it? It didn't seep into your brain. Listen, do you want to do, do you want to set up songs of phrase? Oh God.

Um, if you've not heard the show before... I thought we weren't doing this this week. I thought we weren't. No, we'll do it once, right? And then next week's the last is the last is the last is the last is the last is the last is the last is the last is the last is the last is the last is the last the last is the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last the last one's the last one's the last. the last one. the last the last the last to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. to, th. th. to, to, th. th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, th. to, to, to, to, th. to. th. th th th? And then next week's the last one, so we'll do rockbusters. Leave, leave the last one ever, depending on whether Carl decides to come back in October or not. Exactly. I'm bored. I tell you I'm bored of it. What are you bored with it? I get bored quick with stuff. Yeah. I told to told Susanne the other night, I's, she's, I mean, things. You put on her soft music though first, did you? You didn't just like start getting that right there, dude, da da da. You know you're a very lucky girl, sorry? Well I used to get bored with you in that. Yeah, you're lucky. You're lucky you haven't pissed off. Yeah, do you want to open the champagne or what? Well she was an idea. the other night? that's you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you, you, you, you, you're, you, you, you, you know, you know, you're, you're th. You're th. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't know, don't know, don't know, don't, don't, don't know, don't, don't know, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't you see it, aren't they? We're walking to the pictures, right? To go and see Bruce Almighty. Sure.

Why? Just something to say, isn't it? Yeah. So you were trying to sneak in the back. So on the way, cutting across Lesser Square. And those fellas who sell roses, he comes over. Do you want one? Do you want one? that she's allergic to him, right? So we'd go away. Yeah. She got all annoyed about that. Because she's not allergic to them. Well she's not allergic now but I don't, but they're about three quid each.

But the point of mankind is not that she really wants a rose, is that you're willing to spend three paines on it. Taking us to the pictures. How much was though? Did you... If I know you, you had her dressed up as a small child. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and my son, please. Or you've made a sit on your shoulders and wear a long coat. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, listen, songs of phrase then. You paid for it going and then you went and had a pint while she watched it. Yeah, it's not important songs of phrases. You do it.

Okay, oh really? If you think that Carl is bored with life, then you will be even more bored when you have heard this particular quiz. The gist of it is that Carl has taken a well-known phrase or saying... Well, no, stop me there, not a well songs which have somehow built up that particular phrase or sentence. If it's anything about Chinese people, Philip Bailey will be involved. That's all I can say.

Okay, let's hear it then, Carl. I don't know what that was. I am. Please, take me television. All right. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. Carl, I do not know what that is.

What is the phrase? I just was saying last week about everyone's raving about Galileo. No, they're not. No, they're not. No, they're not. That sounds like a sort of B-ide from the Buggles. Everyone's raving about Beyonce and Robbie Williams. They're not, they're not, people going, what are you into? Galloway is good.

Yeah. Forget it, forget it. No! Ex-Fibaugh. to see. 104.9 on Ricky Rays with me Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. We were doing songs of phrase. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Oh God. So what is this phrase? What is the phrase, Carl? Last week we're talking about Galileo? Right. And I just was saying, years ago, I don't remember now, when was he doing his thing? End of the 16th century I think. Right. And he was messing about, trying to find out about speed of light or something, is it? No, he did lots of stuff, he did lots of stuff going on.

All they were saying is, back then, surely everyone was saying, stop messing with that. Make us a tele. You know what? You know what? I mean, there was other things that people would have been happier with, sure, back then? Yeah, so the phrase is what? The wra phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase phrase? Well-known phrase is what? Uh, Galilee. Uh... Oh, it goes like this, right? Ha ha ha.

Talk to me about science. Please take me television. Right? So it's Galileo's Stop talking to me about science. Make me television. make me television. Make me television. Yeah.

So you email in with the bands and that. Brilliant. Right, that is rock bottom. I mean the well-known phrase being Galileo's talking about science, make me television. That's a well-known phrase is one of the weirdest things I've a forget jizz out of windows and things like that that is the weirdest thing I've heard on radio as a competition can we have that one next week here are the prizes if you think Rick that if you think the quiz has hit rock bottle what do I tell you these prizes brilliant oh I know that we're very much pushing new music on XFM and it's an alternative music station

so you'll be pleased that we're giving away now that's what I call Music 55 featuring the likes of Busted and Daniel Beddingfield. Brilliant. You really know how to cater to our audience don't you? The best dance album in the world that includes DJ Sammy, Scooter and Liberty X on there. I look forward to that. This is not so bad. Nick Cave in the Bad Seeds, a live DVD of a, pardon me, a performance. And some, pardon me again, but anyway, anyway. Anyway, that basically sums up the prizes. So I won't tell you the rest, they're all monotonous.

But anyway, I think those crisps Rick have gone down the prizes. So I won't tell you the rest, they're all monotonous. But anyway, I think those crisps, Rick, have gone down the wrong way. Or although I was eating goulash earlier. Sorry, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. So anyway, yeah, that's some of the prices. And you can win some TAT. If you can identify these artists. The well-known phrase, Galileo, still talking about science, make me television. It's just abetting me by science. Please, television. That's just appalling.

But easy this week, I think. I think, yeah. Play a record, Carl. I mean, it's ridiculous. Ricky.Jovies at XFM.co. UK. The Pixies on XFM 104.9 holiday song. He's talking about people coming around and just banging the boiler and charging 90 quid. I think it was last Christmas. We had a dripping tap, right? And it started off just dripping a little bit. And then, after a couple, I thought, you know, we'd get that sorted sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort the the and then after a couple I thought you know would get that sorted out we couldn't actually turn the tap couldn't it

was just solid whether the the washer had gone and then over Christmas like it's like before Christmas it just started flowing it was just like on and I was thinking this is terrible worst it was a hot tap and of course everything a caretaker gone away everything had everything had been closed down so I we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we can we can we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we and we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we couldn we we we we the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th the tc took took took took took th the the the the the the the the the th this is terrible it was the hot tap and of course everything is the caretaker going away everything that the plane goes down so I called out an emergency plumber Christmas yeah but he couldn't get it just turn the tap off right so um he was trying to try and in the end he said well what I could do is I could just squash the pipe right and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thigh thigh thigh thigh thigh thigh thigh thigh is thigh is tape is thigh is thigh is th is thigh is thigh is thigh is thigh is tape is thigh is tape is tape is tape is tape is tape is tape is just tape is just tap is just tap is just tap is tap is tap is tap tap tap toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toye toye toye toye. thin thin th the. thin the. the is just just just just thin th. I like yeah whatever right because I can't have this I guess so where is I got I got to go to the van and he got this tall came up to squash the pipe was any young man right Wasn't strong enough so I had to help him squash the pipe right he scrooac the pipe right he scoast. the tip.

the pipe cut it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it put it the the the the the the the th th the th the the the the the that the the that the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that th I thu I too too too too too too too too too too too too too the the the the the the the the the theid and I wanted to say surely that's half mine yeah I helped do it and I was sort of being sarcastic when Johnny was there I was going how much was that tall you he went he went I was only about nine quid I went pay for itself in it yeah I was going could I get one of them he was going yeah get him anywhere obviously yeah and then he went and then he went I said how much is that then he they'd they they they he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he was he was he was he was he was he was going he he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he was th th th th the the the to the that the that that the the the the to that that that the was that the for the nozzle on the end I went no he went I said how much is that then he said two for that two pounds fifty hundred hundred and eighty two pounds fifty so he hadn't even really sorted the problem what can you do you know he wasn't written me off that's the prices yeah he's not going to happen. My mate was locked out of his flat once and he went out and shut the door behind him and that was it and he'd

looked through a letter box and he could see his keys right. Phone to locks him and says look can you come around I can see my keys right. He went, right? It's just have to look out and he went, well yeah but it doesn't matter, I said I'm going to try it, it's 90 quid. And he went, 90 quid, he went, but I can see the keys he went, yeah I can get it for you. And he went, and my man said, you're going to come round, you're going to try to expert advice and then I asked the neighbor for a bent cut hanger and they went well we call it under quid. Yeah but that's more expensive than locksmith well yeah because you're going to illegal traders. Exactly we've got no license. Yeah we've got a little a little bit more in case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case case we that we that we got that we got that we got in case we got in case we got in case we got in case we got a that we got a that we got a little that we got a bit that we got a little. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that we got. that we got. that we got. that we got. that we got. that we got. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. that. that. that. I. That's what was going on when, you know, the fellow was around the other day fixing the

boiler in the bathroom, just wanted to make sure that he was working on it because it all went quiet in there. He had the door shut, I'm trying to have a little quick, quick sort of peep, seeing if he's doing. I'm just pushing the door, he's like, just pushing the door slowly and he's going, don't come in! It's like, what are you doing? Well, what was he doing? I don't know. But then he's like, three down, probably doing a crossword again. That's what annoys me, the way that, you know, it's all secret, you're not coming in and you hear the odd bang now and again, but this foot just kicked us the throwing, th.... th. th. th. thin, you thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, that, that, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, thoomom, th. It's that, that, the thoom, th. It's th. It's like, their, their, their, their, their, what, what, what, what, th. What, what, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. He th. He th. He, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the that, the that, that, that, the their, that, what is that, what is the that, what that, what th probably sat there crossword, three down, giving it the old, just now and again. With his foot, just kick just annoying.

How much did you charge you? It's just under 90 quid? Yeah. Yeah. And all they said was, you know, give it a bang. If you don't work again, give it a bang. What does that mean? Is that an air block and what is it's. they. they. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the air. the the air. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. th. It's just. th. th threat. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just just just just just. It's just just just just just just just is that complicated. It's not like understanding you know how a fast breeder works or a computer it's a big lump of metal without water in it. How can we not know how that? We're discussing yesterday me and me and Glean we're trying to work at our fridge works.

Right. It's pretty cool. Magic. It is the magic comes down the electricals into the frozen peas. That's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah. I can't still do with the hydrofluoricarbons can exist at much lower temperatures without freezing. So when they're entering the fridge sort of under pressure as they flow around, because the pressure goes down, they take energy from the, the play record. It's perhaps a discussion to have in the air. I still can't figure out, I've never quite understood how a plane stays in the air. It always unnerable to me when I'm in a plane. Turning a tap on, getting water.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Basically going to go, car goes walking. read the other day, if you're dog a big owl, right, started digging, say in wherever, the Trafalgar Square, right, you dig a big old and you keep digging and you go right right out to the other side, so you're somewhere in Australia or something, right? Yeah. And then you go back to, come back again, come back to London, right? Right? Right. So, you're somewhere in Australia or something, right? And then you go back to come back again, come back to London. Right. Stand next to the old, jump in it. Apparently you can jump through the world in 42 minutes. It's interesting.

But then I was thinking, will you fall? And then when you come out the other end, would you fall back again? Well yeah, you would, wouldn't you? What would happen is you'd accelerate 10 meters per second to the center of the earth, but you'd have such inertia, you'd nearly go as far out of the other end, before, it was like a bungee jump, so you'd nearly get as far as the other end, and then you'd go back again, and you'd nearly go as far out of the other end before it was like a bungee jump so you'd nearly get as far as the other end and then you'd go back again and you'd keep going until back and forth getting further and further away from making it until you went did a little

and sort of back and forth in the center. Have you drilled a hole through the end? Have you drilled a hole through the air? Get in touch, email XFNs or Cuttle UK. And just let us know how you got on. Did you get to the other side? Did you get to Australia? Did you buy one of those funny cork hats? Did you see Paul Hogan? How does a fish work? Darkness, growing on me, XFM 104.9, I'm Ricky Jaze with me, Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkington.

I've bored, I lost him, didn't I, I in a little conversation. Yeah, you were talking about quantum physics to be honest. Yeah, I was just explaining what a black hole was, because we were talking like that as well last night. And just halfway through, he just went, yeah, yeah, yeah, and put his headphones on. Yeah, brilliant. Yeah. The thing about Carnes, he speaks with such authority about things that he thinks he knows about. Monkies. And when you try to explain to him about stuff, you know, he thinks, he goes, no, of course ghosts exist.

And you try to explain to him why it's conceivable they don't. Yeah, you did all your learning about 12, didn't you? Yeah, but I'm still picking bits up now. Said without irony! Oh, brilliant! What have you learned recently? Anything interesting recently you learned? Darwin. That's why I was asking you about him. Right. Yeah, Darwin, we're not do you, did you? I don't know what he did. I just read the other day that they've got a treatment for whatever illness they had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had had tho tho. I had tho tho tho tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thatheed, thatheed, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thateea. thate. tho the other day that they've got a treatment for whatever illness they had. I thought that was a bit late. Do you imagine that saying that to his family? What did

Darwin do? What did Darwin do? I don't know? You were just trying to explain it to me, but I'm busy doing stuff, I can't take it all in whilst them sorting the ads out, putting that's his the no. He's in, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is their. Do, is, is their. Do, is their. Do, is their. Do, is their. Do, isn't. Do, I'm not their. Do, I'm not their. Do, I'm not their. Do, I'm not. Do, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, can, I'm not. Do, I'm not. off the knob news. No, but he formulated the theory evolution based on natural selection. Yeah, but wait, wait, do you think that's good? Do you think he's, you know, well done? You're impressed with that? Because you're not impressed with things like, you know, you famously said, Newton, so it's a graphic, but it was already there. If we'd have been floating around, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, you, you'd thi, you'd thi, you'd thi, you'd thi, you'd thi, you're, you're, you're thi, you're thi, you're thi, you're not, you're thi, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's a. You's a. You's a. You're not, you're not, you're not, you're not, you're not thin, you're not thin, you're not th. thin, you're not been a problem we weren't so keep out of it that's what you said you said Einstein I've never used EMC squared in my life but the bloke of the video recorder I watch one a week so I wonder if you're impressed by Darwin formulating I think the most important scientific theory since Newton's laws

as it made a difference? Or whatever he said would it have happened anyway? You can't do that. You're not allowed to say that. You can't say, oh well done, I'd have found it eventually anyway. You can't do that. You've got to give people their Jew, do you know what I mean? But now it's difficult to find out because there's less to find out? Ha! It's not the competition. But on what scale? On what scale? Why the scale? the scale? the scale? the the scale? the the scale? the the scale? the the the the the scale? the the the the the the the the the the their their th. their th. th. th. their their tho? tho? that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is thathea? thathea? that is that is that is that is, tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It's is the. It's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thatea. You's thatea do you mean there's less to find out well now I mean they're bringing stuff out that do you know I mean it's just the iPod well yeah sure didn't see the point in that I the iPod he actually listed the three songs he'd ever want to carry around with him I can't remember they were what are the three songs you'd killing Georgie I'm Georgian, yeah. What else? Probably have Elvis in the ghetto. Right, moving.

Living in the city. Do you know why that? Because that's like a little film to him. That's three songs where there's a little story. He knows the ending. But it's someone singing it to him. A little? Just put them on it.

How many songs? 7,000 times to to to to to to to to to to to to th, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, seven a thousand times sure. Well you don't need to do you? I mean that is like that joke The wish put them imagine putting on seven half thousand you know that joke about you got three wishes It says a never-ending bottle of Guinness and he goes second we should have two more these yeah. Yeah, you don't need to put them on seven and a half thousand times do you? No, you don't need. You don't need th. You don't need th. You don't need th. You don't need th. You don't need th. You don't need th. You don't need the th. You don't need th. You don't need th. You don't need the th. You don't need to put to put the the to put the to put to put the to put the the the the to put to put to put their. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You don't to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the th. You don't the th. You don't th. You don't th. I. th. th. I. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. th. thousand times do you? No, you don't have to. Never mind, Carl, never mind. Answers rushing in we should point out for the quiz. Most of them agreeing that it's pointless. Some people have called it, songs of phrase of course. Some people have referring to it now as songs of arse, which is more than appropriate, but you'll be pleased to know that it's ending this week and next week we've got the return of the even more pitiful rockbusters

for the last one that's back for the last one we'd perhaps also need your petitions to Carl if you want us to stay on the air then you need to petition Carl giving good reasons why he should stay why this show isn't why this show isn't boring or rather why he's thurown you you fell up with? You just fell up with a general liar. I mean you want your Saturdays back do you? It's what a bit of a life back that's all. But you don't do anything with your life when you've gone? Why don't you do this instead of like your day job? Can't it's more important than me day job in it? That's what earns the company money and that I mean. Well I don't. Well I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I don't. Well I don't. What I don't. What I don't. What I don't. What I don't what why don't you do a regular show then, sack someone who's, you know, quite frankly, not putting the way? I don't want to have been there, I did that years ago.

What do you mean? I told you I've done that. to do boxing. Don't take. Don't the place and it was shut and that was it and he said I didn't do it anymore. That's not doing it is it. Boxing, he had a fight with one lad, then the live beat him up and he didn't go again. Oh dear, it's pathetic. Anyway, yeah, so this is basically our penultimate show and next week's the final and we're all all all. th. We're all. We're all. th. We're all. th. th. th. th. th. know, all for one, you know, one for all, all for one. The three musketeers, gone forever. Yeah. I for one I'll be pleased. Oh, I have to get some of these taped because I like coming in

sort of, you know, you know. Incidentally Rick. to last show. People have already nicked him. No I don't know but just take whatever you want. Is that four non-blons is still there? I think it's still there? Because I don't want that to be nicked. Yeah. And I got a thing because I don't think there's any Smiths in the library but there is quite a lot of Gina G. Really? What? What? What was that sciif or si si si si si si si si si si si si si si si si si si si si si? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What is that s that s that s that s that s that s that s that s that s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s- I that si si si si si si si- I that s' that si- I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th? I? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I th? I thi? I thi? I thi? I thi. I thi. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi? I News is on the way, plus the results. This is radio. You've got to keep talking or playing music. Plus music? Yeah. Art of Gold by Neil Young on XFM, 104.

Pop Idol, of course, begins this evening. I know you're looking forward to it really. Yeah, always joys, especially those early rounds with the dims. Yeah, they are always always always always always always always always always always always always are always always always are always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always their their. They're their. They're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. their. their. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the joys, and especially those early rounds with the Dims. The Mentors, yeah. They are always extraordinary. That's the only reason I watch. I mean, I can't be bothered with the later contest. It's just watching the freaks for the first couple of weeks. It's an absolute pleasure.

Yeah, I'm sort of like watching. but they've got their little stick, you know, the special jokes they've obviously written or just waiting to get him in. It's just great. I like the Pete Waterman cries as well. Does he cry? Sometimes if he's moved by it. He's better than bloody Bubby Dazin. Like it, yeah. Rosie Ribbon made him cry. He just wells up and then, that. That's good. I liked. I sort of like him. I don't. the. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I like, it. I like, it. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like th like th like th like th like th like th. I like th like th like tho. I like the the the tho. I like the the the tho. I like the th. I like the the th. I like the the the th. I like the the the th. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like th. I like the. I like the like theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat the. I like the. I like that. He talks a lot of old ass doesn't he, Pete Waterman. I sort of quite like him. I don't know, I find him irritating. Well, it's like he genuinely thinks he's up there with Lennon and McCartney. That's one of the great kind of pop Swengales of his time. Yeah. And you know, I don't know, you wrote songs on there. True, no, no, Dr. Fox is a genius. Obviously he can step in if there's any medical emergencies. Rick Waller, you'll be pleased. Now I'm obviously as you know I'm a huge Rick Waller fan.

Not only has he got a great singing voice, but he's really is a picture. Isn't he? No, I know it's honest with you, it's his own fault. You know, he went in celebrity fit club, he had a chance to sort things out, and his attitude was wrong and he didn't trim down. And he's, for one of a better phrase, a bloater and slightly grotesque. But, you know, he's in the paper this week saying that it was all because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because because he's all because because because he's all because because he's all because because he's all because he's all because of his image he didn't fit the stereotype of what pop star should look like blah blah blah blah he's disgruntled by this he's got a great singing voice but the point is this Rick the point is this

since the days of Elvis since the days of Bing Crosby it's not as as Elvis but no but you're a star because you have to have the whole package the voice yeah yeah the sex appeal to the thi the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the is the is the is the is the is the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their their their the's pop music. That's what pop music is. You know, if you want to be a big fat bloater, you've got at least be as good as Barry White. He isn't. Or Pavarotti. And so anyway, he set up an organization. He's already got a band. So you're saying get over it. The world should revolve around looks. Well no, I'm saying pop music. That's a threat. So, you kind of obsession with he should get a chance you know record no I know but be a session back at big be a backing singer the point is this kid wants to be a star he wants to be a star doesn't he that's the point he doesn't want to sing a to make a couple of records he just wants to be you know that's the real world that actually he's not being true he he he he's not he he's not he he's not he he's not he he's not he he's not he he's not the he he's not he's not the he's not the he's not the he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not the the the he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he he's not he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's not he he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not he's not the the the the th the th th th the th the th the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the and sing well. He wants to be carried round on a sedan chair and adored. Imagine that.

I know. He'd have to have a lot of money to pay for the entourage that can come. Yeah, the four elephants needed. But he's got a company now, he's set up with his dad. It's a management company. And basically he's hoping to break the fickle industry, you know, the the their, of grotesque, if you're a freak of some kind, if you're someone that Carl, you know, would be impressed by or, you know, alarmed by, then you can get in touch with Rick and you can put you in there, women with beards, little midget fellows, whatever, whatever it does not fit the usual norm.

Do we're thinking, the three of us next week. We won't have much to do after next week. You know Ricky's got a bit of a singing voice on him. I'm learning to play Blowing in the Wind on the keyboard by Bob Dylan. It's like a master that. I don't know what you can dance you can dance you know that you've done it you've done dancing so. Exactly. It's like you know donkey. to the thinnkey. to to to dancing. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've thin. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've thin' thin. You've the. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've thi. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. You've th. th. th. Ricky th. Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. the the. Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. thee. Ricky theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea' thii' theeeeeeeeeea' thi' thi' thi's thi's I'm good at that. What were you meant to be playing when you did little donkey in the play? Drums to We Three Kings. But you've just busted live didn't you all? We've done that. We're just talking about looks and stuff. Always. Because, you know, it sort of cheeky freak of the week, we did that and I stopped doing it. Sure. Because it was upsetting the throwne, to to to to to the th. We th. We th. We th. We, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, you, you, you, you, th, th. We're, we're, th, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, the the the th. We're, the the th. We're, th. We're, th. th. th. th. the website the other day about Elephant Man, right? Just keeping up to, you know, upon the news, what's going on there? And they did... Dranking News.

They did a thing about him, and what he'd look like if his head wasn't messed up, and they made a little picture for him. Was he quite a good looking? Not bad looking, but he can't use it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's not, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's not, the the the the the the the the the the th. the their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. It was thi. It was thi.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. their, bad looking, but he can't use it. It's not like, you can't put it on a passport. Sure. Yeah, well, and the fact that he's been dead for several years. No, but they also do that sort of thing for people who are alive, they say, this is what you look like. So you can't use it for that. You can't use it for that. It's sort. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the their. their. the their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. the. th. the th. th use it. Isn't that like rubbing it in though isn't it really? It is a bit. Yeah unless they said good news you were ugly anyway. Yeah. It's me got honest. You wouldn't have pulled it into look if you if you were symmetrical you weren't a looker. You couldn't use on a little date in agency picture. This is what I would have looked like and they'd

I mean what you mean would have looked like? Well I see as we said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good they said they said they said they said they said they said they said they said good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good good they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they'd they'd they'd they said. they'd they'd they'd they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said. they said This is what I would have looked like and they throw it up and I'm in trip, what do you mean would have looked like? Well I see you as we said 7 o'clock, how will I recognize you? I'll be eating buns. Yeah, look for the giant cauliflower. Yeah, yeah, in the coat. Exactly. Get it. I love the fact that you're keeping up, keeping up to date with what the elephant man elephant man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man man might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might might the the the the the the the the with what the elephant man might have looked like. Yeah, exactly. That is amazing. Carl's news is largely what's happening in around 1880. Yeah, yeah, what might have happened around 1880. No, but it's sad though. Did you watch that thing in the week? That what are you staring at?

I didn't know. I couldn't bad about, you know, some of the stuff we talked about and what have you, because they... Can I just say something like, that's quite a nice thing to say, I suddenly felt bad about some of the things we talked about. Should we go over what we've discussed today? What? What? What? their, then you see a program about it and you go, oh.

What, you realise they're real people you're talking about? When do you ever forget that? When do you ever forget that when you bring up these cheeky freaks in the weeks or when we talk about Rick Waller that there's not a real person on the other end? Yeah, but sometimes it's hard because it's they they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's hard because it's hard because it's hard. they's hard because they don't look like real people. Don't slag off Rickwood. That girl was on with a big head. It's like, don't select her. We played some dizzy rascal earlier.

And that was wicked. Exactly, and he's the new kind of, the kind of London rap sensation. But let's not forget credit to the nation from 1994. They're from Birmingham now, Steve. Whatever happened to MC Fusion, you got a lot of bad press at the time, people didn't respect him, but I'm listening to that now, I think it was bloody brilliant. Yeah, and crucial on that. Exactly. Exactly.

Exactly. Charlie's Chambers on XFM 104.9. I'm Ricky Duvay, you're Stephen Merchant and that little bald head and mank over there is Carl Pilkington. Cockiliki Soup? Cockiliki soup is fine. That was one from Nick. Thanks for that, Nick. Yeah. I was referring to the woman who chewed on a knob in a goulash. Exactly. If you just tuned in you've missed that there is still don't know why she was eating goulash. I've got a rash look at my arm, look at that. Brilliant, fascinating, thanks for that. That's from rubbing his head, glitting him in headlock. And have you got some on your hair? Because look that, that's like a heat rash. What are you wash your hair with? What is still got that bird shit behind your, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. th. th. thi. that, that, that, is that, is that, is that, that, is that, that, that, is that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that? That's really worrying, isn't it? It's like how like the body changes over many years of sort of certain things. It's like your body

changes to protect yourself from the sun and what have you? My head, just got you used to being rubbed. Yeah. It's reacting now. Oh, it's that's a defense mechanism, right? I see. Look at that. That's horrible horrible. Anyway, um, you've got someone on your air, you know? Monkey News? Well, it's gonna say, the winner. I don't think anyone cares. Oh, come on. Someone got all of them, didn't they? Well, okay, play it again, then. This was songs of phrase. We did the same. The well known phrase is Galileo. Stop talking about science. The most convoluted, please television.

The most convoluted, banal quiz on any radio station ever. I mean, I'm including Moyles, Chris Evans, do you know what I mean? Simon Bates, that's worse than anything they ever did. Apparently Channel 5 report the right. Anyway, what the answer is Cole? We had Queen in there. Altadimages. Thomas Dolby.

Yeah. Beatles, Marita Franklin and Redock Chilipe. Well extraordinarily Tracy and John Burton from Colchester and Essex got all of those right. Why they would want the prices I have no idea but good luck to them they can enjoy those at some points. God bless. Okay monkey news. Do you want a bit? Yes please. Please. Jingle. This rash is weird. Oh chimpanzee that monkey news. All right that we're filming a documentary, right? This tele company. Do you know a documentary? Which one? Which one? Which one?

I don't know. No, right. What was the documentary about? Yeah? Where was it? Where was it? Where was it? Where was it? I haven't got a date? Okay. Recently though, the advert in television obviously. Yeah, yeah. Actually, a bit of extra monkey news if you want it. Okay, always. Do you know the... Monkey News Extra? Go on. Do you know the Halfords ads? Halfords. I don't think so know. What happens? Halfords? They've, you know, they sell nuts and bolts and stuff. Right. They were using monkeys in the ads. Okay. Um...

Yeah. And what happened? Don't they sell bikes, Alfred's? Well, mainly. Bicycles and motorbike stuff in that. Okay, so, yeah, so they're using monkeys in the ad. What? I can't do this. Look at him. Look at him. I don't care what he's doing. And it was basically right, they've, they, there was a load of

assel because they were using these monkeys in this alphetadvert. Yes. And what happened? Get to the point? It turned out there wasn't a problem because they were mechanics in the first place. What are you talking about? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What is? What? What? What? What is? What is? What is? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Is? Is? Is? Is? What? Is? Is? Is? What? What? Is? What? What? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? Is? What? Is? Is, the. What? Is, the. What? Is, the. What? Is, the. What? Is, the. What? the. What? the. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What they were mechanics in the first place. Well, they were monkey mechanics? Yeah. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Well, anyway, listen, let's get back on to it. There were mechanics in the first place. All right, so they're making this documentary. Right?

And they stumbled across a little gang of, a little gang of, a! Get on with it, please. Little Ganga Monkeys. That's the first time I have laughed, don't hear that. I know, well brilliant, what do you want a cake? Come on! Can we play a song? Oh, I don't understand what is wrong with you, you freak. It's making me laugh.

Tell us the story. All right. So anyway, right, so this this documentary documentary documentary, this documentary, this documentary, this documentary, this documentary, this documentary, this documentary, this documentary, this documentary, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document, this document us the story. All right, then, alright. So anyway, right, so there's this documentary being made, they found a little gang of monkeys. Right, play a song, I don't know what's going on here, I apologize. Got a hide you love away, according to the Beatles on XFM, 104.9, I'm looking at you as with me, Steve Merckley, Mookie News. Right, Carl, come on. Where were we? Where were we? Everyone's composed. The jingle, please. Oh, chimpanzee that, monkey news. Excellent.

Okay. Right, where were we? We would just start again. There's some people making a documentary. For what? Okay. For the took a documentary in a jungle on that. Right.

Stumble across a little gang. Okay, come on. All right. A little gang of monkeys? Yeah. Come on. So the camera crew are there filming it. Yes. Everything is going normal. Nothing odd about it. Okay. They're not running a restaurant, they've not got any barber shops, nothing. No. Just regular monkeys go about the business. Yeah. So anyway. Uh, what normally happens is regular monkeys go about the business, yeah. So anyway, what normally happens is the monkeys stick with the partner. They don't sort of sleep around and that. Once they find the girlfriend or whatever, they stick with them right. But anyway, they were watching this one, right? And it's going around a bit, sleeping around. And it was getting fatter, they thought this is a bit it's going around a bit sleeping around oily and it was

getting fatter they thought this is a bit odd yeah right so followed it round and see it having it away turns out little prostitute it was getting fatter because it was charging them bananas oh god it's a little monkey prostitute it was getting fatatter because it was charging him bananas. What load of all rabbits? What was it? A boy or... it was a woman, monkey.

That's the most extraordinary monkey news I've ever heard. That is genius! Has this documentary been televised? I don't think it's been on yet. And that's all the information you've got? Yeah. And is that, that's one banana for everything? Now half a banana is for a poor job. Right. If you want full-blown monkey sex it is two and a half and honest. Sure. Let's just play a song. Oh cool. It's just great. All right. Well this is our

penultimate show which we're back next week. We're going to make it a barnstorm where I'm sure lads. I want 100% percent behind it, 110% next week. All right, none of this giggling, no this infantile giggling, like two schoolboys. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. It. Well, th. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. th. th infantile giggling, like two schoolboys. All right, we're going to come back, we're going to have some quality monkey news next week, we're going to have all kinds of treats I would have thought. Some great prizes, alright? Okay? Yeah, we'll have a have it. Let's make it the best show ever. Good luck.

If you're, today, thoing, to the to the the the to the the the the today, today, today, today, to' to' the a thea' thea' thea' to' to' to' to' too' too' thea' thea' to to to thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' tha' tho. We're tho. We're twea' t, we're t, we're t, we're t, we're t, we're t, we're t, we're tin. Play that. Start playing. Forget Start Chopping. Start playing. All right. See you next week. Yeah.