The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S2E8 (October 12, 2002)

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

Series two of the podcast began on 28 February 2006. It consisted of 6 episodes with the final one released on 4 April 2006. The series saw the return of Karl's Diary and Rockbusters. A new (though short-lived; it was only presented in the first episode) feature was also introduced in order to replace Pilkington's "Monkey News", called "Real Monkey News", where Gervais attempts to present facts about chimpanzees which are factual and scientific.With the start of series two, the formerly free Ricky Gervais Show shifted to a pay model – and as a result the show is now classified as an audiobook. It is available through Audible and the iTunes Store with individual episodes. The reason for this addition, according to Ricky on the podcast, is because The Guardian agreed to pay for the bandwidth for 12 episodes, and any more extra episodes would have to be paid for out of their personal finances.

Strokes, someday. I'm already annoyed. I've been in a three minute and I'm already annoyed. Yeah, I bring back Claire, I'll tell you. No, it's not his fault. It's the whole place. The library's shite. I tried to get... Oh, God. I had to go to Capital Library. Oh, chill. That's that. I had to go to Capital Library to get a couple of records I wanted, right? Places falling apart, the email is not working, it's so shoddy, he's had two weeks off, hmmm an hour day. I mean they, I really, they might as well bulldoze this, honestly, because for all that, you know, it is new question. And we get paid peanuts. You get paid you. You get paid you? Oh, and it really annoys me.

Just calm down. noise with they have to fight anyway XFN 1.409 I'm Ricky Joveys with me Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkis and Carl you're back. How was it? What the holiday? Yeah well it wasn't all fun was it? Because my dad was in hospital. Was he? the holiday though was he? the holiday was he? the holiday then found out in you? Yeah but it happened when I was on holiday. Did you know that tho?'re on a l'oe no, because I didn't take me phone with me. But the real thing is, I got a feeling. When I was sat there, because it normally happens. When I first went to a new speech was it? When I first went, I was with a fellow with his packet out.

When I went to a bea fea, I had a feeling, what do you mean? Just like, oh I should call home, there's something not right. Mmm. But this is a very specific feeling? How did that, how did that make it? How did that, how did that make it? How does that, how did it? How does it, how does it? What, how do you know, Rick, I'm pretty serious. Yeah, sure.

You know what this radio business to me. You know, you've hooked them already. Indeed, yeah. Yeah. Well, also I'm thinking, we and you know the whole thing is the whole set up it was raining today I thought I should have a cabin you know at then the sun came out so I walked in again. Ah dear. How are you? But I'll tell you what I've got a bit of criticized last week I only played ballads and same songs I'm gonna rock out. I'm the the the the the the the the th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the. I've the. I've to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea' the. I've theto rock out this week. I've been to have the Capitol Library to get some good tunes and what about a little bit of ACDC?

Oh, shook me all night long. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Well, I should have cheered me. Yeah. that's a good. rock out today? There, well yeah. A bit of a lead set maybe, stones. Brilliant, yeah, some of the classics. Yeah, when are we going to talk about Carl?

Well we read out of stuff already? Okay, let's go. Okay, now, yeah. So where did you go, Carl? What was the story? It was my birthday, right? It was my birthday, right? Right? Went home after don't you have birthdays. I'll say, well there's no point. Well, exactly chaos leads that way. Yeah. Right. So, uh. No. Anamak. It's never has been. So anyway, she was kept going on and it was deeming. So I said, all right. I'll open it. So I opened it, the it. T it. T it. T it. T the ticket. T ticket. T. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. Ticket. T. T. T. T. T. T. Ticket. Tic. Ticket. T. T. Well. Well. Well. Well, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, ticket. Well, ticket. ticket. ticket. ticket. ticket. ticket. ticket. ticket. ticket. ticket. ticket. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, holiday to one of the Canary Islands. So... And what was your reaction? I mean... First one was we haven't got enough money for this, but I didn't want to ruin it. So I didn't go on about that and I said, oh it'd be great so I can't wait. So I can't wait. So did he say in that tone of voice? Well it was good timing because it was tired and everything and I'm not a big holiday fan but the timing was right.

Do you know what I mean? It's the same as last night. I don't always like a curry but last night you're in the mood. You get that sort of, oh yeah. Curry, you had a feel, you had a feeling. Yeah, yeah. And then lo and behold like are you like are you. It's weird. It's weird and it's weird. And it, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, and they, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, you, I that, you're, you're that, you, you're, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, you, I, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're that, you're that, you're that, you're th. It's like, you're th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You get, you get, you get, you get, So anyway, right? The island, if it was almost you were here, I'd probably say it's a bit barren. Okay. Not much there, but if you get a hotel, but if you get a hotel, but the weather's always good weather, right? Are you? No, what I mean is, it'll be a good holiday. If you get a hotel, right, the weather's always good, so you good, so you'll have a nice time. It was a comma, yeah, was it? Um, and all that, and the food was all right, and everything was going all right, I was just having a nice relaxing time.

And how do you sort of spend your time on the holiday? You just lie around? I bought a book. Yeah, and the book? the ghosts?. No, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. And everything. And everything. And everything. And everything. And everything. And everything. And everything. And everything. And everything. And everything. And everything. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, everything was everything was everything was everything was everything was everything was everything was everything was everything. And, everything. And, everything. And, right? It was like, no, it was about like special days in our time and time before me and stuff. And it was like, it was telling you about how in, I think it was 1814, the Thames frozen up. And all these stories are to told by eyewitnesses, right? So there's some fellow who was around in 1814 and the Thames was frozen and people used to put market stores on there and the their and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and their, and their, and time, and time, and time, and time, and their, and time, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, times, times, times, times, times, times, times, time, time, time, time time time time time time time time time time times, times, times, the Thames was frozen and people used to put market

stores on there and they'd do the shopping it was like it was like an Oxford Street. Was that mad liar Charlie? No because he's famous for that. Yeah I'm sure you know I think that was mad liar Charlie. So I was reading that and then after a couple of days was a bit like or boring yeah you can only do so much lying around so much reading so so so so so so so the so so the so the so the so the so the so the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. So I I I they. So I they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I'm they. I'm the they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was they. I was the they. So, uh, let's go on the beach, have a walk. You haven't gone on the beach. Where have you been up to this point then, in your room? No, just like around the pill, just relaxing and having a swim and that. So, sure, let's go on the beach.

So, uh, wandered down to the beach. And first impressions, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thi, that, that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that, impressions are yeah it's all right it's clean so your criteria is slow basing is brilliant hotel yes roof good food adequate beach clean next so I'm walking along and everything's good and you know there's a woman feeding fish bread which I thought that's different. I love that. He loves a bit of originality. He loves a bit of originality. This woman was there like up to her up to an easing water. And she was stood there, chucking there. Chuck in this bread and I thought what's she doing? And I stood there and watched for a minute and there was little fish coming up, I'm in the bread. I thought, I know. So he's right. Carried on walking. And

uh, everything's going well. Everything's going well. And then this fella comes walking towards me. Everything's going well. Everything's going well well. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. And there. And there. And there. And I's there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there there. And I. And I there. And I there. And I there. And I there. And I there. And I there. And I there. And I there. And I there. And I there. And I was there. And I was there. And I was there. And I was there. And I was there's there's there's there's there's there's th. And I was there's tho. And I was there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's boy he's only got no pants on oh oh oh so I said Suzanne what's going on I'm sorry sorry this is really bad like she knows more than thank you so she said oh yeah yeah it's a new this is a long story can you to punts a long story can you can you pull that coffee over sorry sorry sorry this is really this is really because it's one. Thank you. Just amuse yourselves while we stop the coffee. Thank you very much. Do you want. I have a cup of coffee, can't. Thanks. Yeah. Cheers. D-Di-Di-doh. Right. Do it. Okay. So, great. So, she said, yeah, it's a nudist speech. So I said, well, they're all mixed, me. It's all mixed up. the speech. It's a. It's a. It's a nude speech. It's a. It's a the speech speech speech. It's a the speech speech. It's a the speech. the speech. the speech. the speech. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I. I'll. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I have. I'm t. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. I have. we're all mixed, it's all mixed up.

Normally on a nudist beach. It's a nudist beach, you don't go wandering on there when you get clothes on and that. So it annoyed me a bit because it wasn't any signs. So this fella's getting closer. Well the knob out was a sign. Yeah, right, so he's getting closer. And he walked past me, it was an old fella, and he walked past and he had a hat on a little pipe and a big rucksack on his back. Right so he got me thinking I'm walking along and I'm thinking right why do people want to do this so straight away it was I wasn't on holiday anymore because most of time when I'm on holiday I don't think about anything right your mind's a blank I just switched off right all of a sudden this this has got this this this this this this this this this this this this this th this th this th this this th th th this th th this th th holiday I don't think about anything right? Your mind's a blank. I just switched off.

Right? But all of a sudden this has got in my head now and I turned around to look at him and check out his eyes. And the bag, and this bag right I swear. It was a ball sack. What? You're a massive bag? The bag. He's rucks right. OK. When I said he said, I was was was was the the the the the the th. th. th. th. I was was was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was I was I was I was th. th. th. th. th. th. I was. th. I was. I was. thoed. th. thoed. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I just. I just. I just. I just. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. th. th. This. This. This. This. This. And th. This. This. And th. This. That's. That's. That's. That's. It was. That's. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. And th. It's. And th. And th. It's. It's. It's. massive bag? The bag? He's a rucks. Oh right, okay. When I said, he said there's an old couple coming towards me and I said, what was lower? The bloke's bollocks or the woman's ticks and he said, well that was another point.

She might as well I might as well. Because you might as well. Because you're never saying that's what he said to me before. So you're the the so so annoying so annoying so annoying so annoying so you're so you're so annoying so you're so annoying. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So you're so. So, so. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the, right? Might be wrong. Chances are there. You never have been before. Being nudist, right? What's it all about? I'll tell you, on that point, Carl, let's play a tune, let's come back and we'll discuss we'll discuss that very issue. We have, we've got some ideas, we did chat about this last week in your absence. All right. Well, we'll the the well we'll the th. We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thathe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What's it, th. What's it, th. What's th. What's, th. What's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's th. What's. What's. What's. What's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What's, what's that. What's that. What's it's it's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. What's it's it's one, this. Yeah. Coral, dreaming of you. On XFM, 104.9, Rickage of Ayes with me, Steve Merchant and Carl Pilkin, too. If you just joined us, Carl is walking down the beach and a man has just passed him with his knob out.

Yeah, his testicles out and is a huge, huge bag apparently. Now, we're going to, we sum sum sum sum sum sum sum sum sum sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we sum we're going to sum this up you know because we did talk about last week you know you did you did call me and tell me some of these things and we we sort of mentioned it last week but you just want to say you'll just give us your thoughts on nudity. Well what I don't understand is right? Nudity I thought it was all about you know sort of being free. Yeah natural letting the breeze blow thu thr-in thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu-up, thu-up, thu-upi, thus, thus, thu-up, thu-up, thu-up, thu-up, thu-upy, thu-upy, thu-upy, thu-up, the the the the the the thu, the the thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-s, thi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-y-s, thu-y-s, thu-y-y-y-y-s, thu and that that's all I can think of like the bonus of doing it but you can get that by just having a pair of shorts on right because I'm not one for getting me kit off it's just something a bit weird about it in that normally if I go for a walk on the beach I'll I'll put a shirt on sure but leave it unbuttoned yeah

oh well yeah yeah but it just feels a bit weird. So it's best to cover you back anyway because the sun and all that. But when I saw him and I thought, well right, is he doing it to sort of be free and be comfy and all that? And then I thought, but he's carrying a big bag. I've got a pair of shorts on the the sh sh sh- I'm the the the th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm the th. I'm the the th. I've the th. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like th. their their th. th. th. their the th- I'm th- I'm th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm teeat. I'm teat. I'm te. I've te. I've te. I'm te. te. I'm te. I'm t. I'm t. I've got a pair of shorts on and I'm not looking at him thinking I bet he's really comfy. Do you know what I mean? I wasn't going, I can't wait to get home and get my shorts off. They're really annoying me these. So, and that's just it. I don't get what it's all about. Sure. Well um, okay. Well, my advice to you is don't, don't, don't go to nudity speeches again. Well, I didn't, I didn't go again. Do you play volleyball? Nope. Well, there's nothing in it for you, to be honest, Carl. Do you ever walk around the house nude?

Not really, only if like, it's quickly to sort of jump living on a high street this flats right across the way looking in and the thing is it's a little trys fella is a little exactly and there was the other one that went is he the old woman reading a book yeah it could be dead for all we know there's some bounces I think so yeah is that euphemism there's always there's always there's always... Who names Carol? But, yeah, the only time, if I nip out, sort of get out of bed at night, go and get an orange, I've still got to be careful because if they're awake and I open the fridge door and the light comes up. Yeah, they'll sort of see the light.

And the shadow. And the weird, long, stretchy shadow. Why do you have, I haven't orange squash? You know, Robinson's. You can't advertise on. Why don't you take a glass of that to bed? Why are you getting out? Yeah. Because whenever I do that, I normally don't wake up and it's a waste, isn't it? The man is a genius.

Well, continuing our rocking out thing. Well, I think this sums up rock and roll doesn't it? It's not called rock and roll is it? Textbook. Play, the scientist. Do you think that's about you, Carl? What happened there with all that rubbish pressing the wrong thing going out on that? Don't want to go, I've sorted it now. It doesn't matter. Right. You've come back. You're not focused, Carl. That's what concerns me. Your mind's on other things. I'm alright now though. You're ready to go. Yeah. You're sure? Okay. This is, oh, I just... I'll tell you what, right? I'll tell you I'll focus down. Right. Got some. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Go on. Well. Did you do any. Did you. Did the th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm all all all all all all all. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. DVD? Did we? Yeah, we did, we did, we did. Yeah, go on, anyway. I've thoughts on, uh...

This isn't like radio, is it, as we know it? This is just people talking. If the mic's on, it's luck. If anyone's listening, I've, you know, I've no idea what to change with that card. Because a show suggests a certain form of presentation, a certain pride. And when we do present it, and don't I say it's some planning. Yeah, and when we do, it's ruined by impressing the wrong button. Yeah. But I've got some planning here. Go on then. What I did was when it was on holiday, right? You said, you know, come up with a new idea, right? So the best way of coming the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way their their their their their their their their their their. their. their, you're, you're, you're their, you're, you're their, it's to their, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, their, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to to to to to, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I I, I, I... Yeah, I, I, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I, I. Yeah, I, I, I'm, th. Yeah, I'm, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. of nicking a TV show name and then twisting it a bit yeah so or just rip off Simon Mayo's idea completely that's good advice for anyone out there I didn't yeah yeah yeah you're

interested in ideas the car is presently running a course right in for TV and that's that's the lesson one isn't it just just a little idea change the title slightly yeah go on this one I thi tho-I the the th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm just just just just just just just just just th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. So thi. thi. So thi. So th and change the title slightly yeah go on this one I haven't really got I don't know what to do on the game but I'm thinking strike it Ricky that's all you've got that's what you've come up I'm how long did that what is that I just saw it sound a bit like lucky forget that one then yeah yeah forget that one okay yeah no no we all have hit some even Spilbergs the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is thin thin thin thin the the the the to the the thin the thin the the thin the tho thin tho thin thin th th Forget that one then. Yeah, forget that one. Okay, no, no, no, we all have we all have hit somebody. Even Spielberg's, not all his films, you know, couldn't it hit the, go on? Remember, big brother? Yeah. Do I remember whether, no, go on. Big mother, right? You call in, if your ma'am's ever you win a CD. What do you mean? How can you print that? Right, so you got that? Right, here

here's one. He are? Good one, no. No, no. The price is right, remember that? Yeah. Right. The price is Ricky? No? The rice is right. And what I do, I read from an Indian menu and a Chinese menu, you tell me whether you have pilau or egg fried. He's a genius, hany. He really is a modern... Go on and go on, let's go into the... Let's not cross itself right away. Go on then, what do you read from what? Well, I've got, I'll get a couple of menus from like an Indian or a Chinese takeaway. Yeah and I'll go like right oh chicken corma. Well could I just suggest that as it's an Indian it will be pilao and anything you read out

that is... Yeah but you don't know which one I'm reading from. What the chicken corn is Indian isn't it? Yeah so you go pilao but then you might as well say Indian or Chinese? No because then the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the chicken. the chicken. the chicken. the chicken. the chicken. I I the chicken. the chicken. I the chicken. the chicken. the chicken. the chicken. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti. ti. ti. ti. tri. tri. ti. tri. ti. ti. tri. ti. tha. I. might as well say Indian or Chinese no because then the name wouldn't work the rice is right okay yeah I forgot you's working for the title backwards aren't you okay yeah I'm so confused I don't know who I am well what what what day it is? I go a program that they've been in on channel four right right could you cross that out? We're not doing the rights is right either. I don't understand the rights is right. No, go on. I'll tell you that later, we'll have a game in the office, right? A game that they're binning on Channel 4, but has got really big viewing it.

Well, obviously not. Right. Do you know 15 to one one? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. We. We. We'. We'. We'. We' th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll the the the the the the the the game. We'll the game. We'll the game. We'll the game. We'll the game. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll th. We'll the. We'll the. We'll have the. We'll have thea. We'll have the in Taiwan, right? Get 15 items and I say what they are and then you go oh I bet it's the vase or something. That's one that's made in Taiwan. Yeah. Just explain that again very quickly. No don't go. I forget that. Forget that. Cross it out. 15 Taiwan. Right. This is the one that I've prepared for, because I think this is this is not daft. This is good. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. I. I. I. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the. Right. This is the one that I've prepared for because I think this is this is not this is good. Let's play a tune in this here after them. I'm very excited. Are we going to play it after that or are we going to say that. No you can explain it after you. I'm

very excited. Good to hear that again and it's a friend. Oh, fantastic. Waiting on a friend by the Rolling Stones. Yeah? Go on then, Carl. On XFM, 104.9, looking to raise Stephen Merchant Carlton. Go on. Right, this one, remember Bob Olmstus, remember, remember Bob Olnes, she used to give you a letter? And it'd give you a question, and the answer to that question is that letter.

Right, well it works like that. So if I said to you, you know, we'll tou set out in you Steve, right? Right, welcome to the show on that. Hello. Let's play. Right, and I say, right, your first one is W. And the cryptic clue, because it's it it it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's the cryptic clue, because it's done like crosswords. So not quite like blockbusters. This young man prepared for his death. And it's a W, so the answer.

And it's not always going to be like our sort of music, it can be any sort of music that's out there. So the W is the name of the answer. I understand that, but is the answer always the band name or is it it's always the band name is it or the artist? Yeah. And so would the W be the surname or would you have both the initials if it was someone's name? Would Elvis Presley be EP?

Don't get annoyed, these are these are questions that I knew would be asked. I know this you've tested on me so you've got to tell him. This is the point. If it was Elvis I'd probably do E. No, no, give him the answer. Give him the answer. Did you hear the clue? No, give me the clue again then. So the letter is W. It is a W.

It's a W. The clue is this young man prepared for his death. And it's a W and it's his first name. That's what he needs. Well see that's the, yeah. Yeah, but I don't... Well, shouldn't we have the initials? Wouldn't that make it easier? Yeah, but they didn't do that on blockbusters. It just had one letter. They did. They did if it was a gold they often had a three or four. Did they? Well, yeah? Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, yeah? Well, yeah? Well, yeah? Well, they? Well, they? Well, they? Well, they? Well, they? Well, they? Well, they? Well, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, th, th, th. Well. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the. Well, th. Well, something. All right then. W-W-Y. W-Y. Will Young. Excellent.

I didn't understand it. What was this young man? So we sort of make, mixed sort of cryptic. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's a good effort. That's better than usual. So should you want to play, let's play rockbusters? Yeah, rockbusters. So many of these have you got? No, because just just, just, just, do we, be, be, let's just, just, just clarify a couple of rules here, Carl. Let's just make sure we thought everything through.

Because I'm pretty certain when they get these things on TV, they at least have a go at the thrown, they'll at least their their that least that least that least that... that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. The a that. Thea. that. that. that. that. that. Let's just that. Let's just that. Let's just th. Let's just th. Let's just th. Let's just, let's just just just, let's just just just just just just just just just just just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's. Let. Let. Let. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's just. Let's just. Let's just. Let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's just, let's have a go. I'm sure they give me a preparation so let's just check we've got every base coverage. Firstly how many questions have they got I tell you right? Let's do this off air then should we play a great tune? Well yeah well people need to call in don't we because we're doing it aren't we? Yeah it'll be all right and there's good stuff there's there's I've got some compilation stuff and a couple of videos and that, so that's what they're playing for. Call up now, oh eight, seven hundred, one, two, three, four, get them on the air, play the game. Brilliant.

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Is that what we're doing? A bit of the cure? B. Right. That's from that cure greatest tits compilation. I'm going to have a heart attack. You get an extra bonus CD on certain copies and that's

an acoustic version of Just Like Heaven, fantastic. He hasn't thought it through. I know. We've just spent three and a half minutes trying to figure out the rules. Yeah, right. We've got it now. I'm sorry for people to call in the lines. The lines are going to to the the lines. the lines. the lines. the lines. the lines. the lines. the lines. Yeah. the lines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the lines. the lines. Yeah. the lines. the lines. th. the lines, th. th. I, th. I, th. I, the lines, the lines, I's, th. I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I. I, I's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm t. I'm t. I'm going, t. I'm going, toge. I'm going, toge. I'm going, toge. I'm going, toge. I'm going, toge. I'm going, t. I'm going, what we're going to do an ad break. We're just going to figure out how to play the game. We're going to get two people on there and we're going to play it. So XFM and that. What's going on? I don't know. The adverts aren't working today and I don't... I'm having to get an engineering as well. Wait, don't play the adverts. I don't want to get an engineering as well. Wait, don't play the adverts. I don't want to play them anyway. Don't play them. It's not our thought if it doesn't work. Why? Do you realize if we were like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I to, I to to to get, I to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to, don't play the adverts. I don't want to play them anyway. Don't play them. It's not awful. If it doesn't work. Why? Do you realise if we were like live,

we'd be heckled off the stage? Right, wait, wait, wait, we wouldn't survive in the real rule. I'll sort that out. Right, right, get the people on the air now. No. Rick, calm down down. Clare record then. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare, then. Clare. Clare. Clare. Clare, then. Clare, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Cl, then. Clare, then. Clare, then. Clare, then. then. then. then. then. then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. then, th. then, I'm... Okay, I'm up. Okay. The true, pulp. Good news and bad news. Bad news is we have got enough callers to play Carl's game. The good news is we don't have to pay any more adverts in this show. So, uh, if it doesn't work, sod it.

Right, who have you got on the line, Carl? Sam. Now let's just remind ourselves, what's the game? It's rockbusters. Okay, now calm down, Carl. I know you're a bit stressed, you've got a lot to do, but don't worry, you've just had a holiday. Throw this desk out. Let's just th've grown to love. Okay, all right. Sam.

Hello. Is it sounding all right today? It is. Just about. All right, today. Cheers. Sam's worse. All right, Sam. that's Sam. So we've got Sam. So we've got Tim. So we've got Tim. You sound quite similar lads. Could one of you affect an accent or something? Which one's Tim? Yeah, it's me. Okay, which one's Sam?

It's slightly deeper. It's slightly deeper. And they're not against the clock anyway, are they? So it doesn't really matter? I suppose. I think Steve just wanted a bit of variety. You, uh, okay. You understand the rule, the rule, thanks. Could you explain the rule, to the rule, the rule, the rule, the rule, th. the rule, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. to, the the to, the to, to, the to, the the to, to, thin, to the to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, to sound, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho. S so their, the to tho. Some. Some. Sa. Sa. Sa, too, too, too, to too. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. Some. on, wait, wait, let me explain because I mean life is too short. Now, Carl's going to read out, say, three clues, yeah, and just shout your own name and answer it or shout the answer. Shout your own name, then the answer if you know, and it's the person who gets the most right. Okay, is that all right? So, um, here we go then. Shouldn't it be the first of three? the the thah. thah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. C. th. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. C. C. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th go then. Okay then. Shouldn't it be the first of three? Well, yeah, but then he hasn't got.

Yeah, I've got enough, it's fine. He's got no food for that. Right then, here we go. Welcome to the show. Oh, God. Right. Uh, first initials, S-T. right? Is that right? Well I don't know, we don't know, do we? How do we know? Here we go, ST and the cryptic clue is better than the average homeless person.

Okay? Sorry, I think, is that a band? Is it an old band? Yeah. I think that's one word. All right then, S. It's an old 70s band, better than the average homeless person. Tim, go on. Super tramp, yes. Yes, well done, 1.2 to 2. Well, I'm not, well that's right by the way. You don't know, you don't understand why it's right.

It's a super tramp. Oh right. Better than the as a good clue. Because, yeah, okay. We won't do this again. Right, he won't do it to do. Right, here we go. Right. The letter is F, that's the next one we're moving on to.

And the cryptic clue is. The little is, the little is, the little is, the little, the little, what the little, what the little, what is, what is, what the little. I've got it. F. F. F. Feder. Yes. One all. Feed her. He's pulled out of it. Yeah. Feed her. Yeah. So that's one each.

So this is the decider, isn't it? Wait a minute. I see you're on the phone. Well, you said first the three clues new gets the most okay well we can do that now so here we go I love this this is rubbish go on so here's is the last one the initials are AK right and the cryptic clue is exploding pet say shout out your name if you know it. Last order to the bar please. Last orders at the bar. Exploding Pet. A.K. You're tuned to XFM. 409, Carl Perkinson's quiz, rockbusters. The format is still available.

The highest bidder. Please give us a call or you can email on Ricky.Javise at XFM. the UK. Is it a band or a singer? It's, I'll give you a bit more of a clue, it's a pop band, okay? We wouldn't have... No, it's on the kitchen. Yes! This is amazing radio. So, who was that the one? That was Sam.

So it's two one. He wins some CDs and some videos. No, he's got to... And uh... and obviously now Sam, if you're ready, take the spot, you're gonna do the gold run. Away you go, Carl. I haven't got any more. You're a fool. Right, stay on the line, we're giving both some presents. Play a record, I'm just... Rick, I'm gonna shut off. Ha ha ha! then! then! FEDA, come back around, he's getting all stressed again.

You know we've only done an hour. I know, I'll tell you what, this seems like free. I know, I don't know what it seems like to the, you know, the listeners. I say, I'll tell you this, I'm not try to be disrespectful, Carl, but I think maybe someone else should come in and press the buttons. Because I'm not sure you're across it. I don't think you can concentrate on talking and working at the same time. I'm not sure you can walk. Yeah. For you it seems like... I don't say that. Look, he's gutted. No, it's a lot of gone wrong here. I say throw this desk out and get a real one. I think there's a fisher price when you can buy in.

. There. There. There. There the fish. There the fish. There the fish. There the fish. There they. There th. There th. There th. There th. There there. There there. There there. There there. There there. There there. There there. There there. There there. There's there. There's there. There's there's there's th. There's th. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There. There. There. There there. There there. There there. There there. There there. There there. There there. there. there. there. there. there. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. th. to. to. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th stunned because it was second hand, this one. But this is like the mere space station. I mean it really is falling apart. Get a new one in. Let's not, you know, oh, I can't believe it. Get the, I mean look at the, look at the library. Look, look at the gaps in the library. Let's not going about this because this isn't? Whereas that was good radio. You can join in and stuff. But you're pardon Miss Carl, why do you rush to do it?

I told you before we should practice these things. Although to be fair, Steve, I can't, I haven't got time to do anything so at least. At least Carl's coming up with stuff. But I don't mind, you've got another out of it, have you got anything at all? I've got that feature educating Ricky which is a bit of play on words as well. Right? Do you know the film Steve? Educating Rita? Yeah. I see what we've done. I see what do you teach Ricky stuff? What do you teach me Carl? Well I've got a few different topics? Do you know like how you taught me about Hitler and Shea Gavara and Winston Churchill I'm going to come in with topics every week and this week I've got ghosts. No, hanging bacon is one of the topics.

Say that again? Hanging bacon. Hanging bacon? All the title. All the titles are sort of named to sort of make, sort of tease and get you more interested in it. Hanging bacon, well you certainly intrigued. What's another title one? Hairy Chinese kid. I'm going to go for that one. If there was a university degree with that title.

Yeah, now I'm going to go for hairy Chinese kid. I'm the final one. Alien gives man a beard. Right, alien gives man a beard. I'm going to embarrass. I am going to embarrass. Right, listen, Carl, you've got to tell me, right, let's do it in reverse. No, we're not going to do it now anyway. What do you mean you?

We've got to do it now. I mean, that's the first interesting thing you've said in an hour, okay? The listeners have just been subjected to rubbish, to everything for the last six months. Please we've got to do Alien gives man a beard. What is that? Tell us that? Right. Sorry, this is just you telling me something, is it? This feature is you telling me something. We're teaching you something, educating Ricky.

So are we playing it now? We're already into this feature, well into this feature, are we? Yeah, I suppose we are th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, thi. thi. thi. tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to toeea. toea. to toea. toea. thea. thea. thea. thea. this feature well into this feature are we? Yeah I suppose we are here. Should they not be a jingle? Yeah can we have a jingle? Well it's no point because look I come up with ideas and you dismiss them straight away so I'm not wasting me time making stuff. Right well okay let's play educating Ricky. Right, brilliant go right. What what what they? the the they, the they, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the things, things, things, things, the things, the the the the the the the the the the the things, things, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thing, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, things, the the things, they.. the they. things, they. the the the the the they.. the the the the the the the the the the the the things-al-ding, ding-ling, l'i-ling, Educating Ricky. Right, what are we going for then? Ang in the bacon, airy Chinese kid, Alien gives man a billion. I think Alien gives man a billion all the time. Right, there's this fellow, I think it happened in America. And he saw a bright light in the sky. And he saw this bright light and it came closer and closer

and it was a UFO right? And he looked at it and it disappeared right? And he gets back in the the mirror. And he looks in the mirror. He's only got a beard. Yes. I can't. It wasn't someone else who he got in the car and he was still standing out there. Right. And it turned out, he got home and said to his wife or his girlfriend, it's a bit weird. So I just got out of the car to look at a bright light and I got back in the car and I grew a beard and she said, never mind your beard, where have you been for three days? And what had happened is... He passed out because he was pissed? No. The UFO had taken him for three days.

But he'd only thought that he'd only looked at it and it went away. But what had happened is, it took him and he grew a beard because he hasn't had a shave. Right, okay. I mean, was Will Smith or Tomley Jones anything to do with this at all? Did you see this on a video maybe and thought it was an educational film? No, it's from a book that some kind person sent in to me here. Can I just ask again, just again, I'm just thrown this right back at you? Do you think there's any other possible answer here? A man is absent for three days from home. The length of time that it could take to grow a beard lest we forget, what if he

had actually seen a bright light in the sky? What if he was lying? He was drunk? He got knocked unconscious, he'd had a car crash. Just lying. Or he was just lying? Yeah, he'd he'd been on a bender getting pissed for three days. And that was hehehehe he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he? He was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was just? He was just he was just he was just he was just he was just. He was just. He was just. He was just he was he was. He was he was. He was. He was he was. He was just. He was just. He was just. He was just. He was just. He was just. He was just. He was he was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He? He? He? He? He. He? He. He. He. He. He? He. He. He. He. He? He. He? He. He. He? He. He. He. He. He? He. He's he. He's he. He's he. He's he's th. He'd th. He'd the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the was his excuse to his wife and they went what you gonna what Dennis what you gonna tell your wife well well wait a minute moment moment he's not gonna believe I was out with you lads just say you're away for a minute no she knew I wasn't away from it because of the beard oh yeah it looks like you've been out for three days well we have that's right right okay th. Okay let's try that. Do you see? That's a little scenario there that could have been played on. So when you say educating Ricky what have I learned from this? Never listen to you again. That's all I've learned

so far. Never listen to you. Yeah we'll add a little bit more in here right? What do you mean add a little bit more to this what I'm educating you about. Go on. Right? There's only a law in America that says if you touch a UFO you're going to get done. Now why would they make a rule? I don't know that do you know like all their rules have a clue. I genuinely do not know what you're talking about? Do you know like how it is? I have no idea? Okay. Do you know like over idea okay I'm listening to carpets all and these heads I got I got I got Foxy on for yesterday yeah let's let's spin that no way it's great I want to hear about airy Chinese kid let's play a tune okay play a tune come back very Chinese kid definitely

some doors yeah I just saw I go back I take about to the 60s a tune that a friend of mine said if you you touch you a the you if you you if you you you you the you you to to to the to to to to to the to to to to to the to to to to to the to to to to to to to to the to to too. I too. I to too. I to me me me so so to you you you you you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I th I th I th. I th. I tou. I tou. I tou. I'm tou. I'm try. I'm try. I tou. I'm try. I tou. I try. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm not. I'm try. I just thought I'd go back, I take it back to the 60s. This is a tune that a friend of mine sent me. If you touch UFO you get done. Soul Kitchen from the doors. Shumble, sir, yes. Yeah, quite a, quite a, Eno trilogy feeling about it in lodging or low type, yeah. But, uh, yeah. Yeah. Enjoyable. Globurn, yeah. Quite a Eno trilogy feeling about it, lodging or low type, yeah.

But, uh, yeah. Enjoyable. Um, now, okay, that's stressful. I think we've got things working now. We've had people coming in and out, just shaking their head going, pff, shouldn't have bought that desk. But it's all sorted now I think, oh, oh, I'm sorry. You know it's how it took about 25 minutes for them to come down as well though? Do you feel like we're maybe quite low in the pecking order in the building? Definitely. It's like Capital First, Capital Gold, they can shoot off to other sort of pirate stations, people's car radios, then they come back here. Oh dear. Oh, but we've got, thanks for staying listening. Right, okay, educating Ricky. What have we got? Airy Chinese kid, go on. Right, yeah. This is the, I didn't want to do this.

Really? Well, I wanted to give you three and I gave you one, it was like the alien man gets a beard or whatever. Yeah, which was total rubbish, so this one should be better maybe. Hey Chinese kid, right well we've talked about airy people in the past. True enough. Aren't we? You know the little kids who grew up in woods and on the ground with wolves and that. Yeah again you're confusing the yeah they're not there were some people that were born a very a few they were not the people who were brought up with wolves you just put that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho their well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho the toge they they're they're they're they're toge they're they're toge toge toge toge toge toge toge the very Hesu, they were not the people who were brought up with wolves. You just put that together in your homo-simpsin type mind. Right, well this is like a sort of, sort of close to that sort of story. But the weird thing is right, Chinese people aren't that hairy as a nation. No seriously, that's a well-known fact. They don't have that much body hair and stuff. So this little kid who was born

over there, he was like covered in the stuff. Was he? Was he? And it was only his nose that wasn't hairy. The rest of his body was caked in hair, right? And his hair sort of... What sort of hair was it? Was it? Was it? thick what I mean is was it sort of like a pony's mane so he just looked like an ewock you don't mean just like hanging down sort of straight dark hair? In the picture it looked like it grows from his eyebrows it grows from his eyebrows quite thick and then it just goes all the way over his hair. You don't think it was just really long eyebrows that he'd done a comb over? No, it was all over his body. It had a picture of like his back and that.

And he styled it? Have he styled it at all? Do you have a quiff or? No, it was just all over him. And they were like, you know, this is a bit weird happening in China where we're not normally that airy. That was the scientist speaking there. The local press and that were getting him down calling Monkey Boy and all this. And the doctor. But the doctor said... Yeah. Oh. They were cruel aren't they? It's like those game shows. Well, that's Japanese isn't it? Yeah. And the doctor said um... I was still talking through all that the time where we were just like talking to each other then. Because I turned round and I still saw he was talking was talking to the hairy boy, the monkey boy.

So anyway, the local press came out of the monkey boy. And they were like being tight, taking the micto o'n nuts out out out out out out out out out, and he's, said, said, said, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, because, he's, because, he's, because, because, he's, he's, because, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. He. He's th. He's the the the tot. He's tot. He's tot. He's totally, he's totally, he's totally, he's totally, he's totally, he's totally, he's totally, because, he's tthe only faults he's got is he's got a little bit of eczema and a boil. He said everybody should just treat him the same and I think he grew up a healthy kid. Um, yeah, so that's the, that's the, uh... That's the end of the story. That's not a story. Why? But I've got nothing, I don't know what to say to that. So someone was, someone in someone, someone, someone, than the rest and he was normal apart from Xma and a boil. That to me isn't a story. But if it is, I've got a million. I mean, it's sort of like, look from Manchester, went a bit bolder than the rest, got a job on radio. It was normal. I mean, there's not a story, is it? Do you know what I mean? All right, um, hang on. Oh God, he's got the big guns. You're not going to give us hanging bacon, are you?

Yeah? Come on then, come on then. Come on. Come on. Come on. This is it. No, this is a good one. This is the one. And this is a story, Yeah? Do you know what it means? Talking. Right. Well, do you know where it came from? No, what they used to do years ago, when people didn't have much money. Is this the same as the baby up at the bathwater? No, it's not the same saying, but I mean is it as wrong as that was? Well let me tell you, we'll see. Go on. Okay. Like people go out. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the they they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're th. th. the. the. the. to to to try to try to to try to to try tho. tho. the. they they they they and with the money they'd buy food. Oh yeah, go on. What do you, what do you mean? People go out to work and with the system? And if you were quite well off, you might treat your family to some bacon, right? But do you know like in these days if people earn a lot of money they might buy a nice suit or a car? Yeah, so what, what are you saying? You'll say, wait? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th is th is th is th i th i, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's is thi's is thi's is thi, thi's is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th i th is a lot of money they might buy a nice suit or a car. So what are you saying? You'll say, wait wait wait wait wait I'll never get this

straight, you're saying that you go out to work and get to buy things to live and if you get sort of enough money to live and you've got some to treat yourself on like a suit or a car is that? Yeah yeah but then back then if they earn money they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their they're they're they're their they're their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their the. the. the. the aren't the aren't the aren't thee aren't theat. theeat. theeeat. they're not not the. they're not not they're not they're they, they'd say, this is olden times. Yeah, okay. Let's get some bacon in, right? And what they'd do, they'd hang it in the kitchen. What, to show it off? To show it off to all the neighbors and friends. Because if you had hanging bacon, it was like, he's doing all right for himself. So they had loads of bacon up and people would they'd they'd to tho' their their their their their their their their their their than than than than than than thann thann thin to they'd to to they'd to to they'd to hang it they'd they'd they'd they'd to hang it in to show to hang it to show they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd to show it in to show it in to show it in to show it in to show it in to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to show to tooing tooen tooen tooen tooing it in tooen tooing it in tooen tooing tooing it in tooing it in tooing it in tooing it in tooing it in tooing it in tooen tooen to stood in the kitchen talking about whatever they're talking about, in old times, they'd say, do you have a bit of rind? And they'd rip a little bit of rind off and whilst they're having a chit-chat, they'd chew on the right. Well I think that's probably true. I haven't heard that, but that one to me sounds true.

Do you see the difference difference difference difference accept that story? Different stories for different things. Different stories for different things. So see that's a nice story. I don't know that it's true. I mean but it seems totally possible, viable, quite interesting. I won't be quoting that myself because I verified it, but that's, you know, I won't be telling anyone the bloke got in a car and he had a full face beard. th... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thed. thed. thed. thed. thed. thed. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi' thi thi thi their their thi' their thi' their their thi. Different thi. Different, different thi. Different, different different different different different different different different different different different different different different different different. thi thi thi thi thi thi thed. thed. thed. thed. thed. thed. thed. thed. D. thed. thi. D. D. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tote. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. So, toge. So, th. So, th. So, th. the their the bloke got in the car and he had a full-faced beard. Why has a car been towed away? Because it was a quiet road. Was it? Was it in the way? Are you filling in the blanks again? That wasn't in the book was it that you read? See that is the thing sometimes I think you make up bits of the story as th they were a fact. That doesn't seem right. Well that's all you can do in it. So that's educating Ricky. Will we do that next week? That is brilliant. I think that

was good. I mean I enjoyed that. I learned something from there. I mean just just I want to get I mean this is all from one book is it? Yep. That's an interesting book. Um. With the, I don't I don't want to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell to dwell the to dwell to dwell the to dwell to to the to dwell the the to dwell the the to dwell the the the the the that. I that. I that. I don't want to that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's that's. I that's that's that's that's that's that's the. I. I. I. I don't. I don't. I don't. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that't want to dwell on it, but with the, with the hairy Chinese kid, what, what did they say about that? What did they, what was the, I mean, was it, once there was born a kid it was slightly more hairy than everyone else, but it's all right, he only had a boil? How did they, how did they, how did they, how did this capture your imagination? Well it was a picture that grabbed me first of all. Sure. And it was like God what's up with him? And that's when I read it. Did you see the boy in the X-mo or just the hair? No, you see because his face is like just under his eyes is sort of nice and smooth and his nose is sticking out and that's not airy. But the rest of him it looked like he had the sort of balaclava on or something and then I read on and the the the the th on and th on and then I then I then I then I then I then I then I then I then I then I then I then I then I then I read on then I read on then I read on their th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. And their the. the. the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. Did the. Did the. Did the. Did the. Did the. Did the. Did thee. Did the. Did the. Did the. Did the. Did their their their their the like this was a hairy kid in China. Yeah, yeah. Okay, good.

Anything else in there? Because, I mean, I like, I like, I like that. No, we'll do more of that next week. How is that alongside hanging bacon? Aided and abduction, a hairy Chinese kid, and a little interesting fact about the derivation of a phrase. What do you mean? He didn't understand the word of that. I knew the word derivation was going to call problems. I thought derivation shouldn't have come out.

Ha ha ha ha! I wasn't disputing, he's all smug. He's all smug. That was back. Lost cause. Go on, tell him why you're all smug. Because Adrian just a phone call. That was back, lost cause. Go on, tell them why you're all smug. Because Adrian just called up, after hearing the story about the Chinese kid, and he said, yeah, that's true. He said that there was a TV program on it. He had a chromosome defect, and it made him airy. And his mom and dad used to have to shave him. That wasn't in the book. But thinking about it, that's not a good move anyway, is it? Because they say that for women, if you get a few airs on your top lip, don't shave it because it'll grow back thicker and faster. So...

They should have just what, let him be here. They should have just what, let's see? Well, they went in there straight away, if he was hairy, is they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, because, they, because, because, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, because, because, because, don't, don't, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, if, if, if, if, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, they, they, they they they they they they they they they they they they But Adrian called up and said, yeah, he was air, he was alright. We weren't disputing there was a Chinese kid born slightly hairy than the rest. We were disputing the fact that you didn't actually tell us a story. You just told us a subsection of the fact. And what we are disputing is that that man was abducted by his for three days and grew a beard. That's definitely not true. true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true true their their their their. th. their. th. th. th. their. th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. their, their, th. There's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. There. there, there. there, their. their, their, their, their their, their, their, their their, their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. the their their their their their their thue. We don't know about chewing the fat but it sounds quite viable. You see the difference is between me and Steve and you is that what we believe isn't random. Do you know what I mean? It's not random the things that... We don't believe stuff just because it's interesting. It's not every other thing we believe and every other thing we don't. We sort of like... Well I think I know I if it's interesting. Yeah I know I know yeah. He thinks oh intriguing and he said

he said to me on the, before you got a minute he said that Ollie's record he and Evie's my brother what's that about then? I went I don't know I I heard it was about someone who had a disabled brother and he was lifting in and out of a car or something and someone said, oh do you want a hand and he went now he's not heavy, he's my brother, i.e., this isn't a burden for me. Right? Carl, what did you say? I'd say. No, I'll tell you what he said, he went, that's ridiculous, he was still heavy. And he said, and don't turn down help. Which, we were were wee wee we we we we we we we we we we we that we were that, we were that, we were that, we were that, we were that, we were that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th. thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. It, th. It, th. It, thi, thi, thi, thi. It was to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It was the, thi, th. It, he was still heavy, and he said don't turn down help. Which we were talking about that because a new feature we're starting about this time

every week. Oh yeah. And we start about this time every week? Yeah. Yeah. We'll do, that song's got a good story. Okay. I'll have a love it, snappy. Go on. There's loads of songs out there, with songs that you couldn't fade out. When you hear th them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their their their their th th their th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the tho tho the. tho tho' tho' th. th. th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. th. the. We're to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' to th. We're th. We're th. We. Go on. Go on. There's loads of songs out there, isn't he, with songs that you couldn't fade out. When you hear them on the radio and that, you don't want anyone to talk over the start or the end. Yeah. Because it's a... Remember we didn't this one of, the true? the end. to before, but when, when we didn't... I listened to it again. And I was, the... that killing of Georgie, he went, I think it is a true story. I went, I listened to it again and Rod Stewart at the beginning says this is one of the best friends. So there's loads of songs out of that and what I want to do, we want to get the audience involved in this so if you've got like a favourite song that's got a really good song. If you've got an audience. Yeah go on. And the email in Ricky. Dochivace at X and N. Codd. Codd. the song is now. What would examples be then? Examples

ones that jumped to mind straight away for me. Elvis in the ghetto. Yeah, good one. Andrew Gold, lonely boy. Absolutely. I don't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah............................................................................................................................................................ Eminem, Stan. All right. Yeah, yeah, good one. You couldn't fade it out, could you? Because you go, well, what happened? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And that's what I'm saying, not just any sort of pop song, that keeps it keeps or, you know, I mean, if you turn the radio off. Yeah, I'm talking about songs. Really? Yeah, I mean is a good story. That is a good story. Oh, yeah. Do you know that one? Yeah, it's a story, yeah. Ted from Teddington, he drove the Baker's van. Well, so what have we got then? We got one since we got one. So we're going to kick it off today with Stevie Wonder, living just enough for the city.

Okay. And just, just, just, stop it up. Right, if you are nipping out, maybe you're in the car and you're about to pull up somewhere and get out, what it's all about is, is a lab who's growing up in like America in some rough area, right? And he's trying his best to do well and get a job and everything. But because of where he's from, it's stopping him doing that, right? It's like how I grew up in a state the state the state the state the state, their their their their their their th... A th. A th. It's, I th. It's, I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. It's, th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's a thr. It's a thr. It's a tape. It's a tho. It's a today. It's a tho. It's a the. It's, is a the. It's a I grew up in a estate in Manchester, I had to leave there and come to London to do all right for myself. Right? And it's his whole family and it's a tale of like how his man works dead hard and works

loads of hours, but the kids are always well-dressed and cleaned. It doesn't mean just because you haven't got a good job, you know, their house run down. Do you know, the sister, she hasn't, thah's, thia, thia's, thia's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to toe.. And, toe.e. And, toe.e.e.e. And, too, too, too, toe.e. And, toe. And, toe. And, their, their, their, you know, she hasn't got new clothes but they're always clean and a knees are clean, I think it says in one point. Excellent, clean knees, it's always important. So will we give it a listen, let everyone, it is a great track. Well I don't think Stevie to do it, that's a great track. So, brilliant. I'm looking forward to the clean knees. Oh, oh, I'm not sure. I'm to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thatheease is going is thee is thee is the clean. It's going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going is going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. It's going. He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's is going. He's is going. He's is going. He's going. He's going. I's going. He's going. I's going. I's going. I's going to is going to is going to is going to is going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be just going to be to be just going together. I's going to is going to be the same. He's going. He's going tune to try and pepper it up because you have really locked it in the socks off. Brilliant. I'm looking forward to the clean knees.

It's a new feature. What is it called again? The story in that song is really good. Here's Stevie Wonder. Go on then, Carl, back an hour. It's your choice that. Right, songs with good stories, like you can't fade out. Yeah, I know you didn't you didn't play the full version which is obviously got the complete story in you've um you've just played a I haven't heard

the other single version well in the album version he gets abducted as well he gets abducted as well and he comes back with a big beard yeah and he's covered in hair no he goes to he gets arrested and goes to jail but it's just you know it's just because he gets picked up because he's black and he hasn't done anything wrong. There's a whole other, there's a whole of that sort of section. Maybe we should change this section? No what we'll do right? Abridged versions of songs? Yeah. No, next week we'll play the second bit and it'll be like uh like Star Wars or something like that. Brilliant. Doves.

Cought by the River on XFM. 104.9. Well, it's been a good show, hasn't it? It's been sort of like a rock and roll, 70s feel to it, mainly the equipment. But we got through it. Carl's been telling us some great insights into his mind really. I've had a few laughs, a few tears. A bit stressful. What are you telling me in the week about when you went to visit your dad in hospital? Oh, we're talking about, yeah, when I got back off holiday my dad was in hospital. I shot back to see him, see how he's getting on.

And hospitals are depressing places, aren't they? Really like, God, you know, you know, even if you're not that ill, it makes you feel worse. Because it's really like it drags you down, these people walking around moaning, you know... You mainly? Nurses. And, my dad was... Yeah, hi-fi. Satire.

Yeah, I would like to be the end of getting paid and half and all that and I do like... No, well that's... Tony Blair are you listening? I don't want to look like a moaning about the people working because they all work really hard. But it's just... I had depressing places. I've thought, go on. Right, so I sat there and my dad's getting fed up. And, uh...

Is that because you're visiting? Just, it's quite an axis bloke and all of a sudden he's got to stay in bed and, you know, it's like to sit down, stop moving about and all this. So, um, so he's sat there and there's an old woman in the bed next door, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right? And she's, I mean, she's in a bad way anyway. Yeah, right? She must have been, she looked about, I'd say she looked about 98 or something like that. Okay, good. Right. Now I don't know what was wrong with her, but she was always constantly moaning and you could see that the nurses were trying the best to keep her happy and she wasn't having any of it and you know she was moaning because her hands had gone blue. Well that is a worry to be honest. Well it's not because she's 98. Does that what happens? But why why doesn't the doctor if I was a doctor and I'm not one but no Carl don't be modest are you a doctor? Yes or no. I think he's let it slip.

Carl, are you a doctor? No, listen. Look me in the eye. Right. So this woman had blue hands. Had she seen a spacecraft? Right. So, no, no, quite. She had blue hands. Now, she's 98. If I was a doctor, no, she's not 98. You said earlier on she looked about like that you so you're making that up She's just shifted from speculation Yeah, yeah, she's 98 I mean I was a doctor I'd be thinking you know are you honestly you're not on them I don't go away with this I'd be thinking you're not are you honestly saying you say but I can't they go away with this I'd be thinking right she's not the 't got long left, why not just let her be at home

and be happy in her own space, you know, and let her have a nice life, whatever's left. Because she may hurt herself, so you may have falls, some people have to go in there for their own protection, she might not have a immediate family. She may not have been dragged in against her will. She may have come to hospital, because she was worried about her blue her. She. She. She. She. She. She, she. She, she. She, she. She, she. She, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's th. She's th. She hasn't, she hasn't, she hasn't, she hasn't th. She hasn't th. She hasn't th. She hasn't th. She hasn't, she hasn't, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she hasn, she's th, she's th, she's th, she's th, she's th. She's protection she might not have been dragged in against her will. She may have come to hospital because she was worried about her blue herns. Yeah. Yeah, but when I was talking to Ricky, he said, oh what it would have been is probably a bit of, did you say it's rheumatism hands, bad circulation, we're going to send you own, we'll give you a Rubik's Cube, play around with that with your hands, get the blood... Get the blood pumping. And don't worry, I don't say, oh it's really bad, just

think she's 98, don't have a nice rest of the life. But instead she was there and the the the annoying thing was, and they do this with a a lot a lot a lot a lot lot lot a lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot, their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, th. It's, their, their, their, get, get, get, thr, th. their, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, th. It, th. It, th... It, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the annoying thing was, and they do this with a lot of people in hospital, they pump you with drugs, I saw it out, they don't, you know, they're probably a bit of guesswork going on, maybe, a little bit. Not as much as you, but go on. Right? And because of that, they sort of break wind a lot. So I'm sat there with my dad talking, their drugs, the drugs do that, that, that, th..... Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr, th. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Drugs, th. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Drugs, thi, thi. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr.............................................................................................................................. clarify that if they pump you with all sorts of stuff it wants to come out. So you're sat there having a serious chat it's a quiet hospital the woman next door with the blue hands suddenly starts seeping gas right? I start laughing. Because this is one thing that makes you laugh it's like

it's like... Is it a 98 year old when we're blue hands farting? So you try to hold it in because it's a really quiet hospital and it'd be obvious that that I was laughing at and I didn't want to be mean but it was funny and then it got me talking about my auntie because my auntie Nora she's she's the same thing pumped to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. I I I I I I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm their th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their their their. I's their is is their is their is their is is their. is is their is is their is their is their. I's is is their. I's is their is their is th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's is th. I's th. I's th. I's thin. I'm thin. I'm too. I'm too. tooe. I'm tooe. I'm tooe. I'm try. try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm try. I'm toy said a cabinet next to the bed is like boots she's got loads of stuff right for all sorts of stuff and I mean she's not that old but she's on loads of stuff right and she's a bit coaked up if she's smoked she called up my man once and yeah yeah oh you told us this go on to play it again and uh she said oh how you're doing and that it's all right thi to say no tho th how th th'd have been breaking wind. So she goes, well, you know, she says no, but this one is going on and on and on and on. And she was like, what, what, what do you say? What's, like, passing,

farting for five minutes? One, one thing. Not like, you know, trump in and the nothing. Continuous, a drone of a fight. Yeah. I don't think she had. How big was she? She must be the size of a barn. No, she's not that big. She's, you know, she's good for age. No, but I mean, got slim. No, but fine for five minutes. Where's all the guy, was she's circular breathing? Was she sucking it in the? It was just, I don't know, I don't know that much about it. But she called up my ma'am, about two and a half minutes in. Could you hear one in the background? Two and a half minutes in? Two and a half minutes, she called me up and it went on for a further two and a minute. And she just stayed on the phone, did you throwing th. And she th. And she th. And she th. And she th. And she just th. And she just th. And she th. And she just the th. And she just th. And she just the th. And she just th. And she just the th. And she just stayed the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I, I, I, I, I, she th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She was just called, she that that that that that that that that to to that that that that that that that tho. I that, Ise? She was off the ground. I'm trying to work

a tune-dose. She was actually hovering. She was full off the ground when they found her the ambulance then. The cat's dead. Don't like a match. Don't like that cigarette. Yeah. It's like the advert. The kids come home from school switch on the lights. Yeah, there they see Granny hovering doing the light on. Be careful if you have an elderly woman at home. Yeah. Drugs make you fat. So that's that's what I'm saying, you know, just let these people give you their second. What are you saying? I'm saying let people enjoy the life they've got left. No you're not. Give me a rubic's cue and let them die. I'll tell you something. I, let people people people people people people people people people, I, let people people, I, let people, let people, I, I, let people, let people, let people, I, let people, let people, I, let people, let people, let people, I, let people, let people, let people, I, let people, I, I, let people, let people, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people, let people not. Give him a Rubik's Cube and let him die. That's what he's saying. Yeah, I'll tell you something now, right? Steve, I'll tell you something, I didn't want to do it because it bring the show down, but she did die. Who, the blue-handed lady? Yeah. How do you know? Because I said to my dad, how's the woman next door. She said to their-I-I-I-I-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she-she went, I-she went, I thin, I thin, I thin, I thin, I th-I-I-I th-I didn't th-I didn't th-I didn't want, I didn't thin, I didn't want th-I didn't want th-I didn't want th- I didn't want th. I didn't want th. I didn't want th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th- I th th- I th- I thin, I didn't thin, I didn't th-I th-I th-I didn't want to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I to-I didn't want to to to to to thee thin, I didn't want the, I didn't the, wouldn't it have been better to leave her at home where a friend's

and family can call and speak to her even nipped up round if they want, you know, with a cat, I imagine? No, it's definitely a cat now. What's the cat's called, do you imagine? Probably, I'm seeing like a big ginger one, so I don't know, maybe ginger, ginger, maybe I had a budgy. But that's what I'm saying, just just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, I, I'm just, I'm just, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm just, I'm just, I'm that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that, I'm sing, I'm sing, I'm sing, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm sing, I'm sing, I'm sing, I'm't know, something like, I don't know, maybe ginger, whatever, maybe I had a budgy. But that's what I'm saying, just let him enjoy this life because dying in hospital I wouldn't like to do it. If I went to the doctors and he said you don't got a long life left, I'd say, well, I'll stay at home. Yeah.

And that's the point I'm getting at. Right, if you can't do anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything anything th let them enjoy the life. Yeah a Rubik's Cube Right well, um good backfired now Let's play the second of the Rolling Stones track and I try and do this every week. It's a feature called Two ladies to go and get another album. Yeah, what about a classic bit of rock and roll? Yeah, I'd love to hear it. Brown Sugar. Do you know what this is about, Carl? Drugs. Maybe, I'll tell you later. Well, stones, brown sugar.

Steve thinks I can't tell you what this is about because it's too rude for radio. But you've done it again, haven't you? You've had another call, haven't you? Yeah, just that drugs do make you have a wind, morphine especially. That's the bad one to have. And that was my medical student, wouldn't it? Yeah. Up in Leads so to cheers for that. Haven't had any calls about the alien abduction funn't, fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun funduction funnily enough. No clarification on that. No. Keep you posted though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If anything happens, we will let you know. Yeah. Yeah. Well that's

it, we got through it with all these mistakes. They've got to get this equipment fixed and get, they've got to go to HMV Monday and buy about, I'd say five to ten thousand pounds worth of new arms. Definitely, definitely. Get this fixed. No get this fixed, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't go on about that. Next week though, we'll have more educating Ricky. Look, as the phone. Yeah, don't do that.

What? Educating Ricky, we'll do the case. Steve, what? What for you got? What next week? I'm just going to bring some sandwiches. Do you notice I was quite quiet for the last 20 minutes? Yeah, just dozed off. Yeah, well the air conditioning's. I'm feeling quite monkey. It's too, that doesn't work like that. And this is totally serious. I'm not joking. It's I mean it's ridiculous. I mean it's ridiculous ridiculous. I mean it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. Stone, it's always a favourite. If you want me to stay. See you next time. Cheers. Sweet.