The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S3E2 (November 8, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

During the hiatus, Pilkington signed on with Gervais and Merchant’s talent agent, and negotiated a deal with XFM to get Mondays off in exchange for continuing to do The Ricky Gervais Show on Saturdays. This was a frequent topic of contention during this run with Gervais repeatedly accusing Pilkington of being lazy for demanding an entire day off on exchange for doing 2-hours of work on Saturdays.This show began airing again in November 2003 and broadcast for 12 weeks until January 2004 when Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film series 1 of their new show, ‘’Extras’’.

Yeah, Darkness. I believe in a thing called Love on XFM 104.9. I'm Ricky Javais, your Steve Merchley Short. That's little Carl Pilking down over there. Where is he? There he is? There he is. All right? Hey! Back then, back together again. The old gang. Yeah, it started last week. Yeah, triumpf and I think it went well last week, didn't it, Carl? Good show, wouldn't it? You th th th th th th th th th th they. Hey th th th th they. Yeah, th. Hey, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeea. thi. theeea. thea. I, thi. I, thi. thi. I, thi. I's, the. I think the, try and from return. I think it went well last week, didn't it? Good show, wouldn't it? You loved it, didn't you, Carl? Brilliant, right? Yeah. Now, you weren't speaking to Suzanne last week at this time because you said, she had a haircut, probably quite an expensive haircut. She's a lady in media, she's got to look good, she probably doesn't go to the barber like you or just shave it at at at at at at at at at at at at at at at it at it at it at it at it at it at it at the the their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. You, th. You're thirty, you're their, you, their, their, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're their, you're their, their, their, their, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thr-I thr-I's thrownee. throwne, throwne, throwne, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, or just shave it at home. Probably spent quite a little bit of money on it. She came home, she thought, well my sweetheart, my lover, my sweetheart, my, you know what I mean? The man in my life is going to love this. Well he adores everything about me, he's going to love my hair. She walked in, hello Carl, you look like Dave Ill from

Slade. Is what you said to the poor woman. then talked about it on air she was furious about that so what did you do she did listen yeah she wasn't happy do you slag her hair off yeah so this is probably annoying her now well no it doesn't matter we can do a lot to say because she's at work and of course no one's gonna tell her let's have a chat about a fat ass shall we? Hold on. Oh dear. Oh dear. You are in so much travel. That's a...

Look, he's realized he has, he is a little bit worried. Oh, didn't you go and buy a coat or something? Took her out on Sunday and treated her to a new coat and that. But I offered, I said, I'd pay said I'd pay to have it done again. Oh no! Carl you have, oh God! Oh my Christ! So she listened to the show, what did she say? You got home, she'd heard you slagging her hair off. I imagine that. He thinks that's a good thing. Sort of like, we've won the polls. Brilliant. Well you can have facial surgery now, love. It's not like, it's just, Christ, you offered to have it done again? Unbelievable. Yeah. But yeah, I got home and she's like, oh, being nudy with me, right?

You thought someone's wrong, so you must have listened to the show when I was slagging off her hair. Well, his first thought was she probably looked at herself in the mirror. Do you have raised with me? Yeah. Yeah, that barber's been round again. Yeah. And she just said, oh, that wasn't very nice of you, was it? So I just said, hang on a minute. I said, that's what we do on the show.

When I'm slagging off, you know, never interfere. I love the fact. She's got to get her priorities now. I love the fact that she's in the same queue as a billion people you've never met. Yeah. That's fantastic. She's in the same cue. Well, look, you didn't complain. Well, no, because Carl, I don't think Carl has ever admitted he might be in the wrong. Certainly not to your eye.

That is thi, the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, th't it? That is so true. He's never admitted that he might be the wrong So did you in this instance agree that maybe you'd overstep the mark? No, I just said she she took it badly Do you know what I mean? I mean, it's only a haircut. Yeah, yeah See if you haven't seen it so you can't start doubt she looks like Dave Hill from Slade, who, if I'm, unless I'm mistaken, used to cut his hair with garden shears blindfolded. So you know what I mean? And did her teeth stick out and she started tweak me with a brummy accent as well? I've got used to it now anyway. And so did you bought, at some point you came crawling back and you said do you want me to buy you a the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to the to the to, their, to to their, I, I, their, I, I, their, I, I, tho, tho, tho, tho, I'm, I, I'm, tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I'm, I'm, tho....... And, the. And, the, the, the, tho, tho' tha'nough, ta'ea'a'ea'ea'ea'ea'n'e'n'n'e'n't, tha'u?ea'er, throwne came crawling back and you said do you want me, do you want me to buy you a coat? I just said let's leave that, let's go out and have a good weekend.

Sure. But get your hat before we go. So then there. Oh God. Treat you treat it in your coat and that. Oh god. It's a nice coat looking at the head. So if anyone... What does it do? Flash? It's got upset it across the back. If anyone who knows Carl's girlfriend is listening... Teller.

And maybe you're a work colleague and you're listening to the show or what's the... Get her to phone him now. Get her to phone him now. I mean, get the hair. What's the fat ass complaint line? Because you are in deep shide. Cemetery. Cemetery Gates, by the Smiths, of course, off the Queen is Dead album. Lovely tune. It makes you happy, doesn't it? Absolutely. That's a nice song about dead people.

Yeah, it's beautiful. I, um, just wondering what your opinions and what your thoughts are on Britney Spears? Uh, liked a couple, a bit bored. I think she's a little bit desperate with all this Madonna stuff. Yeah, all the kind of lesbian yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know, yeah, she's all right. I've got any I've got anytanks the the the the the the the the the the the the th ga th got a th got a th. Yeah th. Yeah th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi's thi's thi's th. Yeah, thi's th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi's th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, don't know, yeah she's all right, I've got any games to go. Well I read I think it was in hot tickets magazine, free with the evening standard. Oh I might get some free thing standards now, I've plugged that. Yeah. I, she's reading in there that, I don't know if she's still going to happen, but apparently she was going to do a little cheeky appearance at G-A-Y. the in London and obviously I was quite excited because I'm a Spears fan. Do you know what that's about was don't you?

G-A-Y? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well I think it is a gay club. Oh sure, this is what this is why I was ascertaining from the article. Oh, because they've said, they've just said they've called it what it is. Yeah. And it apparently she was going to be previewing some of her the the their the and that's an intimate venue. Normally you'd have to see someone like Spears, probably at Wembley Arena, something like that. I'm thinking I'm a Spears fan, you know, get up a couple of the gang together. You know? You know. Some of the lads.

Yeah, but then I read on in the article that apparently the way they were going to ascertain if you were a regular was by asking a series of questions at the door. What testing if you're really... Now I don't know if the questions would be about the interior of G-A-Y or the interior of someone else? Yeah yeah yeah or just general kind of... Do you reckon you'd have passed the uh... So you'd have had to pretend to be... GAY-Y to get in to see to see to see to see to see to see sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp sp I I the th. I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do you're th. Do you're that, I'm the. Do you're the. Do you're th. Do you're th. Do you're th. Do you're th. Do you're th. Do you're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I the?? Doe. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm te. Do-I-I-I. Do-I. Do-I. Do-I. Do-I. Do-I. Do-I. tea-I. tea-I. teasease. te. I was t be G-A-Y to get in to see Spears. Now that... You say gay on the radio? Yeah I think so. Now that's iron isn't it? So you're pretending to be gay to get into a club to see a bird you like. I'll give you a little quick test. Shall I? All right. Sorry. What's your name, mate? Um, Paolo. All right, Paolo.

Yeah. Right, you haven't done a lot with your hair, just sort of let it grow out. I mean, would you be putting product on a bit later? Because I mean, you don't look very, you don't, you look sort of quite, quite, quite masculine, yeah, well, sort of like you didn't mean like normally it would be shaved okay we say normally that looks about like three months growth there why haven't you I've been ill nothing serious nothing serious okay that's why I let it grow grow so it's grown okay so what what time would you normally be going out then normally I'd

got about about eightish I had about eight o'clock in the evening you've gone? No, no, no, no, no. Because that sounds a bit early, that's what, no, I'd go out about three in the morning normally. Right, so I was like the mothsaw, yeah, okay. That's right, that's right, yeah. Where'd you go down sort of, sort of, on the co-up. On, on, on, on, to co-I. On, to co-I. to coy, to coy, to coy, to coy, th. th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, that's that's that's thoan, thoan little shaved head head okay well you're doing you're doing fine sounding pretty good can I just watch you one final question I'm 20 bend a point oh it's 20 bend a point so I'm just gonna let you in I'm just gonna tell the guys let you in but I guess one more question do you do you to nobs, do you? Can't get enough knobs. So what? You hate tits I see? Load them. You hate tits, do you? Yes. Okay. What? Even Liza Manellies? I don't know what to say? I don't know what to say? I don't know what to say. I love knobs. I don't know. Yeah, I love knobs. thanks very much. You know Britain is on, oh, she's so sexy. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. tip th. th. tip tip tip tip tits tits tits tits. tits tits. tits tits tits tits tits tits tits. Yes. Yes. tits tits tits tits toy- I toyat's toy- toy- toy- toy- toy- toy- toy. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. tits. tits. tits. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. toda. today. tot-a. tot-a. tot-a. tot-a. tot-a. tot-a. tot-n't. t Britain is on, do you? Oh, she's so sexy. Oh. See, that's what would give me away.

I know, great escape. You're just, just last. You just... Well, you're, you're, I mean, I think you're probably a bit by. Right. Yeah, but I mean, go in anyway. Thank you very much. Okay, the drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks drinks. shirt off yeah I'm Ricky Javais, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. You're all, Carl? Yeah, yeah, not bad. Yeah. Just, um, when you were talking just now about, like, the gay stuff, right?

I don't know if you saw, uh, the thing the other week about the fella who's on that quiz show. Who? Oh, right. Okay. Who? What you're talking about? the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, t, tah, tah, tah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, th. What, th. What, th. What, tha, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. Well, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to. What, to. What, to. What, to. What, to. What, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to.a.a. Yeah, to. Yeah, to, okay, who? Who? Who? Sort of man, man woman. What are you talking about? What, what, what did you see?

Tell me what you saw? This is like a kid coming in and he's seeing something frightening. It might, could be an alien, could be a ghost, could be a pedophile, and you've got to get exactly what actually saw out of him. Right, what this fellaer who's this, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thua, thuu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what th. What, what, what, what th. What, what th. What, what, what th. What, what th. What, what th. What, what thi, what thu, what thu, what thu, what thu, what thu, what thu. What, what thu. What, what thi, what tuh, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what tahahaheat, what that, what that, what did you actually see? It's just this this fella who's a woman. Right, right, okay, right, try and talk like a human being. Right, it's a quiz show that's coming on the tele, and it's this woman. Right, is it a feller who's a woman or is it a woman? that's a both, that's why I'm talking about it. But what do you mean? Is it a pre-op, is it a transsexual, transvestite? Is it a ladyboy? Is it an amaphrodite? What is it? Well tell you about it? I'm tel you? I'm tellain. I'm tell you. It's a woman. Well, it's a man. Oh, forget it. Listen. Play it the record. It's a trap. It's a man. It's a man, well... Oh Christ's Sike!

It's a TV program where they've got this... Tratvestite or television? It is a transvestite, yeah. But, but the problem is, I'll tell you, just because you don't know about it, the program is... I don't know, I still don't know about it, I don't know anything about it, still, I don't know. man woman man man man woman TV TV program tv TV no it's a man who is now sort of half a woman and he's got a man who is now he's got a boy's down to his boys downstairs he's what he did it's captain the boys are still there in his wife friends why upstairs he's got a lovely pair of dumplings why do that what he's got a lovely pair of dumplings why do that what he's why do that what he's got he's half way through th but he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's th he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's are still there in his wife fronts, but upstairs he's got a lovely pair of dumplings. Why do that? Why is halfway through? Why not get it all done in one

one go? Maybe he couldn't afford it? Well waiting until you've got all the money. That just looks a mess. Ah! And who's he pleasing there? Well, he wakes up in and he pleases himself, he can't believe his luck, he does know where to start. No, but what I don't understand, I mean, you know, I don't want to see him. Well, could I finish that, what you don't understand is just about everything? Right, what? I find it weird, right?

I sort of get, I understand the gay thing, right? Do you the, what, what, what, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, but, do, but, but, do, do, but, do, but, but, but, but, but, do, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, I, I, I, I, I, what, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, th.. th. thing. Well, I just know if you're a fella, you like men. I don't know much more than that. What do you mean you don't know? But what I mean is, with a transvestite, what's going on there? What do they want? Now, transvestite is a man who likes to dress in women's clothing. It's not necessarily, they're not necessarily gay. They're not gay. They're often not gay. They just happen to like wearing women's clothes, right? Yeah. But then why not wear women's clothes that could be seen as a bloke, like Susan wears jeans. No, but they, yeah, but that's their problem is it. They like being seen as a woman. They

like being seen as a woman. It's not just that it's more comfortable or they'd wear a kilt. They like being seen as a woman. They feel more comfortable. All right. And what's the deal with this fellow who's got both? No. We don't know this man who's half a woman. It's called Miriam. Oh that's hot. Yeah, yeah. Brilliant. I the the the the the the the the th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi the. the the the the the the the the the' the' the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They's th. They're they's they're they're they're they're like the. They like the. They like they're like the. They like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like the. They's called Miriam. Oh that's hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brilliant. I love this, scientific basis. So all he's done, he's had the tits done, he's probably had the hormones, where we lived as a woman for a while, the last step, because you can probably reverse the breast anyway, because they're probably implants and hormonal things. Whereas you chop your knob and boys off. That's, you know, you come back the next day and go, sorry I didn't mean that, I'm, I'm, I'm, my ears pierced. It's a bit more of a bigger operation to put them back. So doctors are probably making sure that he's just that's.

If you've had the top half done, you're not going treatment. Now that would be a great idea for next week. And you could reverse it. What you can't do is grow a knob back. Well you can, last week you were talking about growing one on your arm. Yeah. We've done that. We can't have that. But the thing is, the truth of it is, I think I do know about this story,op transsexual was masquerading as a woman,

and various blokes who didn't realise that this was a man, had to try and seduce him, her, and when they found out that it was actually a bloke and a lot of them had kissed him and her, they refused to let it be shown, and agree though, that's just terrible. That's deceit. But I mean, you know, that's awful. I hated that. Yeah. Yeah. So what? I think it was a Sky 1 program. Is there anything other than The Simpsons on Sky 1 that's worth watching? Have you ever tried to watch that? Have you ever seen Cursed his home videos? Yes? Yeah. It's things like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like dogs like the dogs. It's their. It's things like it's dogs on a slide. Babies falling over. Do you know, it's only recently reduced from an hour in length.

Really? It's been an hour long and it was just, if you haven't seen it, it's just like camcorder footage like she's been falling over. You know what? I like an old woman at a wedding. it when it's Kirsty's home videos uncut so it's kind of four old women like naked with their tits fall out windsurfing oh Christ imagine that does it whistle well it's just have you ever really sat them watch anything on on Sky1 no that wasn't

the Simpsons or Star Trek I think that's what I watch I think that's pretty much what I watch wrestling wrestling they have WWF wrestling cartoons and just the worst programs I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've I've th I've th th I've th I've think that's what I watch on I think that's pretty much what I watch. Wrestling? They have WWF wrestling, cartoons and just the worst programs. I mean I've seen a bit of the wrestling it's it's hilarious. It's hilarious. It's like a station that's made by a 14 year old boy. Yeah. Well I think I think that's probably what it is isn't it? Yeah. I mean that's exactly the demographic. Do you like sky. I that I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably the the the the the that's probably the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th thooooo- theo- theoooo-s theooo-w. theoooooooo' the worst thought you'd have loved that? No, I would love it. Discovery Channel is all about slugs and that and weird stuff like that. I know. Chimps. I was reading slugs the other day. There's the thing on the one of the channels called Monkey Business. Yeah, I watched that. Yeah. I watched that. Yeah. Because I was doing that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the thing the thing th. I thing thing the thing thing thing the thing thin the thing thin thin thin thin thin thin the thing thin thin thin' their th. It was doing thin' is all about th. It was doing th. It was all about th. It was all about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. It was doing th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. You're talking riddles. You actually talk in riddles. You should be the gatekeeper in some kind of dunctions and dragons. Tell him every game. All right, yeah. Let me enter. All right, yeah, but I was doing that thing with Richard Bacon. What can he mean? What can he mean he is the wise one? Just who's a man who's a woman? Yeah, yeah. The the the other the upper the upper the upper the upper the upper the upper the upper the upper the upper the upper the upper the other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other half. th. the other the other. the other. the other. the other. the the game. the game. the game. the game. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's is is is. He's is. He's is. He's is. He's. Yeah, play a record. A clash. Oh yeah, come on.

Training Vane, XFM, 104.9. Johnny Cash, that's that's brilliant. That's brilliant, isn't it? Good. I'm Ricky Joveys, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. So what are we done?

We've done. hurt on XFM 104.9 that's brilliant isn't it? Good. I'm Ricky Jervais, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. So what are we done? We've done gays, transvestites. Have you done knobbuse it or? It's nice that you can talk about pre-op transsexuals nowadays on the radio. I know. Without the fear of complaints thing. If we had any listeners we'd get complaints would we? We'd get some serious complaints if anyone cared enough to pick up. That's why we haven't gone to a decent station with you know a bit of audio. We would never do this. We could never do this. No, why not? See I'm not doing this to like mess about and offend anyone. I think it's an interesting topic. What? You talking gobbledigue not really knowing what?

Carl, Carl, for the first five minutes you couldn't talk. What? What? What? What? Okay, look, um... Although, you know, who's the biggest, most professional person in radio? It's probably, it was at you that said you can't tell what the sentence he's saying because he keeps coming up at the end before. But he never, there's never any persuasion.

Yeah. So he'll just segue from one point to the next and he'll be like, going on my holidays, Friday. We're having a lovely time, says Mrs. Storophy sheens of Westminster, I'm thinking of going to Greece. Oh, in it's it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the hea's. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I's, tho, thoom. I's thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. to to to to to to to to to to tho, tho, tho, yeah, tho, tho, tho, tho, so. He's, tho, so. He's, so. He's, tho. He's, so. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's, he's. He's, he's, he's, he's tho, he's tho'. He's tho'. He's thoooo'er. He's tooo'er. He's thooan. He's too'er. He's tho'. He's tho'. He's tho' Oh and it's a so he's got his knobs but he's still got the tits. Yeah typical typical. Oh hello Paulo do you want to come into my club to see? Yeah I love to go to Britney Spears. Yeah well it doesn't start for a while it's it's only about eight o'clock and you know you're not going out for hours yeah I have about eight as well watch a bit of tele but um I was well watch a tel. th. that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good that's a good. I that's a good. I that's a good. I'm that's a good. I'm that's a good. I'm that's a good. I'm that's a good. I'm that's a good. I'm not that's a good. I's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a good. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not that's a that's a tele, we've got F8 Cup Final.

Oh, yeah. Just a good one, isn't it? Or we've got the Eurovision Song Contest. What do you want to watch, Paolo? Blamey. Well, I love all the camp and Larmee of the Eurovision Song Contest. Oh, is that David Beckham playing? Because I love him with see what you're done so you will watch the football yeah yeah but you'll be mainly looking at the legs and the tie the short so while Beckham's

knocking him in yeah you'll be exactly knocking one right let's you know did you know you remember I don't I mean I never really looked but when you see old clips of say early eight is footballers the shorts are much tie I think I the I the I you let let let let let let let let let let let let you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you do do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you know do you know do you know do you know do you know did you know did you do you the you the you know did you the you you you the you the you the you the you the you the you the you the you the you the you the you the you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you do you do you do you do you do you know do you know do you know did you know do you know did you know did you know did you know did you know did you know did you know you know did you know you know you know you know know know you know know know know you know know you know you know know you know you know know did you know did you know did you know did you know did you know did you know did you of say early 80s footballers, the shorts are much tighter. I think, I mean I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. I don't look. I don't know.

I don't know. I remember, when there was two strippers and a woman and they whipped off their clothes at the same and you were saying, two people on the stage, yeah. Woman and a man, they were getting the clothes off. Yeah, right? The fella took his pants off the same time as a girl took a knickers off. Yeah, right? All I'm saying is it's human nature. So have a quick look, have a quick look, have a quick look, have a the the their their their their th. their th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. their thuiting, thuiting, their thuiting, their thuiting, thathea, thu. that, that, that, that, thoom. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, that theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. W. thea. the? And then I wanted to look at the woman but she put her nickers back on quick. She didn't live opposite from you, did she? But just sorry, just to turn briefly to the shorts question. It's something because in the 30s and 40s, they were huge shorts, right?

I mean genuinely massive. A small child could buy them as traces. I th has th that has that has that has that has that has that has that has that has that has that has that has th has th has th has th has th has th has th has th has th has th th th th thath thathe thathe thathe thatheaught thathea thathea. thatheaq thatheaq thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha tha. tha has to do with comfort and decency though isn't it and then but by the sort of 80s there there was barely any shorts there I think that was fashion but it's weird that it's you feel like at some point someone's gone guys I mean they've gone too small but that's what happened isn't pipes, you know, heels flat. Tall hats, flat hats. Yeah. I'm making the miniskirt? Long hair, skinned.

Miniskirt, again, I don't know. I'm sure there's been 10 resurgence of miniskirts since 65, whatever it was. You know it's fashion, so they're short. Do you know what, do you do what I think Steve I think the shorts get smaller again before we die I think we'll see one more tight little packet of premiership footballers running round with their awful squeezed like like like the last chicken in a butcher's window wrapped up yeah yeah. Imagine that they just wore cling film short so you could see what was happening in there Carl where would you look then? Because you like like like like like like the the their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their short short short short short short short short. to to to to to to to to their short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. We're their. We're their. We're their. We're their their they're their their their their their their s. We're they're they're they're they're to they're to they're they're their s short. they're they're their short short short. see what was happening there, Carl. Where would you look then? Because you like football, don't you?

We're doing rockbusters. Oh, I just got to do their rocksters. Go on then. Right. We brought it back. This is where I give a cryptic clue. Well, and some initials and you work it's their prizes. I need to to tell you what the prizes are. I needless to say they're mediocre prizes for a mediocre quiz. Sure, okay, yeah, DVDs and VHS, yeah, yeah, VHS, who's still got that. Right, so there's three of them and what you can do now, we've tweaked it a bit. Okay, you can text in, all right? So you can email. We've twea. twea. 83, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. We've. their. We've. We've. We've. We've. We've. the the the their. We've. We've. We've. We've. We've. We've. We've. We've. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. the. the. the. the.................................................................................................................s at XFM. Is that what it is? 83 XFM. That is good though and it is convenient because who's got their laptop up and running and texting.

So I just threatened your phone. Brilliant. Mine couldn't do that. I don't know how to do that on my phone. I don't know how to get... What do you mean? C and one. That's because you're an old man. So I had to write out double U C one. Oh for goodness. I didn't know how to do it. Okay. It won't do it for me. It's ridiculous. Go on. Well, it's 83-936 if you have that problem. Right. Right. Come on with the quiz. I don't know. Three. Three. Three clues. Here we go. First one is teletytele-tubby has got lice.

Right? This tel-tubby has got lice. This telety-tubby has got lice. Right? The initial there is P. So it's a band or an artist that starts with P. And the clue is, this telety-tubby has got lice. Right.

Second one. I'm really already not holding out much hope for this. Working out. Go on. Right, second one. I've just messed that first one up thing. Oh, fuck. Christ. When I give it out later, it'll be, I'll sneak it in without, right? Just don't repeat anything I say. You're an idiot. You really are an idiot. No, no, no, play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play record. No, let me record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play the record. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. But, play. But, play. But, play. But, play. But, play. But, play. But, play. But. But. But. But. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play in a record. Play a record. Play a record. Play in a record. Play no you've ruined it it so you idiot you're an idiot it's off ludicrous fines by Amy Man. Brilliant that isn't it? Very good. On XFM 104. Well, Carl mucked up rockbusters, as usual. I mean, you know what I like it when he mucks up early because it doesn't waste people's lives for 40 minutes, really long. He's mucked up at the end. So obviously people already, they know what it is. They know what it is. They've already, they've said, police, isn't it? You're thi- their. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. I. I. I. I. the. I. I. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's the the the the the the the the t t t t t t t t t too. I've. Moke. Moke. Moke. Moke. M. Moke. M. Moke. M. M. Moke. Moke. Moke. Mok said, well it's police, isn't it? You're an idiot. So that one's gone. So what have you got next? Right, so that's just

an idea, if you haven't heard it before, that's that's how my head works. Right, the question was meant to be. So... All right, so there's only two, so you've got even a better chance of winning than that. So the second one is, I'm saving that money to buy condoms. All right? Think about it. Easy, too easy. Right? Yeah, well that's too. So everyone's got that one. I feel like saying it now. Yeah, but don't say it now. Yeah, but you've got to have an easy one in there, otherwise people get bored. First one was easy, we gave the answer. Yeah, but

hang on. That's the easiest one we've ever had, police. And the second one is, yeah. When you're making bread, add a little bit of color, just a change. the initials. D. Just D, right? All right? When you're making bread, that, that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the the first. the the the the first. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the first. the the the first one. the the first one. the the firsts? D? Just D. Just D. Right? So what you've got there I'm saving that money to buy condoms, the initials JC. Yeah that's easy yeah. And when you're making some bread just chuck some, chuck some color in there. You know what I mean? Change it change every time. Yeah, the clue changes every time. The clue changes every time. Unlike the Times Crossword, the clue changes every time it's set. 83 XFM is all the text. Or it's Ricky Dr. Mays at XFM.

RUK. I want some stuff in that. Rubbish, pointless. David Bowie and Waterloo Sunset. Love that, love the original. Love that one, love the original, I love the original, on XFM, 1 and 4.9. Good work to David Bowy and the Kinks. Yeah, big time. Reading the paper there, Steve. Yeah, well I don't normally read the paper, but I was having a glance through the Daily Express. Does anyone read the express? Well, you do at moment look, live on air. Read it out and then about 400 people have know what's in it. I just read, I was obviously attracted by this little news item, gun raid by three Sadams. Three armed men were- There are to their old tricks again, are they? Yeah. Three armed men wearing

Saddam Hussein masks were on the run last night after robbing a corner shop. The raiders threatened the worker with a hand going to life, ordering him to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open to open their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, were, were, were, were, were their, were, were their, were their, were, were, were, were, were, were, were, were, I their, I their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I their, I'm the, I'm tho, the. And, tho. Wea, the. Wea. Wea'e. Wea'e. Wea'e. Wea'e. Wea, th. Wea, th. the. the. the, I'm th raiders threatened the worker with a hand going to life, ordering him to open the tailbblblah, blah, blah, get the money out. And it says that they also tried to rob a earlier shop, earlier in the day. Police said we are linking the raids because the descriptions of the offenders are very similar. What was the first one? What did the first one? What did the first one? Well? What they? What they? What they? What they? Well? What they? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? Well? They? They? They's. They's. They're? They're? They're? They're? They're, they? They're, they? They're, they. They're, they're they they they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They try. They try. They're try. They're try. They're try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. their. their. their. their. their. They try three Gaddafi's. Right, because that's weird, because we've had three Saddam Hussein's down a crop that the same guy, is it the same guy? Well, I assume so, I wouldn't have thought. I don't want to, I don't know, I don't want to, you know, I don't know, I'm almost it's the same. I am, because I've only ever seen really robberies being planned in films. Sure. So I don't know how it works, I assume that... So you say that.

So you say that's the same. Yeah. But I assume at some point someone's got to get together, one of them, the ringleaders got to get together and go, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, the the the the the to to they, to to they... to they. they. they. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they the the they they they's they, no, no. I tell it would be funny. Well, I don't want to be funny. I don't want to strike fear into the hearts of people robbing. I mean, kill two birds with one stone, we get the robbery and we have a laugh with fear. Do you say you want to strike fear? Well, wear a mask? Well, wear a mask. Well, I don't a mask. Who's the scariest spoke. I don't. I's the worst. I's the worst. I's their. I's to. I's their to. I's to. I to to to their their to their their their their their their their so. I don't. I don't. I don't want their their their their to strike. I don't want to strike. I don't want to strike. I don't want to strike. I don't want to strike. I don't want to want. I want want want want want. I want want want. I want th. I want th. I want want want want want their. I want their. I want their. I want their. I want their. I want their. I want their. I want want want want. I want want want. I want. I want want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. We could have a laugh and we can make a political point, you know, what political point, you know, maybe we're sort of stealing for the rich and giving... We're not like Robin Hood. Well, never mind Robin Hood, let's robberies. Why are you making jokes? Well, I mean, don't worry.

We're robbers. I'm going to do with stuff. I'm going to the comedian. I'm not sure you should be in the the ga. the ga. the ga. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. tho. tho. the. tho. th. to. to. th the. to. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. throb. th. th. th. thro. thro. to. to..... to...................................... to the joke shop in Covent Garden, I go to the one in Southampton Row. Yeah, brilliant. See, because it's so often the case that they're using masks. It used to be Reagan, Thatcher, they were always, if I was the guy selling those, like when three guys came in, three shifty looking at those bloves. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the th. It's th. the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the going to rob. Definitely not. But just think of the police looking at those robbers. Every time they go past one of those awful sort of gift shops they think that, oh no it's just in the window there with Michael Jackson and Shirley Bassett. Oh Paolo can ask you something? I know you love knobs and you hate tits. What about Shirley Bess? Yeah you're pretty bent and you're thinks. I th. I th th but I don't like that I'm cool and not sexy. Yeah you're pretty bent. You are pretty bent. Come in.

Britain is on in seven hours. Excellent. Yeah, what are you doing out at this time? No, no, no, I just came out to get some milk. Nob. There's some cocking the toilet. Carl. Plenty of answers, Carl. I say quiz, I'm not sure that's really valid. Yeah, loads coming in. We're giving away some more stuff later as well with that film thing. That's coming up.

That's when you put yourself into a famous film when you act out. Is that it? Yeah. You've done the graduate, done Silent to Lambs, Billy Elliott. I liked it where you're, um, what was your one, uh, Sixthence? I see what it's done. Yeah, the sixth sense was good. So that's coming up later, we're doing that later. That's, well, we'll look forward to that.

We're all pretty excited about that. Yeah. I'm assuming we got some great music. It's still like that. Thorns, oh, I'm obsessed with this now. and I can't remember on XFM 104.9 Brilliant. Strokes, 1251 on XFM 104. Strokkes, 1251 on XFM 104. to 4.9. I'm Ricky Javais, Steve Merchant.

And Carl Pilkington, not done a lot. Maybe you should earn your money as you get to Mondays off for this two hours of nonsense. What are you on about? I've done loads of stuff. Go to what? What? What? Yeah. Brilliant.

Yeah. Yeah. Same old. toobey. . On the internet? Your Bible, where you get all your information about the world and the universe and morality from. And do you know like, how I always say to you, I don't really read that much of it, I just

read the headline. Perfect. Right? Yeah. Ananova, I've sort of nicked that idea. Well to sort of get to the meat straight away at the top. Do you know what I mean? The headline to the story and everything.

What? Right, these are stories. But the headlines already existed? That was why you thought I was going to do? Not like this though. All right. These are all headlines, right. could stop elderly falling. Do you know what I mean? Oh God.

You know my bracing shoes could stop elderly falling. That's what I'm saying. Well, you don't need to read on anyway? Can't be bothered. Read all anyway. Well, you have a look at that in a bit, right? This is frustrating radio if you're sitting at home. Well, it's not on. They've turned it off. If you want to know where to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you, you, you, you, you, you, oh, you, oh, you, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too, oh, oh, oh, me, you have a look at that in a bit, right? Oh, this is frustrating radio if you're sitting at home. No, well, it's not on.

They've turned it off. If you ought to know more, you know where to go. That's what I'm saying, that's what they should do in the news. Get the news done in a minute. BONG. There's a good story about Iraq. the Bong. BONG. Family sicker living on but whole road. Oh brilliant. BONG.

Man wears same shoes for 60 years. Oh, Bong. This isn't that good. Some fella pulls a train with his teeth. Oh God. Oh God. I look at that. Don't teeth. And in lighter news. I look at that!

Triple Donald, this one is very good. And the last one, man fails to break Cleld's Peggs on face record. She's always good. Well, that's the one I did read on about. I love that all those. That's the one he read on about. Go on then. Why is that news. He fails, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that, that's that, that, tho, that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the tho, the th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That's th. That's the th. That's th. That's the th. That's the th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. that's, tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th record. So did I today? I failed the long jump record today? Didn't even take part. No, I was rubbish. But what are the rules on world records and that? I don't know if there are rules. There are certain things you can't.

I mean it's the Guinness Book of Records, isn't it really that's the arbiter in it? Yeah, but is the anything if you that you that you that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the rules that that that that that the rules that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that is that is that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the rules. the rules. the rules. the the rules. the the the rules. the the the rules. the rules. the the rules. the rules. the the rules. the rules. the rules. the rules. the rules. the rules. the rules. that's that's that's that's that's the arbiter in it. Yeah but is the anything if you said you wanted to do it would they say well you can't do that? Yeah they've stopped some gluttony records obviously things that are in danger and say anything that's illegal yeah anything that's immoral. Yeah like that that American serial killer that just got discovered yeah and I don't think he can make that into the Guinness book of the record. No I don't think they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th thin th are thin th are the the the the thin the the the thin the the thin the the they're they're they're they're they're a fellow eating watches and that, that can't be good for you. So why don't they say, look, don't do that, do something else? He wanted to stay regular. Do you know what I mean?

What do you mean though? I just wondered if he was eating watches? He just said he was eating watches. He got about three and about a minute. How does he time the fellow who's thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thi, thi, thi, to to thi, to to thi, to to to to to to to to to say, to say, to to to to to to to say, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, tho, tho, to tho, to to to tho, to to to to to to to to tho, to to to to to to to to that,the other thing is, the one that I was reading the world record with the fellow who's pulling a train with his teeth, does that make any difference that he's done it with his teeth? What do you mean? Well, what difference does it make? Well, isn't it? It's quite hard to pull a train with his teeth I imagine. Well it's pretty hard to pull a train. All I'm saying is, is it because he couldn't beat the fellow who's pulling it with his hands? Well that's, this is

my point. I think there was one bloke with the record for the backwards, running backwards hundred meters, was sort of like 11 and a half seconds. And I was thinking, turn around, you'd probably, you'd probably have a really good guy that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. T th. T th. This, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, th. This is, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th. This, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. This, th. This, th, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, the. This is theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. This is, the. This is, the. This is, the. This is at that. Do you know what I mean? It's sort of like doing a marathon with a milk bottle on your head. Take the mibottle off and see how fast you can go you've tweak. But you can just tweak it like the fella who has done the pegs on the face, right? His name's Gary Stretch Turner, right? So, sort of cheating already if he's got a stretchy head. Right? But, but... You are, right. are one of the most stupid humans I've ever met. Well get me in the book. Yeah. Right? But listen, so Gary stretched turn, right?

So Gary stretched turn, right? His record is 153 pegs. He did it again, and he only got 150 on. So he hasn't broke his own record. Right? But what I'm saying is, if he tweaked it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the, thi thi thi thi, right, right, right, right, right, 150 on so he hasn't broke his own record right But what I'm saying is if he tweaked it a bit more would that make a new record? What? Well if he said I've breaker for pegs and eating burgers at the same point.

Yeah, just change it a bit. If you know you're not going to make it, just do something else. I'm assuming the rules are set at the beginning, Carl. That's it. That's where they say, right. You're just going to do the pegs thing. You're not going to move because they lived on but-hole roads. Yeah, I'd quite like that one. Now, I don't know if I've told you before, Rick, where I used to live on. I'm not going to tell

you the name of the street where I used to live on. I'm not going to tell you. the street I used to live on. Let me just imagine when you're at school. Yeah. And like in class, for instance in French, you've got to say, they've got, you've got to answer where you live. Yeah, Jabit, wherever. Yeah. That's the name. This is actually the name of the street we lived on. No, it's not. I swear to God. I swear to God. That's absolute right. I could phone. I tho I could I could I could I could I could I could that I could that I could phone. I could phone. I could phone. I could phone. I can that I can't the that I can't the that I can phone. I can phone. I can phone. I can phone. I can phone. I can phone. I can phone. I can phone. I can phone. I can phone. I could phone. I could phone. I could phone. I could phone. I could phone. I could phone. I could phone. I could phone. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I could. I can phone. I can. I can. I can. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. And I'll tell you that... But listen, do you know what worries me? It's the apostrophe S. I know. Because that's blatant. Yes. Amazing, isn't it?

That is incredible. But imagine how embarrassing that was it? So if I look that up in the Bristol... You will find that in the Bristol A-to-Z? I swear it's that address, I always spell it instantly. Really? Like somehow that will hide it, that will disguise the name. But it's interesting, my friend Rufus, his parents lived in a place called Fockingham. Right? This is amazing when he was growing up. They lived in Fockingham. They moved to a village called Fingeringho. No! I swear to God. to to to to to to to to to to a village called Fingering Ho. No! I swear to God! Really? Amazing!

Oh God! Perhaps you come from an amusing town or street? Hello, I'm not getting thing. Fingering the hooking them? Well that's my business. Well this family who's sicker living on Butol Road, right? So the thing that pushed them over the edge was the sign was the sign was outside the house and tourists were always coming so sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of sort of having the the the their their their their their their their their their to to a to a to a their their to a to a to a tooing. Oh tooing. Oh their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. I their their they their house and tourists were always coming sort of having the picture taken with the pants down next to the sign. Oh no, that's the thing that... What's it called? But whole road? Yeah.

Well, that's bad luck isn't it? That is bad luck, isn't it? That is bad luck, isn't it? Who named it seeing this? Well I'll take you there I'll take you there I'll take you there I'll take you there I'll take you there. I'll take you their the bus stop and I'll drive them here. You don't need to you don't know where you just sort to look the to know their to know their to know to know their to their their to to their to their to their to their to their their to to their to to to to to to to their to to to their their their to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to their their sign sign sign. their tolo. toloul. I tol. I tol. I'll tol. I'll to to to to 'll know from then on. How will we get letters? I'm delivered to me if you want. I'll bring them around. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. That's incredible. But I can't get over that. Where Steve is to live? That's extraordinary. Anyway, if you perhaps live in Titts Avenue, you know or... Wanklin' the triv. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thin the the thin the thin' thin' thin' thin' their thin' their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I'll th. I'll the. I'll ti. I'll toda. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. the. the. thr. I really interested, but he will fill up five minutes. Let's play a record. Let's come back with another of Carl's amazing quizzes. I'm going to Spunkton later.

Yeah. Wickege of A Steve Murchin' Car, we're talking to. Big time. We've had quite a few calls. the call. the Greggs. 104.9. Yeah, Ricky Jovey Steve Merchant. Yeah, big time. We've had quite a few calls. Greg used to live in a place in South Africa called Ars'Agay. Arse gay? Arse gay? I'm not with that. Paul's friend's parents live in fart town just outside

Leeds. Which is nice isn't it? That's just ridiculous. And Dean used to live in Butts Farm, Hamworth. Yeah, that's obviously, I assume they're free-range but and not so battery farm but. But yeah, that would be great to just name it out. I think if I was like a bulty billionaire, a Bill Gates type figure, I'd like to buy somewhere like, say Manchester and just rename it. Winging on the wall. Winging on the wall. Yeah. And make them work, work and work Mondays. Exactly.

They'd be obliged to, that would have to be what it's called. Yeah, it would be great as mayor. Yeah, oh, it'd be great as mayor, wouldn't you? Well, you want to be mayor of there's not a great deal to do. No, because it's not really a town. No, exactly. But who can we talk to you about that? Who can go say, look, you've got to stop calling this a town? Because at best it's a novelty street with some, with some slippy pavements near restaurants. I, uh, I actually got stopped by two tourists who said, do you know the way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say to to say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to thi. to to thi. to thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the., it's not worth it. Pop in a record shop, do something else. Yeah. Popping Garfunkels. That's some delicious sausage and mash. But you'll get to China town and you'll go, this is not a town. Yeah. Have you got a town hall? Hmm, got a better shop? Yeah. Not really a town. I don't think you can build a town entirely out of restaurants. It's not enough. It's not enough people I've noticed there Carl.

Aren't there? Let's leave that, eh? What? Leave it? Leave the old man. To Scott, John, who's just emailed in, he said my secondary school was on a street simply called Belend. That's Belend, really? Oh, that's great. There's a road in Cricklewood somewhere called Clitterhouse Drive. Clitterhouse. Yeah, I don't think you can really get that. You can't get them on that. That's fine. No, that guy he's just done with a little off, just taking the mic, get a lot of that sort thing.

There's a place in America apparently. There's a place in America called my an that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that. I th. I that that's. I th. I that's. I'. I'. I' that's. I've th. It's. th. I've th. I've that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. Ben's emailed this in his place in America called My Anus? My Anus? I think I've heard that. Yeah. My anus? Yes, I have heard that. That's unlucky. Yeah, that is unfortunate. Where do you leave my? Where do you leave my anus? I've got a letter for you. Where should I send a day? All right? I don't get cheeky. Anyway just rather than reading out the 8-Z ad right? Are we're? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I the the the the the the the the the the the the the say this? All right, don't get cheeky. Anyway, just rather than reading out the 8-Z, right, are we doing rockbusters answers? Ooh! Yeah, come on then. Listen, this is, this has got Chris Moyles, the breakfast show on Radio 1. Yeah, this sort of stuff. Go on. Uh, have we got a winner? thirty. All right. You find a good winner. And the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. the rock. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the a minute, okay? Yeah, you find a good winner. Yeah, yeah.

At the Rockbuster's Clues, the first one was, this telety-tubby has got it. No, no, that's that. We've done that. That was pole lice. Yeah, rubbish. You ruined it. All right, the third one was when you're making bread add a bit of colour for a change and

sort of you know change the colour of it. Right. Right. That was dye dough. They got that. Give us a winner. Well the reason I've given this person the prizes is just because she's from Switzerland. Sure. She's listening in Geneva in Switzerland so I mean good luck to Tina and she wins those prizes. Who did she want to win the war? I don't know I don't think she had an opinion. Really? Sure. They say that but I reckon I reckon they want us to win really. I reckon so. Do you think that was true of all the wars? They were always on our side really? I'd get her to just if she's to remember her. Who did most Swiss people maybe? Maybe. Who they? Who did? Who did? Who they? Who they? Who they? Who they? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? They? They? They? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They say? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They say? They say? Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who? Who they're? Who. Who. Who they're? Who. Who. Who they're? Who. Who. Who they say? Who. Who they say? Who. Who they say? They say? They say? war? The best one? Yeah, the main one. So just as a poll, in her opinion, so I ask people over 50 or 60, right, just quickly do it in the next 10 minutes, who did they really, but who did they really want to win? Yeah. We know

you're neutral but who's 50 of years later? We can come up with great games, don't we? Hey? We can come up with great games, don't we? Eh? Bad day? A the the Bad day, an R.A.m. On XFM. One o' four point-nine.

It's Carl's Quiz. It's a classic film. He's done some jiggery, pockery. He's in the film. It's his favorite film of all time. I thought the elephant elephant the elephant the elephant that that the elephant that that that that that the elephant he's in the film it's his favorite film of all time I thought the elephant that was your favorite film of all time it's up there but but this is like this this film's got everything it's got hilarious bits in it it it's got sad bits in it I've got the headphones

I've got the headphones because I've got to hear it and I don't usually they I the if I just th I th I th I th I th I th I th is th is th is th is thus thus thus thus thus thus thus I just thus I just thus I just thus I just thus I just thus I just thus thus thus the I the I the the the the I the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the an the an theeeeeeeeeean theeeean. I theeeean. I theeeean. I'm theeeeeeean. I'm theeee an the go out when I'm sort of like tapping and writing in that? Because it's really clear. Everyone can hear that. Really? Yeah. The thing about that microphone, Rick, is it doesn't just pick up your voice. It picks up all the things. Oh, that must be... You're scratching now? Yeah. I don't know what it is. You can't have some kind of rash. Well look, it's X-mill-oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. that. that. that. that. that's. that. Oh. Oh. Oh. that's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It. It's. I. I. That's. I. I. That's. That's. I. I. I. That's. That's. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Well look, look, it's X-Mil. I think, look, what's that? Oh, oh, oh, God. What's that one then? That's just one of your enormous, fat too. What's that? Um, but yeah, it must be irritating to listen to her.

Oh yeah,then, Carl. Right, so the film is Kez, you got to listen to it properly at the end there there'll be a question about what's happened in there so you got to listen to it all the the fact that in pole positioning, in positions one and two of his favorite films of all time is the elephant man and the mics open a bit when this is going out? Yeah, let's have a listen. Alright, alright. Just put that hot dog down Rick. And this is the bit in Kes, where's the teacher and he gets up and he asked to talk.

What's it? Is it Brian Glever? No, no. No. No, no. No, it's the the other. Things that had actually happened... I'm another one. What about you, Casper? Casper? All right.

All right? You haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you? Yeah, I heard some of it. Some of it! Stand up! Stand up! Always somebody, isn't they? Right, now you're going to tell a little story about yourself.

What sort of story? I want you to think of an incident that's happened to you sometime in the past that is true and that you think will interest the rest of the class. All right? All right. Uh, what about, uh, I work on a, um work on a radio show at the weekend. What are you going to tell us about it? I'll just do, it's two hours and it's with Ricky Javais and Stephen Merchant and just sort of play music and you know, tell stories and stuff.

What kind of stories? Well whatever. Like last week it was science. We're talking about this lad who was growing a knob on his arm. So it's weird. It's tricky, sir, because like with Ricky, he gets bored quick and he won't listen to the stories and he'll start squeezing my head. All right, all right, I'm not interested in what he does. That isn't, that isn't normal is it, sir, that. I mean it sure is a bit gay. Is he? Just messes about though, do you know what I mean? I try and like come up with good stuff. Like monkey news and like quizzes and stuff but then he'll just you know Ricky will just mess about I mean on Saturday he did it again he squows me head

how did you spell that? S-Q-S-Q-S-E I can't tell us what it is it's when it's when it's when it's when it's when it's the the they. It's when um it's when um it's S-Q-U-O-Z-E, ah-ah. I shall tell us what it is? It's when, um, it's when he gets me head and he puts one hand on the back of it, right? And he puts the other hand on the front of it, and he just sort of swivels it. Swivel, right down on the front. Oh, swivel's not, it's spelled S-W- I, D, and I.

How many times a day? How many times a day does, as I suppose it, it depends what time he, you know, what time he gets in, if he gets in about half past 12, he could get a good three in. But I think, you know, I don't really want to talk about. Well done, Billy. Well, that's the best thing you've ever done, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, to to to to the end of the fop. That's the effort. Wow, that's the best thing you've ever done Carl. So that's that's Kez, right? Yeah. Yeah, got some good prizes there. Not bad, yeah, good stuff. Question is, how many times did I say

say Ricky can get how many how many head squeezes can you get in before the start the show? All right? So if you were listening properly, the answer's in there. All right, and got some good stuff. Some DVDs in there and some CDs including some Jimmy Hendrick stuff and other odds and ins, good stuff. All right. And just text in, 83XFM. All right. All right. All right? All right. Eddie and the Hot Rods do anything you want to do on XFM 104.

All right? Look at your voice. Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. We've had loads of entries for how many times did I squawes his head. Well the answer was three, wasn't it? Yeah. And who's the winner, Steve Merchant, Carl Pilkington. We've had loads of entries for how many times did I squose his head. Well, the answer was three, wasn't it? And who's the winner, Steve? Let's give it to John. He's emailed in, he's got it right.

He said he squosed your head. Sure. It's not squa word but... You squose my head, I will squeeze your head. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What line you're getting it in? Sure. Tents? Yeah. Okay. Any monkey news? Any educating Ricky, anything else? I don't feel that you've heard Monday off yet because it's just two hours and you only did about five minutes of it. Yeah, but that took a bit of time to make. That's real fun. Yeah, but I bet you didn't do it Monday. I bet you did it on another day.

I bet you'll do that, didn't I think. But I bet you'll do that. But I bet you'll me that so do you know I mean what else you got monkey news well let's do monkey news you want to do it now yeah yeah well we might as like some monkey news you made enough noise there it you want to sorry well it's did I sometimes I like to move around lounge and that and at the mic sure you know I mean yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well let's have the jingle we've not heard it for a while oh oh oh th oh the the the the the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the to to to to to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the while. Oh chimpanzee that monkey news you're right I haven't read this through properly I know I'm just assumed right

what do you mean you haven't read it through basically right it's it's about problems with chat rooms and that right a lot of people it's like a new way of meeting people are that in it now chat rooms you get on there right if you say someone was having a meeting with someone they want to me right okay okay it it it it it it it it it the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the right I um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the now, chat rooms, you get on there, you can have a chat room, if you say someone was having a meeting with someone, they wanted to meet, right, okay, there is not an animal in the world that can understand. Do you want to know the story? You said, you said, you said, you said, it's a monkey. Did they get married? Oh, that. thrown it's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. the. their. their. their. their. their. the. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. Please. the. the. the. Please. the. the. Please. Please. the. Please. the. the. Please. Please. the. the. the. Please. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there, there. there, there, there. there, there, there. there, there, there, there, there. there, there, there, there. there, there, there. Please, there. Please, there. I want to divorce. Bobo. You say that monkeys can do Shakespeare if they're giving the time. No, that's not it. Let's not get into the old Shakespeare monkeys. Canundra.

Please let's not get into that debate again. It's about infinity. This one, this one then. So this chat room, right? And the thing is we chat rooms, uh, you have like a big boss who's looking over it and making sure nothing dodgy's going on. Right. So certain key words come up and that's what? Is that Dr. Zayas? Right? So anyway, they were looking over it, trying to look for dodgy stuff, but they kept coming over like really strange things, like instead of saying, do you want to meet in a bar, right? It'd be like, do you want tree? What tree do you want to meet? Right, okay. You shoot it off? Yeah, I'll see you later.

I'll see you that anyway. I'm just gonna listen to the end of it anyway. You're an idiot, you're an idiot if you believe that shit, honestly. No, I'm just telling you what's on life. Okay, well I don't want the PC term for this, so I really apologize. You're nearly retarded in some aspects. Instead of saying where something sexy they'd say, make sure you bring plenty of bananas. Right, you're talking absolute... Okay. Are you making up the monkey news now because you can't find it anymore. And instead of saying should we get married, they're saying how swollen and red is your ass? You're stupid, fool. Do you want that was that that that that that that that that was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th to that that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay? Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay? Okay? Okay? Okay. Okay? I I I I that that that that that that that that th. I that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho? I tho. I to tho. I to tha. I thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. X-A-F-Ha-Ha-X-A-M.

It's been fun. Ooh-Wee. Mark Ronson and Ooh-E on XFM. Well, what a great show. We've had... It's been fun. Yeah, we've learned some, haven't we? What have we learned?

Well, we've learned the car is an idiot. Yes. That he believes that monkeys can get on their jobs. That's more confirmation of the only suspect. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we always suspect it, but that's that. I just read a little email from someone who just said that in Northern Ireland there is a town called Muft. I'm still then, Monkey News, uh, no one's got anything like Monkey News on radio. Think of that as a boast. Yeah.

No one has got anything like this gout. Yeah, you call that a boil. Look at that and look where it is. Yeah, exactly. We've not heard sadly back from that woman, um, from Switzerland. Haven't we? I just thought I wanted to find out whether the Swiss really, I, I, they, they, I, I, they, I, I, I, they, they, they, they, they, I, they, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, th, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooed, thoooed, thoed, tho, tho we? I knew you throw out a question. Yeah I just I just thought I wanted to find out whether the Swiss really, well I say they're neutral but I would assume they'd be rooting for us and keeping quiet you'd hope so whenever Germans I went oh yeah yeah whoever wins yeah but

whereas with us they go right guys it wasn't for us and we'd have let fascism go in there and they'd be speaking bloody German and Italian all over the place, wouldn't they? I think they do. I think they do. What? They do speak German and Italian. Why? Why? I don't know. They just couldn't be bothered to come up their own language. Well they chose those. What's the point in to be to be to be to be they they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theateateateate. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea come up with their own language and they chose that one I suppose, or they chose those. What's the point of being foreign if you don't speak English? I've no idea. You'd have to ask them. That's mental. I don't know. I don't know.

What would I do? You know, you'd do, you'd do it. speak English. You see do Dutch people, so in Amsterdam with clogs on, they'll be chatting in English. In English, I'm proud of it. Yeah. Oh God, I was there once and I was a mouse mouse with clogs on. Yeah, where? Oh, I was there? Oh, I was there? Yeah. So, yeah, that's language. We learned about languages, I'm not a linguist, but I pretty much think, that's languages. We learned about languages, didn't we? I'm not a linguist, but I pretty much think that's what happens. I tell you something I learned in the week. Go on. Yeah. There should be one thing. It definitely don't only one thing this week. It's a good one though. Don't insults his hands here? I've learned two things.

Go on. Don't put your that. Don't... Don't. Mercury may look nice but bad for you. Go on. There are more moves on a chessboard than particles in the universe. That puts you off learning it, don't it? Well no, it's the possibility. No, no, that said it is. It said that. Yes, that's right. It's the possibility because it's basically that it tends to

infinity because no two games are the same. So it's not that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you've are the same. So it's not that you've got to learn that many moves. I don't wish to criticize Rick because I know you were trying to inform him then. It's a good job you're not a teacher because as you gabbled the phrase it tends towards infinity. Yeah. It kind of came out as, you know if you're the tha, because, tha, tha, tha, I, I, tha, tha, I, tend, I, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, tend, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te's to study and they you know sometimes they put the tape recorder by the lecturer. Yeah. Listen back to that, Robert. It's something towards infinity. I'm not sure.

It tents towards infinity. It's talking about tents. I did not understand. Coo. So yeah, we've all, we've had a a a a the the th. We've all. We've all. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tod. tod. tod. tod. today. today. tod. today. toda. today. tha. today. to. to. to. to. to. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. t. t. t. t. t. t.......................................................................................................... time. We've had a great time. Can I just say to everyone? Have a great Saturday. All right, see you like the thorns, you play the thorns. I love the thorns. I think you'll enjoy this is an old track from Hawksley Workman. Brilliant. Bad name, good song. See you next week.