The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S3E6 (December 6, 2003)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

During the hiatus, Pilkington signed on with Gervais and Merchant’s talent agent, and negotiated a deal with XFM to get Mondays off in exchange for continuing to do The Ricky Gervais Show on Saturdays. This was a frequent topic of contention during this run with Gervais repeatedly accusing Pilkington of being lazy for demanding an entire day off on exchange for doing 2-hours of work on Saturdays.This show began airing again in November 2003 and broadcast for 12 weeks until January 2004 when Gervais and Merchant went on hiatus to film series 1 of their new show, ‘’Extras’’.

Jet, are you going to be my girl on XFM 104. I'm Ricky Jovey's with me Stephen Merchant, over there, little roundy baldhead of Carl Pilkington. Good news and bad news, boys are back in town, we're here for two hours. Bad news is, we have no monkey news, gay fellow news or little Chinese fellow news. We're going to try and leave that for a week and then maybe come back to it. I was scary. Why do I get the feeling that within 20 minutes are we talking about little gay Chinese monkeys?

Carl, think of that. We have got Monkinews. Have we? Oh yeah. So we've already broken that from it. Oh okay. I thought we're going to try and sort of talk about something else. I've just done Jonathan Ross show and they don't talk about the same things every week. It's weird. It is weird. Or as Carl says, weird in it? Yeah. So I gave this show about five plugs. Nice one. So I think we'll get upwards. I the the the the the the the their their their their their th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I'm tho. I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I' th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm just just just just just just don't thin. I've just don't. I've just don't. I've just don't. I've just just don't. I've just don't. I've just don't. I've just don't. I've just don't. I of 800 people listening. Oh, double. For the first two minutes? Yeah. And then turning back? They're already switching over there.

I'd have thought so, yeah. I sreddhred to my friend yesterday. He's a little bit of an old fellow, had it in the right frequency yeah. I mean pointless, completely pointless, but not dissimilar to this show I imagine in terms of the number of listeners. Yeah but I was saying what's the chances of people having this frequency on absolutely pointless. So it's probably like the same yeah. When I was young I wanted to get into radio I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was excited. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was a to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. the thi. the the thi. the the thi, I was, I wanted to get into radio, I was excited on radio when I was sort of in my, I don't know, he was 11 or 12. My friend and I, we got a little mixing deck and we used to host our own radio show. Brilliant. From his bedroom, we didn't have a transmitter. So we'd put some speakers in his front garden in some bushes and sort of broadcast it to people who were walking away. Again, probably over the the the week. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th. th, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, we'd, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, it never happened, I always was hoping that some, maybe some girls would just come by and just like sit and listen,

these guys are great. I don't know where the sounds are coming from, it seems to be that that bush but... Or Noel Edmunds coming along going, who are these guys? Yeah. Can you get on my touch on? Can you get on? Can they stand in for me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I the. I, I, I the the the the the the same. I the same. I the same. I the same. I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. did normal radio but he had an eye patch on. Go on. Dad was in hospital, right? And he was having some operation done, right? And, uh, went to see him. And I didn't have that much to say to him, right? So I was sat there, well, it's awkward though, and it went so boring, isn't it?

Boring. So I was flicking around on that little radio thing they have. And he had a radio station in the hospital. So I said, oh, I'm going to go and join this. So I wandered off to go and find it. So I joined that. Did a little show on there. I thought I can sort of get out to get out the mass. A mate their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thia. thirty. So. So. So. So. So, thirty. So, thirty. So, thirty, thirty, their their that. So, their radio station, their their their their their their their their the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio the radio their their their their their their their their their their their their th. So, th. So, th. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that. So, that that that their their, did a little pirate radio show from the... Got kicked out because they found out and apparently I put the station at risk because all the stuff could have been taken off us. But from Little Lakeorn, 16 years later he's on a show with less listeners. Yes. Brilliant. Can you imagine if you've got into hospital, you're already pretty depressed. There's the fear of these bugs, super bugs in the hospital. Yeah. Maybe, the fear, the fear, the fear, the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the stuff, the stuff, their stuff, their stuff, because, because, their stuff, because, because, because, because, their stuff, because, their stuff, all, the stuff, all, all, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff. the stuff, the stuff, the stuff, the the the stuff, the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their stuff, they. their stuff, the st. the sta, the sta, the sta, stuff, the st, maybe you've got some quite serious illness, you know, you don't know if you're going to make it. His voice is what you're here to cheer you up.

All right, weird, isn't it? Sort of a program about a parasite on the night. Yeah, apparently they're getting through your eye and eat the way up through your genitals. Anyway, here's radio. Yeah, exactly. Play a record, the the the the the the th. Classic. Stone Roses, falls gold, XFM, 104. Brilliant.

Can I ever notice you've brought some sandwiches in Rick? What's in there? Cheese and onion. Yeah. Because I've never ever seen you make sandwiches before. I've seen you take a loaf, a piece of bread out of a loaf and sort of fold it in half, crumbs everywhere. Well, Jane made that for me because I was in a bit of a hurry. I didn't think for a minute that you made it.

Why is it looks neat? Well, there's they're wrapped in the tin, breaking it in half, and Albert's steptoe. Yeah, brilliant. Yeah, nice. It's great, but the onions are strong. Are they? Making my eyes water. If I can't breathe on you, yeah. It'll cure any sort of skin disease you might have. Skin disease. We watched that, um, Carl, you know, that, Carl was raving about that thing, about about worms coming out of your brain and I watched it. What is this is a TV show? Yeah, it called Body Snatchers. And it was pretty fascinating.

And I mean amazingly shot as well. I mean it's got to win an award for photography. And there was one bit. And there was one bit that, this little girl had been neck like a boil and they pulled it out and it was like like a bullet this maggot and they put it down and it was rigging him in her blood right but the hole left was sort of aesthetically pleasing you know that like I once I had an ingrown hair and I quite liked it when I pulled it out and it's a perfect little hole and I thought I wouldn't mind having those as long as they sort of like healed over a little I don't you're the th you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th I th I th th I th th th th th th th they're th they're th I th th th they're th they're th like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th th they're they're th they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they're they they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th th th th thin th tho tho tho tho tho tho thooo thoooo they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're those as long as they sort of like healed over a ratio. I don't know, it's weird, isn't it? But why would you want a hole in your body?

No, it's quite pulling something out, sort of like, putting something out of your body? I don't know what you're talking about? No, but it's sort of like, but it's sort of like, I don't know, I don't know what for ages and I'd never had spots but maybe that's it. I didn't have spots. Right. And I always thought that would be nice squeezing a spot. I don't know what you're talking about. Why would these things be pleasurable?

Why would a hair? Why would a hair? That's great fun? That was good. Because I got it. It was like a little lump. what you mean? I get thick hairs down there, like really... Oh and when they come out it's like a bit of wax, like putting out a little candle. I love that. What? Yeah. Because I've got no not much hair on my head, right? It sort of grows thicker

on my face. No, not true. that. No, it does. No, true baby. No, no evidence for that, just made it up. So it grows sort of thicker on the neck and that and now and again I'll see like something that's like a twig, right? It's really thick. Yeah, you feel it and think, oh I'm going to have that and then you work at monkeys and gays every week. Right. Because this is the sort of replacement. This is what we've got if we're not talking about them. But it was great as well. And there's this parasite, right, that lives in a fish, right? And what it does, it changes the fish's behavior. Because to breed it has to get its body temperature, so it has to get to get its to get its body, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to get to get to get to get to get the body, to get the body, to get the body, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get their, their, to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, if their, their, their, their, their not their not their not their not their not their not, their not their not, their not their not, their not talk talk about about, their not talk about, ta, ta, thaugh, ta, to ta, to ta, to ta, tha, tha, tha, tha, thtemperature so it has to get into a bird. Sorry what needs to get into the bird? The parasite?

To be a life cycle. So it changes the behavior of the stickleback and it makes the stickleback sort of suicidal. So the stickleback doesn't flee when it sees a heron, it gets caught. Right. Because this stickleback has changed the behavior. I was, Carl, I don't the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. than, than, than, than, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the behavior, so the behavior, so the behavior, so the the the the the the the the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, than, than, than, the, the, thease.a, thea.a.a.a.a.a, cha.a.a, cha, cha, cha, cha. Cha, cha, ch it. I watched it and you see like the fat fish and that and you go, oh, it's not well. But I don't understand... Well, all it does is it has to get into a bird because it has to breed, to lay its eggs, it has to have a raise of body temperature, so it has to get into a bird which is warm blooded. There's lots of things, certain that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it has, it has, it has, it has, it has, it has, it has, it has, it has, it has that, it has that, it has that, it has to to to to to to to to thi, it has th. It, it has th. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to to to to to to to to th. But, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to to that, that, that, that, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that, to to to that, to that, that, but, that, the that certain things at that level. Why? Why is it doing that? Because it needs the temperature, it needs the heat energy for its reaction. Just like, for example, that's why your balls are on the outside.

Because the cells have to be a certain temperature to survive. I think, I don't know if it's the sperm or sati cells, but they have to be a couple of degrees below body the nads. What do you mean? That's why your testicles are on the outside of your body. They have to be a couple of degrees below body temperature. Yeah, but it's not, that isn't why they're there. That isn't why they're there.

You see, that, the giraffe, the giraffe, have you their that. It's not a will. The balls didn't say, look, I'm too, what, let's get us outside? Let's get outside of here! All right, hang on a minute then. So a little man monkey, right? Theirs are in the same place as ours. Yeah. But they're walking around naked, so it could be like on the back. It doesn't matter where they are. They call it. Well they could could are are are are they're are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're walking. they're walking. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the doesn't matter where they are. They call, well they could be on the back, yeah. So why aren't they? This is a completely different... Steve? You started it? I'm washing my hands on the whole affair. And we're not only back to bulls, but we're back to monkey ball. Yes. In one thing from about parasites, we're back to monkey ball news. Yeah. All right then, so this thing, this worm, this worm, this worm, this worm, this worm, this worm, this worm, this worm, thiiomomomomomom. How to be back to chim-testicle news? All right then, so this thing, this worms and a fish. Yeah, it's like a little platy helmet, I think it's some sort of...

But what I mean is, why are they about? What do you mean? Why? They evolved? But why haven't they died out? Because they're very successful? Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah.

What do you mean? Tell me the brain event that made you say yeah in that one second gap. In a way I don't get it, and if I think about it too much, it hurts a bit. Ha ha ha ha! I've just been around for years, Carl. Yeah, like Cliff Richard or something like that. Yeah, they'll listen to me. Forget about tomorrow. By Feeder, on XFM, 104. Carl is in some pain now, isn't it?

What angers me is the fact that the listeners, at least they get a record. They get three minutes where they can just relax, they don't have to listen to this drivel. I've got to sit here for another three minutes why you try and explain to this idiot why we have a parasites and why we have fish and why we and it's part of the ecosystem. He's going, but why is a parasite in a fish, in a her and back in a fish? And I said what's the point in anything, right, apart from the balance of the ecosystem that survives at any time. And then Steve went, Carl, you should have done this when you're in six form,

questioning the point of life. Yeah, you could have had these existential questions you know when you were younger did you ever used to lay awake at night thinking where the universe end? No. I did that one's about six or seven for about a year but when someone said it was... He was like the wake up thinking where does Manchester end? I assume it goes on forever. They've made a map for the for the universe. Yeah well yeah to it as far as I can yeah. Big is it? It's massive. Yeah. But if you're that lost, do you know what I mean? Forget the maps are going to help you. Sure. If you're that lost, forget it. Look, we're never going to make it. We're not going to live for 100 like years. We're not going to, of course they could dumb take a shortcut the wormhole, couldn't you? What's that? Oh no, no, no!

Let's not talk about the universe, please. Let's talk about something that you can comprehend, Carl. Were you on Richard and Julius today? Yeah. Tell us about that. It was good. It's a bit surreal. Yeah. I really, there's something charming about them, do you know what I mean? They go off on tangents, they sort of digress, they suddenly think of something, she suddenly

go, oh, my jump is itchy or something, you know? And it's quite charming, it's not annoying at all. And I'd never seen the through before. I thought I didn't insult them because I said it was like an adult blue Peter. Right, but um, in what way? Well they had a, they had a, um, a Christmas rapping competition. Then they had, uh, then they had a, a Christmas rapping, yeah, and then they had a, uh, what the French people are like. There was a little, didn't quite understand that, living in France. Then they had a woman who, um, relived Elizabethan Christmas. The bit that made me laugh was, she sort of announcing this through an Elizabethan microphone and PA to all the people sitting around at rest.

I'm getting confused. It sounds funny. It was good though. And at the end I said, I'll be washing a tortoise and that. And the producer said, if you do want to make something for the show, we'll definitely feature it. So I might make some of those things tha things things things things things things things things things things things things things thages thages thals thals thals tho tho tho th. I th. I that that that that that that that that that that that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I'm that. I that. I that. I of those things that you used to work on Blue Peter, like sending, you know, I remember they made a chest of drawers out of three match, match boxes for Barbie doll or some or Action Man.

I seem to remember them showing you how to make a dusty bin once. What on, on, on, uh, yeah? I made one. I made one. I remember I haven't watched. I've their their their their their the chea. I've made one. I've made one. I've made one. I've made one. I've made one. I've made one. I've made one. I've made one. I've made a their. I've made a their. I've made a c. I've made a c. I've their. I've made a ch. I've made a chast. I've a chast. I've a c. I've a c. I've a c. I've a c. I've a c. I've a chea. I've a chea. I've a chest. I've a chest. I've a chest. I've a chest. I've a chest. I've a chest. I've a che. I've. I've. I've. I'm. I'm. I'm a ch. I'm a ch. I'm a ch. I'm a ch. I'm a ch. I'm a ch. I'm a ch. I'm a ch. I'm a chast. I've made. I've made. I've made. I've made a chast. I've made. I've made. I've made. I've made a chast. I've made a chast. I've made. I've made a chast. I've made a chast. I've. I've made a. Really? I haven't watched me Peter obviously for like 25 years, but is it the same sort of thing? I think it's pretty much the same now? Yeah, they sort of, occasionally they'll have kind of larger sort of dramatic scenes. So that all the cast were kind of out, sort of murder mysteries and stuff like that. Oh yeah. There's a bit more of that going. Do they're more about their throwns. Do they still still still still still still still still still still still still still still. Do they still. Do they still. Do they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thinks. I thinks. I thinks it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty it's pretty they're pretty it's pretty thinks I thinks I the same they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty. I I I I I I I I I they're they're they're pretty pretty. I I I I I they're they're they're they're thi. I they're thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi's pretty pretty much pretty much pretty much pretty much pretty much pretty much pretty much the same pretty much. I thi. I thi's pretty much thi. I they're pretty they're in like sort of nappies or whatever they call. And they're playing the drums, and you see them from behind playing these big drums, and they've got shiny buttocks. The lights really pick up their arses. I think they've kind of funked it up, since we were younger,

because I remember, then he needed it with a larger one, and we'll just drive them around the studio for me. You're growing up now since Cullin with Shep. You might die, you might not. But I always wondered if perhaps the people in charge were not perhaps dying with the kids. So what they were. I don't they were. This week, theykeets. the kids. . their, but, but, but, but, but, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the........... the.. the. the...................................................................................................................................................................................................................s. Never watch Magpie. No, I know I got it wrong as well. I did used to watch it but I used to watch Blue Peter. I think I was conned. I always feared, because

she with the Blue Peter I felt like I was learning something. I imagine on magpie it was just you know, Mr. Tee came around or whatever it was a lot more cool was it in here. It on tell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened to looking? I don't know, excuse me the Junior TV Times, I don't know. There's probably people listening, you've never even heard of looking. Is that what it was? Apparently so? But there was cartoons and things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was just basically an advet for TV? Look, yeah. Did it have like a lo'erunardy strip or something? No. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's probably th. It's probably th. It's probably the they's they's probably they's they's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, the the the th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's probably. It's like. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably. It's like. It's like, th. It's probably. It's like, the th. It's like, the the the th.the world? Not dissimilar. Brilliant. Yeah, yeah. Hey, I've had five kids, next picture, bought one of them a guitar. Next one, we're at number seven. Yeah. Brilliant. Next week, Tina Turner. I love the fact that Five Star is still touring. There's only three of them though.

Really? They're still called Five. Really? They're still called five. Yeah, I thought there was four Boni M's at one point, tribute acts, that each one of them had a fifth who was someone who wasn't the original member of one of the Boni-M's, just just out of a splinter group. It was ridiculous. Yeah. I don't know how many there are now. I was thinking what we should do on this show as well, is I have a doctor. Rightock's there the doctor can I go well let's ask doctor right and he goes they're there because I know and we need a doctor probably a vet some sort of vet or a naturalist we're good and what else oh and a physicist or something or an astronomer what do you think Carl I'd love that would you really yeah yeah are is there is there any doctors listening of course there as if a doctor would listen to this if the if you are to to to to to to they. if they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I to their. I to to to they. I to. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I's. I's. I I I I I I I's. I I I I I I I I I I I I. I I I I I I. I. I I. I. I. I the. I the. I the. I they. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. to. th. to. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. this. If you are a doctor, I want a qualified doctor, I don't mean someone who's in their second year at medical school. We're not interested in that. A qualified doctor, a GP or any specialist, and you maybe want to contribute

regularly, give us a call. We'll even give you a special phone line and stuff. Yeah. Not for now though, we're going to get a lot of mentalist, aren't we? I would adopt a non-diplume, an alternative identity because your patients are going to flee if they find out you listen to this trial. Exactly. What's the phone number, Carl? Well they might as well just email in with the number, aren't that? That's because you don't like answering the phone? No, I just think it it it it it's th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. No, thi. No, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th Carl. Something to do with, uh, something to do with, uh... something to do with, uh... What thing could they say that we'd say, well he's definitely a doctor, we wouldn't know that, think of something? Well, I'm not a doctor, so... We're on the radio, Carl, when ask you a question you've got to speak. I know. I'm just thinking, I don't know how you'd know. Because you never ask them, do you need their help, you don't think are going now before you do with this, do you know what you doing? But saying that, right? Go on. Talking about this other day. Oh, what was it now? Oh, go on. This fella goes., listen, do you want, let's just, alright, all right,

this fella, he's got it now. This fella goes to the doctors, right? Oh, right, okay. Right, if this isn't any way apocryphal, stupid, illogical, impossible, right, you are never, ever speaking again on radio. So make sure this is at least possible. I'll th you what, I'll even give you improbable but possible. So if anything that breaks the laws of the universe or logic, okay, that's all you have to avoid, on you go. Right, so this fella, right, he goes to doctors because he's got ear

ache, right? Okay, if a chimps living in his brain, that he's got ear ache, he's he's all bunged up and it's hurting a their a their a lot and it's hurting, he's hurting, he's hurting, he's hurting, he's hurting, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's to, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, so, thi, th. So, thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, so, so, so, so, so, so, soo, so, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, soo, thi, thi, tooing, tooing, tape, tooing, tooomomomorrow, tooing, tooing, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, sooing, he's sat in the waiting room and his ears all bunged up and it's hurting a lot and what have you. So the doctor comes out and he goes, I'm going to let's just make a minute, right? And because his ears all bunged up, he doesn't hear it that well, right? So he thinks it must have been me, right? So he wanders keep going, keep going. Anyway. I'll tell you, I'm going to to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to hate to to to to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. to say. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. K. K. their. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. K. their. their. their. their. their their their their th. th. th. th. thoooooooooooooooome. Hea. Hea. Hea. He's. He's their. Hea. He's. He's going. He's going. He keep going. Anyway, I'll tell you I'm going to hate this. I can just feel it in my bones. Steve, I'm going to let you take over. Okay, let's hear it. So the doctor says, sit yourself down there, right? So he sits himself down, he goes, right? Take your pants off, right?

So he's thinne. He apparently took his tackle off. The doctor like did some operation. What, they're in the waitman? No, in his office. In his office, yeah. What? So he removed, what? His genitals? Yeah. In his office. Why, why, Carl? Because he hadn't called him in. Oh, he'd called in a bloke who wanted his testicles taken off?

And he didn't do it, you, yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! What, yeah? Why, the, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the doctor, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. the the the the the took, the the took, the, they. the the took, the, the, the, the the the the the took, the took, testicles taken off and he didn't do it you you yeah what so the doctor went out and said mr. Jones who's here to me to whip off your cock and balls just here and now right bloke comes in it must have been me so the bloke with the boy wanted his balls taken off didn't say oh I think he he said me so he so he's didn't interruptthen, so the bloke goes in, he starts taking his testicles off and he doesn't say I'm here for me ears. It's a new single from Snow Patrol and Run. That's brilliant, and it's good stuff. On XFM, 104.9.

Rick, go on. I'm a today. I'm a today. It's the new single from Snow Patrol and Run. That's brilliant, isn't it? Good stuff. On XFM, 104.9. Rick, go on. I'm about to say three little words to you that I've never said to anyone before. Go on. Carl is right.

On what, though? From Reuters, someone's emailed in. A Brazilian man who went to a clinic to have an aching ear checked, ended up having a vasectomy after mistakenly believing that the doctor had called his name. He had gone in there, entered the vasectomy room when he was called, he was called by the full name and yet thought it was him, but the strangest thing is that he asked no questions when the doctor started preparations in the area which had so little to do with his ear. He later explained that he thought it was an ear inflammation that had got down to his testicles. And the fellas came off. Extraordinary. All right? I'm stunned. Amazing, isn't it? But there's lots of things that keep coming

true with Carl's nonsense. There's a program on next week, the boy who gave birth to his twin. Oh. And he's there. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they- like, they-like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, on next week, the boy who gave birth to his twin. And he's there, he's like pregnant with his thing, you know. How long ago do we do that? Yeah, you discussed that years ago? When I talked about it, it was a baby who had a baby. Now it's a boy who's like a grown man and that. It's took them ages to sort that out. I did it in one one one one one one one story. Right? Keeps happening. We've done like Donald McIntyre's thing, right? He's been ripping us off.

I did Cheapers Chimps. Yeah, he's been doing it. No he hasn't. He has. He has done some programme about how much it cost to get a monkey in that. Right. What else have we done? He believes this? Yeah, yeah. There's loads of stuff we've done like that. You had the maggot coming out of the head?

I laughed you, yeah. Didn't, in the program, didn't see him wrapping the end in bacon, but I mean that principles there. Bob Holness has ripped off, rockbusty. Yeah, and he ripped you off years ago. Yeah, he's been written you off for years, which is even more annoying. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th you thuuuuu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thi thi thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thin' thin' thin' thin, thin, thin, thin, the the the the thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' the an the an the an thin, didn't. Yesterday, you know, Rich and Judy gave you the tea-picked by monkeys. Yeah. I told you about that. Are you the last week of the week before? Yeah, and then you also told me that there's a place where they grow coffee, where the weasels come out and eat the coffee. Right, but they have too much of it, get you to be in vomit, and they sell the vomit, because it, because it, because the vomit, because the vomit, because the vomit, because it, because the vomit, because the vomit, because the vomit, because the the the the their their, because, because, because, because, because, because, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, together, their, their, their, their, their, their, the coffee, right? But they have too much of it, get you three and vomit, and they sell the vomit because it makes the coffee smoother.

Weasel vomit? Yeah. Yeah. Absolute shies. It's not. It's not. When you say it like, it's not. It's ridiculous. they say it like, they're ridiculous. Why if they say it up then, because they're they're, their. their. their. they're, their. their. they're. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's, because, because, because, because, because, because. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. their. It's. their. their. It's. It's. It's. It's. their. It's. to. to. too. too. It's. It's. their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's to it. You get addicted to it, don't you caffeine and that?

Why do they stick it up then? They have too much. Is he tired? They can't sleep. They sort of... They're tired. They're not sleeping. So they get ill. It eventually wears to that's been opened.

Carl that's for the treatment of monkeys but he immediately thought it was run by monkeys in white coat did he really? Yes and he was disappointed because it wasn't. He was assuming there be little janitors, is that what you said? Yeah, little janitor is mopping up. Carl? Little chimps with the thi. Yeah, clear. Yeah, exactly. Brilliant. He was almost angry. Yeah, disappointed with it. And what's this about Donner Air giving a baby to a gorilla for a week? It happened? No, it didn't happen. She had a baby. They went on the honeymoon. They left it to a little gorilla to look at it. Don't talk. Don't talk! Oh God!

The people online now so they can have a look at on and over. Do you want to give some stuff away? Do you want to give some... He believes it and that's it! But the more these things sort of like pop-up come true, the more worrying it is. The more worrying it is for everyone. Imagine if Donore had left her baby to a gorilla. It's... It's. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tha. I tho. I to to to to to to th. Do. Don't. Do you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to her baby to a gorilla. It's absolutely, it's libelous. You're saying that. It's libelous. It's not, well you'll, someone will send it in a bit and then you'll feel

daft again. So I'm not even worrying about it. Okay. Right, you've got some rubbish to give away? Yeah, we've got some stuff to give away, uh, DVDs, stuff like that. Well, let's play a record. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. Someone th. th. Someone th. th. th. th. Someone. th. Someone. th. Someone. th. Someone. th. Someone. th. Someone. th. th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. Someone's the. Someone's the. Someone's the. Someone's the. Someone's the. Someone's. S., a couple of them in there. For 49? Yeah, Supergrass. Yeah, excellent. What is the competition, incidentally? Doing songs of phrase. Oh. Supergrass late in the day on XFM 104. And there's too much to get through here, Rick. There's too many things we've got systematically... Am I going to eat my words? Well, before that, you know, we get emails all the time, they're coming through all the to' thrown. I open them, and I open them, and a lot of them, because everyone's contributing, because, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, because, you, because, because, you, because, because, because, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, too, to, their, to, tho, too, too, too, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, too, too, to, to, to, and, and, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, too, th. And, too, too, thi. And, too, thi. And, too, too, thi. And, thi. And, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, thi. So I tend to open them quickly. I have a look, see if there's anything we can sort of make sense of and close him again. Sometimes Carl looks at the emails as

I'm opening them. One opened just a minute ago. Did you saw his face? His face. Yeah, his face was just stunned. He was absolutely dumbfounded. It was like he just sing something extraordinary, right? And you closed it quickly. I'll tell you why. Right? I always bear mind that Carl's mind works. All he saw was the name of the band that this email was promoting. So all he saw, all Carl saw, and you can imagine how excited he was, was all he saw was half man half biscuit. That's, that's all he saw I've never seen anyone so excited Oh god! It was actually just plugging in the popular joke novelty band

How are you the end of them then? Ah, fuck. Ah, how excited he was. That is fantastic. Man half biscuit. Brilliant. Mr. Garibaldi. Oh, half-man, half-biscuit, that is genius. Oh, amazing.

I just saw it, and when you closed it again. Yeah, but the thing is, if he hadn't have told you that, and he'd have erased it, next week you were saying, about what they've done in scientists, they've cloned a man with a biscuit. He's got currents for eyes. Never go swimming. What? Okay, anyway, just to, uh... I don't know what the world's coming to, but someone sent us a link to one of the web news pages. Go on. The headline, Donna Eyre to hand her baby over to a gorilla.

Well, it's not, it's not going to be what he thinks. Well listen, Donna Eyre and her zoo owner boyfriend, Damien Aspinall, intend to place their baby daughter in the care of a gorilla. The couple plans to put Freya, who was born in September, in the gorilla enclosure at the zoo near Cantermary. They will then let her be carried off by the female of the group. Neither parent has any qualms about letting their daughter be taken off despite five keepers being killed by animals at Howlitz and his sister's park since 1980. I don't understand. What do you mean? Well, that's it. That's it. That's the newboombube and they're going to put it in a grip. But I mean... Well he said why would I not trustust thuuuuu their th th th th th th th th th th thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu they thu- thu- thu- the the they they they're thu- thu- they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th th th th th they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're they're thi. they're they're they're thi. they're they're they're they're they're theyust them. I know them, I grew up with them, they're my friends. Yeah but I'm not saying that they're aggressive, but it might roll over on it or something. I don't know, take it up with them. I mean Donna Ayer is not the brightest spark in the box. No, but I don't think, you know, that would in, she'd in danger. I mean they must know someone we don't. I still don't they don't they don't they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just. they're just they're just they're just. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll they're they're they're they're they're they would exceed in danger. I mean they must know someone we don't. I still

don't I still can't believe they're just going to leave the gorilla with it. Hmm. Why would you though but why would you? Even though it says well it's cheaper than the babyseer? Well I don't know well how cheap is a gorilla babyseer? Carl knows because there's probably some sort of organisation. Right are we... Competition there, come on then, what is it? Songs a Phrase. Remind us of this? We got the film one coming up later as well.

But Songs of Phrase is the one where... I take a popular phrase from the show. Well no, it's not a popular phrase from the show. It's sometimes something you said once. There's this air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air. this air air air. There's this air. this air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air air this air this air this air air air. this air. this air. this air. of songs, so you know I make up that sentence and you have to email in with the artists that you hear. What's the popular phrase then? What's this popular phrase that's sweeping the nation? Uh, it's what we talked about last week. It's, uh, my girlfriend had a problem with

a marrow. Right. Yeah. All right. She wasn't your girlfriend. She wasn't your girlfriend. Yeah, but I the the the the the th. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. What. What. What's. What's. What's the the the p. What's the p. What's the p. What's the p. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. So. So. So..................................................... couldn't find a sort of blind date or whatever. So, uh, so seven artists it's taken to make up this. My girlfriend had a problem with her marrow. Well, that's at least eight, so. Well, maybe not. I think I've managed it in seven. Anyway, here. Oh, what the artists.

Let's get a pen and paper and make a note. What artist are you hearing here? My... What the artist? What the... Tomorrow? Very good. Oh, okay. So, what, what the artist?

My... My girlfriend had a problem with her marrow. My girlfriend had a problem with her marrow. We want the names of the artists. What can we win, Carl? Can I just recap that story? The girl can't want to be a blind date. But when he found out that this girl had some sort of bone marrow problem, he said he didn't want to see her anymore. What's the point in getting to know someone that's going to die? Yeah. So just that's what you're dealing with. That is what you're dealing with with Carl Pilkington. Would you buy a car with a duffengen? Yeah. At the third point. Ricky Dr Vrills on XFM 104.9. I'm Ricky Javais with me Steve Merchant. Over there, Carl Pilkington, the man who believes anything. I think it might be a condition due to his little round head. It's sort of like, it might be a new condition that we can call cranial spherity.

And it because it's it presses on his lobes and the only sort of upshot of that is. He's normal and everywhere but he leaves everything he reads or sees on Anna Nova. All right. Talking of which I don't really follow the news. It's mainly boring in it wars and stuff. But I don't, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's thi. It's, thi. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, thi. It's, the news. It's mainly boring in it, wars and stuff. But I don't know... Well, yeah, what it is a war, it's just... It's all this nonsense before and after.

When it's a war, it's you know, it's in the middle of the war, you can watch it on tele, you get results, do you know what I mean? Do you know, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is.... It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is all. It is all. It is all. It is all. It is all. It is all. It is all. It is all. It is all. It is all. It's all. It's all. It's all. It is, it is all. It is, seemed I thought just generally it was better presented than the previous one because I remember the first goal for it was often during the night and I couldn't stay up. Yeah because I think the American had rights to it like the Tyson fight so we had to get it at two in the morning which is annoying that you know their prime time in that a lot of it was in black and white is when when the b. I think there's been awards. Yeah, well I like the same. So like Channel 4 won for cricket. Yeah, I mean a few times as well I was quite pleased to see

you know they actually had footage of the bombs exploding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, good, well done. Gets a lot. th got something like you know a Jimmy Car Game Show which probably costs about underground yeah like half an hour of war cos millions it's almost expensive with like Terminator 3 or something yeah but I mean you know but then you know you got a variety sorry see you're talking about I just just wanted I just wanted I just wanted to just want I just wanted to make sure you're aware that the world elephant polo

championships have taken place I did did get it. I feel that mentioned, yeah we won, didn't we? England won? Yeah. My question is, where have they been practicing? I don't know. Do you remember it whatever at school, anyone ever saying to you, are you interested in playing polo with elephants? Do you do you reckon it was five blokes in Pithermit? It's kept sneaking into a whipsnade? What are you doing lads? We're practicing. Get, get down, get off them elephants. Yeah. I genuinely, I don't, I didn't even know he had a team. I can't believe, no it's like Johnny Wilkinson in the rugby lands, they're going to get MBE's all sorts. The elephant boys, the elephant polo boys, nothing. They're going to have nothing. I don't think you, there's a stick long enough, I think the elephants kick it, don't they? I think you might be right, I think they're not allowed to use their tusks. They burst it, weren't they?

I think, oh, oh, Rahim! Yeah. What do you mean the elephants kick it? All right. All right. I know normal polo on a horse, they have like mallets. Yes, they whack them. But I think obviously they're too high up. I think, I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they just train the elephant to kick it. So why are people something about why not just let them have a kick about without...

Imagine that! And why does horse race have to have a jockey? Well, they just let the horses go, I know, okay lads, no cheating, on your mask, get go, you know, get back here, get back here. Brilliant. Why do you think? Just, I'll tell you what, now, I'm going to be like a teacher now. Why do you think? Uh, thi'n't they're going to be like a their their their their to get, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, which hand they sort of go in? Which hand they've got to get the ball in? Sort of. Yeah. Yeah.

How do you, how do you sort of steer an elephant, as it were? How do you ride an elephant? It seems quite a complicated procedure. I don't imagine they're quite as versatile as a horse. No, I mean, you can't look how you, I mean you have to have a huge playing surface wouldn't you? I mean these are big creatures. Yeah, they use Kent. Yeah, and they drop two big, huge jumpers. One in either side, one in south of Kent, one in North Kent. And it takes days and days. And is there the full, is there like 11 on each team. Yeah and one on the subs bench. Exactly. And it keeps breaking, the bench is broken. Yeah, terrible.

He's living because he's never getting chosen. No, he's never getting chosen, yeah. Well he doesn't turn up to training. Of course, and he's never going to forget. He's down at the lake. Down at the lake. When they should be training, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th to. th to. to. to. th the. the. the. He's the. He's to. Oh, hang on, I must tell you as well about Lord Admiral Nelson's erotic letters. Go on. They've been sold at last for £17,000.

Send him out of them. I don't know about them. Who opened them that should have? They got sent to someone else. They weren't even addressed to you. They were meant for Lady Hamilton. They were meant Dear Lady Hamilton, a bit of a problem. Just the one hand. You might have to help me out on a couple of believers.

Yeah, and the one eye, so I'm not appreciating the 3D. Exactly. I don't care where you put it. Yeah, go on. Yeah, did me. Exactly. Go on then. Of course he ended up kissing Hardy, didn't he? Did he kiss Hardy? Did he ask him when he never did? Well I don't know, I don't know about this, because I don't know, I don't know, and he didn't, and it said kiss me, me Hardy. And then I heard that he did dying breath was no tongues. Yeah I'm not sure.

And someone went, kiss you what? Exactly. Yeah. That was his nickname? My name's Smith? Yeah. Kiss me Hardy? I wouldn't have thought so. I'll kiss your lips and you'd be happy with it. But yeah. I'll touch you Hardy. But I'm not kissing it. Go on. A couple of quotes from there. This is him writing to Lady Hamilton who he was having an affair with. I can either eat or sleep for thinking of you my dearest love. I never tou-skid, even pudding. I think we've all written a letter like that to a letter. That's a euphemism. That's like, I think that's, I haven't eaten, by the way I haven't haven't even knocked one out. Yeah, exactly. You are gonna get a sackful. All right, Carl? You're a little producer, is this all? It's all euphemisms, I've not said anything wrong.

Go on. Oh come on, it happened in the 19th century. Yeah. We can't talk about it. Anyway, sorry, we better get back to the competition. I'm worried that we've lost sight of that competition, because I'm not going to lie to to you, we've had no entries whatsoever so far. I can't believe that, because I actually got up most of those. That's actually a more accessible one. I think I know all the artists and I'm stuck on girlfriend, but I think I might know

what that is.'s a pretty accessible one. I think that's a pretty accessible one. An accessible quiz? Yeah, so no one's, is the email up or no one's listening? Well, I think there's a little bit of that. But I think we've accidentally closed down the texting. So if you're texting in, don't follow the rubbish. This is rubbish. It really is awful, isn't it?

Yeah. Just play it again. Hang on on it. My... I tell you what it was, we didn't give out the prizes were going to be. That's the reason. Yeah, I think I think the emails are going to go on mental when they... When they find out it's the first series- the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their is their is the first s- the first series of of of of of of-oes of of- thoes of open thoes of open thoes of thoes of thi is to open too going to be. That's the reason. Yeah, I think I think the emails are going to go on mental when they find that it's the first series of open all hours on VHS they'll be flooding in. Let's see what we got in. And a Bridget Nielsen video. Exactly. Oh, no actually it's not too bad. The best air guitar albums in the yeah, that's still going. That's still going that's ever going. That's a a a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. that's that's going. their. that's their. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. I. That's. That's. That's. I. That's. That's. That's. I. That's. I. I. That's. That's. That's. That's. I. I'm. That's. I'm. That's. That's. I'm. I'm. That's. That's. I'm. That's. That's. That's. I. That's. That's. I. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's.green. That'll keep running and running. Some kind of anniversary box set of a Doctor Who episode with a small model car. No one wants that, baby. I'm Alan Partridge Series 2. That's worth having obviously and Porridge Series 3.

Okay, good. If not watched all of them on UK Gold. Then we're my DVD. Something wrong with you. So yeah, let's hear it again. All right. Bye. I'm with him. With her

Tomorrow. Just name the artist. That's all we want. You see the artist. Ricky. Joveys at XFM. took. Play record.

Right Adams? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is absolutely fantastic. Beautiful. Yeah, you'll be loving it. You'll be loving this. Radiohead. Radiohead. Fake.

Radiohead. Fake plastic trees. An XFM. 104. Someone just emailed in and said, uh, just want to know what you think of that cover of Wonderball. We told you. We said it was great. Yeah. Listen. But they must have been listening to hear the song. Yeah. Extraordinary. Although maybe they just turn off. When we start talking? Yeah. That would make sense. I mean, it would make sense in a sort of preserving

of sanity type way as well. Objectively, Rick, if you were listening at home, if you didn't know us and you were listening to the show, would you bother? I know that's a hard thing to get your head roamed? It's difficult to say, isn't it? I've no idea. I've no idea what people come in. I've no idea. I've no idea what people. I've to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thathea. If to listen. If to to to listen to to to to listen to to listen to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to listen to to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to to listen to to listen. If. If th. If th. If th. If th. If thi. If thi. If thi. If you thi. If you thi. If you thi. I thi. If you thi. If you thi. If you thi. If you thi. I thi. If you thi. If you thi. I get sick of you. Yeah I get sick of me. Sometimes I got a couple of... It's weird you say that because someone's emailed in. Yeah. A recent survey has been done by Chatham and Gloucester. The most desirable neighbor in Britain.

Number one. Shane Ritchie. Johnny Wilkinson. All right. It doesn't actually give me the full rundang, but David Beckham was in the list. Yeah, he's flying at the moment. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. the. the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I' the. I've the. I've to thr. I've to to to to theeeeeeea. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the list. Shane Ritchie was indeed in the list. Yeah, he's flying at the moment. As was Ricky Gervais. Really? Well, that's what it says. It doesn't tell me where you came though. And there was actually a neighbor from hell and you weren't in that list. Well, I'm a good neighbor. Oh, come on. I'm quiet. I never... I'm never... nightmare. Yeah. Most desirable friend. I'm a good neighbor. I'm quiet, you know, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I imagine being stuck in the room with me writing all the time with me squeaking like a chim. Unbelievable. Although I don't physically abuse you, I save that to my bald mates like Carl and I just like to squeeze their head. I don't squeeze your head. You know what I mean? I think it's because you command a little bit more respect. Ah, thanks very much. Do you know what I mean? You're not that sort of... You're not an idiot. Sure.

Alright, Carl, got anything to say? Has anyone seen this picture in heat this week? It looks fantastic, doesn't it? Do you know what Steve said when he saw that, Carl? He said, it has captured the pictures, you know how like a good photographer can do that and capture the essence of someone? That's good stuff. It's good stuff.

Well actually I'm the photographer. He's got a screen grab from the behind the scenes footage. So I got that gimpness. I captured the essential gimposity. The, uh, yeah. Carl. All right? Yeah, well, I did a little article for time out and I think Boyd from Heat is sent over that screen grabs to them. So he might be in time out. I'm going to try and get him in every publication for one year. It's like Dave, well, you've managed it in the last two weeks. Exactly. It's like a Dave Gorman project. Are you, are you Carl-Ca, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, the, the, th, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th, th. th. th, th, th, th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I Let's do that, shall we? If anyone's got a

publication, it doesn't matter how little, just take it from heat, that's mine, so you're welcome to it. Just try and just put his picture in anything, next to round things is best, isn't isn't it? That'll be good. You're right, Carl? What have you got for us, Carl? News headlines? They're on that, sort sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, that, if. that, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if. If. If. If. If. If. If. If, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, th. If. If. If. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. that, th. that, th. that, th. that, th. th.? They're on that sort of been that much going on. Sure. Sure. Sure. Because I look for good headlines and that don't are that sort of get you're interested like the...

Well then when you're interested you don't read on? No I did. Okay, go on. Like the one, do you know I read out a couple of weeks ago, that was man man man man man man man, that was, that was, that was, that, that, that, that, that, that, the the one, the one, the one, that, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one I the one I the one I was, you the one, you the one, you know, you know, you know, you're the one, you're the one, you're the one, you're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo in dump for 10 years. I remember the Chinese woman eats dirt. Yeah well that was a cracker. Man lives in dump for 10 years. I read on with that one yesterday yesterday yesterday. I found it in my bag because I took it on so I'll read that when I read that one news. I might read last Thursday sun just to catch up. Do you know how he got caught? What do you mean how he got caught? He lived in a rubbish dump? He lived in a rubbish dump. No one knew he was there, right? He was living off food that had been chucked away. He said a lot of people took away stuff that isn't off so you can survive on that. He had a nice little place to sleep and that and old mattress that was all right and stuff. Got away with it for ten years. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th th th to th to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to th. No tho tho o' thu. No thu thu thu thu thu thu thu th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th. No th th th th. No th the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to celebrate Bonfire Night with some fireworks.

He's happy that. Well, he's happy that the gunpowder plot was foiled and the Guy Fawkes was beheaded thus saving our system of government. There's got to be a cover news headline surely. Hold on, wait a minute. BONG. Piss penis man off the hook. BONG. Man change his name to bubbubbubbub.

Bobbbub. BONG. Dwarf to live in a glass box. Yeah, it's meant to be art or something. It's not though is it? What? It's meant to be art? Why is it?

Who's I do? Or is it someone hire the dwarf to live in the box? It's just a box? And he can even leave when he wants, apparently. He can let go, I'm hungry. I'm going for a walk and a little. nurse you might end up in four bits so just be careful. But to me that's like that thing when I said to you about the woman in the jar. What woman in the jar? The woman in a jar they go oh come and see the woman in a jar. It's a big jar. It's a big jar. It's a big jar. It's not a big box he's a small fella. It's a small fella. what's a big box thiiter. What's a th. What's a th. What's a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. they. they. they. they. they. they's a they's the the the the the the the woman. the woman. the woman is the the the the the the the the the the the woman is is the woman is the woman is the woman is the woman is the woman is the woman. the woman. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the woman. the the the the the the th. thin. that. that. thr-in. theat theat theat theat theat. theat theat the thea. the theat the the thea. the woman. the woman. the want to do though to compress matter? But hang on, it's not a world record-breaking attempt, it's supposed to be art.

You know, what's art about that? What's art about that? Oh, can we do a show for BBC 3? Carl Pilkerton going on what's art about that? That is brilliant. What's art about that? I'd love that. Would ya? I'd love that. We and Steve were going to do a thing called Is Art Rubbish, where we'd go around and we chat about it. Yeah. But we can hand that over to you if you want to do that. If anyone from BBC 3 is listening, Carl Pilkington, what's art about that? All right? Weird, isn't it? And what would you go around, like sensation? And what would you go around like sassy, and that, and that, and that, and that, and their, and their, and that, and tha, and th, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, and we'd that, and we'd that, and we'd that, and we'd that, and we'd that, and we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd th. We'd th. We'd tho, we'd tho' tho' tha' tho' tho' that, we'd that, we'd that, we'd from Mildred. What's art about that?

I'm butchered does it? All right, weird, isn't it? What do you make of Dally and the melting clocks, all that stuff? Talked about it, aren't we? I told you, yeah. What did it? What did you? What did it? What's it? What? What's the that, the that. It's that. the that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. It's, that. It's, that. It's, that. It's, that. It's, that. It's, th. It's, th. It's, that. It's, th. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. What, th. What, th. All, th. All, th. All, th. All, th. All, th. All, the the the the the the the the the the th. All. All. All. All. All. All. All. th. th. It, th. It, tha. It, tha. It, tha. It, tha. It, tha. It's, the tha. It's, tha. It's, tha. It's, tha. It's, tha. It's. It's, tha. It's. It's, tha. It's, tha. What. What. mean? It's like... It's like you with the monkeys? Like status quo? Yeah or... Yeah. Sure. What's your favorite artist?

Don't say Lary. Why is Larry your favorite artist? Capture's life, don't he? Going on and that? In stick form. I know you're a big that's not Wally, that's a stain on the table. You've come off the book again. Listen, are we, are we doing Watson a bit?

What? What? What? We don't know what you're talking about. What? What? Yeah, we'll be doing Watsy. Yeah, what's it coming up after the film thing. The film thing. Oh, idiot. Libertines, don't look back into the sun on XFM 104. I'm Ricky DeVos with me, Steve Merchant and Carl Pilbton, Carl, have we got the results? Yeah. Go on and what are they? Uh, so on the thanks. Uh, so on the the Sun on XFM 104.9, I'm Ricky the laised with me, Steve Merchant and Carl, have we got the results? Go on then, what are they?

Uh, song's the phrase. This was the phrase, Steve with the songs. I... I... ... I'm with her... My girlfriend had a problem with a marrow. The answer is Sinatra, Prince, Bill Medley, you two Chirles, there was also dub pistols in there. No one got all of them, Carl, obviously. But we'll give it to Mark Cantan he got, what did you get about six or something?

Well, don't he's from Dublin, so that's nice. How's it? Listening over there, the Irish. Yeah. That's good all that's nice. I was listening over there, the Irish. Yeah. That's good night. Um, a German man, just thought I'd let you know this car, Ricky. A German man has been arrested because he taught his dog to give the Nazi salute. And then he made it do it in front of two policemen. I think it's an offence in Germany now. That's a fascist with too much time on their hands. No but is it it it's illegal for a dog to do it as well. I think so. I bet he thought he'd found a loophole. Yeah, yeah. I mean he's

been dying to do it but he thought well I'm not allowed to do it. It's a legal for a human to do it. Yeah. Thought he got around it I thought he got around it I don't know about it. No. Don't do you're. thin. they. they. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. th. th. to do. to do. It's. It's. It's to do. It's to do. It's. It's to do. It's to do. It's to do. It's to do. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. I. It's. I. I. It's. It's. I. I. It's. I. It's. It's. It what were you telling me about the Germans earlier? He was saying something about the accent. It's fine with bloke but not with women. You won't want to go up with the German woman because the accent. I was just saying it's a bit manly, isn't it? Sure. Is it?

Yeah, it sounds a bit hard. romantic language now it's quite harsh yeah but that's our no but what I mean is right I can't speak any other languages apart from this one well right I struggling with this one yeah and what I mean is whereas you really do speak the language of love all right there's some condoms where's me tea yeah what I'm saying is if a French woman was talking she might be saying really nice stuff. That's what I mean. But then we got talking because, do you know like my brother was... Sort of a prejudice really, isn't it? In a sense, what do you mean?

In a sense, it's racist, but anyway, on you go on. It's not really, is it? But, uh, yeah, my brother was in the army, we've talked about how we got kicked out for going for a packet of flags in a tank and that, right? But he was, when he was in the army he was based in Germany for a bit and he used to be one for sort of picking up the ladies and that. He always had you know new girlfriends and stuff. He's just tugging to him. He just got through loads of them. Well I didn't, I wasn't that bad. Well no, you've had things like, you've had a a trouble. they. they. they. to. to be, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I, I'm, I, I was, I was, I was, I'm th. I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I. I, I. I, I. I, I. I. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, th. He was, th. He was th. He was th. He was, he was th. He was, he was todd. He was, he was, he die I'm not interested. Yeah but no matter what he did, do you know what I mean when he was a bus driver he was one of them who always had a woman still at the front with him and sort of you know having a chat and stuff. Sure and he sort of got a,

he was the bus driver? Did he own the bus driver Germany and the army people say to him now we know what you like Pilkington right that's Pilka don't be uh don't be meeting up with any german lines leave the frown lines alone not allowed to go out with German women because they apparently they get you and then they beat you up and that what the German women's what the German women why? What the German women? What the German women? What the German women's? Why? Go on? Don't know, they just said don't, because they don't like English army man. English army people and that. Why? See, I don't know.

See, I don't know. See, I don't know. They don't get out with the German, go beat you and that. What is that? What worries me Rick is we've got the face, the body language and things to try and interpret this gobbled to yuk. The listeners did you have a word? I mean it must be, I know, yeah. It must be just ridiculous for a listener. Right, just do the competition. What was that anecdote about? Don't go out with German women there, beat you up. I'm just saying if you're in the army army army army army th army th army th army th army thi army thi thi th. If you're about th. If you're about th. If you're about thi thi. If you're about thi. If you're about thi. If you're about thi. If you're about thi. If you're about to to thi. If you're about thi. If you're about th. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It must thi. It must thi. It must thi. It must thi. It must thi. It must thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th It's not going to happen. Wise words there, wise words.

It's like this stationed in public service. Excellent, okay. Right. Uh, can we just play a song and do the film thing? No, just do the film thing now? Oh no, let's play a song. What are we playing? Better brag.

Yeah. So it's cold? It's called the Saturday Boy car. Faddle it not. Billy Bragg, the Sunday boy on XFM 104.9. Ricky's laughing because he's just thrown something at Carl. It might have jumped. Yeah, that's worked well. Here are the prizes for the film quiz thing which I think is what it's called. Brilliant. People would be loving this. It's trance anthems. It's trance anthems. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. We've got a lot of trance fans listening. The best air guitar album obviously. The best club anthems. Yeah. The best their the best their happiness by Paul White House. the the the th. It is is is is is is. th. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's. It's is is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the tr. It's tr. It's tr. It's trance. It's trance. It's trance. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. People., we've got teachers, we got Knowing Me Knowing Knowing You, not too bad, yeah a few bundles there, good stuff, Christmas gifts and things

like that. That Knowing Me Knowing You, I've noticed it on VHS which is good. Yeah, exactly. That's quite quaint. Excellent. All right. Yeah, so what's the, explain, the conceit of this is... Don't I tell you what a film is? Because that might be the question thinking about it. Because there isn't that much going on in the clip.

I think we need to know what the film is. Do you? Yeah. All right, it's Rain Man. Okay. Why is he called Rain Man? Is that going to be the question? Yeah, I know the answer, Carl, don't you the film? thrown. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thr. the the thr. the the the thr. the the th. thi. that, the that, thi. thi. the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thr. thr. thr. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. things. things, things, things, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah I know the answer Carl don't worry don't look at me that. Oh well then, yeah, you watch the film, yeah, you should. Right, so it's you Carl in the film Ringman. Yeah, it's a bit when Tom Cruise is in the doctors with the, with the ill man. All right? There we go. You ready? Well I'm not a psychiatrist, but I do know that his brain doesn't work like other people. Wait, I am sat at it. Don't go talking about me like I'm some sort of div kid. Got a good brain. Works well, it stores all sorts of information and stuff, don't it, Tom?

He, uh, remembers things, little things, sometimes. Don't say like that, little things, as if it say like that little things as if it's stuff that isn't important. Are you good with numbers? The doctor's asking your question. Yeah I know I'm just thinking. Good with numbers. It depends. I know that good at maths, but I remember facts that I've got numbers in them like I know that one person in two billion will live to be 116 or over. Weird thing is a lot of them are Chinese, so you know, sort of makes you wondrous the lion.

I'm afraid I don't understand what you're talking about. What you mean you don't understand what you're talking about. What do you mean you don't understand? It's not... All right. Here's an easier one for you then. Goldfish have better memories than people think. He's right? He's right? Yeah. See, there you go. Uh, goldfish related.

Oldest goldfish in the world was 41. No. Yeah. Funny thing is there, if it was a golffish with a dodgy memory, it could have been older, could have been, you know, pushing 45. That's amazing. I mean that is amazing, he should work for NASA or something like that. Well, I don't go that sort of things, you know, they're the sort of things I like reading about, you know, I've got that big book there. Uh, it's full of sorts. Did you read all this? Yeah, don't... You read all these stories that are in this book.

Don't bother toucester. Maybe you better put it back. Give it back. Go! Okay, no, right. Take it too'n't. the touch. Can I answer something else, Raymond? No. You've annoyed me now. You've kept coming here saying I'm daft a lot and messing with my book.

Just go, will you? Excuse me. Were they messing with your big book of freaky facts? Yeah, that's out of order. Good. So what's the question? Why is he called Rain Man? Yeah? Everyone happy with that question? Yeah? Okay, Ricky Dr. Joveys at XFM.co. Why is he called Rain Man?

Right? Yeah. That's the time. X-FM. Got through another one. Bad day, R-E-M. X-FM. 104. That's nearly it, isn't it? Got through another one? Got through another one? Seemlessly.

The film is, obviously we had just moments ago. It was Carl featured in Rain Man Man The question was, why is he and the film called Rain Man? The answer, Ricky was? Well, Tom Cruise's character, when he was little, couldn't say Raymond. He used to call him Rain Man. Okay, plenty of right answers, but we're going to give it to John Steele, who interestingly is from West Yorkshire, he's listening. Yeah, it is. That is interesting. It is. So that's pretty much much th. Is th. Is th. Is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the their the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the answer. the the answer. the the the answer. the answer. the the the the answer. the the the the the the answer. th. th. th. thr. thr. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the. the. the. th. th. the th. That is interesting. It is. Yeah. So that's pretty much that. Is there time for Monkey News? I think we've got to have Monkey News. And then that second track from the Ryan Adams. Let's play the jingle though if we can. Oh, chimpanzee that monkey news. Right. Now, it's back in the 1980s. Right. So it is quite topical then? When did this happen then? 1980s? Yeah. It's about a Colombian F1 sort of

you know Formula One driver. Apparently these races were going on, right? And someone kept winning them. Ah, right, okay, forget it. Forget it. No, don't do it. It's because it's rubbish. Because it's rubbish. Right, so someone kept winning the races. So this, um, this someone, this human, this human being that kept winning the races, Carl, what was his name? Um, his name is it? It's Jimmy something. Yeah. How told him? How told him? No, no, no, no, I'll do. Let's hear the story. Was he about four eight eight? So, so? So, so the the th. So, so th. So, so, so, so, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the the human, the human, the human, the human, the human, the human, the human, the human. So, the human. So, the human. So, the human. So, the human. So, the human. So, the human. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the, the, the, the, the, the, the human. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,, let's see the other story. What was he about four- eight? You might find out if I tell you the story. Right? Go on.

So anyway, he kept winning and everyone was like, oh, he's brilliant, this guy who is he and all all that. But his gimmick, right? Was never showing, never showing his body or face? That's right. Never took his helmet you know the short trousers he used to wear? You know his trousers were about a foot long, but his shirt, the sleeves are really long. Anyway, right, so because he wouldn't take his helmet off, he was in, it was taking part in like the F3, which is like the lower ranks of Formula One and that. Just get to it. Everyone thought it was like a a famous driver. Just get to get it. Everyone to. Just. the, just. the, just, just, the, the, the, the, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their th. the. the. theeat, their s sleeves, their s sleeves, their s sleeves, their their their their their their their their their what happened was, there was a crash one day.

And the car tip over, everyone's like, oh. He ran up a tree? So, they're suspect when he ran away with the ambulance, people up a tree and sat eating a banana? So the marshals ran over and the ambulance, the ambulance were there and they were about to take his helmet. He was like, don't take away the secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret secret that. Yeah, Chimp. Yeah, took his helmet off. Jimmy Chimpus. Little Monkey under there. No, definitely not. Okay, let's play Ryan Olo. Did he survive? Let me just cover questions.

Did he survive? Yeah, he did. Yeah, he was allowed to keep all the awards. Sure. But he wasn't allowed to take part in any other races. This is a song called the Shadowlands also from that Life is Hell album. It's good stuff. Idiot!