The Ricky Gervais Show / An Idiot Abroad - Xfm S4E4 (June 18, 2005)

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

Gervais, Merchant, and Pilkington returned to XFM following the completion of ‘’Extras’’ series 1. This time, they recorded only 6 shows before Gervais and Merchant left XFM for good. The show would later continue as a podcast, with no further association with XFM.

Footh Fighters, Best of You on XFM 1 and 4.9, I'm Ricky Jervais, with me Steve Murchant and Carl Pilkinton. All right? Carl's on a bad week. I'm just satisfied away. There's a, he's a, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's got a bit too much stress this week, haven't he? One a phone call from his to stressed him a little bit. Right. Something he said in a magazine about his auntie, came back to haunting.

Aunt Nora. Yeah. Don't name her. No, no. Okay, we won't name her, right? We just say it's the one who fought for five minutes and as he sort of saw a skirt when he was young. And I found out like a split tennis. So it could be any of me, auntie's? We're that coming up. And also a bloke in Times Online, Chris Campling did a review of the show. Right. And basically said that Carl Pilkington is a creation of Jervais and Merchant. Well, if only that were the case. He said, um, he started off saying he liked the case, he said he started off sounding like the show, he was excited,

so it was a good show, a lot of the jokes. I'm already questioning his critical faculties. Yeah, exactly. And basically he said that we didn't contribute much or seemingly didn't seem to contribute much and I, and we couldn't sort of like ad lib or anything. We just laughed at, particularly me, laughed at Carl Pilkinton who was coming up with some, you know, quite funny stuff. But then he has a twist on it, he goes, but the thing is, we're the puppet masters, he's a created person. We've created the persona, Carl Pilkington for our own amusement. Right. He bases this on simply that we talked about, what was it we talked about? The Chinese, C. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I was, C. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. thin, th. their, their, thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their we talked about, the Chinese not aging well,

and he heard him talk about that on my DVD. But clearly I say, Carl, remember when you were talking about that, it's a news or remember in the week and so he thinks it's all scripted now. I'd be ashamed. If this show was scripted, I would send back the bafter's for the shows we've, the actual show, and the, the show, I, I, I, I, I, I the show, I was, I th, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was th.. I was, I was th. I was thin, I was the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd the show, I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd, I'd, I'd. I'd, I'd, I'd. I'd, I, I'd. I'd. I'd, I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd the, I'd the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. I'm c. C. C. I'm c. C. C. I'm the the the the the the the the the actual shows we've written and I'll say. I'm not having to go at Chris Campling. He's nice about our other work. He likes the office and he likes my stand-up and everything and he likes the show but he's saying because we're not squandered this and invented Carl. So he's like, you know, we've invented another Garre. If we had created Carl I would not have squandered a character that good. that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the th. I the th. I th. I would th. I would th. I would would th. I would would would the the the their like their like their like liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked liked the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I like. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I to th. I th. I the th. I th. I the like. I like. I like. I like. I th. I th like. Iered a character that good on this Poxi radio station. Absolutely. Also, does he know that we spend about three months on half an hour script, so how long does two hours of trouble? But the main thing is, as if this could be scripted? It's dreadful. It's shocking. Or maybe this is scripted. Hang on, you've lost me though. I don't know. What a belief? See the name, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you've th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Maybe I've made him up.

I don't know what belief. See, the name doesn't wash with me. What was his name? Chris Campling. That's something that I made up, isn't it? Campling's almost like a joke. It's almost like a gay name, isn't it? Oh, is it Campling? So I think this is scripted.

I think I've probably co-pant something better. Sorry. Down to the River by Bruce Springsteen on XFM, 104.9. So, uh, yeah, a little fella in the Times thought, the to'erreel was just a puppet. We created him, he's an actor. the, what's little fella in the Times thought, Kyle was just a puppet. We created him, he's an actor, what's his, what's his, what's his, what's his, an actor's

name? Brent Hogwell. We got him from, we got him from, we got him from a spotlight, Brent Hogwell. This stupid dopey man accidentally, he just, he's a Hugh Grant. Yeah. And we just, there's a whole world around him, we set a whole, what do you think about that? He had his head shaved, certainly. Exactly, yeah. So yeah, does he, would he think that, you know, maybe if he looked online and see me Ed and he's noticed how round it, isn't that?

Does he think it's sort of been, you know, morphed intoetic makeup like John Hurt in the elephant man. Everything about him was made up. Yeah, we created him we created him, we created, oh I remember coming up with Arnie Nora. Oh yeah, you said Rick we need another character. I said what about giving him an Aunt Nora. Doesn't sound convincing I said. Yeah and you say what is what is it about? I said well I don't know she farted for five minutes and she's got a Fanny Locker split tennis ball. No one's going to drink that. Yeah. Oh that brings us neatly. Well let's put that to bed now so Chris Campling, honestly, honestly we do not script this shambles of a show and Carl Pilbton really is like this. If you want to to at you, it's a very well-written article, it's very, very fair. I love it, just complimenting on his grammar. Yeah, very well I'm saying, we're

not having to go because it's tied that beautiful. It's not like he's slagged us off, but I would just love him to meet Carl, people in people. People in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, people in, th. People in, th. People in, th, th. People in, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th. th. th. th. th. I, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th. th. th. th. thi, just, just, just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. to to to thi. to to to thi. to to thi. thi, just, just, just, just, just, just's online, he can send in five subjects for Carl to talk about that we couldn't possibly know about. Just so he knows that we just really do throw things at Carl and that drivel comes out. Imagine if it was scripted. But anyway, so Chris Campling or anyone who knows Chris online get him to email us and with five subjects that Carl. It's a good idea, isn't it, Carl? It is like, I'm the elephant the elephant the elephant the elephant the elephant the elephant, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th about. It's a good idea, isn't it, Carl? It is like, I'm the elephant man the way I'm being treated now. Just the way of like, come up. I wrote that joke last night. Are you sure? It's, or was it yours?

I don't know. Car enters and says, I'm like the elephant man. Hey, let me just check the thr-of. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the that. the the that. that. I's. I's. I's. I'm, the the the the that. I's. I'm, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm thr. I'm ta. I'm tria. I'm just. I'm just. I'm. I'm. I'm just. I'm just. I'm tri. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm the the the the the th. I'm tell you what though Steve, I'll find out about the elephant man. I was talking to Ricky. What? You know the only bit that's, that was normal on him. Oh yeah no, it was in the film. You know that it was a bit in the film? I was watching it one day it was on and I said like your favorite films and it came to the bit where he goes, um, and strangely, the only thing that is normal is genitals. They're untouched by this disease. They are totally normal. Right? What did you say?

It's a bit annoying, isn't it? It's like the only bit that you'd want as an elephant. Sure, that stressful things. So anyway, what's the anti-Nora thing? Sorry, I should, anti-X. What did she, why is she upset? Well he mentioned her in zoo. It did just a thing for zoo magazine and he mentioned about when he looked up her dress it, it's she had a...

By accident, remember? No, I'm not suggesting you were going around looking up your elderly relative dresses in case they went around. For people who have not heard Carl talk about this in the past, just explain quickly again what we're talking about. Alright. Um, he didn't want to talk about it at all. When I was a kid, right, Aunt Nora used to come around, my auntie used to come around and that, my auntie used to come around and that, and stay, my the the the the the the the the the the the the tie, I, I, I, I, I, tie, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, tie, I, tie, tie, tie, th, th, thie, to to thie, thie, thin, to to to to to, to, thin, thin' thin' thirty, thee, thee, thee, thie, thie, thie, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, th, thie, thie, thin, thin, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, to me, to, to, to me, to me, to, to me, to, to me, to me, to me, ta, ta, My aunt used to come round and that and stay, right?

And I, uh, I'm sat on the floor watching the tele, right? She sat on the sofa with a caftan on. I turned round, right? And it was, it was there. I was looking back at me, right. And we've mentioned this, and I just, just really sort of said what did it look like and you know a split tennis ball came to mind that's what we talked about right so anyway zoo magazine when they did the interview she's the one that used to put a valence on everything isn't it well not everything

obviously So anyway, so I've done this. So he did interview into. And like they said, you know, do you, again it was like, you know, do you plan stuff and do you worry about stuff when, after you've done the show, you worry you've upset anyone. And you know, I was saying, really, I forget people are listening. And you know, we're just having a chat with mates and that. I said, but now and again, I do worry when I'm on th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. I'm th. th. th. th. the the thi the th. the they the they're they're th. they're they're th. they're they're they're they're their. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, so, so, so, so, so, they're they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they' they're, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm they. I'm they. I'm they. I'm thi. So, thi. I'm thin. So, thi. I've thin. I've thean. So, thi. So, their. I've their. So, their. So, that I said but now and again I do worry when I'm on my way home from the show on that and I'm thinking about what we've talked about and I was saying you know the anti-nora incident incident

incident yeah anyway so this was in there right and I was saying in the magazine you know but I think I got away with it she doesn't doesn't listen to the show but you know and I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I the th I th I the th I th I th I th th th th th th the the th th the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeate theyyyyyyyyyyye theee the thee the the the the the the the the was in there, right? And I was saying in the magazine, you know, but I think I got away with it, she doesn't listen to the show, but you know, and I don't think she reads Zoo magazine, so... She's more of a nuts job. Sure, yeah. So anyway, so my ma'am calls up the other week, right? And she goes, uh, wish you wouldn't, you know, I'm the thirty-a that. And I was like, how, so how do you know about that? She goes, well, one of your cousins have called us up and said they've read the article about it. So, uh, so yeah, that's why we don't want to talk about it. Oh dear. Oh dear.

So do you know what anti-X has made of this? Do you know if she was upset or not? Well she doesn't know about it. Because I mean maybe she maybe she she's always thought it looked like a split tennis ball. Maybe you're just in sync you know because your relatives and stuff maybe she knew instantly even if you hadn't named her she'd have to thrown. So you're gonna fight for five minutes once yeah yeah if that's not gonna be how big us is it if you're gonna the to be like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like a a a the the the to to the to to to that's. I I I I that's. It's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's th I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's th and find like a split tennis bottle. You're going to go, I wonder if he means me. You're going to remember that. Or a new Jackie? Could be a new Jackie. Oh God.

And he got in trouble. You know last week when he was going to the wedding? Let's talk about that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love it, in between days, XFM, 104.9, raised to between Carl Bilton. Oh, without you. Secure, Inbetween Days on XFM. So, Carl, you were going to a wedding last week?

Was it last week or the week before? No, it was last Saturday, right? And he went, he said, uh, looking forward to it. Now it's going to be boring. Suzanne was listening. Knows that the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple the couple, the couple, the couple, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the now it's going to be boring. Suzanne was listening, knows that the couple were taping the show, so she had to get in there before you, didn't she? She went up to her, he said, look, when he, you're wristened back to the show and he says it's going to be boring, he didn't mean you, he meant weddings in general. I love the fact she has to run around around and the the to run and the to run and the to run the to run to run their their their to run to run their their to run their their their to run their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape, tape, tape, their their their their tape, isn't it? And was it? Do you not like Willings? You're not a fan of them? They're only good for

the people involved, aren't they? What are you talking about? You're getting free food, free booze, free music? Yeah, but it's not, it's just all they're hanging about and there's loads of people there you don't know. Absolutely, I agree. Do you know, you've got a make an effort. Yeah. And even the bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. You're that that that that that that that the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they the. the bit that was important, right, when they were getting married, there wasn't enough chairs, because it was, you know, all the family gets the chairs, don't we? So I was sort of, sort of, stupeish. Selfish. I stood at the back watching. And I couldn't hear what was going on, and I couldn't hear what was going on. I couldn't hear what was going on. It was, it was slurping and that and she was like,

I just thought, how hungry? Is it? Could it not have waited? Because you've all got to wait for the buffet or whatever later. I don't know. But also just in this little was the tool. Wasn't the thing that annoysic that annoys me with weddings is the gift, is the gift thing, because like you buy these gifts, right, you spend a little bit of money maybe, you know, I'd

like to be a little bit lavish if I go into a wedding. Oh, no, come on, you get a gift, right? You're a laugh. And I don't know about you Rick, but I like to see, I like, I like, I like to see, I like to see, I like, I like, I like to see, I like, I like to see, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to to to to to to their their their, you, you, you their, you their, you the the the the the the the the the the the the the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the the the, the the the the the the the the the the th.. th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, you thi, you thi, you to I want to see that the feedback from that yeah this is very much I want to see what it is that's Jane bought on on you know he's got my name to it yeah yeah yeah because that's a times I've been oh thanks for the amount of the amount of the amount of the amount of the response you get absolutely I give a book token a shrug is fine but if I give you know a sizeable I want a the amount the amount the amount I the amount I the amount I the amount I the amount I the amount I the amount I the amount I the amount I want the amount I'm I want the amount I'm a the amount I'm a the amount. I'm a the amount. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the response you get. Absolutely. If you give a book token, a shrug is fine. But if I give, you know, sizable, I want to kind of, I want them to be showing it some friends, if it's a bar on the show, barman, I'm a big, strangers. Look what's the merchant got me, he's the greatest man in the world. Yeah, exactly. You go to a wedding, you know, with a gift, you know, you're their their their their their their their their their their their to their their, I, I, I, I their, I their, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want to be to be their, I want their, I want to be to be their, I want to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I their, I their, I their, I their their s their sa, I their srig. their srie, I their srie, I their srie, I their their sriven, I their their sribe, I want their sribe, I the bridegroom I want to give them this gift and some bloke, normally the brother-in-law says, oh no, no, no, the brother-in-law's mate. Yeah, sorry, they're too busy to see you right now. Just stick the gift on this big table with

all the other ones. Yeah, and they'll get back to you in a week. And they'll reference to, you know, to what you did, but it won't really be personalized. Yeah. The set of mugs, again will be in different times. Thank you, Steve Merchant, for your wonderful gift. We love mum. You know, and your yours. Exactly. And they, you know, they, they had a copy of signature.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's not, they's not right is it? Oh dear. And also of course as well if there's a baby involved, you know, perhaps they you know they had a kid out of wedlong and that's where they're getting married. There's normally the little baby signature as well. Oh, like the baby signed it. Oh, Paul and Charon. And little Billy. He's Ben. He'd been. What do you think? What did you think, Karam? What? Suzan sorted something something something something something something something something something something something something something sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort sort. S. S. S. Susan. Susan. the. the. the. the. the. the. that? Oh. that? Oh. that? Oh. that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. by the way did you? Suzanne sorted something out yeah well actually no we're going away I've been a week away with them but that's that's your gift yeah yeah

what you're going away no we're going away to Carmel's not and uh yeah yeah that's so we've sort of paid for the for a place to stay in there coming along and that and their gift is to spend to their their their their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're a place to stay and they're coming along and that. And their gift is to spend a week with you in a confined space. They'll have great time on that. Were they? Yeah, it's fine. Sorry, can I, can I, I'm making a note of how many times you say and that during today's show. far there's three I'm no it's three I'm just gonna go I need to look at it because I think we can have a competition here and you can predict how many

times he's gonna say and that the closest one wins some of the crap DVDs that we've got on offer we'll tell what we've got a lot of 49 definitely the X FM XFN 104.9. We've had an email Rick from Simon Wittaker. He says, it's throwing the question to Carl. Have you seen the video for that Benfold song where there's apparently a monkey working the sound desk and shifting the piano?

Yeah, you want to check that out. Talking to monkeys, working the sound desk. We've also had a lot of emails directed you, yeah, a lot of emails directed you Carl, asking if you saw this program that was on in the week, the, I think, I didn't see it, I think it's called the strangest, the strangest village in Britain. Did he watch it? He called me six times during it. Call me six times, Erudah. Now just explain briefly what this was because I didn't see Well it was a sort of an experiment, I think I can work out from the sort of 70s, and it was sort of run by what can make out, mainly sort of German Christians.

And what it was, it was people with various disabilities, mental illnesses, Down syndrome, autism, bewildered, you know, and they were living normally in the community. And there was 300 people in the village, half, and their thirty people in the village, half, it was a thi-and, th, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, from, bewildered, you know, and they were living normally in the community. And there was 300 people in the village, half had some sort of mental problem or disability, and the other half were sort of carers. And I mean, you know, it was very, very strange. And where is this village? It's somewhere in this place? It's up near Richie, right?

Okay. But he called me at various points when you're watching that.. And it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and the community, and the community, and the community, and the community, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and there, and there, and there, and there, and th. And, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And th. And there was, th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, there was, Richie, isn't it? You're right. Okay. But he called me at various points when you're watching that. It started off, he went, geez, if that's the beginning, what have they got coming up? Then there was two fellas, and it was the phone rang, and it went, what is going on? And it was two blokeh that's the thoke, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, the tho, the tho, they, they, it was, it was, it was, they, it was, their, and tho, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, their, it was, their, their, it was, it was, it was, it, it was, it, it was, it, it was, their, it, it, it, it, it, it was, it, it, it, it was, it was, it, it, it, it was, it was, it was, it, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, too, too, too, they, too, they.a, too, they. It's too, they. It's, they. It's, too, they. It's, too, their, it's, it's, Hott-Badde-loo and you go Hort-me-doh and you know it was an interesting programming I love documentary like that but what made it twice as good was that I knew that Carl was getting confused yeah he was getting there was one bloke that went around interviewing people and you just have a string of questions

and you go have you ever had curly hair what's your favorite favourite animal? Have you ever seen a badger? All right. And, um, come up, I was getting stressed. It was stressing me out. Because he was trying to think of the answer is quickly enough. Yeah, he was sort of saying, you know, uh, do you like, mosaic, and I was like, do you know, and the next question was coming in, the next question was like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I, I, I was, it, it, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, it, I was, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, I........ It, it, it, it, I. It, I, I. It, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, t. It was, t. It was, trying, trying, was, was, trying, was, was, was, was, was, trying, was, was, was, I was, was, it was, it, it, it, it, Ithing, I stress it out. But he said he wanted to go there, he actually said, oh could I go for a holiday there? And I went, well I doubt that. I don't know. Maybe you could go on a visit. Oh, that would be great, wouldn't it? For Carl to walk in there. But the thing about it would be like, Carl would be the ruler. He'd be the king. It would be that in the kingdom, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, the kingdom, the kingdom, the kingdom, the king, the king, the king, the king, the king, the king, the king, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't, I, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, well, I don't, well, don't, well, don't, I don't, I doubt, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't,that one old man is king. I mean he would just start. I don't know, there were some of them were quite clever.

Really? Yeah, I don't think he'd be, I think he'd be average. I don't think he'd... I don't think he'd shine. Yeah. I don't only go up, I will, and he punched her didn't he? And poor Nan got it in the neck from everyone. There was another woman bullying now, wasn't he that other? Yeah, but you like the little, the, the, the little dance-inded fellow with the woolly out, it was helping that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the they, yeah, yeah, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, the, the, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if the, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, if th, th, th, th, the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, they, th, thee, thee, they, they, they, they, thee, they, they, thee, they, thee, thee, thee, thee, th little dancing to a fellow with a woolly out who was helping that woman. If I went there he's the one who had sort of hunt down so come on it's got for a pint

or something. But uh... Incidentally, do you like Mosaic's? We didn't establish that. Uh, but he's still thinking about it. He's still thin. What was his name that one that fell over and then, um, proposed marriage? to to to to to to to to the to to the the to to the the the to the to the the to the to the the the the to the the the to the the the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. I, go. I, go. I, go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he was nice wasn't he? He's the one that fell over and then proposed marriage to that woman didn't he? Yeah. I remember, I was on a, I don't know if this is all right to talk about, I mean it happened so you know,

not what it's all right to talk about. But I was on the train right, coming from Manchester back to London right? And it got on it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the the the the the train, right, coming from Manchester back to London, right? And got on it, it was like a Friday night, and it was heaving, you know, like the last trainers and all that. And absolutely chocker, right? So I'm walking through the carriages. I'm thinking how is he in his seats anyway? Anyway, everyone's like, it's heaving, right? It's people stood up in the door, the door, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the... It's, it's, it's, it's, the.. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's heaving, right? It's people stood up in the doorways, you can't get in the toilet and all that. There's not going to be any chair knocking about him, walking through. And anyway, I see this one empty chair sort of in front of me, right?

Think, oh, why not anyone sat there, right? I'll just rush to that, get to that, I'll get myself a seat. round you know see how I'm facing you know see you sort of having a chat with little fellow there right little down syndrome kid right sat there and he he goes all right not not bad but do you know I mean they're always talking on you guys got a lot of questions right so I was like oh here we go two and a half hours and I couldn't get up because the thing is that's obvious sure right so that's that's like mean I don't I don't I don't know I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't I'm they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like they're they're always always they're they're they're always always they're always they're always they're always they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're always always I they're always I they're always I they're always always always always always they're always always always they're always always always they're always always they're always always always always always they're always always always always always they're they're always always always always always they're always always they're they're always always hours, and I couldn't get up because the thing is, that's obvious. Sure. Right. So that's like mean.

I never want to be mean, do you know what I mean? The end of the day. So anyway, so I think, I know, I'll go to sleep. Clever. Right, so I shut my eyes. So then my phone goes and I think right what do we do? Do I ignore it or do I open my eyes and see what it is? Anyway I open the eyes it's Ricky calling about nothing probably actually thinking about it wasn't even worth answering right so anyway I'm awake then aren't he so he's like hello and I'm like alright mate

and he says you're musely and he says you're musly. He said, you're musly. You're today. Oh God! And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, he goes, you know, why? So I said, no, just, just, again, stressing me out. Because we're thinking, why am I, why am I musl. I'm not musly, I'm in good shape and that I'm not so then he wants an arm wrestle. I'm a crammed train from Manchester so I've got another hour and half of this.

Well, you talk back he'd who'd have got up and left. If you'd have started asking him questions, he'd have got up and left with a dribble you come out with. So anyway, do you know when you're under pressure you're thinking, well, he's said that I'm musely, alright, so, do I do it or not? And there's people watching, you know, not joining in, not sort of having a So and he was getting loud and I thought I'd best just have an arm wrestle. What do you mean? What do you mean? Get it over and done with that. If he's going to keep asking I had another hour and half on the train.

Oh God. So anyway oh my god I'm thinking where people putting bets on how it was working it was stopped and just. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were just just just just just just just just just just just th. I th. I was stopped and I was just just just just to stop. I was just to stop. I was just th. I was just just to stop. I was just th. I was just th. I was just I was just I was just I was I was I was I was just I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I I was I was I was I I I I was just I I I was just I was just I was just I was stopped. I was stopped. I was stopped. I was stopped. I was stopped. I was stopped. I was stopped. I was stopped. I was stopped. I was stopped. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I was just just going. th. th. th. th. th. th. I had th. I had th. I had th. I had th. won. Well, yeah, I think were people putting bets on? How was it working? It was stopped and just as well really. Because when he was stopped, I was again. No, no, he sort of, he was winning. I was struggling a bit, right? And he was really like, you know, taken the arm down. Then he sort of let go and started laughing. And I tho th he he he he he he he he he he he was to to to to to to to to to to to to to go to go to go to go to go thn't thn't thn't to go to go. to to to stop to to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop to stop. to stop. to stop. to stop. to stop. to stop. to stop. to stop. to stop. to stop. He was just was just was just stopped. He was just was just was just was just was just was just was to stop. He was to stop. He was to stop. He was to stop. He was to stop. He was was to go. He was to go. He was to go. He was to go. He was to go. He was to go. to to to to to to to to to tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that, everyone's in the train looking and all the rest of it.

I never put it suddenly serious to him. He's got to win this. How can he just, then we were chatting about favourite food and that he liked sausages. And I said, you know, he said do you like sausages? Yeah they're all right, like a bit of Chinese and that as well. And he's saying, I saying, I saying, I saying, I saying, I saying, I saying, I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they said, I they said, I they said, I they're saying, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I th th th thin, I'm saying, I'm th th to say, he's to to to th. I th. He's got, he's got, he's th. He's, he's he, he's got, he's got, he's he, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He, he's th. He, he's th. He, he's th. He, he's th. He's th th th th th th th th th th th th thin, he's got to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that, he's got to to to to that, he's got that, he's. Why? I don't know, he just said, it's not allowed to have it. But yeah, I had a good long chat about stuff and that, but... So you enjoyed it in the end? In the end, it was all right, yeah. It's just... What did it?

Okay. No, but it's always awkward, isn't it? And that's the thing. You're talking about him now, are you? And I think I did all right because everyone else was ignoring him. But I probably made his day pretty good. Yeah. We were the ones' cloak. I like the idea that that newly wed couple are probably thinking that's going to be

similar to you don't do. The magic numbers, forever lost. I was taken on aware, because I was, I opened that, um, that thing, what is it? The confectionery? Well, we were sort of doing it ironically, like people getting shameless plugs by giving the stuff but then I opened it and it's brilliant. It is brilliant. It's all retro stuff. It's got a curly whirly, a fountain, a tourbent fountain, a fountain, I've just been eating a drumstick that I didn't quite finish in time. It's got some drum bottles.

That's hope and greenthat in the mix. I don't know, it's too good to give away. It's time for Rockbusters, the quiz that no one looks forward to. And we've got, as usual, the movie that no one's seen it. But it's owned by every single XFM listener. Exactly. Also in the mix, as I said before, we've got Priscilla Queen of the Desert, which which, if you haven't seen that on tele, I'm very surprised. French and Saunders at the movies all the French and Saunders movie spoofs which is I think on TV every single night. It's a very gay giveaway so far isn't it?

Las 49 and people in uniform you got Queen of the Desert and French and Sauners the gays love them. You know how much a fellow of Chevy Chakes? You know I love Chevy Chase? Well we've also got here in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2 which doesn't feature Chevy Che Cedd. It's. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. the the the the their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. th. th. th. th. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, their. Well, their's. Well, their's their's their. Well, their. Well, their. Well, their. Well, their. Well, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their's is their's their their last their last their last the. It's their last their last their last their game. It's their last last their guy's their givou. It's their givou. It's their Chase. It was so bad even Chevy wouldn't agree to be in it. So instead Randy Quaid who plays Cousin Eddie, it's him. And on the back I notice it says special appearance by Eric Ido. Brilliant. I mean let's be honest if a film's got a special appearance by Eric Ido. I know. It's probably not classic. Do you reckon they do always walk on them? Have nothing on the bright time life. Anyway, that's just some of the DVDs which you can win. Obviously the real reason you should enter is because you go forward to this big prize

draw which is in our last show where you can win some actual quality. Yeah, assigned Matt Groening drawing and if you can see him drawing that on Ricky DeWay's. It's totally genuine. It's just there him actually drawing it in front of your very eyes. Also us made as flannimimimim poster by Nigel Tuffnell, Christopher Guest. So proper good prizes. So this is, I think it should be the last one to get into it. Maybe next week, the four that we've got to get down to two maybe, and then we get them on the line and the last, what do you think? Well, I'll be honest, I wish we've thought it through. I don't know about you, but I wish we thought this thing could have run.

If you's got any ideas to how this show could have run, see we should have scripted this. We said we just said the go in a drawer, didn't we? Did we? We haven't throw it through though. We can't keep it through though. We can't do what we want. We can't do what we want. We can do what we want. We can do what we want. We can do what. We can do it. We can do what. We can do. We can do what. We can do. We can do what. We can do what. We can do. We can do what. We can do what. We can do. We can do what. We can do. We can do. We can do what we want. We can do what. We can do what. We can do. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can't do. We can't do. We can't do. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We can. We want. We want. We want. We want. We want. We want. We want. We want. We want. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've down to business then. Let's go down to rockmusters. Let's explain briefly what this quiz is for those that have only just started listening to the show. It's basically blockbusters. Well you say that Rickbuster's. But it's not. Is it? I mean that blockbusers. I mean that block bucusts. I mean that block it's. Kyle Carl thinks this is a crypt a a a crypt a crypt a crypt crypt a crypt crypt crypt a crypt crypt a crypt crypt crypt crypt a crypt crypt a crypt crypt a crypt crypt this is a crypt this is a crypt crypt a crypt this is a crypt a crypt a crypt this is a crypt a crypt a crypt a crypt crypt crypt crypt crypt crypt crypt crypt crypt cryptic cl cl cl cl cl cli cli cli cli cli cli cli cli cli cli cli cli. Kyle this is a cli. Kyle this is a cli. Kyle. Kyle this is a cli. Kyle this is a cl cl cli. Kyle this is a cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl. This is a cl. This is a cli. This is a cli. This is a cli. C. they's a cli-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-Trap-Sinner's? Some of them are hard because they've dug them all out. Some of them are hard because they don't make sense.

No, but they've dug them all out because they're going to put them all on the website for people to play along with and they Right then. So the first one then, here we go. Why don't you borrow some land off Mr. Boardman or Mr. Laurel or Mr. Fletcher? All right. Why don't you borrow a little bit of land? I've changed. Already. Already changed. Mr. Boardman. Well, no, do it again, do it exactly the same each time. Do it again. Why don't you borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some th borrow some tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the tho. tho. tho. Why. Why. Why. Why tho. Why that. Why that. Why that. Why that. Why thooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Why. Why tho. Why. Why.'t you borrow some land off Mr. Boardman or Mr. Laurel or Mr Fletcher if you need a bit of it?

What's trying? Okay and what's the initials? My LS? LS. That's a band or an artist. What am I talking about? Second one. I'm gonna... I'm gonna... He's got a sweet in his mouth, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna annoy those, those seabirds over there, right? Right? Right? I'm gonna annoy those seabirds over there.

Well, just the seabirds, it doesn't matter where they are. I'm gonna annoy them, seabirds. I don't know what he's talking about, he was the initial. I love the fact that he was fascinated by the strangest village in Britain, but the stories he's told us about where he comes from, there's him going around with two fellows with Big Ed's webbed feet, a little pigeon-chested bloke, him on his grifter with Maggie pecking at him, his dad in the telephone box, nicking and a horse in the house next door. I mean, how strange was his their thage. How strange, how strange, how strange, how strange, how strange, how strange, how strange was his his his his thian thinin, how strange was his thin, how strange, how strange was his thin, how strange was his thin, how strange was his their their their their, how strange, how strange their, how strange their s' up, how strange their, how he was his th. He was his th. Hea, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was his their, he was, he was, he was his their, he. Hea, he. Hea, he. Hea, he. How is their, he he he he he he. How is their, he he he their is their is his thin, he thin, he thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's their s' is their s' is their s' is going. He's thin woman who I remembered. Actually, I'll tell you later. Go on, what? I'll tell you later about another woman who were remembered. What is it? Give us a teaser. It's just a woman who rode around on a three-wheel bike with her husband in a basket. I'll tell you that and what. And the final clue...

Yeah, the final clue. What the scocefell said to the robber who he found in his house next to his vineyard. Oh Jesus. What? Right. So what the scostfellar said... Right, this is going to be a pronunciation thing. To the robber he found in his house.

Oh God, I've lost the will to live. I have lost, I want to get in that woman's basket on the three will just be driven around the lesson life. The initials are A.W. A. W. A. W. W. W. A. W. A. W. A. W. A. W. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. W. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. L. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A....................................................................................................................................................... XFM you can win Christmas vacation 2 and Ladder 49. Yeah, watch that man. David Bowie watch that man on XFM 104.9. Now, watch that man on XFM 104. Now, coming up, Steve, and listeners, I'm there, you know, I'm talking to them mainly. I'm not really talking to you and Carl really, but coming up, an old feature, Nob News. Oh, Nob News, the welcome return of Nob News.

Yeah, and Monkey News is still there, isn't it? Just briefly, you don't think you really gave that competition justice, did you not handing out the email. I was just quickly with the questions again, isn, isn, isn, isn, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to you, I to to to you to you to you to you to you to you to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to you, I to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the their their their thin, I'm thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not thin, I'm not the.a?? I'm not to to me, I'm not they justice? Did you not handing out the email? I'll just quickly whizz through the questions again. John's texted in by the way, he says I never get any of the rock busters clues. Is this a good or a bad thing? Definitely a good thing. Definitely a good thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, the people do. Mr. Boardman or Mr. Laurel or even Mr. Fletcher. Right. L.S. Second one. I'm going to annoy those seabirds. B. And the last one, what the scocefell said to the robber he found in his house next to his vineyard. A-W. If you know what they are, email in or text.

Tell us about the woman. What's the text quickly. Well about 83936 on the text. Ricky dotchubase XFM.K. on the email and that. Right, tell us about this woman. Well it was just because you were saying about the, you know, our live in that. We are broadcasting now, aren't we? This is actually going out, this is live. This isn't us sort of like...

Yeah, but you were just talking about how I lived in an odd village. Yeah, the kids with big heads and all that, right? And what I wanted to do? What is that again? There's two kids with big their. web dams and that and they went to my school and I got when I spoke to my dad the other day because I'm going to go out and see my mom and dad tomorrow so I said oh we've got any school photographs with the big-headed kids in and he said no nobody bought those sort of school photos because they

were in it so it was always a bit ruined but I said I said well no he said they said sales were you know because he he they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they to to to to to to they they they to they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were in it so it was always a bit ruined. But I said, well, no. No, he said sales were, you know, because he obviously talked to other dads and stuff like that. And he just said, oh no one, no one bought them. But anyway, so I would love them. Yeah, I that's why I'd buy them. Yeah, but I wouldn't stand out would her. If I had little piece. Well, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they would, they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd. they'd. they'd. that. they'd. they'd. that. they'd that's. that's. they'd. they'd. they'd. they'd. they'd. that's. that's. that's. that's. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they'd. they'd. they'd. they'd. I. I. I. I'd. I'd. I'd so I was talking about, you know...

When you say they had Big Ed's, what do you mean? Do they look like someone from Dr. Wu? Did we just, quite, quite big? But they weren't related? No. So why did two bloats with Big Ed and Webb feet? I lived in a weird area. There was a termical plant close by. I can't believe you've never told us that before. That explains a lot. Not just the freaks in your neighborhood but... There was loads of weird stuff going on. There was this, like I said, there was this woman who used to like live in one of the council flats

right and she had a three-wheeled, the three-wheeled sand. It was thought, like a big tricycle, but for an adult rather than one for a kid, it was a big one. It wasn't a motorbike though, it was a push bike thing. And she used to, uh, sort of ride down the road with a fella, with a fella, but it's like legs dangling over and the back, and it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, and it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like Was it a different fellow each time or the same one? Yeah, it's not a balladed fella. So it was in collection for like organs and things. Bring out your ill. And they'll just be able to just throw Grandad just in the back and go like, we're getting four quid for Granddad. But she's got a little.

He's got a little bit. dead or nearly dead. She used to pick on her husband quite a lot. They'd be in the pub and what I mean to be sat by themselves but she'd always be sort of you know having a go at him moaning at him, sort of pushing him about and that. So my dad and his mate, right? They went round to their house, knocked on the door. She answered and he said he was a copper, right? He said, you know, Detective Pilkington, gonna come in and have a word. So I'm just gonna make a note of impersonating a police officer. Yeah, he was for the good. He went in and so now I've heard you're picking on your husband a lot, we'll be keeping an eye on you,

do it again and there'll be trouble. And she backed off after that. She was all right. And that was the husband. Was he still in the basket though? Was he allowed to ever sort of like ride up front with her? Or was he just always thought it was. No, it just stopped picking on him in public places and stuff. That's good. You can't get done, can you just for doing that? I think impersonating police.. the police police police police police police police police police police police police. I obviously, the police. I was, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, their, their, their, their, their, their, was, was, was to th. th. Was, was, was th. Was th. Was to, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was to. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was. Was a. Was a th. Was a th. Was a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is total of the test. There was no gain. I think you can't impersonate a police of a full stop but I think they'd probably be lenient on him but he was you know but let's let's face it you know he's not gonna be caught because well we don't know but it's not like his son's gonna

say on a on a radio station is it and stitch him right up. Is this something you did generally? A little bit of a light vigilante work? Just whatever, when his mate, just, you know, if they saw something going on, they go, what can we do? What can we do? Or whatever. That's fantastic. That is brilliant. Right, okay.

Coming up, knob news. And monkey news. And the answer to rockbusters. What a show. I'm not sure what I say. I think they don't have for me. Sines LXFM by Snoop Doggy Doggy and Justin Timbletke and a bunch of other people. Rick is your thanks, Stephen Rochant Card. I was just enjoying that. Hope and Greenwood confectionery. Lovely. I wish I had something to wash that down with.

Well, you have a glass of lovely Ban Rock Station red wine. It's barbecue friendly. Yeah, perfect. Good, so I just keep sending stuff in. Free stuff. Good stuff. Carl, what are we talking? What we doing?

I've got something to tell you actually. You know we tease Steve about not ever spending any money. Careful, I'm careful with money, I'm not, guess what? He's treating it like, he's nurturing this, right? He keeps running off, right? In the edit, he's having a suit maid. And he wants to be just right, because I reckon he's forking out quite a lot. He's having a suit made. Think of that, him. Let me tell you this though, I don't want you thinking that I'm getting all flash with my cash. It's very hard to buy off the peg when you're six foot seven. So you know it was a necessity. Carl, I don't want you thinking that I'm off the peg generally but... Is it like properly done and that just... Oh yeah yeah it's the full it's the full thing.

The full works. Gotta keep going back for things they got that little bit of chalk you know the pins and everything. It's where I'm made you know how good I look all the time. If you have to have that thing done where they say What side do you wear your member? What side do you dress? They don't say what side you wear your member. That would hardly be a euphemism would it? So they say what side you dress there. It means what tie your little poke, your little, your little John Thomas, leans, isn't it? Usually to the left, isn't it? Your little left testicles. What do you know? What I said to you know, what you know? It would be the left the left the left the left the side the side the side the side the side th is would be the side th is would be tho, it would be tho, it would be tho, it would be thi, it would be thi, it would be tho, it would be tho, it would be tho, to to thigh, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, to say, toe, too, toe, to say, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their side side, their side side, their side, their side side, their side side side, their side side, their side side, thoomoomorrow, thoomorrow, thia? What thia, be left. It would be the left. That's what I mean.

I stand in there, right, with nothing restricting it or holding it in or holding it up, right? It sort of leans, your one ball is sort of like slightly back and lower, in it. And your little John Thomas rests there, so it's left. And the reason they ask it is so they don't put the tape measure up on the left and wash your wil the wheel the wheel the wheel the wheely, your your their wheely. their wheely. their their th. You, th. You, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, tho, tho, it, it, it, it, thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it's, it, it, it's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thin, thin, thin, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their they. It's their thin, their, their, their their, thin, theree. It's theree put the tape measure up on the left and squash your willy or touch your willy. So it's nothing to do with like well you'll need a bit more room of sort of more material on that side or... Well no I don't think they're compensated. It's just that when they put the... when they stick that up into your groin they don't want to come in contact with your thing is I don't know what side are wear stuff on I just sort of pull my pants up and wherever it wants to go that day maybe it's not big enough to sort of make any you know real decision but like now I'm sat here right with my jeans on I don't know where I am

well that's clear from there you talk no but what I mean is a fellow to me what side are you uh you know what signs you member on. I go... Member? What is this the use of the word member suddenly? I'd go, I'd... Well it's not, it's usually not appropriate and also I imagine in the old days they're big baggy pants and used to sort of like, and dang and now, you know, like with those stretched boxes and briefs, it's sort of held up in a come in contact with your little snake so you know did you ever do what have you ever

have you telling me a tailor has asked you that and you went what do you mean mate? No no I've never I've not really had one made to measure I had one made when I was a kid but since then I've sort of bought a suit the ork. But I thought when you were saying that buying a suit and all that question sort of crops up and I don't know what the answer is. It's just the noise with the way every, I don't know, there's no surprises anymore. Do you know what do I mean? People know. What do you mean? What do you mean? It's going to go, right, I'm going to measure it now? Which sides don't measure? Well, what, look? the, go. the, go. their. their. their. their. their. their. It. It, go. It, go. It, go. It, their. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, it. It's. It's. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just, it's just. It's just. It's just. It's just, it's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's just. It's mean there's no surprises anymore? What are you talking about? Everything you say is a surprise? Everything you say, every opinion you have, is a surprise to me. What I mean is, why aren't people just happy to go? Well, it depends, I'll just pull the pants up wherever it wants to go, I'm happy.

What do you mean? Why is this such a big issue? But Carl, when they ask you this question this this question this question it somewhere, it's not statistical research to find out what the kind of common leaning is. It's just, it's a question so he doesn't touch it when he's using his tape measure. Just be careful. But he is, but he is being careful by asking the question. But what's what's wrong with him touching it anyway? I mean, it's only like a slight. But if he just sort of, you know, knocks it a little bit, you can just go, oh, do that again?

To me, it's the same as the prostate thing. It's just happening all over again. But there, doctor doesn't go, oh, what side your ass on, sir? Trying to avoid the ass. He wants to go, he knows where your ass is and he's aiming for it. He's aiming for it for a good cause. This little fellow's going, well I've got to measure his leg. I don't want to touch the knob. I'll just ask him, sir, do you mind telling me where your cock is so I can't avoid it? It's a big difference. But like I'm saying to you, I'd have telling me you can't you don't know where you're not busy? Well what do you mean how out looking? How could... Well you're saying it

as if like... Should you have a guess? Well have a look, have a look and tell us where it is? What are you wearing? What sort of pants are you wearing? I've got my jeans on underneath them? Yeah. What are they? Briefs? their thrifices? Boxx of th. Box of th. Box of th. B-I I I I th. B-I I th. B-I. th. th. th. thinks. th. thinks. th. the thinks. their. their. their their their their their their their their thinks are their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I te. te. te. te. te. te. te. th. th. th. the. thoooooooo. I th. I th. I th. it's probably free but the jeans are probably stricken it. I probably I think it's probably either in the middle resting, dressed in or just slightly for left. Have a look and we come we'll tell the we'll tell the listeners after the break where where's Carl's knob to be competition. Oh brilliant we've got to send this to the Sony Awards people. XFM XFM Run, Snow Patrol on XFM. Well, big question. Where was Carl's Knob? That's what people would be hanging on for.

Yeah, where was it? Well, I can't believe people have been texting in. Hey, what guessing where it is? People saying, is it in the middle? Is it in the left? It cost them 10p. It costs them 10p to find out. Just wait.

I'm going to get out the answer. You don't win anything. All right? I strike it lucky. All right? Um, Tom. What more middle?

Right. Yeah. I went with. the. the left. Oh, yeah. I went with the right. That's annoying. See, I thought it would be to the left, if not, maybe if it was all scrunched up, sitting only in that right, it might just pop up to the middle, just pop out, like, you know. Next week, we'll be finding out where, where is it? Where's Ricky's it? Where, it's the welcome return of Nob News. Right, okay, this is very much like the news at tennis, isn't it? I do a bong, or in this case a shlong, and he gives me the headlines, the big, the knob news of the day.

Where have you collected all this knob news? Was there a lot of knob news this week? It was mental this week. It was mental this the amount of stuff. The way it works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It the headlines. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It's the headlines. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. It works. You the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bonk yeah the headline okay he decides which stories we're gonna talk about and now on XFM knob news shlong man grows knob on his arm shlong man gets doctors to make him a second knob shlong Turkish prisoners made all in cell wall to produce third inmate long doctors accidentally remove man's testicles. So, well, can I straight away, can I straight away go for the accidental removal of the testicles?

Well, it's happened before, I think we've talked about that before. How did it, oh, what did you go in for a tonsill-a- What are they called? Tonsillectony? And he went in the wrong way... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Do thi. Doctors, thiolonged. Doctors, doctors thi. Doctors, doctors. Doctors, doctors thi. Doctors, doctors thi. Doctors. Doctors. Doctors. Doctors. Doctors thi. Doctors thi. Doctors. Doctors thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. Do, thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. Do thi. How did it go in for a tonsilet, what are they called tonsiletony and he was he went in the wrong way? What are you talking about? How can they accidentally remove his testicles? It says, uh, he didn't look at his folder and the doctor said to the fellow, oh, we've removed your testicles and we've wanted to take out your prostate cland. So that's what happened. There's a story. This is what I mean, that's why I don't like going to the doctor's. It happens, don't it? Because all these sort of, it's when they say things like, oh, it's

just, we' they do loads of these operations. That's when they're not concentrating. Brilliant. Do you know what I mean? When they say it's procedure. That's like having a boring job that you do every day when you're not going to be concentrating. I prefer them to go this is a tricky one this. I know what you mean? I sort of do what you mean? You watch what you watch what you watch know, removing someone's second head or whatever and it's like the best surgeons from all over the world.

It's televised. They can't make a mistake. They can't go over he took his legs off by mistake. Whereas the fellow who's having a prostate is like, oh, do you want to do it? I'm sicker doing that. And they're probably doing the world. That's what I mean. Yeah. I was just examining some of the other knobbed-used Rick a little bit more closely. Man gets doctors to make him a second penis. I'm sure we're all interested in what happened there.

A German who persuaded doctors to give him a second penis has lost his second penis. He's lost his wife, he's wife, Bianca. A biker, Michael, and doctor has built him a second to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, to to their, to to their, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make their, to make to make to make to make to make to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make, to make to make. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to. their, thea. too. thea. I'm thea, thea. Bone? Apparently, the penis worked so well that he was even able to father a child with his wife, but Gruber was still not happy and asked doctors to repeat the operation and build him a better organ, to which they agreed. From his hospital bed he said, I've got two penises, but no wife. I'm hoping when I get rid of one of the penises, I'll get her back. What do you mean? Sorry, he had a... so he had two put on? What side does he well? So he's had both? So he's had three then? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This is probably the thing that happened with Hitler when he had one ball but it's had three at one point, didn't he? So he just get one in the other ball, gave his mom and get the other one. Man grows penis on his arm. I mean why the th. I was th. the penis. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th. th is th. th. th is there's had there's had there's had tho' th. th. He's had theree. He's had tho. He's had th. He's had th. He's had th. He had th. He had th. He's had th. He's had th. He's had th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's had th. He's had th. He's had th. He's had th. He's had th. He's had the. He's had the. He's had the. He's had thee. He's had theeee. He's had the. He had the. He's had the. He had the. He's was a bit of such a bit of such a arm. It's just a graft isn't it?

Yeah but put it on like your buttock or your side. You can't wear a short sleeve shirt. Why do they, they've done that before? I don't understand it. Why not just graph it onto the side of your leg or something where it should be. I don't know to get it used to the environment. Like when you were like released like a duck into the wild. I've never understood that. If there's a doctor again you know we had a doctor last time, see someone who can let us know why they put it on the arm. So they can keep an iron it presumably. He's not going to work with this knob on his arm. He's probably in a hospital bed and under examination. the they. the hospital. the hospital. the hospital. the hospital. the hospital. the hospital on the arm, so they come back in three weeks.

What do you do, by the way? I'm a mechanic. Keep the knob, keep the long-sleeve shirt, because the bloke is to go, why have you got a knob on your arm, what are you talking about, what are you talking about, the this float is walking around with a big knob coming out of his arm? Why on the arm? So they can keep an eye on it? So it's not putting it in bed? Just get him to not put any undies on or whatever and just have a little sly look at how it's going. Even in hospital if you're in a shared like little hospital people people they're going oh I've they're their your problem? It's there with his arm out. He's got his knob out. Yeah, but I don't think it counts as a decent exposure when they're grafting a knob on your arm. Sticking that out of the bed.

Imagine if he's driving, he's just got it out of the window. People driving by. Yeah, at the end of the man grows penis on his arm story. It says a Moscow surgeon said the man will be able to have sex in a few months. He said women will never suspect. What kind of a doctor talks like that? Yeah. I tell you, is this cotton hair? Seriously. The birds will never know. He'll be going to go berserk. Yeah. That is unbelievable. What do you have a little scar on his arm th? the the to the the arm to the the to the the the the the the the th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thuers. At thuiness thuiness thuice. At thine thine thine th. At th. At th. At th. At th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thine thine tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the an the the the the the tho tho th cot there seriously. The birds will never know. He'll be able to go berserk. Yeah. I'll never realize he's brought on his arm. That is unbelievable. Will you have a little scar on his arm, you think? Yeah, I just don't, I don't get it. I could say, 83936 if if there's a doctor out there. Or indeed if you've ever a grunt of a tailor? Making you a shirt. What's the side of your side? What the the the side? the side? the side? the side th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th the. the. tho to to tho tho tho tho. tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th is th. th. th. th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the is the is to theea. to to to toea. toea. toea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' thea' the That's the Stones? Yeah, beautiful.

Lay it on me. Wild horses, by the Rolling Stones on XFM 104.9. Well, uh, I think the listening public would have enjoyed knob news there. Oh. I mean, so... There was a lot of knob news this week. I was surprised. You know, I would have thought, you, you know, I would have the listening public would have enjoyed knob news there. Oh. I mean, there was a lot of knob news this week. I was surprised. You know, I would have thought it would be hard sometimes to get knob news together, but I would have thought it'd been part of a bigger news program, but I mean, I don't

think we'd dedicate a whole, sort of, uh, in a, like John Craven's News round. minutes to knob-related news. There was other news, was there in the week at all? Carter, wasn't it sort of knob-related? You didn't just research. No, they're the ones that sort of stand out. There was Christ on a crisp. That's obviously a crisp that someone vaguely thinks looks a bit like Robert Powell. Yeah. What's a load of twaddle? Yeah. There's a bloke who can blow up balloons using his ears what do you mean yeah well it's all connected isn't it you know just you just redirecting it aren't you it is pointless no you know I'm sort of downplaying it like it's no big deal but it is pretty impressive it's not when was the last time you blew up a balloon

oh I don't know that's what I mean it's not needed it's not thi it's not thi th i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i is is is is is is is is is is th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty th is pretty th is pretty impressive is pretty impressive is pretty impressive is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th th is pretty th th is pretty th th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th is pretty th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th last time you blew up a balloon? I don't know. That's what I mean. It's not needed. It's not impressive. That's what I mean. But you can say that about any form of sort of like bizarre entertainment. I don't think you have to hang yourself from hooks. But a lot of people would go and see Jim Roe Circus.

I wouldn't. I don't see the... But would you go go thahahahahahah I'm a blooms... No. If it was a mate of mine, I'd go do that thing you can do. I'd, you know, for a group of new friends, I go, alright? Then I'll get on with it. You know, it's, it's, it's, his penis so it's always a snake. I go yeah well done. Back to the little blues. Now listen then, what about another feature we'd like doing?

What? Song with a Story. Okay, he's been working on this, hasn't he? He's like a producer, isn't he? But with a completely round head? Just, you know, I was saying that, you were saying I don't like music, but I'm saying I do if I can hear what they're singing about, and there's a reason to sort of live to it. So have you turned into 50's dad? What is this?

No, but you know, it's like, it's nice to have a song where you go, you know, I can't turn it off because I need to know where it ends. You know, I can't the the turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to the the the the to the the to the to the thuice. I can't turn thurn. I can't turn thurn. I can't turn the thurn. to to to to to to to the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th is th is thi. I's thirty. I's the an things. I's things.ooooma. things.oooma. I's things. thea. I's theanananananananananananan's th. I. He can't sit through a film unless it's got a grotesque in it. He can watch the elephant man because he's getting a glimpse of this, he's waiting to see the bloke's face. That's all he's waiting for. All right? And so three minutes is about as much as you can maintain his. Well last week we did Babushka. Yeah. You know that woman dressing up, sort of tricking her husband and that it it it it it, uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh, that. That's. That's. that. Uh, that. that. that. the that. that's. their. their. that's. the the th. the the th. the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. I's the. I's theat. I's theat. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I and it sort of backfires and that. Don't know how it ended properly I don't know if they split up or whatever but this week this week. There's no follow-up cake bush isn't now pending the the sequel right go on into what's this thing pinball wizard right okay what's the story there um it's about this sort of deaf, dumb, blind kid. Right? Who's good at pinball?

That's it. So I don't believe he would be good at pinball? But even if he is, it's a lot to give up, isn't it? Just for that. Well he didn't give it up? No, but it's not like, well you can't him say to him, oh, you know not a bad news and that, but you're good at pinball. It's just a bit, bit rubbish. I mean does he even know he's playing pinball? Is what I'm saying? Do you know what I mean? And it's not hard, it's just moving the thing, isn't it? Just getting the buttons hard. It's not like, you know, if it was a good at a pack man, you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th. th. th. Is th. Is that, is, is that, is that, is that, is, is, is that, is that, is that, is that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is th. Is. Is that, is that, is th. Is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is it, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is what is what were they thinking of? What were the Who thinking of when they wrote this? Well, let's have a listen to it. But, you see, no, B's a dark man,

wizard? It kind of works. Yeah. He, um, he's deaf, dumb and blind, though. That's pretty grim, isn't it? It's rubbish, isn't it? Well, don't say that. I that's all. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's they. they. they. they. they. they. their. their. that's, their. their. they. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. I think that's all right I can't hear. No but it is it is like it's just the worst and I can't imagine what that would be like. It's pointless. I'm being a tape worm or something isn't it? It's just... No no but what I'm saying is what sort of a life is that? It's horrible. It is a bit like being one of those creatures deep in the ocean. Well look can I just answer your questions? It must th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that I that I that I that I that I that I just that that that that that that that that th that that th th th thus that thus that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that would that would that that, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, job done. But would you want a song about it and, you know, he's good at pinball. But it's not a real person with you, I mean, well, you were getting on to the realms of people in the list. But he is not a bloat that existed they sang a song about. Well listen to it, anyway, that's not a true story. I don't need to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to listen to it. I don't need to listen to it. Oh, okay. I'm a little today. I'm a little thou-deau. A little song with the story there.

A little deaf, dumb, a blanket. Thoughts, Carl? I just, uh, it's depressing, like I say. I don't know why... Is he enjoying playing the game? I don't know, let's get Pete Townsend on the phone. Carl, what are you talking about? I'm just trying to get...

Listen to the lyrics, right? Death don't like it. He can't hear no bows and bells, he can't see any flashing lights. He plays by sense of smell. Now I'm pretty sure that isn't a scientific document, Pete Townsend is reading out there, when he wrote this song. He's making it up. But the thing is, with all songs or stories, there's got to be a little bit of realism to it. Do you know what I mean? Why don't bother putting money in it? Just let him hit the buttons if he's a fair point? That's a fair happy. That's true.

That's a fair point. That is a fair point. That is a fair point. Yeah that is great. Yeah, I think you've made doltrie and Entwistle and the whole crew look fool, like fools. Yeah, they won't get fooled again. Oh, nice. We're supposed to do it. I mean I've all the thing. I mean it is horrible. thi. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that. th. th. th. th. th. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. that's. That's. that's. that's. That's. th. th. th. th. th. th. That's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the th. I the the the th. I the th. I the the the the th. I th. I tho. I tho. I don't. I'm thoo. I don't. I'm tho. I don't. I'm things, I mean it is horrible we're not like having a girl this is what I always worry about when we play but at the end of there that's what we're singing about so we're not having to go. No and it's not a real person doesn't really exist I say again it's a fictional person playing pinball and always getting a replay okay this fellow saying that he's good at a pinball he's played the the little thinne but but but but but but the the the the the th is is is is is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' th. th. I's thin' thin' thin' th. I's not th. I's not th. I's not thin' thin' thin' that is th. I's not th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' that' the is the the the the the the the the theeee theee theee thee thii the the the the threy the Point with, but there's this little deaf-down a blind kid. He can't believe it. He cannot believe it.

If you had to lose something, Steve, right? We want me money. That's really there. Your sight, are your ears? What? That's too much. that's too painful. What about you? Intuitively it would be hearing because I couldn't...

No, I think it's got to be psyched for me. Yeah. Well you're always together so that's all right. Anyway listen is it almost time? Well I've got to ask Carl. I'm sorry I've got to ask Carl. Goh Carm what would you rather be deaf or blind? When does this question ever really come up? When is it when the doctor goes well? Well? to? their well we can operate, we can either lose your eyes or your ears, it's up for you. There's never a decision that has to be made by anyone ever in life. But go on then, would you rather be, would you rather be blind or death? It depends where you live? I'm say if you lived in like a barren sort of you know Africa or whatever, right? Now to see, right? Sure. So you could lose your, lose your

sight. But if you lived in a woman's locker room? Well if you live in you... Quite noisy. It's quite noisy. Stop banging that door. I'll have my sight. Yeah, I hear it. But if you live in like New York, low to sea, but a little bit noisy. So...

Perfect. That is a brilliant answer. Unbelievable. Can we have monkey news? This shows like one long Monkey News, isn't it? When you're tuning to hear Carl Pilkington. I tell you what, why don't we play a little short track? What? What was your little short track? What? What is it, Steve? Green Day? We'll cram in a monkey news. We'll play the ads. Justins here. That'll be that. Go on. That's what we'll do. That's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that. What's what we'll that. What's what we'll that. What's what we'll that's that's what we'll that. What's that's the the the the short. What's the short. What's a short. What's that's that's that's. What's. What. What. What. What. What. What's. What's that's that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll that's what we'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's. I that's whatthe dime of your life. Green Day on XFM, 104.9, Richard Hsu, Merchants, Richard Hsu, Richard Hitchin, Carl, to Rockbusers. We've got Rockbusters and Monkers to come in this fun-packed show.

Give us the clues, give us the answers. Right, the first one was, why don't you borrow a little bit of land off Mr Boardman, Mr. Laurel or Mr Fletcher? What am we getting out there? The inches were LS, lease, lease, a Stan's field, right? Because you're borrowing it, that's leasing it, it's Stan, Boardman, and uh, it's a field and that, the field field and the field and the field and the field and the second, the field and, the field in, the se field and, the field in, the s field in, the s field in, is, is the s field and the s field in, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a fiea, is a, is a, the, is, is a the, is, the, the, the, the, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, Mr, they.. L. L. L. L. L. L. Mr, the the the the the the the the the the the they. L. L. L. L. L. L. S. L. L. L. S. L. L. S. L. L. L. L. S. L. L. L. I, the, the, the, that, isn't it? Second one. I'm gonna annoy those seabirds. That was B. What are you doing when you're annoying a bird? You're bugging it? What's seabird? A gull? Bugle? Bugles. Buggulls. I don't know where to start. I don't know where to start. If we had more time I'd try him out of a window. Right. What the scouse fella said to the robber he found in his house next to his vineyard. That was A-W, that was A-Mie-Wine House.

What? What? What? What? A-I-Mie-Win-House? vineyard, it was a cottage in a vineyard so that's what the way I was saying, what was a clue again? Amy Winehouse. Yeah but what do you mean? What, why is he said, why is it a rubber?

Why is it a robber? Because the robber's getting in and he's sort of saying, he's getting in and he's sort of saying, hey, and he's a the robin, no, it's already her name is an Aga Almy Winehouse. Gavin Thompson got him all right, he's in Edinburgh so he's winning Ladder 49 and that. That's safe, that's on the way to go. And he's going into the prize draw to win those. I just do, I mean, this better be a good monkey, Carl, that monkey news! Right. There's this monkey, right? And it had been, do you know you hear about monkeys being badly treated and stuff like that?

Yeah. So anyway, it goes into this home. It's 14 this monkey, it's called Matty, right? It goes into this home where it's looked after. What's mean home? Just like a little monkey home, right? Okay, so it's yeah, kind of, yeah, but he haven't got any other monkeys there, right? What have they got there? We've got just other animals and that, but not that many monkeys, but

anyway, because he's there on his own, again, you know, when you say monkey, do you mean a chimpanzee, by the way? Because you gediannit, do you their their their th. th. thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, their thian, thian, their their their their they they they they they they they they they their they don't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're their, their, th. the, but the, but ty ty ty too, but ty too, but too, but the, but the. they haven't got, but they haven't got, but they don't they don't thought it was scripted. So anyway, yeah, so it gets sort of palli with the people working there and that and it's smoking fags, it's having a drink at night and all this right. What do you mean it's having a drink at night? It's all here, Steve, I mean we haven't really got time but you know they're saying it's all here like it's proof you've got another stupid story that someone has put onto the internet. Someone sitting at home in their bedroom has put onto the internet. So it's having a bag, it's drinking a lovely glass of Bangrock Station. Yeah.

The wine that's perfect for a barbecue. Yeah. It's loving life, it's forgetting about its past and everything, right? This other monkey comes in, something said. Right, forget it, Right, forget it then. Forget it. No, forget it. No, no.

XF.