The Ringer NFL Show - 10 Crucial Lessons From 2022

Episode Date: June 27, 2023

Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck revisit the lessons from last season they vowed never to forget, loosely inspired by Christopher Nolan’s ‘Memento’ (1:13). Finally, the guys close with emails (42:12). Check out our 2023 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Football show, my name is Danny Hyfitts, and I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlebeck, and we are on the precipice of next season. Training camp is a month away, but before we get into next season, we wanted to just take a moment, and we wanted to make sure we did not forget all of the lessons of last year, because as Craig always reminds us, we literally get amnesia at the end of every season and forget all the things that happened. So we started doing a little exercise here called Memento tattoos where we tattoo all the things we don't want to forget on our bodies

at the end of each year. And so now we're, today we're going to go through all the tattoos we got. Craig, is that like a good summation of Memento? Pretty much. There's murder involved in the movie Memento, but not in our situation. There's no murder. Still don't remember the movie. That's ironic.

You have short your memory about the movie. I know it's about tattoo. It's about a guy who has short-term memory trying to figure out who killed his wife. Does it play in reverse? Yes, every scene. The first scene is the last scene. Fascinating.

Remember we did an episode last year? We've done like four. I still don't really know how the movie works. We did an episode backwards last year, which I don't know how well received that was. That's right. In a matter of way, D.K. not remembering this is kind of perfect. D.K. is our Guy Pearce.

Ready to take a long, hard look in the mirror at my tattoos. By the way, I think this is the single most important part of fantasy football is looking back at your mistakes last year and recognizing them and learning from them. You truly get amnesia, I think, every year heading into the next fantasy football season. You completely forget what happened. You have these weird biases that don't make any sense. Hivots is really good about this. Like in all aspects of our job. Hyvitz, like the second we finish, like, the NFL draft show, he has us like, do a post-mortem.

We take notes and we like talk about what we learn so that when the next draft season comes around, we can look back and say, okay, what do we want to change? I think people should listen. I know fantasy football is not most people's jobs. But man, taking notes after the fantasy season actually makes a difference. But you lose all the notes. And so, you know, you keep tracking your iPhone notes. So we just tattoo them on our bodies. Yeah, we're like Ben Affleck.

We just got the big Phoenix on our backs, except for Hyphitz. It's just a big Mike Davis. This is Mike Davis crossed off. Josh Jacobs crossed off. Filled in with Josh Jacobs, yes. Yeah. It's like Somaget P. P. Ryan, question mark?

That's the one. stay away from Michael Thomas don't trust Michael Thomas Michael Thomas His progress isn't real Don't believe his lies I don't care if he's deadlifting 500 pounds or whatever that video was

You couldn't even see his face in that video by the way Still not practicing by the way That's not actual practice That's just him lifting weights We're like too early on the show To go off on a tangent But did you guys see the video of RFK Jr dead like doing

Yeah The weights but there was like no weight on the bar Who's our most? shredded president. We ever had like a shredded president? I bet George Washington is pretty ripped. I feel like Teddy Roosevelt was the strongest. I wouldn't say he shredded, but he would win in a fight.

Teddy was the manliest. I feel like Eisenhower was in good shape. He was in the military. We got to do this at the end of the show. We can't do this now. DK, give us your first, just, just, you know, give us a little skin. What do you got to cross your back right now?

Like, what's your first big mement attempt? I'm having high fits read this off to me and it says, Don't trust Kyle Shanahan. It's backwards in the mirror. You have to read it. But just to be clear, I want to be clear about this exercise. We actually did an episode at the end of last season where we actually gave, like, we wrote down what we wanted to remember for this episode. And this is first.

And I want to be clear that Christian McCaffrey is literally the number one player in our rankings this year. Well, technically he's the number two player in half BPR for us, because I, am a few spots down on Christian McCaffrey, both you and Hayfitz, Craig and Hyfids, have Christian McCaffrey as your number one player. Fantasy pros has him as their number one player. What are we doing here?

Why do we trust this man? Why do we trust Kyle Shanahan to do the right thing and give him the ball so much? I'm frankly a little bit worried about some actual real precedent that happened when Elijah Mitchell was healthy and on the 49ers team. When these two were playing at the same time

for the 49ers, Elijah Mitchell and Christian McCaffrey, McCaffrey's volume dropped pretty precipitously. Enough to the point where I have questions about making him the number one player honor rings. Can I give you answers that will also give you more questions? Sure. I think there's a,

you're right. So Christian McCaffrey did rotate in for the Niners more than he did in Carolina. And Carolina, at peak, when he was incredible, was playing like 97% of the snaps. Like basically it was like an anomaly, statistically that he was not on the field in Carolina. So McCaffrey has something called Pateller tendonitis.

I am not a doctor. It sounds worse than it is. Basically, it sounds like it's kind of injury that, like, it just kind of has to be managed. So he wasn't practicing a ton and he would just kind of have. They were really kind of like load managing him by merely just playing him 80% of the time. I do think that's why he rotated in. I don't know if that makes me feel better,

but like he's still going to play as much as any running back outside of like Seqwan. So, but I do think that's why Elijah Mitchell was on the field. He's still going to play a lot. Don't get me wrong, but number one a lot, like number one overall pick a lot. I'm a little worried. It's Kyle Shanahan. We do this every year. I think the problem here is that Christian McCaffrey is like what we think is the antidote to Kyle Shanahan.

Yeah, I agree. Who wins? It's an immovable object versus an unstoppable force. Christian McCaffrey versus the Kyle Shanahan doghouse. Who's going to win? Well, so, D.K., you have here that when Elijah Mitchell played, McCaffrey only scored 16 and a half fantasy points a game. which would be fifth in running backs last year.

Still good. Still good. So that's kind of like worst case scenario. He's the fifth best. And Elijah Mitchell, who's never healthy anyway, who knows how many games he's playing? Well,

the thing is, Kyle Shannon can't pick between running backs because he uses all as late-round picks on them. So the McCaffrey trade solved it because they just gave away all their picks for McCaffrey. Also, we think he's a better fit with obviously Purdy, right, than like Trey Lance or something.

McCaffrey might as well be the quarterback. McAfree is like the straw that stirs the drink, as all Michael Lombardi would say. Like, look, in the past, have we always regretted taking the first running back on the 49ers? Yes. Do people delude themselves into thinking it'll work for them? Of course. But it will work for us to take McCaffrey this year. D.K.

Who do you think passes for more touchdowns in their career? Christian McCaffrey or Trey Lance? How many does CMC have? That is the question of the century, Craig. Holy shit. Let's see. Trey Lance has thrown five touchdowns.

Is McCaffrey at five? He's probably close. He's probably got two. My favorite running stat is from Mike Renner that Tom Brady threw more passes last season than Trey Lance has NFL college and high school combined. McCaffrey has thrown two touchdowns

in his career. Oh my God. Trey Lans or McCaffrey rest of their career. McCaffrey's probably good for one this season. We've got to get the Philly special going. That was his first. First game for the Niners.

He threw it. I actually, dude, I don't think Lance is going to be the backup this year. I think it's going to be Purdy and then Darnold. That's what Shephty said. Both of them would have to get hurt. Oh, man. I'm going Lance, but like by single digits. Well, yeah.

It's close. I mean, if Lance never starts again, could McCaffrey throw three more touchdowns in his career, maybe? The line's like seven. Like, Lance minus seven. I'm going to take McCaffrey if that's the case. Speaking of first of McCaffrey being a first on running back, can I get to one of my tattoos?

I just found it on my ribs. It says, don't take early round running backs. Okay, okay. I went back and I kind of looked up how the top running backs did last year. And we all get wrapped up. Running backs are kind of the sexiest part of fantasy.

They're usually, if you're in a one quarterback league, you spend the most money on the top running back, right? It's like everyone's dropping 70 bucks on a McCaffrey, a Derek Henry, a Jonathan Taylor. Last year, the first round and a half of running backs. So the first round and then halfway through the second round, by ADP, average draft position, 12 running backs went.

So I'm going to look at the top 12 running backs who were drafted last year. I'm going to read them out. Jonathan Taylor, Derek Henry, McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook, Austin Eccler, Nick Chub, Najee Harris, DeAndre Swift, Alvin Camara, Aaron Jones, Joe Mixon, and at 12 is Giovante Williams on the Broncos.

Six out of 12 of those guys finished outside the top 12 and points per game. So you essentially had a 50% shot that any of these guys you drafted, even the number and over guy, was just inside the top 12 at the position. Then, if you go look at wide receiver, the wide receivers to go in the first two rounds, there were eight guys who went in the first two rounds.

Let me read them off. Cooper Cup, Justin Jefferson, Jamar Chase, Stefan Diggs, Devonte Adams, C.D. Lamb, Mike Evans, and Tyree Kill. Every single one of those guys, but Mike Evans was in the top eight. They literally just stuck with the same positions. They all played musical chairs. And it was like, oh, Justin Jefferson was first this time. And Stefan Diggs was fourth, and Jamar Chase was third.

AJ Brown was the only guy to break into that top eight. So what this tattoo is telling me is like, I no longer value the goat $70 running back like I used to when you can just guarantee that these top eight receivers are just going to finish in the top eight. It's literally almost a guarantee. To me, this is like buying the total stock market, like just... Index fund?

Yeah, index fund. There you go. VTI, VT. I'm looking for... Sorry, keep going with the financial advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what's it called? stocks. Stayed at a holiday

and express last night so I know all about this but it's like buying VTI versus like fucking I don't even know what like the riskiest stock is or whatever but one that fails 50% of the time

Tesla maybe sure yeah but yeah this is to be like do we just go out and buy the total stock market ETF or do we go out and try and like wide receivers early around wide receivers are like

the S&P 500 they're just going up I think you're right but so again our rankings fancy football dot 3.com we got our rankings there we reflect this We have Jefferson first, McCaffrey's second, Eccler, third, and then we've Jamar Chase, Cooper Cup, Bejohn Robinson, Travis Kelsey gets, Sequin, Tyree Kill, Jonathan Taylor, Devante Adams, AJ Brown.

That's six. So six of our top 12 players overall are wide receivers. Yeah. More receivers than running backs. However, here's the thing, though. I want to be delicate with this because I agree with you, Craig. Like the receivers are a safe for bet. However, there's also been a correction of sorts where everyone's on to this.

So there's Ian Hardens, who does great stuff for fantasy life. kind of broke this down. And he basically, everything is corrected to what Craig's saying. Running backs are riskier, receivers are safer. But that correction has already kind of been like, the market has corrected for that with our rankings,

with that rankings everywhere in that. The stock market has corrected for it? Wow. I think so. I don't know how the economy works or inflation or whatever, but basically. So Ian had these great numbers that was, he was just looking at average draft position like historically

versus this year. And he's using best ball, which is not perfect, but it's the best we have by far. So usually in a given year of the last few years, six of the first eight picks are running backs. Sorry, six of the first eight picks are running backs. This year, six of the first 18 picks are running backs in best ball. Six of eight to six of 18.

And then usually half the top 36 are running backs. Now it's a third of the top 36 are running backs. So all the running backs are getting squeezed. And so I think that I agree with you, Craig. But the flip side is, guys, Tony Pollard, Sequin Barkley, Jonathan Taylor, Josh Jacobs, Those are all guys that used to very obviously be first round players. You can get them in the second.

You know what I mean? And now these guys that, yeah, Nick Chub, Derek Henry, you might be able to get in the third round. Those were guys that were going first or second. So we want to be careful not to go over correct because we're not just the only people realizing this. And I think you can almost zag as everyone's zgging where it's like basically you can't lose because I think you can get Cooper Cup, Tyree Kill, Kelsey, if you want them in the first round. But then you kind of come back around. I still want the, it's almost weird. We've almost come all the way around.

where it used to be you would get like Tony Pollard with the seventh pick come around to take Tyree Kill. Now you kind of have to take Tyree Kill's seventh, come around and get Tony Pollard. Also, doesn't that only apply, though, to Snake drafting what you're talking about? Because if you're in an auction draft, just because Derek Henry is like ranked 19th overall,

that doesn't mean he's going to go for the commensurate, you know, price. He's probably still going to go for 60 bucks because he's Derek Henry. So in an auction drafting, it is still kind of like, I think you should just focus on spending your premium capital on wide receivers. I think overall it's just indicative of the way that the NFL is going to. You know, it's not just injuries. It's not just that we had some bad luck with guys last year.

It's just like the NFL is not using guys nearly as much. And it's harder to predict which guys are going to get that massive, massive volume. You know what I mean? They just get hurt more, too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's that plus the NFL's just going away from three down guys. As they should.

I guess this is a good time for me to note. I have this weird tattoo. Can you guys actually, I don't know what this means. it says Josh Jacobs murdered my family. Do you know what that means? I haven't seen Memento in a while, but I think there's a tat. He always has a note that says like,

don't trust Sammy Jankis or Sammy Jenkins or something. Like that is your Josh Jacobs. So, yeah, RIP to me, there's a lot. Obviously, I didn't like Josh Jacobs last year. That was a mistake. I think there's two lessons. I think actually to what we were just talking about, I think number one, like not fighting the last war.

and basically every season's different. Yeah. And I think that last year I was two, there were two mistakes I made being out on Josh Jacobs that I think by two takeaways are we were kind, I was too obsessed with like the dead zone and like running back. Basically there's a point where running backs probably aren't a good value anymore. But it was just kind of too specific to 2021 trying to find the next Jamar Chase and Cooper Cup.

And in reality, it's like the real draft. When you try to do that, you miss the next of whatever's coming. It's like everyone's looking for like the next debo. the next Christian McCaffrey, and then you end up, like, missing, you know, Brock Birding or whatever. It's like, there's always a different year mixed with Josh Jacobs is good at football. And I think that was like the base thing I was too obsessed with like, well, there's a new regime. And how are they going to, how is Josh McDaniels going to move, use Josh Jacobs more than John Gruden did? And like, he's in a contract year where, you know, if they don't want him.

We always do the rookie thing. There's a new rookie. He might steal touches. I also made, actually, I honestly, I had the opposite, which was, I was like Josh Jacobs contract year. What if they don't want him? actually they didn't give his shit about using him. Like, he's in a contract here. If he walks, he walks, they're going to use him a ton.

Also, the radio's offensive line was, I never thought their offensive line could play well enough for him to lead the league in rushing. So there were a lot of mistakes there. But I think actually it connects to those two, what we were just talking about, I think it's easy to say, well, we have to have receivers. But if everyone's saying that, the running backs probably become a value. I think that's kind of what happened last year in like the 50s, 60s, 70s. Now it's kind of the tens and 20s where that's happening.

I also just think good players. Good players are good. it also helped I think he caught like more passes than he ever had before too so there's just like a lot of variables that worked against you on that one yeah the good players thing is a big one for me like I'm gonna focus on that obviously you know part of fantasy football is trying to figure out how coaches are going to use their players there's you can never just assume a coach is going to use his best player but I think overall you're going to hit at a higher

rate if you do end up like focusing heavily on the best players like you can can't completely ignore bad players who are going to get volume, if that makes sense. But Craig has a shit-eating grid on this face right now. I just love this. I just love what you're saying. You can't completely ignore bad players, but you really want to focus on good players. I mean, it's so, it's like so basic,

but I also need, I feel they need to say it. Like, you know what I mean? Because I've come full circle. There was a time where I was like, you can't focus only on good players because a lot of bad players are good in fantasy or whatever. But like, those guys, I feel like are fewer and far between. So bottom line, like Josh Jacobs, we knew he was good.

Like if you looked at all of his like tackle rate, broken tackle rate, his explosive plays, you know, elusive rating for PFF, like all the stats and all the metrics were pointing to this guy's really good. We're just like, but they played him in the Hall of Fame game. Like, you know, that's not what I said. Please. I never brought up the freaking Hall of Fame game. Don't put words in my mouth. Well, that scared me. I'm going to be honest.

That was like, that's not good. While we're talking about how dumb fantasy is and again, like, oh, I will say this is why we also really highly. recommend Super Flex leagues because it's like so funny when you're like outside of any context. Should I take Joe Burrow or J.K. Dobbins? You're like, what? Right. Football team? Yeah. So one of my tattoos, which is tattooed on the back of my right calf, I just saw it, is it says take a good quarterback. And, you know, I was really thinking about it. I've completely pivoted. I have been late round QB guy my entire life. In the last year or two, we've kind of all collectively as a group shifted our thinking to now.

lean towards getting a good quarterback early. And getting a good quarterback is like getting eight hours of sleep. You know how much harder everything is when you're just trying to work out four hours of sleep? Like you can still do it. You could still have a productive day at work. You could still work out. Sure.

But winning a fantasy matchup, knowing your QB is a lock to just put up 24 points, it's so much nicer. It's just like a good eight hours of sleep. I don't care the opportunity costs, getting somebody in a third or fourth round, whatever. The top three guys, you're Josh Allen, you're Mahomes, you're, you're, who am I missing? Jalen Hertz, those guys all average, like 25 points a game last year. The average flex puts up like eight or

nine points a game. I looked it up. So by you drafting Jalen Hertz or drafting Patrick Mahomes, you're, you are getting a quarterback like a Kirk Cousins plus a flex just as your quarterback. You're really getting an extra player just to draft a top three quarterback. So I'm never, I'm never not spending money on a top quarterback again. I will be drafting Jalen Hertz this year. I'd like you guys to know. I will be doing it. DK.

It's like you draft an extra spot and you're starting lineup. It's a cheat code. You're getting a flex. You're adding a flex to your lineup. I like that. It's like, it's not only eight hours of sleep. It's actually,

but you got up at six in the morning. And you've been working all morning, cranking like and you just, everything's firing on all cylinders. And then like the person who just has to trot out Jared Gough is like rolling out of bed at night and like can't really get going to like 10 because you'd eat coffee and you're like that's no way to live. Yeah, you know that friend when like you're on like a little friend trip, you guys have an Airbnb

at a cabin and you get up at like nine and there's the one guy who's like, oh, you're just getting up. I've been up since six. I went to a walk and made breakfast. I went to the grocery store and you're like, oh, God. That guy is Jalen hurts. That guy's Jailen Hertz. He's having a great day.

Everyone like talks shit about that guy too, but everyone wants to be that guy. Oh, absolutely. Take Jalen Hertz. Take my homes. It's so much easier. Life is so much easier when you get a good night's sleep. Speaking of like, it's very basically the same thing. I have this tattoo.

It's like, it's just right on my chest. It just says in giant letters, all caps. It says draft Travis Kelsey. Yeah. Just take Travis Kelsey. This is the biggest piece. I need like five of those tattoos all over my body because I never listen. Put them on your left hand, your right hand, your forehead.

My eyelids. I, where how many letters is it? Could I get that on my knuckles or no it's too many? How many characters is that? Tattoo this one on your dick, Craig. On my dick? You won't forget that. That's fair.

Inside of my eyelids and my penis. Oh, wait. Draft Kelsey is 10 characters. That could go on your knuckles. I talked about this in the tight end episode, but Travis Kelsey literally had the best season ever for a tight end last year. Like, you didn't have the most points,

but relative to all the other tight ends. Like, the gap between first and second was 15 touchdowns worth. Like, the gap between first and second was the same as the gap between second and 22nd. Like, this freaking guy does this, every year and we're like, like, I moved them up to like fourth.

And I'm like, why shouldn't we take them forth? Like, again, Travis Kelsey has missed fewer games in a decade than Jamar Chaser Cooper Cup did last year. Why are we taking them over him? Knock on wood. Okay. This is the year it all falls apart.

He's 33. He'll be 34 in October. He's the first tight end to ever have 1,000 yards at 33. If A.J. Brown was just a tight end. Where would you take A.J. Brown? That's fair. The old, the age cliff. That's what's been scaring us.

He just won the Super Bowl. He was like 18 touchdowns with like 18 playoff games. It's like he's literally incredible. The reason you have this tattooed on your body, though, Hyfitz, is because we decide not to do it for some reason every year. It's because I go, well, what if this is the year he drops off? And you know what? That random tight end on the Titans, Chiga Kwanko, I think he's going to have a big year.

I'm going to spend six bucks on him instead. Yeah. It's so true. Honestly, that's another tattoo DK has, actually. It's just a list of all the tight ends from the last decade that we all like. There's not even like there's no message.

It's literally just like seven guys. Let me pull it up here. Let's see. We've got Tate some Hill crossed out. Tyler Higby crossed out. Evan Ingram crossed out. Jack Doyle. Jack Doyle crossed out.

Tyler Eiffert, Irv Smith, Austin Hooper, Johnu Smith. And then this year, are we going to do chicken quank? Or are we going to do Greg Dolston? This is just the tight end.

This is just the tight end version of the sleep. Why do we do this to ourselves? Here's my question. We have Travis Kelsey's seventh. It just feels too low. Like Cooper Cup is fifth. He had a high ankle sprain. He missed like half the year.

We're worried about Kelsey's going to fall off. Matt Stafford is throws the ball to Cooper Cup. He almost, he had to be like, I'm not retiring because that spinal thing. Don't worry about it. Kelsey has Patrick Mahomes. Why don't we just move him higher?

Put him one overall. Put Kelsey number one, high fits. Dude, I honestly, I swear to God, man. Why not? I mean, I'm not that even, I'm not even against. it. Let's do it.

Like, I don't know, man. Just draft Travis. I think the point is wherever you are, just take Kelsey. And if you have the first pick, just, all right, there you are. Listen to the tattoo. Is Kelsey a boring pick? Because my next tattoo just says take boring players, which, you know, don't get, don't get all cut up in the razzle dazzle of a freak rookie or some young duo, some young quarterback receiver duo that has huge upside.

Just take the guy who was good last year and he was good the year before that. and the year before that, and he has the same upside that he had last year because he actually hit it last year. The amount of value that you can extract in your draft by just taking dudes who are either 28 years old or just have like, you know, or have no flashy traits and real no defining qualities

like a James Connor, just like a guy who nobody can really like envision what it looks like to watch them play. Just take dudes who are 28 who have been good their whole career and dudes who aren't famous and you'll have a great time. If you go back and look at last year's draft, here are some of the running backs up right next to each other. Josh Jacobs and Travis Etyn went right next to each other.

Just take the boring guy. James Connor and Cam Acres went right next to each other. Just take the boring guy. Joe Mixon and D. Andre Swift and D. Andre Swift, Joe Mixon, go home to your wife. You know, James Connor or Cam Acres, go home to your wife. You know why the media is trying to convince you to draft people like Jordan Addison? Because there's nothing else to say about the boring guys. There's nothing else to say about Tyler Lockett.

Tyler Lockett and Jameson Williams are right next to each other, right? now. Lockett is a perfect example. Yeah. Literally, literally. Tyler Lockett and Jameson Williams are right next to each other in ADP. Jameson Williams is a second year rookie out of Alabama who tore his ACL. He's 22 years old. He's super fast. Tons of potential. He could have a huge year. He could have like, what, 1,100 yards. He suspended for six games. Sure. He could have 1100 yards. He could have 9 touchdowns. Wouldn't that be awesome? You know who did that last year? Tyler Lockett. And he's done that for four straight seasons.

year. Every year he has 1100 yards. It could be a boat. It could be a Tyler Lockett. Could be anything. Could he even be Tyler Lockett. Should I draft Jordan Addison? What if he has 1100 yards a night touchdowns?

That'd be crazy. Well, Tyler Lockett's been doing that since he was like 25. I'm just looking at our rankings and I'm looking at like people you could actually get if you just took boring players. So like if you just took Kelsey in the first round, came back around and you just took Nick Chub. And then you came back around and then you came back around. You grab my home.

I know my home is not boring, but like you could just absolutely get him in the third round. And then you came around and you're like, I'll just take Amory Cooper. Yep. Quintessential. Yeah, you keep going. They'll get James Connor.

Christian Kirk. No one cares about Christian Kirk. He'll have a thousand yards and eight touchdowns. David Montgomery. Sure. Sleeper. Like, I'm a sleeper. We just get so caught up in like the rookie hype upside.

What if he does this? He has the potential to do that. It's like, I'm just going to take, I'm just going to take Amonra St. Brown. He's already done. Corny police. Bonk. All right, bonged to everyone. That's a good one.

Speaking of that, here's a good segue. I have this written on my body. Drops are fake news. Hold on to rookie receivers is the lesson here. It's also, it's like written like a postscript or whatever. Hold on to rookie receivers. Fade training camp narratives. Basically, if you're hearing bad things about a rookie in training camp, like,

buy up all the stock. That's the guy you want. That's the guy who's going to be so much better than anybody thinks. everybody gets scared every year because Jamar Chase can't catch a ball that doesn't have white stripes on it. Like give me a fucking break. Why do we fall for this stuff?

Jamar Chase is the biggest example, but he was like one of the all-time, all-time prospects. He had like a great recruiting profile, great college production. He's super, super fast. So he's the best receiver prospects since like Julio Jones. Yeah, he's not like the best example of this. But if you go down the list,

there's a bunch of guys, just last year, just last year. If you look at Garrett Wilson, Chris Olave, and Christian Watson, those are three guys. started out a little bit slow. And then as the year went on, just absolutely dominate. So here's Garrett Wilson's numbers from weeks one through seven.

He was the wide receiver 37 just behind guys like Josh Reynolds and Devin Duverne. How many people dropped Garrett Wilson last year after that slow start? Probably a lot. And then from weeks eight on,

he was a wide receiver 16. Above guys like D.K. Metcalf, Brandon Ayuk, D.J. Moore, T. Higgins, Jerry Judy. Mike Evans. Like, you're getting so much value. I understand like the,

it's maybe not optimal to hang on to a guy for that long if he's not doing anything. But to me, it's like, hold on to that lottery ticket. You know what I mean? That might pay out huge unless you have like a desperate need to pick up some other guy. Well, to be clear, you're not just saying about like hype, like bad hype. You're basically saying that rookie receivers are everything you want, which is they're underrated. They're cheap to have in drafts and they peak at the end of your season for fantasy playoffs. Christian Watts a great example here.

Last year, weeks one through nine, so essentially the first three quarters of the, the fantasy season. Wide receiver 110. He didn't do anything. And then down the stretch, week 10 through 18. I know that week 18 is not necessarily fantasy, but just for this purpose is he was wide receiver seven.

He was top 10 guy. Chris Olive, same deal. He started out really slowly. And then weeks after week three, he was wide receiver 22. So like if you dropped him after one or two weeks, like that was a huge mistake.

I'm just saying, have patience with these guys. In particular, the highly drafted guys with good profile. So like got, because draft capital and talent to me are going to win out more often than not. I like I like the calling at fake news or like training camp narratives or fake news. We should have like a we should have like a Fox News fantasy football segment or channel or something where it's like Tucker Carlson's fantasy news. It's like Jamar Chase doesn't doesn't like catching footballs with white stripes.

Why is that? The ball is a little bit bigger in the NFL. I have fade Jamar Chase. Like I don't know. there's something there. The year before that, Jalen Waddle, another example. Like weeks one through five.

You get right back into Jalen Waddle. Dude, I'm just saying it happens like almost every year where one or two or three of these guys ends up being really, really valuable down the stretch. So just don't make that mistake this year. I just say the woke liberal media doesn't want you to know that Jalen Waddle was as bad as Quintes

Seifis in the first month of his career, but then was better than Tyree Kill. Why would the Raiders play Josh Jacobs in a Hall of Fame game. That doesn't make much sense. Why would they do that? I think this is the bit. It's Craig just does a Tucker Carlson oppression. I want to just like way overreact

to stupid training camp news and take it as truth. Producer Kai likes shrimp but won't eat cheese. What's that about? Producer Kai is shorting the dairy market. This is good. There's something here.

There's something here. Do we have any of the tattoos? Oh yeah. Here's my last tattoo that is it's where the, you know how the Tupac's thug life? That's, I have this tattoo in the same spot. It's, don't take wide receivers with shitty quarterbacks, man. It's not worth it. It's like

dating somebody with a ton of baggage. There's better options out there. You can do better. You don't deserve this. It can be easier. I made a, I did a top 10, a top five of I have the worst fucking attorneys heading into this year. So here are the top five receivers

with the worst fucking attorneys, aka quarterback. where it's just not worth it. Every catch feels like a miracle. Number one, DJ Moore. Just don't do it. Number two, Mike Evans, number three, Chris Godwin. Just fucking avoid at all cost.

Number four, the goat of this category, the president of this category, Terry McLaurin. Every year. Number five is Michael Pittman. Yeah. You're so right that there's a relationship. This is just the I can fix him category,

but it's like, no, you can't. You will not fix him. You know what's really nice is when you draft like... I can fix it. It's like if you draft like Mike Williams or Christian Kirk, you know what's nice? It's just like when they're open, the ball will be near their hands.

I like that. I personally enjoy that. I can fix it category. We need a stat. We need a stat for this. Like we, not analytics. We didn't antilitic just to measure the despair of like having watched

one of these receivers last year, try to reel in balls from these guys. Like Terry McLaurin play with Wentz or DJ Moore playing with the freaking carnival of Panthers quarterbacks last year. There's just, I mean, there's nothing worse. Oh, despair, like air, like air yards,

but it's despair yards. Like, if Washington's playing like the Chiefs or something, and Wentz goes three and out, and you're just like, oh, God, they're not going to get the ball back for 10 minutes because Mahomes going to march down the field. And then they get the ball back. They go three and out again.

McLaurin was open, Wentz sails it over his head, and they punt. And you're just like, I don't see a scenario in which he can get to 50 yards. That feels impossible. is the worst feeling of the world. And you also kind of just blame yourself too.

Yeah. It's so obvious. Those are the moments where you're like, why do I do this? Why do I play fantasy football? In retrospect, you're like, it's like week three and you're like, what was I thinking? DJ Moore? God. It's that post clarity, you know? Did you just avoid saying post nut clarity?

Did you just? I did. I wasn't sure. Is that too much? Is that too graphic? I don't know. I think it did. Clarity. I think based on where the show has evolved, how the show has evolved. I think postnut clarity is considered pretty tame. My mom was like, I wish you guys would stop cursing and saying the other stuff. And I was like, I know, Craig just, you know, he's getting married in a couple weeks. He needs to get all this stuff out, I think.

Get my yias out. Yeah. When I come back, I'll be a different man. Buttoned up. I'll be dulled. We're going to start talking about building, you know, building tools and stuff, stuff in the backyard that we're working on. I'm only going to be wearing polos. I can't wait for Craig to compare like Giovante Williams to like buying the wrong kind of

back splash. You don't want to get the wrong backslash. Let me tell you. Speaking of which I have a, I have another tattoo. Right under by draft, Travis Kelsey, it says, don't draft Kyle Pitz. Disagree. That's your Sammy Jankis. Yeah. Don't believe his lies. Don't believe his lies. This falls under the category thing, the

bad quarterbacks category. It is. I will say Kyle Pitts is just a receiver with a bad quarterback. So that's number one. It's like the mob. I'm already, I can, just when I think I'm out on Kyle Pitts, I can tell, I'm getting reeled in. Everyone's getting reeled in. And again, everybody seems to be coming around on him. Hold, I'm not. Doug.

Okay. I'm just a chip. Again, Kyle Pitts last year, fewer yards per game than Khalif Raymond. Fewer catches per game. Don't even say those words. Fewer catches per game than Ben Skoronic. God. Damn it. Second in touchdown catches among Falcons State ends. God.

But then it's like, oh, boy. brutal. But then you're like, hey, Kyle Pitts was good. The Falcons just didn't throw, like, oh, the Falcons did throw him the ball. Marioo was just bad. Now Mariotta is getting scapegoated because Kyle Pitts was numb. Like, if you look at just tight ends with 200 rounds, again, shout at Ian Hartz. Kyle Pitts, number one in targets per route run.

Number one in deep target rate. But it just, he had the worst catchable target rate. So it's like they were throwing him the ball. But all the passes were bad and they barely threw it because the pan. passes were bad. So Desmond Ritter, new quarterback, even though he sucks, he'll suck less than Mariotta. And the balls will be on target. And I'm like,

no, I'm not getting roped into this, man. I'm not doing this. Honestly, if you want to get, I'd rather have Drake London. I swear to God. I just, I would rather have Drake London. Just give me Drake London. I don't trust Kyle Pitts. I don't trust Kyle Pitts. I trust Bejan. I trust Bijon. Yeah, they're going to run the shit out of the ball.

Just draft. He's sexy, though. Give me one reason why Dallas Goddard isn't a better pick than Cal Pitts. He just is. Well, he's performed and produced at least for like one season. He gets hurt every year, though. It's the boring tattoo. No, he doesn't.

Also, Kyle Pitts got hurt. True. I think the Kyle Pitts, the injury is a big deal. I think that Pitts... He's still not practicing. We're not talking about this enough. He ended the season with an MCL. Until I see him playing football, like in a preseason game, I will not, I don't know if he'll change in my mind.

The woke liberal media wants you to think Kyle Pitts is good. I'm not so sure. Fewer catches per game that Ben Skoronic. Craig, Goddard has played 16 games one time. Yeah, Goddard. I wouldn't take... No, I don't want either.

We have Goddard. I like Goddard. I like Goddard. Goddard's really good. And in a really good offense. And it has like four to five catches a game, locked in. Chiquot, let's do it. We're doing it. He's got upside. the year. He's explosive. Will Levis to Chig? Oh my God.

I can see it. I love that. I talk myself into that. Meanwhile, I'm like, I don't know. George Kittle, maybe not. You ever see George Kittle on his own? Not for me. I'm like,

Juan Johnson could have a year with Derek Carr. Any other tats you want to talk about anything else here that you want to elaborate on running back? I think overall my main thought is like, I agree with you on the receivers. But I think once the top tier of receivers is gone, I actually think the running back are a value, but I really think that it's a switch. It used to be running backs in the first round receivers in the second. And we're just kind of like, yeah, probably receiving the first round or Kelsey and then

running backs in the second. So the ideal fantasy team based off our tattoos is you draft a wide receiver in the first round. You don't have any 49. Oh, yeah, you draft Kelsey in the first round and not a running back. You don't have any 49ers running backs on your team. Any players, any 49ers players. All of your receivers have good quarterbacks.

You have a top three. Tyler Locker. You draft Mahomes, Alaner Hertz. You hold on to your Ricky wide receivers. And you take good players. You take good players. Good boring 28-year-old players. Just make the right picks.

Don't be like Leo DiCaprio. It's okay if they're 28. I know it's hard. You know, Kyle Fitz is younger than Dalton Kincaid. Kyle Pitts is going to be the next damn Darnold. He's like in five years. He's going to be like 24 years old. Dude, I actually believe in Darnold.

I'm not giving up on that. What is the, I just, I don't, I'm not even kidding. It's like the problem with Donald was his brain, but Kyle Shannon will replace his brain. So then it's fine. You know who's also still really young is Josh Jacobs is only 25. Well, yeah, running back years. He doesn't turn 26 until, until the off season. Like he is a full 25 for the whole year.

I feel like Josh Jacobs has been in the league for 10 years. He came out early too. I think he was like 20, 21. Yeah. Do you guys have any tattoos? I don't. I don't. none of us do Craig do you I have a dot on my arm

oh you told me you got one with your friend just to be like oh we'll say we have a tattoo it's not yeah it's not that cool it's actually kind of lame but it we did do that you thought you were being all clever at the time not I mean there's nothing not really we weren't like we're gonna trick people we were just like it'd be funny to get the smallest tattoo possible how much did you have to pay to get a is it literally a dot looks like a freckle although it's kind of faded now so it looks pretty bad but where is it let me put it on the zoom you're not

I'm not going to go to see it. It's on my forearm. It's that. Literally like a freckle. Oh, so it's exactly where if you get a massage on your, your forearm for like you have like a wrist tendonitis or something. Or like that's exactly the spot. Like you got a massage.

I'm unfamiliar with the tendinitis massage. You don't talk about it. No, a carpal, I don't know. Like a that's right on the nerve. Yeah, it's right there. It's kind of that upper upper form. You get massages all the time. You're looking at me.

I don't know, but I don't know what you're talking about. You've never gotten that like right here. It's a nerve. You just. I just said that as if everybody, that was a colloquial thing. We all, we're working from home using our computers. Everyone's got like wrist tightness. How many of 27-year-olds are getting tendonitis massages?

I don't, I haven't heard anyone. D.K. is 40. He gets a massage twice a month. But you were the one who said it. Like, like you thought it was super common. You're 28 or whatever. I don't know. You live in L.A.

I thought you'd know. I don't know. People are just getting tendonitis massages? I don't know, man. It's, you have, you working on computers. Not a thing. Your hands. Email us at Ringer Fantasyfootballchemil.com.

Okay. It's like, it's not that I didn't know what you were talking about. It's just like nobody does that. Nobody's familiar. Nobody goes to the masseuse to get their forearm.

For ten to my wrist. I got a random dot tattooed on them to say good and this has been turned on me. Craig gets a bad ass tattoo. It's not. But it was pretty funny to send a photo to our parents of us getting the tattoo. cost like $30.

How many sessions did it take? Are your parents like anti-tattoo? No, but like knowing me, I'm not really the type of guy to get a tattoo. So they were like, what are you, what's, what are you doing? They like didn't believe it. It almost didn't work. Did it hurt? No, honestly.

Who's the most tatted up person at the at the ringer? I have one person in mind already. Sales. Sales? Yeah, it's just sales. Does he have, it just covers his entire body? He's at sleeves, right? we should have man if we if people want ring your fancy football at gmail.com one email us your

tattoos stories we don't have to email us about the wrist tettiditis unless you want to wait I want to get more specific on the text email us stupid reasons why you got a tattoo or stupid tattoos you got that's a good prompt that's a good prompt stupid tattoos or stupid reasons and if we get enough maybe we can maybe ben affleck will email us oh my god Ben A from L.A. or I guess it was Boston. We should get sales to come on one time and talk about us. That's his. Who's the second most tatted person at the ringer?

I don't think anyone. He's like the Travis Kelsey of tattoos. No one is. He's got like 30 and doesn't know why he got 20 of them. Ben A, 50 years old, Los Angeles. My wife, Jennifer, hates my back tattoo. You know what I never understood about that tattoo? It's a giant Phoenix on his back.

It obviously took multiple sessions. You know? It wasn't back out after one time. It wasn't like he was out drunk doing karaoke and one of his buddies was like, let's go get tats. Like that took weeks to do. Did he have regrets halfway through? I just can't, I can't imagine why he got that tattoo. I think that, I don't know, once you're in that state, like, you just kind of, what are you going to do, admit that you're a quarter of the way through a terrible tattoo?

Like, you just kind of got to like, be like, no, this is going to work. I guess. And give it hell. I think I would try to reverse it. If I was a fourth of the way in. Snipsnaps. What they say about people with conspiracy. Snips that.

So what they say, conspiracy theories? It's like if you, like, uh, go against someone head on in their beliefs, they actually dig their heels in further. It's like, if you tell someone that's a bad tattoo,

like they have to dig in and be like, no, it's actually great. You just don't get, it's like, you know, I got a lion for a really deep reason. Because I'm a Leo,

but I'll get to do it. Because I'm a Leo. Emails about your tattoos. Ring your fantasy football Gmail. All right. Emails. A lot of emails on Kai's eating habits. Kai, get in here.

Ha ha ha. Lot of emails on Kai. So if you missed last six episode, last couple of weeks, we've been talking about how we learned when we were in Europe that Kai eats, like, I mean, I feel like this is the only factual way to say it, a small child. Yeah, he's, he's ordering off the kid menu. That's definitely the most accurate way to describe it, yeah.

His top 10 foods were chicken tenders, scrambled eggs and bacon, pizza, but he doesn't like cheese, shrimp for some reason. Chicken fried rice, waffles. It doesn't fit. A turkey sandwich, but only with bread and turkey and then meatballs. And burgers too. Burgers are in there somewhere. Burgers.

The turkey and bread is the most heinous thing I've ever heard. I might have one for lunch today. Who knows? I had one a couple days ago. It was great. And a gallon of water to wash it down.

It's just so dry. Got an email from Jonas. Jonas. Listening to the top 10 list of Kai's food, I could not stop thinking about scurvy. He's going to get scurvy. Which as though the disease that pirates get. So first, I'd like to inform Kai that he's at risk for scurvy.

And I also think he should be referred to as Kai, the pirate. Kai, you got to just start sucking on lemons. What does that do? Does that help with scurvy? Scurvy is a lack of vitamin C. Yeah. Sailors used to get it when they're out at sea. I don't know the details of what it means.

Your vitamin C intake is very low. That's all fruits and veggies. Yeah, I got to get some lemons. Got to do that. They got a new pill for him now. I kind of like Kai the Pirate, though. It kind of turned. It's like the nice positive thing on all this horrible food.

The pirate. Yeah, the pirate. It's just eating hard tack what the sailors eat. We also got an email from Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. This is incredible. He says, we had our first kid last week.

Congrats. This was obviously a stressful day, but grandma gave us a break to go for a walk during the first stages of labor. And I will forever thank. your episode last week, trust lust or dust, for the brief respite of hilarity on a very stressful day.

So this guy's wife is literally in labor and they're listening to Kai describe how he eats his turkey sandwiches and just breath. I'm so sorry. I apologize. The more important,

more important things in life, yeah. So shot all the parents. He asked again, the music that D.K. recommends for kids that need to fall asleep is the Misty Mountains from the Hobbit, which we actually get emails every week from somebody who needs that.

That being said, Ryan says, we need to name Kai's segment where he tries new food, Kai's Locke's of the Week, where Kai makes a bet, and that if he loses the bet he is to try new foods, obviously the first food would be a Locke's bagel since Kai likes seafood. I don't know what a lox bagel is. What is that? It's anti-Semitic is what that is. It is smoked salmon and cream cheese on a bagel. I'm out. I don't like that.

I'm so out. No shit, man. is like starting in level five. Like I'm down to do something, but we got to start a little lower than that. Locks of the week is good, though. It is good. The locks of the week is great. What I think we should do is during the NFL season,

whatever fantasy league, Kai's in like, I think one big league with his buddies. I think every week Kai loses, he has to try a new food. And depending on how bad he lost, that determines kind of the severity of the food. The locks scale.

Yeah, it's the lock scale. Where if he loses by like five, he's trying a ritzcracker. But if he loses by 40, he's trying like canned sardines. Yeah, this is like my version of the shotgunning of a beer if you get a zero. That's true. I was going to say as long as we like establish a scale beforehand.

So like it's not like, okay, here's a 10 and it's like the most insane thing you've ever done. If like your factory is eating like literally. If you lose by like one to 10, it would be like nuts and grains and then we'll move our way up to like fruits and veggies and then like weird meats and then like 50 plus you're trying like quail eggs or something. It's nuts. Yeah. I'll definitely consider it. I want you all to know, too, that in a great move of ringer synergy over on the prestige TV pod, now it's become a topic of conversation. I mean, it was the last run, too.

But now it's, like, heavily. Like, I just get cooked every week. So it's wonderful. Ironic. Cooked. How did that get brought up? How did they learn about that? Well, so they learned about it in the last of us run.

I mean, everyone learns at some point. And then the reaction is always the same of, like, what are you and what's wrong with you? They called me the Zodiac Killer. So that's another nickname, the pirate, Zodiac Killer. What have you eaten today? I have not done good today. That's a terrible day to ask this. Actually, I had a pop-toe yesterday.

But today I had a couple of those tiny sandwiches, like, sandwiches, Jimmy Dean sandwiches. And then I had this go macro bar. I haven't had lunch yet. So it's a tough day so far. So it was like a sausage egg and biscuit or something? It's just a sausage and the biscuit. Right.

And then a plain protein bar. It just tastes like protein. There's no flavor infused. Your saliva, dude, is working overtime. This was mocha chocolate chips. So kind of crazy for me. Kai's saliva is like acid, dude. Kai's saliva could like burn through floors.

That thing is cutting through. Aliens. It's like alien plasma. Oh, man. Yeah. So, yeah. I'll consider this. I know my league would love it.

I don't know if I want to tell them about it yet. But I'm not against the idea. Not 100% against the idea. Well, it's not really up to you. You don't get to choose your nickname. Go 12 and 0. Then you'll be fine. You're right.

It does give me some added incentive to really go hard this year. Yeah, by the way, hope you were listening while we were talking about all our memento tattoos because that will help you guide you along this process. The locks of the week. I know who to blame if I don't win this year. So, yeah, that's fair. All right, we got emails about the horse hooves. Don't just don't look this up, people.

Don't Google horse hooves. Craig is definitely like he's changed. He looks like a changed person. He's been very like, just tired. Yeah. It's like I just drank out of the wrong, holy grail at the end of Indiana Jones.

That's what I was like after. Great, great rewatchables episode. Craig's on the rewatchables too this week with this is the end. That's right. Check out the rewatches. Hell yeah. A little wedding gift. But yeah, so D.K.

opposite of a wedding gift, DK was like, yeah, don't Google horse hoarse. and I didn't because I don't like those things. It's baby horseshoes. Baby horses. And so it's, DK was like it's the most horrifying thing ever. I forgot about it until now and now I'm freaked out again.

And if you're listening now, it's like just know that you got to make a decision. So anyway, get emails about this. This is from, honestly, I think I'll leave this person anonymous. So on the last episode,

you guys talk about how looking at baby horses is the most disgusting thing imaginable and you cannot unsee them. Originally, I was not going to look it up, but I was like, you know what, screw it. I'm not, I ain't no bitch.

So I look it up on my computer. And I was so instantly disgusted that I shut my laptop. It's bad. We're not exaggerating. It is horrific. It's a blood bath. It's a blood bath out there. So Alex, oh, there we go.

It's Alex. Alex. So Alex continues. A few hours later, I hear my seven-year-old son screaming. No. He went to my laptop to watch YouTube, and I forgot that I left the tab open with the picture of the baby horses. Because he slammed his laptop shut literally.

I love this. My son went to bed that night and at two in the morning I hear him screaming even louder. Get these hands off. I run in the room and he was having a- He was having a nightmare that his hands had been replaced by baby horses. Okay, now I kind of feel bad. We traumatized this young boy. I'm sorry, Alex's son.

We traumatized a literal child. And Alex followed up to say that his son is all right now, but his wife now hides the laptop. I mean, this is a lesson to be learned. Don't just close whatever is on your laptop. Or don't just like, you need to like exit out, delete your history, delete your cash, delete your entire hard drive of all memory. What are you doing on your computer?

What are you looking up? Horses. What would have been worse for that young child? Horshoves are just straight up porn. At this point, maybe it's horsesives. I didn't see him. Would you rather? I don't know.

Oh, I'm that note. Highfitz, you got to look it up, man. I'm going to see how long I can go. I don't want to see it. I'm going to text that to Hyphitz at midnight at break. I don't want to do, I don't like scary movies and I don't do horses. I'm just like, why would I want to feel those feelings? You're like horsehows fishing.

It's like, click on this link to get a free Best Buy gift card. And then it's just going to be horseshives. There's a problem with your Netflix account. Yeah. All right. All right. This one's from Austin. Austin.

Gail? No. Okay. Hi, Austin. That was weird. All right. Austin. Off your most recent episode, I decided to look up horse hooves based on Craig.

How many people did this? Yeah, a lot. I decided to Google it based on Craig losing part of his soul in the process. Two hours, see, that doesn't appeal to me. Two hours later, I got a ping message from IT asking questions about what I have been doing on my work computer. Are horse hooves worst? Porn. Coming up next.

Yeah. Austin continues, I shit myself when I realized that they were messaging me about Googling horses. I work at a small ad agency and our IT can definitely see what we do in our computers. I debated doing the life swap witness protection. You guys talked about cringe and just switch your lives. So I explained to the IT people and probably too long of an explanation. I heard a tidbit for one of my favorite podcast.

about how baby horsesrooms are disgusting and they're the worst thing ever and I just had to see the baby horses for myself. I'm so sorry it won't happen again. IT responds. They're running a software update. They were not contacting me about horses. Oh, my.

So Austin writes, do I quit my job? Move to Arizona. He says, now I do need cringe. I need to swap witness protection my life. I love, I love. picturing Austin, like, don't ever commit a crime, dude, because you're going to be like, you're going to be confessing to the whole damn thing to just a stranger on the street. This is such like a classic sitcom scene, you know, when the person walks down, you're like,

I'm sorry, like, I didn't mean to eat the birthday cake. I'm like, what are you talking about? It's my birthday. Classic mix-up. I'd be funny if IT people think, like, you think that they can see all your stuff, but actually everyone just admits it to them in advance all the time. I like the idea that IT is watching live what you're doing. Like they got better things to do. Come on.

Like those FBI memes, it's like you're like, FPI texting. Hey, we're outside. We got him. Horse hooves. Been trying to get, try to nail this fucker for weeks. He finally Googled horse hooves.

I mean this sincerely, though, to all those listening, do not Google baby horse hooves. I'm not doing it. You're going to do it. All right. Email us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com if you want. Have more stories about baby horsehoves.

if you, what were the other things we wanted? The tattoo stories. Yeah, tattoo stories. Dumb tattoos you have are your friends or tattoos that you got for dumb reasons. Pictures are welcome. And yeah. That might be it. Shouts out Lemento.

Shouts out Chris Nolan. Oppenheimer coming up. Ooh, can't wait for that. Shout out Christo. Oh, my God. Are you going to do, I kind of want to do the Oppenheimer Barbie double feature thing. I actually think it started as a Twitter. joke that people were making. I'm like, I actually,

that sounds like a hilarious day. D.K., you picked me as an Oppenheimer guy. Oh, big time. Yeah. He's a father. He has to know these things. I'm very excited. It's going to be fun. Kai. Kai said he got, he's locked in with his double feature tickets. He's seeing both, Barbie and Oppenheimer.

So obviously, I have been reading the Wikipedia pages and stuff of the Manhattan Project. And, you know, a bunch of people quit the Manhattan Project? Because, like, scientists that, like, we're experts in this, were, Out of moral protest, they thought it shouldn't happen because they were like, there's like a 10% chance that will just, you know, ignite the nitrogen in the atmosphere and all of Earth will explode. I mean, that's, that's tough. There's high stakes, if you will. I know in the preview, he's like, there's a non-zero chance.

Was it 10% really? I don't know. I think it was a very small chance. Not 10%. It's great. All right. I'm excited to see both films. When are you going to be?

see him. You're getting married that week. On your honeymoon? Are you going to do with Liz on your honeymoon? No. I mean, doesn't it not come out for a while? Is it like July 21st or something like that? Yeah, I think I'm home. That's the 14th. July 14th? Oh, it's the 21st. Okay, there we go. I'll be back. That's good stuff. All right.

We're getting out of here. Shout out Nolan. Check out Craig on the rewatchables for This is the End, which is also my favorite movie and also the Indiana Jones one, which is great as well. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, everyone who emailed us about all the Kai stuff. Thank you, Kai, for letting us bully him.

Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you, Lauren Hill. Hmm. Is it because Kai is miseducated? Oh. Good reference. Is that name?

Ms. Lauren Hill. Isn't that her name? Yeah, that's what it is on Spotify. Is that new? Or was she always Ms. Lauren Hill? I do not know that. It's like the Mike Thomas thing. Right.

All of a sudden we're calling on Mike now? Why are we calling him Mike? He's been Michael in his career, his entire time. You guys should just go by Dan Kelly and Dan Heifitz for the rest of the year. Speaking of which, until Michael Thomas has a 100-yard game, you have to go by Dan Kelly and Dan Heifitz. Speaking of which, the Michael Thomas lifting stuff, I really, that had the vibe of a ghost sighting. And I'm starting to think Michael Thomas is just a guy. ghost. Like he just appears. People are like,

look, he's there. He's never practicing. He's never doing anything. He's just alone. No one can corroborate these things. If you have like any thoughts or strings and thread here that Michael Thomas is a ghost, like New Orleans has a lot of ghosts, also email sort of ringer fantasy football at gmail. I don't think he actually exists. He never did. Look, generative

AI is pretty powerful. That could have been AI Mike Thomas lifting. You could only see a deep fake. It's a deep fake. Yeah. Deep fake. It's just RFKJ. All right, goodbye, everyone.