The Ringer NFL Show - 5 Fantasy Players Everyone is Too Horny For

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

The summer is winding down, fantasy football is heating up, and people are starting to fall in love with their sleepers. But sometimes, people get a little too excited about their guy. We’re here to temper those expectations. (3:05 - Javonte Williams, Broncos (8:33) - Kadarius Toney, Giants (12:10) - Brandon Aiyuk, 49ers (20:58) - JuJu Smith-Schuster, Chiefs (29:10) - Eli Mitchell, 49ers (34:42) - Emails Check out The Ringer’s Fantasy Football Draft Guide for rankings, tiers, sleepers, and more! Email us! [e-mail]. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Call me sentimental, but to me, the most joyful moment in sports is the soccer goal. And when that goal happens at the World Cup, well, it's pretty good. I'm Brian Phillips. With the 22 men's World Cup approaching, I'm making a podcast called 22 goals on the Ringer Podcast Network. It's about 22 of the most fire emoji goals in the history of the tournament. We're going to have so much fun. Your fantasy football show, my name is Danny Hyphins, and I am joined. by Danny Kelly, you Kirk, We're doing the players that people are just too horny for in 2020.

Just calm down, people. We're going to get a spray bottle. We get it. It's the summer. It's the end of the summer. People are excited. People are excited for fantasy football. People love their sleepers.

People love the players they're targeting. But sometimes people get too excited. Goes too far. It's hot fantasy boy summer, and we got to chill. All right? Not every guy you like is going to be a stud this year. It's just not going to work out. Craig compared it yesterday to kind of like when you go see a shitty movie because there's a really hot woman in it.

Yeah, I went and saw 2018, I saw Laura Croft, the new Tomb Raider, because Alicia Vagandor was in it. Not a very good movie. Jennifer's Body with Megan Fox. That is the quintessential one. When did that movie come out? Like 2010 or something? July 2009, 2009, not that I would remember. Budget 13.4 million.

Have you guys never heard the expression sex cells? Yeah, it's like, D.K., remember when we were talking about the purpose of advertising? I was going to say, do you want me to explain to you how, like, Hollywood works or something like that? No, okay. We're just saying, there's a lot of window dressing here on some of these players, and it doesn't actually mean what you think it does. But our, like, our friend, Sean Yu will often, like, he's just, he just loves Jody Comer from Kling Eve, and he'll just sometimes tweet out a picture of Joni Comer looking really hot. And then Mina Kimes will just reply with that meme that's like, horny, please, go to Hornie Jell, bong. The dog bonking the other dog on the head.

The other one that One of my favorite horny police memes is when you see it from modern family Jay Pritchett squirting manny with a squirt bottle Like a dog that's like Chewing on something or whatever This is this is our version of that

That meme we're gonna bonk people Yeah, get a little too excited Maybe squirt bottle I don't know what the difference is really If there's a differentiation But we'll use both I'm gonna work in a couple sound effects Throughout the episode

You'll hear a bomp And a spray bottle sound when we're talking about certain players. I can't wait to hear what bong you chose, which one you landed on. Because we were brainstorming. Who knows? Yeah.

Well, that's what we're doing today. We're just setting up, we're just bonking people till they go to horny jail. And that's, I want to start today with, I think, the horniest player of 2022, the people, to be clear,

the player that people are horniest for, huge difference. And that's Giovante Williams, the running back for the Bronters. 100%. Everyone's just raring to go. It's like, I get it.

I get it. Russell is there and they're going to win the Super Bowl. And like, And, like, they're really good. And that offense is going to get better. Jivante, really fun runner. I get it. I get it.

Everyone needs to calm down. Every, like, like, squirt bottle away. Bunk. By the way, when I was looking at the memes behind, like, the dog bonged meme or whatever, I came across the expression, horny on Maine, which I had forgotten existed. And it's, like, the best expression ever. Basically, and it originates from when Ted Cruz accidentally liked some porn tweet or something on its main account instead of creating a secondary account.

to go like all your porn stuff on Twitter. Anyways, so this is, yeah, people are really horny on Maine about Javante Williams. I'll admit to being a little bit horny on Maine about Javante Williams. Like I like Javante Williams. He breaks a lot of tackles. He is a fun runner to watch.

He's very talented. He's good in the passing game. But it does feel a little bit like it's gone too far. If Javent was on the Colts and Jonathan, if he replaced Jonathan Taylor, where would he get drafted? Ooh, that's a good question. Maybe first?

Yeah, maybe like late first. So that's why people, need to chill. I think Javante's situation is the most horny police of them all, which is like young, uber talented back, but he's paired with like a veteran who knows how to play that the team likes, and they don't want to overuse their young stud. And that's

what you got to get over, folks. Javante is not going to get 300 carries this year. Him and Melvin Gordon had the exact same number of carries last year. They brought Melvin Gordon back. This team wants to go deep into the playoffs. He's not going to be a three-down back. He won't. I know you want him to, but he won't.

wasn't that good, you know? Isn't it Lara Croft? Laura Croft. It is Laura. Like, Laura Croft is like, No, I agree, though. It's like, when Melvin Gordon didn't resign initially with the Broncos, everyone was like,

oh my God, Giovanni Williams would be like a first rounder. But then Melvin Gordon resigned, and then the horniest didn't secide. It's like that girl you had a huge crush on. Like, she's with a person. Like, she's with someone. She moved on, man. She's married.

She moved on. And again, I like Giovante Williams. It's just like, they're going to rotate the way like Aaron Jones or AJ Dylan did because Nathaniel Hackett, the Broncos coach came from Grebe. Here's the thing. You know who else can rotate like Aaron Jones? Aaron Jones! Except he actually could lead the Packers and catches this year and he's going behind

Giovante. It's like, oh, maybe Giovante, I understand, could win the three-down job and maybe Melvin Gordon gets hurt or Giovante's just so much better. Maybe he'll get the three-down job. You know who else has the three-down job? Sequin, who on ESPN is like 12 spots behind Giovante Williams. It doesn't make any sense to me. I love Giovante.

He's a fun player. I would take them, to be clear, in like the third. round like the 20s, I'd be fine taking Giovante. But like Giovante Williams going in the teens, it's just bonk, bonk, bonk, bong, bong. Settle down, folks. If you look at even Yahoo's ADP right now, the people going after Javante Williams, Sequin Barclay, who will get more touches per game than Javonel. Leonard Fournett, who will probably get more touches per game.

It's a three down back. Ezekiel Elliott, maybe similar, if not more touches per game. James Connor, going to get more touches per game. Like, come on, folks. that's an interesting range. I'd rather have Giovante than like Zeke, but that's kind of just at some point like a little concerned about like one guy

is trending up, down. But even then, it's like there's a work. I guess what I'm saying is that there's the upside that you're drafting Giovante Williams for is for him to overtake Melvin Gordon completely. But in the world where Javanti just exists as, yeah, they just have a cool time share and a good offense.

It's like, uh, you can get guys who have better jobs than that right now and also have similar upside. I don't know. D.K., would you rather have Javanti or James Connor? God, that is like the most sexy player ever versus the most boring player ever. That's like saying, do you want to watch Lara Croft

or a documentary on botany? Do you just change it to LaraCraft? Is it Lara? What is it? Laura? It's Laura. Laura Croft. Laura Croft.

It's almost like Craig wasn't there for like the canon of the Laura Croft Tomb Raider. It's not there for the words. I'm trying to decide if I would take, I still don't know. I think I'd probably take Javante just because I am guilty of this, like, You're horny police thing.

I'm like guilty of it. Because look, this is where we were last year with Jonathan Taylor. Like, oh, he could eventually be just this elite high volume guy. But there's this problem where you're having Naheem Hines kind of like they're talking about using him a lot. But Naheem Hines and Melvin Gordon are like completely different players. You know what I mean? And so that's what makes me pause here. And I'm just like maybe there is a world where Javante Williams just completely overtakes Melvin

Gordon and we end up looking stupid for bonging people. here and that could happen. But there's also, I think it's more likely that they just do a 50-50 split again or at least like 55, 45, 60, 40, whatever it is. And Giovante Williams is getting drafted at his complete ceiling versus, you know, completely outplaying his ADP, if that makes sense. So like, I don't know, I'm still falling for it, but I definitely acknowledge that we probably have them too high. I also just want to point out that Melvin Gordon, I think is also completely capable of also getting passing work and that Melvin Gordon is, at least in the beginning of the season. I actually think will probably be the guy in the two-minute drill and everything because

Russell appreciates a veteran. So that's kind of like when I think about, you know, people who need a little water bottle spritz. It's like everyone, just calm down to Javante stuff. I'm curious, D.K., who is the guy that you see this season, everyone kind of salivating over? And you're like, you know what? Bunk. Well, I'm bonking ourselves because I've talked up Cadarious Tony in the past. Damn it. Damn it, D.K. I'm bunking Craig and I. I'm bunking myself. I'm bonking Craig, squirt bottle, whatever it is. I've been guilty of hyping him up. Look, I think I had him on one of our sleeper shows.

Like, I have been into this. But I just, when you look at the big picture, he has three games, three good games in his career. It is career. He's played one season. Yeah. Three games. He's hurt.

I know, and that's the point. He had three games and eight injuries. Three games. How does that happen? Is fewer than the number of injuries he picked up as a rookie. As Hyfitz likes to say, he had a hamstring, ankle, quad, oblique, shoulder, and knee injuries as a rookie. And now he's not practicing because of a knee injury again.

Might not practice this week. It sounds like his schedule or timeline to come back is completely unknown to the coaching staff. I know that he was kind of like running around on the side today at practice. But to me, Cadarius, like very talented, obvious. It's obvious. You can see it like when he plays. But he is the quintessential one thing after another guy.

Like it's just one thing after another. And like I think Typhus tweeted it. the other day. It's like, I just cannot see this guy play in a full season. So even though he's already relatively cheap, like, I'm just like trying, I'm trying to like take a step back from my Defante, or from my Cadarius Tony hype because while I appreciate the talent, like, he is just chaos. And for that reason, I'm out. Thank you for joining the right side of history, D.K. Craig, what do you have to say for your horny self? Scares me. It all makes tons of sense, but the great thing about being horny is that you could, it's irrational.

it's Craig's going to Lara Croft anyway it's primal you know what I mean I can't deny it it's my id coming out a fantasy id oh man see I think that you you see like this you know hot person who like showed up for you like three times really well and I think about someone who like ghosted you 14 times yeah like Kedarius Tony is definitely like the girl who I don't know you every time you go to a party shoot you hope she talks to you and she does like once it's the opposite it's They text you and say, hey, I'm, like, excited to see you at this party. And they're like, yeah. And then you go and then they never come to the party.

Or she sent that to like 10 different guys. Exactly. And then they're all there and you thought they were getting, she was going to show up. My only fear is like, you guys are just calling everybody horny because Cadarius Tony gets hurt a lot. That's it. It has nothing to do with his onfield ability or like the scheme. Like the Javante stuff is all about like how he's going to get used. The only thing wrong with Cadarius is that you think he's going to get hurt, which.

No, no, no, no, no. We're not going here. I know what you're trying to say. Because like, look, this is the horny irrational. What you're trying to say is that obviously it's like, oh, what if people get hurt? Scurts. Scurts. Yeah, squirt, squirt.

Scurts. I'm thinking with my second brain. You're, yeah. You're acting like it's some hypothetical that Cadarious Tony could get hurt in the future. Cadarius Tony is being limited. He's currently hurt. He's not practicing. And they're giving him the veteran treatment.

This is what's blowing my mind. I can't remember a 23-year-old football player who's given precautionary rest weeks, not days, to keep him in shape. Like, this is what they do when, like, Von Miller's like 33, and they're like, you know, this is the key core piece for our Super Bowl team. Or Rob Grancowski, like, he's not practicing. He knows what to do with Brady. We're just going to bring him out for game day.

It's like, Cadres Tony, is 10 years away from the age. You're supposed to be where that happens. And it's happening right now. It's August 16th. I understand. Yeah, I understand. I feel bad now. Is there anyone else you want a horny shame now that we just kink shamed you?

I do want to talk about Brandon Ayuk. I think people need to settle the hell down. This is Dekin. I love Ayuk. I'm sick of like Ayuk is the star of 49ers camp. I'm sick of it. I would need a show. I did some, you know, I listened to some pods, did some digging, read some stuff about the

Niners. And I just, it's just really hard for me to believe that if the Niners are healthy, Brandon Ayuk is like not even a. are like an above average, really solid fantasy player. First of all, looking at the Shanahan offense, the scoring offense when he's been with the Niners, overall total scoring offense since he's been with the Niners. He was 20th, 21st, second, 21st, and 13th.

It basically just depends on when he has the right QB. His non-garbage time pass play rate, which means just how much they pass the ball when the game is not over. 8th, 25th, 30th, 20th, 30th. His pace over the last three years, 20th, 31st, 28th. So this team is a run-heavy team that moves the ball slowly and is a middling scoring team.

And now they're adding Trey Lance, who is obviously a run-heavy quarterback. So there's been 27 offenses. I'm pulling out a lot of stats for you, boys. There's been 27 offenses over the past 10 years. If there's anything that's going to make me not feel horny, it's stats. It's numbers. Yeah. Oh, Jesus.

Right. 27 offenses over the last 10 years that had a QB who averaged five rush attempts for more per game. So essentially, 27 offenses had a QB that ran a lot. lot in the last 10 years. The average wide receiver two finish for those teams was 55th. I get, hold on. I'm sorry. I yuk was in the doghouse last year. We talked about that. He was out of the doghouse in week eight. He had a great second half of the season. Weeks eight through the NFC championship when he was presumably out of the quote unquote doghouse. He averaged six targets

a game for 60 yards. He was the wide receiver 25. Debo missed a game. Kittle missed a game. He was like fine. And that was with Jimmy Garapolo. If Kittle or Dibo go down, I don't. and I that IUC is probably going to be great. But he's going before guys like Christian Kirk in drafts, which is insane to me because Christian Kirk is absolutely going to lead his team in targets and what could be like a past heavy offense. Like Iuke

I think is going to just see five targets a game. I think he's very talented, but I'm not sure that he's going to do anything on the field or have any opportunity to really, you know, blossom. So I get your numbers, but I, the problem is, I mean, obviously the horny part of my brain hates numbers, but I'm going to actually take your numbers and put them in the trash, and here's why. Because how much the

Niners were passing, well, one, because it helps my argument, but two, how much the Niners were passing, I think basically the Niners' offense the last few years is not irrelevant, but the quarterbacks they had, I mean, I think when Shannon started, they had like Brian Hoyer, and then they traded for Jimmy Garoppolo, and then Garoppolo got hurt, so they had Nick Mullins, and then Garoppel got hurt again, so they went from Garapolo back to Nick Mullins, and like, they literally just got rid of Jimmy because he was hurt again. So most of the Shanan tenure has been Brian Hoyer, Jimmy Garoppolo, injured Jimmy Garoppel, and Nick Mullins, filling in for Jimmy Garapolo.

And like those guys have nothing in common with the off. They're throwing that offense out and they are going to do a different version of the offense of Trey Lance. Yeah, but that office is not going to throw or that's not going to throw more than they did with. Well, well, no, the argument we were making, we were talking about this last week is basically that what Jimmy Garapolo is good at is much more akin to like what Debo Samuel is good at, but like not what Iyuk is.

And not that Debo doesn't work with Trey Lance, but more that what Trey Lance is good at, like throwing outside the numbers, which Jimmy just doesn't do. because he kind of can't and they're, and, you know, knows his limitations. Brandi and Yook's much better at that. And Traylans and Brayne and Euk lived in a house together this off season.

I could give a shit. Shower narrative. Oh, but okay, but when Stafford and Cooper Cup get breakfast every morning, it's like, oh,

but like, they lived in a house. Like, for better and worse, well, Depot wanted a trade or a contract, Brandon and Ayuk and Traylans were living in a house together, which sounds like a reality show.

Trilance ran the ball over 10 times a game when he started. I just simply... He had a broken finger and didn't, wasn't able to throw a spy but Jimmy couldn't play, so they had to run a lot. Shanahan has always run a lot. That's his bread and butter. There is no way in hell that Trey Lance throws the ball 40 times a game.

It's just simply not happening. If Kittal, Iyuk, and Debo are on the field, he's the third option on a team that's run heavy. I think that's a better option is that young, rushing quarterbacks struggle to maintain sometimes two options, but really I think rushing quarterback struggle to have like three top end, like fantasy teams. receiving targets.

Yeah. Yeah, fantasy contributors in the past game. That's what concerns me is the reason we like Lances for the rushing, but it's what you said. It's Debo, Kittle, and Ayuk, and it's like... This has been, yeah, this has been nagging at the back of my mind during the whole time I've been hyping up Ayuk because I love Ayuk. I think he's super talented. And as Haif has said, I think his skill set, his style as a receiver really meshes

really well with what Tray Lance brings to the table. So here's the problem, though, like, as Craig laid out, it's kind of a zero-sum game here where like if if iuk is going to go off that means either debo samuel or uh george kiddle are kind of severely under well more just a point so i think you have to build a scenario here where if you're believing in iuk you have to basically really like aggressively fade debo right like is that how this works or kiddle i guess i i feel yes basically you're saying it's it's that you're saying you think debo and i yuk are going to kind of be closer to the middle of one another I think that is the case.

And maybe that's the mistake I'm making, but I actually do think that's what's going to happen. And again, sometimes I feel like a moron for saying Debo will be worse. But I actually think that. Not that Debo's worse as a player. But Debo was getting basically the first half of the season, like,

I don't know, like a third of the Niners passing offense. That just won't happen again. I think that Debo can be very good with like 20 and Iyuk can be closer to 20. And that's basically what I'm saying is that I, the Niners will always find a way to get Debo the ball. But I just,

I think that I yuk, again, we're under talking about Horny, please. Part of the reasons Ayuk is so exciting is like, I know you said he's athletic. Brandon Ayuk, if you ranked every player in the NFL, Dek, I'm curious. If you had to rank every player in the NFL

by this simple metric, how confident are you that they can hurdle a defender on a given play? Is Ayuk top four? He's up there. He's up there. Yeah, but you want to know what's funny, the only two players who are more athletic

and impressive than Brandon Ayuk are the other two guys on his team, George Kiddler and Vivo Samuel. Right. They have a type. They have a type. Craig's like, not for me. Not for me. You know, listen, I just don't think, like, D.K.

has him ranked 63rd on his personal rankings, but in our aggregate ranking, that's right around, like, guys like Christian Kirk and Darnal Mooney and Amari Cooper and Jerry Judy and Drake London. I just, those guys are just projected for so much work. I don't know. Damn it. Damn it, Craig. Settle down, people.

Bok. Six targets a game in his breakout season. six targets a game. This has been like nagging me, you know what I mean? But the Jimmy numbers can't be applied. I think that what you're saying, Craig, and what holds water for me is not any of the stats from the last year of the Niners. It's that the uncertainty of Trey Lance.

However, the way I'm approaching the Niners this year is that the uncertainty of what Trey Lance does the offense, I can't speak English, but the uncertainty of what Trey Lance does to the offense should count harder to me against Debo being a rock solid top 18 player than Brandon Ayuk being top 70. However, I hear what you're saying and counting on,

look, at the end of the day, do you guys know how many passes Brandon Iuk is thrown in like the last 900 days? You mean, Traylanx? In a game, yeah, sorry, what did I say? Brin May you?

How many is he thrown? You think? Probably six. No, but in a game, Traylance competitive, six. I don't know.

But competitive football, Trey Lance has thrown 100 passes in like 900 days in games. So you can look at it as how are you counting iyuk to be the third option i'm looking at it more like i kind of think with the uncertainty i'll bet on the cheapest guy but i hear you're saying i kind of think i see him like a devonte smith i'm like me hey by the way

he has been blowing up camp the last few days no my we're gonna fall for it ah i should have done george pickens horny police honestly i really want to except um except for no one's squirting anyone he's going off yeah no one's bonk there's no bonging with george no there's no bonk in the george Pickett. I don't know who George Pickett is. Like Megan Fox after Transformers, everyone's like, yep, we're in. I'm going.

Anaconda with J-Lo. I'm going to see that. Sorry, my generation just shown through there. Shined through. My generation is showing. Yeah. All right, D.K.

Sorry, and Craig, I'm not attacking you, but this is another one that I just feel like people need to like relax a little bit, chill out. Juju Smith-Schuster for the Chiefs. Wow! I feel attacked. If it's you're big on Juju this year? I don't know.

To me, he wasn't, but he came around. So I've waffled on this. I will admit, because there is the sort of thing, like someone's got to catch passes in this offense. You're catching passes from Mahomes.

Like, these things are very enticing. These things are very intriguing to us as fantasy players. However, when you, like, look at how Juju Smith-Schuster has played over the last few years, like, there's very much nothing positive about it.

Like, his PFF or is even great has gone down basically since, 2018 every season. His yards per route run has steadily declined every season his career. His A dot, which was over 10, like over 10 yards as a rookie, nine yards like in his big 2018 season. Then it's slowly gone down. Last year was 6.9. He's getting just basically these little dump offs over the middle of field. He is, I feel like he's not as dynamic as people believe he is. He's not as talented as people believe he is, even though he did put up incredible production early in his career.

There is a reason, I think. And I'm not the one that's always going to be like referring or like, you know, believing exactly that NFL teams do everything right because NFL teams make mistakes all the time. However, I think it is very important to remember that in an offseason where NFL teams were handing out like $30 million a year to receivers, Juju got a one year, $3 million deal, $3.2 million deal, one year. No one wanted him.

That's me. It's just a very big, right? flag and I'm worried about it. And I just don't know what to do with this information because, like, I just feel like there's no reason for the chiefs to not replace him with Skymore. If Skymore is better. Like, five weeks in. So this is the one I will defend the most adamant that you're wrong on this.

All right. Because everything I think you just said, this is why numbers are killing all, like, the horniness. All the numbers you just threw out, like, you're right, Judeo's declined. But the reason he's declined in five straight years is because his. first, like, two seasons were some of the best, like, rookie efficiency numbers any receivers ever posted. But here's the thing. Since then.

So, 2017, Judeo was incredible. 2018, Ju-Ju was incredible. And, like, doing unbelievable things at such a young age for a receiver. He looked like one of the best receivers in the NFL. 2019, Ben Rothesberger, like, rips his thumb open in week two. And then, like, basically, the entire Steelers season is, like, what, reduced to, like, Mason Rudolph? Or was, no, is Drew Brees's thumb and Rutherberg's thumb?

I forget. But anyway, Mason Rudolph. then Duck Hodges. We're like out here for 2019. It was his elbow. His elbow, yeah, sorry. And Drew Bree's hurt his thumb the same day. 2020 or 2020 when I forget,

Jujo had his shoulder injury that was, no, last year he was plaguing him the entire season. And then also, like, the last three years, he's had Rathusberger in this diminished state where I can't overestimate, like I can't understate how bad Rothusberger's been with Juju being banged up. But that to me,

I think is really just, he's so undervalued because I'm not saying he's going to be like fourth in receiving yards this year, but he's obviously like the number one ride receiver for the Chiefs. He played every snap with the ones with Kansas City in their preseason game. But then also with the,

the thing I understand what you're saying with the money, I really, this is going to sound ridiculous. It's not the TikTok thing, dude. It's the TikTok thing. Teams will sign freaking divas and crazy people. Like, they don't give a shake

about the TikTok. I understand, look, I think that he's They don't give a shit about that. If he's good, they don't give a shit. They don't give a shit about the things that you think they don't give a shit about. I think teams look at a guy whose body has probably broken down a little bit. I understand that. But also, the TikTok thing, make of what you wish, teams care more about that stuff

than some other things that maybe we wish teams cared about. And I agree, if Juju was like putting up 2,000 years a season, they would sign him anyway. But I promise you, some teams just don't want a guy like, that there. All teams. Apparently. But Juju also has enough money that I do think that he was able to go to the chiefs for less than other teams would have given him.

That feels like such a stretch. I don't know. I stand with D.K., I don't think teams give a shit that he posts on TikTok a lot. Like, every player now, Tyreek has a podcast. Like, players do shit playing video games and esports. But he turned down other, he turned down more money, though. I'm okay with that. The money thing doesn't bother me as much,

but I really don't think his social media presence has anything to do with why teams did not want him. Not every team. I'm saying a portion of teams that might have wanted him just didn't, but then also other teams

would have paid him more money. He took $3 million, I think, to rehab and play with Patrick Mahomes. That I believe. And now he's the number one receiver and I get what you're saying, DK, but here's the thing. First of all, I don't know why Sky Moore

and Juju have to be competing. They can both be starters. Like if Sky Moore's really good, he'll replace Mikul Hardman or Valdeus Scanel. that's number one. It's going to be Juju and Valdez Scantling to start his receivers. Travis Kelsey, the chief is going to be in heavier sets. But then if Skymore's really good, I feel like he's going to replace Frickin Valdez Scantling.

Juju, he's like, if this big slot guy and like if Travis Kelsey is getting double teamed, Juju's the underneath receiver who is going to be getting all the targets. Valdez Scantling is like the speed guy? Is Valdez Scantling going to be the guy like doing all the underneath work? I don't think so. Is Skymore doing that? Maybe. I don't think so. It just makes too much sense. It's the reason they got him. Skymore is much more stylistically similar to juju as a like get open early get like over the middle of the field dump it off like really quickly make yards after the catch they signed mvs for like 10 million a year i think they have a plan for him to like stretch the field and all that yeah i don't know i just think like look you said all the stuff

about rossberger i think that's valid but at the same time the pf receiving grade it takes out what the quarterback is doing it looks at what the receiver is doing only and his in his receiving grade is has dropped precipitously over the last few years like he just hasn't been good but how can you But you can't eliminate the receive, the quarterback from the way the Steelers were. It's route running. It's getting open. It's separation. It's all those things.

Yeah. But the way this, but the Steelers broke the record for how fast they were getting the ball out of Ben's hand. Like, there's no way to eliminate route running if the Steelers are averaging two seconds to throw. I don't know.

Look, I get it. I actually, like, I admit that I probably sound thirsty and desperate. Like, honestly, we're not as far apart on it as, as, like, it we sound. Like, it sounds like we're really pissed up each other.

Cause you just not all that expensive. anyway. I'm just like, man, I just don't really get people getting excited about juju this year. Like, that to me is like, I don't know, miss me with that. I'd rather, I'd rather focus my energy, like literally about 100 other players. I'm probably making this too complicated. He's a really, he's undeniably talented. Well, that's what I'm saying is, like, I think that there is some ability to deny how talented he is. Like, he just hasn't really shown it in three years. Yeah, I don't know. I may, I'm, maybe I'm just too horny too. Maybe I need this spray ball. But, like, to me, it's just such an easy opportunity,

and there's so much runway for him to make a splash. And the Ben Rothesberger mixed with his injuries, mixed with, like, the offensive play calling. I don't know. There's a lot of evidence that you could just write off his past two years. I guess. I guess, but, like, Claypool had 10 touchdowns with Rothersberger two years ago. Freakin Deontay Johnson has been good.

But that was jump balls. That was, firstly, four touchdowns in one game because the Bengals put him at Claypool in one-on-one coverage. He ran two of them. He had four touchdowns. He ran into him. So that's six of the ten. Yeah,

six of the ten right there. So I guess I hear everything you're saying. Sounds like a lot of excuses is what I'm saying. To boil this, well, no, to boil this down, I hear what you're saying.

He may be his worst. I'm kind of looking at a guy who had 2300 yards and then his old decrepit quarterback combined with injuries and now he's with Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs. And it basically if a month, if a month into the season, Juju like leads the NFL and receptions will be like, oh, it was Ben. Obviously.

that's all. Okay. But also maybe the horniness is making me. Just take some real leaps here. Any other horny players? We talked about the 49ers already, but I'm going to go right back to them really quickly here. Elijah Mitchell, I'm pretty worried about this situation. Right now, he is being drafted as the RB 23, 50th overall in PPR. 50th. As a rookie, he collected an injury to his shoulder, chest, hand, he had a concussion and a knee injury. He's now missing practices with the hamstring injury. Trey Serman was a third round pick last year. This year they drafted Ty Davis Price and third round also.

It doesn't really feel number one. Like I think it's unquestionable to me that he is like the best running back in this backfield and that's why he's getting drafted first. But the idea that he's going to get a ton of volume on the ground this year is very shaky, just based on his injury history and his propensity to get banged up and have soft tissue stuff and all that. And by the way, he's also not really. getting much work in the passing game.

Last year, he was targeted 20 times. He was the starter for most of the season. He was targeted 20 times. Jamichael Hasty had more targets than me. He got 29 targets. Kyle Eusechek got 38 targets. He's like very lightly used in the passing game. They basically needed him to run for a ton of yards

and score a lot of touchdowns for him to pay off, I think. This ADP. So he was practicing to do more passing game work before the hamstring injury. Yeah, but one thing about when I was looking up stats for Iyuk, and looking at like how running quarterbacks affect their teammates. Basically with rushing quarterbacks,

it's kind of a net negative for running backs. It improves their efficiency, but it lowers their overall workload. It lowers their passing game involvement and it lowers their touchdowns. Which it's important to note that all makes intuitive sense because if they don't know who's going to run, the running backs getting more yards per carry.

But obviously the quarterback's volition the goal line and instead of checking the ball down, the scrambles the checkdown. Correct. I'm sorry, continue. Keep going, Craig. That's all I got. Yeah, balk, people.

I'm balk in the 49ers run game. And also the hamstring thing is the most annoying injury you can suffer in the pre-time. It's a giant muscle. It's a giant muscle. Them already saying, like, he's, like, he injured his hamstring in the report was he's out till week one. That's already kind of a red flag. They're like, he's not playing another snap in the preseason, and we hope he's ready for

week one. To me, that screams like he's going to leave in the third. third quarter of week one with hammy tightness. But doesn't the horny and you ask, but that's because it's really important. So they're keeping them out because he's really important to them. The horny does ask that. The second brain does ask that. You ever heard that Robin Williams quote of like a man has both a brain and a penis,

but not enough blood to run both at the same time? I think those are the horny guys. I mean, while we're here, should we talk about Trey Lance while we're talking about the Niners? See, he's the only one that I think the horniness. It's justified. It's justified because he... His skill matters the least because even if he's not a talented thrower, if he runs the ball 10, 12 times a game,

I mean, I don't think any of us think Justin Hertz is like an incredible talent with his arm. Jalen. Jalen Hertz? You've been struggling with the names today, man. You've been struggling with the names today, man. But I say Justin Hertz, Laura Croft. You call Jalen Hurtson. Lara Croft.

Laura Herbert. Anyway, my point is that Lance doesn't have to be that good for him to be fantasy relevant. I think that's like the big key. So we're all in on Lance and no one else in the 49. So bonk on Cadars, Tony, bonk and Javante Williams, bonk on Brandon Ayuk, bonk on Juj, bonk on Elijah Mitchell. While we're here, should we talk about Justin Herbert? Talk about a guy that everyone's kind of horny for. Do we have to have the conversation?

About Justin Herbert being a bonk? I mean, I'm just saying, the horniness. How dare you, sir? The horniness. How dare you? I'm just asking questions here. We have to admit. Make your pitch.

is I'm just saying you can't just ask questions about Justin Herbert but you have to basically get him with like really like the 50th pick and I'm just saying unless Justin Herbert is an MVP candidate

with 40 plus touchdowns it does it make sense to take him I mean Josh Allen's the number one guy obviously because he's running but does it make sense to be taking Herbert over guys who can run like Kyler Murray or Lamar Jackson and taking like the spending a top 50 pick on Herbert

because he's so tantalizing and amazing. I'm just saying there's a lot of horniness going. It's a lot of second brain action going on with the Herbert projections. He was second in total points. And I know you hate that. He was also second in points per game last year. I just wanted to throw it out there

because we're all in love. I just wanted to ask the questions. I'm just asking questions here. No. Craig is upset. I am. We're both saying no. Because you don't even have an argument.

You just said like, what if he's bad? No. But you just, you literally, you know why? It's because you subconsciously called Jalen Hertz, and you like, Hurts? And I was like, wow, he's got Justin Herbert on the mind. Justin Herbert is an absolute star and is an awesome bet to win MVP this year. And is already one of the best. He was third in touchdowns last year as a sophomore.

I know, I agree. I'm just wondering if we're all losing control. Let's lose control. After all this. Let's go off the rails. I'll take the blue pill or the red pill, whichever one it was. forget. Let's take it. It's the powder blue.

The powder blue pill. The powder blue pill. Okay. Why do you see me? You're the little blue pill. Okay. Wanted your emails? Yeah. Let's do it. Okay. We got an email from Brian on gunpowder because last episode we were like, God, we butchered that. I lost sleep over that whole segment. We're talking about how. I'm supposed to know history.

By your own petard. What does that mean? We found out petards are bombs and we're like, wait, how were there bombs in the time of Shakespeare? Brian Lowell clarified that Shakespeare died 11 years. years after Guy Fawkes tried to blow up parliament. So yes. And then we got another explainer. Shout out to some, I swear to God, a guy emailed us who says his name was ghost, which, okay, cool.

Anyway, sent a cool YouTube video about, they're called Petardiers. It was about Patards. And basically, petards were like bombs in the medieval times. And the Petardiers were the explosive experts in medieval sieges. And their job was to blow up the impendentry. impenetrable parts of a castle. So, like, you know, in the Lord of the Rings, the two towers, when that guy, that crazy huge guy,

comes running in with the torch to light the thing. He kills himself, though. Is that what the Paterti A's were supposed to do? Yeah, he's a Paterti A. He just was pretty hardcore about it. But any, the Partieres are the guy, the 15th, the 16th century medieval guys who have to, like, light the torch and literally run away.

And they didn't even wear armor on their legs because they had to run so fast. So it's an OG Bomb Squad. Literally, no, it's the opposite. This is the hurt lockers. They're lighting bombs. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. So, Shakespeare invented the term

hoisted by your own petard to mean harming yourself during your plan to harm others because the pittardiers would so often blow themselves up by accident. So no one wanted to do. Wow, the etymology. Amazing.

Yeah. There was another fact in there that you put that the word pittard comes from the French for a fart. Really? Well, it's the middle French, I guess, like old French. It meant it was like to break wind.

So basically I think the word patar was like a fart joke. Oh, interesting. So they were lighting their farth on fire back then, too. Did you ever do that? I've never personally done it. I've seen it happen. Like jackass and stuff like that.

I've never actually done that. I was never in the Navy. If anyone's done that, let us know how it went. Yeah, emails at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. But like, don't do that, people listening. If any of you were hoisted by your own petard, lighting your own farts on fire. Let us know. Oh, my God.

Thank you in advance to everyone emails us. All right. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Billy Shakes. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you, the strokes.

Oh. Not to be confused or related in any way to just being horny in general. My mind didn't even go there, D.K., but you're sick-minded. Yeah, actually, it didn't. I mean, come on. Sounds such. I thought you're going to do like Marvin Gay or something. I think the lead singer of the Strokes has the coolest

lead singer name. It's like Mick Jagger's really up there. Julian Casablanca is like... Oh, wow. It's one of the cooler names. Never heard that. Shout out to my friend Josh, who sent me a list of bands he's listening to because he knew I'm struggling lately on the band names. It's been really just fumbling over them. So shout out Josh. Yeah, you really need to lock in. You've been... Lock it up. Yeah. Lock it up. You lock it up. Danny doesn't get it because we're quoting wedding crashes. He's never

fucking seen wedding crashes. I have seen wedding crashes. Watch that because you guys shamed me into it. We're debating wedding crashes for the next as told by movie. And Hyfitt's just, he doesn't know any of the quotes.

So we, we don't have to be Craig and I laughing the whole time. I do know the quotes. I've just only seen it twice. And I haven't seen enough to quote it from being honest. I kind of want to do this as the end.

Oh, it's a great one. Great one. I would love to do this as the end. That's like my favorite movie. I don't know if it's this quotable though. like it is it is as of course it's quotable as widely known like people everybody fucking knows like billy madison or whatever like no one yeah yeah i was first team all state i'll put the ball wherever you want it i'm making it right out here i'll put the ball wherever

i want to rat hot round yeah see it's got to be wedding crushers we'll see we'll send us emails at some point down the line we're doing wedding crashers there's no there's like emails that Fantasy Football Cheval.com if you want to put in what our next movie will be. I also think sneaky underrated comedy is Tropic Thunder. That movie's hilarious. Oh, yeah. A lot of great codes of that. We'll figure it out.

Lots of good options. All right. Goodbye, everyone.