The Ringer NFL Show - 50 Shades of RB Prospects

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

Today, (loosely) inspired by the ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ series, the guys break down the strengths and weaknesses of the biggest names in this year’s running back draft class before comparing them to NFL players using a scale from 0 to 50 (1:24). Finally, they close with America’s favorite segment: Two Jargons, One Lie (51:30). Bijan Robinson, Texas (2:15) Jahmyr Gibbs, Alabama (12:12) Zach Charbonnet, UCLA (18:12) Devon Achane, Texas A&M (24:13) Deuce Vaughn, Kansas State (30:31) Tyjae Spears, Tulane (36:58) Roschon Johnson, Texas (41:09) Kendre Miller, TCU (51:30) Check out our 2023 Ringer NFL Draft Guide here! Email us! [e-mail] Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Ben Solak, Craig Horlbeck Producers: Craig Horlbeck and Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's official. One Shining Podcast is back, and I am your host, Tate Frazier. And as March Badness begins, we're covering everything from Selection Sunday all the way to the championship and beyond. We're going to have great guests that are coming through on the show. And look, if you're a friend of the program and you're already subscribed, you don't have to do anything. OSP is back. It's going to be right back in your feed. And if you're not a friend of the program, and this is your first time on the rodeo, then let me tell you this. You need to go to Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcast. and smash subscribe today because the OSP show is back.

NFL Draft Show. My name is Danny, Hi Fitzs. I am joined by Danny, Kelly, Ben, Solich, and Craig. Boralbeck, we are coming to you every Tuesday and Thursday here on the ringer. andiffel draft show. As always, go to NFLdraft. Dottherringer.com. We've got our draft guy.

We've got Dukes mock drafts. We've got big boards. We got everything. NFL draft dot the ringer.com. And today we're looking at running backs and we're doing 50 shades of gray style. And if you don't know what that means, you're going to find out. We don't really either. So, no way.

It's like shades of gray and everything is the point. Yeah, DKKee, you want to roll out the red carpet, the gray carpet here? Obviously, there is a, there's gradient in terms of what a player could be in the NFL. They could be really elite player or they could be just an average player or they could be a crappy player. So we're trying to like capture all the different outcomes that could possibly happen with these running backs. So that's what 50 Shades of Gray is about. We also just stole the movie title because it's something popular and we like to do that. Well, it was a book first.

Sorry, the book title. I haven't read nor watched either. Have you guys seen them? I've seen them. I saw the first one. I thought like I got the gist. Yeah, you didn't need to watch the second and third. I don't know as much more here for me.

All right. So we're going to roll through and we're going to just go through all the running backs. Not all of them. Most of them. Some of them. The biggies. Yeah. Yeah, the biggies.

The 50 shades of gray of how, you know, they could play out. And we're going to start with the big honcho here. It's Bejohn Robinson. the running back out of Texas. It's Bejan, right? Not Bejohn. You've been saying Bejohn, that's wrong. It's Bejon, but he doesn't correct people.

I don't really care. I'm very good authority. I'm also going to say Bejon. Bejon. What movie is that from? Begone. I don't know. Anyway, he went to Texas.

Bejon Robinson, 511, 21515 pounds. I feel like he's the running back version of the Prince who was promised. He's the best running back prospect in the draft since like Sequin five years ago. He's big. He's fast. he's physical, can catch. He's nice enough where he doesn't correct people and you get his name wrong.

Broke the record for broken tackles in a single season since pro football focus started charting it. Where's number five? Like Reggie Bush. And because of Reggie Bush, which I like. Ben Solac, what are your 50 shades of gray for Bejan Robinson?

Bejohn is delightful, man. He's such a fun watch. He's such a talented player. I don't, like, I refuse to get to any sort of like, oh, but what have you took a running back? And if in the third round, you're like, I don't care. I like watching a play. I'm excited to watch him play in the NFL.

We're going to see who drafts him where they pick him. I would take him very early. Do that voice more. Which voice? What have you picked him in my nerd voice? Okay. So, starting at 10 and working my way up, 10, the bottom stage comparison, you remember those two 1,000-yard rushing seasons that Jordan Howard had for the Bears before he totally

died? That's our bottom tier, right? And that's the thing is, like, Robinson does have a little bit of an injury history. And so if you're trying to figure out how does this guy bust, he's such a good prospect, that's part of it, right? He has been banged up before. Next up, the 20 for me is Brees Hall, which sounds kind of crazy because Brees Hall was going to win like offensive rookie of the year, a year ago. But Brees was also this like good size, extremely well-rounded. It could be used on third down.

He obviously goes really early in the second round, not early in the first round, and just takes over for the Jets, right? Just was dominant in all three phases, could hit a home run, could break tackles, was a tough runner. Like, that's, I think what you're working with with Jean Robinson. I think you're going to get a Brise Hall-style player. And obviously we saw with the Jets when the offense was working. Like that, you get a thousand-year-old season out of that really easily. I'm going to skip my 30 for right now. Because my 30 is my exact comp, and I think it's a great comp, and I love it, and I want to end with it.

40 is Al-Big Camara. Alvin Camara, and then make it a little bigger. That actually works. That works for me. Yeah. I like that. And then my 50 comparison, which is Nick Chub with Pluckies, right? Nick Chub with hands. I chose those two athletes. I chose those two athletes because the thing about Camara and Chubb is that they are both ludicrously smooth.

And when you watch Robinson run, man, there are angles that this guy moves at and it's just delightful for a big body to be as awkward against the ground and to be dealing with incidental contact and be changing direction as a guard, changes his position in the hole. The cut opens up in the back and the day and to just never feel like he's stumbling, never feel like he has to. take a chop step and things to turn his hips and turn his weight. He just, he's like, he's like,

like ball bearings on a gyroscope. Man, I mean, he just, glottal ball bearings he stays. It's really, really impressive for a player who's over six plus and who's 215

the way that Robinson is to move like this. It is very reminiscent of Chub who was a little bit shorter, a little bit squatter, but it immediately reminded me of Chub and it reminds him of Camara too. We're just like,

Camarra gets to the open field, you just like that guy slalom skiing. Like that, that sensation is so real. And that's why for my 30 con, Matt Forte's name gets thrown on a ton every draft cycle. Because every back who's like a little bit big

and can catch, everybody's like, he can be Matt Forte. It's like, guys, do we forget that Matt Forte is like for seven seasons. He had at least 920 rushing yards in all of them. He had over 1,000 and five of the first seven. This guy was like a true bell cow runner. You'll put on some Matt Forte film,

the work in the second level, the elusiveness, the change of direction, the pinballing off guys. Like, he was a real runner. then yes, he was a 70 target player, which Robinson can be, given how well he caught them all out of Texas. To me, he is a little bit shorter, a little bit faster, but man, he reminds me a lot of Matt Forte. And that is a decade-long career of impact the game at all three levels. I think that's what he's going to be in league. I like all these. Bejohn Robinson and

Alvin Camara actually are almost exactly the same size. People kind of, I don't realize, I don't think realize how big Alvin Camara is. I really like the Nick Chub one, too. I've said for a long time, Nick Chubb, it looks like his feet grip the ground differently than everyone else. He just has weird, incredible explosiveness and balance combination that he just can like cut quicker than everyone else on the field. I was watching Bejohn Robinson the other day and the nerdyest thing imaginable came to mind, but I'm just going to say it anyway. Do you know how in the Fellowship of the Ring, Legolas is like walking around on top of

the snow? Like everyone else is trudging like waist deep through the snow and Legolas is just like on top of the snow. That's like Bajon. That's like Bijon on the field. He just like he just moves at a different speed. He's like not the same weight as everyone else. Like the laws of gravity don't apply to him quite as much as everyone else. Is that going to be a new thing? This is the draft podcast that references Lord of the Rings in every episode. Every episode, yeah. Or Star Wars. The only draft podcast that knows the names of the characters in Lord of the Rings. I don't think we are the only draft podcast that knows the name of Lord of the Rings. Here's the thing about that scene though, okay? It's the

wind starts howling and Dan Alft just looks up and goes, It's Sardomon. Like, what? You can't tell? How he just looks like, oh, that dark cloud, that's got to be Sauramon. Like, he kind of hears a voice in a wind. I always found that very... He's a wizard.

It's vibes. It's like, it's vibes, man. It's his job. Me, when I go outside, it's a thunderstorm. Oh, it's Dumbledore. Like, what are we talking about? Dumbled door. I have a question.

When is the last time a running back prospect was this exciting? Seek Juan. Yeah. And he's better than Seek Juan. Damn. Fighting words. I like it. As a prospect, he's better than he.

I like him more than I like Seguan. Seguan was a bananas athlete, right? Seaguan would hit turbo and you'd be just like astounded. But Seaguan was like screwing around behind the Penn State line. Like Seaguan had a lot of reps. You were like, dude, just go get three yards. Like, be a running back. Like, enough.

He was constantly swinging for home runs. He was Barry Bonds. Bejohn is by plug and shot. It was because Barry Bonds took a lot of walks. Seacuan was like, had a Joey Gallo where was home runs of strokeouts. I know four baseball players. I did my best. Adam done.

The, like, Eagles fans talk a lot about Bijan, like, maybe they'll take him at 10. There's no chance they do. But, like, if you put, if you put rookie Saquan Barkley behind, like, this Eagles line, I don't think he'd, like, lead the league in rushing because I think he would, like, make mistakes. He had to learn how his eyes, whatever. You put Bejohn on this Eagles team tomorrow. He's rushing for 1,700 yards. He is ready to go right now.

He's unbelievable. I feel like the running back devaluation has gone so far that it's actually screwing up. I feel like where Bijon Robinson goes is like maybe the key to the first round of the draft because in some ways people are falling outside the top 20. But if we're saying that he's a better prospect as good, if not better than Sequin, Sequin went second. I know the NFL's changed since then, but have the people running the teams actually changed that much? Like, I'm kind of, I don't know.

It's, D.K., like, when we look at the- The league anymore, is he? No, well, Gettlement, no, he's not. Didn't Gettleman take both Sequin and CMC? Or am I miss? Yes. Am I misremembering? He did.

I'm just wondering. The Cowboys are still in the league. If he's that good, though, let's say, I think personally, the Seahawks at 20, there's no chance he falls past them. The Patriots of 15. Watch of the Patriots. If Bejohn Robinson's on the board at 14, or 14, why should the Patriots not take him?

I would be slack-jawed flabbergasted if Bejohn Robinson's still on the board at 14 for the Patriots. The Falcons at 8, Desmond Ritter. All right, here's the way about this draft class. Falcons at 8, to me, is the Bijon spot right now. I just, oh my God. I look at the size of that team. So big fellas and tight ends.

Big fellas, Ladder Sears and big old running backs. But Cordial Patterson with injuries and then Tyler L.Juer, who's like a late round pick, like I don't think they're set at that position. And Arthur Smith ran this offensive to Derek Henry. Arthur Smith, when Arthur Smith was successful, the way he got this job was by a run-first approach was in a leadback. I think Falcons at 8 are absolutely 100% in Bejan Robinson team. I think Lions at 6 are a team that are going to still talk about Bichon Robinson.

Even with Dave Montgomery and D'Andre Swift there. This is not a good class. There are bad players in the class. They're not a lot of really talented ones. Bejohn is one of the three best players. He's going to go early. D.K. conveniently has him going to the Seahawks at 20.

What a shock. Interesting. This is one of those situations where I both dread it and also am secretly very much hoping it happens because it will destroy Seahawks. You guys took Rashad Petty like 21st. Yeah, it was a fucking terrible decision. Well. I mean, he was fun the last.

like year or whatever, two years. But yeah, like, I think it would be so fun if he was on the Seahawks, but it's also... What about Ken Walker? Ken Walker's really good. Yeah, I know. Love me, but I want two of those guys.

Wow, all right. You want to know the real true, total DefCon 5 nerds losing their mind for a year scenario? Tennessee Titans at 11. Try to trade Derek Henry this year. Couldn't get to move. these contracts expiring.

They're just getting ready for the future, man. Just Aaron Rogers to Jordan Love? Derek Henry DeVijon Robinson, man. Wow. What about the Bears? I think the Bears, did the Bears take them? Oh, I could see. Who the Bears have it running back?

De Yante Foreman? Kalil Herbert. So, yeah, they got, it's Kalil and Dante Foreman, yeah. I think that Poles is two analytics built to do running back at nine, but I would love it. Justin Robinson to the same backfield.

I don't care. Put me a wide receiver. We're cooking. Get the nerds. out of my football, he says. Get the nerves out of my football. There should probably get a tackle that wasn't drafted in the fifth round before they get a running back.

All right. D.K., next up. Yeah. Jamir Gibbs. The other best running back in the first round. We got Jamir Gibbs out of Alabama, 5-9, 199 pounds. So is he soft?

Couldn't get to 200. Who knows? Gibbs spent two years at Georgia Tech, and then he transferred to Alabama for one season. He wore number one at both places, which I like. We ran a 4-36-40-yard dash, which is 99th percent out 40-yard dash among running backs.

He's a good runner. It's a really good receiver. He only dropped two passes in three years. Two drops in three years. DK, give us your 50 shades of gray for Jemir Gibbs. Okay, so let's start with the bottom, like worst, absolute worst-case scenario. This guy just is not nearly as good as everyone thinks he is. And I'll go with number 10.

Darrow and Thompson. Number 20. Ben, close your ears. Kenneth Gainwell. Kenny G. Like a solid player, but not going to change much. 30. Rahim least hurt. Get it? Not most hurt, least hurt.

Nice. I'm so annoyed that that was good. And then number 40, which is basically how I view him. Aaron Jones with nitrous oxide boosters. He has insane acceleration. But stylistically, kind of similar player as Aaron Jones. Excels in space, can break tackles,

really good acceleration, excellent in the passing game. And then by number 50 for him, the elite potential he brings is someone like Jamal Charles I think like Jamal Charles

to me is like a yeah you know one of the most one of the best running backs ever really and he has that same skill set

I think and he's like he's best known for his receiving chops obviously he's like one of the best receiving running backs

in this draft class the best receiving running back in this draft class probably but I also think he's pretty effective on the ground the problem is

he doesn't really run through the tackles he's always on the outside he's basically never just going straight up field. He runs these stretch plays, wide zones, things like that. So there's a little bit of an unknown there

in terms of his ability to just go north-south, but he has incredible acceleration. He's really good in the past game. He's an explosive play waiting to happen. I really like him. I'd like to note for the record that two of your comps, so Jamal Charles among running backs, number one all-time in yards per carry, 5.4.

Aaron Jones, no one knows this. Third, all-time among running backs, yards per carry. 5.1. Who's second? Rashad Penny is about to overtake everyone, by the way. Do you want to guess who running back is? Second all-time yards per attempt?

I have no shot of getting it. You do because he's already been mentioned on this podcast. Nick Chubb? Yes. Bang! What's up? So I love the Jamal Charles thing because I think Jamal Charles for the zoomers of Ben Slok's generation who can't remember 2011. I feel like Jamal Charles.

like he had that cult game where he toured his ACL. But before that, Jamal Charles was, I don't want to be hyperbolic, but one of the best athletes of the first of like the 2000s. Like just athlete. And I'm curious, like I feel like the thing that him and Aaron Jones have in common is like balance and change of direction.

So do you think that, I mean, like if it was fantasy and Jamir Gibbs went to like the Broncos, are we talking, well, I guess they have Javanti wins, but are we talking like a guy who could be like a top, like a first rounder as a rookie. Is that how good he is? I think, I don't know. it's very difficult because he's going to there is some question mark in terms of the fantasy world

and he has to land in a situation where they're going to pass the running back a lot to I think extract the most value if they're if they're if he lands with a mobile quarterback I don't think he's just going to have as much value inherently as some of these other guys might just because you know mobile quarterbacks typically don't drop it off they don't you know pass the running backs as much his main value I think his biggest value in fantasy is going to be pass catching so it's it's a tough question to answer I think he has the upside to be that type of player. But landing spot's going to be important.

Is he a three down guy? That's how I categorize my running backs. Is he a three down downs? Yeah. I think, like, in theory he is, but like the Packers clearly see, like, want to do a rotation, right? Like, is the team going to pair him up

with like a bruiser and then he plays on third downs? And then two-minute drills? I think there'll probably be the type of thing where they rotate series. He can play on the early downs. He just, I don't know if he can run up, like,

up the gut as much as some guys. I would say, I really think Drew Gibbs is a three-down player. I think Gibbs is a good enough runner to be a, to be a guy who's a workforce guy who gets 15 plus carries and another three,

four touches catching the ball. To me, to me, like Aaron Jones is a good descriptor for him, right? I've heard Kamara for him because the balance thing

that Hypat's brought up and I like that aspect of it too. He had, he's got a very Kamara aesthetic, honestly. It's like the comparison makes sense. The Jamal Charles thing, like I've seen Charles for him,

I think that's, I don't know, that's like a 55, you know what I'm saying? That's, that's a, that's a good 57 shade to go right there. I wanted to go, like, shoot for the, you know. Yeah, but he, he, he. Jamal Charles was a third rounder for the record. Yeah. I mean, I just, I don't know.

Jamal's another one of those plays like Matt Forte where like every year I feel like we get like, he could be Jamal Charles. And it's like nobody can ever be Jamal Charles, man. Right. But Gibbs is extraordinarily talented. So we're talking about a first rounder here, Jamir Gibbs? Like, Bejan Robinson was saying could go in the top 10. But running back.

and supposed to also get taken this high. Nasha Harris got taken in the first round like two years ago. 18, no offense, Greg. Probably shouldn't have. Is Jemir Gibbs going to make it out of the first round or no? I think he's one of the top 32 players. I think he's probably more likely going to be an early second rounder. Yeah, I would take Gibbs late 20s to early 30s and be very happy.

I think he ends up a guy who gets bigger on 40. Where Brees Hall went last year, right? Breece Hall was 38. Jonathan Taylor was 41, like that sort of range. Kenny Walker, I think, was the early second rounder. 44 for Canada longer. Jamon Charles, two years younger than Adrian Peterson.

That's crazy. Charles is only 36 right now. Adrian Peterson, man. Just hanging around for so long. That's unbelievable. Next up here, we got Zach Charbonnet at a UCLA.

Charbonnet. Charbonnet. You got to throw on it. You got to throw on Charbonnet. Yeah. I hope you only use Chardonnay descriptions to describe this player.

Buttery. As somebody who's never drank before, it's going to go great. It's Bubbly. He's just a fizzy little runner. Got some pop to him. Charbonates from California, went to UCLA, went to Michigan, transferred to UCLA. Where's 24? Which considering you spent like his whole life of California, it assumes for Kobe.

He's 6-1, 2-20 pounds. Full-bodied. Full-bodied. Hintz of, is that hickory? Buttery? I don't know. A bit of an oaky afterbirth. Shout of Michael Scott.

After birth. I want to be very clear, I was quoting something there. I was going to make sure you know that's a quote. I can't just drop that one with no context. That one needs to be clear. That is from the office. That's where that comes from. I wish we had done 50 shades of champagne for Zach Charbonnet.

But yeah, So like hit us with the shades of afterbirth. Yes, Zach Charbonnet. I like Charbonnet quite a bit. I'm going to start in the middle this time. Charbonnet reminds me so much of Tyler Algier out of BYU, who's now on the Falcons. If you just took all the sliders and like cranked him to 11. It's like, like, Alger times 1.3.

And to me, it's one for one. He's a better, more rounded version. He's a little bit more explosive. He's a little bit more physical, a little bit better balance. To me, it just makes a ton of sense in that regard. The rest of my 50 shades, starting at 10, I have Trey Sermon, what he actually was. Yeah, yeah. Because at 30, I have what people thought Trey Sermon was, which, talk about NFL draft type,

I can never get my head around. The Trey Sermon Discourse has he spinning. He had one really good game, though. Yeah. At 27, I have, like, like, Don DeForman. at 33, I have like Brian Robinson, right? So like this mold of like stocky dude, good between the tackles, can break the first end and break the second as well,

has enough like Brian Robinson, especially when you see how well the feet work, like Charbonnet, when he's on pace, when he's behind the line and blocking his clean, he's got really nice feet. He can get a little bit messy when he like is indecisive. Some people like, think, oh, he's really patient. No, I think just sometimes he's confused. But like Brian Robinson, to me, like the footwork aspect of it was very, very familiar. And then from my top end comps, all right?

The 50 is Ezekiel Elliott, right? Like if he just ends up being just an absolute hammer between the tackle, so good and short yardage, he runs behind his pads so, so, so well, which like Zique is the prototypical guy for that, then sure, maybe he becomes like 2019 era Zique. The 40 is like 2021 era Zee. It's like, okay. He's still really good.

We still like to give him the ball. He's great short yardage. Awesome and pass protection. The efficiency's going down a little bit. And he's not necessarily hitting home runs. Right. Quite as much braced. Yeah. You could really just do 50 shades of Zach Sharbonnet on 50 shades of Azique Elliot.

It's just like prime Zee. Year one. Year two. Near prime Zique. 20 is like Zique now. You know, it's just, it's just he's such a wonderful. He's got great balance. He's really, really nice when he sticks and from the ground and go.

When he's got decisiveness, he's an excellent runner. he like again like talking about zique stuff when he builds up speed like acceleration's not crazy when he builds up speed he's running he's moving like when he's a prime z was when he got to the open field like he'd outrun safeties he wasn't muslin him he would legit burn him

and and sharmony's got that too it's just the agility aspect of things and the movement skills so I think right you're looking at a Brian Robinson like done to form and cell with health problems Tyler Alger it's a guy where you feel good about him being a back on your roster if he has to start and be a lion you know that he can take 20 carries for a couple of games

games. But yeah, you're probably looking for more athletic juice either somewhere on the depth chart or with an improved higher pick later down the road. Does he catch passes? He does. Very good question. So, Charbonnet, like, I wouldn't call him a supernatural pass catcher, but he got a lot of reps in UCLA's offense. And he's honestly developed a pretty good past catching profile. He has a nice, like sense. You know what I'm saying? He's got a really good job of like making the first guy miss as he's catching the past. He doesn't look like he doesn't know what he's doing out there he's got no blockers.

He understands how to move. So he actually like, yeah, I forgot to bring that up. But he has a little bit more passcatching to him than you expect for a back as a legit 220-pounder. He doesn't fight the ball. At NFL draft. Dotterner.com. Dika, you're scouting report.

You got Charbonnet. Charbonette. I keep doing that in my head. Charbonnet. Charbonnet. I keep doing it. Charbonnet, you have, is a muscle car as a runner. And you actually compared him to Marco Murray.

Yeah. I saw him as like a pretty explosive, but upright. He's not going to make guys miss with lateral juice kind of guy, like where, you know, he's like, dudes are like flailing and diving at him in a cloud of dust or whatever. But he can hit the ground, he can hit the gas pedal and go straight really fast, I thought. Good explosiveness in the short area.

And so, yeah, I like that. He's got the lower body burst, big physical tough guy. I always make sure I don't look at DK's comps for these guys before we do these. DeMarco Murray for Charbonnet is interesting because, I always think of Murray as built so much in the upper half, right? Murray had the big chest, big shoulders. The thing about Charmody that I love is he's built nicely in the trunk.

It's built nicely in the lower half. Like where you carry that mass is always really important, right? You see this a lot where people will be like, you know, oh, this guy's like six foot 210 pounds. And this guy's six foot 210 pounds. So like comp them together. It's like, no, with running backs, where they carry their mass is so, so, so important. So I didn't think about Murray because in my head Murray is like really big upright. But then again, like the Murray I remember is the way.

one year of him on the Philadelphia Eagles, which was not the best season of DeMarco. So I have a bit of a skewed remembrance of him. Cowboys of DeMarco Murray. Yeah, I keep looking at like Charbonnet, 61220, and I keep thinking about all the receivers who are 6117.8. I'm like, oh my God, these guys, it's crazy.

Don't worry. If you want to get to small backs, we got a few coming up. Next up here, we got Devin, a chain? Devon A chain. Chardon A chain. You said Devin, a chain, and it's Devon A chain. You miss both. And fastest on the rung Salabble

Yeah, there is. Running back out of Texas A&M 59-188. Where's number six? I kind of like that. He's the fastest kid alive. This is the super bad. He's the fastest kid alive.

4-3-240R dash. 99th percentile among running backs. A literal track star. You guys have talked about how he, I mean, basically, is basically like a sub-Olympic level track sprinter. Played by him the worst offensive line in college football, though.

So I feel like there's a lot of weird stuff going on. Texas A&M. had the worst offensive line in all of college football? No, but it was bad. It's not a good one. Is it a bad offensive line? They recruited a lot of really good players

and then they were horrible. Tough look. I guess Power 5th. I think that's kind of fair to say. Okay. I was just like, among the worst in Power 5. Okay, obviously.

I was like, wow. Danny Heifitz's personal rankings. Like 130th in the country? Wow. They're pretty bad. D.K. rank every offensive line in college football and then please give us your 50 shades of gray.

name an offensive line worse than A&M, I dare you. Oh, so you like offensive lines, huh? Name five. Do you know anyone here? Can we talk about Devon A-Chane now? Because he's awesome. He's like legitimately one of my favorite players. I'm building in some...

I'm basically sealing myself against the idea that he's just not going to do anything in the NFL. Like, I'm aware that 188-pound guys, generally speaking, aren't thriving in the NFL. NFL at Running Back. I'm aware of this. I'm trying to like remind myself of this. That being said, I fucking love Devon H.A. Like, he is my favorite player in this entire class. He's just so fun to watch.

He's so fucking explosive, so sudden with everything he does. I just want to believe that he's going to do something in the NFL. He's going to be a really good player. And hopefully he lands in the right system where they, you know, know how to utilize his skill set because he's just extremely explosive. He's good in the passing game. All that stuff. here's my, here's my 50 shades.

Let's start with the crappy version. And this isn't even crappy. This is just like, I think when I picture what he could be on like the low end, like Chris Thompson from Washington, you remember that guy from a few years ago? Oh, yeah. Just a scat back. Like good pass catcher. He was, you know, he did some stuff in fantasy football for like six weeks, but that was about it.

Like he just, you know, he just too small. I got hurt a couple times, I believe. So that's like the low end comp. Matt Breedda as the 20? Like, please God, get him into a Shanahan offense and let him cook. But obviously, undersized. I think Breed is like 190, something like that. My 30 comp, rookie year and rookie year only, Steve Slayton.

Always going to get a Steve Slayton cop in there. And you're like, but just that one year with the offense with the Shanahan, it was great. So he rushed for 1,200 yards. Sorry. He rushed for 1,200 yards plus like 300-something receiving yards. He was absolutely awesome. And then it went all downhill from there. But, you know, that's what you can picture with a guy.

like this. I think they're around the same size. He might be a little bit bigger than A-Chain. My 40-comp is Javid Best. Obviously, Javid Best his career ended because he had multiple concussions. But when he was playing, he was so electric, so explosive. They were utilizing him in the ground game and the passing game. Like, Hifitz, I think I was telling you offline about Javid Best. And you were like, you told me, I thought that guy was going to be the best running back ever kind of deal.

Like, that's how exciting he was, you know, as a rookie. It was just like everything. It was just that I can't think of. of an aesthetic and a style of a running back that would better match the name Java Best that what Java Best had. And if Java Best was a player that was coming up in Madden or a recruit

in NCAA football, you would be like, well, I have to recruit Java Best. And then it was like an Easter egg from the game that like, yeah, this is the greatest running back you've ever seen. And then my 50, like the ideal, the tip top ceiling play here is if anyone from Gen Z knew who Warwick done was. Warwick Dunn rushed for a thousand yards five times they're essentially the same size

similar play styles like extremely explosive like surprisingly can run through the tackles that kind of stuff he I believe he played like 12 years in the NFL just yeah you know awesome player but no one really remembers him at this time because he was I believe drafted in like 1997 I remember Warwick Dunn

he was drafted before Solek was born No, I was born in March of 97. He was drafted in April of 97. My God, you do remember. I remember like, you know, 2006 War I done when I didn't necessarily the same thing that he was. But yeah, no, those are good comms because a lot of the like modern speed comms, like, oh, this guy is small and fast. It's like, oh, CJ2K. It's like, no, like, there's a lot of guys who have speed who like, you know, you don't necessarily get super.

long careers out of them and super stable careers out of them. And that's the concern with A Shane is going to be the health and the availability. And can you use them as a returner? Because he's very good as a returner, but you take a lot of big hits as a returner. But we don't live in that world just now.

We live in the, he's about to be in the NFL draft. He's perfect. He's never going to be her ever world. And that's a very exciting world for a player of this talent, this caliber. These little guys are always like,

to me, it feels like you're just, you're just closing your eyes and throwing shit at the wall and seeing the sticks. It's the siren song of explosiveness. Right. Like I said at the beginning, like I'm acknowledging that it's probably not going to work out. However, I fucking love this guy.

It's the mystery box thing. He's fast. It could be anything. Remember the Chip Kelly Oregon running backs? That's what I always go back to when I think of these little fast guys. I think of like Kenyon Barners and Michael James. You know what I mean? And I was like so excited about them and then they just disappear.

So I'm always so wary of these little guys. We need a word for when a college running back is like legit a legend, like Le Michael James. And then actually irrelevant in the NFL. Yeah, we've got one. called bust. No, but like, it's not fair. No, it's not like he's a first rounder. Yeah. I'm saying like it's funny, like,

literally like the Kansas State point guard in March Madness, where it's like, wow, I'll remember that forever. He will never play in the NBA. Probably not. Honestly, like, actually, wait, let's skip to, speaking to Kansas State, I want to skip. We have Deuce Vaughn, who is the running back into Kansas.

He's five foot six, 176 pounds. I'm out. I think it's funny. Got five, 175 at the carmine, I think. Five, five. Let me double check. Five, five. Let me double check.

Are you kidding? That's what I had written down. He's 5-5-5. Yeah, it's what he mentioned at the combine. Five-five. Five. Is that the shortest NFL running back ever? It's the shortest player at the combine ever.

Wow. He's tiny. He might just been the shortest person at the combine, period. Anyway, Kansas State, I love that their brand is just insanely small people who are fun to watch. And I don't know if they can play professional sports. Roger Sherman, our colleague said that Kansas State's brand is just small people who have that dog in them. So I'm curious, D.K., what are your 50 shades of gray for Duce Vaughn? Deuce Vaughn. One of the more fun players to watch in college football. Just put that out there.

His 10, I'll start with the low end, go the high end. Number 10, J.J. Taylor, he's a running back that played at Arizona. He's on the Patriots now. He's like 5'6. He's like the closest actual physical comparison to this guy, imaginable. And he's like the fifth string running back for the Patriots. So, you know, kind of, you know, irrelevant. if you will. Love me some JJ Taylor coming out of Arizona. The 20 comp

is, this probably doesn't make any sense because this is more of like a 30, but like Tariq Cohen. So I'll say 29 and 30 are Tariq Cohen. He's not quite as explosive as Tariq Cohen, but I think he's a better pure runner than Tariq Cohen. 30 is like if Spud Webb played football.

Do you guys remember Spudweb? Yeah. Too old for you, maybe? I've heard of Spudweb. Spudweb is like 5, 6, and he won the dunk contest. He's fucking. he was fucking rad.

It's not Mugsy Bokes? Also, Mugsy Bokes, because he was 5'3. Yeah, he was even short. And played in the NBA. Bugsy Bokes was 53? 5.3, I believe. Can you double check me on that? Yeah, let me check.

But he was, like, Mugsy Bokes was like thick, though. Yeah, 53. He was like 5,300. There's hope out there for Noel at Kansas State. What was Mugsy Bokes weight listed? 437 pounds. Oh, he was. shit. That's crazy. No way.

That's bananas. But anyway, like if Spudweb played football, that makes no sense, but I just remembered Spudweb. Number 40, like if Maurice Jones Drew had a tapeworm. Because Maurice Jones Drew is literally 30 pounds heavier

than Deuce Fawn. Breast drew after a season of Survivor. Yeah, exactly. I think that's the best one you've ever have. Maurice Jones drew if he was like those office of tackles after they retire. Exactly.

He just stop lifting. And this one, actually, I'm repurposing this. And I got to give credit to Scott Barrett because he was the one that helped me think of this. But a couple years ago, we comped Rondale Moore to this. But I think it works even better for Deuce Fond. It's like if Secretariat was a Shetland pony. That missed me. I don't know.

I don't know what's a secretary. It's like the greatest resource ever. Shetland ponies are like two feet tall. See, I knew secretary. I didn't know what a Shetland pony looked like. Google Shetland pony. No Darren Sproles?

No easy pitch over the plate. Okay, let's let's, I mean, Sproles is just like more explosive, though, I feel like. I don't know. It is another comp that you could definitely work with. Sprouls is like a 5-7 running back from Kansas State. And Ducevons a 5-5 running back from Kansas State.

Everybody's made a con. Smaller Darren Sproles. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Darren Sproles is if you took a little off the top. Craig just shared a shitlet pony. I'm telling you

that's a goat man you can't convince me that's a horse that is disrespectful to compare anyone to that thing that's a goat oh my god what's the purpose of this creature it's a

it's everything else feel better about itself I don't know it doesn't produce milk it doesn't produce that you can't ride this John what we're doing you can ride it maybe it's for the little child

to ride yeah yeah don't You ever see Sherlock Holmes 2 where he didn't want to get on the big horse? So he wrote the Shetland Pony looking thing. What? I haven't seen that movie in a while. It's a whole movie thing.

My first date was to Sherlock Holmes, which Robert Downey Jr. Those movies are good. I don't know why they never made a third. First day ever? Yeah. I really love those movies. 2009. Out of boy, Yarn High Fitz.

Damn, 14 years ago? Good for you, King. You 14 years old? How did it go? Oh, did your mom or your dad drop you off at the date? Well, he can't drive. He's 14. Exactly.

No, definitely my mom dropped you off. That's my point. I was about the size of that Shetland pony. Okay. So, Deuce Fawn. I really wish Craig could do what a shit when pony was before that. I'll never forget. I don't know like Bryce Young.

I feel like a fucking idiot, but yeah. How much we've talked about Bryce Young, like being able to stand up to like the the withers of an NFL season and Deuce Fawn is literally five foot five. Like, how does he get tackled by people? The name Deuce Vaughn sounds like he's like 6-2-230. Yeah? Deuce is a big guy name? It's like what a henchman's name, Tiny.

Right. The crazy thing about Deuce Vaughan is he has like 300-something carries in college. Like he, hold on, let me pull this up. But literally like how. Sorry, how does he hurt. 650-6151 carries in college. He's dense. You can't hurt him.

He doesn't have enough like linched to bend in any direction. direction. He's just like a ball. How do you hurt? He to me of a ball. Of all the outliers in this class, like to me, he's the he feels like the one who has the best chance of like being the elite outlier, like the guy who actually

overcomes his lack of size. Like, he is just so awesome to watch. Like, if you go watch his tape, he, it just, nothing really makes sense. I know that Bryce Young is probably going to actually have a better chance of succeeding in the NFL, but Deuce Vaughn is awesome. 651 carries.

That's insane. That's actually crazy. I hope all of the small, short, Kansas State people make it to the pros. Next up here, we got Taji Spears. Yes. What a good player. Just Taijay Spears is teach tape how you play running back. Just in terms of how he pushes the line, how he gets to his blocks, how he breaks up and pass protection, how he breaks tackles.

He's just fundamentally very sound player. Now, I love Taijay Spears. Now. He is at the Combine. He was 5'9 and 5 eighths, 201 pounds. that's good work. Congratulations. I don't think he's necessarily carrying and playing over 200 when he actually plays.

And the history of sub 200-pound running backs, like we were talking about earlier, Craig, you're bringing up all these small guys you don't trust. It's not good, right? When you go and you look for backs sub-200 who have had a thousand-yard rushing seasons since 2000, there's only 10. Philip Lindsay is one of them. Ahmad Bradshaw, Justin Forset, Steve Slayton. Charlie Gardner who, okay, right?

It's just like, it's, you don't typically see these guys have high productive seasons, and when you do it simply be one or two, right? The only guys with more than two thousand years seasons are worked on Ray Rice, which Ray Rice has listed some 200, whatever. He's like a fire hydrant size, though. Yeah, Jamal Charles and Chris Johnson, right? You're working with a really small group. So he comes in over 200, but he is a smaller guy.

And then he has bad injury history. He's had multiple torn ACLs. So there's a lot of red flags of tides. Wow, multiple torn ACLs? I think it was two in the same knee. Two in the same knee in high school and then again in college. And so I don't think Spears is going to go very highly. There's going to be a lot of backs less talented than Spears,

a little bit bigger than Spears, a little bit better, you know, traditional size who go before him. But I think he's going to look better than a lot of them for the years that he plays. It's a question of how many years. So when you go for Comps for Tai J Spears, at 10, Derrington Evans. Anybody remember Derrington Evans?

I do. Yeah. Oh, yeah? I got that one. I got that. Yeah. Yeah. At 20, I have don't draft small running backs with injury histories. And then at 30, I have Devin Singletary slash Miles Gaskin slash Amir Abdullah

slash Jets Michael Carter slash Justice Hill slash Kyrn Williams slash every small running back that draft Twitter has fallen in love with because we've done this before. Just a fantasy waiver wire for the last five years. Yes. Seriously. Seriously. At 40, I have the four-year $20 million contract that Titans gave Dionne Lewis that one time. Oh, that's a good one. I like that. that one. Yeah, Dionne Lewis to me is kind of a good player. Yeah, Dionne Lewis is the combo I think it actually works for how Tajje plays.

The 50 is Lashon McCoy. And the reason why Lashon's the 50 is because stylistically, what Spears does when he gets to the second level is very shady. It's very shady-esque. He has that ability to stick out a dead leg and to cut and then come back. And when he starts manipulating guys,

like not behind the line of scrimmage or everything's tight and close, but when you get a little bit more space and corners and safety linebackers are running at you at full velocity and they can't stop very quickly. I mean, you watch some of that USC film where he's just sending guys past it, all of the Cincinnati game this year. That was the game that really made me fall in with Taijay Spears, where he's getting to that second level and they're pretty small back there.

And he's just guys are flying past. And he looks like the Matrix dodging bullets. Like he just knows where the space is. It's very LaShaul-McCoy and Dionne Lewis similarly. It's very reminiscent of those guys. And so the bottom 10, 20, 30 comes, I use this kind of like a cautionary tail. Usually when we see these undersized backs, like, you know, we all love them, but then the league doesn't.

love them and they don't stick. When they do, they're really fun and they're really cool to watch. Yeah. You know who I Compton to the other day and people were very upset with me is Travis Homer, who, by the way, was fucking fun to watch when he played at Miami. Like, he was breaking tackles. He was physical. He was jukeing guys out of their freaking jockstraps. Not assless chaps, Greg, jockstraps. And I don't know, he was like a really fun player to watch. And then if you comp their actual size and athleticism numbers, it's almost identical. I don't think stylistically they're that similar because Spears is a little more, like you said, like shady-esque, where he's, like, jukeing guys.

Travis Homer is my Rochon Johnson comp. Ooh, there we go. Yeah. Big fellow, special teams. Well, Homer was 205, though. Homer was actually a little bit small. How big is Homer now? I don't know.

Good question. Big. Guys got some biceps. All right. You mentioned Roshon Johnson. So, Rochon Johnson is the other running back out of Texas. He's just, you know, Bejohn Robinson's body man, basically. So, Rochon is a big guy.

The official combine stuff, Roshone Johnson's six foot, 219 pounds. So, Bill like a rock. Yeah, he is. So Roshan didn't get to play much behind Bishon Robinson,

but also he's a really good prospect. I met Roshan Johnson at the senior ball, and I can personally report. Amazing handshake. Just strong handshap. Just firm, strong, overwhelming handshake. Have you ever met an NFL player who had a bad handshake?

I'm saying it's the best handshake. handshake I've gotten from an NFL player. No, but I'm confident that like Aaron Rogers' handsake sucks. That was the thing. We're going to get down. All right. He probably expects you to like get down on a knee and kiss his hand or something. Hey, I'm better with the ringer.

He's like, ah. All right. D.K. Give us the 50 shades of grade for Rochon Johnson. So Rochon, I think you laid it out there well. He actually was recruited as a quarterback and then they needed him to play running back his first year. So he came in and rushed for a bunch of yards.

And then they recruited. Bijat and he didn't get to do as much running after that. But he is a good player. He's kind of one of those guys where he can do a little bit of everything really well. So he can pass protect. He can catch the passes. He's big and physical. He's not like the best runner ever,

but he can get positive yards kind of deal. He's a type of guy who's going to probably be drafted in the third or fourth round and come in and have a pretty long career, but maybe not put up elite numbers. So that being said, here's my five. Number 10, a guy like Patrick Taylor, who's just stuck on the depth chart, not really ever going to do anything.

It was pretty productive in college, but... Love the PT at Memphis. Yeah. Number 20, Buck Allen. You remember him? Javorious Buck Allen. Javorious. Right.

He had a little run there in Baltimore. Yeah. Fantasy people kind of like this guy. Every time he touched the ball, I was like, oh, he's pretty good, but, you know, never really put together high-end numbers. Number 30, similar deal. James Starks.

You guys remember James Starks from the Packers? He was in Green Bay for a bit, and then he went to Raiders. Like, every person from Green Bay has ever done. Right, exactly. And then 40, I had Brian Robinson, Jr., who, again, like, I don't know if he's actually as good as Brian Robinson, but he is the type of player where he's big physical, you know, Master of Dunn, Jack of Alltrade's Master of Dunn type player. And then 50, like, this is to me what he could, his ceiling would be something like a Chris Carson without fumbleitis. Big physical guy in the right situation can come in and be a lead back for, you know, a team.

He's a better pass catcher, I think, than people give him credit for. Chris Carson's a good comp. That's a good comp. Yeah. So he, to me, is a interesting sleeper here. There's a very strong chance he never does anything career. But, like, if he lands in the right situation and gets an opportunity, he could be, you know, he could put up bigger numbers than people think.

I like that Carson cop a lot. Because Carson also, he was splitting time at Oklahoma State for a little bit, right? It's actually kind of eerie. Like, if you look at their, first of all, their physical measurements are almost exactly the same, like, right down to, like, their 10-yard split and all that stuff. terms of athleticism and size. But they both in their last season of college had almost identical numbers too

because they were both backups slash splitting time. I want to say Carson was backing up Justice Hill. Yeah. So, but like, yeah, the Seahawks saw something in Carson and he was drafted in the seventh round and he came in and just was like really physical and tough and like basically was the identity that the Seahawks wanted from the run game.

And I could see Rochon Johnson be a similar guy like that. I love Chris Carson. I love that he came in and just took Rashad Penny's job. I love that he ran like a seventh round. I love that. Oh, Rashad Penny was very injured. Rashad Penny is a thousand-yard rusher for the Philadelphia Eagles. Don't worry about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait to draft Rashad Penny and be super disappointed when he gets hurt in week four, but I'm going to. Best and best ball, baby. Best and best ball. Don't worry about it. Craig, you got your San Diego State stuff for a lifetime this month. I do. Okay. Last up here.

Ken Dre Miller, running back at a TCU, producer Kai, went to Tate. TCU. Oh, yeah. So, Kai can also speak to rooting for Kendry Miller. So six foot two 20, big guy, not a contact guy? I think that's, that's fairish. I would have expected a player of Kendrae Miller's size to survive more contact than he did. He's not Tank Bigsby, but still, like I was expecting to survive more contract than he does. Okay. So he was behind Zach Evans at TCU for two years, and then Zach Evans transferred Ole Miss, and then Miller took over. Where's number 33. He's only 20 years old. So,

So, like, I'm curious with the 50 shades of gray are for Kendry Miller. And yes, that was my impression was basically, there are guys smaller on this list who run harder. I guess it's the best way I could put it. Yeah. So the thing is he's tight, right? And so because he's tight, it doesn't change direction well. And what that does it puts you like where glancing contact gets you down where he's

like instead of like Bejohn Robinson, we're like your hips really bend for you. And you can like, you again, you look like, you know, like the bottom half's moving, but the top half isn't, right? With Kendry, with Kendry, he's tight. And so he doesn't change direction super well. And then he's upright, right? That's the other thing about being tight is he doesn't really sink into his knees into his hips, right?

He's not running from a wide base with power. He's just kind of a little top heavy, right? As I have a DeMarco Murray where he carried his weight earlier. And so it just makes him that glancing contact takes him down more often than he should. He doesn't get behind his pads as well as he should too. Because, again, he's just upright. But he's a shorter dude. And so he should have better natural leverage.

Now, with all that said, for a guy who's tight, he makes dudes miss. Like, he's got a nice feel for, like, tight area. and like, slip by a guy. I'm like, okay, if I push to this side and he guys get a little bit wide

and cut back up field, like he's got a knack for running. He gets it. And so it's a little bit frustrating because you just wish you were a better athlete. This is a guy that like a lot of the drafts community is really in love with because he's got some of those highlight real runs where he's stringing together two to three moves

and making guys miss. I don't think the meat and potatoes of it is super solid. But there's, he's a good runner. He's a running back. He understands it. It's just physically do we have limitations here. So my 10, Kaelin Belash.

Every back that I wish was more physical, I comp to Kailin Belash. To me, that works. So it's also upright, which is good there. Deschard Choice is my 20. Any Deschard Choice fans in the chat? Wow. Just nice, well-rounded, decent athlete from Texas, not that that matters. And then he's got to be the NFL, like every so often he'd have like, you know, a 60-yard game.

You're like, oh, cool, Deschard Choice. 30 is those 2 1,000-yard seasons that Jordan Howard had that one time. We're bringing that bait back. But again, a guy who can make dudes miss, right? When he was a full caliber athlete, he was enough to break tackles to get to the open field. He had some size to him. 40 to me is Jamal Williams and 50 is Nashi Harris. He's not as tall as Naji Harris.

But again, we're talking about guys who just run upright and they have physicality to them. If they're able to get their pads down and get low and dive into people, then they can be much more physical dominant runners. Like, Jamal Williams, like crazy touchdown production. But when you watch Jamal, there's a lot of plays where you're like, dude, like that could have been a five-yard run. Like you got like hit with velocity. You know what I'm saying?

And that ends up being a frustration. But with nausea with Jamal Williams, guys who understand how to get it done, whether they're catching the ball out of the backfield or they're running in between the tackles, they are capable of making that first guy miss because they just have knack. They have feel.

And that's an important thing at running back. And so Miller, by no means a bad prospect. Just a little bit one where like, you know, the traits don't match the style, right? And you're kind of a little bit of a square peg in a round hole. DK, do you agree on our assessment of Miller not running as hard or are you personally offended by that?

No, no, no. I think I was just surprised because he's a big, he's a big back. You know, I think it just kind of caught me by surprise. But I think everything that, that Ben was saying is correct. Like, I comped him to Deontay Foreman.

Like, that was my first impression of like a big guy, maybe not like a superstar, but a player that could come in and get positive yards kind of deal. You know, there are times where he can turn the corner and like it looks like he's pretty fast,

but then there are also times where it just looks like he's a grinder. I don't know. I had a hard time with him because half, like, I think you said it, Ben, like, you kept wanting more. Like, I did have that same feeling when I was watching him where I'm like, this guy could be like a Ramandre Stevenson, but not, he's not quite. Before we came on, DKK and that we're talking about, Izzy, a bonaconda, who's the running back out of pit. But his pro day was today as a recording Wednesday. He's 215 pounds and he ran a low, four, four, high four threes, right? You now have all the information you need to know to be like, yeah, we should draft this guy. Let's draft Izzy. Like, if you're going to be that big and that fast,

Like that's, that's a rare skill set. When you watch Kendrae Miller, who's 215, there are plays where like, is he 4-4? In those places we were like, dude, go. Like, get there. And so like, that's where once we start getting into the day three range, and I'm like, okay, I have a 215 pounder, but he's not like home run fast. And he's also not like dominant between the tackles. Now I don't know what to do with you.

Am I supposed to make you bigger? Am I supposed to make you lighter? And so that you'd be faster or whatever. Now, when I end up in that place, now I'd much rather get a guy. who just like makes sense me. Like I said, the skills matching the traits, right? He fits a mold. Like, Izzy, I have a Bontac. I'm going to get that name right in the first try at some point. Yeah. I understand the role for him.

Elijah Mitchell. Done. Right? It's very easy. Versus Miller, tougher to figure out. I totally agree. So this feels like a draft of really two elite guys, right? Bejohn and Jamir Gibbs. If you had to pick one of the day two or day three guys of all the people we just mentioned, I can say their name. Zach Charbonnet, Devon A chain, Devon A Chain, Ty Jier,

years, Roshan, is it Roshan Johnson, Kendrae Miller, and Duce Vaughn. You have to pick one of those guys who in four years is going to get a solid second contract. Who are you picking? A. Shane, for sure. I can definitely see A. Shane getting the Tony Pollard role following the Tony Pollard arc, arriving to free agency and then not getting franchise tagged by the Dallas Cowboys, who decided to go that direction for whatever reason, when they were going to release Zieg the whole time. But, yeah, to me, A. Shane, for sure, because he's a walk and home run.

Right. So if he's healthy in four years, yeah, he's getting someone. one's paying the money. Yeah, I was going to say my heart says A-Chain, because I love him. My head says Charbonnet just because he's like, he's just a lunch-bail guy. Like, I think his skill set is the type that last in the NFL. But yeah, A-chain, dude, he's just so fun to watch. You guys want to do some emails? Yeah. Emails. Email. This is from Brennan. Brennan. Brennan. I'm Brennan, but you could call me Nighthawk. Got to Google that one.

Step brothers. Step brothers. I don't know if that was, I don't know if Dale was Nighthawk or if Brennan was Nighthawk, but one of them was Nighthawk. It's, uh, it's, you have to call me Nighthawk for Google.

Was it Brennan or Dale? Did I get it right? It was Brandon. Dale was Dragon. Craig, gosh, don't embarrass yourself. Nighthawk. By not knowing Stip Brother's quote. So we're recording this Wednesday,

tomorrow's opening day. for baseball. So Brennan's emailed in multiple versions of, we have minor league baseball teams at a lie. Ooh, I didn't know we were doing two truths, one lie. America's favorite segment. America's favorite segment. Minor league baseball teams?

Oh, man. So these are two Midwest League teams and a lie. The Akron Smokers, the Beloit Skycarp, or the Cedar Rapids Colonels. Skycarp is amazing and has. to be real. Minor League Baseball teams are just the coolest names. Skycarp. Skycarp is real. But that's in the sky. What if it flew? And it's colonel spelled with a K. Like a corn kernel. It's not corn kernel. It's not colonels. It's kernels. I don't really get.

I think they colonels are fake. Well, do you think there's a chance that he's screwed up and just misspelled colonel as the grain? Like the military ring? He's heard of them, but he's never, he's ever written them down. Or does Cedar Rapids produce a lot of kernels? I don't know. Shit. I think the...

Akron Smokers. I think the Akron Smokers is fake. I know for a fact that one of these is real. Would you like that information or would you like for me to withhold it? No, you got to hold it. Okay.

Where is Beloit? I think it was in... In Indiana? Okay, well, that's not the one Ben knows is real, probably, then. If he had to Google that. Wisconsin. Wisconsin, Wisconsin, Wisconsin, Wisconsin.

All right. I'm going to say, I think the Akron Smokers is fake. Same. Akron Smokers is fake. Nice. I was going to guess Akersmokers. I know for a fact that the Cedar Rapids Colonels are real, which is elite. That's an awesome name.

I want to get hats for like every minor league baseball team around. I wish I knew we were doing this. I'd be wearing my Kalamazoo MacDaddy's hats right now, which was in the Kalamazoo minor league baseball team was a macaroni noodle with their mascot for like a product activation. so they just had a macaroni to walk around with the bat. They called him the Mac Daddy. Who's the one with the pickle mascot?

Portland Pickles. I had a buddy who worked for the Portland Pickles, but they're not a minor league team. They're like a Pacific Coast League or some shit. They're described as a collegiate woodbat baseball team. I don't even really know how the Savannah bananas. They're wild. Oh, by the way,

I stumbled upon the Savannah Bananas Instagram. Those are the guys do these dances. It's really fun. There's just great names. out there, like the River Cats in Sacramento. It's just cool. We also have two Southern League teams that a lie. We have the Delta Reddish Egritz.

Love an Eagrits. The Montgomery Biscuits or the Rocket City Trash Pandas. Biscuits is fake. It's my guess. I agree. It's got to be. Biscuit is 100% real. Oh, my God.

Is Reddish Eagle? Is the place called Delta Reddish and it's the Egrits? Or is it Delta? And then the mascot is an Eagrit who's like kind of red. And eagret's a bird, so I assumed reddish egrit was a reddish. Oh, it's a bird. Okay. Every bird has like a descriptor.

I'm saying delta reddish egrits is real. Or it's fake because the biscuit is 100% real and then trash pandas, a.k.a. raccoons got to be real. I actually checked and the Delta reddish egrits are fake and the Montgomery biscuits are real. The rock, what is it? What is the city? What's rocket city? Trash pandas might be the coolest sports name ever.

Houston? What's Rocket City? Houston? That's because of the huge of rockets? Huntsville, Alabama? Wait, what? My sister lives to Huntsville, Alabama. Madison is what I'm seeing.

There's a how Huntsville, Alabama earned the name. Oh, it's because of the space shuttle. Yeah, it's because NASA's based there. But yeah, the Rocket City trash band is playing Madison. But I think that's close to Huntsville. I don't know. NASA's based in where? Wait, no, Toyota Field.

Yeah, I drove past us when I flew to Huntsville. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, this is sick. I'm going to go visit my sister to try to go to Trash Panda's game. Dude, their logo is. is a raccoon inside of a trash can that's also a rocket ship. It is so cool. I'm Googling gear.

I'm Googling gear. The Huntsville.org website, which is both the most and least credible name because I always think about how Austin, Texas, which I love calls itself the capital of live music, which is just definitely not true. But Huntsville says that they were actually called Rocket City before the space race, and then the space race solidified it for them.

Interesting. Which is really odd. Destiny. Dude, these hats are unreal. Yeah, I'll buy one. Wait, how much is a Rocket City trash panda hats? Yeah, 30 bucks. They're sweet.

Should we all get one? Wait, drop the list. Just the shit matching hats? Look at this red one I sent with the little Trash Panda Rocket Ship. That's the exact one I'm looking at right now with 47. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Look at that little guy. Yeah, we're in a red hat those stuff these days. Yeah, you're fine. It's very true. Dude, I like this blue and black one's pretty sick. I just don't wear like the new era Flatbill hat.

I don't wear those. Yeah, that is a tag cap. I like that. There's one of the trash panda holding an American flag wearing an astronaut suit. Oh, I see it. I love that they lean into this stuff. He's so cute.

Email us at Ringer Fantasy Football at gmail.com if there are good other hats from minor league baseball teams that we should shout out or good logos or good whatever. Email us for minor league baseball teams. Opening the, just minor league team. Yeah, it's just minorly. I might get one of these Rocket City hats.

I also, I have the Brian Robinson big hat. Did I ever show you guys? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have the big hat. I feel like I do that, yeah. All right, I think that's all we got. We also have a lot more people who email this about Solek and jeans, but I'll leave that for another day.

We did. I mentioned this on a separate pod. Got like two comments. I mentioned this on y'all's pod, Fantasy Football Insanity, the Dancy pod over here. Ever's going bananas for a month. People like, this guy eats jeans. We got great retention on this show.

People are hanging around. Too much engagement with your listeners. Dial it back. Somebody basically called you out and said, what do you wear when you're just like

out on a sunny day at lunch with a t-shirt? With a t-shirt. What do you wear with a t-shirt? This person never heard of chinos? I think this person thinks chinos are too formal. A pair of a black chinos?

A pair of a dark maroon chinos? Like if you're wearing are, are you wearing chinos and a trash panda shirt if you and I are going to Chipotle. No, I'll probably put on joggers then. Yeah. When you said like out to lunch, I was thinking like they just sit down at a place with a menu.

Wow. Disparaging Chipotle. But okay. Chippole ain't got menus, man. They got a menu. What are you talking about? It's on the wall. I'm talking about you sit down and place you're holding a thing.

Yeah. You're not like getting a table service. Nothing between joggers and chinos though, I think is extreme. I think that's the kind of the thing that blew people's minds. I know, I feel like, I feel like people are underwriting a Chino, man. Just wear jeans. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to stop emailing us.

Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Salk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode. Thank you to jeans and whoever. I'm wearing jeans right now. These are black jeans. You're like Aaron Rogers right now. You're just pulling your toe up under the Zoom.

I don't have COVID toe. Should we just all just like... Oh, my God. I forgot about the COVID toe thing. Dude, I had to write about that when I heard about Rogers two weeks ago. And I was like, man, I can't believe this happened. Oh, my gosh.

Stuff is weird. Stuff has happened. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Lauren. Thank you. I'm doing it again. Let's go.

Abba. Abba was nominated for a Grammy this year for a new album. Dude, yo, we're going to Stockholm. Yes, we are. Together. Are they playing a concert? We should go to the Abba Museum. You know, Abba turned down a billion dollars to tour?

They said, we're good. Wow. Yeah. Same. That's how sick they are. They're like, we don't need it. Wow. Can I pitch you guys the greatest idea I've ever had? Okay, sure.

Yeah. Imagine if Kai just ends the pod here. Bye. Okay, okay, okay. So, so Mamma Mia, obviously, the song, so I don't know if, did you guys, maybe everyone knew this, but you know the play Mamma Mia was written backward from the catalog. I never realized this until very recently.

That, like, they wrote the entire musical around Abba's existing songs. Like, I'm too dumb to have realized that. So, Stevie Nix, legend, actually, unironically, wrote this song called Vampire's Dream because she watched the Twilight movies and was so overcome by how beautiful the movies were for Twilight that she's like this Edward Bella thing is so beautiful

I have to write a song about it and she wrote this song called Vampire's Dream and she plays it and people don't know what to do it's called Moon, it's an incredible song well it's just a funny song and so I think that they should do a Mamma Mia right now they would have kicked you out

they should do a mama Charger said go faster. This is your best idea ever. It's a Mamma Mia for the Fleetwood Mac catalog around Twilight. It's the Twilight. It's a Twilight play entirely with Stevie Nix Fleetwood Mac music. But she only made one song about Twilight, right? No, it should do the same thing.

No, it's all the Fleetwood Mac Stevie Nix songs. And you do what Abba did. You write the musical around the songs. Like Mama Mia with Abba. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Danny. Thank you, Craig. Dude, this is a billion-dollar idea.

How are you guys listening? They already made a vampire musical. It's in forgetting Sarah Marshall, all right? They gave up the billion dollars for touring, so they're not doing this. It's getting kind of hard to believe. How are you going to beat that? That could be the opening. Dracula musical.

I can play something else. The whole time he was doing it, I was just thinking of like the Chappelle, wrap it up. Get that big hook on stage. Yank them off. All right. Goodbye, everyone.