The Ringer NFL Show - Bills Trade Stefon Diggs to Houston. Plus, a Draft Mailbag!

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

LIVE SHOW in Detroit on April 24: Click below for tickets! The guys start by sharing their instant reactions to the Buffalo Bills' trade of Stefon Diggs to the Houston Texans and what it means for both teams (1:20). Next, the guys open up the mailbag to answer the most burning draft-related (and non-draft-related) listener questions on everything from what the Patriots will do with the third pick to passing fandom down to your kids (21:54). Tickets: http://bit.ly/ringerdraft24 Check out our 2024 Ringer NFL Draft Guide here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever wondered about the meaning behind your favorite song lyric? Or why certain melodies make your skin tingle? I'm Cole Kushner and these are the kinds of questions I try to answer on Dissect, a podcast that dives deep into one album per season, examining the music, lyrics, and meaning of one song per episode. I've dissected full albums by Kendrick Lamar, Radiohead, Tyro the Creator, Beyonce, Kanye, and more. Our latest season just launched all about M.F. Doom's Mad Villany. Listen to Dissect wherever you get your podcast because great art deserves more than a swipe. Raff Show. My name is Danny Hypes, and I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Whirlbeck.

No Ben Solek today. Ben Sleck has been in a coma since the Stefan Diggs trade went down. He couldn't handle it. No. He just froze. So, you know, we're just going to try to resuscitate Seleck. But until then, we're new a mailbag today. Thank you to everyone to email this at ringerfinacy football at gmail.com. But first, our mailbag, a little interruptado because we have a Stefan Diggs. I just made that up. I don't know. I like it. It was. Slightly offensive, probably in some ways.

I'm not sure. Mildly offensive. Mildly. Anyway, Stefan Diggs got traded. Let's just get into it. So the bills traded Stefan Diggs to the Houston Texans. The bills get a future second rounder. So 2025 second round pick.

That's actually Minnesota's. And in exchange, the Houston Texans get Stefan Diggs plus the sixth rounder this year and a fifth rounder next year. And then because the bills traded Diggs, they also bills have to take $31 million in Dead Cap this year. And a reminder, dead cap is like money. They already paid Stefan Diggs at the, you have to count for now.

So it's like a credit card. You spend the money now. You're going to pay it later. But then you want to close the card. Well, you owe them all that money that you spent. So that's basically it. So the bills have $31 million of Buffalo's budget this year will be so that he can, Stefan Diggs can play for the Houston Texans.

Right. Meanwhile, the Texans get digs for $19 million this year. And then they owe him no guaranteed money whatsoever after the season. So what is your immediate reaction to this? D.K. My first immediate reaction, quite honestly, was that feels kind of steep, like a second round pick for Stefan Diggs is he's 31 years old. Really? Especially relative to all the trades we've seen lately.

Like, Amari Cooper got traded for a fifth rounder. Like all the, there's been so many trades. Keenan Allen for a fourth. Yeah, there's been. For a sixth. A hundred percent. So there's been so many trades of late where it's like, oh, that's what they got. Why did my team not do that?

This one felt more like, ooh, that was a steep price to pay for a third. soon to be 31 year old guy who completely fell off the map. Soon to be 31, also known as 30. Soon to be 31. He's 30 going on 31. Thank you, Craig. However, like, I could just be like a just recently 29-year-old wide receiver. What is his birthday?

Because the reason you- It's November 29th. We're doing the metric system for age. He's 20 and 10. Craig, here's the reason you do that. It's his age 31 season. It's going to be his age 31 season. He'll be 31 in that season.

All right, Mr. 41 years old. Calm down. In like week 10, like week, 12, he'll be, it's your age 42 podcast here. Do you want a 31 year old guy who's like getting all old in the playoffs? Like that's not what we want. People forget when the Patriots traded for Randy Moss, guess how old he was that season? He was 30 and they had 23 touchdowns.

I think this is this really easy, great move for it. I think, but the question is, is Stefan Diggs good? Like, is Stefan Diggs good? And here's the thing. On one hand, he's the fun digs. We could sit here and be like, do the Texans have a top three receiver cord? Nico Collins, Stefan Diggs tanked out. The question is, is Stefan Diggs good?

because on one hand, he's Stefan Diggs. On the other hand, the final three months of the season for the bills, Khalil Shakir had more receiving yards of the bills than Stefan Diggs did. And so I think the question to me is super simple, which is, was Stefan Diggs hurt and kind of sucking it up? Or does Stefan Diggs actually like super declined last year? And the bills are making out like bandits. I think there's a third door, too, Heifitz that I've seen people talking about on Twitter.

I think is actually very intriguing is if you look at the splits between after Joe Brady took over versus before it was Ken Dorsey. Yes, Ken Dorsey. And so basically the splits between Ken Dorsey as offensive coordinator and Joe Brady as offensive coordinator. The idea and thought here,

the theory is that Joe Brady's offense does not really have a focal point guy. Like, they're not drawing up plays for Stefan Diggs. And as a result of that, he didn't get nearly as much of a target rate. He didn't get nearly as much production. And by the way, he got mad and he decided he wanted to start like trash talking.

He's always mad on Twitter. Mad? Yeah. So I think that's door number three. That is, I think, potentially valid here. Maybe Stefan Diggs is actually still really, really good. But this is also alluding to what I just said was, you know, he was going, like just yesterday, he went on Twitter and was like questioning whether Josh Allen will be good without him.

The bills are spending $31 million of dead cap to get rid of this guy. Like that has to put off some alarm bells for you. They know him. They've had been around him for years. The Vikings, by the way, also got rid of him. I will say in that argument, other people who took massive dead caps to get rid of a player recently are Aaron Rogers, Russell Wilson, Carson Wentz, Antonio Brown. Those are very recent huge dead cap. I'll give you that.

But Stefan Diggs went to the bills and was fantastic for four straight seasons. Great point. And they nearly made the Super Bowl and we're basically, if Patrick Mahomes didn't exist, Josh Allen would probably have like two Super Bowl rings right now. I do think, D.K., going back to what you said, I think it's crazy that we are assuming that Stefan Diggs might be just like a, immediately over the hump. To start last year, the first six weeks of the season, he was the number one wide receiver in fantasy. He was on fire.

It was classic Stefan Diggs. Then the Kandorsi firing happens. And Scott Barrett from Fantasy Points tweeted this. Pre-Joe Brady, Stefan Diggs, 86 yards a game, during Joe Brady, 45 yards a game. He also pointed out that DJ Moore in Carolina, when Joe Brady was in Carolina, DJ Moore finished as the third best wide receiver on that team

behind Robbie Anderson and Curtis Samuel. Yeah, see, that's good. Joe Brady might not be a good coordinator. And that's why I'm throwing off guard, DK, that I'm surprised that you didn't think this was like a hit for the Texans because the reality is the Texans had the 23rd pick. And then they flip that to two second rounders with the Vikings. But now, and then with if you take that trade plus this trade, the Texans turn the 23rd pick in the draft into the 42nd pick in the draft and Stefan takes. That's amazing. The Texans are doing everything where we say, rookie quarterback contracts.

CJ Stroud's cheap. You get to use the money around it. And they're like, all right, we have like three years now where C. Stroud's going to be hopefully elite, healthy, and, like, great. And now it's like, all right, get him Stefan Diggs, get him Nico Collins. They spent money on defense. And not only that, it's a one-year deal. It's basically a team option after this year for Diggs.

They're going to pay Diggs $18 million this year, and then it's up to the Texans. To be clear, I don't think that Stefan Diggs, if he can return to what he was early in the season last year. Like, obviously that's a great thing for, for C.J. Stroud, and this is exactly what we preach all the time. Like, get good guys around your young quarterbacks while they can. This is awesome. Great point of view. You just asked me for my initial.

impression and my initial impression was like, wow, a second rounder is steep, especially when you talk about Keenan Allen for a fourth or who, like, there's been so many trades again that have just happened where it's like, you spent, that's all it took, a six rounder? Why is not every team doing this? The answer, though, is not too well, actually you, Craig, but the answer is that actually Craig's wrong. It's not a one-year deal. They have no guaranteed money left, but they actually have like, Keenan Allen, this is the last

year of Keenan Allen's contract. So they're paying a fourth rounder because it's like after this year, he's 32, but then he's not under team control. Diggs has like three years left of team control. He has four years left in his contract. But aren't they all team options? They don't have to pick them up. Yeah, but that's good.

That means the team gets to decide. That means if he sucks, they're not committed. But if he's good, he's under contract. That's what teams want. Teams want long-term commitments with no guaranteed money. That's exactly what teams want. I'm saying the same thing that like worst-case scenario, this is a one-year thing and they don't have to pay for him for the next three years.

Exactly. But best case scenario, Stefan Diggs, leads the NFL in receiving, but he's under contract for three more seasons after. of that. The Keenan Allen for fourth, because it's the best case, what if Keenan Allen's incredible Chicago? He's a free agent. Same deal with Justin Fields. Uh, what, after next year? So what, Justin Fields next year goes from getting paid one and a half million dollars to $25 million. Then he's a free agent. And they're going to decline it. So really, realistically, Justin Fields is a free agent next season. So that's why he went for six run pick.

The team control is why it's such a low, like a higher pick for Diggs. But I think, I think it's easy to see why this is good for the Texans, the AFC South, all that jazz. I The Bills, I think this is crazy for the Bills. If you're a Bills fan, I think this is kind of gutting. And especially because, frankly, this era of Josh Allen and the Bills, as we know it is over and Patrick Mahomes killed it. Like, as you said, Craig, like the reality is this is happening. The Bills totally did a facelift because the last four years,

the Bills went for it. Like they maxed out all the credit cards to go for it the last four years. Patrick Mahomes ended three of the last four Bills seasons in the fucking playoffs. Patrick Mahomes, like, kind of personally ended this era of the bills. And they spent all this money that they're like, all right, they maxed out the credit cards. And then you got to pay the bill. And you're like, all right, do I really need Peacock premium plus for $11.99 a month? Like, all right, you know, it adds up.

And they look, Micah Hyde, Jordan Poyer, they're two great safeties. Tradavis White, they're great cornerback. They're like adding up all these subscriptions. And they're like, do I really need this subscription to like, I don't know. Again, peacock plus paramount. And then you look at stuff on things. Look, peacock's not that bad. Peacock's not that bad.

There are, there are worse streaming services out there. You can get it for free. Do you want stuff on days $31 million? Do you want to just go get Brian Thomas LSU in the draft? And so that's thing. The bills, unfortunately, are setting up the next four years. And this is the very painful transition process between their last title run. But this is like the third era.

The first era of Josh Allen was like, L.O.L. What a bad pick. Then the last four years that Mahomes ended. And now they like have to do a whole new one around Josh's prime. He's 27 years old. I just don't. Well, you see, if you want to talk age, Josh Allen is really 28. He turns 28 in May.

That's where you can jump ahead. year olds. Yeah, yeah. Yes. So Josh Allen. The former 26 year old, Josh Allen. I don't like taking a couple years off when your quarterback, who is a known maniac on the field, is nearing 30 years old.

He's still in his prime. I mean, like, the physical side of Josh Allen is not going to get any better. He's not going to be like 33 years old doing the same Tasmanian devil stuff he's doing right now. So this kind of scares me. I think we're in a weird spot. Like, if you're a Bill's fan, you are less excited for this upcoming season and a season that follows than you were a week ago.

I mean, your Super Bowl odds are certainly dropping. Even if you can dynasty brain this and be like, well, long term, we're getting off to Stefan Diggs thing, bad locker room guy. You know, the long term contract we're off of. You can do all that, but in reality,

the bills are not a top three AFC team anymore. Well, he also wasn't happy there, which it's probably not great to be paying, you know, a $30 million, like $18, $20 million to someone who fucking hate showing up to work every day.

But then also, it's, again, I don't want to make it seem like they're just choosing to pull back. It's like, The last four years were like a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night, Sunday night, Sunday night, great time, great time. And then they're spending and they wake up Monday morning. They're like, oh, we don't have much.

We like spent money. And they have to do a little reset. Now, I think what's crazy is the Chiefs did that and then traded tire kill once in Super Bowl. Yeah, I was going to say, it's like the bill's offense was still really good when Stefan Diggs was an afterthought in the scheme. Yes. It's not like this offense is going to be total crap. And by the way, there's still plenty of time to make additional moves.

Maybe they spend a first round pick on a receiver and it looks a little. bit better. You know, maybe they go and trade for a guy like, hey, Tyler Lockett or whoever, some other veteran guy who's kind of like nearing the end of his deal and another team wants to move on. Maybe they do this as like a little bridge type receiver situation in Buffalo. I think there's still a lot of dominoes that are going to fall before the season starts before we really can say they're tanking it or, you know what I mean? They're just like, I don't resetting. Right. They're not, they're certainly not tanking, but it's, what it's the different, like this happens in football, but what is the defining?

era, the game of the Bill's Josh Allen so far. It's still the 13 seconds game, right? What's crazy, they have no receivers left from that game. They have four defenders left from that game. Like, it's a totally different team. Right? And it's like, that's because they want to forget that night. They don't want to think about it. Yeah, Sean McDick... Did you see someone had a meme?

I don't know. Maybe we cut this. But did you see someone had a Sean McDermott talking to Stefan things? And they captioned it, there's no eye and al-Qaeda. Yeah. There's no eye and al-Qaeda. Yeah, that's great. Incredibly good. Incredibly good bit. That was amazing. So, but to your point, though, about what do they do now?

So I think we got an amazing email from, I'm not going to lie, I don't know how to pronounce their name. I'm not the pronunciation guy. J.E.S. I don't know if that's French, Jess. Sure. I don't know. Do I want to attempt it?

Jay? I don't know. If I did that, what if I did that? I would even, anyway, great question from Jay, which was, what team was an absolute glaring hole in the roster, would you be most worried about if they did not address that position in the first round or two? Timely. Yeah.

Incredible. Yeah, incredibly timed to question. The bills have the 20th pick. Again, the second rounder they got is next year. So they're the 20th pick, the 60th pick, and the 120th pick. They, I mean, the bills kind of have to hit a receiver in the first two rounds. And then the question is, do they go with a guy like Brian Thomas and L.S. You are like, if he doesn't fall to them, I don't know.

What do you think, D.K., like do the bills trade back, try to add extra picks? I feel like they need two receivers out of this draft because they also love Gabe Davis. Or sorry, Gabe Davis. Yeah, yeah. They lost Gabe Davis. Gabe Davis. Went to Jacksonville. And they signed Curtis Samuel, but Curtis Samuel is more of a replacement for like Cole Beasley.

Like they still need Gabe two outside receivers. Yeah, it's tough because it depends on how bullish you are on a guy like Dalton Kincaid. Obviously, as a rookie, he looked pretty promising and was very productive for them. If he is their de facto number one receiver, sort of like a Travis Kelsey type player, I don't think they necessarily need two receivers. I think they could probably do one and be pretty good, assuming like everything you don't have a bunch of injuries or whatever. So I would say they need at least one,

and it would be shocking to me now, especially if they didn't use either of their two first picks on a receiver at this point. I feel that way about a few teams. I think it's kind of odd that four of the best, I don't know, 10 quarterbacks in the league have a terrible receiving court right now. The Chargers with Herbert, there's nothing for them.

They have the fifth pick in the draft. The Jags with Trevor Lawrence, I mean, I guess you have Christian Kirk, give Gabe Davis. They have four guys who are beaming. minuses or C pluses and they're fine with it in Jackson. In the tight end. Patrick Mahomes, obviously, where she rice is in a weird situation right now, we don't know what's going to end up with that. And then now Josh Allen and the bills,

like these are teams all with first round picks that all have massive glaring holes at the wider seeper position with legitimately Hall of Fame quarterbacks. Maybe not Trevor Lawrence. Well, that just tells you about the salary cap, right? A little bit. I mean, there is a question there about whether, I think that at the end of the day, I don't have to call nerdy, but I think it's the other thing about the trade comp decays. It's like supply and demand. It's like every year we have all these receivers entering. There's all these receivers in the draft.

So do you want to pay a 22-year-old a million dollars a year? It's going to get better. You want to pay a 30, sorry, 30 going almost 31-year-old. Yep. Make $15, $20 million a year and they're going to get worse. Because then there's the supply, there's more and more receivers every year. And I think teams are like, oh, should we just be putting a quarterback? It's the Leonhard de Caprio.

He's like, look, why would I get married? Yeah. It's another 25-year-old I could date. That's easy. That's fun. Bill's picked 28th in the draft. Let's say Marvin Harrison, Jr. Ohio State.

Hyphins didn't like that. Hyvitz blew right past that. No, it was good. I don't know if it was an appropriate or something. Kind of just plod right through it. No, Hyphins loves his DeCaprio analogy. No, it's true. Just DeCaprio.

I just, yeah. Okay. That's fine. I thought I was going to ruffle his feathers a little more. I thought he was going to kind of, I thought his eyes were going to perk up, but I got nothing from him. He's too locked in. You know, it's my fault because I pulled up the draft guide.

I was trying to look at Dickie's beautiful draft guy. And I don't know if it's so nice. And I was blinded by the beauty. It's even more beautiful than 28-year-old models. 25. Sorry, sorry, you're right. Leo DiCaprio's never messed with anyone who's almost 29, D.K. You're right, my fault.

My correction, yes. 22. So let's say Marvin Harrison Jr.'s gone. Malik Nabors at LSU is gone. Brock Bowers, tight end at Georgia's gone. Romadun's state of Washington's gone. If you're the, if you're the bills, would you be looking at like, if Brian Thomas out of LSU fell to you at 28, that's probably the dream?

Yeah. At that point, would you take a player like Ladd-McConkey at a job? Georgia, you have Troy Franklin or your big board at Oregon. Would you take those dudes at 28 or would you maybe trade back, try to add it in their pick? And then because there's so many, if Brian Thomas doesn't fall to you, like, what would you do if you were the Bill's GM and they called you up and they're like, hey, DK, which made a huge mistake.

What do we do, man? I mean, I don't know. It obviously just depends. Like, if all three of those guys are still there, yes, tradeback a couple of because it's likely that you'll still be able to draft one of them. But there's so many variables here. How much they like all these guys? How much do they think he's going to fit in their offense?

I think Brian Thomas would be sort of the ideal pick for them, just because of his ability to take the top off the defense. He's run after the catch guy. He's a big outside guy with a ton of upside. Yeah, size, too. I mean, everybody on the bills right now, Khalil Shakir, Curtis Samuel, these are all kind of like short, you know, quick, intermediate kind of guys.

Exactly. I think a guy like Brian Thomas or maybe even Keon Coleman or A.D. Mitchell, those guys, those three make the most sense, like an archetype point of view where they're going to give you that big outside. presence. All three of them are pretty good in terms of like going up and catching it in contesting catch situations, like basically using their size as an advantage. I think with Josh Allen particularly, combining like that big arm and that aggressive

style with one of these guys makes a lot of sense. So I mean... Do you think there's any way that the bills start the season with the current receiving crop they have right now? I think the odds are it's low. Yeah. Cuter Samuel, Khalil Shakir, Dalton Kikade, I think the D.K.K.K. that they probably need one guy, not necessarily,

one day one guy, one guy from day one and two, and then they'll certainly add one like six, seventh round, but not like to contribute immediately. I think, D.K., last one here, let's say for whatever reason the bills don't take a receiver at 28. There's a run and they don't want to reach or whatever happens. And they have the 60th pick. You have guys receivers on your board around 60-ish.

We have Ricky Parasola, receiver at Florida, Jalen McMillan, the receiver at Washington, Malik Washington out of Virginia. That's kind of confusing. Javon Baker, to UCF. Who's a guy that fits Buffalo that you think if they were there at 60 that Bill's Finns could rejoice and be like, hey, everything's going to be okay. I mean, I think Pearsall would make a lot of sense for them, but Javon Baker really does stylistically fit what they want to do because he's a outside guy, a vertical threat. Again, really good, really good body control at the catch point.

Like, he goes and makes some pretty ridiculous catches. He got some twitch to him. So I think he would make sense stylistically with what they're trying to do. I think Pearsall would be very good, too. I don't think Jalen McMillan makes a lot of sense for them because he mainly played in the slot at Washington. If Jalen Polk is there in the second round, I think that would be an outstanding pick for them.

So, yeah, they could certainly stop. And also, by the way, Xavier Leggett might be there. I know that he has some big question marks about his overall prospect profile, but he is the type of player that would really fit with them, I think. So, yeah, they could certainly wait until the second round. They're still going to be probably like three or four guys that make a ton of sense for them in the 60s area.

And also, you mentioned Ricky Parasota Florida. The ringer NFL draft show has to issue to issue to correction. We regret the error. But we talked about Ricky Parasol's tattoo and how it's the dumbest tattoo I've ever seen in my entire life. And maybe we can throw this up on the Spotify app. But we talked a lot about how Ricky Parasol is this massive tattoo, like elbow to wrist tattoo of a roulette wheel with dice. And it says, bet on me. We talked about how ridiculous he doesn't know gambling works.

We did not even mention that he has like a straight flush of cards. like Ace King, Queen Jack, but instead of Ace King, it spells out the word humble. And it just says humble like you got Delta Royal flush of Humble. Except Humble is six letters

so it doesn't even really make sense as a royal flush. I gotta say that's pretty damn humble of him to tattoo humble on his arm. That's like kind of, the first thing a humble person does is write it on his body.

D.K. You're just like killing me over here. I'm just coughing. Sorry. Every time I laugh, I start coughing. I've had this terrible cough for like the last two weeks. That might be the second worst NFL tattoo I've ever seen or a football tattoo. Dan Lannning, head coach of Oregon.

Google that. Dude, that's a tough one. Dan Lending tattoo is of his wife. Is it sick? I don't know if it's sick, but it's ridiculous. Dan Lannin is Google. Those are very different things. Dan Lannning Oregon tattoo.

And if you Google that, the first thing comes up, Dan Langing, the coach at Oregon, has a giant tattoo. I think it's on his chest. And it's basically of his wife's chest. And it's like, his wife wearing no shirt with, it's just his wife with tattoos. Yeah, of like different schools he's been at.

So it's like his tattoos or of his, of her with her tattoos. But like it's just on the panthe, like on the pantheon of tattoos, you would imagine Kenny Powers has. Like Dan Lanning, Ricky Pearson, those guys are up there on that. 100%. And you need that to be a college coach.

It's why Oregon is such a juggernaut is because he has that tattoo. There's no other reason. Right. Email us at Ringer Fantasy Football, Gmail.com. If you know, other people with insane tattoos or just, we'll always take tattoos. Wait, what was the correction? Just that it said humble?

We didn't mention it. The correction was that we didn't point out the most horrible, the most ridiculous part of the tattoo we were joking about. Got it, got it, got it. I also got to point out, Odell Beckham has a dark night tattoo of the Joker, like a really realistic one of Heath Ledger. And it's directly between like Barack Obama and like Lil Wayne. And Martin Luther King.

Like, that's who's like flanking the Joker. And I'm like, what do they talk about? And it's like, you guys what are just to me? Emails? Yeah. And it's a mailbag. All right, yeah, emails. I want to start with Jess again, because Jess asked two good questions.

Jez. Jez. Jez. I think it's Jess. Anyway, je. Maybe it's je. Email us, jess, and tell us how to pronounce me. I think the S is silent. Yeah, I should have replied before.

Je. Je, je. Maybe. Je, je, je should. I should ask Liz. My wife speaks French. So does Je. That be useful.

Yeah. Flex. Also, you could use Google. No, it's cooler when I ask ways. All right. Jay asks, what quarterback in the last five to ten or longer years, whom you consider a bust now do you think could have been a decent starter if given the Jordan Love Treatment? First one that came to mind was if Mack Jones was actually drafted by the Niners, like everybody

thought he was. That's my first thought too, Craig. Yeah. Like there's a chance that we have no idea who Brock Pretty is right now and Mac Jones has a Super Bowl ring. You think that's legitimately in play? Yeah, I had the exact same thought. I think, like, Mac Jones, especially when you take into account, like, how pretty well he played as a rookie.

Like, he looked pretty decent. Like, there was, I think, a good amount of optimism with around him around what he could become in the NFL. And then everything just fell apart in year two. And then year three, of course, was just a disaster. So I'm actually still of the opinion, like, Mac Jones could end up being a starter in the NFL again. He's not necessarily, like, we haven't necessarily written him off totally as a bust. I think, you know, the other guys, of course, that we've probably over defended over the years is Justin Fields.

I think just the way that they sort of switched offensive coordinators on him and never really gave him a very good supporting cast, all these things. There's a lot of mitigating circumstances with why he struggled so much, I think, early on in his career. High Fitz has got his cat on screen here. He's getting all the wires. He's like a rag doll. You can really just do whatever you want with him.

Come back up here. He's just a little baby. I also think if you want to go to the other, the way around, if you want to go to 2018, the Baker, Mayfield, Josh Allen, Darnold, Josh Rosen, year, pretty much so. Of those four quarterbacks, Josh Allen's the only one who really worked out. Baker's doing okay now, but, you know, had an interesting start. If, if Josh Allen is on any other team, if Josh Allen is on that Cardinals team, on the Jets, on the Browns, I'm not sure he is who he is today. And I think if Sam Darnold was on the bills,

Sam Donald might be, you know, on year seven of his career right now, starting in NFL. I totally agree. Like, this is why I'm so big on nature versus nurtured. Baker Mayfield went to the Browns and had five coordinators in three years. He went to the winless Cleveland Browns. The bills don't look great, but the bills made the playoffs a year and a half earlier without Josh Allen before he went there. On that note, instead of quarterbacks who made it, I don't think he's anything

anywhere else. Dak Prescott got to play behind the best roster in the NFL, the best line in the NFL. I don't know if DAC becomes anything anywhere else. I think that's the case for like way more people than we ever want to admit. Like, Kirk Cousin started his career with like five head coaches in the NFL. Like if he goes to different staff, like they might never have made anything of him to start. And if they don't get the good start, they don't get the chance. So I also am not going to lie, though I misread this question.

And I actually thought it meant something else. So I had a list of quarterbacks that I thought would have succeeded in this era of the NFL that wouldn't have been or that from that's not what they asked. Right. But I went down to Terrell Pryor, wormhole from Ohio State. And I'm like, dude, if Terrell Prior came out now, Terrell Prior for the Youngens, 6 foot 4, 228 pounds reportedly at a 4-3-340-yard dash.

So that's basically like taller Brian Thomas at LSU, but he plays quarterback. That's like what people want, right? 64-228. That's what we want a quarterback, right, D.K.? Terrell Prior got so, Terrell Prior got suspended Ohio State because he paid for tattoos with signing footballs.

Talk about like a, like that's, he literally got suspended, Jim Tressel resigned as the coach of Iowa State because they signed footballs instead of paying money. Now like they would literally... Nothing matters anymore. They'd be paid in commercials for the tattoo shop now. Can't believe that used to matter.

Do you know what I didn't know? So Terrell Pryor got kicked out of Ohio State and had to do the supplemental draft. He got kicked out after the NFL draft happened. Do you know what I realized? The NFL suspended him five games to uphold the NCAA ruling. So Trill Pryor signed for footballs in Ohio State Tattoo Shop.

And then his first five NFL games, he wasn't paid. Because he did that. And then he ended up being a thousand-yard receiver anyway. But I'm like, him as a quarterback now, like, I think would have been, it's a totally different era. It would have been incredible. I like that a lot. That's a good one. Not to totally just commit to the entire draft class from 2021.

But the Trey Lance thing, I think, is another one that we have to look at where if you're talking about specifically the Jordan Love track where you come in, you're behind a, you know, MVP caliber type player or very good all, like all-part. pro bowl type player for four years. How long did he sit for? Three years or four years? I can't remember. No, Jordan Love. I think he sat for three. Three full years. Yeah. Yeah. And so if you have Tray Lance, who's, again, we talked about this prior to the draft, like, historically low number of pass attempts in high school and college for like a first round quarterback. Like, unheard of, unheard of lack of experience at the quarterback position. Like having the experience of sitting for three years, learning the offense, knowing the lay. language, like getting it down pat, knowing exactly where he needs to go with everything,

having a mentor. Like all that stuff, I think, would have really, really helped Trey Lance. I mean, he came in. He was the backup initially, but then kind of came in because Jimmy G. got hurt. And then he got hurt. And he had another major injury. It just, like, threw his career track completely off course.

And he's another guy who I think could have really, really benefited from that type of development arc. I think actually more than anyone we talked about here, like he would have benefited from that. That's a really good segue. We have a couple of other quarterback related emails here. And that's a really good point though, because I think the Niners are on record saying when they made the trade to move up to three

in the 2021 draft, the Niners did not know who they wanted. They were between, they were like, there's enough quarterbacks we're going to pick later. And at the time they made it, they thought they wanted Mack Jones, and then they changed their mind to Tray Lance. But to your point, I think that Kyle Shanahan was swayed by the songs, the siren song of Tray Lance's mobility, the ceiling of the

offense being higher, but that they were swayed, but they hadn't made the total commitment that, hey, Kyle, you have to be patient with this kid if you're going to do it. And they didn't have the commitment to that. So with that said, I think like, that's a good idea that there's sometimes the idea of what a quarterback can be, but is there like an organizational philosophical commitment to like what you're going to do with these people? So with that said, we have a email here from Chris.

Chris. Chris. As a Pat's fan, I'm assuming, let's assume Drake May is not available at number three. I would rather trade down and target Michael Pennix Jr. in the late first, early second to take you in Daniels. Am I a lunatic? And it keeps going, but I want to know right now, do you think Chris is a lunatic for saying I'll trade down

rather than take Jit and Daniels? Or factor in that the trade down would get you presumably a Michael Pennix and perhaps a receiver as well. No, I don't think that's a lunatic idea. We don't know enough about what's going to happen. So because Chris says, it's interesting to me how many similarities as Michael Penning's and Jinnels have, both are older prospects, both were buoyed by excellent

surrounding talent, both either by injury history or play style could correctly be labeled injury risks in the NFL. And the main difference in my view is Daniels obviously is an infinitely more dynamic runner while Michael Pennix might have a more dynamic arm. So it's a crazy to think that a triumvirate of Michael Pennix Jr. with like a Brian Thomas at LSU with if they get the 23rd pick. And then also like Troy Fautonu in Minnesota, sorry, with the 11th pick, is that a better core to build around then than say Jaden Daniels and then getting some tackle like Patrick Paul and Jalen McMillan at receiver? I don't know. This is the eternal question of the draft, right? Like, this is the what ifs that make it so difficult. I think it all

comes down to like how you feel about Jaden Daniels, right? Like, as a podcast, it feels like we've soured on him a little bit. Even though I still like it. You guys have. I think Jad and Daniels could be awesome. Yeah. I mean, I think generally speaking, when we talk about players, so much. It tends to like build one way or the other versus like trying to be just right down the middle on everything. But I still like him. I still got him. I think as my 10th player or something like that. So it's not, I'm not really low on him. But there's just some concerns around him that I don't have with other players at the quarterback position. So if you think that Jane Daniels is going to be awesome, like you should absolutely take him there. Do you think of the

past draft Jay Daniels they should sit him for a year? No. Well, that's the thing related to the Tray Lance, who are the quarterbacks that would be best suited to sit for a year and get not Jordan Love Treatment, but at least Mahomes. Mahomes sat for a full year and came in like at the end of the season of Week 17, but like who are the quarterbacks that you think would be best served to sit for a year no matter where they went? I mean, probably J.J. McCarthy because of his lack of experience. I think with Jane Daniels, he's started for five or six years now. You know, he started so many games. Second only in this class to Bo Nicks in terms of total starts in his college career. He's got plenty of experience. The question.

I think when it comes down to if New England takes him at three is do you sit him simply because their offense sucks? Not because they're worried about his lack of experience or whatever. They want to get, you know, they want to get him more reps in the offense or learn the language. I think that, you know, he's had so much experience that that is not as big of a deal to me. It's purely like, do we want to throw him out there with these shitty skill players and just hope he does well? Like that's the mental and physical consequences of playing in this Patriots offense as a rookie this year. year might be worth less than, you know, actually giving him the experience of playing on the field as a rookie. I don't know. And I'm curiously, why does McCarthy need to sit and why not Drake?

I feel like Drake May needs to sit too. I think McCarthy needs to sit because he's the most inexperienced. Drake May has less experience. Drake May is fewer starts than McCarthy does. I mean, you could make the same argument about Drake May. I think that's fine. They're both like 21 years old. McCarthy's been in less position. Well, they're almost 22. 22. almost 21 going on 22. I was just 28, so I'm technically 28. As much as I am 30, I am equally 28. I was recently almost 26.

I think you guys don't understand how age works when it comes to the NFL. We talk about the number that they are during that season. No, I get how it works. It's that when you want to imply that they might get worse, you say they're almost 31. And then when you want to imply that they might be okay still, you say they just turned 30. And he's not saying you.

He's saying the proverbial. you. We all do that. You know? When I want to sound older, I say I'm almost 30. I just caught myself from another mispronunciation. Keeping in my own head. Okay. But you caught yourself from doing it or you did it?

I didn't hear what. I was about to say, saying my head, and then I realized my friend screamed at me for saying, saying wrong. I'm going to move on. You'll never find out what it was. Damn. Damn. It's kind of hard to be high fits now. Like every time he speaks, he's just terrified. I keep wondering. What are the other words out that I don't know. Like, because they're out there. And that one, I just found out one in my head. You're just going to get word canceled at any moment.

Yeah. Word canceled. All right. Last one of the quarterbacks here, Billy. Billy. Billy. William. William.

William. If you had to rank last year's quarterback draft class and this year's quarterback draft class together, how would they rank as prospects? And this is before we knew what they were going to do in the NFL. So just as prospects, how would you combine the C.J. Stroud-Bryce young class with the current Caleb Williams class. Ooh, that's a very good question. I probably would do Caleb Stroud.

And you had Stroud as your number one quarterback last year. Right. Caleb Stroud. And then you're into like Drake Mae, Bryce Young, Anthony Richardson, Jane Daniels category. I'm just looking back at what I had last year. I had CJ Stroud number two, Young three, which is not looking good. I had Anthony Richardson 11th overall.

And then this year I've got it. Caleb Williams, number one, Drake May number two. I think if I was stacking them up, it would be Caleb Williams, C.J. Stroud, Drake May, as my top three. This email's from Connor. Connor. Conheads.

One, one per, almost one percent. Almost one percent. Almost, we're almost on the point. My wife and I are having our, this is Connor.

My wife and I are having her first kid this summer. Shout out So lack. Nice. Even though there's plenty of time to decide this, I want your advice as to whether I should pass down all of my fandoms. This is good. For context, I'm a Pittsburgh Steelers fan in the NFL,

an LA Angels fan in baseball, an Lakers fan in the NBA, Anheim Ducks in NHL, an SMU fan for college sports. I grew up in Orange County, hence Angels, Lakers, ducks, have family in Pittsburgh, hence the Steelers, and went to college at SMU, hence SMU. My wife went to Colorado Boulder.

So I already think that SMU fandom is a long shot considering Coach Prime, but I wonder whether I should force, quote, to quote, force my pro teams on my son, or let him choose his own favorites. DK. Yeah. Should you force your fan?

Will you force your Seahawks fandom on your son or would you let him pick? No, I'm not going to force the Seahawks fandom on my son. But the context of where we live, it's very likely he's not going to have a choice. You know what I mean? Like, he's going to be around Seahawks. He's going to be watching Seahawks on Sundays. He's going to be just in the Seahawks sphere of fandom. I didn't choose to be any of the, a fan of any of the teams.

I ended up being a fan of, I just ultimately live in this region and therefore became fans. I think when it comes to teams that are outside your zone or wherever you live, it's usually because of a family connection. Craig,

your dad is a Steelers fan, right? Mom. Your mom is a Steelers fan, so therefore you're a Steelers fan. I honestly don't think your kid, I don't think you force it on him, but he also doesn't have a choice. I don't think you force it,

but you're not exactly like dissuading them either. I think there's nothing better than rooting for a team with your parents. So, you know, I think you kind of, should nudge your child in that direction, and more so, you should particularly nudge them away from the teams you hate. That's almost more important. Like, my son is not going to be a Lakers fan. I'm just, even if I live in L.A., like, that's the real thing is if your son saw Debo Samuel, he's something cool on TV and he was like, I won a Debo jersey, like, you would not get him

a Dbo jersey. Right. Correct. I'm not going to let, I'm not going to let Calvin be a 49ers fan. You need to, like, you got to lie and say the Niners are a terrible organization and, you know, whatever you can do to dissuade your son in those young, in those young, formative years. It's like my mom when I was a kid told me that I was allergic to dark colored soda and that I didn't drink it. And to this day, I don't like it. Great trick. You know, whatever it takes. For Connor specifically, I wouldn't worry about Boulder because like Dion Sanders is not going to be a Colorado for very long. This kid won't have a member he's with Deon Sanders in Colorado. He's gone. If like, if like Bluey ever gets canceled, D.K., just tell Calvin that the San Francisco 49ers are

responsible for that. Wait, what did you do? Didn't you tell him once you just told him Paul Patrol broke? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Paul Patrol, terrible show. Awful, awful show. it gets him like riled up and wanting to do violence and things like is I hate that show so Bluey's like the best kid show ever but Paw Patrol is like a nightbentrol is the worst

and there is a just million toys for Paw Patrol everywhere every other person that I know has Paw Patrol toys you were in and dated with Pop Patrol and I just told him it was broken and he he bought it Debo Samuel would a dumb little kid yeah

Devo Samuel I hate that guy broke Paw Patrol we should definitely boycott the 49ers. But kids shows have these weird pockets where people know SpongeBob who watch SpongeBob and their parents but then no one below or above

like there's weird like I don't know anything about Bluey except literally through UDK but then kids and then your generation of parents will all know Bluey. Have you seen that clip of Jim Harbaugh talking about

how much he loves SpongeBob? No. Dude Harba is the weirdest guy ever. Harbaugh loves SpongeBob because he's like eternally positive and he like loves SpongeBob's mind that like every day he wakes up, happy as can be, like,

ready to attack the day? Who's got it better than SpongeBob? Harba. Harbaugh, do you know the scene from from Entourage where the agent guy runs into oh shit, the crazy guy? What's the crazy guy's name? Bucci, Gary Bucci. Oh, okay. You know, he runs into Gary Bucce on the beach. He's like,

Gary Bucce, I used to represent you. He's like, do you know who I am? He's like, I used to represent you. He's like, oh yeah, you're that gut maggot or whatever. And then Ari, Ari's like, you're going to spin off of this planet. I love it. Keep it up. Like every time I hear anything Jim Harbaugh says, I'm like, you're going to spit off of this planet.

I love it. Keep it up. He's like, I love that SpongeBob guy. He wakes up every day. Happiest can be. It doesn't matter what's going on his life. He tries to see the positive work hard. He's like Squidward. I don't like that guy.

Negative. Not into him. You're going to spin off this planet. I love it. And that would do anything to just sit there with Jim Harbaal, like observing Jim Harbaugh with like his children and grandchildren, like just watching like the Alaskan Bullworm episode of SpongeBob or just like, you got to stay away from the hooks.

That's true. There's a lot of hooks in life. You're a gutmagic. No guts. God. What are you talking about, Jim? Yeah, we'll see if we have a gut maggot award for 2024. Wow.

I believe anything about Harbaugh is in the Tyson zone. All right. Connor, good luck. All right. Next up, we have an email from Shane from Ireland. Shane. Uh, another way I can't pronounce. Did you saw the chief sign this guy, Louis, I think it's Lewis, Reese, Zammett?

I'm sorry, I'm butching it. Lewis is Reese. He's like this incredible rugby player. Rugby player, yeah. called LRZ. So, Shaney Mills in LRZ, Welsh, ex-professional rugby player, a quality one at that has signed as a receiver for the chiefs. Do you think here, any other international players have an impact as a playmaker?

Do you think there will be more international players getting selected in the coming years with more exposure to the NFL? And I was curious when you thought of this, D.K., we didn't talk about this with the kickoff, but the new kickoff, rules where like the kicker's where he was but now all the the the tackling team is like way closer and they have to it's going to be a touchback to the 30 they're going to I think eight out every 10 kickoffs they're hoping will be returned the chief side of this guy I think he's going to be a kick returner for them because I think they're going to turn all these kickoffs into rugby because

I forget who pointed this out but LR Z this guy can bait you know the Travis Kelsey play obviously you guys know but he did the lateral the lateral yeah I think that's going to be like every kickoff at this guy because he can throw a football left or right, like Kelsey did 25 yards, but he can do it mid-stride. And I feel like the spacing, they're going to have to be so disciplined that I kind of think there is going to be like a bunch of weird,

like two, like you used to do this in Madden, but two returners back and it's going to be like one Cadarious Tony and one rugby player. And I do think there's going to be like a lot of these. I think it's going to be a slow burn type of deal where, you know, it happened in the NBA, right? Over the years as the game grew internationally, you start to see more and more players come to the NBA from overseas.

And I think that probably will happen with football. I think we're at the very beginning of it. It's not going to be like every one of these rugby stars turns into an NFL player. I mean, we've, I think we've seen a bunch of, quote unquote, former superstars in rugby or whatever it is, come over to the NFL and most of them don't really pan out. But that doesn't mean none of them will. I think Jordan Milata. Wasn't he a rugby player? I believe so, yeah.

You know, because there's a different, there's different leagues that I don't know the details around. But he's a international player. I'm sure it's going to be a thing. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be just only grow in the future. Also, there's a bunch of international punters and kickers, you know, because of their skills growing up playing soccer or rugby or whatever. I do feel like the lateral is the next big innovation in the NFL. Like, I think that Tony Kelsey play that blew up our show last year,

I think stuff like that, the hook and ladder, is really innovative. and if done properly could change a lot. I think moving the ball around after the first completion and handing the ball off, I think if you can figure that out would change the game. I 100% agree.

It's like there's not really incentive for innovation, but that if coaches actually could take risks, that would be. Like, if I'm a good team or a really bad team, like if I'm the chiefs and I'm up 20 in the fourth, I'm running that shit.

And if I'm the Cardinals and I'm down 20 in the fourth, I'm running that shit. the one I keep thinking about also like big pick 50 years from now is like why didn't they Ravens just draft Anthony Richardson and like why don't they just run the option with Lamar and Anthony Richardson of two quarterbacks

and that's something that now seems insane but I do think the idea of like a quadruple option basically where it's like RPRPO of just like you have a run like oh throw it or hand it off and then Anthony Richardson could also throw it or keep running there's a million things like I still can't believe a quarterback

hasn't figured out there hasn't been a quarterback that can throw with both hands. I can't believe a quarterback, I can't believe a quarterback hasn't figured out how to punt that still blows my mind that Josh Allen can't be the punter for this team and change He can't do two things, Craig? Yeah, it's like, Rathusberger just did it like all the time. He would just punt. You're telling me Anthony Richardson can't punt. You know how the hard that would be if it's fourth and five and Anthony Richardson's back there to punt? It would change everything. He can't do two things. That's, it's a really good call, Craig, that like fourth and three

and then you eat everyone up. And then he's like, all right, shotgun, he just punts it. Yeah. Like, Rathusberger did that for like 10 years. I don't know why people aren't doing it. I really don't. Save a roster spot. By the way, Mila did play. He played rugby league in Australia previous to coming to the U.S.

and he entered the NFL through the international pathway program, which is where we see a lot of the international players come through. And he was a seventh round pick. Man, imagine that. What a gamble by the Eagles. Great job by them. I'm still mad at the kickers camp on either. Honestly. You can't do two things.

Don't even think about it. All right. Another one here. You want to do one on switching phantoms, Craig, or do you want someone who's really mad at you about what you put in your body? Let's do the second one. He's mad at me about the poppy?

Nope. Raw milk. Everyone's mad about it. This is from Redacted. Who's a confirmed doctor? Redacted. He's a confirmed doctor. Craig mentioned the other day's drinking raw milk.

Doctor redacted. I can't get into it. too many details because of hip-a, but I'm a doctor and a maternal fetal medicine specialist. I've seen moms and their babies get tough infections for raw milk, even to the point of death, bleeding out of every oerifice, including the eyes.

Frank, please, please, please, do not drink or discuss raw milk. I can't even discuss it? He's going full Will Smith on me? Keep raw milk out your mouth? He's saying, yeah, you're canceled for talking about raw milk.

What's this person's name? Redacted. They're a doctor. They're a real doctor. Well, I emailed back and forth with somebody who is a microbiologist, and he warned me against drinking raw milk. We actually corresponded back and forth. I sent him, again, I had it one time. I bought it as a one-off. I want to let everybody- Did you reply? Like, you should look into that? I'm not, I wasn't like planning on like only drinking raw milk for the rest of my life.

I bought it at an extremely nice grocery store, and I read the website of everything they do. They have a testing process to make sure that, like, the bacteria level is low. It's not like I just, like, milk to cow. in my backyard and it's like that's what I'm drinking. Just an influencer. Yeah. I understand there is risk involved. It's legal in many states.

So there's clearly a reason why it's legal in some states. I'm not drinking raw milk all the time so everybody can relax. And this microbiologist who I corresponded with was very nice about it. And he basically was like, I see what you're saying. This company where you bought it doesn't look that bad, but it's still a little opaque. If you're not feeling well, when you drink it, I wouldn't continue to drink it. And he had diarrhea twice. right after drinking it for the record.

I actually, when I had it the second time, I was perfectly fine. Don't drink it. How bad was that first time? Well, not bad enough to drink it again, apparently. It was honestly, like, it wasn't like I had an upset stomach. It was just like, like a laxative. So do with that what you will. Well, at least you had the right thing coming out of the right orifices or whatever.

Yeah, not blood out of the eyes. That's tough. if blood coming from your eyes is one of the potential side effects, I'm not doing that. But I'm flattered by everyone's concern, and I want to let everybody know on the record, I am not, and I was never planning on making raw milk a consistent part of my diet.

Why are you so into raw milk? Why? Yeah, dude, after hearing all this stuff, after hearing about the bleeding eyes, you still are not like, okay, I'm done. I am done. I told you, I tried it one time. I mean, the cart is in my fridge right now,

but I haven't had it since. it seems like you're being pretty defied about it. You're like, I'm not going to make it a regular part of my... Well, people are freaking out. They're like, Craig is going to die because he drinks raw milk for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'm like, dude, I had it one time. Craig's like, look, the raw motor oil, I get that it's bad for you. I mean, I'm not going to like give it up, but I'll just be really all, every once in a while I'll drink it.

No pain, no gain. You know, Andy Benoit, who is the writer at SI who actually works for Sean McVeigh, who talked about who he'd chug like a half gallon of milk in the parking lot. Yeah, to like, hide it from his girlfriend. Yeah. How do all the doctors at home feel about raw eggs? Worked for Rocky. Did it? I think so.

It's a fictional movie. How dare you? Get my advice from winners. Also, Rocky won. I don't know what you're talking about. He lost in the first movie by, like, technicality, and then he won the next three movies. Did he have raw eggs in the other movies?

Oh, I'm sure he kept up in the raw eggs. He didn't have enough in the first. That's, yeah, that's the problem. He took down Ivan Drago. Come on. This email's from A-Con, and that is how you pronounce it. Okay. A-Con.

No, it's- A-T-N. It's A-T-N. He literally said pronounced A-Con, but with a T. He literally wrote it in the email. Yeah. Ac-O-T, so it's A-T-A-T. So it's A-T-A-N.

His name is E-Y-T-A-N. So it's A-T-O-I. All right. That's fine. That's not a big deal. A-T-on. We don't have to turn every one of these in. do a thing. I know. I'm tired of bullying you. Let's just move on. Yeah. Look.

I just saw the chance for you guys to be like, A-Con. I got really excited. Convict music. A-ton. Right. Well, he's going to get embarrassed. This emergency toilet paper situation happened to me at 11th grade. One night in May. Oh. I was heading to the beach to do a bonfire for Friends birthday. Doc Wiler for at Craig. Nice. That's like the only beach in LA that has like the built-in fire pits. My buddies and I stopped at the small fast food joint on the way. I got a double pastrami burger with a fried egg on top.

I'm assuming that's from Johnny's pastrami. So if I'm right, let me know, Aiton. On the way from dinner, I was having occasional feelings of dread in my stomach. Thank you, Acon, for the email. My stomach going back and forth, having to go for a minute, and then all of a sudden the feeling disappears. We make it to the beach. And at this point, I'm sweating into breathing exercises to hold this in.

I hop out of the car. Beef batch, beat, I can't speak. Beach bathroom is locked. tough sharp my way to the porta potty why don't you jump in the ocean hold on that's coming i think okay because i agree just straight run to the ocean is what i'm doing so he says i then take a monster dump all of a sudden i realized that there's no toilet paper in this port of potty

luckily had a lot of napkins in my car from the takeout oh my lord my friends bring me the napkins that's nice but i did not have enough napkins He doesn't adhere to the five, five wipe only rule. Five blind wipes. Five blind wipes. Five blind wipes. My friends notice I actually have old leftover receipts from what I want to take out.

Oh my God. That's desperation right there. At that point, like, how much is it actually picking up and how much is it just smearing it around? It's a lateral move, I think. Diminishing returns on that. He says, I was not going to just run into the Pacific Ocean at night in May to clean off because one, it's freezing.

And two, the girl I'd been flirting with for a month at that point was there. And I had no chance of stealing the deal off. I took that route. Well, dude, come on. Give up that dream if this is happening to you. Fucking wait for another chance. Like, you cannot hear me out, though. Continue.

What are we talking about? He's going to still try after this? Hear me out, Aiton. Psycho. He could have ran into the ocean and been like cool, badass. I don't care how cold it is. Like, I'm taking a dip. Yeah, don't let everyone know.

Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? I'm going to take a midnight swim, secretly kind of evacuate your bowels, and then head back to the bonfire and warm your shorts. This is like the quarterback who can't just throw it out of bounds. I mean, live to play another down, fella. Just throw it away, fucking slide. I don't care. Like, just go home. At this point, go home.

What are we doing? What do we talk about next steps here? This is a disaster. You're not trying to get through this. It's been a long time, D.K., I think since you've been in the dating pool. That's why you can't understand this. Jesus. Yeah, you've been out here.

There's always tomorrow, fella. All right, we got an email from Sean. Sean. Sean. Wait, hold on. What was the end? He just, he had a... Oh, he burned...

He gave up on the girl and then burned the pants with his father. Oh, yeah. That's what you do. That was the move. He lit them on fire and burn them? I think so. Fire pits. I like that.

That's great. So he did exactly what I think he should have done. And the end of the email says, and my mom still doesn't know what happened. That's great. The dad and the son quietly take care of. of the issue. I love that. In the backyard. I listen's from Sean.

Sean. All your talk about wiping made me think back to when I was in high school. All your talk about wiping. But not too much talk about it. I know. Right? Me and my friends are having a conversation about wiping after you poop. The six of us were 50-50 on different styles. Standing versus sitting, folding versus wadding. And the standers were blown away that the sitters existed. And the folders were blown away that the waters existed. and vice versa. Learned a lot that day,

mainly that there's more than one way to crack an egg. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I had this revelation years ago with my friends where I learned that

there were people who stood up to white. And it blew my fucking brain. That's the minority way of doing it, right? Like in terms of pure numbers. I guess like in the United States. Sean here,

who emailed us, signed off on the email saying sincerely team stand and Wad, which are the two, I would not have picked those sides. I'm a sit and fold kind of guy. Wad is bad bad for the planet. I don't understand Wad. Like surface area is the name

of the game and the Wad is not getting you that. Dekis scratching. You're high up on the face with a scratch there, DK. You a Wad guy? Scratching my neck. Okay. Standing is just a lot of work. Get a bidet, everyone. It solves all this. Brings everyone together. Should we do a pole? Stand or sit? We could do, well,

we could do all four options. Yes. We could do stand and fold, stand and Wad, sit and fold, sit and one. It's like the Myers-Briggs thing. What personality type are you? I still love that, Craig, you said that Liz thought when you flush twice, it's, she didn't realize

it because there's so much paper. She thought there was just so much poop. Matter? Matter. Like, that's, I was like, what do you, who do you think I am? What do you think I'm eating? All right, we also, we talked a lot, but we're also about showing. We've been talking about poop. We didn't talk about

show me showering. Yeah, we had the shower power rankings last episode. Oh, yeah. I want to know the results of this. this question. Yeah. This is from a different Connor. Connor. Conbon.

So, D.K., you had passionately argued that the most important part of the shower is getting the priority number one. The crotchal region. The crotchal region. Crotch pot combo. Craig had passionately argued for armpits. So Connor says, I'm 100% with D.K. on the crotchal region cleaning being the most important part of the shower.

And I believe I'm uniquely qualified to weigh in here. Wow. A few years ago, I hiked from Mexico to Canada. Mexico to Canada. That's far. There's a country in between there and he, he hiked it. Which is along at 2,650-mile Pacific Crest Trail. Nice.

It's 2,600 miles. It took a little under four months for about 20 to 25 miles a day. That is one of the most impressive human feats I've ever heard of. That's wild. And in that time period, Connor, says, due to the lack of plumbing, I took about 10 real showers, not including like dunking and Lake River. In four months, two showers.

Yeah. My entire body felt like, what'd you say? You know when you like misspeak and you know the people at home are going to hear it, but you do. I didn't. Yeah. So you're like, I got to correct myself. Like a couple episodes ago, I said that C.D. Lamb was the best receiver in the draft

class he was in, but it was actually Justin Jefferson. I knew it was Justin Jefferson, but I, I didn't. I was like, it's not worth it for me to like cut everybody off and be like, it's actually, and then somebody tweeted me like, how did you not? How dare you, sir? No, it was Justin Jefferson. I'm like, ah, it's a real pickle as a podcaster. But anyway, I said two miles and I meant, I said two showers instead of 10, it's 10.

I'm sorry. Thank you for that. I would clear that up. Took 10 showers. This is obviously my entire body smelled, but nothing can compare to the smell of the crotchal region neglected of soap and water. Right. Right.

I could go to more detail, but thinking about the smell is too traumatic. The thing that I failed to talk about, and I was mad at myself for not really bringing this up, is, Craig, do you still hold that opinion? And would you stick to it hard if you knew that there was going to be some copulation happening later that day? Oh. I think it's a fair question. In that scenario, Crossville region jumps up the board to first off the board. Yeah. Here's my, so I think what Connor's email is perfectly valid.

if you're taking 10 showers in four months, I get that. Yeah, yeah. My argument, I think what Ben was saying to is like, on a daily standpoint from a daily standpoint, every single day, if you could only wash something that day, but you shower every day like most people, I think do.

I'm doing the pits. Actually, by the way, most people definitely don't shower every day. I think that's a misconception. I do for the record, but I don't think most people shower every day. Okay, even every other day. A lot of people don't, I should say. I'm just saying on a day-to-day basis, I think the armpit is the most important because it's the, it's the easiest to give off smell to people around you. Yeah.

You know, if you miss a day showering and, you know, even with deodorant, you could sometimes be sitting next to somebody at work and it's like, uh-oh, I think I kind of smell. Yeah, that's true. If you miss the cross-a region and it's just water one day, you got underwear, you got pants on it, I feel like you can hide that for much longer. 10 showers in four months? Crotch, I understand. We have proof of this. It's really hard to re-wear a shirt if you've been sweaty, but it's pretty fine to re-wear jeans.

Yeah, well, not underwear. Not underwear. No, not underwear. But the shirt is touching the body. All right. All right. That's not, well, yeah, I guess you're right. So what was the...

Do we get like a sense of what the results were high fits in terms of overall volume? Well, it seemed to me like two-thirds sided with DK, one-third. sided with me. Yeah. Luckily, you're a lot of shower more than what of your body. Hoping and or knowing

they're going to be bump and ugly later. If you smell bad right now, like let's say you just played basketball and you had to go to dinner tonight with some friends and you could only wash

the crotch or the pits. What are you doing? Well, the crotch because I can put on deodorant. Okay. I guess, I guess like if in that specific narrow scenario,

if I'm not. That's normal life. People work out. They go home. They shower. where they go to work. Well, here's... Yeah, and then they make sweet, sweet love to their partner, right?

Every morning. But on this note, you guys are having this hypothetical conversation about, like, obviously, one or the other. It's like, well, obviously, you could just do both in the shower. Right. But we got other email. You can only do one from now on. That's the rule.

No, but this is from... I'm sorry, forget your name, but you're a hero. Rodin, the fact that D.K. and Craig thought Highfitz was booji, boogie for using a detachable shower handle here is wild. I now assume that they both about... face, bend over and spread their cheeks to the fixed showerhead for minimal water pressure. And it's definitely better to reach these areas you're talking about that you want flushed quicker than spinning in a circle hoping the falling water rinses the suds off you.

What kind of low water pressure are you dealing with? I feel like I have enough water pressure to rinse myself of water. A detachable shower handle that you can like use all over. It's like $23 at Amazon. I recognize that. I mean, look, I've gone to Europe. I have used these. I think they suck.

I hate that. I don't know. It's one of those things where it's like... What do you mean? What sucks? The detachable water spout. It's not a second one. It's the primary.

You can just pick it off. I thought it was a second one. It's like a cordless phone. No, it's like so you can do both. I think I know fine. Yeah, it's like if that second one was the only one, that second one's on the wall where yours is. Yeah.

And like it's one. It's like a cordless phone. Yeah. And I would leave the cordless phone in its thing. I don't like, I don't like the, like taking it off and spraying it all around. That's weird. No, no, you're doing it around your head right now. That's not what we're talking about.

We're talking about the end with the things that are upside down, you know? I'm with high. You're really taking advantage of the shower. Like, you really want to get in there, is what you're saying. I'm with high of it. I don't know either way. I originally called you bougie because I thought you said that you had a second shower head that was maneuverable. But just the one shower head that's maneuverable, it makes total sense you made.

It's $24 and you have a screwdriver. I don't think it's boozy. I just think it's, I don't like it as much. But that's just because I grew up not doing that ever. And my first experience I was like in Europe and I just really don't like their shower situation at all.

You know the showers that I hate? You know the ones when you're in a hotel and I apologize if anybody at home has this? The showers that come from the ceiling. The drain or the spout from the ceiling is awful. The rain showers. It's just raining. Because you can't get in anything,

you can't even get your armpit. You have to like, you need a focal point. Yeah. You got to turn into fucking Neo from the Matrix just to wash your armpits. I can't believe those exist. Right.

I agree with that. That's like an idea someone came up with like, at a boardroom, but like they never, you know what I mean? It like looks cool. Like when you see the photo on Zillow, you're like, wow, nice bathroom. And then when you take the shower, you're like, I can't watch. You just got like a film of my head soap on you for the rest of the day.

I think this is going to be my Christmas gift to both you. I'm going to send you guys like really nice shower heads to swap in for your wall mounted once. I will not be using that. I'll accept that. I think you say that, but then when you try it. So do you have one setting? You can't even change the setting on how the water comes out? I have the best shower in America.

I bought a piece of shit house I bought a 100 year old house By the way this is the 100th year of my house Built it 1924 And the only thing I liked about it when I bought it Was the water pressure was incredible Because there's one bathroom, one shower And I'm like, I can live here

Everything else could be crappy And as long as the shower pressure is like this Like I'm keeping it I'm not changing that fucking showerhead ever I don't care What does that have to do with the water pressure? There's like all There's a whole bunch of different showerheads now

and this is probably like environmentally bad, but like we'll reduce like the shower pressure so you use less water. But I need that water pressure. I need it in my life. I think we should have an episode where we all admit like the one anti-eco friendly thing we love to do. Right.

Because everybody has one. For the record, I take like my showers are very fast. So I account for it. My building in D.C., they separate recycling garbage. And I saw one day I looked outside the truck. They put it in the same truck.

Put them in the same one. And I'm like, you know what? Now I just fucking. I'll throw out the cans. I'm like, what am I going to do? This is all. Terrible. I felt terrible.

You're not doing your part, Hefitz. I felt so. I felt like the big lie. Like, just it all like, I couldn't believe. I felt like such a sheep when they just put them in the same thing. I had the exact same experience,

Hyfitz. When I lived in New York, I worked on that show and Brackable Kimmy Schmidt as a PA. And at night, we had to like, you know, bunch up the recycling and the, in the non-recycling and wait for the people to come and throw it in the trash. I had like a really late day of work.

And I saw the guy take the recycling bag and the non-recycling and dump them into the same bed of the truck. And I was like, what the fuck? Have you seen those? I found one of these in real life a few weeks ago. Have you seen those garbage cans where in theory it's supposed to be three bags, garbage compost recycling? And it's just three holes all going into one bag.

And it turns out three holes for the same thing because they don't want you to get in the habit of it, but they can't actually do it. And I saw one the other day. I was like, oh my God. This is all going to the same place. Anyway. All right. So email to ring of fantasy football at gmail.com.

If you have more questions, question about the draft. Low-stakes conspiracy theories. Questions about showers. Questions about all the other things. I don't want your shower. I appreciate the thought. Stand or sit. Water.

Fold. Also football. Email's about teams. Water fold. Boom. Yeah. Thank you everyone for listening. Thank you, D.K.

Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode. Thank you, Connor. Thank you, Rajuna. Thank you, Jack. Thank you, Kira. Thank you, Dan Comer for a ridiculous amount of research help. not just with the draft guide

NFL draft.3.com, but also showering. You know, Dan Comer, you know, really well-showered, man. Well-showered. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you, Outcast. Thought you were going to go on A-Con. I thought it was finally A-Con day. I've said that recently, I feel like, though.

Oh, did you? Yeah, you're right. Outcast is so good, though. I love Outcast. Hell yeah. It's like A-Con with a T. I thought... What did you think that meant? I thought if it was like spelled, like Acon with the T, that would be right.

But I obviously that that was, I, I think I confused the word spelled and pronounced. I think I have like a problem. No, no. I do feel like more like Charlie from it. It's always sunny every time I do the show. The irony is we all do it a lot, but you just do it a little more like publicly and. Yeah, when Solickewarm appreciate in every episode, no one's like, who, who. What's your guys favorite Outcast song?

Mine is, uh, so fresh, so clean, I think. I think specifically your armpits only yeah I sing it every time I shower yeah I think I is it is it I you know what it's probably really basic to say Miss Jackson or Bobb but like I'm a basic person and it's fine so I'm going to say great song to Bob no shame and hey uh yeah yeah roses it's all good roses mowoo yeah that's right

Alcast they would say the term like no skips like they actually have multiple no skips albums also wait did you see that that album he just put out, like Andre 3,000, the album he just came out, the song names on the album. No. He just put out, like, once last time Andre 3,000 had music, like 15 years ago. And then

he released this album where it was like just like a jazz flute, like he was Ron Burgundy with no rapping whatsoever. Nice. Did you see this? No, I'm looking at it now, though. Andre 3000 digs jazz. Look at the names of the songs on the album. Wait, what's the name of the album? Oh, no,

no, it's called New Blue Sun. Look at the names of the tracks on this album. Interesting. They're all like full sentences. They're full sentences. The opening songs, I swear I really wanted to make a rap album, but this is literally the way the wind blew me this time. That's the name of the first song.

Phrasing. The third song is that night in Hawaii when I turned into a panther and started making these low-register purring tones that I couldn't. I don't even know what it is. It goes off the other Spotify. It's provocative. gets the people going. All right. Well, D.K., you're a jazz guy. Check that out.

All right. Boom. Thanks. And Andre and Stan Gats. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fandall's offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino, LLC. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-Gand-G&Colm, or visit fandle.com.

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