The Ringer NFL Show - Draft Needs for Every AFC Team (Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon). Plus, Two IPAs and a Lie.

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

The guys take a look at draft needs for every AFC team! They take some inspiration from the “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” game and discuss how far each team is from the Philadelphia Eagles. Plus, emails! (00:00) Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon: AFC Edition (3:20) One Degree: Kansas City Chiefs, Buffalo Bills, Baltimore Ravens (21:20) Two Degrees: Houston Texans, Los Angeles Chargers, Denver Broncos (34:00) Three Degrees: Cincinnati Bengals, Miami Dolphins, Pittsburgh Steelers (45:19) Four Degrees: New York Jets, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars (54:43) Five or More Degrees: New England Patriots, Las Vegas Raiders, Tennessee Titans, Cleveland Browns (01:08:52) Emails! Check out our 2025 Ringer NFL Draft Guide here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producers: Kai Grady and Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the brand new Zach Lowe show. That's right. I'm back to have the same in-depth NBA conversations you're used to. We're going to talk about the games. Yeah, the games, the X's and O's, the drama, the trades, the playoffs are coming up. And now you get to see every episode in full on video on Spotify and on my own YouTube channel. Episodes drop every Monday and Thursday with a collection of guests you're going to love. So make sure you follow and subscribe to the brand new Zach Lowe show.

on Spotify or wherever you watch or listen to your podcast. Let's go. Welcome to the rear NFL draft show. My name is Dana Heifaxon. I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlebeck. Today we are going over what every team in the NFL draft needs in the

AFC. No. Every team in the AFC needs in the NFL draft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to keep that in. It's fine. Doesn't matter. We're going through what every team in the AFC needs and we're doing a very specific way. Let's see how my sentences I can string together now without messing it up. We're doing it every team in terms of how

far they away from being the Philadelphia Eagles. Because the Philadelphia Eagles just rocked everyone's world and late at night and all these draft boards. Their teams are like, you know what? We could be the Eagles. So we're actually just going to rank all the teams from how far away they are from the Eagles, right, D.K.? Yeah, six degrees of Kevin Bacon style, basically. And we're doing degrees on this show, aren't we? Are we getting rid of the point system?

The last episode, I've come around on the point system. God, no. I think it makes sense. Craig. Also, somebody tweeted us or emailed us, Kevin Bacon from Philadelphia. Philadelphia. No way. Yeah, perfect. That's a classic Kevin Bacon. Well, Craig, will you explain the degrees point system since you've come around?

Well, sure. But something you don't want to. Well, I actually already don't get it. A degree equals a point. We're going to add up all the position groups on the team. And if it's, it can either be a point if they're set, a half point if the position group is okay. And zero points if the position group is a disaster. Yeah, with the premise being that everyone wants to be the Eagles, all right, cool. We'll get a Jalen Hertz and get like a skill group that has Sequin and H.

Brown and Devante Smith and the best offensive line and the best defensive line and a great secondary linebacker group and also have the best GM and like the best coordinators. And also Sireani. And Nick Saryani is also there. And whatever Nick Siriani is. Whatever Nick Sireani is doing. So how close you're just having the best of the thing?

And wow, a lot of teams far away. So we did this at the NFC in the previous episode and we're going to go through. I'm going to go through with the team needs and D.K.'s going to give like some players that make sense for these teams based on where they're picking and what they need. DK's big board is at NFLdraft.orghum. So are my team needs. We can go.

You can check out what you think your team needs there at infledraft. orgiaf.org. I want to, and also later we're going to do, we got some emails. We got IPAs and a lie because that was inspiring. I can't wait for that. What was it two IPAs and a Navy call sign?

Is that what we're doing? No, it's just two IPAs and lie. We're doing two IPAs and a real Navy call sign. Make that the next one. Emails to bring your fantasy football at gmail.com for two IPAs and a Navy call sign. I like the same of that. I like that. Okay.

So we're going to go through and again. These are teams that are six degrees. How far away are you from the Philadelphia Eagles? And I'm going to start with the Kansas City Chiefs, which feels wrong because they got the shit kicked out of them. But they're the reason we're doing this whole thing. So I kind of wanted to start with the Chiefs, to be honest. For a team that made the Super Bowl, they feel very far away from the Philadelphia Eagles. Putting the Chiefs one degree away felt ridiculous.

But I'm kind of leading a game away from a three-pe. What are we talking about? Of course they. Well, I know, I keep going back and forth between like, but what if they had just won that game? They're the best team ever. But they lost. So anyway, I wanted to just revisit a couple of stats from this game,

just to revisit how badly the Chiefs lost this game. In the first half of the Super Bowl, the Eagles had more points than the Chiefs had yards. That's tough. In the first half, the Chiefs average 29 inches per play. And in the first half, that seems like a lot, depending on. That's so, I mean, you know.

Mahomes had 33 passing yards to the Chiefs in the first half and 38 passing yards to the Eagles. Ugh. And the tectonic plate, and the reason I'm reading all these stats, is that cutting it off arbitrarily in the third quarter when it was like 40 to nothing. When the Chiefs were facing a four-man pass rush from the Eagles, they, across the season, they allowed a 14% pressure rate. So if you rush four defenders versus five offensive linemen, the Chiefs allowed a pressure about one out of every six times. in the Super Bowl it was more than half. Just a buzzsaw. The Eagles were an absolute buzzsaw.

So all that's to say, obviously, the Chiefs need the offensive line, and I would argue defensive line too. And I just wanted to, D.K., I wanted to talk to you about what the hell the Chief's plan is going to be an offensive line because I'm blown away that the Chiefs plan entering this offseason,

because they traded away Joe Tooney, who was their left tackle, left guard last season. The Chief's plan right now for the blind side of Patrick Mahomes is a left tackle who was the backup in San Francisco. So a left tackle that's never started six games, games in his season. And then the left guard's going to be Kingsley, Suamataya, who's never played guard before. That's their plan right now.

Is there an arrogance to that? Because what was their option to give Dan Moore $50 million, I guess trade for Laramie Tunsell? What really was their best course of action here other than make a move like this, bet on a guy that you think might be better than anybody else thinks? And then you go after another tackle in the draft. I would have thought about Laramie Tunsell. Yeah, it's easier said than done. But I mean, Would you rather, I mean, Jalen Moore got $15 million a year from them. And again, he's a backup. He hasn't started more than five games.

He's a fifth round pick three years ago. But so would you have been happier if they gave Dan Moore $50 million? I understand the tonsill trade was rich, but I guess I'm saying, looking at the draft where I'm like, I know that they're not necessarily done, but they have to come out of this draft with an offensive lineman that might be able to play. Yeah. I mean, long turn, obviously, but I also kind of think you want someone this year, but D.K., the the chiefs are picking 31st.

What is a realistic offensive lineman that Chiefs could get at the 31st pick? Well, it just depends on how far a guy like Josh Simmons potentially falls because he's coming off of a major knee injury. There's a slight chance he could be there at that point just because he had a pretty major knee injury. I think Josh Connerley from Oregon is a realistic option there. Who would you want? If you were the Chiefs GM and you got to pick your perfect scenario

of a guy falling to 31 who is the guy you want to fall? Out of those two or out of everyone? Out of everyone. I mean, my highest-strank tackle, which... No, I don't want. What I'm talking about? I mean, it would be great, I think, if Simmons fell to them, of course, because I think he is a top 15 talent,

but there's just a question of whether he will go that high because he's coming off an injury, just doesn't have a ton of experience. So I think I would pick him. I think Josh Connolly is also a really good option. He plays with light feet. Got some power. He's a former five-star guy.

I think there's a ton of potential, a ton of upside there. So I think those are the two that I'm looking at. I think there's a slight chance Kelvin Banks falls. It's kind of weird because tackles usually don't fall. But, you know, I feel like this is kind of a weird draft. There's a lot of edge guys.

There's a lot of offensive linemen. The order that these offensive linemen go probably isn't what we think it's going to be. So Kelvin Banks from Texas, I guess, is another potential option there. but I think just overall talking about what you guys were you know discussing with the chiefs this just kind of feels to me like par for the course for the chiefs because they've had they've had Mahomes they feel that they can kind of like piece cobble together like an offensive line and kind of get away with it over the years

there's an arrogance to what they're doing it feels like but also I feel like good teams don't overpay for mediocre players so to me it would have felt weird if the chiefs like gave Dan more $50 million or overspent on a Laramie tonsil maybe and it feels like The arrogance of them kind of being in the mix every year is like, all right, we get Jalen Moore. If it doesn't work out, he's a swing tackle. We feel like we can get somebody in the draft who we can make work. And like that's their mindset going into this.

You know what I mean? Yeah, and you're right, Craig. I guess I should probably tweak it to be curious, not judge metal you hate when I quote Ted Lassow. But like, I guess it's less. I didn't even know that was Ted Lassow. Well, that's why I have to remind you to bring it up. But the, I guess it's less, that's a bad plan and more if it was August, this plan is not good enough. You can't just count on Kingsley, Sue.

Again, Kings and Sue Mataya started three games for the Chiefs last year, got benched twice. So now they're going to move him to guard. I'm not sure if he's ever played guard at a level. So again, and you don't want to force that pick. But yeah, and they also need defensive line too. So to DK's point, if the offensive linemen are gone, they could take a defensive tackle. So they need a lot of help. I mean, other than Chris Jones and George Goloftus, the Chiefs don't have defensive

linemen that can win one-on-one right now. Can I have to really stupid 3 a.m. We're drunk at the bar, hypothetical question? Please do. would you trade Patrick Mahomes to the Eagles for the entire Eagles roster? That's a sick question. If you're Andy Reid, Brett Veach, would you take the entire Eagles roster for Patrick Mahomes? Do you get Jalen Harts is included?

You get everybody on the Eagles. Anyone you want, essentially. You can pick as many Eagles as you want for Patrick Mahomes. I wouldn't. Because it's stupid, first of all. And number two, there's a amazing question. Craig, there were one game away from a three peep. What are we doing here?

DK, it's three. It's 3 a.m. We've had 12 Fuck Your Mother IPAs and we're having a fun hypothetical conversation. We've had four Iceman IPAs. Yeah.

Yeah. What do we think? No. You can have as many Eagles as you want. Again, there were one game away from a three Pete. Okay. I just want to put it out there.

Yeah. I kind of, I can see it. I don't think you should, but. Have one more. It's a team game. Yeah.

Have one more like torn meniscus double IPA and you'll kind of come. I was going to say, because here's thing, if Mahomes gets hurt, then you're like, damn, could have just been the Eagles? Yeah. What's the other thing? What Eagles fans trade the entire team for Patrick Mahomes? I think, do the Bill Simmons rule of who says no faster? They both say no really quickly.

That means Patrick Mahomes is not worth any amount of players in the league. That's probably like a good sell high on Mahomes. It's probably a good sell high. I'll just take the entire. Super Bowl team. The only other thing I want to note with the Chiefs, D.K. I'm curious if you, like, let's say they take a tackle. I'm curious what running back you think would match with them.

You can pick a round, whatever. But I just want to point out, again, not to overdue the Super Bowl. But Isaiah Pacheco had one rushing yard at halftime and Cream Hunt had two. This is probably one of the four worst backfields in the league right there with the Raiders in Dallas. What is like a running back pairing you want within reason? I mean, I've always liked trivia on Henderson with the Chiefs just because. of how good he is in the passing game, how explosive he is.

Yeah, the big play potential. I think you can find a suitable, like, early down runner, kind of like Pacheco was, like later in the draft. Like, they found him. I think he was the seventh runner or an undrafted free agent, you know, a guy that's just going to run really hard and break tackles. You can find that guy, but he, but Trayvon Henderson is so, he's so good in pass, bro, so good in the passing game,

really good in the screen game. I just think he would add an element. to that offense. And Andy Reed has always been good at getting the running backs involved in the passing game. So I just think that that type of guy would fit perfectly. Okay. Another team that's one degree away from the Philadelphia Eagles that are Kevin Bacon game here, I have the Buffalo Bills, who probably are actually closer to the Chiefs,

but I wanted to start with the Chiefs because they got crushed. But the Bills, again, I think they're one degree away, and I look at it as, you know, you can quibble with the receivers, but they're one of the few teams that doesn't really need to add to the offensive line. I look at the Bills' needs in terms of this draft is they actually have a very similar situation at edge rusher and defensive tackle and cornerback, which is at all three positions, they have a guy who's an awesome veteran in his prime, signed a long-term contract, and another guy who's like of old veteran stopgap on a one-year deal. And so like edge rusher,

they have Greg Rousseau, but they also have Joey Bosa, who is on a one-year deal and like going to get hurt at some point. Defense to tackle, they have Ed Oliver, but then they have like Deacon Jones who's like 33. Cornerback, they have Christian Benford, who they just signed, and is amazing. And then you have like Dane Jackson, who's just on a one-year deal. So I think They aren't at best player available situation, but at defensive tackle or cornerback or edge rusher, which is a good spot. DK, who do you think would probably be the best fit for the bills?

I mean, there's so many edge guys near the end of the first, and also during, in the end of the second round. So they have two second round picks and a first round pick. I think it's going to be really interesting to see kind of like what the combination they do here, whether it's like a corner in the first, an edge in the second or an edge in the first, a corner in the second. I think there's a lot of different scenarios

that they could do there. I was just kind of looking at their second rounder. Guys like Nick Scorton from Texas A&M, princely, Uman Meelan from Old Miss kind of intrigued me there in that that second round, the middle of second round range. And then Chavon Ravelle from East Carolina is another guy that he's coming off an injury,

but really tall, really long, extremely explosive athlete, but just again, coming off of a season inning knee injury. And then the other corner that I had in mind there, that kind of just like super feisty, kind of can play inside or outside Maxwell Harrison from Kentucky.

So that was just kind of looking at that second round area where they've got, didn't they have two second rounders? Yeah, 56 and 62. So that's a spot where they could probably find two starters. And the receiver core is all, it's weird for a team that took a first round pick at receiver last year in Keon Coleman, where you're like,

Bill's got to still need a receiver though. It feels like they're one guy away on offense and defense from winning the super. It feels like it's like they have a lot of great pieces. They need like one stud on offense and one more stud on defense. I mean, the receivers, they lost Matt Collins. Amari Cooper is a free agent. So it's like, and they brought in Josh Palmer, my guy.

But it's like, you have Khalil Shakir, you have Josh Palmer, you have Keon Coleman, the two tight ends. You know, Kincaid hasn't really worked out. You have a running back in James Cook. It's like, do you guys think that there is a missing piece on offense or do you think it's okay? I think there's a missing piece. I mean, I think they don't have a true number one. But do you think that matters? I think it does matter

I mean they were probably more dangerous when they had digs right yeah I mean you say so well offensively I think you would say it's probably similar and what they've done each year but they're kind of doing what the chiefs did

I think a little bit and they have a superhero quarterback so they don't feel the need to like have the whole is greater than the some of these parts type of thing right I think the bills it's a cliche at this point to say you know the past catchers are kind of like a basketball team but the bills are like a really well-built basketball team

where everyone's guys like diving for rebounds and like, you know, getting like hustle boards and stuff. But the bills, I think the real question is, but who gets the bucket at the end of the game? It's like third and ten. Yes. I think they want Kean Coleman to be that guy. I would like Kean Coleman to be that guy too.

And I think that the bills are at the end of the day, how many times have we talked about draft? Like you kind of look back at all the teams that were Super Bowl champions. You're like, oh, they hit a couple drafts. And I think the difference in the bill is making it or not is just swung and missing Kiyer Elam, the cornerback. And Dalton Kincaid has obviously not become what they wanted it to be at tight end. And then Keon Coleman.

And it's like if you miss those three picks, if Kean Coleman doesn't actually become at least the number two receiver, I, he needs to be reliable. We'll see. I mean, you're one of your two. Is it over for Dalton Kincaid? I mean, sometimes tight ends take a while to develop. He's only coming into year three right now. I was going to say, we're not giving up on Kincaid. But at the end of the day, I think that was a pick that where they had more.

cope or hope that he would help immediately in a way that just tight ends just, it's kind of silly to bank on them helping immediately. So we'll see. But also, if you're like a receiver tight end and you can't block, then you're just kind of a receiver. And I think that they talked themselves into a whole way of playing football.

Anyway, another team that the only other team I think of the AFC that's one degree away is the Ravens. Similar to the bills. It's probably they're this low on the list, I guess. What's up? Well, they're not that low. They're in the one degree away bucket.

I know. I would have mentioned them probably first, but that's okay. Well, I would have too, but they didn't lose to the Eagles in the Super Bowl. So I mentioned them third. They also didn't make the conference title games. They lost to the bills. So I already are perfectly right. You fact-checked me and it's fine. I agree.

That's rare these days you hear that from somebody on a microphone. It's actually just short-term pain for long-term game. But the Ravens need a left guard, but honestly, everything else is just, it's similar to the bills to me. It's just best player on defense. Ravens could use past rushers to defensive tackles or a cornerback or a safety. And they need a lot of secondary help. But honestly, the Ravens could do whatever. So it's weird for me to be like, pick a player, DK.

But I'm going to make you pick a cornerback because a lot of teams I think really need a defensive lineman. And I'm curious who you think if the Ravens are, like every year, it's like, oh, my God, how do we let this guy go to the Ravens? Who is the guy this guy this guy? Who is the guy this guy? Oh, my God, I can't believe we'll let this guy go to the Ravens. Wait, you want me to pick a corner or just any player? Any player. It doesn't have to be a cornerback.

Just the guy where you're like, oh, my God. how do we let that happen? But Hypois would like it to be a cornerback. I would prefer it's not like a must. So if you could find a cornerback. Asariah Thomas from Florida State, kind of I think maybe fits the mold of their type of guy in terms of just length,

athleticism, ball skills. Trey Amos from Ole Miss, another guy that I really like. I think he's risen a lot lately. And then Derek Harmon was a guy that I kind of had circled here, defensive tackle out of Oregon, who was one of the most disruptive interior defensive alignment

in college football last year. He's big, long, like six four, six five, shoots gaps, good athlete. I think he's really interesting for them as well. And he's the type of guy who, you know, you look back in a few years and you're like, oh, how the hell did he, how did a really good athlete who's six, five with really long arms fall that far? Yeah, I've seen mock draft where Derek Karmat goes to the Ravens. And I don't understand why Derek Karmat isn't a top 20 pick. I think it's a little bit like he's a bit of a one-year guy in terms of he went to Oregon and then really broke out.

But I don't know. I really like him, though. Do you guys think they need to address the offense a little bit here, specifically in the skill position group, past catchers is what I'm really getting at. The last two seasons have basically, the last two seasons have basically ended because of Bonehead plays from their past catchers.

It was Zay Flowers fumbling into the end zone and Mark Andrews. And so this is like year seven of Lamar Jackson, and has he ever had an above average pass catching crew? This year he's now going to have once again Mark Andrews and Isaiah likely, he's going to have Zayflowers. And like the Rashad Bateman and then the veteran, they always bring in a couple years ago, Zad L. Beckham.

Now it's DeAndre Hopkins. Like, don't you think they need somebody else who is reliable when the game is on the line? In a perfect world, sure. But like with a top, with one of their first two picks, I think it could be a mistake because at the end of the day, Zayflowers is a first run pick. And Rashad Bateman was a first run pick. And I will say, I think Rashad Bateman actually played better toward the end of last season than he had played in a long time.

So if Bateman's trending up, and that was a guy you took, I mean, they both were taken. in the 20s. They also took Hollywood Brad in the first round a couple years back. Yeah, like they've tried. They've tried. It's just kind of funny

how it hasn't really ever worked out for them. Not to say that they won't try again, but. And they have Derek Henry. I don't think this is a team that needs offense. I think they probably need

offensive line depth. But I look at the Ravens and I'm like, I think they need defense because they honestly, the defense was bad in the first half of the season. It only turned around

because Ardarius, Washington, who was like, five, nine, got moved to like strong safety. So Kyle Hamilton could play free safety. But they,

The Ravens, I mean, they lost four cornerbacks. And the Ravens have a motto that's like, you can never have enough cornerbacks. Washington is 5-8-180. 5-8-1-8. He's playing strong safety. Like that, and it was kind of an accident, like that it ended up happening. So I think defensive bat, they don't have first-round pictures floating around like they do. The other guy that I circled for them is Tyler Booker, the guard from Alabama, who's just an absolute unit, just moves dudes.

He was one of the worst testers at the combine, so he might fall out of the first round. There's a chance he does. but I think from everything you heard, and Todd McShay was talking about this on his, on his podcast too. Everybody was absolutely just blown away by Tyler Booker at the Combine in terms of the interviews. This is,

so I don't know what to make of the Combine, because he tested really, really poorly, but he blew everyone away. Do you think he was prepping for the interviews? Maybe. He's like, I didn't have time to work out. But he was like one of the worst testers in, of all the linemen,

and that's obviously like a low bar. If you were like a really good guard, wouldn't party you want to, to blow the testing and just go to like five good teams that could win the Super Bowl. Like the Ravens. Right. Yeah, I'll just blow it and like, can I play for you guys? You got to thread the needle though, because then if you, if you blow it and you fall out of

the first round and then you're like back to the beginning in the early second, then you could go to a shitty team. Kind of like Orlando Brown did. Do you think he knew that physically he wasn't, you know, I was gifted as the other guy, so he really focused on like just having the killer personality. Yeah. He's like he's really funny. It's fun and itch.

5, 540, but man, that guy's got some jicks. Man, that guy's a vibe. All right. Teams that are two degrees away. I have the Texans here. Texans, I mean, they need offense, everything around Stroud. I think the defense played awesome. We saw that versus the Chiefs and the charges in the playoffs. But the offense, I mean, the offensive league basically blew up their offensive line.

DiMiko Ryans is out here. There's headlines that say, Demiqo Ryans, no, what was it? No turmoil in offensive line. Like, D'Amico Ryans denies that there was turmoil and offensive line. Put it in the newspaper that we had turmoil on our offensive line. Offensive line. And then receiver, I did he receiver two because Diggs is gone and then Tankdale, I don't think is playing this year in any serious capacity. But overall, DK, this is another team.

Like the Texans right now in the first round, they are picking. Oh, wow. Sorry, they have they have picked 25, 58. Yeah, 25 and 58. Is it fine to just take a quote, quote, tackle that they're going to play at guard at 25? I think so. And that's, again, this is kind of like the story of this draft. There's a lot of guys that are considered tackles.

some people think maybe they're better at guard. Calvin Banks from Texas is an interesting example of that. He's really athletic. I think he could fit what they wanted to do on offense. Josh Simmons, who I've mentioned a couple of times already on the show from Ohio State. Hard to kind of nail down how early he will go because the tape was really good. So this is Banks?

No, I'm talking about Josh Simmons from Ohio State. Like I said, just kind of hard to tell where he'll go because the tape is really good. He's really, you know, great athlete, good footwork, but he had a teller injury. And those are pretty hard to predict how serious that's going to be long. I feel like I can't take a first round. I can't take the 25th pick in the draft on a guy that was a really good prospect, but I don't think he was like a top five tackle prospect who now has a Patelit injury. Right.

What is the history of that being like an awesome? Right. I think that's what makes him so difficult. He could be anywhere from like middle of the first to fall into the second because of that injury. The guy who took over for him at left tackle after Simmons went out was Donovan Jackson from Ohio State. And he's another guy who I think would make a lot of sense for the Texans if they want a guy. who can come in and be guard and start right away. Be a guard and start right away for them.

He has the added bonus where I think he could play tackle in a pinch, but I think his best position is going to be at guard for them. So very good athlete, really high floor. So I think just offensive line would be the smart thing to do because I just don't really know exactly what they're doing with that offensive line. The Texans need to protect Stroud at all costs. Last year was a disaster. They had like the most third and longs in the league and all the other teams near them were terrible.

It was like the Browns, Giants, and then the Texans had the most third and longs. It always felt like Stroud was getting rushed out of the pocket and having to create. It was just always a mess. So they needed, I agree the receivers aren't great, but first round to me, you have to go offensive line. Yeah.

And they'll be able to. I think it's going to be, they're going to get someone, it should a matter of who. A team that's in a, I also have as two degrees away from being the Eagles, is the Chargers. I mean, the Chargers are a funny team to me

because I think that they have not necessarily similar needs, but I do think that they're probably going to end up looking at similar players to some of the Texans, but I look at the charges as needing, they need a left guard, but they did a good job

because if you want to be close to the Eagles, they signed Mackay Bechtin. McKay Bechtin was the right guard for the Eagles. Now he's a charger. So the charges are like halfway there to be in the Eagles.

They need defensive lines. They need defensive tackles. They need defensive pass rushers. Honestly, they need a tight end. Do you guys know the only tight ends on the charges roster right now are like... Conclin?

Yeah, it's Tyler Conklin and Will Disley. Those are the tight ends. If they don't make any additions at tight end this year, Tyler Conklin is going to be kind of an interesting fan. Yes, he will. He will be, Craig. Mark my words.

DK. I will mark them. They have been marked. Craig's marking them right now. So for this one, because again, so Jim Harbaugh went and already signed Najee Harris and Mackay Beckett, who were two recruits that he couldn't get at Michigan. Is Najee Harris going to play guard?

That might work. Dude, you put him at left guard. He could pull. So I went through when I, looked at every player in this class that Jim Harbaugh offered a scholarship to at Michigan. Wow. Whether they came or not. At the certain positions they need, like the five, six positions you think they go

first round. And so obviously someone to Michigan, Mason Graham, the defense attack you think won't be gone by then. But otherwise, guys that the Chargers did, Josiah Stewart, who's a pass rusher, who that could be a second round pick for Michigan. Kenneth Grant, the defensive tackle. What did Arbor say about him? God's gift of football.

Yeah, he was, yeah, exactly. Colston Loveland, a tight end. Who played for Harbaugh, who he loves? And then you other have these Ohio State linemen that you just mentioned, D.K., Donovan Jackson, and Josh Simmons, both got offered by Harbaugh and then went to Ohio State. And Tyler Booker, who you were just talking about, Mr. Gant's can't test, but is a great interview. And then there's also other guys, Josh Connolly Jr. at Oregon, Walter Nolan, defensive tackle. I, D.K., of those guys of this list, I'll send it to you right now, look at this list. Yeah.

Which do you guys think makes the most sense for the Chargers, the charges? the charges are picking 22nd. If all these guys were available, not Mason Graham, that doesn't count. If all these guys were available at 22, who do you think the charges should pick? Probably Loveland, I think,

would make a ton of sense for them just because keep adding to the offensive skill group around him, get a little bit of... Keep adding, how about just add? Sure. He's not like explosively fast, but he does offer a speed element that they still really need, I think.

Can I quick pause to just? what Craig's saying is that we've now done this three teams in a row. The Ravens were like, they need a skill group. They used a first-run pick at Zay Flowers and Rashad Bateman. The charges, they did just use first-round fix on Quentin Johnson and Ladd-McConkey, and we're like, man, they don't have anyone. Was it the second rounder?

Oh, yeah, all right, but 30, he used the 35th pick. But it was their second pick, right? Fair, fine. Either way, I think Quinn Johnson, I still don't think, he's more of like a role player. If they don't add a pass catcher in the first

two rounds. Fine. If you want to get a guy in the trenches in the first round, that's fine. If Kenneth Grant's there and you want to just clog up the defensive line with him, that makes sense. Harbaugh, the whole thing makes sense. But if they don't add a pass catcher in the first two rounds, I think Justin Herbert should file a grievance with the team for the workplace malpractice because this is getting ridiculous.

So, DK, you mentioned Colson Loveland. Our buddy Nate Tice wrote a great piece at Yahoo this week about Loveland versus Tyler Warren and he was addressing some of the things of like he was saying, he actually kind of thought Colson Loveland might be a more traditional inline blocking tight end than Tyler Warren and actually had an interesting point that Tyler Warren's cool ability to line up everywhere, the versatility of it versus

Colson Loveland kind of lining it more traditionally in a weird way almost makes Loveland maybe more versatile because he actually has the more like inline skill set and actually might be able to play. He's going to play off a blocker than Tyler Warren. Do you feel that way but Loveland? Would you be shocked at all if Loveland actually ends up being drafted a lot higher than Tyler Warren? Not a lot higher, but it wouldn't surprise me if he goes over Tyler Warren.

And I said this, I think, for the last couple of months. I think the hype on Warren is just like a little bit much for me. I really like him. I think he's really good. But when people are talking about him being the next like kiddle, I'm just a little bit like pump your brakes. That's just a hair thing. Yeah.

I think Loveland is, I remember watching him and being really impressed with how he blocks on the move in terms of like being outside on screenplays. He'll seal a guy off and run him into the sideline. Things like that. And he shows he shows flashes and I got to check out this article by Nate, but he definitely showed flashes of, being able to position himself square up and like sustain blocks in line.

And I think that's going to be massive at the next level. I like both of them. I have Warren just a little bit higher. And Warren is just, he's big. He's 6-6-260. And I think Loveland's a little bit smaller. He's not as filled out in terms of his frame and everything. But I think there's definitely a lot of people that like Loveland more.

And it wouldn't be a huge surprise to see him go a little bit earlier. He's definitely a little smoother of an athlete, whereas Warren's like a wild horse just kind of like running around, running dudes over, breaking tackles and kind of just doing a little bit of everything. So I think they're pretty different players. But yeah, I have Warren a little higher. It wouldn't surprise me too much to see Loveland go first though. Okay.

If anyone from Fandle is listening, please, maybe I would like to create a line here of one, just play over under on players from Michigan that Jim Harbaugh drafts at the Chargers. I also would like just will Harbaugh draft? Like how many players he offered a scholarship to will the charges draft? I would love the over-under. I think the over-under has to be one and a half for players that Harbaugh offered a scholarship to. There's a certain kind of coach that just loves bringing in dudes that he coached before in college. Or guys that had good games against him.

Coaches love bringing in those guys as well. Oh my God. Yeah, we got to get going on that too. That's not like your whole Najee Harris thing. You tried to recruit Najee. Oh, maybe he won't get the Ohio State guys actually. Yeah. Because Ohio State couldn't beat him.

Good point. 40 chess. They're losers. Yeah. The other team that's two degrees away, the Denver Broncos, they are the Tampa Bay Buccaneers of the AFC where you go through and you're like, oh, they don't actually need anything, honestly.

The Broncos need a running back. And beyond that, they could take whatever. They could go defensive line or offensive line. I think the Broncos need some quarterback debt. But the Broncos are like a weirdly well-rounded team. DK. Yeah. What is a running back you want to see?

on Denver. Omar and Hampton from North Carolina. He's like the most obvious pick for the Broncos. It makes a lot of sense. Do you think he because the Broncos had the 20th pick? Do you think he could fall to 20 Hampton? Is it likely that he's there, you think? I think it's possible for sure. Yeah. What about Gentie? Do you think Jentee could fall?

Boise State is Denver Bronco territory. You don't think so? I think it's unlikely Genties there. Pretty likely that Omar and Hampton is in that range, yeah. That would be sweet. I mean, I would argue that they also need a wide receiver. Maybe they could get by with this crew of like Cortland Sutton and they have Devon

Valet who was a good rookie last year, Marvin Mims, and then they brought in Evan Ingram as their tight end. Running back, it's the most clear need of, I think, of any team without a running back in the league, like maybe Dallas, but dude, last year they didn't have two running, they didn't even have two running backs combined for a thousand yards on Denver.

Like they are so desperate. It's actually remarkable how competent the Denver offense was considering what was going on with rookie Bo Nix, rookie valet, Cortland Sutton coming off an injury. Marvin Mims and then Joliel McLaughlin and Javante Williams. That team made the playoffs on offense. Yeah.

At the end of the day, I feel like I've said that three times this year. I'm going to ban at the end of the day. But I do think at the end of each season, the most underrated thing is how teams build the next season is how the previous one ended. The Broncos got the doors blown off them by the bills in the wildcard round. The time of possession in that loss, the bills at the ball for 42 minutes,

and the Broncos at the ball for 18 minutes. Do not forget that when they get bullied. And obviously the bills are a better team with a better quarterback. But I do think the Broncos and Sean Payton is going to want to stop, go back to like, we need to stop the run and we need to be able to run the ball. I don't know if he takes a running back on day one or day three. But I do think that's going to be the emphasis. And I don't know if the Broncos take a receiver.

I know a lot of people want them to, but I'm like, Sean Payton, when he has guys, he likes, I mean, this is a guy. It just rotates him anyway. Yeah. It's like the Broncos needed receivers two years ago. And instead he brought in guys we had never heard of. So, I mean, I think the running game is the emphasis of this draft because last year it was about Bo Nix. And they got Bo Nix to the point where he should have won rookie of the year in other seasons.

They should just take Maron Hampton in round one and Tess Johnson in the third or fourth round round and call it a day. That's the Oregon receiver, the little guy. Yeah, the 156 founder. Yeah. I feel like to take him in the sixth. I feel like the Broncos really will actually get Tiz Johnson. Yeah, he might be around for a while just because of his size. But he's good.

I really wish the Broncos born in the AFC West because. I would be all over them this year as like a huge leap team, but it's kind of terrifying considering who they have to play. I think the Broncos are a smart bet actually because of the divisional competition. I'm kind of, I'm pretty impressed by everything going on there. So I think, and again,

they can also just go best player available. They don't really have to do anything. Yeah. Hampton would be awesome. Like they need a running back and he's so cool. He would be perfect. He's really explosive. He breaks a ton of tackles.

He can carry a lot of volume. He's just like perfect in every way. Remember Mark Ingram for the Saints back in the day? The Ingram Camara combo, I think it was back in the day. Something like that. I could see them kind of trying to recreate that. Yeah, Julele McLaughlin can be his Darren Sproles. There we go.

All right, teams that are three degrees away from me, the Philadelphia Eagles. I have the Cincinnati Bengals here. Obviously, they brought Joe Burrow and Jamar Chase and Teagans, even Mike Gisickey back. And again, it's the beam of just the, you want to know if this is going to cripple their defense and chance for another Super Bowl window or do you want to watch Joe Burr hit some dingers? And it's like, dingers.

But yeah, Dickens. Socks some dingers. Songs some dingers. That should be the team. Just watch me sock some dingers. D.K., Bengals is the defense. They're also actively antagonizing Trey Hendrickson, which is so funny. Ben Baby, ESPN had this awesome story where owners meeting that basically, though,

basically the owner of the Cincinnati Bengals was like, yeah, Tray Hendrickson should be happy with this contract. I re offered him enough. I don't really know why he doesn't like the number we offered him. Yeah, players love to hear that. that. It's great. He had a really good answer. Coming from the school of Jerry Jones. Yeah, seriously.

I don't even know the name of his agent. Never heard of him. Trajixon's answer was actually really good. He was like, look, he had a really eloquent answer of like, I would have took this deal three years ago and two years ago one year ago, not my fault. And he was like, I look at it like houses on the street. Houses are going up, inflation going up.

I don't know if that's still true. It was like a week ago when he said it. And he's like, it's not my fault. Like that you haven't made me an offer in three years. So with that said, D.K. Bengals conanated defensive end? Yeah, they need an edge guy. Mikel Williams is one that I've definitely circled for them.

Shmar Stewart, Texas A&M. These are the two guys that have freakish athleticism, not quite as much production to back it up. And so there's a chance they could fall there to that range. 17 is where they're picking. And I think both of those guys have a pretty good floor, but then they offer tons of upside as like an elite pass rusher. So that makes a lot of sense to get one of them there.

Mike Green guy from Marshall is also an option. He's kind of the opposite. He has an incredible amount of production, but there's question marks over, you know, his level of competition, just overall size and length and all that stuff. So I think those are the three guys that I've circled for them, but, you know,

they're going to have the opportunity to take a really good defensive end or a really good defense tackle there. Or imagine how sick a third receiver can be, you know? Yeah, get another receiver. The cats on the wall. Just add technique mill to this offense. Yeah. Imagine that.

They wouldn't even need defense. It scores 60 points. Yeah. Best offense is good. Best defense, good offense. Right. Just keep adding receivers. That's what the Eagles would do.

Speaking of the Eagles, the other Bengals, they need a linebacker. Bengals fans are like, oh, who's going to play next to Logan Wilson, a linebacker? They signed Warren Berks. Guess what? Warren Berks was on the Eagles. Fixed. There we go. They might be now two degrees away from being the Eagles.

We should move them up. Other team, I couldn't, I had no way. I think this was actually, there were two teams that were very hard to give a number of how far away they were. Dolphins were really hard. I put them three degrees away, which I don't know. it feels like they should be four or two, and I couldn't figure it out. But so I put three.

But I feel like the dolphins. Okay. Well, I mean, that's my infallible thought process. Yeah. Don't need to tell people about two. Tyree Kill is upset. The edge rushers are awesome. Dolphins have no defensive tackles.

I think this is a team that still needs a guard because Leah Mykenberg is not it. They still, I mean, to run armstead, the left tackle retired this week. So then you have like Patrick Paul is going to be the left tackle, but I don't, I mean,

that's not. like a given. DK, let's say they need a tackle, whether it's an offensive tackle or a defensive tackle or an offensive tackle that becomes a guard. I feel like the dolphins, again, they need protein. Dolphins are picking kind of high. They have the 13th pick.

Who is a guy that you think the dolphins should grab at that spot? I mean, I think the dream for the dolphins is a scenario in which either Will Campbell or Armand Membue falls and is still there at 13, in which case I think they run to the podium, which is not, there's not actually a podium. So Will Campbell's, well, they're kind of, they just hand the, they just call in. Right. They just open their film really quickly.

That metaphor is kind of old and archaic, but that's fine. Just Will Campbell's T. Rex from L.C. You, right? I mean, they both, they both are like 33 inch arms. It's not T. Rex. It's just not, they're not freakishly long arm guys. I think the best offensive tackle that's available, that's who they got to take. They got to upgrade their offensive line.

Offensive line was just a massive problem for them last year. They have holes in a lot of different areas, but I think just in order to maintain their identity and do what they want to do on offense and protect Tua, this should be a priority number one. So if Will Campbell's arms are 30, well, they were measured at 33 inches at the road. I don't know, his arms got longer, whatever.

Let's go with the combine. Will Campbell's arms are 32 and a half. And if Membu's 33 inches, why aren't people worried about Membu being a guard? Why is it all we hear about Will Campbell, but we don't hear of that, but Membu being a guard? I don't know.

It's a good question. It's not fair. Are you worried about Membu being a tackle? No, and I'm not really worried about Campbell thing. That half inch makes a big difference, TK? I'm not worried about either of them to be on. I mean, I'm like maybe back my mind a little bit worried,

but I think they both move so well, and they're so athletic and quick that it'll be okay. Just have them hang from a pull-up bar for like a week straight. That'll add a new easy. Yeah. Membu also played right tackle primarily, whereas Campbell's left tackle. So maybe there's that difference.

People don't care quite as much. I don't really understand that, though, because especially for the dolphins, you need your right tackle to be really good to protect the quote-unquote blind side. So you got a left-handed quarterback. Maybe it makes sense for them. I think Mamba would be a steal for the dolphins. Yeah. That would be phenomenal.

Dolphins feel like they're going in the wrong direction. Yeah. They do feel like a little dolphin south. It just kind of feels like the experiment didn't work. I mean, Wrangles South. Yeah. Yeah. They're migrating.

They're just trying to keep the business afloat, you know. Yeah. Another team I have three degrees away is the Pittsburgh Steelers. So there you go, Craig. Dish it out you can take it. Craig, what's going on with Aaron Rogers these days? I think now, so Pat McAfee's doing a live show in Pittsburgh on the 9th, April 9th. And if there's ever a time that Aaron Rogers is going to take advantage of the limelight to announce his next move,

it's going to be with Pat McAfee's live on stage in Pittsburgh. I pay you a million fucking dollars a year. Can you please just wait to announce it at my live show? If it doesn't happen, then I don't think it's going to happen, honestly. I can't wait for Aaron Rogers to walk out to a state. It's in PPG in downtown Pittsburgh in the Penguins Hockey Arena. And I can't wait from to walk out to a crowd of like 35,000 people in Pittsburgh and be like, I can't wait to just put the team ahead of myself and get away from the media of New York

and just focus on winning as he just literally does it to a little stadium and just does a fake LeBron decision thing. Do you think he brings hats? Oh, you think he has like a Vikings hat? a giant's hat, a Steelers hat. I kind of wonder if he does. I kind of wonder if he does. A gender reveal thing. And then he has like a big wide green beach hat as like for retirement.

And he's holding the beach hat versus the Steelers hat. And he's like, he's like raising the beach hat. Everybody booze. He then raises the Steelers hat. Everybody cheers. He puts it on. I actually think that or a gender reveal is a perfect idea. The gender reveal with like black and yellow glitter.

You know, something like that. Or smoke. Yeah. If he shows up and doesn't announce that he's going to the Steelers, he's officially the biggest asshole ever. Well, Craig, let's just, let's just time machine for a second. Craig, he announces he's going to play for the Steelers live at this McAfee live show on Wednesday night. Yeah.

What is going through your head? What are you, what is going through your heart? How do you feel about that? It's like, you know, I'm in less pain, but the pain is still there. Like you were constipated and you finally took a shit. Yeah, but like you still have two more. but the first one, you know, it was enough to get you home. You made it home without shitting your pants.

That's how I feel if we get Aaron Rogers. You know, we're all talking ourselves into it because we're backed into a corner. You're not all talking yourselves to do it. There are a lot of Steelers fans that are like I'd rather have Mason Rudolph for the year. That actually is ridiculous to me. That's one of the dumber things. Craig just wants the mystery box. He just wants something different.

That's all. Yeah, I mean, we know what the Mason and Rudolph situation. is like Cam Hayward being like, we would be happy to have Mason Rudolph. No Steelers fan would be happy to go into this season with Mason Rudolph. Well, they need a quarterback anyway because Rogers, even who signed him, it's 41 years old. So, D.K., if you're looking at the Steelers. Don't give us Jackson Dart.

We need a defensive lineman. We need a cornerback. We need a running back. We do not need Jackson Dart. Let's say you don't. Yeah, let's say you don't take Jackson Dart. DK. Honestly, I wonder if this is also funnily enough of sneaky running back team just because

you're other running backs are Jalen Ward and Kenneth Gainwell. Eagle? Eagle? There you go. Honestly, the Eagles, the Steelers, we should bump them up over the dolphins. Two Eagles. Kenneth Gay, well, any of Darius Slay, a quarterback, and Isaac Samalo, you signed a guard from the other Eagles team.

Yeah, so we have three Eagles. Yeah, we have three guys who run the Eagles two years ago. Not bad. D.K., let's say that the Steelers don't go running back or quarterback, though. Wait, before we do this. What's the history of the Steelers trading back? Do they do that very often? Doesn't feel like it.

No, I don't think so. They usually just hunker down and take a lineman or a shitty quarterback. Right. You're not going to, would you have. projected Jackson Dart to Pittsburgh had I not said anything? Okay. I think because they gave up a second rounder to get D.K. Metcalf, I had sort of circled the idea that they maybe trade back and trying to recoup some of that draft

capital to address multiple positions. I kind of just had Kenneth Grant, huge space eating, you know, really athletic guy that can kind of just eat up blocks and make everything easier for the guys around him. Derek Harmon's another guy we've talked about Walter Nolan from Ole Miss is a guy that we haven't talked about a ton, but he has some pretty interesting twitch and movement skills and athleticism, just a pass rushing type of defensive tackle. He reminds me of the guy that you guys drafted, was it last year or two years ago?

Remind me his name. He's the guy from, why am I blanking? Keanu Benton, sorry. Yes, which is like the one of the, we only basically have Cam Hayward and Keanu Benton. We're pretty thin in the middle of the defensive tackle really badly. And then maybe a Quinn-Shon Judkins in the second round, I would like, that would be solid.

I mean, that would make a lot of sense. Yeah. He'd be great for them. Worst case scenario, we get Aaron Rock. Actually, I don't know what the worst case scenario. Is the worst case scenario we don't get Aaron Rogers and we draft Jackson Dart? The worst case scenario is you sign Rogers and he gives everyone on the Steelers measles. Which honestly could happen.

That's very much in play. That's the worst case scenario. I'm so desperate, but all my eggs are in the Aaron Rogers basket because I don't know where else to put them. He's carrying him in like your shirt. Yeah, I have them tuck in my shirt like a kangaroo pouch. But yeah, I want Aaron Rogers. All right, I'll admit it. I want him.

I want him to announce it on stage on Wednesday. Kai and Carlos, can you guys, like, clip that for like when Craig hates Aaron Rogers every single week for 17 weeks? I still maintain that there's really no better other solutions. You could have just paid Justin Fields. Nah, I don't want that. Aaron Rogers was working out with D.K. Metcalfe like a couple, like a week ago.

Yeah, he's got to stop. Honest, he should be skewered for, waiting this out. I have all the transparent Rogers like me, me, me, me, look at me attention things. If he signs on this show... He's such an enigma. Dude, I know. Hard to figure this guy out.

What could he possibly want? I have no idea. Speaking of Justin Fields, though, the New York Jets, I mean... The Jets. The Jets are just such a funny team. I think actually their offensive line is up and coming. Like, they have Fashana with left tackle. Like, they have solid guys on offensive line. There's pieces on defense.

I will, the running back room's good, Breece Hall and Braylon Allen. I have to say, though, the Jets do not have one tight end under contract after the season. The only receivers the Jets have under contract after the season are Garrett Wilson and Malachi Corley,

who had three catches last year and was drafted by an old team that he's like a gadget player. And like, Alan Lazzards on the team, but he's going to get cut. So I actually think the Jets desperately need a pass russer in a way of a past catcher. Dude, they have Garrett Wilson and Malice.

Calcut Corleo, the only pass catchers on the team in 2026. They also signed Josh Reynolds, which flew under the radar, big signing for them. Tyler Johnson from the Rams. Xavier Gibson was, he had a little bit of hype last year, Charles Irvin. Man, yeah, they really need depth that receiver. And tight end. Like you said, Jeremy Ruckert Stone Smart was like their their tight end signing in the offseason.

It is pretty bleak. And so I think they're not, you know what? They're not going to pass a lot. They're not going to be running like 75% of the time. It's true. They need a right tackle. So, I mean, Carter Warren. is their right tackle?

You know, I mean, that sounds like a fake name. What's your favorite Carter Warren play? I know. So if Membo's there at the seventh pick, I think that would make a lot of sense for the Jets. But, D.K., do you think the Jets should be taking, like, I mean, do you think the Jets should really pass over like a right tackle or another player and take like a tight end or receiver? Like, if Ted McMillan is there at 7, do you think the Jets should take Ted McMillan or

Tyler Warren or. Yes. I think ultimately you're building the foundation for whoever is the quarterback, the next quarterback for the team in the future. I think there's obviously this chance that Justin Fields turns into the starter, the long-term starter for them. The odds are it's probably not going to be the case. Like he'll probably have some exciting games and run a lot and do that kind of thing. But unless he makes a huge jump as a passer, and we just got done talking about how crappy the receiver core is outside of Garrett Wilson,

probably not going to happen. So yeah, I think it's just building the foundation for the team in the future. I think offensive line, Membu makes a ton of sense for them. you know, again, if Will Campbell falls and he's sitting there, that would be great for them. I think Ted McMillan, even a guy like Matthew Golden, if they really like him, would make sense. Just get some speed and, you know, versatility in the receiver core. Start building that foundation where you can drop a quarterback in in a year or two. And you start to have a really good offense.

How good do you want the offensive line to be with Justin Fields? Because if it's too good, then he's going to stay in the pocket and throw it. You know what I mean? Or you need to be bad. We want him to be flushed out. the pocket. Yeah, you need one vulnerable tackle to force him to run sometimes. If you draft Ted McMillan,

it's like, can he really even support two wide receivers throwing the ball? I'm not sure you need that. Gary Wilson's enough. That's smart. Yeah, you just need, you need just, that's why you have your right tackle bad. So the right time, and then that's what Justin Fields just runs. Yes. And then there you go. And then that's the offense. Yeah,

honestly. That's smart. Speaking, I mean, very similar team. Colts and Anthony Richardson. Honestly, there's similar stuff going on with the Jetson fields in the cults in Richardson. I want to play two tight ends and a lie with you guys with the Indianapolis cults. Ooh. This edition is called two tight ends who had more receiving yards than every cult's

tight end combined and a lie. Literally, these are tight ends who had more yards than every cult's tight end combined. And one of these is not true. Tyler Conklin. Okay. Conklin probably had like receiving yards than every club. 500 yards, maybe? Will Disley.

Okay, he's another guy who probably had like 500 yards, 400 yards. And Craig's middle school nemesis, Austin Hooper. Hooper did not have many yards last year. One of these guys did not have, sorry, two of these guys had more yards than all the cold stands. What team, I don't even remember what team Hooper was on. The Patriots. Yeah.

Behind Hunter Henry. I'm going to say Hooper, too. I think Hyva is just throwing me a bone. And finally, Austin Hooper has a stat that is negative towards him. So I'm going to go with Hooper. No, Al Free. Austin Hooper had more yards than all of the Colts had in last year. Another win for Hooper in the Craig versus Hooper book.

As did Will Disley. The lie is Tyler Conklin, who was like 10 yards off. Oh, I didn't realize that. Okay. Which was, so we're talking like Moe Alley Cox. What else is going on? Oh, my God. Dude, they have- Jalani Woods, who was hurt all year. Salani Woods, right?

It's a brutal group. True Ogletree, Will Mallory, Albert Okuibuno. Wow, they've, they, they, got a whole mash up of random ass tight ends on this team. It's funny because it feels like they've been using a lot of picks and not like high picks necessarily but they've been using a lot of resources

to bring in guys and none of them have worked out. Well, they're using a lot of resource, but like they're using a lot of fifth round picks. They haven't really to try it, which is why everyone's kind of mocking the Colts to take the 14th pick, tight end. Yeah, the favorite pick I think is giving them Tyler Warren. Would you do Loveland or Warren at 14DK?

Warren? It's easy. that knows what we want. For all the things we said before about them. I don't know. If the Colts decide that like a defensive tackle or an offensive tackles fall into the Colts and they're like, you know, there's a lot of tight ends,

who is a tight end that can think the Colts could get in the second round of this draft where you're like, all right, Colts fans, I know you wanted a tight end. Colts pick 45th in the second round. Who is the tight end you think they could grab? I think there's a couple guys in that area that are really interesting for them. Mason Taylor from LSU,

who is Jason Taylor's son. I like the Mason instead of Jason Taylor Jr. You're just Mason Taylor. Yeah. Like my son could be Manny Heifetz. Elijah Arroyo from Miami is another interesting one. Greg Coralbeck, yeah. Greg Coralbeck and Manny Heifetz.

Elijah Oroyo? What do you like about Elijah Oroyo? He is a really good athlete, good in space, run after the catch. He tested really well. He's got just like a big frame, very athletic, kind of just, you know, get him out in space and let him do his thing. I think Mason Taylor is kind of the opposite where he's like, less flashy physically, but just kind of does everything really well.

Just sort of a, you know, for lack of by the word, like a lunch pail tight end guy, he's just going to like be a solid contributor for you. Terrence Ferguson from Oregon, not much of a blocker, but he's pretty athletic,

and he can run the seams and he makes him pretty impressive catches, screenplays, things like that. And then Harold Fanon from Bowling Green, who I don't know, I can't get a good, like,

didn't that guy like set a record this year at tight end? Yeah, He led college football in catches and yards. But he's kind of a tweener in the sense that he's small. He's like 6.3, 245, 250 coming from a lower level of competition in Bowling Green. I think he's kind of stiff and runs weird. So I think there's a little bit of that going on where it's just like, I don't know, like, how this is going to translate exactly. But he kind of reminds me of like a Isaiah likely a little bit who was really productive in college and then ended up falling.

but then you just get into the NFL and he's a really good receiver. Turns out, you know. D.K., of between Colson Loveland and Tyler Warren, who has the larger catch radius? I would probably say Warren. I think technically speaking, Loveland might have a bigger wingspan, but Warren, I mean, if you look on his tape, he's just absolutely fucking mossing people every time you look up. I would say that should be probably priority number one when going after a pass catcher for whoever. Oh, that's good call.

And there you go. Because honestly, that's a good point. if Colson Lovell that doesn't really matter. Yeah. You know? That's a really good point, Greg. DK, you should have a lot of that. Why does getting open have to do with anything?

Sorry. I don't know why you would bring that out with the Colts. Remember the Panthers when Cam Newton was young? He had, fuck, who are the two? Kelvin Benjamin. Yeah. And they drafted the other guy from Michigan,

whose name I'm forgetting. But he was like 6-5 or whatever, 6-4. Jake butt? No. No, is a receiver from Michigan? Hold on. I'll never forget that Jericho Cotry was on the Panthers team that really almost won the Super Bowl.

It's like the most incredible thing about Cam Newton to me. The list of incredible feats. Cam Newton almost made Jericho Cotry. Devin Funchis. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, he didn't really pan out. But the idea at the time, Craig,

was Cam Newton is not very accurate. Get him the two biggest receivers we can find. And just throw it in their zip code. Devin Funches is 30 currently. you could have told me he's 42. That's not. You're wrong. You look, Gemini is wrong.

That's not possible. Wikipedia is 30. 30. What is he? How long has he been out of the league? That's crazy. No. Are we like four years?

Dude, Devin Funchess hasn't played since 2019. He played one game in 2019. He's out of the league now. We can say Funches. Funches? Is it Funches? I'm not to pronounce it. It is Funches?

But like, we don't have to abide by that when he's not even in the league. Funches is. Come on. That makes sense. Dude. The second Devon A-chan retires, it's A-Chane. Again. Yeah, that's fair. Okay.

All right. Teams that are five degrees away. We don't really, this is where you go, you know, really from scalples to now we're kind of, you know, close to the chain. So I was here. Patriots, I mean, they're really leading the clubhouse here. I give the Patriots the highest score in this group because they, one, have the coach, Mike Vrable. They have the quarterback Drake May, and they signed Milton Williams, who was on the Eagles. So they're getting close to the Eagles than these other teams.

They paid a lot of money to have an eagle. I think the Patriots are closer to winning the Super Bowl than the Colts or the Jets. I actually weirdly agree even though they have like no good players other than one. They have three good players. And one of them, Christian Gonzalez is a great quarterback. Christian Barmore, I don't know if he'll ever play football again. I don't know of the other. And yet they have more of the ingredients than like five.

Like teams would switch places with them. I would put, so you have in this category, this is the last five teams. You have the patch, the Raiders, Titans, and Browns. So I guess it's just four teams. I think the Raiders and the Patriots, I would sooner pick to win the Super Bowl than the Colts or the Jets. I agree with that. DeK.

Of course, the Jets. I don't know about the Colts. Probably the Colts, yeah. No. I think you're probably right about that. But yeah, the Patriots, I mean, honestly, the Pats, I think the end of the day, D.K., I think obviously the Patriots, you know, they're picking fourth.

And I think the Patriots, it's all Patriots fans, just want Shudder Sanders to go to the Browns, so it could be Cam Ward Shadur, and the Patriots could have Travis Hunter or Abdul Carter, go to them. Let's just say for a moment that happens. And the Patriots are like, all right, well, Abdul Carter and Travis Hunter

are too good to pass up on. I know we have this, but who is the offensive linemen, you think? Actually, no, we already talked about that. Fuck that. Let's say it's the opposite. The Browns take Abdul Carter and the Giants take Travis Hunter.

So now the Patriots have to kind of like take it. Maybe they take an offensive lineman forth, defensive lineman, who do you think the Patriots should take in the fourth pick if Hunter and Carter are gone? Do you think they go for an off reach quote unquote for an offensive lineman like Will Campbell? Or do you think that they take someone else? That's a really good question. I personally would take a guy like Tet McMillan. You would take Ted McMillan fourth?

Sure. I love that D.K's holding strong with me on Ted. Ted's all over the place. He's dropping. He's like not even a top two receiver for some analysts out there. Top three. I mean DK are holding strong. I think you have the problem with like that spot in the I guess you know the issue that that the Patriots will have at that situation is there's not going to be anybody like teams are going to be desperate to trade up for so they might just have to sit there and pick.

Mason Graham they just signed what's his name? Milton Williams. Milton Williams. They they so they might not look at the defensive tackle spot plus defensive tackle traditionally is not like a super premium position that that goes that high. Running back again, same deal. Will Campbell questions about his arm length, question about whether he's going to be a tackle or a guard. And I'm just looking at some of my top 10 guys.

Jalen Walker, he's kind of a tweener. Arm on Membo, same deal, right tackle with short arms. You know, there's just question marks about all these guys. And I personally think, even though people have question marks with Ted McMillan, I'm like, they desperately need a receiver. It would be giving Drake May some help on the receiver core, just an overall and just offense in general continuing to build that around him.

So I don't know. I think it makes sense. He's big, super productive, strong, run after catch. I mean, if he goes to the Patriots, he probably will be a bus, but let's be honest. Oh, why?

The Patriots are fucking cursed franchise for receivers. Draft and receivers. If he goes to like the Jets or something like that, I feel like he's worse off. At least he'll have like he'll be the guy. I'm just kidding. I'm mostly kidding just because the Patriots

fucking just absolutely suck at picking receivers in the draft. But yeah, I think it makes sense. That's personally what I would do. But we'll see. Yeah, the Patriots need a bunch of stuff. And there's no team that needs Chitter Sanders to be a Brown,

other than the Browns. I think the Patriots might need it more than Browns fans want it, honestly. So I don't think the Patriots want to be in that spot. The dream pick there is Travis Hunter, though, right? Yeah, definitely. Because you need a quarterback. I can't receive her.

He would be perfect for New England. Another team that's five degrees away. Raiders, who they've had the best vibes of any team this offseason, like Pete Carroll and Chip Kelly and Tom Brady running the team. Adults in the room. They need a running back. The running backs on the Raiders right now are Rahim Mostert, and Cyram Mcormick, Zemir White, and Dillon Lobby.

Dead last in yards per carry this season. Let's say from, who do you think is a running back the Raiders could get, let's say day two, day three that you'd be, like, excited about? I don't think the Raiders is going to take Gentie at 6, unless you guys think that they will. I mean, I think there's a chance they do. But, yeah, probably not. I think Judkins makes a ton of sense for them because he played for Chip Kelly last year. A.K.

the guy on the cover of College Football 25. Right. Caleb Johnson from Iowa, depending on what kind of offensive planning on running. The Judkins thing makes sense. How do you feel like? Because you've been talking about Trayvian Henderson a lot. Where are you in Judkins? Because you have Judkins 60th.

You have Trayvian Henderson like a top 30th. three player on your board. You've Judkins 60th. So I think Judkins is good. He's like a solid, you know, early down guy, Blake's tackles, has some good lateral burst. His testing at the Combine was ridiculous. Like he was one of the best

running back athletes, according to the RAS score, you know, in history since they've been tracking it. He's really explosive. You compared him to Kareem Hunt in the draft guide. Yeah, he's just like a, I'd say a rugged, early down back, breaks tackles can kind of be the engine of the

offense. I think that's exactly what Pete Carroll wants the running back to be. He's a little bit, he can create on his own. I don't think he's like a superstar talent, but he would be a really good, he would be a really good starter for them. He's better than anybody they got right now. That makes a lot of sense. And also Judkins, his spin moving, the first version of college football 25 was so

powerful. They had to nerve it. They had to like artificially reduce his stamina after using a spin move because it was, it worked too well in the game. There's two other guys I think Carol would like. Damien Martinez from Miami, who is just big physical. If you pulled up some of his coolest plays, I think you'd think he was a first runner because he's just trucking dudes in the open field.

And he has really quick feet for being so big. And then Cam Scadabo, who, or Scatabu, I should say, from Arizona State, who I don't know, he's just really elusive, breaks a million tackles, kind of does it all. He's good in the passing game. I could see them being interested in him as well, maybe in the third round. another team that's very far away. The Tennessee Titans, obviously they need a quarterback,

probably going to take Cam Ward out in Miami with the first pick. I think when the Titans come back around in the second round, DK, I think the Titans need a receiver really bad. They don't have the first pick of the second round. They have the third pick of the second round. But if you look at the skill players for Tennessee, it's Calvin Ridley. Traylon Burks drafted by the previous regime and got fired.

Van Jefferson. That's who's like starting for Tennessee. Who do you think is a receiver Tennessee can use 35th? Because, I mean, that's brutal. That is, that's, that's, about as bad as it gets. Do you think a mechukukah is going to be a first round pick?

Because if he falls into the second, I think he would be great for them. There's a lot of buzz surrounding him lately. I feel like he's trending towards the first round. Yeah, I think that's fair. And then Luther Burton kind of feels like he's going the other way, Craig, a little bit. But I think he's, you know, another guy that you can just, you can get involved in the screen game.

He has, I think, there's a ton of meat on the bone in terms of what he can do down the field. They didn't do a ton of it this last year. but he has the physical traits to do everything that you want to do down the field as well. He's really good on like slot fades. He can hit explosive plays.

So I think Luther Burden, if he falls, would be a good choice for them. Jalen Noel from Iowa State, I think is a really fun, interesting player, super explosive, gets open,

you know, works the middle of the field. Elylech, I-O menor from Stanford, Craig Argi, who is just a big X receiver, wins on slants, can, you know,

run after the catch, big physical guy. I think there's some questions. marks about his hands, but if he can kind of improve in that area, I think it's like, your hands and your, and drops and everything in college is one thing where I'm like, part of me, you shouldn't pay that much attention to it because guys can get better at it. And part of me is like, that could be a fatal flaw. He just keeps dropping passes.

It's like the Quentin Johnston question, you know, how is he going to do at the next level? But I do like Ile and are. And he's, he has so many plays where he just goes over guys and like takes it away from him, including Travis Hunter, that I believe he can get better in that area. Jaden Higgins from Iowa State, Knowles teammate, another big guy who's really fast, really explosive.

There's a million receivers in that second round, third round area that I like. I think that could make a lot of sense. And then the Browns, I mean, obviously, I mean,

Browns quietly need a lot. Like they need a quarterback, even though they have Deshawn Watson, who basically is like a ghost at this point. Browns need a quarterback. Also need a running back, Jerome Ford and Pierre Strong

are the only running backs of the Brown's roster. Nick Chub is a free agent. The offensive line, they're both starting guards and his center are free agents after this season. And I mean, I kind of wonder if Joel Betone is going to retire after the season. Receiver, it's Jerry Judy and Cedric Tillman, Elijah Moore is a free agent. Like the whole offense actually, a lot of turmoil there. And then the defense is, you know, better. But I think this is an offense draft for Cleveland.

DK, would you rather, do you think the Brown should take Abdel Carter or Travis Hunter with the number two pick and like trade for Kirk Cousins? Yes. overtaking Shitter Sanders number two? Yeah. Why? Because I think Abdul Carter and Travis Hunter are elite blue chip players, and I don't think Sheter Sanders is. I understand the value question in terms of like quarterback is the most important thing. But if you're including Kirk Cousins in this equation and it actually is reasonable and realistic that that will happen, I could see that.

It's so funny, though, because it's like, are we going to really go with the two Achilles guys? Yeah, let's say the Browns give up the 94th pick. It's the end of the third round. They give up, Buffalo's third round. Man, they're going to have to give up that much for Kirk Cousins? Oh, let's say, well, I find 104, the fourth rounder. Okay. I think that's where it, yeah.

That's 10 spots. I guess one starts with 100 or one doesn't. That really does. Also, the nature versus nurture element of dropping Shador into Cleveland versus, like, him falling and getting picked to a decent team. It feels like the biggest difference for him, that if he is on a team that has, like, a little bit of a supporting cast and an offensive line and a consistent coaching situation, that could go a long way for him

rather than showing up on this Browns team that is completely, you know, destroyed right now. It seems like... We've been talking about the Miles Garrett thing, the interview he had where he was like, I'm comfortable with what the team is doing a quarterback. Of course, that could be a total red herring

and he just decided to stay because he's getting $40 million a year. That's the answer. We put way too much emphasis on what, like, one player says one time in an interview. I think that could be nothing. What I wanted to bring up, though, here was I've been listening to Greg Rosenthal

on the NFL Daily podcast, and he seems to think Kirk Cousins is like what Miles Garrett was talking about. So I think that's really interesting because my initial impression was like, oh, they're taking Shudur, and that's who the answer is. But we could see, you know, from left field, Kirk Cousins come in and just be a starter he's played with what's his face? Kevin Stofansky. Stephansky before the offense fits him.

Again, and like, Craig, you said it perfectly. And Hifitz, as you were sort of explaining the things they need, the offensive linemen, the skill players, the running backs. I'm like, this is not a team that's really set up well to just drop a rookie quarterback in and succeed right away, especially in Cleveland. And so what? We think that the Browns then, if they wanted to make this trade for Kirk Cousins,

you hold on to that so you have leverage with the second pick. And the idea that the possibility of you taking Chador second still gives you the leverage to trade out of that and then go get Kirk. Or I guess you just take Abdul-Kron. Carter, Travis Hunter, and then trade for Kirk. But either way, you have options. I just think you take one of the blue chip players and go from there. You're not a team that's like a quarterback away right now.

It's also like these guys last, like if you take, fair or not, you take Shadur and like the clock starts. And so on one hand, if you're really on thin ice, sometimes guys will take. And again, I'm not accusing anyone of just doing stuff to protect their job. But like, if you do take Shadur, you're now tied to Shadur. Like if Kevin's DeFansk and Andrew Berry takes Shadr, you might not get to take another one. So if you're like, damn, we could take. take Abdul Carter and like that's a really defensible thing and then come back by ourselves a year.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that at the end of the day, like if you have Miles Garrett and you have Abdul Carter, that can fix a lot of other things for you. Yeah. We kind of bootstrap everything else. That's every team in the AFC. The team I come away with just being a most impressed by is actually Denver. Yeah, 100%.

I agree. I'm like, I'm still all looking back last year, how good their defense played and how little impressive players they have on offense and yet they were extremely competent, made the playoffs. got their doors blown off, but you remember, first drive of that game, 7-0. Oh, yeah. Austin, Austin reminds me, we forgot about the Jacksonville Jaguars, which is so fitting. Classic. Perfect.

Classic. Spoiler alert, they need everything. They need defense. They need defensive tackle. They need outside quarterback. They need safeties. They still need safeties. They kind of need everything.

And then it's assuming that they like what they have on offense, like a bunch of positions. Where did we miss them? Were they in this group or did we miss them a long time? Oh, they were near the gym? Oh, I went from the stoos to the Jets. I have them as four degrees away because you have Trevor Lawrence, and I believe in leaving home. We'll see about Dugie Hauser, the GM, who's like 11 years old.

But I do kind of wonder, the free agency board seems like they use Trent Blocky's board. I wonder what they do with the draft board. But the Jags, they just need defense. And again, I think they need Mason Graham because they just need a defensive tackle. I think cornerbacker defensive tackle is what's going to line with them. Maybe they tread back. Maybe they don't. I don't know.

But Jags, I think, they're missing Mason Graham team. Okay. other thing we have to get to here is we have some emails two IPAs and a lie can't wait, hit me. Okay, so we asked people to email in two IPAs and a lie. And did they do, did they provide the fake IPA? Yes. Okay.

Do you think I made up the fake IPAs? I don't know. Well, I didn't. Okay. All right, this one is from Callum. Calum. All right, two IPAs in a lie. Blood of Cthulhu Stout. That's not an IPA.

But that's fine. Whatever. It's not an IPA. Oh, fuck. It's a stout. I don't give a shit. It's a good point. Literally the first one, but okay.

Over my dad bod Pilsner. Also not an IPA to your point. That's okay, beer. Juicy ass. Juicy ass is definitely real because they always, juice is always associated with IPAs. I think over my dad bod Pied Pilsner's fake. Say the first one again.

What was it? Blood of Cthulu. That's got to be a thing. Blood of Cthuloo I'll say the Over my dad bod. I'm going to go with blood of Cthulhu is fake.

You think blood of Cthulhu is fake? Sure. You don't believe in Cthuloo? Sure. I think there's a lot of dad There's like a lot of dad bod humor with beer as well, so I feel like that makes sense.

I feel like when you're drinking beer you don't want to be associated with a dad bod. That makes me not want to drink beer. Dad boddods are sought after now, D.K. Oh, sweet. Oh, my God. Motherfucker tricked us. They're all real.

Yeah, of course. Fuck. Callum. Callum. Dad, what is it the dad bod? One? Over my dad bodod. What a Cthulhu?

God damn it, Calum. He said in another one. He ruined the other one, too. Because the other one he had was aggressive jazz hands, IPA, and thirsty beaver Amber Ale. Now I realize that those are real, too. Thirsty beaver and aggressive jazz hands. Who is, is Cthulhu a character from a book?

Who's Cthuloo? Like a mythical creature deep in the sea. Is it like a, it's like a, it's like a cracking? Okay. A giant chemical derives from A fictional cosmic entity by HP Lovecraft.

Oh. Okay. Did he start a cult or is he just a writer? Did he start a religion? No, that was the What's his face. That's El Ron Hubbard. Best rap lyric of all times. The Elron Hubbard of the cupboard.

But El Ron Hubbard was a science fiction writer, so I see your point. Okay, we got other ones here. Hit me with more. H.P. Lovecraft? That sounds more like a guy who would start religion and cult. It does.

The Lovecraft. This is from Luke. C.org. Luke says I couldn't choose, so I put four IPAs in a lie. Okay. Gasoline rainbows. Perfect.

Gamma knife. Gamma knife. Which could also be a work platform. Yeah. Attack of the space cats. That feels real. Yep. Tears in the hop stream.

Wizard burial ground. Good Lord. One more time. Run through them quick. Gasoline rainbows, gamma knife, attack of the space cats, tears in the hop stream, wizard burial ground. This is why I don't drink IPAs anymore. Seriously.

I think the I use are a thousand. I think you can now you can ship beer efficiently now. It doesn't, you don't need all that hops. What's the second one, Hyphitz? Gamma knife. I think gamma knife's a work platform. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That'd be a good twist. The answer is... Of the knife. Tears in the hop stream. Damn it. Tears in the hop stream? Maybe it's tears. Tears in the hop stream.

That's a pretty good name, whoever came up with it. That's... Dude, Gammon, that's unbelievable. All right, we got, all right, we get a few more here. Big doinks. The fell omen.

Ooh, I like that. Dorothy Mantooth. And nose air bender. No one actually knows. named Dorothy Mantu's a That's such a good name for beer Dorothy Mantu's a saint Dorothy Mantu's a saint I wouldn't put it past

these these microbreweres out there I know true What was the last one? I think Nose-Therbender's face into a car windshield and then take Dorothy Mantooth I think Nosehairbender's real What's the first two or the first two?

Big doinks in the fell omen Jesus Big Doinx is big doinks real Fake? Is that your guess? Yeah I'm going to go big doy-doyces I said nose hair bender. The answer is, oh, the fell omen is a boss in Eldon Ring.

Hmm. It did sound somewhat like a fantasy thing. That makes more sense now. That's outside my lane. Okay. This one here is from Austin. Austin's in this river side. He texted me.

Let's see here. Hop foo with an exclamation point. Okay. Weekend vibes. Okay. And Velvet Stone. I'm all about drinking weekend vibes. Yeah, 400 calories a bottle.

9.3. 10.7%. You're drinking mud. Oh, man. You have one of those. Your days ruined. You have two. You can't drive home. I'm going to go with, God, I mean, there has to be a thousand beers out there called Weekend Vibes. I know, right? Weekend vibes, Hop Fu and Velvet Stone. Weekend Vives is like, if you thought it was, you made it up, it's really. real.

Velvet Stone is fake. Yeah, I think I would agree. Yeah, Velvet Stone's the fake. Austin, terrible job. Sorry. Wow. Awful. We saw right through you. You got to go harder. It's like Destroyer of Worlds, triple IPA.

Sorry, he's not a liar by nature. He's just, he's too honest. I will say, kind of like two IPAs and like a video game character. That's also kind of fun. Two IPAs and whatever. The more IPAs that a lie, please email us for your fantasy football jails.com. The death by fire, milk stout.

Milk stout What's a milk stout That's a real thing Really? Yeah there used to be a brewery In that San Diego Left Hand brewery I used to do milk stout

Milk stout Good God Yeah It's like a meal substitute Yeah Drinking of milk stout Looks stout sounds like the way You would break down

Derek Harmon's game Love the way he sits in Love the way he eats space It's like a milk stout It's just a milk stout It's like 4.2% It's a course It's creamy.

It's smooth. It goes down smooth. Makes your belly feel good and your brain. Free advertising. Craig, I feel completely the same. It's good for the soul. All of the old Guinness. Guinness is good for you.

Yeah, all the ad slogans is all about how Guinness is medicinal. I love it. That should be, you should, instead of postable and doing Bud Light, you should do the Guinness commercial. It's like, makes my belly feel good. Makes my belly feel good. Makes my belly feel good. I now want to launch an IPA.

feel good. Just so we can put on the can makes my brain feel good. We also got a lot of emails about... It's like the first time we got drunk. I don't know. My brain feels good. I can't feel my legs. We got a lot of emails about how splitting the G has been a thing in Ireland.

Oh, really? Yeah. That's surprising. Nice. Surprising. I don't know if that's the word, but that... So a bunch of white bros who went to Arizona State did not invent it. Yeah, it turns out.

Yeah. That is like the... That is not... I was not expecting that. All right. A lot of emails of Washington. our hands. Do we want to go through? You want to save these for next episode? Are they good?

Let me go through. Let me go through a couple. Yeah, give me a couple good ones. So this one's from Jake. Give me one of them big ones. So, this one's from Jake. Jakey. Again, we were talking last week about, so many emailed in last week about someone in their office. Jake! I don't know, Jake. God damn.

Jake Sawyer. Jacob Jake Ironically Oh no that's a different one Someone else goes It's really different email now Jake says

I'm a commercial carpenter I build schools and high rises I do a lot of layout That's a wide range of things I know He says basically I a lot of crawling around on the floor With no gloves to make marks

And snap lines for walls It's disgusting Every time I go to eat or leave I cover myself up to my elbows and hand sanitizer or scrub wash my hands. I'm not nasty. But there are others to do the same job and never wash their hands the entire day. And Jake says the amount of grown men I have, like grown men old enough to be my dad, who I have washed eat tuna sandwiches with their hands that are black from chalk and have been crawling through dirt, concrete dust, muddy bootprints,

and the occasional dips pit all day is beyond disgusting. Not to mention that they've been using a porta potty at least once a day. You know what, though? Those guys are going to live forever. Their gut biome is probably fucking Steel crap in there. Yeah. It's true. They're either borderline septic or their gut biome is fucking kicking ass.

Only, there's no middle ground. You know, we always ask people to earn 100, like, how did you, what's your secret? And they always just like say, never drink or drink every day. There's nowhere between. But we should ask them how much they wash their hands. Yeah, that's the keys. You're just constantly introducing bacteria to your body at such an alarming rate that you turn into a mutant.

The other one, this email is from Troy. Troy. Troy. And again, the impetus of this is people emailed in last week about a guy in their office doesn't wash hands. And Troy says, there are guys who wash their hands and guys who don't. But there's a third category of dudes that I find more disturbing. And Troy writes that this group of dudes turns on the water,

wet their hand for two seconds, then turns off the water, no soap, just wet hands. And then they go back. They touch the faucet, paper towels, door handle, wet, germ hands. And I don't understand what they're trying to, accomplish. Germ hands. Does part of them subconsciously know they should wash their hands? But at the same time, they just hate the idea of it.

So they half-ass it. I would honestly because they don't want their hands. It's the mental checklist. I think it's one public perception and two, it's like the mental checklist of I washed my hands because I got them wet is enough. I think these are people who this is, you know, it's, you know, it's political correctness. It's the people who privately agree with the people who don't wash their hands, but are too afraid to be the guy at the office who doesn't wash their fucking hands.

You can't be the trouble. So they go through the charade of they piss. they wash their hands fake and leave because they don't want to not wash their hands but they also, if they were alone, wouldn't do it. Yeah. I always do that when I'm like cooking in the kitchen, like every time I add an ingredient or something,

I always am just like doing like the tiniest little mini wash. You know how you do that? Probably do that 15 times when I'm preparing food. Yeah. That's like a nervous kick at this point. Yeah. We're going to die. Right.

Yeah. I got to start just like picking up gum off the street chewing it. That'll make me forever. That's a good idea. Yeah. Last one here is someone who was watching a Red Sox game this weekend. and they pulled up a list of like Walksper at Bat and one of the guys on the list was Stuffy McAnness

I'm sure it's not McA-A-N-I-S. Stuffy McA-N-I-S how would you pronounce? This is a Stuffy McA-N-I-S. Sounds right to me. Oh, wait, no, it's two ends. It's Stuffy McKinness. Oh, Stuffy McGinnis. Either ways.

It's not McKayness. No, it's McGinnis. He's splitting the G. This man is named Stuffy McGinnis. He's from Gloucester Mass. If that's how you say it. He was part of the $100,000 infield. He was born in 1890.

Do you guys ever think? Man never washed his hands a day in his life and he lived to be a ripe old age of 38. McGinnis gained his nickname as a youngster in the Boston Suburban League, where his spectacular playing brought shouts of, That's the stuff, kid. There's no way that's real. That's in the first paragraph of his Wikipedia. So many people said, that's the stuff kid to him that they started calling him stuffy.

What? Deka, can you believe you wrote this entire scouting report at NFLdraft. Dot the Rairn.com and you never at any point said this kid's got the stuff. This gets cut the stuff. You got that's the stuff, kid. Tyler Warren, you got the stuff, kid. He's got a moxie. Do you know there was a, he used to manage the Salem Witches, which was a minor league team in the 20s?

That's a, isn't it still the name of the Salem team? That's a great name for a baseball team. I don't know if it says they, I'm so dumb. I Googled, you ever Google something? I googled Salem Witches. expecting a baseball team to come up. This, whatever this iteration is of this team disbanded by 1930.

I don't know if they like continued it for another, if a different team took that name. Wait, the high school in Salem, their nickname's the Witches, which is. They're like, their official mascot is the witches?

Yeah, that's got to be one of the best. Oh no, no, no, Salem Witches is the New England League. There's a lot of like Cape Cod League. There's a lot of like sub.

Yeah, that would make more sense. But if Salem High School's name is the witches, that would be up there with like top tier high school mascots like the best one. That's pretty sick. Well, no one cared about that. Too soon. And end the episode now.

Too soon. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you also. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Kallis. And you, Mike, it could be peers, whatever.

Thank you, stuffy. Thank you, stuffy. Email us and what was the other one? Oh, email is more hand washing stuff. It's been really funny. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you, Ozzy Osbourne.

A.k.a. Black Sabbath. Yeah. Never really cross. my path. Do you think he washed his hands after he ate the bat? The Osbournes? No, I mean, here and there, I've seen the crazy moments of, like, Sharon and Ozzie being nuts, but no.

Do you think when Ozzy Osbourne ate the bat? Do you think he washed his hands? Definitely not. Well, I think when he ate it, he was like, oh, fuck, that was a real bat. Did he even eat it? I thought he just ripped his head off. He chewed its head off or ripped its mouth. He spit it out like that means better.

And he was like, oh, fuck, that was a real bat. Well, he thought it was a fifth. fake bat is that why he did it? Something like that, yeah. That's what I read. I don't know if that's true or not. Drugs are wild. Dude, it's like the White Lotus. Where I was like, what's he doing that for? I'm like, I think it's the drugs. I have not seen the finale.

He ate the bat's head off in 82, guys. That was the year I was born. Great year. Do you think you were the bat reincarnated? Maybe. You can't rule it out. I cannot rule it out. Do you think you're reincarnated like that shot in White Lotus?

you think you're like I Spoiler art Jesus Christ What did I just fucking tell you? Oh sorry My bad Whoops

We can just edit it out Yeah I don't care Yeah we'll have to edit it out For all the people that we care about listening But for me I'm screwed Oh yeah Well whoops Maybe he says

Whoops I literally a minute ago said I haven't seen it so don't spoil it And he goes okay And then he said Whoops Oh my God Did I do that?

All right. Well, now I don't need to watch it. So it says me 90 minutes. There you go. You're welcome. Saves me whatever incestrial scene is going to take place. God, what? I haven't seen the show at all.

Oh, my God. You should watch it with your brother. Why is incest such a big thing in TV shows these days? I don't stop that shit. What else is it happening in Thrones? Game of Thrones. I watched this silly show called Shetland. And there was like a whole season of, yeah.

Like the Pony's? Yeah, Shetland like the islands, which is where the ponies are from. The Shetland, wait, the Shetlands are islands and that's where the ponies are from. Yeah, they're islands like, they're part of Scotland. Look at Hyvitz trying to change the subject because he's embarrassed that he ruined my day. Whoops. Yikes. Zoix.

All right. Favorite Ozzy Osbourne song, go. Crazy train. I think the Patriots ruined crazy train for me to be honest. Oh, that's fair. I liked it better before all the Super Bowls. Yeah, that's fair. I honestly don't know a lot.

That's the only Ozzy song I know. What's the most famous Black Sabbath song? War Pigs. Oh. I don't know how that goes. Maybe I was a guitar year, I think. Yeah, yeah. I like that that's how we know it.

It's probably disgusting to so many people listening. It's honestly, probably where I learned Freebird. Oh, yeah. Dude, I went to Florida for the Master Party and we just found a freebird remix of just the guitar solo over at EDM. It was incredible. Those are honestly the best EDM songs

is grabbing some like cherished famous song from the 80s or 90s and like speeding up the beats per minute. I know that's like the most sacrilegious thing ever but every once in a while you hear Kaigo remix a Tina Turner song and you're like, this is it. No, nobody agrees.

Okay. No, do you see two friends? Two friends put it at the 25th one. Oh, really? Yeah, they had a 25th, whatever they're called remix. I was looking after lyrics to Warpig. Sorry. Sorry.

General. So why did he eat the bad? He's just high? Just like witches at black masses. Black masses and witches, speaking of. All comes back around to stuffy. All right. If we had a brewery, I think our bit would be to name every beer after an old baseball player.

Oh. that's really good. Like, there's the Cloice, there's the stuffy. Yeah. Oh, that's really good. We'd have the Stuffy McGuinness. The Stuffy McGinnis. Oh, yeah, I like this.

Yeah. Might get sued. We'd have like the milk plum ale or something. It'd be like a fruity ale. Oh, that's good. What's the milk stout, Craig? Um, I don't know. But we will have a milk stout.

There's definitely some white baseball player back than they called milky. Yeah. That's actually so true. Like Milky Higgins from what I'm going to know for. Baseball reference right now and just type in Milky. Baseball player nickname Milky. Well, Melky Cabrera. Oh, Milky Walt.

That's true. But he's not old, but. Herbert Perry was nicknamed the Milkman. Oh, he played in the 90s. The Milwaukee Milkman were an independent baseball team in Franklin, Wisconsin. Wait, Zach Gallin is nicknamed the Milkman? He's a current pitcher. He's pitching today.

Zach Gallon's pitching today. Gallon or milk because his name's gallon. That took me a minute. That's incredible. Craig, Austin just sent forward this thing from Urban Dictionary, the Milky Higgins is when a person attempts to drink a gallon of milk in a half an hour. No, let's see Anthony Panoi. Did you know that or is that just a fucking coincidence? I just made that up.

Oh, my God, of Milky Higgins. Tries to drink a gallon of milk at a half hour. Isn't that like a guaranteed puke? Oh, yeah. you're not going to feel great after that. That's been a challenge. That was like the original cinnamon challenge. I mean, the first thing I learned as a young boy was that you cannot chuck a gallon of milk and keep it down.

Yeah. Did not know how to name. Milky Higgins. Why is it called that? I don't know. Being on Urban Dictionary, I thought it would have been something worse. That's fair. Yeah.

Especially when the word milky is involved. Yeah. There's a couple things that you should avoid on Urban Dictionary. A couple of phrases that have stuck. in my brain for a long time that I learned in college, I'll never forget. Much like the White Lotus spoiler that I'll never forget.

Whoops. Goodbye, everyone.