The Ringer NFL Show - Draft Needs for Every NFC Team (Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon)

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

The guys take a look at draft needs for every NFC team! They take some inspiration from the “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” game and discuss how far each team is from the Eagles. Plus, emails! One Degree Away: Lions, Rams Two Degrees Away: Vikings, 49ers Three Degrees Away: Commanders, Packers, Seahawks, Cardinals, Bears, Buccaneers Four Degrees Away: Falcons, Cowboys Five (or more) Degrees Away: Saints, Panthers, Giants CHAPTERS: Intro (00:00) Six Degrees of the Philadelphia Eagles (03:22) One Degree (07:28) Two Degrees (16:42) Three Degrees (27:14) Four Degrees (01:02:05) Five or More Degrees (01:07:31) Emails (01:21:48) Check out our 2025 Ringer NFL Draft Guide here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producers: Kai Grady and Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, everyone. It's Amy Poehler, and I'm launching a new podcast called Good Hang. In preparation for that, I asked some of my friends to send in some videos and give me some advice. Just be yourself, and the guests will come. Don't be the celebrity that this is their like six thing they're doing. I love true crime and cooking podcast. Is there any way you could combine the two? Well, everyone has an opinion and a podcast. So, join me for Good Hang. It's rough out there. We're just trying to lighten it up a little. NFL draft show. My name is Nate Heifton. I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Worldbeck. And today we are going over all the teams in the NFC and what they need for this year's NFL draft. But if we're being totally honest, every team just wants to be the team that won the Super Bowl. And that year, this year was the Philadelphia Eagles who just crushed everyone. And honestly,

D.K., I feel like this is the time of the year where in 2 a.m. conversations between coaches and scouts late at night at the building, they're like, what if we could be the Eagles? Well, I think it goes to it. The Eagles are especially balanced on in pretty much every area. This is something that we talked about after the Super Bowl. Basically, they have the best offensive line, the best defensive line, really good linebackers, really good secondary that they fixed in one year, amazing receivers, amazing skill group in general, a very good quarterback, an unstoppable play that gives you this extra down, basically. Like they have everything that any team could want the Eagles have. And so the Eagles are basically just the platonic ideal of roster building right now.

Plus they have a good GM. Plus they have a coach, which he might be good. We don't really know. He's gone to the Super Bowl twice now, so he's probably good. Well, the coordinators. Vic Fangio is at the cutting edge. He's the one who started everything going on in modern defense. And then Jeff Stelan's the best offensive line run game coordinator person in the whole league.

Oh, yeah, him too. Yeah. So just have like the best coaches and roster in the league in front office and you'll win. And to be clear, did I say Jalen hurts? Because people get really upset if I don't mention. I actually noticed that you took a while to say his name. He was like the eighth thing you brought up. Look, he's not the best quarterback in the NFL, but he's a very good quarterback, all right?

So we're giving Jalen Hertz's flowers as well. Craig, I feel like this is the time of year. And this happens in every sport, though, where a team wins a championship, when it's in a dominant fashion. And then teams just do the meme of the, oh, dear Lord, I have seen what you have done for others. And I would like that for me, too. Yeah. I would like to go to there. Yeah, because there are certain wins, like when I would say when the Rams won,

the championship in the NFL or it's like that year i don't know like when the lakers won in the bubble there are certain types of championships cupcake rings some could say where that's not necessarily a model that needs to be replicated but there are other situations like the eagles this year the warriors run darrell mori jar warriors jar dero mori literally built the the houston rockets just to beat the warriors that was his only goal was like i need to build a three point shooting juggernaut uh and with james hard and that can take down the warrior's And so now the way the Eagles won it with how dominant they are and with like kind of reshaping the game around like power football, big, mean, offensive and defensive lines, running the ball. Now that seems to be kind of the new way everybody is going.

And to be the best, you got to beat the best. And now that's what everybody's trying to do with Philly. And so that's why we're rigging this up because we wanted to do team needs. I do the team needs for NFLDraft.com. That's up there. So, you know, whatever team needs in the draft. And we give some suggestions to. And we're going to go through.

and we're thinking, what are these teams thinking? And especially in the NFC, we're going to do NFC today. We're going to do AFC next week. But honestly, they're thinking about how to beat the Eagles. And as Greg said, then you've got to be the Eagles. And we're like, you know what, screw it? We're just going to rank how far away every team is from being the Eagles. And that's kind of what your draft needs are, aren't you?

What is the gap between you and being the Philadelphia Eagles? That's kind of what you need in the draft anyway. So we came up with this dumb thing. And I realized, and as we were joking about this, I realized, it's actually just the six degrees of Kevin Bacon. it's how many degrees away from you are the Eagles? And that's really your lot in life and your lot in the league is how far away you are from being the Eagles.

Yeah, it honestly makes sense. The Eagles are Kevin Bacon and how many degrees away are you from being Kevin Bacon slash being better than the Eagles? So like the lions are only a degree away. Giants kind of six degrees away. And so we realized. So I kind of made a dumb scale here and you could argue with me if you want. Wait, hold on.

How far away are we from Kevin Bacon right now? Well, because of Bill Simmons, everybody at the ring has one degree away. Pods count? Well, no, no, no, no. Because, wait, Craig, you're in a nationwide commercial. No, Matt Bellany is going to be in the show with Seth Rogan. So that right there gets us to Rogan. That's pretty good.

But again, like, Bill has interviewed and knows everybody. So if we're one degree away from Bill, are we one degree away from Bill? Or are we zero degrees away from Bill? I don't know if a podcast. One degree is being Bill. That bill is right. Okay, zero is being Bill. So we're one degree away from Bill.

I don't know. I think. But that count. I mean, that's assuming a podcast is like a movie, which I feel like a lot of people are two degrees away from Kevin Bacon in probably many ways. Podcast has to be like three degrees. How many degrees from Kevin Bacon are the Eagles currently? I bet they're one.

Now I'm getting confused. It's probably anybody on the Eagles or the whole team? Anybody on the Eagles. Well, Jason Kelsey, well, I guess he's not of the Eagles. Probably just one would be my guess. Let's find that out. Let's figure it out later. I'm sure whoever is Jalen Hertz's agent knows the agent.

knows the agent of Kevin Bacon, and so it's like two. Bejohn Robinson was an I carly, so he's probably got a lead at everyone else. So we'll see. But anyway, so I made the stupid scale, and it's going to be a six-point scale.

And so basically, it's just going through. Is your quarterback as good as Jalen Hertz? Yes or no? Yes, you get a point. Is your skill group as good as A.J. Brown, Devonte Smith, and Saquan Barclay,

you get a point. Not many points there. Offensive line. Is your offensive line, like the best one in the league? If so, you get a point. Defensive line.

Do you have like the best defensive tackle in the NFL on the deepest group, but also your edge rushers are the deepest group of the league? You get a point on the defensive line and pass rushers. Secondary linebackers. Are you, do you have, I mean, I think that's not the weakest part of the Eagles. Back seven. You're like incredible quarterbacks and serviceable safeties and great pass coverage. Cool.

You get a point. And then also leadership. As Craig mentioned, do you have the best GM in football or close? Yeah. How stable is your front office and coaching situation? Is Vic Fangio, your defensive coordinator? or is Jeff Stoutland, your offensive coordinator? Does that make up for Dick Siriani, who just is your vibes in chief?

You know, and people are mad at, look, it is what it is. That's the perfect solution, by the way. The perfect way to do it is to have two gurus as your coordinator and a maniac as your head coach. That is what it is. So anyway, those are the six points. And so if you lose, we're going to do this out of six. And I don't want people to get confused because if you're one degree away,

that's like a five out of six. I don't know what that makes sense. I think it's more Kevin Baconty to say the lions are like a degree away from the Eagles. Yeah, do it like that. say one degree away. No point system. But doesn't that make it more complicated? Because I'm giving six points.

So what I'm saying is the lions have five out of six points. So they're one degree away. So what is less confusing for people to follow? Yeah. Just get rid of the points thing. Just say one degree. Well, I explained it to Jackie.

And she was like, she thought the five out of six would be easier to follow. If you just say the lions are one degree away from the Eagles, that seems clear to me. Okay. I'm going to say both. And then if it gets off, you guys can tell me to stop saying.

He really just wants to say the points. Yeah, I don't know why you asked. You clearly had a plan. I just, I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, we'll see. And I want to start this with the Detroit Lions,

who I think are five at a six point. There are two teams that I think are one degree away. The Lions and the Rams. And this is the NFC. This is, yeah, so we're doing the NFC. The AFC is more teams that are close, I think. The NFC, honestly, there's only two teams that are really close. And one is the Lions.

I am giving, so the ones where I'm giving a full point. So leadership with the Detroit, right Lions. I think you could quibble with this if you want, but the front office, they've drafted really well, Dan Campbell's head coach. If you want to quibble, you could say, well, they just lost their coordinator, a defensive coordinator and four other assistants. Like, you could quibble with that if you want. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you could quibble with the there and say actually, you know, maybe get him a half. I still think Dan Quinn, or sorry, Dan Quinn. I think Dan Campbell still gets them there.

I think so, in my opinion. Yeah. And then I'm giving the Detroit skill players a full point. Jamir Gibbs, David Montgomery, Jameson, William, Rahm, Sam, La Porter. I actually think the Lions get a full point and offensive line. I think this was the only team in the NFC I gave an offensive line the full point of like, yeah, they're about as good as the Eagles. Quarterback, I think Jared Goff gets the point. I think that's going to be, people are going to be mad at me about that. So I'm doing half points here.

I'm doing half. Is Jared guy, I know he wet his band versus Washington and Jillen Hertz. You know, not the knock on Hertz is the wrong term, but basically even in college, Hertz has always been around incredible talent and won and gotten really close to winning championships. And Jared Goff around that hasn't been as good as in playoffs. So should I knock the lines there? Give him a half point for Goff or is they a full point? Yeah, I think like a half point.

I think in terms of like general skill and talent and how you feel about them, I think they're honestly pretty close. But the thing that Hertz has that takes him over the edge is he has that like, the tush push is like a real thing that Goff doesn't have. And I think that separates the two of them. I think Hertz on the Eagles is specifically so powerful that it kind of knocks him up another tier. and golf on the lions, although really good,

and that's the perfect system for him, I don't know if it has that same cheat code situation that Hertz has, you know? Hertz is like a force multiplier right now. Yeah, it's like Hertz would not be the same anywhere else, which is not a knock against him, but it's the perfect fit in Philly. And you can say the same for Goff, I guess,

but I still think it's different. So then we'll knock that down to the half point. But then, so the other half point, so if quarterback Richard Goff's a half point, the other ones are the defensive line for the Lions and the secondary, and I think these are the draft needs, because honestly, the half point,

is solely out of respect for Aidan Hutchinson, who broke his leg, but was leading the NFL in Sacks. And if it weren't for him, the Lions might get his ear. I mean, if you just look at this, the Lions, you have a dozen players coming back from injury. It's hard to be confident about it because Aidan Hutchinson coming back from the broken leg. Marcus Davenport, season-ending injury with the triceps. Zedarius Smith, they acquired the deadline, but they cut him. Alian McNeil, the defensive tackle was really good for them. They give him a big contract.

He has an ACL injury, and Dan Campbell kind of admitted he might not be ready for week one, and they're going to be, like, slow with him. They have another defensive tackle coming off in ACL. DJ Raiders in the final year of his deal. So you look at this, that's the big impediment. And secondary, they have some issues too with the Lions, but overall, I just look at this draft. And the Lions need to go back to basics and the trenches.

Like defensive end, defensive tackle, and they lost Kevin Zitler at right guard, and they needed a guard. And honestly, Graham Glasgow was okay at Left Guard. He wasn't awesome. But I think that this is a trench draft for the Lions this year, DK. So I'm curious what you think the line should be doing,

particularly honest. The first round picks are really important for them because they need a lot of help on the trenches. Yeah. I think they picked 28th, right? So I've been, and I'm looking back at my past mock drafts that I've done this draft season so far. Mike Green, he's an edge defender from Marshall. He might not be there around 28 after kind of seeing how the draft is gone.

draft season is gone. Kenneth Grant from Michigan, Jack Sawyer from Ohio State, which is probably a big reach. He's probably not going to be a first round pick. I'm sorry. I think he mispronounced his name. Sawyer! So I think we have an issue right now where we can't play necessarily some intellectual property on this podcast. So Craig might have to do

the whole thing. Craig's impressions are going to come in clutch. We start getting sued because they sound too good. You guys can't just play Gus Johnson clips on the show. Jack Sawyer! But yeah, I think, Hyford, you're right, though. I think the meat and potatoes draft

for the Lions just get an edge guy, get a defensive tackle, or both the first couple of picks. Well, this also aligns with what the Eagles do best, right? Like, if you're trying to be the Eagles, you need to reinforce the lines, you know? Got a shop at the hardware store before the toy store. God, man, I'm just like, Hyford says you were talking. I was just like, man, they got so many injuries last year. I couldn't even believe it. Every game, it was like two guys went down with

the injury. Just brutal. So I think they just need bodies. They need bodies on defense, defense, defense, and if they can find a guard along the way, I think that's the lions. The other team here, anything else in the lines before we move on here? No. The other team here I had is an honesty for Doc and Goff, this is actually the number one team, the NSC, closest to the eagle. the Rams. I have the Rams as one degree away from the Eagles. And I, or as some would say, five and a six points, which you're right. Kind of sounds dumb as I say. I like the degrees.

But yeah, the degrees is better. But the, so I gave the Rams a full point for leadership to Sean McVeigh, Lesneed. They've clearly known what they're doing. And they don't do things the same way as the Eagles, but they're crushing it. Quarterback Stafford, full point. You know, it's like Matt Stafford. They got him back. He actually hasn't resigned his contract.

They agreed on it. Lessneed said it is semantically it is done, which I've never heard. heard, but they agreed on a deal. So Stafford's back. You get a point. The skill guys, now that the rents signed Devante Adams with Pooka Nakuwa, you know, Kairn Williams is in Sequin, but I'm giving them the point. Pooka Nguyen Adams is incredible. I'm giving the Rams the point for the skill. And the defensive line. I'm giving the Rams the defense of line.

You have Byron Young. You have Kobe Turner, who is goo. You have Poo to Ford. So you have Kobe Turner's goo and Puna Ford. You have GOO and the same thing. No context. People will be like, what the fuck are you saying? He was on the mass singer. The Rams' fourth best defensive line Who was the Mast singer? He was goo.

But I just think the Rams actually have, and again, they're the one team who gave the Eagles problems and that's no game. The closest the Eagles game of losing was the Rams. I think those are the full points. The half points to me are offensive line

where they're all right. I wouldn't say they're great. And then Rob Havenstein at right tackle. I mean, I think that he's one of those guys that might need to be replaced. Cornerback and DK, I think for this season, the Rams being the Eagles is like,

they need a cornerback. They just Super Bowl champions, like they have, you know, they have like Darius Williams and a Keller Weatherspoon, but like they need more depth at that spot. But honestly, the Rams biggest needs are what are you going to do after Stafford retires? What are you going to do when Rob Havenstein can't play right tackle anymore? What are you going to do, Tyler Higby, who's last year of his deal is 32, he's at injuries? Tight end quarterback right tackle for the future, cornerback for now.

So I'm curious that you think that applies to the Rams draft. Yeah, I'm in alignment with what you said there in terms of like their needs. I actually had Colston Loveland kind of like mapped out for them on my next one. I think that would be really interesting if he makes it that far. because remember last year they tried to trade up for apparently according to reports they tried to trade up for brock powers which thank god they didn't do that because i'm like as seahawks fan because you're a seahawks fan thank god for me they didn't do that thank god he's on the raiders that's awesome yeah thank god he's on the raiders no mcvay and brock bowers i actually think brock bowers would be like a hall of it probably will be anyway um it also is just like another reminder that i mean not like anybody really doubted bowers last year but it's just another reminder that they have good taste like mcvay and and Sneed being like all in to try and go get Bowers. It didn't work out for them because no one would trade with them, but like they obviously know what they're doing.

Yeah, it's it's funny that the Rams are in this tier, because I agree with you, they probably they are one degree away, but they don't really feel like it. The Rams are so weird in that, it always feels like they're one year away from total collapse, but then they kind of hold it all together. They start the season,

and by the end, they're in like the NFC championship game or the divisional round. And I honestly think what they, been doing so well. And the reason why they've been able to kind of keep the ship afloat is because of their draft the last two years. And it's like what the Eagles did, right? If you have your blue chippers,

if you have the guys that you're going to pay a bunch of money to, you're Matt Stafford, you give a lot of money to your Devante Adams, your Aaron Donald's, the Eagles, you're paying a ton of money to your receivers, Jalen Hurts, Saquin Barclay, all this stuff. You got a basic, like, the key to go from tier two to tier one where you from two degrees away

to one degree away or to winning the Super Bowl is like you basically need like two to three straight great drafts. You just need to hit for like two to three straight drafts. And the Eagles did it. It's like Jalen Carter, Nolan Smith, Quinyan Mitchell, Cooper DeGene, and the Rams are kind of doing that. Like their last two drafts. Last year

they got the two linemen that Ohio Fis just mentioned, Fisk and Verse. And then Kobe Turner and Byron Young the year before that. So it's like if the Rams can do that one more time, again, all these guys are super cheap on their first year deals, that's what kind of elevates you to that next level. When you have your big cornerstone pieces, you're like your four blue

bluepers. But getting to the next level is basically you need to go three for three on drafts. And so on that point, the Rams actually have a first rounder this year. Again, they didn't have one for eight years and they got Jared versus last year. They have a first rounder. They don't have a second rounder because they traded up for Braden Fisk. But I do think it's fair to expect the Rams to trade back in the first round to collect another pick. And they do have a compensatory pick, the 100 first overall.

So they do have two thirds, and I think that they would add a second. So I think you're totally right, Greg. And that goes to like having a strong stable front office. Who knows what they're doing? So now I got teams that are, I have, next group I have is teams that are like two degrees away from the Eagles. So that's like us. We're two degrees away from Kevin Bacon. So these are the Danny, Danny and Craig tier.

Yeah, the ringer NFL draft show tier. Yeah. So I don't know. This is probably, that's probably, you know, an insult, but. The first team I, well, to who? Depends on the team, I guess. The Minnesota Vikings. I don't know if we're the Minnesota Vikings of podcasts, maybe.

I, oh, that's also, I could go either way. Anyway, I have the Vikings two tiers away. I basically, I give him a full point for leadership with, I mean, just Kevin O'Connell has had. coach. I think they get a point. Skill guys that get a point. Addison, Jefferson, etc. Amazing. And the D-line. I think the D-line's actually really good, really deep.

Half point for J.J. McCarthy? D-K., is that too generous? He's never playing the NFL? He's never played a game. No, he does not get a point. He's going to zero. Oh, my God. Okay, all right. It's a zero. Jesus. I mean, and I'm bullish on him, but still, like, he's never played and he's coming off a serious injury.

And they're still fucking talking about Aaron Rogers. Also, I feel like a quarterback should be worth, and your weird point system here, I feel a quarterback should be worth more than one point. Like a really good quarterback is more important than a really good receiving zero or one. You're right. I should have thought of that before he did it. You know what I mean?

Like Matt Stafford is still better than having two good wide receivers and J.J. McCarthy. Yeah. Well, too late now. Well, that's why the degrees works. That's right the degree. That's why there are two degrees away.

That sounds better. But you're right. Yeah. So every degree is a point. Fine. Whatever. You know what? We're not going to change it.

No, McCrsey's not. The points must die. A degree. Fine. Jesus. McCarthy doesn't get a degree. But I will say, in terms of the draft for the Vikings,

I think the things that I looked at this roster and I was like huge issue, the interior offensive line, because the tackles are good enough. Christian Derrissault left tackle, Brian O'Neill, right tackle. They're good enough tackles. The interior offensive line is a mess.

Honestly, you could argue that Sam Donald's last two games that cost them all that money. The Lions game, he sucked. The Rams game, the Rams just exposed that the Vikings' interior line was bad. He was under siege the entire game. Yeah. Vikings fans will be the,

first to say honestly the interior of the guard center it's like they redid it they got ryan kelly not that impressive so and then cornerbacks they just lost like three quarterbacks in free agency so dkie looking at this draft do you think the vikings are in a good spot so with the what the vikings are picking 24th yeah 24th do you think the viking sort of a good spot if they need cornerbacks but really interior offensive linemen do you like where they're at for that is yeah i'd say that's a pretty good that's a sweet spot right there for linemen offensive linemen i think and especially in this draft where you have a a handful of guys who could potentially play tackle or guard.

Kelvin Banks from Texas, I think some people think he's a guard. Some people think he's a tackle. He might fall a tiny bit. And if he's there in the 20s, I think he would make sense for them. Josh Connelly from Oregon is another interesting guy former five star, good athlete. I think he could play left tackle, but also if they need him at guard, I think he could play that. Donovan Jackson from Ohio State is one of the better guards in this class. But I think, you know, probably not going to go much higher than 24 just because he's a guard.

Josh Simmons has potential to fall because he suffered a Pateller injury to his knee last season. I think teams are probably going to be a little bit worried about that. But he has true left tackle talent. I think he's a good enough athlete to play at multiple positions on the offensive line. This is the kind of draft it is where every tackle could also potentially play guard. You know what I mean? And so the Vikings are actually in a pretty sweet spot for the offensive line. I think if a handful of guys are kind of still around when they pick.

And I think it's important for them to do it. And last episode, someone asked about need versus, like need versus best player available. I think the situation the Vikings are in or when you start to lean on need. J.G. McCarthy's development as a quarterback is at stake here. And as good as Justin Jefferson is and Jordan Addison and T.J. Hawkinson in your tackles. You know what you don't want? Guys, bum rushing up the middle like, you know, like we saw in that Rams Donald game, like J.J. McCarthy's development is at stake.

If you can solidify guard, even if you, quote, unquote, have to overdraft, overpay. Look at the Panthers. The Panthers, quote, overpaid for two guards last. year. Guess what? They revived the Bryce Young experiment. Like, that changes the course of your entire team. Those are the moments where you're like,

ah, it's more than a tiebreaker for if you can go get a guard, a guy, oh, it's not really attack against guard, whatever. You don't want JJ McCarthy's development to be altered by this. It's insurance. It's like it's important. You need it. Exactly.

So I think that's really, I think the Vikings Finch should be really happy about that. The next team here I have is two degrees away. I think this one's weird. And you guys might be mad at me for this one, too. I have the 49. as being two degrees away from the Eagles, which feels wrong.

Okay. And maybe, well, I guess you're going to yell at me. I gave the leadership a full point with full degree. Kyle Shanahan, John Lynch, like, I don't want to hear anything about Carl Shannon. He's been the five of the last nine NFC championship games. I was just laughing because you call it a point again. Whatever, man.

I thought the degrees is complicated. Fine, we'll do the degrees. Quarterback, I gave Brock Purdy a point. I'm sorry. I agree. You know my stance. I gave him a point. I don't.

Craig's out here trying to trade three bad players from Rock Purdy. Damn straight. Three first round picks. Roger Jones and Troy Fottanoe for Rock Purdy. Where do I sign? Yeah, you're pulling on that way. That's why I said the Mahomes thing when you guys yelled at me. I don't think that Purdy's as good as hurts.

Yeah, I'll give them a half. I can be overruled. I think a half is fine. Yeah. I think a half for Purdy is fine. But then the skill guys, I also gave a half point. And I don't know if that was generous or not because I was like, because I was like the three. The theory of them is a half point at least, right?

Well, because it's weird because they traded table, Samuel, Brandon and I Uke, I don't know when it'll be 100% again, maybe not all next year. Christian McCaffrey is the Achilles tendonitis? Is he going to play? So get Joanne Jennings and Ricky Pearsall who are good. Maybe that is the half point too generous. Just McAfree is healthy. No, because I think if Christian McCaffrey is healthy, you have to give them the full point.

Yeah. This whole team is like the cast of like Fast and Furious 9, 9th, where you're like, it's technically all the same people, but it doesn't feel the same. You know, like all the core pillars are there for the nine. it's like you still have your like Maccalfrey, you have Trent Williams, you also forgot, and you have George Kittle.

But like the full, the engine's not there, you know? Like, yeah, the car looks good, it's got great paint, cool rims, but the engine is not the same. I think it's, Ayuk, Kittle, CMC, Jennings,

and then the potential of Pierce, all, I think you can give them a half point pretty close. But it's like fast and foolish, you're right, where the names are sick on the poster and then you go to the movie. Oh, another Fast and Furious movie.

And you're like, how old is Vin Diesel? Yeah. And then... I am Groot. I am Groot. I'm like, Jason Momoa is in this one? Man, okay.

I am Groot. The defensive line, I give half a point, and I almost want to rescind it for myself because it's purely just respect for Nick Bosa. But to me, D.K., this is what the Niners need to attack, like more than anything. The Niners had the 11th pick in the draft. Dude, they got Nick Bosa.

Like, the Niners were the Eagles. They made those Super Bowls because they had, like, the deepest defensive linemen in the entire league. They got Javon Hargrave. He was at Eagles. that's a good way to become the Eagles. But then the Niners went, like, they... Yeah, that's how we should be judging this.

How many literal Eagles are on your team? How many literal Eagles do you have? Yeah, no, they cut Javan Hargrave. They're going in the wrong direction. They're losing Eagles left and right. But like, they lost Warren Berks to the Eagles. That's bad. But like, Yitter, gross modos,

Jordan Elliott, Evan Anderson, Drake Jackson. Those are like the other miners linemen? Evan Anderson. Evan Anderson. I know all those people. What's your favorite Evan Anderson play of all time, Craig? How dare you? He sacked Gino Smith in week eight.

It was great. Did he? No, I have no idea. Okay. Deke, if you're the 49ers at 11, do you think you've got to take a big bulking defensive tackle to avoid, you know, the Evan Anderson's of the world starting for you? Isn't it funny that every team we're going through?

It's like, man, they should really draft a lineman. Yeah. Well, that's a theme here, correct. It's a real theme. It really does. I mean, it is a theme because we're trying to be the Eagles, but also this draft is really heavy, offensive line, defensive line, good players.

But that's why we're doing these exercises, because every team is going to, look at this drafts and be like, you know, we just get two of these picks. Give me one of the big ones. Give me one of them big ones. So, Dink, would you take, which big one would you take? Would you take a T-tackle at 11 or a defensive end if you're the Niners? What would you do here?

Yeah, there's going to be a handful of really interesting edge players at that spot. Jalen Walker from Georgia, potentially. Shmar Stewart from Texas A&M. Michael Williams from Georgia. I gave them Armand Membue and the one that I'm working on right now. It's not published, but I'm just kind of like penciling him in there. Wow, sneak big. If he falls that far, I think they jump on it.

He might actually go before that. But yeah, there's a handful of really interesting edge players. There's a handful of very interesting tackle players. You know, Will Campbell could still be there potentially. I think they have to jump at that if that happens. But yeah, the trenches are pretty much what I've got circled for the 49ers. They're not going to go scale player almost surely. And I don't think there's not really a safety or corner at that spot that they might want to go to.

I suppose Will Johnson could be a guy that they're very interested in the corner from Michigan. But yeah, I would say trenches for sure. I just think that they need, like, defense. There's this kind of defensive tackle that they need in San Francisco to play defense that way Robert Sala wants to play defense. It does feel like, it does feel like if the Niners

have a great draft and fill a few gaps on the lines that, like, they could kind of immediately be back to winning 11 games next year, you know? Well, they were the oldest team in the NFL last year. They're 49ers by Snapweighted age. And then you look at the Eagles and like the Eagles defense was 28th oldest defense. Like they were, you know, they were young. And I think that's kind of why I want to deduct a point is the night is going the wrong direction.

The cool part about this, this exercise and Craig, what you've kind of been talking about on the show so far is, you know, a good draft can really propel you forward and can really turn you in from like a middling contender, maybe just a middling team period and turned you into a potential Super Bowl winner. And the opposite is very true where if you miss on a draft or you miss on two, drafts in a row, all of a sudden, your guys are getting, you're all your, like most talent players are getting older. Your depth is getting worse. Yep.

And it can really, really, there's trailing returns. You need to start spending the free agency and all the areas that you missed in the draft. Yeah. There's sometimes it's like a lagging return on that where it's like two years later after missing on a draft class, your team all of a sudden sucks. But, you know, I think you can see the returns right away too sometimes where you basically just don't get anybody that's worth playing in a draft class. That can really hurt you.

And obviously the opposite is true. It can really help you if you get a couple key players. All right. So next up here, a team that really surprised me in terms of how many degrees they were from the Eagles or points, as many people are demanding, I say. Many people. Many people. Many people are demanding the points go back.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers, I have somewhere between two and three degrees from the Eagles, which shocked me. But as I went through it, does Baker Mayfield get a point? I guess we're getting Baker a half. point gets realistically. If Purdy's getting a half point, Baker gets a half point. I kind of gave the leadership a half point.

I'm not going to say the best coaches or best leadership of the NFL, best GM. They have one of the better front offices in the NFL. They were the Super Bowl five years ago, and they've been so competitive for like five straight years. They made so many good moves. They've known who to move on from, known who to get rid of.

I think the bucks are impressive. If they would have kept Cohen, they probably would have been a full point on this. Yeah. But Jason Light has, I think, shown over the last few years, one of the smarter, sharper GMs, they always seem to have

the ability to keep their core players, which means it seems like there's a good culture there on that team, especially on the offense. Good offensive line. Sorry, you're going to get to that, I'm sure, but... The offensive, it's solid. It's not the best of the NFL, but it's solid. They've done such a solid job with it.

And this skill guy is like, Mike, Chris Godwin was hurt. Sorry, if Chris Goddman was healthy, I'd give him a point, but Evans, Godwin being injured, I think it's Evans, Jalen McMill and Bucky, Irving, they get a half point. Yeah.

Honestly, the issue they have, it's defensive line where it's like they have Vitavaya's a defensive tackle is still incredible, but they just don't have the edge rushers like you think of the bucks. They also, when they won the Super Bowl against the Chiefs rocking their shit in were like the Eagles, the incredible, unstoppable like amount of pass rushers the bucks were able to get pressure with. It was effortless, all these defensive ends. All those guys are kind of gone. So now it's like their, their edge rushes, they got like Hassan Redick on a one-year mercenary deal. They did prank Asan Reddick. Yeah, it's like, which is when you got Hassan Redick, he's like held out from the Jets or

the Cardinals that like had no, like was just doing the terrible, the worst financial decision. Levy unbelled himself. They have like Chris Braswell and Yaya Diabi and it's like the Bucks need an edge rusher, I think as much as any team like to get, they need to be able to get pressure without blitzing, which even when Todd Bulls admits that, that's bad. And I think this is a weird draft where the bucks, even though they're picking 26 can still get a pass rusher that could contribute

at that spot. D.K., do you think there's an edge rusher that's going to fall to them at that spot? Or like, am I right or am I wrong that at that point it's going to be like kind of second figure? There could certainly be a pass rush for that fall. So they're picking at 19. I think there's enough guys in this class that there should be at least a couple very interesting pass rushers. Donovan Izuraku from Boston College is a guy that I like a lot.

I mentioned before Mike Green. James Pierce from Tennessee, it seems like he's falling a little bit in the eyes of a lot of people. Nick Scoreton from Texas A&M. Scowerton maybe is how you pronounce that. There's a ton of edge players. that I like, I don't know maybe like at that exact spot that might not be like the best value for them. There might be other directions that they could go there in terms of just like BPA best player available. But there are certainly going to be some edge guys at that spot.

Pop quiz for you guys, because I was just looking over their roster. Who is the Buccaneers offensive coordinator? Oh, he's. He's from the Bucks, right? Like they hired from within. They didn't bring somebody in. It's a funny name. It's a funny name.

It's like the Drew Petsig of last year. Yes, it was an internal hire, Craig. His name is Josh Grizzard. Josh Grizzard? I think I somehow kind of missed that part. Josh Grizzard. Wait, that G-R-I-Z-A-R-D? I'm seeing now,

Buck's believe Josh Grizzard is an offensive wizard. Ooh. They didn't even have seen it. You guys know that band King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard? No. King Gizzard and the lizard wizard? Yeah. The wizard lizard lizard.

It sounds familiar. Are you making that out? The lizard and a lizard wizard. You should check him out. Lizard wizard. Yeah. So he was a former, he formerly with the dolphins, then with the Buccaneers. Now he is the offensive coordinator.

Dude. Wait, high school is already, he's out of Lizard Lick, North Carolina. Lizard Lick, North Carolina. Grizzard lizard wizard. He kind of is the king gizzard of the lizard wizards. What the fuck? Lizard Lizard Lick, North Carolina. What's the context there?

Speaking of lizard lick, did I tell you guys that Richmond near Mechanicsville is a brewery. It's called Licking Hole Creek? Hmm. I like that. Larry Bird from French Lick, Indiana. What is that? What is French Lick? What does that mean?

I can picture somebody. Well, French Lick. Why is that a name? I mean. What? You're talking about French kissing? Yeah. They just named a small town in Indiana

after French kissing? No, I don't. The term lick in the city's name originated from deposits that came from the mineral water from the springs. So it's originally a French trading post near a spring and salt lick.

A salt lake. French lick. That makes sense. A salt lick. What's, okay. So you guys are both, you both apparently. know what a salt lick is? What's a salt lick?

I don't know. There's a, there's a place in Austin Texas. I know that like horses have them to get salt. I don't know what it actually is. Yeah, that's just kind of a phrase I know. What is that? A place for animals go to lick is. Oh, I've, okay. I saw this on Craig. There was an episode of planet Earth with Attenborough about the salt in the rainforest. There's not much salt. So animals will go and quite, actually literally they lick up. It's like how we would go to a Mexican

restaurant and eat a bunch of chips. We just crave the salt. So there are like areas in the world where there's like a lot of salt and animals go and lick the salt? Yeah. That's literally it. So I think Hillary Bird would just lick up the French. So there are like little salty rocks where animals gather and eat a bunch of chips,

basically. Yes. Anyway, that's what I'm telling you. Anyway, Josh Grizzard, Grizzard. Is it Grizzard, do you think? No, I think it's grizzard. from lizard lizard lick Lizard lick North Carolina

email us about if anyone can explain the lizard If you're from there Emails at ringer fancy football email.com Let me anywhere Where a king gives it in a lizard wizard wizard The box The thing I want to say though about that

Because DK your point though about pass rushers late in the first round If you just look I'm just I mean This is not like science But just sorting by like Who led the league in Sacks last year Trey Hendrickson was a third round pick Miles Garrett obviously was first

But then like Nick Benito Was a late second round pick Calvin or whatever really counts But like Jonathan Gurdar was, you know, he was a third round pick. Like, there are pass rushers if you can find. I know it's not that simple. T.J. Watt was late at first round first round first round pick.

So you can get first round pass rushers that are big difference makers. So I think the bucks need that really badly. Next team here. French lick into, no, no, wrong place. Sorry. The Washington commanders are three degrees away. Took this long to get to the Washington commanders. Well, that's why.

I had, well, this system, and you're right, I should probably rank Jen Daniels higher. However, I gave Jan Daniels obviously a full degree. Maybe I need to give him more. I gave the offensive one. Give him a master's degree. Oh, yeah. He was in college for quite a long time, Craig.

Forever. Double major. Triple. Quadruple. After him. It's always asked to do that. Kristen wig, whatever. Well, my dad's an astronaut.

My dad owns the moon. My dad is the moon. Anyway, continue. Skill guys get a half a point. Terry McLaurin, Debo, Samuel, Brian Robinson. All right. You're like half-made into Browne-Divante-Sake-1. The offensive line?

So they traded for Laramie Me Tonsil. They get half a point now. I'm like, okay, I'll give them half. I feel like it's being, it is being a little generous. Jan and Daniels is just Atlas holding up the entire team. That's what I'm saying. Dan Quinn, Cliff Kingsbury, are we going to give them a full point? Like, they're like the best in the league at this after one season.

No, they get a half. And here's the thing. Defensive line, no points make God of mercy on your soul. Like they have no. Washington has no players that would play for the Eagles defensive line. Like they have none.

And honestly, even Duran Payne? Maybe Duran over Jalen Carter and Jordan Davis? Like probably not. Probably not. That's fine. It's funny.

I can't tell if what you're mapping out right now, Hyvitz is an argument to kind of fade Washington here going into year two because a lot of this is kind of Jane Daniels took the league by storm and was incredible and people were figuring him out. And now if things will change when you actually look under the hood and the engine's not that impressive, and maybe they nail the draft, but you're right. The trendy Zag is going to be to fade the Washington.

Totally. Because, I think so. This exercise we're doing today is how close is this team to literally being the Eagles? And Washington is really not that close. They're not that close. They're so far. Bobby Wagner's 34 years old. Like they have, the exact Kurtz is coming back.

He's like 33. So anyway, D.K. I know that this is sounding a little repetitive, but I think that this is the point. We're going to see some of the, as many defensive linemen and pass rushers taken in the first run of this draft is we've seen. seen and maybe in the history of the draft. There's going to be probably a third to coming up at half these picks are going to be like defensive linemen.

And Washington, to me, is the epitome of it. Because the help for Jane Daniels came in free agency. Every January to March was helping Jane Daniels, Debo and Lentzel. But Washington is another team, DK, where they have the 20, I picked on, oh, I clicked on the 20, 24. They have the 29th pick in Washington. Guess what?

They have to get a defensive lineman. Like, the only player that when their defense that would play for the Eagles is Mike Sanris still. And they need a cornerback too. So I'm curious, do you think at that point, do they just go D-Lineman or do they try to get a cornerback? Because all these teams, I feel like I'm being repetitive. You need D-Linman and then a cornerback in round two.

Yeah. I mean, I think both of those options make a ton of sense. I want to say I gave them a safety in one of my mock drafts and the Washington fans weren't super happy with me. I think because it felt like a little bit of a luxury pick or whatever for them. They just need guys in the trenches. There are some pretty good corners that are going to be. be in that area, I bet.

Trey Amos from Old Miss is really interesting. Azaria Thomas from Florida State's really interesting. They could go defensive tackle. Derek Harmon out of Oregon is a penetrating. He's a big explosive penetrating interior defensive tackle. I think it would make a lot of sense. It's just shooting gaps. Tileak Williams from Ohio State is another interesting guy.

Just a solid interior guy that's going to muck everything up and make it really hard on the offense. Walter Nolan out of Old Miss. who am I missing? Alfred Collins out of Texas, he's probably not going to be a first runner, but he'll probably be like in the second round, third round range.

Darius Alexander, Toledo has gotten a lot of buzz after the senior bowl. He was just blowing it up there. This is again, like not to just say the same thing, every single team, but if you want an edge guy,

if you want a defensive tackle, this is the class to do it. Is there a deep cut defensive lineman because all these teams are saying the defense linemen? Is there someone that you think in the second round that can make a big difference for these teams?

Because Washington, again, you know, their next pick is not early second round. Like, so is there someone that. You mean a defensive tackle or tackle or pass rusher? Yeah, I mean, again, tons of guys. Prince Lee, Uman Milan from Ole Miss is another guy that I like a lot in that second round range. Let's see here. Oluafatemi, Ola Dejo from UCLA.

I'm sure I freaking butchered his name. But he's another interesting guy. He's kind of like a one, another. one of those hybrid linebacker slash edge players. He played linebacker early on in his career, switch to edge, really explosive. He's still learning the position,

but he's really fun. I like watching his tape a lot. I actually comped him to Yaya Diabi. That kind of like shorter but really stout frame, really powerful off the edge, really explosive off the edge. You got JT. God,

I'm going to freaking butcher all these guys his name. The Ohio State guy, J.T. Tuo Maloa, which I'm sure I messed that name up. Jack Sawyer from Ohio State. rounder probably Ty Robinson out of Nebraska, another guy that rose during this process. T.J. Sanders from South Carolina, another really interesting guy. Again, there's like, dude, there's 20 probably defensive tackles that could go in this second, third round range,

like guys that I potentially could go in that range. Defensive lineman, right? Yeah, what did I say? Tackles. D-Tackles and edge guys, yeah. Good, because another team that needs one. The Packers, who I have is three degrees away from the Philadelphia Eagles. I gave him a point for leadership. Like just Lefleur, I think has been an incredible coach. And then honestly, good at Cunct, the GM is controversial. But, like, I think, I mean, anyone who got rid of Aaron Rogers ahead of the curb, I think gets a point for me. A quarterback, I think Jordan Love probably gets half a point, right?

Yeah. I want to give them a full. And I was like, that's insane. Jordan Love gets half. The skill guys get half. You know, it's like Christian Watson's hurt. Like, they need a number one receiver. What Josh Jacobs was saying they need number one, but realistically, like, I don't

think they're going to half as generous. I think half probably is generous. The offensive line gets a half, but honestly, the defensive line to me with Green Bay is just such a huge issue. Like at the end of the day, the spine of the Green Bay defense is solid. Like, I mean, they have Devante Wyatt. Kenny Clark wasn't great last year, but they have Edger and Cooper. Like the linebackers are solid. Safety's Xavier McKinney. The middle defense is cool. The edges are a mess. Like the past rushers like Lucas Van Ness, the Packers took on the first run a couple years ago. He doesn't even start for the team. He barely plays.

He never started in college either for the record. He just hasn't, this guy hasn't started a game since high school. Lucas Fadness. That was like one of those weird little things about him is the ultimate hindsight is 2020. Fuck, he didn't even start. He was like one of those. things where I always just like ceremonially, ceremonially starting the seniors versus the underclassmen. So he would just come in after like a couple of plays. But yeah. But now the tuxedo seem kind of fucked up.

Right. Sure. So he was always about potential. So. Well, so is Rishon Gary and Rishon, even as a prospect in high school. Rishon Gary also hasn't hit it.

So then you look at that. And then the cornerbacks, Jari Alexander's, I feel like might never play for the Packers again. And they lost three other cornerbacks in free agency. So the Packers, to me, are another team. There's a theme here,

but this is what teams need. Defensive linemen and cornerbacks. Like the Packers are the epitome of everything else is kind of okay, but like they have honestly nothing going for them there. Judi Baron, the corner out of Texas might make some sense for them.

Do you think he's going to fall that far? I don't know. It's hard to tell. I've got him a little bit higher than a lot of other people, but Packers are picking 23rd. Yeah. He ran really well at the Combine.

He's really feisty, really competitive. It reminds me just a little bit about like Devin Witherspoon type player where just a spark spark plug on your defense. So he's super interesting. I think he could go anywhere from like 15 to,

you know, early second round. Probably not lightly, but you never really know. Cody Alexander at Match Quarters has this metaphor I love of just like if you think of defense like a house, like the foundation is kind of your defensive line, and your trenches, like de-tackles, defensive ends, you know, that kind of stuff is the foundation. And then if you have your outside cornerbacks and stuff, the safety is kind of set the roof. but a player like Jada A. Barron and the nickel, like the nickel, the middle linebacker, like, those guys are kind of the glue or the nails or whatever. Like, they're kind of holding everyone together. So your ability of your house to, like, what happens if there's an earthquake or, like, the actual ability for the house to, like survive is and how well it's built is dependent on players like Jada Barron, which I think a guy like Brian Branch in Detroit, it's funny because we saw him as the first rounder and the league didn't, but I think it's more just bias against the position than it is anything else because I look at Jaday Barron and I'm like, that's the top.

16 player to be. And he could play outside, too. I think he's one of those players that could play inside or outside, I think. It's just, I think the Packers just need playmakers, man. They have all these really highly drafted guys, and all of them are pretty solid.

I just think they need players that are going to just absolutely make plays, make turnovers. They're like the opposite. They need the blue chippers. They have, they have like, they need some of the flash. They need like a couple guys

that are going to take them over the edge, but they kind of have the foundation and the engine is not bad. That's actually a perfect way to look at Green Bayes. They're literally like green, like they're B, like they're B everywhere. And again, they throw all these first round picks. They're the opposite of the Falcons. All these first round picks on defense don't have a ton of stars to show for it.

The offensive line is actually similar to the Eagles where it's a factory, but the Eagles are throwing like high leverage athletes and prospects at it. The Packers have an offensive line. And offensive line coaches their coordinator, but like they're just kind of churning out third and seventh round guys into like serviceable starters, which is impressive. but even last year they took Jordan Morgan in the first round at Arizona and now we want to play left tackle. And they're like, we kind of think you're a guard.

He showed up and was like, I want to be the left tackle. So now they're letting him compete with Rashid Walker for left tackle. I don't know. There's just something. They don't have the ceiling. And I think that's what Josh Jacobs was saying about the receivers. Like the receiving core thing does extend to the rest of the roster. That's a good point.

Okay, another team, DK, you're going to be mad at me. But another team that I was like three degrees away and honestly, maybe it's two. Or sorry, maybe it's four degrees away from being. the Eagles is the Seattle Seahawks. I think that's fair. I don't know what to do with this team. I think that's fair. I didn't know.

D.K. was expecting you to say two degrees away from the Eagles? I don't know, but I looked at this team and I'm giving them, I think three is generous. I think we could look back in a year from now and be like, oh, yeah, they were two away. But right now, there's so many question marks. I think we can also look back a year from now and say they're four away. Well, that's what I'm saying. I don't know what grade to give.

They're high variance, let's say. Yeah. I don't know what grade to give the leadership of the team with John Schneider's GM, McDonald is the coach. and then like Clint Kubiak, the whole thing seems to be dependent on Clint Kubiak being better as the offensive coordinator. I mean,

DK, like what would you give this team? Because as I go through it, I don't know. I really don't know. I think I'm still torn on the leadership thing. I think Mike McDonald has shown to be very promising so far, what he did with the defense in the second half last year.

I think his personality, it seems like the players really love him and really have kind of embraced his new program. and his new thing. I think it depends on what day you ask me, whether I think John Schneider's any good. I would probably say yes or no, depending on Monday I'd say yes.

Tuesday I'd say no. I just change every day because he does things that annoy me. Like, for instance, not signing any starting caliber offensive linemen and free agency when they have one of the worst offensive lines in the NFL. But then again, you know, and then just like trading away Gino Smith and D.K.

McCaff and doing this grand experiment, with Darnold and Cooper Cup of all people. It's just going to be so weird and so different. I don't know what to make of it. I'm not super confident, but at the same time, like you said, Craig, we could look back in a year and it would not surprise me totally if the Seahawks actually were really competitive.

I don't think they're going to be a Super Bowl team, but if they're really competitive, or if they just completely fall apart. Neither one won't surprise me. I think it all depends on what they do in the draft with the offensive line. The defense started moving the right direction last year. McDonald's stuff is starting to come together.

If you can't block, for Sam Darnold, none of it's going to work. He is pressure sensitive quarterback, yeah. And here's the weird thing, though, is I feel like based on looking at what the COX did in free agency and maybe they'll draft on offensive linemen, we'll see. But they really seem to be signaling that they think the problem was the offensive coordinator Ryan Grub and the coaching on the offensive line. He came from Washington school, but like not necessarily NFL run stuff.

And they're kind of, I feel like they're kind of saying we have NFL offensive linemen. We need to coach them better, which we'll see. That's a bet of sorts because the flip side is they're not, the Seelks aren't. like these other teams. They don't necessarily need defensive linemen. You drafted Byron Murphy at Texas a defense attack last year. The D-line, I think, is actually close to the Eagles. Like Leonard Williams, Jared Reed, Byron Murphy,

it's an incredible defensive line. Like, they have numbers Demarchus Lawrence, Chenow Wosu. Like, I think that they have good linemen. The flip side, though, can I blow your mind, D.K.? Maybe you already knows. Sure. Pass catchers on the Seattle Seahawks were under contract after next season. Jackson, Smith, and Jigba.

Bobo. Cooper Cup. A.J. Barner. tight end. Wow. Literally two receivers, one tight end are under contract. Every other pass catcher in Seattle is a free agent after this season.

And it's the same thing in the secondary. The only secondary, cornerbacks and safeties, the only ones under contract after next season, there's four. It's like Devin Witherspoon and Julian Love are the only starters.

And then there's a couple backups under contract. But like, you start five secondary guys at this point. They have four under contract next season. So like you look at the draft, DK, what do you want the Seahawks to do at this point

where you need linemen. You also have no pass catchers under contract and very few players in the secondary. I'm, yeah, I want an offensive lineman, first and foremost. That would be like my dream is one of these really good offensive linemen fall to that spot and they just scoop them up

and make the really illogical smart move and like, there you go. You have a new offensive lineman. That's going to help a lot. If they don't do that, I'm starting to hold out hope that Ted McMillan is going to fall. I'm actually, because he's been one of the most,

I think, not controversial, but there's a wide perception on what he is and who he is and how high he's going to go. A lot of people have him as like the third receiver. I saw Daniel Jeremiah, his new top 50 came out. Ted McMillan is now his third receiver. Macabuca ranks higher. So I'm just like, I remember a couple years ago, I didn't think JSN was going to fall to the Seahawks. If Ted McMillan falls to Seahawks, I'm going to be super excited.

And if they take him especially, I'm going to be doing backflips. And then I don't know. I don't really know what else I want after that. I think it's like O-line 100%. If a really good receiver is there and they take a receiver, I would understand that. And then past that, it could just be Ness player available. I don't really care. Spoken like a man who's also kind of sick of watching his team.

No, I'm not sick of it. I think it's just this is such a different year. It's going to be so different in so many different ways. The offensive is going to, the offensive system is different. I think they're going to try and like mitigate some of their problems on the offensive line with scheme, which it sometimes that works and sometimes that doesn't work. You know what I just think, yeah.

The reason why Sam Darnold worked in Minnesota is because everything on offense was firing on all cylinders. He had like a top three skill position group. He had a solid offensive line. Great scheme. You need to be focusing on making Sam Darnold feel as comfortable as possible. And to me, that's like offensive line men and skill position players like wide receivers. The people in Seattle, the pitchforks are going to start coming out for Schneider pretty early in the year if the offensive line stinks again. I mean, if the guards are getting blown up every game,

it looks like that darn old playoff game for the first five weeks of the season. I mean, it's going to look like this entire experiment is a disaster. Yeah. I'm just saying, yeah, and I, so they better take a fucking offensive line, and that's all I'm saying.

And the guards are not bad, right? They have, uh, is it cross and, uh, who's the other guy? No, the tackles are pretty good. Sorry. Yeah, the tackles are good, but you need the guards, right? It's the interior offensive line that's been a problem. Right. Yeah. When a whole unit regresses is usually goes.

And Abe Lucas has been really hit or miss in terms of health. So he's not even, I think, someone you can count on. It's basically Charles Cross at left tackle, who I think is a really good player. Even he was a little banged up, right?

When he was like, well, he's been, he's had some issues with health. But he hasn't been quite as consistent, I think as everyone expected because he was really good

as a rookie. And I think his performance has been a little hit or miss. I still am really high on him. But the rest of their offensive line, there's nobody I feel really confident in right now. Once again, take a lineman.

Next team. So, yeah, Cardinals, I have the Arizona Cardinals is 3 degrees. from the Eagles. And I mean, you know, coaching Jonathan Gannon, head coach the Cardinals, he was on the Eagles. That's a great start if you want to be the Eagles. They signed Josh Sweat. You want a defensive end. He was on the Eagles. So it's like a really good start

from the Cardinals being the Eagles. They're on the right path. Yeah. Kyler gets a half point. Half degree from Kyler. Yeah. And, you know, he's kind of the opposite of Jalen Hertz in terms of Eagle, right? Like, he's the last guy you would think could nail the tush push.

Who Kyler Murray's in a trench coat could do the could be one Jail. Yeah. Yeah. Is he the last quarterback you'd want to do the touch push? You'd trust to do the push? Or is he so small that he could kind of sneak in behind the line? Could he kind of find a crevice? Do you know that Mike Leach, this is a very politically incorrect story, but like this is real life.

Mike Leach, who has since passed away, but he's like a legendary college football coach and like a true air raid disciple. And please don't cancel me for this, but Mike Leach genuinely thought this. He felt there was no rule in the rule book. that he wanted to give a scholarship to, I don't know the political correct,

a little person. And he wanted them to throw them over the line into the end zone. And they tried explaining to Mike Leach, like you can't just give someone a spot to throw them like it's a circus or like the Wolf of Wall Street, you know, when they did that in the office. Like, they're like, that's Mike Leach. Like, that's inappropriate that you can't do that.

But he genuinely is like, but it's allowed. Like, you can do that. Like, that's allowed. There's no rule that says you can't do that. And they're like, Mike, that is inappropriate. And he wanted to do it. And they talked him out of it. So he would essentially have like Anthony Richardson throwing a guy over the end zone.

No, that was the plan. It's like pick up Kyle Murray and throw him. It was like pick him up by his collar. Like you're throwing somebody, like you're kicking somebody out of a party essentially. You grab him by his collar and just swing him over the line into the end zone. There's a whole subplot in Lord of the Rings. And it's more prevalent in the books. And then like I think there was like an extended edition version in the movies.

But it's like you'd never toss. a dwarf. It was like the Gimley thing. I think it was in the extended edition. Errigorn threw Gimley up something a hell of deep. So I think we, you know, we were talking about the torpedo bat in baseball. I think this is the new torpedo bat in the NFL throwing somebody over the line. Oh, we got emails about the torpedo bat thing.

Should I read an email with torpedo bat? Yeah. What did they got? Are people excited about it? They pissed off. So a lot of, so the torpedo bat thing, and again, we'll see how much. it's actually the actual torpedo bat because again the Yankees also played the brewers and maybe just destroyed Esther Cortez who was nervous coming home.

But torpedo bats are sick. Everyone's trying. Everyone's doing it. Alex Breggman started doing it. If you don't know what we're talking about just they changed the shape of the bat and they made the barrel bigger. And it's like, why did that take so long? They made the sweet spot bigger.

Ben Lindberg made a good point. It really looks like a bowling pin, but torpedo bats are a perfect name. So we're going to call it that. So we were like, what the other sport versions of this? People are like, oh, three pointers. And we're like, no, no, no. Three pointers are like passing the ball. You can shoot a two or three.

You can run to the pass and everyone's like, wait, passing's like threes. Someone emailed in and had the actual analogy for the torpedo bat. It's from Jake. Jake. Jake. No, I lied not Jake. Lucas. Sorry. Fuck you, Jake.

Lucas. Lucas, the answer is the granny free throw. The underhanded free throw. And his point is, it looks. No, the Barry family or whatever? Rick Barry, yeah. Rick Barry shot 89% doing the granny free throw. You know.

Which is remarkable. That's a great idea. And you know, I don't think, I don't know if I'm going to get this exactly right. You'll have to check me on this. But I believe Shaquille O'Neal for a year tried the granny shot and significantly improved his free throw percentage. But then got made fun of so much that he stopped doing it. Yes. Same with Will Chamberlain.

Will Chamberlain's the best year. Or was it Will Ben? Maybe it wasn't Shaq. I don't know if Shaq tried a bunch of stuff. I can't keep track. Shaq did one hand. There was some big guy who couldn't shoot free throws who switched to the granny style and like doubled his free throw percentage and got made. He was so embarrassed.

It was so emasculating to him that he stopped doing it. Craig, I'm reading a headline to an article. Shack on free throws. I told Rick Berry I'd rather shoot 0% than shoot underhand. Yeah, okay, it was. Maybe it was Shaq. I'd rather shoot zero. Dude, that's the great.

Will Chamberl. Luke put this in the email. Will Chamberlain shot 61% for the line, which sounds bad, but it was by far the best free throw season of Will Chamberlain's career. And then he said, Chamberlain explained the decision saying that he's shooting granny style made him feel, quote, like a sissy. Yeah, that's all it is. Just kind of looks.

It's called a granny shot. Yeah, you got to rebrand it. If they called it like the torpedo. The submarine shot, you know? Yeah, the Cracket coming from underneath. The badass shot. Yeah, the alpha. Yeah, the alpha.

It's like how they name like IPAs. It's like the fuck your mom, double IPA. It's like the desert. The desert storm, hazy IBA. Wait, wait, could people's email in. It's storm. Email in two. IPAs and a lie.

Oh, they're the best. The IPA names? It's like the voodoo ranger. It's like every name is ridiculous. It's like workplace platforms, but the opposite. Every workplace platform sounds like Blintr- It's like top gun call signs are just IPA names now.

Flying bitch. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Two IPAs and a lie said have been, okay, so that's the torpedo thing. Anyway, I don't know what team are talking about. The Cardos, the Cardos need, yes, what? Carls need defense and linemen.

I don't know what else to say. Defense and Almond. How many times can we talk about it? I originally. I certainly wasn't offended when you said the Seahawks are three degrees away, but placing the Seahawks next to the Cardinals feels insulting. But here's the thing. I'm giving the Seahawks half a point for JSN and Ken Walker and Cup.

That's generous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think half a point for Darnold is generous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, like, the D-line full point. It's just like when you real, the realization that we're in the same bucket as the Cardinals is hurtful. And you're giving half a point for Marvin Harrison McBride, Michael Wilson. Yes, I'm giving the Cardinals half.

a point for that. They honestly probably do have better skill players. Yeah. I don't think that's really a out of her. Arizona's offensive line solved. They need defensive line. Arizona's defensive line. They sign Josh Swett.

Guess what? It's an eagle. They need like six more Eagles. So another team who just bear in a defensive tackle, bearing at defensive end. Like they need pass rushers like big time. And they need cornerbacks too, which I know I keep saying. They just signed Ketka, Kalae Campbell.

How old is Kalaeis Campbell? Sorry. How old is he? He must be 40. He's like 34 or something. Let's see. 38. Calais Campbell,

what am I talking about? It's like the Russell Wilson thing. He's 32. I feel like they were doing these stories four years ago. It was like, Calais Campbell, gonna give it a go one more year for the Ravens, and you're like,

wow, he's 35 and he's still doing it. I mean, just to give you an idea of how old Calais Campbell is, he was drafted by the Cardinals in 2008. Weird. I kind of, I kind of pull up that draft

and see who was drafted at Calais' fucking Campbell. Do the Cardinals feel close to the Eagles in any way? kind of stylistically vibes wise to you. They're both opposite. Yeah. Clairis Campbell was drafted one pick after DeShon Jackson. That's how old Callais Campbell is. That's wild.

No, I know what you mean though, Craig. The Cardinals are just so different. We'll see. They need more defensive linemen like everyone else. The Bears, another team. Spoiler. They need fucking defensive linemen. Like, this is another team.

And this is really what I'm saying. It's like every now and then you get a draft that really does match what teams need. And I think that this can lead to like a lot. I think a lot of defense is going to be shaped by who gets the good ones and who doesn't. Because every team needs in the year. The Bears is another team. January of March, it was just Caleb Williams.

We're going to sign Ben Johnson as the head coach and like he'll fix Caleb. They're going to go get Jonah Jackson who sucked on the Rams. It was great for Ben Johnson to play guard. They're going to trade for Joe Tooney to play guard. They're going to sign Drew Talman to play center. And like they already took a right tackle in the first round. So that's all about Caleb. And now defense, it's like, holy cow, the defense.

Montes Sweat's going to be 30 this season. They have, um, Andrew Bill. who's 30. Grady Jared towards A. Caley's 30 to a defensive tackle. So they need defensive linemen. The secondary is actually really good for Chicago.

But D.K., this is just another team that has to take a D-Lyman, but the difference is the bears are picking really high. They have the 10th pick. I feel like they actually could get like an actual, I don't want to say Micah Parsons and throughout, but there is,

there is it like an all-pro level pass rusher that the Bears could get at the 10th pick, I feel like. Sorry, this isn't aside, but Craig going, ew, when you said Montess Sweats can be 30, reminded me of Zoolander, when she's Christine Taylor

is like doing very earnest, genuine confession about how she was bulimic when she was younger. She was like, yeah, when I was younger, I was fat. And he goes, ew! It's like fucking Zoolander. Anyway. Dude, wait, Zoolander, I thought heroin chic was fake. I've learned the other day that heroin sheik is a very real fashion style.

Like Darylique. But in Zoolander, that's the joke. Derelland. It's hominy. Sheik. And the heroin shique. Really? Really dirty.

Did you know heroin chic was real? Probably not, to be honest. I did not know that. Heroin chic is very real, dude. It just means like so skinny, you look like you're drugged out. Yeah, it was just like classic like 90s, 2000s. Closer and tatters. Yeah, early 90s, yeah.

The bears are actually in an interesting spot. Cocaine and cigarette diet. To get back on track here, the bears are an interesting spot at number 10, because I really do think they can kind of go any different direction they want. They don't have to take an offensive line because of what they did in free agency. I think Braxton Jones at left tackle is still serviceable enough where they can, you know, roll with him for another year if they want to. They could, in theory, take another offensive skill player if they wanted.

Like some people are saying if, if Ashton Genty is there, that might make a lot of sense for them to take him just because you're putting, an explosive big-time playmaker on the ground in the passing game in an offense around Caleb Williams. Defensive line, there's a bunch of guys, like you said, Hyvitz, that could be available at that spot. Basically, any of the edge players not named Abdul Carter could be there. There's going to be some really good offensive linemen. They'll probably have their pick of most of the corners, if not all the corners, other than Travis Hunter. They could just go in any direction, I think. Speaking as the team who took Saquan Barkley in the second round of Will Hernandez and the, sorry, Seiquon,

second and then Will Hernandez is 35th when you could have had Quentin Nelson and Nick Chubb. The Bears should take a defensive end with the 10th pick, I promise. Especially with how deep the running back position. Yeah, it's like just go get literally any running back in the second, third round. It doesn't matter. Yeah, but it's Genty. I know, guess what? We're the first round picks who helped the team.

I love Genty. McAfrey didn't help the Panthers win any games. I feel like that's how owners, like when the owners are sitting in the war room on draft night, all the scouts are like, we should get a delinment and then a running back? And the owner's like, yeah, but it's jenty. Yeah. Does that work for anyone? Taking a running back that high?

No, but it could work for us. It's sick. Yeah, but it's gentie. We get a lot of buzz. We're getting full four degrees away. Falcons, I have two degrees away. What's different, yeah, four degrees from the Eagles. The difference is that Falcons don't need anyone on the defensive line.

They're actually really set with their pass rush. No, I'm just kidding. They actually need it more than any team in the league. I actually don't think they could rank every team on how badly they need to leave this first round with the pass rusher or a defensive tackle. I think the Falcons are literally first. Yeah, correct. And no, literally defense, like first round quarterback, first round running back, first round receiver, first round, first round, third round, three first rounders on their offensive line.

The Falcons should just start defense, defense, defense at this draft. And again, I think people might be upset hearing that the Falcons are ranked below. I don't know, the Cardinals or something, but the exercise is how similar is this team to the Eagles? And the Falcons on the defensive line are about as far away from the Eagles as you could be. Yeah. Falcons and Eagles are similar birds, though. That's true. Maybe they should be three degrees then.

Falcons are sick. Dude, that planeted earth episode where the Paragrant Falcons are in Manhattan and they're more successful of hunting. Swooping. They're more successful hunting in Manhattan than in the wild because like the way the skyscrapers play, they can hit pigeons and stuff.

They're like swooping down like Spider-Man. Oh, yeah. The life of a pigeon in New York must just be pure terror at all times. Pigeons, dude, well, I think about... Well, except for they can't think. Rats with wings. Dude, pigeons suck.

honestly I love that falcons are hunting pigeons Come on what are you talking about Pigeons are heroic Pigeons are heroic I know what have we learned about carrier pigeons Oh the carrier pigeons Who knows how many lives they saved Should we start a delivery company

Where we just have the pigeons in New York deliver food Instead of drones That's what I want I want I want dirty pigeons handling my food Well they deliver the messages And world's shit all over the bag What if instead you're in a building in your city

And instead of going down to meet like, you know, whatever robocars showing up with your delivery food now. What if the pigeon just flies right into your window and like you can just, you know, and then the pigeon you take it. You don't have to get off your couch. The pigeon just flies in.

The bird just splatters into your window. Your burrito goes flying everywhere. You have to leave the window open. It's like essential. No, that's good. That's great. The pigeon lady from home alone too, I think, was on that 20 years ago. But how,

her business didn't pan out. She had trouble going public with it. Yeah, we certainly, it wasn't the right time. You couldn't scale it. That was the problem. Full. Full four degrees away. Dallas Cowboys.

Dallas, I think, is the most top-thagy team of the NFL. Literally, it's Dak Prescott. Let's just give Dak a point for a second. I don't care if Eagles fans get mad. We'll just give them a degree. Dude, I think the defense, the offensive line for the Cowboys, they're young, we'll see if they develop. Well, young, we'll see if they're good.

Cowboys, I actually think, are the worst skill group in the NFL, and then they happen up CD-LAM on top of it. I don't know what you want to call that. But it's like, Javon. Monti Williams at running back, and then you have like Jalen Tolbert at receiver and Kavanae Turpin, and then just C.D. Lamb is there. That's weird.

The Cowboys are going to keep Michael Parsons, and then Osa, the defensive tackle's name I can't pronounce. But like they were like the third worst run defense by pro football focus with those two guys. And now they're paying them more to stay. So it's like the, like Trayvon Diggs is not going to be ready for week one at cornerback.

Like DeMoryan overshone is not going to be ready for week one at lineback. They're like, this team is kind of a mess. honestly. They need everything. Also, just the leadership part of this is so funny to me. Craig, Craig sent a text the other day where it was like, oh, wait, should I go read it? Jerry Jones pretending he doesn't know the name of the agent for Michael Parsons.

Oh, Michael Parsley. Yeah, he's like, David Mulligan. He's like, never heard of me. I never heard of that guy. I don't know who that is. He said, yeah, I don't know his name. And then Micah Parsons quote retweeted it and was like, I love David Mulligan. I'm not letting him do anything. I'm not doing anything without his consent. And I was like, way to go, Jerry. You're really just hitting every corner. It's also just like in the context of this is the team that waits like a year too long for everything.

Yeah. And loses themselves so much money in doing so. Yeah. Talking yourself into, I'm so smart that I'll be able to make an even better deal down the road. And then you end up absolutely screwing yourself. The cap goes up $100 million. What are we doing? It's like, has procrastinating ever worked?

Do your homework for early. Literally, it's kind of like if Jerry Jones waited to buy a car and say, I'm going to wait for these tariffs to happen and see what happens. I'm just going to like, let's just wait and see. Jerry, I actually think we should deduct points. Can we do negative points for Jerry? He's negative three degrees away from the Eagles.

Is anyone further from Harry Roseman than Jerry Jones? I bet Howard Roseman knows that the sun's going to be eons in advance. thousands of years from now Harry Rosman can tell you where the sun's going to be in that stadium. I bet they have a model. They traded a third rounder for Jonathan Mingo. Oh my God.

Yeah, Cowboys... Good luck. You couldn't even get on the field it feels like. Dude, do you think the Eagles have somewhere in Harry Roseman's computer? There's a file that's like what the sun's going to be depending on when their games come out.

Do you think that they know that better than the Cowboys too? Yeah, I think most teams know better than the Cowboys do. I think you could literally just Google it. Right now. Which is funny because I don't think Jerry knows how to do that. No, definitely not. All right, these, even Nick Saban doesn't know to use email. These other teams, I thought these are the teams that are the furthest in the entirety of

sea from the Cowboys. Panthers giant saints. I almost want to lump them together because they all need so much stuff. But like, I'll give the Panthers. It's almost not even worth discussing how close they are to the Eagles. I'm starting to think that we're, we're grossly underestimating the Saints for some reason. Like, the Saints are going to do that thing where they just make everybody. feel dumb because we're all sort of saying.

Yeah, you know, which part of them? We joke about that, but like you said the Saints are going to do that thing. When is the last time? When have they done that in the last? I guess what I'm talking about is like the Saints being continuing to be competitive. Last year they weren't that competitive. But like continuing to be competitive, even though we've been talking about how the salary cap is finally going to catch up with them.

It feels like for the last like seven years we've been saying, oh, this is what happens when you keep spending on the credit card. it's finally, the check is finally due and then every year they just fucking figure out a way to like make it work. Are they making it work? You know, that's a loose definition of making work. Are they like six games?

Well, if your, if your expectations are they're one of the worst teams in the NFL, I think you're going to be surprised how they're not. They're like the seventh worst team in the NFL? Yeah. What do we say? I'm not saying they're going to be a fucking Super Bowl team.

I'm just saying they're not going to be, maybe they'll win the division. It's more important for them than any of the team to win the draft. That's crazy. To Craig's point about hitting drafts, when they hit those two drafts in a row, then they say it's won 13 games.

They're the first team to win 13 games in a row and not make a Super Bowl. 13 games, three years in a row not make the Super Bowl. But DeKitt, to your point about which part's underrated? Derek Carr. I mean, is he going to get a degree? No, right? The skill players.

No. Chris Olavi and Rashid-Chi combined for 14 games last year. I feel like you can't give them even half. Camara is like almost 30. I don't think, Chris Olave is not, a bet to stay on the field. I don't know. I feel like that's... If we're giving Marvin Harrison and Tray McBride

a half, we're not giving Chris Alave and Rishishihed half. That's kind of how I feel as well. I'm not saying... I'm not saying your process is incorrect here. I just feel like we've been shitting on the Saints really, really hard, and I'm starting to worry that it's going to backfire for me personally. That's one of those things where I'm willing to eat my words

if the Saints win 10 games. Me too. All right. I feel that way as well. And then the, I mean, the Panthers, I'll give them the offensive line and Bryce Young, they're all right. I think the receivers. I'm not willing to do it. Dave Canales sat here like Xavier against going to be our number one. I'm like, okay, good luck with that. I don't know.

I think the past catchers should still be that. Adam Thielen, Jalen Coker. I mean. Yeah. Jalen Coker is like your best receiver and he's, he was undrafted, which kind of tells you the ceiling. And he is the best receiver. And then the defense, they just need everything.

I mean, I think they had, they kept like four to secondary players from last year. And then they have Derek Brown and then everyone else. They had one of the worst defenses in NFL history last year. They gave up the most points in the history of the NFL. Literally the Panthers gave up the most points in the history of football. Is that right? They gave up the most points in the history of football. points ever last year?

Yes. Now, it's cheating because the 17th game, having said that, still. Still. Still. Literally the most points ever.

It's a tough number to be. It's a tough spot to be. It's a tough number to be. Yeah. You don't want to be. It's like five. It's like five. It's like,

so. And I'm trying to think, what did they, what did the Panthers doing for agency on defense? They brought in. They tried to get, uh,

they tried to get the defensive tackle into the Patriots. Milton Williams? Williams. And then the, he was, at Carolina, New England swooped in, and I think Vrable called him and stole them. They signed Trayvon Morton.

Yeah. So they settled for Tershawne Wharton, who was like depth for Kansas City. But that money was supposed to go to Milton Williams. Then, yeah, to Deke's point, they signed Trouvon Merrick, who was a safety from the Raiders. But like...

Bobby Brown from the Rams? Bobby Brown, Wharton. Yeah. It's not, it's not impressive. And Rico Dowdh. And Rico Dowdell. Like, it's not an impressive thing that Carolina's got going on.

Andy Dalton? Yeah. The best part of Carolina is, honestly their interior offensive line and Bryce Young not sucking. And so they need a draft for wide receiver. Probably a defensive lineman and a wide receiver the first two picks, right? They need everything. And then there's the Giants who I know we've talked about a ton this offseason and we don't need it.

But like leadership, I think that's a zero. I think that's a zero. Quarterback is a zero. How dare you? I think the skill is kind of, that won't be I know. I mean, again, you got Malik neighbors. Nah, that's a zero, sadly, right? Giants drafted Abdul Carter, I actually think the Giants defensive line would be like top five in the NFL.

Yeah, I agree with that. But if you have Brian Burns, Dexter Lawrence, Tibido is like you're rotating in and Abdul Carter's there. I do think the Giants' defensive line would actually be like top three or four in the entire NFL. Other than that, team kind of sucks. So they need everything. Right. Team sucks. They should probably trade back, just a crew picks, take offensive linemen.

Yeah, but if Hunter or Abdul Carter is there, tough to trade back. although you could get a lot probably. I know, that's the thing. You already have a good defensive line. It's like Abdul Cardi would be cool, but if you can get a massive package for that. Like a couple first. Yeah.

Even Travis Hunter. I know what's doing it though. Probably not. A couple firsts. We'll see. But yeah, so I was, humbling realizing the Giants and the Saints

are like clearly the worst teams furthest from the Eagles. Confirming, maybe that's why the Giants are two and 16 versus the Eagles in the last 18 games. But that's fine. But yeah,

so Saints, Panthers, Giants did everything. Going through all this, I really do think, I know we sound like a joke, but I'm really serious. I think they're going to see like 14 front seven players taken in this draft. Literally almost half of this draft, I think will be defensive tackles, pass rushers.

Which probably means there's going to be a lot of offensive players taken later than they should have gone. That will be gems. That will turn out to be great values, right? I mean, if it's so heavily defensive, it's probably going to be a lot of like wide receivers and running backs and stuff that slip into the later rounds that end up panning out. Yeah. And again, it's not an accident. These things happen. Teams know that there's so many guys so that that way in free agency, they don't necessarily overpay guys because they know that they're going to target that in the draft.

So there's a reason. So we'll do the AFC team needs. Hyvitz, did you figure out which teams literally have the most players from the Eagles? Yes. They've got lots of Eagles. Who has the most of the Eagles? Yeah. I thought it was going to be the Cardinals just because I thought that Gannon would eventually collect some guys.

But he actually only got Josh Sweat. the team that has the most The Steelers have two eagles It's actually the Steelers Yeah it's Darius Slay And then you have kind of Gainwell So the Steelers are basically the Eagles now Yeah I mean it's a good move

I like that It's not exactly the two eagles I would have chosen But it's a good start You gotta start somewhere Yeah You have to start somewhere So the Steelers are the only team

With two Eagles from last year I think so Yeah All right There you go Once we get Rogers That's the final piece I think like the big picture takeaway from this exercise that I've gotten is there's like three teams in the NFC.

Yes. Basically. Not that maybe not that that was not obvious, but it's the Eagles easily. The lions. Right. The Rams. Well, lions and Rams. And then honestly, I swear to God, I think the bucks are the fourth best team.

And then Washington's fifth. And like, it's so hard for me to find one of the other 11 and see. what would happen. Like, the Packers, Vikings, like, we'll see. But you're banking on McCarthy as a rookie quarterback. Like, you start to really reach. Did you guys, um, did you guys see the Art Rooney quotes about Aaron Rogers? I actually was wondering if we could go without talking about Rogers, but yes, I did.

They're so fucking depressing. This is, uh, ESPN. Wasn't it like we're going to wait a while, but we won't wait forever or something? Yeah. So Brooke Pryor, just Steelers reporter for ESPN reported this. Art Rooney the second said he keeps, quote, hearing that the star quarterback is, quote, headed in our direction, quote. We keep getting positive sort of signals about it.

How sad is this? Pathetic. You can actually read, like, he's talking. It sounds like Rogers is literally doing the thing texting when you start typing and then you stop. The bubbles and they go away. And then you never hear the bubbles again. Like, I feel like that's what Rogers has done to them.

We keep hearing that he's headed in our direction. We're getting positive sort of signals about it. Oh, my God. This is like the ultimate relationship. that you're stuck in it. You can't get out of because you're desperate. Can you read that again? But imagine that it's like your friend of yours that's like,

hey, what happened to that girl you were like going out with? And then you... He's like, yeah, I mean, I keep hearing that she's headed in my direction. She keeps kind of hinting that she's interested. And I'm getting some sort of positive signs about it. But, but yeah, so I think we're in a good place. I think we're in a good, yeah, good spot. I was just thinking the Aaron Rogers right now is that,

you know that Adrian Grenier, or grunnyer. How do you say his last name? The Entourage guy? Is it Grenier? I think it is Grenier. Anyway, he's like a meme now because there's just one tweet from back in 2014 where it was like, haven't been posting because I'm too present, distracted by the moment.

Sorry, but thank you. And he's just like in fucking, it looks like he's in Greece. He's at Suntarini. It's like, a casting director hasn't called me in four years, so I've been unplugging. I haven't been, I'm too present, distracted by the moment. I don't know that I think more meta has happened than him just being Vincent Chase in every aspect, including the entire arc in order. Yeah.

I don't know if he dated a porn star, but, yeah. Come on. That's the easiest part of the whole thing. Sure. We know that happened. Okay. That was a weird season, Sasha Gray. Oh, that was weird.

Didn't love that season. He got super into Coke. Yeah, it was just a weird. That was a weird thing. It's kind of dark. Did that happen, though? Yeah. They really happened, though.

It's a metaphor. I'm like, did that happen to Mark Wahlberg? What year was that for Mark? I know Mark had some tough times, but. Yeah, we got to see what year it was in the cross-reference. Now he wakes up at three in the morning. Yeah. And has three days before you're even awake.

I actually love, dude, the whole like three days thing, like you see. I got my favorite clip. I lost five years. I'm a day ahead now. I'm baking days. I get up at 3 a.m. 3 to 7, boom, that's day one. 7 to 11.

I'm kicking your ass. I'm two days ahead. He's like, new to 5. New to 5. That's my normal work. then six to 12 boom day four i got 28 days a week brother you're like what the fuck is this guy talking about i don't think you understand how time works he literally was like i get 28 days a week oh my god he was like massive he looked like dave batista he's like bald roided out i'll kick your ass you got

no shot 28 days a week did you see the newest like uh hustle culture meme guy like oh sure oh the water gets up in the morning he's drinking water yeah yeah he's like running next to like big SUV. I think what was the most offensive, ridiculous part of that? I couldn't tell if it was that he brushes his teeth with expensive sparkling water.

Honestly, maybe I want to start trying rubbing a banana bill on my face. I think the journaling is the most offensive part of it. The implication that not only do you get but four in the morning, but I'm going to write my thoughts down at 4.30. Oh yeah, all those guys journal. They always like, get up, sauna, cold plunge, sit down in with their little book and journal for 10

seconds and then go to the gym. The part of these videos I can't get out of my head, but shout out Derek Thompson has this new book Abundance. It's an awesome book. Please go out. You can get that. But Derek Thompson has this point, I can't unsee with all these hustle point videos. Everyone's morning routine. None of them have any other people in their life.

Yeah, yeah. They're all super. There's no women. There's no children. Their ideal day is like, is like pure solitude. Yeah, there's literally no like, I text my mom. Nope. Nothing. Yeah. It sounds brutal. Also, why do all these guys go to the gym with like really nice watches on?

I don't understand that. Because how else will you know that they're rich? They make such a point of like putting on the Rolex and then he's squatting in the gym with his Rolex on. What fuck is that? It's the weirdest thing to me. Austin brings up the funniest moment from that when it is he's like, I think we'll do 10K. He's like on his computer talking to somebody. It's like making deals.

Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I don't think I listened to it. He says that. I think we'll do 10K. What does that even mean? Yeah, that's what we don't know, Craig. So why did he get evicted from his apartment? I saw that. Oh, did he? Yeah. He's getting up too early, making too much noise. I don't know. Yeah, too powerful. I like that also the one shot of him jumping into the pool. He like leaps like eight feet in the air. It does, yeah. It's like an Olympic high dive. I don't know why that was included. I got to say, though, Craig, for as much as it's hilarious and ad. Everyone now knows about this fucking water.

It works. The water was the only winner. Yeah. At this party, I went to over the weekend. Someone had one of those. Can you tell you can't see? Someone brought this fucking water bottle? He washed his face with it. Also, I think I think dipping your face in a bucket of ice waters having a moment.

No, I kind of think it might be good. I started doing stuff like that in the pandemic just because it was, for me, it was just stress of like cold showers. Like, basically, again, it's like the torpedo bat. I have no idea if cold water actually changes anything. But it doesn't matter. No, but it's more the, if you believe that, like, dunking your head and ice water will change, like, I'm stressed. I'm going to do this and then I'm going to reset. I think it's placebo, but, like, in COVID, when I was, like, losing my mind, I would take, like, a really cold shower or something.

Oh, yeah. But I think that was just like that stuff. I think there's some science to that. Yeah. I think there's some science to that. I don't know. I like, like, like, when you're hungover, you know, a big bucket of ice water feels great. That was like Paul Newman's trick.

Paul Newman used to drink, like, 24. beers every night and then show up the next day to set and looked awesome and it would dunk his head in a bucket of ice water in the dressing room for like 20 minutes before doing anything and it works baby the scene from once upon a time in Hollywood when Leo is like all hung over

yeah that's like literally a Paul Newman reference there why did I have to have 12 fucking what was it like whiskey ginsers or whatever is that what was he drinking like 12 whiskey gingers stupid Oh, my God. Let me read one email here.

We'll get out of here. All right. This email is from Jake. This one actually is from Jake. Jake. Sorry. Jakey. There's a guy.

Well, I'm skipping this whole prologue. Basically, there's a guy at Jake's office. We're going to call him Marty. Marty. Marte. Marty is the ultimate means well guy. However, I recently made a discovery about Marty that I simply cannot overlook. Okay.

A few months ago, Marty brought us all pizza. I picked up a slice. and then I realized that I actually wanted a different slice and I could go into why the slice was better but I don't know if we have time but it didn't matter he picked up a different slice and he felt you know so he felt a little weird about it and he's like this is Jake and he's like oh hey guys

like this one looks better don't worry I'm putting this other in back I wash my hands don't worry and Marty is like oh don't worry we're all men here as if men don't necessarily need to wash their hands people who don't wash their hands straight to jail so Jake's like at first I just uncomfortfully chuckled at all

for some kind of joke apart for the course of this guy joke doesn't land it's fine but then one day I'm in the bathroom I'm at the urinal Marty in the stall I'm very judgmental of people that do this by the way

Marty flushes exits the stall walks out doesn't wash his hands yeah you know there's a lot of those people I like I noticed that often yeah same you see a guy just like do his business and walk right out

it's I think that some guys wear it as a badge of honor They're like, I'm collecting antibodies and like in the after times after everything goes down and the grin is down. Like I will have stronger immune system than you. Or they don't give a fuck. I don't know. But so Jake writes. Now we're touching everything they're touching.

Yeah. So he says, I know a verifiable confirmation that this guy who buys all of us lunch once a month and brings in bags of chips that we share does not wash his hands. And he's like, I'm not a germopho. But I don't like you to have shit fingers rummaging through my food and chips. I'm not germifone. Dude. I hope you don't like that. Walking out of the stall and not washing

You know hands is a new level. That's actually. There's a world where maybe he was peeing in the stall, but still, like that's... You're touching all this shit in the stall. Yeah, you know, man. Because there's that, I'm not gonna lie. I'll do my foot.

I'll flush the toilet with my foot. Like, I don't even want to, you know? I don't even want to... I mean, or if you're lucky, it's like an automatic thing. Exactly. And so, well, they're finicky. Anyway, so Jake's point is, now my last day of work is coming up on Thursday.

And I have a Larry David situation where Mike has offered to buy a sheet pizza for my last day. And again, he couldn't meet more. Sheet as in SHIT? Oh, ha, well done. A shit pizza. I can already tell that when the day's over, we part ways forever, Marty's going to want to shake my hand.

And I can't tell you how little I want to touch this guy's hand. He calls me, sir. He, like, I know for fact he's not going to settle for a fist bump. So I have three options. So I tell him he disgust me as a person. I refuse to shake his hand. Probably not. Do I stand firm in my quest for a fist bump?

and fist bump alpha him and not let him shake my hand or do I just bite the bullet, shake his hand, bring a pocket hand sanitizer. Just yeah, just go wash your hands right afterwards. Yeah, it's fine. Shake his hand. No, actually what he should do,

Jake should go to the bathroom right before meeting Marty, not wash his hands, and then shake Marty's hand as kind of a power play, you know? That's good. Yeah, that's good. I like that.

And just watch your fucking hands. Yeah, that's right. A shit handshake. And then eat the pizza. Yeah, then you eat the pizza. Yeah. Just hand him a slice. That's right.

Shake his hand and say, why don't I grab you a slice, Marty? Yeah. That's good. We're men here. Yeah. Maybe sneeze on the pizza. It's all good. We're men.

Yeah. For men. You know us other ringer fantasy football g-gimmel. Email us other stories about dudes not washing their hands. I don't really want to know. You don't want to know? Should we keep it ourselves? Is this like the bugger eating?

No. Book greetings worse. The book greeting thing actually made me not. I do think you should wash your hands before you pee and maybe after as well, but I do think you should wash before. Before? Yeah. Okay.

That way you're not touching your wangings. Weird stuff. Yeah, so it's like you're telling me you're at a baseball game and you're opening, you're grabbing, you know, walking up the stadium, you're touching handrails, you're opening the door, you're grabbing the door handle, and then you're going to touch your penis right after that. Damn. Now I'm going to be like a germophobe.

That makes no sense at all. You should wash your hands and then touch your penis with a clean hand. I agree wholeheartedly. And I am, I'm not a germapho, but I don't like touching any of those surfaces. I will use the inside of my shirt and do it. Me too. I try to do all that stuff. But sometimes it's unavoidable.

And you're like, I got to open this door. While we're here, can I ask you guys a question that I've wondered my whole life? It's crazy that like in a like, like, not crazy, but like a lot of this washing your hand stuff, it's like a chain of custody, right, that you don't want to be broken between the process from becoming dirty to like being. being clean. Like, it's important. So I never understood if you're like in a public bathroom and you have to like turn the faucet on with your hand, the idea that that's like the last step is crazy. Like you wash your hands and then you talk the last thing you do with your clean hands is supposed to grab the faucet that someone who wiped their ass is touching to turn it on. I don't.

That's why they have the sensor ones now. Yes, but I'm saying when they don't, I never touch it. I grab a piece. I don't care about the environment. I'm sorry. I don't care about the environment. I'm sorry. I don't touch it.

Not enough to grab it bare. I never raw dog the handle in a public. I completely agree. It's or I'll use like the back of my like wrist to kind of turn the handle off or something like that. But I completely agree. I'll never put my fingers on the handle in a in a public bathroom because I'm like, this is insane. I'm more worried about the door handle on the way out.

That's the other thing. I like the foot things. Yeah, the foot thing is great. Because there's so many people that don't wash their fucking hands. Uh-huh. sometimes when I'm in like a single stall bathroom and there's people waiting from the outside and I have to open the handle,

I will grab a paper towel, wrap it around the handle to open it. Well, that's Craig. And then quickly ball it up. Yeah. Shoot it in the trash can. Yeah. Why so many places have the garbage next to the door, Craig?

Yeah. So you can grab the handle with the piece of whatever and then just drop it in the thing as you go. Always. Yeah. But it's like, again, think about, I don't know, you live in New York City, you ride the subway every day.

And then you go into the bathroom and, oh God, now I'm going to have to start washing my hands. Think about how proof that is. You're touching the whole world and then your penis. But now here's the question. Are you going to wash your hands back on the way out? I think, honestly, more so for everybody else, you should.

Just so that you don't become. But you're doing it more for social signaling than you think it's necessary. No, I also think there's like a little bit of OCD to it where it just like feels good to your hands after. You've been doing it your whole life. I still think like you can do it just to kind of like go through the motions. and also so you don't become a Marty. For all we know,

Marty washes his hands before he goes to the bathroom. We have no idea. So I think you got to do both because if you're the guy who doesn't wash his hands after he pees, then you become Marty and nobody wants to become a Marty. But you should probably do both.

Because I think watching before makes the most sense for you, for everybody else it makes the most sense after. There was a day when I was an intern at the ringer where I peed next to Sean Fennacy three times in one day. Whoa. And I remember thinking,

it was totally coincidence. And I remember third time thinking, I, Vince was just staring at him across the office drinking water exactly what he does. Yeah, just daring it. I'm like, I really love the work you've been doing, Sean. The second, the first time was like, you know, you don't say anything. The second time was funny and like weird. The third time I was like, oh, my God, I walk in, I see him.

I'm like, he's like, I'm going to get fired. This fucking guy. I'm going to get fired. Like, he's actually, but like you can't turn around, right? Like, that's, that's making it a thing. But I remember thinking I was going to get fired because that's weird. Did you address it? Well, we walked in.

and saw each other and we just like laughed and then like I just was like oh my God like this is the end of my career did you saddle up right next to him the urinal right next to him there's a power move right there's only two urinals oh there was only two there's a divider though which changes things

the divider changes the head you rip it off and you go what's the big deal we're men we're all men here just takes a shit in the urinal what's a big deal we're men Don't be a bitch about it.

Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Krellas. Thank you, Krellas. Thank you, everyone for listening. Thank you, Fantasy for not firing me when that happened. I swear it was an accident. Thank you.

Everyone for listening. Emails for your fantasy football at gmail.com for, and washing stories, just good ones, though. Don't send the weird ones. Actually, weird ones, not bad ones. I don't know. And then what was the other one we wanted?

Emails around fantasy football at gmail. com for, I don't ever remember. Can't remember either. You guys probably remember. Yeah, I don't know. Is it something about French lick or King Gizzard? Oh, yeah. If you can explain the French lick or the salt lick or the whatever.

Are they sold deposits? What are they called? Yeah, the deposits. I don't know. Thank you, Lord. Lord. Thank you the doors. Dude.

Yeah. The band was right there, the Wizard Wizard Wizard. No, but Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer. Oh. Just wanted to bring him up and say that I'm very, very sad to hear about Val Kilmer passing away. just one of the most iconic actors of my generation growing up or whatever in so many great movies. Tombstone.

Yeah, Tombstone. Top Secret, by the way, one of the all-time great, like slapstick comedies. Craig, have you seen that? No. Top Secret. Put that on your list. It's so funny. I think it was the movie that he kind of got discovered by.

Tombstone, Top Gun, Top Secret. The list goes on. There's so many great movies that he was in. He's hilarious in Tombstone. Dude. Doc Holliday. I watched it last night, Craig. I'm in my prom.

He's just sweating. Not me. I'm in my bra. I always think about that when I'm like getting older. I was like, great. You're getting older. You're probably not be, you know, how long can you play basketball? I'm like, yeah, not me.

I'm in my bra. He's like on a 36-hour bender. You must be pretty sore after basketball. I'm like, not me. I'm in my bra. Why, Johnny Ringo. Looks like somebody just walked over your grave. He has so many great lines in that movie.

I'm a huckleberry. There's like this whole big long analysis of what I'm your huckleberry means. And it's like, I think I read somewhere that back in the day, it was like Hucklebearer. So Paul, like Paul Bearer. And so maybe that he was saying that I'm your, I'll be your Paul bearer essentially. Oh, interesting. But yeah, great movie. My favorite, I watched it again last night.

My favorite scene that I think I hadn't really noticed as much anymore was when he gets up, Johnny Ringo or whatever is super drunk. He's talking to to Wyatt Earp and like threatening him and then all of a sudden he comes over. Doc Holliday comes over and he's like, you know, I think is that when he says I'm your Huckleberry and he's like,

we're playing for blood and then he just says, say when. I'm like, that is the fucking, that's a bar. And he's just like ready. He just like wants to do it right there. Just like eye to eye showdown Western stuff. Like it still is so cool. Say when.

Yeah. So good. When?