The Ringer NFL Show - Fantasy Players We Hate but Have to Rank

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

LIVE SHOW in Seattle on August 21: Click below for tickets! The guys react to the news that J.J. McCarthy is expected to undergo knee surgery and briefly check in on the Brandon Aiyuk–49ers situation (2:50). Next, they discuss their least favorite fantasy players to rank this year and explain why they’re avoiding these guys at all costs (13:15). “You guys want to do some emails?” (51:36). Tickets: https://www.ticketweb.com/event/the-ringer-fantasy-football-show-the-crocodile-tickets/13718233 Austin Ekeler, Commanders RB (13:41) Joe Mixon, Texans RB (19:37) Stefon Diggs, Texans WR (24:20) Rhamondre Stevenson, Patriots RB (31:33) Diontae Johnson, Panthers WR (35:36) Rachaad White, Buccaneers RB (41:50) Courtland Sutton, Broncos WR (44:50) Gabe Davis, Jaguars WR (47:15) Tyler Allgeier, Falcons RB (49:56) Check out our 2024 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up, guys, your boy Johnny Bananas here. The Challenge Season 40 Battle of the Eras is finally upon us. I'll be covering every episode with all your favorite challengers on my podcast, death taxes and bananas on the Ringer Reality TV podcast feed and on the brand new Ringer Reality TV YouTube channel where you can find full video episodes all season long. So buckle up. Come along with me as we see who will be crowned winner of the Challenge Season 40 Battle of

the eras. Follow Ringer reality TV on Spotify and subscribe to us on YouTube. Football show. My name is Danny Hyphicke. I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horleback, who is back. You're alive, Craig. We thought you were worried about. I turned 30 and I immediately got quite sick. Welcome. Welcome to the rest of your life. Yeah, I'm back now. I feel like I still sound sick, but that's all right. I'm excited to be here. I listened to your guys' episode from Monday. I thought it was pretty mediocre without me. I'm not going to lie. Thanks, Craig.

Just kidding. You guys did a great job, as always. I really enjoyed it. Yeah, I'm glad that you and your razzly-ass voice can come here today. Okay, today we were discussing players we hate, but we have to rank them. And every year, there's just a bunch of guys that we kind of hate,

and we don't really want them on any of our teams at almost any price you would reasonably get them. And yet we feel like there's like a fiduciary duty where you have to rank them because what am I going to do? Like, not rank Corlin Sutton? Like, that's a little crazy. Just leave them off.

But I don't really want him on my team. I almost, there's almost no round where I do want Coralett and Sutton. But like, I can't do that. I have to rank them. And so this is just where we admit all the players we hate, right? Like, Craig, should we be going the other way and actually just moving all these guys off our boards? Or are we doing like the responsible thing? Well, we debated having the fuck it rankings as like a separate tab on our rankings,

which you can find at fantasy football dot the ringer.com, where it was just like, look, I'm not drafting two of this year. So he just wouldn't even be on my rankings. We didn't do that. But that's kind of what the show is a replacement of having the fucking. at rankings, that's what this show kind of is. Right. D.K., do you think that we owe people the fiduciary duty

to rank the players we hate? Or are we being cowards? Probably a little bit of both, if we're being honest. We're not being cowards because they're on our rankings. They're just lower than we probably would than like many other places would have them. But we'll say, if we really want to just lean into it, we should just take these guys off.

It'd be hilarious to just like completely leave teams off. Someone's like, why isn't Deontay Johnson in your rankings? Like, you guys are morons. You forgot him. And then we're like, we didn't forget him. No, did we? I don't care for Jeob. That's basically just what this is over and over.

So we're going to get to that in a moment. But in an absolute perfect bit of news for the players we hate but have to rank, there's now a quarterback that you guys hate that is going to have to play. So this is from Adam Schaeffer. Recording this Tuesday, August 13, so maybe there's more information that's come out since then. Vikings rookie first run pick. J.J. McCarthy is expected to, did he write B undergo knee surgery? It appears so.

Yeah, be undergo. All right, Chester. Chefter's just going to show. Is it expected to be undergoing? Expected to be undergo knee surgery that will determine how much time he will be sidelined. McCarthy complained about knee sort of us over the weekend

and underwent an MRI on Monday night. So it's Tuesday. Maybe there's already a timeline by the time this you guys are hearing this. But basically, J.J. McCarthy already was expected to sit at some amount of time. Now he will be undergo knee surgery. So, I mean. He tore his meniscus.

Yeah, he has a torn meniscus. So it seems pretty bad. Seems like he may miss this season. My mom tore her meniscus. She was back in like two weeks. She was back on the Vikings. NFL football? Okay.

Well, watching it. But yeah, I mean, I think that Sam Donald. So Sam Donald, we cursed two things yesterday. Dek and I,

Craig's gone for one episode. I joked with D.K. that maybe Sam Donald is the future of the Vikings. And I guess J. McGarthy heard his knee like that day, as I was saying it. And then also we talked about how Tyron Tracy for the Giants

looked like the best running back on the Giants. and he was carted off in an air cast, so he'll probably never play this entire season. So we cursed a couple things yesterday as Craig was gone. But I have to say, I actually think Sam Donald's going to be good on the Vikings. And I think he's going to be good

and I actually don't think, I think it sucks to not have J.G. McCarthy for any amount of time and it's going to delay his development. But I actually think Sam Donald might be better than McCarthy ever would have been this season and I actually kind of believe in Donald resurging his career. I think that's more of a Kevin O'Connell opinion

than it is a Sam Darnal opinion because we're a little bit lower on Justin Jefferson than a lot of other fantasy outlets and it's because we're a little worried about the quarterback situation. But you can kind of go back and look at how Jefferson has performed with quarterbacks not named Kirk Cousins and it's been like Josh Dobbs, Nick Mullins. And he's been just as good, if not better, with all those guys.

And even last year, I think the Vikings were first in the NFL and passing yards, I think, per game. Kai, check me on that. They were one of the top teams in pass rate. And that's still, Josh Jobs played. four or five games last year, and yet they were still kind of passing at a prolific rate. Look, Sam Darnold's better than Josh

Dobbs, I would say. So I kind of do agree with you, Hyfitz, that while I don't think Donald is actually that great of a quarterback, I think in this system with O'Connell, he will be totally fine, and Jefferson will probably be totally fine. D.K., you have to pick right now. We're going to replay this clip at the end of the season. Do you think Sam Darnold is more likely

to be mildly embarrassing and go back to a career backup or get like a large extension, a large contract from a team of this offseason. Where do you stand? What's large? Like Baker Mayfield. Could he get the Baker Mayfield contract? I could see him.

I would probably lean he'll do the Baker Mayfield thing. And we'll still kind of doubt. I mean, do you guys think Baker Mayfield's awesome? No, I just thought I was on an island on this because Baker has shown more than Darnold was. There's a gray area, high fits. That's where we're living. I don't think he's going to absolutely stink because like Craig said, the

the structure of the offense is really well designed. there's a lot of stars around him. They're not stars necessarily other than Justin Jefferson, but, you know, Jordan Addison, T.J. Hawkinson will be back at some point. And so, I don't know. Yeah, I think he'll be fine. I think he'll probably play well enough to get a new contract somewhere else. So while this is devastating news for J.J. McCarthy, for fantasy purposes,

this actually doesn't really change much for anyone on the Vikings offense, right? I think you could make an argument. It's better because I still think Darnold was probably a better option, just in the first year of J. his career than McCarthy himself, I feel like. And Darnold, I thought, played kind of well in the preseason game for whatever that's worth. I don't know. I just look at Darnold, because I'm sure a lot of people are listening and like,

Oh, Reverend just agrees Sam Darnold's good and are screaming right now. But I just look at Darnold and I'm like, Sam Darnold had six offensive coordinators in five seasons. Like his two head coaches, Adam Gase, two years with the Jets, never in the NFL again. Matt Rulve, two years for the Panthers, never in the NFL again. Baker Mayfield was like cut by the Panthers and went to the bucks. I'm like, Sam Donald is two and a half years older than Bo Nix. So I really do, I really do think there's something there where I'm like, all right, he had terrible coaching for five years and I believe.

But to your point, Craig, in a weird way, I'm almost a little more confident in Justin Jefferson because I think that there is a, maybe it's dangerous to say baseline of competency. But like, I don't know. I believe, I believe of the Vikings that actually think Donald's, like I, I don't know. Maybe we can replace at the end of this season. But I think Donald actually is going to be a starter in the NFL in 2025 as well. for your New York Giants, perhaps. Oh, God.

That's the ideal scenario. Justice. I was going to say, like, Hyvitz to your point, I think he's physically very talented. I still think the decision-making is like pretty much always been, even going back to college,

a problem. I think that's probably going to continue this year. He's the only quarterback who got mono. Clearly, his decision-making's not great. Physically talented, mentally, he's hot but crazy, you know? Do you really want to date that person?

Yeah, I don't know if he's hot either. Bad face? Bad face. Bad face. So yeah, anyway, that's Sam Donald. Did you guys see Ian Rappaport's tweet about Brandon Ayuk about an hour ago? I swear, people are just tweeting the same thing about Brandon Ayuk every two days. And then it blows up and then nothing happens.

The tweet was essentially just like, he could go to the Steelers. It's like a deal is in place, but also, who knows? A deal is in place plus they have, so a trade is in place. Plus, the Steelers have an extension. Yep. Sort of lined up for Ayyuk. Yep. And now it's just kind of, apparently it's come down to Iyuk making the decision whether he wants to go to Pittsburgh.

You know, it's fall. Does anyone want to go to Pittsburgh in the fall? It's about to be fall. Is that the updated situation, D.K? That the Niners would take the Steelers trade, but it's up to Ayuk. Or maybe, I don't know, maybe the 49ers are dragging their feet on accepting it. Read the tweet. Rap report has updated on Brinette on Yuk.

The Steelers and 49ers have a deal in a potential trade. And Pittsburgh is in a good place on an IU contract sources say, if San Francisco gives the final sign off, it's done. San Francisco has an offer out to Iook in a long-term deal for him to stay. He hasn't accepted. So when at Rappaport says, let me do this life.

If the Steelers in 49ers, he says the Steelers and 49ers have a deal on a potential trade. If San Francisco gives the final sign off, it's done, which means to me they don't have a deal done. Correct. So here's what I think has happened. And I could be wrong. Here's what I think is going on.

Brandon Ayuk has negotiated with the Steelers who are willing to pay him what he wants. And so now Ayuk has seen what he could get from the Steelers and Patriots. And then the Niners have seen what they could get from the Patriots. But I don't think Ayuk wants to go there. So I think the Niners have seen

the highest trade package they could get and are going to the Steelers and are being like, give us those picks. And Ayuk is seeing what the Steelers would pay him and it would be like, go to the Niners or the pay, like, it'd be like, give me that. And so now there's just this little standoff of like, well, who's going to bend?

And I don't know. I think that's why it's going. this isn't, I don't know, maybe I'm SAP. Like, look, there's high leverage. They're adults, like they're professionals. They can all handle it. This is bad vibes for Super Bowl team, man. You can say whatever you want, but this is distracting.

I do kind of respect the way San Francisco is handling this, though. They were like, all right, Brandon, you go out, see what offers you can get. We'll hear that. And then we can decide if we want to match that. And then, you know, you would probably come back to us rather than play for any other team, right? You want to win. So I actually kind of like that the Niners were like, go out, get an offer from New

England, get an offer from Cleveland or Pittsburgh or whatever. and whichever one you like the most, then now we can decide if we want to match that or offer something better and require you to return or you leave. But I kind of like that the Niners are keeping the ball in their court this entire time. That sounds good at August,

but I also think that if the Niners do anything short of win a Super Bowl, all you're going to think about is what if we had Brinna and Ayuk because the picks you could get now are the same picks you would get in March. You know what I mean? The Trent Williams-Willi-Perdie, Brayn & Iuke thing, it's like you can only have two of the three

and they're choosing Trent Williams and Brock Purdy, right? Yeah, I think they're picking Purdy because Trent Williams is short. He's like 37 years old. Yeah, he's getting up there. He's going to get a raise. Like they can't do what they need without Trent Williams. He's they're going to pay him. It's really they're picking Purdy's potential stuff over Ayuk.

And I think they probably, I don't know if regret is the right word, but I think they would probably rather have Ayuk than Debo, but they already paid Debo and I think Debo is just not going to age well. I don't know. It's just like, I'm surprised by all this because I just still think Kyle Shanan, like they still think one day at a time, like one game at a time. like he's a coach more than a personnel. I still think he's thinking about winning a Super Bowl this year.

But then there's also like he, I think he also thinks like, I taught you everything you know, and I'll just do that to someone else. I think that's probably an element of that too. But I don't know. I still don't know why Brandon Auk wants to go to the Steelers. No one's explained that to me yet clearly.

Because the Steelers fan. Netflix made a documentary about his two teammates and he's better than Kittle and he's better than Debo. That's why he wants to get paid. That's why he wants to go to Pittsburgh. I get why he wants to leave the, Why does he want to go to Pittsburgh? They'll pay him more.

Barely. New England will pay him more too. He'll probably get more targets there. Steelers are exactly halfway between a Super Bowl team and the worst team in the league. I just, you talks about how he wants to go to a good team. He wants to win. And it's like, buddy, you're on a good team that wants to win. Okay, okay.

You with your Steelers privilege, stop. Don't tell me the Giants fan that the Steelers aren't a good team. I'm just saying, I think it's very odd that he is so fixated on going to Pittsburgh, a team that he's going to see half the amount of targets he saw last year with Arthur Smith, Russell Wilson, and Justin Fields. I just don't, I just don't really get it. Has he talked to George Pickens? Talk to George Pickens.

Do you think he's happy? You think Pickens is having a great time? Pickens is pissed every, every game. Pickens is the most miserable man in the NFL right now. Maybe that's why the Steelers won I, you? Because with Deonté Johnson gone, they only have one disgruntled receiver. Like no Chase Claypool anymore. Yeah, the Steelers are better when the whole offense is a bunch of head cases.

Just piss them all off. Once again, no clarity there. And again, Ayyuk would go down if you left the Niners and Debo would skyrocket for us in our rankings if you left the Niners. Okay. And we mentioned Tyrone Tracy, the Giants running back card it off. That sucks. Okay. You guys want to get to some players we hate but have to rank?

Sure. Let's do it. All right. Craig, since you were on the injured reserve last week, you want to start us off here. And again, these are players that we have ranked and we are lower than them than some other places. But even then we're kind of like, I don't know if we actually still want these people. You just never think about taking them. You don't ever seriously consider them.

You don't ever seriously consider them. Like you kind of like your eyes glossed them over when they're on the board. Austin Echler, I feel like I'm being forced to rank him against my will. But so Austin Echler is on Washington now for those who are just checking in. We have him ranked as our RB 31. And look, to me, he couldn't be low enough. He's now in this offense with Jane Daniels, a rookie quarterback who I think when there is not somebody opened downfield. I think he's going to run a lot.

he's a big scrambler. Echler is 29 years old. He was not great last year. He had a high ankle sprain. There's that famous video of him running at like as fast as I can run, like 12 miles an hour on like an outside run. He looked like the slowest running back in the league. He's just like a mud.

Yeah. And like now his, so his counterpart is Brian Robinson. He was like this young, talented, athletic guy. So I'm just like, man, do I want an aging receiving back on a team with a quarterback who doesn't check down and scrambles with a better. younger counterpart running back,

taking all the carries from him. If you look at week one of the preseason, he basically split the snaps with Brian Robinson. So look, I'm willing to be wrong about this. I think there actually are a few people out there who think that Echler was more hurt than we realized last year and kind of like a Cooper Cup situation.

He might just be back and is still a very useful player. I mean, he's now, Anthony Lynn is the run game coordinator there in Washington, who he was with in L.A. for a while. Cliff Kingsbury often has offenses that utilize receiving backs. So like, I'm willing to eat crow on this and be, it'd be very incorrect. But to me, there's just like a gross film over Austin Echler that I don't want anything to do with.

D.K., do you agree? Yeah. And if you look at the four years prior to last season, so 2019 through 2022, Echler averaged 81 catches a game. He averaged 100 targets. Sorry, 81 catches eight season. He was the number one running back in fantasy two years ago. He scored the most touchdown to the NFL in 2020 and 22 combined of every player.

So he was getting a lot of the goal line work, obviously, most of the goal line work, plus he was averaging a hundred targets a season. And so you talk about ways for him to get back to there. Like, he's got Brian Robinson in front of him. Brian Robinson is probably going to take at least half of the goal line looks, right? Because he's a big physical, like, between the tackle, stepper runner. He's just better in those short yard situations. I just don't think he's going to get anywhere near the target production that he has in the four years previous. if you look at like what the Chargers were doing in terms of

passing attempts to running backs in those four years. They were like top three every season. And I just don't see Washington getting into the top half of the league this year. That would be like generous, I think, especially with a quarterback like Jane Daniels, who in his college, on his college tape, like he was either throwing deep, generally, or scrambling. Like there wasn't a lot of like checkdowns. He wasn't like, oh, I went through my progression and I'm going to dump it off to my running back. Like he's, he's either going to hit his first target or second target and or just start running.

If Bo Nix was the quarterback in Washington, I would be singing a completely different too. Yes. Can I play devil's advocate? Yeah. What if everything you guys are saying is right, but that's why he's going like 90th instead of fifth? Because I, my fear is that this is the, like, we always joke about your friend who hasn't really played, like, watched football in three years, comes into the draft. And it's just like, Austin Ecclure. He's my 10th player.

Cool. That's weird. And then they just win. And it's just like taco from the league would take Austin Echler in the 10th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be a top five player. And I'm basically wondering if there's room

between everything guys you're saying or right, hence why he's going next to like, you know, Giovante Williams. And I do wonder about, okay, well, what if he's just the goal line back and they actually get, and also the Cooper Cup thing is good because, all right, yeah, the week two, he's looked really slow. High ankle sprains are ankle sprains.

They're high ankle sprains. It's basically a different injury. It's like you were joking with Bill on a show the other day about a pulled hamstring, like should be called torn hamstring. high ankle sprain's close to like a freaking knee injury that it is like it's not like you know I rolled my ankle in high school like it's not like that it's a high ankle spring can be a career altering injury but like that's why he's going 90th so I don't know I think that if he came back

he has the Cooper Cup insane work ethic Austin Eccler he's the one arm pull up guy like he's just he's like widely known as actually pound for pound probably the strongest player in the entire NFL and so that's my one fear is if he was good and we look back we'd be like fuck that was That was dumb. You remember Doug Martin, the Bucks running back? Remember how his nickname was The Musclehamster? Yeah. That should have been Austin Echler's nickname, don't you think?

That actually applies much more aptly to Austin Echler. Hyvin, you're right. I honestly think this entire list is like an irrational hate list of the guys we're going to get into today. Right. But in reality, it might be the Ignorance's Bliss list, where it's like a lot of these guys are unfairly maligned and they might be values, but we hate them for a lot of lot of the reasons why a lot of people hate them. Draft icks. It's like just they give us

the ick for you saw Austin Echler week too. Oh, it's like, you know, he slid into a booth. We saw him run. He looked really Scoached. He scooched into the booths. I saw him failed to mount a horse. My favorite ick is when you see him in the little cape during the haircut and they spin him around. You know, it's a thing that like women

don't like men with fresh haircuts. They think that looks bad. But men think fresh haircuts look great. Men and women have wild different thoughts on hair. And I like men's hair and what it should look like. I, I, I, we've talked about this before, but it's crazy how different men like men think a cool haircut is like you look like a British soccer player. Yeah, yeah. And women want you to look like Kurt Russell in every 80s movie. Yeah, Dean from Gilmore girls. Like that's what they're looking for it. I'm just like, look man. Steve Harrington from Stranger Things. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. All right. Anyway,

I think he's just like, yeah, fuck you guys. All right. I met the modern references, but that too. Should we talk about the next guy?

Yeah, sure. I want to talk about hair more. It's a bangle. We could talk about Joe Burrow. My guy's Joe, Joe Mixen. I understand,

and deep down, I know that he's probably going to get a ton of volume this year and none of this is going to matter. But I just don't really think he's good. I've never really thought he's good. You know what I mean? Like throughout throughout his whole career,

he's always gotten volume. I've almost never picked him in any fantasy draft ever, just because I don't really believe him as a player. And if you look at what he did last year, first off, the Bengals basically just tried to get rid of him. They only got a 2024 seventh round pick in exchange for Joe Mixon. And in part, because he's just never been very efficient last year, among 68 running backs, he was 38th in PFF rushing grade. So he was just like very, very average at best in terms of just what he was doing when he was carrying the football. He ranked 44th in percentage of runs

that went five plus yards. He was 55th in yards after contact per rush, and 59th in past blocking grade. I just don't think he's very good anymore, or maybe he never was. And I understand he's on a very good team. I understand that he's probably going to get a ton of volume. He's not getting, like,

Jamie Pierce isn't really pushing him. Pierce looked awful last year. I don't think he's a good fit for this offense. And so I understand all the arguments in the logic and taking Joe Mixon. I just never even really consider him. and when I see him there on the board. To piggyback off of that, D.K.,

you know what's funny about Joe Mixon is, I do agree with you that there's like this ick to him, this, like, I'm just not interested in Joe Mixon. We just did a fantasy draft with other Ringer employees last week. And Joe Mixon was one running back who just kept falling. Nobody wanted him. Yeah. And so I'm predicting that I think Joe Mixon

is going to be one of the best values you can probably get in fantasy drafts this year. Not saying he's like going to be an awesome player, or I particularly love him this year. However, where we have him ranked, I think you will be able to get him much later than that because I think almost everyone in the world feels the way D.K. feels about Joe Mixon.

I think that's a great call. Honestly, ever since Bill Simmons told us that Devon A. Chan was like a lamb shop or veal chop I've been thinking about them as food. Joe McSin, the way you described him, DK is so right where Joe Mixon, like, does he ever have a remarkable play? Like, he's been in the NFL for like six years.

It's like, you remember, like, it's like, even the game he had where he had like five touchdowns or whatever. It was like, what another one, that cool. He's tater tots. There's just a lot of them. Like his whole profile is he gets a lot of touches. But you ever just had an individual tater tot? Be like, wow, what a tater. Like, no.

They're just there. Tater tots. Like, there's just a lot of them. And I think that show makes it. He just gets a lot of touches every week. And it's never remarkable. But I agree. It's kind of like, yeah. It's. You know, I actually think a lot of people are going to be very upset with your tater tot take. But I agree with it. People love tater. People fucking love tater tots. I think they're fine. They're fine.

Like, I'd rather have French fries. Me too. Oh, easily. You know what it bothers me? There's a reason why Tater Tots haven't taken over French Fries. Everybody loves Tater Tots, but there's a reason why most restaurants still don't serve Tater Tots. And the other thing I hate is that restaurants now give you less portions of fries and Tater Tots because they put it in that little tiny silver fry basket. You know, like, oh, it's a little deep fryer, but it's like half what they used to give you.

And I'm like, give me my fries. You just want it messy, splayed out on a plate? Yeah, five guys style. Well, I didn't fast food places really invent the standing French fry cup? Isn't that like a McDonald's thing? I'm not talking about a cup. You know, I'm talking about the silver friar where it's like, I'm putting on a plate. Yeah, yeah.

That's just trying to give me less. Anyway. No one can. It's American conversation we've ever had. Whatever. Okay. Joe Mixon also on the Texans now. Probably going to get the ball a lot.

You also did that thing just now where you talked about a conversation that we had with Bill over text about Devon A.C.N. being a lamb chop or a veal chop. and I don't think anybody knows what you're talking about. You might want to, you might want to explain that. Bill, okay, so Bill texted us. I thought he said this in a show too. Basically, he said that Devani Chin, we were talking about

how Devon Achen is either like, his upside is literally the greatest fantasy season since like Adrian Peterson or just the biggest bust, like a Kyle Pitts level bust where we talk about him with like he's like the greatest gift from the fantasy gods. Like every time he got the ball in the first month of the season, he was having like 200 yards and all these touchdowns, average 9,000. Yard to carry basically, but also, I don't know, he's 185 pounds and, like, tweaks is the ones that he's going to be useless. And so Bill compared him to, like, a veal chop, which is the highest upside, you know, it's like the fomo if someone else gets it and it's great. High risk, high reward.

Yeah, but if you get it, it's mid, you're kind of like, oh, why did I do that? Yeah, you're like, I got the field chop. Like, man, there was a, there was a burger sitting right there. There was a New York strip sitting right there and I got the, I got the field shop. I've never had a veal chop. It was funnier when Bill said it. Yeah, anyway. So, well, at least everybody has context now. I don't know what food this next. guy is. But the next player I hate that I have to rank is Stefan Diggs, who is also on the Texans. I just think it's a bummer that Nico Collins and Tank Dell are so exciting and fun and are ascending and the vibes are great. And then Stefan Diggs gets traded to the Texans. And already

in week one, he was bitching on the sidelines and like getting it an argument. And it's just kind of like poisoning the well a little bit. And I'm like, well, now all three of them probably can't be good. It's pretty rare that three guys can be fantasy relevant on a team. You've seen it. There's like, there are a few cases over the last, you know, a decade or so of like three guys being fantasy relevant. But right now most rankings have Nico Collins, Tankdale, and Diggs. It's like top 25 guys at the position. And like, sure, that's theoretically possible.

There's also Dalton Schultz, who's a good tight end on the team. Diggs is just like the sixth year senior who's just like still around and kind of complaining about things. He's a little bitter now. And it's just a bummer. So he might even be the most talented wide receiver on this team technically. and yet he's still spoiling the potential of Collins and Dell. So I want nothing to do with him. I'd much rather have Dell and Collins.

The vibes are so much better. Also, Stroud is in love with Tank Dell. It's like his best friend. And Nico Collins is like one of the coolest, most exciting new outer receivers in the league. And then you just have Stefan Diggs just kind of ruining everything. That's exactly how I feel about it too. It's just ruining everything. He's ruining the vibes.

I was feeling so good about the Texans before. Now I'm just like, God, this could unravel. I think a lot of these guys are ranked a little high, to be honest. Like Nico Collins, top 15 guy, you know, Stefan Diggs top 20 guy. That's exactly my fear, though, with Stefan Diggs, where it's like, we want Nico Collins and probably Tank Dell to be better. And obviously, in one hand, it's fun to have Diggs and C.J. Strat be really good, but also, to some extent, depending how you look at it, you also might be like, okay, okay, they're their

grandpa is Stefan Diggs. But I kind of look at it, like, I don't know, back to the friend who hasn't watched football in three years, it's like, oh, Stefan Diggs. with Texas now. Cool. And then also he's in a contract year, which I'm always like, look,

sometimes you get a contract year and you're like, oh yeah, the bills traded him because he is done. And then sometimes you get a contract year and it's Mike Evans who's going to get like 14 touchdowns

because like he's just literally every single day just telling the quarterback like I need to make my money. And I'm a little afraid of going against Defant Diggs who's got like some Jimmy Butlerishness to him. I'm a little afraid of going against Defund Diggs great call. That's my fear.

Yeah. just think most people in drafts when they look at other they're going to see that they can choose between Devonte Smith or Malique neighbors or Stefan Diggs. I just think no one is going to be excited about Stefan Diggs and everyone is going to take the bait on the young guys.

Here's my question. How freaking easy would it be to get a team this year that's like the all the thing that usually works so often that all 20, 21, all three years ago team, you could so easy get Derek Henry and Austin Eckler, Cooper Cup,

Stefan Diggs. You can just get all these guys. And I'm just like, all right, well, we were, we talked about this all last year. We're like, whatever the old guys are just fine and then they were great. And I'm like, all right, I don't know. You know who's a great candidate for that? Who I don't think we have on this list today,

but Keenan Allen is another one that, like, nobody gives a shit about this year. Speaking of it, Keenan Allen, I have a question. Did you see this report from Albert Breer that he's up to 230 pounds? I did. What is this like James Harding? What is we doing? 230 is a lot. Yeah.

Is he converted to tight end? Chicago, give me some insulation for the winter. A lot of deep dish for the guy. What's happening? Yeah. Does anybody know his playing weight last year? No. If you look at like his profile on ESPN, it says he's 211 pounds, but that maybe that's

a little low. Yeah, he's always been a little bit like a thin, not thin, but he's, he's been long, tall and skinny kind of guy. That's very surprising to me because generally speaking receivers lose weight as they get older. Like once you eat your 30s, generally they just want less weight. on their knees. So a lot of guys, like, Adam Thielens talked about this, but a lot of receivers try to, like, slim down and just put us a little stress on their knees as they can as they get

older. So it's funny to see Keenan to go on the exact opposite direction. Kenan's hunkering down for winter. Three, two, 30. He was 206 at the combine. That's, I mean, that was a while ago. 230? How many wide receivers are 230? You know, Ketka, Mattcalf? After you turn 30, you on average gain one pound a year. So you got to be careful there. I heard that stat. I don't know if it's actually true. Keenan Allen and I are both six two. I should just match his weight for the rest of his career.

Isn't that funny to think you're Keenan Allen's age? He weighs 45 more pounds than me. Wow. He didn't really look thick to me in the game. Maybe this is just like much to do about nothing, but I don't know. That report that's circulating now, 230 is slightly concerning. All right. So to circle back on this, we have Diggs 49th and I can't tell if that's too high.

And we have him back to back with Dinktel because we just don't know what with his team. Part of him, he's like, move him up, move him down. Maybe we keep him where this. We're afraid. Let's be honest. We're afraid to pick the Texans receiver that's out. If anything, he's not exciting. When you see him in a draft and it's him or a guy like Devonte Smith, you're not picking digs. You're just not. But if you didn't have him last year, people probably are excited though. Like he was only bad for like nine games. Otherwise, anyone who's having been happy. It was only bad for the entire second half of the season. Only the three months at the end. Other than that. On an offense with a great quarterback in a

high-scoring offense. He was, like, worthless. And it wasn't just like... Worthless. It wasn't just like his... The offense changed and therefore his targets went down. Like, he's still got a time target. He just didn't do jack shit with them.

And his PFF grade plummeted in the second half of the year. Like, should we not be worried that there's like an age cliff here or something? I'm not saying he's bad or washed now. I'm saying I'm worried about that. I'm with D.K. I feel like you either have to believe that he's approaching a cliff or he was hurt at the at the stretch. And so there's no way to rank him right because we don't know. But like, I agree at DK. It's like he could just, he could be the worst pick in the top 50 or the best.

I think he's right there with Cooper Cup. Yeah, that's fine. I'm just saying he muddies the situation to a point where like he kind of just ruins all of it. None of it's fun because of Stefan Diggs, even if he is still good. All right, before we get to our next guy with Fandall, you can get in on the NFL action before the season even starts. There's a ton of great future markets already available on the app like Super Bowl winner, season leaders, player props, win totals and so much more Fandula is the number one sportsbook app to use to bet on the NFL. It's easier to navigate. There are fast bet settlements. You can withdraw your money instantly. And you can find and lock in live bets extremely fast. Again, I'm out on the Bengals. I like the Bengals underers. I like the

Bengals to miss the playoffs. I think subsequently there are some teams. I think the Colts to make the playoffs is good. I like the Colts to win the NFC South. If like the Texans is super popular, but the Colts could be really good. And you know what? The Giant Thunder probably isn't going to fail you anytime soon. There's also a futures parley builder on the NFL tab section with a ton of parlayable regular season props. So visit fandle.com slash ringer fantasy to download America's number one sports book must be 21 plus and present in select states. Gambling problem, call 1-800 gambler or visit RG dash help.com.

Next player we hate but have to rank. Dude, Ramancher Stevenson running back for the Patriots. I just, who cares? I'm sorry. Like, I just, you know what? He's a, Ramoncha Stevenson is a two down back for the worst offense in the NFL. the Patriots are projected by Vegas with the over under totals. You know, this point totals.

Vegas has the New England Patriots projected to score the fewest points in the entire league. We were just talking last week before Craig was 30 and old and sick all the time about how the worst thing in the world is a running back who just doesn't score touchdowns. And I just, it's either Jacoby Percette behind the worst offensive line of the league or Drake May, the rookie behind the worst offensive line of the league. And like, I just don't want to watch this. It's like it's the most that. And honestly, that and also Devin Singletary.

for the Giants, same vibes. It's like, I watch the Giants every week. I can't imagine volunteering to watch the Giants. Like, I just being like, sign me up. And also, it's not going to be from leaked neighbors. And I just put those two guys together. And I'm like, it's the most arrested development, like, two weeks of the season, you're going to be like, I've made a huge mistake.

And these teams can't move the ball. They can't sustain drives. The entire thing you're reading for is like checkdowns in the fourth quarter, garbage time, like just getting a bunch of, like, racking up cheap PPR points. I'm like, I don't want to live that way. I'm out. I mean, you talk about him like he can't catch a pass. He did have 38 receptions last year.

He's been a pretty good pass catcher. He's good. His path to being relevant in fantasy is still as a pass catcher. That being said. Two down back. That's fair. I'm talking about him like as Brian Robinson or saying. You're right.

They have Antonio Gibson, who I think could take some of that work. I don't think he, Ramandri's knee and the health profile to play all three downs. But you're right. He has the passing done stuff. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but I don't. Probably not. Probably not.

I think the vibes around the Patriots offense this preseason are like horrific. The offensive line is not. good. They're depending on rookies everywhere. It's like, I like Javon Baker and I like Jalen Polk. Their second round are more than most people. And I'm like, that's not a plan, though. They might be bottom three in points this year. This is the right call. This is right call. And this is coming from someone who I love Romandre like this, today's whatever show is people we hate. I don't hate Romandre. I just don't think he's probably a very good pick this year. Yeah, I think trying to like squeeze points out of Romandre on the Patriots season is like trying to squeeze juice out of a rock.

you score, you know, you have a good fantasy season when you score a lot of touchdowns. The Patriots might score the least amount of touchdowns in the league. So like trying to hope for like some kind of a Rashad White-esque season out of Vermandre Stevenson, to me, does not seem as, it's not seem in the cards. So I'm with you. I don't want to root for anybody on this Patriots offense. I don't want to watch anybody on this Patriots offense. So I will be happy to avoid it.

But again, it's like, what if nobody drafts him? He's going to be like mixing. No one's going to draft this guy. It's going to be the eighth round and I'm going to be staring at him and like Taji Spears and I'm going to be like, God, should I take Remandre Stevenson?

Probably. The difference though is that Joe Mixon's going to be the main running back on a good Texans offense. Joe Mixon has had this hamstring injury but he's still got a month to go before the season. But like the Texans offense is good and look at the Patriots and I'm like,

if you believe the Patriots offense will actually be okay, he's a good value for Ramonji Stevenson. And if you believe the Patriots will be so bad that he'll have to dump down to Ramandre Stevenson all the time. It'll be like Camara last year with Derek Carr. when he's injured and just like all these things. I'm like, I don't know. I don't want to plan for the offense to be so bad that he's

going to be great in the fourth quarter. And I don't want to plan for like the Patriots to be good when they're like disgusting to watch. Also, awful to watch as the team. Like you feel dumb that you took someone on this team. It's hard to explain to your like your significant other doesn't play. Be like, yeah, yeah, I took a guy in this team, the worst team in the NFL. You're like, well, why did you do that? I don't know. I hate when I have to explain to my wife who I selected in the ninth round of fantasy dress.

Do you do that last? Yeah, every Sunday. show me your team, Craig. I want to know more about this teaming. She's like, how did Rashid Shaheed do this week? And I'm like, I should have gone with Tyler Lockett. You do know that feeling I'm talking with, though, where you're watching the Giants and you're like throwing to Malik neighbors.

And you're like, no, give it a Devon Singletary. And you're kind of like, how did I get here? What am I doing with my life? Like, what am I doing? No. Anyway, DK, who's your next guy that you hate but I have to rank? Look, this is another player who, logically speaking, is probably a good pick. But I just do not like having him on my team.

I don't want to have this experience. I love that these are secretly all good picks. Every player. They should be like this, but we just don't want to pick them anyway. This is why we're ranking them. We feel we hate these players. We don't want to do it, have anything to do with them, but it's our responsibility to rank them because, I mean, in some cases, maybe all of these, they're going to be good players. Mine's Deontay Johnson for the Panthers.

Speaking of bad offenses, first of all, I know that he's going to be the number one. I know he's probably going to be a target hog. He's going to just dominate, you know, in the middle of the field, quick early plays. he's a really good route runner. He's exactly what Bryce Young needs in this offense. I agree with all that. I just don't want to have the Deontay Johnson experience anymore. I'm just off that train.

He gets hurt once a game, lives to the sideline, miraculously returns. It's just stressful. It's a stressful time to have him on your team. Plus, I just think, generally speaking, his touchdown upside is probably not very high.

The most touchdowns he's ever scored in a season is eight, and that was three years ago. And again, it's like, you're really, really hoping that, like one of the worst offenses in the NFL is like going to get you through the week. I just don't like the idea of like relying on this guy for anything on your team. He gets hurt every game.

He gets hurt every game. We just texted the other day because he got hurt in practice. I just can't do it. I'm done. Drafting to keep the food analogy going, drafting Deontay Johnson is like ordering fish and chips at a dive bar in the Midwest. Where you're like, on theory, I like, I like fish and chips. This sounds good.

If they nail it, I'll be very satisfied. But the odds that they do that, quite low. This is like when Mays and Kevin Clark made me eat oysters in Indianapolis. Like oysters, probably a good food to some people, not for me personally. Lived your whole life in Washington State. I live like 20 minutes away from one of like the best oyster farms in the country, literally, Taylor Shellfish. And then my first time ever eating oysters was in Indianapolis at like this bar underground. It was like a hooters.

I don't even, I don't remember the name of this place, but I was actually afraid I was going to get sick. I was like, this is good content. Hopefully I don't die from food poisoning. Yeah, that's what Deontay Johnson is dicey seafood. Yeah, dicey seafood. Should we have a live show in Seattle next week? Should we get you some oysters? Absolutely not.

So we made everybody at our LA live show. We provided them with Oreos to eat. We provide everybody in Seattle with oysters. The logistics to that would be amazing. Wait, did you guys see the Orivers? Wait, so I thought this was fake at first, which I think is a really good bar for like where Oreos are at now. This is real.

Oreo is unveiling. Shout out everyone who sent this to us. Lorenzo tweeted at us, but Oreo is partnering with Coca-Cola Zero for red Coca-Cola Zero-Favored Oreos. Honestly, sounds good to me. Does Coke zero mean zero sugar or zero calories? Zero, oh, wow. I guess Diet Coke is zero sugar, so it's zero calories.

No, it's Coke. Coke zero. Okay, wait. So Coke zero, I could do this. Both Coke Zero and Diet Coke are sugar-free and calorie-free. So what's the difference? The taste. I'm serious.

It's the taste. No, I know, but like what is... I know they're different drinks. Because there's a crazy substantial amount of people who drink Coca-Cola and want a sugar-free version, but don't think Diet Coke take. taste the same. And so they had to invent it entirely. It doesn't, yeah, it doesn't. They don't think that. It doesn't taste the same. Well, I meant they don't think it tastes good enough to, it doesn't scratch the itch. So it's really just a different version of Diet Coke. Yeah, it's Coke. Yeah,

it's Diet Coke that tastes what their attempt to be exactly like Coke, whereas Diet Coke is like a distinct thing. Wasn't the original plan of Diet Coke to taste exactly like Coke just diet? Yes, but they- But it's impossible, Craig. It's too good. I don't know. Sugar is too good. So they They made Diet Coke to try to taste like regular Coke, but it ended up tasting actually quite different, but people loved that. Yes. But some people hated that.

So they're like, all right, we need to try again and make a diet version of the regular Coke that actually tastes more like original Coke. Yes. I've got to give it a different name. What's your take on diet soft drinks? What's my take on diet soft drinks?

I think the name is an abomination, and they should not be called diet anything. Also, the flavor dog shit. All, I feel like all diet drinks taste like shit. I can't speak to that. I'm not a big soda guy. I think they all are kind of, I don't know.

Just out here with your poppy. I think Diet Coke tastes just as good as regular Coke to me. Oh, what? No. I mean, the ghosts right now are just screaming. Well, so anyway, the reason why I asked all of that is, is this Oreo going to be zero calorie or zero sugar? No. Well, it says zero sugar.

Maybe that's on the can. You know, it's so funny, there's a picture in this of Oreo Coca-Cola Zero Sugar and a box of Oreos. And it never occurred to me that there would also be Oreo-flavored Coca-Cola, but I'm realizing that I think that that might also be happening. That didn't occur to me until just now.

It's a, if they're selling a drink and cookies. Yeah, the Oreos have, the Oreos have the little freaks, but there's also like a very elaborate picture of the Coke Zero Oreo-flavored can. That would be nuts. Oh, yeah, it's Coke Oreos and Oreo Coke Zero.

Oreo Coke Zero, that's going to be a drink. That's wild. But still zero sugar or zero calories. Yeah, I don't want to know how they do that. So here's the, so the, a thing that freaked me out, so they did this study where they gave rats a choice between food and cocaine. And all the rats picked cocaine until they starved to death. Yeah. And then they gave the rats a choice between cocaine and saccharin, which is what's in Coca-Cola.

And the rats all chose saccharin over Coca-Cola, over cocaine until the guy. Oh, shit. So like, yeah, that's, I think that's how it's zero calories. But good shit. It tastes good. Yeah, it tastes good. Anyway, what we're talking about? Well, I was talking about Deontay Johnson.

Oh, yeah, Deontay, yeah. I mean, I understand he's probably a good player, but I just, I'm done. I can't do it anymore. Unlike the rats. Okay, next up, Craig, give us a guy that you hate but have to rank. Rashad White on the Bucks, there's nothing less exciting to me than Rashad White. He's kind of why, he's why fantasy football is lame because he is the argument to the, to say, like, you don't need to draft good players.

You can just draft the guy who's going to get the ball the most. He just spammed his way to being a top 10 running back last year. It's like the guy, like when you play Super Smash Bros. with somebody and they just play with one character and do one move the entire time

and you can't beat him. That is like the fantasy version of what Rashad White is where it's just like, he just got so many carries and targets that he ended up just being a top 10 guy and tons of catches. Yeah, he's why I hate PPR in a nutshell

because the bucks have literally dead last in rushing yards last year and he was a top 10 running back. I totally wins. He had 64 catches. But if you look at all the underlying metrics, he's the most mediocre, all those mixing stats that DK read,

just copy and paste those for Rashad White. It's the same thing. And look, you know what? They drafted a guy, Bucky Irving in the third round, a running back who could potentially maybe steal some snaps from him. He's kind of a smaller guy.

Rashad White's actually a little bit bigger. But look, they have a different offensive coordinator. I guess things could be different. I don't know. Maybe things could be exactly the same. Maybe Rashad White is actually, once again,

super undervalued. and he's going to get 300 plus opportunities and be a top 10, top 15 guy. But to me, it's not the way I want to do it. Craig, I mentioned this on a different show, but Rashad White had almost exactly the same amount of touches last year as Christian McCaffrey. Like, that to me is just like,

it's so depressing that that's the case. They just didn't have any other running backs. Like, they just didn't have a plan. And now they had drafted Bucking Irving. And yeah, he was just there. He's just the last guy at the bar, but it's not going to be a thing. I like Bucking Irving, too.

He looked pretty good in this first preseason game. I think he could end up stealing some of the workload quite a bit of... Hyphids, what would shock you more if the season ends and once again, Rashad White got 270 carries, 70 catches, and was the RB8 on the season, or completely drops off the map. The team is once again terrible at rushing. Bucky Irvin splits time with him and Rashad White's not a top 30 back. I mean, if you flipped it to like top 25, like, yeah, I wouldn't be shocked if Rashad White was that.

I mean, look, Bucky Irvin can always suck and he could just be there. like and Rashad White could be that. But he's he's top 10 by volume. I think that's important. Like on a week to week basis, you know, a different player that's elite. Plus the replacement is usually better on the full season often than like

Rashad White. And I think that's there's a little like, like his like there's a little roster cloggerness to it. It's weird because he's like the, he's like boring Kieran Williams. Kyrin Williams is also on the field as much as McAfree and getting the ball as much as McCaffrey. And also because the Rams ran out of options behind Kieran Williams and everyone

behind him got hurt. Now they can play quorum because you can't play them that much. But to your point, like the buck's still don't have a ton of going on by other than Bucky Irving. Oh, it would take us Bucky Irving for that to happen. But also, yeah, if he splits it normally, it's like you don't really want Rashad White at all. He's just lingering. Lingerer.

Yeah, I don't want lingerers. This next guy have his lingerer. Okay. Corlin Sutton, receiver for the Broncos. You hate this guy. No interest. Not for me. I feel bad for Sutton.

Sutton's the new. Why? Alan Robinson. Just, oh, yeah. Kind of, like a really good player who's just constantly either hurt or stuck on some bad team. And yeah, and that's the thing. You're right.

I do actually like him in real life. Honestly, Corlin Sutton's like in the same mold as a worst version of Mike Evans or D.K. McCaff or George Pickens, like deep ball contested catch guys. Like, and that's why I worked well with Russ, right? Like he was almost like Coralyn Sutton had some. He was perfect fit. Yeah.

Yeah, 10 touchdowns last year. I don't think he had 10 in the last four seasons combined. He had some ACL entries. But like, I look at Corlitt Sutton. And everything that worked last year when he had the 10 touchdowns, it's the opposite now. it's Russell Wilson was throwing Corlton Sutton Sutton like low percentage balls for a ton of yards

and now crazy ass touchdowns too yeah crazy ass low percentage throws that Russell Wilson can hit like he's just like a three true outcomes baseball player just hitting a home run every time Bo Nix is just singles and bunting Bo Nix is just doing high percentage throws for nothing downfield yards after the catch

Coralton Sun is not a yards after catch player Coral and Sutton doesn't make people miss Colin Sutton probably of like full-time regular NFL starters is about as honestly he's up there with like Adam Thielit. He doesn't make people miss anymore. That's not his game. And I just look and I'm like, even though I actually respect him as a real player,

I've never really liked him in fantasy. I'm like, I don't want him on my team because I don't think he fits on its real team. I don't think he's going to be happy in this offense. And you have to watch Bow Nix. Even if Bo Nix is good, I don't think he's going to be good throwing the Corlitt and Sutton. I don't want him. Also, not for nothing, but Sean Payton rotates his receivers. Yeah. He's got to get little Jordan Humphrey

his snaps. He's got to get Brandon Johnson his snaps. Make up another name. Make up a name. Michael Bandy, his snaps. All right, that's a real guy. Josh Reynolds is on this team now. I mean, yeah, it's frustrating. We have Quillin Sutton,

113th at fantasyfutball.com, and that's a good example of, like, he's going to get stats. It's like at some point you have to rank him. You have to rank him. But like, man, there's all these other, like Jonathan Brooks,

Rashid Shaheed, Blake Corum. There are guys that literally see if they're good and rather cut if they suck. We have to keep Quentin Sutton all the year. And at some point, it's like a, it just clogs. It's cholesterol. he'll have two touchdowns week one.

Yeah, he's going to be incredible. He's going to be Josh Jacobs this year. Watch him winning fucking MVP at receiver. Called him fantasy cholesterol. All right, yeah, good guy. Good guy, though. Good guy, though. All right, next up, D.K.

Gabe Dave, I'm sorry. I know for a long time. Gabe Dave was our guy. Not anymore. I'm out. I'm just like preempting any temptation I have to draft Gabriel Davis. And there's some talk right now because he basically played all the snaps with Trevor Lawrence in this first preseason game.

He's going to be one of the two top two receivers on this team in terms of snaps. I can envision myself or people like me talking themselves into Gabe Davis because of this. People like me. People like me. And I'm just like, I'm telling you, don't do it. You're a young man.

Like, just give up on this. It's like the, what's the Adam's as long as you can. Never leave. Yeah, just stay away from Gabe Davis is my thing. He's never produced. better than a 17% target rate in his career. Like he's one of the most prolific deep threat players in terms of his yard,

his air yards per target last year. I think he was second in the NFL. These are low probability deep balls essentially. And that's like his specialty. He's going to be stretching the field. He's not going to get a ton of targets. He's not going to get a ton of catches. He's going to have some touchdowns.

There's going to be days. There's going to be weeks where he flashes. But I just don't want that type of player in managed leagues. Like maybe, I mean, I could understand getting him in basketball because he's probably going to have a couple of spike weeks, but just trying to have that every week. I don't want to be a part of that. Gabe Dave is going to be one of the most popular waiver,

one of the most added and dropped players in fantasy. Yeah, yeah. Excellent call. Yeah, he's going to be on everyone's team. Yeah. Also, Brian Thomas Jr., probably going to be like really good, the second half of the year and completely bury Gabe Dave. So, yeah, I just, I don't want any part of it.

Gabe Dave is going to be working the streets a lot this year. What's a word for the guy who'll be added and dropped? most in leagues. Work in the streets. Work in the streets as different connotations, Craig. I think that's what he meant. That's exactly what I meant, D.K. He's going for village bicycle rides, but I feel like, I don't know.

He's a prostitute? He's a out in 2024. A fantasy prostitute, if you will. I didn't say that. You did. He's going to be on a lot of teams in a short amount of time, is my point. A fantasy prostitute. They're dates.

I only picked her up so I could use the carpool lane to get to the Dodger game. That's what the curve? My mom had a co-worker Forever Go that had a sex doll in his car Oh yes, I heard about this. Like when I think they first unrolled HOV Lanes. God, that's so good. And yeah, it worked.

And it worked. Well, in many ways. Yeah, geez. Yeah, you get stuck in that traffic. Anyone else you guys just out on? Players you hate. Last one. This is a spite one.

I have nothing against Tyler Algier. I just really hope he doesn't touch the fucking football this year. Like, don't let him. have any touches. Just to set up, just to make a point. DK, right now, if you could snap your fingers and Tyler Algier suffers like a grade three hamstring, hamstring pull, would you, would you do it? I would think about it. Yeah, you would do it. When I was picturing Tyler Algier, I was picturing Alas Snow. He's like, the guy that you hate, he got the girl, but also he's kind of cool. Like, I acknowledge, Tyler Alger, kind of cool. He's actually really good. I just don't want him to touch

the football ever again. Just because of everything that happened last year, I don't want to, I just don't want to have to like look up in week three and he at tyler alger has 50% of the red zone touches again and i just want to like forget pull my hair out i don't know look up in week three and it's like you stimulate the clitoris and if you get the anus as well that is the dream isn't there a line from forgetting sir marshall where he's like fuck you're cool yeah that's right after he's like it's a really gothic uh shoot diamond neil diamond he's like fuck that's exactly what i was going for Fuck you're cool. Fuck you're cool.

Like you don't want to acknowledge. I don't want to ever acknowledge Tyler Al Jir is cool because I want Bjaan Robinson just to get every single carry. Don't give him any touches. And so this is like my spite. I'm not going to, I'm never going to draft him just because I'm projecting that on him. Wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shirt. Dude, last year, Al Jir, top 20 in broken tackles. He's one of the best pass blockers.

He's really good on screenplays. Really reliable around the rest of him. We should just take Tyler Eljir. I'm just convincing me. I know. But I refuse. Alda Snow, great hang. This one of his fucking demo.

Okay. Let's do some emails. Did you get it? First of all, just tags. We do tags now along the emails. Just things people tag this in on Twitter. I'm Danny underscore High Fitzcrack.

It's Craig. It's Craig. Rick, B. Kelly. First of all, Will Levis did this mayonnaise commercial that I swear is just the Zoolander Mermaid Merman commercial, but like it's unbelievable.

It's a perfume commercial. I know, but it's like the music is like this. It's honestly, it's kind of amazing. It's Will Levis selling the mayonnaise. Mayonnaise perfume. Water is the essence of wetness.

And wetness is the essence of beauty. Dude, do you guys see this? He's shirtless. He's out here in a bathrobe on the field, just eating helmets. He's like doing the whisper thing. Your move, Bijan and Dejan mustard. Let's see what you do next. What would it take for you to wear mayonnaise cologne?

I kind of want to smell what it tastes in the water. What would have to have to smell what it smells like? Should we wear it to the live show? Do you think we can get it within a week? I don't think it's a real product. I mean, if Arby's made vodka, I feel like they can make a few bottles of this collo. Maynays is gross. I'm sorry.

Oh, come on. Stop. Like, I'll have it on a sandwich, but he was just eating mayonnaise on bread and then he just, like, dipped his finger in the mayonnaise and ate it. Like, that would make me gag. I have a theory. That would make me gag. People who say mayonnaise don't like it. But people who say mayonnaise like it.

Sure. that works in this small sample, I think. Should we do a poll right now on Spotify? And it's, I say mayonnaise and I like it. Manez and I don't like it. Mayonaze. Should we just do that right now? This is like the wiping quadrants.

Oh, yeah. Wow. That was like actually, yeah. Very, very revelatory. Yeah. More than dozens of us. I had a lot of conversations with just like my friends later that week. And some shocking, shocking results.

9%. I believe it was 9% of all people who voted stand and walk. There's a lot of people standing. I did not know this was a thing. It's like 800 million people around the world. So nine out of 100 people are standing and wadding. Grab your head around that. What are people getting up to in this world is what I want to know. So when the pandemic happened, Ben Lindberg who works here at the ringer made the case that like,

we think of food, water, shelter. And Ben Lindberg made the case that the pandemic, that the run on toilet paper is proof that it's food, shelter, water, and also things to wipe your ass with. Because people actually bought it at like a higher rate than food because people were so afraid. And so I think, I don't know, man. I think people care.

Being really afraid that you're like not going to have anything to wipe your ass with is kind of funny. It's like a basic human need. So when did we start doing that as a species? You know what I mean? Oh, interesting. Wiping our ass, as you're saying? You know,

species use like, are we the only species that actually have a third party object to do this? We're the only species that wears clothes. Upright. So how long went between us walking upright? That wears clothes. But how long went between us walking upright and us like starting to use other things to wipe our butts?

Like how long elapsed so people were like, we don't want to live like this anymore? Like 90% of, human history went by. Probably more than that. No idea. It's when we started going to work. That's when.

When it became important that we couldn't smell like shit all the time. I feel like that should have been important earlier. Like, were they people wipe, like a thousand years ago, people were doing it, right? Wiping their ass? Yeah.

Yeah, but not with toilet paper. Yeah, without toilet paper, but it was something. Yeah, with something. I don't even want to say it. Email us at Rearfancyfutball at gmail.

com if you know what this is. I have a question for you. is there anything now that Craig you're 30 now you probably have no shame is there anything you're embarrassed to buy at the grocery store because I was just thinking it's funny that we're not embarrassed to buy toilet paper I've never once been embarrassed by toilet paper

but I like I could remember being like a little like self-conscious like yeah buying condoms or buying you know whatever but it's funny that we're just like hey look this is what I'm going to use to wipe my ass later I think I would say if we had to do like if we were stealing pardon my takes

Mount Rushmore and it was like Mount Rushmore if things you're embarrassed more of things you're embarrassed to buy at the grocery store, which they should do. Yeah. Maybe they already have. I would say like, I would say like maybe hemorrhoid cream. Ooh. Yeah.

It would be one. A laxative maybe. I'm trying to think of what else would be a little bit. Like if you bought tampons, would you be embarrassed about that at all or no? No, I don't think so because I think you would kind of be seen as. Like I have a woman. I have an ally. Yeah.

It's basically like, what would you not want, what item would make you want to avoid eye contact with the cashier. Right. I felt that way about White Claw for a little bit. That's funny. White Claw is pretty normalized now. So I've been trying, I've wanted to talk to you about this forever, D.K.

I feel like White Claw worked, but they're like a generation of like toxic masculinity had to pass because I feel like I'd never heard of this, but I guess your generation had this thing called Zima. Yep. And Zima was like basically, just White Claw, but the men didn't want to drink Zima

and it was like too feminine and it didn't work and it like went out of business. And now White Claw has flown because Zima walked so white Claw could fly. But like I'm not going to lie. I don't think people under 35, a lot of people under 30 have never heard of Zima, like didn't know it existed.

I've never heard of it. Wow, you never even heard of it? It did become this is a tell us about the war grandpa section by the way. Yeah, tell us about the war. Tell us about the war. Tell us about Zima. I mean, I actually don't think I've ever had a drink of Zima. But it was the punchline, like, drink back in the day of, like, you know, it was the non-cool thing to drink at a party.

It's like the lowest possible drink you could bring to a party is Zima. But lowest as in like the grossest or like the least masculine? Probably, yeah, the latter. Okay. When did Mike's hard lemonade start to mix in? I think after Zima. I think there was a correction. but Mike's Hard Lemonade

was that was that deemed uncool by men or was Mike's Hard Lemonade cool I'm trying to remember I don't think it was like uncool it's definitely not like on the Zima level it's like middle it probably was never cool they really branded the hell out of Mike's Hard it's like hard lemonade

if you show up in white cloth someone might make a comment but like people will drink the white claws or high news like men will drink them but I feel like and yeah I feel like no one was drinking the Zima at least you can make the argument that you're just having a cocktail on a can a white claw is a seltzer you know I don't think I've ever had a white claw

no they're not that good better than vitamin water yeah did you see that we joked about vitamin water being irrelevant when we did the dodgeable rewatchables and then immediately a bunch of people got vitamin water ads that apparently running as I was listening to the show that I was not on yesterday or two days ago the Monday show the midroll featured a vitamin water ad. Whoops. It's good. Love it.

But it was not a, we didn't read that ad. It was a general ad across Spotify. So not our problem. Real quick. Last email I want to read here. This is from, I mean, a bunch of people pointing this out. Shout out John and Ben. John.

John Ben. We did this episode yesterday without Craig. And I was talking about how Craig former 13th quarterback for the Chargers, the fourth team quarterback for the Chargers, Casey Bowman, went to Augustana. Augustana. Augustana. And I'm not a stand, apparently, because apparently there are two Augustanas, and I read the wrong fucking schedule.

Because apparently Baumann went to school at August. This is from Ben. Bowman went to school at Augustana University in South Dakota. But I read the schedule for Augustana College in Rock Island, Illinois, which is two hours or so southwest of Chicago. And the best part is I asked D.K., which side of the Mississippi River is on? And apparently, the schedule I read from is 200, The place where August State of College is is 200 feet from the Mississippi.

Dude. Oh, wow. That's amazing. 200 feet is very close. Remember when we did that equidistant thing between, was it Detroit and Austin and L.A.? It was Austin, L.A. and somewhere else. Detroit, I think. Yeah, I think it was Detroit.

They were like actually literally. They were like within 50 miles of one another. It was where Nick Foles was born. And the answers were so. it was basically we accidentally created a perfect equilateral triangle. That is the point where the hospital with which Nick Foles was born at in the

Austin City limits would have determined who won. What bank of the Mississippi is assigned? Now I got to know. Wester East. I don't know. 200 feet or so from the Mississippi River. Also, I got, my phone was blowing up with so many emails calling Hyva's an idiot for getting the Augustana

college wrong. Has you ever heard of that school? I feel like that's a fine mistake. I was like, all right, hyvitz, that's okay. That's an understandable mix-up. I'm doing the show. I'm Googling Augustana College. The register academic calendar course loads are popping up.

I mean, if you had done it with Notre Dame and Notre Dame College, I would understand that. Look, we're held to a higher standard now than it used to be. Yeah, exactly. Hyphins in particular. It's just really fun to point out what he's wrong. One of it, one email said like, Hyvitz, you idiot. This is Augustana and Illinois. And I was like, okay.

we can give him a break I think Craig did you see that they played Argyzstanagh College played Carthage Yeah It's Carthage Where's Carthage

Illinois? North Africa I think I don't know No I meant To college Yeah It's a long distance trip Tunisia yeah

Okay All right let's get out of here Thank you DK Thank you Craig Thank you Kai for producing this episode Thank you Jack For help on the scenes Thank you, everyone who got into our rankings of fantasy football.

Dot the room.com. Email this at ring and fantasy football at gmail.com. Vote in the poll at Spotify. If you're not even listening on Spotify, go to the Spotify app. Vote in our poll. We'll figure out how to word it after the episode. Please vote. We just data.

It's for the people. We have to figure this stuff out. mayonnaise. What did you say, DK? I say mayonnaise. Craig, I think you're honest. Craig. People say mayonnaise.

What do you say, Craig? Mayonnaise. But you say, what do you say? I want to know the regional break days. You have like a transatlantic accent. Mayanase. I don't say that many syllables. Mayanase.

No, I don't even add a third syllable. It's just mayonnaise. That's even worse. That's weird. I don't think anyone says that to be it. Maynays. Mayonaze. I don't say mayonnaise.

It's just mayonnaise. Now what? Do other people even say it the way TK says it? I've heard people. It's like the people who say pillow. No, but I don't say pillow. That's just an accent. That's just Chicago like like like like, you know, tour.

It's just coming. out like two words that's just like a mayonnaise I'm curious what the regional breakdown for me I love mayonnaise mayonnaise manas I think it's great I think it's better than cats how you spell mayonnaise why is it why is it called mayonnaise well we could do that we could do that for hours and hours and hours true let's do it like why is myestro spelled like that

you know maestro's just like what that's weird right that's yeah no I get I get the maestro one all right thank you Lauren Thank you talking heads Nice Wow I can't believe That hasn't come up before Probably has

I think we're like Truly running out of bands That was heard of Do you think Do you think we should ever Switch it Where one of Hyfitz our eye has to name a band

Or should we just keep it on DK forever I'm sick of fucking picking bands man Should that be what we do for trivia this year Is the winner of trivia gets to pick the name of the band honestly though I kind of like the idea of you guys picking the bands is that really a prize I want to talk about some of the bands you guys like you know what are the kids listening to what are the kids fucking on

the kids are like kids are listed at chapel roan like never heard of rowing but yes it's it rowing fuck but I I listen to a lot of old music so I probably wouldn't even know Craig's an old song somebody emailed us being like you guys know flowrida spells Florida right dude I never wanted to make fun of someone emailed us. But that, I didn't, I wasn't going to read it on the show, but that person, I just,

every fiber of my being, I was, I just wanted to apply. And I'm sorry for listening right now, but yeah, when they're like, did you know flow ride is Florida? That's why we said it's like the best name ever. And I'm like, I think, unfortunately, I think everyone knew that except you. That's how I must, that's how everyone must feel listening to me. If you never read the name, I can understand it, the second you read it. Yeah. It's, it's just says Florida. Well, there's a space, but yeah. There's, is there a space or a dash? space. That's a dash.

No. No. No one knows. I don't think anyone. No, I know. Scholars space paid. Look, I know FloRida, okay? There's no Dash.

He's right. It's a space. Wow. He's got it. Wow, this photo and I Google him, he's holding a guitar with just the Florida logo. Like, not logo. Jesus.

The Florida logo. I think the dash would encourage people to say Florida too much. You need to separate it. Whoa. Okay. If you Google Florember. One of the first photos that will come up is this like jam-encrusted flow with the Florida as the F. And I'm like, this should be Florida states like freaking low- I don't know how this is not a logo for like a college.

It's just like Florida turned into an F. Right. It's unbelievable. Where's he from in Florida? He's from Carroll City. What college is close to that? He should go up against Pipple and then he should make, you know, Central Florida. Sponsored.

Flooride Arena. Wow, that's good. That'd be pretty cool. That is good. It's Carroll Cities and Miami Gardens. Is that in Dade County? So maybe he could just do the U. Maybe he could do Miami.

It's probably a little expensive. I'm zooming out. I think it's more expensive than Florida International University. If Pitbull can only afford FIU, I'm not sure what Florida can afford. Yeah, it's North Miami. It's between Hollywood and Miami.

Remember that whole Hollywood thing? Hollywood Brown. Remember we had Kevin Clark come on. It just named places in Florida. That was maybe my favorite. My favorite football at all thing on this show

was just naming towns in Florida. I think we gave him six in a row of two places in Florida to lie. Like six for six. There's a college

called Barry University in Miami Shores, Florida. Florida. Get on that. Barry. B-A-R-R-Y. No idea

if they have a football team. But, well, if there's two Augustanis, we can get a Barry. Barry. There's a place

called Boca Raton. Just rat mouth. Well, I mean, that's kind of famous. Yeah, Boca Raton's huge. I know. Retirement Central. I know, but I'm saying the translation is funny. Is that what Boca Raton means?

Raubo. Boca does mean mouth. Is Retone rat? Rattone? I thought it was. I could be wrong. I didn't know Retone meant rat in space, does it? I mean, mouse.

Mouse. Sorry. My mistake. Mouse mouth. I didn't know that. Mouse, mouth. Mouth of the rat. Mouse.

Mouth is better, actually. Mouse, mouse, mouse. That sounds like a DJ name. Mouse mouth. I got to look up why it's called Boca Raton. So, D.K., you're right. Florida's name comes from the Spanish term Boca de Ratonez, which translates to Ratsmouth.

The name appeared on early maps of the area and referred to hidden rocks in the Boka seashore and inlet that could damage ships' cables. Okay. So still don't really understand the rat's mouth part. I was hoping they said it looks like a rat's mouth. All right, cool. Okay.

Well, glad we settled that. All right, goodbye, everyone. Oh, I think it's because like the sharp rocks would gna on the ship's cables like a rat. Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and present in D.C. Gambling problem? Call 1-800 gambler or visit RG dash help.com. Call 1-888-78-9-77777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit MDGamlyhelp.org in Maryland.

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