The Ringer NFL Show - Hot QB Summer: Lamar, Russ, and Tua’s Transformations. Plus, an Offseason Mailbag!

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

LIVE SHOW in Los Angeles on July 30: Click below for tickets! The guys break down all of the players who have gone through offseason transformations and try to figure out what actually matters (3:39). “You guys want to do some emails?” (33:01) Tickets: https://www.theelrey.com/events/detail/564772 Russell Wilson (4:46) Tua Tagovailoa (8:04) Lamar Jackson (12:23) Puka Nacua (16:21) Kyle Shanahan (19:31) Joe Burrow (23:00) Check out our 2024 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, football fans, we know that the NFL offseason can seem long and dark, but the Ringer NFL show is here to shine a light on all the big training camp developments and front office news around the league. Join me, Shield Capadia, and a rotating cast of Ringer favorites that includes Noura Princeati, Stephen Ruiz, Austin, Gail, and Lindsay Jones throughout the summer months, and stay up to date on what your favorite team is cooking up for the 2024 season. subscribe to the Ringer NFL show on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast

and follow Ringer NFL on Instagram and TikTok and at Ringer NFL on X and YouTube. Follow show. My name is Danny Hypertz. I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Quirlebeck and we are doing a July 4th mailbag baby or week at July 4th, whatever. I don't know.

I'm in South Carolina. I'm on vacation. I don't know what day it is, what time it is. I don't really know why I'm doing this show, but I'm here with TK. I don't know if this will be on video, this whole episode, but if the people at home could see Hyfitz, maybe I'll tweet it out.

He's in a lovely vacation Hawaiian shirt, a little chest hair coming out behind him. It's just like a bunch of dense foliage. His hair slick back. He looks a little tan. He looks like Sunny Crockett. He looks like Magnum P.I. This is like East Coast Magnum P.I., South Carolina Magnum P.I. It's Sonny Crockett.

That's right. The vibes are out of control on Hyvis's end in South Carolina. Ifitz goes on vacation one time and all of a sudden he just looks like the fucking coolest guy in the world. Love it. Hyvitz, you should take this with you back to. to DC. This look is really working for you. Well, it's Hot Boy Summer. That's right. What a transition. He's still

got it. He's not on vacation. Still got it. Now, we're going to do a little Hot Boy Summer news here. We got a mailbag too. Thank you to everyone emailed in. It's, I don't know what day it is. It's July 2nd, July 3rd. I don't know what's going on. But it's the week of 4th of July, which the whole thing's holiday. And then mailbag, but first, real quick, we have

if you don't know. A live show, July 30th, baby. It is three days from Craig's 30th birthday. It will celebrate. That does not need to be the peg of of that can be like a subtle storyline not not on the not on the marquis if like if i keep oh my god we could get it on the marquee of the marquee of the l ray theater no could we do that can't we do that let's ask this is definitely going to do that the ringer dot com slash events if you're in l a a adjacent july 30th we're at the l ray theater we're going to be i mean it's right when training camp opens i think training camps actually might open like that day actually

and so we'll have a lot of news people will be showing up to training camp in weird cars. Maybe we could show up in weird cars. But that's an idea. Sure. There's all those weird exotic rental car rental places in LA that are like rented Lamborgating for four hours. Maybe we'll show up at a cyber truck and people can try and break in. Take it through a car wash. Oh my God.

Chop our fingers off with the fucking back, whatever it's called, the back door. Is that a thing? Is the trunk cutting people's fingers off? Oh yeah. People are like putting like carrots in and then doing the automatic like thing that automatic back door that goes down is just like slicing. It's just a guillotine. Shoving carrots in their own car. So you can execute people with a cybertruck. That's better than using your finger.

Hyphitz is the point. All right. Anyway, yeah, Tesla next French Revolution coming from the cyber truck. Okay. The ringer.com slash events. We're at Fantasy Football Live show, LA. Okay.

Mailbag here that frankly had like zero part putting together. You two Gans did this. And then, um, but first some news because as I, you know, I'm ahead of you guys on. It is Hop Boy Summer. Yeah.

Originally we were going to tie this to the fact that Craig and I were joking around earlier. I had a colonoscopy this week. I know that's probably an overshare at this point. But getting ready for a colonoscopy is quite an adventure. You have to stop eating like 30 something hours beforehand. You have to like do this like crazy, you drink something that just totally cleanses your system. Craig was like, what we're going to do is give you like a juice cleanse of an episode.

Honestly, kind of. Like, yeah, skinny boy summer daddy over here. Just cutting weight. beach season, baby. And then we were like, why don't we talk about our favorite thing, which is like best shape of our life guys, you know, guys who have either put on muscle or lost muscle

as we head into the summer here. And there's honestly like 10 different guys who have like transformed their body heading into this next season. So it's hot boy summer in the NFL. It's hot boy summer for high fits. It's skinny boy summer for DK after his colonoscopy. I've never felt better.

The system is cleansed. I have a lot of colonoscopy questions. We can say that for the other thing. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah. first up though we got to talk about our boy Russ Craig what's what is your impression of Russell Wilson boxing he's got like a little six pack going over here at least a really solid four pack yeah it's it's more of a he honestly kind of looks like a dad who's ripped

a hundred and he does like a young person who is ripped yeah maybe we can put all these up on the Spotify app you can be able to see some of these photos I'm not sure don't hold me to that but maybe we'll be able to do that but yeah so Russ is big now I feel like Russ just changes what he was the year before every year. Like he just oscillates between skinny and thick and now we're in thick season. He's thick ripped, thick ripped season because he, in previous years,

I've said this on the show before, like he changes his body every single off season. Sometimes he comes back, he's like got a little extra padding. He's doing like the Mahomes thing where he's a little bit chubby. And he's said in the past that's like, so he can absorb more hits and blah, blah, blah,

like throughout the season. And then he'll like lose a bunch of weight because he wants to get fast. I think he's right in the middle here because he's like ripped. He looks like really thick. Like he's been lifting a lot of weights. He's been boxing. He's been boxing with a famous trainer, Freddie Roach, who's Manny Pacquiao's trainer amongst many other people.

I couldn't believe that. All right. That's all right. All right. It is so Russell Wilson to be like, I'm going to get in a boxing. I'm going to hire Freddie Roach, who's like the most famous living boxing trader because it's so extra not necessary at all

to help Russell. He does not need. He's not trading. for a fight. He's working out. Floyd Mayweather is like, like, that's who like many pack you hired to like help him train against Floyd Mayweather and vice versa. Like Russell Wilson doesn't need Freddie Roach to get a fucking six pack. This is so true.

How much did he pay Freddie Roach? This is ridiculous. Does he get a discount on the extra two pack? But I think he's been doing this because Russ's tweet said back in the ring started in 2018 through 2020, but the pandemic put that on pause. And he said, good to see my guys again, Freddie Roach and Marvin Simodio. So maybe he's been with Freddie Roach's whole career. And this is the secret sauce.

And that's why he's been bad the last few years. Wasn't Russell Wilson the one selling the water that prevented concussions? Maybe that's why when he got so into boxing. Nano bubbles, baby. Yeah, it was just like a liquid IV probably. Yeah. Nano bubbles. It's all about nanobbles.

Craig, does this make you more excited or less excited? It doesn't make me less excited. It means he's dedicated to the season. he seems mentally emotionally and spiritually focused. Now it appears he's physically focused finally. So that's great. Yeah, look, I'm for like new era Russ. Why not?

Why not? Every time Russell Wilson posts something on Instagram, I think it's like one week earlier that Justin Fields will start. Because like the respect of the Steelers locker room, like if they're winning, sure. Every loss, those Instagrams are just going to circulate through all the group text of all the positions and they're just going to be like, like, screw this guy. I mean, look, Russ is obviously a little bit of a little bit of a. an interesting fellow. If I were Justin Fields, I would just show up and be as normal as possible every day.

Yeah. It's 100%. Also, if you're listening to this in July, they're on the Steelers, by the way. How weird is that? But yeah, Fields should be normal. That is true. Russ Wilson with Arthur Smith and Justin Fields. So anyway, that's Russ. I'm for it. I hope he boxes somebody on the field. The next guy, we got to talk about Tua, which Hyvitz described as having a weird new look. He lost weight. which he just lost some weight. He's got to, I got to be honest, though,

looking at this picture that Craig put on here, he does look. He looks the same. No, I was going to say, he looks so different. Here's what it is.

I figured it out. The only difference between two of it last year and this year, he probably lost five pounds. He shaved his beer and he grew his hair out. Yeah. That's the only difference. Last year,

he had short hair with beard, this year, no beard long hair. I don't think I would recognize him if I saw him on the street. I'm not kidding. No, I'm not going to lie.

No, I'm not going to lie. It's my job to know these people. And I, like, two months ago, if I had walked by this person, I would not. And if you were like, that's two, I'd be like, what's wrong with you? He looks like he's getting ready for it to play like a part in a movie. And he's like completely changed his look. Did you see Tyreek and Waddle both commented on his weight at minicamp or something?

Tyreek said, Tyreek said when I saw two at the Pro Bowl, I was kind of scared. He was fat as shit. He must be on a Zempick now. They said that? He must be on a Zemping. Yes. And then Jalen Waddle said, I missed Chubby Tua, man. I'm not going to lie. I didn't like it when I saw it. I told him I'm not fucking with it. Eat some more. That's like how your friends are anytime anyone in your friend group loses weight, they're kind of like, I kind of miss the old. Fuck this guy. You're better than us? You think you better than me?

I don't know. Do you guys like, would you want as a fan, Carlos is producing this episode. He's a Dolphins fan. Maybe we should get him in here. Carlos, do you prefer skinny tour or a thick to a? What do you want? I'm kind of in on skinny Tua. Maybe you have a little bit more mobility back, you know. A rookie year Tua, you know, he was a little bit more quick on his feet. So I'm hoping that maybe that translates to some extending of plays. I know. That's what Tua said too.

He was like more nimble. He was also very defensive. They're like, how much do you weigh? And he's like, I weigh what I weigh. He's very defensive about losing weight. My friends that I told you about that have the Newfoundland that's 150 pounds. and the dog has to have a bib because there's so much saliva. They got him a bib that says,

how much do you weigh? Because so many people ask how much the dog weighs? Wait, Carlos, get back in here. Are you excited because we have, what, Trevor Lawrence, Jared Goff? Every quarterback in the NFL now is getting $50 million a year. It's like the starting point. And now, too, is basically the last quarterback

that hasn't gotten a big contract extension. And I feel like I have been, my rational brain is like, two is, frankly, is of every quarterback left. I feel like the most Brock perdiable in that you could replace. 90% of them, 80% of them for 10% of the cost. But I also am sensitive

to everything you said, Carlos, about how two is like unequivocally the best quarterback at the 21st century for the Miami Dolphins. And so do you have any fears about giving a $300 million contract? I mean, I'm not like excited about it, especially given how last season ended. But I don't know.

It's, what else, what's their other option is wait a year and pray that that comes loose? Like, and is that even better? I don't know. You're going to have to. Yeah, tamper better. Don't get caught. Yeah, exactly.

And you have to pay DAC the same amount. So it's like, do you want 32-year-old DAC making $50 million a year? Or do you want Tua at 26 making $50 million a year? I'd rather have a $32 million deck. You think you get a... So a 32-year-old DAC for $60 million. Yeah. Yeah, but you're not guaranteed to get him, though.

No. I think he's going to stay. Yeah. Godspeed, Carlos. Good luck with that. Anyway, he does have... I'm back on hyphids' side here because I was making fun of him earlier about saying Tua has a weird new look.

And I'm looking at this picture, I'm like, I don't recognize this person. Like, I truly don't think I would recognize him standing on the street. For fantasy purposes, though, I like to, I think we don't like Tua for like a one quarterback league, but Tyreek, Jalen Waddle. I even like, I don't mind Johnny Smith at tight end. I think the dolphins barely pass the tight ends, but I should think John and Smith could be pretty good. And even O'Dell, randomly, O'Dell is a third receiver.

It's like perfect for the dolphins. Keep forgetting O'Dell is on the Dolphins. Odell's your blind spot. I know, he is. You don't think about it. I've given up on him. That's why I feel like he retired five years ago, even though he's still playing.

He's still chugging along. Yeah, Odell was like a hot boy summer. Odell was actually pretty good. That's Super Bowl year for the Rams. O'Dell was pretty good before he tore his ACL. The next person to lose or gain weight this year, Lamar. He's skinny Lamar now. The last two years, he came to the league skinny.

Then he got real bulky. And he got hurt the last two years while he was bulky Lamar. And now he's skinny Lamar. He apparently weighs $250. pounds. He was 2.15. The last season, he was 2.30, apparently, two years ago. I don't know if I believe that. He actually does look quite skinny. Have you guys seen the photos of him? I will, I will flex. I actually was at the AFC championship game for the end of that season when he was still bulky. And then I just was at OTAs like a month ago. What month is it? Is it July?

Danny Maggi is like so tan. I can't get over Hyvitz right now. Hyvitz has only been wearing linen for the last seven days. I too, like Lamar, try to get down to 205, you know. So yeah, what was your impression at when you went to OTAs? So I went up there with Stephen Ruiz, who also works with us here at the ringer. And we had a long conversation about like why Lamar dropped like 20 pounds of muscle, which for context, mass huge amount. Like, yeah, that's a lot.

It's a really 20 pounds of muscles a lot. And he did it in like four months basically. I always think about like a pound of steak and how big that is. And like put 20 of those on your body. Also, he did it. He gained it. Like dudes like that, like Lamar, have been skinny. their whole life.

Like, I gain 20 pounds of muscle. He can't gain, it's hard. Like, eating all day. It's crazy how much these guys is. Like, like fat as well. It's not literally 20 pounds of like pure lean muscle.

I'm sure it's like when you see like an offensive lineman retires and two weeks. He's like, skinny as fuck. Marquis Pouncey. Looks like me. Bix this week. Whiskey's bouncy looks so normal.

I don't think we, I don't think we talk about how much those guys have to eat. Like they just absolutely gorge themselves for their entire career. So it's like, It's the exact opposite of how you would prepare for a colonoscopy. Like that is what an offensive line that does for 15 years. Yeah. Seriously.

Before Keith bounces colonoscopy right now would be smooth sailing. But what we're talking about? Skidie Lamar. We're in on this. I think we're in on this. Steve and I were talking about how we think that they probably have less design runs in store for Lamar, but they want him to scramble more. And that basically instead of him being like they don't,

they just want him to be able to create more and more after the play during passing play. but they're probably going to use them on run's even less and less. And in short, I think the Ravens' offense was under because the defense was so good. I actually think it was underrated how good the Ravens' offense was. And Stephen convinced me that basically we kind of forgot that was the first year of the Ravens in that offensive coordinator system for Todd Monkin. And like a lot of offenses get way better in year two.

And I think the Ravens' offense could actually get even better than we think. That's fun. And also, a factor in the fact, you know, Derek Henry is there now in the backfield with them. That's my takeaway from OTAs. Lamar Jackson in shotgun or pistol next to Derek Henry is iconic. It is honestly the coolest thing I've seen in a football field in two or three years. It's just Lamar and Derek Henry in a backfield with spread. It's unbelievable.

You know, how old is Lamar now? 28? 27. He'll be 28 in January. When do you guys think the rushing quarterback, like when do they kind of reach the end of their scrambling prime? Like there's a lot of guys like Josh Allen is now. like 28. I feel like a lot of those guys don't make it to 30.

Right. Yeah. It's, you know what? It's a really good take, Craig. It's kind of like, it's your drinking,

right? It's kind of like, people are having kids later. So now, like, you're probably binge drinking. He's been extended to like late 20s or early 30.

So it's like you're rushing. It's very, very correlated with, like, I'm on vacation. Can't drink as much as I used to. And I think that you're right. Like, 31.

You're trying. You're doing your best. Try to relive those glory days. But yeah, like, Russell Wilson has like completely abandoned rushing pretty much, like as he's gotten older. I just wonder with these guys like Kyler,

with Josh Allen, with Lamar, Jalen Hertz is still young, but like if this will ever, like when it will age out, you know, when does it start, do you actually see the decline take place? That's good question. All right, next skinny. Next skinny guy. Puka Nakua.

It's cutting season for Puka. Puka worked out with Cooper Cup this off season. And Cooper, I'm obsessed with Cooper Cup. He just seems like an absolute maniac from a workout perspective. I don't think he does anything but like work out and play football. Yeah. And Puka has been working out with him since the Super Bowl.

He's like Cooper Cup started around the Super Bowl to get ready for next season. It was so intense that Puka Nukuwa threw up for a week straight at Cooper Cup's house on Cooper Cup's grass. Oh my God. Like a week straight like seven days in a row or like 24-7, seven days a week. I don't think he was like purging himself constantly. But every day for a week, he threw up in Cooper Cup's bushes. So he's lost 10 pounds. he's down to 210 after playing at 220 last season.

I mean, he was... It was all vomit weight, though. He was definitely like... I mean, he is a... It's just bile. Jesus. 10 pounds of bile. You got a lot of bile in your system.

I didn't know that. Should that be the name of this episode? 10 pounds of bile? Cutting season. According to this article from Jordan Rodriguez at the athletic, he... Cooper Cup was telling him he needs to stop eating so much McDonald's as he did during the season. Dude, I'm fascinated.

Absolutely. just love when you hear about pro athletes realize they need to eat better. Like it's so funny. It's my favorite thing. Like you say, bowl eating McDonald's snack wrap the day he set the record. Dude, it fascinates me, athlete diets. I remember there was a hard knocks a million years ago with the Bengals and Chad Johnson.

Only, he exclusively ate fast food. Yeah. Dudes are just eating candy. Lukas drinking sweet tea 24-7. I just can't believe all these athletes. Premier athletes. He could just eat like shit every day. That was my pitch on Jackie to watch the NBA finals.

I was like, see that guy? Best player in the world didn't start drinking water to lose 25. Dude, D.K. Metcalf, all he talks about all he does is eat candy. Yeah. And a threesomes. Crazy. Candy and threesomes, baby. Like, I think if I only ate chicken breast and broccoli for like six months,

I would look like a little different. I would look a little better. And yet D.K. Metcalf can just eat Skittles and Starbursts for an entire office. and then come back looking like a superhero. How did he get like that on just Starbursts and Skittles? Genetics. How is it possible? He also lifts a ton too.

But yeah. I'm sure he's like obviously taking protein. So it's like the peck made of Starburst? Like what is? The Rams wider receiver coach, and I know this is, you know, it's like half this is hyperbole. Everybody says this. But the Rams wide receiver coach, Eric Yarber did say that Puka looks completely different. Like his body, like the weight is distributed.

Puka lost 10 pounds, but said he like added more weight to like impact areas, like his shoulder. and stuff like that. And Puka wasn't like... Danny Rojas, football's life and death. Danny Rojas. Oh, you two freaking foo-foo to watch Ted Lasset. Ted Lassau. Bukin-Kua is just like Danny Rojas.

You know what the issue is with Hyphitz? It's like, I watch all the shows he watches. He just remembers every quote in every name of every character. I forgot that guy's name or whatever quote you mentioned. Sorry, it's Danny Rojas, that guy. The happy guy. Anyway, I guess this is now moving... We're moving off Hot Boy Summer.

There's just like more... there's just more like look changes, you know? Kyle Shannon and mustache now, kind of also getting a new look. He was at McCaffrey's wedding. McCaffrey got married a week ago. Kyle Shannon now slick back hair, shaved beard, touch of gray, mustache. He looks good. I'm not going to lie.

He does. It looks cool. Soft mullet? He looks like he's going to be a knives out three. 100%. Yeah. He's wearing like a nice tucks, like with a, you know, like a tied. what it was called?

Boatty. Boatty. He's at a wedding. He just looks good, though. It's the same wedding as George Kettle and George Kittal's three buttons down. George Kittle, meanwhile. Hold on Corona. Anyway, I fully support Shanahan doing whatever he can to kind of change his look,

change his mindset because I feel like he was in a dark place a few months ago. He should just wear this on the sidelines. We got to get the suits back on the sidelines for NFL coaches. Who was it? Mike Nolan. Wasn't it Mike Nolan tried to do that for the Niners like 10 years ago? and nobody, it didn't catch on. It's a great take DK.

I would love coaches to wear suits. He just wore a tuxedo. Can you imagine? Formal wear. Bring it back. It's like the old days. I'm thinking of like, is, I could be totally wrong with this. Like Tom Landry, like wearing like a suit and like a fedora.

The fedora, yeah. Anyways, this is your chance, Kyle. You can do this, change things. I was talking to my buddy about which fashion trends will never return. because obviously so many do, right? Like right now we're kind of having like a 70s revival. There's a lot of like bell bottom stuff. Carver shorts are back.

Even like late 9, early 2000s like low bottom jeans are kind of coming back in. Like there's a lot of stuff that's coming back in right now. We were trying to pick like maybe this would be a fun thing for us to power rank. But like what is, if you had to bet on a piece of on a fashion trend that will never return that you were the most confident would never come back. Do you think the fedora will ever come back? Yeah. Honestly, if you told me that people have been.

wearing fedoras in LA for six months? I'd be like, yeah, sure. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, I can see that. Like, jean shorts are back. You have to, you have to say, will the fedora ever come back into, like, popular culture? Regular, real culture.

Because I feel like there's always d-bags that are going to be wearing this out of the other thing. No, I'm saying, like, it becomes normal and trendy to wear a fedora out to lunch with your friend. Right. And people are like, that guy looks cool. Yeah. Like, oh, no, like, they don't even, there's like, yeah. There's plenty of fedoras out today. Is there, is there ever going to be an era when someone looks at a guy wearing a fedora and says,

hey, that guy looks cool. Yeah. I mean, look, the mullet came back. So you never know. God, yeah, the bullet is really bad. Bullets, is that what you would say Logan Paul has? What is the name of Logan Paul's hair? No, like the Gen Z cut.

Well, Logan Paul's balding. That's why he's doing that. But I feel like it's Jake Paul. Everyone does the push forward kind of curly. It's like a young British boy look. It's, yeah. So I'm on vacation here, and it's like a beach family town here in South Carolina. And there's like a lot of teenagers.

Every, I think Logan Paul or Jake Paul brothers, like everyone has their hair. It is unbelievable. Everyone's like bleach blonde, like blonde hair push forward. And look, it's like very clearly like just after Jake Ball. Yeah, it's got some curls. It hangs over the forehead a little bit. I even heard some of the, some of the teens out there, Jen Alpha, they're getting like perms to curl their hair.

Oh my God. The kids are getting perms now. Dude, I was telling Craig this because we're, we're looking at, speaking of Hot Boy, somewhere. We were looking at pictures of there was new team photos released of Joe Burrow. And he has. Oh, yeah. What was up with this? He has like really, really long bangs that he's like got like halfway swooped over,

but then sort of like halfway on his forehead down by his eyes. And I like, very moody. Yeah, it's very like, I'm trying to remember exactly when it was like mid-90s style haircut. And kind of like Heath Ledger, 10 things I hate about you. Yeah. Yeah, and I've gotten old enough where, like, the things I was wearing in middle school are now cool again with, like, high school middle schoolers again. It's like we've come full circle, like really baggy jeans, really baggy cargo pants, like these kind of weird haircuts, like buy levels or mullets. My buddy calls my buddy who is older, he's like 50 years old, he calls mullets buy levels because when he was wearing a buy level, it was a by level.

Like, they're mullet, like bad mullets. A bi level? I don't even know where you're sad. two levels. You're speaking like a better language. This is not my term. Is that the name of a mullet? He's 54 years old.

He calls it a buy level. Yeah, a mullet. Is that what mullets were called before they were called mullets? According to this guy. According to my buddy, Brad. So he walked into the barber and said, give me a buy level.

I don't think anyone now would know what it is. They handed him a glass of tab. That's the way I'm going to explain LeBron James to my grandchildren. I'm going to be like, when he got drafted, baggy suits were in. They went out of style. Then his son got drafted. And he was still in the end.

NBA and baggy suits were back in. Anyway, Joe Burrow looks to me like, he looks like a movie star from the 90s. Yeah, well, to be honest, it's not that crazy of a haircut. If he just pushed that hair, like if you just push the part hanging in front of his face back, it would be a pretty normal haircut.

He's just letting it dangle and giving himself like pseudo bangs. All right, let me give you the real story to Joe Burrow. Let's see if we throw this up on the Spotify app. And let's see if you're in Spotify app. Let's see if we can make it the photo here. The real story is that on his throwing arm, his right arm, he's got a sleeve. And I'm sure that that sleeve is to probably hide the absolutely hideous scar from whatever

surgery had. Because remember when he took the photo of his knee and his knee had the giant scar. And he was sitting on the throne and all anyone talked about was how big the goddamn scar was. And I feel like I don't like that he's hiding his, I don't like he was wearing an arm sleeve for this photo shoot in Paris or whatever. That's a great call. Well, wait, the photo, he did a vogue, like, fashion show in Paris. Yeah.

In Paris. Back was showing. I feel like Joe Barr's whole thing is he's like the lunch pail guy. He's like the hardworking, he shows up, and now he's trying to have it both ways. And I kind of don't like it. I also think, Craig, you've been on this.

And I'm half kidding. But, like, I really do think it's really odd that he has this wrist injury that, like, other quarterbacks don't have and other throwers of balls don't have. And he has to talk to linemen and stuff. I really, like, most of the normal injuries, but like ACLs and all the stuff,

we have a rough timeline, not cutting Achilles and stuff, but the other injuries. I, think the most, the single most important injury to track for NFL for fantasy purposes in August in training camp is Joe Burrow because he's literally never had a normal training camp. He had his pre his rookie year was COVID and then his second year he had coming off the torn ACL and then I can't keep track. He received an emergency appendectomy. Oh yeah. Um, like like the first,

like he, his first or second day training camp like this dude's never had a normal training camp. And if once, and the Bengals always start oh and two because of that. Yeah. And if he once again is not throwing footballs in August because of this weird injury and they're just going to be like, it's fine, it's fine. We don't know. I need to see him throwing footballs and it matters for Jemar Chase and stuff. And I think the whole Bengals offense, it's a little more precarious than it seems. If he's throwing in normal, it's fine.

But I want to see it. Yeah, that's fair. Show me your wrist, Joe. I agree. I wonder if he's going to wear some type of wrist guard or wrist sleeve during the season as well. I didn't even pick up on that. It's his sleeve in these team photos. Good call.

So this isn't exactly like Hot Boy Summer, but I, I, Dude, I continue to be enamored by Anthony Richardson's athleticism. We talked about that like 360 spike he did in the end zone last year, which was like the most athletic thing I've ever seen anybody do on a football field. Have you guys seen the video of Anthony Richardson dunking? He's like windmill 180 dunks in a gym. And it's like effortless. There are like 50% of the NBA can't do that.

I think there's like one player on the Warriors who can do that. Legitimate. It's like Jonathan Kaminga and nobody else on the Warriors can do that. I'm, like, fairly confident. I think, I think I'm ready to just kind of like, I'm starting to look at like the Anthony Richardson MVP odds. It's like the perfect storm of like he's so much younger than you think. You'll hear all the things about him working out,

the officers and stuff, which you do about everybody. But I actually believe that he's a workout psycho. And he's changed his game a lot in just a couple years. And the Shane Stuyken, Colts offense, it's all kind of just a perfect storm. I just, also the Colts should have made the playoffs. Like the Colts that week 18 game against the Texans.

CJ started out of his mind. in that game. But I don't know. Gardner Minshew got paid by the freaking Raiders because Shane Steichen made him look so good. I don't know. I kind of just think Anthony Richardson's going to be a hall of family. He's like one of those guys that you are just like, let's ignore

any of the red flags. He was injured several times as a rookie and just go all fucking in on Anthony Richardson because of what he can do, what he could possibly do. His stealing is insane. We're worried about Joe Burroughs' wrist, which I think is warranted. I thought I was worried about Anthony

Richardson's shoulder on not anymore. I see him, he's windmill dunking in June. I'm good. I'm starting to think I might have Ethan Richardson as my fourth quarterback. I swear to God. I have him as my fourth.

Yeah, Josh Allen Hertz. Lamar and Mahomes and I'm like to screw it. I just want Anthony Richardson fourth. I don't even care. Yeah. I can go back to Craig. Craig and I had this inside joke where we were always like, this was like walking around

to the Super Bowl. We're like NFL players. Not that big. They're like, we saw, all like Kirk Cousins walking around. We're like, he's smaller than me. Like, and then you see Anthony Richardson. I remember seeing Anthony Richardson at the combine.

I was like, this is the biggest person I've ever seen of my life. He's so massive. I remember thinking Bryce Young was like a nesting doll that could fit inside of multiple Anthony Richardson's larger than life. I'm probably nearing. Remember when Bill Simmons watched like three games of Sequin and was like he's the best running back I've ever seen, which I thought was a fantastic take. And it's how I felt about Bijan.

I think Anthony Richardson is the most athletic quarterback ever. Yeah. And he's played three games. Young Cam Newton, but he's like honestly second. I don't think he's more athletic than young Cam Newton. I, you know what? I Googled Cam Newton Dunking. I googled Cam Newton Duncan couldn't find shit.

I was, I don't remember what year is this. What year is now? What year to Kim, 2011. So Cam Newton 2012 or 2012, it must have been. My 2011, I can't remember. The week one or week two of the season, the Panthers played the Giants. And on the first play, the Panthers came out

and they went Wildcat. And they put Cam Newton a receiver. And they had him block Corey Webster, who was the Giants number of quarterback. And Cam Newton was a foot taller. And he went out and he shoved Corey Webster into the fucking bitch. Dude, did you guys see the video of Cam Newton got jumped

at some like celebrity thing? He was like fought off like four guys. He's like, dude, why would you try and fight Cam Newton? Yeah. I would love to sit one of those guys down. and be like, what was your plan there? There's five of us.

This has to be enough. We need a couple more. We need one more. I think we need one more. Do you think the next day they're like, all right, five, clearly not enough. We'll try seven next time. Dude, yeah, never try and fight Kevin Newton. Can we make that way?

We didn't make that a meme, the Brad Pitt, George Clooney-talkie at the bar, but it's like trying to jump Cam Newton. Should we get one more? Yeah. John, can you get your cousin? to come. We need some more people. Yeah, damn. Can I give you, wait, I know we have a bunch of emails

to get to, but real quick, can I throw one more in? Did you guys see that Sauce Gardner is getting into golf and he just started taking all these videos of golfing? Yeah. And shout out, he's just golfing shirtless in the rain. And I thought they're sick. Golfing shirtless. Incredible. And I just want to let you guys know I have a new

goal. I thought a pretty worthy goal in life was to be famous enough that I just want to be able to tweet at an airline and they'll immediately fix my problem. Like, I thought that's a worthy goal of being famous. That's like the, that's the bar of being famous. Yeah. Yeah. I think my new bar is I want to be famous enough that like if I tweet out a video of my golf swing and I'm like, can anyone fix this that like I just I could fix like people just fix it. Like he just was tweeting out like, what's why was the swing? Like was hitting you up.

Hyvitz, you got to give it a try, dude. Start posting videos. Your golf swing. Just post the videos of my swing. I don't know right now. We'll have to workshop a little more. No, sauce gardener is posting videos. He's like, what am I doing wrong? And someone's like, put the ball close. It's like, okay and then he sits like 40 yards further I'm like man that's that's great honestly his swing not that bad he looks all right I mean for somebody just getting into it he looks pretty good one of my favorite like TikTok Instagram real

wormholes is baseball players like baseball teams going to top golf just Mike Trout trying to hit it over Isn't that like you run the risk of fucking up your baseball swing by day I think baseball players don't play a lot of golf yeah well they're just doing baseball swings but like down my bar for being famous is I want to be famous enough to get invited on dancing with the stars.

God, we got to get this to heaven. That's always been a goal of mine in life. I don't know why. I've really wanted to go on that show. I used to watch it. My mom used to watch it growing up, and I would just watch it all the time, like eating dinner.

I was just watching Dancing with the Stars. To the point where I, like, knew all the professional dancers' names. And I was like, man, and to be honest, that bar's kind of low. Now it's like B-level influencers and, like, washed up athletes. So maybe I could do it in 10 years. I don't know.

I can see it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. You know some emails? Yeah. Yeah, we had a lot of emails. DK, DK, K, you were the curator today.

Yeah, so I went through the last few weeks of emails. There's some incredible ones. The first, of course, we have to address something. This is big. So the Lake County Captains, which is a minor league baseball team, high A affiliate. Lake County Captains. No, they didn't email us. This is a bunch of people that email us about this.

There's a high A affiliate of the Cleveland Guardians. They're doing a toilet road. seating experience. They are blatantly ripping off the gentleman's piss club, Piss club, and putting it in one of their games as a promotion. It is unveiled, they unveiled roto-ruder toilet row,

which includes eight deluxe high-end toilet seats, where you can buy, their catchphrases, why sit on the toilet and play on your phone when you can sit on a toilet and watch an entire baseball game? Craig, this feels just like they ripped you off. To be honest,

look, I also, I looked into this is, I was like, there's no way these work, right? Like, I know this is a stunt, but I was like, actually shitty. My first question was, do they flush? I know. I was like, and they don't. There's no plumbing attached. And so while this is gimmicky, I'm like, get some plumbing in there. Like, I want these puppies to work.

Don't you think sitting on a toilet? I feel like, like, like your brain will trick yourself into thinking you have to go to the bathroom more if you're sitting on a toilet that then doesn't work. 100%. This is what we talked about. Your brain just has GPS. It knows the close you get to a bathroom, the more you have to go. So if you're sitting on a toilet, you might shit your pants. Yeah.

Look, I want these things to work. And maybe you can, maybe there's like a, like a sleeve you can put over your lower half when you need to go to obviously. A sleeve. Some type of, you know, when you're a kid, you take typing class, they put over, they put like the shoebox over your hands when you type so you can't see. Oh, yeah. They need something like that. You put it over your your midsection. Shout out.

How are you supposed to wipe? Biday. Biday. Badee. Oh, my God. When was the last time you got sat on a toilet with your clothes on that you weren't like fixing something?

I mean, it's pretty common when you have a kid because you sit on a toilet while they're in the tub while they're taking a path. Oh. Okay. Every now and then the stark difference in our lives comes out of having a kid. Also, I just like, how much did this toilet come?

company pay for this. Like, is this good branding? I feel like toilets are pretty uncomfortable to sit on. And if you're watching an entire baseball game sitting on a toilet seat, your legs are going to fall asleep, like a half hour in? Your legs falling asleep. You have to stand up every little. You're going to have a stroke. Imagine having to actually go to the bathroom and we're like, I guess we can't use these and you just leave. Can you get the ultra like high end version of this where you have like the thing that raises your feet? You know how like there's this new trend where you have like the, the squatty body. Squatty body. Yeah. That's like that intended. That thing works.

It does work. It's how we are evolved to shit, you guys, squatting. It makes sense. Yeah. It makes sense to you. Isn't it crazy that we have toilets everywhere? It is a pretty good invention, though. Toilets?

Yeah. Like, we just got them everywhere. Agree. Agree. Really helpful. This is not a hot take. Yeah, you're right. I'm just like, shout out to if we did that.

Love having toilets. Speaking of other rip-offs, unless you guys have anything else to say about the, the Lake County captain stealing the gentleman's Pisc Club. The only other thing I thought reading this was that, so they're a high A affiliate. Every time I read about a certain, a certain like subgroup in minor league baseball, I'm like, this is like, the European soccer to me. There are so many different fucking types of, of, semi-professional baseball or minor league baseball, whatever the hell it's called. It's so confusing.

What is high A? All right, but the difference is the more A is the closer there are. So there's AAA. Yeah. And that's major league baseball is like quadruplea. But I thought it was just triple A, double a single A and then there's like farm but then there's different versions. It's ridiculous. There's high A and low A. Why are there so many? But there's also That's not like a fraction is confusing as soccer. There's other teams that are just not

related to teams. Not like actually minor leagues. They're just like other like independent leagues aren't there? Soccer or baseball? Baseball. Yeah there are but I yeah there are but I don't know how that works. There is so much baseball being played by people who are really good

that I don't know about. There are so much like almost pro baseball going on in the world every day. Yeah. It's hard. It's hard to make it to the major leagues. I think this is like the thing that really stands out to me is like when you talk about the worst baseball players in the majors, they can fucking mash. Like they are so fucking good to get into the majors.

It's not even just hitting. It's not even just hitting. It's like, it's like, I mean, obviously hitting to the hard part. But like the actual relatable part is, or unrelatedable part is the throwing. Forget hitting. which obviously hitting is the hardest, hitting is the hardest thing in any sport. But if you ever go to a baseball game

and you're there early, watch the outfielders warm up. Oh, dude. And look how far they can throw in the most incredible thing. It's effortless too. Everyone throws the baseball. And it's how far they can throw.

And what you'll notice is the other guy catching will put up his mitt. And he won't move the mitt. It'll just land there from like a football field away. They could just fucking throw. It's unbelievable. I can't even like, good sports.

I throw the ball. over my friend's head, like playing catch 20 feet away. You know what I mean? Like, these guys are insanely good. I launched a tennis ball while playing fetch with my in-laws dog. Two tosses of that ball. I was like, my arm's dead. I don't think it's actually very good to throw a tennis ball.

It's like not heavy enough. Tom Brady was right about the, once you let your body, you know, go. You can't get it back. Like, I get it, you know? Yeah. Anyways, back to the rip-offs thing. Nick in the emails pointed out. Nick.

Your theme song must be at the top of a chart somewhere because now Facebook's paid social media advertising is using it. I just got served this ad on my IG stories. I looked at the video. He sent the video. It's our song. Again, on a Facebook, I don't even know what the ad is for. It's something for Facebook.

Yeah. It's like a Facebook messenger ad or something, an internal ad. It's so much less cool than the porn. Right. The porn was kind of cool. but the Facebook's. Yeah, I know. This is like where we got to take action,

even though I know that we don't legally own it. Honestly, though, like, I feel like, what a steal. We got this song six years ago before it got popular. Now we'd have to pay a lot for it, probably. Hell yeah. All right. Let's get to the real mailbag here because there's important information to discuss. A couple of shows ago, we asked people to send in information of where the coolest

or most crazy place that they've listened to our podcast. Like the current Hall of Fame top person right now is the woman who listened while in labor. She listened to her podcast while in labor. Like that to me, I think is. Not willingly, right? It was like her husband put it on accidentally or what? Unclear exactly how they were bored. He got her into it before during pregnancy.

And then they were like, yeah, fuck it, we got nothing else going on. So anyways, there was a couple of people that tried to beat that. And I think there's a discussion to be had here. This one's from Dylan. Dylan. Dylan. Dylan says one time a girl who I was seeing and I were sitting on a couch in my condo. I was listening to her podcast on the AirPods and she was watching her shows.

One thing led to another and we ended up getting undressed and he blanked it out. I assume fucking is the word he's looking for here on the couch. Obviously, I took. What's the point of blanking it out then? I don't know. Obviously, I took the AirPods out before anything got started. However, when I took the AirPods out, the audio for the podcast did not stop, it transferred to the speaker of the phone. but it was a very low level.

This is why D.K. hates Bluetooth. So Dylan goes on. As the act was taking place, several times we had short pauses thinking someone was at the door or we were hearing my neighbors from their condo. And it was like me complaining about Chris Godwin. Yes. He says, my condo complex is mostly families and elders. So loud laughing or arguments are not something we would regularly over here.

It got so distracting that my lady friend asked me to check. check that the upstairs window wasn't open because she thought people could hear us and were laughing out loud at us. She's like, babe, it sounds like three guys are giving really, really good fantasy advice and upstairs right now. He says, he figured out, he said after the second or third time they had to stop, he figured out what was happening, but he did not want this, quote, lovely lady to stop doing anything she was doing, especially to stop my fantasy football podcast.

So I went along with the confused act and played it off. basically he had sex while listening to our podcast at a very low level. And the best part is it was the podcast where Danny Hyfitts mispronounced fiasco. We're just like, I think we were probably just laying into Hypatts so hard. But anyways, that was good. Not to be like, this one, not to be overdone, this one might be better. This is from redacte. You asked that we not include his name.

Sure. Honestly, very rarely do we get an email that starts with don't say my name? That's not good. Yeah. Recently, I fell asleep listening to your podcast. Consider yourself my personal Misty Mountains. Shortly after I fell asleep, my wife woke me up initiating sex. The pod was still playing, and I didn't care enough to take my AirPods out.

So I just let it play throughout. What, like Leo DeCampbell? I have so many questions. He left the AirPods? He left the AirPods. He did not take out the AirPods. I have so many questions about this. Wait, this is the Leo DiCaprio story

that he listens to podcast during sex. Wait, do you think Leo listens to our podcast during sex? Honestly, I could see Leo as a fantasy football guy. Oh, 100%. I'm not familiar with the Leo podcast story. What happened? There was some rumor out there that he puts in headphones whenever he has sex and listens to whatever.

Oh, my God. He goes like full over the ear, noise cancelling, and just like disassociates. What the fuck? He just goes into like, a fugue state and just high sex. Oh my God.

So do you think this guy, do you think redacted now gets like slightly turned on every time he listens to us? It's like, yeah. It's like Pavlovian response. He just hears the music and he's like, honey! Well, I know it's already happening because of all the people

that have seen or have heard our show on the porn network that uses our music. On the porn network. Yeah. No, because that's what it's from. I find that to be a funny phrase. You sound like you're 85 years old. The porn network.

Okay, what do you call? The porn company? The dirty movie. I don't know. I don't know what to call it. That reminds me. Somebody tweeted at us a while back. It was brilliant.

It was like when that ringer fantasy football show music hits and it was just like lotion and Kleenex, like two pictures of lotion and Kleenex. So, okay, so now we've had two people who have listened to us while copulating, one directly in their ears with the volume up. What is what is next? Like, how can that be outdone? I truly don't know. I don't know. I don't know either.

Please let us know. So sort of on that note, I got a really good email. This is not about listening to us, but it's somewhat related. So basically, obviously, we've had people email in and talk about how they listen to our show during. ring vasectomies, which is just incredibly intimate time for someone to be listening. You just notice that all this is their sex, vasectomies, or giving birth? All life leads to that, really. Yeah, it's the circle of life.

So this is... A real fork in the road. This is one of the greatest stories I've ever heard. I'm going to say this is in the Hall of Fame for listener emails. Wow. This is a vasectomy follow-up from Micah. Micah. Micah.

So, My story deals with a follow-up deposit. appointment where you give a sample to make sure that you are indeed shooting like. A deposit appointment? You get the vasectomy. You have to wait a certain amount of time. And then you ejaculate into a cup and then test the cup to make sure there's no sperm in there. So you're not going to be getting your wife pregnant or whatever. So my buddy, whose name he redax, goes in six weeks after procedure.

He's a bit of a doofist, real book smart, but sometimes lacks common sense, the common sense gene. nurse hands in a cup says fill it up write your initials on the lid then put it here on this shelf shuts the door and leaves more than 45 minutes later redacted is still in there nurse knocks on the door sir is everything okay you've been there you've been in there quite a while just a minute a couple minutes later redacta comes out red-faced and sheepish looking is also really sweaty sir are you okay i'm sorry i tried my best but i just couldn't fill up the cup i got part i got I got it part of the way, but I've just all out. He took it literally that he had to fill up the cup. Oh, my God. I just... Oh, there's something like so sweet and innocent. I tried my best.

I'm trying. He ends the email with it. Redacted had been there, been in there pumping out as many specimens as he could in 45 minutes. A lot of deposits. Oh, I wonder how many times. he was able to do it. I'm curious. I need more information.

I'm like, because the refraction time or whatever they call it. What is it called? Reload. Yeah. Recharge. I mean,

there's a set time. Like, you cannot just, unless you're like, really gifted. I always thought that was the most unrealistic part of the Wolf of Wall Street is when he, when he finishes too quickly

with Margot Robbie, Leo is like, she's like, did you come? And he's like, yeah, I did you? And she's like, no. And he was like,

I had sectioned there for 12 seconds. And then like 20 seconds later, he's like, I can go again. I'm coming. I'm good. I'm good. And then he just go back to it again. I was like, it's been 30 seconds. No way he's bouncing back that quick. That's not physiologically possible. Especially with all the drugs he's on, no way. Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know. I think he's immune to the drugs. It's like a huge theme.

So anyways, he didn't quite fill up the cup. His cup did not runeth over. God, that is the best. Yeah. Can he Mike email us back and get some investigation going into like how many How many clips he went through. God, seriously. All right. So this is great names in history email from Tannis.

Tannis. Yeah, Tannis. In one of the latest episodes, Craig stated that we have men named Guy, but we need to bring back guys named man in reference to Mansfield coming. Yeah. I present to you, Guy Man Dude, a guitarist from the 80s who performed with Paul Stanley from Kiss on the Mount Rushmore of great names all time. Guy man dude. It's Guy M-A-N-N-S-D-D-E. So his last name is man-slash-d-d-D-E. Yeah. Is that his real name? No, it's not. This man's name is Guy Schiffman. Our quest continues. He is Guy Schiffman. Guy Schiffman. You know, though, this actually might raise a bigger question.

Why would you, I mean, not that Schiffman's the best name ever, but if you're picking your name, why did he go with man dude with two ends? Maybe he like went to the office like to change his name. And they were like, what do you want your name to be? And he was like, man, dude. He was just super high. And this gave him man dude.

Oh my God. This is so good. Guy man dude. Wow. He toured with the heavy metal super group, the dudes of wrath. Oh, there you go. Yeah, he played with Alice Cooper.

as well. Guy man, dude. I would love to get him on the pod. Yeah. Come on the pod guy. Speaking of names, remember how we were talking about Bob Johnson being the most

generic name that you could possibly think of? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe Bob Smith. That's up there. There was definitely people that were, you know,

submitting their names as the most boring name of all time. I respect it. But this is from Eric. Eric. Eric. My name is Bob Johnson. I don't know why it says from Eric.

What the fuck did we call him Eric for? Maybe I fucked that up. No, it says my name is not Bob Johnson. I just read it wrong. What? Wait. I just write it wrong. Snip snap, snip, snip.

He says my name is not Bob Johnson. My name is not Bob Johnson. Yes, yes. Okay. But, but my aunt, sorry, reading comprehension. But my aunt has been married two times to two different men, both named Bob Johnson. What?

She has two kids, my cousins, who are half siblings with different fathers named Bob Johnson. Oh, my God. So do we think that's a coincidence or did you kind of like subconsciously like seek out another Bob Johnson? I feel like it's not a coincidence. It can't be. I know. Do you guys think that if you were to break up with your current partner and you were single again, that you would avoid anyone with the same name or would you not care?

Oh, wow. Now, first of all, it would be hard to find someone else named Skippy. True, true, true. That happens in Ted Lassau when he's with Rebecca, and then he gets new Rebecca. So they call her young Rebecca just so that they will call the papers who call her old Rebecca. That's like the whole thing. Because like I know the answer is like, look, if you love the person and they have the same name, like you're not going to not date them.

But I do feel like it's pretty high up the ranks of like non-negotiables. I do not want a person with the exact same name. Lucille, too. Yeah. Or it's like when I make them go by their middle name to me or something. Like I actually, I don't think I could do it. Yeah. Yeah.

But you can't change their name if they're your current partner for your previous. You're like, oh, no, no. You can't be like, I'm only going to call you because you're your middle name. Could you change your name by chance? Exactly. That's kind of a bad start. Yeah. I don't know.

I feel like I'd be like, hey, look, can I call you by your middle name? I don't think this is going to work. Email if you've had this. situation. Email if you've had this situation. If you've gone on to date someone with the exact same name or even just the same first name. I got to hear from people

that have dated two people of the exact same name. I thought this one was just hilarious. This is from Jesse. Jesse Johnson. Jesse. Jesse. Jay J. My dad's side of the family, all named their children with J names. My dad is Jess senior. His siblings are Jody, J.

John, Jan, and Jill. When we move on to my generation. Guys and dodge. Then we move on to my generation. Me, Jess, Jr., John Paul, Jack, J., Jr. The youngest grandchild, my cousin, who was born well after his siblings, is Bob. Oh. Not Robert, just Bob Johnson.

There's J. John, Jill, Jess, John, Paul, Jack, J. Jr., and Bob. I love that. One of the two, one couple was just like, you know, like, we're sick of this. We ran out of names. They're out of J names, I think. You guys know that Taylor Lotner, the guy from Twilight, is married to a woman named Taylor Dome. So their both names are both Taylor Lautner.

I saw that. Both Taylor Lautner. And then she was an Edward Cullen guy when she was growing up. Oh, is that right? Yeah, she's an Edward over. That's kind of awkward. That's like Jackie being like, I'm a D.K. guy on the pod. Oh my God.

I found one when I was perusing, you know, sitting on my toilet at a Cleveland Guardian's high A baseball game, perusing the email. And good tell us about the war grandpa. Yeah. Can we play Carly's theme song?

By the way, Carly emailed back in and said that, that was an AI song. This is the Good Charlotte version. Oh, no. But she said it was not easy to make because you have to input a bunch of commands and figure out the lyrics

and figure out the timing and all that stuff. So that we'll just get out Michael's. Right. So this one's from Michael. Mike. Mike. I work construction. Okay.

And I'm on a job tearing out old conveyor systems at a big post office hub. Okay. And we find a bunch of random shit from packages that got lost or stuck. Sometimes at any point in the last few decades, packages get lost in time, yeah. The other day, the reflection of a broken CD on the ground caught my attention.

I know where this is going. I picked it up. And I was hoping it was like chicken and beer or enema of the state. Was it the internet? Oh, yeah. America Online Creamium, all new version 5.0. The internet on a CD. The internet that came in the mail.

Still don't get that. And he said it listed a few selling. points on the disc, including the first one said speeds up to 56K. And Michael writes, for context, 56K might have seemed revolutionary in the 90s, but for context, Xfinity's cheapest plan today, the cheapest plan from Xfinity will transfer more data in two seconds than 56K could in one hour. Oh my God. That is wild.

So yeah, the internet. came in the mail. It's like finding the mosquito from Jurassic Park. It's like, oh, look at this thing. It's frozen in amber. That's such a bummer for whoever ordered that. They were probably so excited to use the internet, and then it didn't come in the mail. Oh, man, that would be cool to find all that old mail.

I mean, it's probably illegal film to open it. Yeah, like, so they just have to throw it away? How does that work? Well, they just say they throw it away and then you open it. God. The Secret Service is coming after your ass, If it's. Are they in charge of that? So like the Secret Service is in charge of weird shit.

Like it's... I just do the money. I know they do the counterfeiting. I learned that on all the CSI episodes so they have to bring in the Secret Service. Oh. Yeah. Do you Lucey's Grant did that?

I learned that on the back of a Snapple cap. Should we follow up with Mike and be like, hey, what are we doing with all those packages? Send us a company. Yeah, honestly, yeah. We'll create a black market. Yeah, Mike, email us back. So wait, what year do we think that was?

Did he say? Was there a label on it? Oh, no, he didn't. But it's probably the 90s. Yeah. Like mid to late 90s, probably. Okay. All right.

95. Because it was part of, wasn't it a package deal with Windows 95? I can't remember. Why are you asking us? Yeah, this is, you guys might have read about it, you know.

You had a textbook? I got to ask my parents. People don't use textbooks anymore either. It's all Wikipedia. Kids are using textbooks, right, in schools? I honestly don't know. They have to. I don't know.

Do they have to? What are they going to give them like? iPads? I only get a portal to log in. I don't know what you're doing. Damn, maybe you're right. I don't know what they're up to. All right, let's get out of here. Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Krollers. Thank you, Jack. Thank you everyone for listening.

And thank you, and thank you. Who are going to the live show, if you have got tickets, the ringer.com slash events, July 30th, Los Angeles. It'll be fun. We're not. I don't know. It hasn't happened yet. But Kyle Shanahan will be there with his mustache. Yeah. true.

Kyle Shanahan. I've reached out to thick Russell Wilson. He might show up. That's why it's $500 to take it. Yeah. We're going to have Russ out there with us. Lauren.

Thank you, dudes of wrath. You're going to have to check out their discography. Is that how you say it? Discography. Guy man, dude. Guy man, dude. Guy man, dude. He toured with the guy being a dude.

He was also on the band, yes. Did you say that? I didn't say that Yeah there was a band called yes I know the band yes No you don't Yeah I do They sing owner of a lonely heart

That's a good song Oh really? Yeah Nice I know that song Owner of a lonely heart Wow because yeah they want That one big

Owner of a lonely heart Yeah That's a good one Anyway also when we're back We probably should have done this at the top We're going to twice a week After the 4th of July weekend Oh hell yeah

Yeah ramping back up ramping back up. Vacations over. Hyfids will be back. Hyphids is on vacation right now. That's the dedication that Hyphids has. We made him do a show with us on vacation. Thank you for joining us, Hyphids, from wherever you are. It looks like you're in the jungle, honestly, right now. It looks like South Carolina, baby. Some dense foliage behind you. What's been the best cocktail you've had on your travels?

Dude, Pinia colotta, man. Just a classic pinia colada. Yeah. We feet in the sand. It's like one of those things that like it's easy to make fun of, but holy shit. Some things in life, people have figured out, man. Pena colada, highest ceiling, lowest floor of any cocktail. Wow. You can have a bad pinia calada. It's a good take.

It's a good take. More than a margarita? Yeah, a margarita. Bad margaritas are pretty bad, actually. But it's like just tequila and lime juice, you're fine. No, but you age out because the mix, the mix, the like mixers that like are cheap when you're in college that like those age, those are like mobile quarterbacks, scrambling quarterbacks.

Like I can't do run like that anymore with the. What's in a peanut carburetina? How do you make a piniacair? I got this wrong yesterday, actually. I'm glad you asked you asked for coconut pinocada. And the bartender looks at me. They are coconut. What it is.

It's coconut and rum and pineapple and like milk or something. Yeah, we felt really dumb. So he looked at me like he was an idiot. And I was like, oh, well, I, sorry. I don't know what's in there. It says rum, cream of coconut and pineapple juice. usually served either blended or shaken with rice. Or ice, not rice.

Ice cold where it's like, you know when there's like tiny little ice bites in there? Yeah, no, that's nice. All right. Well, go have three more. We'll check in with you next week. If it's if he comes back. I feel like it's 50-50 at this point. He looks like he's living his best life right now.

Just looks so relaxed. I've never seen you so relaxed. I know. Because I haven't been talking to you. Have you been drinking pinia coladas already? What time is it there? He's drinking one now. Yeah, he looks like one giant

Pena Colada right now. I'll go get one. Oh, man. Well, have fun. Yeah, no problem there. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fandul is offering online sports wagering

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