The Ringer NFL Show - Hottest Fantasy Story Lines as Told by ‘Happy Gilmore’

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

Subscribe to our new YouTube channel! The guys talk through the hottest fantasy football story lines heading into the 2025 season, as explained by quotes from the movie ‘Happy Gilmore.’ Plus, emails! (00:00) Intro(01:58) News(11:34) ‘Happy Gilmore’(01:14:44) Emails! Check out our 2025 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig HorlbeckProducers: Kai Grady and Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyfitz, and I am joined on the T by Danny Kelly and Craig Horald Beck. And today we are going to tell you the storylines for the 2025 football season, as told, by Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore, Happy. Next on the Tee. Lafferty, Daniel. Who the hell is Happy Gilmore. So Happy Gilmore, too, is coming out Friday, and we wanted to honor the old Happy Gilmore slash emotionally hedge against the chance that Happy Gilmore 2 is horrific.

by... Chance. By reveling in the old Happy Gilmore, which I think we quote more than any other movie by far on this podcast. And there's a small chance to do when tarnishes the old one,

maybe a little. And so we wanted to memorialize this last moment, the last pure quoting of Happy Gilmore before the second movie probably over quotes the first one. So yeah, we're just going to go through and basically just to sign a bunch of words of quotes of like, hey, this quote reminds us

of that dumb thing. First, a couple things. Number one, we have our rankings are out you can go to the episode description we've a link to our rankings or rankings are updated the whole site facelift it looks different so you can check out

our rankings we're obviously all free season we're going to be talking about our ranks they're looking sexy you got a facelift and has all the right tweaks and all the right places it's the best one we've put out it's tight they do look they do look sexy so it's really good go to the

and we do have a draft tracker I got a few tweets about do you have a draft tracker this year we do have a draft tracker so you can use that during your draft to kind of highlight and save the players you want and run to your draft using our track. So Kai and Carlos is going to put the link to the rankings in the episode description. And also we have a YouTube channel. Please subscribe to the YouTube channel.

Ring your fantasy football on YouTube. And also Instagram. Ring your fantasy football on Instagram. Okay. Before we get to Apple, I do want to just do a little summer camp because this is the best. It's the best week of the year is the first week of training camp. I really do feel like-

To jump to conclusions. Social media during. training camp, I would argue, is even more fun than social media during the NFL season. Because it's just like, it's what Twitter is built for. It's like baseless claims on extremely limited information. You take it as gospel and then just move on. It's the best. There's so many great things. We're like two days in. It's already great. I got a text from my father-in-law who just sent me a picture, just a tweet of just Jackson Dart. And it was just like, Jackson Dart, first training camp throw pick six, like 10 exclamation points. And I'm like, look, man.

Yes. But then there's also just people, there's just receivers winning one on drills versus cornerback. And Trey Harris, the charges just gets a, gets a cornerback on a slant. And they're like,

oh my God, he put him on skates. I'm like, it's a slant. Gonna be a problem. That worked. I saw a couple of Trey Harris clips. I was like,

I think I'm in? Like, I think I'm just in. I've seen all I need to see. Oh my God. Anyway, so. Yeah, so over the next coming week, we want to kind of start some of our shows

with just like some training. Fodder that has jumped out to us. Can I start? Please. Do it. Okay. Did you guys see the Tua? The Tua comment. Yes. Tua, not the best at press conferences, I would say. Like, is he too honest, Craig? Is that what you're saying? Too honest. Too honest. Very good. Yeah. So, for those of you who don't know, Tua recently an oppressor after training camp talked about Tiree Kill and rebuilding the relationship with the team after Tyree Kill after last season was like, I'm out.

I don't want to be here anymore. And he's obviously still in Miami. And so Tua said, and I quote, when you say it's a work in progress, the relationship, and quote, when you say something like that, you don't just come back with my bad. You got to work that relationship up. He is working on himself.

Here's my entire take about this whole like dolphins, bad vibes. Tyreek wanted to leave. Tua is upset. I think this is just, I'm just going to draft Tyree Kill. I honestly am. I kind of think the pendulum has swung way too far. and we've just decided he's washed. I don't think he is.

He's 31. There was a clip of him burning some cornerback and catching like a 60-yard touchdown from Tua today. Maybe this quote will actually help Tyree Kill. I don't know. I'm just like, John Newsmith's gone. The run game is going to be better. If that helps, Tyreeks are going to be better

and there's going to be more deep shots. I think Tyree Kill in like the late second round, I'm just like, I'm in. You can probably get him later than that, too. You know what I mean? Yeah. This doesn't bother me. I think where I've landed with Tyree Kill

is I totally see the, a possibility that Tua stays healthy and everyone's too afraid of Tuiui getting hurt and everyone's too afraid of Tiree Kill being great again or whatever. Well, I wish I hadn't said it that way. But, oh, well, but I've decided that I think that is a smart and calculated risk that gives you league winning upside potentially. And also, I'm going to let you do that. Okay, that's fine.

There's so many players in the first, like, that first 30 picks where I'm like, that guy could win your league. And I'm like, Tyree Kill. Yeah. I just I just I don't disagree with any of you're saying We have him ranked 28 next to Kairn Williams

Like really You'd rather have Kyrin Williams and Tyre That's a that's a that's a coin flip for you I think I'd rather I'd rather have the quarterbacks at this point I have all four quarterbacks I have Jalen Hertz Josh Allen Lamar Jackson Jadanos I think That's fair

But let's say you don't want a quarterback Yeah And you're debating between you know Tyree kills around Jackson Smith and Jigba Mike Evans, Kiron Williams I'm kind of like, I don't know. Tyreek Hill. Tyreek Hill could, like, if Tua play 17 games,

I'm kind of like, could Tyreek be the wide receiver one? Yeah. I don't think Jackson. Well, if Tyrake'll play 17 games. I mean, again, the blurbs, we have, you know, we wrote a bunch of the stuff for our rankings. We have little blurbs there. Again, got a whole sexy facelift.

And like the, or no, what does Tom Cruise get face stretches? Like, stretchers. Is that a lot of facelift is? Right. The thing that's like a phenomenal word. That's what we did at the guide. We just stretched the skin, got all the wrinkles out. Whatever page your past.

Pascal did to his neck. Oh, my God. Really good work. If anyone knows, Patrick Pascal's neck guy, you know, email us. But anyway, I think that Tyree Kill basically, literally all the dolphins, they're just twice as efficient with two on the field, twice as many yards, twice as many, everything. Like, you know. And the secret tosses. Like, if they can run the ball, that opens everything up in the passing game.

That's the thing. Everyone's like, well, if they can run. Because, you know, they added a rookie second round guard. And then the left tackle, who's never played before? I'm like, what if those guys suck? Not a James Daniels fan? Yeah, but what injury? Isn't he coming off a horrific injury? It's in Achilles, I believe, right?

Yeah. So they have James Daniels, so the right guard is coming off in Achilles. The left guard is a rookie and the left tackles, Patrick Paul has never played. And everyone's just like, it's different, so it'll be fine. I'm like, ah, they probably might suck. I'd rather have Devon H.N. I'm going to keep, I'm going to keep paying Tua to slander Tyreek so that his ranking drops. Just piss him off. Dika, do you have any out of context?

viral summer camp tweets? I mean, I don't there's this one has context. Daniel Jones working with the ones to open practice.

Sorry, this is for Mike Chapel, who covers the Colts. Daniel Jones working with the ones to open practice. Later,

Richardson with the ones. Neither guy lighting it up. Both throwing interceptions left and right. I really like old grizzled beat writer like negativity at this time of year.

It's always the best because obviously there's like a ton of people who are, you know, sending videos of some guy warming up and be like, he's going to be a problem. And then, you know, the old grizzled vets are just like,

the moron, the guy who showed up to the Titans training camp and asked the GM, one question, one question only. Do you think that this team can win the Super Bowl? Yes or no? To the team that just had the number one pick in the NFL draft. Dude, they all paused. They kind of looked at each other.

And we're like, I mean, we have a lot of work to do. Oh, that's. worst record in the NFL last year. Yeah, that's incredible. Craig, any other ones? This is so stupid. But I saw a tweet of Ted McMillan running through like the ladder drill on the ground

where you like shuffle through the ladder as quickly as you can back and forth. And somebody was like, they found a guy in Ted McMillan. And I was like, the best is Craig. The video is like the video is looking through practice. Like it's like the other side of the entire field. There's like people in the foreground. Practicing. And then there's Ted McMillan running a ladder.

He's a zipping through that ladder. Did you see him catch the ball with one hand? Yeah, I did. After the ladder? Barely even looked at it. I mean, come on. On the other hand. One of the first fights we had on a podcast was I, I've very short fuse for these videos.

And I think he's some up like slop from the trough. Do I? Do I really? I do for sure. I love it. This was an early fight. It's candy. I think it was, if I'm remembering correctly, it was like a guy coming off an injury and I was like, look, he's moving fast. That's good. It's like super part of the job. It's complete empty calorie BS, but I love it. You know, it's dessert for me. I just, I know. I just, I just, I just, I should probably just let people be happy, but also.

Yeah, you're the one who always says don't yuck my yum, pal. A little hypocrite over here. I'm a, I'm a summer camp. video Yum Yucker. 100%. I'm just young. You're like, oh, football players played football. Crazy.

If it feels the same way about training camp clips as Happy Gilmore does about that clown. 100. Yes. I do hate that clown. All right.

Hold on. There's one more. This one doesn't have anything to do with practice, but the Browns on a large barge out in the water, I guess,

assuming it was somewhere near training camp practice, unveiled a new helmet. And it was like this giant, blown up helmet the size, you know, like 25 feet tall or something like that. And there's, you can see like off in the distance. You can see a guy's videotaping it like probably one of their social team videotaping on

this barge, the unveiling of this big ass thing. And he just falls off the barge. So was this real. You can't make this stuff up. It is real. My first question was whether, you know, first take yesterday the day before got got got and they played at George Pickens, catch his touchdown in end zone. But it was a different player from last year's training camp.

and they just know and they let ESPN with it. No way. And so I watched that dog video. I'm like, I wonder what I hear this is from? And I just kind of kept scrolling. But then actually the guy got knocked off. Yeah,

like he kind of was leading too far. Well, you know, he just was not paying attention and he fell off. Also, like, I kind of think we're going a little bit overboard on like unveiling alternate helmets.

Right. Okay. We have a giant. I actually love the alternate helmet thing because they didn't let teams change the helmets for so long. It's actually sick that they do it now. I don't mind that I like the idea. of wearing alternates,

but they're unveiling an alternate helmet that you're probably going to see once this year called the alpha dog, and it's just a brown helmet. And I'm like, okay. That's a beta dog energy. It's tough. The browns are in a sticky situation

with their jerseys because they have kind of the worst color combo and the most boring helmets. There's not a lot they can do. You can add like stripes to the jersey and stuff. Okay. Let's do happy Gilmore. It's time.

This is the dumbest thing we do. But every year we kind of just pick a movie and we do movie quotes. And that explain the fantasy football season. It's not that deep. But you know what? It's surprisingly effective because sometimes you don't need all the stats in the EPA per play. You actually just need a player. You're on the draft board.

It's going tick, tick, tick. And you have eight seconds left. And you're like, oh, yeah, you're right. This guy sucks. Right. I forgot. And then you remember the quote. Because men can't remember stats, but they can remember quotes.

So, D.K., it is only right if you lead us off here. because yeah you're like Chubs number one you know you're kind of the grizzled old vet you're pretty sick Chubs I've got that bastard's eye though I don't know which one to start with I'm just going to start with this one

the scene where Kevin Nealyn's character comes up to happy God damn it DK that's my top quote but Kevin Neeland just like he's really into like you know hokey stuff I don't know how to even explain what his philosophy is

but I just good vibes Yeah, good vibes. He's a lot of pressure. You got to rise above it. You got a harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness energy, block bad. Feel the flow, happy. Feel it. It's circular. It's like a carousel. You pay the cord, you get on the horse. It goes up and down and around. It's circular with the music. It goes up and down and around. Circular. Circular. Circular. Circle. Circle. With the music. You pay the course. You get on the horse. I just picture Aaron Rogers, like introducing himself and bothering all the Steelers. rookies with his new age mumbo jumbo. And they just walking away going, psycho, psycho.

I literally had the exact same thing. Oh, mine for that quote was Ben Johnson going up to Caleb Williams this year. And he's like, ooh, yeah, I feel a lot of good solid energy coming out of you. Good positive aura. Great, great. It's all great. A lot of pressure, block it out. You've got to rise above it.

Caleb Williams is like, Jesus Christ, this guy doesn't blink. The ball has its own aura, its energy. It's a life force. if you will. Dude, that's like all time. The era in movies when it was just like,

the friends of these SNL cast members just showing up for a scene and he just like probably improvised that whole thing. Him saying circular circle with the music. It's like a carousel.

It's just good. They probably did like five takes of that and that one was the best one. And it is so funny. I think Happy Gilmore has one of the heaviest Dion Waiters categories where it's like somebody

who shows up for two minutes and just crushes. Oh, 100%. I didn't actually have a quote for this. But rewatching the movie last night, I had the realization that Happy Gilmore's ex-girlfriend Terry, she is the ultimate Dion waiters. Like, she comes out firing fucking gas the whole time. She, like, the initial scene where she's like leaving, she's getting on the elevator to go. She's like, bye.

When are you coming back? Never? Like, I just love it. It's like so random. Like, it doesn't seem like they just had a fight. Like, it's just a very normal day and she's like, I'll never see ya. Bye. Never?

There's one problem happy. You're not any good. Whatever happened to that actor. I don't feel like I've seen her in anything. No idea who that is. Dude, I think the guy who just looks, the guy who said, uh, Grizzly Adams did have a beard. And then like, he just pops up throughout the movie, shaking his head back and forth. That guy crushes.

Yeah, he's a professional golfer, isn't he? Oh, is he? Let me check. Oh, yeah. What's his name? I know there's a lot of them in the movie. A lot of the guys I don't recognize. That guy's great.

What is that guy's name? Lee Trevino. Yeah, Lee Trevino. Okay. Which I didn't know that when I watched it like the first 100 times. He's there. He's there when Chubbs falls out the window. What is he?

Why do you there? So the Rogers thing, I was thinking about this. I mean, I'm not going to draft Aaron Rogers in fantasy football. Like if you have a two quarterback league, you can take them obviously toward the back. But I was thinking about him mostly with D.K. Metcalfe. And I was looking at our rankings. So in our updated rankings, so again, the episode description is a link. We have D.K. Metcalfe 54th.

And I was interested that actually I am higher, like significantly higher than Danny Kelly on D.K. Metcalf, which is funny because I actually think the me shit talking D.K. Mekaf is the single most triggering football related thing I've ever said to Danny Kelly. I've never made him angrier than just saying over a text, D.K. Metcalf overrated. And then I got like 12, he did pro football reference searches and was typing out. He wrote like a column for the ringer. I threw some stats at you. Matt at me.

So I was shocked that it was 15 spots later. And I ultimately kind of came to the fact that I feel like where you rank Metcalf is just a referendum on do you believe in Aaron Rogers Steelers? Yes or no. Metcalf is underrated? No, he's overrated. Dek is that basically why you're low? You're out on the Steelers and Rogers.

I just worry that Rogers and Metcalf are not going to be on the same page in a lot of cases. Because Mercalf. Circular, a circle. What is there to miss? You put it in the corner, you go on the horse. it goes up and down and around. Circular. Circle with the music, the flow.

All good things. I actually like, ironically, like kind of love Kevin Nealyn's character in this in that movie. I want to be, I like want to be friends with him. When Happy's like doing well and like doing the like the dance around the grain and just cuts to Kevin Neal and he goes, feeling it. Doing the bull dance. Feeling the flow. Working it. Working it.

He's like so proud of him. He's like, so proud of him. He's like, why don't you send him? him home. Send him home. Bags are back. He's got his airplane ticket. So you basically don't think, but you don't think Metcalf is, is that a polite

way of saying these personalities is going to clash? Is that a polite way of saying, Metcalf is a detailed-oriented receiver and Rogers demands guys be exactly, right? Like, why don't you believe in that combo? The latter, more than like the personality thing. I'm not too worried about the personalities clashing as much as we make fun of Aaron Rogers. I'm more just stylistically, like you said, Aaron Rogers wants a guy to be where he's

supposed to be exactly at the right time. There's so much, you know, going back to like Devante Adams, so much of it is this really just unspoken connection that they have where they seem to know, like, immediately without having to actually do use any verbal communication like what to do in any certain situation against any coverage. You know, I'm going to go this way. And he just knows it. They had that strong of a connection.

I don't really know if I see D.K. McCaff being that detail-oriented at this point in his career. And so I just think he's going to be really volatile. You know, he's already kind of a volatile player even, you know, when he was with Russell Wilson and Gina Smith. And now just it's there's going to be some highs and lows. See, I think the more interesting angle here is D.K. and I both have similar thoughts about D.K. Metcalfe based on our rankings. Hythich, you're the one who's higher. I think the consensus is that we have a lot of questions about this offense. Metcalf style with Aaron Rogers style clearly don't work on paper. But you have him a lot higher than us. Why?

I do. And it's a good question. And the answer isn't necessarily because of D.K. Metcalf. The answer is because I think that there's like a couple clear tiers to me of players. I think that there's, you know, you can count the top two, three, whatever, say Juan, Jamar Chase, whatever. But I think there's an incredible top, let's call it 25 players. And you could, you know, there's a top 12. There's a top 25, whatever. But I'm so happy if I get three of the top 20, five players, I would be like overjoyed, which basically is the top eight running backs. It's like Sequin through at A. Chan or Ashton Genti. There's, you know, Jamar Chase at receiver through all the way to like Drake London, A.G.

Brown, Labaconki. So that becomes like almost 20 got Trey McBride. That's like 20-ish guys. And then I like the four quarterbacks. I'm higher on the four quarterbacks. That gets you to 24, 25, if you include Johnson Taylor. And then there's like a second tier of guys where I'm like happy to have. And that's like the Josh Jacobs, Chase Brown, Kyron Williams, Buckie Irving.

And then there's like Tyree Kill, Jackson Smith and Jigma, Mike Evans, Tee Higgins, Bree Hall. And so that to me, George Kittles in there. And that creates like a top 40. I have between 41 and like 70. They're all the same to me. Like, and I know not literally, but like 41 to 70, D.K. Metcalfe, I have 42nd. But me, to me, it's more like, you know, we have Calvin Ridley 54th and we're hiring him.

I'm like, dude, you could, I could totally see Calvin Ridley. be better than DK.K. Metcalf from week one, like, like the stretch run of the race. And I think Metcalf, I'm more just like apathetic about that group of receivers there because they all have upside, but could go wrong. Like they're all kind of weird. They're Ted McMillan's a rookie. I have, I'm high on him. Garrett Wilson. I like Garrett Wilson a lot, but it's Justin Fields. It's like there's all these weird things. I probably should move Garrett Wilson over Metcalf, but I just, that group of receivers is so squishy, especially now that Rishi rice is going to get suspended. So I don't know. That's a lot of word salad. But overall, that, that, that, that

group. So basically you could care less about that group. They're all jumbled in the same too. Honestly, yeah. I don't want to be like picking a ton. I don't know. I feel like there. I'd rather be like getting the 10th receiver out of there than the first because I don't

want to reach. I hope I get, I'd rather get Omerian Hampton for the charges. That's not a great answer. But anyway, I probably should move down because I don't want to be on this fucking Steelers bandwagon. But you totally. I'm going to say.

All right. Craig, give us an Alpe Gilmore quote here. So the quote we bring up all the time. One of our favorites here on the show is, is the, oh yeah, what do you finish? Dead last? No, no, yeah, he had a good day, though.

Shooter McGavinquillard. I was too busy winning. I was thinking about, like, Justin Fields, now getting 17 games as a starter and being like this, like, rushing phenom, kind of like the happy Gilmore drive, where it's like, that's kind of all he can do. And I'm just imagining, like, end of the season, interviewing Mahomes. And it's like, man, you got to admit, Justin Fields,

1300 yards rushing. Pretty impressive, right? And Mahomes like, oh, yeah, yeah, would the Jets finish? Dead last? No, no, yeah, yeah, he had a good day, though. I just love the idea that Justin Fields is in this tier in fantasy. Like Anthony Richardson was last year, where he's clearly the outlier in terms of skill and talent.

But the rushing is the 450-yard drive. Yeah. And so it's just like absolutely no matter what puts him in the top 10 because he can fucking drive the green every time. It is like the meme of the two dragons that are like, we're all fierce and that Justin Fields is like the dopey dragon that probably shouldn't have a starting job. And it's like, damn.

Patrick LaHolmes is all mad at like, everyone who loves Justin Fields in fantasy they're like damn you people go back to your shanties this is fantasy ball not a rock concert

I love how many times Shooter McGavin says this is golf in the movie excuse me excuse me this is golf trying to find my ball this is golf this is golf

it's so funny it's not a rock concert I had the same I had a similar thing Craig I had that with Jalen Hertz somehow being behind Jaden Daniels in fantasy.

And like, we're actually higher on Jailen. So we have Jalen Hertz fourth. I have him third. You guys am fourth. But we have them all like top 30. Jalen Hertz and ESPN, Yahoo, mostly wherever you look. Jalen Hertz is almost 40th. He's like 38th. And I had the same quote of the Jalen Hurts like, oh, sorry, I was too busy winning.

And there's this whole meta conversation going on now. It's like, is Jalen Hurtz being disres being disrespected because Eagles fans get pissed when you're like Jailen Hurts is not as Lamar Jackson or Josh Allen. That's the only thing they have to be mad about something. It's like you just win the Super Bowl. You have the best team we've seen in five. years. You destroyed the fucking chiefs in Mahomes and everyone's like, yeah, but you guys don't respect Jalen Erfiel. I know. But the irony is Jalen Hertz has actually been disrespected in fantasy

football because Jalen Hertz, I love Jalen Daniels. And I get why Jaden Daniels is going ahead of Jalen Hertz, although I disagree with it. But the idea that like Brees Hall would be taken ahead of Jalen Hertz, I mean, Jalen Hertz, fun fact, player, like, do you know who has more active career rushing touchdowns than Jalen Harts? Derek Henry. And Josh Allen. That's it. Like straight up. Yeah, yeah. Like, really? If you include the playoffs, Jalen Hertz. Wild.

Really? A tremendous looking trophy you got there. Wow. A tremendous looking trophy. But the Jalen Hertz, if you just count games that matter, so you take out week 18, but you include the playoffs. Jalen Hertz is 52 rushing touchdowns and 53 games. Wow. And one of those was the one versus Washington where he played 11 snaps and then left the game.

So it's actually 52 touchdowns and 52 games. And I'm like, we have seen Jailen Hertz points per game. at like 22 for five different seasons, and Jaden Daniels just does it once. He's added less than 13 rushing touchdowns in four seasons. He's the most consistent game-to-game player of our entire, like, maybe ever. Josh Allen's season is season is the most consistent player,

but week to week, Jalen hurts to score a touchdown is the best bet you can make. And I just think in this joke of a sport we play where it's impossible to predict, the idea that the most predictable single player in the sport is going to go 38th is fucking crazy. It's like, sorry, you're too busy winning. I also think that I think there is some regression coming for the Eagles

where in fantasy could actually help Jalen Hertz where I think his goal line role is not going anywhere. You have the added bonus specifically for his case in fantasy that Sequin coming off his workload, you're not necessarily sure if you'll get 17 games out of him, which helps Jalen Hertz more inside the red zone. But also just like the Eagles ran it at a historic rate last year, like historic rate.

And that stuff usually doesn't repeat. I think there is natural regression coming for Jalen Hertz just passing the ball. And for Devante Smith and A.J. Brown, if the defense is a little bit worse, I mean, the Eagles were like not losing last year in any games. They ran the ball more than any team in a long time. And so I think just the passing upside mixed with the rushing stability of Jalen Hertz, potentially could make him even better this year. I totally agree. Yeah. So good luck with Greece Hall and finished dead last. 1,300 yards, though, right?

Hell of a rusher that Justin Fields. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, four and 12. I love the golf. The golf journalist. You got a bit, though, hell of a drive. He's got out of 450 yards. I want to live in a sports world like Happy Gilmore.

Yeah, same. You know what I mean? It seems so pure. Happy or whatever his name is. Shooter has his back to the crowd when he's like getting interviewed at the first, the Waterbury Open, and then he just turns around. He's like, even though not all of you will be my, colleagues, you are all now my friends.

I also love that. Everyone's like, aw. It's also- Aaron Rogers walking into the Steelers building. I love that at the beginning of that interview, like the tour director or whatever who introduces it. You can just like sea shooter standing with his head down behind him. That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah. He's like fucking Robert Danny Jr. coming out at Comic-Con. By the way, why does the tour director Doug Thompson look just like David Miskavage or Miscavage or whatever? Doug Minkavis. the baseball player?

No, the Scientology. David Miscavage. I'm sorry, I messed up his name. David Miscavich or Miscovich. So that wasn't my fault. Okay. I got to tell you, I don't know who that guy looks like. He does kind of look like David Miscavage.

Is this kind of famous director when Scientologists in the 90s? He runs the Scientology church. Oh, the director of Scientology. Oh, the director of itself. Yes. Number one. You know what? I was going to make funny.

He does look like that guy. He does look like him. That's the other guy. We can't make fun of this guy, right? Kick him off the tour, Doug. No, he can't make fun of them. No, David Miss. Yeah, he's doing great work for the church.

Doing incredible work. That Doug guy's great too. Everyone in this movie is like very good. Perfectly cast. I think this movie is genuinely watching it again for like the 100th time. It holds up. So well directed and tightly written. The happy paying off the house with the subways or trying to with the subway money

and doing the subway commercial was held up really well. You know what else? Like a random thing I thought about that held up really well. The sound that they do with Happy's drives when he hit the ball and a jet engine.

I didn't realize how much that's like burned in my brain, but like that sound is perfect. And I didn't realize how much I try to, my brain like wishes that would play when I hit a golf ball. Dude, I even think the camera work of the ball like flying through the course

or through the neighborhood in the beginning of the movie is really well done. I got chills. I'm embarrassed to it. He should have been standing there. The part where, when he's like, come over here and try not drive the amazing golf ball whacker guy.

One of his shots is like going up into the net at like 400 yards. I'm like, it's so well. On that note, I want to take this moment. If you guys feel the same, as I'm rewatching this movie for this episode, the whole movie is basically about Anthony Richardson. Like, I think I had seven different things I could have used for Anthony. Oh, man, that was so much easier than putting. I should just do that every time.

Him like throwing off his back foot an 80-yard touchdown. Yeah, he's like, that was so much easier than just trying to check it down to Jonathan Taylor. I can't do that. Anthony Richardson's 48% career completion rate. And he's like, just tap it in. Just tap it. Just tap it. I'm going to watch Anthony Richardson now.

I'm going to be like, tap, tap a roo. Taparoo. His bags are back. Just send him home. that goal regulation sized or what? Damn it. But the whole, the whole, like literally Chris Ballard, the Geo-Cultz GM scouting Richardson is the beginning with the hockey.

And they're like, you know, he can't really skate. Can't really handle the puck. But man, watch him shoot. Oh, my God. But yeah, I've ranted enough about Richardson, but I do. Oh, I had that written down too. I have it's. My short pitch is just, I think he's the best fantasy by low asset ever because he's

basically free. He's not being drafted. You should take him one pick before your defense and your kicker. And then if he doesn't get the job, cut him. but if Anthony Richardson gets the job and plays well on week one, like that's a difference. Just, again, it's free. Like, you'll cut him for some running back backup who gets hurt after week one.

Like, it's fine. But I just think. Maybe hockey is, maybe Anthony Richardson's football is Happy Gilmore's hockey. Oh my God, we read, Happy Gilmore 3 is Anthony Richardson plays hockey. That's good. Mighty Ducks 4, Happy Gilmore 3 crossover. Yeah, yeah.

It's actually pretty good. It's not bad. Write that down. Kai, cut that out of the show. We have to pitch something. Yeah, there's so many Richardson ones It was all I could think about during the movie. D.K., what else you got?

This is something that you've brought up, Pfeith, so I don't feel bad saying it again. But the Bryce Young playing horribly last season, kind of going off the rails. I think it was the last term of the Tour Championship, happy gets hit by the car, and then he starts like, he can't do anything. And he tries to go to his happy place. just like a fucking nightmare. He's like, Shooter of Gavin's

making out with his girlfriend. And then his grandma. I forgot that they were like, they're French, shoot Bavid's French kissing the grandma. Yeah. And then he like starts like sucking on the like, yeah.

Oh, the kiss mask with the tongue. And then have he just goes, ah! But I'm like, I was like, that was pretty much where Bryce Young was at one point last year. He managed to,

because he, as high as he said, it was on the record. Tyreys Maxi was dating. his girlfriend. That's so good, D.K. I'm so jealous of that. Tyree's Maxy just walks in, kicks over the beer and starts making it out with his girlfriend

and Bryce Young's grandmother. The happy place stuff is so fucking funny. Like, obviously, you know, Julie Bowen and... That meant a lot for me when I was 10. Oh, Craig, I was going to ask you, for men of a certain age, Craig. Meant a lot. Among other things in that mental image, I think I realized watching this run of Happy Gilmore that that exact thing of her carrying the beer in his

like daydreams. It's like she's going through the spruisers with two two fucking kegs or two pictures of beer. Two pictures of beer and I realized that's in my mind's eye. You know you have mental contact images for things? I think that that's my image of a picture of beer. Is her holding them? Like that was the first time I think I'd ever seen a picture of beer.

Oh yeah. That's a great call. I think it's what modern family wouldn't have worked unless it was for Julie Bowen in that scene of Happy Gilmore. Every millennial was like, Bowen? I'm in. Yeah.

also the part where Chubbs is like chin up at me and then he's like playing the he's like I got my hand back and we've only just be good He has a good voice Carl Weathers That sounds like actually him I just like

All right I just like love this movie so much But anyway St.SU legend Carl Weathers Yeah DK wait Panthers Do you think Bryce Young stays in his happy place This like do you buy it? Because I think the key is him

Being able to stay in that happy place Yeah He has to have... Ted McMillan is the new putter. He does ladder now, yeah. Oh, Ted McMillan's the new... I think I would draft Ted. I think Ted is a good value

because he's going to be the number one. He's going to play all the time. I do think Bryce is in his happy place. I don't know. I don't really want Chuba Hubbard. You can have him. It's fine, but I'm not going to... I don't see the path to Chuba Hubbard

being a top five running back. I could see Ted McMillan being a pretty incredible receiver, potentially. I guess I'm more willing to bet on Bryce Young being in his happy place than Aaron Rogers doing the circle, circle, circle. The other thing that's ironic about this is it was

Happy Gilmore got hit by a car, and that was kind of what led to this, but Andy Dalton getting hit by a car. He was in his car. So, you know, a lot of parallels. That is good. Another Dion Waders Award winner, the heckler. You help not hit this butt. Jackass.

You jackass. I think the new one, it's Eminem. And I'm like, uh, what? I'm like, hey, shooter. Want to go to Sinclair? Catch some grub? He's all that he's just all he wants to go to these like red lobster. He wants to go to the sizzler.

I just think about this. Whatever happened to sizzlers, are they still around? I think they just went bankrupt. I thought we were going to be friends. We are. I just remember when Hooters went bankrupt right after we talked about Hooters, like a day later and then Hooters came back because we saved it? Wow, I think there are still sizzlers.

There's still a sizzler website. Speaking of things I understand, I love when places just go bankrupt, but then they just keep going. I don't know how that works. I don't know how bankruptcy works. I declare bankruptcy. Craig, give us another happy quote. This is a small one, but at the beginning of the movie,

when Virginia Venet, great name, played by Julie Bowen, meets Shooter, and she's trying to, like, talk about her ideas and, like, things she has. It reminded me, or it just made me think of, like, Brian Schottenheimer's first meeting with Jerry Jones. Jeez, you know, it would be great. If I could get a Pepsi.

Oh, my God. I just have a lot of ideas about the offenses and what we could do. You know, it would be great, Brian. If I could get a Pepsi. Oh, like, miss? That is so good. Yeah. Wait, on that note, I have a list of things that

Shooter McGavin says in this movie that I thought Jerry Jones would say. Okay. And the happy's responses are like Micah Parsons quote tweets. So I can imagine Jerry Joe. Like, I'm just picturing these as like posts on or Blue Sky, if you will, or Twitter. But like, it's like, you see the quote. And it's Jerry Jones at a press conference. He's like, I eat pieces of shit.

like you for breakfast. And Michael Parsons quote tweets it like, you eat pieces of shit for breakfast? No. No. He nails that. I was thinking of that too, Craig. I don't know how many takes they did,

but he like turns around and goes, I'm telling you, I think the acting in this movie is like elite tier. I really do. I think everybody knows their job. Even the grandmother. She's great. Everybody knows, like,

even if it's cheesy, they know they're supposed to be cheesy. There are like certain lines that are supposed to read a little bit more wooden, and they nail it. It's so good. I also forgot the Ben Stiller's character, like they don't wrap that. In my head,

I always think that that gets resolved and it doesn't, which is also funny. Well, they get her out of the home, so it's like, I know, but he, yeah,

but the other one that I thought Jerry Jones, I could see saying, he's like, you're going to beat me all right. And Grizzly Adams had a beard. It's like, Grizzly Adams did have a beard. Well,

real estate speculation is one of my hobbies. But, but yeah, Jerry's insane. I love that we had back-to-back quotes about Jerry this week of Stephen Jones, his son saying, yeah, Jerry doesn't really talk to the agents. I'd talk to the agents. We don't let him do that.

And then Jerry Jones also saying, basically, why would, you know, I'm going to just read it because he had this whole rant about Micah Parsons. That was hilarious. I could see Jerry Jones buying Micah Parsons' grandmother's childhood home. Yeah. Just because he can. That was my room. Before Mike gets his contract.

Perfect. But Jerry, his rationale, they were like, why won't you pay Michael Parsons basically? Which, by the way, the answer is very simple. Jerry Jones likes free media. He doesn't want to pay for advertising. So he likes that everyone's talking about the Cowboys on the show. He thinks it's like a commercial that he doesn't have to pay for, which is why he gets Dak Prescott's contract done at 11 a.m. on Sunday week one.

So it's just a show. So with that said, everyone's like, why are they going to pay him? You're going to pay him? I'm like, they're going to pay him. And then Jerry Jones says, he's like, you ever heard of a guy? He's like, a lot of things could happen. You could get hit by a car. You ever heard of guys committed to players of them not panning out?

And then just paused as if that was the smartest thing anyone had ever said. It's like, you know, sometimes guys aren't good. And then he's like, just because we sign him, doesn't mean we're going to have him. He was hurt six games last year. He was hurt four games. I just, yeah, Jerry, but yeah, everything Jerry says now, I'm just like, he's too old. He's so old. Him and is old, yeah.

One of his fans mooned me the other day. Don't you think, though, Brian Schottenheimer, like I think a big narrative of this offseason is all of the new play callers, all of the new coaches, the coaching carousel, all that stuff. Brian Schottenheimer just being the head coach of the Cowboys, one of the most famous, the most famous team in the NFL, I feel like is really not a story, and nobody is discussing it. And that also Jerry wants it.

That's kind of why he doesn't want to someone outshine him. And again, I know that I sound like a, you know, armchair psychology. But this is the truth is that Jerry won a lot with Jimmy Johnson in the 90s, and then Jimmy outshined him. And Jerry has wanted the winning. but he wants to be, he wants to be the one walking the locker and saying,

how about them, Cowboys, like that, so all the coaches aren't supposed to outshine Jerry. That's what him and Parcells didn't work. Having said that, to your point, Craig,

I actually think it's funny. If you actually look, some of the coaches we made the most fun of have been the most successful when they were first hired, Dan Campbell with a kneecap biting, Nick Ziriani, just botching his first press conference.

And I do think that, you know, as much as we do talk, I talk about Liam Cohen, being the Jagger's head coach, Ben Johns with the Bears. To your point, there is something to be said for Schottheimer

who, Like the same with Sean McVeigh's grandfather was the 49ers GM. And the same with Kyle Shannon's dad as Mike Shannon, you know, was one of the three most successful coaches probably last 30 or 40 years after like he's up there with after Belichick and Andy Reid. It's like, you know, it helps that Brian Sean and his dad has been in this forever. And I'm like, I don't know. I wouldn't be shocked if like base competency is very underrated in all of this. He's got another head coach Matt Eberfleur running the defense, which I think could help.

I don't know. It's not going to be perfect. But I just, I am bullish on the Cowboys. Bullis on them having these three Tyler's on the offensive line. Like they have Tyler Booker. They have Tyler Smith. They have Tyler Guyton.

Like if Guyton develops, I don't know. They can have another like big young offensive line. I think it could work. Yeah, I see them a little bit like the, the Niners only in that they had this kind of brief down year where a lot of stuff went wrong and everybody kind of hopped off the train.

And now I think like I do think it's much more likely that we see the Dallas from 2023 than the Dallas of 2024 this year. think that the key is whether George Bickens can unlock the offense to which I thought of Adam Siler or like when he's in the beginning he's playing hockey and he's like, you know, during high school I played junior hockey and I still hold two league records. Most time in the penalty box and I was the only guy to take off a skate and try to stab somebody. Well played. George Bickens, baby. Wow. That's something. He also says that to what's her name, Victoria Bennett comes over to him after he wins. Oh yeah, sorry, Virginia. And he's she's like 450 yard drive. That must be some kind of

or like, pulling one on a par four, that must be some kind of record. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I have a hockey record,

too. I'm the only guy that tried to take his skate off and stab a guy. I love his, like, when he talks about his ex-girlfriend, just out of nowhere with Virginia.

He's like, you know, my ex-girlfriend died. She fell off a cliff and died on impact. She's dead. I had that as the Giants when they got to talk

to Matt Stafford for the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a girlfriend. She died on impact. He fell off a cliff. His grandma asked him about his girlfriend, too and he's like, yeah, she's dead.

She got hit by a car. She's dead. Yeah, she's dead. I just love when they're like, they're out on the, like the ninth green prank that shooter pulls on him. And then he meets Virginia. And then he's just like, you know, my girlfriend's dead, you know. She's like, okay.

Oh, man. D.K., wait, before it, next one. Yeah. Gun to your head. Who actually has better points per game this season, George Pickens or D.K. McK. Pickens. Yeah, I think so too.

I have them right next to each other. But I think everyone's very high on Pickens. It's weird because I don't want it to work. On one hand, you're betting on one of those volatile guys in the NFL personally and also might not get that many targets, but I'm also just like, man, the Cowboys are going to throw it so much. Like the offense is going,

and the defense is probably not going to be that good. And they're going to have to throw it a lot. And obviously, they're not going to be necessarily a power running team. They have Miles Sanders and Giovante Williams. Like, the DAC is the, is almost said quarterback. the offense no shit. I mean, like, even when D.K. McHaff was traded to the Steelers and before Pickens was traded away, we were like, these guys are very similar style of receivers.

Like, you know, probably pretty volatile week in and week out in terms of like the volume that they're getting, the touchdown. They're probably going to be touchdown dependent. Not, you know, they're like more like deep threat type guys. So they are very similar players, I think. But the offense environment in Dallas is so much better than what's going to be in Pittsburgh, almost surely. Yeah. Going to be more touchdowns. Like,

they're just will. So, you know, obviously, you know, if he takes his cleats off and tries to stab a guy, then that's different. But,

yeah. And, you know, he's trying to start fights after touchdowns. What was the context of that? Craig? I can't even remember. What?

It was like late in the game and he's just like fighting in the stance with somebody after a touchdown. Yeah, I believe it was the last second Hail Mary. Wasn't it? Yeah, and he was just fighting a cornerback like in the behind the goalposts. Greg,

yeah, Greg Newsom during the Hail Mary, yeah. The Browns cornerback. Full on just like in a brawl by the cheerleaders. Love that. Greg Newsom invaded Russia in the winter. Yeah. Oh my God, yeah.

I'm watching it now. It's even funny as I thought. That's pretty incredible. All right. You have another one here? One of the greatest scenes in this movie, it holds up so well. And every little aspect of it is so fucking good is when Chubbs tries to recruit happy when he's in the batting cage. Like that whole scene is just.

good. But in particular, there's so, I'm guessing some of us have other quotes from that scene too, but like, in particular,

I was just laughing my ass off last night watching this because Chubbs's right arm is so clearly just his hand, like his regular hand, like holding a very long wooden hand. His right arm is like six feet long.

It's so funny when they like zoom out and you can see how long his arm is. Right before he dies in the scene, you see his full arm. It's like at his shin. And I was just thinking, like, it reminded me of how Alvin Camara's two legs weren't the same weight. Also, just, this is like probably a stretch, obviously, but like we, Alvin Camara and his two legs, they now weigh the same, right? They are the same length.

Allegedly. And weight. I feel like we have not mentioned Alvin Camara's name this entire, like, offseason. What is your guys' take on what's going on with Camara? Does he have another big time fantasy season in him? Or are you guys just kind of like, I'm not going to do anything with this? the Saints offense. I don't want to have any part of it.

Even if he's a good value, it's just going to be too hard to predict how they're not going to score any points, blah, blah, blah. Where are we on Alvin Camara? Because I feel like I'm a little, still a little bullish on him. I feel like every year he's kind of an afterthought at this point. But check my math, I think Alvin Camara was a top 10, if not like top seven running back last year in points per game when he was playing.

And I mean, the comp that everyone is giving, including you, D.K., Tyler Shuck, the current Saints starting quarterback, is Derek Carr. Yeah. who's missed to checkdown. He was RB6 and points per game. RB6 and points per game. I think Camero, what he did so well was he scored so many touchdowns.

I think the Saints aren't going to be that team anymore, like that hyper-efficient situation. But I do think in terms of just like volume in passing down work, like I kind of think that there's a chance that it remains pretty similar to what he's got in the past few years. The touchdown side isn't going to be there. But again, I don't know how many touchdowns he scored last year. He was still putting up RB6 numbers. He's one of the most like boring, unsexy picks, which is so weird because I think Camara, I think he's probably my favorite fantasy player

of the last five years, but very underrated in terms of his just like weekly passing's floor. Yeah. So I think in general you don't want running backs of bad teams. Like in general, you do not want running backs and bad teams. I expect the Saints to be a bad team. D.K., I think, you know, you keep, I don't know if you're half joking or half serious or what, but like you kind of keep mad at essentially fine average.

I think if the Saints are average, like you probably do want Camara, but basically I'm like, you know what, every year you have players in terrible teams. And I'm like, oh, someone's going to get yards. I don't want guys who might have the worst team in the NFL. I'd rather the Saints be average and I didn't know about it than thinking the Saints might suck and taking Camara. But however, Camara is the exception of the rule. If you're going to have a player on a bad team, you need a guy like Camara who's going to get all the go line work and get all these catches. And, you know, I mean, you can usually sit your watch to him having like 74 catches in the season or whatever.

So if you're obviously, you need half PPR or full PPR where Camer is more valuable. So like that's the exception is someone who's going to dominate all the important. high value touches. I think the reason I don't like Camara is for basically it's two reasons. Super famous players like that who've been around, you don't get discounts on them. It's a funny dynamic. I think like there's like,

what a quote best ball. Oh, no, I don't think so because I think there's, there's a Joe Mixin and then there's like an Alvin Camara. And I think the difference is Alvin Camara was a first round. Alvin Camara was what you just said, Craig, if you're in a league

Alvin Camara came in in 2017 and was an incredible, was a league winner in 2017. So that is, coming up on this is his ninth season or whatever, that's eight years. So if you're in a fantasy football league, half the league has had Alvin Camara

and has fond memories of him. And I know that's a dumb thing to say, but the truth is he doesn't fall on the draft. People don't feel the way about fucking Joe Mix-in or even James Connor necessarily. But like Camara, people, so in like a league with your friends or whatever, Camara doesn't fall far enough

where I'm willing to take on these two risks. The Saints are legitimately possibly the worst team in the NFL or the other thing I don't like. Unless the Saints playoff contention, I don't know if Camara has incentive to be playing in December. If he's old enough

where he's going to accrue injuries or whatever, but like I, you know, I don't know if Camara's necessarily going to be fighting through injuries or whatever to be playing at week, 15, 16, 17. If he's banged up, they're going to shut him down. Yeah, that's a good point. Like, and that scares me. So the combo of that, I'm like, I'm happy to take Camara if he falls around,

but I don't think guys like him do fall. I think they get pushed up, actually. I don't know. I would push back a little bit about his name brand value. I think he's kind of established himself as like an older guy who gets banged up. The team sucks. Like I don't know if he still carries that reputation, but I could do. He's the right now in ADP, according to fantasy pros.

He's the RB 15 after like we said finishing as the RB6 last year. And I think that's, yeah, it's just. But again, he was miserable. I don't like the bad vibes matter. Do you remember how upset he was during the season? It's because he had 34 catches in three weeks. And he was like, this offense is broken. It can't go through me.

So I just look at that. And like, that's bad that he was crushing in fantasy through like fake receiving that even he was like, this is not a real offense. I don't like that he's upset. Like, you know what I mean? I think that the bad vibes permeate Chris Olive. So I just, oh, I don't know. I don't want to bet on the saints. Yeah, that's fair.

Got that bastard's eye, though. Got that bastard. He carries it around with him. all times. Are we gonna, are we gonna take the low hanging fruit here? Are you talking about Nashi Harris? Yeah.

Are we above? You got one eye. You got one up. That's Justin Herbert. You got one eye. You got one eye. Well, do you see Justin Urban as the red contact lenses? Yeah.

What? It's like the laser meme with the fucking seagull. He's Justinerba's red contacts. Like a psychic. Why? They are, they're like, they're like, uh, not prescription.

They're like tinted, like sunglasses. Wow. Weird. I actually think the new money ball is just. Are they like those glasses that change when you go inside or outside? Bifogals. Is that what those are cars?

No. The ones that like transition lenses. Yeah. Transition lenses. I was, I'm half joking, but I think Vision's the new money ball. Vision's like 30% of your brain and teams like I think they like they didn't really get their

players eyes checked until very recently. Wild thing, Vaughn. James Winston, the number one pick in the NFL. got Lasick four years into his career. Didn't really help. But no.

The fact that even was close is incredible. Yeah, there's just one problem. Not any good. All you ever talk is about going pro in hockey, but there's just one problem. You're not any good. Are you guys buying any... Yeah, we all had the Nachie Harris-I thing.

Are you guys... Because he's on the pop list, correct? Yeah. Yes. Yes. You can't pass the physical. Right. but we don't we don't still really know what happened

because superficial could mean a lot of things it's obviously still early but like once again my like lizard training camp late July brain is like maybe Omerian Hampton will be more of a right yeah I think I agree I think it matters that he's not getting reps because it's even if he's a veteran like what would it really not so much Noggi's not necessarily going to get the reps and that affects him because he's had so many it's more Omerian Hampton is going to get all these first team reps and that also means

Kimani Vidal who I thought was I mean maybe a cut candidate as someone who could be receiving work early in the season if Naji's not able to play. But I think basically to me, I think it accelerates the fact that Omeran Hampton could just be an incredible league winning player because basically they're like, yeah, we were going to bring Omering. And again, they didn't even want to draft Amerenhampton. The charges tried to trade back with the Eagles.

And pro football talk reported that the Eagles didn't call the trade right to the NFL office. So the charges were like two minutes left. They're like, oh my God, the trade didn't go through. And the charges had to take Omerian Hampton, but they didn't want it. And so now they're like, they're like, oh, we'll bring them along. we'll have Najee Harris. Now, Aji has this eye thing.

I'm like, okay, well, maybe Hampton just ends up being the bell cow from week one, and it's imperfect, but damn, he's good. And so maybe he should be a top 20 player. I know. I'm worried because I was originally, I was in the complete opposite spot about, like, Omerian Hampton's overvalued. Like, he's such a good player, but Najee Harris is going to be a thorn in his side. He'll be the starter for the first half of the season.

And now I'm like, ooh, I don't know. Maybe Omerian Hampton suddenly become undervalued. Yeah. Hampton shows up for Najee. He's just like, hey, got that guy who sold you the fireworks. That was, by the way, that window that Chubbs falls out of, I've never seen a lower window. Yeah, it's such. It's like at his shins.

It's like very conspicuously wide open. The whole scene is so funny how they set it up. He's got like the fucking head in like a weird little box like in the middle of his living room. Also like Carl Weathers feel he's like genuinely so excited when he's. He's the boxing. Oh, this is going to be nice. I know. I actually got sad.

I was like, oh, my God. I forgot how nice that was until then. Joe's Peterson's the best, man. Speaking of people hitting windows, the other one I had the, when they're driving up to the nursing home and Happy Gilmer's driving his grandma, he's like, hey, grandma, this is the best. It's so nice. It's like a country club, the grass. You're going to have the best time here.

And then one hits like, Mr. Mr. Mr. Get me. How to eat this. Leave us alone. Like it's a bear. It's a bear.

It's a bear. It's a bear. I don't like to eat this I thought that was Shabar Stewart showing up the training camp and the Bengals are like well you're going to have the best time here

it's going to be awesome and then Trey Hendricks and Hopside he's like get me out of here Mista the Mista Mista Mista lady I had that one for Malik neighbors on the Giants

Get me out of here Um Sheel had a great tweet today that was Giants offensive ranks from last year. DVOA 28th, EPA per drive 29th, success rate 30th. They are returning 10 of 11 starters. The only change is quarterback and it's either Russell Wilson, James Winston, or Jackson Dart, who, as Hyphids already mentioned, threw a pick on his first play. Do you think in the script, Mista, Mista, was written and that she was the Mista Mista L lady? Or she just did that or that was something they thought of

that day. also just like in terms of physical comedy him like trying to fix the air conditioner unit in the window and just like tapping it on the side and then it going like flying out the window is just so good you know that uh mistamista lady also she's like clearly not dead it's like on her stomach she's moving she's moving and awake

she's thinking I got that I did think of Ben Johnson addressing the bears on day one just after reading all of the quotes from like DJ Moore and Roma Dunesay about like how different the vibes are. And he's like, yeah, like he's holding people accountable. Like it was pretty lazy last year. I was thinking of Ben still like getting off the phone about the quilts he's going to sell.

And he's like, turn up your volumes, everybody. Great news. We're extending arts and crafts time by four hours. My fingers hurt. My fingers hurt. It's DJ Moore. My fingers hurt. Oh, you just booked landscaping.

He's like, DJ Moore, you just book special teams. Anybody else's fingers are? Special teams. I didn't think so. You just pulled special teams duty. Anybody else's fingers? Why do you make me do that? Why do you make me get mad at you in front of me?

I was like that. Hey, Mr. Gilmore. Wow, what a tremendous looking trophy. That's what he's got in front of the media. Dude, that guy. That guy's the best. Mr. Larson. Mr. Larson.

Yeah, yeah, you can hardly notice it. Terrific. The nail comes out. next week. Dude, there were so many lines from the movie that, like every time you watch it, new lines stick out to you, like new jokes. I don't know why,

but Larson is so good. And when shooters like, you think you, or Larson's like, you think you can hit the green from here, shooter? He goes, that's not possible, sir.

Just Larson going, I beg to differ. It's so good. So antagonistic. Having Gilmore accomplished that not an hour ago. Dude, yeah, he talks like some Shakespearean,

Victorian English child. That's two thus far, shooter. Oh, you can count. He's a gilded age. So good. But the shooter's like, oh, congrats. You can count. And he's like, yeah, you can count on me seeing you in the parking lot.

Just like another fantastic character. Craig, speaking about it with like the lines that stick out, he was like, when he's beating up shooter at the very end, he's like, stay still. Stop moving. And the shooter's like, ah, stay still. A line I don't think I ever really noticed until now and I definitely didn't even think about or didn't register to me when I was like a teenager

was during Happy's like hot streak and he's bringing all the new types of people, new fans to golf. Vern Lundquist in one of the intros to a tournament goes quite a large and economically diverse crowd here. I thought that was like, the germination of the Dodgeball announcers was like, what if they talked like that the entire time?

I thought that was so funny. The best part is an economically diverse crowd. It's at the meekalob inter-invitational, Craig. Mickelope. You said it earlier, but they go back to your shanties is like unbelievable. Damn, you. Him hitting the beach ball and it's stuck to his putter. That's such good.

Like, such good physical comedy. The way he like tries to kick it and then he like comes down on it. Another. Shooter like make, I think in a lot in a lot of the scenes, they actually had shooter like putting. And you can tell like they weren't like CGI or anything like. He's like sinking like big ass, like long putts. Yeah.

And there's one, like, there's a couple, like, shooters celebrations, this as this, I'm not, I don't have any, like, connection to this, but like, shooters celebrations are all timers. Like, there's one where he, like, tosses the putter and then just holds his hands up and, like, goes in a circle. He's, like, does the shooting thing. When he's unraveling and his hair is kind of getting messy and they throw the beach ball at him, that's all one take where he, like, hits the beach ball, and settles himself, hits the putt. He's like, yeah.

It's so good. It's so good. You can tell him, I feel like he really made it in the tape. But we rewatch it. He was going to, if he missed it, he was going to be mad, but he made it and he was surprised. He was like, uh-huh. Wait, that was like the seventh take in a row or like the 20th take in a row, so he probably was fucking happy. Craig, that's such a good call.

He hits the punt. He's like, he got it. Chocle that, baby. The other one that aged... The other one that aged perfectly is happy Gilmore fighting Bob Barker. Oh my God.

The Bob Barker fight... Unbelievable. I think you bad enough. Barker was just like in that shit. You know what I thought the best? Obviously, it's like a famous scene and he fights Bob Barker, but you know what I thought?

The one that... Again, the details you notice is after Bob Barker is like, now I'm done, bitch and kicks him in the face. Now you've had it. It's like shadow boxing. And ball you're shadow boxing on the way out.

He's like, hmm. Like, he's like fucking... Shadowboxes. I feel like Bob Barker has he's been that wasn't his first rodeo like he's fought he's been in fights yeah

he's been in some fights I also that one actually the one thing that reminded me was I hope that's what's going to happen when Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll see each other again after the first game they play it's gonna be like just Pete Carroll

fucking fighting Jim Harbaugh you know Bob Barker has said that that is the number one thing he gets stopped for on the street or before he passed away he was like the number one thing people said to me is the price is wrong

bitch I also forgot that Happy he comes up He's like oh you're the guy from Let's make a deal He's like Price is right He's like oh yeah yeah It happens

What's the place it happens Oh my God Oh my God It's so good That fight scene That whole fight scene is so good He like throws Happy on his back He like does this move

Or he just like When Happy gets out of water And he just like Throws him on his back It's like suplexism Okay, you guys have other quotes? Large and ecologically. I just have, I just want to like list quotes that aren't even related to the NFL.

The other one that always jumps out to me every time I watch it. I always forget about it is when when Happy's like going on his like expletive tirade and it cuts to Doug in Virginia in the office. Just swearing in the background. And he's going on in the background. I love the brief pause and you just hear him go, peace of monkey shit. I, Craig, I thought about it for a minute and then I figured that we probably wouldn't be able to do it on the show but I was going to translate his entire tirade.

Please. This is Brian. Yeah, we'll make an NFL. Brian Callahan talking on the mic to Will Levis when he takes for his behind his back interceptions. It's like 45 seconds long and there's one where he's like, you fucking play it like it lies. Fuck you.

And he like walks away. He's like fighting some random guy. I love what? the first guy he beats up like earlier on in the movie when the guy's like, that's about time. And he goes, yeah, it is about a time. I mean, I wanted to make it. I just couldn't do it.

The hockey fight pulls his shirt over his head. Wait, did you translate the tie rate? No, I didn't do it. I figured it was a little too, a little too much, even by my standards, to go on a 45 second. He's like, because I really thought about it,

but there's a section there where it's just bleeps for a solid, like, 25 seconds. seconds. It is. Beep, beep, beep, beep,

like, you get, like, there's no, like, there's no context at all. Sock my white ass ball.

And that he's just, like, goes off for, I don't even know how long it's so good. I also, I love when Virginia sticks it to happy.

I love, like, they're a good pair because she kind of, like, I love when she, when he's like, I'm a hockey player.

And she's like, oh, really? What team do you play for? And he goes, easy. So fragile. Easy. What team do you play for?

Oh really? What team do you play for? Easy. Also, of course, the best. I think honestly, the one we quoted the most this year. Well, first, it's so funny when he's like, what's the winner get? $250,000. What does the loser get?

$2,500? He's like, oh, so I get paid no matter what. And then when he gets the shooter, has the big check. He's like, I want my check down. They're like, I don't have any checks for you, man. He's like, well, give me one of them big ones. Give me one of them big ones.

Do they still do that? Do they still do that? No, because I just think people don't use checks. Now they have Venmo. Yeah, it's like, imagine, you can't have a big Venmo. Even symbolically, I think they should. You know what I mean? Like, I think it'd be cool if after the Super Bowl,

because teams get a bonus, right? It'd be cool if, like, the owner was standing on the podium with a giant check. That's smart. Because, you know what? Eventually, I think it would, I bet, like, Kai's generation would be like, yeah, you get the big check. They wouldn't know that was like a real thing. Like, you had small checks.

They actually would have no idea. Take it to the big. There was one section that just, I kind of had an epiphany re-watching the movie last night where, you know, when he gets sponsored by Subway, and then they, like, cut to, like, him making his commercial and he's, like, cold-cut combo.

I, eat three every day. And then there's, like, a guy in the background. I swear to God, like, in high school, my buddy and I used to always reenact this scene where he would be like, hey, happy, could I have one of those? And then it'd be, like, coming right up. And he, like, is this is the most quoted movie of our generation.

Oh, my God. I really do. Like, it's actually crazy, the percentage of lines that when you want, I'm like, oh my God, my friends say that all the time. I think every scene has three lines. I still remember and recite to this day. Can I have one of us? Even just things you don't know are coming or just remember coming,

but he's just like the, uh-oh, happy learned a putt. And I'm like, I think I've said that 5,000 times in my life. 100%. But hold on. I'm not quite done with that. The epiphany I had is in a way, art imitates life here or whatever. I actually turned into that guy,

kind of at the Super Bowl a couple of years ago. when Russell Wilson was sponsored by Subway. And like I was in the Kevin Clark. It was a slow news day and he was interviewing Russell Wilson. And I like came up and I was like essentially, hey Russell, could I have one of those? And then he like signed my sandwich. Coming right up. We got to post that picture on Instagram one.

Yeah, Russ signed it sandwich for DK. Oh, man. Did anyone eat it? No, I had, I just left it in my hotel. How did they not? Subway and Adam Sandler should have. have done a, or they should have done a collab and made a commercial.

I have a feeling it's coming. I'm sure. I mean, the movie comes out in two days. I feel like it's, they should hurry up. Go to any golf course right now. They're going to have the happy Gilmore balls. Like, it's everywhere. I'm saying they should do a subway commercial of him recreating that as a real ad for subway.

I have a feeling it's been filmed. The other one I wanted to chat, the random moment that got me was just the happy gets hit by a car and he's lying on the fairway and he can't move it. A doctor's there. And he's like, ah, you know, you're all right. But I would just keep off your. stay off your feet for a few days and happen. It's like, I gotta finish up.

And I don't know what's got to play. The doctor's like, fine, what would I know? I'm just a doctor. And he's British for some reason. There's also, yeah, there's also like a random British guy like announcing the players. Yeah, the starter guy is always like, happy give, mole.

Where's that guy from? That guy. We're in like Pennsylvania. Like, who is that guy? The only other one for me was just when he wins the Waterbury open and doesn't give a shit. I was like, that's Scotty Sheffler. Right.

Like Scottie Sheplech is out here, like winning, you know, just winning every golf tournament of the year. And Scottie Shepard's just like, you know, winning, last like three seconds. I don't even know why we do this. Golf is meaningless. I can't, I find no meaning in this work. He's like, you should play in the Waterbury Open.

He's like, all right. Yeah, I'll see you there. What an iconic film. The music in the movie is so good. The music is great. That's the other thing I was going to mention. It's like makes the movie. The opening music, I can,

I can perfectly hear every time I think about it. All the transitions when they start a new golf tournament, and it's like that Gary glitter. It's so good. Not to just like linger on all the great things that Shooter McGavin says. One of the all-time great, like, movie villains. The line that I always say is, he's like, no, I had to hit it off a Frankenstein's fat foot. He's like making, making, make it get more played as it lies or whatever.

Which is so ridiculous where David Miskavage comes over. He's like, Shooter's right. You got to play it like it lies. Like he would fucking let that. When the entire like camera tower falls on the green, they're like, you got to play it. He's right. Shooter's got a point here. He did have to hit it off Frankenstein's fat foot.

Your ball struck my foot. The scene where he's in Subway and he's just talking to Virginia and randomly just goes, God, Kevin, I hate that pup bark. I hate that pup bark. I hate the clown. I hate that pop park. Dude, I think Sandler has, like, honestly, like, really good swing mechanics. Like, that swing is impressive.

Like, he's hitting the ball. Yeah, Craig, you pointed out that a lot of great comedic actors are athletic, and I can't get that out of my brain now because you're right. Like, look, you can tell he plays basketball or whatever just because it isn't distracting. Because, like, the swing is, like, essential to the movie. It's not like a thing you can cut around. You know what I mean? Like, it, you, it's the furthest end of believability.

And I'm sure he did it. 800 times on set and they only use the ones that worked. But like when he connects and you just see the ball go out of frame, like none of that's CGI. Like he's hitting those balls, I think. The sound is CGI. The what? The sound it makes when he hits the ball.

I don't think it is. It's like a jet engine in the background. Can I also, we got another deal on waiter. Zamboanie guy singing endless love? Yeah. Like what a choice by the director. That's like he's in the foreground. Yeah.

It's so good. Lipsinking. It's just beautiful. It's so. good. We're happy Gilmar, anything. Friends listen to

Endless Love in the Dark. Talk about your all-time backfires. Also, I like how she's like, you used to play ice hockey. He can't even skate. Shut up.

Shut up. I was thinking about Jerry, Judy, Don Tavian Wicks, and Xavier Legat during that scene. Oh, you're receiver?

You can catch. Your receiver? You used to play receiver? Easy. Easy. Oh, yeah, what team do you play for? I will say, I want from one of you, either a player who is going to learn to putt this year or the everyone's coming around. Well, I'm not.

There's someone you're out on or someone you think is going to put it in. I'm starting to come around a little myself. In a world where Lamar Jackson's unbeatable versus the Blitz or Josh Allen is now the best decision maker in the NFL, someone who's going to learn to, a lot if Anthony Richardson is just good, like a player that will learn to put or someone that you're just like, I'm not coming around. Kick him off the tour. Oh, that's a really good question. Yeah. I don't know why, but in the back of my head, I don't even really believe this,

but in the back of my head, I'm like, I don't know if Romadun's is any good. Like, every one of the bears, it's so hard to, like, know because last year was such a disaster. But there are a lot of underlying metrics that suggest he was, like, fucking bad. But you're just ignoring it.

And I don't know. Artemis just, like, they just immediately came in and drafted a, wide receiver in a tight end. DJ Moore's there. I'm like, what if? He's just like not that good. And Craig, you made the point last year that so Roma Dunesie at the combine made

such a point of he couldn't do the three cone drill in the, I think that was the amount of time he wanted. So he stayed like two hours late until he got the time. And Craig, when in the middle of the season, when a dunzae was bad, was like, you know, we never at any point considered that it was really concerning. He couldn't get the time he wanted with hours of extra. We thought that was a green flag. Yeah, we were like, oh, cool.

Look at it. working hard. I'm like, he tried so hard on this. He can't get it. It's like happy showing up to hockey tryouts every year. Yeah. Prima Duneses. He's just taking baseball to the chest. Like three or just in four days? Dekai Adunzee, in or out?

I'm in on Adunzee. Is there a player that everyone else is coming around? Everybody's coming around. Well, I'm not. Doug. Who's that player's ruining golf? I saw two fat naked bikers having sex on 18. How am I supposed to chip? That kind of thing going on.

Yeah, one of his fans, mood me the other day. On one cheek, it said HA and sure enough P-P-Y on the other... I think it's the best movie ever made. Perfect. The best movie ever

made. It is really, really good. Hyvich, do you have one? Who's your... Learned how to put? Dunezai isn't one I would have said, but you're right that when I go to... Like, when I have to click on them, I just don't. Like, the place you have to click on them, I don't.

So by that standard, I man I think pickings and fields are good candidates where everybody's just kind of like they're going to be great

yeah you know Fields up I'm the guy like coming around on fields somebody if he learns if he learns

how to throw uh oh someone learned to throw I think my answer would probably be this is probably stupid but it's Marvin Harrison Jr.

And that's probably dumb but I just we have back to back with Devante Adams. I'm hiring Devonthe Adams than you guys. I can't tell you how much I'd rather have Devante Adams than Marvin Harrison Jr. Oh, you're saying you're not in on him. Everyone's coming around on Marvin Harrison Jr.

Well, I'm not. I'm not. I'm too scarred. Well, I'm not, Doug. Dika, you have a guy like that? I mean, when you said it, I was thinking of Fields. Like, if he could learn out of throw, he would break fantasy football. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, that's a good happy learn to put. That's a good one. Like, what it feels was just

better. And also, also. Anthony Richardson, but yeah. I keep thinking about if Justin, Craig, can you imagine if Justin Fields throws for 320 yards on the Steelers

to week one and the Jets win like 41 to 17? It's one of the most anticipated games that means nothing, really, to like the overall scope of the NFL narratives. But yeah, I don't know. Dissarly disproportionately

important meaning this week when we do. Is it a bigger revenge game for Rogers or Fields? In Fields is mine fields. And in Rogers is more famous. I mean, in Rogers is mine. And his, right? I think that Rogers is the obvious answer. Yeah.

And it is Rogers, I think. But I would argue that the difference is for Fields, like, that was a chance at, like, having a career. Like, he started, like, he went, he started, what, four and two. Or is four and two. Yeah. And then I think Tomlin didn't want to play him, but I think other people did. And for them to go own five down the stretch, I think, and then they're just, they lowballed them.

So. Yeah, but the jets, Aaron Glenn flying Rogers to New York to look him in the eye and breakup. with them. Hey, Aaron, what happened to that? That's a good call, Craig. Holy shit. Yeah. Oh, he died in car crash. Okay. What a movie. Happy Gilmore. I'm terrified for the sequel. I know. It looks like it's one of those things where I feel like the movie was made so they could just make a trailer for it.

It's like a nostalgia. It's a nostalgia tour. It's a billboard. Doing this thing too, I just couldn't believe how many quotes that you could use. Like, like somebody's closer. So good. All right. If you have other great ones for Happy Gilmore Awards that you didn't get to, email us quotes from Happy Gilmore. You know what the pathetic thing is? You've been playing golf your whole life. Oh, that one's so good. That's like a real dig.

Yeah. Yeah, that is. I hate that clown. He's laughing it up. He's having a good time. Also, is it good coaching to take your challenged, your putting challenged player to a mini golf course? Do you think that's good or bad coaching?

Great coaching. That's the box. Out of the box thinking. Back to basics montage. It's great. Back to, is mini golf back to basics for putting? That course was hard.

I wouldn't call that the basics of putting. The part where, the part where he tries, he needs to go over like a drawbridge and it just goes, like clinks back and forth. I forgot the clown spits the ball back at him. Yeah. You're going to die, cloud.

I don't see you laughing now. So good. Also, I don't even know how you make that put on that hole. Like when the building collapses, like the road breaks. He was way too confident he could make the butt. There's no clear path. He just got out for five seconds. And it was just like, yeah, I'll just do it now.

Rube Goldberg machine this thing. Could have just chipped it through the thing, you know. I know. You guys are really worried about that? Yeah. They did just accept the rule thing really quickly. I was like, yeah, I don't know. I beg to differ.

That's not possible, sir. I beg to differ. I love how Shooter talks in the third person when he's like trying to fight Happy Gilmore in the bar that one time. Oh, I love this. It's shooters time. This is a Shooter's tour. And then he just breaks the bottle.

He's like, let's face it. I'm out of the golf course. I met it on a golf course. Well, what's going on here? I was just trying to find the other half of this bottle. There's some over there. Email us at Ringer Fantasy Football. Gmail.com.

if there's another quote that you think goes to the player or something that we should have done that we didn't do. I might work on translating his swearing tirade. Oh my God. And next week, we'll talk about how to go more to. Yeah, we'll talk about having to get more to at some point. Is it on Netflix, Craig? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Sick. The, I was going to say. So follow us on YouTube. Subscribe to us please on YouTube. It's Ringar Fantasy Football. And if you're listening to another platform, just go to YouTube and hit subscribe and then go back to where you're doing it. Because please. Also, our rankings, if you want our rankings, they're at in the episode description, there's a link. So our rankings are there.

And then you have false Instagram, Ringer Fantasy Football on Instagram and TikTok. Okay, a couple emails. Another thing while we're doing all these plugs. We're bringing the Ring of Fantasy Football League back. We've mentioned this a couple times, but in case you haven't heard, we bring the Ring of Fantasy Football League back. So we're going to have a bunch of people from the Ring are doing it.

We're going to have a live draft at the end of this month. We're going to, but the most important part of point, most important point of all, I don't know, I think I still got it wrong. Important part of all is Bill Simmons and all these people, someone's going to do a punishment. Whoever comes in last, everyone's envisioning Bill doing it.

Watch it be one of us. Like, we're going to end up coming last. But we're trying to figure out and calibrate the correct punishment for this league, something preferably humiliating, but also something people who have children

would actually do, which, again, I can tell all the emails you send, which one of you are like 23 and just look, you have to drink 30 beers in a day. Right. The 30-rack challenge, which I've done. It's a tough day. It's fun for the first half,

and then it gets pretty grim. We've asked people to email in Ring your Fantasy Football at Gmail.com potential punishment ideas for the league. We're going to have a big mailbag and we're going to go through all them. But I want to read another good one. We've received hundreds so far,

but we're reading all. Thank you so much to everyone. All of them. Wow. I want to. Oh, I thought you meant on the show. No. No.

The best one. Got it. So many. But I want to read one from Aaron. Aaron. A bone. This one I think is another good example of creative but doable.

Okay. Because the one we like, I think it was Michael. I forget who submitted it. The loser drinking two cold cans of soup or eating two? Do you eat soup or drinking? Whatever you want.

Whatever you call consuming soup? That is kind of in the right realm of what we're thinking. It's in the ballpark. So if you're listening to the show and your league is a punishment, you're like 35 or 40 and everyone's married and as kids and you guys have a fun punishment. This is what we're talking about here. Yeah. So Aaron writes,

for breakfast, I have an egg over easy with a little Franks hot sauce and an ice latte. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Love it. That's what I do. One egg? Yeah, he says an egg, yeah.

You don't see that too often, one egg. No, it was two eggs. I'll do one egg and just put it on a piece of toast, Craig. Yeah. Well, that's true with toast, but on its own? On its own, yeah, that's one egg solo is a little lonely. That's a light breakfast. Also, one egg over easy with no toast is just, that's a lot of yolk that's running out.

Nothing's soaking up. Yeah. Get it. So Aaron writes in our league, which we started 13 years ago as a group of friends, is now full of married couples who all have children and responsibilities, which has made punishment or any punishment that requires more effort than like an embarrassing license plate cover, impossible to enforce.

So our new punishment checks all these boxes of embarrassment, short time commitment, massive enjoyment, incentive to compete late in season, et cetera. And he says, our new one is humiliating,

quick, and yeah, creates incentive. Our gym offers several typical workout classes, yoga, body pump, lotis, et cetera. I'm already skeptical, but okay. However,

my gym also has a twerking booty camp. Oh, wow. You think Bill Simmons is going to do a twerking booty camp? The loser of the league must participate in a twerking booty class in the outfit chosen by the league champion. It has to be within the socially acceptable boundaries of the gym. So it has to be something you can wear at the gym and it's fine. But we get to have photographic evidence of you doing this at the thing. And we can do photos, maybe no videos.

I don't know. We'll figure it out, but humiliating quick. But I do, that's funny because it's like, it's a genuine workout class. You have to pay to go and I looked up at Los Angeles. There's a lot of these. It's not like stripper club. It's gyms that have twerking booty camps. Boot camps, but it's booty camp.

Hilarious, but this will never, ever, ever happen. Come on. There is no way Sean Fennacy or Chris Ryan are going to a booty camp in L.A. It's not videotaping it. It's like an hour. They're definitely not videotaping it. Voting it, putting it out on social. Are you out of your mind?

There's no way. There's no. way. Hilarious, though. Like, I hope people use that for their leagues with 22-year-olds because that's awesome. Yeah, I like that. I'm crushed. Come on.

Are you out of your mind? You thought that was in play? Come on. A man can dream. I love it. Very creative. And it's a good workout. All right.

Well, there are more context for what's going to work here. So email so for your fancy football, gmail.com. Other ideas, I guess that's not good enough. No twerkoffs, fine. Maybe Bill will do this work off. You don't know. Warning. A conversation you're about to hear might be inappropriate for children's ears.

You have been warned. Do we need to make this like two seconds longer so they get to pause the thing if they're driving? That's fine. They've been warned. Okay. We asked other people for wrong websites because we were talking about how Cowboys.com did not go to the Dallas Cowboys website for a long time. And so we asked for wrong websites. Three quarters of the emails were about two websites.

First one's from Pat, who sums it up well. P-Bow. In my town, there were two main sports goods stores, sports authority and Dick's sporting goods. Without thinking about it, I went to dix.com. Okay. Sure. You can imagine. What's there?

You can imagine. Who among us? hoops. So a lot of people have that problem. This one I did not know about, but we got Mark, Kirk, Alex, Eric, Brian, like so many people emailed us this.

I'm going to read Mark's email because I think it sums that up. Marky. Mark writes when I was in fourth or fifth grade, so, you know, like late 90s, we were learning a little bit about the government. And so our teacher took us

to the White House's official website, which is whitehouse. dot gov. But this is the early internet era. We don't really know to use the internet. we were also 10 years old. So we all thought we should go to whitehouse.com.

Uh-oh. Well, Whitehouse.com at that time was a Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton-themed porn website. Whoa. And it clearly this happened to a lot because everyone has this story. Kirk, Alex, Eric, Brian. I can't even list all the names. Is it still there? They're all of the same story, which is they were learning about like basic civics,

like how the government works in fifth, fourth or fifth grade. They did learn how the Whitehouse.com. And it was like, you know, you can imagine. Turns out they got one of the more accurate history lessons they've ever had. Yeah, it's the history they don't want to teach you. Yeah, right. That's what's really going on. So, uh, that's great.

D.K.I. I feel like Lewinsky is the thing that, um, I feel like, I don't even know Kai knows who Monica Lewinsky is, to be honest. Right, right. Do you remember that happening? No, honestly, I feel like I learned about it from whose line is it anyway. I don't have any memory Was it were we alive? When did it happen?

We were like 93. No one was keeping us on the loop of that one. DK, do you remember that? Yes, but not like a lie. I just remember it being a thing that people were talking about at the time. It happened in 1995. Okay, I was one years old.

Or then it was like it was like it over a period of time, 95 to 98 is like when it kind of all went down. Frazing. Yeah. On that note. Oh, wait, the last, sorry, the last one, I have to read an email from Nick. Nicky.

The many stories like this. Nicholas. On this note, Nick had an idea because the problem is whitehouse.gov, whitehouse.com. So Nick suggested that to fix this because cowboys.com goes to something with dix.com, the domain name for porn websites should not be dot com. It should be dot com.

That's really good. That's honestly high level stuff. I got no notes. I always look the best idea I've ever. Yeah. Surprised it's not. Yeah, I'm surprised it's not, too. Isn't there like a whatever, whatever you call that?

Dot triple X? I don't know what's said you're going to. I don't know. I thought that there was, there was sites. That's a movie with Vin Diesel as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Which is, you know, also made me fall in love.

I'm Googling triple X websites. That doesn't make sense. Although, do you really need to say pornhub.com? People get the gist. You know, yeah. Dix.com is for your sported goods. And, you know, the other one is for something else. Do you ever still get pranks from your friends where they like,

it's like a dummy link to like a newspaper article? Oh, of course. Yeah. And it's like, yeah. There was a specific one that went around when I was growing up. And I'm not even going to say it because, yeah. But that was one that people would say. Lemon party, remember that one?

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Craig did it for me. There's a lot of that shit out there. being 16 years old is just a crazy time yeah I can't believe they gave us the internet that ain't oh my god oh god I've seen some big so I'll never unsee you can't unsee something

I can't unsee something I can see that becoming like a TikTok trend or something which is people telling their parents stuff that they looked at when they were 13 that they were like what? Yeah if my mother knew the things I saw how much I drank you know it's just like

Yeah. That wouldn't be a problem. I think that, you know, meat spin would be tough. I think they'd be upset about that. Would be a problem. Meat spin. I forgot about that. God.

But there were a lot of like, how many drinks did you have last night? I was like, four beers. She's like, oh, slow down. And I was like, I had 18. So I know I'm old. That's how I know I'm 30 because the amount of alcohol that I used to have to get to feel buzzed is now the maximum I can consume. What's your new sweet spot?

Mine's four. If I haven't eaten, four drinks is your sweet spot? If I don't want to be hung over the next day, like if I'm just going out with friends, I want to have a nice night and I'm keeping it mellow. Four drinks is like I start to feel a light buzz. I can still go home,

wake up the next day. Craig. I'm at the point where I can feel a light buzz after one drink. Yeah, one beer makes me. You get buzzed off one beer? Well, I don't really drink beer that much. I drink like a whiskey. There's no way you're buzzed off a Coors Light.

That's insane. Well, probably not a Coors Light. You're right. I did try. I did try some, what are those, like, new drinks that are not beer and not hard Aides? Yeah, like a hard seltzer. What are they called, though? Hard seltzer.

I mean, there's like 30 brands, but you're probably thinking of White Claw or something. White Claw's, High Noons, truly, I think, are the leaders. Anyway. High noon is not a selter, but yeah. I had a few of those the other day. And to your point, Craig, I wasn't really feeling them. Like, I couldn't feel, I didn't feel buzzed. No, I'm a light beer drinking.

Now you're making me feel like an alcoholic. I was like, I need four drinks to feel somebody. That was my first impression, yeah. Well, you know, strong liver. Yeah, strong. Not for long, but yeah. Thank you, D.K., thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kyle.

Thank you, Carlos. Thank you. Austin. Thank you. Everyone involved in the making of Happy Gilmore. Christopher McDonald. Christopher McDonald. The goat.

Yeah. Man. He was good. Thank you. Everyone emailed us. or rankings are in the episode description. Please, thank you, especially to everyone who subscribe to the YouTube channel.

Thank you to following on Instagram and TikTok, Ringer Fantasy. And, yeah, think it all the people emailed in about the porn they saw when they were, at whitehouse.com, that's crazy. If anyone knows how that guy did that, well, I guess I know how he did that. But, yeah.

Thank you, Lord. Lord. Thank you, Leonard Skinnerd. That is, that's the first song of the movie. Tuesday's gone. Oh, I didn't know. that was Leonard Skinnerd. The bear,

neer, that. Yeah, yeah. I'm shocked. Let me double check. I'm shocked that one, Dika didn't do

cold play this week, which I thought was a layup. And also, Black Sabbath. Cold play. Oh, yeah, Black Sabbath, that would have been a good one.

Yeah. I saw some video online. It was a bunch of kids doing crazy train on Xylophones. It was fucking badass. Oh, really? Yeah. There was like,

you should look that up. I can't believe kids know what Xylophones are and have to spend. the time to learn how to use it. Good for them. It was a class. Didn't we get Calvin a xylophone?

You did get Calvin a xylophone. He likes to play that thing. You guys also got him. I don't know if I mentioned this. We had two boxes of the, whatever they're called, the magnet tiles. Did you mean to buy two separate ones? Well, one was dinosaurs, right? No, they were two of the exact same thing.

What? You have two kids, right? Wait, I send you two in the same box. Wait, the ones he got were the, I got him the magnet, the dinosaur themed magnet tiles. Right. You've got, you got magnet tiles like a year ago on his last birthday. And then this birthday, you sent the dinosaur ones. And then several days later, another box of the identical dinosaur magnet tiles came.

No shit. That was definitely for a different kid. That's hilarious. Those are for George. Whoops. I was like, I meant to ask you about that. Oh, definitely for a different kid. But now he has a shitload of.

magnet tiles. Well, I hope he likes the dinosaurs. He does. Damn. Yeah. How about that? Yeah, thank you for that. That was very thoughtful.

I like that Craig right there. You know, when your mom gets a gift and then your dad is like waiting to see what it is, like you're opening it and your dad doesn't know it's in it, but his name's on the card. Like that was like Craig right there. Like, what kids have xylophones? I'm like, we got him a xylophone like a year ago. I'm just going to say thanks to Danny from now on. Like, how old are these kids?

I'm assuming they were like teenagers in high school, no? The xylophone kids. It was like, I don't know. 10? 10 years old, six or seven? They were playing Leonard Skinner or Black Sabbath? Black Sabbath? Crazy train.

It's badass. It's a great song. I hate that the Patriots have a cool song to come out too. I saw a photo of Randy Johnson and Ozzy Osbourne and the tweet was like, would hate to be a winged animal in these two's presents. That was amazing. That was the best comic. Osbournes were so famous in the 2000s.

I had a question for you. This is something that I feel like I'm vaguely aware of, but don't. What was the deal with Black Sabbath records playing backwards? Was this like, you know how like now I feel like it's like, this is what your kids emojis mean. And they're like, it's like the throwing up emoji. It's like that means your kids do meth. And it's like, I feel like the original version of that was apparently like,

you know if they play the record backward? It spits out the devil or something. Like is that what it was? That's always been. Wasn't there a whole thing with the Beatles with like Paul's dead if you played it backwards? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know how records work. Like how do you play a record backwards?

A record, it spins. and it has a little needle that goes on it. But I thought this is an A and a B side. So how do you even play it backwards? You spin it the opposite direction. Oh, manually. Right.

I kind of thought it, yeah, but like I figured it would only spend one way. Can I tell you something? I have a boy that fucking record works. How does it make that sound? No idea. How the fuck does it make that sound? No, you can't tell me by making little fucking grooves and whatever the fucking vinyl's made out of,

that music comes out of it. It doesn't make any sense. I could build. I called bullshit. It doesn't, it's crazy. That's like the, going to be the new Will Chamberlain, like the kids don't believe he scored 100 points. We're like, there's no way this made music.

There's no way. It makes more sense to me that like music comes out of an iPhone than it does out of a vinyl record. Bizarre. Right. D.K., but seriously, what was the deal with that? Did you actually take records and spin him backwards to see if there was like an Easter egg on the-if. How old do you think I am? I didn't have records.

Old enough to play Tecmo Bowl. I don't know. D.K. I didn't grow up on records. Look at him. He's so old. He's so old. He's too old.

Too old. You can't take her half. else. We listened, for what it's worth, we listened to tapes growing up. So I was like all about recording mixed tapes and things like that, which is a whole thing, a whole little culture. That was like burning CDs for people who were born before Y2K. Right.

This is totally unrelated. I forgot and I want to mention it before we end this happy Gilmore talk. The fact that Chubbs is like putting back together, gluing back together his wooden hand the entire movie. it's like so fucking funny he's got like wood glue stop what are you riding a

running a bull you act like a damn fool and kick me off the pro door oh I'm sorry because you're black hell no damn alligator bit my hand off oh my god why would they kick you off the tour

if you lose your hand because he can't golf anymore it's a good point it's not gonna kick off the tour he just wouldn't make it because he's got a six foot long arm now So if Scotty Sheppler lost his arm and was still a scratch golfer, they kick him off the tour? Like, what the fuck are we talking about?

Craig is picking nits. That's a good point. They kicked me off the tour. I think if you can't golf all enough, you get kicked off the tour. No, you don't get kicked off. You just are no longer good enough to qualify. Right. Well, then you're not good enough to kick him off.

Kick them off. Oh, man. Goodbye, everyone.