The Ringer NFL Show - Jets Fire Joe Douglas, Power Ranking Super Bowl Contenders, and the Fantasy Serial Killer

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

The guys react to the Jets firing GM Joe Douglas, and the last few embarrassing days for the Cowboys (0:00). Next, POWER HOUR! They discuss the teams you really don’t want to play in the playoffs, including the Chiefs, Lions, and Bills (0:00). Plus, Fantasy Court and emails (0:00)! Chiefs (20:52) Lions (23:36) Bills (27:43) Ravens (31:08) Eagles (34:53) Steelers (38:52) Chargers (42:01) Vikings (44:48) Packers (47:51) Texans (50:44) Broncos (54:35) Cardinals (58:00) Commanders (62:30)  Falcons (1:01:19) Check out our 2024 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens Producers: Kai Grady and Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's happening? It's Todd McShay and I'm back with a new home and a new show at the Ringer and Spotify. The McShay Show. It's a video and audio podcast coming to you year round with all my NFL draft information, big boards, mock drafts and player movement. Plus, I'll be chatting with some of my best friends in football, including some of your favorite football analysts. During the week, we'll have episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays that will include discussions about my player rankings, who's rising, who's falling, and who your NFL team should. be keeping an eye on. Plus, we'll be reacting each week to the college football playoff polls and giving you previews and picks for each Saturday slate. In addition, I'll have episodes on Saturday nights with my immediate reaction to the full day in college football every week. So if you love the college game, the NFL, the draft, or all of it like me, make sure to like, follow,

subscribe, and get ready for the McShay show on the ringer, Spotify, and wherever you watch or listen to podcasts. Fantasy football show. My name is Danny Hyfitts, and I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlebeck, and today it is power hour where we power rank something every Wednesday or Tuesday night live on the Ringer NFL YouTube. Please hit that subscribe button to Ringer NFL YouTube if you're with us live right here. We are today power ranking Super Bowl contenders. We're just going to go through who we actually think will win the Super Bowl or more accurately who you don't want to play in the playoffs if your favorite team's going to play them. We'll get to that in a moment. But first, we have various dumpster fires. We have to address the Jets of five.

They fired their general manager, Joe Douglas, seven weeks after they fired their head coach, Robert Sala. The Jets are one in five since firing Robert Sala, so surely firing Joe Douglas will do it. DK., do you think Joe Douglas was fired because Aaron Rogers got Joe Douglas fired? Or do you think that Joe Douglas was fired because he was the GM of the Jets for six seasons and the only team with a worse record than the Jets

since Joe Douglas was hired was the Carolina Panthers? Well, when you put it like that, probably a little both. I think it's kind of funny when people are talking about Joe Douglas today and like the whole Aaron Rogers thing and the Woody Johnson dynamic and how he's like lost all his power. I'm like, by the way, he drafted Zach Wilson too, right? Like can we not forget about that? Like six, like two months early, locked on to Zach. So he's had a few misses in the draft as well. He's had a few opportunities to get the quarterback situation right.

And they failed pretty miserably at that. So I mean, yeah, like I understand that he's been having to deal with different dynamics from like the power structure within. But, you know, at this point, I understand that they had to move on. And doing the timing right now where you don't have to wait, you don't have like a, you don't have to worry about him like making moves or doing anything that would affect the team long term like now. Obviously, the trade deadline is over, but he's not going to be, you know, trying to save his job at this point. So now they can get a new guy in, start prepping for the draft and be ready to go by the time. the draft rolls around. Does it help them to fire him right now versus because he was going to be a free agent,

right? His contract was ending. So he's probably going to let him go anyway. What is firing him now do compared to just waiting? Does this get you a head start on finding your next GM? Why can't you just keep them and still still look for your next GM? Do you know what I think the real answer is, Greg? What?

The real answer, I think. And I could be totally wrong on this. Tell us. Owners hire consultants, like agencies to help them hire GMs and coaches, but especially GMs. and they form a steering committee and they pay this third party consultancy to tell them what GM to hire. And then they just take in, I assume, hundreds and hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars. And then they just give them a list of names that you could have Googled.

And then they hire their buddy. And then they hire their friend anyway. And I think that they just hire the consulting search firm earlier. And then they hand Woody Johnson a list. And they're like, thank you. We did four hours of work. here's $800,000, please. Yeah.

And it's always like, it's like, cut costs, make more money. Yeah. It's like the McKinsey, you know the McKinsey memes that it's like, you're in a room with 10 kids and nine chairs. And then it's like, oh, just add a chair. And McKinsey's like, kill one kid. Yeah. Like, that's really what it is.

Is he wants to jump on the firm or he was mad. And again, Woody Johnson, no one in this, I think it's tough because I think Joe Douglas did get handed a couple tough situations. I don't think he wanted Aaron Rogers. I think Bode Johnson wanted Aaron Rogers. And I won't pretend that working for Woody Johnson's fair. He did get six years, though. Yeah, that's like a lot of time, actually.

Yeah, five and a half, whatever. Frankly, like a lot of James don't necessarily get five and a half years. He didn't draft Donald, but he got Donald the next year and, like, got the Darnell experience, got to stay for Wilson, got through that, got Rogers. Like, they did have their shot. I think it's a little weird, but I don't know. I still think that if someone got shived in this situation, it was Robert Sala, who they have not intercepted a pass since Robert Sala was fired.

like they're one in five since, like the worst defense in the NFL, one of the worst since he was fired. They had allowed two touchdowns in the three games before Sala was fired. They have, anyway. But I don't know. I look at Douglas, it's hard to like say he unambiguously deserved more time. But I also look at what I keep thinking about what Belichick said when Sala got fired, which was that's the Jets, ready fire aim.

Yeah. Right. I get it. Like I think this is just like saging the house. Like this, you just need to cleanse the house and completely start. I don't think this is all on Joe Douglas. I mean, to be honest, who else was he going to draft in the Zach Wilson draft? Mack Jones, Justin Fields.

It's not like he had a ton of options that worked out. Trey Lance. And he made a lot of good draft picks. I mean, I don't know. There's a lot of guys in this team that have worked out, Jermaine Johnson or Sos Gardner or Garrett Wilson, I guess, Breeze Hall, I guess. I don't know. I feel like it's a lot of hand-wringing for a team that's finished third, third, third, fourth, fourth,

third in the division. You got to do it. You got to do it, move on, even if you're a lot of. Do it, move on, even if Joe Douglas will get another job somewhere else. Again, in his tenure, they had no winning seasons, no playoff appearances. Yeah, and they were negative point differential every year. Like, they were never even good. They were remote, never remotely good.

No. Under his time. But the flip side is, here's the thing. I think we could talk about the Jets being bad for the whole offseason. We'll talk about this. The part of that I want to, the part of this that fascinates me is what are they going to do with Aaron Rogers? I think this is a move you make if you're getting rid of Aaron. Like, they have two options.

You double down on, basically they can take. I forget the exact money, but they can move on from Rod. There's no guaranteed money left on Rogers' deal. This isn't like Russell Wilson where the Broncos had to take like almost $90 million of dead cap and split it over two years. It's not like that. They have a little, but like they don't owe Rogers money in the future. Like they've paid him.

So they can cut him. Before I keep going with this, D.K., you agree. They're probably moving on from Rogers next year. Or do you see this as starting clean and bringing Rogers back? No, I think it's probably much more likely they move on. And I think we obviously we have to see who they bring in. Like the GM, the head coach, you know, there's just so much baggage with Aaron Rogers. I feel like why would they bring him back?

Like it doesn't make any sense to me. Like especially because Aaron Rogers, you know, from everything we've heard, it's like he's very involved in like the decision making for personnel. He has to have like his buddies in the in the offense in order for it to function. This is not even functioning at all this year. You know, he's got all the drama around him and personality wise. And it's just like, I don't know. This seems like a clean slug.

late type of move, move on from him. I've seen, I think there was already reporting that this probably means they're not coming back. So if they don't bring Rogers back, my intrusive thought, I'm not saying I believe this, but my intrusive thought today with. Zach Wilson. Well, no, my intrusive thought was, I don't know if anyone will sign. I don't know if Aaron Rogers will play football next year. I'm not saying I believe that, but there's a perfect storm brewing.

Because I think that I don't, I don't know if after watching what just happened to the Jets, where they were awful on the field. And again, Rogers has won less games percentage-wise than Sam Darno, Zach Wilson won his jet starter. That's wild. That's the on-field product. And then if you think about just the workplace politics, he got everyone involved fired. So who's going to sign up for him to be the starting quarterback? I don't know.

We could go through the teams. But here's the thing. Is Aaron Rogers going to, like, his ego? He's going to be a backup? He's going to compete for the job? No shot. There's no way in hell. Aaron Rogers is a backup next year.

No way in hell. He's not going to even do the Russell Wilson. where, like, you sign for a million and, like, I'll compete, you know, unwittingly compete with fields. No way, is Roger signing up to compete, mentor, a rookie, and, like, I'll give the job away. I just, I don't know if he'll do that. But here's the thing. If you go through the teams, I am very skeptical anyone's going to give him a starting job. This whole situation reminds me of, like, High Fitz, you were all over this all off seasons.

Like, Bill Belichick does not have a job right now in football. Like, Bill Belichick does not have a coaching job. Like that sentence is just wild to say. But I think the reason is because of it's not that he's not a good coach. It's because of everything around it, the fact that he's going to need like full control. He wants the right situation. It's going to bring in his people. There's just there were no teams that were willing to, for whatever reason, for a multitude of reasons, like give him the keys to the car or whatever.

And I think the same could be said or it's kind of a similar situation with like the Aaron Rodgers thing. It's just like obviously one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time. You know, multiple like how many how many MVP is? have three or four. Four, four time MVP. But there's just so much around him. There's so many just like variables with him that I'm just,

I'm unsure if anyone's going to want to be like, yeah, let's take on all that. Some team probably will, honestly, because quarterback is so important. And they'll be like, I can fix him type of deal.

I don't know where he's going. Tennessee was the one that a lot of people threw out. You think he's going to go to Tennessee? Well, he might not. Here's thing. If you just take, I won't have to go. I mean,

do you want to go through, every team real quick? Or like, I could just... Yeah, let's just go through the seven eligible spots that make some-ish sense. So, I mean, I'll just go through the AFC real quick.

Bills have Josh Allen. They're not doing it. Dolphins sign, too, they're not doing it. The Jets are not bringing them back. The Patriots of Drake May. The Steelers could, in theory, like, because Wilson and Fields

aren't under contract. But, like, no way. They're going to bring Russ back. They're going to bring Russ back. Yeah. Yeah. So the Bengals of Joe Burrow, no way. The Texans with C.J. Stroud,

no way. The Colts with Richardson, no way. the Jags and Lawrence, no way. The Chiefs with Mahomes, no way. The charge of the Herbert, no way. The Broncos of Bownecks. And then you have the Eagles of Jalen Hertz. The commanders have Jaden Daniels.

The Cowboys have DAC. And so the Giants are theory could. But they're not doing it. The Giants are not bringing Rogers. It's very important to the Giants, John Mara family, to be better than the Jets. There's no way they're taking the Jets sloppy seconds. That would be weird, yeah.

Lions with golf aren't. Vikings of J.J. McCarthy. They aren't. The Packers have, I mean, that would be hilarious. Jordan Love. Bears have Caleb Williams. Falcons have Kirk Cousins and Pennix. Buck signed Baker, the Saints.

So then you go through it. Cardinals of Kyler, Rams of Stafford, Seawks of Gino, the Niners of the Sun Purdy. That literally all like all those scenes are unambiguously out. That just leaves the Panthers, the Saints with their like cap, death spiral Ponzi scheme. We're like they would, there's no way.

It would be Rogers, Camero, and all these people. The Panthers, the Saints, the Browns, the Raiders, and the Titans. The Browns with Deshawn Watson and Roger like they're all punchlines. Rogers on the Panthers is a punchline. Rogers on the Browns is a punchline.

You can't do that if you're Rogers. For your own ego, you cannot go to the worst team in the league and compete on the Saints or the Panthers. You can't do that. I don't think the Saints could contract. I don't think the Saints could sign him. He'd have to take a veteran minimum. The Saints are running out of money to sign people.

He should retire. Rogers isn't even having fun out there. And he theoretically has like a decent team around him. He's got to start his punch. I kind of think he might because I really look at it. There's a reason there might be a candidate position waiting for him when the season's over. Yeah. He's going to honestly, he'll probably start a podcast and just have R.R.K. Jr. on.

Like, you'll just doing that. But I really do think, I really do think he might have to retire. So we'll see. I know. Again, I think, D.K., your Belichick points excellent. Belichick is not in the league right now because he was bad for a couple years. Only three teams really, four teams even called really seriously about Rogers two years ago. And that was before an Achilles injury, and he got everyone fired because he sucked.

That was before that. Yeah. We'll see. You made the, the pat, nobody wanted to give the keys to him. Rogers is literally like when your grandfather refuses to stop driving. And everyone's like, Grandpa, we're not getting in the car with you anymore. It's dangerous for you and for everyone else. We are going to order delivery until you give up the keys, okay?

Speaking of which, I think the Cowboys, I have, we've started with Dallas getting obliterated on Monday in football. I think the seven-day stretch the Cowboys just had from the last two games is the most embarrassing and humiliating seven-day stretch it is up there with any team I've ever seen in any sport in my entire life How's Sal hold on that? Is he okay? Have you checked on him? I worry about Sal. He seems like he's kind of disassociated. He's kind of...

Sal's in his bizarro spot where he seems to like want to get into basketball now. Yeah, it's like he's just like Oregon's number one, whatever. We'll go with that. Yeah, now he's like asking Bill about the end. NBA because he doesn't want to talk about. Yeah, it sounds in a bad place. But, like, I mean, I just want to recap. I know we've talked about the Cowboys a lot.

I don't care. Can we just recap for you guys the last seven days? Because when you just objectively list it all out in a week, it's insane. The Cowboys lost 34 to 6 to the Eagles in a game where Cooper rushed through for 45 yards. C.D. Lamb dropped that pass because the sun was blinding him. He said 1,000 percent we should block the sun during games. And then Jerry Jones literally said, what about the sun? What about the moon?

We know where the sun is. Almost a year in advance. We're not putting the curtains up, which again, almost a year in advance. We figure that out, right? Almost the year in advance, we know where the sun is. We do the math. We've known that. We know where the sun will be like millions of years from him.

Jerry Jones refuses, says, like, we will basically never put curtains up for the games. I'm not doing it. So stop asking. We should celebrate Sunday. Like, we should celebrate the day where you find out where the sun's going to be the next year. We should figure out that date and celebrate it every year. We should. Yeah.

Anyway, so four days later after Jerry says no curtains, they have the Jake Paul, Mike Tyson fight at Jerry World. With curtains up. They put the curtains up for the fight. They put the curtains up for the fight. Jerry Jones is on the pregame desk for this Netflix boxing pregame show. His mic doesn't work. Michael Irvin is pleading with him to hire Deion Sanders on this pregame show while Jerry just waxes poetic about how Netflix is going to make them a ton of money and how many viewers they're getting for this wonderful Mike Tyson fight that's about to ensue. Two days later, because no sun, it's a Monday night football game.

They opened the roof at Jerry World for the first time in two years. The roof literally collapses. The sky literally falls. The ceiling, like, they have giant shards. You haven't seen this. Giant shards of roof. Think that it didn't land on anyone. Jesus.

It could have killed anyone. It's huge. It was like the length of a car, fell under the roof. Another one fell under the rafters. They left it there for the game. You're just hanging in the rafters. Yeah, we'll get it later. Yeah, we'll get it later.

Like literally the sky fell. And then the Cowboys lose to the Texans, 34 to 10. It was humiliating. Dak Prescott is watching from above in a booth injured like an angel looking down upon a world that, like it was just really sad. Zach Barton, their Hall of Fame guard is injured. Tyler Smith is injured. And they, so now Dallas, six straight home games where they've been down by 20 points, which has never been done in NFL history. The Saints have scored, the Saints have scored more touchdowns in Dallas the season than Dallas.

And then all that today, today, minutes ago, Mike McCarthy gives a press conference in the Dallas facility and the sun is blinding him the entire time. Why didn't they put the thing up? They had the thing before.

They had like a shade that was like covering his face before. Are there not blinds or curtains in this press room? I thought it was sunny in Texas a lot. Do they not have blinds there? Dude, he's answering questions. There's reporters in the direction of the sun

and he's looking down and he's just like, yeah, yeah. see yeah we gotta get the ball to see anymore yeah we really gotta stop he can't see he's like eyes are watering this is just this has been in like seven day period this is like you know if they made you know how like veep is like disturbingly accurate now in retrospect like if they made like a like a reality like a fake comedy reality show about the NFL it'd just be like what's happening to the cowboys this year like that would be the plot the roof is falling down the roof fell right after wouldn't block the sun.

The whole thing with the sun thing that's like the funniest part of it. I think the funniest part is that he said it's almost a year in advance. We can tell what the sun is. The second funniest part is like, the sun is so bright in there. Like the way they designed it,

it's like, it's like a prism that shoots the sunlight into the stadium. Like Meena Kives was there for the game yesterday. She texted us a picture. And it was like, she was like, you guys, the sun is so bright. Like it's like blinding you.

Like they're trying to do that. This was by design. It's like a middle school. science project. Yeah. It's like they put you like you like roast ants with like a magnifying glass. Like this is like the stadium. They designed

it like this. And apparently they were like engineers were like you guys this the sun is going to be really bright in there. They're like yeah, just do it. It's it's parody. It's truly parody. The Cowboys are parody at this point. Honestly,

the chair on top is that the press conferences are also blinded by the light. You don't think that fucking building is they could do them anywhere. They could do it in a room with no windows. That's like most teams do. It's just like a bit. It's actually insane. Anyway, all right.

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Gambling problem, call 1-800 gambler or visit RG-help.com. We're going to do Power Hour, and we're going to power rank the superiors. Super Bowl contenders, but we're really ranking. Maybe this is just me, but you guys know how like, and I'm sure we're guilty of this too, whenever we get to like playoff season and like there's teams on the fringe and someone's hot, it's like, oh, nobody wants to see this team in the playoffs. You know, like every anime says that. Yeah, yeah.

And it drives me up a wall. Justin Herbert is a problem at that. Oh, yeah. Steam emoji. Yeah. No one wants to see him in January. So I thought about it. And I feel like the best way to rank Super Bowl contenders is actually just ranking teams you

actually don't want your team to play in January. And like, because that really is the list of teams that you think are going to win the Super Bowl. It's like, I don't want my team to face this team. And so we're just going to do it that way. I ranked them. And then, again, we're doing this power hour style. So every two minutes, you're going to hear this sound. Great song.

Love that song. Pure bliss. Pure bliss. All right. So we're just going to do this. And again, this is very, very, very much in the order of, I mean, I guess for me, it's hypothetical for you two actually have teams that, you know, the Steelers will make the playoffs. Seahawks might. But for me, it's more hypothetically if I didn't want my team

to make the playoffs. Or I did, who I don't want my team to face in the playoffs? And we're to go top to bottom here. And we're just going to lay out a little bit of like why we think this team, you would not want to face this team and then how you would beat them if you could. And starting with timer on the clock, two minutes. Number one, obviously Kansas City Chiefs. I mean, this is not rocket science. But like they're not, they're not the best team, but they're John Wick. They're the like John Wick doesn't always look the most impressive and sometimes he looks like he's on the brink of death but he wins every fight. I mean, I feel like that's the point. He's always like limping around. He's always beat up like beat to shit just but he's so, so good. Yeah, that's this team. The

Chiefs are just so good at defense too right now. I think that's like the most intimidating part of this team other than they have the guy who you just can't beat in the fourth quarter and Patrick Mahomes for like in any circumstances he's just going to come back on you. But like the defense makes this team really, really tough to score points on too. And so. they are, they're just like a totally different version of themselves, but yeah, they're really, really tough. Yeah, I mean, the perfect example of this, I would say if last year didn't happen, I don't know how I would feel about this year, but like, we already have this proof of concept of, would the Chiefs go 11? They all have six games last year and they looked whatever throughout the whole year and they went and won the Super Bowl. I will say, I did, I flinched a little bit of if I, if I'm the Steelers, who do I want to face in a game?

the lions are flirting with being number one on this list for me. I agree, but that I kept thinking about it. But we think that because it's November. And then I saw Jared Goff throw five picks in a game. And I was like, ah. Fourth quarter, close game. Who are you more afraid of? It's Jared Goff.

I mean, if we're talking about sports myth-making, if the Chiefs do this Super Bowl three-pee thing in football, then Mahomes is going to be like our Michael Jordan. Like I know that there's, you know what I mean? Like, I know Brady's the goat. But again, Mahomes is better. I will say in terms of like why you, I will say the Achilles heel for the Chiefs team, because the defense is great, D.K., they can stop the run.

On offense, they're so slow. There's the slowest great team I've ever seen. Travis Kelsey's slow. DeAndre Hopkins can catch, but he's slow. Juju Smith-Schuster is slow. Kremehunt is slow. Isaiah Pacheco, the running back is going to come back. He broke his leg two months ago.

He's not going to be fast after breaking his leg. And then Xavier Worthy is fast, but he's running fast out of bounds, unfortunately. Yes, he's the George Pickens disease. He doesn't know where the sideline is in any game. He's just things like the, you know, Brad Pitt is the face blindness. Worthiest line blindness. My fear with the chiefs is that there's no Rishi Rice this year. Like, Rishie Rice really took off last year and it's like, I don't know if that's

going to be worthy. Kelsey is not the same guy. They don't really have anybody else. The argument for Rishie Rice is, I could be wrong, but today's November 19th, I don't think Rishie Rice had done almost anything of significance at this point last year. I think that's the argument for Wurthies. He's actually probably been. Yeah, Worthy's been more productive probably so far than Rice was.

So we'll see. But we'll see, but yeah. And the left tackle situation with the Chiefs is also like, that's, they've shoestring and bubblegum that for five years. I might come back on them this year. Number two, team you don't want to face in the playoffs. Yeah, it's the Detroit Lions, you said it, Craig. I mean, I, you know that genre movie, like men on a mission?

Like, that's the Detroit Lions. I just look at this team. They are, to me. Put together a team. Yeah, they're putting together a team. But, like, again, when I look at the Lions, it's all focus. no fear, pure physicality. Like they have everything.

And I mean, we never start this way, but I love the offensive line like Penae Sewell and Frank Ragnow on the offensive line are like these old school badass enforcers, which really that is kind of the identity of the team. We don't talk about him that way. Penet Sewell can out. I think Penae Sewell, I'm not kidding you. I think he's faster than like Kareem Hunt and like D'Andrehappins. The left tackle for the lions is probably faster than these people.

Or sorry, right tackle. But D.K., keep thinking about how you call the lions the most essential. aesthetically pleasing team to watch in years in part because whenever it gets the ball, they're wide open running at full speed. Yeah. It's like it almost looks like a video game sometimes because they are so like locked in as a team, as a unit, the cohesiveness. The just the way that it's like a symphonic.

It's the way that they marry the run game, like the physical punch you in the mouth run game with the explosiveness of Jemir Gibbs. And then they do play action with. Jameson Williams. He runs away from everybody. Every time Amon Ross St. Brown touches the football, he's running at full speed and he just catches the ball like it's sticky. I think he's caught. He's had a touchdown in like eight or nine straight games. It's all time record. It's just seven Hall of Famers in him. Yeah. I don't know. To me it's just like, man, this is like,

you know, it's a total cliche. It's like poetry in motion. Like watching this offense is, it's the platonic ideal of what football should be. Powerful, powerful physical, punch you in their mouth intimidating, but also extremely explosive and extremely exciting. It's not like a, it's not like a smash mouth team like the Steelers, no offense, Craig, where they're just like running into you and like tough and physical. They're not to say they're like they're a smash mouth team that also is the fastest team in the NFL. And to be honest, they kind of, I mean like, they do remind me of the Niners. I think the way the Niners have looked for the last three or four years is very lion'sy and that like, man, everything is so easy, so much yards out to the catch. Gough and Purdy

have similarities and like what people thought about them and what they're doing. whether they're a system quarterback or not. I think the reason why the Lions are a little bit different than the Niners is the Niners to me always had this like, oh, they're like this like offensive genius team. And it was like if Ben Johnson was the coach of the Lions. Dan Campbell being there.

And it's like having Kyle Shanahan and Dan Campbell together. And it makes the team so much tougher, which I think the Niners were a tough team. But there's like that extra edge that like a little bit of craziness that the Lions have that I don't think the Niners had. A thousand percent. Team takes on the identity of the coach. Bang.

The personality of the coach. Boom. 100% TK. And I know we're disrespecting Tom, Tom. I don't care out because I love the Lions. To your point, I think that the Lions have culture. I think in a lot of ways that we're like in a post-program era of football. I was talking to a very smart person earlier today about this about how like college football bleeds in the NFL.

And the Lions have a program. They have a culture in a way a lot of teams, frankly, do not. And I think that this Super Bowl run began when they blew that NFC championship game to the 49. And Dan Campbell said in the locker, I thought this was so, this stuck with me so much. Campbell said, you know, what do you guys always say? Guys are like, we're going to be back here. Dan Campbell said, I'm going to tell you guys the truth. We might, a lot of you might never reach this moment ever again.

Like you just might, it's so hard, you might never get back here. And everyone's, if you want to, you're going to have to work really hard because it might never happen the entire life again. And I actually think it galvanized the team so much. I think that's one of the reasons Ben Johnson did not take head coaching job. Like he literally, I think it's. be really special to deliver Super Bowl to Detroit. And I actually think all the...

They're so focused. Anyway, I can't say enough about this team. I love the Lions. And if they're going to lose, to your point, though, like the Niners, they're also the healthiest offense in the NFL. If they keep that up, the Achilles' heel is the defense. They can't lose more defensive line. They lost Hutchinson.

The whole thing depends on Zadari Smith and O'Lean McNeill at defensive tackle. Next up, though, teams you don't want to see in the playoffs. I three, I put the Buffalo Bills. I think the bills... I think this is right. I think they have to be third. DK, do you, like, I mean, yeah.

Sorry, no, I'm just thinking about, honestly, what was going on was I was watching the Josh Allen play. And, but like, I don't know. I do think that Josh Allen, he's not like Mahomes, but I think after Mahomes, Josh has to be the quarterback you don't want to see in the playoffs after. Yeah, yeah. I think, like, we kind of approach this, like,

why don't you want to play this team? And the first reason I think of is, like, Josh Allen is a superhero. Like, I don't want to play the frickin' superhero quarterback. You know, and I think obviously, like, Mahomes has done this and he's proven it and he's like unbeatable in the fourth quarter, blah, blah, blah. But like, below him, I'm like, I don't want to face Josh Allen because he can just pull something out of his ass at any moment and get them on the board, score points. Just make the most incredible plays you've ever seen. He physically, the most impressive quarterback in the NFL probably.

And so, you know, add into that, they have a pretty solid defense this year, top 10 and DVA. I think that their type of team that's built to win late because their run game has been a lot better this year than it hasn't previous seasons. They're pretty balanced across the board. Run, pass, defense is pretty strong. I think the one thing that worries me just a little bit about this team is they don't have like a superstar, like, playmaker at the moment.

I think Amari Cooper could be that guy by the end of the season if he gets healthy. But, you know, like, do they have a go-to guy that they can, like, get a bucket late in the game when they absolutely need a first down. Khalil Shakur, like, I don't think he's good, but I don't think he's like a number one. He's not the architecture. He's closer to like a Joanne Jennings and reliability and that he's a very non-traditional playmaker, but he's the third down guy. He really is.

It is weird that I agree with you, D.K., I think at least for me personally, it feels as though the bills are not as good offensively this year as they have been in past years. But they, in terms of just straight up points per game, They're scoring more points per game this year than they did the last two years. They're averaging 29 points a game, and they are third in the NFL in turnovers. They only have seven turnovers all season. Yeah, it's like Josh is actually playing smarter than ever. They're running the ball better than ever.

And their defense is actually playing pretty good, despite the start of the year, then kind of being injured a lot. And everybody being a little bit down on their defense. The defense, Christian Benford is one of the best cornerbacks in the NFL. Any chart that measures anything related to cornerbacks, it's just like Christian Benford is just in the top five on every metric. And you watch him. He's so big. He's so long.

He's playing so well. The other one I want to shout up. DeMar Hamlin quietly is just like a legit starting safety. You know, when he got hurt, obviously, we're not hurt. Obviously, everyone knows what happened to Mara Hamlin. But he was like a special team or wasn't really playing. Tomorrow Hamlin's like a legit starter in the NFL. He's not like great.

I don't think you'll ever make like an all pro team or pro bowl. But tomorrow Hamlin is like a perfectly serviceable NFL starting safety. He's a key player for them. I will say one thing that I don't think he's gotten a ton of praise like, nationally, but Greg Rousseau has been really good for them. Their past rushers, they have a pretty solid, deep defensive line, and that's always, like, I always think that's just so important in the playoffs. So, I don't know, the bills look built to win late, especially with Josh Allen, and they're

not turning the ball over this year at all. So that's, like, really crucial. Built diff. All right, next number four, I have teams you don't want to face in the playoffs. I have the Baltimore Ravens at number four, and they're just like the bills there. I feel like it's like Josh and Lamar 2A, 2B. I think the Bils and Ravens are kind of 2A, 2A, 2B, or 3A3B right here. Craig, you're the Steelers fan.

You just played the Ravens. Why would you not want to face the Ravens in the playoffs? To me, I mean, it's the obvious, right? It's like, Lamar and Derek Henry now is the scariest thunder and lightning one-two punch in the league. They were like a fumble away from making the Super Bowl last year. Every time, like every season Lamar's healthy, they are among the top three scoring teams in the league. Their second in points scored this year. And honestly, this team's got to be angry.

It's like, I think this is not. some plucky team that is on the up and up. Like, they want to win now. That's why they got Derek Henry to win now to be able to run the ball in the fourth quarter, which they couldn't do last year. To me, so it's like on the offensive side, it's clear why I'm afraid of the Ravens.

How you could beat them, this is like the worst defense Lamar has had in his career, basically, on the Ravens. If you look at, Lamar's basically been healthy for four years. He had two years where he only played 12 games. If you look at the four years, he's been healthy, and I'm going to include this year,

knock on wood. here are how many points the defense has allowed in those years. 2019, third least points allowed. 2020, second least points allowed. 2023, the least points allowed in the league. This year, 23rd. So it's like you're, and Lamar has famously struggled in the playoffs. He's averaging 220 yards a game, a touchdown, and a pick in the playoffs right now.

So it's like, Lamar is going to have to be perfect in the playoffs this year because the defense is not the same. Yeah, I think the, Lamar point is kind of where I land with the Ravens too. It's like their defense is not so good. When everything is going right, this offense looks like the greatest offense of all time. And Lamar has been more, he's been more like under control and in control in the offense than I've ever seen him. I feel like this year he's playing better than ever. But there's just that that like it's the monkey on the back thing where like once the playoffs start, it kind of all changes.

A little bit of a curse. A little bit of a curse. Yeah. Lamar two and four in the playoffs, six touchdown, six picks. Also, what the hell is going on with Justin Tucker? Like, if they don't have a kicking game in the playoffs, that's where he's. Yeah, Tucker hit a big field goal in that Chiefs game last year in the playoffs. I also want Jake Bates, too, for the Lions, I weirdly,

even before he had those two kicks that scraped the freaking goalposts, I actually talked about this on a show early this year. Jake Bates also had weirdly, like, a lot of extra points were close. He actually almost scrapes the uprights a lot on a lot of kicks. And I do actually think it's weird, like kicking. And Tyler Bass has been missing. All these great teams have a lot of kicker questions. That's a really good snite.

Harrison Butker has an MCL entry for the Chiefs. All these elite contenders actually have like serious. Like I don't Jake Bates hit the kicks, but those were functionally speaking off the foot. Like you thought that was a miss. Hucker factor. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God.

Yeah. Except my boy Boswell. Yeah. Boswell is the best kicker in the league. He won like two games himself. Not really. Not really, but yeah. He's like the best offensive player on the Steelers.

Austin, Texas. Austin Gillel here at the ringer says, Justin, we should call him Justin Pucker. Oh. That's pretty good. That's really good. Justin Pucker? Yeah.

Fuck, that's good. Damn. That's actually so good. I'm worried it'll stick and then it like, it will somehow get back to him that we named him that. We're like, yeah, Justin. Well, that Austin named him that. Yeah.

Don't play me. You're right. I actually think that's the best nickname. Yeah. That's really good. Has no one done that? That's shocking. Wow.

That has to have been done. Maybe no one did because he's never easily missed like eight kicks in his whole life. That one thought of it. What's better? Nervous, nervous, nervous. or Justin Pucker? Nervisner. Justin Pucker.

Nervis. You just get all tight when you watch them these days. Oh, boy. Nervisnardis and Justin Pucker. Okay. Next up, teams you don't want to see in the playoffs.

I'm torn here. I went with the Philadelphia Eagles. To me, the Eagles are the perfect example of like when they're on, they're on. And when they're off, they suck. The Eagles are going to go like 13 and 4

and I'm not really going to think about that. I couldn't decide. I went Eagle Steelers here. in that order. And I'm not going to lie, there's a chance I should have flipped it, and I kind of regret not doing, because the two differences

between the Eagles and the Steel. Well, there's a lot, but the two ones that I think stick out for I don't want to play them. The Steelers will win or lose their playoff game by somewhere between one and seven points. And the Eagles will win or lose their playoff game by somewhere between 20 and negative 20 points.

Like the Eagles will win by 20 or lose by 20. Yeah, they're high variance. Yeah, Steelers will be by the two-minute warning, you don't know who's going to win. And the flip side is, all the Steelers fans think they should be in the top tier with the Lions, Bills Ravens and are mad they're not included. And the Eagles fans, people want to put the Eagles with the top tier.

And the Eagles fans are like, no, we're not that good. Like, it's a, you know what I mean? Eagles fans, like this team sucks. You know how in the, in the, during the election time and everything, there were, like, I felt like there was a lot of people who did talking points like, well, if I'm so-and-so, I feel better than if I, than if I was so-and-so. Like, I just feel better if I'm this guy. Like, who do you feel better if you're the Eagles or the Steelers right now?

The Steelers? Steelers. Mike Tom on a Nickster. Really? Who do you want coaching? I would have thought the Eagles, honestly. I want to roll in with Mike Tom under the playoffs. Yeah.

I think the vibes are better in Pittsburgh right now. But I also think my mind always, honestly, I always lean towards offense. And I do think there is like Jalen Hertz, Sequin Barclay, Barks, A.J. Brown, Devonte Smith, like, the offensive line I think is better than Pittsburgh. Like, there is a, I still always go to that, even though, like, I know the chiefs have the defense and that's why they've been winning. But it's like, let's be honest, they have Patrick Mahomes. I'm still like, I don't know if the Steelers can score 20. points in a game and I'm like, I know Philly can.

And that's kind of how I'm going down. So just to recap the Eagles real quick, like 8 and 2, first in the Tennessee East, they are winners of six straight. The defense, I think, is starting to step up a lot more than they were early on the season. Like, they found a cornerback duo in Quinyon, Mitchell, Cooper to Jean, two rookies.

Like, you know, we remember during draft period when we were like, they needed, they have no secondary. They suck. Their secondary sucks. And then they just drafted two of our favorite corners, and now their secondary is good. Like, this is the thing that the Eagles do. You know what I mean? They draft good players to play in their system,

and it's working. I didn't think it could get worse than watching Sollac gloat about the Giants getting safe. So the Giants losing Sequin to the Eagles. And then to your point, D.K, the fact that the Eagles snagged Quinyon Mitchell in the first round and Coop and traded up with Washington, morons at Washington,

handed Cooper de Gene to the Eagles. Like, what were they thinking? And the Eagles just literally, I think the Eagles have their secondary for the next fucking half decade with that draft, maybe longer. Quinyon Mitch, I'm sorry. They're going to be so good.

I hate the Eagles. Austin just texted the Eagles since week six are best in the league by success rate, their defense. Yeah. And the EPA allowed per drive and points allowed per drive, best in the NFL.

Thank God their coach is just like a random guy who won a tournament to be plucked out of the stands. He's like that movie Eddie with Wubby Goldberg. That's how Siriana got the job. I think, I think the, yeah, and the Siriani thing, I think the one, like, fatal flaw, if you want to point to the Eagles, is obviously like... Is their coach just yells at fans? The leadership, the leadership is not reliable. And that's something that's very different with this next scene that we're going to do. I think Nick Siriani thinks he's Dan Campbell.

Yes. That's actually exactly what it is. The meme of, like, the person looking in the mirror and it's like a lion. You know. It's actually the Lions coach. Yeah. That's pretty funny. We have to make that.

That's actually put that on the gram. Yeah. It's throw up a ring your fantasy football. Follow us at Instagram. Okay. Next up, we have the Pittsburgh Steelers number six teams you don't want to face. I'm not asking Craig because, again, this is who you don't want to face. And Craig's, Craig's the Steelers fan, D.K., why would you not want to face the Steelers?

Because, and again, this is not a pejorative, this is not a negative. They drag you down into the mud. and get into a fight. It's like a wrestling match. Complementary. They're good at that. They're built for that. And I think they have like the pieces that you want in the playoffs.

I know that they're not like the best team. If you look at like DVOA, they're like middle of the pack. They're good in defense, middle of the pack on offense. And crucially, really good on special teams, which I do think shows up a lot in the playoffs. These are typically much lower scoring games. You have to hit big kicks. And Danny Smith, the special teams coach, which I think is an indistial. plant because I've never heard of him or seen him before.

The duolipo of special teams coaches. He's the Bobby Altoff. He's headlining Coachella next year, I saw. Like, I don't know. I just see him every single week now. And it's because the Sealer Special teams unit is second in the NFL. They're just making a play every week, it feels like, according to DVOA. And, you know, obviously, I think Russell Wilson has his limitations at this point.

But this is a Super Bowl winning player who's played in the playoffs, played in big games. It was 38 to 6. He didn't do anything of the Super Bowl. He did a lot of stuff in the playoffs. I'm not saying the Super Bowl necessarily. Also, the Super Bowl play, notwithstanding. He's played a lot of plays in the playoffs and in like big games, in big moments. He's made a lot of big play moments.

And so, you know, he got him to the Super Bowl that year before. Sorry, the game before they threw that pick at the end. Like, he hit a game winner in overtime to beat the Packers. So, like, he's been there, done that. Like, he's got the veteran leadership that you need in the playoffs. annoying. The Steelers are annoying to play. Especially this year. We always talk about defense is very like

volatile, right? One year it's bad and then it could swing. The Steelers had honestly a very similar roster last year and the defense wasn't as good. This year things are working. Everybody's firing. Their second in turnover margin right now. Like everything is just working and the vibes are really high. Then you have adding in Russell Wilson, who's

like the Steelers defense if he was a quarterback, just makes them one of the most aggravating teams to play where you think you have them and then Russ make some perfect pass down the sideline to pickings, like Eli to Mario Manningham or something. I always think of that Logan Roy quote of life. When I watch the Steelers, I just think about that quote.

It's like, life is a fight for the knife in the mud. But Craig, if you, that is 100% the Steelers, yes. Craig, if the Steelers lose in the playoffs, why are you, what are you nervous about like during the game? Like, what is your stress thoughts?

They blitz the shit out of Russ, and we score nine points. disaster. Yeah. Well, yeah, if they make you play from behind,

I don't trust this team. Yeah, those haven't won a playoff game in a minute. That's, that's the flip side. Is they make the playoffs? They haven't won a

playoff game and I think, am I wrong? Is it eight years? I think it's 2017 or 16? It's a long time. Yeah. Next one, number seven,

team you don't want to face in the playoffs. I think this is the first one that's controversial. And I think mostly this is chalk, what I have here. I put the Chargers seventh.

And that's probably total recancy bias from a Sunday night football game where Herbert was electric. But I thought it was the combination of Herbert. Really, this is a Jim Harbaugh ranking of Jim Harbaugh took over that Niners team forever ago. And they sucked. And they, like, he won a playoff game with them. Craig, am I over in my skis here?

Because I actually feel like the charges are like the top of the next tier of teams I don't want to see in the playoffs. Yeah, they're in this range. I think it's totally fine to put him here. You don't want to play them because it's like, one, there's a new team, new identity, the Harbaugh effect. They're like an old school playoff team where it's like they have a great. defense. They're first in points allowed. They're giving up 14 points a game, which is the best the team has done since 2019, the Pats in 2019. Defense is great. You got a steady hand at

quarterback with a how it's serve an arm. Herbert's not making any mistakes. He's thrown one pick. I think the charges are tied for the least turnovers in the league this year. So it's like everything they're doing is like old school football, running the ball, no turnovers, good defense. In terms of like how you could beat them, I'm a little nervous of them putting up points against the team that can score big. I mean, they've been. Basically, can they go on the road and beat a good defense, is my question, with this offense and the limited playmakers they have. They scored 10 points against the Steelers. They scored 14 points against the Chiefs.

And it's like, they're going to have to do that on the road in the playoffs. Like they will have to go through Pittsburgh and Kansas City and put up 21 to 28 points. Can they do that? I don't know. I think that's exactly right. I think that the flip side of the coin, the reason I actually trust the charges in the playoffs is that like the coaching with Jim Harbaugh, I think sometimes it's impeccable. Herbert is electric, strong offensive line, and a defense that can stop the run,

and I think Jesse Minter, the defensive coordinator, like modern cutting-edge defensive stuff. The flip side of the coin is, I don't actually trust a lot of the people on the other ends of those, like, that aren't those people to necessarily deliver.

I don't love the Chargers' depth in a lot of places. They have old people. Like, I don't know, you know, Cleo Mac. I would love Cleo Mac five years ago. Like, I'm worried about how they finished the season. And frankly, the receivers,

relying on quite Johnson. And Ladd. lying on Ladd-McConkie's a rookie. But yeah. I mean, do you really feel good about Gus Edwards or J.K. Dobbins? It's like they don't really have a tight end. Like you get that perfectly blocked play and then like how far didn't even finish the run? Like, again, third and ten, who is Herbert throwing to?

It's a little nerve-wracking that they put up 10 against the Steelers and 10 against the Chiefs. Yeah, I agree. No, I was going to say the exact same thing. I agree with the skill player assessment. Next up, teams you don't want to face in the playoffs. I think this is also like this whole, I think this is like a neck, this is a whole tier.

I think the Chiefs and Lions are a tier. And then you have Ravens and the Bills and the, Eagles Steelers. I guess Eagle Steelers are a tier. And then I think now this is a tier with the Chargers, starting with number eight, the Vikings.

This is the weirdest team. I think this is the, this was a very hard team for me to rank because, you know, why you don't want to play the Vikings is obvious and we've been talking about it for years. They're so talented. Justin Jefferson, Jordan Addison,

T.J. Hawkinson. Like, they're really great. Kevin O'Connell's a great offensive coach. And now this year, or you have Brian Flores, the defensive coordinator. Vikings are the best run defense in the NFL. Like they've allowed the fewest rushing yards in the entire league. And they're third in sacks.

That's how you become the number one defense but DVA. Like the fewest rushing yards, third in sacks, that's crazy. Andrew Van Ginkle. I know. Andrew Van Ginkle, the, you know, like an outside linebacker for the Vikings, kind of does everything, leads the entire league in tackles for loss. And he has the most pick sixes. Like it's like the Vikings defense is just gets you mans who can do both.

That's their whole thing. Yeah. they're a really good team. I also watched the Giants beat the Vikings in the playoffs two years ago. And I was totally different defense. They had no cornerbacks. Brian Flores done a great job. But it's like they're the tipping point this exercise of like,

I'll play you like the quarterback is Sam Darnold in the playoffs. You know what I mean? Like I don't know. So that's, this is like a perfect example of at the end of the day, it's Sam Darnold. It's Sam Darnold. Inside of Sam Darnold,

like you got to feel good about like all of the teams in the playoffs generally are pretty good. And like I'd rather face it. Sam Darnold and Josh Allen or whatever. Brian Flores is not on the field. Sam Darnold's on the field and Sam Darnold. Again, there are two wolves inside of Sam Darnold and one of them is an idiot. And that second, the idiot wolf has been poking his head out a few times lately.

The Vikings also have kind of like a jinks, like a playoff jinx as well, don't they? The Vikings are as cursed as any team. I don't think they're quite the level of like the Lamar thing, but they've lost some like absolute heartbreaking games. Hold on. We got an email from a Vikings fan the other day. Oh my God. I'm just going to read this.

This is Josh. High Fitz, you're a Giants fan. You're the literal opposite of the Vikings. Josh, I've been alive 37 years. In that time, your team has sucked almost every year of my existence, but in there you won two Super Bowls. Sorry, Tom, Tom, I have to read this. Your team has basically sucked forever, but you won two Super Bowls.

Part of that just dumb, stupid luck. Make the playoffs, things break your way fine. Good for you. Great for you. away from that. As a Vikings film, let me share my counter desperation. We are good almost every single year, truly underappreciated, underreported thing. The Vikings are almost always good. We make the playoffs in most seasons. Hardly ever have top 10 picks in my entire 37 years on this planet. One top five pick, which we got Matt Kahliel's in midling tackle. And he just keeps going. And it's like,

now I'm, he's like, and you're going to go ahead and cheer for the Detroit lions who have sucked forever. And he was just the whole email. This is like paragraphs and paragraphs. But it's him complaining that I want to root for the Lions to win the Super Bowl. But it's true, actually. I've never thought about that. The Vikings have been good almost every year of my entire life. And they've never really even got it. No man's land team.

No man's land team. Sorry, rooting for the Lions. Next up. Number nine, another team is really hard to rank. The Packers. I thought the Packers, I think you could totally flip-flop Packers, Vikings, because I think that basically they're the middle ground of the Vikings

where their defense is not nearly as strong as Minnesota. Their skill players aren't as good as Minnesota. But I trust Jordan Love way. more than Darnold. But I also don't really trust Jordan Love. I don't know. I look at this team as Matt Lefleur really is a great coach. And I really trust Matt Lefleur schematically, although obviously, like, you know, he had that loss.

Craig, I know we always talk about where they were down eight and kick the field goal inside the five. That was really fun. But I don't know. I feel like Deacon, I'm curious what you think, I feel like when I watch the Packers, I see a team where Matt Lafleur is a very control-oriented Shanahan's coach. and he is in this push pole between, do I like try to make Jordan Love into the shape that will like,

like, you know, square circle fit him, my offense? Or do I like relax and let Jordan Love be Jordan Love even if it means like losing to the 49ers because he threw a season ending interception? And I see the wrestling there in Green Bay. Yeah. Yeah, I still, I think Jordan Love, this is another team that they're kind of like the Eagles in my mind

where when they're really on and they're really clicking, like they are just a buzzsaw, like so hard to stop. But they're pretty high variance. And when things aren't working, they can look really pretty shitty. So it's like, you know, and I know that that's not like super like in depth or whatever, but that's just like I feel like they have a lot. They have a wide variance in terms of like what they can be. I think this team could if they get hot, like win the Super Bowl.

I think they're that good. But, you know, they've, number one, got to stay healthy. like Jordan Love has not been healthy in a little while here. And I think his decision making, he's got like the, he's got like the Aaron Rogers, protect the ball and Brett Favre just chuck it into like triple coverage and like whatever. So he's,

these are the two people like, you know, that he like preceded him. And so I think he's got a little bit of both of those guys in him. He's there with the two wolves. Yeah, he looks like literally like there's two wolves in me. Aaron Rogers and Brett Farrv, like imagine those two wolves being in you.

Like imagine the type of person. that is, you know what I mean? And I just don't really trust him quite yet. I think he's super, super talented. But he's got a little bozo in him too, you know? Like, there's just plays where you're like, man, what were you seeing there? Wait, can we also Photoshop that one where Jordan Love is Rogers and Farv sitting on his shoulder like angels and devils, but they're both devils?

Can you imagine? They're bold. Can you imagine like a more just like a crazier pair of mentors? Throw it. Throw it. He's open. Throw it. I actually think one of the funniest things that's happened all season in the non-Cowboy

Sun Division, is Jordan Love showing up with a Brett Farr of Jersey to a game and then throwing for like 400 yards and four interceptions? Yeah. Like, that was ridiculous. Oh, my God. All right, next up, I have the Houston Texans

as the 10th team, which were a very hard team to rank. You could convince me they're over the Vikings or whatever, but... Totally. I don't know. Craig, I... Why do you think... Obviously, like, what are you afraid of playing the Texans? On paper, it's scarier than I think it actually is. I think Strauss Joe Mixon and Nico Collins, you could argue

as the best one, two, three in the AFC. I think you could make that case. And their defense is good. They generate turnovers. They're like top five and yards allowed, all that stuff. But like, I don't like the vibes. I don't know. I'm with you.

I'm with you. Even though they destroyed, they literally like deconstructed the Cowboys. That means nothing to me. The Cowboys are a joke. This team is going to waltz into a division win. They have no competition. I mean, I'm not taking the Colts super seriously.

I think they're going to waltz into first place. in their division. I don't trust the offensive line. Stroud takes a ton of sacks. I might just have the ick of the Texans without Nico Collins because there's a huge difference. I went and looked at the numbers of like with and without Nico's like a massive difference. They go from top 10 in first downs to bottom 10 in first downs. Stroud throws for like 60 more yards a game when Nico Collins is there. So that might be the case that I had Stroud on my fantasy team and I had to fight through those six weeks without Nico Collins. And it was brutal. So I might be biased there, but I don't think, I don't trust Sloick.

You know, the Texans are first in third and longs this year. I just, I don't think the offense is clicking as much as it should be based on the talent. I think that's an excellent comparison. TKK. I almost think that Nico Collins and Tank Dell remind me a lot of the Kirkland brand version of the Eagles with A.J. Brown and Devante Smith, where you have this big giant six foot four bully with like this, like, this, like, wiry guy who, like, his grandmother, like, should, you know, put some meat on his bones and feed him more. And, like, but when the. big bullies out, the offense just does not look the same. Yeah. I think of all the teams that we've

talked about today, the Texans feel the most like they're actively working against their quarterback at times. You know what I mean? Exactly. And that's why it's hard to pick them. It's like there's so much talent there. I love the coach. I love the head coach. I love the vibes. I guess I love the personality that DeBico Ryan brings to the team. On paper, it looks Awesome. And then you watch them and you're like, I don't know, there's something missing. But like the offense, the identity that they're trying to have on offense to me feels like you're working against the strength of your team, which is I don't think I can say for any of these other teams that we've talked about that the coaching doesn't match like the players that they have.

And I think in this case, the coaching does not match the philosophy and like the style they play does not match the players they have. So I don't understand like what they're doing. You're dead on, D.K. Like if you look at the Packers, Matt Liffler obviously's value add to that offense. Like Kevin O'Connell's obviously a value added to the Vikings offense. Jim Harbaugh has been incredible for the Chargers and come on with Greg Roman.

I know Greg Roman, it's like, oh, he doesn't have the gross passing things. Jim Harbo is an NFL quarterback. We don't talk about that enough. Like Pittsburgh Steelers, Tomlin obviously is an amazing coach. The Ravens,

Todd Monkin's been incredible for the Ravens offensive coordinating. The bills, everything's, you know, I think it's going really well in Buffalo. And then honestly, the only one is Nick Siriani with the Eagles. Like those, there's really only one other team in this field

where you're like, it doesn't do anything. Yeah, it's like, yeah. He's there to, like, bop into different meetings and say hi and, like, see what's up. I think, I think D'Amico is a good coach. I'm not saying that I don't think he's a good coach. I don't like the offensive philosophy at all. They lead the NFL in third and long attempts.

86 of them this year they've had. With Stroud. The Texans have tried to copy the 49ers. Like, D'Miko Ryans is running the Niners defense, and he's doing a great job. And then the Texans are trying to run the Niners offense with zero of the early-down success that, like, defines the 49ers when they're humming. So, yeah, I totally agree. And the flip side, the exact inverse, I think, of the Houston, Texas, the exact inverse is the next team, the Denver Broncos, who Craig, I feel like the reason I say they're the universe, this is a team with a rookie quarterback in Bownex that I still don't really know if I trust whatsoever in a playoff atmosphere.

But you have to respect a Sean Payton coach team in the playoffs because he's definitely making everyone like the talent way better. Yeah, I mean, we've definitely jumped out into another tier below that Texans, Packers group. Now it's now we're in like, I actually do want to face you in the playoffs. And this is what the whole, peek behind the curtain, the whole reason I want to do this episode is people are like, oh, you don't want to face them in the playoffs,

talking about the Broncos or the Cardinals. And I'm like, yeah, those are definitely the teams you want to face. Yeah, like now we're into the plucky territory. I mean, the Broncos do a lot of good things that translate to the playoffs, right? They got a good old line. Their quarterback doesn't make mistakes. He's mobile. They don't, yeah, they don't take sacks.

They're an efficient team in the red zone. and their defense is good. They got a great shutdown corner. Like those are a lot of things that help you win in the playoffs. But like, let's be honest here. Can this team score against a good team? They scored nine against the Jets,

six against the Steelers, 10 against the Ravens, 14 against the Chiefs, and 16 against the Chargers. Like those are all playoff teams except the Jets. Can they score 20 points in a game? I don't think they can.

Yeah. I mean, it's funny because Bo Nix, he had a cajillion yards this week and he was really really high rated with QBR. And I saw this stat, I think I want to say from Derek Classen and shout out Derek Glaston at the athletic.

Derek, Bo Nix was like 97th percentile in QBR this week, which is, again, out of 100. Because there's pass rating in Eastman's QBRs at 100, 97th percentile. But he was three percentile in air yards. Like he, like, Bo Nix, like, had 300 plus yards. He, it was all after the catch. And I'm like, here we are at Oregon again, where Bo Nix is out here, like,

leading the league and reading FBS and completion percentage where it's like a third of his passes are like at the line of scratch. I know. I don't want to shit on him too much because he's been awesome. He's exceeded expectations by a ton. And I think he's like a solid quarterback. And he'll probably start for a while. I don't know.

Like the Chargers, I'm like, who am I trusting on his team on a third and long? It's a Cortland Sutton. The run game can't do anything. Bronco's going to throw to Devon Ville on a third and sevens. You know, this just came to my head because I was looking at the average air yards per target for the NFL. You could compare, like, I like the idea of comparing Bowdox to Patrick Mahomes derogatory.

Like, you know how Patrick Mahomes plays now? where it's just like everything is just right around the line of scrimmage. It's like it looks like their offense is so hard. Like, you know, he'll run around and make plays. I think the only difference obviously is like we trust Mahomes implicitly in the fourth quarter, whereas like Bo Nex is a complete wildcard. But like, I mean, Bo Nex has been playing pretty sound football. Like he's delivering the football to the playmakers and letting them do the hard work.

He's like playing essentially late career Drew Brees style of football. You know, Sean Payton did compare him to Patrick Mahomes. And there you go. Derogatory. Yeah, derogatory. He's like, I never said it was good. But yeah, dude, Patrick Mahomes, the two players in the NFL right now

with the lowest average air yards per attempt are Tua and Matt Mahomes. Wait, I can't believe that like the Sean Payton thing is like he's like, he's like actually Sean Payton's like just started watching the NFL like the last two Baham season. I just checked out. Just a bunch of screen passes to freaking like random ass receivers. Oh my God, that's amazing.

The next team I hear, and again, we're in the tier of actually, yeah, I'll play you in the playoffs. I would love my team to face you. Next up, I have the Arizona Cardinals. Talk about plucky. I think this is the pluckiest of the group. They are strangely 12th in DVOA this year. They have some quality wins on their record right now, and they're a well-coached team. They've got some playmakers on offense.

I don't know what to make of this team, honestly. I don't know. I don't think I trust them yet. But at the end of the day, like Kyler, Atray McBride, Marvin Harrison, Jr., James Connor, that is like a pretty sick offensive group, a type of offense that can like play with anybody if they're on and if they're, and if like they don't fade in the second half the year like they typically have, or at least Kyler has. So I don't know, man, there's something with the Cardinals this year.

I don't, their defense has been better. They're 12th on defense in DVOA. Their defense has been a lot better than expected. But I still trust them, you know what I mean? I don't know if this is going to last. the whole one of my least favorite developments in the NFL last five or six years is the idea that running backs don't matter when it's like all right running backs aren't a huge like valuable investment in the NFL if you want to look at people as assets but again you look at culture James Connor and the Cardinals I really believe has changed the culture of this team in a way that's changed my mind about the position because I remember when the Cardinals were basically we were expecting them to be actively tanking James Connor was in training camp giving what I would describe as delusional delusional quotes about what the Cardinals could accomplish. last year. And it actually takes that kind of like focused illusion.

And like I actually think that he's like the Cardinals have caught. I really think that he's like emblematic of the whole team where Dika, you called it last year. You were like the two and two and 11 Cardinals had better vibes than the 13 and two Eagles at one point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like this team has believed they're a playoff team since last season when they had two wins. I think that's like the perfect. I even wrote this down.

They're starting to believe. Like I, I, you can just see them like they're a team that has more confidence. and they're like, they're the type of team that's like no one believes in us. You know what I mean? Everybody does that. All pro athletes do that. They are the nobody believes in his team.

They are the nobody believes in us team. And they're in first place in the NFC West. And they don't really have any bad losses. Like when you look at the schedules and stuff, talking about Denver, Denver's had a really easy schedule and their two best wins are like against the box and the Falcons. Dude, the Cardinals have six wins. They've only lost to the Bills, the Lions, the commanders, the commanders,

and the Packers. That's it. And they've beaten good teams. All of their wins. They haven't had an easy game this season. And they beat the Rams, they beat the Niners, they beat the Chargers, dolphins, bears, and jets. Like, these are all real wins.

Yeah, totally. Craig, did you see the Bleach report had a video of Kyler Murray eating pizza in New York? No. And it was just, actually some random guy from Switzerland. And they were just talking about the pizza and the guy who had no idea who Kyler was. And the guy is, like, towering over Kyler Murray. Yeah, if you see Swedish, he's probably like 6'4. He was, I think he might have been.

But, like, the guy had no idea who he was. There were very few athletes who, like NFL. quarterbacks who could do that. Just because even if you're not known to be famous, you're large. Like, I don't know if Jared Goff's like that famous, but Jared Goff's still like six, four. It reminded me how Kyler Murray actually is the most average build. Like, I don't know if anyone has ever had a more average looking build compared to like athleticism ever as Kyler Murray, who was the ninth pick in the MLB draft and the first

pick of the NFL draft. And he can just walk around and he's five foot tight eating pizza. And no one even gives him a second look. He's pretty muscular. I mean, he's like, he's kind of thick. He's got the Mahomes body. Does he? Does he?

I thought his legs and stuff. I thought he has like mini Sequin legs. Is he not? Yeah, I was going to say the same thing. I thought he was like pretty muscle bound. If he's in like form fitting workout attire, I think you would know. But if he's actually pretty ripped, I'd take it back. Yeah.

But if he's wearing like sweats and a hoodie, I guess you're like, yeah, this guy's five nine. He looks like Drake after all the surgeries. He fits when you talked about how just the guy, this random guy is just towering. over him and it's like hilarious. Like the, when you were talking about James Connor, I was like, James Connor's so essential to this team because if you had like, Kyler Murray and some like miniature little guy like like Devon E. Chan in the backfield, I wouldn't believe in the Cardinals at all.

Like they need, they need that that balance of like a big, scary looking like really intimidating running back. And then there's Kyler Murray. You know, of course, but like if they had like a little guy, I just feel like it wouldn't work. Half of it was James Connor was the tallest guy in the offense last year. so he was the leader. It's James Connor,

Marvin Harrison, Trey McBride, Michael Wilson, like these are all big human beings. Yeah. And Dorch. Next up here, I'm Washington commanders

as the 13th team and the process isn't higher. I feel like people are going to be upset. Yeah. Well, you know why? I feel like I can say this because I'm coming to you

from Washington, D.C. And I can report that after speaking to every commander's fan in D.C., not really, but I know a lot. Actually, a lot of them were pretty upset about the Zegals,

loss. And I really care that Eagles Thursday and football loss carried a lot of weight with the fan base because it felt like a real referendum on whether this season was legit or not. Because beating the Eagles, I mean, again, Washington like the Giants have gotten the crap

kicked out of them by the Eagles for so long. And losing it validates. Kind of like a litmus test? Yeah, it validates a lot of fear, specifically about the Cliff, Kingsbury Cliff, the nominative determinism, that Cliff hits a cliff every year.

Yeah. In the second half of the year, he should change the letter in his name to a C, set of a year. Really, it's just Cliff Kingsbury. And like Theo Ash tweeted out, he literally just graphed out the EPA per play of the, of the Cliff Kingsbury offenses on graph paper, which I forgot about graph paper.

I forgot you that existed. That's old school right there. And he plotted it on the chart. And every, it just, it looked like Bitcoin over like the last 10 years. It just shoots up and then down. And then week nine, it's like actually Cliff Kingsbury is the one who falls off a cliff after Call of Duty comes out. It's just like every Cliff Kingsbury offense is incredible to start the year and craters. And Ted win at the athletic

at this great reply, basically being like quarterback mobility is so important to Cliff Kingsbury and then they kind of break down if they get bad or too much and then the defenses catch out of the wrinkles and there's no in-season innovation. There's a crap ton of off-season innovation.

But I look at that, I'm like, yeah, Kyler Murray did always break down at these Cliff Kingsbury offenses. And also, yeah, same with Jen Daniels. He has this rim injury. He got a 45-yard run. He's not the same. Yeah, it's tough.

That was the fear of going in. Like, he has been awesome, but he did get hurt midseason, and now I think you're seeing it a little bit. The performance has fallen off. I think to me, this is like a bigger thought, like in terms of the NFL,

but like this is a good example of how the NFL tends to like catch up and, you know, identify some of the things that you do well and then start to take that away. And then the offense has to like, you know, basically adjust on the fly and like find other wrinkles that are going to work.

But like the commanders came out hotter than any team in the NFL. They look like the best team in the NFL. But then I think over the last few weeks or whatever, like over the course of the season, teams have started to like realize, okay, this is what they do really well. We're going to make it a little bit harder for them to do that. And then you have to like adjust on the fly. And I think that's what's happened in the past with Kingsbury's offenses is they don't find the adjustments.

They don't find the counterpunches. And like from a big picture point of view, this is what happens in the NFL. It's like teams adjust when when teams come out hot. This is like the saints. after the first two weeks, we thought the Saints were the best team in the NFL, and then teams adjusted. And lingering here, because, one, I'm sure, I think you're dead on D.K. And I know we're lingering here for a second, but I think to all the Washington fans

who are pissed at me right now, one, in terms of who I want to face, I would like to face a team whose entire hopes are on a rookie quarterback in their first playoff game. That's number one. And two, to your point, DK. Who is the last Super Bowl winner that started, that, like, crushed in September? Like, going through the list, I mean, the Chiefs last year who, like, remember that first game of the season versus the Lions where Cadarious Tuddy Fumble, like the Chiefs did not look

good in the last couple of seasons. They slow play it, it seems like, pretty often, yeah. Remember the Tom Brady Bucks? Remember how bad that team started with Tom Brady? Like, they had two losses to the Saints. The Bucks started awful. I don't know, you just look back. It's really rare that the Super Bowl team looked awesome

in September. So, yeah, sorry to Washington, but. Also, it's just, this is the reality of the NFL. Like, injuries happen. Yeah, it's just hard to be good for the injuries. 18 straight games. Usually you're only health. enough for nine. Exactly.

And the last team here, I just put the Falcons. I think the Falcons are going to be the worst team in the playoffs. I still think they're going to win the NFC South. I think they're going to win the NFC South.

You don't think they're going to make it or you don't think they're the worst team? No, I don't know if they're going to make it. They're playing so poorly right now. They might not. Yeah, it could be the Bucks. Like, again, you know, and maybe I said the Cardinals.

Maybe the Cardinals won't even make the playoffs, right? Because they have six, they have six wins. The other three teams, the NFC, West have five wins. I look at the Falcons. Alkins less to the Saints and Broncos last two weeks. I mean, the Broncos, I think, are pretty decent.

They scored six points against the Broncos. I know the Broncos have a great defense, but fundamentally, Kirk can't move and the defenses that can get to them, they have no pass rush. And the teams that can attack Kirk at the launch point, like, they have no offense. They have like six sacks on the season or something ridiculous. Yeah, they're one of the worst pass rush teams in the history of the NFL. I will say, I'm looking at their schedule. They've got the charger, they have a by week this week, Chargers, Vikings.

that's tough. And then to finish the season, it's Raiders, Giants, commanders, Panthers. Depending on how well the Panthers are playing late in the season, you know, that could be like the biggest game

of their season. But they still have like a path, I guess, to the playoffs. You're right. Dude, think of it. To Craig's point, yeah, they have 10 sacks

on the entire season for Atlanta. The Patriots sacked Caleb Williams nine times in one game. I mean, but they got Michael Pennix on the bench, baby. I don't know. The Falcons have needed

a pass rusher for 15 years. Bring Pennix in. This is a good time for a buy for them. They're banged up now, so this will help. Yeah. So, honestly, for, you just play Tom Tom. The Falcons don't have me to deserve the full two minutes. Sorry.

Can talk about my Seahawks. Seahawks are back, baby. Yeah, get to the playoff field and we'll talk. Okay. You guys want to do some, let's do some fantasy court right here. Let's do it. Yeah. Definitely don't tell anyone about this thing that you're doing.

I don't really want to be handcuffed. The definition of an object is a material thing that can be seen and touch. Always good to keep that in mind about the definition of an object. I just picture Craig, like reading a dictionary with like some glasses, like licking his finger. Like white goodman coming down the staircase. The definition of an object. Yeah, I have it. The glasses resting on the tip of my nose.

I also like to get a mental, or what is it? Break a mental sweat. I like to break a mental sweat as well. Anyway. So last week, if you weren't with us, we got an email about the League of No Integrity. Which I actually think of the entire time I've done the show, it's the single-best fantasy league I've ever heard about. We're debating making our own because of this email.

So we got an update from, we got an update from someone in the league, actually from Logs. Logs, Logan. Logs. And so we asked more, and so logs followed up and said, I wanted to give you a bit of insight into the League of No Integrities, quote-unquote, rules and some of the shenanigans that have transpired, where again, the point of the League of No Integrity is you're allowed to cheat,

no matter what, like the point is to win and there's no rules. And someone emailed in being like, oh, they broke the rules. And we're like, dude, it's called the League of No Integrity. Why are you talking to our court? So Logs writes that Craig mentions stealing someone's phone to drop players. Uh-oh. Logs mentions that has happened multiple times. Oh, my God.

Diabolical. The rule we had to establish is that if someone is able to get into your account and drop players, you are able to get your players back except your highest scoring player. Oh, my God. That one you lose. And this allows everybody to keep playing, like basically because I guess people couldn't field teams. I was going to say you release all of players. People couldn't field competitive teams.

So you just lose your best player, which think about just dropping. Like, imagine just losing Jamar Chase. Even in war, there are rules. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no bullet up hospitals, no cutting Jamar Chase. Yeah. Actually, no, you do lose Jimar Chase. But so they said another precedent we established was the only way for trades to get vetoed is if all but one player votes for it, which.

So if you're able to. to get into someone's phone and trade, say, Christian McCaffrey for Marquez Velde as Scantling, as long as you convince the rest of the league to allow it, it goes through. You have to like lobby. Which is so funny. You have to whip up votes? They say we also only allow two bench spots so that the waiver pool stays really spicy. Wow.

That's kind of fun. I like that. Yeah. And then some of the shenanigans that have happened in the past, we all actively sabotage each other. We care more about winning than the money. For example, our draft this year was purposefully set at a time. that one of our members would be announcing his son's middle school football game,

where he does the play-by-play. And so he had to draft the entire team while also announcing the middle school football game in front of hundreds of people. He's like, Strah, I mean, Williams, you're right. I got Matsui. Yeah, they've scheduled drafts during people's flights. Someone once paid the buy-in for four of their members, and then in exchange for taking their best player.

It's just a lot of stuff. There's one guy who, I guess, his boss locked him out of his account, so he couldn't edit his lineup. There's a lot of good stuff. You got to have your head on a swivel in this league. I know. You got to have double, what is it the double, what do you sign in?

What's it called? Authentication. Two factor. Oh, yeah. Two factor is what I was looking. So I think, yeah, I think we should do this. I think our, we've, we've been dancing around a ringer fantasy football league for years. We haven't known what to do.

I think this should be it. We should have a purge league where anything is allowed. Yeah, that's good. We'll do like a missed extra point is minus 100. I'm already I'm already kind of like nervous about this league I'm excited a purge league is incredible I thought Bill's league was crazy where there's 13 people in the league but only 12 can play every year and they all have to show up to the draft and one gets kicked out right before the draft starts I thought that was still that rule for this league we should

heck yeah that's that's like the best rule let's yeah we'll do that um okay incredible incredible work logs for real that's a great idea I'm sure it's like I'm guessing they're not like the first people ever but I love it do we have a real case yeah we do This one's from Josh. Josh. Thanks in part to your awesome podcast that was able to convince some friends to join a fun 12-team fantasy league this year.

No money's at stake just between friends. One guy will call him Daryl. It's a first-time fantasy player. On top of that, he's unknown in the group. He was friends with one guy in the league, but none of the rest of us have ever met him. He lives across the country. Oh, the infamous Rando.

Things started okay, but as it turns out, Darrell is a genuine fantasy psychopath. He went from not knowing the rules of fantasy football to consuming hours and hours of fantasy content, sending dozens of trades daily, and dominating her group chat with every thought on every game. Wow.

And the enthusiasm was kind of fun, but now it has gone too far because one of the players in our league has been out of the country for a month on business. And so Daryl stepped in to quote, advise this guy's team. He now sets the other guy's lineup every week and makes waiver moves for him. And this week, Daryl set up a massive trade with this guy in his favor. The guy has not made another trade all season.

He traded with himself. This guy's like holding this dude in a conservatorship. Dude, it is. Are we sure this guy's actually on a business trip? He's not missing. Dude, I know. He killed him. What's this guy's name?

The business trip guy. Free that guy. to be clear, Darrell's victim has access to his team but has basically completely submitted player operations to Darrell

who sounds like he can log into his team. I think Darrell has compromise on this guy. Is Darrell a fantasy serial killer? It is kind of like those stories of like

someone infiltrating your life. He's like a fantasy Rasputin in the conservatorship. So the league is in an uproar, accusations are flying around, back to or dealing

and vetoes going back and forth. No one can get a trade through without getting criticized. then vetoed. Our Yahoo group chat is up to like a million messages. The out-of-country guy has been completely non-responsive, won't take ownership.

It's because he's missing. Yeah. We're dead. Most people agree to finish the season and never play again. So what do I do? Oh, wow. Yeah. Do we sanction Daryl?

Do we do a bowl ban? Do we put up with it and then ax him next year? We need a way forward out of this mess. It was my first time as a commissioner. It was a disaster. So what is the friend? Daryl sounds like a maniac. The guy who's friends with Daryl,

what does he think about this? So they can't get in touch with him. Oh, oh, his friend. Great call. I forgot about him. I wonder if he's out of the league. I think this is,

while this is a very funny court case, this is very easy. Kick him out next year. It's a 12-team league. You kick out Daryl, and you kick out the guy who was in business for a month and couldn't check his phone.

And the friend. He's doing his job. Who recommended Daryl? He has to be punished for this too. That guy gets docked like a ninth round pick for putting everyone through this. or it has to buy drinks at the draft or something. He has to bring drinks to the draft.

And then you kick Daryl out, you kick the guy out who's been out for like a month. Again, you're in Europe on business. Dude, come on. Like, you're doing work. Like, you have the internet access. They have the internet in Europe, I think. They do. I've heard that.

Yeah. Well, how would you kick out Daryl? You start a new league. Dude, I think, yeah, you start a new chat. You tell Daryl that you're shutting down this league. You say, hey, we did it for one. year we're done, it's over, and then you secretly start a new league? Yeah, none of them know him and he's on the other side of the country.

What's it going to do with this show? He will find you. He will 100% find you and probably kill you. Because I find you. I'm not here in the trenches, John. Stuff on my head when I'm drowning. I'm nervous about Daryl's friend. I know.

He's a wild card in this because if you shut down the league and start a new one, where does Daryl's loyalty lie, you know? I feel like, you wait, you're worried about Daryl's friend. Sorry, where does Darrell's friend's loyalty lie? So you're going to be Team Darrell in this situation? See, Craig, this is what I was saying. If you're going to be like McAvalian about it, you just got to like kick both of them out. But like, what do you say to them?

But what if the friend wasn't the same person who's out on business? This didn't work. The league's over. And then you quietly start a new league with that. But this guy is a friend of yours. He's in the group. You're just going to kick him out without an explanation. You're just going to say, the league's over.

Yeah, you got to be really, you have to get like a cone of silence with all the players in the team. No social media post. So for the rest of time, this friend group has to pretend that there's no league. Yeah. We need utmost discipline. I think you have to go right to Daryl's friend and you got to sit him down after the season and say, hey, look, buddy, Daryl can't be in this league. It's us or him. He's destroyed the league.

Everyone wants to quit. Everyone's going to stop playing because of this guy. No one knows this guy. He's running two teams. This is ridiculous. Daryl needs to get, Daryl's friend needs to get code red. You need to draw a line in the sand and say you need to choose. Yeah.

That's wild. I haven't heard of this before. Daryl's the fantasy terrorist. It's like a hostile takeover of a league. He's not a hostile takeover. Oh my God. Just like carefully throwing everyone off the island. Oh my God.

It's like this memes of Sam Alton. And hashtag free Europe guy. Get that guy out. What's he doing? Is he all right? I think they need to like proof of life on this guy. Go check on this fella. To have photo him in the newspaper.

He's like in Europe on a trip. Who goes on a business trip for a month? I was wondering that too. What job is that? And just like stops checking your league. I guess the only other wrinkle to this is I'm like, there's no money in this league either. So it's like maybe the guy on business was like, it's fine.

I'm in ninth. But yeah, he's honestly like, I don't give a shit. The funniest part is that they were like, run my team competitor and everyone's like, cool. It's like, no, that's not allowed. I know. So that means Daryl convinced Europe guy to give him like the log into his team?

Or is he just advising? That means they're communicating, right? I don't know. No, I think he just makes decisions. The irony is we're always like don't veto trades. And the thing I always say is like, how did he get that guy's login? How did Daryl get Europe guys logging?

I think he gave it to him. That's weird. There's something going on. He's got like compromising information on this guy. He's blackmailing him for sure. This is wild. You know something fancy football at gmail.com if you've ever been spoutened. You have to go to Daryl's friend and say,

hey, look, buddy, we're not doing this league with Daryl next year. He ruined the league. Hi Fitz. Hi Fitz. What's your half measures speech? Oh, Walter White. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's true. No half measures. Walter. No half measures, Walter. No half measures, Walter. No half measures. Dude, that speech for breaking bad, like, is like life change. He's like, he's like, dude. He's like, dude. He's like, dude. I do. I think he looks Walter right in the eyes. Like, I took a half measure when I should have gone all the way. It's like, fuck yeah. But that guy talks. I listen. Dude, yeah. No half measures. I think I'd be a little scared, though. I know. You've gotten yourself into genuine. a genuine pickle here.

If you start a new league, you kick Darrell's friend out. Or sorry, if you kick Darrell out, you start a new league, I feel like... Well, if you're the friend, imagine getting the text from Darrell. I was going to say, like, mid-August rolls around, Daryl's like, hey, when's the draft? You got to kick Europe guy out too because he's got his login info. Imagine he did? Oh, my God, he can see it. This is like a fucking Fincher movie.

Yeah. Oh. This is terrifying. Maybe you should just not play fantasy anymore. Yeah, just give up. Stop listening to our show. Give up. Change your ad.

address. This is what they really need to like go to with this protection program. Give fantasy basketball a shot for a year until Daryl's off the scent. Trade lives. This is what cringes for you. Get on the cringe app. You trade lives with that guy who said in front of that whole group at the hospital like Florida,

Sealy windows. And he was like, wow, what a nice 30,000 foot view. Florida ceiling. That's actually a nightmare. You got to just jump off that building, I think. Break through the window. It's over. Florida sealing windows.

Wow. This is a nice 30,000 foot view of Mr. C. of my company. What do you guys? So wait, hold on. One last thing before we go. So this email,

was it Josh, outlined that Darrell is a voracious fantasy football consumer. Yeah. Daryl might be here right now. Daryl might be listening to us. Daryl's in the room.

Daryl is a ghost right now listening to this podcast and plotting his revenge against poor Josh. If you are this person, email us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. Give us your side of the story.

And you know what? We'll let you into the chaos league. Darrell, you're in the league, Darrell. He's a charter member. Darrell, you can never tell us your real name. Darrell, I don't want to know what you look like. You can't tell us your real name. You just have to go by Darrell, and we don't know anything about you.

You're an anonymous person. You're like Banksy in our league. That's funny. Fantasy Banksy. We don't know how many teams he runs. How many people is it? Some anonymous avatar of you. You're in the draft.

making moves. You're like a mafia leader. Dude, it's like that movie of like, what was that horror movie where like the tech guy invents an invisible suit to like stalk his ex-girlfriend? Oh, I think it's called the Invisible Man? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. With Elizabeth Moss?

Are you talking about with Kevin Bacon? I don't know. I never saw it. I think that's called the invisible man. What is that called? That's an old movie, yeah. But Darrell, you're in the, you're in the purge league. We're going to take a year to take in all these.

Hollow Man. Resumays. Hollow Man. That was it. Yeah. All right. Josh Broland's in that. Wow.

There is an Invisible Man with Elizabeth Moss in 2020 The Vizabeth Man's, I think, an old classic, isn't it? That's the third man. Elizabeth Man is a remakeer. Elizabeth Man. I mean, Invisible Man is based on a book from like the late 1800s. And then they made a movie called Invisible Man, I think, in the 30s. But you're right, there is a 2020 movie, The Invisible Man.

That movie is supposed to be good. It looks good. Not for me. I've been forced to watch so many scary movies because of the rewatchables. It sucks. I don't like scary movies, even. Dude, I had to watch Hereditary for scary months. You would do that while we were at Corby.

You were like watching a laptop at 9 in the morning. I walk in, you're like, ugh. That was legitimately by far the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I don't think people should be allowed to watch stuff like that. That's just, it's too good. We've gotten too good. Yeah. That needs to be wiped.

I'm never watching that. Nah. Shea Serrano would talk about that all the time of like, you watch a scary movie from the 80s. And they're like, oh, no, the killer's coming. And now it's like they have just perfectly calibrated every sensory way to freak you out. No, you can't do that, not for me. 80s movies are fun.

Like, Halloween, those are fun. Some things are too good. They're too good at scaring you in horror movies, and they're too good at pricing what you will pay for goods and services today. Like, those are two things that we need to go back to, like, a previous era. What do you mean pricing goods and services?

Like, inflation. Like, they just have all this information on what they'll charge for things online. I'm like, it's too good. You guys have weird things that, like, you spend $8 on a coffee, but you won't spend $99 on an app. I feel like there are things

that I just refuse to spend money on. I've been trying to, I follow San Diego State basketball religiously. And there's this, the San Diego Tribune writes about them all the time. And I always try to read them and I can't. And I'm always trying to like incognito mode. I'm doing anything I can to try and read these stupid articles. It's, it is, it is $3 for the year to read all these articles. And I won't do it.

Just pay for it. Craig, I will Venmo you $3. Just fucking pay for it. Kai, write that down. That's our Christmas gift for Craig. I don't you mean, though, because, like, there are things where I won't pay. And then, like, I go to Whole Foods and it's sourdough is, like, six bucks. Yeah.

And I'm like, it's fucking bread. Like, just loaf of bread. I'm paying $6. People are spending, like, $24 on an Airwant smoothie. And I'm like, three bucks for a year's worth of content? No. Oh, my God. That's funny.

Craig, just buy it. I'm trying to think. I don't think I have anything like that. You don't have anything like that you're irrational. I mean, I'm sure I do, but I can't think of it off. If someone's like, oh, this weather app is incredible. and I'm like, oh, I got to get it. And it's $2.99.

I'm like, eh. It's true. There's something about apps, I think. Because there's so many of them are free. I think there's something about paid apps. That bothers me. Yeah. Dude, my death app.

It's a dollar. It's a dollar. Hefez always just sends us screenshots of his death app. Shout out We croak. A guy, he still, Kara Swisher recommended it all the time. It's we croak? No, it's we croak. No, it's we croak.

Oh, my God. I don't think we needed the we. Is that tongue and cheek? It's just like the Timberlake. What about just like, just like, just. Facebook. Just croak. I croak.

I honestly feel like I have the app because you send us so many screenshots. I sent, no, it's five a day. So people don't know what I'm talking about. I have an app that there's a saying in Boutan that if you contemplate death five times a day,

it brings happiness. And the app is literally $1, and all it is to send you a quote about death five times every day. And while you guys make fun of me, it is incredibly nice to be looking, whatever you're like, sometimes it's like you're like stressed about whatever's going on in your life. You know what I mean?

You're like, like, oh, I think I stepped in like, is that dog shit on the bottom of my foot? And now I walked on my carpet. And I'm kind of like, oh, is there, oh, no, like, what's going to be dead one day? Yeah. And then you're like, I'm going to fucking die. And like, you know what? Make your own problems go away.

It's really nice to have, like, stressful tweets or headlines on your phone. And then next to it's like, you're going to die. Tifitz, this is like essentially, you're describing essentially my nihilism. I'm not actually a nihilist, but like, it makes me feel better to have nihilist thoughts when I'm stressed. It's finding beauty in the final. nature of life. Yes. Yeah.

And also the absence of stress. All right, eat Arbys. Okay. We can get out of here. Thank you, D.K., thank you, Kare and Kralis, for producing this episode. Thank you, Jonathan. Thank you, Felipe. Thank you.

Everybody for help. Thank you. Everyone for watching. Thank you. Emails at ring your fantasy football at gmail.com. Anybody who thinks they can be in the purge league, like you got it, that's a high bar. Darrell, hit us up. Daryl, hit us up.

Daryl, he's listening. I know he is. Thank you, Lauren Lauren Thank you, Alt J Oh, dude, I love Al J Dude, we should call Joe Alt this Whoa

I think he's been called something They have another Oh, Control Alt Delete That's better Alt J's not famous enough for him to be No, but it's funny because like RezLJ do for you Isn't it make a triangle

Isn't that their whole thing? I don't know Is that what it is? I think Alt J makes a triangle I think What does Alt J do? YouTube chat. What does an Alche do?

Chat. Opens the downloads tabs. I thought I was going to do triangles. It could be very wrong. Download? I think you confused Alché with the Illuminati. It was named after the command for making the Delta sign with the Mac computer.

Yeah. So like the triangle. Yeah. So Craig had it. They kind of talk like that song is like, It's been. Yeah, it's been. They're kind of like if that was like,

like you played that song in the game of telephone, like 100 times, you would end up with, like, breeze blocks. Yeah, I mean, their lyrics are, it's like, In your, in your, yeah, it's like,

the SpongeBob, like, future! That's like where Al-Jet came from. I understand about 20% of the words, they say, In your snack, it's pleasure. Yeah, yeah, it's just,

what the fuck are they talking about? They're good, though. Yeah. These boys can play. I never, I never know what they're doing. Damn, I got to get back into Al-J. dude, yeah. It's been a while.

I think I only know Breeze blocks. I don't know the other ones. Oh, dude, they're good. I kind of want Craig to sing all Jay and the Gus Johnson voice. I don't know why. How do you even do that? I don't know. I don't want to see it. That about Tom Brady. I can't sing it because I don't know what any of the lyrics. Hold up. Hold up. Wait, I'm going to Jay. What are the lyrics to Breeze blocks?

I've actually never even looked at this. Do you know where that want they grow? She may contain the urge to run. She may contain the urge. Don't run away, but the horn out die, we're going long and bring in blocks. I can't even read these words. Terezine, is that a drug? All you ever said are full stops.

Do you want to know where the wild things go? Do you want to know where the wild things go? That's the only one I, that's the only why I know. Do you know? The chorus is muscle to muscle and toe to toe. The fear has gripped me, but here I go. My heart sinks as I jump up. Da, da, da, da, da.

I know that part. Yeah, yeah. All right, goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fandul is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino LLC. Gambling problem. Call 1-800 gambler or visit fandul.com slash RG in Colorado,

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