The Ringer NFL Show - NFL Week 2 Start or Sit, Injury Updates, and Key Matchups

Episode Date: September 15, 2023

Sunday Scaries, the ‘Goodfellas’ Made Man Award, the “I Drink Your Milkshake” Award, the Heifetz Hex, the Hot Tub Club (a.k.a. the players with injury concerns), and a brand-new, revolutionary segment that will help you decide who to play each week (3:28). “You guys want to do some emails?” (50:07) Check out our Week 2 Fantasy Football Rankings for positional rankings, waiver wire pickups, and much more! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, this is Jason Gough from the full go podcast. Me and the crew, we like to entertain you. And we're going to do more of that this football season because the bears should be more intriguing. There should be more fascination. Justin Fields. Is this the make or break gear? Is DJ Moore the piece that's going to put them over the top?

You can catch us on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, or when we have an emergency podcast when we have breaking news. Make sure you follow the full go on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. The ringer fantasy football show. My name is Danny Hyfordson and I. By Danny Kelly and Craig Rolbeck and our teams cannot possibly do worse than they did last week, right, Craig? Right. When you're at rock bottom, the only way to go is up.

So I feel pretty good. Can't be worse. Rock bottom. Well, or could you just drill through the earth and try to come out on the other side? Yeah, let me be clear. You can absolutely be worse. The Steelers can be worse. And if you repeat week one again, that's worse.

So I'm fully prepared for another disaster this week. I don't know how you guys feel. I'll tell you where we're at. If the Giants list of the Cardinals this week, we got an email and someone said, I think his name is, I honestly, I blacked out. I don't remember the name. I just remember one sentence,

which was, The Giants should trade Daniel Jones for Aaron Rogers. And I just like, I just like woke up four hours later. Whoa. And he was like, Giants get to rebuild. Jets win the Super Bowl with Danny Dimes.

And I just woke up, and I was just like, where am I? So anyway, that's where I'm at. Please beat the Cardinals Giants. All right. We're going to get to week two and everything. If you're wondering who to start who sit in your lineups, we have our weekly starts at rankings. You're at fantasy football dot ringer.com.

Our rankings are free. They're beautiful and they're perfect. They're all actually correct. Link in the bio. You can look at the rankings on your phone. Link in the bio. And if it's really, really difficult for you to make a decision, you can use the magic ringer eight ball and let the universe decide for you. It's amazing.

I guess it's not the bio. This is not an Instagram page. It's the description of the podcast. The link is in the description of the podcast. You can also follow us on Twitter. I'm at Danny underscore Hyfe. It's D.K.'s Danny B. Kelly, Craig's Craig Holarbeck.

I just said your name wrong. It was weird. Craig Horlebeck. That would be really easy for people to spell. That's how DECIS is Romney with Dobs. If you pronounce it correctly. I know. All right.

And also, emails to ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. Trivia questions that end in a number. Fantasy court cases when you're arguing dumb stuff with your friends, anything you want. Honestly, Chloe's Box. I don't care. All right. Week two. Week one.

Yeah. Just weird stuff happens. And we never know what's a trend. What's an anomaly? To tell you the truth, generally speaking, you can. you kind of know everything you need to know about the season by the end of week two. Like it really is fascinating. Like, it's true though.

If you actually go back and look at past seasons, you almost always kind of see what you need to see two weeks in. So week one, sloppy as hell. Fewest pass yards and touchdown passes in week one since like 2006. Shut up, Rick Pryor, Free Span. Lowest EPA per play since like 2001. And the fewest yards per attempt in week one since 1996.

Yeah, no deep passing at all anymore. It's just great. Love it. Super fun. Dinkin and Dunking. So I think it's just going to be a general theme of just like, does this guy suck or it'll be fine this week? That's kind of the whole episode. But start with Sunday scaries. We're going to go through like must starts and matchups and everything. We're just going to general vibe check heading in the weekend. I would like to start with the Sunday scary of all Sunday scaries. I think it's just a scary. It's going to be Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

Just every day is going to be scary. Poor Jets fans. Dude, Zach Wilson starting for the New York Jets. It's bad enough Aaron Rogers Tours Achilles at this season. That's horrific. Zach Wilson replacing Aaron Rogers. That's disgusting. Zach Wilson's first start this season being against the Dallas Cowboys who just beat the Giants 40 to nothing.

Just like a tennis score. Pass rush of all time. Just absolutely pressuring the power. Not even at home too. They did it in New Jersey. Now they're in Dallas. And I've been thinking about how the Jets are just insisting Zach Wilson's our starter.

He's going to be our guy. And D.K. brought up Eastern Promises, the movie where they basically promote Vigo Mortensen to the Russian mafia. And then it turns out they actually want him to get murdered and be the fall guy. Well, yeah, because he's supposed to take the place of the Russian mafia, like, godfather's son who these people are trying to kill. So he basically sets up Vigo Mortensen, who, by the way, is a undercover KGB agent. I watched that movie the other day. It's actually a great movie. Insane.

The fight scene is the craziest thing I've ever seen. The bathhouse fight scene, which is the, you know, comparison we're having here for Zach Wilson playing the Cowboys is like one of the most brutal fucking fight scenes I've ever seen. Vigo Mortensen's just butt naked the whole time. It's like flopping around the whole time. Wow. It's kind of the most insane.

Hi, Fitz, did you watch the movie or just the scene? I just watched the scene on YouTube and let me tell you something. I don't think anyone's supposed to watch that in the morning before you've had coffee. That was, that was insane. But it's crazy. he's being, but Zach Wilson being, it's like Goodfellas where it's, you know, he walks in and think he's going to get a promotion

and he shot in the back of the head. Zach Wilson would be like, yeah, here are guys, Zach. And meanwhile, just throwing him to the freaking Cowboys. I have never spent more time looking up prop bets on a week two game in my life. Can I take you through some of the over under, like for this Cowboys game? Sure.

I want to know what you guys think. Cowboys are giving nine and a half points. Give me that. Yeah. Yeah. Dallas defense's first touchdown score 20 to 1. That's a good one. Dallas defense.

He's going to for sure and get a sack fumble within like the first three plays. Dallas defense to score two touchdowns is 33 to 1. Zach, he's over under for passing or it's is 174. Oh, that's a nice one. Feels high. And then the over under on Jets points is 13 and a half. Do you guys, I was thinking about this the other day when, when,

when Aaron Rogers got hurt within four plays of the beginning of the season, what do you think Zach Wilson in his heart of hearts what his reaction was? Was he probably just like, God fucking damn.

Yes. You got to be fucking kidding me. It was truly like, fuck me. I finally accepted who I was. I'm a backup quarterback in the NFL and I could chill, learn from Aaron Rogers,

maybe down the road, I'm a starter again. Yeah. But I'm going to chill this year as truly how I thought he felt. He did win the game, the way. He won the game.

They won despite him. The team won. Nate Hackett told him to run the ball. He decided to throw it. He threw a pick that Garrett Wilson functionally intercepted. Right. But wait, you know what? You know how Zach Wilson and Rogers were all buddy, buddy?

I kind of think it's like Jonah Hill and this is the end. Like Rogers got hurt, but Zach Wilson's there praying like, hey God, it's me, Jonah Hill from Moneyball. You know what I mean? Like it's, hey, like, Rogers got hurt. And Zach was just like, hey, God. Thanks, man. Zach Wilson. I think he didn't want to play.

I think he's like, ah, this sucks. 100%. I'd love to talk to a backup quarterback and be like, do you secretly, like, if you know you're not a starting caliber quarterback, do you kind of love being a backup and not playing? I feel like you do. Is that ignorant of me? Like if we're getting realistic here, like, you have to,

to be in the NFL, I think you have to be like, you know, to get into the NFL as a quarterback alone, like you have to be like the best athlete your high school's ever produced. Like a lot of the times these guys are completely insane. like God complex. They think they're the like the best things since I like spread all that stuff. But that being said like so generally speaking,

I think most backups want to get in. I think with Zach Wilson in particular, like his confidence, you could tell his confidence was completely shot last year. And he, I think if I if he was being totally honest, which he will never be in the media, but if he was being totally honest,

he's probably like, I really just wanted this year to like not be the starter. And like, it was a side of relief, I bet. Yeah, like for real. Because like, man, he,

is hard on Zach Wilson for sure. Well, Zach Wilson's hard on everyone to watch. But ESPN weirdly did its entire story about being a backup quarterback this week, like Jenna Lane wrote it for ESPN. And JTO Sullivan, who's a great YouTube channel, had a quote that said,

it's not literally what Dick was saying. It's not necessarily easy for a lot of guys who come in as the alpha of their whole lives to then be a backup. The transition out playing is tough. I died a little every Sunday I didn't play. Yeah. All right. I think when you're at that level,

at the NFL level, like these guys are. are different from a like a mental point of view, like confidence alpha like you were talking about. I mean, I fully, I mean, every athlete, if you're a professional athlete, you are built different mentally as much as you are physically. What is that line high face?

Like you either think you can beat God or you are God. Everyone is like Dionne Waiters where you think you should be shooting 25 times a game. Like everybody believes. Yeah, you have to believe. Yeah. So here's my question. If you have Garrett Wilson, you have to play Garrett Wilson. I mean, I feel bad for you if you have Garrett Wilson,

but you probably don't have three players better than Garrett Wilson. I mean, you like, this is one of those situations. where you probably need to play him. But if you look at the numbers for Garrett Wilson with Zach Wilson last year, it was like really bad. It was really, really bad. Like the offense in general,

when Zach Wilson was a quarterback compared to any other quarterback, the Jets had out there, was like complete night and day. Like the Jets offense was one of the best offenses in terms of yards per game and all that with Mike White and Joe Flacco. And then it was one of the worst in an entire NFL

with Zach Wilson under center. So it's one of the worst situations to be in as a fan of you manager. You're essentially like duct taped and tied to a chair and you can't scream. And you're just like, I wish I could get help, but I can't. I have to start, I have to start Garrett Wilson despite the fact that I know he's going to be terrible, but I have to.

His touchdown was really awesome, though. They should just throw to him like 18 times a game. They should just run the ball and throw it to Garrett Wilson. That should be the only strategy. Honestly, dude, the Garrett Wilson should just play freaking quarterback. Like, I swear to God. DK, what's your Sunday scary this week? So the Seahawks don't have either.

of their starting offensive tackles. And this was a big part of the reason why last week they had 12 yards from scrimmage after halftime, which is like, I think that all-tie low under Pete Carroll. They couldn't do anything. They couldn't get anything done either on the ground or in the passing game. You know, and honestly, and they signed 41-year-old Jason Peters. Heifitz, you made the joke. Signing Jason Peters is like in old school like, you're my boy, Blue.

I get this like freaking 80 year old guy dude Jason Peters is 41 years old he's been playing in the NFL for 20 years dude he the one of the the reporters asked him

why he wanted to come back and play in the NFL and he was like I don't know 20 sounds better than 19 doesn't it in terms of the years that he's been in the NFL like buddy this makes me worried

that you just wait why he's still playing man what year was Jason Peters drafted. I don't know. Probably. He's been in forever. Like, I want to say he didn't even come into the NFL as a tackle.

Oh, he was undrafted. Yeah. Yeah. He went in 1982. My God. My year, baby. So that's worrisome. The funny thing is, he's not even going to play in this game probably because

he said, when I asked if he could play this week, he goes, maybe this Sunday, maybe a couple weeks. I just got to get a feel for the pads. I haven't had them on. He's just going to shop around. He hasn't had pads on since January. This worries me. The Seahawks offense is already crumbling, it feels like.

What the fuck? We're so excited about this year. Like, the Seahawks could have one of the better offenses in the NFL, and it's already falling apart one weekend. Craig, where were you in 2004? I was in third or fourth grade. Jason Peters is in the NFL. That's incredible.

Learning about George Washington, probably. I don't know what you do in third grade. Kai just texted. I was five years. old. Anyway, rich rebord, sharp football. Moving on.

Rich Rebarred sharp football. Before you two tackles got her decay, Gina Smith had 100 passing yards. After that, he had 12. And then after that, he had 50% of his dropbacks were pressures. It was terrible. We also, we never talked about

Gino Smith getting like bum rushed by Aaron Donald and yelling, oh my God. And then throwing the ball away. I very rarely, very rarely, watch an NFL play and think that's exactly what I would have done. It was like knee jerky.

That was like pure. He's like, oh my God. The fighter flight kicked in, you know? It was like that was just instinct. You know what's funny about that? Oh my God.

I feel like I can't ever formulate words when I'm that afraid. I was shocked that he was able to like say words and didn't just like scream. The fact that he like formulated a sentence and said, oh my God, in the middle of a play is crazy. I just, I just made my dog George bark downstairs because I was screaming. Oh my God.

Oh, my God. That's like he walked downstairs and someone's like standing right around the corner. Oh, my God. It's like if you weren't watching Monday and football and you have Garrett Wilson in your fantasy team, but you check the box score and you see Zach Wilson's throwing a pass. Like, oh my God. Oh, my God. He got a oh my God out.

I love that. I just, I can't believe like like during an actual full. football play as a quarterback. He could formulate a sentence. That's crazy. Oh, my God. Can you think of anyone that's like not like, scarier than Aaron Donald running at you?

Because earlier in the game, honestly, Aaron Donald, like, came up and right in his face and just like, whammed him right in the face with both of his arms. He drew a penalty on it. But Aaron Donald is not afraid to, Ram's friends are going to hate me for this. He's not afraid to get a little dirty. Oh, he's a pretty, he's a dirty player.

He's up there with the Damakun Su. I mean, So I don't really blame. You can't be a Hall of Fame defense. Every Hall of Fame defensive tackle ever has been dirty. Yeah. That's just you can't do without. But that's why the Aaron Donald,

don't forget, that's why one of the wildest moments I've ever seen the NFL was the game where Alex Smith came back. And everyone's like, wow, Alex, you did it. That's so cool. But it was like watching it was kind of like weird.

And we're like, just hope nothing bad happens. And then Aaron Donald is immediately on his back. And they're like, ah! That's like, Madison when he's like playing basketball against all the second graders and he's just swatting kids and doesn't give a fuck. All right, Craig. What's your Sunday scary?

Mine's Kenny Pickett, man. I really feel like Monday night football is a fork in the road moment for Kenny Pickett. This is a national stage. He just came off a horrible game. There was all this preseason buzz. This is his 14th game as a starter. So he's coming up on one full season as a starter. And they're in Cleveland.

Cleveland's another really good defense. And if he shits the bed, dramatically again, I think there's going to be a lot of people who kind of officially give up on Kenny Pickett. And I'm nervous. I'm genuinely nervous. This feels like an inflection point for Pickett.

I mean, the Browns just destroyed Joe Burrow. And I'm, I'm nervous that Pickett will be able to prove that he's an NFL caliber quarterback. I think a lot of people are going to decide on Monday night whether or not

they are officially in or out. Including George Pickens. Including George Pickens. I think maybe was out last week. He might hate Pickett for all. all we do. I know. It's like, I don't want this to be an Alan Robinson, Mitch Trubisky, or an Alan Robinson Blake Bortle's situation, but we're close. And that's why it's like, Pickett needs to get it together soon. And on the national stage here, I'm just kind of worried.

The Steelers have been so bad. I saw a stat. The Steelers have not reached 400 yards on offense in 49 straight regular season games. Good God. 400 yards of offense. 49 regular season games. The next closest team is Arizona at 16. The Steelers are 49. Jesus. Yes, I'm very nervous for Pickett because I genuinely want him to be good enough to at least be considered a potential starter for, like, his rookie contract. And I think this game will be a referendum on Pickett. Also, just Brass Tech, you're starting in the AFC North. Or not, I'm not even the 49 to start, but A's 0 and 2.

Like, you're starting 0 in the season. You're losing the Browns immediately. All these AFC North games matter. So, yeah, like, what are the stats on teams that start O and 2? It's like, very different to playoffs. Very few. are from a 16 game season. So, but I think it's like 11%

if you start 0 and 2. And like, that's high. Because the Bengals did it last year and then made the AFC championship. All right, let's keep going here. Craig, you got a little, we had a new segment idea. We wanted to kind of do something creative.

You know, we have a lot of calls trying to think of fun new ideas. And we wanted to talk about players that were on the fence on for this week, how to discuss them, guys who might be injured, guys who might be coming off bad weeks and whether or not, you know,

you should play them or not. So we came up with something called, we're going to try it out this week. Start Sit. Dude, this is ingenious. Wow. Alliteration. Alliteration plays.

Good SEO. It's easy to remember. So we're going to test it out, and we'll see if it sticks. Email us if you liked the segment. Bringer Fantasy Football at Gmail.com. We were also discussing player bench, but we thought StartSit had better, you know, just rolled off the ton. So anyway, if anybody wants to sponsor, start, or sit, let us know.

a lot of opportunities there kind of getting at the ground floor. But the first team, there's a lot of starts that options, honestly sticking with Monday Night Football Brown Steelers with the Steelers because the offense was a disaster. Nobody was playable.

The best player in the team fantasy-wise was Alan Robinson last week. Good guy. And now, so it's like, you start with Najee Harris, right? I kind of lean towards sitting him, to be honest. He basically played half the snaps.

Jalen Warren, the backup running back, played 40% of the snaps. They each had eight touches, Warren is now more involved in the passing game than Najee Harris was according to last week. You know, the Niners D was amazing. The Browns D is still good. The Bengals ran a little bit on them last week,

but I'm like, man, if this game gets out of hand again, Najee Harris is not going to be on the field a lot. I don't love him in general. I think Najee Harris is, we're inching closer to determining and declaring that Najee Harris is a bust. Sadly, if Jalen Warren is really starting to sneak in in and steal his carries. but like, look, the way I see starts it is it's like getting a shitty meal from a restaurant you love, right?

And it's that versus getting a shitty meal from a new restaurant. You have complete different expectations going in. It's what defines the performance. So it's like if I have a shitty meal from in and out, I'm just going to write that off. I'll go back the next week and I won't think anything of it. If I go to Burger King or if I go to a restaurant I've never been to before and I get diarrhea or food poisoning, I'm never going back. And to me, my expectations are already low with Najee Harris. So if he gives me nothing, I'm not really going to go back to the well.

until he performs well. So I think I'm actually like leaning towards sitting Najee Harris despite his like popularity. Yeah. I always feel like one of the leading indicators for start sit stuff like discussions in the week is who are people trying to trade to you during the week? Yeah. And I got I got several trade offers for Najee Harris.

I feel like the rats are jumping ship at this point. Like once you get like the, you know, his rookie year, he was the top 10 guy. Yeah. I got multiple Nashi offers this week and I'm like, there's something going on here. Like, I don't know if I am into this. So yes, I agree with this one. Obviously, it depends on your team. But if you want to sit in, I think if you want to sit him, it's defensible for sure.

It's just don't look at his name. Just look at what happened. You know what I mean? And look at how they're splitting reps and everything, how this offense is running. And I think like most indications would be like, yeah, you probably shouldn't be starting this guy. He gave you diarrhea last week. Why are you going back to the restaurant? Don't go back.

Hi Fitz, what are the, what are the, what are the, what are the, what are the pills that you take when you're, uh, lactose intolerant? Oh, yeah, my lactate pills. You're going to start him, at least take some lactate, you know. I can't. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means in fantasy. The other Steeler guys here, I think Pickens, you got to start. I think that's pretty obvious.

Look, if Kenny Pickett is smart, he's going to throw George Pickens a lot. He's easily the most talented passcats around the team. So I'm hoping he gets 10 plus targets. They use him downfield all over. the place. You got to start him. I like him more than guys like Michael Pittman, Terry McLaren, this week. Deontay Johnson is out with a hamstring injury for people who don't know that. How far we have come, because one, you're saying Pickens over McLaurin, and now I would, well, actually not this week for McLaurin, but even I would play Pitman over Pickens. Oh, my God.

I think Pickens is better than Michael Pittman straight up, and I think the quarterback situations are pretty comparable. So, and I think picket's a better passer. Fantasyfoolball.3.com. We have Michael Pittman 91st and George Pickens, 92nd. Which, Spoiler alert. When two players are back to back, we have no idea who's going to do better. No clue.

Moving on, Pat Friermuth, you got to start him. Tight end is bleak, desolate wasteland. And if he plays, you know, he's probably a good bet

to maybe lead the team in targets this week, maybe, you know, catch a touchdown. And then Alan Robinson, low-key, ran around on 96% of the team's dropbacks after Deontae Johnson got hurt.

This guy's going to play a lot. He's a vet. He led the team in yards last week. If you need a, a flex and you don't have anybody, I kind of like Alan Robinson. This is a week eight-ass conversation we're having a week two. I'm telling you, Alan Robinson is going to play the entire game and get eight targets.

You're not wrong. It's just if I had told you like 10 days ago, we'd be like talking about Alan Robinson in the flex in week two, we'd be like, oh my God. Like, was there like a disaster? Look, dude, the vibes aren't great. Right. Well, we start to stay in the AFC North, bad vibes. Joe Burrow had 82 passing yards last week. I think that was like, like, Navy had like twice.

that last week. So that's bad. Not really. That'd be impossible. But you know what I'm saying? Fives wise. You get it. But Joe Burrow is going to bounce back.

You have to play him. Obviously, T. Higgins, you have to play him. They're playing the Ravens. They're playing the Ravens. It's tough. The Ravens who do always hold Burrow. And then also, Solic had a good column this week on the ringer, whereas the bagels ran 96% of their plays from shotgun.

What the hell is up with that? And so basically. You didn't get protecting their car. Probably. Well, that's, I think that's, was a really good question that select pose, which is like, is that something you would do if Burrow was completely healthy? Like, kind of weird to run 52 of 54 plays out of shotgun. That's kind of odd. So I think Burrow will be better, but if he's not, you have to play him.

But if he sucks again this week, suddenly I'm kind of like, all right, what's up in Cincinnati? But you're playing Burrow and Higgins. And then again, while we're in the AFC North, the Bengals were playing the Ravens. The Ravens also suck last week. And the good news is the Ravens are actually running the modern offense. You're talking about how the Ravens just have ignored they're like the Amish of the NFL. Like they ignored modernity and never did three receivers. And then like they had 150 snaps

all of last season where they had three receivers on the field. They had 40 just last week. So they're like a third of the way already on three receiver snaps. They're a third of the way to the entire total last year. The flip side is they're already so hurt.

What is with this team? Why can't they stay healthy? What is going on? Jackie Dobbins. Achilles out for the season. Mark Angers is the tight end. we don't know if he's going to play. Left tackle Ronnie Stanley is week to week. Senator Tyler Linderbaum sprained his ankle. He's week to week. Marlon Humphrey, the cornerback was

already out. Marcus Williams, his safety is a pictorial injury. That is the Ravens have lost six starters. We are six percent of the way through the season. This team is so freaking curse. This is like the AFC West all over again. We thought the AFC North who's going to be the best division this year. Like the AFC West was supposed to be the best last year. We're two weeks, we're a week or two in. And we're like, dude, this division might suck. I'm very curious what's going to happen with the Ravens this week because you know how I railed? And it's a totally different situation

because the Ravens were winning basically the entire game. So that is a built-in excuse for why they did it this way. Hey, it was close at halftime. Wasn't it like 9-6 at half time? It was a closer game throughout the whole game than the final score would indicate. Yes, but they were leading almost the entire game, I believe. Yeah, yeah.

But they only had Lamar Jackson run one design run, according to True Media. One design run for Lamar Jackson? Like, is this a whole new sea change where they're just like not going to have him involved in the running game at all? Or was this just a game script-dependent thing? He's rusty.

Let's just like take care of the football. Blah, blah, blah. You know, like, I don't know what the, what the offensive coordinator here, Todd Munkin is thinking. But, man, if they don't run with Lamar Jackson, this changes everything in terms of like our fantasy projection. I don't know if you looked like himself. It was weird.

I don't know. We'll see what happens. Well, he definitely came out and tweeted after the game that he was rusty. So I know. I just, this is another thing like Craig where you're talking about like this might be a fork in the road. If they don't run him in this week, I'm going to start panicking about my Lamar Jackson,

you know, hype during the off season. Because, man, the reason he's so has that upside is because of what he does as a runner. And if they're not going to run him, like, what are we doing here? All right.

So while we're talking about other starts sick guys, Terry McLaurin, who we had a very large argument about last week, um, did have a great week one. And we do have him behind Pickens, as Craig was saying. And I think this week,

I think he's a bench again. Just because one, I still think the turf toes there. But more importantly, um, he's going to be shadowed, Pat Sartan of the Broncos this week. Washington's playing the Broncos.

I don't love the match up. Nate Tice, who's the man, wrote a great column for Yahoo this week, where Nate knows a lot about football. Basically argued Pat Sertane might be the best cornerback in the NFL, and that Pat Sartan did an incredible job shattering Devante Adams last week. Yeah.

Like, the plays where Sertain was on Devante, Devante Adams caught like two catches for 11 yards. So two catches, and Pat Sartretaire batted away three passes. So that's crazy. And then meanwhile, John Doeck. Dotson's going to be in the slot, and he gets D'Marie Mathis, who's the cornerback. And Damari Mathis is the cornerback who allowed Jacoby Myers and the Raiders to get like 76 yards and two touchdowns for the first time in his career. So just common sense.

If you have Dotson, play Dotson. And if you have McLaurin, I would sit McLaurin being shadowed against Pats for Tatea. Yeah, it's a tough match. So R.P. Terry McLaurin. I think it's like, this is one of those things where I think cornerback receiver matchups can get overrated sometimes because the receivers aren't always lining up against the same corner on every play. most of the time. Sometimes those corners will follow a guy throughout the whole game.

But in this case, with like Pat Sertan across the room, that's like pretty scary to me. There's only like three cornerbacks that actually shadow, true shadow. And then there's only so many receivers that,

and the McLaurin actually does line up nine out of every 10 things on the outside. And that's what got shadow. So yeah, it's RAP to Terry McLaurin for this week. But that also makes him probably a by-low next.

Craig, give us another start sit among all the receivers that we drafted and we're kind of sad about. Yeah, I'm moving on to Falcons Packers, which is an interesting game because I feel like both teams

had offenses that we were kind of like we didn't know what to expect. They both got wins but they both beat up on bad teams. So this week will be interesting to see like who comes out on top. I'm also obsessed with the Falcons. I just think that easily the most fascinating experiment going on the league. They're fucking hilarious. I like your theory

that Arthur Smith's a billionaire who just was like betting his friends. I bet if I just took over a team, what if I just took over a team and didn't play the good players? It's like trading places like the two old guys being like, What are we just swap these, like, a homeless guy with, like, our head of finance and see if it worked? There's a chance that Arthur Smith is just one of two guys in trading places. Oh, my God.

So yeah, Drake London, dude, you're sitting him. I'm sorry. You're sitting him until you see signs of life. This guy has no pulse right now. He had one target. I don't know what you want me to say. Desmond Ritter doesn't throw to his wide receivers at all. 23% of his passes went to wide receivers.

Like, I'm out. Do you guys disagree? No. No. I drink Lemon's a car. You drove off the lot and you didn't even get home. And you're like, I think this is a lemon. You're lucky if you can get 50% back.

Another stat from Scott Barrett from Fantasy Points. Ritter last week threw for 58 air yards. 58 air yards, which was slightly less than Steelers tight end three slash utility man, Connor Hayward. Wait, that's a Cam Hayward's brother? Yes, it is. Yeah, like, that was 51st among all pass catchers last week. That's how many air yards Ritter threw for. And it was all basically in one pass.

He had one deep pass to Kyle Pitts. And everybody was like, yo, everybody was like, oh, Kyle Pitts, you know, he was first among tight ends and air yard percentage. Emphasis on percentage because it was only 49 air yards, which was terrible considering Ritter threw for 58 air yards in the entire game. So yeah, he had 90% of his air yards, but he threw for 58. Wait, you know what this is with Drake London?

This is when Joe buys the dove and then walks out and kills it by accident, opening the door because he thinks it's a push. it's a pull. And he kills it. He's like, what's your return policy? It's like, we need warranties on fantasy players. Yeah. Well, I don't know what I was expecting.

With that said, I almost think you have to start. I mean, like, look, I don't know who you have on your team. But like, if the Falcons, look, they beat up on the Panthers who are not a good team. If they're down a touchdown or two, they're obviously, we think going to throw a little bit more. If you have like Luke Musgrave, part of me is like I understand starting Luke Muskrave. But if you have nobody in your shit Right, not Drake London anymore Yes, Kyle Pitts, sorry

I almost think you gotta start Kyle Pitts still This is why we recommended not drafting him Because you're sucked in Every time you have them When you have them, you have to play them So you might as well just not draft them But if you have them You probably got to play him this week

Kyle Pitts is like a time share It's like you shouldn't do it But then once you have it You're like well, how long you talk yourself into it I gotta go Yeah Yeah Time share

Why did I buy this? Yeah, he's like He's like a rewards program where it's like you got to use it to get the benefits. And it's like, well, I guess I'll start him again. Very specific time horizon. You have to take the certain airline. Oh, God. I guess I have to fly through Iowa to get to, you know, wherever.

And it's redeemable in week 14 when you've already missed the playoffs. It's free if I fly Spirit Airlines if I use my Chase Venture Capital card. So I guess I'm starting Kyle Pitts this week. So you could give us another start. while we're on an extremely depressing offenses. Justin Fields. What are we doing with Justin Fields? You know,

Craig mentioned the vibes being horrible for Pittsburgh right now. I don't know if there's a team in the NFL that I can remember over the last like five years that has worse vibes after one week than the Bears do right now. Like, I think Bears fans are truly panicking, at least based on what I'm seeing on Twitter. Like Justin Fields had a very rough first game. There's a lot of indication that like he was just holding onto the ball

when he should have been firing passes. into tight windows, even open windows. And basically, the sky is falling in Chicago right now. And I'm very nervous about Justin Fields and his future as an NFL starter. That being said, I still think I'm going to start him this week. Obviously, again, it depends on who you have. It depends on who's on the waiver wire or whatever. And if you're a two-quarterback league, I think you still got to start him.

Because, and this is crucial, he still, even though they only ran him two times on design runs, he's still scrambled seven times. And so he's such a, he is going to be a high volume scrambler because of how he plays football, how he drops back. He's a slow processor at this point in his career. He holds onto the ball too long,

and then he tucks and runs. That's like his deal. And that's why fans are so scared about him in terms of his long-term potential in the league. But because of his, you know, willingness and basically he's just like relying on scrambling so much, I think that still makes him viable in fantasy.

And if it can maybe give it more than two design runs this week, that gives them an upside too. I'd like to be sort of one of these week winners. So if the bears come to their senses, which that's a huge wild card, that's a huge question mark. But last year, over the last nine games, Justin Fields averaged nine rushes, sorry, eight rushes per game, design rushes per game. Two in week one. I think that goes up in week two. I hope it does or else.

I'm going to be very scared. So, D.K., I know this is a new segment we're playing and we're still getting our feet wet, but would you start or sit, Justin's good? Start him. I got to tell you something. All right. I have a big announcement. Okay.

Two things. I would actually consider benching Justin Fields. I'm not telling you to, but I'm telling you, I give you permission if you want to and I'm afraid to. And here's why. I'm going to introduce a new segment in the new segment, or it's really a segment we've done before. I'm going to, in honor of me cursing every one, I'm going to start doing a Costanza of the week. Because the hyphitz-X. The hyphid's hex.

The Kastanza like trademark. High-fits-ex. Every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite must be right. It's like tuna, chicken salad on rye. Cup of tea. So I'm going to just identify a game where every fiber of my being points somewhere. And I'll let me tell you, every fiber of my being tells me that the Buccaneer is going to win this game. For everything, Justin D.K said about fields, no design rushes.

The red zone offense makes no sense. Chase Claypool is like a human traffic cone. and then you've got like the Justin Fields this incredible stat from Brad Spielberg at PFF that Justin Fields had like 40 straight dropbacks like they're not even rolling them out in the pocket like you know what easy that makes it for the defense to just have one spot where he's going to be

instead of moving this dynamic athlete left it's like Brann in Game of Thrones it's like zigzag my guy like don't be predictable they're just like Justin Seals is the younger it was the younger brother Oh yeah not brand it was Rick on yeah it's like zigzag man what are you doing that's Justin Fields straight dropback every time

And I look and I'm like, the Bucks, last time the Bucks played the Bears, or 2021, it was like Justin Fields' rookie year. He had six turnovers or like five. I think the Bears, you know how we talking about Zach Wilson earlier in the season or in the show doing like the whole Eastern Promises thing. I kind of think the Bears just want Justin Fields to fail. I just think they don't like him. I think they're like, we just want him to fail. So the fans aren't going to get mad at us when we bench him. And then we can move on with our lives.

Last time the Fields played the Bucks was 38 to 3. And the Bucks have seven of those defenders still on this team. So I'm looking. and then I'm like, Chase Claypool, what was that? Claypool, good God. Speaking of Claypool, man, I want to give a sub-award here. I want to do the Where Are They Now Award for guys still in the league. And I want to give it to Chase Claypool.

Chase Claypool, man, the shit that went down on Twitter with Chase Claypool Week 1 was one of the more pathetic, like, montages I've ever seen from a player. Chase Claypool basically gave up for 60 minutes on the field. He was like not blocking anybody. He was allowing screen passes to just get blown up behind him. he was barely running routes. He like tried to flop when a guy pushed him in between plays and fell down like a

Yeah, he looked like a polo stick falling down. Yeah. Like genuinely don't know what Chase Claypool is doing and it's so sad to see like just, I don't know where he's come. He's like Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. It's like, that kid was such a star. Whatever happened to him, you know?

Like Chase Claypool, he had like 900 yards. Oh, he was like a child touchdowns? Yeah, he is. They always do those where are they now? It's like, where is the kid from Spy Kid? now. Fun fact, he's married to singer Megan Trainor. What? What? Yeah, yeah.

Spike Kid kid. Yeah, Spike Kid. Is he married to Megan Traynor? He must be great. I don't know. But yeah, I'm just like, I can't believe this is where Chase Claypool is now. Did you guys know that he trademarked the name MapleTron in March 22? Oh, no. That's so sad. That was the downfall. Anytime

an athlete trademarked something, it's like, oh, God, it's going down. Since he trademarked MapleTron, he has, is the wide receiver 100 in points per game behind Noah Brown, Chris Moore, Marquis Goodwin, and Trenton Irwin. He has one touchdown since March of 2022. And he has one game with more than 52 receiving yards.

Hyphids, your life is at stake here. What team is Chris Moore on? Chris Moore, I was just looking this up because Chris Moore is on the Titans. Oh, my God, I got it. I'm alive. I think so. He's on the Titans, right? tell me.

I don't know. Yeah. Oh, thank God. Yeah. Trenton Irwin. Behind Trenton Irwin? There's no, look, there's no way the Bears could win this game. The Bears have the worst defensive line.

I'm looking at this. Here's the thing. The line in this game is the bucks are giving two and a half. The opening line is three. I'm like, this is going to move to five. It went down to two and a half. Every fiber of my being is like box minus two and a half lock of the century. Costanza, Bears are going to win this game.

I like that. Everyone should bet on the bears because I genuinely don't understand how the line is two and a half. There's no possible way. Bucks is free money. So just bet on the bears. I'm just going to say it one more time

and get it out of my system. By the way, and I'm not even really trying to defend Justin Fields. Like, I've kind of given up hope that he's going to be good at this point. But I really do think the bears just want him to fail so they can move on.

It's like when you want, like you want to break up with somebody but you don't know how to do it. So you just start to act like an asshole until they break up with you. Yeah. They just want him to request a trade. And they'll be like,

Okay. See later. Fine. If it's your decision, Justin. Wow. That's, geez. That's incredible. Get ready for the NFL season with incredible offers from Fandall America's number one sports book. Right now, new customers can bet $5 and get $200 in bonus bets guaranteed. Plus all customers who bet $5 to get $100 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV. Look, Fandle Jets, Zach Wilson starting versus the Cowboys.

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I just like the I drink your milkshake, but just the Niners are playing the Rams this week. I just can't believe Kyle Shannon's 8-1 versus Sean McVeigh since 2019. Oh my God. This is another good Costanza. What if the Rams beat the Niners? That is a good Costanza. Everything is pointing for the 49ers to win.

The Rams look good last week, though. That's the problem. The Rams looked terrible last week. It'd be a good Costanza. Now there's a little doubt. The Cassanza is the Jets are going to beat the Cowboys. That is a good one. They just meet the bills.

Anything is possible. That is the Cassanza the week, Craig. I might just put five bucks on that possible thing. You know why? That's also the best. If there is a script, best possible thing for, Can you imagine Stephen A. Smith walking into ESPN the day after the Cowboys loses Zach Wilson. Can you imagine? That would be like the greatest day of sports content I've ever seen.

While we're, again, just the theme here for people who weren't good last week. Speaking of that game, I would like to give out the, um, Kenny the Golden Retriever award to Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills. And here's what I mean. I was watching my friend's dog a couple weeks. So shout out to Nebs and Sydney. We love you guys. We love Kenny. Jack and I were watching Kenny. He's an adorable golden retriever. I love this name. It's like 10 months old. He's a puppy. He's been. big boy. Kenny the dog. I know.

We watched him for five days while they were at a wedding on the West Coast. And the timing was horrible. The dog had like explosive diarrhea. As soon as we took him in. On an airplane. I was at a fantasy. Yeah, exactly. I was at a fantasy draft.

And the dog diarrhea had all over a white carpet. It was an actual nightmare. And so we have this like explosive. Like D.K. has not had it in 371 episodes. So you fucking asshole We were like Hold on here Did the dog eat something weird

Like did he have too much peanut butter Like is he just one off Or is this like Needed some lack of separation anxiety Is he sick? And I realize this is the question to have About Josh Allen Josh Allen basically just had explosive diarrhea

All over the field On Monday night's football Maybe he just had some bad clams You know And he'll be right as rain next week That's what I'm wondering though Is it just like He's allergic to this thing

he's allergic to the Jets. Like Josh Allen is like 12 and 2 against the entire NFL in the regular season last year, and he's 1 and 2 against the Jets. Like Josh, if you look at EPA per play against not the Jets, Josh Allen's third behind Mahomes and Tua. And if you look at his EPA per play against the Jets, he's like 33rd next to Zach Wilson. Like the Jets turned him into Zach Wilson.

Like, hey, maybe he's just allergic. Or is it separation anxiety? Because Brian Dable's gone and now he basically is average. like his 38 picks and fumbles combined in 19 games without Brian Dobble. 38. That's to a game. Is there, is he sick? Do we need to take him to the vet? Is he sick? He's just saying wrong with Josh out? I don't know. That's what I'm wondering. He's dating a celebrity now? Never a good sign. Preoccupied. Are they still together? Haley Seinfeld? Are they not together anymore? I don't know.

I thought they were still together. Google it. Never a good sign. Hit the Goopied. Going on Hollywood parties. Is it an overreaction, though, to wonder is. like if Josh Allen is like sick. Like is there something wrong with him? When you started the dog metaphor, I thought you were just going to say he got the zoomies. It looked like he had the zoomies to me.

He was just running around like no direction, running into shit. He did like, he almost did a buttfall. Did you see that Mark Sanchez tweeted about this? He had, he like ran into his own lineman and dropped the ball. Because he like,

every day Mark Sanchez. He started running without looking. Every day Mark Sanchez wakes up and he's like, please God let somebody commit a butt fumble. I wrote a 10 year anniversary story of the butt fumble, which you can go just Google butt fumble the ring or hyphetson,

you know, hopefully that's the first. And I tried so hard to get Mark Sanchez for that story. And I could not. He like, he's like, I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want to talk about it. Do you know I emailed Fireman Ed? And I would ask him, Fireman Ed, wait, do you know what Fireman Ed said? Yes. Wait, did I ever tell you guys what Fire.

I want to pull up that he responded. It was so funny. I asked Fireman Ed like, hey, because Farman Ed quit after that season. Like he's, stop being fireman ed. He's like, I can't take this anymore. Because of the butt fumble. Because of the butt fumble.

So I emailed him and I'm like, do you want to talk? And he said, no thank you. Think it is for the haters of the Jets organization that like to bring it up. Mark did a lot great things to this organization. I'll pass. And then he wrote G-O-O-O-O-J-E-T-S. He wrote like J-E with like all the T's and all those. He didn't fall for your trap. No.

East Coast fandom is just different than West Coast. Like, there's nobody like, there's, if you have to stay up so late to watch the teams. Yeah. You're just like, you're, it's snowing for like five months of the year. The West Coast, you're all summer children. You're all just like, sweet summer child. Sweet summer children, a lot of you.

Yeah. I love it. It's sunny and beautiful and we're going to the beach. We were in the live show in D.C. It was like, oh, how do you live here? No, that was me. It's not the temperature I was upset about. First of all, it was not 81.

It was 95. And the humidity was also 90. Yes, it was not the temperature. It was the fucking wet air. Fucking hyphenqueting my skin. Just lying. Greater than Marx. Don't act like you didn't like L.A.

You didn't have fun in Ohio? You didn't think it was nice? You ever been to Santa Barbara? The thing no one talks about with L.A. is that you can't see the sky for like June. And everyone's like, yeah, it's because of the smog. You don't know that? It's also from the marine layer because we're so close to the ocean.

It's smog from the cars trapped in the marine layer. Yeah, right. New York City's. just a beacon of healthy environment. Can see the sky in the summer. Through the sky, keep going. Admittedly, there's a lot of trash and rats. I won't contest that one.

You know where you can't see the sky when you're 30 feet underground in 110 degree heat stuck on a subway with 100 other people? Super healthy. I can I defend the subway in New York. Wait, can I do, wait. I feel like going back to the dog analogy

for Josh Allen, D.K., when you said he had the zoomies, it also made me think, like, you know, when you come home, like you go to the grocery store, you come home, and your dog treats you like he hasn't seen you in five years. Yeah, yeah. Maybe that was Josh Allen. He was just so excited to play football week one. He just, like, couldn't contain himself.

Yeah, just a little bit of pee. A little bit of pee. He played like a maniac in a good way. But also, all kind of a bad way. Let's be honest. Fun to watch, though. You know what's funny also is all these guys, you know, as they get older, like Lamar Jackson,

all these running quarterbacks, Jalen Hertz, who got like big contracts or whatever. Jalen Hertz didn't run as much and was also like sliding a lot, more. Lamar Jackson, one designed run. Josh Allen, dude, still just absolutely sending it. Like, just lowering his shoulder

does not need to be able. It was like 13, and he got tackled like six yards into his run. It was like fighting to get an extra yard, even though it didn't matter. There was one where he tried to jump over. He was surrounded on three sides by defenders. And he tried to hurdle a guy, and

he got like upended and fell on his head. Like, buddy. And he wasn't close to the first down. Chill. Daddy, chill. I think in another life, Josh Allen could have been on jackass. Those are the only people comparable in terms of like,

I've never seen people with like less sense of self-preservation than Josh Allen. Do you guys remember that outfielder, he played for the A's for a little bit? His name was Hunter. So, oh, Tori Hunter. No, not Tori Hunter. Well, he was a white guy and he used to just sprint into the outfield into the back wall. to like try and catch

Hunter Redmond's? Like fly balls. No, it was Hunter. Oh man, maybe it wasn't Hunter. It was a name like that. People would know he's a blonde white guy and he was always hurt because he would just sprint into the wall

going after fly balls and just would just disregard the health of his body completely. And that's how Josh Allen is. I'm going to find this guy. Hunter Pence. Hunter Pence. Hunter Pence. Wow. Yeah.

Absolute maniac in the outfield. Kamikaze out there. Hunter Pence is a great, it's a great like starting point for, let's just name random baseball players. Yeah, should we just, wait, do it quick. Quick interview. Mark Burley.

Juan Uribe. Tom's nice. Dude. Go, D.K. Brett Boone. Eric Gagne. Eric Gagne. Mark Ellis.

Oh, shit. I don't know. Scott Hattaberg. Scott Hattaberg. Paul Canerco. John Smoltz. That's a good one. Smoltz.

Emails at Ringer Fantasy Football and Chemell.com if you want to just name random baseball players. Please, it's my favorite thing in the world. Any other starts sick guys you want to talk about? Probably. Yeah, I'm sure there's a million of them. Christian Kirk, I would say, look, it was a tough week one. He plays in the slot.

They were up a lot so he wasn't playing. They're playing the Chiefs this week. I think Christian Kirk's going to be on the field a lot more. It's kind of like, it's going to be, it's recency bias is like the hardest thing to get over in fantasy, starting a guy who just had a like basically a goose egg but there's going to be a week

where he's going to bounce back it's this week in my opinion. Injuries, hot tub club, there's a lot of injuries. It's like Deontay Johnson's probably out like a few weeks that's for the Steelers that sucks. Aaron Jones, again,

we're recording this Thursday night, Thursday afternoon basically. So like you'll have to check injury updates for the Friday, what they do on Friday. Full practice on Friday is the best. But Aaron Jones has this hamstring, hopefully he's going to play

Christian Watson's saying, deal for the Packers, hopefully he's going to play. DeAndre Hopkins, apparently heard his ankle. call him like the last play of the game. So hopefully DeAndj Hopkins plays Travis Kelsey. Obviously he's playing, you're going to play him if he's there.

Jacoby Myers concussion protocol, Brandon Cook's Jets, defense, MCL strain and stuff. My only question, TK, Austin Echler, if he plays, obviously you're playing Austin Echler. My only real question, DK is if Austin Echler plays, would you still play Josh Kelly and maybe they give him more time? Like if you have added Josh Kelly and waivers, could they both be good, even if Echler's in? Yeah, I'm starting Josh Kelly regardless. I think obviously Josh Kelly gets a massive boost.

if Austin Echler is out. But I think either way, it's going to be such a rotation. It's really, it feels like they're doing the Zeke-Pollard thing, but like just maybe flipped a little bit so it's Pollard or,

you know, Zek is, or sorry, Echler is getting more play slightly. But they're definitely, they have like a rotation here. Josh Kelly had 16 carries. He was running routes.

He was getting targets in the passing game. He got a little bit of the goal line stuff. So they're definitely really doing a split here. And Osnickler was, you know, talking on his podcast, he does with Matt Harmon. and basically imploring people to add Josh Kelly.

So I think we should listen to him about that. That was funny. I watched that clip 30 times because it was so weird that, and I mean this complimentary, Austin Neckler just very dispassionately, like was like arguing, like, yeah,

handcuffed me in fantasy. You should totally have my backup. And he called himself like the so-called starter. And it was like, if you didn't know who Austin Echler was and didn't like know he what he looked like, you would never have known that Austin Echler was like talking about himself. It was such like sober fantasy analysis.

he's the opposite of Arthur Smith Austin Echler is the exact opposite of who Arthur Smith is as a human being and what he cares about and what he's interested in with the media do you think they did the trading places I'd love it if they should get them two on a pod together wait so is Echler a fantasy player who was like I could play running back

and then he swapped with Arthur Smith he's like well I'm 5-7 he's like I'll just get really ripped super athletic and I'll start on a team 31 arm pull-up should do that's crazy yeah All right. You guys want to do some emails?

Before we do the emails, even, we have to acknowledge the guy that there was the manhunt for in Pennsylvania. He was wearing an eagle sweatshirt. I'm unaware of this story. Yeah, I saw that. Oh, this was huge of the East Coast. This guy escaped, this guy escaped jail. And there was a massive manhunt for him.

And he was gone a long time. And when they found him, he was in an eagle sweatshirt. Like, he had stolen an eagle sweatshirt. I mean, that's the, that's a smart move, right? You want to blend in your surroundings. Yeah. Just saying go birds to everybody that walks by. It's incredible.

All right. Emails. This is from Jacob. Jacob. Well, we're talking about Hafeits cursing things. I just wanted to call out that the first thing I listened to the morning after the Jets game was your week one recap pod that you recorded before Monday at football where High Fitz had to mention that quote, there weren't any major injuries in week one. High Fitzhitz Hicks. Did you say that?

I mean, J.K. Dobbins tore his Achilles. No, he said it and he was like, well, I shouldn't say that. I did. I knocked on wood. I said it was like, nobody who matters. He just threw J.K. Dobbins under the bus. Whoops. Wow. I did say that, didn't I?

I also did say on the Friday pod that Rogers would get hurt and replaced by Zach Wilson immediately. So I'm a little worried. DK, 371 straight episodes on the diarrhea. All right. Speaking of Joshua. Josh. Josh. Joshy.

I was listening to the podcast on my evening walk before dinner. On my walk, I started to feel like I was going to shit myself. Luckily, there's a bathroom on a golf course near my walk. And as I'm shitting my brains out, Hifitz starts trying to summon exploding diarrhea out of Danny Kelly. It works. So I think that Hifitz maybe did knock down the head on the head on special powers. You missed me.

Hit this guy. What is the song, D.K. Misty Mountains, that, like, puts babies to sleep? Does our podcast induce diarrhea? there we go by the way somebody I saw I ran across this randomly on Instagram

somebody some woman was talking about on her Instagram thing about how Misty Mountains is this great way

of putting babies to sleep blah blah blah it had a hundred and 20,000 likes this is going national this is going global I will take it

okay let's get litigious this is bullshit stolen valor a lot of stolen I'm kidding. I mean, maybe she's had it on her own. Who knows?

120,000 likes. This is going crazy. It's going viral. I got to figure out how to make money on this. I can put your children to sleep. The funny thing is I didn't even find this. It was Skippy. I stole Skippy's valor.

It's simply too good. I've been taking credit for not for, I didn't even figure. this out. Skippy did. But that's okay. You're like Chase Claypool. You're going to file the trademark again. Be like your scoffice never get sleep.

Maple Tron. If your nickname is like an offshoot of another player's nickname, that's already a bad start. Should we start trademarking players nicknames before they can? Should we just file a clay? Save them from themselves.

Yeah. Trademark lawyers. Email us through fantasy football at gmail. Help us trade. We got to find a player's nickname that hasn't let Russ Cook. Just like got trademarked. And then he can have that.

No. It's a death now. the second you trademark your name, you're done. That's how we do the little non-s-x. Okay. Well, the rest of his life fell apart. What are we going to trademark? Normalize coming fast?

Just go to court, be like, we invented it. We're just trying to turn this. We sure is how normalized it. We turn this narrative around, baby. It's a good thing. Yeah. Got things to do in your life. I definitely didn't invent it.

This has been going on for millennia. This email's from Drew. Drew. Long time listener, first time caller. The awkward situation stories have been killing me and I have wanted to contribute. You guys see on the cake is this happened at the wedding of a current member of the chief's coaching staff. All right. My fiance was in the wedding.

So I attended the ceremony with the other plus ones of the wedding party. They're in line waiting for the guy. He's in line and he's like, we're going to call this person, Susie, who's like with them. And we're waiting in the line to sign the gas. best book for the wedding before the ceremony begins. And Susie, we're going to call her Susie, is in line first. And she's right behind the, or she's second. She's right behind a guy signing the book.

And Susie's a lefty. And she sees the guy in front of her, who she does not know, signing the book, is also signing the book with his left hand. So Susie nudges the guy and they're like, yeah. See, we got another lefty here. And then to her surprise, the guy turns around and is missing his right arm. Oh. And that's why you leave a note.

Oh, my God. You know what? Maybe it's just better to never talk to anybody. This is why people don't talk anymore in public. Just look at your phone at all times. This is honestly why I like tweeting over actual interactions face to face is because you can consider your response first. It deleted if it doesn't work out.

What's the upside and say that, you know? That's normalize not talking. A mild chuckle in return? Yeah, just look down. Talk to the people you already know. Oh, God. I don't know what happened then. What happened after that?

I think the follow-up. Apparently, he was very chill about it. Another lefty here. Another lefty here. He's going to be all right. All left. That is so, that is an all-time bad beat. The other ones that we've talked about were kind of like,

you pulled out the wrong phrase at the worst possible time. This is a bad beat. That's like, what are the odds of that? Yeah, what are the odds? What are the odds? D.K., didn't somebody text you, DK., being like, I love that the end of your podcast has just turned into, like, who has the worst funeral story?

Oh, God. This one's like, that's your funeral. All right, another email who got one. Aima from Jordan. Jordan. It's no cloist box, but it came across another career. football name. On Thursday, Jared Goff became the fifth quarterback since 1950 to go 10 games in a row

without throwing an interception. Hy-fit-Tex. The other quarter-a... Yeah, I didn't do it. The other quarterbacks are Derek Carr, Tom Brady, Bart Star, and Milt Plum. Milt Plum. Man, they don't make them like they used to. You know what I mean?

They were built different back then. Oh, my God. Milt Plum. Efficient. Efficient name. You know what I mean? We're not going to mix words here. Milt Plum.

Done. Sign the certificate. Get them out there. Get them working. Two syllables. We got to get more efficient with syllables and names, you guys. There's too many goddamn syllables. Bart Starr.

Two syllables. Milt Plum was like working in a factory when he was five. I was watching the deer. I was watching the deer hunter last. night, by the way. Okay. Extremely depressing movie, but there's like this whole like one hour

long intro where they're just like following the lives of these steel workers in Pennsylvania. And I'm like, milk plum was like buddies with the main characters and the deer hunting. Milk plum was born in overalls. Oh, God, milk plum. That's all we got. Thank you, D.K.

Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode. Thank you ever behind the scenes. Milk. Thank you to, to, Thank you to Milt. Thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Plum. Of course,

Cloy and Fern Box. There's a chance to Milton and Cloyce Box. I mean, there's like a very realistic chance that Cloy's Box and Milk Plum like were friends and knew each other. They probably did cross paths.

Did Milit Plum go on to be like a titan of industry after serving in World War II? I couldn't, I think so he went into, the best they could find was that he went to, he retired in North Carolina. He actually had should the best passerating in a season to like Joe Montana for like 20 years.

then he retired in North Carolina got into wood products, wood manufacturing. That's the best thing you're fine. He's still alive. He's still alive. Bill Plum's 88 years old. His mill name is Ross. Milt Ross Plum. Yep.

Do you think we can get milk plum on the pod? Also, I mean, forget you, Lord. Lord. Thank you, Cheryl Crow. Cool. Nice. Nice. Cheryl Crow's good.

I, she has so many popular songs and yet no titles coming to my brain right now. All I want to do is have some fun. Soak up the sun is a good song. Oh, right. Wait, is I'm going to soak up the sun, Cheryl Crow? Yeah.

I don't, oh, I didn't think it was. Oh, it is. Yes, it is. Oh. Oh. Let me tell you. Craig, Milt Plum played quarterback, defensive back, Hunter and place kicker at Penn State. They didn't fuck around. They were like, you know what?

Built different back then. He's like that guy on Colorado, Hunter, who's playing corner and wide receiver. Yeah, yeah. And we're all freaking out now. Mill Plum was doing that 70 years ago. These guys were playing 150 snaps a game. Right after he killed a bunch of Nazis. Right after working in the factory, like seven days a week.

Didn't get a nickel from the school. Oh, man. Milt Plum. That's awesome, man. He backed up Fran Tarkington. Do you think we could get Milt Plum on the podcast? He's 88. I don't think so.

Do you think it'd be easier or harder to set up his equipment than Pete Carroll? Craig's going to have to figure out how to get him hooked up to the internet. If Pete Carroll was hard, I can't imagine milk plum. Getting him to Zoom audio in the email. He also holds the NFL record for longest completed pass to himself. 20 yards. What? What?

They really did. Walked up to both ways. Holy shit. Oh my God. There's no way that's real. Thinking about dissolving, like my husband can't throw it and catch it. Milk plumb. Is there footage?

Is there footage of this? It should be called the plum. If you pass to yourself, it's the plum. Desmond Ritter had a plum this week. Dude, this guy's... Yeah, he plumbed it. Is this guy in a Hall of Fame? Is he a Hall of Famer?

I don't think so. His career touchdown interception ratio is 122 to 127. Dude, milk. He was an absolute sniper out there. His backup was Len Dawson. Wow, for a year. That's crazy. Isn't that the famous picture of him smoking and drinking at halftime?

Just a different generation. They don't make them like they used to. Oh, my God. Milt. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fandul is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino LLC.

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