The Ringer NFL Show - Odell to Miami and the Top Five Washed Wide Receivers. Plus, Investigating All 32 Team Names.

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

Power hour! Talk of the Miami Dolphins signing Odell Beckham Jr., as well as a handful of other “washed” wide receivers who joined new teams over the last few months (2:43). Later, they go team by team to investigate names, logos, and mascots across the NFL (19:32). Odell Beckham Jr. to the Dolphins (3:33) Chase Claypool to the Bills (5:52) Michael Thomas: Get ready to learn LinkedIn buddy (7:29) D.J. Chark Jr. to the Chargers (11:35) Michael Gallup to the Raiders (13:18) Dishonorable mentions (14:52) Check out our 2024 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Before we get to today's show, big announcement, The Ringer is hosting its first ever residency this summer in Los Angeles with a series of events at the L. Ray Theater, and the Ringer Fantasy Football Show will be there. We had so much fun in Detroit a couple weeks ago covering the draft that we figured why not run it back. So mark your calendars. Join us live in L.A. on July 30th to Tuesday, July 30th.

Tickets go on sale next Tuesday on May 14th at 10 a.m. Pacific time. For more details, you can head over to the ringer.com slash events. the ringer fantasy football show live from LA, my home turf, July 30th, we'll be talking training camp, news, prepping for your draft, rankings, tears, Heifitz, mispronouncing things, crazy listener emails.

It's going to be a blast. Tickets go on sale next week on Tuesday, May 14th at 10 a.m. Pacific. All right, let's get to the show. Your fantasy football show, my name is Danny Heifitz, and I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Warwick for our 500th episode, which is kind of crazy to think of out. But we got

news. We got Odell going to the Miami Dolphins. Huge news. It's incredible, you know? So we're just kind of really wanted to do washed widespread receivers to watch. It was just too big. We were like 500 episodes, the biggest thing we could do. We're like, dude, Odell signed with Miami like four days ago. So we got to do that.

And then we're also going to do a little ringer investigation today. Craig. Someone emailed us and was like, we talked about the Buffalo Bills thing. And we're like, what's a bill? And then someone's like, what if you do that for every team? And we were like, you know what? We do want to do that for every team.

Yeah. We're like, yeah, it's, it's nay. Like, this is the perfect time to do that. Because Ben and I, Ben Solac and I both assumed that the Bill and Buffalo Bills was just a Buffalo, that a Bill was a Buffalo. It's a guy. It's a guy. It's a guy named Bill. So this is going to be like, yeah.

So we're going to do power hour. We're going to do a mini power hour for these washed wide receiver rankings heading into 2024. And then we're going to do like an ignorant hour. for these NFL team names. Because... Something there with that name, Craig. Ignorant Hour was the name of my college radio show. Stop it.

No way. Yeah. It's called the Ignorant Hour. Oh, man. That's what we were doing. I'm not going to lie. We realized after that show that we had not spent like seven seconds of our collective lives ever thinking about the names of the teams.

And we were kind of like going down the wormhole. We're like, wow, okay. We got to do this right now. So, but yeah, for right now, let's do the power hour first. So Kai, yeah. Again, for those who are not familiar, we're doing this power hour style. So we're going to put a little,

we're going to 90 seconds on the clock. We don't have to do a full two minutes. These guys suck. They're washed. They don't get to the first of minutes. So the other kid in two minutes is too long. So we're doing 90 seconds on the clock here. But we have ranked our most washed rod receivers.

That is how this goes. There are a bunch of guys in the league that you might not know or in the league or definitely don't know which team they're on. So we're here to provide you with that information. So, you know, every 90 seconds, you're going to hear this song. We're back. A little, a little. Oh, never left.

Springtime Tom Tom. Didn't this, when you played this song at your wedding, we lost it. Well, it was, it was Lotto's song, big energy,

but the same sample. I mean, just incredible. Shout out Tom, Tom. All right, so without further ado, let's do it.

All right, start the clock, Kai. Hotel Beckham goes to the Miami Dolphins. $3 million salary, $5 million in incentives. He's got a lot of money. Uh,

O'D is 32 years old, missed all. He tore his sale in that Rams Super Bowl and they won and missed all 2022. but I kind of thought he looked okay last year. I'm deeply biased because I kind of love O'Dell from being a giant. But he played like a third of the snaps for the Ravens, but then it looked really good.

But he was like this weird. He was like the Sean Livingston for like the Warriors, Craig, where you come to him to this second man unit. It was like, this guy's like the best guy on the floor. Yeah, Odell is one of those people that I never imagined they could get old. It's like weird that O'Dell is 32 because he was like such a cool,

sexy, exciting player. Like his play style who he is. I'm like, you can't. be 32. That's not right. I feel like O'Dell Beckham is just getting these legacy contracts. Didn't he make like nine or ten million dollars last year to play a third of the snaps? The Ravens

didn't apparently think he was going to be. He made $15 million. They signed O'Dell because Lamar Jackson was like, I would like O'Donnie Johnson was like, I would like O'Donnie to add it on the Lamar's contract. O'Dell just has tenure. He can't be fired at this point. He has tenure in the NFL. He's too famous. He's just going to remain in the NFL forever.

Miami's fun though because you got Tyree Kill and Waddle and then he actually kind of makes sense with the team like he just is like this other pretty hard guy to defend one on one like frankly Is Odell like a veteran presence now? Is that what he brings? Does he step in kind of professionalize the locker room? I think it teaches them to be famous

if not better as a receiver He teaches them how to handle interviews and stuff Yeah, I'm gonna be honest I just hope he doesn't play. I really want He ruined my Malik Washington dreams like three or four days after the draft they signed O'Dill Becum. I'm like, God

damn it. I just want Leake Washington to be the number three there because he's so much more exciting and fun. And I'm kind of just, if I'm being totally honest, I'm over the O'Dell Beckham thing. High Fitz, I know that you have like a loyalty to him. I just don't care. I'm done. I'm done with it. He's friends with Drake too, so he's

probably done. All right. Tough beat. The real disrespect to Tom Tom, Tom there. It's almost like we're used to go in two minutes. But sorry, Tom, Tom, I'm rusty. Normalize finishing faster. That's right. say. That's right. Faster. Not just fast. Faster than you used to finish, which was already fast.

Totally normal. Craig next up. Chase Claypool is on the Buffalo Bills. I love how this makes the list. Yeah. That's so weird. He is 25 years old and he is somehow washed. He is wearing Stefan Diggs's number 14, which is a nice little fuck you to Stefan Diggs. What is that process like where he asks and they're just like a long pause and they're like, or did they suggest? They were like, hey, it'd be pretty funny if you weren't.

The most annoying person we can give this number two. Do you think they sign Claypool because Keon Coleman is the most likable receiver I've ever seen? Do you think we have to get the least likable person left? Dude, Chase Claypool is all bark, no bite. He's the perfect wide receiver diva. He had one good season, buoyed by touchdown luck. Then he thought he was a superstar. Now he's 25 years old, not his fourth team.

And yet, I still kind of think he's good. It's like the perfect four quadrants of a diva wide receiver is Chase Claypool. he's not going to play. He won't be playing. Sorry, I'm going to do this at the end of every every guy. I don't think Claypool is going to make this roster. That's why he's washed.

That's why he's number two on the washed ranking. You really don't think he'll make the roster? There's no receivers on this team. They got receivers. They got some guys. Khalil Shaker, Curtis Samuel, Mac Holland. Shakir. Shikir.

I like Shaker. Mac Hollins. It's going to come down to Matt Collins versus Chase Claypool. This is the ball. of training camp right there. I think he's going to make the team. Okay. Oh, they have KJ Hamler.

Let's put $14 on it, Craig. They have Andy Isabella, Quintes, Cephiss. Dude, this is like the waiver. Seamus. This is a Patriots. Wow. All right. Next up here.

Dude, I totally forgot this guy existed. Michael Thomas is a free agent. Yeah, yeah. He's still around. I think the NFL forgot he existed. Dude, he's only 31. I'm actually shocked he's not older. Like, he's younger than O'Dell Beckham.

Michael Thomas. Isn't it weird? He called like $100. 49 catches and he has like 60 since. That was four years ago. Dude, he has, Michael Thomas had more receiving yards in his rookie season than he's had since 2019.

Wow. That was five years ago. It's 2024 right now. It's getting sad with Michael Thomas. It's like when they roll out like an old actor to introduce an award at the Oscars and you're just like, ah. I think at this point, Craig, do the Pacino.

Do the Pacino. Uh, my eyes see Oppenheimer. God, damn. What's going on? Dude, DK. I don't know if you, I'm like,

my, I see Michael Thomas? What's going on? Oh my God. The best way I can explain Michael Thomas is his career was entirely pre-pandemic. Like, literally he's done nothing since the pandemic happened.

Do you guys remember, D.K. I, it's whoever watched the Oscars like 10 years ago. Do you guys remember they used to wheel out Kirk Douglas, Michael Douglas's father. And he was like actually a hundred years old.

Wheel him. him out. He was in a wheelchair and he wheeled him out. He didn't know what was going on. And I was like, who was this for? Why are they doing this? Stop doing this. That's how I feel right now, but Michael Tom is still trying. I'm like, who is this for? Craig, this country has an obsession with old people. That's certainly true. Do we? That's another question. Yes, we do. Don't we treat our old people worse than like every other developed country in the world? Well, we give them CEO titles and let them run the country. And name them president.

Oh, yeah. Well, there's that whole thing. And also, there's no new actors, apparently. This is a huge tangent, but I was talking to Craig the other day. I went to rewatch the Irishman. I'm like, I'm sorry. Dude, Robert De Niro trying to play like a 30-year-old is so ridiculously stupid. Who thought this was going to work?

He looked 70 the entire movie. There's no strong enough CGI. Find some new friends, Marty. Find anyone. under the age of 70 to do this role. Gorsese is the Bill Belichick of filmmaking because he's like the best

he's incredible but also he hasn't met anyone in like 40 years. He's like unwilling to work with any new people. Just only working with Joe Judge and Matt Patricia wherever he goes. He's like, no, no, no, I need De Niro in this. De Niro? The way he moves in the movie is just so annoying to me.

See, that's the problem is they deage his face digitally, but you can't really change the body, even if the body looks younger. The way he moved. There's a scene where he, He beat somebody up on a sidewalk, and you're like, I know this man on screen technically is like 35, but this is a 72-year-old man punching, and you can tell. Literally, what is more being old than literally, like, agreeing to have CGI in your movie rather than meeting new people? I know.

It's really tough. We need a word for when a movie comes out and you want it to be good so bad that you kind of convince yourself it is. And then three years later. The Robert Downey Jr. award for, like, I pretended to like subcommittee hearings. You're the only one who had that thought. I think what's weird about it, this is the whole tangent. What's weird about it to me is I feel like the most basic Christopher Nolan fan in every other way. I feel like I have no unique opinions.

I'm a 29-year-old man who loves the Dark Knight and likes all the Christopher Nolan stuff. And I feel very basic. And then I just had a completely different view on this movie than everyone else. And I was like, when did I get out of line? I don't know, I feel very weird. I'm just like in the moment, I was like, the Irishman. No, it works. The digital, the de-aging works.

And now it's been like five years and I'm like, it didn't work. God, it does not work at all. Anyway, just make them older. I didn't know they send 70-year-old men to World War II to like fight in the trenches. Like, come on. Get a new actor. Leo, the camera was right there. We're like budding up against one of the hottest takes I have, but I might have to save it for a future take, Burge.

Oh. I'll save it. All right. Anyway, DJ Chark signed with the Chargers. Yes, DJ Chark is still in the NFL. In fact, doing some really, really in-depth research last night on DJ Chark. Did you guys know that he led the Panthers in touchdowns last year?

The Panthers receiving car. Get the fuck out of him. Was fucking sad last year. DJ Chark, he played 75% of the team snaps last year. He caught 35 passes on 66 targets. That's a 53% catch rate. So he was,

I mean, not efficient whatsoever. Two catches a game. However, he did, like I said, lead the team in touchdown catches. Five. I want to say Thielen,

maybe he had four. Anyways, it was not a good situation. So I guess there is the hope or prayer that maybe he can come a lot. J.J. Chark could come alive with Justin Herbert. But I also think this is a team is going to throw like probably at the lowest rate of any team in the NFL. They're going to run the hell out of the ball. They just drafted Lab McConkey. Our boy, Josh Palmer's still there.

That's right. They're going to try and make Quentin Johnston a thing probably. And also, Shark just might be bad. He was out of 84 receivers last year with 50 plus targets, he was 75th in receiving grade, according to PFF. Guess who was 83rd? Jonathan Mingo, their second round pick. Oh.

The situation wasn't great for this. Actually, this sort of makes me in a roundabout way more excited about what Bryce Young can do when he has some real receivers. I don't know if that's happened yet, but the receiver core for the Panthers last year was atrocious. Yeah, DJ Shark is, is a rare washed 27-year-old. He's still playing and actually like getting minutes.

Good for him. Next up here, we have Michael Gallup, sign with the Raiders. Didn't know this happened. I'm going to be honest. Gallup is entering the Michael Thomas zone of guys who haven't done anything since the pandemic. Just wheeling him out to announce some of the before times. Just call the before times. Yeah, Michael Gallup, yeah, he was definitely on your fantasy roster in the before times.

he had a couple of good seasons 2019, 2020. He's only 28 years old. God. Anyways. Craig and I just having like crisis over all these guys being awful that are our age.

He had, so he had a 51% snap rate for a Dallas team last year that actually needed more depth and more guys to step up. But Michael Gallup's snap rate as the year went on plummeted to like,

it was like in the 30s by the end of the season. He was just barely playing. He ranked 64th on that list of 84 players with 50 plus targets last year in receiving grade, so he was not good. Two catches a game on 3.4 targets. I mean, there's not much to say here.

He's going to be buried, I feel like, on the Raiders team, and I would not be surprised if he does not make the team. So, it's over with Michael Gallup, I would say. It's Jover. It's so Jover. The Raiders are also, much like the bills, they're kind of just assembling these, like,

has been also ran wide receivers. It's like, they have Devontadams. And then after that, it's Jacoby Myers, Michael Gallup and Jalen Gaiton. Oh yeah, they signed Jel and Guyton this should have been maybe on this list. I think Jalen Geyton might be better than Michael Galk. I think that knee injury really screwed up Michael Giles.

Oh, for sure. More so than most injuries, like that really ruined his career. He never bounced back. Other guys that we were going to put on this list, but frankly, we're just going to do a little honorable, dishonorable mention for all these other washersievers. Tyler Boyd is still a free agent? Hold on.

Hold on. Breaking news, literally as has happened. Tyler Boyd has signed a one-year deal. Can you guys guess which team? I'm going to go with, oh, this is, hold on here. I want to get this. You get one guess.

Yeah, I'm going to get this right. One opportunity. I'm going to say, Jets. Wait, no, let me guess. I'm going to go with Vikings. The Titans. One year deal worth a max of $4.5 million. Traylon Berks is not long for this world.

Traylon Berks almost certainly going to get moved. They drafted a slot receiver, Chiquon Jackson in the sixth round, I believe. They just signed Tyler Boyd. Obviously, they signed Calvin Ridley. They also have Dondrey Hopkins. Chig, Akonquo. Trelin Berks, get him out of there.

I would love Traylon to go to Pittsburgh. He's a real, like, new city, fresh start guy. Like, I feel like he could step into a new team and actually be... Are there any wild hogs for him to stab to death in Pittsburgh? What? Traylon Burks is the guy who goes hunting for pigs. with knives. That was like,

that was like his top draft profile like trait was that he hunted hogs with his knife. It's like the Joker. He's like, yeah, we can't savor all the emotions. Jesus. Tronbergs really does speak softly and carry a knife. But yeah, I would love that. I would love to see him go somewhere else.

He's had the worst imaginable start to a career of like any highly ranked receiver I can remember. He basically showed up for training camp. He was too out of shape to finish any practice. They were like, it's asthma. They're like, no, no, no. He has asthma, but that's not why he's out of shape.

This is, there was a point. Yeah, there was a point in time during that training camp where I was like, Traylenberg's finish one practice challenge. Come on, guy. Finish one practice where we don't have to hear about you going into the locker room after running around and warming up. Anyways, Mike Vrable clearly hated him because they chose this guy. Wrong kid.

Tyler Boyd to Tennessee is a real tough beat for Nick Westbrook Aquine who's just been in the NFL not playing for five years. We need a word for guys who are referenced only in the context of to prove how bad the receivers are

for the quarterback. Like Nick Westbrookickeenie only gets brought up when it's like, well, the Titans don't have anyone. They just got Nick Westbrook of Kine and it's like we need a whole list of people. Just catching strays. Yeah, it's just like, like Jonathan Mingo will just be like

Bryce Young, well he's no name work with. He's just got like, Jonathan Mingo, you know what I mean? Like there's a whole class of guys that are just proof that they suck. Yeah. Anyway. So other wash receivers just a little check in. Jujus and Smith Shoots are still on the Patriots, not dead.

Also way too young. Robert Woods still on the Texans, which is hilarious. That poor, Jarvis Landry. Our boy Bobby Trees. They're doing him. He's a coach now. It's fine.

Yeah. We got him a funeral. Jarvis Landry, who sat out last year, which I don't know if he sat out or just was not offered a job. Did he set out? Did he sit out the year before that, too? I feel like it's been a while. It's also kind of a before times guy. Went to a rookie minicamp this weekend,

which is so sad for a 31-year-old to go to rookie. He's bad. It's like when like someone's dad shows up at the high school party and you're like, 21 jump street. This is Billy Madison showing up for the third grade. Billy past the third grade.

Oh, what a glorious day. And also, Martavis Bryant still on the Cowboys, which I cannot get over. So if one of those guys, I told you, still on the Cowboys. boys. Didn't they just sign him like not the longer? He was there last year on the practice squad, which is. Oh, practice squad.

So how is Martavis Bryant's 32? Martavis Bryant is older than Odell Beckham. He's older than Michael Thomas and older than Jarvis Landry. How is that possible? He hasn't caught passes in five years. If I told you one of those guys was actually a good fantasy asset this year, who is it? Martavis Bryant, Eugene Smith-Schuster, Michael Gallup, Robert Woods, Jarvis Landry.

Oh, heaven's goodness. Wait, do we not include Tyler Boyd? No, he's Tyler Boyd's not that bad. Tyler Boyd's been on the NFL team. We can't compare him to Jarvis Langer. I'll take Ju-Ju. Yeah. Just take the youngest guy who's not 30.

Jesus. All right. So there's our watch receiver. Nice power ranking. Thank you to Tom, Tom, for getting back in our lives. That was fun. All the wash receivers.

I hope we spawned a lot of people texting their friends. Like, did you know Michael Gallup was on the Raiders? Yeah. Just bazaar. So, yeah, emails for your fantasy football at Gmail.com. If you have more thoughts and watched us. Also, we have our fantasy football rankings at fancyfutball. com.

So check in our rankings if you want to yell at us about anything. We are now going to do a little ringer investigation. And we're going to just literally go through every team. And this is for our 500 episode. Maybe the dumbest thing we've ever done. It's like totally up there. But we're just going to go through the name of each team and we're going to talk about what that is.

Kai, put 500 minutes on the clock. So you guys just want to go like one by one here, division by division? I mean, I feel like that's probably the way to go. Is the idea here and we, we've like, we have talked about this, but not, you know, fully because we don't want to, you don't want to do the pod before the pot. Are we going to be like New England Patriots? Patriot. What is a Patriot? Yeah, that makes sense. New England, yep. Okay. It's kind of like that, right. Yes, with a certain acceptance. This is going to be so good. Ironically, you chose the, so it's fun. All right. Well, let's just start there because it's funny. You chose that as an example because I want to talk. about the name of the team. Not the logo, that, the little picture, not the mascot with a guy

in the, like the name. Ironically, that's the one I didn't want to talk. I wanted to talk about the location. There is some, I feel like there's confusion in like, like, is the Patriots their mascot or it's just their name? But do you, like, would you say what is New England's name? So I guess I think it as their team name. The logo, it's, they're interchangeable, but also the name is the New York Giants. The name is the NY. And they don't have a mascot. They don't have a mascot. They don't have a giant? No, they do not.

Why? It's beneath them because they're old money. It's literally beneath them. All right. That's how they look. They did a giant's don't have cheerleaders either. Football should not have cheerleaders.

No sports show. We need to be done with those. It's kind of absurd. Let's, let's be honest. Anyway, so you want to just go through? Let's just start there. All right, sorry, New England Patriots. You want to just start there?

Yeah, I was wondering, I'm going to immediately screw up this exercise because they're supposed to have a Patriots. I was wondering, you guys are from the West Coast. Could you tell me what New England is? No. It's a number, it's a region, a number of states in that region. I'm guessing, it's kind of like four or five of these, Connecticut. Yeah, it's like kind of four of the five of the 13 original colonies vibes. Is New York and New England technically? No. No. I feel like it's like

Massachusetts. Massachusetts. Connecticut? Connecticut? Like Delaware, is Delaware in there? I don't know what Delaware's up to, but no, I don't think so. Is Rhode Island? I'm in Delaware. Rhode Island. No one wants Rhode Island is the dirty truth. I feel like Rhode Island's very pretty. People like Providence and. Yeah, people like going to. Rhode Island is like Connecticut is to New York, like, to New York, what I think Rhode Island is to Massachusetts, which is, it's like an extension of the state, but it's also not. And Connecticut people might feel mad at what I just said,

but Connecticut's weird because it's kind of split in half. It's like a suburb of New York, but also part of like Massachusetts, but it's also not either of those things. think that like some team names are based on a city like Buffalo. Then you have New England, which is an area or like the Golden State Warriors, whatever the Golden State is just California. And then you have like, what's with that? And then you have like the Tennessee Titans, which is just a whole state. Like how do they decide what the first name is?

That's a great question. I don't know. Because New England's like a wild thing. I think they were just kind of going for it. Well, because is it like Tennessee is like, look, we're only going to have one team in a state. So we're just going to give it the whole state name. But if there's going to be multiple teams in a state, we got to go city? Is that how they think about it? So I just watched

Shogun, and this is not a spoiler, but there's a point where they have this map and it's like they're explaining the Portuguese and the Spanish agreed to like draw, carve up the world into like these giant lateral feasts. And basically they wouldn't mess with each other as long as like, you know, Portugal just gets like China, Japan and Korea and that part of the world. And then like Spain just gets like Europe and Africa. It's fucked up that they did that. But that's like the deal. Not going to lie. I feel like the sports teams did the state, like they're just looking at a map. And they're like, yeah, we'll just take all this.

And they're just carving stuff up. Yeah, because I'm looking now, the other states that are included in New England are Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont. I think we got all of them. But anyways, like, there's never going to be a pro NFL team in Maine. So maybe they just were trying to be really, you know, a power broker in that entire area. Do people from Maine route for the Patriots? That's a question of throw out.

Yes. For sure. Yes. Also, Fox. Foxborough is not close to Boston, right? Oh, this is a different conversation. Well, this is like the Giants play in Jersey. Oh, yes. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like Dallas and Fort Worth. How far is Foxborough from Boston? Was there, was there, it? Is it game day? Let's just, I don't know, normal. Just give us the miles. I don't know. I think it's like 30 minutes with no traffic and 90 minutes with traffic.

Oh, 30 minutes with traffic. That's not very far. But there's always traffic. Next up, the one that started this, the Buffalo Bills, which, again, the real. reason we're doing this exercise is just that we were like, wait a second, the logo is Buffalo. What's a bill? And we just couldn't, bills in our heads was Buffalo's and it's a whole thing.

And so I guess Buffalo Bill never, he lived in Rochester for like a year and a half. And the whole thing's kind of fucked up when you think about it. I still think that they should just call Buffalo's bills now. Like we need to just. Or do we just call them the Buffaloes? We should just call them the Buffalo and just like Prince, just one name, Buffalo. Wasn't it? And it's this place and the logo.

and they're just like, they're playing Buffalo this weekend and they don't have like the Ich Ero. You know, you have like every now and then, you have like a one-name person. Do you ever think about how Buffalo Bill just murdered probably hundreds, if not thousands of Buffaloes? Really? I'm not going to lie.

I didn't know why they called him that. Well, I mean, maybe he didn't hunt. Hold on. Now I got a fact check myself. But I feel like Buffalo Bill Cody was named that because he killed a bunch of Buffaloes. I think he was kind of in then. It says that the Bill's nickname

reference Frontiersman Buffalo Bill Cody and was selected over bullets, Nichols, and Blue Devils. Nichols? The Nichols? The Buffalo Nichols. Yeah, that wouldn't be good. The Buffalo Bullets would have been fun.

I know Washington already had the bullets, but Buffalo Bullets is cool. All right. Next up, we got the New York Jets, which, not going to lie, it's kind of funny. I thought this is true, and I looked it up,

and it is true. The Jets were named the New York Jets because they play near LaGuardia Airport. And they were like, and it rhymes with the Mets. I cannot stress you. They actually just redid LaGuardia now and it's actually kind of nice,

but I can't tell you how much New Yorkers fucking hate LaGuardia Airport. It's a terrible airport. Joe Biden back, well, in the before times, Joe Biden called it a third world's airport. And it was like a national story and people were like, oh, Biden criticized it. And it was like, all the New Yorkers were like,

no, it is a third world airport. It was insane. So like the fact that the Jets were named after the shittiest airport in America is incredible. That is nice. LaGuardia Airport makes L.A.X look like a paradise. When if the jets had been made like earlier, would they have been like the propeller planes instead of the jets? Like what year was, where you were they incorporated? Like to see their AFL team.

So the 60s, the 50s. That's true. Plains were probably cooler then. That's, that's the New York planes. Yeah. Unabomers. that's a different thing what

super different I think I was thinking stealth bomber and then unit bomber hopped in my head Unip bomber is a person not an airplane that's right

that's right that's right anyway moving on what was that guy's named Ted Kaczynski Ted Kaczynski which I learned that from Goodwill Hunting

hmm honestly okay did they only name the Nets the Brickland Nets the Nets because it rhyme

with Jets and Mets? Yes. I believe so. Wow. They just had the thing going. I think the Nets is the worst name in the sports. You're not sure part of the court. Yeah, that's the worst.

Like, imagine if a football team is just like the Cleveland Pilons. Like, it's just terrible. The Nets? It's not even a cool part of the court. The rim is way cooler. It's way cooler than that. The backboard. Next up, Miami Dolphins.

I can't say that word, but Dolphins. Dolphins. That's good. Dolphins are very intelligent creatures. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, the dolphin wearing a helmet logo. Oh, it's pretty sick.

I'm such a sucker for that. The logos were the animals doing the sport. Like the Pittsburgh penguins have it with a little stick. I love when the animals play in the sport. It's my favorite. What do you guys? What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of the dolphins? Because for me, it's the movie Ace Ventura.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Finkle's Seinhorn. It's such a good movie. It's Finkel. Yeah, dolphin is solid. I like that. Dolphin also a very fast swimmer, so it plays a very fast swimmer.

It's really good. It captures the city. Swimmers. It does. Are Benita fish big? What's this guy's deal? Are dolphins fast? Next up here.

Houston Texans. Geez, I never thought about this one, but woof. It just named it. Like, Craig, this is. they threaded the needle. They're like, well, let's go to city and state.

That would be like if there was a team called the San Francisco Californians. It's got to be so. I feel like it's like showing your insecurity that they're in this

competing with the Dallas Cowboys and they're like, we're Texan too and just put it right in the name. Yeah, I think they were like, how Texas can we make us sound? Yeah.

We're just going to put Houston, a huge city in Texas, and then just call us Texans to stick it to the Dallas Cowboys. Because Dallas Cowboys is about as Texas as you can get until Houston Texan came along. We also got email on the Dallas, me confusing Dallas and Fort Worth

together. We got an email from Zach. Many people It's not that Dallas is mad to be part of Fort Worth as much as Fort Worth is mad to be considered part of Dallas. That's the vibe I've gotten. They don't want to be the little brother to Dallas. Well, it's the shirt that says don't Dallas my Fort Worth because Dallas wants to be a modern

big city and Fort Worth stops traffic for a cattle drive. And Fort Worth doesn't really want to be considered part of Dallas. I'm looking at animals native to Texas and trying to find something that hasn't been used before, at least in professional sports. Cougars are popular. Cougars.

All right. Well, now we have to just jump to the Carolina Panthers and the Jacksonal Jaguars. Are a panther and a jaguar and a cougar? Are these all the same? And an ocelot. An ocelot. Ocelots are also native to Texas. That's the pet that people have on TikTok, right?

Well, yeah. They were around. Is an ocelot of panther? They look like mini leopards or mini. Did we kill all these things? I remember playing Red Dead Redemption. I had to kill a big panther. Second largest spotted cats in South America are oscillates.

Speaking of killing animals, I'm going to Africa in two weeks, and we are going to see the only two remaining white rhinos on the earth. You're going to kill one? Yeah, I'm going to kill one. I'm pretty sure, like, if you, like, sent a text about that, like, they would come after you. It's like how if you, like, can't text, like, I'm going to kill the president. Because like somebody might like you're gonna be on a list somewhere. Correct.

Why are you saying, but you're asking for the Job arresting development. Don't edit this so that I'm going to kill the president. They're very focused on preserving, rightfully so, these two white rhinos. What's the first thing you guys think of when you think of a rhino? Because for me, it's the movie Ace Ventura 2. And Africa. What is, does he come out? Remember when he crawled out of the ass?

Yes. It's like Frank and it's so he sunny, but instead of a couch, it's the ronite. Or maybe, yeah. give it's either give it's giving birth somehow yeah to ace ventura no he comes out and sweaty in there his fans stop working that's the worst when you're inside a rhino you're not to be clear you're not hunting on the safari right no because you just say speaking of killing animals i am i am clear well i'm only saying that because i'm assuming that these white rhinos are so few now because perhaps illegal hunting practices are they male and female that's a great question i don't know i'll have to i'm sure

i'll find that out i would really hope so I would hope so. All right, what were we talking about? You were bringing up Panthers versus Jaguars, Panthers, Cougars, what's the deal with this? I don't know. This is the one we should have done some research on. Yeah, we should look for it.

Jaguars, I believe, are not native at all to Jacksonville. I don't think there are any Jaguars there. Actually, people have emailed this about this. Hold on. I can find out. Look it up because I feel like there are, there are. Oh, here we go. Big cats in Florida.

All right. From Rob. Rob. Hey. Well, black Jaguars is sometimes for to as quote black panthers this is actually an inaccurate term panthers wildcats cougars and catamounts are all the same species but jaguars are a different species primarily found in south america through mexico and occasionally in the southwestern u.s however they are not found in the

wild in florida oh it feels like they like name generated it and they were like what name has not been used and it sounds kind of cool i think you're right about yeah yeah you have the alliteration true we mentioned the indianapolis cults uh is it a colt I'm going to really show my ass here. But a cult, is it a cult specifically? It's just a male horse or is it a young male horse? Like is an old male horse, a cult? Or does it have to be like a?

It is a young. It's a young horse. Yeah. Yeah. So that's kind of weird that they called it that. It's pretty crazy that like horse didn't meet the, the coolness threshold to be a Nassah. Yeah. Why are the Indianapolis horses?

You got to call it cults. The young horses. It's a young uncastrated male horse, in particular one less than, four years old. Is that because like the derby horses are Colts? Almost every animal kind of made the cut at the Masters for mascot potential. Horse.

Tough beat. It's like one of the most popular animals. Like maybe the most popular animal before like since 1950 like 1950 and earlier horse most popular animal right? Yeah, it's weird. Or the dogs?

They were cars back then. That's Sorry, I was looking up Colt. Did you guys mention there's also a team called the Broncos? Well, I was going to say, the Broncos, I think Broncos is a pretty good name. Also, I'm not right. I don't, what is the Bronco? Is it a bono just a synonym for horse?

Bucking. Is it a kind of horse? I think it's a type of horse. It's like a wild horse. Yeah. Hold on. Let me look. I just, but they must have just said like, look, horse is a cool animal.

That name is not cool enough. We're going to have to go with Bronco. Any horse, regardless of breed color, gender who tends to buck is a Bronco. That's sick. That's great. I love that. Broncos really strong. Unbridled bucking. Yeah. That's good. You know what? You know what is a cool, another cool type of horses of Mustang. Ooh. Yeah. There you go. That would have been. How do you differentiate between a Mustang and a Bronco? Besides, not the cars. I'm talking about like the animals. I don't know. No, no.

Mustang is a free roaming horse to the western U.S. descended from horses. brought to the Americas by the Spanish conquistadors. We got too many words. Yeah. Yeah. Next up here, we got the Tennessee Titans. I mean, so they moved in there with the Houston Oilers, which is, I mean, all time. That's an incredible name.

And their mascot was an oil Derek. Sorry, no, their logo was an oil Derek. That's one of the all-time logos. That's a real, fucking time cancel. Like, you want to talk about a time when, like, no one gave a shit about parking? Right. We have an arena called Climate Pledge Arena, and the Houston Oilers are coming to play with their oil dairy.

What should our logo be? Well, a lot of oil here. A lot of oil rigs. A lot of Texans, a lot of oil. So they moved to Tennessee and they just like clearly just looked up words that started with T. We're like, yeah, Titans. I don't know.

No, that's not why. Actually, I looked this up because I was curious. I was like, why the fuck are they the Titans? Part of it is, at least according to local lore. Oh, my God, can I guess? Sure. Is it because Nashville, Tennessee has that bizarrely massive copy of the fucking Parthenon for no reason? Yes. Yes.

Oh, my God. Nashville is known, apparently. I did not know this. I've actually never been to Nashville. I need to go there. Nashville is called the Athens of the South. Oh. Which is weird because it's not like, I don't know.

There's a, well, I guess there are some. You don't have to explain why. That's weird. Craig, this is the whole episode. Just to be clear, we're talking about, so what is with Tennessee and old historical cities? Because the Memphis has the Bass Pro Shops. That's the giant pyramid.

Isn't it larger than the Giza pyramid in Memphis? And it's a fucking Bass Pro Shop. It's like the fourth biggest pyramid on Earth. And that guy got pulled out of the water tank. It was butt naked. That was crazy. And then you also, now you have Nashville has this giant Parthenon. Like, what's with that?

They view themselves as a home to high education, higher education. And therefore, I think they pay homage to, yes, among other things. And they pay homage to like the ancient Greeks and education and all that. That kind of just screams you think you're better than me, energy. It would have been cool if just like how the Houston Oilers had the oil Derek as their logo, the Tennessee Titans should have a Parthenon as their logo. That would be sweet. I was going to say the Titans logo is super fucking weak.

Titans, you can do anything with that. And they just got like, it's kind of fucking sad. This is like, this is like if some team in Greece was like their logo was the Golden Gate Bridge or something. People in Greece like, why do you have the Parthenon on your helmet? I don't know. It's just a weird, but the, you know what I mean the Titans? The Warriors logo is the Golden Gate Bridge. That's true.

At least they're from there, Craig. But what is the Titans logo? It's just like blue ball of flame. What is it? Yeah, yeah. We got a lot to work with there. By the way, I pulled up the Titans mascot. Do you know what the Titans

mascot is? Kronos. You never get it. There's no way in hell you're getting Is it a horse? It's a raccoon. What is it? What is it? The state animal of Tennessee is the raccoon. The state animal of Tennessee is the raccoon?

Wait, where are the trash pandas located? Hunting, Huntsville, Alabama. Shout out to the Rocket City. trash panas. Rocket City, baby. I don't know where Rocket City is. Alabama. It's a made-up name.

Do we think Tennessee raccoons has legs? I kind of like it. T-Rack is their mascot. Dude, they literally have Titans. Titans. Denzel Washington, remember the Titans? The Titans were powerful than the gods.

And they came up with a fucking raccoon like it's Guardians of the Galaxy. To me, the Titans are like newfangled advertising gone awry. You know what I mean? Like, yes.

They have, I don't know, just everything about them, the mascot, the name, the logo, the colors. It's like they gave it to some Madison Avenue

advertising firm and was like, come up with like the lamest thing you could possibly think of. Sorry, Tennessee. It's, our logo is the letter T and it's covered in blue flames. Ooh. It says that it's the raccoon's the state animal of Tennessee because of Davey Crockett.

All right, sure. Oh, yeah, sure. All right, next up. AFC North Time. Pittsburgh Steelers. It's incredible. Pretty cool. It's incredible.

And the black, yellow color scheme throughout the whole city's team is like, I can't believe that everyone else doesn't do that. I think every city should be required to have one color scheme. The commanders are not going to do this because Josh Harris bought it. And it's like, he's a childhood fan of the team. But like the biggest mistake dance that it ever made, well, he made like 10,000. But it's a very obvious. the biggest legal mistake?

Yeah. No, the thing that he should have done for the easiest amount of goodwill when he was like sinking was Dan Snyder should have just made the Washington colors red, white and blue because then the hockey basketball and football, hockey, baseball, basketball football would all be right white and blue, only the commanders are not.

Red white and blue in the nation's capital? Yeah, it's like so easy. Just do anything. And so, I don't know, Pittsburgh, it's just, it's no notes. You want to talk about incorrect names for the nation's capital? Washington Wizards? What are we doing there?

Dude, well, yeah, so that's another new age because they were the Washington bullets and then DC had a huge gun violence problem and so they got rid of it. But that's another Madison Avenue. They're like, it just has to ride, just alliteration. Just call them the what, but there's not any W words. They went with the fucking wizards.

Steelers is the perfect combo of like, it represents the city perfectly. It's a cool name to say. It's just like encapsulates the city in probably the best way of any, maybe top three of any NFL team name. Do you guys know why the logo is like those three little colors? Yeah, I was kind of bring that up because it is.

I actually have no idea. I'll let you explain it because you're those. It represents the three like materials needed to make to produce steel. It's like yellow for coal, orange for iron ore and blue for scrap, steel scrap. It's a it's the actual logo used by the steel industry by yeah originated by US steel. That's incredible. It's kind of bad. Pretty sweet.

the Steelers killed it, no notes. Yeah, no notes to the Steelers. Washington, though, a lot of notes. Dude, the commanders. I mean, I get it. It's the commander in chief or whatever. I think that I wonder, because like when it turned out that the old name was going to get changed, it's D.C. So like the amount of law firms who started just trademarking shit, just a trademark shit, I think that they just were like, yeah.

This one's not taken. Let me ask this. Is commanders actually a bad name or is it just new? Like, if commanders had been the name since, you know, you know, you know, know the beginning of the team. Would we think it was a bad name? I think it's right in the middle. It's fine.

I kind of think they should have stuck with football team. No. I forgot. That's actually funny. I kind of forgot they had that era. I don't know if they're going to keep the name. Like, do you keep him? Commander sounds a little like XFL-E,

but I don't know. If it was around since the 50s and we didn't know any better, I don't think anybody would have issues with it personally. Clearly. Why didn't they go with the hogs? or something along that line. I think because it's a nickname for an offensive line from the 80s

and they were like, felt a little weird about, they were like, it's a pretty niche. Major Tuddy though, crazy mascot. What's the hockey team in Washington? Capitals, right?

Capitals, which, you know, speaking of, that makes sense. But yeah, I get where they went with it. The other one, Baltimore Ravens.

Okay. So it's kind of weird. Cool. Is it an Edgar Lowe thing? Yeah. Dude, I think I just realized that right now. You're right.

You didn't. Yeah. Is that why they, wait, the football team is named after a writer? Well, it's named after a story. Yeah, it's named after,

uh, I did not put that together until just now. That's wild. Is that a poem? Or a story? It's a poem. Football team is it after a poem? That's,

that's pretty stuff like you. I feel like if the Ravens weren't so universally known as like badasses and things, like this would be such a funny name. The Ravens. Yeah. the Baltimore poems. Well, Ravens are cool birds, though. Ravens are cool birds.

Ravens are sick. Ravens are very smart birds. They taught Ravens had to count. Ravens are big. Ravens are big. Ravens are fucking big. Is this the dumbest we've ever sounded on this show? I think it is.

I mean, shit. 500th episode, baby. Yeah. I mean, I could come full circle. I could use a self-bomber with a unabomber. Drake, you know why you thought it was the Unibot? Maybe because the B-1 bomber? unit unit bomber

maybe I mean I yelled horses were cars like 10 minutes Ravens are big so Philadelphia Eagles Are ravens big? Eagles are sick Eagles are so cool Although I'm not gonna like

Bald Eagles kind of I mean this is a little sensitive But dude bald Eagles are like They're like buzzards man They'll fucking eat anything In Alaska bald Eagles He had a fucking dumpsters Like Long John Silver's dumpsters

So bald You know what I mean? Like they eat bald Eagles want fresh fish but if they can't get it they'll eat anything I think

Long John Silver is the funniest restaurant Who is there Just bald Eagles Bald don't shut your mouth about bald

Eagles No they're sick I just saw one there's a couple in DC actually and they're like they're actually they're awesome

but golden eagles those are big birds I feel like there's a lot of cool birds that are our mascots like birds just have great branding in like the sports world.

But I have a question. This is a quick tangent. I have a question about carrier pigeons. Do tell. Pray tell, Craig. What's your question? I was having this discussion. I think with Liz,

I don't know who, but when you watch all these medieval shows or whatever, you're watching Game of Thrones, like the carrier pigeons would deliver messages back and forth. And that was a real thing. That happened, right?

I don't think, has anyone put one more second of thought into how the fuck that works? Yeah. Yeah. So explain this to me. This in my head is how it worked, and you let me know if I'm wrong. So let's say you're in England and you're going to a different country.

You're going to Germany. Would you take a pigeon with you from England so that when it's in and with you to Germany so that you then write a note, give it back to the pigeon. And the pigeon then flies back home to where it knows it lives? How does it know where to go? Well That's such a good question I don't know I think the theory is

It's something to do with the magnetic field Of the earth or something like that In my head it's like they must only know Yeah they can only go home in my in my estimation That would be the only way you could like predict Where a pigeon would fly is if you took it away from its home Gave it a note And it would fly back to its home

Is that right Email us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com If you know carrier pigeons work Because that's a good question That's a good question The way that animal used the magnetic field to do certain things is pretty wild.

Like, I think there's, they have, they have, they can sense. I mean, obviously, I don't know. But how did people know where they were going? I think Craig's thing that's getting at that I agree with is that Craig's thing is like, pigeon keeps showing up. Does the pigeon have two points it can go to or one? Is it like you bring it somewhere else? Basically, when you receive a carrier pigeon,

do you then have to put it on a little cage and put it on a cart and send it back to where it came from? Because like, like, is there like a basically Amazon return? Do they have to Amazon return package all the pigeons? Or do the pigeons have multiple places they can send them? That's a good question. It's like they're like boomerangs. Like you can throw it away from their home, but they will always come back.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good. But no, no, but when you throw it away, though, like when you let it go, is it, have you trained it to go to two places? No, I think, what do you mean? It would only go to one. homes back to where it was. So you're getting a shipment of pigeons. And those pigeons, when you let him go, we're going to go back home.

And you put a little note on them. But eventually you might run out of pigeons. Because I assume you can't train a pigeon to go to a different place. You can't tell the pigeon where to go. So is it like every pigeon earmarked with a specific location? It's like, oh, a new batch of pigeons just came in from London. They can only fly to London. So we're in Berlin right now.

But if you want to send a message back to London, use the London pigeons. That, yes. I think that has to be the answer. They have a big L on them. Is this how refrigerators work? Craig, I was reading, okay, so this is another tangent. I was reading the book, Rogue Heroes. You know, there's a show now.

I forget which channel it's on Rogue Heroes. It's about the British SAS in North Africa, et cetera, et cetera, in World War II. And in the book, later in the war, a lot of the SAS went to Europe, and they parachuted into like behind enemy lines in France and did all this stuff like sabotage whatnot. And there was a scene from the book that I was literally like just sitting there by myself cracking up because they the guy jumped out of a plane. He parachuted into France with a carrier pigeon to like tell base that they landed successfully and are doing whatever.

And he lands and he goes to send this message and he goes, the damn pigeon flew into the nearest tree as far as I know he's still there. So, by the way, I don't think they're 100% successful. How many messages? How many, like, extremely important messages were lost? So many, idiots. So many, Craig. By the way, Eagles are fucking picking off these pigeons left and right.

Oh, yeah, just the Eagles are just, that's so true. Because the Philadelphia Eagles does a good job of threading bald eagle, Philadelphia, Liberty Bell, Freedom. That's a good one. That's a really good. It's a high, I hate to admit it, but it's a high level one for the Philadelphia Eagles. Seattle Seahawks. D.K., you told us a wild guy.

Seahawks don't exist. They're actually Ospreys. Well, I don't, yeah, I don't think Seahawk was a real thing when they named the team. It's, it's named after Ospreys, which are a type of hawk that live near the sea. That's a good rebrand. That's good work by Madison Avenue. I agree. Seattle Seahawks is sick. Seattle Seahawks are the only professional team, I believe, where the first three letters of each name is the same. So that's, so that's great. It feels very representative of the city of Seattle.

Like Seahawk just seems like the perfect fit. I also think the color scheme of Seattle is like the perfect fit for the state. That like Pacific Northwest, greens, blues. It's good. Well, we do that too, like you're saying with Pittsburgh. Yeah, the Mariners. I guess the Mariners are a little different color. It's close-ish.

But the sounders, the professional. Is a mariner like a lawful seafaring person but not like is a mariner an army? A mariner is just to someone who goes to the sea, takes to the sea. you're not a Navy person. You're not in an army or a military. You don't have to be. And you're not a pirate. You're just like the person who gets pirated. Well, I don't, yes, I suppose so. You're like a commercial.

I don't know if the term mariner specifically excludes pirates or not. Like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Right. Would attack mariners. Right. I guess. Again, I'm not sure that the term mariner specifically refers to people who are obeying the law.

You're a mariner until you're a pirate. I don't think that's why the name is used. I think it's people who are out on the sea. Also, I want to get back to birds in a second, but while we're on pirates, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I'm going to say something,

and I don't want you to think I'm dumb. Oh, boy. It's too late for that. But the Tampa Bay Buckaneers, one, weird that Tampa Bay, but Tampa's called Tampa, but not Tampa Bay. Like, while they named it Tampa Bay in the last 50 years,

I think they don't like term Tampa Bay anymore. It's like Tampa Bay is like the larger area. Okay. So that's one weird, but two, the Buccaneers. Is this a reference to like the pirates off the coast of Florida? Are we going back to like Ponce de Leon looking for the founder youth buccaneers in Florida? How far back is this is a buckingering. Because the old logo, sorry, the old logo looked old school.

Like. Buckaneers is an incredible word. Yeah, it is. It's a great name. Bucketeer. And also the logos are a kind of privateer or free sailor, particular to the Caribbean Sea during the 17th 18th century. So they're old school. 1600s, 1700s, 1700.

The logo is pretty metal. The old cremicle, like the old cremicle jerseys with, you know, like the guy, what's the dude that was on the helmet named? That's what I want to know. What? Did he have a name? I think he did. Jeff.

I think it was Jeff. Jeff the Bucking here. That's wild. Hold on. I'm going to look it up while you guys talk. Well, you do that also. The last bird one is Atlanta Falcons. Falcons are sick.

I just watch Shogun and Falcons won. Falcons are like the fastest bird in the world. And I don't know if they live in Atlanta, but did you know that Falcons that hunt in New York City? They hunt pigeons in New York and they're more successful in the city than they are in the wild at hunting because the skyscrapers is like a perfect environment for them to build up speed. Wow, that's a ton of Falcons.

Fun fact now. Yeah. Anyway, Falcons are cool. So cities are more aerodynamic for them because they can just like swoop down buildings? Yeah. Dive bomb. Yeah. because the environment's larger,

like more vertical. DK. Yeah. You found anything. Well, they got a guy who's their new mascot is called Captain Fear.

But I'm pretty sure. Okay, now I'm out. I'm out. Bad name. I'm pretty sure the guy is like Bucky the Buccaneer or something. Hold on. I'm trying to find it.

This guy looks weathered. Oh my God. Captain Fear. Can I also tell you my, wait. So when I worked for Washington back in the day. Josh Norman had signed there and I forget

when, but do you remember Josh Norman had this celebration that was like a bow and arrow? He just, it doesn't matter. But Josh Aaron, Josh Norman picked off some pass and he did a fake bow and arrow. And it was in Tampa Bay. And the NFL fined him. And Josh Norman gave this like interview later for he got a flag and everything.

And he gave this interview later. And he was like, I was told that I was fine for my weapon reference. For referencing a weapon. And he's like, the bow and arrow is in my head. It's imaginary. The stadium, they shoot fucking cannons every time they score a touchdown in the stadium. And they flagged me for referencing a weapon.

There are cannons in the stadium. I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. Did they rescind his fine? No. They shoot cannons in the stadium. Captain Fear. Captain Fear shoots cannons. And they were like, Josh Norman with the bow and arrow.

By the way, the old mascot guy that used to be on the helmet of the Buccaneers in that Creamsicle Days was Bucco Bruce. Bucco Bruce. Clinched a knife in his mouth, clenched a knife in his mouth. Pretty badass. Also, while on pirates, also the Raiders, which Vegas Raiders, it's just an iconic name at this point. Yeah. Raider, Raiders is not as cool as a cool as Buccaneer. Where did they come from, Oakland Raiders?

Los Angeles Raiders. Do they're pirates on the West Coast? I don't know. Yeah, probably. I think they just were Bay and one. water, Raiders. I don't know. Raiders. Raiders has become a cool name. It's one of the few. Yeah, Raiders is cool. No notes. Nice talk. Raiders. You nailed it. Bucketeers, meanwhile. I don't know. Kansas City Chiefs,

there's some notes. Some notes here. That's real. Yeah, everyone kind of knows what's going on there. Why aren't they changing it? Is that going to happen soon? I think the real answer is that they won the Super Bowl. They're too good right now to change the name. Yeah, I think that's honestly the answer. Like, part of the reason I think Washington changed is they were so. bad for so long that everyone's like, fuck these guys. Yeah, it's hard to change your name when you're at the top. It's like Emma Stone now wants to go by Emily Stone. And it's like, look, you just want an Oscar.

Is her name not Emma? Her name is Emily. I saw this, Craig. It was like the reason I became Danny Kelly in sports media because I was like Dan Kelly for the longest time. And when I joined SB Nation, there was already a Dan Kelly. So I just took Danny. And this is like Emma Stone.

there was already an Emily Stone in SAG or whatever it was. I don't know exactly how it works. So she had to like choose a different name. So people called her Emma growing up or whatever. I don't have that problem with Danny Hyphitz. Just me and the drummer for Mr. Bungle. I don't have that issue. Yeah.

Horrible. Yes, Gensi Chiefs, definitely some notes there. Have you ever met another Horlebeck in the wild? No. No, absolutely not. If anybody knows of a horoleck, please email me. Email us world next to Ringer Fantasy Football at Gmail.com.

Cleveland Browns were just named after Paul Brown like straight up. Paul Brown just like started the team and then they, this is a combo meal. Paul Brown, they named the team after him and then basically there was a falling out and he got kicked out and then he started the Cincinnati Bengals.

So they're in the same division, but the Bengals are owned by the family members of who the Brains. Isn't that weird? Think about it for a second. The people who own the Bengals go to the Browns games when they play and they're like, your team's named after my grandfather. Is that weird?

It is weird, yeah. What's the current coach whose name should be the NFL team? You mean owner? Or, well, he was a coach and owner, wasn't he? The New England Belichick's. I mean, that would work. Honestly, the Brady's. Player coach.

Fighting Brady's. The Kansas City reads. That's not bad. The Los Angeles Harbaugh's. Well, on that note, as I was going through this, I realized, what the fuck is a charger? Something to do with electricity. I don't think.

So they're really mixing metaphors here because they've had the logo at times where it's like the person holding the bolt. But I think it started as like a raid, like a charger. But then they leaned into the electricity thing. And it's a total mixed metaphor. I have no idea what they're going for. Yeah. If you look it up, it says that the original owner, Baron Hilton, who is the son of Conrad Hilton of Hilton hotels. Right.

He picked the name because he was at a Dodger game. game and he liked the way the fans were chanting charge. And he was like, that's cool. So kind of the rare case where he was just like, this word sounds cool. The Chargers. Are you telling me there's a world where Paris Hilton almost own this team? I guess so. What's she up to?

I think she's like an influencer. She's around. She has a couple kids, I think. All right. Other ones here. We're still going. We're not even like halfway through. Let's keep moving.

Hit the highlights here. Dallas Cowboys, no notes. Yeah, great. It's just incredible name. New York Giants. Kind of sucks.

What is that? Like, where does that come from? No idea. They don't lean into it. If you think about the Giants, what's weird is they in essentially no way whatsoever try to lead into the word giant.

They don't even try. I feel like the NFL team, the Giants, is just a derivative of how every team back in, the early or mid at 1900s was either the Giants or the Dodgers. I feel like every, every team was named the Giants for a while.

Yeah. Maybe it's just because people were small back then and it was intimidating to think about giants. Everyone was like five, six. They're like, what's a formidable character? Scary when you're big. Yeah.

What's a scary competitive icon? A giant person. A giant. Yeah. Well, that's like, that's like, all right. A giant. It reminds me of like the Chicago Bears and the Detroit Lions.

And I'm like, you just call it a lion from the Detroit. Like you just, I feel like that's like 100 years ago at the circus. And they're like, it's a lion. You don't like lion? Well, I don't. We have to decide, like, is it, it's either like the best name or does it have to, but there's no lions here. So it's kind of sick that they are lions.

Like, I guess maybe that's the first pick if you could draft it. Lion. It's up there. lions are scary I wouldn't want to encounter one I'm more okay with a team just picking a random cool animal than something that doesn't make sense

like the wizards so why are they no crocodiles or gators like the fact that Florida is the only college that is gator yeah that's a good call like just get more gators with so many sports teams in Florida how'd they pick the Tampa Bay Lightning

instead of the Tampa Bay Gators Tampa Bay Gators is cool like just be the gators I don't know the scary shit there is, man. I don't fuck with Gators. Do you guys like when teams teams are about like weather patterns?

Oh, like the thunder and the lightning. Lightning. That's pretty good. My favorite tweet ever is the guy who is like the Heat were playing the Raptors in the playoffs and they're like, I think Raptors versus Heat was settled 86 million years ago. Or like, I don't know. Like the hurricanes? Avalanche. Honestly, that's a little insensitive. I think that

there's a little PC to the avalanche. Like that's super dangerous. They kill people. I don't like that. Lightning doesn't kill people. Yeah. I'm very, I mean, not as many as avalanches. I feel like you, you want it to hurt people. You want to scare people. Thunder doesn't hurt anybody. Thunder is a loud noise. Oh, yeah. That's, oh, wow. That's thunder doesn't actually do anything. No. Huh. I don't like the weather pattern mascots. My high school mascot was storm. Really?

Yeah, it's dumb. it was between timber wolves and storm and they chose storm Timberwolves all-time like fumble there timber wolf really cool Timberwolf is incredible wolves are crazy yeah anytime you can add like a descriptor like an adjective to an already cool animal like to me like the Duke blue devils very cool yeah like timber wolf very cool it just like adds some some uniqueness

it just dawned on me that there's a high team named the Devils. Yeah. I mean, Arizona State is the Sun Devils. The Sun Devils is way... Sun Devils is pretty sick. Pretty cool. Wake Forest is the Demon Deacons?

Yeah, that's pretty cool. And their, yeah, their fucking mascot is like an actual deacon is like possessed. It's kind of wild. Yeah. Wow. They have a lot going on down there. Chicago Bears, which I have to ask, maybe the dumbest question I've ever asked, which are there Bears New Chicago?

We're there? Like 100 years ago. Probably. Yeah. But they just kind of went Why not? Somewhere in the woods. Kind of feels like they were early on. They're like, what's a badass animal?

Bear? Okay. Bears are scary. Where, do you want me to Google where are bears? Where do bears live? Are you going to do that? Sure.

Oh. I mean, I feel like it's hard to list them all. Yeah. There's bears live all over. Okay. Green Bay Packers. I feel like. they're in the in the general in the general vicinity of let me look up where bears are from

looks them up and goes bears are everywhere what's that well not everywhere but you know yeah basically all of northern all of northern united states and all of Canada okay um basically all of Russia and Sweden Norway you know all those all those countries up there It's like grizzly bears. That's a sicker. There's also many types of bears that live in Asia. There's some bears that live in South America. Bears ranging even into Mexico.

What about New Mexico? Are bears like dogs? Actually, yeah, maybe. What are bears? Are you guys kind of like dogs of the forest? Like, what are they? Bears are cool. Do you ever want to have a bad time, Google hairless bear?

If you ever want to have a bad time Also while we're at it don't Google Baby Horse Hubs All right that's the worst thing I've ever Have we talked about this? Yes, yeah Baby Horse Hubs will Change your life for the worst

Yeah, you don't want to do it A hairless bear That's pretty horrifying Yeah, holy shit It's kind of an ick It's like an owl With feathers On this note though

L.A. Rams To which I, what is a ram? Is a ram like a deer with horns? A deer? Like what is a ram? It's a sheep. It's a sheep, but aren't sheep kind of just like deer?

I don't think so. What do you mean by that? I don't know. They have four legs. Like, what's their taxonomy? Let me see. Okay, I'm Googling our sheep related to deer.

Are rams sheep? Like, what is a ram? I know what a ram is, but I also like can't define it. No, deer and goat are not part of the same taxon. How do you say that word?

Taxonomy. Texanomic. You don't find that surprising at all? Taxonomic. Is that what you're saying? I think that's what I'm saying. Is that a word? Taxonomic.

Male sheep are called rams. So the rams are sheep? Yes. That's an ick. It is kind of an ick. You tried to take it a full on charge from a sheep. It's going to hurt.

from a ram. This things will fuck you up. Again, they, did they just kind of pick an animal that's kind of mean and... Well, how about this? Have you ever seen Rams' butt heads?

It's kind of similar to the sport of football in some ways. In terms of making sense for a football team, the Rams might be the number one. That's a good one. Rams are out here playing football. The Rams are just in the trenches. This is how you build an NFL team in the trenches. Rams have a brand.

It's just been like lining up for a kickoff for their entire existence. It's literally their instinct to play football. Green Bay Packers. No, no, it's pretty good. Relic. Okay, so you've got to explain it for someone that doesn't understand. They're meat packers? I think they're cheese packers.

Cheese Packers. Can put that together? Well, I knew that they were packing something. They're not called the meatheads. Yeah, Packers, I don't know if Packers is cool. It's cool now. But if you, in a moment when they thought of it, like it's essentially like saying like

oh what do we do we fold laundry we're the Green Bay folders like yeah the Packer is inherently not a cool name it just has so much history and legacy that it works now but that's not cool at all by the way hi fits

go fuck yourself in 1919 curly Lambo sure who was the franchise's founder decided to start up a local football team in Green Bay Wisconsin at the time he was working for the meatpacking company Indian packing as a shipping clerk

Who's packing cheese? What are you talking about? Well, you got to put it, what is it called when you pack up cheese and ship it somewhere? People who ship cheese don't refer to themselves as packers. Those are the shippers.

Yeah. The meritors. I didn't actually, I didn't actually like fact check this, but yeah, whatever. Minnesota just gets the Vikings. We just gave them. Honestly, good move by them.

I mean, Minnesota is home to a lot of Nordic peoples in terms of immigrants. I saw something recently that there's no evidence that Vikings actually had horns on their helmets. Is that right? That's extremely disappointing. Why did you really need a horn on your helmet? How often were you like... This is scary as fuck. Ramming into somebody head first.

It's for the Riz. It's intimidation factor. Yeah. It's provocative. Samurai, I feel like, pretty surely did have horns on their helmets. And that was that's fucking scary when you see that. But wasn't it like it was like one central one, right? Samurai?

Yeah. I mean, I think they have like deer horns and whatnot. I've seen it in movies anyway. I haven't actually seen the story. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. I always thought it'd be funny if they allowed the Vikings to have horns on their helmets. Like the ramps.

Like the real. Oh, that would be cool. You get real, real horns on your helmets. It's grandfathered in because of the name. No one else can add them. Yeah, that's good. New Orleans Saints is kind of funny. It's a good bit.

It's similar in some ways to the Wizards. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Making miracles and whatnot. Why New Orleans? Why is New Orleans the Saints? I think it's like a bit. It's a bit? Oh, you think it's a joke?

Like New Orleans is a debauchery city, so we're going to go by the Saints? I don't think that's why. No way. I mean, not really, but it's how I interpret it. I feel like there was just a lot more like religious, you know. Yeah, the Catholic Church is big in that area back back through the day. Isn't it weird we just bought Louisiana like in a like a deal? We just bought it from France.

Isn't that kind of weird? Yeah, for a pick swap and a couple expirings. Yeah. That was like all the time. That was like right there at the Bryce Young trade. Do we hit everything? I think we did. I think we have fat the 49ers, which is kind of funny.

Oh, the 49ers. That's a great name. Kind of. Is it? It's, I mean, it's kind of, it's pretty bad name. honest. Why? It's named after all the people that flocked to the area in 49-ish. Yeah. In search for gold. It's fine. Gold. Yeah. I don't know. It's very unique, at least. What's cooler? The 76ers or the 49ers? The 76ers. I think the Niners have the better

color scheme. The Niners, Loki have one of the best color schemes. The Niners' uniforms are all-timers. Their logo is golden red makes the name work. The name wouldn't work without the color scheme. I even think the font of 49ers is well chosen. And I haven't really changed it over the years, which is what you should do. By the way, the team was named the Saints

due to its birthday on the Roman Catholic Church's All Saints Day, a fitting nickname for the team in a larger Catholic New Orleans area. Well, we did it. Wait, we forgot the Arizona Cardinals, which... That checks out. Yeah, not gonna lie. So the Cardinals were,

St. Louis, nay, Chicago. I don't know if I have any comments on Cardinals. They're cool birds, they're pretty. But I think what's weird... They're really nice. I like Cardinals. I think this is getting old. You start caring about birds.

Yeah. The Cardinal is the least formidable bird of all the other mascots. Yeah. Sports. They're more for show than anything, which honestly so is Kyler and the Cardinals. But the thing I wanted to talk about... Nervous birds. The Cardinals are like a super mob.

adjacent team. It's really like we don't talk about Michael Bidwell who owns the team. His grandfather was just like like a lawyer in Chicago like super like Al Capone adjacent. Kind of insane. He bought the team on a boat for two grand in cash. Wow. Two grand. 2000.

So the team had $45,000 in debt. He paid him five grand. Two in cash up front. And it was recorded as a $50,000 sale because he bought the debt. And that was worth $2 billion. $2,000 in cash. Not bad. Martin Scorsese, you should make a movie about that in Castanero right now.

So his, dude, literally it's like his grandfather owned the racetrack where Al Capone ran his operation out of. And then it's a whole thing. It's insane. Did you guys know that their mascot is called Big Red? And it's a red cardinal-like figure. What do you mean a Cardinal like figure? It looks like a Cardinal, the bird.

So it just is a Cardinal. Right. that's fucking why would it be cardinal like figure it's funny that was the description are you just reading that verbatim like yes yes yes he's read cardinal like figure it's a cardinal in a jersey it's a red cardinal like figure because it's not a cardinal it is a cardinal it's wearing a football uniform cardinals don't wear football uniforms hyphids and they don't have this kind of charisma 500 episodes thank you to everyone

thank you to everyone the minute at the end of this one wow um that's fun that's cool it's every week all summer we're not going anywhere probably not doing this again unless people liked it but probably not. Thank you, DK, thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Jack.

Thank you, everyone behind the scenes. Thank you everyone for listening. EMS or your fantasy football at gmail.com about other people named Toralbeck, birds, pirates. What was the other one? Logo facts.

Anything. What's up with the Tennessee? Did anyone else think that sheep and deer are related to each other? Was that, that's not a weird thing? You think that's like a not a crazy? Never crossed my mind. Ibex's climbing up.

Mountain sides. and they got the little horns. And I'm like, are those rams? But they're deer. Okay, I kind of see where you're going with that. Yeah, that's fine. Thank you, Lauren. Lord.

Thank you, the animals. Nice. House of the Rising Sun. Well done. That was real, real great work out of YouTube. Thanks. Remember that?

What was the thing Craig said earlier? I don't know. We said a lot. That was all-time Craig moment. Instead of the Washington stealth bombers, they could be the Washington Unabombers. That would be cool. Goodbye, everyone.

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