The Ringer NFL Show - Power Ranking NFL Season Storylines, as Told by ‘Elf’

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

The guys recap the 2024 NFL regular season (so far), as explained by quotes from the Christmas classic ‘Elf’ (3:29). Later, Fantasy Court and emails (45:49)! Check out our 2024 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens Producers: Kai Grady and Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up, guys, your boy Johnny Bananas here. The Challenge Season 40 Battle of the Eras is finally upon us. I'll be covering every episode with all your favorite challengers on my podcast, death taxes and bananas on the Ringer Reality TV podcast feed and on the brand new Ringer Reality TV YouTube channel where you can find full video episodes all season long. So buckle up. Come along with me as we see who will be crowned winner of the Challenge Season 40 Battle of

the eras. Follow Ringer reality TV on Spotify and subscribe to us on YouTube. Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color? Boo. Named. Nailed it. No, that was good. I like that. Thanks. My name is Danny Highfitz. I'm joined by Danny Kelly Kirk, Ropeck. And today we are going over the NFL season as told by Elf. We're recording this on Monday, December 23rd. This is our Christmas week episode. We don't have a Friday episode coming out this week. We want to do something a little special

for everyone over the holidays. So it's really simple. We're going to just tell the NFL season by elf quotes and we have no each other no idea what each other is going to say it's basically the vibe right Craig yeah i got to say also hi fits you have such a pretty face you should be on a christmas card just love smiling just love smiling damn you have such a pretty face you should be on a christmas card my favorite relationship in the entire movie is amy sedaris and will yeah you recognize me i'm wearing work clothes where did they send you from the north pole the north pole North Pole. Santa.

I think the first time I watched this movie, I did not have a child. And then I watched this last night. And I have a child now. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is exactly how Calvin acts in every situation. Elph is the last. The last good Christmas movie to come out. I'm willing to say that on the record. The last good Christmas movie to come out.

You're saying the Christmas movie has been made in 20 years? Wait, what about the holiday? The holiday. Not a good one. When was the holiday made? 2006 maybe, but I'm not counting that as a true blue Christmas movie. Well, I guess... That is quite a statement that I wasn't ready for.

That's a rom-com. Wait, this is derailing the whole show. Wait, that can't be right. You're telling me... It's the last Christmas classic. No, I think it's the last Christmas classic. We've lost the plot with comedy, with Christmas movies, with a lot. I think by the end of this...

I think we could come up with an idea for Christmas movie. I was actually thinking of an idea for Christmas movie watching an elf. I have an idea. We could do that at the end if you want. Yeah, sure. I'd love to hear it. Okay. If you, I'm going to forget.

Remind me, I'll tell you my basic kind of pitch for Christmas movie. I thought the night before was good. The Seth Rogen comedy? Yeah. I thought it was funny. Who else was in that? Is there Franco in there, Dave? No.

Yeah, Joseph Gordon Levitt. Oh, Levitt. Yeah, Franco was in that. I missed the night before. I'm not going to lie. Anthony Mackie. Mackey, right. Oh, pre-Marvel Mackey?

Pre-Marval. Oh, hyphen, too, would love it. I think it's actually really funny. Okay. Okay. This should be power. We should have just power ranked Christmas movies. I know, honestly.

Oh, yeah. It's a better idea. So, okay. Some way to put down for next year. It's a better idea. Damn it. That's good.

Stupid. We will save this for next year. All right. We'll do that next year. Hollywood. You got, you got fucking 12 months to come up with something better. We're just going to go right off the bat.

We're literally just going to quote the movie and talk about football. Does anyone feel anything particularly strong they want to lead off with? Because if not, I got some stuff. Can I start with a, can I just start with a, and a moose-bush. Just something very small

to get you going. The quote where Buddy goes, Francisco, that's fun to say. Francisco. The NFL version of that is Puka Nakuwa. Puka Nakuha. That's fun to say.

Just reading the book. Yeah. Puka Nakua. Yeah. Puka Nakua. I like that. It's like, I'm watching football. My mom's like,

who's that? Pooka Nakua. That's fun. Pooka Nakua turns everybody into Buddy the elf. Well, one related to that, just watching, but buddy,

like just way Will Ferrell eats in this movie. Oh my God. Syrup and everything and syrup on their candy and the pasta. He, Buddy the elf eats like Pooka dkemecalf.

Yeah, he does. Or like D.K. McCaff. Dude, I have the same thing. All the young ripped receivers who are really good eat like, like he's like the four main food groups like candy,

candy canes, candy corn, and syrup. That's literally D.K. Mekheff between his three practices a day. Is there sugar and syrup? Yes. Then yes.

Yes. Do you remember the story that Pooka Nakuwa, like just classic 22-year-old was just Google MacDonald's. He would just Google map his way to the Rams facility and then because it's LA traffic, it took him a different way every day. And so he would just eat whatever fast food he passed on the way to the Rams facility back home.

That was what he ate. That is a true sign. Like when you are like literally built differently than other people is when you can just eat candy and fast food and be a professional athlete. Like you are actually different than normal people. That's D.K. McCaff. He's just doing the buddy the elf with the two-liter cola.

And he's just like to chug in. the Coca-Cola. I didn't even know you can do that. That's so funny. I had that exactly. The four main food groups for receivers. DK, got anything? Well, you bet it's the beginning of the show.

It's a pretty bad question by me. Do I got anything? Got anything? Got any jokes? One thing, this isn't necessarily like a quote, but just a scene in the movie that reminded me of the NFL in a certain way, was the snowball fight scene where Buddy the elf has like a gatling gun for an arm when it comes to like the snowballs.

It just reminded me. of like jaded Daniels because look look I was initially a little bit skeptical that like his skill set and the way that he won the Heisman was going to translate directly to the NFL and sure enough it did like immediately it was like apparent almost like within

like a few minutes of his first game that this guy is like different and he's special and I just kind of had that feeling when like the kid his brother is like a little skeptical of this guy's fucking weird guy is like following me around and then they get into the snowball fight and he's just got like the fucking cannon then he hits the guy from like 150 yards away or whatever.

I think the sneaky best part of comedies, or I should say the sneaky reason why the best comedic actors are as good as they are is because they're kind of athletic. And Will Ferrell is a little bit athletic. All of the best comedies are people who have a sense of athletic.

You're Chris Farley's, people like Adam Sandler, like all these guys actually played sports and are athletic. And Will Ferrell is athletic. They can do physical comedy. Yes, and they're coordinated and they know how to move.

And it's like why a lot of these Will Ferrell comedies have all been really good is because he quietly is super coordinated. And he's huge. He's huge. That's actually like a big reason this movie worked is because he's a massive human being. If he was 5'8, they couldn't have cast him.

Right. How tall is Will Ferrell? He's like 6'4. Oh, wow. He's a big guy. Plus with the hair, he's like 6'7. It's true that with Jaydon Daniels is 6'4. So there you go. I think it's funny that like we did this with LSU twice in five years where it's like Joe Burrow won the highest. My dad discovered him, thankfully because my dad discovered Joe

Burrow that he was, to the high's been in the first pick in the draft. And we're like, well, Jamar Chase is like the best prospect in years. So how good is Justin Jefferson, right? He's got to be drafting off the fumes. And they're like, actually, Justin Jefferson is also the best receiving in the NFL. And then five years later, we're like, Jen, Daniels. And he has Malik neighbors and Brian Thomas.

And we're like, oh, well, Brian Thomas, they're actually just the three of the best five players in this draft. We're all the same team. The other quote that brought Jane Daniels to mind was when he's like, why you smile and like that? And buddy just goes, I like to smile. Smiling's my favorite. Just feel like every time you see Jane Daniels, he's just, he's just, smiling. He's got that charisma to him, you know? He's, I think that's a big part of the reason he is like what, what we've seen, a program

changer, like a culture changer, like foundational piece for the, for the commanders is because he's got like this gravitas. I think Joe Burrell kind of has that too where it's like just, guys just believe in you. They rally around you and like they know that you're confident. They know that you're not going to like, you know, turn into yourself and brood or whatever it is when times get tough you're just going to come back and play and just the style that he plays with so anyways Jane Daniels obviously huge huge

story in the season so I kept seeing him in this movie I love the next line is when he's like just love smiling smile and then the manager of the work is just like you know why don't you love work? Start love of work okay work focus on your job did you guys when

buddy is talking about when he sees the toilets that the non-north pole toilets a regular size toilets and he goes Have you seen these toilets? They're ginormous. That to me is what Darren Rizzy said. First day as new head coach walked into the office. Good one.

Wow. Private bathroom in here? He's peering over the stalls with the guy next to him. Have he seen these? They're ginormous. Oh, man. Put the over under on Darren Rizzy clogging a toilet mentions in the show to what minute are we out here, 12 minutes?

Do you guys think that his quickly going back to the, the four main food groups. Do you guys think his spaghetti sugar salad looked awesome because I did? I honestly, Craig, I'm not kidding. I was watching this after the games last night at like 11 o'clock. He kept eating spaghetti and eating all this candy. I had to go eat something because I got so hungry. Sugar.

Like syrup on pasta sounds great. But he had maranero sauce on it. I know. That kind of sounds good. It kind of works. Let's try it. When he crushes the Pop-Tarts into it, I was kind of like, this is working for me. Hold up.

Let him cook. working for me. The bag of this like the big plastic bag of spaghetti. I'm like that kind of looks good. I'm not kidding. I 100% agree.

I like unironically agree. That looks good. I would take that to look. That's what D.K. McCaffee's at halftime. Just carboloding. Spaghetti with syrup and pop tarts. Okay. My

I love the beginning of the movie when the with the montage of again how big Will Ferrell is. And he's like the montage of like, like buddy the elf is not fitting in with any of the other elves and he's like too big for the shower and he's too big to fit the bed and he's in the desk and he's huge and then trying to make the toys and he can't make him and he's like I'm going to be a little short in today's quota guys the whole thing just reminds me of Anthony Richardson with the cults he's just too big he's too big he doesn't fit he's not really he's too big and he's like hey shade I'm not going to make

today's quota you're like how many completions did you make Anthony he's like seven he's the first quarterback in the league where they need to make the ball bigger. Yeah. It's like why you guys can't shoot, like free throws and the setters? Is this like where Stuyken goes up to Flacco later? And he's like, hey, man, can you help me out? This guy over here, he's holding his back. I'm like way, way behind on my quota.

Can you finish these extra sketches? If he doesn't realize he can't throw the football now, I don't know what he ever will. Yeah. You guys know really the whole ethos of this movie, Christmas Spirit is about believing, not seeing. That did kind of make me feel for all of the tortured fan bases out there, like the Jets every year. It's really not about seeing.

It's about believing. It's not about what you're seeing on the field with Aaron. Trust the process. It's about believing that next year things could be different. And the Christmas spirit, you know, I hope it affects Jets fans very positively this holiday season because they need it more than anything. They need to believe because they can't see.

If James Kahn, who has one of the all-time great, like, 180-degree turns in the middle of this movie, goes from being, like, the biggest asshole in the world. To, like, all of a sudden, he's like, you know what? Fuck you. I'm quitting my job because my son has to be one thing. I was like, I was like watching it last night. I was like, wow, this. We missed like a little plot step here, I think, at one point.

We're going to take a $30,000 bath so a couple of kids can find out what happened to a pigeon and a dog. I don't think so. James Kahn, by the way. just plays the best asshole. He's the best, dude. Rest the peace, he's the goat. I saw this viral tweet this week where someone was like, I tried to sit down and show my daughter the godfather

and 20 minutes in. She's like, this dude's the dad and elf and went to sleep. Sonny Corleone's like, like banging some woman in a stairwell on the godfather. He's like, the dad and elf. By the way, like there was a Will Ferrell interview a little while ago.

I can't remember when exactly it was. But he talked about how like James Conn, like actually didn't like Will Ferrell during the filming of this and he thought he was like an over the top idiot and he was like making he was like what am I doing how did I get involved in this movie? The ultimate paycheck movie turned out to be a classic I love

what that happened. Farrell said that saving private Ryan when like he just had Matt Damon do a two week stay in Hawaii while he took everyone else in the movie and like sent them to like actual boot camp so that they really hate Matt Damon when they all got to film together. I love stuff like that. He said at the end of the movie or sorry at the end of

the premiere James Con came up to him and was like, by the way, I thought you were an obnoxious, dumbass basically during the entire filming of this, but after watching a movie, I really get it. You did a great job. That's funny. So anyways,

I was like thinking that the whole time I was watching this movie, like James Conn is actually like fucking hates this guy. While we're on the Jets thing, I have so many Jets. This movie reminded me the Jets for so many reasons that I actually, I have a whole list. I had to cut some because I had too many Jets ones. Well, he's wearing a Jets jersey.

The kid is what Michael is wearing. He's wearing a jet's, Crubette. All right, let me see. Should I just start making my way through these? Okay, here. Yeah, let's do the jets. There's so many Jets ones.

First of all, when he's like, how'd you get here, buddy? He's like, I passed through the seven levels of the candy cane forest. I wrote this down. Swirly, twirly gum drops. And then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel. I'm like, that's Aaron Rogers coming back from his ayahuasca trip to the Jets. Yes.

He's like, by the way, I passed through the pyramids of Giza and then the mountains of Peru and then the Lincoln Tunnel. And then we lost seven games. This is like, I feel like, New York Inside joke. I don't know what the Lincoln Tunnel is. Is it like one of the worst places in the world or something? It's just a tunnel into New York City.

Okay. One of the one of the important ways to get into the city. If Rogers leaves the Jets, I imagine his note will be on an etch of sketch and it'll say, I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed 11 cookies into the VCR. For that one, Craig, I wrote down Cadarius, Tony. He went from Super Bowl hero to the worst player in the NFL. I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed 11 cookies in the VCR. I don't belong here.

11 cookies. I love really specific stuff about like whoever was writing this decided on a number. And they landed that 11 was the perfect amount. They had to like go through it and do it. How many can we fit in here? I had Will Levis for that. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.

Oh, that's a good one. It's true. Oh. Do you guys have you guys ever seen a VCR? Yeah, dude, I grew up with the VCR. How dare you? Just checking. What else you got in the Jets?

When they piss off Peter Dinklage in the meeting. And like, buddy's calling him an elf. and he's like, listen, guy, I get more action at a week than you get in your whole life. And then they're going back and forth and he's like,

I've got houses in L.A. I got a house in Paris, Vail. And I was like, that's Brick Johnson this week whenever it's making fun of him. And he's like, I get more action than all you guys

in a week than your whole life. L.A., Paris, Vail. You think you're like making fun of me? No, that's good. He's getting escorted out of the building on Draft Night. He's like, no, no, Woody Johnson's my father.

I'm like, sure it is, buddy. Go back to the North Pole. the Jets, I will say though, do you, I know we're joking about it and then we were serious and now it's like half joke, half serious, maybe actually fully serious. Do we actually think there's any chance the Jets running back with Aaron Rogers?

Because like I actually have come around. We'll see how they play this week because, you know, they did get nine points against the Rams? They can't act. Are they, they're not actually going to bring them back, right? Even though I kind of think they may be, should think about it. But like, it's too cancerous.

What is their other, their other solution is to what? Just like start Tyrod Taylor for a year in tank? Honestly, like yeah. It's, I mean, because Donald, I think Donald either stays in Minnesota. He's not going to jets. How long is Devante Adams under contract?

You could restructure them. You could get rid of them. Because I feel like that's a domino too. But you can't make your organizational decisions on Aaron Rogers. And I also think, frankly, the quality of head coach and GM you get might depend on based on what you want to do. It's weird because in a way, it's like the right move. On the other hand, it's like, I don't know.

He's so, he's like, his tentacles are all over this thing in a way that it's like, you probably got to burn it. I know. Like, it's funny to be like they should run it back, and maybe they should, but it's just, it's so toxic. Yeah, there's truly no other viable solution other than to actually just start the worst quarterback in the league next year and tank, which is maybe probably what you should do. And the other thing is because people are like, oh, well, Darnold's around, James is around. Like, there's a reason these guys are bouncing around. I don't know.

I'm also, my whole thing with the Darnold thing is the lesson from the Sam Darnold's situation with the Vikings, I feel like it's not Sam Darnold's good and should play quarterback for a team. like the writers are giant. It's like, oh, he's good now, I guess. Yeah, the lesson is if you have the Vikings where you have two, like Justin Jefferson and another first round receiver and T.J. Hawkinson, a good offensive line and a great play calling head coach, then you'd be surprised how many quarterbacks can do really well in that system. It's not like Sam Darnels can play for the fucking Raiders now because he went to the Vikings for one

year. It's like Daniel Jones will be perfectly good for the Vikings for $2 million. Yeah. Do you think there's a chance that this could have happened to Zach Wilson anywhere or no? Honestly, I've been thinking about that in Denver. I've been thinking about that. I would say probably not. Because I'm trying to think of like top three overall picks.

I guess Trey Lance is in this category, too, of guys who flamed out on one disaster of a team and were never given another shot. I think that the Zach's problem is it's the exact opposite of Bonex, where Zach Wilson had this crazy talent that tantalized teams and like ignored all this stuff, but he didn't, he doesn't get enough reps to understand how to deal with pressure and like, you know, he's playing BYU, like he wasn't dealing with like real pass rush and all this stuff.

whereas Bo Nix, like he does not have any of the physical armed talent that Zack Wilson has, but I mean, Bo Nix did the most starts in the history of college, which I was super wrong about Bo Nix because I basically was like, I looked at it the wrong way, where I was like, well, I mean, you could say in a way, I think, I was like wrong and right. I was wrong about Bo Nix this season. And I think we said he could succeed in a very specific context. And I looked at Bo Nix as like having, if you needed that many,

if you needed 60 starts in college to be good in college, like I was like, that's not good. But the flip side is he got tall enough to get on the ride to ride the roller coaster being an NFL quarterback if for like a Sean Payton or an Andy Reid where you can just execute this offense, you don't need crazy armed talent. I don't know if Zach Wilson is tall enough

to like get in and play. Like, Sean Payton is the biggest playbook in the NFL. Like I don't know if Zach Wilson could do that. But I don't know. I think the lesson of all this is humility for across the board this year with quarterback. DK, is there a single top three quarterback that is currently a bust in the NFL

that you think if placed on, let's say the Vikings and the Kevin O'Connell system could actually come back and maybe work. Is there another guy out there that could pull the Darnold? Give me some examples of who. Daniel Jones? Daniel Jones? Daniel Jones, we have Traylance.

We have Zach Wilson. Justin Fields. Yeah, I do think so. Yeah. I think Daniel Jones is we're going to fall for the trap of Daniel. I think the Daniel Jones thing. We will. I know we've talked about Daniel Jones a lot.

But one thing that does never get, and I wish I. brought this up more is he actually has a Carson Wentz like thing to him where he got hurt and wasn't the same anymore but no one ever talks about it that way where it's like Carson Wentz towards ACL came back wasn't the same athlete and no one ever talks about the knee injury changing his trajectory Daniel Jones had a neck injury which is a spinal injury and he his deep ball accuracy before and after is like night and day Daniel Jones everyone forgets 2019 super aggressive downfield passer so strength neck injury hasn't been able through deep ever since

his game's all different I don't don't know if that stuff comes back, but I also wouldn't be shocked if it gets better. I assume it probably won't. But if it did, it'd be like, oh, yeah, the guy with the neck injury like a year or two ago, like once that, like, you know, if it's able to heal, I wouldn't be surprised if he's way better. But no one ever talks about that with him where it's like, it's like Marcus Moriota. He had a nerve injury at his elbow and ended his career, basically. That's why he's a backup. But I don't know, it's weird as some guys never get boxed like that. I actually had a Daniel Jones thought in this movie. You know how Buddy the elf

constantly just keeps getting hit by cabs when he's. crossing the street. Like just Daniel Jones in the pocket, like no fucking awareness of anything around him. Just always constantly getting, High Fitz used to say he worries about him crossing the street. Every time there's this one scene where he just gets like

tailed by the the cab and kind of just like flips up on. He just like a heart at rock like hard as a board. He just flips over and then like slides down the front. Do I ever tell you guys at the time like a hit by a cab in New York City? No. Why? What's the ringer people getting hit by cars so much? So I was

I was out of Rangers hockey game. Kevin Clark. Underage, I was pretty drunk. And we were going back to Grin Central. And I was crossing the street. And also relatedly, Dane Cook, who was huge and it doesn't exist basically anymore in popular culture. He's still around. The first big comedian on iTunes, I remember getting on iTunes gift cards or whatever.

And he got like Dan Cook albums. And he had this bit about, like, I never understood it. But it was like, you get hit by car, your shoes come off. I didn't really understand that. Anyway, yeah, yeah. Fast forward. I'm like crossing the street. I leave my phone in the cap.

And I sprint back across the street, get my phone. from the cab driver and I run back did not have to run back across the street. Can't stress this enough but I was very drunk and I get hit by a cat

and I just blink and I'm on top of the cab on the windshield making eye contact with the driver and I'm like I just blink and I was like running Tuesday and I'm just oh my God and he stops

and I just go flying off and I land on my feet and I'm really I'm teetering and I realize my shoes are both half off and I'm like teetering on my shoes and I stick

the landing and I'm like, uh, and the guy gets out. I was like, are you okay? And all I could think was holy shit, Dane Cook was right. So your shoes came off a little bit? Oh, yeah, totally half off. I don't know how they fly off. I can't believe you landed on your feet after. I mean, neither. That's why I was shocked. Good for you. No injuries? Did you kind of shake it off? Go about your night? So this happened. Oh my God. This is like the 10 year anniversary. This is December 23rd. the next day by Christmas Eve, I tell the story my friend's dad is like, so is the cab okay? Hey!

Did you dent the hood? I don't know. The guy was just thrilled that I didn't have any want to sue him. Yeah, seriously. On that, okay, wait, I got another one here right now. Any other cab hit it once? Watch out. The yellow ones don't stop. I feel like one of the most iconic shots of the movie is him jumping on the crosswalk, only the white lines. Wait, another.

one here. When Wilfro goes back to the Christmas store after he gets fired. And Zoe DeCinell is like, buddy, what are you doing here? Did you get your job back? And he's like, no, no, no. It worked out pretty good. They gave me a restraining order. That's Deshawn Watson.

Oh, Jesus. Can I just say, Zoe DeCinell, this movie 2003, I was nine. I think it's my first crush on film. Really? Really? Wow. Yeah. Beautiful singing about. Yeah, I don't know. She's something about it. I became a man that day.

Okay. I sing that song in the shower because of them. Baby, it's cold outside. Oh, wow. So he became a man to singing it in the shower. Great acoustics in there. Yeah, long showers. Thinking about her in the shower. Just her voice. Just her beautiful voice. That's it.

But anyway. Jovi. Jovee. Yeah. Blonde Zoe. I don't know if we seen. Just like red-headed. almost. Is it blonde, isn't she? Well,

yeah, I don't know. Kind of blonde, kind of red-headed. I haven't heard the name Jovi before since I don't think I have either. I was just going to ask that.

Is that like a name or is that like a reference? Until I name my first child, Jovey. Is Jovey like a reference to Christmas somehow? Like jovial? Joy to the world. Oh, jovial?

Joveal Christmas related? I don't. I think that word just means happy. The Reddit's the best. I just Googled Jovie. And there's just a Reddit. thread. It's called thoughts on the name Jovi. There's a Reddit thread about that. Reddit has

something for fucking everything. I solve most of my problems in life by going to a Reddit thread. There's a great meme of just like, you know that meme of the night like paying like homage to the skeleton? No. You see that? There's a guy like just like a knight like kneeling with a skeleton. And it's like me versus like some person

of Reddit who had the exact same problem 12 years ago. There's just everything. There are 18 comments on this thread. 18 comments. Maybe Bon Jovi. Maybe she was named after Bon Jovi. What do you guys think of the name Jovi? Sure. Craig's going to name his kid that.

Yeah. Jovi and Buddy. Buddy. Buddy. What do you ever call it? I love when he hits all the, um, presses every button in the elevator. He gets off halfway.

Sorry, I have to get off now. This is where my dad works. I think that was also kind of Will Levis coded. hitting all the buttons. Yeah. So Will Leather's kind of just is Buddy the elf, I think. The other one,

I love when the manager comes back to the store and he sees everything that Buddy did overnight and he's got like snowflakes everywhere and train sets and Legos and he's got like this winter wonderland it looks amazing

and he's got like Mona Lisa on the etches sketch and he's like his jaw like drops and I feel like that was Dave Kinellis watching Bryce Young come back as the starter and he's just like drop like Bryce Young's just dropping

bombs like to beat the, you should have beat the Eagles of like the 98 yard touchdown drives. And he's like, where'd you say you were from again? Where does that guy that, what does that guy say? He's like, this could be a message coming down from corporate. Yeah, someone's coming from my job. Liam, David Tepard is a little too good. And he has like a code. Like, keep your eyes up.

Call me on channel three. Six inch ribbons. The code word is Santa's got a big new bag or something. Brad new bag. I do think that we're going to do the fantasy rewatchables in the season a couple weeks. I was thinking about that too. And I do think one of the big themes of the season is being really humble about quarterbacks. Because between Bo Nix immediately, I mean, the Broncos is going to go to the playoffs.

And I'm not even just talking about Bo Nix. I mean, the Broncos is going to go to the playoffs with Bo Nix as rookie quarterback. And $90 million of their dead cap. You have Bryce Young, who we were making fun of the Bryce Young trade, mid-October. Like, we, Bryce Young's career was dead. And, and then you look across and you're like, all these quarterbacks between like Anthony Richardson before and after the penching entering the season, I, I just think that like,

Sam Darnold, I mean, the Vikings might get the number one seed in the NFC. And I don't know, Gino in Seattle, like, you're just looking around Baker with Tampa ripping it. I just think it is worth really, really truly, truly taking a step back and assessing, like, what actually goes into quarterback play. And the Bryce Young might, the confidence with Bryce Young is which play, with this post-benching thing. I don't know what happened to them.

Sometimes maybe we just forget these guys are 22 or 23 years old. But the Bryce Young thing, I feel like I need to spend years thinking about what the fuck just happened to Carolina. I think it's not like the biggest story of the season, but it's crazy that like it was one of the few things everyone could agree on was that Bryce Young

was probably one of the worst picks in recent years. And now he looks like a totally viable starter. And it's interesting because I think everybody kind of decided that he physically didn't have it. And it turns out it was actually that he maybe mentally didn't have it and he physically does. And now the mental side has come back around and the physical stuff was always there. And it's like he's still an outlier, but like you're seeing what the skill set was that made, like DECA that made everyone believe that he could do it despite being

a physical outlier. Yeah. Yeah. There was like moments even like you said at the beginning of this year where I was like, God, what the fuck were we even like seeing in college that we got so tricked by this? And I have that same feeling with Zach Wilson too. I'm like, Zach Wilson can barely complete a pass. I mean, it's like, how did we think this guy? And that was the consensus. A lot of people really liked him. Obviously, he wasn't like, people like maybe Fields more, whoever, Mac Jones more, whatever, Trey Lance.

But he was a consensus top 10 pick, right? Like, everybody thought, oh, this guy should go on the top 10. Not everybody, but, like, majority. And then he comes into the NFL and he's like, absolutely, like, cannot run an offense. He can't run a play. And I remember having that feeling with Bryce where I was just like, man, like, what were we fucking looking at? And now the way he plays, I'm like, oh, yeah, this reminds me so much of what he was like in college. Like he's, you know, floating passes with perfect touch over a defender, you know,

making like jump passes, getting out of the pocket, doing like the magical stuff that he does. Also like obviously running stuff from the, you know, scheme and everything like that, like from the pocket. But yeah, it's just, it is one of those things where it's like you almost like start to question like your memory on something. It's like when you like remember something when you're a kid. You're like, that's not how I remember it. But I don't know. It's just like one of those things. that's very strange.

And you can get better. You can improve. And confidence is so crucial. Craig, you said it. Like, it wasn't the physical stuff, but I think the confidence was manifesting as like it looks like you physically can't do this. It's crazy.

This is just anecdotal. But thinking back, I can't believe Hyvitz going back to talk about, you know, being humble and these rookie quarterbacks. We're going to have probably three rookie quarterbacks in the playoffs. When is the last time that's happened?

If the Falcons can sneak in and win the NFC South, it'll be Pennix, Daniels, and Bo Nix. I mean, I'm looking back at all these quarterbacks, class is, I can't even see a time when, when two rookies have made the playoffs. And it's funny, because we always talk about the hit rate, all six are going to work.

Because I think McCarthy's going to work in this Viking situation, too, frankly, it's like, I mean, if he gets the keys in Minnesota, it's, he has to be, frankly, he has to be pretty bad to not succeed in this situation. I mean, we're going to look back on this as maybe the best quarterback draft class in like a decade. I mean, cool. Giants passed on three of them. That's cool. Six for six. If we go six for six, I mean, I'm, but that's probably never happened before. I'm going to be really sad when the Giants, I mean, the Giants are going to take a quarterback this year.

It won't work. I will say the Giants are going to get shit for not taking one of these, but I will say Bo Nix would not have succeeded in the, with the Giants. And I also, you can't say that with a lot of these, these quarterbacks from this draft too, though. The best, if you look,

the, the only other class that feels somewhat comparable, 2012, you had Luck, RG3, Tannahill, Russell, Wilson, Nick Foles and Kirk Cousins. But those weren't, that wasn't six in a row. But yeah. Also, like a, year from now, how are we going to be looking at this quarterback class?

That's like, wow. Pretty good. I think it's going to age pretty quickly. I know, but I would have thought the same thing with like fucking Stroud. I was not expecting a Stroud to regress the way he's regressed. Yeah, but we still think he's awesome. Now we know everything. Yeah, I still think Stroud is awesome, to be clear, but like, I don't know, it's one of those

things where development is never, not always linear. You know what I mean? Like guys will go have like a really good year, really bad year. And then, you know, sometimes teams give up on those guys before they should. That's why. Lerge later like Baker Mayfield or whatever. That's why I'm still holding out hope for myself to get back in the league. Yeah, absolutely.

It's never too late. You could beat out Easton Stick to be that Chargers third stringer. You think? Skyler Thompson, come on. Eastern Stick sucks. Speaking of, oh, I do. Scott Thompson, I got a Dolphins one. Eastern Stick does suck.

Sorry, Easton Stick. And the Stick family. I have a Dolphins one. Well, it's just, dude, honestly, I don't rewatch one of the funny. lines of the fucking movie. It's so weird, but it's like, they've read Peter Dinklage as like this perfect author to like write a children's book on the fly.

And they're like, so Peter, what do you think of a tomato who lives on a farm? And he's like, no, tomato, too vulnerable, two vulnerable kids already vulnerable. You can't. It's beside farm. Everyone's doing small town rural. You can't, if you do small town rural, you're going to get lost to the white noise. And I was like, honestly, that's the dolphins offense. It's like, you can't just do cheap motion. anymore. Everyone's doing it. You get lost to the white noise. Hickey, come on. Tua,

too vulnerable. You know what somebody said about Tua the other day, and I had, something I've always noticed, but never really fully kind of like crystallized in my brain is that Tua tells you where he's passing the ball by turning his shoulders so much. Like, he really faces where he's going to throw, and it was the announcer, it was, it was Romo.

And he was like, no other quarterback in the league signals where they're going to pass with their body language more than Tua. I know that I am, I feel like D.K. is now the Tua defender, and I feel like increasingly I am like an anti and I'm not anti-tua like I just I don't know it's like the pro it's not the pros and cons it's the pros are the cons and I think to your point Craig a lot of what toa gets credited for as anticipation is often predetermined reads and I think that

that's something that's like you never are going to be able to like fully understand which is which with a quarterback but I do think there are plenty of situations including like a pick you had this week where it's just like yeah like you know like imagine you were playing shortstop but you were left-handed and so every time you fielded at a grounder you would have to kind of turn your body all the way around to throw it to first. That's kind of like what, too, it looks like every time he's going to throw to one side of the field. And it is a massive, it's a massive, like, tell.

And I think a lot of guys are a bit can just, you know, good quarterbacks. You kind of stay centered and it's right at the end and it's quick and you can do different arm angles. But he really, like, directs his shoulders wherever he's going to go. And it's kind of like in baseball. Like now the whole thing is like pitch tunneling where it's like you want every pitch to look like your pitch is as long as humanly possible. And they're using crazy science and tracking.

And it's like, two is kind of like the opposite. It's like from the beginning, you know where it's, yeah. The overlays of those pitches are so cool. Have you guys ever seen those? Baseball is crazy. Yeah, it's super cool. Like, you can throw like a huge arching, you know, like curveball and a fastball. And it's like coming out like it looks almost exactly the same as wild.

I have one. This one's like a deep cut. And if you haven't rewatched the movie lately, it's like you're probably not going to get it. So I'm going to throw you guys a screenshot of this guy. But there is a, there's a scene in the movie where Buddy goes and he works in, the mail room with a guy who's on work release from prison. That part is really funny. And they're like, you know, hanging out, doing some work, get drunk together.

They're talking. And this guy, this guy goes, I'm 26 years old. I've got nothing to show for it. I had to like, fucking stop the movie and be like, this guy, he looks 50. He looks like 50 years old. I don't think he's 26. No, obviously. But I was just like, this guy, like, 26 year old thing, like really sent me for a loop.

I had to go look it up. His name is Mark Atchison. He was born in 1957. He was 46 when this movie was shot. And he was like, and apparently I looked it up, like, apparently he was supposed to be something for a different scene. And they like cut that scene out. So they put him in here instead. And they just like kept the lines from whatever it is they were going to say.

But anyways, the reason I bring it up is because there's been actually kind of a lot of talk that Kyle Shannahan looks kind of like a president after four years in office where he's just like super weathered and like old. And he's like 46. Like that's, or Shanahan is, how old is she? He's 45. And he's like, that's like relatively young. I still think in like the coaching ranks. Like fucking Belichick is 70 something. Pete Carroll was 70 something.

And he just looks so tired and so just drained. From losing two Super Bowls, really a third as an offensive coordinator. The Falcons 20 to 3 one was the way here's the coordinator. Like the worst Super Bowl to lose. Yes. Plus two Super Bowls with the 49ers. Plus two conference finals. One of which to his best friend, Sean McVeigh,

in a game that Jekwis guitar dropped it, arm punt from a... He's a tragic character. It's like wild how quickly he's aging. Now his team is like imploding this year. There's talk of like whatever, you know, I don't know what's going to happen with him going forward. Like they're going to have to sign Brock Purdy to a massive contract.

Who knows what's going to happen with this team going forward? I just saw that. I'm 26 years old. I've got nothing to show for it. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up Kyle shit. I didn't mean to sound so mean to Kyle Shanahan. His hair is just a completely different color now. You go gray.

Well, I was the Shannon thing. So there's Seth Wickershick's book on Brady and Belichick and Kraft. It's called Better to Be Feared. There's a great section where he goes and talks to Mike Shanahan. And it's the chapter starts with like Mike Shanahan has like two Super Bowl wins. I believe you know the 97. I mean, he had others as coordinator with the 49ers, but like to his head coach with Elway and the Broncos. And the conversation's basically like, why wasn't Mike Shanahan Bill Belichick?

like why did Mike Shannon out of six Super Bowl wins? And Mike Shanan, the conversation's about everyone else sees Mike Shannon having two Super Bowls and Shanahan sees the four that he should have won. And I think that the true weight, not to get all fucking armchair psychologist, I've never met Kyle Shanahan. But frankly, I think that like deep down,

it's like in his head, it's like there's a subconscious, like you're carrying on your father's legacy because like Kyle Shannon literally there's a world. That's brutal. But he has five Super Bowl wins at 45 years old. Like they should have won the Falcons one. he could have they were leading in the both games against the chiefs in the second half and if they had beaten the rams they probably would have beaten the bengals like he could very very easily have four Super Bowl wins right now in a six year is seven I mean I take it like I feel like fans take on like a heavy part of that but like imagine being the fucking coach of those teams oh my god imagine how much you carry those people like it's people like it's it's hard to imagine how much of responsibility it is it's literally the life sucked out of that man yeah but I mean it's like when you guys you guys both

at different points had like takes before the season and I could I would not buy in on it. I was like no way. The 49ers aren't killable. That the 49ers were going to have a tough year and implode and you know like all the reasons. Injury is big part of it too. Of course. Like in you just sometimes.

I think the main thing. But like I just didn't really buy what you guys were saying. But it's absolutely happened. And it's just because it's so, so hard to get back to the top of the mountain when you guys when like you put so much into that and then you fall short. If it's like, psychologically, it's like just so fucking hard to do that. I'm surprised we don't have a coach out there smoking cigarettes on the sideline. Bring it back this shit?

Yeah. If Shanahan wanted to lie at the dark. Who would be the guy to do it? McDaniel. We already thought McDaniel was going to jewel on the sideline. And he was like, it's cold breath. Yeah, I can see that. Just like the Ben Affleck memes.

Oh, my God. Yeah, we should finish up that tattoo in Shanahan's back. The other one that just, this is really, quick, but he's like when buddy first gets to New York City and he's walking around like and he gets the cup, it says world's best cup of coffee. He's like, World's best cup of coffee! We did it! We did it! And I just thought immediately

of Woody Johnson giving his press conference, this is the best Jets team of I've ever had. Yeah. We did it. Best Jets team of my life. You know, I had that for a shout out to all the five and six seeds this year who end up winning their leagues this year. You did it. Congratulations. World's best cup of coffee. You're the best

team. Congratulations. It's like bullshit. You're the best team. You got the best team. the Falcons. You got fucking lucky. Dude, I lost in this league with Jackie's friends and like shout to

someone who, shout out Molly, who beat me this week, added the Falcons defense, drafted Brandon Aubrey in the 10th round and that shit was like 50 points. That's like 40 points.

Yeah, that's wild. Do you guys remember, you guys remember the Steelers Browns game in the snow and James was like in a state of euphoria

they beat the Steelers? Yeah. Do you know the line from Elf when James Kahn is talking about buddy? He's like, he loves the snow. He told me 15 times. That was that's the whole.

think about James Winston. He loves the snow. He told me 15 times. Are you guys got anything else? Or you want to do some fantasy court? I got one thing. Let me see here. Hold on. I got two things actually I want to talk about. The first thought I had

when I was watching at the beginning, he's like, I'm a cotton-headed nanny muggins. He's like, oh, buddy, you're not a cotton-headed nanny muggins. We all have different talents, that's all. And he goes, seems like everyone else has the same talents, except for me. That reminds me of the Raiders in the AFC West and they're going against

fucking Patrick Mahomes, Justin Herbert. Now Bo Nix is there with Sean Payton. And then there's the Raiders. Sorry, Austin. Everyone has the same talents

except for me. I don't know what's going to happen. I think that's the worst coaching job. I mean, you have to compete with Andy Reed and Patrick Mahomes and Jim Harbaugh and Justin Herbert and Sean Peyton and Boeux and you're going to take

the Raiders job. And like that is so brutal. You have to beat all three of those teams when a division is fucking nuts. And you got to go live in Vegas. Which I think it's such a wild I kind of would like to. I feel like I would live in Vegas. Really?

This sounds dangerous. I don't know. I don't know. For some reason, I feel like it would be fun to live in Vegas. For some reason you think it'd be fun to live in Vegas. I feel like... Not even the gambling. I just feel like it's a cool city.

It's got good food. Yeah. Too hot. Yeah, too hot for sure. The other one, there was like several points in the movie where buddy puts this. this big elaborate plan together for what he wants to do that day with his dad.

He's like, first we'll make snow angels for two hours. Then we'll go ice skating. Then we'll eat a whole roll of toll house cookie dough as fast as it can. And then we'll snuggle. And then there was another one where he's like, I thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses and eat cookie dough and go ice skating and maybe even hold hands.

And I was like, this reminds me of when Caleb Williams was drafted and like, you're just like super excited about the season. You're not going to punt that much. Yeah. He texted the punter, Tori Taylor on draft night. he's not going to be punting much. Guess what?

That punter is third in the NFL with 69 puns. Well, I think we're going to win games and throw touchdowns and win a Super Bowl and go to the playoffs and maybe at the end we'll go to Disneyland. They've lost like seven games in a row. I still think I will remember this bear season for the Thanksgiving game,

but also for Craig texting us after that Monday at football game with the Bears the photo of Caleb Williams on this on the bench. And he's like, I was at a live episode of the town. Is Caleb Williams? coming or did he get hurt? Yeah, do that an orgasm or his leg was severed. Sorry, they've lost nine games in a row, not seven.

Oh, yeah. Things are not going great or as expected. Caleb's really good. I can't get over that stat where he's thrown like the most throws in a row without a pick in the history of the bears. Yeah, I still believe in him. But it's like, this is just a perfect example of like there's so many fucking variables that we are bad at predicting when it comes.

comes to, like, teams being good. We thought this would be, like, a good surrounding cast for him. Turned out not to be. The coaching was fucking atrocious. I think it's the coaching more than anything. Yeah. Not like Jane Daniels has the best cast around him. The only other one, this isn't even football, but when Buddy the Elf is in jail and everyone

else is just ripping Sigs and working out doing pull-ups and everyone looks like really intimidating. I just thought of Scotty Schaeffler being in jail. The morning. He's waiting to get late. Wait to leave. He's in his polo. Yeah. He's stretching.

Footjoy shoes, yeah. We didn't make a Kyler Murray joke, an elf joke, which I thought. Congrats to all of us. That was just such a low-hanging truth. Can I do one, though? Oh, yeah, okay, yeah. Okay, sure. We made it to the end and didn't do it. And now, yeah, do it.

Fuck it. When buddy goes, it's just nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for elf culture. That was Kyler Murray to Greg Dorch when they met in the locker room for the first time. Oh, that's a good one, Craig. The only other one that I wanted to mention I forgot is, you know how he keeps eating cotton balls when he goes to the just drives me. It's like it's like the grossest thing. He's fucking

swallowing cotton balls. I don't know. I'm kind of in on that too. Sick. And I don't know. It just reminded me of Bobby Slowick in the Texans offense. Just like the most like just the thing that makes me so mad watching this is him just calling runs

on first and second down. Thurn long. Might as well just be eating cotton balls. God, the cotton balls thing was driving me nuts. Oh, interesting. So gross. See, that doesn't bother me. To me, I have, like, an aversion or something to this.

I don't know why I was, like, grossing me out. It's, like, kind of aesthetically pleasing to me. Ugh. Cotton balls? It's like, it's stuck in your throat. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think you should be eating cotton balls. Did you guys ever play those games as a kid when it was like, how many, you know,

whatever you could put in your mouth, like, I can, uh, malt balls. I was going to let you, I was going to let you, I was going to let you, drown there. I think cotton balls, they, people did do that with, like, cotton balls and you try and talk. Ping pong balls? You ever tried that? ping pong balls in their mouth. Really?

Yeah. Emails that ring your, well, I don't know if I want that one. Email us, what kind of things you're putting in your mouth? Thought better of it. Thought better of it.

The holdovers, I will say, is a fantastic movie that came out last year over Christmas. And I would consider it a Christmas movie. And that might be the next classic. I'm going to put together a list because I feel like we're probably missing a lot of Christmas.

Yeah, this is, emails that really fancy football at Gmail we're not Christmas movies. Yeah. All right, fine. And I'm saying classic. Mr. rewatchable.

saying classic. Elf is classic. Elf is a classic. That's true. Not like, oh, that was good. It's like, you watch it every year. It's become a mainstay in Christmas culture. You're my affinity for elf culture. Dorch. That's arch.

We say that. That was probably the best one, Craig. Let's do some fantasy court. Definitely don't tell anyone about this thing that you're doing. I don't really want to be handcuffed. The definition of an object is a material thing that can be seen and touched. It's from John. Jacko. Jacko.

Jesus. So John reminds us that right around Thanksgiving, a guy emailed in about his brother trading with his, a guy emailed in and said my brother traded with his nine-year-old son. Right. And he got Kenneth Walker for Ladmanconc and Giovante Williams. And he wants to report that since that trade, the dad who got Kenneth Walker, Kenneth Walker has had like six points the next week, and he had 13. So he's 19 points in the month since that trade.

Meanwhile, Ladd McConkey's had 20 points, missed a week 16 and 14. So yeah, this guy lost this trade to his nine-year-old son by a lot. Carmic retribution, baby. I think that's why we don't veto trades. In the time, didn't we, at the moment, we were like, yeah, this actually doesn't look that bad. Yeah, it really wasn't that bad. But that in a nutshell is why we don't veto trades is because you know what. You never know.

You never know what people know. This one's from Warner. Warner. Psychopath. I made it to the championship game in my league. I'm set to face off against my wife and her team. A team that I have 100% been managing since week one. What?

I finished first in the standings. She finished second. Call me any time for advice, by the way. She had never played fantasy before. It's a family league. She wanted to join in. I was happy to help her. But I don't want to discount her contribution.

However, her contributions are she drafted the Vikings defense. She added Justin Fields when Anthony Richardson was benched while I was driving and I told her how to do it. And that's it. So you can probably see where I'm going with this. I'm completely aware of all the moral ramifications of tanking her team this week so I can win the championship myself. But I really want to win.

And maybe who gives a shit about moral ramifications if I would at all. So as a neutral third party parties, can you guys... It's like a guy talking himself into crime. Yeah, help me put together pros and cons list of putting the best team out there versus just, you know, leaving her to her own devices for the championship or just benching the whole team and winning. Be the angel and devils on my shoulder. I don't know. You got to finesse it. Don't get divorced.

I don't think she cares. Wait, does she give a shit? Does she even care? Well, I have a lot of questions. Is he worried more about his wife or is he worried more about the rest of the league? I think he knows that's wrong to bench all the players, but he's thinking about it. And she's not paying attention at all.

Like he could literally bench the whole team and she doesn't care? No. I guess not. Then might as well. She should just let her set the lineup this week and she probably won't change anything. And then I was going to say, like if she even cares 1%, she could just look at her lineup, see the highest projected points and just start those people. I think it's also weird for him because if he wins, it's kind of like.

All right. Isn't this question more about like the rest of the line? league, though? That's the thing. His wife doesn't care, obviously. He's like shadow running her team. Yeah, that he's shadow running her team. Is he been bragging about that? That I am actually running the two best teams in the league all year? I mean, he's writing, he's writing emails

about a criminal conspiracy. Yeah, you're taking notes in a criminal conspiracy. You broke rule number one in the wire. He sent us the email. You know what? Scrague. Get the dub. I think he should, I think he should, I don't know what I think. I think it's already like, this is like, you can't bench the players. You're in the fucking vault. or if you leave now, you're still going to get arrested.

You might as well just fucking finish the job. This is funny because he's just in a conflict with himself. It's like no one here is, he's just like has a moral quandary of what you should do. You need a therapist. Also, probably. The league hasn't weighed in. His wife doesn't care. It's just like him alone in a room.

Like, do I start my wife's players? I know this is like one of those things where like people don't think about you as much as you think they think about you kind of deal. It's like once you're out in a league, do you fucking even pay attention? No, nobody gives a shit. He's playing chess against himself. I feel like in the leagues where I'm eliminated,

I'm just like, I don't care what happens from now on. Imagine if you heard that the guy in the championship was also managing the other team in the championship and he benched all the players to win. You'd be like, this guy, this guy needs God. Wait, do you guys remember who wins a league? Because sometimes it's like when you win your league, it's like the completion of everything you've ever wanted in your life.

and then like two years go by and no one remembers who won that year and you're like, I won that year. Oh, totally. I can barely fucking remember who won the Super Bowl. Like,

he's in 23 leagues. He doesn't know who won. He doesn't know. It's like everyone remembers who lost the league had to do the podcast. This is what I'm saying though. Like I think he could do whatever the fuck he wants and no one would notice.

Just try to win the game, fair and square. Yeah, there you go. I won a league. The money is coming to your household. I was going to say, I'm sure you have a joint checking account.

It's going to, the deposit's hitting no matter what. All right. Next case here is from Omar. Omar. I have a predicament at my fantasy football league. My longtime friend of 10 plus years is the commissioner of the league. It's primarily most of his college buddies. I recently made the championship game and have a chance to take the pot of money home.

300 bucks. We were out clubbing this weekend and the commissioner approaches me after I've had plenty of drinks and tells me. He said, hey, won't be able to pay you that 300 bucks because he's already spent the money due to some financial constraints. noted I'd have to wait till February to get paid and even then there's a chance he forgets. In the moment, a lot of Ocky Cranberries in me didn't really make a big deal about it. My sober self is furious.

How could he spend all the money? This kid lives at home with his parents. What do I do? Legend. I want to press him for my money because my girlfriend's birthday is coming up and I could cover all her gifts and dinner with the money.

But he's my boy. Do I make a big deal about the money or do I let it slide because I've known him forever? This is dicey, actually. I think he lost all goodwill by the fact that he said, wait till February and also like there's a chance you forget. Like he's not even like sorry.

Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck. No, he doesn't get. He's kind of like the idea. There's no remorse. Also, like he owes you $300. Like he owes you $300. People do not forget when other people owe them money. That is not something he will forget.

Yeah, I think the line that he was like, I might forget is actually just, I'm going to cheat you out of this money and never pay it to you. And I'm drunk enough that I'm going to admit that to you right now. You got, yeah, you got to like, I don't know, threaten him with physical force or something to give him this money.

You think that he should go that route? We want to jump there? Go get a fixer or step in. The threat of physical violence. Get Ray Donovan on the job. But I feel like the problem is Ray Donovan's got to be over 300 an hour, right? Yeah, that is tough.

Like, you know? Yeah, but it's the principle. It's not the money. It's not about the money. Could you maybe kind of round up the rest of the league? to kind of collectively. Fear pressure.

So that's, I think, the tricky spot is it's, he sounds like the home friend, and it's all his college friends. And he's like, his friend is the nexus to that. So it's a little awkward because I think this is the person he knows the best. And so you got to get his college buddies. So you got to wrangle them to like, you know, Frankenstein pitchfork. Yeah. He's not going to pay me.

Hey, still haven't gotten my money yet in the group chat. He did kind of steal money from everybody. So it's like, frankly, if you did this and you spend the money, that's just like deeply irresponsible. You got to throw that. shit in escrow. You know what I mean? But if you do it and then don't feel bad about it, that's, uh, you should cut the person out of your life. It honestly, I look, I've been the commissioner of a league for 15 years now and it is very hard to get, we all, it's like 250 a person. So I have

like three grand just sitting in my bank account for fucking four months. It's hard. I have to, I literally create a separate account for it to sit in just so I know that is money that I cannot spend. It's hard. But you could just spend it and tell everyone they're not going to get back. Why just throw on Bitcoin. Should our podcast start a coin? I heard that worked out for Hoc2a. Should we just start? Meme coin.

Podcoin. The piss. The piss coin. Pisc coin. Piscoyne. We got to do a Piscoy. Some listeners to get rich off this and we're fucking not. Pisc coin.

Yeah, but we're not going to go to prison. That's true. Yeah. Are we? Is this securities fraud? Just talking about this? Can't prove it. No. Pisc coin sadly probably exists.

Yeah, there's no way. There's no way that this is. It does. It does. You guys this for Christmas. Piscoy. It's on Coinbase. God damn it.

Wait, if we talk about getting this up, oh, no, that's a crime. We can't do that. It's, it's point zero, zero, zero, zero zero zero seven dollars a share. We're waiting deeply near securities fraud. We have to, we have to divert. Oh, it just dipped. Fuck. People are buying and selling this.

The fuck is going on, dude. Touch grass. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, December 23rd. Somebody's buying Piscoyne right now. I love those memes of the text from your dad. Like, how's the job search going? And it's just like, you just like selling Piscoyne on December 23rd?

A lot of them are like, are you bringing a girlfriend for Christmas this year? And then like the text is over like the 2008 redraftables. It's like, no, I'm not. All right. This is a special email right here. It's from Brian to Dallas. Brian in Dallas. That guy.

Brian says He starts with the following happened a few weeks ago and is shared with the permission of all people involved. Thank you for consent. Brian says our league is now in its 20th year.

We're all very close having grown up in church together and have supported each other through many tough times. Sadly, a little over a month ago, the mother of one of our league mates passed away after a battle

with Parkinson's. I was playing him that week in fantasy football. says he was excited because Christian McCaffrey had just been activated off injured reserve. So hear about the mom. I text the guy and I say, hey, buddy,

I just got the church prayer update email and I wanted to let you know that my wife and I are sending a lot of prayers your way, thinking of you were here for anything you need. And the guy, the guy whose mom has just died, responds and says, thanks, buddy. It would be really meaningful if you did not start Christian McCaffrey.

Oh, that's good. Immediately leveraging it. And he's like, I did not bench Christian McCaffrey. He got 13 points. He said no. Him and Chris Boswell led him to victory the day after his mother's funeral, beat the guy who's day after the guy's mother's funeral. And the question is, should these points be negated?

Because after all, I did say anything you need. This is like, was it Cardell Jones beaten the kid in the hospital? Yeah. Yeah. Six to whatever. God, that's funny. He said no. First of all, how dare you ask that in that situation?

and second, how dare you say no? This is his mom. He's like a Kirby enthusiasm situation where it's like, hey, Larry, like, you do whatever you need. He's like, bench, cursive McCaffrey. He's like, no, I'm not benching Christopher's like. It's like, it's fantasy football, Larry.

He's craving. He's like, it's an unwritten rule. You can't ask that. It's like, you can't ask that. That doesn't count as a favor. It doesn't qualify as a favor. It's going to help him. That's kind of the favor category.

Let it win, Larry. It's fantasy. I thought this was. What is the question, though? What is the question, though? Like, should the points be indicated? I think the question basically should we negate the points. But that was like a month and a half ago.

Isn't it the league, isn't it over now? Yeah, I think, I think, I think, well, it affected standings. I think it also is like involving a points for a tiebreaker. So it's, they're arguing over the 13 points. This is a moral gray area. I love the idea. It's like, I said it to whatever you need. Did your time grieving?

Bench McCaffrey. Did you bench your player? Well, it'd mean a lot if you bench McCaffrey this week. So good. This is a disease. I honestly, I want to give it to that guy because that's such an awesome request. That's such a funny text.

He has such an amazing sense of humor. You got to give it to him. So yes, he should remove the same place. I think so. That's such an, again, art getting away with it. Like that, yeah. That's great. All right.

That's fantasy score. With one email left, I want to do. We got this very fun email from Joe. Joey. Joe says, this is my first time emailing. I've been listening for four years. And like you guys, I've always loved the old-timey athlete names.

And Joe says, a few years ago, I made a list for my friends for a game called MLB Hall of Famer or Porn Star. Ooh, nice. Right up, Raleigh. And I, there are no answers in this. There's just names. So I have a baseball reference because I don't want to Google these people to find out. Sure, sure. And I would like to play this game with you guys.

All right. So we don't know the answer to this? We don't know the answer. I just have baseball reference up because that is going to be better than the internet. Because the porn stars won't come up in baseball reference, but the people will. Is there a porn star reference? I'm sure there is. I'm probably.

Multiple. Same company. Yeah. Okay. Number one here. Again, this is. I am DP. Sorry.

That's good. Write that down. Write that down. Right, that's such a good idea. Fuck. IMDP. Someone's come up with this, right? I bet that existed.

Should I type it in? This is a work computer. I don't know. It's dangerous. That could be anything, though. Oh, it's a closing price interested in a domain we have. Oh, I think it's a, oh no, that's not what I want. Dude, we could get this right now.

Dude, whatever listener takes it if we don't do this is going to get rich. And they're going to do Pisc coin and IMDP. I know. Let me check Piskcoin again, see where it's that. God damn. Miss coin. I just love the idea that it's basically Christmas Eve and some guys buying Piss Coins. Fucking trading Piscuit.

It's down a little. Day trading. Okay, porn star or baseball player? You want to do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Ban Johnson. Ban? Baseball. Yeah.

I think Porn Star. I'll Google it. I'm on my home computer right now. Oh, okay. I think it's already corrupted. Founder of the American League. Get the fuck out. Let's fucking go.

So funny. Henry Chadwick. That sounds like that sounds like. Hank Chadwick. I'm basically just waiting for like a sexual pun name. Yeah, I feel like most of the, yeah, porn names are just puns. Oh, I think Henry Chadner.

I think Henry Chadwick is a porn star. Henry Chadwick? Yeah, I think so. because he's not a baseball reference. Hold on, let me look it up. I'm waiting for like Dirk Diggler. I guess that could be a baseball name.

No, this is, Henry Chadwick was an American sports writer. Baseball statistician. So these are baseball adjacent people. Candy Cummings. Okay. I think baseball.

It has to be baseball for the purpose of what this guy's trying to accomplish. Oh, yeah. Candy Cummings, died in 1924. 1872. Oh, my God. Candy Cummings.

Looks like Grover Cleveland's son. Jesus Christ. It's like Misty Mountains from the nice guys. This is great, Craig. Cummings is widely credited with inventing the curveball. This is somebody's dad. Invented the curveball. What if I put some weird spin on it?

Candy Cummings invented the curveball. Oh, my God. That new curveball is pretty sweet, Candy. He's calling it a curveball. Oh, my God. All right, we got Elmer Flick. God, that has to be baseball. Dude, there's no point.

Elmer, right? Elmer? There's no way that, no, that's got to be a baseball. Elmer Flick was an American baseball outfielder. Yeah. I don't think there's any porn stars on this list, man. I think that's the trick. Is they're all baseball?

Oh, you think that's what they did to us? It's a good bit. That is a good bit. Keep going. Let's do this. Elmer, Bill Dickey. Baseball. Yeah.

Bill Dickey. You think they got us? It's all baseball. American baseball catcher and manager later. Chief Bender. Served in the Navy during World War II, played for the Yankees. Chief Bender?

Yeah, the next one here is Chief Bender. That's a sick name. That's got to be a baseball player. Yeah, or like my nickname in college. Chief Bender. It was late Thursday, and next. That's why you couldn't take the Friday surfing at San Diego State.

You have a good memory. Native American professional baseball pitcher, Chief Bender. Charles Bender 1884 Wow Chief Bender is a awesome nickname

He's got him Cum Bender I barely know her That's like Chief Bender sounds like the name of somebody in the movie old school Oh that's Chief Bender Yeah Dude the next one here

Come Posey Okay Come his name was come CUM CUM yes Cumberland Pose Facebook managers They've is spelled CUM

It's not even C-O-M-E. That was before come, that word was a thing. No, it was before they invented it. Yeah. Cumberland. The name Cumberland has died, huh? Well, I wonder why. The, dude, the picture, he looks like a peeky blinder.

This photo is like what the photos look like when they're like the invented photography. Peaky blinder sounds like the name of a baseball player from 1898. Seriously. Because he famously blinded a catcher when he ran through home plate. He could only see through one eye. Composy managed the homestead graze. Oh my God. Lost his eye on a farming incident.

Okay, they're all baseball players. I'm done. What else he got? Dude, Joe Tinker, Frank Chance, Pied Trader, Jeff Bagwell's on here. They're all baseball players. Jeff Bagwell. Bobby Cox. Jeff Bagwell would be a good poor name, actually.

Yeah. Yeah, it would. Great, great email. That was fun. Good job. It was. Composy. Composy.

Who was the other... Who's other than popcorn? I don't know. Composy. That sounds like a Gen Z kid trying to say composure. Like, you gotta keep your composey. Right.

Dude, candy cummings. Dude, that's... We should use... We should come up with new Gen Z slang for draft jargon. That should be the new one. Like, Jailin Milro. Great physical talents,

but like, I don't know about his compose. Doesn't have the compozy. Doesn't have the compozy. all right I think that's all we got boys Merry Christmas Happy Hanukkah Happy Kwanza

Thank you to everybody for listening Thank you DK thank you Craig Thank you Carlos Thank you Kai Thank you Austin Thank you to You know The Founding fathers

of this podcast Composie Cloy Candy Cummings Fernbach Kandy Cummings Invented the curveball Invented the question mark

It's the question mark Oh my God We don't have a Friday show this week, but we do have this same Sunday, Monday, Wednesday thing for next week for New Year's, and then we'll cover the playoffs, covering everything to stick with us. Thank you, Lord. Lauren. Thank you, Frank Sinatra. Wow.

There was a Frank Sinatra song in Elf, and I can't remember which one it was now. Oh, I love Frank. Sinatra rips. Yeah, he's just listening to Sanatra's pretty fucking sick. I get it. Yeah, dude. Of course. He's like the ultimate. I get it. Yeah. pretty soon. I didn't see why people thought Frank Sinatra was cool. I'm like, what? Oh yeah. You make me feel so young.

Oh, yeah. That montage. My way just still He has good Christmas stuff too. He has like Santa Claus coming to town, all those. Yeah. What's they call them old blue eyes? Would you say Craig or Hyvitz? It's the way they're saying about Christmas back in the day. Dude, Jack, we got chestnuts the other day. We roasted chestnuts.

I didn't even know they're worst chestnuts. I've never even eaten a chestnut in my life. life. Jackie's no chance she's listening to this episode. They're awful. Really? Even roasted? There's a reason that they're gone.

I mean, if anyone, you know, some entrepreneurial person still on this episode, like if you want to bring chestnuts back. Yeah. One of these fancy LA ice cream shops, they do their like festive holiday flavors and one of them is chestnut flavor.

You think it'll be bad? I haven't had it yet. Well, I mean, I'm sure they made it good. But like actual roasted chestnuts, they're kind of like the textures weird. They're big.

They kind of look like brain. They look like a walnut. if they look like the walnuts are kind of soft. I don't know if they'll make a good... I think these fancy ice cream places are going too far with it. Now it's like you go to salt and straw and it's like turkey and gravy with real turkey and gravy mixed with sweet cream ice cream.

This is disgusting. Make a fucking normal flavor. Give me like pecan pie. That's as far as I'll go. I know we already have our bar idea with the gentleman's piss club, but I do think there's a spin-off of a bar idea where it's like, you know what every fucking bar now

is like, hey, you can throw out. axes. Or like, hey, it's like a golf simulator. You play basketball here. And I'm like, I have an idea. There's a bar with televisions on the screen that play sports. That's fucking it. You can sit there and watch. You don't have to throw any fucking axes or any of this

bullshit. Like a normal bar. Nobody's opening normal fucking bars anymore. But the whole thing is a giant bathroom. Yeah, but you can go to the obviously. And you just pee on to something here. Yeah. Should we just call it number one? number one boys no that doesn't sound good

my gentleman you're right fuck fuck fuck fuck bleep that I don't know who's lover boy or mother boy what's the

arrested development thing they go to like the lover the mother boy thing look once piss coin takes off we'll be able to build whatever we want so can we keep that in

or is that like a crime piss boy what do we save up piss coins going to the crime yeah okay good I don't know I don't know. Honestly, I don't even get why Hawk to a girl's going to jail. I don't really understand that. Is she going to jail? No, people just said she was. Probably not. I just saw it tweets and said she's going to jail. Famous people don't go to jail.

That's a good test of her fame. True. True. The Martha Stewart went to jail. That, that doc was sick. It was a while ago. Nothing. That shit doesn't happen anymore. And they threw her into the bus. Oh, yeah. They made an example out of her. They did. Also, the whole thing being over $45,000 when she was like, our billionaire is so funny. Yeah, stupid. Yeah, they were just excited. That's like how an Alamoffi movies, like the way you go out,

the way you get like the head of the, it's never like for the big crime. It's always like you get them for some small, minor thing that you can have. You didn't file their taxes. Yes, that'd be a good like, like, get like, like some IRS agents, like looking at Al Capone's taxes.

It's like, holy shit, guys, you gotta look into this guy. What's going on here? He ran a stop sign in 2008. All right, goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus

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