The Ringer NFL Show - Power Ranking the Most Surprising MVPs of the Season

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

Power Hour! Giving out quarter-season awards, ranked from most to least surprising, including the young breakout Rams, the electric Dolphins backfield, the surprising Texans offense, and more (1:41). “You guys want to do some emails?” (34:38) Check out The Ringer’s Fantasy Football Rankings for positional rankings, waiver wire pickups, and much more! Fanduel.com/ringerffs is live! Adopt, Don’t Shop Award (2:37) I Can’t Believe This Person Is Single Award (7:17) America Was Built on Hot, Nasty Speed Award (11:12) ‘Oppenheimer’ Near Zero Award (14:10) Post-Hype Sleeper Award (16:40) Old Guys Getting the Job Done Award (18:44) The 17-Game Pace Award (21:33) Clown Car That Drove Into a Gold Mine Award (23:20) Oh No, the Worst Guy You Know Just Made a Great Point Award (26:14) Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Learn more about the albums you love with Dissect, a music analysis podcast hosted by me, Cole Kushna, a lifelong musician. Each season of Dissect dives deep into one album, examining the music, lyrics, and meaning of one song per episode. We've covered albums by Kendrick Omar, Tyler the creator, Frank Ocean, just to name a few, and our brand new season just launched all about Radiohead's 2007 masterpiece in rainbows. Listen to Dissect on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast, because a great art deserves more than a swipe. show my name is Danny Hyphitz and I'm joined by Craig Kourlbuk and that's it.

DK is still on vacation. Honestly, I've never been happier in my entire life for DK to not be on the show because the Giants were destroyed by the Seahcum and A football. So we don't even have to talk about it, did we, Craig? No, the timing really worked out for you. It's D.K. Eve because he should be back next episode unless he just wants to stay in Europe forever. We'll see. But sorry about that.

I was actually gone last night. Didn't watch the game, which I'm happy about because it sounded terrible. No, yeah. We're recording this Tuesday. But yeah, you didn't miss anything. The Giants won. They beat Seattle, really close game. And Daniel Jones played great, resounding blocking.

It was just a great all-around team performance. No one's upset about him being on costing the Giants $47 million next year. That's not a problem. No, in the words of, to paraphrase Aaron Rogers, don't look into that. We're a month into the NFL season now. And we're going to give out our quarter season awards. We're going to do this power hour style. We're going to power rank our awards by how surprised we are to be giving out said award.

And we're going to do this power hour style. So if you're not familiar with power hour, it's very simple. After every couple minutes, you're going to hear this song. Great song. Great song. Tom Tom Club is such a good song that we couldn't get it cleared on Fandall TV. So if you're listening on Fandall TV and watching us then, we have some nice rights free music playing for you. Some nice lovely elevator music.

Yeah, it's great. It actually, you know what? The library of rights, you know, public. public use music is robust. Sure. We just need to get TomTom Club in a room with Fandled TV and they can work something out. Okay. So we're going to need to, again, we're giving out quarter season awards here, power rank in that. It's just like Dion Sanders' sons. Going to power rank those. We're going to power rank all the awards are giving out.

And again, most surprised, starting off the number one award, quarter season awards. Kai, start the clock. The adopt, don't shop award. We're given a Pooka and a Cooa receiver for the Rams. Look, when you adopt an animal and you bring something into your home, it loves you more. And I, you know, you love it more. Like, there's a deeper relationship when you adopted it. Craig, when I, Jack and I plucked our cat out of the garbage. And we love this thing more now than we probably ever would have. It's just how it works. That's right. We're plucked, whoever added Pooka Nakuwavers or, or somehow drafted them, if you drafted Pooka Nakua, email us, because you deserve an award. But yeah, you pluck somebody from

obscurity. It's like discovering an artist. It's like Scooter Brian finding Justin Bieber when he was like 12 street performing and turning him into the biggest pop star in the world. That's what it feels like of you added puka off waivers. It's true. It's like you have this deeper relationship. No one will ever love puka like you love puka. It's like you saw him after week one and you like, oh my God, he's so cute. He just needs a home. And then now you're like, oh my God, did we just, is he like the greatest receiver in the world? And then everyone, people like you, Craig, are like, we get it. Everyone has a pet. Like everyone thinks their pet's the greatest. You're like, no, but this guy is the greatest. He

He leads the NFL in targets, and he leads the NFL in catches. And he's second in receiving yards behind Jefferson and Tyree Kill. And he's second in first downs behind Justin Jefferson, Tyree Kill. He actually is the greatest. And you're sending everyone pictures of him. The stat lines. Look, he had 10 targets again last week. I got him for $2 off the waiver wire.

And what I will say about Puka, I don't think you should give him up. I don't think you should sell high with Cooper Cup coming back this week or next week. I think Pooka is staying in the Robert Woods role. and I think both players can exist and thrive in the Rams offense. So hold on to Puka. Not that you would ever give him up because how could you give up your beloved cat? What's your cat's name, High Fitch? You wouldn't give that cat up for anything.

No, I love C. No, I wouldn't trade Sam for anything in the world. And Pook is like that too. It's like, what are you going to take Poo-it-for? Tyree Kill. He has more yards than Tyree Kill. It's Tari Kill. Number two, going right back at it. Speaking of Dopp Don't Shop, Part 2.

Stick with the Rams. Karan Williams running back for the Rams who, if Puka Nakua wasn't getting all this press, who you're talking about, Kyran Williams is the top four fantasy running back on the season. He's literally only behind Christian McCaffrey and the two running backs from Miami.

I don't know what's happening with the Rams. It's not even that the Rams are really that prolific offensively. It's not like they're putting up like 40 points a game or is really surprising anybody that much. It's just that they're funneling everything to two players that nobody had ever heard of before this season.

The fact that Sean McVeigh, so again, they basically trade camakers because they get tired of the George Costans Act. And then they're like, Sean McVeigh played Kyron Williams like 98% of the snaps. He came off the field for like one or two stamps. And Lesney, the GM was like publicly talking about how, yeah, you know, we had talked to Sean about how he didn't want to play him the whole game because he knows Kyron Williams can't play the whole game. But then, you know, there's a three and out. And then it kind of sounded like, I don't know, anything that a mom has ever told a son to like bring to high to. school or something and he just forgot, yeah, yeah, I got to take Karen Williams off the field. He literally played 98% of snaps in week three.

What McVeigh is doing with these players is really something special. It's like the NFL coaching version of Chopped, the cooking show, where it's like you open your basket. It's like, you have to make a top 10 offense out of Puka Nakua, Kairn Williams, Van Jefferson, and Tutu Atwell. And McVeigh is just whipping up a carbunara with quail eggs. liverwurst and jelly beans. What if we flambay it,

and then we're going to put it over with like a nice reduction and with like a cherry glaze? And then everyone's like, oh, wow, well done. Like, I don't know if we've really seen anything like this before. I mean, two truly unknown randos like dominating fantasy football

in the first month of the season. No disrespect to Tom Tom, but real quick. Kairn Williams, third in targets among running backs. He's run 136 routes. That's the most. Most snaps among any running back. So who, I'm just real quick.

Like you would not trade Christian McCaffrey away for Kyron Williams, obviously. Christian McCaffrey, Tony Pollard, obviously not. Bejan Robinson, obviously not. Josh Jacobs probably not. Travis ETN probably not. Derek Henry. Alvin Camara.

Joe Mixon. Oh yeah. I'd rather have Kyron. Remindra Stevenson. Oh, I rather. That's the thing. He's a top 10 running back. It's crazy.

He's a top dead running back. Even going forward. All right, Craig, next up here. We're going to do a little package combo here. We're going to do three and four. I can't believe this person is single award for Texans for the C.J. Stroud and Nico Collins. Craig, can you explain? You're 35 years old.

You're single. You walk into a coffee shop. You randomly run into somebody. You start chat with them. And they're the love of your life. And you're like, I can't believe this person is single still. CJ Stroud, look, I get it. It's a rookie.

The metaphor doesn't exactly work. But like, we just stumbled on to C.J. Stroud and Nico Collins. C.J. Stroud has been incredible. For the first, basically had the best. best start to a rookie season ever at quarterback. Give her take a couple guys. He has the second most passing yards by a player in his first four games ever. Cam Newton's only has more.

Right now, C.J. Stroud, rookie, C.J. Stroud on the Texans, throwing to Nico Collins, Tank Dell, Robert Woods, John Mechie. He's on pace for 5,100 passing yards. The rookie record is 4,300 by Andrew Luck. He's on pace for 5,100. His yards per cent is over eight yards. That's only behind Tua and Purdy in the league. He just diced up the Steelers.

They're two and two. I mean, I think they're a great bet right now. I'm not looking at the Fanduilods, but for them to win the AFC South, Stroud has been, he's thrown no interceptions, just immediately walked onto the field and was a professional.

And I'm like, man, where have you been all my life? It's been tough sledding for a lot of rookies lately, and Stroud just walked him and was an adult. He's a man. Not having any picks is pretty crazy, too. Again, I really thought the Steelers were going to be a test for him. Mike Tom, instead of this week,

like the Texans were more physical than them, which I thought was incredible. Stroud has looked so poised in everything he's been doing. And then you made a good point to me earlier this week that a sign of a good quarterback is that they lift all tides. Like they make everyone else around them better. And that's exactly what he's done with Nico Collins. Nico Collins, another guy, he just kind of plucked from obscurity.

I mean, Nico's had a couple solid years. He's been better every year. But really, it just goes to show you what a good quarterback can do to an offense. I mean, Nico Collins is the wide receiver seven this year? That's crazy. Rookie Tank Dell. It's the wide receiver 19. C.J. Shroud is holding up two guys in the top 20 right now.

Nico Collins. I mean, Nico Collins is probably the biggest steal in the draft for somebody who was actually drafted. Tutu Atwell was not drafted. You know, Kyron Williams is not drafted. Pooka Nukuo was not drafted. He was just a real late-round guy. And so, again, it's kind of like the Adopt-on shop where you do kind of feel like, man, I'm pretty special for drafting Nico Collins.

The Rams and the Texans, like, who would have thought? Nico Collins leads the entire league in yards after the catch. Yeah, his air yards have been super high. CJ shot his truck at the ball down field. And again, no interceptions. Incredibly impressive. Part of this, no one's talking about, C.J. Stroud, Ohio State, Nico Collins, Michigan.

It's like cats and dogs getting along. It's like an Ohio State Michigan combo. I don't know if we've ever had one. Maybe I'm thinking missing an obvious one. Have we ever had? What's the most prolific Ohio State Michigan combo we've ever had? I mean, Michigan, a quarterback would obviously be Tom Brady and anyone. but an Ohio State quarterback and a Michigan pass catcher, I can't even think of one.

I mean, there are very few positive stories about Ohio State quarterbacks in general. I mean, is C.J. Stroud already the best Ohio State quarterback to ever play in the week? I mean, the fact that he has more 300-yard passing games than Justin Fields, like two games in his career was pretty bad. He's averaging over 300 yards a game, C.J. Stroud right now. Justin Fields just said his first. No, that is crazy. And honestly, it's, I think the Texans and the Packers right now are these two, teams where I look and I'm like, what an incredible core of young people that are young people sound like I'm freaking 80. But it's like young guys who are going to get to develop all together where it's like the Packers have like six guys basically under 25 in the Texans like Damian Pierce,

C.J. Stroud, Nico and Tank Dell, like all these guys. And it also, if Brevin Jordan becomes anything like all these guys are so young, it's so exciting to see. Just some young kids out there growing together, maturing. You kids. All right. Next up here. Dolphins running backs. you know, I thought about giving them a different word and I'm just going to give them, you know what? I don't care if we've done it five times. I don't care. It's still the Eleanor Roosevelt, America was built on hot, nasty speed.

That is what this is. I know everyone knows the stats at this point. I don't care. Like, dolphins having like all the top five fastest ball carriers in the league at this point, all that stuff. But the one I wanted to mention here for Devon A.C. Sorry, 8Chan now. Which is going to take me a minute to get that.

Devon A. Chan has six touchdowns in the past two weeks. Kyle Pitts has three touchdowns in the past three years. Three years? Is that right? Yes. Because I guess his rookie season, he only had like two touchdowns, right? But he had 1, but he had 1,000 yards? Yes. And then he had 1.

And now he's 0. I mean, what? A. Chan has like 35 touches on the season. He has 35 touches through four weeks, and he's the number three running back in fantasy. And the funnier part is he has 35 touches, really, he's 34 touches in like two weeks or whatever. Like, he didn't have, like, again, the best way I could say it is the number one running back is Christian McCaffrey. Number two is Rahimosa, H.N's three. And H.N's the third best running back.

He didn't even really play until week three. So really, the last two weeks are better than everyone else is four weeks. And just to punctuate that, he's 38th and carries, but he's sixth in rushing yards. I can't stress how rare it is when you find the waiver wire gem that's coming off a massive game and everybody spends a lot, most of their fab money on the guy. They all start him the next week and almost always he shits the bet. That's just how it goes. Usually the guy who has 40, you add him off waivers, he has like six points.

Not A-N, 100 yards, two touchdowns right out the gate. This guy is for real and I maintain he's the best waiver wire pickup in years. And I don't think it's Pooka Nukuha because of the Cooper Cup factor because of the uncertainty. certainty. A. Chan is doing just fine with Mostert, who ain't exactly the picture of health. I think what's what, look, the Debbie Downer thing to say is, well, A.C.N. doesn't touch the ball much, so it's inefficient. Sorry, unsustainable. And one, shut up. No one, no one wants to do that. 11 yards per carry. That's not going to continue. It's almost 12 yards of carry. But here's the thing. What if he gets more touches the ball more than 10 times a game? What if he touches the ball

20 times a game? Let's not forget, Moster fumbled twice last week. It had the worst game of the season by far. He had nine yards rushing on seven carries. H.N. could suck, but here's my thing. If I told you right now, someone would rush for 300 yards in the next year and a half and break the all-time single-game rushing record. Devon H.N. is the favorite person to do that, right?

Yeah. Kind of like Chris Johnson back in the day, where it's like, you need somebody who's able to like rip off like 375 plus yard touchdowns in a game, and he's like one of the three dudes in the league. I think he can do that. All right. Next up here, we have the Oppenheimer

Close to Zero Award, which is given a Sam LaPorter, tied in for the Lions. All right, you know the scene in Oppenheimer, Matt Damon, he's like the general

overseeing the Manhattan Project. And Matt Damon's like, so what are the odds that this like ignites the nitrogen and the atmosphere and blows up the world? And Oppenheimer's like,

close to zero. And Matt Damon's like, close, close to zero. So you're telling me there's a chance. The world's going to end if we hit this button?

that's basically how it's been with rookie tight ends. The hit rate for rookie tight ends has been close to zero. Like, if you just look back in the last like 15 years, there have been like more than 200 tight ends drafted. And three of them were even kind of startable in fantasy. Like three tight ends out of more than 200 were even like top 12 their rookie season. Not even talking like top three, none of that. Like basically a 99% chance that a rookie dead end will not help your squad.

And we were like, you know what? this season, but it could work for us. And you know what, baby? Sam Leporter, baby. It did work for us. Tide end out of Iowa. Sam Leporter went to the Lions in round two. He's in fact having the best rookie season ever for a tight end.

He's the number two tight end in fantasy. He's behind T.J. Hawkinson. And through four games, Sam Leporter already has the record for most receiving yards for a tight end through his first four games, most fantasy points for a tight end through his first four games, tied for the most first downs since they started tracking it 30 years ago. and he's the first rookie tight end to have 50 fantasy points in his first month and the first rookie tight end to have 60 yards per game in his first month.

Adopt-on shop. Why draft anybody in the first three rounds at this point? You know what I mean? Just bargain shop off the waiver wire every single season. I think Sam Leporta, unfortunately, is going to ruin rookie tight ends. Like, next year is going to be a disaster in drafts because everybody's going to think that they found the next Sam Leporta. And in reality, this isn't going to happen again for a long time.

It's like how everybody thinks that, like, they can turn their like dual-threat quarterback back into Josh Allen if he sucks to start his career. I feel like everyone's like, well, what's the guy from Georgia, Bowers? They're like, oh, well, Sam Leporta had a strong rookie season. Like, it's able to replicate, but in reality, it's not happening again. Perfect environment, too, with the alliance, it feels like. Completely agree on all that, except the Josh Allen thing, because the giants were like, well, Daniel Jones can grow like Josh Allen and it's going perfectly.

So I don't see your point there. Right. I didn't see the game, so it's hard for me to comment. Yeah, no, it's doing really well. other than that I thought it was a very good point. Next up, number seven. The Post-type Sleeper Award, Justin Herbert, quarterback for the charges,

the number one quarterback in fantasy football, Justin Herbert. Yeah, look, we probably should have seen this coming, right? We definitely talked about it in the lead-up to draft season this year, but there's just something, fantasy football, it's impossible. It's like object permanence. It's like, if I don't see it right in front of my eyes, I don't believe it. And Herbert had a bad last year, had bad the year last year. we all knew it was because he was hurt.

Like blatantly he was injured, not to mention Keenan Allen and Mike Williams were hurt the whole year. Like, Tribert was visibly, terribly injured for 75% of the season, and he had a terrible year, and we tried to make the argument, well, if you go back to just the year before that,

2021, he averaged 22 fantasy points a game and was the number two quarterback of fantasy, and we're like, yeah, but. And what do you know? He's the number one quarterback in fantasy right now. He's having the best year of his career. Yeah, I don't know. We're recent he,

Why a sheep, I think, is the answer to here. Again, you tell people there's a trillion stars in the universe. They're like, cool. And you tell people, hey, that paint is wet. They're like, I don't know. I got to touch it. And there's just something about that. I will say this.

Herbert's first four weeks, Dolphins, Titans, I can't say the word dolphins, can I? But whatever, dolphins, Titans, Vikings, Raiders. It's pretty four pretty bad past defenses. Now he's on a buy and coming back with Dallas. And he's got this finger injury on his non-throwing hand. So part of me wonders if now is the time to get out with Herbert. But you kind of can't. I feel like you can never really trade anyone once they get hurt.

But I don't know. Like, where do you actually? Mahomes is the number eight quarterback right now in Herbert's one. Like, would you, would you still swap Herbert for Mahomes if you could. Yeah, it's close. Probably, I guess. Maybe I'm getting too cute. But I think Herbert's good enough.

I think he's in that like small group of people where I don't really give a shit about his schedule. You know what I mean? There's a select group of players in fantasy football where you're like, I don't look at who they're playing. So it doesn't really bother me that they had an easy schedule for the first four weeks of the season. Like, he's running a lot.

You know, he's got, he had two rushing TDs last week. Like, he just looks fantastic. This actually parlayes right into our number eight award here, which is the expendables four awards for old guys getting the job done. Keenan Allen, man.

Keenan Allen is the third best wide receiver in fantasy. There are some nuts stats about Keenan Allen if you go back to last year when he came back from his injury. He came back week 11 last year. Since then, he's played 12th. games from week 11 on and then the first four games of the season. So he's played in total 12 games since he came back from injury. In those 12 games, this is not an extrapolation on a 17-game pace.

This is what he has done in the last 12 games. 95 catches, 1,100 yards, 7 touchdowns. He's done that in 12 games. If you do extrapolate it at that 12-game pace that he's currently on right now, that extrapolation totals 147 catches, 1,700 yards, and 11 touchdowns. That would be the fourth best wide receiver season in the last 10 years behind two Antonio Brown seasons and Cup in 2021. And he's doing that right now. That's insane. How famous do you think he is among NFL wide receivers?

Not even top 20, 15? He's top 20, but is he top 10 famous? No. Keenan Allen? West Coast bias, once again, all you East Coasters are asleep when Keenan's racking up 18 catches a game. Let's just Chargers bias. The Chargers bias.

That's crazy. That's a perfect example of a player hiding in plain sight, except when they're still playing incredible in the next season, they're still not even getting shit. Puka Nakuha at this point. How long until Pukinukua is more famous than Keenan Allen? I'm not kidding. I think there's a chance he already is.

Don't you think? He needs an off-season. Yeah, maybe. It's such a bummer that Keenan Allen's like 31, going to be 32 next year, because if him and Herbert were the same age, they're really a perfect match with how good of a route runner Keenan Allen is and how accurate Herbert is

and how good of the hands Keenan Allen has for Herbert's like missiles. It's a shame that they're not the same age. They could have had a legitimately special career together. Speaking of like, I can't believe you're single, they're like two people who met at different stages of their life and like they know that they can only have a fling. It's a really good comp because it's like you look at Seagestroud,

Tankdale and Nico Collins and you're like, wow, like they're like timing's right. And then the Packers. I'm like, I think that team's timing right. You're like, yeah, Herbert and Keenan Allen, it's just a fling. And like, you know, Mike Williams, like, that's not going to last. He's not serious. Two ships in the night.

Yeah, Josh Palmer, Quentin Johnson. Like, I don't know. But, like, yeah, it's just, it's brutal. Damn, now I'm kind of sad. I also hate when somebody's, like, 17 games statistics don't fit perfectly in one season where you have to split them over two seasons because nobody really appreciates those stats as much. Like, everybody likes it in that tight window of, like, it needs to be in the same season.

Like, nobody's considering this Keenan-Allen-Pace. on because it's happened in two different years. Okay, well, start the clock, Kai. I'm going to literally insert one right now to this award, which the 17 game pays award right now. Because you know who actually has the best freaking example of that? Christian McCaffrey. Do you know, let me see here.

I'm not even going to include playoffs, and Christian McCaffrey's played really well in the playoffs. Christian McCaffrey has played, I'm doing this live right now. Christian McCaffrey has played exactly 15 games for the Niners, plus three in the playoffs. So what is that? That's 18. Christian McCaffrey, just that 15 regular season games,

1,200 rushing yards, 12 touchdowns, 600 receiving five touchdowns. So overall, that if it was across a 17 game season, which that's not very much to say, because it's 15, so you're basically just extrapolating 15 to 17. That would be a season of over 2,000 yards from scrimmage and 20 touchdowns. That is literally something he has already done as a 49er.

And we talk about Brock Purdy. This is my thing with Brock Purdy. Like, again, I'm not saying Brock Purdy's bad or anything. My thing with Brock Purdy is McCaffrey is Christian McCaffrey, honestly, has had one of the best running back seasons we've had since Derek Henry, Chris Johnson, like, Lidane and Tomlinson and Adrian Peterson in the last two running back seasons.

I'm like definitively better than McAfry's last 17 games. Yeah, he's really getting up there on the all-time list in fantasy. I mean, he's creeping into like top five all-time, wouldn't you say? I think so. Like, Lidane and Tomlinson, it's weird because the guys before fantasy was the thing. I don't count, no offense to Bill's in it. I don't count the pre-internet. Like, I just won't.

If people were mailing box scores to their friends, doesn't count. No. Ledany and Thomason will always be won because you can just take him first and then win your league. But that is kind of over now. All right. Next up here, the clown car that drove into a gold mine award, it's for the Cowboys defense. And I say that because I think a lot of people probably auto-drafted their way into the Dallas defense. I have a friend as a Cowboys fan who started his draft like C.D. Tony Pollard, DAC.

Like literally, and they took the Cowboys. defense in the sixth round. And it's like Mark Zuckerberg once called Twitter a clown car that drove into a goldmine. And that's how I feel about my friend who's like has this Cowboys defense that just like it's, the Cowboys have 80 points in fantasy. Like it's the second most fantasy points any defense has had through four weeks in the last decade. It's like, don't you have people in your league like that that just have this Cowboys defense? And you're like, oh my God.

Yeah. The person that I always hate in my league every year is the guy who like reaches way too early on a defense, but that guy reached and got the Dallas defense and now looks really smart. And honestly, most of the time it works out. Like, usually the guy who reaches three rounds too early and gets, like, the unanimous best of defense in the league, usually that defense is pretty good. We're pretty good at predicting which defenses are going to be great. So I don't know if, like, I'm officially converted into, like, you should draft a defense guy,

but Dallas is kind of changing my mind. Well, we're not always great at predicting which fantasy defenses, because, like, so much of defense is continuity and, like, keeping healthy. Yeah, I guess fantasy defense is better. You're right. Like, it's hard to know. And so much of it's also turnover-based and turnovers are so fickle year-to-year. I think the Cowboys, it's actually their style of defense is creating turnovers.

But more importantly, the Cowboys defense has been so good. Here's my question for you. I can't imagine it's so hard to trade for defense. But how many tight ends would you keep instead of the Cowboys defense? Like Kelsey Hawkinson, Mark Andrews, Leporta. Would you trade the Cowboys defense away if you were getting Darren Waller? No. that's how brutal for Darren Wall.

Darren Wall, I actually think it's a by-low because everyone who has him is freaking done with him. And I'm sorry to everyone has him, but I think Hold'em. The Dallas D is 80 points this year. Justin Jefferson is 86. You're starting like the best wide receiver in the league as your defense.

Did you start Evan Engram? Would you trade the Cowboys D for Evan Engram? I'd be like, no, I got a key. He's right on the border because he's actually been pretty good. He just hasn't scored a touchdown. Brees Hall. He's close. Who has,

Breece Hall for the Dallas Cowboys defense, who has less than half of the points. Yeah. Yeah. Running back's hard. It's close. I think about it. Maybe I had a little sweetener and I do it.

I will say, you mentioned earlier there are some players you don't care who they're playing. Does that account for the Cowboys defense? Because the Cowboys ran a rough shot on like the Giants and like the Patriots and the Jets. But Dallas now coming up, they play the Niners on Sunday football,

and their playoff schedule for the fantasy playoffs. Week 14 is the Eagles. Week 15 is the Bills. Week 16 is the Dolphins. Week 17 is the Lions. Would you just trade the Cowboys' Defense and see if you get an actual player? Yeah, probably. It's a great idea.

We'll get to that in our trade deadline show. Next up here we have the heartbreaking, the worst person you know, just made a great point award for D'Andre Swift. All right. I'm giving this to D'Andre Swift Truthers. Because, like, we all know those people. Like, they just wouldn't give up. They wouldn't quit D'Andre Swift.

And it sucks because it turns out they were right. They never give up, even after he was traded for a fourth-run pick. Because they've loved him. They've always loved him. They were like doomsday conspirators who kept like pushing the date the world was going to end back a year after the current date like came and went. And they're like, no, no, it's actually going to be next year that Swift is going to take off. Like, you'll see. Dave Campbell, next year.

You're the Mayan with the Gregorian. It's actually 2013 now. He was like a hyped movie that flopped but still had truthers. It's like me with Babylon. Release the Swift cut? Yeah, seriously. But now it's like Babylon wins like an Oscar five years later. That's like what's going on with the Andre Swift.

I wanted to ask you a question, though, because he's been awesome. He's the running back six since becoming the starter in week two. Over six yards of carry, third in the league. Which Swift has had a better year, him or Taylor, relative to where they were at the beginning of the year? Like percent increase? Yeah, just like, who's had a better 2023 relative to where they were when they started the year?

Taylor Swift is already the biggest pop star in the world. This reminds me of how somewhat, like, we got something wrong because we said that Apple was the best performing stock since, like, 1999. And actually, it's the second best, monster energy drinks is the best performing stocks. Yes. And like, Taylor Swift is Apple in this where you're like, okay. But I see what you're saying we're, well, by percentage, by percentage, technically, monster energy drinks has had a better three decades. I'm like, I don't know about that.

It's a bummer because, like, what's happening with the Andre Swift and the Eagles is kind of exactly what I envisioned for Rashad Penny. this is exactly what I thought would happen for Rashad Penny. It just happened for Dandre Swift. So kind of a bummer. Or heartbreaking. But he's been so good. You also made an important point here that we glossed over, which is all those like doomsday preppers,

like the people in the show and the people who like have, the underground bunkers. So this other guy with like a missile silo, like hundreds of feet underneath the earth. And he purchased the land and it like has a bunker there. We should do the fantasy underground bunker guys. That should be an episode. Well, that's pretty good.

But it was just like, can you imagine if the world ends how annoying those people will be? Well, we'll all be dead. So that'll actually be sweet relief. We won't have to hear the glows. I know, but the people like us living feudally on their land because they own everything left and they have control all the food. Can you imagine how much they'll just talk about how much they were right? Oh, you'll never hear the end of it. It's like me with Mbop.

It's the same thing. I'm never going to shut up about it. Hyve it's not kidding. We did a live rewatchables on Monday night. Stop it. What? Did this come up? Before the show.

Before the show. No, see, like, look, the fans of the rewatch was going. I was like, maybe a few of them listened to fantasy. A few of them did. They came up to me. They joked about it. That was fine. The crazy part is, is before the show, Bill, Chris, Sean, and I went to get dinner like, I don't

know, six blocks away at this place. We get dinner. As we're walking out, some guy in the street has one air pod in, and he starts yelling at us. And to be honest, I kind of thought it was a crazy person. We didn't really know what was going on. It was dark. He seemed like kind of manic. And we were like, you know, we didn't know what to do.

We were kind of walking away. And then Sean goes, I think he's talking about Mbop. And I look back and he is. And he's yelling to me. I don't know. I don't know how he recognized me. And he goes, Mbop was a way bigger song, Craig. You were right.

And I was like, holy shit. This guy's just because on LaBreya, walking up and down, trying to find anybody he can to tell people that Mbop was bigger than teenagers. That was like the real highlight of my life. Apex Mountain for me. I feel like the skip Bayliss of like late 90s pop. Just like driving people crazy in the streets. I couldn't believe it.

He was like yelling unbop at me. Like he was one of those people in like the corners of the street like trying to like, you know, shill some religious message. He was like, Mbubb, you were right. Impop is the one true song. He's like the day of reckoning is coming. I wow that so I actually kudos to you for not not even telling me that till just now that's incredible yeah well I figured you were down enough on Monday night I didn't want to so did um did Sean and Bill and

Chris and them were they like wow show's going great or they like well God what's up with hyphids Bill didn't know about the controversy Sean and Chris did though um they thought it was you know great content they were obviously on my side because they're rational sensible people but... Old. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry. That's the difference.

It's because I'm like seven months older than you. That's why I knew Mbop. Yeah, it's sure out of touch. While we're on the Mbop, because we're here too much. And I'm going to keep saying it wrong because I just think it bothers people. But the Mbop, I didn't... We're not going to go to it again. But I thought that it was a song that was like bigger than teenagers and it's a whole thing.

But we started talking also about how many Mbopps are in Mbop. And then we were like, what's the song with the most uses of a single word? So shout out everyone email. We got a lot of emails in this. Emails to ring your fantasy football at gmail.com. Go for it. We got a lot of people shouting,

Booty Man by Tim Wilson, 71 Booties. Do I know that song? I don't know, do you? Do you? How does it go? I'm done singing things on this show. You can look it up in your own time.

There's Gucci Gang, which 53, Gucci Gang, Gucci Gets, of those. Okay. But the two ones that I think are up there, around the world by Daft Punk. which has said 145 times the phrase around the world. No other lyrics in the song.

No other lyrics, but around the world. That's good. So they're the tangent percentage-wise, you know, they're the monster. But the number one, and this depends if he counts, Versace by Migos. Oh. Wow. Kind of like close to a milly where it's like,

Versace is like an instrument in a way, and that's something. But Versace, 163 times. It might count because Migos are, they are saying Versace, it's not a background track, right? Yeah, no, they are saying it. Yeah, that's not bad. Somebody I think emailed us right before we started. Hey, Jude must be up there.

They say Jude a lot in that song. No, but the problem is the, the problem is the tempo. And it's like, Migos is speaking so much faster that I don't think, I don't think, AJ can compete with it. Like, you're like, oh, that's a lot. I'm like, we got other ones. I don't have it in front of me, but there were a bunch of people who were like, hey, oh, like, Roxanne. He says Roxanne a lot. I'm like, yeah, it's like 25.

It's probably like, oh yeah, yeah, right, yeah. I mean, umba, what was it 17 times or something? Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, Versace's, you know, Nigos. That makes sense that it's a rap song. Yeah, that'd be. Okay, wait, back to power. I want to just honorable mention real quick, Mike Evans,

who we never talk about, I feel like, but top 10 receiver through a month. Refusing to die, Mike Evans, just, he's a cockroach every single year. It's going to get the thousand yards. I respect Mike Evans because he's going to get the thousand yards and then dip for December, they're out of the playoffs, just like hit free agency. I can't wait to be like 53 years old,

bouncing my son on my knee. I guess he'll probably be a little bit older to be bouncing on my knee when I'm 53. I was going to say, what's your plan here? I don't know, but Mike Evans is going to be putting a thousand yards a year. And you said 53 and then you didn't know what to do.

But yeah, you're going to tell your grandkids about that eight years in a row? No, he'll still be going, but that was my point. And I'll be 53 and he'll still be playing. He's going to be the Tom Brady of wide receivers. Thousand yards every year. Also, show. I want to shout out Zach Moss because Jonathan Taylor might come back.

Zach Moss missed week one. Top seven running back last three weeks, though. Zach Moss. How about that? Good for him. He's been great. And I don't think Jonathan Taylor's going to play this week, too. Don't trade Zach Moss because I have no idea what's going on with Jonathan Taylor.

I don't think Zach Moss is a sell high. Hold on to him because he's been great. Yeah, no one's going to trade for him at the price he is. But, I mean, any game, Jonathan Taylor misses whether for whatever reason he just does want to play, he gets hurt or once gets traded, like at any point, Zach Moss can just keep him good. All right. This is our power hour. Check out our rankings for week five, fantasy football.

Dot the ringer.com. Check out our rankings. Those will be live on Thursday. And we also have waiver rankings as well if you want to check that out. I think it's time for some emails, Craig. Let's do it. Can I get any emails? Emails.

Sorry, D.K. usually does that. Oh, yeah. I miss him so much. I forgot about that guy. All right, we got a lot of emails. We were talking about on the last show, but Nicholas Cage. And Craig was talking about how you respect Nicholas Cage. because he's never been in a Marvel movie.

Mm-hmm. Okay, so Nicholas Cage has been in a Marvel movie. Shout out to Brandon and Regina. Nicholas Cage is in the, he is the voice of the noir Spider-Man in the Spider-Verse. Okay, okay, I guess. But the real thing, he was in a Marvel movie. I don't think it's technically like the MCU films,

but he was in Ghost Rider. Yes, that's the other thing we heard. That doesn't count. We heard a lot about that. Well, Ghost Right, first of all, Marvel movie came out the Year of Iron Man, and two, he did make Ghost Rider and Ghost Rider too. So what's your point here? Like, not being at Marvel's supposed to be sellout for money.

And at least the Marvel movies are good. Ghost Rider's, Ghost Rider. Ghost Rider does not count. And you know what? I'm actually going to spin this to say that I respect Nick Cage for doing it before it was cool. Ghost Rider was 07. Like, that was before Marvel was cool.

So Nick Cage was ahead of the game back then. What is your take with Nick Cage? You're like an animal backed into a corner here. I don't really have a take with Nick Cage. I was just kind of admiring his career. And I think he makes a lot of interesting choice. especially lately. I was like, I like that he hasn't done like the, the, you know, Robert De Niro thing where he's just like in shitty comedies or he's doing the Robert Redford showing up for

Captain America for like 10 minutes a movie. I like that he's like making weird stuff. He's in a new A24 film that looks really interesting and weird where he plays a professor that keeps popping up in everybody's dreams. Like he's just making weird shit. No one was saying Nicholas Cage doesn't make weird career choices. No one's like out here being like he's normal. had Nick Cage is not a sellout in the latter stage of his career. He didn't even make National Treasure 3. Come on. I don't think anyone wanted to buy.

Oh, I don't know about that. Nick Cage, come on. Why was that movie about his life? Was that good? I just know the meme of him in Patriot Pascal. I don't actually know the movie. The Unbearable Way to Massive Talent. I heard it was good. I actually never saw it. But people thought it was fun in my little bubble. You should check it out.

All right. I guess I should. This is from Sarah. Sarah. Welcome. Mbop. We were talking about what are the Hansen Brothers up to now.

Hansen Brothers have a brewery and the beer they make is called m hops. Stop. Yes. Yeah. I hope all they serve are blonde ales. Yeah, I'm on their website.

It's Hansenbrothers beer.com. They have m hops and then a bunch of references maybe to other songs. I don't know the other songs. That's really funny. It's a pale ale. Oh, it's a pale ale. Come on. You got to do it.

a blonde ale. Blondale's are my favorite kind of beer. You know what I always wanted to make. My friends and I used to joke that if our career's never worked out, we would all move to a random city and open a brewery. A blonde ale is my favorite type of beer. I'm actually wearing a St. Archer's shirt right now, which is my favorite brewery and they have a St. Archer blonde. They shut down during COVID, which is a huge bummer. And I can't find the blondeails anywhere. They're officially gone. But I always wanted to make a dirty blonde ale where it was like a blonde ale but with a high alcohol percentage, you know? Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. No one's done it yet. Just like a blonde deal with like an ABV of like 7.1

or like 6 and a half. Right now they're all light. They're like 4 or 5. It's dirty, blonde. That's good. You just can give that away for free? We could be hitting up the Hanson brothers. Get the Hanson brothers on the horn here, huh? I got an idea for you guys. I'll be the fourth brother. He gets Sean McVeigh, and you could do the whole Brady bunch. That's true.

Is M-Hop's the name of the brewery or just the beer? The beer. It's the Hanson Brothers Beer Co. I'm not going to, you know, easy to remember. Okay. Oh, I see it here. Hansen Brothers Beer Co. Tulsa, Oklahoma. I think we could get them on.

You know what's really funny about this website is the first sentence doesn't mention that they're Hanson of like Hanson fame. It's like, we are a small beer business based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, founded by three brothers and friends who are passionate about craft beer. It's not until like the sixth sentence

that they're like, these guys are in the band Hanson. They think that would be the lead line. They wanted to do it, you know, that their own success, you know. They wanted to just do it on their own. Talking about music also. I was talking about Pitbull, and I mentioned Hotel Motel Holiday Inn from Hotel Room Service,

not realizing some, Andrew emailed in to say that's actually a line from rappers to light by the Sugar Hill Gang. And I completely whiffed on that. I'm very familiar with that song. I used to love that song growing up. Yeah, so shout of Sugar Hill Gang. Also, more embarrassing Zoom stories. A lot of emails we've gotten over the month, honestly more than I'm comfortable sharing, about people who basically, it's like professors mic up, and then they have to go to the bathroom.

and then they get Zoom anyway. This is from Redacted who wanted to share the story but did not want to share his name. Redacted. Redacted. In the last few months, I've gotten married, bought my first home, had my first baby, and started a new remote shop.

Wow. That's a lot. Obviously, I've got a lot riding on this job. I've taken it more seriously than any of my previous jobs. There was a company-wide meeting at 1 p.m. Prior to the meeting, I grab my newborn child and she throws up all over my shoulders and my neck. So I tried to just grit it out of this meeting,

but the smell was just unbearable. And so I decided to transfer the call to my cell phone, and I took a shower. And I get out of the shower, and I headed the closet, and I see that I have a lot of notifications in the chat. People telling me to turn off my camera. My heart sank,

and I got that feeling you get when you're about to be pulled over by the police. And 50 minutes later, I get a message from my man, asking me, quote, if I own a shirt. I don't really understand the angles here because, oh, I guess did he set his, I'm assuming he set his phone up, like standing up so he could look at what's going on in the meeting while showering.

Because typically I would think he would have it like lying flat on a desk. But I guess if he wanted to watch what was going on in the meeting, he would have it facing him in the shower. That's so brutal. So what does he do? Like, how do you, like, cringe? you just swap lives of someone? Like he's got a lot going on.

It can't just life swap here. Or maybe just swap out. You just bail. Just fuck the lemons and bail. That is, that's really bad. That's honestly, that might be the new number one. If anybody can top that, please, please send it in. That's worse than the professor taking it.

I don't think it's worse than the professor. Taking a crap in the bathroom. He was naked on camera in front of all of his coworkers. Well, so I will say this. So he said HR got involved. A couple farts in a stuff. tall that's not worse I don't know but with college kids

you're like in charge of the professor you gotta keep teaching them I like that yeah I guess I think I think there's a world in which you like lean into that or something but I don't know if you can do it at this the Zoom thing it's like deep in your DNA to like not be heard in the bathroom though it's like deeper like

yeah there's a sense of security in there yeah it's like one of the few things we still have in common with all these other mammals is really no I'm supposed to see this but HR he said HR got involved. I kept my job. I've been the brunt of jokes getting random links to wholesale t-shirt companies and YouTube links to write said Fred. Oh man. That's honestly really tough. And he's going to resent his child for that forever. You're going to blame the kid? You have to displace blame to get over it.

That's what I'm doing with him, Bob. All right. We got an email here. Someone asked a really good question. This is from, oh no, I think this is from Andrew. If it's not from Andrew, I'm sorry, whoever sent this This was a good question, and I lost your name. Maybe Andrew. I'm under the shuffle. Maybe Andrew. He asked about how do you reignite a spark in a loveless league?

Like, how do you spice up a league that's getting boring? Okay. And he was talking about he has already tried drafting four rookies, or sorry, putting four rookies in his lineup in week one. He's sending trade offers. She's talking dropping gifts in the group chat. And none of it's quite working.

And it happens, you know, with together, same people for a long time. Things get a little, you know, pattern. No surprise. I don't know, Craig. You're the love master here. How do you spice up a league? I don't know why I'm a love master. What about they need a fantasy role play?

Should we write the fantasy commasutra? Is that what you're saying? I think, look, there are definitely things you could do, right? I think you could start to institute weekly bets. That always works. head-to-head bets with punishments, small things. You have to shotgun a beer. Loser has to, I don't know, whatever you want.

You guys can get creative with that. Do personal bets. That always works. New rules. Switch from a single QB to a two QB. Do an in-person draft next season. You know what I mean? There are things you can do.

Communication is key, like all things. Got to be on the same page. I will say I like D.K.'s rule that he has, is a league where if anybody in your lineup that you started against a zero, you have to shotgun a beer and film it and send it to the group. Great rule. I also like, I like the rule that if the winner gets to change

a rule for the next season within reason. Oh, yeah. That's like a Kings Cup rule. Yeah, it's Kings Cup for fantasy. I mean, look, if you want to get really frisky, I still think the Bill Simmons League rule is the greatest I've ever heard. There's 13 people in the league. They all show up to

the draft. One gets voted out and has to head home. It's the best rule that's ever been created in fantasy football. That's so incredible. You know what I mean? Add one person to your league. Go from 12 to 13 and then do that. You know, it's like adding a, you know, it's a menagerge etoix in fantasy. Add another person in.

Spice things up. Add a 13th. Email us that ring our fantasy football on Gmail.com if you have ideas and how to spice up a league. Ringer Fantasy Football. Baker's dozen. I like that. Yeah. That's what you call the league from now on, the Baker's dozen.

All right, that's all we got. That's good. No, write that one down. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode. Thank you, Jack. Thank you, Kira. Thank you, Tucker.

Everyone behind the scenes. Thank you, Lorne. Lauren, thank you, Weird Al. I thought you're going to go Sugar Hill, gang. Oh, well, no, what with Weird Al? Oh, Weird Al. All right, shout out Weird Al. He's probably done a Sugar Hill spoof.

You know, that guy's really hit every corner. Weird Al, I feel like white and nerdy. I'll speak it at one at wonders, Camillionaire. Right and Dirty. He had another one in a wonder. I don't know. He had another one and then that was it.

Camillionaire had a, he had a second song. Maybe turn it up. I can sing it in my head right now. I want to show all of my hate is love. This song's for you. Good morning. No.

Is it good morning? Good morning. Good morning. Yes. It's good morning. Yes. Right and Dirty was sick. There was a Weird Al movie

and Daniel Ratcliffe played Weird Al. Yeah, what was up with that? I actually heard it was all right. Ratcliffe. Talk about another guy who started commercial, heavily commercial. Now just doing weird indie shit. Well, that makes sense because you sign up. He's trying to get away from the Harry Potter.

They all are. They're just all just, and then Ron Weasley is just like, I'm just not going to do anything because I'll just always be Ron Weiss. And Emma Watson, like, didn't she like leave college? Because everyone just kept in every class she was in was being like five points for Gryffindor. Being famous doesn't sound great. What is it like, Haifitz? Tell us, what does it like to be famous?

I don't know. You're the one getting yelled at on the street on La Brea, just people being like, Impop was the bigger song. Well, that's because of you, really. Your response to all that. I think it was an us thing. Stronger together. Left side. Strong side. All right. Well, D.K. will be back. We think next episode.

So I can't wait. I won't, you know what we should have D.K. do? You know how Rasillo did a two and a half hour pod about his travels in Spain? Should we just give D.K. an episode to just talk about his stuff. It's time in Europe. It's actually really funny. Honestly, maybe. That's for the Patreon. Well, so people should know that the reason Dicke was out was because I kept saying

Dick had gone 374 episodes in a row without explosive diarrhea, but then the street ended. The strike ended and the streak ended. Pretty impressive. Simultaneously. All right, goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fando is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino LLC. the gambling problem.

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