The Ringer NFL Show - Rodgers Cooks, Dolphins Freeze, and Week 16 Waivers

Episode Date: December 16, 2025

The guys react to the Steelers' win over the Dolphins on ‘Monday Night Football.’ Then, SHOWDOWN TIME! The guys discuss must-add players at each position ahead of NFL Week 16. (00:00) Intro (01:53) ‘Monday Night Football’ (19:30) RB Waivers: Michael Carter, Jacory Croskey-Merritt, Brian Robinson (27:04) WR Waivers: Jayden Reed, Jalen Coker, Jayden Higgins (37:26) TE Waivers: Darren Waller, Colston Loveland, Colby Parkinson (50:43) QB Waivers: Trevor Lawrence, Jacoby Brissett, Marcus Mariota (51:47) D/ST Waivers: 49ers, Vikings, Chiefs (58:16) Emails Check out our 2025 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Click here to join our Discord! Email us! [e-mail] Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producers: Kai Grady, Carlos Chiriboga, Ronak Nair, and Ryan Garcia Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyphen. I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Worldbeck, and we're going over all the players. You should add entry week 16, the fantasy football semi-finals, or just not coming and last in your league, if you're in the toilet bowl,

in which case we're sorry and probably our fault. Whatever you need, we're going to go through the players and the barn burner that was the Steelers Dolphins, Monday-Nit football playoff game. But if it was fantasy, was pretty riveting if you needed points from Jalen Waddle or Darren Waller.

Wow. What a game. And boy, do we have a great show for you tonight. Jennifer Lopez is here. Stick around and we'll be right back. This episode is presented by Chime. Bank Smarter this season. Fantasy football is all about strategy.

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APY means annual percentage yield. Learn more at chime.com. All right. Steelers Dolphins. That was kind of hard to watch. The Steelers won 2815. It was both way closer and way not at all whatsoever closer than that final score because as Troy Aikman nailed it,

one of the stranger fourth quarters he's ever seen because the dolphins should have maybe had a chance to come back and they just took like five and a half minutes to try to score on the final. huddling. They were huddling. It was actually insane. They were shocked at the time at the end, but the Steelers were so much better throughout Craig. How did you feel watching the Steelers probably end up winning the division, honestly, if they can beat the Ravens in the last week of the season? It's looking like, once again,

the Steelers are going to have a winning season. The Steelers are now eight and six. They play the Lions, then they play Cleveland, and then they finish with Baltimore. So they need one win out of the next three games to be over 500. I thought they looked outside. The first quarter was a mess. Both teams looked like shit. And then the Steelers snuck ahead seven three to go into the half. And then after that, the Steelers actually looked pretty good. They had a really dominant third quarter. Rogers was awesome. I think my big takeaway from this game is that Troy Ackman fucking hates the dolphins. He was so upset with how they handled the fourth quarter.

He was upset with how you pronounce Devon A. Chan's name at the end. He was upset all the way through. But this is a classic Steelers win. They didn't have TJ Watts. Maybe he was hungry. I think he was shocked that the dolphins were huddling down three touchdowns. Yeah, but what does Devon Aitchan's name have to do with any of that? He was bored, angry, and cold. Yeah, that's fair. They have to kind of stand outside.

He's crappy. He's crappy. Feel the weather. Like, they're all in their big coats there. I don't know. If you look at the stat sheet of this game, it does not tell the story of the game. Like, it says that, you know, Tua was essentially a better stats than Rogers. If you just check the box score, 22 for 28, 253, two touchdowns.

He basically has identical. stats to Rogers, but that was all fourth quarter kind of garbage time stuff. They couldn't do anything for three quarters. And honestly, my thinking of this game, so the dolphins are essentially, you know, it's over for Miami. And sorry to Carlos. But I was thinking about this. Are the Dolphins the last franchise you'd want to be right now?

Carlos is going to lose his mind. Carlos is so pissed. They had a five-game winning streak. We didn't talk about it once. they lose money to football. We're back on them. I don't know if they're the last team you'd want to be, but it's not great because I think we went from thinking

Mike McDaniel will be the first coach fired. Carlos was ranting before the show, but he's right that I don't think Mike McDaniel is the problem. It's Tua, but we talked about this the other day, that Tua, they can't get rid of Tua next season. Two is untradable, uncutable. Two is the quarterback next year. DK, I wanted to ask you this,

because watching Tua again, obviously he's had, like, he's had so many injuries. Obviously, all the concussions get the headlines, but he also had the tightrope surgery at his ankle, he had a hip injury. And I was watching the other day, too, actually in college. I was watching old tape of Tua at Alabama. And I was kind of reminded, Tua used to have a great arm.

He used to have way more juice, both as an athlete in terms of moving around and with his arm. Obviously, like, I think a lot of the power for your throw comes from your lower half. And, you know, he just doesn't have that anymore. It's a kinetic chain that goes from your, like, the fucking tips of your toes to the fingers. and every injury, it's kind of like leaking energy. And Carlos made the point before. Like, he's getting worse. Like, he's getting worse.

I mean, the other thing is, and look, this is true for everybody that comes from college to the NFL, but like the guys in the NFL are bigger, faster, and stronger. And relative to those guys, Tua, he's just not fast enough. He's not, he can't move in the pocket. If you force him off his first read, things get really dicey.

He actually made a handful, maybe like two or three plays out of structure in this game that kind of kept the dolphins, at least making it interesting. But like, at the end of the day, Like, if he doesn't just hit his back foot and get the ball out, that offense is a fucking disaster. Like, the run game is what keeps that offense afloat. Tua is not necessarily even helping the passing game anymore as much as he used to.

I think you could, like, when they resigned him, I think you could at least defend the decision that, like, he was the guy that made the passing game go in terms of the timing and how quickly he got the ball out and the decisiveness and all that. But it doesn't really feel like he has any of that anymore. At least it's definitely waned a lot. No, yeah. The Steelers kind of sold out to stop the run today really well, and then it just left to a kind of flailing back there. It's just tough. He can't, the mobility is so, is so limited. His arm is so limited now,

and it's kind of just like, I don't really know what his thing is that you can work off of, unless, like you said, DK, it's like this really tight in-rhythm stuff. He can still do that. But if anything breaks down, I mean, the Steelers did not have a pass rush tonight at all. Because he had no TJR. They could not get pressure at all. And he was still struggling. I mean, their second, Steelers secondary is not that good. There were guys weren't open.

Two couldn't find anybody and was still taking sacks just because he couldn't throw the ball. I mean, he ended up 22. He only had four in completions. Six. He had six. Sorry, six incompletions. But it was all fourth quarter.

It was all garbage. It was all garbage guys. So, yeah, I mean, he just, yeah, they did not have an offense for the first three quarters. They kind of made it look interesting towards the end there. but yeah, I don't know. I'm with you guys. I just think, like, it's kind of at this point,

it's like they're in purgatory until this contract runs out. Oh, Ben Solack, our buddy, had this stat from, this is perfect. Two o's six out of ten for 65 yards with a pick, two sacks on four pressures through the first three quarters. And then obviously, like, he put some numbers up in the fourth quarter. They literally didn't get a first down from midway through the second quarter until I think in the middle of the fourth quarter, they didn't have a first down.

Most of their throws in the first three quarters of the game was him like checking down to tight ends and running backs. Like he wasn't until the fourth quarter that he started throwing over the middle of the field. They don't have a downfield passing game. And for an offense that is so much was about juice and all this stuff, I think it's amazing how often honestly Devon H.N's the only guy he could really consistently break tackles. So, but yeah, I mean, overall, it is about the quarterback.

And Tua, he has so many of the, it's a weird combination of the limitations that like Phil Rivers, has, which is he doesn't do a ton in the pocket. Current? Current? Yeah, the current one. Like, where I'm not saying it's that bad with the arm strength, but teams don't have to respect the deep all.

Now Carlos is really mad. Now Carlos is really bad. What I'm just saying, but it's a mix of, the player that in a really weird way, too, it reminds me of sometimes, is Jalen Hertz, which is ironic because they did the constant flip flopping in Alabama. But I, in a very obviously different stylistic quarterbacks because, too, is the last guy that's going to get tush pushed. But there are, when you watch the offense sometimes, you're like, man, this whole thing is kind of built around your game and it still looks bad at times when everything isn't perfect.

And there's a weird fragility around the dolphins the same way that kind of what you're seeing with Eagles this season. And again, obviously, I know it hurts was the Super Bowl MVP last year, but that's when everyone's healthy and everyone's doing amazing. And then this season, it's like a little things go wrong. And suddenly the Eagles like have the most three and outs. And the dolphins look like that way too sometimes. But it's just the RPOification. It was just kind of all RPO's. It's all these little things.

And there's been no development and two is processing. Like, frankly, this is, in a lot of ways still like, I don't want to say, a little bit of a gimmicky, college-ified offense. But like, it's like year six. Yeah, season six. And it's, there's no maturation of like the kind of offense he seems capable of processing.

Yeah. The thing I always come back to, and I've said this a few times, but at least in the passing game, because I think they've gotten better as a run team in terms of physicality and kind of mixing it up. They have a couple bigger guys now that are doing some things with Ollie Gordon and Jalen Wright,

but they're just too small. Like, this is a really small team. To us small, A-chan is one of the smaller running backs in the NFL. Waddle is small and not very physical, and he gets hurt all the time, like constantly going to the sideline with something. He did that again tonight,

ended up with like three points in fantasy. Their other guy, Malik Washington is like kind of the number two receiver. He's tiny. Tyreek Hill was like their number one. They lost him. The only guys that they have with any size, they had to bring Darren Waller out of retirement and get him to come back.

He's been like injured half, half the season anyway. And then you have like Greg Dulcich, I guess, who they got from the Giants, who was like flashed at times when he dropped a big two point conversion. You're all like literally cast off players. Yeah.

They brought him Nick Westbrook Aquine. This is just, it's a failure in, and this is Carlos's line. It starts at the GM. It's a failure to put together a good team. It's a failure to put together a roster that can compete in a tough and physical NFL. This is why they're fucking terrible in the cold weather. One of the reasons.

Happeless. The cold is such a thing. I'm sorry. It's a bunch of small dudes going up against really big fucking physical guys. And the cold weather especially, like that's going to show up. To circle back to Craig's question. They did the right thing. I think firing Chris Greer, the GM and keeping Mike McDaniel and everyone,

including us, thought they were going to fire Mike McDaniel. And I think that was clearly the right decision. And I think, yeah, I mean, honestly, I'm at the point where I'm like, if they fired Mike McDaniel, I'm like, fuck it. Maybe the giant should have Mike McDaniel and like, you know, Jackson Dart. Like, let him Jackson Dart. So they probably should keep. If the Dolvin's fired Mike McDaniels, he'd be the Eagles offensive coordinator next year and the Eagles will win the Super Bowl. Yeah, honestly, probably.

So I think that they made the right decision. But the reality is they've, every position the Dolphin support draft capital into, they haven't fixed the problems. And that usually gets the GM fired, usually quicker than the 20 years that Chris Greer got. But I don't think it's the worst. But yeah, they're a couple years away because Tua is not going. They're going to have to cut two in 20, 27. So it's weird. When you look at the Patriots, you look at the bills, it's not hard to feel like you're falling behind.

At least the Jets are always going to be right there with you. So the Dolphins have now lost 14 straight games with kickoff temperatures below 40 degrees, 14 in a row. I shouldn't have said that they're the most hapless organization in the week. That's probably wrong or the worst case. That's pretty rude. It's pretty rude. No one can pass the Jets. The Browns and Jets are just.

The Browns and Jets. As long as they're around, yeah. But in terms of like, I don't know, I think they're in the same bucket. Like, they're not the worst, but I think they are in the bucket of the worst. They're stuck in mediocrity. Yeah, well, it's like what you have to look forward to. At least if you're like, I don't know, the Raiders are like the, you know, Cleveland or something, you can tell yourself that like next year we could get Fernando Mendoza and like maybe we'll be good.

I mean, with Miami, the roster needs so much work. You don't have a quarterback. You're tied to a quarterback that you know is not the answer. there's a weird way in which this is the worst place to be in. That's the one thing I'll say I can already tell Carlos is going to edit this to make us he's going to he's going to do horrible. I love Tua. I love Tua. He's amazing.

But I'm just saying if the Dolphins win two of their last three, they will not have one less than eight games since 2019. So I mean they have won nine or ten or eight games every single year through this. But they're the kind of the definition of their. They're just purgatory to me. Yeah, they're in purgatory. Would you rather be the Browns or the, or the dolphins? The dolphins. By far.

The Browns are the worst team in the fucking century, and then they paid a quarter of a billion dollars to Deshawn Watson at three first round picks. I can't imagine. Going forward right now, if you had to bet four years from now, which team is better? The Browns or the Dolphins?

The Dolphins. I will literally, you ask me about that same question, but for every team in all four sports, including the Athletics, I would take the Browns last. How many teams would you take instead of Miami? Or I guess how many teams would you take below Miami?

Would you rather be the Jets or Miami? Jets, Browns and Raiders, I think, have to be below. Saints? Saints, too, yeah. Yeah, sure. Like, the Jets, Browns and Raiders were coming up on like 20, combined 70 years where they've had like six of the, those three teams have been relevant for like six of the last 70 years

if you combine their 21st century run. Where do you put the Titans? Isn't Miami's playoff win record worse than those teams? Yeah, but like they haven't won a playoff game quite some time. But they've been winning 8 to 11 games every year for a while.

Like yeah, they're not horrible, but they're just purgatory. It just depends on how you look at it, I think. Craig's definitely looking at it from like, I don't know. With the Cardinals. Like hope and vibes. I feel like hope is always the worst

with the Browns for some reason. Like the Jets, people don't even have hope with the Jets. That's, yeah. The concept has died. probably Jets, Raiders, Saints, and Browns, and then Miami. I think you're right. The one thing I want to say about the Steelers also before we move on here is I just

want to acknowledge the thing they said at the end of the broadcast. I know. We didn't talk about the one very much, but I feel like. Well, Carlos has berated us because he's right. Carlos wanted to talk about Miami. I have to, this stat they said at the end of the broadcast, I thought was unbelievable. The Monday Night Football stat at home? The Steelers have won 23 straight home games on Monday Night Football.

At home. Yeah, so Home Monday to Football games. Tomlin is 12 and O. Coward didn't lose either. Hill Cowr was 11 at O. So the last Steelers coach to lose a home game for Pittsburgh a Monmouth football was Chuck Knoll. Yeah.

What? 23 and O in their last 23 games. What year was that? Holy shit. Ninety-two. Damn. I thought that was crazy. Also the first game where two tight ends had a rushing touchdown.

We didn't even mention the fantasy part of how. Can we can't talk about the, we can't talk about this whole game without talking about DK Metcalf's fucking insanely awesome touchdown. Fucking Cyborg Terminator. touchdown, shook a guy, stiff-armed his way. He stiff-armed a guy like backwards. It was very weird. I've never seen it.

I've never seen that style of stiff-arm. He, like, caught at the ball, and the guy was, like, behind him, and he just kind of, like, shoved him down with his back hand. He, like, it was weird. It, like, propelled him forward. He, like, sucked the energy from the DB behind him to push him into the end zone. And then he stiff-armed another guy. Big boys, dude.

It's just tight-ins and D.K. Metcalfe running around. These are the two, the biggest difference. in terms of the style of these two offenses is the, is the Steelers versus the Dolphins. The Steelers are coming out with D.K. Metcalfe, like three tight-end cents. Frickin Darnell Washington. They're,

like, yeah. And then you have the dolphins who are just like these little, itty-bitty guys. I think because of what Rogers is still capable of, I do think that the Steelers can win a playoff game. Like, if it's the right matchup, like, if they play the Chargers, they could beat the Chargers at the playoffs at home.

Yeah. Outside of the Chargers, honestly, are the only team is going to make the playoff field. I don't think it's, win the game. I feel like maybe they have Herbert. But I don't know. I feel like there is the parody this season, I feel more confident that any given

team could win a playoff game this year. Whereas there's always two or three where you're like they have no fucking chance. Like, you know what I mean? There's always a couple of teams that squeak in. You're like they're going to get rocked. Oh, like, I think the Steelers could be Jacksonville and and the Chargers.

I mean, the Patriots, even though like, you know, like even though that game in September wasn't as close as the score seems because they kept fumbling the ball, the Patriots did. Like, the nature of the division winners this year, I don't think you have a ton of confidence that been to playoffs. Yeah, because, like, at the end of the day, Rogers can still have a game where he looks pretty good.

And if the protection is right and, like, he's kind of in the flow, you kind of know if it's going to be a good Rogers game or not in the first quarter. And so if it's the right game and they can run the ball a little bit, I think the Steelers could win, ugly their way to a win. Well, it's week 18. If the beat the Ravens, they're in, probably. And if they lose, they're out. And even if they are, they're out.

Honestly, I think the Steelers are going to bring Tomlin back. they're going to bring Rogers back or they're going to do this again. Isn't it? Don't they, if they win one of the next two, aren't they automatically in? It depends,

but I think you probably have to be Baltimore. Yeah. I think if Baltimore loses one more game and the Steelers win one more game, it might be moot, but I could be wrong. Yeah. Steelers lines next week.

Okay. Enough about that. What a game. What a game. It was a game. Another great prime time game. It was another. It was another.

one of the games that happened this NFL season. If you had Darren Waller or Jalen Waddle, you had very different experiences tonight if you had stuff on the line. Yeah, nothing happened until the fourth quarter. Like, everybody was just sweating out their fantasy matchups and basically until the Dolphins Garbage Time stuff started

and two actually put together a decent fantasy day because it was rough. Like the first half, he almost had negative points. It was ridiculous. Also, I'm looking up right now. If you win the Ravens game, it doesn't matter. I know, but what if the Steelers win a game before the Ravens game?

It doesn't change it a ton. If you lose to like the Lions next week. But beat the Browns? It doesn't change a ton. Like you'd have to, like you'd have to, if you go to no into that game, that's one conversation. It's a wrap. Yeah. No, it depends.

Okay. Let's get to all the players. You should add entering week 16. All right. Let's get to waivers. We're going to go through players position. By position. My voice cracked.

That's how long we've been doing it. It's week 15, entering week 16. People know how it works. So we're going to go position by position. We're going to go. We're going to tell you who we pick. And if we don't pick the same player, we'll do a trivia tiebreaker. It's not complicated.

You'll figure it out. People probably know how it works by now. So without further ado, DK, entering week 16, if you're still either fighting into the semifinals or just trying to avoid last place. Who's the number one running back you would add off of waivers, entering week 16. I think I'm going to go with Blake Corum for the Rams.

I will say the Seahawks. We've been saying Blake Corum for the month. I'm like doing the Bernie meme. Like I'm once again asking you to add Blake Corum for kind of loud. If you haven't yet, I don't know what to tell you. Should we graduate Blake Corum out of this exercise? Let's do it.

Probably because I feel like even though he's 40% in Yahoo, it's because, you know, half these leagues are fake and the people, the real leagues, somebody has break. So let's graduate him. I think the next person on this list is going to be Michael Carter for the Cardinals. Are we graduating Tyler L.G. out of this while we're at it for the Falcons.

It's the same in. Legacy handcuffs. Yeah. Yeah. We've been talking about these guys for like a month and a half. Michael Carter for the Cardinals, Bam Knight injured his ankle. It does not look good for him to come back next week. Carter came in and had 14 carries and another four targets.

And then they get the Falcons next. The Cardinals are great in one sense that they're fun for fantasy. They like, you know, Jacoby Brissette, they do a lot of. plays, they pass the ball a lot. Generally speaking, they're kind of scoring a lot of points. They're not winning any games, which is whatever, but, you know, they're good for fantasy. So I'm going to go with Michael Carter for the Cardinals starting this week. It's grim.

It's slim pickings down here at the bottom of the barrel. But, yeah, yeah, it's him or Bill Merritt, for me, honestly, on Washington. But, yeah, I think I go with Michael Carter. I think Michael Carter, for a couple reasons. I have him first over Chikorikorikovsky Merritt. I just, I'm kind of done with Washington. Jaden Daniels got shut down for the season, which is probably the right decision

and will not get the inkwood fired or chased by mobs with pitchforks if Jad and Daniels went back out there. But I mean, Jeremy, so after us talking of Chris Rodriguez, and I talked of Chris Rodriguez, Chris Rodriguez is out, he misses last week at the groin injury. And then Jeremy McNichols plays the first two drives and then

Chikori Kroski Merritt plays and gets some run with touchdown. I'm like, I don't, I just want to leave Washington. I want to let Washington go. Yeah, yeah. I just want to let him go. They're playing the Eagles next week. And I'm like, you turn on the games

at this point of the year. And it's like, you can have a guy in that wintry mix of snow and wind. And the Cardinals, man, are like playing on a different planet. So the fact that all this is, I think Michael Carter is just getting 12 carries on a team that's going to be trying to score. I'm going to go with Michael Carter.

Yeah, I think that's right. What that said, that means we are officially in the word, We're heading into week two of playoff waivers. This is nut crunching time. And that means it's time for the Michael Carter. Voice crack. Oh, yeah.

Showdown time. They've got two voice cracks. So now we just need D.K.'s voice to crack. Exactly. We'll complete the try. See what I can do. All right. This trivia question here is from Ross.

Hold on. Oh, well, Arbone. Craig, what's the score for trivia? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, right. I know I'm not winning. You're damn right. You're not.

Trivia is Hyvitz and I are tied with 16 DKs at 9. Wow. It's still some time. You're all right. DK's like the Bengals in the FC Norris.

That really took a time. Not mathematically. Dude, at one point, I think I was winning. I just, like, haven't won in like two months now. Yeah. Oh, well. Yeah, that's kind of what I said.

It's like the Kyler Murray of trivia. Cardinals aren't doing so hot with Jacoby percent either. Okay, sure. This is Ross. Arbon. Ross. We were on break. Is break?

They were. Great reference, Greg. Breakfast was a cup of Irish breakfast tea with a splash of milk and an everything bagel with cream cheese. Sounds lovely. A lot of bagels. Dude, people... A lot of bagels in our demo. That is my number one takeaway is way more people eat bagels.

People love bagels, man. So, Ross's question is, since Gordon Lightfoot was so involved in Craig's Spotify wrapped... The number one song. Sundown. It got Ross thinking about the wreck of the Edmund and Fitzger. Sure, as one is want to do. Ross writes, Edmund Fitzgerald, easily a top five song about the sinking of an iron ore freighter in the Great Lakes. So, Ross's question is, how long was the SS Edmund Fitzgerald?

Christ. In feet. Okay. I've written my answer down ahead of time. Yeah, I bet you have. All right. I don't know. How big was this ship?

I don't know. How big's the boat? Are we going to do the count? three, two, one. $300 feet. You said what, Craig? 300. That's exactly what I said.

You said $300. On the dot. I got to start doing the off. You can go higher or lower. I'll go lower. Okay. DK, what did you say? $450.

Thank God, Craig said higher. Yeah, it's way, it's a 729. Yeah, it's a big ship. It's a big boat. Big ass boat. It sounds like a bonita fish. It's the idea. It's Gerald big?

All right, DK, good for you. Look at double digits. I'm back, baby. You got a stew going. So I'll take Michael Carter then. Dude, that's actually crushing. I'm the only one who gets somebody usable this week. It's actually a catastrophe.

I guess I would say, dude, so there's Jacori Crosky Barrett for Washington or like Jaliel McLaughlin for the Broncos, because I guess RJ Harvey has a rib issue, but is he even going to miss the game? Uncertain. I don't love any of this. Man. Who would you guys take here?

I'm actually curious. for the helping of people. I would take Bill Maher. I think so too. You're not getting in on the Texans guys, Joward Jordan, Malik Davis for the Cowboys. In case Taranté Williams doesn't play.

It's not great. I think Woody Marks is going to play. Yeah, so there's Malik Davis just... But he's been hurt like every game. It's been kind of crazy. He does. I guess they'll go Jula McLaughlin if it seems like RJ Harvey's going to miss time

with a rib injury and maybe they would because they're on an 11-game winning streak and going to think about the playoffs. but man, it is, if these people, if those three people we talked about Blake Coram and Tyler L.Gere and Michael Carter are all out, dude, I, you could convince me a Mario Demercato. The other running back of the Cardinals is a better option than Jaliel McLaughlin or Jacorri Crosky Merritt.

I don't want any of these Saints running backs. I don't care that Devoniel pulled a hamstring. So the Saints are down the fourth and fifth string running back splitting time. You don't want Audrey Kestimay in your lineup during the fantasy playoffs? I know. I'm like, I can't do that to myself. I can't plug it a Texans running back that no one's heard of

so I guess I'll go with Bill Merritt. Yeah, which means I don't know. I guess I'll go with Jaliel McLaughlin. I guess I would say. If Harvey's a little beat up, be fumbled as well. I don't know. The answer is if you need to play a running back,

you're screwed. And I think we would each take seven or eight, maybe 10 receivers over the running backs we just talked about if you can't get Michael Carter. Is that fair? Yeah. So let's go to receiver. DK who is your number one receiver you would add?

I think this is a way larger problem and way more realistic. Can I switch mine? Can I take Brian Robinson? Yeah, sure. That's probably smart. Sure. I'd rather do him.

He's 33% rostered. He gets like eight, nine carries a game. That's probably better than anything you'll get from the Evan Hole crew we were just discussing. So if you can get nine Brian Robinson carries against the Colts indoors in week 16, maybe, you know, you get lost to him. McCaffrey, he hurts his ankle. McCaffrey had a back injury.

this last thing. Yeah, I would do Brian Bracken back on her. Nobody has him. I would get him. Having said that, I want to go to receivers because I think this is the real

problem people have this week, which is, I mean, just to go down the line, I mean, Devante Adams pulls his hamstring. Christian Watson has an injury. We don't know what the deal is exactly, but it sounds like he probably

won't be playing this week for the Packers. So I think there's a lot of players, frankly, that are good, that like playoff teams left actually do need to replace. So with that said, who's the number one of receiver you would add off waivers?

I think I'm going with Jaden Reed from the past. who he's looked pretty good. They're working up ways to get him the ball. They're manufacturing touches for him. And I just think he's a good player. Hyvitz, you are a big fan of him as well. I think he's just a playmaker.

And if Christian Watson, I don't think, is probably going to play this week. So he's going to get more opportunities. The only like question mark with Reed is he doesn't play in two receiver sets. So he's just not on the field quite as much as, you know, Romeo Dubs and or Matthew Golden and Dantavian Wicks. So again, this is the problem we have with the Packers all year long. You don't really know exactly who's going to be featured in this offense. But I think the guy I trust the most out of that trio right now is probably Jaden Reed.

I 100% agree with Jadne Reed. He's the guy. Christian Watson's going to miss this game. I'm taking Jaden Reed. I'm not overthinking usage or anything. Jane Reed gets scheme the ball. And I've been playing the Bears. And I would, again, with the season on the line, I want Jaden Reed.

I want Iguidala. Yeah, I agree. It's Jane Reed. They're playing the Bears, by the way. Which is going to be brutal. It's going to be like, I mean, Chicago last week just had to have been close to the coolest game in the history of Chicago football. Yeah.

But even that a lot of what Jane Reed does, like when the Packers get to the go line, like Jennery gets a lot of like sweeps and handoffs and screens. Like that doesn't even scare me because he gets downfield shots. But they give him the ball in the other. He gets carries. He gets two or three carries a game sometimes. So that doesn't even scare me. It's kind of what I like about Jen Reed.

It's the get-in-the-ball a lot of ways. Okay. All right. Yeah. That settles it then. It is the J-Dadean-Reed. Showdown time. Are you guys sure you don't want David Sills from the Falcons?

The fifth? Yeah, the fifth, because this question is about David Sills, the fifth. It's about David Sills? Well, there's a chance Drake London is back this week. Well, so this question is from Matt. Who? Matthew. Matt wrote the question.

And we hadn't talked about, David Sills. But so Matt writes in that long before Lane Kiffin made history by offering a scholarship to seventh grade David Sills the fifth in 2010, which we haven't talked about. But David Sills the fifth was a quarterback that was offered a scholarship by Lane Kiffity USA, which is hilarious. So anyway, a French guy named Lambert Zells moved to America and sired his son named David, who later changed his last name from Zells to Sills and began a family tradition

of passing on his name to one of his sons, which is a French guy. led to the aforementioned seventh grade football phenom David Sills the 5th current Falcons wide receiver What year was the original David Sills born? Christ As in David Sills the first He's David Sills the 5th

When was David Sills the first born? I like how we use the word sired He sired a son Very very archaic sound sounding expression Oh God let's do it

three two one nineteen fifty I'm probably way too far back I said 1850 1908 you said 1850 DK what did I say

I don't remember probably like several generations too early here I put 1830 and I was like I kind of wish it said something like 1870 depends on how old these guys are when they start siring their children so the answer is I guess they could be 1736

what Only five generations. In Sussex County, Virginia. I have tried very hard, so since I put this down, I've tried to find this. It looks correct. Maybe they skipped a David or so. I'm a little,

I kind of think that sounds totally wrong, right? That feels impossible. In my head, I was like 30 minutes for every, 30 years for every generation. And I was like. But then I remember that one of those presidents has a living grandson or something. Like Zach Tyler.

Yes, Zach Tyler, who's the president. I mean, he was. He has a living son. He had a son when he was like 75 or something. That's the thing. Zach Tyler, this is why I think it actually might be real. Zach Tyler, who was born in 1784, had a grandson that just died. That's so wild.

Because they both had kids when they were like 80. Yeah. They were siring children well into their 80s, Craig. Wow. So the Sills family was just knocking women up well into their 70s and 80s, perhaps. I think. Based on my limited fact-checking ability. Dude, that's fucking crazy.

David Zell's. So basically 300 years for five generations, that's 60. That's basically 60 years each generation. You know what? I'll reach out for the record of the trivia, for the sanctity of the trivia, I will reach out and I'll see if I. But isn't? Yeah, I don't know. That's weird.

Okay. All right. So who gets the, Hyvitz, did you win that? Yeah. Unfortunately, I feel dirty. I'll correct the record on trivia. I'll see if we can get the real answer. answer here. I tried for 20 minutes and like that seems like it's the right family tree,

but it also just feels impossible. It doesn't matter that much. You can take it. All right. Well, I'll take Jaden Reed. I do love Jaden Reed. But there's good options. Sadeke, who would you take? Oh, man. All right. So after Jaden Reed, there's a couple of options. If you really want to get spicy and live dangerously, A.D. Mitchell for the Jets has actually been getting a pretty strong target rate the last three weeks. He is just the least reliable guy, I can imagine, though. So I'm probably going to go with Jets. Jaylen Koker for the Panthers. Also not super reliable in that passing game.

But he's a good player. He's had 10 targets total in the last two weeks. They play the Bucks this week. Craig said, I think yesterday that we always want to go to those NFC South games. So, F it. I'll go with Jalen Koker.

Coke heads. That would have been my pick. I would have taken him second, too. Yeah. Are we considering Luther Burden to be eligible or no? I think so. We've been mentioning him for like eight weeks. He's hurt.

I got to tell you, I don't love Luther Bird with an ankle injury. We don't know a ton about it right now. It's Monday night, but I don't love Luther's risky. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, there's part of me that's like, I guess Cooper Cup is playing the Rams. Jaden Higgins on Houston is playing the Raiders. He only had one target last week in the blowout. There's almost something about the Raiders are so bad that it's almost like the team is

only going to get like two useful quarters. Like AJ Brown last week, I was like, they're probably only going to get like two and a half quarters where they need AJ Brown. And he only had two catches. Luckily, one was a touchdown. You need a back and fourth game. Yes.

Yeah. So it's almost like sometimes a team can be so bad that you don't even want them. Honestly, Matthew Golden has crossed my mind now that Christian Watson was out. Golden played a lot more when Watson went down, made a big catch. You know, we talk about the rookie late wide receivers, you know, catching on late in the season. If Watson's out, obviously Tucker Kraft is out. like Jaden Reed is playing in three downs,

or three wide receiver sets. Like maybe it is golden in Romeo Dobbs. Mm-hmm. The weather stuff, though. I would take if I were you. Cooper Cup? I would take Cooper Cup for the Seahawks.

And this is not supported by math. Like, if you look at underlying whatever, blah, blah, blah, it's not going to necessarily suggest Cooper Cup. But I would take Cooper Cup for very simple reasons. The Seahawks are playing the Rams this week. And the last time the Seahawks played the Rams, they did try to,

frankly force the ball to Cooper Cup. Cooper Cup had seven targets when they played the Rams. He only had 23 yards. Sorry, losing my voice. Like the fantasy gods are trying to prevent me from telling people this. So maybe you shouldn't take this advice.

But the way I looked at it was, it's kind of simple. They did try to force the ball to Cooper Cup because he played the Rams. And the teams do want to give guys their shot at revenge. And then Sam Donald threw four interceptions in that game.

But I kind of do think if the Seahawks actually had gotten to the goddamn goal line in any of those drives instead of Donald forcing interceptions. I do think Cooper Cup was going to get the ball around the goal line. You don't know if he's going to catch the touchdown or not. Sometimes Justin Jefferson on Monday of football gets the ball in his hands and he drops it. But if I'm looking like season on the line,

I would rather have Cooper Cup in a revenge game where they actually kind of did want to get him the ball. It's a little scary because Sam Donald's been so bad against the other two Rams games this year. Like Sam Donald is like nine combined points in two between the playoffs and that game. But if I'm talking about him or like a Luther Bird and crazy, special athlete with an ankle injury or like Jaden Higgins on Houston, my beloved David Sills at Atlanta, Dary Slate. I'm like, I'm going to put Cooper Cup in my lineup before I put those other guys in my lineup.

But also I get if you don't want to do that. Yeah, it's like cup. I hear you. I think that was a, that was an impassioned cup pitch. I appreciated it. I thought it was very persuasive. I, I think I would, I think I would, I'm going to go with Jaden Higgins, even though he had a slow week.

Like before that, he's basically a guarantee for. like 40 to 60 yards every game. He's a red zone target. They're playing the Raiders. He is like their two tight end set guy. Like he's always on the field. And it's like they're going to be beating the Raiders. I think he'll be on the field a lot.

I think I would feel a little bit better with Higgins. How do we feel about Luther Burden if he practices limited but then plays and a dune stays out? Because I'm not going to lie. I don't love Luther Burden. If he's a full practice all week, I'd play. I would pick him. But if he's limited, like I, it's a little tough because the plays.

that Luther Burden will succeed on. They need to install him. They need to practice the plays with him, probably on Thursday. Like he needs to be at the Thursday practice practicing the plays if he's going to get the ball around the goal line. I don't love the idea of,

so I would keep an eye on his actual participation in practice. The other nice thing about Jaden Higgins is he's also really tall like Nico Collins, so maybe sometimes Stroud will confuse him for Nico Collins. That's good. That's smart. Okay, tight ends.

D.K. I think we can all agree of Kyle Pippins. Pitts is available if some idiot has dropped Kyle Pitts. I can't imagine who would ever do that out of rage. Kyle Pitts is the number one guy if he's available. Breton Strange for the Jaguars, if he's available, we would take him over everyone else, right? Is that fair, D.K.?

Yeah, he's like over 60% right. He's probably ineligible, but yeah. So assuming Kyle Pitts and Brett and Strange are not available to decay, who's your number one tight end you would add on waivers. I think I'm going to go with Colby Parkinson for the Rams. We haven't even mentioned this guy basically all year. I think I maybe mentioned him one time. How many times can he score a touchdown a week until he's like this is like.

Yeah. Are we going to see this actually again? Because he's scored six touchdowns in the last six games. And he has for what it's worth, seven, five, five, four, two, and five targets over his last six games. So like he's getting a good amount of targets. But he's really surviving basically on scoring touchdowns, which obviously makes you a little bit nervous.

But at the end of the day, I mean, he's the tight end four in the last six weeks. And you want a piece of the Rams. offense. They are playing the Seahawks this week. So that's a little bit scary. But if Devante Adams doesn't play, I think that's a boost for Colby Parkinson in maybe. The Seahawks have actually allowed the third most, I think fantasy points too tight ends the season. That's why I started Tyler Warren's bum ass. And yeah. Stafford. So yeah, go, go, go over Parkinson's younger than Rivers. I, Parkinson's is kind of a revenge game for Parkinson as well. He was on the Seahawks last year or the year before. So, yeah. That's,

That's how you know that's the right answer. It's like you think it's a Cooper Cup revenge. It's actually the Kobe Parkinson revenge game. Meanwhile, Terrence Ferguson or the rookie titan just going to end up scoring as soon as we recommend it. Last year, a real thing happened. Nick Westbrookickekekeen had seven consecutive weeks. Two years ago, sorry. Yeah, he had seven consecutive weeks with a touchdown last year with Ekeena.

And we did not recommend him for a touchdown once. And then we were like, we can't fall for this. The eighth week in a row, we were like, fuck it. You should play him. Then he didn't score. And we were like, we knew it. And then the next week, he went back to scoring. That's how I feel about Colby Parkinson.

Literally, whether we recommend him or not, we'll decide what he does. I can't tell what I want to do. I don't know who I would want. I'm taking Darren Waller from the Dolphins. I have the right to reserve to go back in time to the beginning of the show if something happens. But I want Darren Waller because they're playing the Bengals. And I have a stat for you. I've said before on this show that the Bengals have allowed the most targets, yards,

catches, and touchdowns. And obviously fantasy points to other teams. I haven't explained how big the gap is. The gap between how many fantasy points the Bengals have allowed to tight ends and the number two team has allowed to tight ends is larger than the gap between the Bengals at number two and the 29th team in allowing points to tight ends. Like the gap is basically larger than the almost the entire spectrum

of the other 31 teams in the NFL. So the extent to which the Bengals are allowing tight ends, I know Darren Wall doesn't play that much. I know it's limited. I know the Steelers are also not awesome against tight ends. I'm just saying I would play Darren Waller against the Bengals,

even if he's playing like 45% at the fucking plays. All right. And I think I would take Colston Loveland. I like that. Also so fair if Romadunzee is out to take Colson Lovelin. If I have Romadunes,

they might shut Roma Dunzee down until the playoffs. And if Burden's got the ankle, Loveland's been pretty solid for like the last month plus. I think I would probably just do him. I trust him the most. Five plus targets in four straight games.

I saw a report just now that Roma Dunesay is week to week, which usually means a couple weeks at least. I mean, there's no world we're trusting Romedunesay. You know what I mean? Like he literally was aggravated. And then he hurt his foot. What was his foot? In warmups or whatever. It's like, come on.

Also, it's a foot injury. As a wise man, Danny Kelly has said, receivers of foot injuries, I'm out. I have said that. Hundreds of times. Sounds like the bears are saying that too. All right. So then this is the rare, none of us think the same player showed in time.

Can we gut check each other right now? Seasons on the line, all three of these guys are available, or you have one and you got to cut them, which is somehow a different thing mentally in your head. Would you cut your gut, would you, D.K., would you cut Colston Loveland to add Kobe Parkinson? Because if we're being honest, that feels different than just at, at picking one of them.

I think I actually want to change my answer to Colston Loveland. I think he's ascending and he's a big part of their offense. Yeah, I mean, Devante being out matters for the Rams a little bit to me. I mean, like, you have to factor that in. But I think those are both solid options. I think Loveland is less dependent on scoring a touchdown. 100%. If I take Darren or Parkinson is purely a touchdown thing, like they're only going to have

five catches, like absolute max. I like honestly like Darren Waller's going to have three and the question is what are the odds two of them are for touchdowns I agree with that okay so we'll do Loveland but if high fits

wins you can go go with your heart which you guys yeah okay it is the Colston Loveland showdown time I need a dub here bad bad this is from Ben Ben

feed me Ben we got a an unreasonably incredible legendary submission for a fart or shart intro we do on Sundays. So in honor of that, Ben writes, how often does the average healthy man fart per day? How many times? Yes. According to Meridian Health.

Man. This is a good question. Is this an American man? This is an unhealthy country. That is an important question, isn't it? Let me double check what Meridian Health here said. Every day, does this include at night when you're sleeping? Good question.

Is it a 24-hour span or waking hours? My question, I wrote down two different numbers before I then could say. This is a glimpse into hyphences. He had a lot of time to think about this. Of course you do. This is the problem. It's like the transparency sometimes. It's like people use it against.

No, the problem is is that Carlos should just be doing the question. Well, I wanted an answer here. Correct. According to peer-reviewed research from the National Library of Medicine, I want to know if it was based on a survey, a self-reported survey. Like, we asked men, and here's what they said, or if doctors, scientists, like, studied it in a setting. Do you think men would give an inflated number or under a number? You think?

They're like, I'm not disgusting. Men? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe not. I feel like men might be like, I fart all the time. But women, if you pulled them, they'd be like zero. Women don't fart, Craig.

No, women don't. Women don't do many things. It's crazy that women don't fart, among other things. Fascinating creatures. Yeah. Anyway, I went with my, I went with the higher number because I looked into it and it was like a study. Like they observed, which was important to me. Because I was confident to self-reporting would be low.

Okay. Okay. So we still haven't guessed. Well, I'm just letting you know that it was like a study. Okay. All right. All right. Three, two, one.

Forty. 120. Oh, God. 120. I said 20. What's the answer? This is a glimpse into all of us. It's just 13. 13.

I know. I kind of don't believe that. For the record, I don't fart 40 times a day. I'm thinking of unhealthy Americans. I feel like in your sleep. It makes the question of what's a fart. Sure. Also, okay, Hifitz definitely led us astray there by being like, I guess the higher number, all this stuff. I was like, oh, this is going to be some ridiculous.

That was your attempt to get us to guess higher? My first thought was 40. And then I took the higher number. I'm like, Jesus, this could be some insane number? I just felt if it was like, hey, how many times do you think you for it a day? And like a doctor's asking you this. You'd be like, uh, eight? Like, you know what I mean?

Like, no one's saying double digits if they had asked. I probably would have guessed like 10. That would have been really close. Myself. Yeah. Well, then you're, you're an average man. That's 13. But I thought, I don't know.

I said 80. I thought it was going to be like, 40 because you were like, oh, and they did studies on this. And I get you just guessed the higher number. I thought it was like, you people fart 40 times in their sleep. That's what I thought. And I was like, all right, well, you got, you know, double that or something. I will just say, it's fine. It doesn't matter.

But you definitely let us, you were leading the witness. I'll never give you context ever again, haven't that? Sorry. Yeah. I sought context before I gave my final guess that I wanted to share said context with you. And I, I'll never do that again. Also, you probably shouldn't be seeking context because we don't get that. What the fuck are you talking about?

I said, that's the conversation. I said, I wanted to know, did you just ask dudes and they guessed or did you observe them? And they observed them. And then I was like, all right, well, then I would go with that number. Okay. So you wrote down a number and then you searched for context and then you wrote that number? I wrote down. Guesses based on if this is just guys saying, I was like single digits.

No one's going to admit to the strangers that they fart more than 10 times a day. But I bet it's like, I bet they'd cut the real number in half. So I basically put it was like 10 and 20. I think I was kind of thinking about like what is considered a fart or something? You know, like micro farts, a little thing. Yeah. That's that, you do get into that. The amount of, because like, the amount of gas actually exiting your body every day for 24 hours, you know?

Or like, yeah. Have you ever seen those videos of, like, what a fart looks like, like, how large the cloud is, actually? And, like, how far it permeates. Like, there was, like, there's some, like, animated video of, like, a guy on an airplane, farting. And, like, you can see where the cloud spreads on an airplane, dude. It is insane. Same with, like, a sneeze.

These things really travel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Humans are disgusting, fucking vile creatures. Anyway, yeah. So there's kind of 1-20s. Come on, don't put that on me. So I guess I win. I thought it was going to be like,

yeah, like 80 to 100. And I was like, all right, I'm going to take the high end here. I respect it, Craig. I know. Heifitz loves to shame people for that. I don't know why you guys feel shame. These are impossible answers.

No, no. Usually, like, when somebody's way off, Under your breath before we move on, you go, yeah, but 400, I mean, Jesus Christ. Oh, that's true. I do that. Yeah, that's true. That's a lot. Yeah, I know.

We don't do that when you get stuff way wrong. You guys don't make fun of me when I get something wrong. Well, there's a difference in mispronouncing the name Sunny and Cher and making a guess about something that I have no fucking idea. All right, Mr. Farts one 20 times at that. He fine. All right. It's all the compocha. Fart guy over here.

Fart guy over here. Fart or shart. I mean, come on. I did we factor in sharts? Do sharts, were those factored into the number? You could file a claim on that. I mean, what, people shart, what, 100 times a day? So that maybe the 120 is right.

Well, they're lying in the story is probably 40, 40 a week. Hold on. I have a question. Speaking of Fartor Shart, did we find out who made that song and if it was AI from yesterday's show? No, we can talk about that on Power Hour. Or Friday. Well, Sunday. I'll look into it.

I'll go back and forth here. Okay. So I guess, so I should take Waller or Loveland. Lovelland's probably the smarter answer. Take Waller. I'm taking Waller. I've been talking about for weeks. I'm taking Derek Waller.

Also, it's the, this is maybe stupid and I'm overthinking it. But man, that game is in Miami. And the other game is in Chicago. And I don't know what the weather will be in six days in Chicago, but I just kind of want to turn on my TV and fucking see whatever the hell is going on with the wind or the rain or the snow in Chicago. I kind of want to just need Darren Waller to throw a touchdown. And again, maybe this is all moot and we'll cut it. Forecast is actually pretty balmy for Chicago on Sunday.

30 degrees. Or are they playing on Saturday? They're playing on Saturday. It's 41 degrees in Chicago on Saturday. Oh, wind is 20 miles an hour. Give me my head. Oh, Christ.

I want me. Speaking of which, the game tonight, which we're going to talk about at the top of the show, The Dolvens have lost 13 straight games in sub 40 degree temperatures. We'll see. Yeah. Okay, I'm taking Colston Leveland anyway. That's a great.

Who do you want? All that, Craig. You get Colby Parkinson or you want someone else? I'll take Colby. That's wonderful. All right. I'm delighted that he felt to me, despite my stupid answer.

It wasn't stupid, Craig. There's no stupid answers. No, it's okay. It's all right. Shame is good. This country needs a little more shame. Let's be honest. Yeah.

All right. Quarterback, if you need a quarterback, obviously if Trevor Lawrence is available, you don't need me to tell you not, Trevor Lawrence. I will say Jacoby Brissette, if he's available,

probably not, but if he is Atlanta, the Cardinals are playing Atlanta, that's another game. It's like, man, you look at all these other snow cold games, and you're like, man,

Percette if he's there. Hate to say it, but JJ McCarthy versus the Giants, the Giants D is fucking brutal, man, and I hate to say it, but McCarthy is more decisive, and he's going to run. Nine.

Nine, he's probably going to, God, I got to tell you, I, sometimes you just look at the standings and I'm like, man, these teams suck. And then the Giants are lower than them. And I'm like, oh my God. Like that's, your time is coming, Hyfitz. So embarrassing. The Washington is twice as many wins as we do.

But would you guys take J.G. McCarthy versus the Giants if you had to win this week or Marcus Mariotta and Washington versus the Eagles. I kind of thought McCarthy versus the Giants actually. I'm taking McCarthy. I think so too. Yeah. I think so too. I hate to say it, but Marioata.

Marioata. But yeah, I think those are the four. Lawrence who's available. Brissette McCarthy Marioata. I would hope one of those guys is available. Defenses, a lot of strange bedfellows this week. But if you need the night,

I think the Niners versus Phil Rivers. Maybe this is a bad pick. I wanted to run it by you because Rivers is not going to take sacks other than when he just trips and falls because he's getting rid of the ball so fast. But part of me thinks there's tape on them now. They're going to, like, I don't think they're going to be able to adjust to run. There's tape on them. There's tape on them.

You know, they're like, oh, no, no, we thought he'd be able to throw 20. of yards. It's like 16, you know. Honestly, I think the main thing is the passes go slower than you think, and I think they're going to try to break everything. I don't know. He was whipping that thing. Seattle sacked him once, no, the one pick at the end. The Seattle only had four fantasy points. That's why I wanted to ask, should this be the number one defense, or is it not even streamable? I don't know if it should be. Because I feel like it's going to be a bunch of three and outs. Yeah. I kind of agree. Run the ball and throw screens.

Yeah. I feel like the Vikings defense versus Jackson Dart, we actually might end up raking higher. Yeah, there's more more volatility. Yeah, like the odds that they confuse the shit at a dart and get multiple. I mean, I can already see Andrew Vinkin picking off Jackson Dart for a pick six on a screen to Wando Robinson right now. The Chiefs defense versus Cam Ward, I have had written down for this episode for weeks. And now my home story is ACL and it's kind of weird because they're eliminated for the playoffs. But it is the chiefs defense versus Cam Ward.

I believe I believe Cam Ward still has taken the most sacks of any quarterback this season. is it, I mean, I don't think it matters that much they got eliminated from the playoffs, right? They're going to take their anger out on the Titans. Yeah, I don't know. There's something about like the dejected team. I know, it feels weird. Also, if you have that and you're watching the Chiefs,

you're going to watch this first game without Mahomes in like years. The other ones, though, like the Saints defense, they're playing the Jets and Brady Cook at quarterback, which is one of them, like, again, I don't know if I want to, I'd rather go down with the Chief's defense than the Saints defense. Also, I kind of was wondering about the Titans defense versus Gardner, Minchu, and the chiefs. I don't know if I have the Hutz put to do that. So I guess the other one is honestly, I also want to ask you about the Bills defense versus the Browns, which is a little scary because

the Browns can run the ball and the bills can't stop the run. But I kind of, I don't know, man, Shador Sanders and the Browns versus the Bills. Yeah. In Cleveland. I feel like I'm still doing the Chiefs versus the Titans. And then the Vikings versus the Giants, and then Niners versus the Colts. And then I would do the Bills versus. the Browns, probably in that order. Am I nuts that I think I would start the Saints playing Brady Cook? Brady Cook has five interceptions

and his first two starts. Kind of like, he's on the road. I feel like I would gladly, if I go down because Brady Cook fucking lights up the Saints, I don't know. The right process. Yeah. There's options. The Saints just held Bryce Young and the Panthers

to 17. I don't know. That's totally cool too. Yeah, you put them right up there. Okay. Those waivers. I want to cut in here. I texted my friend Chris. My best man in my wedding.

Is he asking you about farts? Yeah. Because he's a gassy guy. And I thought about him during this question. I was like, Chris farts all the time. And I did say caveat. I said, on a bad day, how many times would you say you fart in 24 hours, including sleep? It's like you just, you went out last night.

You drank about 18 beers. You said a thousand? You had four hot dogs. Yeah. He said on a bad day, question mark, question mark. And he said, and I've had those days, believe me. He said, I have no idea how much I farted my sleep, but I'm going to say 75 plus and that might be conservative. The more I think about it, the more I think Craig actually got.

I mean, 120 is too high, but it's probably like 50 to 70 or something. People fart a lot, man. 50 to 70 Farts in 24 hours That's doable The rookie numbers Also like do you fart more in your sleep than when you're awake I would imagine yes

I don't know Did I read the health It said average healthy man Did I write? Did I read that part? 70 farts over 24 hours is only three an hour Depends on what you eat Says yes you likely fart more in your sleep

because your anal sphincter muscles relax this is a new low for us no one's dude we talked last year we read the the emails from anonymous people eat their boogers to try to understand that was worse that actually that was that was crazy we had like dozens of emails from people

that was actually like vulnerable people actually were like I've never told anyone this and we like redacted everyone's names but then other people were like hey I like a show but my wife like threw up in the car I was like actually nauseous during that. That's probably the most vulnerable people have ever been, right? I mean, we talked about the stand in white people. No, this is another.

Who are also aliens? Yeah, yeah. The burger eating is another level. Yeah, booger eating is adults, yeah. Is there any other gross thing we could ask people if they do? Yes. I mean, yeah, but like, they're all make a list. It's a, you know, it's a third rail we should probably stay away from.

Craig asked that one, what are the kids fucking on? Yeah. And by kids, we mean grown people. Yeah, consenting adults or younger. But legal age. Is that like what drugs are they fucking on? No, we were literally talking about. We said places.

Where do kids go to like? Where are they fucking? I thought there was something about like having sex on on like a bed covered with something. Well, no, it was talking about, you know, like the whole thing of the third place. You know, it's like you want to go somewhere. It's not work or home. And like I feel like in the 60s or 70s or 80s you watch movies and there's like places people go.

We're like, where the fuck to be going movie theater? Yeah, it's like, where do you go to hook up now? It's like, on the bench seats. There's no public places. Where the fuck do you go?

To park like a crazy person? That's a good question. That I want to know. Well, that's what his question was. Yeah. We got an abandoned carnival and get fucking arrested. Like, what the fuck are you going to do? Abandoned carnival?

That sounds terrifying. That was one of the emails we got. A big guy was like in 70s. You get fucking stabbed at one of those. Well, that was one of the answers. Not in a good way. It sounds like a stranger things plot. Seriously.

It does. Those people are going to get murdered. Okay. You're going to get tetanus. Emails. I have one email I wanted to read to you guys. That was a trivia question that I decided with love to this person. If I read you guys this,

I was going to get like a rev-like you guys were to kill me because it's one of them like science ones that's impossible to answer. Great. And I don't, I'll let you guys do the thing if you want. But I mostly read the answer and I was so blown away by the actual answer that I was like, we should just talk about this. Okay.

So I assume you don't. want to do the whole guessing thing. Actually, no, I kind of want to make it. Might as well. Might as well. So anyway, it's, shout out to Kola. Or no, sorry, it's Kahlia. With a K? With a, yes.

And they included the K-Bone. Callia. So breakfast, sausage, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel. Bagel, man. Eggs over medium. That's the right, that's my preferred bacon and cheese order. It's over medium. Little runy, little run.

Yeah, little run. Add hot sauce, large coffee to Coke, Long Island Bay. is what Collier said. Coffee and a Coke? All right. That's a good, that is a lot of cats. Getting started. Yeah.

So there's a long explanation here, but I guess it was obviously the large Hadron Collider in I forget, Sweden, Switzerland, forget where, where they shoot the particles at each other and try to recreate the Big Bang or whatever and maybe we'll create a small black hole.

Anyway, apparently there's a gold version of one that we've been doing in Long Island for like 25 years, where it's like three and a half kilometers long or something, they've been shooting gold particles at each other for like 25 years. They accomplished the highest ever temperature recorded in a lab setting in 2004. And they couldn't calculate the fucking number until 2010.

It took them six years to calculate the goddamn number of how hot this fucking collision was. Wow. Which was like you caught my attention. The answer was four trillion degrees. I kind of wanted to talk to you guys about that, about four trillion degrees being a And even on a, like, that just feels with love to these people who put six years into this. They're wrong, right? Well, no one can check your math on that.

No. I'm not going to say. What am I going to tell you that you're not correct? We'll plug that into chat. GPT. We'll have that solved in a couple seconds. Yeah. I don't know.

I just kind of wanted to talk to you guys about the idea that even for like a millisecond, there was something that was four trillion degrees. I just don't have any concept of like what that means, you know? You can't. How hot is the sun? I already someone said 27 million 27 million

and this is 4 trillion that's what they said and they did that on earth took six years crazy they got it that wrong after six years um 250,000 times hotter

than the center of the sun whenever I hear about these kind of things I always think did you guys ever watch the show Chernobyl? Yeah. Really great

really great series obviously which is about the Chernobyl nuclear meltdown in Soviet Union. Everyone makes that face. That face Craig just made. You should watch Chernobyl. And then they're like,

oh, it's fucking good. haunted by it. It's really, really, really well done. The pilot is fucking fantastic. But there, I can't get, there's an image burned into my brain of one of the guys who is like basically scabbed over completely. And it is like the grossest thing I've ever seen.

I just never found the time where, like, I know it's incredible and it's one of the best things ever made. I just never found the time where I'm like, you know what I'm going to sit down and watch with my time? Sure, no. I just was like, I never like, you know what? I want to think about this right now. I just never got there.

I think that's fair. I think everybody can choose what they want to consume. I will say it's like legitimately one of my favorite movies or shows of all time. Like it's like incredibly well done. I'll watch. I'll watch it. It's like, and also I was reading all these articles about it. It's incredibly, incredibly accurate in terms of what it was like in the Soviet Union at the time.

According to like what I was reading was like Soviet. people that lived in that era, they were like, oh, my God, like, the sets are incredibly accurate. Everything they're talking about is incredibly accurate. The, you know, just the finite details of the show is like a really well-done period piece. But it's also just an insane thing that happened on the Earth. Like, it's literally never happened on Earth before that. And it was like, they were trying to figure out how to fucking fix it. There is still, you can't, you still can't get near it.

There's still radiation coming from it. There's all these crazy animal, like, animal bounce back in the, in the, in the, exclusion zone and all this stuff, it's, it's crazy. But one of the, honestly, a seminal, uh, right of passage for people, Craig and I's age, I don't think Craig played Call-Duty 4, but there was a mission in Call-Duty 4 where you had to, like, wear a gilly suit and go through Chernobyl and avoid all the radioactive things and, like, assassinate some guy in Chernobyl. It was, you know, where I learned like 80% of that story.

Yeah. Anyway, it's a crazy story. So I think about that when I think of the large Hadron Collider and hopefully these people don't fuck it up. I think I I yeah it's funny it's kind of it's like it's like the Oppenheimer thing it's like a small chance non zero a non zero chance we ignite the atmosphere and destroy everything it's it's just funny how many things happen because you're afraid to speak up to your boss I mean the whole right yeah you know like the whole the entire season of the next the rehearsal this most

recent season it was about plane crash this is basically like the number two pilot is afraid to speak up to He's deferential. To the captain. Right. Cool. That makes me feel great. Yeah. It's like how everyone hates that we do the fart or shart with the fart noises and Craig's just too afraid to tell us, you know?

Yeah. It's true. It's true. I hope I didn't. I hope Chris isn't upset. I know. I was going to ask, did you give him? Did you tell him you were going to read that on a show?

A heads up that you were on the show? No. I didn't. I hope he's all right. What's his last name again? What's his address? His name is Chris Hyphitz. We're going to get emails from doctors being like,

your friend Chris needs to go to the emergency. We can bleep his name out. He eats a lot of fiber, a lot of protein. Just, you know, just bleep his name out with like a fart noise. I actually think, you know what I realized? We should do that. The fact that there's these studies means that they actually had to come up

with the scientific definition of what is and is not a fart. Right. And we should find that. It's the OG fart or shark. The OG fart or shart. they actually had to like study that measure it. They have Latin names for it. So a fart and a shark.

All right. Anything else you guys want to get out of here? Sphinctor eruptus. I just looked up a Latin, fart in Latin is crepetu. Good to know. Crepitu? Yeah. With C-R-A-P?

C-R-E-P. Is this crap N-P in there? C-R-E-P-I-T-U. Okay. So do with that what you Well, thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you to Latin. Oh, wait. Now wait. That was Gemini. But now there's another thing saying, learn the Latin flattus. Oh, yeah, flatulence.

Yeah. Hmm. The root derivative of flatulence. Right. From the Latin flattus. Quite a flatulant man. Oh, interesting. In classical Latin, flatus refers to the expulsion of wind without sound. while crepetu refers to the expulsion of wind with noise. So they had different words. Wow. So that is literally fart or shart, pretty much.

Well, that is. It's flattis or crepitus. It's fart versus SBD. Right. Does that mean silent but deadly? I know. That one, thanks. That's how they undercounted all the farts.

They just missed 60s silent. They were listening. You think there's too much fart talk on this show or no. About right? We're flirting with it. We probably stepped over the line of today. Flirting? Flying too close to the sun here.

We're farting. Yeah. All right. Thank you, Craig. Thank you to everyone who made it through that, man. Sorry. Thanks to, are we going to say your friend's name? Are we going to bleep it?

We're bleeping. Fart noise it. Thanks to bleep. Redacted, Craig's friend. Fart noise it. Thank you to Carlos. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Ronick.

Thank you, Austin. Thank you, everyone for listening. Yeah, thanks to everyone and made it through all the farts. Thank you, Lord. Lord. Thank you, Jennifer Lopez. Okay.

Jenny on the block. J-Lo. Jenny from the block. Jenny from the block. Excuse me. That's crazy. What's the latest on J-Lo and Affleck? Are they divorced?

They are. I actually just saw an Instagram post of them picking up their kid from some recital. I'm speaking of things. Do they have a kiss? No, I think you're thinking of Jennifer Gardner. Right.

Oh. Well, she was, it was due. I'm going to, there's an Instagram account. that father. I'm not going to, I can't pronounce it. Yes, D.K., they are divorced again. Twice divorced. But they were after his son's recital. But wait, so why was she there? She doesn't have the kid.

Are you saying Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Gardner? Jennifer Lopez was there. Talking to Ben's son. Maybe she's... I don't know. Maybe they are friends with the family. Huh. Maybe they're just... I don't know where that is. I'm confused there. I just... Well, actually, that makes more sense now because it says... Ben's son. But now I realize that's because it's not her son.

Right. I just love all the memes of Ben Affleck. It's like the greatest thing. Smoking the cigarette with the dragon on his dad. Just him like staring at the ocean. So many good ones. I like the ones where it's smoking a cigarette. I like the ones where it's him come out in the morning to pick up the DoorDash, Duncan.

That was someone who works here. Someone's slack avatar was that, which was so good. It's just so relatable. Yeah. There's one video of Jenna. It's also so brutal. It's like, these are people's lives.

Like, the fact that this is always caught on camera is horrible. But there's one, but anyway, there's one video. But it's great. Having said that.

Of J-Lo getting into the car. And they're clearly having an argument. He kind of like shuts the door on it. Just a little too hard and then kind of walks around to get into his side of the car. He slams it just a little too hard. We've all been there, you know. He took the,

I think Craig, you pointed out. He like took his time walking around the car. Yeah. He's like, I would take my time. moment of peace. Anyway, hopefully they're

happier now. Yeah, hopefully. I don't know. High fits? Come on. Give me a good segue. What do we got? Yeah, I'm not going to say.

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