The Ringer NFL Show - TE Rankings, Tiers, and Fears

Episode Date: July 21, 2022

We run through our official tight end rankings, and unveil our tiers for the 2022 season. Within each tier, we discuss who we are most confident in, and who might not be worth the draft capital.  Check out The Ringer’s Fantasy Football Draft Guide! Email us! [e-mail]. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From the host that brought you to Coding Westworld. And Westworld, the recapables. Comes the Ringer Prestige TV podcast on Westworld. I'm Joanna Robinson. I'm Danny Heifitz. And I'm David Shoemaker. Welcome to Westworld Season 4 in the Prestige TV podcast feed, where we're going to break down every episode of Westworld season four.

Every Monday, the day after the show comes out on the prestige TV podcast feed. Wherever we get your podcast, but get them on Spotify. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyper. and I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Coralbeck. And today we are ranking the tight ends for the 2022 season in fantasy football. You can follow our rankings, which will soon be updated at fantasy football. Dot the ringer.com.

Our rankings will be there. We're ranking them. We're updating our rankings next week. And then we're going to be updating them throughout the off season or into the preseason and up to week one in early September. We're going through the tight ends today. We're doing it back. We're going to do tight ends.

And then we're going to work all the way to the running backs receivers and more interesting positions. But we're starting with tight ends because training camp's not here yet. and we're going to figure it out. We're going to break them down into tears because we have the guys rang from like, you know, one to 20th position. But it's more important, I think, if we share, like,

the groups of how we're thinking about guys. We want everyone to understand why we're thinking about people the way we are. So we're going to group them the way we are and also there's one rule for this exercise. We're not allowed to use the word athletic. All the tight ends are athletic, and it let me know if a tight end is not athletic.

I actually refuse wholeheartedly to follow that rule. Also, Zach Ertz is not athletic. Can we just note, wouldn't it save time if we just note when a tight end is not athletic? They're all 6-6 and run a 4-6? I'll do that. I'll do that. Yeah, just note when the guy is not athletic. I'm probably going to say when they're really athletic, too, though.

That's okay. I just get a straight up ignore your rule. Okay. All right. I love when mom and dad fight about this is the best. I've never. I'm never going to do that. All right.

Let's just start, tier one, our top tight ends for 2022. These are the Ferraris. It's Travis Kelsey for the Chiefs, Mark Ganges for the Ravens. And they're Ferraris because they're awesome, but they will cost a shitload. But they're awesome and they'll be worth it. Is that basically fair? We did this for something else recently. Quarterbacks.

Quarterbacks. And someone tweeted at me like in F1, which I don't watch, Ferrari is kind of the laughing stock. No, not anymore. Now they're doing. Well, yeah, they're kind of, they're better, but they're still not winning. Well, then whatever you want to say, Lamborghini, you know, Bentley. Really nice car.

Rolls Royce, maybe? Rolls Royce, sure. Aston Martin. 800 grand each, something like that. But that's what this first tier is. And you could, as you probably could guess, is Travis Kelsey, Mark Andrews,

like the two top guys. Do you think that there's a world in which Travis Kelsey is in his own tier? This is the first thing that came to my mind. I think that's fair because I don't think anyone's going to take Mark Andrews in the first round. But Travis Kelsey, you can take in the first round. My question was going to be,

is Mark Andrews closer to the Travis Kelsey tier? Is he closer to the tier below of Pitts, Kittal, and Wall? Like he's almost his own tier. It's like Kelsey is his own tier because Kelsey's like a first rounder kind of. Mark Andrews is his own tier because he's like a second third. And then I think the next group of like Kyle Pitts, George Kittl, Darren Waller, that's like the top five is clear of those people. But it's like Kelsey's a tier. Andrews is really probably a second tier.

And then the third tier is the rest of the top five. Yeah. I want to talk about Kelsey first, but it is funny that we're saying this because Mark Andrews was the tight end one. last year, which was kind of a rarity. If you look at what Travis Kelsey has done over the last five, six years, tight in two, tied in one, tight end one, tied in one, tied in two, tight end one. And this is in a half PVR. It's pretty good.

He's ridiculously, ridiculously consistent, very good. Obviously, he's in the perfect offense. He is now the number one, unquestioned number one in the offense, which is actually not been the case for the last few years, obviously, with Tyree Kill in Kansas City. So now you could see his efficiency start to drop a little bit. if this offense isn't quite as explosive, it's not quite as good with Tyree Kielgan. But I think ultimately he's going to make up for it with more volume, honestly.

And by the way, I saw this from Rich Rebar, just four end zone targets last year, which was really, really low for him. And that could go up too. And so I just think Kelsey is the clear runaway, number one. Andrews has a little, there's more variables with Andrews to me. Kelsey just looks automatic. Assuming he can stay healthy.

I mean, Tyree Kill's gone. I mean, maybe you can Galaxy brain yourself to say, well, Kelsey is going to get double team more. But in theory, like, Tyree Kill left and Kelsey is so head and shoulders above all the other players in this team. The Chiefs have Juju Smith-Schuster. They lost Valde-Skantling. So they've got Juju, you know, they got Mikkel Hardman. I mean, they still have Josh Gordon. But at the end of the day, sorry, the Packers lost Valde-Skantling, the Chief signed Valde-Skantling.

I keep getting that confused. But part of me is like, isn't this the simple? thing we've ever seen. Like the number one guy, basically every season, lost one of the best receivers. And I don't know. I think the question is, where do you take Travis Kelsey in the first round? Or is he a first rounder for you? Yeah. You know my core tenant that I never follow of, like, just take Travis Kelsey? Has that ever been more true than this year? Yeah. Yeah. You could make the case that Travis Kelsey is more of a shoe in first round pick than he's ever been. Yeah. At 32 years old, 33? How old is he right now? He'll be 33. Yeah. I don't care.

I don't care at all that he's 33 years old. So we've got our updated rankings, we've got him at 11 overall. Yeah, I think that's right. So are you guys comfortable taking him ahead of Stefan Diggs, ahead of Citi Lamb? Yes, yes.

I think there's just, there are more receivers. It's the positional scarcity deal. Like, obviously I think Andrews is really good. There's a couple other guys that could, you know, absolutely go bonkers this year, but having Kelsey gives you just this immediate boost at that position that, like, no one else in your league is going to have.

So, yeah, I think he's definitely worth going in the first round. And not only that, the real reason why Kelsey is unlike any other tight end is that there's always the opportunity cost of what am I giving up here. Oh, if I take Travis Kelsey, I can't get Stefan Diggs. Travis Kelsey is the only wide receiver, excuse me, in the league that puts up elite wide receiver stat lines. Like the guys like the Darren Wallers or the Dalton Schultz's or George Kittle, like a good tight end year for them, a good tight end year for fantasy is not a Stefan Digg standard line. Travis Kelsey's putting up 105 catches, 1,400 yards, and 11 touchdowns. He did that in 2020.

Like, that is CD Lamb this year, maybe at best. So yeah, I'm totally okay with doing it because he is a receiver. Yeah. Yeah, especially in people who he's going to get peppered. Okay, obviously Kelsey's number one. Mark Andrews, so he was number one

as D.K. last year, as D.K. mentioned, is any part of you guys reticent to actually take him? There's always the funny thing where we have to rank everybody somewhere, but then there's like, okay, but where are you actually going to take the guy yourself? Mark Andrews, 26th. I think that's probably accurate, but serious question.

Are you guys trying to take a non-Travs-Kelsea titan in the top 30? Or are you going to glide right by? Because there's a difference. You know what I'm talking about? It's tough. Yeah, I mean, like, there's so many good players around him. I'm just going to name off a few of the guys

that are, like, close to him in ADP for us. Or, sorry, in our rankings. Aaron Jones, Nick Chubb, A.J. Brown, Jvante Williams, T. Higgins, Keehan, Allen, like, Cam Acres, Mike Williams. There's some really high, high, upside guys in that group. and I guess it just comes down to the idea of, you know, do you think that Andrews can redo what he did last year?

It was sort of just a situation where, you know, they decided to throw a whole bunch more because all their running backs were hurt. This is Ravens. All their running backs were hurt. And they had like a much higher pass rate than they have in any year in the last like five years or whatever. Like was that an anomaly? Can we depend on this? Can we depend on Mark Andrews to just go absolutely bonkers again?

I think there's just more question marks around him, honestly. I think he's a really good player, and I think he's going to be the de facto number one in this offense. But there is a lot of room for him to kind of like regress a little bit. Yeah, I mean, this isn't really a Mark Andrews question. It's a Ravens' offense question. If they go back to this, you know, 2019 style of play where they're running the ball all the time. I know Marquis Brown's gone, so that kind of makes you think, you know, is Andrews the even more locked in top option on the team? But to be honest, I kind of see Rashad Bateman getting as much, like, volume as Marquis Brown did.

so I don't really see that as a viable argument. The reason why I think I personally have Mark Andrews in my second tier with the Kittle Waller Pitts crew, I don't think he's worth a round or two above the other three. Because I just don't see, he had 107 catches last year, over 1,300 yards, nine touchdowns, huge year. But before that, I mean, if you look back on the rest of his career, Mark Andrews hadn't had more than 64 catches in the season.

I think in reality, and I'm just looking at our rankings, the tiers should probably be Travis Kelsey and his own, tier, Andrews and Pitts in their own tier, and then Kittle and Waller in third tier. It's funny, it's like, obviously, you don't like having tiers that are just one or two players, but to me, that's, like, much more accurate and kind of like when you're on the clock, and just based on our rankings. Like, that's how they kind of like match up. But Kyle Pitts kind of freaks me out a little bit.

Kyle Pitts is, like, I think everyone agrees he's her third tight end. I kind of think he's the third tight end everywhere, right? But look, Falcons Phenom, we've talked a lot about him. I mean, Kyle Pitts, best tight-end prospect in NFL history, like, pretty easily. First tight end to have a thousand yards in his rookie seasons is Mike Ditka. In 1961. Granted, he had four games more than Mike Ditka. Shout out Mike Dicker, the actual real first tight end.

However, I just kind of get freaked out taking Kyle Pitts because I feel like so much of his talent and potential is baked into, like, how I have to take him. But potential is just another word for you. I haven't done shit yet. The Falcons are probably going to be, like, maybe the worst team in the entire league. and I mean that, the Falcons are probably worse than the Texans. The Falcons might be worse than the Jaguars. Like pick a team, I think the Falcons probably have outside of a couple cool names. They have Kyle Pitts.

They have Drake London. You know, maybe they'll have an interesting offense, Marcus Marrida. But this is probably like one of the worst rosters in the NFL outside of like some top heavy players. I kind of like the Falcons will have five wins. I don't know. It's kind of odd to me to be projecting Kyle Pitts to kind of take this leap at the price of already a top 30 player? Like how much ceiling can he get better? How much upside can Kyle Pitts deliver you beyond taking him with a 33rd pick? How much is he going to give you beyond that?

I think the big question that I have, it's funny that because it's like he has proven it. I mean, he was third in yards among tight ends. He was one of three tight ends of a thousand yards last year in the NFL. You know, like he had 110 targets, which was fifth most. Obviously, I think the big question for me, well, there's two questions. It's not necessarily can he live up to his potential. I already think he did. He looks incredible. He's 21 years old. He's amazing. I feel like an idiot's saying this. He's an amazing. He's an amazing person. He had one touchdown. And if he had seven last year, where would he be in our rankings? See, that is the big question I have is, is he good enough? Is the potential? It's the quarterback situation

is scary. That's what's scary to me. Not Kyle Pitts. Kyle Pitts is proven it in my mind. But Kyle Pitts is an elite player. The problem is he had one touchdown last year and that was with Matt Ryan, who is a good quarterback. Now you got Marcus Mario da at quarterback. And I don't like, you know, obviously, regression to the mean would say, like, based on his number of targets, he would have X amount of touchdowns, like way more touchdowns than he did last year. It's basically impossible to have a thousand plus yards in one touch.

Right. But I don't know, like this offense could take a massive, massive step back. And his efficiency could go down. His target rate could go down. The number of plays they run could go down. There's a lot of variables here that make me nervous about him. Not nervous enough to not take him, but there's reason he's not in that elite tier, I think, is kind of the deal.

So, I don't know. Like, that's just how I feel about him. I think he's arrived. I think he's the real deal. I think he proved that as a rookie. The question more to me is just like, what's the quarterback going to do here? I don't know. I mean, it's not like the Falcons were on fire last year.

I believe they were fifth worst and offensive DVOA. I get that Marcus Mariotas is not Matt Ryan, but I don't know. kind of see what he did last year. I think like a thousand yards in like five touchdowns. It's kind of like his floor, to be honest. Right. And I don't actually agree that that's Mark Andrews's his floor. I think like if somebody pointed a gun to my head and said, which one do you actually want Mark Andrews or Kyle Pitts? I'd pick Cow Pitts. Maybe to the upside. Maybe I'm tantalized. I like it. You're probably right about that because honestly, having a thousand and 30 yards

in change as a rookie tight end, it's kind of hard to explain. I mean, it's basically like 300 yards more than any tight ends as had in a rookie in like 40 years. Yeah. He's, yeah. He was like ridiculously good. Yeah, you're probably right. He's also got like a really, he's like explosive plays. Like he's got a really high A dot. He's lining up all over the field. He is the intangible thing of like you're having one of the coolest players in the NFL.

The NFL Instagram is going to be posting by Kyle Pitts. He's going to be on Red Zone. Like you undet, like there's this intangible element of having really cool players. Also, by the way, I think if Jamar Chase hadn't done what Jamar Chase did, we would be talking about Pitts a lot more. Jamar Chase ruined a lot of other people's time. in the sunshine. Yeah, because his rookie year was incredible.

So I don't know. I'm kind of with you, Craig. Like, I still would have Andrews as like a higher bet. And the way that the Ravens passing game works, it's like everything is over the middle field. It's all like, you know, up the seams. Mark Andrews is still going to be a big target in the red zone for Lamar Jackson. I'm actually banking.

I think Lamar Jackson's going to have a massive year. Of course, some of that is going to come on the ground. A lot of that's going to come on the ground. But I don't know, I just think the Ravens' offense is going to be good. So I'm still like leaning Andrews slightly, but also at the same time, like, if Pitts finishes as the Titan 1, like, I'm not really going to be surprised. Okay, so Travis Kelsey, Tier 1 is the Ferrari. We're giving Tier 2 to Mark Angis for Baltimore and Cow Pitts for Atlanta. What are we calling this? Like a Mercedes, a nice Mercedes. Well, I was looking at the

what are the best F1 cars of all times? I just, we're not mixing that. Why are we not doing F1? Yeah, like Kevin Clark did that in his thing. That was why we were joking around about Ferraris being like a bad metaphor or whatever. Well, that was because the guy didn't understand our really complex What car do you want to have? We're talking about cars. Guys buy when they have their midlife crisis. Ferrari, if they're really rich.

Corvettes is a good one. Yeah, so we're going to go. I think the next tier we got Corvette is George Kittle and Darren Waller. Because they're like if you want a really sick car, but you don't really have enough money for the sickest car. Okay. So you get a car that kind of like looks and sounds like sick, but it's not quite insane. Strays right now. My dad got a Corvette when he was like 45 and then got rid of it when he was like 40.

and he didn't make a mistake. There you go. You want to go to that one more? This tier, though, whatever the car this is, this is the Kid-O-Waller tier? Wait, did your mom make him return it? No, he realized he was like,

I never drove it. I was constantly, every time I drove it, I didn't want it to get dinged up. Like, I just, like, wanted to keep it in the garage. And he's like, and I realized, like, what's the point of having a car

if you don't drive it? What was he afraid of getting it dinged up? How do you... He was just like, I just thought it was so nice and, like, I just, like, never wanted to drive it. It was too nice. so I got right.

I can see that. Is that the George Kittle in this situation? You're afraid of getting it dinged up so that Shannon just keeps him in the garage? Yeah, dude, out of the five tight ends here in like our big group, Kittle is the one I'm easily the most afraid of. He is easily fifth out of these five in my rankings.

I don't trust anything that's going on in San Francisco on the offensive side. I have no idea what it's going to look like. We have no idea if Trey Lance is good. If Jimmy Garapola was a starting quarterback, Kittl would probably be like my third tight end on this list. But he could be the third option on a team that runs the ball 40 times against,

with a quarterback who is highly inaccurate. I just think the variance with Kittle is all over the place. I feel you. I think that's a good way to put it because George Kittle probably has, it would feels like some of the most upside of this group, but at the same time, the Niners just overall are a wild card. And also there's a lot of research basically that quarterbacks

that get a lot of rushing yards, like the Jalen Hertz's, we expect Traylands to get a lot, especially like younger quarterbacks, the combo of a younger running quarterback. They have a lot of trouble supporting more than one, like actual receiving option on their team, which makes sense. But I just feel like I'm reticent honestly about Debo on San Francisco just because he's being drafted like he's going to be a top five guy again at receiver, but probably not going

to be running again. And it depends on him getting force fed and then Kittle. And I just kind of honestly, I kind of, Tray Lance will be good in fantasy football because the rules of fantasy football are dumb and running for 10 yards is equal to passing for 25 yards. And again, I'm not trying to make this a rant. I live in the world like this is the way it is. So he'll be a good fantasy quarterback almost no matter what. But in real life, I really kind of just want to see Trey Lance be good at anything.

And I'm not trying to say Jimmy Gropel is great, but I don't know. How do you feel the Kittle this year, D.K.? I'm kind of in Craig's boat where he's tantalizing, but between the injuries and just never staying on the field mixed with Trey Lance uncertainty. I, ugh, it's something that gives me a pit in my stomach. It's tough. Kittles going to end up being one of those guys that. I just never draft.

Even though, like, we have to rank them at a certain place. I'm just never going to end up drafting this guy. Because, yeah, like all those things worry me. Not to mention the fact that his production has gone down over the last couple of years. His yards per reception and receptions dropped last year per game. Sorry, yards per reception and receptions per game dropped last year. And it's questionable per game has never been higher. He's always questionable.

His yak, his yards after the catch has slowly declined. I mean, obviously he's getting a little bit older and gotten, and beat up over the last few years. The other thing that's kind of key here is he blocks more than you really want from a tight end. He's almost a better real-life asset than a fantasy asset. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. That being said, like, he has been really consistent, like, top-tier tight end.

Like, he's been, like, top three when he's on the field. Right. And so, you know, his production is still there. He's still one of the best players in the NFL. And, by the way, he's still going to be, I think, one of the top two targets in this offense. And so DIPO is obviously going to be the number one or number two somewhere in there. And then I think Kittle is going to be either the number one or number two. I guess the fear here is maybe Iyuk emerges as the number two or something like that.

But I think it's still Kittle. Like he's still got the catbird seat there. No, I feel like with Kittle, the problem is that with the other time, again, it's Corvette. You're paying Corvette money. And again, I know we're nitpicking. The two guys are really good. But the whole point is when you're spending this much on a nice car, you want all the details to be right.

And that's kind of what we're talking about if you're taking a top tight end. My issue with Kittle is that in the Chief's ideal game plan, Travis Kelsey is crushing it in the game. And the Ravens, even if there's running more, when the Ravens are having their ideal game plan, Mark Andrews is getting forced fed the ball. That's the same for the Falcons. There's no game play in the Falcons have where Kyle Pitts is not getting force fed. The Niners are not necessarily going into a game and being like, well, George Kittles is this. The way that Shanahan and the offense goes, they're not necessarily dependent on George Kittle to be getting five. catches for like 95 yards to win.

Their niners have different ways to win, and they don't really care if they're getting kiddle the ball as much. And I think that you're kind of, the week to week consistency, both in what they're trying to do in the gameplay and mixed with just kiddle just being hurt all the time because he never wants to get tackled and he's rocking everybody.

It's just kind of exhausting, man, because nothing's worse than paying the 40th pick for kiddle to avoid having to go through the morass of streaming tight ends. And then gets hurt and he's questionable, and now you have to get stream tight ends anyway. It's just frustrating. He also doesn't score that many touchdowns. And Lance won't help that, I don't think.

Right. Like, would you guys really be surprised if Trey Lance throws the ball like 23 times a game? I wouldn't. Right. Does this mean that you, so you'd rather have Waller? I think there's a lot of question marks about Waller, too, though. I would rather have Waller. I feel much more confident about Waller than a lot of people.

Well, I guess, I don't know. It's tough because the whole thing with Darren Wallace, so he's the number one receiver on the team. And now they have Devante Adams. I think overall people, I think people are really underestimating how much Joshua Daniels. I said coach will make the Raiders offense just better, like this tide that lists all boats. But honestly, it's really difficult for me to see how Darren Waller is going to mix into all this because, I mean, overall, I feel like he's going to be on the field a lot. I'm not really nervous about that, but I don't know. He's a strange investment for me as well. Honestly,

I'm probably skipping this tier. I'm kind of interested in Kelsey if he falls and in the second round, I'll snatch him. But honestly, I'm seeing Kittle and Waller and I'm just kind of like, my entire life, I've kind of passed on tight edge and get in the 40s and 50s, and I've never once kind of looked and been like, oh, wow, I wish I hadn't done that. It's just hard because there's so many changes, you know, it's not the Gruden offense anymore. It's, you know, there's more different, there's more players in this offense now that could be part of the passing game. Obviously, Renfro came out of nowhere last year to be like a 100 plus catch guy.

Devante Adams is there now. So that puts a lot of uncertainty in. And I just, we just don't know what this is going to be. Are they going to be a bunch of like a really run heavy, bully ball type offense. Like, in theory, I could see it. If everything kind of is similar, like in terms of like target rate, routes run, like how much he's running routes, all that stuff.

Like his numbers, his underlying numbers, Waller's numbers are going to be elite still. He's still going to be running a ton of routes. He's still going to get a ton of targets, I think, especially relative to the rest of the tight ends in the NFL. But, you know, I think putting him here where we have him at Titan 5, I think makes a lot of sense just because there are so many question marks. I just don't, I don't really buy that Devante Adams is a huge negative for Darren Waller. Like, look at what Travis Kelsey did with Tyree Kill.

To me, this just means that the Raiders are going to be a better team this year. And if that team scores more points, I think Waller's going to benefit from that. Waller, you know, had kind of a weak touchdown year last year. He only converted two of his 10 end zone targets. And to me, it's like, I don't see the Raiders being a ground in pound with Josh Jacobs and Kenyon Drake while they have Hunter Renfro, Devonte Adams, and Darren Waller. like maybe the best three, two receiver one tight end combo in the league. I think that's a good argument, Craig, because it's also worth noting, like,

it's not just the stats waller had last year. The Raiders basically had the year from hell last year. I mean, John Gruden getting, like, iced in the middle of the season, him getting fired, the Henry Ruggs, that tragic arcs and everything. Like, the Raiders, like, it quickly became like not even about football for them. It was about life. And, like, it just, the Raiders, it was kind of amazing that they pulled themselves together in the second half the season, even made the playoffs.

But if you kind of think about everything, they had to, go through. I think coming into this season, like Waller and Adams and like Josh McDaniels as coach, I just think Josh McDaniels is super underrated, honestly. Like he just has been the offense quarter of the Patriots for the better part of like more than a decade. And I just don't really think people see coming. Like, they're like this sleeping giant in the AFC West. So I think that's a good point. But I don't know what you look around the other people you have to take if you're going to pass on Darren Waller. I mean, Craig, you love Alan Robinson. You probably have to pass in Allen Robinson if you want Darren Wall. Are you going to do that? I mean, you know, this question

always tough because it's like who else is on my team. But yes, I do agree that they're very close in my mind. Josh Allen or Darren Waller. I know that I'm kind of making a straw man argument because you don't know. But that's the point. Yeah, I'd still probably take Darren Waller, to be honest, because I think the second we leave this Corvette zone, then we're like immediately driving...

Family cars. It sucks. Yeah. The cars are a big down. Yeah, you're driving like something that's a little more reasonable and it gets better gas mileage. No, I agreed with Craig. It's like it really comes down to the type of build and that you want to do. Like, if you don't take these two tiers, these three tiers that we've identified,

there is a, in my mind, a massive, massive drop. So the top five again, it's Travis Kelsey's one, Mark Andrews is two, Kyle Pitts is three. We got George Kittle for Darren Waller five. In reality, Kelsey's his own tier. We're putting Mark Andrews and Kyle Pitts together. We're putting Kittle and Waller together. That's the top five. Then we go to like the next group.

All right. I've got tier four. You could put the next five guys a bunch of ways. I'm going to group T.J. Hawkinson from the Lions and Dalton Shultz from the Cowboys together to the fourth tier. I'm going to refer to them as souped up Mazdas. Then here's why. As the proud owner of a brand new Mazda CX5, I support this and I might just have to draft.

What if it's just a Mazda? I've never told you guys this. I've never told you the story. My first job when I was in high school, I worked at a frozen yogurt shop. And the frozen yogurt shop was next to an AT&T store. And they shared a parking lot. And, like, you're in the back, like, taking out the trash and stuff. So it's behind the frozen yogurt shop a lot.

And the guys who worked at the AT&T store next door, they were all drag racers. And they parked their car in the parking lot we shared. And they had, like, the license plates on their car. Like, they had a Mazda. And the license plate was like, you rev first. The manager's license plate was, like, too quick for you. And, like, they had the racing. stripes. They had spoilers.

They had a, what's the thing on the hood? The hood scoop. Like the stuff you customize the need for speed. They had everything. One of them literally had the checkered flag decal on the door. And it was kind of always amazing to me. And they were like sit in the parking lot and rev and I was like, look man, it's a fucking Mazda dude.

Calm down a little bit. The Mazda stands are going to come out of the woodwork here. That's me. I'm just saying. That's how I feel about Schultz and T.J. Hawkinson. Because they're going kind of high. You probably, like top 60. And I'm like, man, it's like it's Dalton Schultz. Like it's, what is the best case scenario here?

So I don't like these guys and I'll probably be passing on them. I don't know how you feel. But I see them and I just see think of Mazda's. I think putting these guys in the same tier is very smart and it makes a ton of sense because both of these guys have like pretty low A dot in terms of average depth of target. The way that they're utilized in their respective offenses, they're just basically dump off options. You know? They're catching fall guys.

They're the third down tight end dudes, whereas Waller and Kittle is. and Pitts and all those other guys talking about are like, you know, you can catch 20 yard over the middle and they're more 3rd and 6th. I feel like Hawkinson is not getting, isn't Hawkinson a little bit more of like, in the like could catch 20 yard passes down the field? Well, you ought to the catch guy? In theory, like we want him to be.

And I think he's capable of being him. But yes, that's not really how they use him. Number one, he's like kiddle a little bit in that he's asked to block more than you'd want. He ranked 20th in total routes last year. So the route numbers isn't as high as you want in terms of fantasy. his a dot was low, not very many explosive plays. In theory, he has like this dynamism that he could run after the catch and leap over guys and all that stuff that we see Kittal do, but we just haven't seen him do that. And by the way, Jared Goff is still his quarterback.

To me, the most important thing with Hawkinson is what is he going to be in this offense? He's kind of gone up in each year he's gone up in targets and catches per game. That's been improving throughout his career. this in theory could be his big breakout year but now the Lions have on Ron St. Brown, they drafted James and Williams they got DJ Charging Free Agency. Does this mean Hawkinson? And then obviously, Dantrey Swift is still

there. Is he like the third or fourth option at best in this passing game? Well, this is where it starts to get weird, right? Because T.J. Hawkinson, you could make the case for him being maybe the number one option on this offense and also the fourth. Right. And that's why the first five picks in this tight end tier group are so enticing

because there's no question marks with any of those other guys. But can I point out that Dalton Schultz I want to slam the sleeper buzzer for Dalton Schultz I'm in on Dalton Schultz okay he's the number two option on Dallas

Amari Cooper's gone Dalton Shultz I don't care if he's Jason Whitten 1.0 he's just the same worst point 0.0.0.8 yeah 0.8 yeah he went back could do Jason Witten the S model?

Yeah yeah I'm totally up for like the second option and the Dak Prescott offense just catching like 6-7 passes a game and falling down. Okay, I actually think this is a perfect example of, we've talked about this every year. It's like you have to draft guys that aren't very good. Like, I think you could replace Dalton Schultz

with literally fucking any player in the NFL. Damn. And I'd be like, okay, sure, he'll do approximately what Dalton Schultz would do. No, I have to hop in as a Giants fan. In real life, Dalton Shultz is so annoying. And I think I always, as Craig's, I always compare me to Jason Witt,

not because I'm not trying to compare him one of the best tenants ever. but it's more like as a Giants fan who's watched the Cowboys my whole life every third and four when the Giants play the Cowboys like it's going to fucking Jason Witten Dalton Shultz has taken that where it's like on Dallas

the Cowboys since listening to this I'm pretty sure I'm probably gonna vigorously nod on third and four they're all like just throw it a Shultz he'll get it done and again that's why I'm like a points of professed down guy however I guess I just my counter for Craig is when you take a

tight end in like I don't know 70th or something you want him to like have a fight a puncher's chance to be like the second an overall tight end in a world where everyone's healthy. Like obviously people get hurt, people get hurt. But if like all the top five tight ends we just talked about, we're all healthy for 17 games.

And every tight end, we're all healthy for 17 games. I don't really see how Dalton Schultz could come in second. You know what I mean? I see how T.J. Hawkinson could. But Schultz, I just don't really see it. Yeah. Is he going to have 1,200 yards in his season? That feels impossible.

I don't disagree with that. But he did lose, I mean, we did lose Amari Cooper. The guy had 800 yards and eight touchdowns last year, and they just lost maybe the top option on the team. Here's the deal. I say the, I would say you could replace him with anybody. I do kind of think he is a bit of a jag. Oh, that's D.K.'s ultimate word.

Just a guy. Also, Hyvitz, how do you think Dalton Schultz finished last year? He was the tight end three, but that's because people got hurt, and that's over the whole season. I'm talking to a world where everyone's healthy, could he outperform people in a per game basis. Well, the best ability is availability, Hyfittson. I'm much more confident that Dalton Schultz is going to play 17 games than George Kittle. I actually looked this up because I think it's interesting. Schultz.

average depth of target 7.1 yards, which was 21st among all tight ends that qualified. He had just six catches over 20 yards. So explosive deep plays, six catches. 16 tight ends had more than that. And by the way, Schultz had 104 targets on the year. So for the 20 yards, is that average depth of tarc over 20 or the play went for 20? 20 yards receptions.

Okay. Not targeted. So basically what I'm saying is he didn't create big plays, like hardly at all. Foster Moreau, the backup tight end. the Raiders had six. CJ Usoma had seven. For comp, Mark Andrews had 20 of those plays. Kyle Pitts had 16.

Gromk had 16. Gassicki, Mike Gassicki had 12. He's just not dynamic. This is just not the type of tight end I want to target. It's just like he's just getting dump-offs. I get it like this is part of PPR and he's going to be valuable in PBR. But like that cast is sealing in my mind. Let me pivot.

Let me pivot. While you pivot, where was Hawkinson on that? list, D.K. Because we got him kind of back to back. I don't have the list in front of me, but he was right down there. He had like six or seven, too. Yeah, that's what's interesting. Hawkinson's such a better athlete than Schultz, but as you said, D.K. Link isn't used that way. I guess basically I'm just

like, look, we're all, we're on the same page here. It sucks to stream tight ends. We called it buffering because it's not even streaming. It's just buffering tight ends. It's the worst. And I think the actual genuine best service we could provide people's fantasy analysts is to not make you have to figure out if you're going to

try to add Gerald Everett this week and see if Jared Cook or whatever will like I get a touchdown. It's the least fun part of the game. But the flip side is if you're not going to get a Kelsey or one of those five guys who discussed, and in my opinion, like Kelsey and Andrews or a pits, you got to wait because the only thing worse than waiting on tight end is like half-assing it. And I think about breaking bad of like no half measures, Walter. It's like if you're going to not get the elite guy, just wait and try to get a solid guy later because I hear what you're saying, Craig that, well, why take George Kittle when you get Schultz 30 picks later? I'm like, why take George Kittle if you could get, you know, Doss and Knox 75 picks later? And that's kind of

where I'm at. My pivot is that I, one of my least favorite things to do is going to the waiver wire every week and figure out which tight end is, oh, is it going to be Cameron Bray? Is he going to get three targets this week? To me, Dalton Schultz, I think where I'm landing on this is I think he's appropriately priced and I think if he falls to you at the at the ADP he's given like you know what take him this dude ran the third most overall routes for tight ends last year that's huge which is yeah it's huge I mean he was yes he was third overall in tight end points I know you want per game he was fifth per game and Amari cooper's gone like this guy is as solid as they fucking come he's not the type of player who you think would get hurt a lot because all he does like dK said

is catch 10 yard passes and fall to his knees like to me this is this is this is this is is the easiest insurance, just like the Mazda, strong Japanese engineering. Like, you're, you're not going to have to worry about anything when you have Dalton Schultz. I completely agree. He's a Mazda. The reason I said he's a Mazda is because just, I like Mazda. Just don't put a fucking racing straight and a spoiler on the back and get your license plate with the Mazda.

Don't draft Dalton Shultz and get the license plate that says you rev first. Mazda was always the car you started with in need for speed. It was like the first car and you're like, oh, I got to upgrade this. You like toss all the tricks on it and try to. Volkswagen Golf. Yeah. I like this. As long as you go in with eyes wide open that these guys aren't going to be like super

exciting. Yeah. The whole point with Shultz is like, yeah. Just don't get the, you read first. Okay, next, the next tier here, we got Dallas Goddard for the Eagles, Zach Ertz for the Cardinals, and then Dawson Knox for the bills. Craig, you wanted to name this tier, I can't speak English. You wanted to name this tier Toyota Prius, but I don't know why.

Why did you want to name this tier Toyota Prius? Because it's like, to me, these are the last, line of like pretty good tight ends, but nobody cares. Like this is like, like, if some, if you pull up on a Prius, no one is saying a single word. No one's like, oh, I thought you were going to say no one cares about saving the world. Literally like a week ago, I pulled up behind a Prius and the Prius had a bumper sticker that said, nice Prius with an exclamation mark and then it was like signed nobody. Unbelievable.

Nice Prius signed nobody. Nice tight end. Zach Ertz said nobody. That's so funny. I have to say, I've really come around on Dallas Goddard. I'm going to pick a guy in this tier, it's easily Dallas Goddard. Honestly, half my argument probably with Dalton Schultz is you could wait 20 picks and get Dallas Goddard.

Here's the name Goddard. And the surface, third option in the Eagles, so they have AJ Brown now, and they have Devante Smith, who was like, you know, the Heisman Trophy winner two years ago. And the Jalen Hurts, bad passer, blah, blah, blah, third option, the offense wide with Dallas Goddard. To me, it's twofold. One, it's the first year he's actually the starting tight-in for the Eagles. Like it's easy to forget, Zach Ertz was traded midway through last season.

But the Eagles going into last year, Zachertz was number one. And Dallas Goddard was the backup. And all the production Goddard had, like, he was done despite the lack of like the offseason certainty, all the reps they get in the off season. Now he's getting that as the established tight end. He's like no competition. He's going to be the guy. Number two, did you know Dallas Goddard led all tight ends and yards per route round last year? So you're saying he's fuel efficient.

God damn. Yeah. He's not even using fuel half the time. It's all, you know, it's just electric. I'm so mad. Your joke was bailed out by that. But literally, like, if you could pick a stat that predicts, like, production, like, you're like, oh, here's an efficiency stat that predicts, like, how good a guy is

in getting open. It's basically yards per rat run. Like, if you could get, I want my receiver to lead in one statistic, yards per rat runs like the best one you could ask for. Dallas Goddard, number one in yards per rat run among all tight ends. And now he's actually for the first time getting the job. But he's not getting treated like that because he's been around. But he's in these two tight-end sets with Zach Kurtz,

and Zach Kurtz is gone now. Yeah. Goddard is a conundrum to me. He is, because I think he's really good. Like in real life, he's really good. Like you said, he's first in yards per outrun last year. He's second in yards per reception. Averaged almost 15 yards per reception.

So he's like an explosive play guy. One of the best in yards after the catch in the game. In fact, he averaged 6.7 yards per reception after the catch last year, which is more than Kittle. More than George Kittle. That's pretty wild. He was fifth and total yards after the catch. So, and he was, by the way, he had 49 first-st-nine catches, which was fourth.

All these things are, like, really exciting. You know, he's going to shoot to the stratosphere next year. Like, it's all looking really good. All the underlying stats are there. However, a couple problems. Number one, he's too good at blocking. He was 20th in routes last year, only 395. Compare that to 740 routes for Kelsey.

Like, around half. Wait, 740 to what? Just say he ran about half. as many routes as Travis Kelsey last year. I don't like that. This is not what you want in fantasy. I mean, obviously, Kelsey is like an outlier. Kelsey's an outlier.

Let me do this live. Let me run that and see if there was a breakdown before and after the trade deadline. I kind of want to see if that changed. That would be interesting. Let me see if we can run that real quick. So, but like the bottom line is like last year, the Eagles were run heavy like most of the second half. We don't know exactly what they're going to be this year.

Maybe they will end up being like a really pass heavy team. And then the fact that he's the number three on this offense won't matter. but with AJ Brown, DeWante Smith there, like he's not the one or two. That's like what worries me. And that's why he is where he is. That's why he's not getting drafted super, super high. But yeah, he's a conundrum.

Because I think, like I said, he's really good, but it's just like the situation he's in is a little bit scary. First eight weeks of the season, he had 19 targets. He missed a couple games, so that's kind of cheating a little bit, but still basically 20 targets in the first half of the season. And then in the second half of the season, 33. So yeah, I see what you're saying. Regardless, he had 800 yards last year, and Dalton Schultz had 808, and now he's actually the number one time.

Goddard had 830 yards on 56 catches. Like, Dalton Schultz had 78 catches, and he had 808 yards. I agree with DK, because the explosiveness is what makes, like, the fact that he's 20 spots later, but he's just more explosive, just kind of makes me more into Goddard. He's more explosive, he's more dangerous down the field, and he's better at running after catch. Yeah, but he's not a top two option like Dalton Schultz. To me, Dalton Schultz more reliable, Dallas Goddardt, higher upside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

We've mentioned Zach Ertz. There's a Twitter account that tracks whether he can break tackles and he just can't. I love that about Earths. I love this about Hertz. He'll probably be fine option. He's going to catch a lot of passes. Again, so it's very neat. I think the top, these are the top 10 tight ends.

again Travis Kelsey Mark Andrews Kyle Pitts George Kiddell Darren Waller's top five and then you got six through ten is Tjahawkinson Dalton Schultz Dallas got it Zachard Stoss and Nucks. I actually it's a nice neat clean top 10 because if you take those guys I don't think you're going to have to like stream hopefully right you guys feel that way you feel confident all 10 of those guys if you take me you're probably not going to have to stream probably yeah then we get into like the next group and it feels like absolute chaos like I feel like I'm looking at waivers with the next group. I don't know what car this is.

Like we were Ford Aspire. I don't know what that looks like. An 06 Honda Codd. Oh six. I like it. If you Google a Ford Aspire. It's pretty funny. Yeah.

So we got Pittsburgh, Pat Friarmouth. Denver's, oh, I got this. It's Albert O, who I figured it. It's Albert Ukuwebunam. David and Joku for Cleveland, Irv Smith Jr. from Minnesota, Cole Komet for the Bears, Noah Fant for Seattle,

Robert Tonian for the Pack. and then Gerald Everett for the Chargers. It just feels like reading off a list of waivers, guys, doesn't it? It does. Did you guys know that Noah Fant had the same amount of catches as Cow Pits? I know. Problem is he has about 400 fewer yards. It's just one problem, happy.

You're not any good. Not any good. I just literally just looking at the list of receiving receptions among tight ends. No fan cow pits are the same amount of catches. I just think that's bizarre. It's crazy. Can I play a game with you guys? So I mentioned yards per route run

And that's basically like the best stat you could ask for If I asked the top Can you guys name the top seven tight ends last year By yards per rat run? And I told Dallas Goddard's number one Can you name the other guys in the top seven? Travis Kelsey Pitts.

Yes, he's he's Kelsey's on there Cal Pitts is on there George Kittles on there Shultz Nope Damn it What's his stupid point here that Cole commits on it? So it's George Kittal, Dallas Goddard, Mark Andrews, Travis Kelsey,

Grancowski, Cal Pitts, the seventh. No. The seventh is Albert O. Oh, okay. Albert O was actually ahead of Travis Kelsey. I knew this. I knew that. I was really strong there.

And so it's basically the list is Dallas Goddard, make them what you will. And then you have basically the consensus five best tight ends in football, all in top yards per route run. and then the other guy, halfway up that list, is Albert O, who now gets Russell Wilson on the Broncos and is virtually, like, free. He's not quite undrafted, but he's like 130th. It's one of those, like, you could totally throw a dart,

and I'm going to break my own rule here. Albert O is athletic. 4-4. He ran a 4-4. He's very extremely athletic. When I say athletic, I mean, he is, I'm breaking my own rule for a reason. Albert O, for the Broncos said, is the, like, so Bill Barnwell invented this thing

called speed score. It's kind of incredible, no one had thought of this, but instead of just lining up everyone up by 40-yard dash, Bill Barnwell, you know, genius was like, what if we just accounted for it by weight? How does no one account for this by weight?

If Devante Smith is 110 pounds, how are we not comparing his speed based on weight to someone who's 210 pounds? Like, you know what I mean? So if you account for someone's 40-yard dash with how much they weigh, Alberto's speed score is in the 100th percentile

among tight ends. It is Alberto and Darren Waller. And here's the thing. Darren Waller is 29. So he ran his 40-yard dash like seven years ago. So if we're being honest, Alberto is the pound for pound, the fastest tight end in the NFL.

And so I will give him the athletic tag, even by tight-end standards. I'm not saying he's going to be great. The Broncos drafted a tight end in like the second or third round this year, Greg Dulcich, I can't pronounce it. Yeah, Dulcich. My opinion is like this.

We got to see how the, I'm not recommending Alberto as like the sleeper, Jimmy Graham of this year. We got to see how the training camp battle plays out. If Alberto is having trouble dispatching this rookie, I'll be very concerned. But if Alberto basically just takes all the first team reps within two weeks of camp and just any sign from Denver that like he's entrenched as the guy, he's the guy that pops as like,

that's the guy that could shoot into the top four for this season for me off this list. Your Alberto pick or argument or case or whatever you want to call it is a good one. And he checks all the boxes for the classic trap of the sleeper tight end. He does. Yes, he does. But then the season's going to start. He's going to be like the fourth option on a team. Russell Wilson has pretty much never had a good tight end on his team.

Or sorry, he's never produced a good fantasy tight end. The guy doesn't throw over the middle. That's where tight ends run routes. Like there are a lot of arguments against it as well. However, all the flashy arguments that you give, to me, they're a lot better than like half these other guys in this pit. So that's the thing. And again, I think it's like, what are you looking for with like the tight end and the morass, right? there's basically like you could get like a pat fryermouth last year not some explosive athlete but

just getting a lot of touchdowns that's like impossible to predict it's really hard to predict which random tight end is going to actually end up with like 11 touchdowns this year so in the absence of that i feel like you can look for you're basically going to look for a guy who's like a top two option on his offense like as craig was saying about dalton shultz that's why i like cole commit for the bears because it's like they have darnel mooney's receiver they have cole commit tight end and like nobody else i'm not worried about buying prinkle So even though the Bears will be bad, I'm looking at this. I'm like Colquette's option one be in the offense.

Or you can kind of, in my opinion, you can look at guys with good quarterbacks. Because ultimately, if you're not a top two option in your offense, you need a quarterback who's going to consistently get to this third option. But that means they're making their progressions quickly, right? Like you literally have to have a quarterback get through one, nope, two, nope, three, nope, and sometimes four, okay. And so you need better quarterback. So I like the Albert-O, because it's the athleticism mixed with Russell Wilson being a good quarterback. And if you look at some of these other guys like Pat Friermouth, who last year was really good.

I feel like Pat Friarmer's value almost totally came from Ben Rothesburg liking him in the red zone. Maybe it happens with Trubisky, but I don't know. I'm not really convinced that Mitchell Trubiske is going to find Pat Friermouth a lot. And even if he does, how good can he really be? Albert O, I like because I feel like you're betting on not just getting out of the streamer world, but getting someone actually he could be just as good as Darren Waller in like the perfect world. Not saying it's likely, but it's possible. Craig, who's your sleeper?

I honestly have no real tangible evidence as to why this person is, but I like the idea of Gerald Everett in Los Angeles with Justin Herbert and the Chargers because, you know, Mike Williams has banged up a lot.

I love Mike Williams and you have Keenan Allen. Other than that, not a lot of other people running routes that I feel super great about. I know they have Austin Eckler who catches a ton of passes, but like, I don't know.

In my mind, like, Gerald Everett has the physical tools he's athletic. I know he like ruined the Seahawks season last year by dropping like three touchdowns in one game. Yeah. But like, I still love him.

I forgot about that. The Jared Cook situation in Los Angeles last few years, like to me just, he does not have the same ability as somebody like Gerald Everett does to tap into the Justin Herbert potential. So like to me, he's like an absolute flyer. You never know.

His athleticism could poke through and he could be like an eight touchdown guy for the charges this year in the red zone, but that's it. I've always loved Everett. He goes beast mode after the catch. He's just runs dudes over. Yeah.

He's one of those players that's like constantly perennial favorite for fantasy analyst because he's a good player, but he just never actually does anything. He's like the opposite of there's just one problem happy. He isn't any good because it's like there's players who are good, but it just doesn't work for some reason. Right. Every year.

This is his year though. I feel it. Yeah, this is the year. We can do it this year. Okay. So we're actually going to leave. and you're going to like draft one of these guys as you waited on tight end all the way to the end.

Craig takes Gerald Everett. I'm going to grab Cole Commet or Alberto, D.K. Who is the guy that you would, if you're like the last person, you'll lead to grab a tight end in a 12-team league, who are you picking from this list? I don't know, honestly. I like Alberto.

I like Cole Comette. I think the ones that you guys highlighted are definitely good. I'll throw out a couple more names that are definitely intriguing in my mind. Dave and Joku, who just got a big new contract with the Browns. Obviously, the Deshaun Watson situation doesn't inspire confidence for that offense. And we don't even know if he's going to play this year.

Irv Smith for the Vikings, I think is kind of intriguing. Again, this is the same deal every year. It seems like Irv Smith is a sleeper. Isn't it say, you're trying to trigger Craig? But third option in this offense in theory behind Justin Jefferson and Thielen, and they're going to be more pass-heavy and I guess more modern or whatever and be the Rams-style offense. It's an option. I think this is a sleeper.

If you're going to go to one of these guys, late. I'm drafting two of them and seeing what happens. Throw in freaking Austin Hooper. No. Why not? He's on the Titans. They have nobody else. Throw in Robert Tanya from the Packers, who we don't even know if he's going to be healthy, but, you know, who knows? And then I'm putting Tase of Hill in this group. Oh, my God. Go-line packages, baby. He's going to score six rushing touchdown. Relieve me from this hell, God.

Stop it. I can't do it anymore. Just wait. okay that's the end of the all right we're done with tight ends I heard Tayson Hill's name that was over okay those are the tight end tears emails just one quick one today I wanted to shout out Ian

Ian he noted that if people listened to our last episode at the end we were talking about we somehow landed on the game hopscotch like we talked about what kids do in recess these days

and one of you was like oh they're playing hopscotch and I was like there's no way kids are playing hopscotch these days we got iPads folks We got Fortnite. We're not playing hopscotch. But he pointed out that this, I missed this on Twitter.

I don't know if you guys saw this. That's like, it was like a month or two ago. Somebody posted the kids have found a new hopscotch. And it went viral. It is, I think a brother and a sister, very young, playing hopscotch on what they, I believe, unwillingly know is a giant penis and balls. Unwittingly.

Oh, my God. Yeah, unwittingly. Sorry, yeah. So check that out. I hyperlinked it in the Google Doc. I'm not going to put it in the show description or anything like that. But just Google, or just go on Twitter and search new hopscotch. The kids are loving it.

Oh my gosh. There's even just like hairs on the phone. Oh, man. And there's a little start line leading right up to the tip there. It looks like the penises that Jonah Hill drew in Superbad. They do. They looks exactly like that. You recognize them.

And yeah, I guess by that I just mean it looks like a drawn penis. on the ground. So anyway, thank you, Ian, for that. I missed that on Twitter. Now my algorithm is probably screwed and I'm just going to see hopscotch penises, but... Yeah, be careful Googling penises on Twitter.

Yeah, that's... That's a minefield right there. So, I don't know. If anybody has any other insights on what the kids are doing these days at recess, I'd actually wonder, do you think... I wonder how many kids now have an iPhone?

Like, what percentage of eight-year-olds have iPhones? Smartphones or iPhones? Let's say smartphones. Do you think half of eight-year-olds have smartphones in America? DK, you're a father. What age would you give your kid a phone? I don't know.

It's a hard one because you want to keep track of them, right? And they have the ability to call you if they need you kind of deal. But the internet is just the fucking worst. I don't know anything about parental controls. Like I've never had to deal with that. But I imagine they're like really strong. I'm sure with parental control, you can just turn your kid's iPhone into like a freaking and texting machine, right,

and not let them use a browser? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Kids are really mean, and then having this, like, new weapon to, like, bully each other with is tough with, like, phones and stuff. But it's also crazy that kids these days,

kids these days, I sound like old men. They really can. Organic kids these days. Dude, they really can, like, use technology so much better than any, like, freaking boomer. Like, Calvin, who's three,

can get on his little tablet and, like, navigate in to watch Blue, or whatever on his tablet. You know what I mean? It's just like... What else is he navigating into? Well, it's a really... It's like one of those Amazon ones that's just like a few games and then a few shows.

I'm just imagining a dystopian world in which recess nowadays is just a bunch of nine-year-olds looking at their phones outside. Yeah. I just want to know if that's a thing. Is this where the term touch grass comes from, by the way? It's like... Yes, it's like... Yes.

It means like, get outside. Yeah. But I don't know. Maybe if you're a teacher and you teach... like, you know, second, third, fourth grade, let us know, maybe you all take the phones before recess, so they have to go outside and play. I'd love to know what the phone

situation is like for 8, 9, 10 year olds. Yeah. Email us to bringer fantasy football at gmail.com. Okay. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, D.K. Thank you to that random manager of the AT&T store at the Mazda with the U.S. I always like, I can't believe I've never told that story. Thank you to teachers. Email us.

Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you, Cameron. Nice. Okay. Okay. That was one of your cooler ones. That was. That was a good one.

Thanks, Craig. Appreciate it. I like that term. Go touch grass. Do you think that artist with like apostrophies in their name suffered anything when everything went to like the internet and like you just search? And there was, you think there's any search penalty now that you can't just,

you know what I mean? Why can't you say penalty? I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Penalty.

There. That was it. did it. It's when you say it quickly when you're not thinking about it. Well, yeah, it's my core me. So this ice cream shop was your first job? That was my first job. Yeah, I worked at a frozen yogurt shop. What was the best flavor? Oh, man. I mean, cookies and cream or just peanut butter was incredible. Nice. Craig, what was your first job? I was like a little league umpire. The worst job possible. Did you get heckled? Yeah, we're parents mean. Did you start? To be honest, I did it for like a summer and I was like the first base ump.

You know, it was whatever. And then I was also a bagger at a grocery store for like a week and then I hated it and quit. And then I was a, I worked at like our film rental house in college. Oh, that's cool. Did you just sit at a desk all day and just rent and no one came to rent that equipment? Well, it was for the film major. So people were always renting out of equipment. Oh.

I was a boat driver at a kid's, like water ski camp for a while. That was probably my best job growing up. You seem like an awesome boat driver. Were you going to be a ferry captain? Yeah, that's like my all-time backup. If, you know, sports media just ends up not being a thing anymore, I'm going to be a ferry boat captain in Washington

because there's like a ton of ferries in Washington. Yeah, fun fact, I just went to Seattle for a wedding. Craig and I rode a ferry together. It was amazing. Yeah. I can barely remember that ferry I was so hungover. I actually can't believe that was a 45-minute ferry. I have no idea how I got through that.

You know, you're on a plane and it's like, oh, if the pilots incapacitate, who could take over? Dika, could you take over the ferry if you had to do it? I have not a ferry. I could do it on like a normal boat, yeah. Dude, it's probably pretty easy to finish the trip on a ferry. It goes like five miles an hour and it's massive. How do you stop?

Ram into the fucking box? That's like Craig's best takes where he's like jobs are easy. Acting, easy. Fairy boat captain, easy. I could be a captain of a boat. I mean, there's definitely, I'd rather do that than try and land a plane. Yes, me too. No shit, D.K.

What the hell? I think I could really see D.K. as a ferry captain. I told them to try and do both, be a podcaster slash fairy captain. I mean, make a studio on the ferry. Might not. Yeah, that's a good point. Maybe he'll do a podcast about being a ferry boat captain. Just give the people what they want.

All right. Come in next year. Yeah, okay. All right. That'll be our next day. episode. We're going to just eschew training camp and we're just going to, you know, fairy boat. Okay, so fantasyf football.3.com. Our rankings will update next week. We were going to do like running back rankings, receiver rankings, but instead we're

just going to talk about ferry boats. So come back for the ferry boats. We just call them fairies, by the way. I don't know why we think ferry boats. I haven't been, yeah, I don't know. It's the Staten Island fair. There's not many ferries in my life, man. Thank you, everyone. Goodbye.