The Ringer NFL Show - The 2023 Fantasy Football Take Purge

Episode Date: September 3, 2023

Welcome to the Take Purge. All NFL- and fantasy football–related takes, including those you don’t actually believe, will be legal for 60 continuous minutes. All rational thought, logic, and professional credibility will be suspended during this time. Check out our 2023 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens Producer: Kai Grady Audio intern: Jack Sanders Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's your boy Johnny Bananas, and I'm going to be covering a brand new season of the Challenge USA on CBS that, of course, I will be completely dominating on my podcast, death taxes and bananas on the Ringer reality TV podcast. Head over that feed and follow us on Spotify so you never miss an episode. This is not a test. This is your emergency podcast system announcing the commencement of the end. you will take purge. At the siren, all takes, including things you don't actually believe, will be legal for 60 continuous minutes. No players, coaches, or media members of any kind will be granted immunity. All rational thought, logic, and professional credibility will be suspended. The Ringer podcast network thanks you for your participation. May our take God Chris Sims be with you all. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. I am joined by two men ready to cleanse their souls. Danny Kelly and Craig

Worldbeck. We have just a minute or two here until this horn sounds and all takes. Are you guys nervous? I got the butterflies going. How could you not be nervous? It's like pregame. I don't know what's going to happen in there. It's like a gladiator when he's getting ready. He's like

psyching himself out. He grabs the dirt, puts it on his hands. So we're doing right now. What scares me is I become a different person inside the Take Perch, you know? If you've seen the movie, normal citizens become animals. Do you become a different person? Do you become who you've always been all along? Ooh.

That's deep. Something deep inside me gets unearthed. Again, we spend really eight months preparing for this season. For the Super Bowl ended and we've just been talking really about what's going to happen in this season. Do all this research. We do all this work. And we have all this professional, responsible, credible research. Yeah, we can't have another Mike Davis on our hands.

So we're taking that seriously. But among all that, though, we get the unwanted ideation. We get these intrusive thoughts, these horrible things that cross our mind that we don't believe, but we do think. And so we created this take purge as a safe space for us to really purge these intrusive thoughts and be free and to float high above for the rest of the year, unencumbered. by these disgraceful things that we carry with us every day. Yes. Remember, folks, at home here, we are not on the hook for any of these takes. These are consequence-free takes.

Unless we're right. We are immune to media backlash. None of it counts in this hour. Oh, oh, there it is. There it is. Yes. Game time. Let's do this.

Game time, baby. Wow. All right. 60 minutes. Take Burge. No responsibility. All freedom, baby. Who wants to go first?

Oh my God. Craig? Do you want to do the honors? Sure, I'll start. Sure. All right. Anthony Richardson is going to stink. Stink.

He's going to be the Trent Richardson of quarterbacks. Oh. You know who didn't do shit as a rookie? All those other running quarterbacks, Justin Fields, Josh Allen, Jalen Hertz. We're all just assuming he's Justin Fields, but Justin Fields was a fucking disaster in his rookie season. He averaged 10 fantasy points a game. You want 700 rushing yards from your quarterback in the middle rounds? Draft Daniel Jones. This dude can't hit the broad

side of a fucking barn. And I think by week eight, Gardner Minchew's going to be starting. Oh my God. He thinks he's going to get benched. Oh, coming out hot. I love this because we always say that, oh, it's Jalen Hertz or Lamar Jackson, you know, we led the league in touchdown. throws and then also had like a thousand rush yards like it's like a running back and a quarterback fused together so you get the rush quarterback but Anthony Richardson's kind of like if you fuse

together like Desmond Ritter and Devin Singletary like it's not actually something you want yeah yeah you know it's like a combo meal but two items that don't actually appeal to you it's the filet of fish and I don't know the apples from McDonald's

apples yeah you know the hype has gone so hard on this guy and everyone's freaking out at how amazing his little 10-yard scrambles are. I'm like, this dude can't throw a slant. So I don't know what we think is going to happen this year. And he also has no receivers to throw to

and no running backs. But the defenses his receivers can't catch. I'm like, well, that's not good either. That's not great. The thing that's in the back of my mind that has been in the back of my mind throughout this whole Anthony Richardson thing is there's some similarities to Trey Lance with him in terms of like the total number

of passes he's thrown. That's the The other thing. He's barely played football. Right. It's like, oh, God. We ignored all of the Trey Lance signs. We immediately fell for the exact same thing. I know. Well, this is what we've talked about this on a previous take purge.

Like with Trey Lance, it's like, ah, what are we doing here? This is not going to work, you know? Like, he has no experience. You know your buddy that like keeps dating the same type of crazy girl? And he just breaks up with one. And then he's, we're like, oh, finally that's over. And then his next girl has the exact same personality. And we're like, dude, what are you doing?

That's us with Trey Lance and Anthony Richardson. Yeah. We're the guys in Moneyball who are just like got a great ass, Billy. It's like, well, why can't he hit? Craig, this pains me. I will say in our defense, Tray Lance was not the most athletic quarterback of all time. And Anthony Richardson is. That's all I'm going to say, everything else you said is relatively valid.

If you're the most athletic quarterback ever, shouldn't you be able to hit a guy in a slant? I think the argument for Anthony Richardson is like Florida got their ass kicked and you watch the Florida football team without Anthony Richardson. Oh my God. Maybe this was like North Dakota State with Tray Lance. You're like, geez. No, that's really good. Wasn't Florida like seven and six with Richardson last year?

Yeah, they were like third in their division or something. Two and 11. First of your conference. Dude, I like that one. Came out hot. You guys want one for me? I do. Brock Purdy is going to be a top 10 quarterback in fantasy this year.

Oh, God. We've spent the entire fucking, we've spent the last like calendar year. Well, most of it anyway. just fucking talking about how the Brock pretty cult is delusional. But I'm, and I'm not pretty pilled. I'm just trying to be pragmatic here. Like in the five starts that he had last season and the regular season,

he averaged 18.2 points per game. Over the full season, that would have ranked eighth. He has the best skill group in the NFL. He has the best left tackle in the NFL. It's the best play caller in the NFL and Kyle Shanehan. And the thing that we're forgetting, guys, you can't measure dick swagger. This guy, he's got it.

He's got that thing. You know? Dick Swagger. He can measure it. He's got that dick swagger, you know? Like he's just, did you see it when he scored a rushing touchdown in the preseason? He's like fucking going up to the crowd, like beating his chest. Like he's got that.

He's got that swagger. What is the difference between swagger and Dick Swagger? I don't know. It's like one of those things you just have to see to know. You know it when you see it. It's like pornography. I've never heard of Dick Swagger. Are you, to be clear, are you saying you like see the swagger or you see, you know,

The dick. No, I can't see his dick. You can see the Dick Swagger. So he has big dick energy and swagger. And you're merging those together. They're very similar. BDE is big color. Big Cock Brock.

Right. Dick, you missed that episode. You had COVID or something. Craig and I literally just went back and forth in Brock Pretty Dick Dekhams for as long as we possibly could. Dwayne the Brock Johnson. We had a million of them. I have a Brock Purdy take as well.

Let's hear it. That I would like to get off my chest. I hope it's the exact opposite. I think Brock Purdy's going to get benched for Sam Darnold and the 49ers will then win the Super Bowl. I would really like to clarify. I want to be very clear. I'm not saying Brock Purdy is going to get hurt.

I'm saying Brock Purdy will be healthy and get benched because Sam Darnold's better. And then the 49ers will win the Super Bowl with Sam Darnold. This is a good one because Shanahan in his heart, there's nothing he wants more than to play Sam Darnold. like deep down. You have to give some of this credit to D.K. Because D.K. was the second Sam Darnold went to the Niners, D.K.

was like, Sam Donald's going to start. I think D.K. and I have been on Darnold together. For me, all right. So I am serious about this. I am a huge radical of nature versus nurture with quarterbacks. And it's not a fear as much as I find it as common fucking sense that Sam Darnold was a ball of talent that went to Adam Gase. And it's funnily enough, the last month on this show, we've been joking about, like, would you leave the Super Bowl if your wife was giving birth? Adam Gase, remember, Adam Gase, that story about he left his wife on the operating table to go to work on a Tuesday.

Like, Peyton Manning was like, why are you here, bro? Like, her, his wife was open. His wife was open. Yeah. And she looked at her. He was like, you good? She's like, I'm good. And he's like, all right, I'm out.

And then there's is, do you want to cut the umbilical cord? And he's like, no, I'm good. And leaves. Like that was Sam Donald's mentor. Oh, God. Everything about that story is just painful to me. Dude, he's a crazy person. I think this is such a good take, and I wish I had it.

I'm jealous of this take. You know that line in Happy Gilmore when Chubbs watches Happy hit the driver? And he goes, by God it, he's going to play. By God, he's going to win. That's how I feel like when Sam Donald came to the Niners, first day of training camp Shanahan's like I got it he's going to play and he's going to win

Chums is looking at Sam he's looking at Donald he's like you're going to cut that shit out you're going to concentrate on golf I think it's freaking true though because here's the thing though Sam Donald his whole what he's best at is everything Trey Lance was awful at Tray Lance was not decisive and what you have to be

not just quarterback every position running back line everything in Shannon you have to be decisive as hell that's Sam Donald's whole problem was he was too decisive and everything he didn't know what to do. He couldn't put. Like, you know, he could hit the ball, but he couldn't. And that's kind of what Shanahan does teach you to do, is he, Shannon teaches you how to put.

And it's like teaching Darnold what to have the quick trigger on is everything Darnold's always needed. He went from the worst possible mentorship to the best possible mentorship. And also, what can Brock Party do? Donald can't do. I don't know. Donald's going to put. Dude, Sam Darnold does not have Dick Swagger. Let's be honest.

No. He's, what is the scatting report from bad? face. He's got negative, Dick Swagger. I don't know if that'll matter. So does Cam Newton as BDE and he's like, oh, we can't sign him because he's an alpha, but also, you know what? Once he can't throw anymore, then like no one wants to play with you.

It doesn't matter much BD. He was an MVP of the league. I know, and then he was out of the league. What are you talking about? We need to get, like, we need to get Brock Pretty on this show. I need to like see what's up, all right? Like, is this guy just like the second coming as a human being? Is he the most electric, charismatic person?

Are we all getting riszed up by Brock? I genuinely think he will either... What's so good about this guy? He'll be the Gary Barnish of quarterbacks and we'll always look back. Honestly, I think all the 49ers fans as soon as Donald starts playing are going to have post-knuck clarity and look back and be like, oh, my God, that was really embarrassing. How obsessed we were with that guy. It's like maybe it was related, the undefeated Purdy thing was related to getting Christian McCaffrey exactly at the same time. And anyone could have done that, maybe.

or he will be the quarterback for 20 years when seven Super Bowls and then be like the governor of California. If you saw a picture, Craig, if I gave you a picture of Nick Mullins and Brock Purdy and put them together and handed them to you, could you pick Brock Pretty out of the two?

Like, that's the lineup right there. Nick Mullins, I'm not going to say Jimmy G because he's gorgeous, but like just these like creative player quarterbacks for the Shanahan system. I honestly don't know if I could tell the difference between Nick Mullins and Brock Purdy. We had a listener email us that Brock Pretty came into Lulu Lemon and started buying clothes

and they didn't realize until 40 minutes in that he was an NFL quarterback. They had no idea because they were taller than him. I'm all in on the Darnel Express. I think it's awesome. I mean, it makes perfect sense. This guy's a top three pick. Like, this guy has the fucking talent. And Shanahan is the perfect person to mold you into a, you know, a real quarterback, a

productive player who doesn't need to, who doesn't have to be confronted with the decisions that like put you in bad situations. Also, if you're listening to me right now and just be like Sam Darnold, High Fitz, what are you talking about? I just wouldn't point out one thing. Sam Darnold is one year older than Kenny Pickett. The idea that we should give up on this dude is insane. That's all. I'm with it. Yeah. I can't wait to Zach Wilson plays for the 49ers in 2025. Yeah. Oh, don't get started. Craig, do you have a take perch? Again, this is half baked. I don't necessarily agree with this, but this is just the way I've been feeling this whole summer, and I haven't really said it.

I think running backs are the most important position in fantasy football, and we should go back to just only drafting running backs in the first round. I think we've kind of gone way too far with this zero RB thing. Just, oh, Justin Jefferson should be the first overall pick in the draft. I'm like, dude, I can get Deonti Johnson at like pick 80. What are you talking about? Derek Henry, Sequin Barclay, Chub, Pollard, Bejohn, Eckler, McCaffrey, all these guys should be going in the first round and you should not be taking

fucking Stefan Biggs over Sequin Barclay. I can get George Pickens, John Dotson in the 80s, in the eighth round. Meanwhile, there's like one million receivers. There's so many fucking receivers. I completely agree. I think I'm like back on running back, running back to start your draft.

Yes. I, I completely agree. I think that literally we were just like, well, last year we're like, oh, running backs, why do we take them? And then everyone's like, yeah, you're right. And they're like, all right, well, now we've gone too far. I could not be more on the same page. I kind of think the fact that Christian McCaffrey just can go forth sometimes, it just blows my mind.

Like every single year, the best player in fantasies are running back. And I'm like, yeah, you should just try and go for that. I know that wide receivers have a higher floor. But in my mind, it's like you've got to try to play to win, first or last. And if you nail two running, if you get Chubb and I don't know, Pollard in the first two rounds. Craig, that's exactly what I was going to say. If you get Chubb and Pollard, you feel like you just won the fucking lottery. If they play 17 games, like, you're in the finals.

Yeah. Just in your heart of hearts, that feels better than getting like a receiver. Rather than like, sure, you do whatever. You get Justin Jefferson and then you get, you know, Jalen Waddle in the second. And then you're running backs are like Cam Acres and Rashad White. And I'm like, I actually don't, I don't want to do that anymore. I'd rather just get two studs and hope they stay healthy. And if they don't, well, it's a lost year.

That's how it goes. Can I give you a take related to this? Like extremely related to this, Craig? Yeah. I need to purge this. I've been thinking of this for weeks and I should have said it a lot earlier and I'm just going to get better late than ever.

The players in the second round are better than the players in the first round. Just reverse them. They're just better. Like, next year we're going to take the second round we'll go first. Like, all right, Justin Jefferson will put him to the side. Otherwise, I love Christian McCaffrey,

health issues, whatever. Jamar Chase, Joe Burrow already hurt. Austin Eccler. The offense no longer revolves around dumping the bowl. off to Austin Eclere. Travis Kelsey, love him. Tyree Kill. Entire thing depends on Tua is staying healthy.

Cooper Cup. Is he alive? No one knows his whereabouts. Sequin, good. Stefan Diggs. Doesn't want to be on the Buffalo Bills anymore. Devante Adams might not want to be on the Raiders anymore. Like,

we're looking at these guys and I'm like, all these receivers that we put up to be safe, they're all kind of like weirdly, really risky and have like, they're kind of like a house of cards. Like, it's crazy to me that, like, Tua, it's like the least secure guy that we could possibly have upholding Tyreek Hill. And he's the safest of them all.

Like Cooper Cup, they didn't even want to play him in December? We don't know. The guys behind these guys, again, I'll give you Justin Jefferson, AJ Brown, C.D. Lamb, Jalen Waddle, Devante Smith, Garrett Wilson, Amon Ross Sabber. That sounds to me like the first five receivers next year after Jefferson and Chase. Like, all these dudes are better. The only difference is that they're just a little younger and a little less experienced. But it's like in two years, these will be the first round guys. Hyvitz, you're just like, you're like a guy who's been married for 30 years and you just went to the office and you're looking at your secretary.

And you're like, you know what? Maybe. No, it's a changing of the guard. Risk at all. Last year you made a good point, Craig, that you're like, there's going to be a changing of the guard at running back and like, you know. Yeah. It's usually a four year cycle with running backs. Yeah.

The same top five running backs, usually every four years they cycle out. And I think that we're in a lot at the longer end of a cycle with like some of these best receivers in the NFL. and I kind of think next year, you know how DeAndre Hopkins? We don't know what to do with him. Maybe that's a little harsh because all these guys are still really good. I think it's more. All their situations are odd. If Diggs and Devante don't like their teams,

that's kind of a red flag that DeVante was talking to the ringer this summer being like, yeah, I don't like what the front office is doing. We disagree. That's a wild thing to just say on the record in the middle of the summer. Stefan Diggs, like all these issues. I don't know. There's smoke and fire and then the Cooper Cups are. I totally agree, Craig.

I kind of think the only receivers you should be taking. It's Jefferson, Chase. I love Kelsey. And then otherwise, she'd be like seven running backs. And I'm like, just take the running backs, figure it out later. Just double up on our bees. I'm with it. Old school, baby.

Zag. All right, guys. I got something I got to say. Got to get it off my chest. Get in, losers. We're going back to the well. Kyle Pitts. Tight end.

Two. God, damn it. Here's the deal. What percent of you believes this? Yeah. A certain amount. Have you,

so you've seen Braveheart? You've seen Braveheart, right? Robert DeBruce. Very, he has a tough time making up his mind. Back and forth, back and forth. That's me. I'm like Robert the Bruce

at the very end of the movie Braveheart. All the dudes are just fucking tired and starving and beaten up and sad. They just lost William Wallace. And Robert the Bruce turns around. He goes, you have bled with Arthur Smith.

Now bleed with me. That's what I'm asking you guys. Bleed with me. We're going back to Kyle Pitts, baby. So what you're saying is, is you're getting your Kyle Pitts Vesectomy reverse. Snip-stap, snip, snap. Snip-stap.

I can't wait till next year. D.K. is going to retie the tubes. The emotional toll. When he's the tight end, 15. Do you know the emotional toll that takes? The Falcons? They're going to funnel their passing game through these two players, Pitts in London.

There's a scenario in which Desmond Ritter is actually good. Did you guys watch Marcus Marietta in the preseason? I don't understand how he was a starting quarterback. It's horrific. Much of last year. He was literally like way worse than their fifth round rookie Tanner McKee for the Eagles. He couldn't hit anything. Nerve injury in his throwing arm for five years.

Like it's not his fault. That's just, okay. That actually makes me feel better for saying he can't throw an accurate pass. I mean, it was really, really bad. Cal Pitts is too big to fail. We're getting back on this bus. He is younger than the rookie tight ends that have gone in the draft this year.

So I think about that a lot. I just had to get that out there. I feel better. I'll bleed with me. When this take purge ends, do you think there will be remnants of this take still within you when you're drafting this weekend? Or is this truly a take purge only thought?

The latter. Well, I have a falcons-related one. I have a falcons related one actually to both. of these touches the Falcons and running backs. You're on the clock. And again, I'm like, oh, running backs look good. And look at Bejan Robinson. And I'm like, you know what?

The intrusive thought is, I'm like, I kind of think Tyler Al Jir might just have more rushing yards than Bejohn Robinson. Just have more. There's something here. I can't remember where I saw, but I'm like, someone thinks that there's a real strong chance they just use Bejohn Robinson in like the receiving game. And like, Al Jira is the actual runner.

I mean, I love how Arthur Smith drafted Kyle Pitts, and we were all excited for how they were going to use him, and then we were incredibly disappointed. Two years later, they draft another first round stud player, and we're all excited for how they're going to use him. Once again, we haven't learned our lesson. Arthur Smith is trying to tell us who he is, and we're not listening.

Exactly. And again, I think, again, the actual real life Atlanta Falcons might run one of the most interesting offenses we've ever seen. We always talk about running backs in the slug. They actually are the most interchangeable offense of like the 24th century. Positionless football. Kyle Pitts and Jonu Smith, who are like the two most, you know, athletes among athletes of tight end.

You've got Corderole Patterson, who again, actually can be running back. The only player has actually done both jobs, Bijan who can do both. And then I'm looking at Algeria. I'm like 1,000 yards last year. I mean, Josh Kettle, who athletic beat writer for the Falcons, I think he listens to the show sometimes. He projected Bejohn of 10 carries. Algear to have 170.

That's not the country. gap I want to see, guys. 2.10 is what he projected? He literally wrote in the column, too, is funny. He's like, half the people reading in this are like, he won't get that many and the other half are like, why would he get so few? And he's like, well, that's kind of how, you know.

Yeah. In real life, I think what's going to happen is the Falcons are going to go like 11 and 6. Win the NFC South, make the NFC championship game. Arthur Smith will win coach of the year.

And then we're going to be in fantasy land being like, why isn't Bijan playing more? In goal line situations. I hate it. What a loser. He just cares about winning. Loser. I mean,

he's the new Kyle Shaddenhan. We fucking hate him. But he's like great coach. It makes the Super Bowl. He's a terrible coach. He was too busy winning. Yeah. Like the disdain Arthur Smith has for fantasy is like super deserved.

We do not give any shits about the Falcons winning games. All we care about is amusing Bijon. And I'm like, you know what? Also, Tyler, he's got juice now. got a documentary on Roku and everything. Tyler Al Jir does? I know, right? What are the odds of that?

Isn't that crazy? What is it about? All right. It's about Tyler Ljir. I don't know. You think I clicked on it? It just was on the Roku homepage with the little weird city they have there for some reason.

We're getting out of control with these documentaries, I got to say. We're making docs for people who haven't turned 30 yet. There should be a rule. No doc until you're past 30. It should be even 40. Like the Hall of Fame rule. We're making a Johnny Manzell doc. He literally's my age.

He played in the CFL like last year. Why are we making a documentary about him? We're making a Brock Purdy, Doc. At least Johnny Mansell was famous 10 years ago. Tyler Alger isn't, I don't know if he'll be famous 10 years from now. I'm going to have to assume Tyler Algear financed that documentary. I'm not sure he had a lot of investment in that. I think BYU financed it.

Just saying, you know what? Maybe take Tyler Lgear 120th and get like 80% of Bijon. Get ready for the NFL season with incredible offers from Fandul, America's number one sports book right now. New customers can bet $5 and get $200 in bonus bets guaranteed. Plus all customers who bet $500. NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV. Steelers to win the AFC North.

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All right. Who do we got next? I think Alexander's Madison is going to be a top 10 running back this year. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills with Alexander Madison. The story for three years was that Madison, the most elite handcuff in the league. And if Delvin Cook ever went down, Alexander Madison would become an elite RB1. Well, Delvin Cook's gone. And nobody is considering this man on elite RB1.

or really even an RB2. Over the last two seasons, Dalvin Cook has missed four games and in those games, Madison scored 19 and a half fantasy points a game, which would have made them the number one running back in fantasy football last year. I rest my case.

Do you remember in Superbad? If you're with kids, maybe pause this, but you probably shouldn't have had to take part of John with the kids anyway. Do you remember in Superbad? Yeah, that's on you. Yeah, it was super bad when he's like talking about what kind of porn he watches. And he's like, I just, I need some dick.

Like, you ever seen a vagina on its own? Not for me. It's like Alex Madison. Like, I need a little Dalvin Cook, but like, dude, Alex Madison on its own. Like, that's been the reaction for everybody this year. It's like, ah, ooh. Except when, as like, so Dalvin Cook just needs to be on the bench with a knee brace on and everybody then feels good about Alexander Madison.

You're right in that when Dalvin Cook got cut by the Vikings, every fantasy analyst was like, ooh. And then like kind of went into their spreadsheets for three days and came out. It was like, I actually think it kind of sucks. and the opinion never changed. It doesn't make sense. It's so fantasy brain. It's such a classic way to analyze players.

It's like when you love a handcuff, but then when they get the full-time role, you're like, I actually no longer care about you. It's like fucking Andy from Toy Story dropping the toy the second Alexander Madison became the starter. Again, the difference is between Tony Pollard and Madison

because those are the two guys, is that Tony Pollard was on a per touch basis, like literally the best running back in the NFL, no matter how many touches he would get. And then Madison was just like accruing fantasy points with a ton of carries with 20 carries, but it wasn't like Madison in games he got like eight carries

was still getting like 70 yards. It was just like if you got the start against the bad run. That is the why, but you're right to the point where, but that's priced it. And Tony Powell said, yeah, take him 12th,

10th, whatever. And Madison, you're like, yeah, 55th, we don't know. Like, I'm just sitting here looking at Joe Mixing and I'm looking at Alexander Madison. I'm like, what is the difference between these two pictures?

It's the same picture. Corporate wants you to find. Literally nothing in fantasy football feels better though than thinking about the RB2 on any team. Like, that guy's just better. It just feels right.

I know. They always say, like, the back of quarterback's the best job, like Blue Mountain State. The fantasy football version is like Jerome Ford on the grounds. Dude, love that guy. Well, it's like,

it's like human nature. No, we cannot be happy with where we are. The grass is always greener. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Well, also, do you know, how much of this do you think just comes down to, like,

breaking news? Like, you know, we didn't exactly evolve to, like, find good fantasy football players. We evolved to, like, find shelter and find, like, I don't know, rocks that we could use for hunting.

And it's like, I just, at some point, like, finding Jerome Ford is like, just taps into some part of your primal DNA of like, hey, I found this cool looking rock on the ground, guys. Look at this. It's like, I just found it. That's where we are. Yeah, it's just the waiver wire. Yeah. I'm just so convinced that, like, you know, it's like, I always say that if billionaires were good looking, like they would have never been billionaires because they would have no purpose. Yeah.

Yeah, they wouldn't have to work hard. And I'm just so convinced that in fantasy football analysis, like, there is no. upside in touting Alexander Madison. He's boring. He was a backup who's now a starter. There's like nothing in it for you. There's no sexiness. There's no appeal. And so talking about Duce Vaughn and Ty Chandler and Tai Jeter Spears, like that's the stuff that's going to get the headline. So you go for it, even though it's the exact wrong take. Jalen Warren? Jalen Warren? I know. I almost had it. I almost, I'm not going to do this, but my take purchase almost like, because I don't think it's that hot, but I was like, Jailen Warren's going to be

irrelevant this year. Like he's just going to get like five touches in game and be fine. I feel like that's actually pretty good. He's going to score four points a game. The larger thing we're dancing around here is like all the running backs are going to be healthy and all the three down guys are going to stay to three down guys and all the receivers are going to get hurt. But it's like Naji, Harris and Alex Madison, all the running backs will be fine. And we're overreacting to a couple of like running back injuries the past couple years.

And you know what? Probably should have just taken them. I like this. It's like 2008 again in this take purge right now. We're just like starting RB, RBRB in the first three rounds. The Danian Tomlinson is the best player in the league. I'm not touching a receiver until round five. I love it.

Along those notes, along that notes, along that note, on that note. Along those lines. Yeah, along those lines. Little nostalgia pick here. Russell Wilson top five this year in fantasy football. Stop. You can't stop. No way.

This is actually a great take and I'm jealous that I didn't have this. This is a really good take. Did you debate top 10, top seven? I can't believe you went to top five. I would have respected you with top 10. I actually wrote top seven and then I was afraid that that wasn't strong enough. No, this is, I'm jealous of this, D.K. I want to hear your reasoning.

But like my immediate reaction is if we just covered up, like in any scenario, you're like, hey, this person thing, whatever team finished top 10 every year ever. And then one year, like, they were bad. What do you think is going to happen next? I don't know. They'll probably be good again. Yeah. So here's the deal. Peter King wrote in a recent call.

him. And you can see it. Russell Wilson has lost like 20 pounds. He's down to 212 pounds. He looks sveled. There was a, he had a couple of scrambles in the preseason where he looked, I wouldn't say his old self, but he definitely looked really quick compared to what we've seen in recent seasons. I think he's going to scramble way more this year because that's who he is. He's trying, like for a couple of years here, he was trying to be like Drew Breeze or whatever, like drop back, sit in the pocket and do his thing. I think at his core, who he really is, is a out of structure, scramble,

you know, get out and do his thing, avoid the pass rush, and do all that stuff. If you go back, just three seasons, 2020, he passed for 4,000 yards, which is only 250 yards per game if he's playing 16 games, and he

rushed for 513 yards, and most of that was on scrambles. Guess what? He finished as the QB8 that year. 22 points per game. If he did that this last year, he would have been the QB4. This is incredible take, DK. Also, when you say Drew Breeze, just to add context to that. That's not like, oh, he wanted to be Drew Brees. He really is, like, obsessed with Drew Brees. He calls Drew Brees all the time.

Like, Russell's obsessed with your breeze. He calls him at home and he's like, how'd you get my number? Yeah. It's true. Why are you calling me, man? We've never met. But it's true. It's like a movie where it's like you need to go to the source. Like, who's better to tell Russell Wilson, hey, like Sean Payton actually going to, don't be Drew Brees. You need to be yourself, man. Just puts the cougar in his car and everything. So, like, we make fun of Russell Wilson and, like, we have to because he brings it upon himself. But at the same time, like, if you know, like, if you followed him over the years, he is, like, maniacal worker. You know what I mean? Like, he is locked in. And I think after this year

of basically everyone thinking he sucks, he's going to be especially motivated. He's got that chip back to prove the daughter's wrong. Can you go up from 19 hours of rehab on a plane, though? 19 hours a day? Can you increase from there? I mean, look, we make fun of that, but like, that is truly. who he is. He's like, I'm going to put in the freaking time to get better and to get back to where I was. Again, this is a guy who for like 10 years was one of the most exciting quarterbacks in the NFL and a very good fantasy quarterback because he runs and because he scrambles around. I'm not even expecting them to use design run stuff. I think they did use a design like keeper play for him in the preseason though. So like, you know, I'm, I'm not expecting

a thousand yards rushing, but 500 yards rushing. And you get like a Daniel Jones type situation where he doesn't even have to pass for that many yards because he's getting so many yards on rushing and all that. So I don't know, man. Russell Wilson, come back to her. It's happening. I can't get the ick out of my head of watching Russell Wilson last year in the Denver offense. It was so gross that it's so hard for me to come around on this.

Like, Russell has such a try-hard energy. And when you're try-hard guy and you're, yeah, but it works. It's okay when you're good. But the second you can come try-hard guy and suck. You know, like on every high school basketball team, there's like the 12th man on the team who's like the first guy at practice and the last guy to leave and he's like outrunning everybody on suicides and he sweats the most but when he's actually like on the core playing basketball he's still pretty bad that's like kind of how I feel about

Russell Wilson now and it's hard for me to look past it I think that's exactly why it's a great take which is DK's basically fading the ick and it's kind of like Kirk Cousins where you're like I don't want him as Kirk Cousins he's got a club he's doing the glow up this year man it's like I don't know it feels like he's bad he lost 20 pounds yeah he looks really thin like he honestly does look pretty good. He was stocky. He was pretty meaty for a while. So he did this every year, Craig.

Going back to the Seahawks era, I feel like he changed his body composition literally every offseason, which again, kind of points to his work ethic. There was different reasons for it every year. Like, oh, I need to be, I need to be more durable or whatever. So he'd gain like 20 pounds. There was always talk about thick rest during the off season. And at his best, truly, early on in his career, when he was like 205, 210 pounds, and he was running all over the place.

And I'm hoping that's what we get this year. How much money do you guys think Russell Wilson spends a year on like altitude training the second he got to Denver? Over a million. There's no way that guy isn't like in the 1% of people in the world studying like how to control your breathing in altitude. Yeah. I would believe that also I think it's really heartwarming that at the beginning of last season all the Seahawks fans were like Russ is going to suck. But now at the end all the Seahawks fans are like coming back around to him like they got he's still our guy. Like you guys

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's really sweet actually. Also, I just like, Hy Fitz you said it, but like,

I have a hard time believing he just all of a sudden sucks. You know what I mean? Like, he was so good for so long. Yeah. I don't think he's going to be like who he was earlier in his career. Like there is an age curve in terms of like performance.

But I don't think he sucks. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think he's terrible now. The only thing is like he's going to be 35 in November. And what is the track record of like 35 year old? scrambling quarterbacks actually like being productive on the ground. What's the track record of 510 quarterbacks?

What's the track record of people who are actually obsessed with tracking down Tom Brady playing until 45? Like among people who have just talked about playing until 45 among 30 years old, like he did it. Bill's just Tom Brady. And also you haven't been able to get Russell Wilson outside the top 80 or 90 picks in a draft since like 2012. That was like the last time he wasn't like the top 100 pick basically.

It's an elite zag. It's in a lead sag. Yeah, to be clear, don't like reach for Russell Wilson and take him really high in his draft. No, but you're right. 130th, 140th is your backup quarterback? And it was like, oh, Russell Wilson. I'm like, you could get like, again, you could get like DAC or Anthony Richardson, whoever you want and just take Russell Wilson at the end.

And you might just have it. I think that's brilliant. Also, Sean Payton doesn't give a fuck. Like, he turned Taseum Hill into something. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think he has all these worries that he needs to like protect Russell Wilson long term. I think he's just going to simply do what work. works well this year.

And throughout Russell Wilson's career, like having him be a part of the running game has worked really well. So I don't know. There's kind of like two scenarios. I feel like it's like the Broncos go 12 and 5 and Russ is back. Or like Jared Stidham is starting by week five. Right. Right.

Michael and Varty said that the other day. He thinks like Russell Wilson's going to get benched. It's like, okay. Well, that would definitely ruin my take, but I'm still sticking with it. I have something I'd like to get off my chest.

I have something I'd really like to purge. Let's hear it. Please. I think Catarras Tony's going to be healthy this season. We've warmed down. Hell yes. He has this. This is an intrusive thought 100%.

It'll be pretty good. Yeah. You need to be exercised, man. What is inside you? I can't believe this. I just, I don't know. It's like, exercise the demons.

I don't know. It's, I was pretty upset about it. You know, you guys had him like 78th and I'm like, why don't you guys calm the the fuck down? Got hurt. First practice. And I'm like, all right. 120th.

So it was a pretty good pick. to me. Might get him on my team. It's super reasonable. It might be really good. I have a question. I love it. Somebody in our Reddit AMA yesterday, I think asked this. I don't know if he answered, got to it, but if he's healthy, like what is realistically

where is Cadarious Tony going to end up? Who else do we say that about all month? Who else have he said that exact sentence? Michael Thomas. I think he should just be like, yeah, wherever he put Michael Thomas, Tony's funny. Like a top 12 receiver? He'll play. Yeah.

He can be like top 20 if he plays. Like Michael Thomas, Tony, like, the opposite ends of the Benjamin button spectrum, but they're kind of been on the same journey for the last three years. Our obsession with Cadarious Tony, if we're talking about purge, purging from our soul, our obsession with Cadarious Tony is ridiculous.

He can't even run routes. Like, he's just like, physically or mentally or both. No, like physically he's like not a good, he's not a good route. He's like barely a receiver. He barely played receiver in college. He was essentially just like an offensive weapon.

And then he came in. The Giants were like, fuck this guy. We got to get rid of him. Also, don't forget. Our obsession with him is pretty ridiculous. A thing that does not get talked about enough is that the first Giants practice he showed up, he didn't have cleats that fit. Like he didn't, he wasn't wearing shoes.

Like, because he had signed some brand deal and then the brand gave him the wrong size. So he was running routes and socks the first day of Giants camp. And they were like, do you want shoes? Probably still breaking ankles. just chaos walking. I mean, he probably was, honestly. Well, I think the Chiefs is to get him in the right shoes. I don't know.

It's hard to ignore. It truly is hard to ignore. I know that hype is hype and sometimes it's total bullshit. But like the stuff that the Chiefs players and coaches were saying this offseason about how they see them as their number one receiver. Well, that was fake. I don't feel like they would say that if they really thought that was like a bullshit. I think they would.

I think one of the very important. But the expectation, you're setting expectations. I read the full quote. No, that's not it. The full quote, the thing that the offseason quotes, that the most important, there's two buckets. There are things people say unprompted, and there are things people say prompted.

Oh. Yeah, yeah. If you have to find the full quote, and if it says, that's a great question. That means the question was, do you think Cadrace Tony could be the number one receiver of the chief? What are they going to say? No.

You'd say, oh, yeah, Cadarist Tony could totally be the number one receiver of the chiefs because they're media trained to repeat the question for television. Like, if you ever watch 60 minutes, people don't speak in complete sentences. Like, they repeat the question. And then they're like, yeah, and then they talk about good he is. And like, anyway. No, that's fair. That's fair.

Having said that, yeah. The show's kind of like 60 minutes, you know? It's kind of like the modern version of it, really. All right, Craig, you got a take purge for us here? Yeah, I actually have a take that stays in Kansas City. I think the chiefs are going to miss the playoffs. And. One second.

Oh, boy. I think the chiefs have gotten way too cute with this. We don't care about wide receiver strategy. And it's going to bite them in the end. ass this year and Travis Kelsey's going to pull a hamstring in week four and they're going to stink offensively. I, you know what? I had the same, I had the same thought, but I didn't even go far enough.

You're so right where it's like what would happen to the Chiefs again, because I think we all can agree that Travis Kelsey is going to get hurt this year because I've said about 1,400 times that Travis Kelsey hasn't missed a game to injury. How many times have you said it? You truly probably like pushing 40 times. You said that exact line. I just think it's incredible that they're like, he's 34. And I'm like, okay, the people younger than him have all missed fucking time last year.

But he's going to get hurt, obviously, because I've said that so much. So, yeah, if he got hurt, like, what the hell would they do? Like, let's say Tony also is hurt. Well, they also have like... They're just fucking around with our offensive line every offseason too. But at least the line, like, they have real blue chip talent. Like, this group is made of fiberglass. We all like Justin Ross as a very talented player.

The defining trade of Justin Ross is having three different reasons he might not be able to play football. Like the last three years, Kadar is Tony, who like basically is the same thing. Sky Moore, Valdez Gantling, like Rishie Rice, who's like dropping every pass in the preseason. Oh, God. This is a good take thing.

He's like Bill Simmons, where if he gets hit by a bus, everyone else is fucked. You know what I mean? Like, it ain't going to work. The ship isn't going to sail forward. If Travis Kelsey goes down, all of us running around on the team, Rashi Rice and Marquez Zadezano Scanling, having a good time running route so Travis Kelsey's winning Super Bowls.

I'm actually MBS. I'm envious in this fucking analogy. I'm Richie James. Mike Caderis, Tony, we're all just the people we hate the most. They flew too close to the sign. No, I think Craig is you're really right. The Chargers are going to go 12 and 5 and the Chiefs are going to miss the playoffs. It's so true.

You know what it's kind of like? It's kind of like how the Packers, it's not the same exact, but it's kind of like how the Packers said Aaron Rogers. Oh, sick. We'll just invest on defense for a decade. And Rogers got it. The chiefs, they, so, like, so overcorrected from the Buck's Chief Super Bowl by putting all their money in offense only into Mahomes in the line. And, like, even Kelsey is like, dude, Kelsey does, does, Kelsey makes less money than Christian Kirk.

And, like, you know, Kelsey. Yeah, he really gets fucked with the whole positional value thing. That makes $12 million a year. Like, they made their point, you know, like, they won the Super Bowl without Tyree Kill. Now, go get a receiver. What are we doing here? We get it. He did it.

Like, dude, it's not McGiver. You don't have to like, fucking, you could buy an actual item. You don't have to build it out of fucking paperclips. Spent, get a goddamn circuit break. On that, I think you're so right, Craig. And similarly, I think the Patriots are going to win the AFC East. Oh, no. Just outright.

And I think that by Halloween, Bill Simmons is going to be on his podcast. And Bill is going to be talking about how Mack Jones is the best quarterback from the 2021 class, including Trevor Lawrence. Hyvin Fitz is just trying to get another invite back on the BS Pius. Yeah, was I promised a promotion, maybe. This was a career move from Hartford's. This is contrived.

Business decision. Yeah. He's riding too high off the fucking Jets prediction. The Aaron Rogers' Jeff's prediction. Again, I almost, it's hard to like quantify the impact of Matt Patricia. Like, we've never seen anything like this. A guy in charge of an offense.

who's never been in charge of an offense before. He installed an offense he had never run. And we don't talk about this part enough. Matt Patricia installed the McVeigh-Shanhanan system. When McVean-Shanhan gave up on it and went back to what the Patriots were doing because that was working better. And Patricia is so slow that he gave up on what McVean-Shannon were doing that they were already running.

He was like, oh, we're going to do the other thing that isn't working anymore. And then installed it wrong. And then Mac Jones is like, what was he doing? Calling Alabama in August being like, this shit isn't going to work. What the fuck? Guess what? You know who is running the offense now? Bill O'Brien.

The guy who was calling. Yeah, the four division titles in Houston went to Alabama and learned the offense that Mack Jones threw 4,500 yards at in 13 games in Alabama. Mac Jones was a borderline a Heisman candidate at Alabama when he was quarterback.

That's the offense. They're doing in New England now. It's going to be Bill O'Brien, who, again, I'm not saying this is literally true, but I really wonder about the gap between Bill O'Brien and Patricia and Patricia to us. Because at least we would have listened to other people and been like, we don't know what we're doing.

Patricia had known he was doing, but he didn't accept that. That plus they have the best defensive line they've had in a decade. And I'm like, yeah, sure. Also, they have a great defense. You probably mentioned that, but they should have a really strong defense. Yeah, this is a suck-up take. Max Jones is like the 31st quarterback off the board.

I mean, you can talk yourself into all this, right? You can be like, Tua, that whole situation, Tua gets hurt. The Josh Allen offense is like one bad year from kind of cratering, and you could argue that they've already peaked and the Stefan Diggs thing. And then the Jets, you know, they have no offensive line. Aaron Rogers is not going to have any time to throw and the offense spirals. I can see it.

I got to take you guys. Hit me. Okay. The Josh Harris, Joe Buck, handshake in that Ravens' commanders game, I was fine. Wasn't that weird? This is a normal thing. Explain this for people who don't know what you're talking about.

It was Joe Buck's fault. Like, if you fucking stick your hand out towards me, I'm going to shake it. It was fine. It wasn't that weird. Find a new sland. Explain it. DK.

Explain it. for people who don't know. All right. So Josh Harris, the new owner of the commanders, was up in the booth with Joe Buck and Troy Akeman during a, it was Monday night football, I think, for a preseason. And essentially Buck was like, it was when we were all in D.C.

Yeah. And they had the TV, they had the camera on in the studio. And Joe Buck was like explaining something. He like put his hand out. And so Josh Harris just reflexively shook it, even though Joe Buck was not going for a handshake. And everybody just fucking just,

laid into Harris for like the most awkward situation of all time. Joe Buck was clearly trained where you like have those like stiff hands and as you make points. You kind of like move your hands left and right and kind of like open them up as if you're kind of in handshake position. But you're just like trying to articulate a point. My take is Joe Buck left him out to try. He stepped on his head when he was drowning. He could have just been like, oh, sorry, man. I wasn't actually doing it like in.

That's a point of it. So Joe Buck pulling away is a decision. Also related way. Like, why are you touching me? We saw this at dinner, and we were with shout at Elizabeth Fearman who helped us with our live show. Yeah. And I show you guys this video, and Elizabeth was like, wait, D.K. did this to the combine. I went.

Elizabeth and I went for a fist pump. And D.K., like lizard brain kicked in and thought it was for him, but then also got the wires. And you just grabbed her hand, though, like it was a handshake, but she had a fist. So it looked like you were doing like a stick shift at a car. and we all just sat there and stunned silence and then like walked away. It's like in Superbed when Michael Serra accidentally punches the girl in the boob. Yes. Like truly, Craig, I, if you, again, this is why I'm actually defending Josh Harris.

If you stick your hand out towards me, I'm going to shake your hand. As if you're going for a hand sheet. You do this all the time. I like this. And then like, and then I shook her hand and then Hyphus put his hand on top of mine. and I looked at our hands and I just go, ah, like it was like the most awkward thing ever. By the way, like, I think that was the first time I met Elizabeth.

It was like not someone I knew very well. I like this out of DK. DK should be the spokesperson for all awkward handshake interactions. It was fine. Find a new slant. Stop making fun of them. Handshakes are hard. There's too many now.

All right. I have something I want to get off my chest. They are hard. In this generation. There's too many options now. There's like four different kinds of daps. It's like the palm one that you slide into the fingers. There's just the straight palm.

There's the slide into the knuckle touch. There's the slide that you bring into the half hug. There's a great handshake. It's a skill. You have to know what's going on. He just can't read the room. It's all right. He's old.

He's got things going on. Shut up. If you stick your hands towards me, I'm going to shake it. That's why dad should stick out the hands. Cert dominance. Like you're doing it my way. I'm just saying it's Joe Bucks's fault. Joe Buck fucking, he really, he left him out to try there.

D.K. actually did need to get this off his chest. Like, that actually looked cathartic for DK. I have one thing I want to talk. I have a take. I would like to purge. Let's hear it. I think that Colts owner Jim Ursay is right. I would not pay Jonathan Taylor, but I would pay $20 million to save the whale. Absolutely. I agree. This is the only, this is the only thing Jim Mersey's ever done right, and I stand by it. He's an environmentalist. And he tried, save the whales. It's more important than anything going on in the football field.

Oh, my God. The tank the whale was in was extremely small. It's a very small tank. It's like a human being trapped in like a closet if you were built to roam for hundreds of miles every day. It's inhumane. And you know what, Jim Merce is just trying to like, you know, make the world a better place. There should be a whale tax for NFL owners. For every season, they need to pluck a whale from captivity.

For every season they don't move a whale They get If you don't make the playoffs You need to release a whale from captivity It's like a carbon tax Oh my god That's good On that note I also like a related

I don't take just a purge It's just a question Why aren't people get mad When billionaires spend money on weird shit Like it's like oh Jim Mercer You're gonna spend $20 million in the whale It's the whole point of being a billionaire But also, more importantly, what do you want them to do?

Keep the money? Like, oh, no, they bought a $400 million. Yeah. Okay, as opposed to keeping the $400 million. They spent it. They put it back into the economy. Highfitts is big on trickle down. Yeah.

I'm just saying more. Yes, I'm saying more billionaire should spend money. Buy weird shit. Put it back into the world. Bezos needs to spend more of his fucking money. Yeah. Bezos? Yeah.

Bezos. Bezos. Sorry. Bezos. Bezos. Bezos. Bezos. Bezos.

Bezos. Bezos. Bezos. I have a weird inability to say billionaire's names I always call Elon Musk Ellen Musk for some reason Like I don't know

I say these fucking guys' names Like generous? Ellen Musk Because you only read them It is It truly is Because I only read them Ellen Musk

Yeah I don't I mean I usually just call him Musk I feel like but yeah But because you're afraid Of getting the name wrong though I love this out of high fits

Pro billionaire spending Hivitz Do you think they should be taxed or no, fuck it? They earn that money. It's theirs. I just like, you know what? If Jimerson wants to get to $20 million, like, you know what? It's probably easier to get them to spending money on weird shit than getting their money taxed.

Like, I don't know. Let them get to save the will. Sure. Why are we shaving them? Remember Tom's shoes, which I'm pretty sure now has been like exposed as like fraudulent? I haven't seen those for a long time. Yeah. Remember the whole thing with Tom's?

It was like if you bought a pair of Tom's, they would supply a pair of shoes to kids in Africa. But apparently it was bad for like the company of Africa because it was. or something? No, I think it was like ruining all of the, all of the, like, the African businesses is because, like, there was just all these excess Tom shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then there was no shoe businesses in Africa. D-Kagan just got his shoe controversies mixed up, which was funny. No, I was kidding. But yeah, yeah. I mean, like, it's always this shit, like downstream. You don't know what's,

you don't expect that. Like, you don't think about happening. The model of buy one, give one. I think there should be something there with billionaires. It's like, if you want to buy a yacht, you then have to release a whale. Like, there's a little. limit. There's a threshold. If you want to spend over a certain amount of money on anything,

you need to spend an equal amount of money. And then the whales are going to teach each other to go hit those yachts with their head. You can have a leash on the whale on the yacht and you can ride around with the whale like it's your dog. Jeff Bezos wants to bury a 500 foot clock in the middle of the desert to count to like a million or some shit. Yeah, sure, dude, whatever you want. Oh my God. Free some whales. Whatever you want. Just like clean up the oil spills. All right.

Who's good? Also, the billionaires are just billionaires because they're not hot is incredible. I've never thought about that, Greg. Oh, 100%. That's the only, yeah. I mean, the funny thing about it is every single billionaire, the second they become billionaires, they all just become like a popular 18-year-old in high school. And they just like get ripped.

They date the hottest girl in school. And they start partying. Bezos released that video from standing on a windmill with like a drone and sunglasses. Yeah. It's like, you know why Bezos stepped down as CEO of Amazon? Because he's a fucking billionaire and wants to hang out. with like celebrities and party on yachts. He built a fucking spaceship that looks like a dick,

so he'd go to space by himself. Yeah. Have you seen the spaceship? It looks just like a dick. It does. It does look like a day. There is a 0% chance if Jeff Bezos look like Chris Hemsworth that Amazon would be a company today.

Zero percent chance. Yeah. What if Ryan Reynolds turns into a billionaire? Then you're fucked. This whole thing is going to be bath. That would be hotness has never been more profitable. Exactly. Ryan Reynolds and all these guys just know how to capitalize.

I feel like Ryan Reynolds is close. He's got to be getting close to being a billionaire. He's got Mint Mobile he just sold for a ton of money. I'm going to look up this network. On this note, on this note, I actually have a take about hotness. Okay. Jalen Hertz is hotter than Jimmy Garoppolo. Yeah, this isn't even a hot take.

This is not a hot take. Okay, good. I'm glad we agree. I don't have anything to say. I feel like this is a pretty commonly held opinion. We should poll the people on that. I'd love to know. We should do an official who is the hot.

hottest quarterback in the league poll. Who's top four? So if we did four people, there at Mount Rushmore to vote on, we have Hertz, we have Jimmy. Who else makes the cut? I think we have to put Brady there just for like a check-in. Now, he's played, no one's going to vote for him. He's out of the league. I think we go with like, is Burrow good-looking?

I think, yeah. I think that would be what people consider good-looking. I don't know. He's cool. Yeah. I'm trying to think of who else it is. I thought Cam was good-looking, but he's out of the league. Yeah. Is, no, what's his name?

Justin Herbert, he's kind of goofy looking at his name. No. No. I don't know who else is up there. Like, who's three and four on this list? If there were tears, there's a big tear drop after Hertz and Carapola. Do you backers count or do they have to be a starter? Is good looking?

I don't think so. Dude, with the hair status right now, his hair is a mess. I think, I think he's pretty. good looking. I think personality also factors in. I think Burrow might make the cut just because he's cool and people like him. Right. Yes. He's got BDE as this Jalen hurts. But Jimmy does not.

Jimmy does not have BD.E. Dude, what would Trevor Lawrence look like if you got a haircut? That's what I want to know. I think that they will win the Super Bowl as soon as he cuts his hair. It's like Samson but the opposite. Getting back to Ryan Reynolds, I think his net worth is like 350 mil. So he's got a way to go. Ways

to go. Yeah, I mean, somebody like like the rock or something, maybe we'll get there one day. If Vin Diesel keeps making Fast and Furious movies. Jay Z is a billionaire. Also, the way that it's calculated now is I know, who knows? Dubious. Also, wait, you mentioned Rogers. I actually have I have Rogers takes, but we put that to them.

Go with Rogers take. I have two. I don't think Ryan Rogers will be good until he starts doing drugs again. How do you know he's not doing drugs? How do we know he's not? Well, I think he's doing like drugs, but I need like the ayahuasca. Like the ayahuasca we found out about last year? He needs to go on a vision quest. Yeah.

Well, no, he did the Iowa. He told the story, but he did the ayahuasca in 2020 before he won both MVPs. Like, he did the ayahuasca, and then he won the two MVPs. He needs to do it again. So does it as a two-year, two-year shelf life, Iwaska? Yeah. I think if you do psychedelics, it sounds about right. Like, I'm just saying, if you did a legal substance and then won two MVPs after having, like, a mental clarity breakthrough, do it again, man.

Go to go back to Peru. Some of these quotes that you're seeing from Aaron Rogers out of Jets training camp in preseason are pretty wild. Have you guys seen some of these? Like he has reached a new plane of happiness. He's just talking about how much he loves his team. He's like waking up in a dream. He said some quote where he's like, I feel like I'm in a dream right now and like just goes really deep into like how happy he is and stuff.

He's clearly just like sticking it to Green Bay. He's like really like accepting this like father figure role of like the old guard, the wise man, who's like teaching all the young kids. Yeah. On that note, what's the other take? Again,

intrusive thought. Like, this is just the thing I've been thinking about, honestly, for seven months. I really want to do a darkness retreat.

It sounds so interesting. Let's do it. Let's do a darkness retreat as a pod. Honestly, I know everyone makes fun of it, and I'm like, yeah, yeah,

and I made fun of it. Like, no part of you, kind of like, I wonder what that be like. Oh, listen, the whole Aaron Rogers, Shailene Woodley, like lifestyle, I've said this before, but I'm like, every year I live, I get closer and closer to just, like,

being those people. I want to fucking live in Hawaii and, like, go off to grid and shit. I want to, like, make my own soap and, like, drink river water. Yeah, maybe I should get my copper from, like, eating clay. Oh, my God. Okay, wait. I have one more football-related take that I need to purge.

And again, remember, the rules, the parameters of this, of this hour of this take purge is that these are consequence-free takes. We may not even necessarily believe these things. Okay. I think snake drafting is better than auction drafting. Yes. Hell yes. You know what I like about it? I like that you can prep and you can mock draft.

which you can't do for auction. It takes two hours and not seven. Right. And it's honestly just less random. Auction feels like everybody's trying to play tag with a blindfold on. And eventually, you know, you end up touching somebody. You don't know why.

You don't know how it happened. It's like post-strategy auction drafting. It's like you prepare all options. It's like Calvin Ball. And then you step into the, yeah, you step into the octagon and just anything is up for grabs. Anything is possible. All of your prep goes right out the window.

You're like a monkey banging cymbals. when we went on Simmons the other day I was trying to think of a good analogy that you know because he loves basketball he always talks about basketball and makes basketball that guy he's famously a basketball fan so I was like doing auction drafts

is like if you're like hey you want to go play hoops and then you get to the court and they're like oh but by the way you can only throw left handed from three quarter court and you only get three shots hoops yeah all a different height this is a completely fucking different game Like I don't want to play this game.

I want to play basketball. I'm going to play the thing I've been doing my whole fucking life. I don't want to play some new game. I like auction drafts, salary cap drafts, whatever we're calling them now. I like them. I will say this. What I want to ask Bill is, because here's the thing. If you don't do them, they take forever to do hours.

You have to draft every fucking player. You do need to schedule four hours for it. And here's my thing. Now that I'm like older and the friends. in my life have lives. My question is, if you can't schedule that on the Tuesday or Wednesday right before the season, which Bill always does, I don't know anymore once you're in your late 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond how you can schedule a four-hour time block at the end of the summer, right when school's starting people have kids. It's impossible. It just feels like a lot of

adult, man. You need four hours. Like, it is, it is a nightmare to schedule two. The idea of scheduling four feels impossible, but women are better at scheduling things. Women are too smart to oxygen draft. Women are doing snake because it takes two hours. You get in, you get out. Again. It's so daunting. I don't actually believe that but I kind of do. You're no booger eater, Craig. My oldest fantasy football league,

one of the guys had a baby like two or three weeks before the draft and he was like, hey guys, we could do a snake or I'm going to leave the league because I'm not, I cannot tell my wife that I need four hours away from this three. We were like, all right, cool. And then the next year, another guy to kid. And we're like, you know what? I don't think we're ever going to get back to the auction drafting.

Like, that's not happening. Dude, my auction draft is this Tuesday. And it's at 7 p.m. Pacific. And I told Liz, I was like, I'm out for the night. You cannot contact me. I will be gone. I'm going zero dark 30 for the night. Darkness retreat.

Oh, man. Good take. All right. Who else has takes? I got to get one of these in to keep the bit going. Isaiah Pacheco is the third best running back on his own team. We're back, baby. I feel like whoever is the starting court running back on the chief,

D.K. just says they're the third best running back. Like, whoever D.K. now thinks is the best, the third string guy. Next year, he'll be the starter. And then D.K. will say that guy is the third best running back. Correct. You should have just said Clyde's going to be relevant. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying is Jerich McKinnon and Clyde Edwards-Layer are better running backs.

Pacheco is just aggressive. progressively very average. And even worse, he doesn't really catch passes. I don't really get what the upside is with him. If you're looking at some of the stats, he was 44th and PFS Russian grade last year, 47th in elusive rating, 30th and yards after contact.

I think we should be boosting McKinnon and CEH is a good sleeper. That's my take. I've never thought about Isaiah Pacheco once this offseason. I was going to say, I think he's the ultimate Glansberg. I also would go the other way and say, I feel like the chief starting running back Pacheco is probably like the single biggest whiff we had.

And he's probably going to be a top five running back if he learns to catch. It's a big if. Well, I mean, he's like, he like becomes what we all thought Clyde would be. He's not bad at catching the football probably. But I think that that's just not his role on this offense. Like,

it's going to be Jerich McKinnon doing that or Clyde. Can I just say, I can't believe that anybody who plays running back can be bad at catching the football. That's kind of shocking to me that you made it to the NFL and you are bad at catching like four yards. He's bad at catching the football. He's a receiver.

I just think it's a much. It's remarkable. It's like my dad's take that like if you're in the NBA, you should be able to shoot a free, like everybody should be over 70% from the free throw line and it's embarrassing if you're not. And I kind of totally agree. It's like it's a fucking free shot. And it's a three yard screen pass. Catch the ball. Craig, I saw, I saw a tweet the other day that said, and I don't know is it some international league. And they're Korean. Yeah, Korean. And they're like banking in free throws. And they're like hitting them at like an incredible rate. They're all shooting like 80% from the line. It's amazing. It's like, I love this. Is this the future? Yeah. I still don't think it's easier.

Like, you still have to be pretty accurate and there's like a lot of velocity that you have to give the ball to kind of bank it in. It's like a different trajectory. It's like a hook. Yeah, you just throw like a line drive. I would love the idea of just like everybody starts banking in all their shots from like the three, like from straight ahead. I still think one of the craziest things in sports that has not talked about enough is that Rick Barry shot. Underhand. Yeah, yeah.

And was one of the best three third. shooters ever and nobody has ever copied it since. Officially. People have tried. Because they've been bullied out of it. Why is that never worked? A hundred percent of bullying thing. It's just because it looks like lame and you look like a little bitch doing it. Oh, is that? We did it.

The horn? Wow. I feel so much. I feel light right now. A weight has been lifted. Cleanced. I almost said something about Rashad Penny that I was going to regret. So thank God.

Oh, I had one too. Well, you can keep that in the holster. Yeah. Yeah. I'll save that. I was just like, for the record, for the record, let the record publicly state that I am a fan of auction drafting and I prefer it over Snake. Now that we are outside of the Take Purge, I don't know what I said in there. I have no memory, but I love auction drafting.

And I won't have Cadarious Tony on any of my teams. I'm very confident in Anthony Richardson's abilities and I look forward to starting my draft with three wide receivers. The Josh Harris handshake was fucking mortifying. I can't even watch it. It's too painful. The ultimate ick. Yeah. All right.

That's all we got. Fantasyfutball.3.com, if you would like our public credible takes on rankings, et cetera, tears, everything draft track or fantasyfutball.3.com. Emails at rang your fantasy football at jibble.com for your take purges. Anything about the whole preseason? and also trivia. Going to be getting back to waiver and trivia before you know it.

Send us trivia questions. Remember, they have to have a number in it. Like, we have to, like, the answer has to be a number is something we can get it wrong, but closer than the other people. And fantasy court is back, baby. Please send us to fantasy court submissions. Honestly, even more than trivia. Sponsored by Jack Links.

Jack Links, baby. Jack Linksmeetroast.com. My fantasy team name this year. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, intern, Jack. Thank you, Chris Sims.

Thank you, Chris Sims. Our take, God. Thank you, whoever made the purge. We never find that out every year. And I still don't know which you doesn't watch the movie. I've seen it. We did it on the rewatchables. Oh, you did?

I haven't seen it yet. It's fine. I get the gist. Thank you, Lauren. Lord. Thank you, Black Eyed Peas. Cool. Dude.

I got a... I think you want a mini hot take? Yeah. They're so good coming back on a moment right now. I got a feeling is like one of the best songs of the 21st century. They played that at your wedding, right? Yes, they did. I think they did.

Dude, nostalgia, obviously it's always in, but nostalgia is, I feel like as in as ever. Like all the old bands are like really popular and Taylor Swift's on a nostalgia tour already. And like the black eyed peas, I think are like the biggest most omnipresent act from the 2000s that just never makes any of those playlists. Like they're never, like you look up like 2000s hits on like any. like Spotify or whatever. I don't know why, but the Black-Ead Peas are just never there. Well,

because they've been disparaged. It's like, like, not cool if you like them. They're like garbage pop or whatever. But really? I got a feeling is like one of the best hype songs, like pre-game songs.

I'm telling you. Play in a car on the way to wherever you're going and blast it. And it'll be fun. Did they play it at my wedding? Did the band play it or did the DJ play? I don't think the band played it. Oh, I don't remember,

but I honestly, you know, a little drinking. Maybe if I had some drinks, I would remember. It's like, you know, it would summon it back to you. I don't know why, but I do feel like I remember the band playing it. Let's check with Liz. Maybe, maybe.

Yeah. I don't know. Wait, dude, Black Guy, honestly, they have so many songs that are just absolute bangers. Yeah, they really do. Forget Fergie's national anthem when all the warriors were laughing at her. Oh, my God.

I forgot about that. an all-time internet moment. Do you want to say your Rashad Penny take down? We'll totally cut it. He's going to be top five in the league in rushing yards. Oh. Craig, my take was that he's barely going to play.

Is that a hot take? No, I meant like not like because he's injured, but just because he's like, he'll be healthy, but just a healthy scratch. He'll come in and like play five snaps a game. That's really funny.

Healthy scratch for 17 weeks. For real. It's been two months saying Rashad Penny, if he's healthy, he'll be amazing. Like, actually, it'll be healthy and terrible. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fandul is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino, LLC.

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