The Ringer NFL Show - The 2023 NFL Draft Mailbag

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

A week out from the 2023 NFL draft, the guys open up the mailbag to answer the most pressing draft-related (and non-draft-related) listener questions on everything from why Bryce Young is a first-round QB to the best vibes pick for the Green Bay Packers (2:52). Check out our 2023 Ringer NFL Draft Guide here! Email us! [e-mail] Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Ben Solak, Craig Horlbeck Producers: Craig Horlbeck and Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up everybody? It's Austin Rivers from the Minnesota Timberwolves. It's a new year and I have a new podcast here at the Ringer, Offguard, hosted by me and my guide, Pasha Higigi. Austin and I go way back and talk so much hoop already that we figure those time to fire up the mics and let you in on all of these conversations. Every week, Pasha and I will hit on the biggest stories happening in the league. And get Austin's perspective of someone currently hooping in the NBA. Tap into Offguard every Friday on the Ringer NBA show feed on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.

draft show, my name is Danny Hydefitz. I am joined by Danny, Kelly, Ben-Solik, and Craig Horlebeck. And we're doing a mailbag, baby. We're doing our biggest questions. Yeah. Entering the NFL draft, biggest medium, small questions, weird ones. Questions of all shapes and sizes. Very specific ones? Yeah.

Very broad ones. Like the quarterbacks, many shapes and sizes to the questions. So, well, actually, before we jump in NFLdraft.3.com, Dekah has his newest mock draft up at NFLdraft.3Rer.com. DK, can I ask a question about the mock? Oh, please do. It's because it's perfect and it's going to be exactly right. Do you feel like you have any idea what's going on in the draft this year?

I'll take my answer off air. What is the deal with the NFL is my question? No, I don't know. Who the fuck knows? It's a great pitch for the mock draft. We've only been doing this for two months. No, here's the deal. It's like doing mock drafts is the synthesization,

synonymization. How do you say that word? synthesization. I mean, it's not a word, so you don't say it. Synthes. Synthes? Synthes. No, go with synthesization.

I like that. Yeah, I like the amount of S's in LATs you got on. That's tough. Yeah, it's synthesizing all the information and trying to figure out what's bullshit and what's not, because there's so much information floating around right now. Like, I was going to actually ask, like, are we going to do a recap of what we think is going to be the first pick again? Like, is it Bryce Young today?

I mean, that was kind of when I asked. you about your mock draft. That was kind of your spot. I've been very resistant to the Bryce Young number one thing for no reason at all other than just me being stubborn for no reason. But it does feel like he's going number one. It would have been funny if just for two months,

the title of every single podcast we did was who is going to be the first pick in the draft in every episode we just tried to figure it out. And then this week it was, well, who's going to be the second pick in the draft? And then the fandal odds dropped to minus 1,500. And we're like, oh, I guess it's Bryce Young. Okay.

And then after we do who's the second pick, the next episode comes out. Who's going to be the 74th pick? People are like, holy smokes. They got two through 73 in the last episode. I got to listen. All right. Let's just dive into the mailbag here. I want to start with an excellent question from Joseph.

Joseph. Joe. Joseph? The subject line was all caps. You've found a magic lamp. Well done, Joe. Yes, I have. And he said, congratulations on finding this magic lamp.

A genie will now grant you all one wish each. You each will get the one player you want most from this draft be drafted onto your favorite NFL team. However, any rate's per the Geneva Convention or the Geneva Convention. It is forbidden that any of you walk away with the same player. So you each must select one player on your team in the order that your teams are slotted to pick in the draft. So, D.K, the Seawks of the first pick.

you're going fifth. If you could get any player you want in the draft from the Seahawks, for the Seahawks at five, which are one. Man. First I'm asking for more wishes. That's, hmm.

More genius. Let's see. More picks. Trade down. That was such a cool. When you were like sixth grade, that was like such a little like, like,

guys don't ask for a million wishes. Remember that episode of the same? Timmy Turner is like, wait, I want a lawyer. And the lawyer comes up with all the lists of qualifications. Oh, yeah. Of the wishes.

Yeah. This one's very difficult for me. I'm going to go with Will Anderson. Edge rusher, Alabama. Because he's my number one player in the draft, and therefore it would be nice. And I think it's actually, there's a maybe 20, 30% chance he's still there at number five.

If there's a big run on quarterbacks, which, who knows? But yeah. And if Jalen Carter potentially goes early, or there's some indication that Tyree Wilson could go, before Will Anderson. Yeah, Will Anderson, to me, fits a need for the Seahawks. He's a very good player. High floor, high ceiling, high character, everything you kind of want.

I mean, this is coming up 420. So there you go. Hi, right off the jump. Perfect. Whoa, is it 420? Oh, wow. According to April 19th, but yes, it's coming up 420. Blaze it, Daniel.

Hello, fellow kids. Hello, my fellow kids. So like, you're at 10. If the Eagles could get anyone in the draft to 10 other than Will Anderson, who do you want? Jay Lynn Carter, which would have been my pick, no matter who Danny Kelly took. And I was worried that Danny Kelly was going to take him. And I'm very happy that I get him. Firstly, the Eagles have a bigger need of defensive tackle than they do at edge rusher.

I also rank Carter higher than I rank Will Anderson. I think that on-field Carter is a game wrecking talent, double-digit sack from the interior. And Domican Sue, Fletcher Cox. This is the guy. Obviously, off the field, there's concerns and there's debates about him. but Drew Rosenhaus, who is his agent, who was also on HBO recently, just like talking about Jalen Carter?

I didn't really understand what was happening there. But anyway, he has said that... Was he in favor or against Jalen Carter? He's pretty pro Jalen Carter. He's like, you know what I think is a good player? Jalen Carter. Him I represent. Yeah, cool, cool.

An agent is, I mean, just a type of lawyer. It's like, my lawyer says... It's not allowed to lie. The, uh, so Rosenhouse has said previously that Carter, they're not taking meetings with teams outside. the top 10 because Jayne Carter's going top 10. And I think that means that Rosenhaus and Carter are very confident that if they make it to like nine with the bears or 10 with the Eagles, that he'll go there.

And so mine is not, mine is also reasonable, just like DKs is. I think it could really happen. I heard Lance Zerling bring this up on the Establish the Run podcast the other day. The idea of the Eagles trading up to get Jalen Carter, which could happen. Howie Roseman is a go get your guy type of GM. And part of the reason the Eagles makes so much sense for him is number one, they're in a position to add like an elite talent and just take them over the top kind of deal. But number two, they have a couple of his former teammates, Jordan Davis and Nikobi Dean,

already on the roster in terms of like mentorship and leadership and all that, like getting him onto a team with his friends who, and I believe Jordan Davis has been like a mentor to him. And so I think that's like a big part of this too. Josh Norris and Underdogs done a good job bringing this up, but it's incredible that the Eagles wanted to sign Alan Robinson. last year and then the Rams just signed him instead and they're like, fine, we'll just trade for

AJ Brown. Oh my gosh. That's why it was a smokescreen season. We were always going for AJ Brown. Hi Roseman, go GM. No, it knows anything. So actually, Craig, Steelers, you can get anyone you want other than Will Anderson Jaylon Carter. I'm like, I'm thinking about quarterback. Like, it

crossed my mind. Wow. Can he pick it be a great backup? I don't know. I mean, to be I don't know if I like any of the quarterbacks enough. I was thinking about saying Christian Gonzalez or something or like Devon Witherspoon, but I'm probably going to go with Peter Skoronsky because if I want, can he pick it to be good, a good offensive line is like the best way to know if a quarterback could actually play quarterback and not kill him.

So I'm probably going to take Peter Skoronsky, the tackle out of Northwestern. I was just going to say, yeah, the Steelers seem like the word on the street of the Steelers are taking a tackle and they might trade up to do it. So Scoronsky is also not a pipe dream. So far, we've been very reasonable with our pipe dream targets. All right. They all could very well happen. All right, for my second pick, I'd like a pony.

No, I would like Jackson, Smith, and Jigpa. That's what I'm going with. I think the Seahawks need a number three receiver. Tyler Lockett is getting kind of old, and both him and D.K. Mike have gotten hurt in the past, and so having an extra guy to help put their defense over the top, and he'd be a perfect compliment to both of those receivers. So love me some Jackson Smith, Chicka at number 20.

I feel like Tom Hardy and Inception. It's like Dare to Dream a little bigger. It's like, I'm just going to give me Anthony Richardson to know the Giants. Just let him sit by Daniel Jones. I don't know. They'll work it out. I was very tempted to say. No better player to learn behind than Daniel Jones.

Dude, he learned from the best. Like, here's the thing. Daniel Jones learned from Eli, the greatest quarterback in NFL history. And then Daniel Jones learned from Eli and then Anthony Richards can learn from Daniel Jones. And that's the lineage. It's like, you know, Aristotle learning from Plato. Read through a progression, get to his checkdown, dump it off. And then Brian Dave will turn to Richardson goes, yeah, so don't do that.

That's the example of what we want you to avoid doing. This is great. Thank you, Daniel Jones, for being a demonstration. He also wouldn't learn from Daniel Jones because he would just start over him immediately. How many millions of dollars? Where the smoothies are. Learn a lot about the cafeteria lady who gives out generous scoops of food. It's a good learning process.

You guys are just some jealous of the giant's out of the too fast. He could learn how to have like a confused look of a third grader after an incomplete pass. you can learn how to do that just on the sideline Daniel Jones being like this is the fastest way to turn on the Microsoft Surface tablet bang there it is yeah why does Daniel Jones get all of Eli's dumb

looks too it's kind of incredible um all right anyway next one we got to hear from Andrew Andrew Andrew Andy Andy I like assuming nicknames for these people me too I find I have great power in that regard I'm a little confused by the Bryce Young criticisms I'm reading

Solek has described Bryce Young as being so tiny that it would be an almost unprecedented occurrence in the history of the NFL for Bryce Young to be successful. Bryce Young's arm strength is unimpressive. His accuracy suffers as a result of poor arm strength. Bryce Young's play style makes him injury prone. So I have to ask, is it unimpressive arm strength, flaky accuracy in being injury prone and unacceptably small? Just the profile of a bad quarterback? Why is Bryce Young a first rounder?

So, yes. But those things, like those things aren't. count it, we're double counting those things, right? Like, all of those things are true of young, but they all circle back to the same thing, which is his height, right? Like, your durability concerns because of how small and how slight he is. His arm strength issues are because of, he's not a super big guy, so he doesn't have a ton of power in his arm.

And then he's on his tiptoe sometimes, so his heels aren't in the ground, so he doesn't get a ton of power from the ground, right? And like, so all this stuff that we're talking about is the results of his size. And so you don't want to double count these things. He's just like, all right, this is the play style he's destined for because of his size. However, if, like, I come back in the future, I tell you, Bryce Young is successful. He's successful in the NFL because he is unimaginably gifted outside of structure against pressure, like, in tight areas.

Like, he's so, he's so quick. He's so springy. He's so wily. Like, he's just an unbelievable manipulator of space. He manipulates coverage really well because he understands how space works. He knows how to pace the ball, how to time the ball. And he is generally accurate. Like, he has instances in which, like, he has accuracy drain, which I think are the result of his frame.

But in general, he is accurate. And so all of that, like that play style that he's been forced to play into, while it does have weaknesses, it has also developed unique strengths to his game. He is so good off script because he is off script so often because of his size, right? And so, like, we should frame it this way. For Young to have been successful at Alabama at his size with his issues is already impressive, is already fighting against the grain, is already being an outlier and succeeding despite a lack of size. that's not guaranteeing he's going to do it again at the next level, but it's to say, like, he made this point, he was on, I think he was on with Stephen A. Smith on ESPN,

where Steve and I asked him about, like, the criticisms you get because of your size. And he was like, those are fair criticisms. Like, I get him. It makes sense. I've just been hearing them for forever and also been very good at football. So I don't really care. Like, that's right here since high school and we're, we're chilling. And so for me, it's a lot more descriptive.

Like, when I break down Bryce Young's, film, like I for the ring or YouTube. For me, it's a lot more descriptive. Like, I want people to understand when we say short quarterback, like, there's more ways this impacts the game than just like, oh, you can't see over the line. Like, there's a lot of stuff that comes from that. However, Bryce Young's very good. And so it's just, are you willing to take this gamble?

D.K., do you have any thoughts on Bryce Young, the Joe Burrow with the Mario Poison mushroom minimized? I prefer the stunted 11-year-old gymnast, but that's fine. You like the real world comparison there Make it real. Yeah, to get dark. That movie wouldn't have made as much of the box office.

If Mario was a stunted gymnast, probably not. And it was live action? Probably not. No, I think the question, though, like, it makes sense, but at the same time, you were capturing some of the negatives and there's a big picture, positives and negatives,

and we're going to always, like in this, you know, business or whatever, we're going to pick apart some of these guys. That's part of the deal. That's just the business, baby. So I think, yes, if you only list the unimpressive armstrike, flaky accuracy, injury prone, unacceptably small, like, yeah, that looks bad. But he also has incredible, incredible playmaking off script stuff.

Everything you hear about him is he's an A plus person. And Ben, as you listed off like the things that he's good at, the thing I was just thinking is like this is how you describe like every great quarterback in the NFL. It's like super fast processing, like vision. and then add into that, like all the work ethic things that you're hearing about him, like he's an incredible leader, all these things. And like those are the things that actually matter the most. We can nitpick some of the stuff that is a concern.

And it might be a real concern. It might inhibit his ceiling. But at the same time, like, he has incredibly good attributes too. We got a question actually from Ewan in Stuttgart, Germany. Ewan, Ewan. Ewan. Oh, Ewan. Hey, guys, do you think the Texans pass on Siege Stroud?

because he has the same agent as Deshawn Watson. Seems more like an NBA kind of thing, but I can't shake the feeling that that matters. And if yes, if yes, the Texans pass in Stroud, would they take Anthony Richardson or Will Levis signed a very concerned Texans fan? I personally do actually think that that's part of it.

I don't know if that's the entire thing. I do think that that situation in Texas in Houston got so bitter that that would be part of it. But also, I think a bunch of teams might pass on CJ Stroud. D.K., you did your mock. You have the... You have Stroud going in this draft. Actually, the Texans passing on them,

the Raiders trading up at three. So do you think the Texans are just going to pass on a quarterback altogether? Well, I think it's possible. That's the big bit of like, that's the rumors right now that is they're considering that they'd maybe rather take C.J. or Will Anderson or whoever at the number two pick and then maybe use their 12th overall pick to get a quarterback. I think it's certainly within the realm of possibility.

and when it comes to CJ Stroud specifically with his agent, I kind of go back and forth about it because on one level, it's like you can't just ignore one of these super agents. He's going to have a lot of clients and you can't just like not work with him ever. That being said, for a quarterback, maybe. Like that might be a deal breaker for this quarterback in this particular situation where we're like, yeah, we really hated working with you in this previous, you know, situation, especially when it comes to quarterback.

It was by far the most important person on the football team. And so I could see in reality, like, again, we're all human beings. Like, you can see them being like, no, we're not going to, we're not going to take him because we just don't want to deal with this guy. Does Deshaun have the same agent that he did? Or did that agent drop him and he found a new one? No, he had David Mulligetta. So he's had him the whole time. Got it.

I feel like Stroud's falling in general, though, not just with Houston. Like Stroud, I. Falling. This is the, this is the classic draft. Well, that's the thing. When I say falling, to be clear, there's, you could also argue there's no such thing as falling in drafts. It's kind of like teams think what they think and then we just kind of catch up and it's a slingshot effect. But at the same time, there's just a bunch of weird stuff.

It's pretty many eating great interviews. And then like the Brady Quinn was just saying that he goes to the Manning Passing Academy and there's just all this weird stuff. And part of me is like, I don't know, maybe the Raiders are just putting that stuff out there so they get CJ Stroud. I don't know what to make of it. But I'm more willing to believe that Stroud isn't in the top I think Trump is definitely falling in the sense that a month ago with the Panthers. there's straight up for first overall, they thought they were going to take him, and now they're going to take somebody else.

I think it's on us. Literally not number one. Yeah. Yeah. I think there was a sense of like, oh, if he doesn't go one, he'll go two.

And again, like we never, we never had that. Like, that was never something that was like, like dialed in. And then, okay,

well, then maybe, okay, four to the Colts. And then it's like, well, it seems like the Colts might like another guy. And that's the thing with like the agent conversation.

I think if Strab were very clearly the best quarterback option, the Texans would swallow the pill on the agent and they would just take the guy. I don't think he is to the Texans. I don't think he is to a few teams, right? And that's why you see a Stroud fall. He fell out of one and now it's just like he's tumbling until he finds a new home. I still think he goes like top seven.

Yeah. But I don't think he's QB2. I think he's QB3 at the earliest. It's all relative. He's not going to have a huge tumble down the board, probably. My real question is, how does a man, Ewan, from Germany, become a Houston Texans fan? I was wondering that as well.

Why did you choose this? Is it because they were the most recent expansion team? And he was like, I'll just pick them. Ewan, let us know. Respond to our email. I would love to know how you became a Texans fan. Maybe he's from Texas. Those are the biggest questions that really are in the draft.

Bryce Young, Siege Stroud, why did Ewan become a Texans fan? Those are the big three. The median questions, we got one from Ben. Ben. Benny. What do the Bears do at 73? I'm genuinely 100% fascinated by what the bears do at 73. This is a question from the last pod where,

we are prompting for questions. Can we make you, let's make both of you make a pick right now. And if you're right, then something great will happen to. I don't know what it is. You've got a prize. A genie. We'll grant you a wish.

Yeah, it's like a fortune. Hmm. Haifitz, real quick, while we're thinking about it, can you give us the team needs for the bears? And don't say everything, because I know that's sort of true, but like give us a few specific examples. I know, I don't need the team needs. I don't want the team needs.

I have decided. Wow. Flex. No problem. I know who it is. guess I'll go fuck myself I'll take sorry

go ahead I didn't hear you said you said I'll go fuck myself I guess okay I'm going to make sure okay they are going to take and I'm positive about this

you take this to the bank what's the name of the I'll stop out of Maryland Jayland Duncan Jaylon Duncan they're taking Jaylin Duncan No problem. Lock it in.

This question's going swimming way. Yeah, yeah, Diabi. Louisville. No, so they need, they need lining. I actually thought of that, High Fitz. That's a good one. I'm going with that one. Habakkuk Boldenado?

There we go. I do actually think the Bears just need linemen because like Isaiah McGuire, Missouri. Who? Isaiah McGuire, Missouri. Oh, there you go. The Bears, they're keeping fields for the year. They just traded a first and second round pick

to acquire. our wired receivers and their first two picks last year were DBs. So it's like, just go get. Trenches. Side linebackers and free agency. Just go get offensive and defensive linemen, just until the draft ends. Should we do all the Bears picks? 90, 130.

Do you want to just run through them all? Well, everybody knows that 130 is going to be Ventral Miller. So that's just a waste of a question. Next up here, we got Joe and Hackensack. Joe. Wait, where? Joe. Jack and sack.

Jersey. Where's that? Okay, gotcha. Hey, Joe. it feels like all draft season we talk about is needs and fits, but some of the draft picks that are best are when a team ignores their need and just builds a strength on an existing strength, like Randy Moss to the Vikings.

Do you have a few great strength on strength fits for this draft class? The ones that immediately came to my mind were the Bengals taking a tight end where it's like they would have Joe Burrow thrown into Jamar Chase, T. Higgins, Tyler Boyd, and like Michael Mayer. That just seems insane. And then that the, I don't know if this is actually going to happen, obviously, but the idea that the Steelers would trade up to go get Jalen Carter out of Georgia and just like put Jalen Carter next to Kim Hayward and DJ Watt

was like I thought about that for like three minutes daydreaming. DK, is there anything that sticks out to you of a team that has a chance to add a strength on top of an existing strength? The team that kind of comes to mind for this one is like the Lions. Because they have two first round picks. If they go offense, offense and just continue to build the crap out of that offense and grab like a tight end and a receiver or something like that, that to me sounds like something that might be fun,

even though people aren't really putting that. at mock drafts, but, you know, adding a, like, their offense is already ascending. One of the brightest young play callers in the NFL, you know, Jared Goff is somewhat good now, apparently, and just continue to add around him. I think that would be one that, the first thing that came to my mind for this. Yeah. I let Eagles to take any position, I think, counts. Yeah.

No fair. A good football team and they have the 10th overall pick. But especially offensive line, right, but they tend to just draft guys every single year, offensive line men. They've been connected to Peter Skoronski, like, There's a very good chance to draft the game to just play guard and wait to play tackle once Lane Johnson retires. Like that's a huge strength on strength. The lines have been connected to Osiris Torrance, the guard at a Florida, which is another strength on strength.

That's interesting. You brought up the Bengals with how dangerous their past catchers are. The spot to me where I could see a team just going like bananas on wide receiver, despite the fact that they're already good at wide receivers, the Niners. They had Jane and Reed in to visit this week, which I love Jane and Reed at at Michigan State. They have Debo. They have very naive. They don't need receivers. But all the Niners have are third round picks. And the only good place in this draft the drafts of receivers the third round.

And there are going to be so many small, unbelievable yards after the catch threats. And then I just go get whichever one they want and then just design touches for them and watch them hit home runs. They took Danny Gray out of SMU in the third round last year with kind of that theory in mind. And they always take these middle round receivers. And so the Niners are a huge strength on strength. And they love to draft for strengths. So like you mentioned the Lions. and I think we probably owe it to everyone to remind that last year you broke the news

that the lions are going to trade up to the 12th pick for James and Williams. And in the tweet where you broke this news, you spelled it loins. And we've got to email. You got to do something to stand out in this space. High Fitz. You got to find a way to make a name for yourself. And I am the loins, man. Ben, did you go back and delete that tweet?

Or is it still up there? No, I'm looking at it right now. I got who the lions traded up for 12 before anybody else. did. All right. That tweet's staying up forever. I don't care about no loin. You didn't get who the lines traded up for you. You got who the loins traded up for. Also, the replies for that tweet are great. I'm pretty sure Roger Sherman, our dear co-worker, was the first one in with this MF or said loins. It was never seen release. So the reason I bring up, Doc Big Daddy, Eric, and that is the person emailed us.

Doc Big Daddy. Doc. And he wanted us to know that the New York Times crossword puzzle today has the word loin in it. So shout up, Ben Sulek. It's awesome. Thank you. All right. It's from Ethan. Can we go Doc Big Daddy, Ethan?

Ethan. Doc Big Daddy, Ethan. What are the odds that we see a real fall for the wide receivers in this year's draft, similar to the quarterbacks last year? Because similar arguments were made that we're hearing again for the quarterbacks last year. Well, they're not that great, but they're a valuable position. So teams are going to take them early. Doc Big Daddy Eric says, I understand that taking quarterback in the first or second round is a commitment in a way that taking a receiver is not. However, I can't help but wonder if wide receiver will be the position this show.

year that comes off the board in an order and in rounds that are shocking in the moment, but make total sense a year from now. DK., what is your sense of that? Because I feel like all these guys are flawed. And also, they're all small and it feels like when we did the off brand name brand thing, it was like, wow, the Kirkland brand version of this receiver in the fourth round, it's like just as good as the second rounders. Like, why are we going to take any of these guys in the first? It's not going to be as pronounced as the quarterback one last year where it was like, holy shit, these guys are all like no one's taking a quarterback. No one, they're all refusing to take a quarterback. What the hell is going on? I don't think there's any, we're going to see anything like

that. But I could, it's possible to see like one or only one or two receivers go in the first round. Like, I think that would not be that surprising. And then you see a bunch come off on day two because like you said, there's just a lot of guys in this class. They're all, are mostly pretty small. But I don't think, like again, I don't see them falling super far because every year receiver is a, is a position that teams just like spam. There's more receivers and corners, in every year than like any other position. And so, yeah, and if you look at like the way that teams

construct their rosters, there's always like, I don't know what it is, like eight receivers, seven receivers on a team. How many, how, what would you say the averages these days,

Ben? Like seven? I, I got very distracted. Kai just liked my Detroit Loins tweet. It just, I'm in the middle of this and I get notification on my phone.

Kai Grady has liked your tweet per source of the loins of 12 overall proud of my wife here James and Williams. Classic. Which is in no need for that. guy. Unbelievable. That was good. That was good. Yeah, like seven, eight. Yeah, sure. Incredible. It's never going to answer my question.

I legitimately missed the question. I spent the last 10 seconds ensuring this is actually happening. Let me recap. To sum up, TLDR, they were going to fall maybe a little bit, but not a lot because teams take tons of receivers every year in the draft. Like, they're one of the most highly drafted positions. There's just the volume of them is a lot. So there's always going to be teams that take them. By the way, the other thing that will add to this and just big picture, like receivers despite all the like talk about receivers being skinny last year with Chris Olivae garrowson was like under site quote unquote like skinny bMI all that stuff they still went top 10 jalen wattle went top 10 devante smith went top 10 teams are still valuing receiver a lot even if we don't like love this receiver class i don't think they're going to fall as much as i don't think

they hate the class as much as we think yeah i i'd be surprised if we see fewer than two by receivers in the first round uh jacks with and jigman zay flowers I think we'll see three, Jordan Addison, grain Johnson, kind of in that next tier. So are they going to fall relative to, like, last year when five went in a row or whatever, like eight to 12? Yeah, but the class is just a little bit worse than it was last year. I'm very much on record of saying we'll never have a bad wide receiver class again.

And I believe that. Like, this is a fine wide receiver class. It's not bad. It's not as good relative to the last few years. So my tricking to saying it's bad, but it's not a bad class at all. There's like multiple starters in this class. there's so many bodies at wide receiver that every year is going to be a couple first rounders

and sometimes they're going to be five and a couple of them are going to be top ten and some years are going to be their pick between 10 and 25. Last year the Lions traded up for Jameson Williams. They traded up to number 12 to take Jameson Williams. He was coming off an ACL injury

and he was like a one year wonder. Not saying Jameson Williams is bad. I'm just saying like the NFL values receivers. This one, this next one is from Elena. Elena. I'm actually going to start with Elena's PS, which is the post script is my mom thinks that she invented the signs outside of grocery stores that say, did you bring your reusable bags? Because my mom wrote to her local supermarket many years ago that they should do that. You can't claim to have invented a sign that says a thing. That's just a sign.

Maybe she started the trend. That's the thing. And on that note, we also got another one, the most tilted one I've ever. I actually got more frustrated reading this patent than anything I've ever read. A guy, I'm sorry, I forget what your name is. I'm sorry, I apologize. But he emailed us. Someone invented the little blocks between grocery store conveyor belts, like the thing you just grab and put between your stuff and the other person's stuff.

And it's like some guy just gives those to grocery stores for free and just sells the advertising space himself. Oh my God. And I literally just like threw down what I was holding in anger. I'm like, how have we not figured something out like that? He just gives them away. Can he make more money selling ads on those things while paying for the production of them rather than just selling them to grocery stores?

I don't know. I don't know. I feel like, well, okay, let me ask you this. Name anything you've ever read on one of those ever. Exactly. I didn't even know they had ads. That's my thing. Start selling this.

This is how advertising works. Anyway, Elena had a question about offensive linemen. Elena says I have a question that feels very dumb, but no one has been able to give me a good answer when I've been asking around my entire life. The too long don't read is, what is the point of drafting guards when you could just

draft tackles? She's like, I get that guards and tackles of different roles and more importantly, like guards and tackles of different body types. But my general understanding is it's harder to bump a guard to the outside than it is to bump a tackle to the inside. So why not just bring in

someone that can probably play both and isn't limited by size? Just have big people. I mean, this, I think this is something that teams say. That's why we see tackles so much more highly valued and make so much more money. But at the end of the day, like there's only so many tackles. And then at some point, you have to start dipping into the guards. And like, versatility is always more valuable.

Yeah. And I would wager that every guard that comes out in the draft that's like a good guard probably played tackle at some point previously in his career. It's probably like high school tackle. And then they moved him into guard and at college, you know what I'm saying? So it's like all offensive linemen are tacked. tackles. And just how,

how recently did you get moved inside and how much is your body type changed since then? Center is probably different because you do want your centers to be a little bit smaller. But like the tackle to guard thing, I think has, has some veracity. And it's nice to have, especially as backups, guys who have experienced the ability to play both.

All with all that said, when Quinn Nelson came out, no one was like, there was that conversation. It was like, why is this guy playing tackle? He should be playing tackle. So even like the top guard prospect,

Zach Martin was a tackle. T. Lang was a tackle. Like, you know, it's just everybody, like, yeah, all the money points to tackle, all the enthusiasm points to tackle. You want to have as many guys who can possibly play the role on your team at one time as you can. So just put a sign outside the front of the NFL buildings. It's like, did you bring your reusable tackle?

Good one. Got an email from, yeah, thanks. All right, fine. It wasn't my best. Jesus. Anthony wrote an unhinged email about the package. Tony. Oh, my, just Tony was, Tony was excited.

I don't even want to read the whole thing. His point was like, is our front office even good? Love you, Tony. But there's a Devin Funchess mentioned in here. There's a lot going on. I think I'm just going to start, though, with John Packers fans' question, which is, what is the best vibes pick for Green Bay, DK? You're the vibes expert.

First round receiver, probably. Love the vibes on that. Like, I just fuck you to Aaron Rogers on the way out. I mean, that's not a very good vibes pick for maybe for the actual Packers, but for us, it is a good vibes pick. Well, that was also Anthony's question, which is now, like, if you, ignore Aaron Rogers exist. Will they draft offense or not?

And I actually think they will. And it's going to sound to us like, oh, they're just trolling Rogers, but they're like, no, we had Rogers and everyone put around them will be good. So let's just make sure we have a great defense to go win a Super Bowl. And I actually think the Packers,

I mean, they were really close. Like, they ran out of cornerbacks in the NFC championship game and lost. Yeah. Also, we're like really close to winning and we never talk about that stuff. This was like one of the most obvious points too, but, you know, like we talk about organizational

habits and sort of like philosophies and stuff. And it's like, oh, yeah, the big thing is the Packers just don't take first round receivers. But they've also had Hall of Fame quarterbacks for like the past 35 years or whatever it is. Like they can just make do with second round receivers. They're not like every other team because they've got a Hall of Fame quarterback. And they lucked into having back to back guys that could just like continue to play at that level. So yeah, I mean, I think like when we talk about the Packers just never drafting a receiver in the first round, I'm like maybe that changes this year because now they have Jordan Love and they need to build around him.

To me, like, you know, the Aaron Rogers drama nonwithstanding, team has very good veteran quarterback, does not need to invest in early wide receiver picks because their passing offense will be good no matter what because their great veteran quarterback is awesome, is now transitioning to team that is starting a quarterback for the first year and he probably needs as much help as he can get and we don't have a lot of good pass catchers. Like for as funny as it'll be, if and when the Packers take Jackson's for the Jigba or Michael Mayer or Don't can or whomever. I do you also think like there's legit veracity to the approach

that's not 100% just screw you Aaron Rogers even though that'll be what I feel when the thing is made. We got Luke from Minnesota. Luke.

Luke. We watched a lot of Gilmore girls recently so like Luke, I haven't shown my mind. Luke says he has a medium question not a big question, but he's writing about which player

do you think has the biggest chance of making a fantasy player has the biggest chance of making a huge jump based on where they land. So not necessarily like a Bejan Robinson or Anthony Richardson, but like who's an offensive player that you're like, if they land in the right spot could... Wheels up. Yes.

DeK. Yeah. I thought about this for a while. There's so many different potential answers, but the first guy that came to mind is Hendker. If he lands in a place where he's going to be a starter very soon and he's taken in the first round, I think his value is going to jump pretty massively,

right up there to like near. Will Levis, potentially, in terms of like rookie drafts. Right now, I think he's going, typically in the drafts I've done and the mock drafts I'm doing, he's like first, second turn in Super Flex League. So like either late first or somewhere in the middle or in the early part of the second round, because people don't know if he's going to be a second round pick or a first round pick, but like first round quarterback immediately has value. They tend to hold that value.

And so I could see him making a pretty significant jump up. Darnel, Washington. another great one. This to me is this is a first name that came to mine right away, especially because it's Dynasty, because I don't think Washington's going to be producing super well early on his career no matter what, but if he gets drafted,

if he gets drafted, it'd be a tight end two and like, oh, we use him for his blocking, you're screwed. If he gets drafted somewhere where he has the chance to be a tight end one, he's going to be on the field a ton because of the run blocking. He's so good after the catch. He's a great touchdown threat. Like Washington is absolutely like if he lands somewhere where he's going to get volume, awesome stash.

Okay. Okay. We got one, we got another question here. This is from Craig. Craig. This is actually from me. This is actually from me. Dead serious. I am the person asking this question. Okay. Here's my question. For you guys, for Ben and D.K. And Hyfitz, too. Oh, you are? Yeah. So, wait, you guys didn't give me a nickname for Craig. Craig. Craig. Craig. Craig. Can't make a Tomlo without breaking some Craig. See, Reg. Oh, that was bad. Okay. There are so many tight ends in the last 10 years that have changed the dynamic of a team, right? Like, your Travis Kelsey's, your George Kittles, Grunk, obviously, whatever you want to say.

And those are the players that fans are most scared of, right? It's like, oh, great, we're playing the Chiefs. Like, Travis Kelsey's going to tear us apart. Oh, Grancowski, he's going to tear. Like, we can't stop Grancowski. It seems that when a tight end is right, when it hits right, it's like even more dominant than a receiver can be

because of the way you can use them on the field and make player, who has to guard them. So explain to me why tight ends, when a tight end is really good, like this Michael mayor guy, like why aren't teams clamoring to get tight ends in like the top 10 or top 15 if they have the possibility of being fucking Travis Kelsey, who's probably more important than any other,

and than any wide receiver? Like, why are people taking Jackson Smith and Jigba over a Michael mayor? I have an immediate answer to that, which is all those guys that were great, got drafted like late. Like Travis Kelsey was a fifth round pick, But if you think a guy is really good, why aren't you going for it? I think the short answer is that it's not a linear growth because they have to learn two jobs.

They have to learn how to get open at an NFL level. And they also have to learn a block. And so it's slow and so it's hard to predict who's good. And that's why all the great tight ends of the last 20 years have not really been for shrimp picks. Why are we so bad at scouting tight ends then? Yeah. So that I think is the real question. I would maybe like a slight edit.

Why are we so bad at scouting and developing tight ends? Because like Hyfit said, like it's a difficult position to bring along. because you fill so many roles, you have to know the whole playbook, you have to line up at Y, one play, and then line up at F, the next play,

which is like a huge difference in terms of like, where you line up, what routes you run and so on and so forth. Teams did try, is what I would say. Like,

T.J. Hawkins was the top 10 pick. Kyle Pitts was the top five pick, right? And like, I don't even think, like, you can say, like, oh, they missed on Pitts just yet. Like, I think Pitts sold a chance

to be a really, really good player. I don't know if we're ever going to reach the point where he was worth four overall, right? that shit might have already sailed in that sense. So I think teams did try. And I definitely think that there was a surge of like tight end evaluation.

I'm like, oh, you can run a passing game through these guys. They can get 100 plus targets. But we have not successfully caught up to that in terms of our scouting of these players and then our development of these players critically. And that's why right. Like Kelsey late round pick,

Mark, late round pick. Kittle was like third round, right? Yeah, Kettle is fifth round. Kittle was a great point because it's not an accident at Gronk became the greatest blocking tight end. Like his coach was Dantes-Grenecke who were like offensive, like, that's the best offensive line coach of the 21st century. And then you've also got Kelsey coming up under Andy Reid where it's like, you know, I think that's a really good point. And that would be the last thing I would say would be when we start to highlight development.

One of the questions that we should ask is like, how does the coach use the tight end? Right. It's harder than it seems to run a passing offense through the tight end position. You have to kind of sell out for it. You have to kind of like really, really, really prioritize it. And that can be challenging, right? Like Shanahan has figured out how to use Kittal really, really well, but he doesn't sell out for Kittal to be a feature of his passing game.

Like that's, he has Devo and Iuke, right? Reid obviously does it excellent. Doug Peterson did a tremendous job when he was in Philadelphia, Zach Hertz, Dallas Godder. And then with Evan Ingram, Ingram had the best season of his career. Ingram finally looked like he was worth the first round pick when he was with Doug. Like getting a tight end to really be that feature guy in the passing game is actually kind of challenging.

And if you don't know how to do as an offensive coach, you're just kind of used to using them on the same underneath routes and the same checkdown stuff and the same three trick plays and then leave them in line. Like, you're just always going to get Hayton Hursts. You're going to get guys who are drafted in the first round or any steady players who aren't actually needle movers. So a tight end position still very much a riddle

that the NFL has not as a total league figured out. Yeah, maybe it's like a chicken or the egg thing because all the best teams from all the teams that win the Super Bowl, most of the time they have like an elite tight end. I mean, obviously like Brady had grunk and you have Kelsey, but like Breeze was really good with Jimmy Graham and like, you know, Tony Romo when they were really good, he had Jason Whitten.

And even when the Eagles won the Super Bowl in 2016, like Ertz was really good that year. It just always seems like the teams that are winning the Super Bowl have a really fucking good tight end. I think the oversimplification of it that I kind of had a light bulb moment like last year was, who would you rather throw to Craig?

The guy who runs 4-3 or the guy who runs 4-7? Yeah, but the guy who runs 4-7, what if he's 6-6, incredibly athletic? Yeah, but what if the guy who runs 4-3 is 6-6? Like, I don't know, like 6-4. Like, I think, to me it's like the way that the NFL... You're just describing D.K. Metcalfe. The way the NFL runs its offense through the receivers these days, and like, there's way more three-receiver sets.

Like, obviously, it's cyclical and things are going to go back and forth, and teams are going to use more two-time sets at certain times. But, like, the massive oversimplification of it is, like, these, little shifty, speedy, explosive guys get open easier than the big lumbering tight ends. You know what I mean? Obviously, even like the best and most athletic tight ends, you have to kind of scheme them up to get open a little bit, like, or at least, you know, give them the opportunity to get lined up against like a linebacker.

And then are these guys your number one option in an offense? Like with Travis Kelsey, he's been either the one B or number one option in this offense for years next to, you know, Tyreek or last year he was just the number one guy. and he has to be a very special player to be the number one option in a wide receiver heavy league. So I think it's you have to find someone that's very special. You have to find a coach that knows that to use them. Then you have to find a quarterback that's willing to throw to that tight end. I also think this is the next big change in the NFL, like the next wave of where it's going.

Like I keep watching the NBA and it's like all these seven footers shooting threes. It's kind of incomprehensible. Joel Embeddead shoots threes. He makes them at a better rate than Michael Jordan. Like, Yokitch, this is an effort. Yeah. Yokic is more assists per game this season than like Jason Kidd did in his career. And Jason Kidd is second. Don't care.

It's like, yes. But like it's the, these bigger guys have gotten more skilled and they, you know, call them unicorns. And I think that that is where tight end is going to go to your point, Craig, where it's like, you look at Darnell Washington. Like, oh, blocking tight ends. They're just going to be guys that could have played tackle 20 years ago. Like right now, Trent Williams is probably the best left tackle in football.

Today might just be a tight end. And I think that's those kinds of athletes going forward are going to be more. common like guys who could have been tackles trained as tight ends and then more guys like brock bowers who's at georgia and going to be probably the best titan next year who takes handoffs for 75-yard touchdowns and can line up basically anywhere and i think that those are going to be um i i kind of think that might be the next wave but titans are cool it is it's a very fascinating question craig like i'm trying to figure so like i don't think that mike is like this amazing incredible player but like it was a little bit weird that like the dolphins just didn't want to

utilize him at all. He's like this six-foot-six guy who's super athletic. He's got a massive catch radius. But they have Tyree Kill and Jaylon Waddell, so they'd way rather throw to those guys. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. He's not the greatest example, but like just in general, tight ends, it feels like they're better utilized as like a third option in an offense with so many teams having two good receivers. I don't know. Yeah, I guess it's like, does the team make the tight end or does the tight end make the team? And it sounds like it's the team makes the tight end. I really wish you hadn't told us that you asked this question Craig? If you didn't, I would have been like, this is an awesome question.

I love getting questions from listeners. Then you could have been like, it was me. But now as I know it was you, I'm not saying any of that. Okay. That's fair. All right, we have something much more important to talk about. Got an email from Shelly. Actually, it's Shelley Borelli.

Shelly Borelli? She says, uh, I work at Lulu Lemon in the Bay Area. And in December, I met Brock Bertie. Where's this going? She's like, I'm now in love with him. And I follow him around the country and I can't stop thinking about him. I find it very reprehensible that you think he's not going to win seven Super Bowls. Shelly says after his second game, none of my coworkers believed that he was a quarterback

because he was so normal looking. And I thought I had to tell you guys this because you guys keep talking about quarterback size. And I swear to God, he was so small and I am only five for five. And if you're wondering, if you go to the lake, there is a photo of her and all the other co-workers who work at Lulu Lemon with Brock Bernie. and yeah, he does not look like a He does just look like a guy So Craig and I had this like week long bit at the Super Bowl

Every time we saw an NFL player We're like eh, not that big It's kind of like a normal looking guy We saw Kurt Cousins were just like It's not that big Takeaway. Like I saw Kurt Cousins. I was like so we can relate

You know, Kurt Cousins has made like $500 million in his career Not that big. He's just like whatever It's like my size I asked Shelley what did Brock Pardy purchase at Lulam and we did not get a response. So is that is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, we can't know what Brock spying? I think it's HIPAA.

That's HIPAA, as Dr. Prescott would say. Okay, so, wait, but they, this was after his second game. Did they recognize Brock Purdy on site after a second game? I don't think I would recognize. Do you look at Brock Purdy in a lineup? He introduced himself. Brock Pretty, quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers. I promise.

You can look it up. Google it. playing on YouTube. I just played the box. He's like Ron Burgundy at that party. He's like, many leather books. He bought one pair of leggings and they were sold. They're like, I would rather be with him than Tom Brady. So like, I have some bad news.

You've made a mistake and we have to issue a correction. And a lot of people from Pennsylvania are very mad at you. In our most recent episode. I did see this. I got treated about this. I'm very upset. In our most recent episode, we did two jargons and alive for Pennsylvania town names. And it was between, are they intercourse, blue ball, and bird in hand. And Solac, in his eagerness to leap to conclusion,

it was like, Bird in Hand's the lie. Turns out they were all real. And we accepted Solang's word. I knew Bird in Hand was real. Oh, then Blue Ball was real. Yeah, so Intercourse and Bird in Hand, I knew immediately. And so it was like, oh, Blue Ball is fake. I didn't realize we were getting got and somebody gave three real ones.

I was cheesed. I was had. So, wait, Blue Ball is real? Yeah. So we were all right. All right. Yeah, we were lied to. But anyway, the point is a lot of people in Lancaster County, very upset with us.

Luckily, a lot of the people in these towns are Amish, so I don't think they'll be emailing us. You can say they're big podcast people? Also, correct pronunciation of Lancaster. Well done. Lancaster. It's not Lancaster? No, it's the only way you get that right is if someone from there has told you you're wrong. Lancaster.

I'm very impressed hyphitz. Thank you. But Conner emails him to say there's another town that borders intercourse called paradise. A nether town? There's a nether town near intercourse called paradise. And the joke is that you have to travel through intercourse to get to paradise. Ho-ho.

It's a banger. Sex joke. Nice. Loins guy. What is with my phone? God damn it. Who's calling you? I don't know.

I don't know. You know is in this Zoom call right now. By the way, for the record, Hyphitz admonishes Craig and I because he's like mad at us for and Ben for like looking on Twitter and stuff during the show. And Hyfitz is the only one whose phone ever makes noise during the show. I will say, I'm not looking at it. Which is really funny.

Checking your mentions on Twitter. You know what's funny about that is I texted Hyfitz during this show to say, hey, I just thought of a question, throw to me as if I'm a mailbag submitter. And it says Danny Hyphitz has notifications silenced in our text. Yeah. Oh my God.

And yet you got phone calls. He just says, I am also confused by that. Interesting. Hyvitz is, I want everybody at home to know that Hyvitz is impossible to reach. You don't know. Go, stop it. Slack, text.

I'm just like, if I have a question for Danny Hyvitz, he's like, I don't use Slack on my computer. Oh, I don't use texting on my computer. And I'm like, well, then how can we contact you? Well, originally, we have a work communication called Slack that we use. And then you guys were like, actually, I just want to text from my computer. And so then you shame me at putting text on my computer. and then you guys went back to Slack,

and I was like, dude, it's hard to keep track of. There's a whole thing that we have. There's two options, and neither of them work, though, Hyfitz, is the point. Choose one. He was emailing with the Lulhu's with Shelly,

the Lillian employee. Yeah, I guess I got to email Hyphitz when I have a question for him. Like, hey, this is a mailbag question, and it's like, hey, can I have your audio for the show, please? Well, apparently, you can just call me. Would you mind starting 15 minutes early tomorrow?

I got to email him that now? Unbelievable. Hyphitz just lives in a sensory deprivation tank in between recordings. He just sits there. He hates us so much right now. I can see him being physically upset. I will never forget D.K. lobbying for like six weeks for us to switch the texts and then slacking me. Like, I'll literally never, I'll never forget that moment.

Because I couldn't get a hold of you via text. You wouldn't respond to the text. Because you're like, I don't have it on my computer and I turn my phone off during recordings. I turn my notifications off during the... You know what? Whatever. Ironically, it's so my phone doesn't make noise, but that isn't working.

All right. We have other emails. Damn it. We got to... Someone has a jargon suggestion, or do you want an update... Well, if I say it like this, it's going to be obvious. We also got an update on sex and space.

Okay. But I guess that's like way more interesting. I would like to know about that. We were talking about astroglyde, and then astroglyde is this loob that was invented by a NASA scientist, and we're like, how did you take that home to, like, test it? That seems interesting. But anyway, we're like, has anyone I never had sex in space?

So here's the thing. It's actually really interesting. A guy who was a NASA intern, like 20 years ago, stole a safe with moon rocks in it. Oh, wow. And this is, I'm reading, Rob, it came up with the planet, steal 101 grams of moon rocks, valued it more than $20 million, so that he could literally give his girlfriend the moon, which sounds really romantic until the next sentence,

which is he also wanted to lay the lunar samples out in a bed and have sex on the moon. I mean, is that literally giving your girlfriend the moon? The first question. Right. I'm saying if I send you, if I, if I FedEx you some dirt from Michigan, do you now legally, are you the governor? Like, I don't think that's, I don't find that compelling. I'd be like, this isn't the whole moon. You'd be, you'd be unsatisfied that you didn't get the whole moon.

Well, I just like, I want to give you the moon. He doesn't own the moon now. It's the thing. Here's a rock that just looks like a regular rock. Ben, you can kind of say it. Who's going to stop you? Like, what are they going to do? Why did he steal 101 grams of moon rocks?

Not just like one gram. Well, I think he had to steal the hole safe because he didn't have the combo. Oh, I see. Okay. So I'm being unimpressed with the amount of moon. It's like, I think the last thing I was thinking about when we were talking about this. Like, you're not impressed with the amount.

You're like, that's not enough moon for me? I think the moon, like, if you're, frame it as like, hey, like, this is a moon rock. I got a feel like, oh, cool. If it's like, I love you so much, I want to give you the moon. Here it is. You pull it out of your pocket? I'm like that. It's bigger. It's up there. It's still up there, man.

I committed four felonies to do this. That I would appreciate. That's very romantic. There's nothing more romantic than a crime. There's nothing more romantic. I think I'd be impressed if I got 100 grams of the moon. I'd be like, How much you're just, Craig, you're just easily impressed. Half a pound.

How much is a hundred grams? Decisively not a pound. Half a pound? How many pounds is it? So one kilogram is, uh, 2.2 kilograms is a pound. So one kilogram is less than half of a pound. This is a tenth of one kilogram. So this is a tenth, this is like, this is like four percent of a pound.

No, no, it's a point two pounds. It's like a fifth. Yeah, it's a fifth of a pound. That's not that much smaller. Okay. Close enough. No, four percent of a pound or the fifth of a pound?

I was doing it off the dome. Still wrong. Wait, I have a question. What does this have to do with the astroguide? We were asking if someone had ever had sex in space and so this guy's like, actually this guy was like, I wanted to have sex on the moon. Okay, gotcha.

Gotcha, gotcha. It's like how people like to have sex on money. Like they lay money out on the bed, which has always grossed me out. Sex on money is always grossed you out. Great. Like, the last thing I want is like, I'm going to put on a condom to protect myself from STDs,

but then I'm going to lay over money that millions of people have touched naked. Millions of people have touched it naked. Oh, I see it. I'm going to make it. Okay, got it. Yeah. I don't understand the appeal there. It's always quiet.

I'm wondering if he's, you know, done this with, you know, just a bunch of $100 bills. The money. Yeah, 100%. You can read into my personality. position and assume this is a thing. He just said crimes are romantic. So, of course he's done this. He robbed a bank and then had sex on the money.

You know, we somehow went the entire year without ever talking about that Chiefs fan who would rob banks on the way to Chiefs games to pay for his habit, but wore the mask he wore at games to the bank robbers? How was that not like a Netflix show or a Netflix true crime? He's on the lamb. He skipped bail and he's like missing. I don't know. They might have caught him by now.

Netflix. Let's produce something. That is the most. quintessential Netflix true crime doc that is popular for like six days. It makes the Super Bowl and it gets arrested and it's like worth it. What was the one with the Tigers?

Tiger King. Tiger King. Yeah. It's like that. How is it like that? I don't know. It's a Netflix doc that's popular for six days. Like a flavor of the month true crime. Oh yeah, yeah. Okay, gotcha. Yes. It's a great way to ensure that you're not devastated by your team losing.

You rob a bank before a game. The stakes of the game really have got to feel nominal at best. Playing with house money, if you will. Well, that's tough. But the main thing I was doing today went well. I love that. All right. Lastly here, we were talking about Trader Joe's and how all the people at Trader Joe's are really happy.

But they kind of seem like sometimes like they're happy at gunpoint. Yeah, they're all like robots. We got an email from Jose who says I'm a former employee Trader Joe's and I was fired for not being excited enough to help people. No. No, no, that's not fair. This is insane. Sorry, Jose. And he was like, you have to tell him about the new items we have and how amazing each thing is.

And he struggled with this. He's like, I'm very introverted. And I was eventually fired because I was too quiet. And quote, a black hole of emotions, end quote, which I thought was a bit too far. I just wanted to stock stuff on the shelves and let people be. Wait, they told him verbatim that he was a black hole of emotions? Yeah, it's pretty fucked up thing to say. That's, dude, traitor Joe.

Relax, Joe. It's like, you can't tell Ron Bergen to your glass case of emotions. He can say it about himself, but you can't tell someone else that. That's just kind of messed up. You know what, Jose? You can come to my store that I'm going to open where the employees don't talk to the customers. Introverts. Trader Craigs.

Introverts. No one talks to you. We got to have an introvert store that you can go in physically that you don't have to talk. Oh, intro. There's something in that there's wordplay there. Like, somewhere. Yeah.

It's not coming to my mind right now. The pun isn't coming, but there's something. Well, think about it. Craig's going to text us all at 1.30 a.m. Eastern time. I got it. When I want a name, like, we used to do the German word thing for like, you know, the German word for like, there's a German word for like, you know, eating while you're sad.

And they're like, it's grief bacon. And it's like, I used to just text Craig when I want a word for something. I'm like, what's the word for, what's the word for, when your waiter brings food near you at a table but then walks by you and you thought it was yours and then you get sad. Anytime I want that, I just text Craig to come up with it. I love creating like new mashup words.

Like we need a word for when you're on Instagram or something and then you're reading a post but then it like updates or goes away and then you can't find it. You don't know what the post was. It's gone. How do I find that meme? I wanted to see the meme. What was it?

How did it end? And it's gone. It's like we need a word for that. Anyway. I'll think on that too. All right. NFL draft. Dot the ringer.com.

DK.'s mock draft, solo quarterback charting, team needs, big boards, everything you want. Email us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. If you have questions about the draft,

I mean, more inventions, things about space. Please let us know if you have had sex on any kind of odd inanimate objects. I'd love to know that.

Not animate objects? Definitely not animate objects. Oh, my God. Preferably. stuffed. Straight up Billy Madison. All right. Thank you,

DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Solek. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode.

Thank you, Austin Gail. Thank you, slash, I'm a little hesitant for everyone. Emails at ringerfancy football at gmail.com

for everyone sitting in those stories and not a little word to read them. Thank you, Lord. I want to know what the people are fucking on. You know what I mean? What are kids fucking on these days? What minute are we in here?

66. This is why. Whatever I talk with my mother. And she goes, the podcast about the draft, the one with the very foul mouths. This is what you're talking about. She should just turn it off when there's 15 minutes left bail. The second hymen starts the first outro. Leave.

What are the kids having sex on tidepods? Who knows? Tidepods in. Dildo vapes? Who knows what they got going on these days? That's a good idea. Dildo vape. Kai, write that down. Write that down.

Deltofapes. The guy that sold those partitions for grocery store conveyorboats, I got a new idea for you. Just advertise the astrogline right on the Delta vape. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Wait, wait. Did he do a ban? You don't do the Lauren, man.

I did the Lauren, but Craig was like, what are people talking about? Sorry. Live animals. Who's your band? I'm going with Fall Out Boy, who is playing the NFL draft, apparently. Oh, really? The weirdest.

Yes, with Molly crew. With Motley Crew, wow. Fallout Boy, Motley Crew, and Thunder Cat, who I'm not familiar with. Thunder Cat is like a cool jazz bassist. Well, that sounds badass. Fallout Boy and Motley Crew is, that is literally a motley crew right there.

What is that? Fall Out Boy has some bangers. follow-up they for sure do but like lately uh I think they had an album I mean what about Motley crew dude

you're talking about this is my point this is the two most fucking random bands I could imagine fall boy and motley crew but the kind of people who go to the draft I have I don't think are in the Venn diagram of people who are like yeah I want the new

music that's fair that's probably right this is the Kansas City audience they love Fall Out Boy and Motley crew I can say I'm saying people go to draft have money to spend money to go to the draft like you're probably not 16 bump into the Olivia Rodriguez

album. DK. You're getting people that came up in like the 80s. They're getting people that came up in the 90s and odds. Fall Out Boy came out with an album this year. Okay, name a song. If you like him so much, name five songs. I'm no, I don't I just went on their Spotify. I actually used to listen

to Fall Out Boy. Also, one of the songs 20 years ago. The seventh song on the album is titled The Pink Seashell Parentheses featuring Ethan Hawk The Hollywood actor? What the fuck? The simulation. The simulation is off to rails.

The like mid-50s actor Ethan Hawk? What? Is he in a band that I don't know about? Probably. Wow. I don't know what's weird if he's playing an instrument or just voicing an intro. It does say here, Ethan Hawk is making his debut as a music artist this month in an unexpected place. Iconic pop punk band Fallout Boy.

All right. Well, I'm going to listen to that song. Thanks for the memories. Got my afternoon plan now. There we go. Goodbye, everyone.