The Ringer NFL Show - The 2024 NFL Draft Take Purge

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

LIVE SHOW in Detroit on April 24: Click below for tickets! Welcome to the Take Purge. All NFL draft–related takes, including things you don’t actually believe, will be legal for 60 continuous minutes. All rational thought, logic, and professional credibility will be suspended. Tickets: http://bit.ly/ringerdraft24 Check out our 2024 Ringer NFL Draft Guide here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Craig Horlbeck, Danny Kelly, and Ben Solak Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey there, humanoids. It's the Maskman David Shoemaker. It's a new era in professional wrestling, and that means a new era here at the Ringer Wrestling show. Kaz here, every Monday and Thursday hang out with me and my guys' shoes on the Masked Man show. And Ben Cruz here. Come kick it with me, Cal and Brian on Tuesdays for Ringer Wrestling worldwide, where we hit on the most interesting headlines and even react to some of Maskedmans and even your hottest takes. Don't tap out. Tap in to the Ringer Wrestling show feed now on Spotify. or wherever you get your podcasts. Worldwide. This is not a test. This is your emergency podcast system

announcing the commencement of the annual take purge. At the siren, all takes, including things you don't actually believe, will be legal for 60 continuous minutes. No players, coaches, or media members of any kind will be granted immunity. All rational thought, logic, and professional credibility will be suspended. The Ringer Podcast Network thanks you for,

your participation. May our take God, Chris Sims, be with you all. Welcome to the Ringer NFL draft show. I got to be honest. I nailed that on it. That's some of my best work. Craig, I couldn't disagree more. Liz hard carried.

I know two things about Liz. Your wife, take her intro. And she might be like legit, like the only person of my life batting a thousand. Everything Liz Kelly has done that I'm aware of, elite, incredible. She's the voiceover goat, like for real. That was perfect.

Honestly, yeah. And the fact, Chris Sims has only solidified his status as to take God since we recorded that. Yeah, welcome to the Ring Renifil Jaff show. I forgot about Chris. My name is Danny Heifitz, and I'm joined by Danny Kelly, Ben Sloke and Craig Rollback three men ready to cleanse their souls. D.K. Are you ready to purge? I'm legitimately nervous.

We talk about like the pregame shits, you know? Like, I got like a little stuff like the butterfly is going on in my stomach right now. Like I'm ready. Let's do this. I feel like it's back in high school getting ready for a basketball game right now. Hell yeah. You know, we should have all worn those like rip-off warm-up pants. And then when the siren goes, we rip them off.

That's the move. That's the move right there. And for those listening for the first time, first welcome, we're excited for you to be here with us for The Purge. And we cover the draft for a long time. I mean, we started this draft show here, I mean, back in December. Really, we've been covering this year's draft, frankly, since last year's draft. And you do it for so long, so many thoughts, so much energy, so much time, so many players, so much to... You get these unwanted, intrusive thoughts.

And they're not necessarily things you believe, but they are things you think. And so in an effort, a necessity to stay sane, a desire to remain a functioning member of not just society, but also professional media, we once a year purge our takes

that are just rattling around our brains so that we can cleanse ourselves and bathe in the light of all that is good for the other 364 days. Here we go. Craig legit feels legit emotion during this time. It's unbelievable.

Oh, my God. Oh, man. I can feel it. I can feel it. No rules. Do you guys like to start with your biggest purge, your biggest take, or do you like to work your way up to it? It's the one that I've come closest to saying during the year, right?

Like in the same way, the purge is like, which crime do I have I been like, oh, man, I really want to do this? Like, this is the take that I've been needing to get out. I've been waiting for the take birds to get to get this out. Craig, you're bursting at the seams. I feel like you got to just say it. I think John and Jim Harbaugh should swap lives like Fritz Peterson and Mike Teckich from the 1973 New York Yankees. That's good. It is clear that Jim.

that Jim Harbaugh is trying to turn the Los Angeles Chargers just into the Ravens. He brought in Greg Roman. He signed Gus Edwards. They just signed J.K. Dobbins. They got rid of their wide receivers. They want to run and play bully ball. That's Ravens football.

Meanwhile, in Baltimore, the Ravens hired Todd Monkin. They draft a first round wide receiver. They bring in Odell Beckham. They're trying to spread the ball around with Lamar and pass more. That's not Ravens football. Get those guys to L.A.

So they can cook. Justin Herbert and draft Marvin Harrison and get Jim and his RV to Baltimore so he can run triple options and win games 14 to 10 with Lamar Jackson. Incredible take. This isn't even a hot take. This needs to happen. I love this. I think what else is wild about this is the Harbars of the kind of family that like, if

this makes it to them, they might be like, they might have the discussion. Jim's probably halfway to Baltimore right now. Now, you brought up careers. You brought up jobs. But at the top of the take, you said live. Are we talking families? Personal life. That's included just because why not go all the way?

Like Hyford said, they seem like the type of guys. Jim Harbaugh seems like he's down for everything as long as it makes his football team better. Brothers got to share. Brothers got to share. I need Jim Harbaugh coaching the Ravens and I want John coaching the charges. It makes sense. They're in the wrong situations right now. They just don't know it yet.

Who has it better? than us. Craig, that's a masterclass right there. That's how it's done. I did not see that coming at all. You didn't? You didn't see a Fritz Peterson, Mike Kekich. I probably should.

I probably should have. Out of the gate. Yeah. It just makes too much sense. I hate what Jim Harbaugh is doing to discharge his team in Justin Herbert. Go to the Ravens. Do it over there. They have Derek Henry.

Isn't that what you want? Man. Perfect. I have no thoughts. I will say that. like I'm thinking of Chargers Jim in his, the picture they posted of him. How many layers?

Yeah, exactly. Wearing his big bulky shirt and looking a little peculiar. I feel like he's, he's, I can't, like John Harbaugh is too normalized. I know John Harbaugh's not normal.

I know he's also crazy, but I can't envision John stepping into Jim's shoes. I can see Jim stepping into John's shoes because it's an escalation of Harbaugh. John stepping into Jim's shoes is a de-escalation of Harbaugh. That feels that you can't,

once you go gym, you can't go back. Jim is like a 10 out of 10 crazy and John is like an 8 out of 10 crazy which is still crazy but compared to Jim he's like a pretty normal dude It's a good cop, bad cop DK

Good Harbaugh bad Harbaugh There you go DK do you age before beauty here I think Ben wants to say something I want Ben to go I think you want an itching No so like you have been itching for this episode for weeks please take us away

I Caleb Lames and Drake May is the next Patrick Mahomes Josh Allen Ooh when you watch Caleb you very clearly see Mahomes but man like as I've said like you know like I comp Drake May to Trevor Lawrence

and some people talk about Justin Herbert every so often man Drake makes some Josh Allen plays like think about what people talk about with like oh he's got bad lower body mechanics that leads to accuracy drain in the short area that's what we were saying Josh out of Wyoming oh he's too aggressive and he throws these

the interceptible passes down the feeling he's throwing into these tight windows that's Josh and Buffalo another thing that people don't realize and like this is also in the charting data and people I don't like talk about this with May May is a real good scrambler when May gets outside of the pocket he's a great thrower when he tucks the ball

he is he breaks angles from linebackers and he can he can survive contact as well now he doesn't hold a candle to Jaden because nobody holds a candle to Jaden like Jaden's like a legit Lamar Jackson caliber dude right like I know bones about it like the best passer who runs in this class is Jaden Daniels

But Drake May is like, he presents the same issues that Josh does, a little bit smaller, the same issues Josh does when he gets on the hoof in terms of like, this is a big boy moving fast. So he, like,

there are plenty of plays on Drake Mae's film where he reminds you of Josh coming out of Wyoming and early Josh in Buffalo and late Josh in Buffalo. And then the Caleb-a-home thing is pretty set. If we get Caleb in Chicago and Drake May in Minnesota, it might be that like every single year, the question is, when are the Bears and Vikings playing?

Like week 18 Monday night football because both of those teams are expected to be in the hunt for the division, in the hunt for the conference, and with two of the greatest young quarterbacks in the league. I think the next Mahomes Allen is Caleb Williams-Drakeme. I think that they're going to be the defining quarterbacks along with like Jordan Love and Cedger Stroud

of like 2025 and beyond. I think this is the next era right here. I got to say, I'm excited for the Bears to be good. Like they're a franchise that in my entire life, I've never seen them as a competent team. And it's like I know historically they've had, you know, a lot of success, maybe not a ton, but, you know, the 85 bears, like, they're just such a franchise that I expect.

There's a few of those. I feel like in every sport where they weren't good in our era. So I have trouble believing, like when my dad's like, oh, you don't understand. Like the 85 bears were like a different beast. I'm just excited for the bears to be, like, relevant and good again. Yeah, totally. I totally agree.

So, I mean, my, so related to this, one of my purges for Caleb Williams is, Caleb Williams will be the biggest Chicago athlete since Michael Jordan by Halloween. Who is he competing against? Probably just Derek Rose. Like, I think that, like, to that point, though, I think that we're underrating two things, how much football still matters in Chicago.

And also, the Bears have never had a good quarterback. I know I've said, but we still haven't discussed this enough. Like, the Bears of Caleb Williams, very seriously, could set the Bears single season passing yards record as a rookie. The Bears have never had a 4,000-yard passer ever. The Bear's single-season record for passing is like 3,800 yards. His overrunner on Fandle is a rookie is 3,300. Like, Caleb Williams could literally break every Bear's record for passing as a rookie.

Like, it could be the best Bears' offensive in Bears' history as a rookie, his first season. And if that stuff happens, like, I mean, we're not just talking about the Bears having basically a great offense to the first time ever. But like, Jay, like, he could be the best Bears quarterback by Halloween. Jay Culler was 500 as a passer. Like Jim Harbaugh was better on the Colts than the Bears. Like they've never done this. And then now we're talking about wider still.

The Bears, the Jaguars of Trevor Lawrence, the Bears that have Caleb Williams, the Bengals of Joe Burrow, like all these teams that couldn't find quarterbacks forever. The Lions almost made the freaking Super Bowl. Like the NFC North is this incredible division, but also all these teams that were bad for so longer becoming like really excited. You might be right about the Chicago athlete.

I'm trying to think, you know, the Cubs World Series and, in 16. You know, Anthony Rizzo, maybe, Chris Bryant. People just don't care about baseball enough anymore. The team might be big. Well, in Chicago, that broke out, what is it, 1008 years streak?

There were a couple, now, the Chicago hockey team was good for several years. And they had Jonathan Tows. I don't know how to say his last name, Patrick Kane, which I know were big people in Chicago. Oh, Patrick Kane. I think Patrick Kane, yes. And then I think Patrick Kane's bigger than any one of the clubs. I'm sorry that we're Chicago.

Chicago people tell us what you think. Yeah, email us what you think. your fantasy football at gmail.com. But I just think football is so much larger than hockey, that a good quarterback in Chicago. Like, there's never been one. People are going to freak out. So basically, what, like, I think,

right, like, if Caleb is, like, Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rogers level of a player, I think there's no question, right? But you're saying, like, by Halloween. So rookie season-wise, he would need to have, like, a Justin Herbert caliber debut where he walks out of the field. And from game one, you're like,

what the heck? Like, oh my God. Like, this is, this is all that in a bag of chips. Yeah, I want this stuff is so bad. Stop couching everything. Stop, like, stop giving, like, Oh, he's going to be a rookie, blah, blah, blah. Like, he's going to be awesome.

Like, right away. He's so good. He's going to be everything we thought he would do. We want, like, week one, they beat the lions, like, 35 to 10. And everyone's like, oh, my God. We are back. Not to mention, what if they start 0, and 6? Like, he will not be boring.

Like, even if Caleb Williams is bad, can you imagine the takes that will be generated by Skip Bayliss and people if Caleb Williams is bad? Like, it's going to be the least, it's going to be, like, the least boring football player we've ever had. I think, I think the spicy part of that take is by Halloween, because that implies that he does, it's so fast. He has it in two months

of playing. That's the part that's like, that's heat. I don't think it'll take a couple years, but I'm with you there. That's the take purge part of this. That's the intrusive thought is the Halloween part. It's like this year. All right, D.K. It was the take purge. All right. This one's not quite as spicy as that, but Florida

State running back, Trey Benson is a first round talent and it's like none of you even care. This guy, this guy is incredible. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills half the time. Some people have him ranked as like the RV3 or four or five or whatever in this class. I'm like, this guy is fucking awesome. What else do you want in a running back?

6 foot 216, prototypical size, home run speed. He was clocked at 22 miles an hour on a touchdown run last year against Virginia Tech. 439 in the 40 at 216 pounds. He is one of the best tackle breaking running backs in college football history, number one among Power 5 running backs over the past decade among players with 300 carries in career mistackles force per carry per PFF. This is one of the best tackle breaking running backs of all time, according to PFF.

stats. And people don't care. I don't get it. I don't care that he has like a few plays where he runs around too much. He's awesome. He hits home runs. He has explosive play potential. He is like Breece Hall style running back and people aren't excited about him. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. What else do you, what else do you want from him? This is a boomer ass take. Running backs are back. They don't get enough respect. Boomer fantasy brain take. I'm all in. TK., what team should he go to? Where will he thrive immediately? I saw that. Dude, I saw that he visited with the Giants.

Take over for Sequin. Second round. I mean, I just, I'm sorry, I just don't think Devin Singletary is a difference. I thought about the Bengals. I know they brought in Zach Moss, but like Benson gives me mixing vibes at times. Well, they know how to deal with. Because like,

D.K., it was a great tirade, good stats, everything like that. Benson makes nine decisions a game that are so unacceptable. Nine is, nine is, Nine is such a ridiculous exaggeration because he only gets nine carries again. Yeah. That's true. That's fair.

I'll give you that one. Yeah. That is correct. Yeah. So Bengals, maybe. Yeah. But I agree. Excellent tape version of D.K.

Me, high fits Craig. We're going for like capital murder or whatever crime is. D.K.'s just out here like minor larceny. I'm getting, I'm warming up. Look, I'm warming up. All right. Yeah. D.K.'s robbing a 7-11 grabbing snacks going home, putting on a movie.

The God's honest truth is. like the thing that I've been the most frustrated about this entire draft, like, period, this, like, starting in, like, January is, like, the rankings that people have Trey Benson as, like, their RV3 or four. I'm like, I just don't get it. I'm looking around, like, what am I missing? I don't get it. Anyway, love Trey Benson.

I really want, I'm rooting so hard for the Vikings to not get a quarterback. I want it so bad, dude. It's no hostility. Sam. I'm a big, like, I'm a big, like, I'm a big, like, serve chaos guy when it comes to the draft. Like, the way the draft is fun is if it makes absolute chaos. And without question, like, dude, Quessia Adolfo Mensa,

who I think is, like, generally, like, approaching this trade the right way and, like, making it clear his intentions, and they have two first round pictures here and great. He's been walking around with a chest out, right? Like, they made no bones about the fact they'd like to trade. And last week, Kevin Sefer wrote for ESPN a piece about the biking trading up. And all of a sudden, after, like, seven, eight weeks of the, the Vikings being like, oh, a development.

Oh, young quarterbacks, this, that, everything. Questi's talking about there's prices, you don't want to go too far past, and there's a point of no return, you don't want to be too aggressive. It's like, oh, is trading up a little bit harder than we thought it was going to be?

Is the madness coming from Denver and Las Vegas making this a bit more challenging than we thought it would be? Now, like, with the Vikings, as clearly pot committed as they are to get one of the top four, imagine the universe, dude, where they can't.

They pick at 11, they pick at 23. They probably trade back, for whatever. They pick it 11 and 23. They get two elite players. They get like an elite corner. Quina Mitchell walks and dominates, all right? 23, they go to get the last of the three edge rushers, right? They go and they get a, Gerzon Newton.

They get a great defensive tackle. And then they walk out next year and the roster is flawless, right? The defensive, the ups and downs have improved. They have better talent. Jefferson's healthy. T.J. Hawkinson's back healthy. They're throwing the ball around the yard. The lion's playing elite.

And it's Sam Darnold back there. And everybody with all of their Darnold stock is just like, they're six and two. Sam's got great stats. Everybody knows it's fake, but we can't help ourselves. Everybody wants to be the first one to be like that. Listen, Sam's legit. Like, this is finally it. Sam's coming around.

I need that discord. Can you imagine Stephen Ruiz having to grade Sam Donald on the QB rankings next year? If the Vikings are good and Donald's just back there doing Darnold for content, I need the Vikings to miss on the top four quarterback. I'm rooting for it so hard. Not actually. Don't hold it against the Vikings fans, but I, and to take bird sense, I am.

I love that take. I think that's perfect. It is funny because there's just this assumption that the Vikings are going to have enough to trade up. Like, it's not easy to make these trades, especially when other teams feel that they have leverage over you, you know what I mean? Can I stick in the NFC North real quick

and do one of my take purges? Sure. I've been thinking about this. This is just how the world works. And I'm not deciding this. I don't have any. What a great preface. This is just how the world works.

This is just how things work. I don't have any like animosity towards this team or or bias against this team. The lions are hurtling toward the worst draft class of all time. Wow. Brad Holmes fast. Brad Holmes, you ever heard the expression pride comes before the fall? Brad Holmes is feeling himself. Brad Holmes is the gym.

Brad Holmes has been spiking the football for a while. He's like doing the fucking touchdown dance, like spiking it in front of like. You know what I mean? Like he's like going for a handshake and then taking his hand away kind of act like you've been there before Detroit. Can you explain, Dika, explain the things Braddles.

Okay. So obviously people panned the Lions draft last year because they took a running back and a linebacker in the first round. And then, you know, it ended up being a really good draft for them. They got a bunch of contributors. If you like move everybody around where they took them,

it would have looked like how I think draft nerds like me would have liked it where you're taking premium positions early and then you end up getting like other good things later. Running back and lineback are two lowest paid positions outside of kicker and Right. So people pan their draft and obviously things worked out for the lines. They look great this year. Brad Holmes in the postseason presser to all the media was like calling dudes out by name for like shit they said about the draft class.

He's just like puffing his like pounding his chest. He's so pumped. He's like, you don't know fuck all. I know what I'm doing. Fuck you. Like I said, he actually didn't say that, but like that's essentially what he's saying. And then this week it came out He was like bragging to the media

Again about how like sometimes you have to be a lone wolf In the draft room like you have to Sometimes you're the only one You have to go against all your scouts Who want someone different Isn't he saying nobody wanted Leporta but he did and Right he wouldn't say who the player was Yeah but he said like me and Dan Campbell

Are the only two who wanted them and the scouts didn't And we took him anyway and it worked out Which is like hey Brad Hire better scouts Maybe you're your employees Brad You put him that This is not the stunt you think it is, brother. It's like a hot girl surrounding herself by Oggos,

just to be like, why am I the only hot one here? I'm so good at drafting. DK., this is an amazing, amazing take because you're so right, where Brad Holmes says, he is Jack Golky. He has made eight threes in a row. And it's like, so I'll just keep doing this forever. I got it. This is who I am.

No, Jack Golky was humble as hell. What are you talking about? Jack Golky was like, look, I'm not going to the NBA. Jack Golky was like, oh, that's pretty sick, isn't it? He's like, man, that was crazy. Here's the deal. My point is, I don't actually have any press. problem with Brad Holmes, like, talking shit because, you know, people shit on these GMs all the time.

Like, we talk about how dumb they are, blah, blah, blah, like, I have no problem with them clapping back. The problem I see, and this is just how the world works. I'm sorry, you have no option now. You're going to put together the worst draft of all time. Every single one of your picks is going to suck. They're all going to be busts because that's how the draft works. Look at John Schneider. He drafted like five Hall of Famers in two seasons. And then for the next six years, he couldn't, he couldn't find a starter in the draft. So what you're saying is, is basically Brad Holmes,

you got lucky, buddy. 100%. 100%. I have nothing against Brad Holmes, personally. I think it's fine. Look, this is the take purge. You're not responsible

for anything you are saying right now. You actually won't even remember this. I think 100% honest. I don't know anything. I don't really know that much about him. I think it's great that he like claps back. I'm just saying he's setting himself for a terrific,

tremendous failure here. So just sorry, Lions fans. That's how it goes. This is how the world works. This is how the draft works. It's all the last. luck. It's all random. It's like investing in the stock market. Sometimes you look hot for a little

while there. And then the rest of the time, you're just like fucking picking the worst. What I really need is I need Brad Holmes to have a draft that like the nerds love. Like he gets like every top player on the consensus board, good positional value. He trades up and steals a guy who's falling. We all go nuts for it. And then that class sucks. And then Brad Holmes has to come to his presser next year and be like, you guys thought it was great. I don't know. That's what I'm room for. Yeah. Anyways, I don't want this to happen. I'm just telling you this is what's going to happen. I love this. I could run an NFL team. No. I'm down. I'm down. Really good general manager. I'd be great at it. You'd be just as good as all the other ones. I'm a billionaire. I'm Josh

Harris. Sell me on it. I want to be clear about something. I could never be a head coach. I could never be a coordinator. I couldn't be a quality control coach. I could barely like get these guys water. nothing in coaching I could do. Dude, being a general manager is 100%. I would make a Super Bowl. Okay. I'm an owner. Sell me.

Can you expand on that? I don't want to flex here, but I managed nine fantasy football teams. I made five championships last year, one three of them. And I also managed three-based finish. Look at you. I mean, D.K.

could run three teams then based on how many fantasy teams he has. There you go. So I'm saying if I only had to run one team, I got to run one team? Dude, I'm talking three fantasy baseball. I love this. Like, I got to run one team.

I'll give up fantasy baseball too. And I'm like, dude, 100% I would make a Super Bowl. It's not that hard. Also, these guys are terrible at it. Hyphitz's 2024 fantasy season. I'm just calling it right now. Fucking last place in every fucking team.

I'm Bradholmes. Hypatth is literally Bradholmes. Just saying, this is a great segue. I love this take, Hyphitz. Bet on yourself, man. This is great. I support you.

Can I be in your front office? with you, I'll do whatever. Let's do it. I don't think it's that hard. Coaching, so hard. Also, this actually connects into my next one. You know what? My grand plan is general manager. So, like, you're the billionaire. I'll pitch you. I have an idea.

Guys, I have, I have an idea. I would hire Bill Belichick. Just to thought. I have an, I know. This is the take version. I might not. I might not have, I know I don't know what I'm doing, guys. I know I don't know what I'm doing. We're between three people here. see at our list. We got Dave

Canales, let's see here. It says here Bill Belichick had won five Super Bowl rings while Dave Canales is still a high school offensive coordinator. It says here. Oh, Brian Callahan's on this list. Brian Callahan. Man, I see he great resume here with Brian Callan. I'm sure he's a nice guy. Let's see here. He helped Peyton Manning 35

years old at quarterback. I'm sure he needed a lot of help. I also see here, Bill Belichick who had been in 15 conference championship games before Brian Callahan was a coordinator. I don't know, man. Who could say? I love the idea of a pissed off Bill Belichick coming and just freaking laying waste to the NFL be like you forgot about me.

I also, I love the contradiction or like the duality of Hyphitz saying he could be an amazing GM and then saying he would hire Bill Belichick who would then actually strip Hyphitz of all of his GM duties and make all of the deal of himself. Bill Bollich would get you out of the building. You know what that's called? His self-lessness. If his team is winning championships, it doesn't matter if Hiface is a figurehead. Yeah, that sounds to me like a great deal.

He doesn't have to fire me. I'll just be there and put me in some office, whatever. That's called being good at my job. Cash those checks, brother. Absolutely. Gentle manager, cuss your job. I don't know if I said this on the hottest take podcast, but this is like my take that I said I could go three for five from three in an NBA game.

Three for five. If I had five open shots, I think I could hit three. I just believe that. I have a take I've always dreamed on getting off on the hottest take and I was like, oh, they'll never do it again. But I can probably just get it off here because it's a taste close enough.

Without question, the single most overrated thing in the entire world is eating. Eating, it's so boring. It takes forever. You and Kai. It takes so long for such little return on investment, man. I just have to do this again

and I have to do this again in four hours. What? This is crazy. I cannot tell you if I could wake up every morning and eat a, like, eat a pill or like press a button and then just have the energy I need for the rest of the day in a heartbeat, dude. And never taste anything ever again without question. Ben, you should start smoking cigarettes. Yeah, that'll continue where I want to go. Yeah, you'll never be hungry again and you'll be wired the whole day.

That's kind of your dream. Do you and we need to do some testing on like your taste buds. Let me say this is a phenomenal take. We already know the test. Solek, don't you have a very bad sense of smell? Yes, and accordingly, I have a very bad sense of taste. And so, it's like olfactory and goose story sense are linked. The really sad thing is that my wife loves to cook and loves great food and wants to cook.

But like, dude, you couldn't give less of a shit. I don't, I could not give less of a hoot. A hoot. It is nowhere. You're telling me that I got like, like, okay, I'd, 2 p.m. I got to remember to take this out of the fridge so I can marinate this with that. So that way I could do this with the other thing and make a healthy use to do coos cooce john and I get some carbohydrates and vitamins and to just do it again tomorrow.

This doesn't do anything for me, man. And I like to cook like when if y'all, you'll come over. I'll cook you like barbecue. I have some good food. Like I like how happy it makes people when like I put like, oh, good meal out for everybody. They love it. But dude, for me personally, I want, I want to eat every day a fast food hamburger that I spent no time preparing, that just tastes good, and then I'll die at 50.

That sounds ideal. Salads, ridiculous. Just ludicrous. We're eating that, John. It's unbelievable. Eating is a waste of time. It's such a waste. It takes so long to eat.

He's too efficient. He's a robot. It's literally the biggest waste of time. Eating the salad for 15 minutes. Have you ever had a smoothie? I feel like smoothies can change your life. Dude, I love a smoothie. Smoothies are great.

Knock them out. Take too long. I got six minutes to make a smoothie, dude. It takes forever. I got stuff to do. So I, when I'm not like, when I'm just on my usual tempo when I'm at home, I intermittent fast because I just, I don't. Because he forgets to eat.

I don't get hungry. Not for help, but for one place to forget to eat. I usually eat for the first time in a day around like 3.3.30. What? Because I'm just like doing stuff. I'm going around and business. And then all of a sudden I get super hungry. And I was like, dude, how does this happen?

And my wife's like, well, you didn't eat. And I'm like, that's dumb. Like, I should just be fine. Cheese at night. Is it because you're, you like the texture of cheese or is that your body's literally revolting because I'm in desperate need of calories? I thought you like gardening and stuff. Don't you?

Aren't you growing vegetables and things? D.K., I can't tell you enough. Like, it is a perfect setup between me and mare because the only stuff I care about in gardening is the success of getting a plant to grow. To me, that's incredible. You don't care about eating it. The cultivation of it and like understanding the unique environment. It takes you six months to grow.

a tomato and then you eat it for five minutes and then you start a little again. That's the process that you like. But I grow flowers as well because I enjoy the process of growing. I think like the nature of it and the resiliency of these plants the way they've adapted and the environment

and the science of it is beautiful. The second I see a tomato on the vine, I don't care about the plant anymore. Like I'm just like, all right, cool, sick. Like I did, I win. And then that's the point which mayor cares because mayor's like, oh cool, a tomato. I don't know if the grocery shop.

Then she gets it. She's excited. So it's a perfect handoff. But like I care so much more about like starting things from seed and like mixing good soil mixtures like abending my beds I do science on the pH of the soils

it's so fun the second I have a potato I'm like okay whatever I feel like I learned a lot about you just now I think it's so gas dude you gotta hire this guy in your front office I feel like he just nailed the interview

he's like dude I literally won't eat for this job that's how dialed I am I'm like check the pH of our team I'm dude I'm telling you I can run a team I'm telling you I kind of feel like most of the players

in this class are gonna suck I feel like this class isn't very good Maybe this isn't even a hot take Wow Because I feel like that is To be clear when you say the class Are you talking about the overall 230 players You're talking about the first round?

I think it's a very top heavy class There's some really good blue chip talent At the very top of the class And then there's like a hundred guys That will be fine players in the NFL But not This isn't gonna be like If you say a few blue chip

You're talking about five or 20 or what Like how many players are you like? Like maybe 10 Okay 10 guys that are good. There's three really good receivers. There's three elite receivers who I would bet on in the NFL. There's like, I think there's probably going to be two quarterbacks.

Like I agree with that two to three quarterbacks in this class will be very good in the NFL. And Brock Bowers. And then like maybe one of the tackles. I don't know. Sometimes I don't know what I was putting this. Maybe I just, I don't know. Maybe because I got sick. I got sick halfway through studying this class and like kind of missed like a week or two here.

And maybe that was just like. coloring how I look at this class, but I can't get that excited about like the top after like the top 10 or 15 guys. I can't get excited about the rest of this class other than Trey Benson. Who's awesome. I just feel like this is going to be a class we look back on and it's like, yeah, that class was pretty bad. Name some names. Who are some guys people are excited about where you're like, nah? Brian Thomas, A.D. Mitchell.

Dallas Turner. Dallas Turner. Chop Robinson. Chop Robinson has a way massive variance of way. where he could be in the NFL. Nate Wiggins. I also, I have a Dallas Turner

take Purge actually myself, but we can wait. You can pull it up. I can save that. Is it after doing his name? I think, I'm about to say, I think I can guess

what your Dallas Turner take, take is. Do you want to guess? Is that a hundred percent of porn star name? Oh. That is it?

I think it might be. Who has the balls to go to porn hub right now and type in Dallas Turner? Not me. You're probably right. The balls.

Who has the balls to go to the woods right now? Who has the balls to look at The library on the internet. My Dallas Turner take purge, Edd Rush at Alabama. Dallas Turner has like a lot of outside interests and I hate that. Yeah, yeah. Good take.

Good take. Speaking of beat. Hifin's going to be good GM. He hates it when they have outside interests. Yeah, Dallas Turner's dad worked on Wall Street. It's very successful. And so Dallas Turner has a lot of business interests. Apparently he's been a hustler.

And like his term, like proudly like like, like, you know, literally, I think he had literally had a lemonade stand with his kid turned $100 and $800. He like, Dallas Turner. Turner, when he went to Alabama, he has, and this is from a story in the athletic, Dallas Turner's equity ownership in several companies, including his father's venture capital firm, Seven Hills, in which Dallas is a limited partner. And Dallas says, I've always liked doing business, selling things, stuff like that. I'm getting older now, just viewing things in different ways, and things you can branch out to to become a successful businessman, especially today with

e-commerce and everything being online, a lot of opportunities out there. And you know what? That's so cool. I love there's a college kid with that kind of entrepreneurial. mindset. I love that. Having said that, yeah, go play for someone else. Good take. Yeah, we'll look out for football. This is like, that's cool. If it's like low key talking about Kvon-Tibodoo. Yeah, no, I know, I know.

To be clear, like, I feel bad. Like, I know it's, I very much, I love guys having outside interests and stuff and I like love it. I believe it. This is for intrusive thoughts. These are things that are rattling around my head. I don't want to, but I just keep thinking, you know what, maybe focus on football. You're like 20 years old. Can I piggyback off that before I give my next real take? I got one too.

I think the vibes on Caleb Williams in his whole career is like, I don't think they're great. I don't think Caleb Williams vibes as a person are that great. I'm not talking about the paint and the nails thing or the crying to his mom thing. I actually don't give a shit about that. I'm talking about the fact that like at age 10, his father created something that they called the plan. And he, they hired sports psychologists and had specialized diets and woke him up at 5 a.m. every day to work out as a 10 year old.

Caleb, yeah, at like 25 years old, he's going to be like, I don't want to do this anymore. He wants to be the JZ of the NFL and be a true entrepreneur. I'm just like all the vibes. Like he's so good on the field that I could. No one really thinks about that. But like, I don't know. It's like a mix of Andre Agassi and like, what's his name from Iraqi 4, the Russian guy? Drago.

Drago where it's just like, I don't know. He was like, this never works out. Like this trajectory is like the villain in the movie who loses. I don't know. I like that. That's good. I agree. I also feel like

when he is elite, it'll then immediately flip and be like, well, because in like this year or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's always the tricky thing about it. Yeah. There's a little bit of like Andrew Luck to this

where I think Andrew Luck was pushed into his track in life very early on. You know, his dad coached him up or whatever. He's like, he got on that train. He was going to be a pro. quarterback for his entire life. He got to the NFL, got beat to shit. And then he was like,

ah, I think I'm just going to not do this anymore. And I never once look back. Like, look at him now. He's like 175 pounds. Did you see him recently? Like, there was a video of him recently. I'm like, dude, this guy is so skinny. It's wild. He's like, yeah, you know what? I'd rather get hurt snowboarding than playing football. Snowboarding is just living his best life out there. And he doesn't give a shit about football anymore. I would love to get, if we could get Andrew luck to come on this podcast and not talk about football, I would be so thrilled to just talk about architecture for an hour. Just chat.

I tell it to matter all the time. I'm like, you, it's really important we ruin our kids' life. Like, it's critical. That like, push them into something they hate.

What I need is for other parents to think I'm cooking. And if that's at a cost, our daughter, it's at a cost to our daughter. This is, it's about me. All right.

So, yeah, I really admire Papa Luck and Papa Williams. That's great. High Fitz, I have one that, I have one that will piggyback off of the Dallas Star one real quick and then Craig you get to years.

I've been feeling it more and more lately. And it goes, It's based on things I've been hearing and that are picking up steam lately. I think Byron Murphy, the defensive tackle, is going to go before any of the edge rushers in this draft. He's going to go like top 10. Byron Murphy, top 10 pick plus 750, baby. Yeah. Let's go.

And it's like, high fits like you just convinced me even more, like the off field stuff with Dallas Turner. I think there's some question marks about what you're off field stuff. He has interest. Offield concerns. You know what. All field concerns. He cares. came out wrong.

You know what I meant? No, that's great. This is a take bird. No, no, no, no, no, don't roll back. In the draft rooms,

they're like, unironically. This fucking guy has hobbies. We think off field concerns are like, you know, crimes. And in the stadium, in the building,

they're like, yeah, he cares about all their things. Offield interests. But anyways, teams do care about this shit, is what I'm saying. And I think there are question marks about what he does

on the field as well. Obviously, he's a great athlete and has a ton of length. But, and I heard, I think I heard Daniel Jeremiah I talked about this the other day. It's like, if you look at the landscape of the NFL, there's a whole bunch of elite

pass rushers in the league. And there's like five elite defensive tackles who can really make a difference. And so if you look at like positional scarcity, the idea of getting an elite defensive tackle, a guy who can mess up the pocket, the impact he brings, he's like making like 20, 25 million a year. Like you look at Christian Wilkins, for instance, like got this massive deal. Like the value you get from a guy like that in the draft as a rookie. draft as a rookie contract is is pretty massive. So I think there's a chance that he could go at high.

I was hearing at the combine that he might be a top 10 pick. And that kind of surprised me because no one was talking about that. And then now I'm hearing it again more and more and more. I think there's a real chance Byron Murphy goes before all the edge rushers. This was kind of like a serious one. I wasn't like joking around. But yeah. How dare you?

No, but the defensive tackle market exploded. But honestly, what else got paid a lot was linebackers and free agency got paid a lot. And again, it's the supply and demand. that happens a good amount when teams look at the draft. Like, oh, we're not going to solve that problem here. So you're right. Where Brian Murphy, maybe even, you know, we've been talking about Josan Newton, Johnny Newton out of Illinois.

And I'm like, well, teams might look at one, maybe two defensive tackles. And they're like, hmm, that's probably it. So I think that makes a lot of sense. I like that. Yeah. I agree. I also think Jared Veras Loki could go to the Bears at nine. Like, I think there's a lot of a lot going to happen.

Can I go here? I have like five more. And I know we're kind of like already do it. Already well into this. but I've really only given one full one, which was the John and Jim Shub Swap Lives. I kind of think Michael Penix is going to be the second best quarterback

in this draft class. Yeah. I kind of had this take, too. This is for this podcast only, right? Nobody else can listen to this. This is just us. Just us. Talk to us. Yeah, yeah.

I can't get those two games from Pennix out of my head. I can't get the Oregon and Texas games out of my head. Pax 12th championship, 27 for 39, 319. First Texas, 29 for 39, 430 yards, two touchdowns, no picks. I don't need to see anymore. I think about that line from the Simpsons movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger, I think, is the president

and they bring him something like a folder with like all these papers to read. He doesn't read any of them. And he goes, I came here to lead, not to read. I'm like, look, I've seen all I need to see. Very compelling. Very compelling. The back foot dimes, like hitting throw after throw in big moments,

pressure in the face. Like I believe that the later Michael Penix gets drafted, the better he will be. Like, look, I get it. I know he had a Grado line and a really good wide receiving court at Washington. So, like, great.

Have the Vikings draft him. If he goes to Atlanta at 43, the Eagles at 50, the Rams at 52, Miami is 55. Like, I think there's a chance that Michael Panics could step in to a team at 28 years old, like Steve Young

and just be fucking amazing. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I love this take. I also think, obviously, the Georgia defense is better than the Texas defense, but after the way C.J.

Stroud last year, all the questions about how good he was. And then it's like he played incredible against Georgia. And obviously that's a defensive full of NFL players. The Texas defense is not as good. Having said that, it's almost like, Pennix, where would Michael Pennix be drafted if they had like, if he had played perfectly, but then they had just lost the game.

Because Texas almost won that game. They almost came back and won. Like if they had just lost and that was the last few so of Pennix, I feel like he probably would be going 13 to the Raiders, like no matter what. But then he played one more game. So I had this take too, And basically my take was Michael Penning's going to be a 10-year starter in the NFL. Maybe five since he's so old.

But he's just too old. Five years from now, it will be 40. Real quick, since we're against the clock. Take Purge. I would never draft a player over the age of 22 and take Purge. Keep going, D.K.? Yeah. So I'm not even.

We hate Michael Pennings' age, but Jaden Daniels being 23 almost. I hate that. No one cares about that. I do hate that. Also, take Purge. One of Jadeners are Malik neighbors robust. I just don't know which one. And take hers back to DK.

Yes, yes, yes. We're hoping it's the clock here. I got to get these out. You're playing like, you're playing speed chess. Hell yeah. There we go. And now we're as malleable, you know. I, as you guys know, I've become somewhat, uh, quarterback agnostic.

I don't think we have a very good idea of what a good quarterback is going to be based on what they did in college. Like the NFL, really? The NFL fucks it up all the time. We don't know what we're doing. We can look at a lot of stuff. We can look at a lot of stats. You know, we can look at, we can use, our eyes to think about how that projects the NFL. At the end of the day, it's like a fucking

coin flip, honestly. And Michael Penix has some of the things I think that we might be overlooking. I'm not ignoring the fact like Ben's charting. I take that to heart. Like the inaccuracy, I think that's a legit thing. The fact that he doesn't attack the level of field, I think these are legitimate issues that he'll have to address in the NFL. But I think Michael Pennix has some pretty good intangibles. And that's like the leadership thing. I think you hear a ton about him. I think how smart he is, what he does on the board in terms of like talking about how he can see the defense. He already, like, if you look at, if you've watched some of the things he does on the chalkboard and when he's talking to guys, you know, it's like he can see all the pieces on the board. He knows where he's going to go with the football.

I think that's a big part of the reason he had such a low sack rate and such a low turnover rate is he kind of just like knows where to go with the football based on what the defense is doing. Obviously, that is so important. And that's something that I think that's hard to project based on college film a lot of time. I think there's a chance Michael Penix has that. And so even though I'm too much of a coward to rank him really highly, I think there's a chance that Michael Padix is just like the truth. You know what I mean? Like this, I have to get this off my chest.

Craig, I'm with you. I think there's a chance Michael Panics just has the things that matter a lot in the NFL, even though he doesn't have some of the other things that we typically look at. I do not like enough for me. Bo next tenure starter. take but I didn't actually prep this one out I was gonna have a take purse that if the dolphins took Bo Nix at 21 they'd make the AFC championship game

Ooh, Bo Nix over Tua should the dolphins replace It's like if Tua was better and more durable and could run Wow, but obviously yeah take bridge Here's I got another quarterback drafting one for you You ready? Yeah, the Jets should take a quarterback at 10 And if they want one in the top four they should trade up and go get it Oh, that's a bit it's extremely unrued unreal and irresponsible that we're not talking about this.

They absolutely should. If Joe Duggish and Robert Sala had the Jets best interest at heart, and they have an over 40 quarterback coming off of an ACL, or you can be an Achilles tear, and behind him it's Tyrod Taylor and Zach Wilson, neither are whom reviewed as the future. You have room to hold a QB3. You don't want it to be Zach Wilson.

The Jets are, if you were to list teams most likely to have a huge quarterback need in 2025, the Jets were at the top of the list. Why aren't they taking a quarterback? They're in position to be ahead of the Vikings in 11, 12, 13. Like, obviously the Giants at 6 present an issue. But the Jets should be very silently, very quietly, making sure they have a deal in place with the Cardinals at 4. And then they should try to drop it on the league at the last second.

Nobody sees it coming and make the trade up. Go get Jajun McCarthy and be prepared for the next year of Jets'Oball. It would be the healthiest thing for the Jets organization to do. They're not going to do it because Joe Douglas and Robert Sala are trying to save the jobs. They need to win this year or whatever. They're trying to get elected in this next second. If you wipe our memory, our history of like what we understand about how the Jets got here, Zach Wilson, Aaron Rogers, injury, Jodok, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

If you wiped that and you just gave objective views of the team situations, we're like, oh, yeah, the Giants should go get a guy. Like, oh, maybe the Seahs to a guy. No, the Jets. The Jets emphatically are by far the number one team who has an incumbent quarterback, but should be getting a young player to supplant him. Jets should take a quarterback top ten. So, like, in fairness, though, I don't know if that's a good idea because if you look at the Packers

took a quarterback to replace Aaron Rogers a few years. ago, and that didn't work out at all. Oh, no, that worked out fucking great. That looked amazing. It replaced him, and it was a perfect plan. And that was four years ago. Pissed off Rogers. Yeah.

Also, yeah, it might light a fire into Rogers' ass and get him out of, you know, the podcast studio and on the field. That's probably a good thing. Who would piss off Rogers the most? I mean, JJ would, right? Like, he's 20. He meditates. He's Gen Z.

The Jets should hire, the Jets should draft Jay J. McCarthy, and then RFK Jr. should pick J.J. McCarthy as his running mate. Yes, yes. Yes, we're cooking. And that would really drive Aaron Rogers to win an MVP. Do you think when Aaron Rogers said that Dr. Fauci created AIDS and COVID, that he thought he was doing a take purge and then he accidentally said it in real life?

Aaron Rogers might be the new take gods. He might be the new Chris. I think he just thinks everything is a take purge. You don't have every, every thing he goes on is a take perch. I have a take about this. This is, this reminds me of a take I heard. I can't remember who. And it was like a defense.

of like the monarchy over like democracy where like at least if you have a king they're interested in like or queen they're interested in the long term uh good of the country or whatever rather than like trying to get elected in three in two years or four years or whatever it is and because like these coaches and these gms are acting in self like they're acting in to benefit self preservation yeah keep the job you know get get votes figure out what people want so i can get votes, not actually make what's best for the country. Obviously, I'm saying this tongue and cheek, I don't believe this. No, this is good.

President terms are too short. So there's, yeah, like if the Jets were acting in the actual best interest of the Jets long term, yeah. Okay, I have a take. I think the Chargers should trade away Justin Herbert and draft J.J. McCarthy. Best pro day you've ever seen, Jim? Prove it. Fucking put your money where your mouth is, pal. Prove it, Jim.

The moment he said that, I tweeted, if I'm the Bears, I'm, calling him right now, and I'm saying one for Herbert. 100%. Trade Herbert to wherever. To Chicago, New England, for the third pick, take J.J. McCarthy. Get your old lineman. Perfect situation. That's what you want, right? Best pro day of ever seen.

Better than her. One for Herbert. One for Herbert. It's easy. One for Herbert. It is explicit. It is J.J. McCarthy for Justin McCarthy for Justin Herbert. Isn't that what you want? Jim? James. One for Herbert.

This is John's decision when they switch lives. true that's right it could be John true yeah no way John's trade in Herbert but Jim

the full harbaugh the full ball I I got I got I got one I love how hesitant is here this is gonna be good

what do we got well I got a football one a couple footballish I'll give this one so this is GM Danny here if the rules allowed it I would trade

the Giants next 10 first round picks for Patrick Mahomes oh it's back to the mom's trade question I would trade the next 10. I've said that as a joke, but I mean it. But the rules don't allow it, right? No, but I would change the rule.

And then I would trade the next 10 first round picks for Patrick Bums. What if they'd call back and go 11? We want 11. I would start at 7. But the number I'd hit is 10. After 10, that's getting a little fucking greedy. 10 for each other. I'd pay 10.

Hi, Hyphitz calls me up. He's like, I'm Brett Beach. He's like, you have 10 first round picks from my homes. And I'm like, guys, I've talked to the room. Like, this is unbelievable. I'm going to ask for more. like Danny can I get 12 and Danny goes that's unrealistic no absolutely not here here this sounds insane right and this sounds like a joke I'm not kidding because this goes to DK's point about this isn't

a great draft class right you're saying it's not a great draft class what was a good draft was the 2020 draft was that a good draft right like that's where Justin Jefferson was in that draft class right Ced Liam is in that draft class right that's a good draft yeah Joe Burrow Justin Herbert yeah half of the players from the 2020 draft are not on the team that took them right like that was four years ago the 2021 draft. If you scroll, 2021 was a good draft. Like a lot of players, a quarter of the players in the

2021, and we're just talking to the first round. The first round of 2021, a quarter of those guys are studs. Half already the team's regret making the pick. Like, the guy's not good. And like, and that includes guys where there were, like, Chase Young was this can't miss guy. Second

pick. So safe. Like, if you just look, the hit rate is one out of three. And so, I guess my case is you, if I give you, if I give 10 first round picks and do this with your own team. Look at their draft history. You're going to hit, hit on like three

players, maybe two, maybe four of the 10. Dude, the Rams haven't picked in the first round since like the mid-aughts. Seven years. The Rams traded five first for Jared Goff, Brandon Cooks and Jalen Ramsey. If Jared Goff, and it worked, they went to the Super Bowl. I have a quick take Perch.

Yeah. Take Perch. If Les Never hardcore, he traded out of the first round and take Perch. Yeah, exactly. Oh, we're wearing F of them pick shirts. Keep it right back. Trade back, coward. Trade back. Keep it going.

But like, if 30% of the first run picks get extended, like the team's like, we'll keep you. What three players that don't play quarterback in the NFL could you put together, but it wouldn't want Mahomes for? Like, I would trade Justin Jefferson and two other great defenders for Patrick Mahomes. Yeah, I don't even really think that's a hot take. I'm saying, though, the other seven, like I would,

it takes 10 firsts to find the three great players. Give the 10 picks. Every, like, there's no upper limit. Let's, let's pull the thread the next couple of steps. So you do that, right? You trade the first,

you trade Jefferson and you have Mahomes. What's the expectation now for your team? We will make the playoffs literally every year because we've bumps. All right. So you're saying that's what will happen. I'm saying what's the expectation for your team? I think your fan base and the way the media will present it is like, okay, you better go win Super Bowls.

That's what the team that had Mahomes previously did. Are you going to be able to do that reliably? Yes, because we have Patrick Mahomes. Yeah. I'm not convinced. I'm not convinced to that. I really am not. Which, like, Mahomes might be the exception to the rule.

We have Mahomes. We also hired Bill Belichick. You're forgetting that. Yes, it's true. True. We have Mahomes and Bill Belichick. Yeah. I actually kind of believe High Fitz could be a good GM.

I didn't. Look, the 10 years that you won't have first round picks, every New York Giants fan will be like, I don't even give a fuck about the draft. We have Patrick Mahomes. My first press conference will be this is the deal. I never want to hear a complaint about first round pick. You guys get to be excited about Mahomes. We are in the mix every year.

He just brings a framed picture of Mahomes to every press conference. He just brings Mahomes to every press conference. Pete Carroll had the basketball hoop. I just have like a, like a, what's the, what's it called? The giant sticker. All the ghosts are screaming. Fat head. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Fat head. Yeah. Belichick's the defensive coordinator. He's the head coach. Mahomes, he's 17 points. We win. Heif, you could be, you should, you don't even have to be a GM. You could just charge millions of dollars to be a consultant.

Yeah, just be a consultant. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, yeah. Have you considered hiring Bill Belichick? Have you interviewed him? No. Here's what I would do. Trade for Patrick Wilms and hire Bill Belichick.

Did you call Bill Belichick? No, we didn't call him. Oh. Was he on your top three candidates? No. Oh, okay. He was not for Atlanta. You found three candidates.

That's great. By the way, can we talk about how he framed the, he did an interview with the Pat McAvey show. He's doing a show and he, like, got a show. He, like, framed? He framed? his picture, like his selfie picture, it's just like 12 feet

above his head and it's just all the Lentardi trophies. He's like in the bottom right corner of the picture. Which elite, absolutely correct. Unbelievable. Excellent content. You know what the right way to do it is? It's to have

a regular house and then have the Lombardi's randomly interspersed, right? Entryway table, there's a dish for your keys. There's a Cote rack. There's a Lombardi trophy. You walk into the living room. Where are the coasters? Here's a nice lamp. There's the TV stand.

Lombardi Trophy on that. Into the kitchen. You're looking for pots and pans. Oh, what's that next to the tea kettle? Lombardi trophy. Guest room, Lombardi trophy. Gets bathroom. Lombardi's room.

Everybody thinks, oh, we found all the Lombardis? No, one more Lombardi trophy. You make it like a little like treasure hunt? That's the way I would do it. Can I get something off my chest? Please. We need a mock draft prohibition. Okay.

I hate them. I hate mock drafts. I think they're boring. I don't read them. I don't care about them. What is the point of all of these mock draft? We did a lot of mock draft yesterday that a lot of people really enjoyed, Craig.

Super easy, Craig. I can explain it. There's no payoffs. You read one and you forget what the top of it said by the time you get to the bottom. There's so many. Imagine tuning into the NFL draft having no fucking idea who's projected to go where.

It would be way better. There's way too many mock drafts. I disagree. I disagree. You want to be surprised and upset by things. No pick would be meaningful. No, no, no. That's the opposite.

My take, people are massacists. people want to read the exact same fucking mock draft every single time. If you go off of like the normal mock draft, do you know how angry people get? If you present an idea that maybe isn't like mainstream and acknowledge. People get angry on the internet. You know how they're just like say hello? Yeah.

People, I've never seen anybody get more mad on the internet. Craig, I could give a shit about anyone's mock draft. I don't care at all. Fuck you, Craig. Read my mock draft, Craig. I'll do my own research. I'll have my own opinion.

I don't need to read 100. 50 mock drafts that are all pretty much the same. They're all going to be wrong anyway. I just don't understand the point. Look, if we want to make mock drafts matter, the NFL should pay people millions of dollars for the perfect mock draft like it's a March Madness bracket. We need incentives.

It's ridiculous. This is like studying for a calculus test. And then you show up and it's actually an AP French test. Like the work to reward ratio of the mock draft to me couldn't be any lower. I need a reward. You only get one bracket. You only get one mock draft. And there should be a leaderboard on ESPN.

during the broadcast. If you win, you get to announce the first pick of the second round, you win a million dollars, you're a celebrity. That should be the only reason why mock drafts exist. Mock drafts are fan fiction for men. That's fine. Fan fiction's lame. Nate Tice just dropped that as an aside to Maze a couple weeks ago,

but it's true. Mock drafts are fan fiction for men. But it's so much less creative. It's so boring. It's the same shit. Everyone is just regurgitating the same takes. DKB, I'm like, I wanted to put Michael Pennix higher, but I don't know.

none of the other mock drafts have that, so I don't want to do that. It's like, what is the point of this? It's all group think. Yeah. I cannot, I could not possibly disagree more. Because you said like there's no rewards, no return an investment. Dude, for me, like I'm writing a mock draft today. It's coming out on Monday.

When I write a piece, I have to think. When I write a mock draft, brother, I'm plugging and chugging. This ain't an issue. This is the most engagement, the most juice I will get back on the littlest amount of work. It goes like, like a mock draft for me. me as like a mailback episode for a podcast. I'm like, you guys do the work. You guys tell me what's up.

I'm just going to show up, give you my thoughts, and then we're going to engage. It is, I love a mock draft. We do a mock draft. I just feel like, I feel like they are empty calorie clicks. It's like scrolling through TikTok. People see mock draft, they click, their eyes glaze over. Oh, this is the 85th mock draft I've read.

Oh, Ben has Jane Daniels now going to the Vikings at 13. Okay, click the next one. I'm just like, I don't know what the point of these are. Get him out of my face. You're right, it's empty calories. I need to get empty calories in my life. I got nothing wrong. Nothing wrong of empty calories.

Anyway, I had to get that up my chest. You should feel bad about yourself if you like mock drafts. I just hate mock drafts. Anyone else got stuff you got to get off your chest? I got a couple more. What you got, Hyvitz? A lot of pressure on the white guys in this draft. DeGene.

Cooper DeGene is going to be the first, it's going to be the highest drafted white cornerback since only white people were allowed to play cornerback. And then you also have two white receivers might be top 50 picks. Ricky Pairsall and Ladd-McConkie, which, by the way, the whole thing sounds like a lacrosse team with Ladd-McConkey, and Cooper de Gene and J.J. McCarthy. Well, Will Schifley, running back from Clemson, I believe,

was a superstar lacrosse player. So throw him in the mix. Yeah. Dylan Lau at New Hampshire. I'm just saying, if J.J. McCarthy's bad, white people will have to stop meditating. Well, that's high. Those are high stakes.

So wait, what is your take purge? What take are you purging? Cooper to Gene better be fucking good. It's going to set white cornerbacks back a decade. I think the Patriots should draft J.J. McCarthy and sign Tom Brady. Do you think Tom Brady would sign with the Patriots? I think that's literally perfect. It's the perfect passing of the baton. LeBron came back to the Cavs.

Michael Scott came back to the office. Larry David came back to Seinfeld. New England, you have a ton of cap space. Trade for Brandon Ayuk. Brady just said recently it's not opposed to the possibility of coming back bring in JJ McCarthy pass the Michigan baton down

it's beautiful it's perfect wait do you want you want Brady to start the whole year yes yeah yeah Brady comes in he plays one year he starts I don't think he wants to play the whole year he was saying is he would come back in like the playoff time to help

a team or something I think that's what he said I feel like Tom Brady has never shied away from wanting to play more football if you offered it to him also the Niners literally told Brock Birdie that if we can get Brady like we'll replace you. If the Niners just had Brady last year, they would have won the Super Bowl. Like the Niners totally would have won the Super Bowl if Brady was in that game.

Yeah, but fans would have been pissed about it. Fans would have, they would have been so mad they had won. This doesn't count. Getting the chance to win. They would for an asterisk on their own title. Yeah. I got, I got one. Please.

Ameris Mims is going to be the best tackle in this class. Yes. Good take. Eight games. So he hasn't used any of the good ones. He's barely played football. But have you. seen him move? Have you seen his

He's unbelievable, dude. Frame. This guy is incredible. I want Ameris moves on my team. I think you could take him top 10 and I would not batten it. Yeah. That was my, I had that take from months ago. I put that out in real time, not even a take first time. I'm there, dude. Big man move fast.

I like it. He's good, too. Hyvin, you want to go? I got one more. You want. All right. I can save it. I got like one or two small ones. Well, why don't you go, then? You're saving it.

You like you. I'm saving. I'm saving. You want to finish. I wish Listers could see the take purge because every time before Hyvitz is about the purge of take, he's like, he sets himself. He goes like, and he like, he settles in. It is, it is ritualistic.

I appreciate that intention. They will be able to see it. This will be on YouTube. Oh, everybody should watch. On Monday. I think Washington is taking Drake May. And I kind of think the Sam Howell thing is a huge deal that they traded him away. Good take, Craig.

Good take. I think, look, their best friends. They played one year together at UNC. May went on Adam Chapters podcast and was like, he's one of my best friends, Sam Howe. I love him. Like, he's truly, he like changed who I am. He helped me so much at UNC.

He's like, just one of my best friends in the world. This is like, if they were to keep them together, I'd be like parents, you know, pitting siblings against one another to see who their favorite son is. Like, we're hearing rumblings now, but Jane Daniels taking meetings with other teams, Minnesota. I just think, I think the second they traded away Sam Howell, they needed to build so much smoke about Jane Daniels to get people off the scent.

I just think they're taking Drake May it too. Oh, I can see this for sure, yeah. Every time we decide collectively that something is going to happen, I feel like it doesn't happen. So the Jane Daniels-Washington thing feels like a smokescreen. Why didn't they get rid of Sam Howell? They brought in Marcus Marriota, who stinks. So right now, Jaden Daniels is still the slightest of favorites,

like minus 135 to minus 1-15, minus 1-1-15, minus 1-10 to go number two over Drake May. Adam Schefter, who is on McAfee, as we are recording this, said it's been, he's been, you know, it's been seeming like Jane Daniels is going to. Like, that's how teams have been indicating. Like, that's what they expect. But then he said, it feels like Jaden Daniels has an interest in being other places.

And he said, we will see what the Washington commanders do with that information. So what he's intimating is that Jaden Daniels, guys, I'm going to say this with a straight face, that Jaden Daniels is so pissed about the top golf thing that he would like to go. play for another franchise and the commanders might have to change

their direction of two accordingly. That's what's being presented. The devil draft is the dumbest event in the world, dude. On that note, I actually just invented a new take, which is the top golf group interview. I loved it. That was an awesome way. And like, Daniel, we're scared to compete.

What are you? You're scared to play golf with all your competitors? I don't like that. Number one. You know who else interviews people in groups? Apple. Apple has all the job interviewees, sit around a table and they hold a meeting and they see how people behave in meetings. That's one of the rounds of a job interview at Apple. You know what? More teams should have

all the guys in a room and the ones who can't handle it probably can't handle it. Okay. Just saying. I love that. As usually the foil to hyphen says takes, I'm with him on this one, dude. Oh no, you had to be there with the other guys? Yeah. Dude.

The horror! We're going to have tryouts, baby. Snap the pool stick and leave the room. I love it. Do you think any players got a quick golf lesson before that top golf gathering? There's all the hazard for agents, just just working on the swing. You don't want to be too good at golf, though. My first impression was that this is the stupidest take.

But then I thought back to the year when Zach Wilson, Justin Fields, Trey Lance, who else? Mack Jones. Can you imagine if they had done if the Jets had held a top golf thing? Triumphs. And then they had seen how Zach Wilson interacts around all these other guys. Yeah.

Do you think they really would have picked Zach Wilson? Probably not. Dude, going back to the Zach Wilson clips of him before the draft where he's just taking with all of them looks like it doesn't belong. Dude,

so good. We're getting dangerously close to the NFL draft like offseason becoming The Bachelor, where it's just like a bunch of guys in a house and seeing how they react as one another?

Is that a bad prognostication given how much NFL draft loves the NFL draft machinery loves the dog and pony show of it all. They love the drama of it all. Dude, start putting cameras in the combine meetings, pay a subscription to see what the commander's interview with Drake May went like.

Come on, let's do it. Ben during regular hours, NFL draft process is too long, too much content. Ben during tapeurge hours, more content, longer process, ramping up to an 11. I thought I had was that Hard Knock should cover the lead up to the draft, not the lead up to the season. It would be way more interesting. That's phenomenal. And then just aired afterwards.

Right, yeah. That's really good. Right after the draft, just put it up and you could just like be with the Cardinals for like, and the three months leading up to the draft. And obviously it'll never happen because general managers are way more scared of people learning about stuff than I think like, you know, I'm like censor it, whatever. But dude, the amount of times we would learn about a team making, what we think is like a franchise altering decision with huge intention that must have taken like months of investment. The amount of times we would see it just being like, man, like, I just really like, I like JJ. He's a good guy. I want to go take him at three.

And like, that's the whole logic. It would blow people's minds. Anything else you guys want to get off your chest here? I have one last one. Please. Take Purge. We're too mean to Danny on the mispronunciations. I've got to stop.

I feel bad, dude. I feel really bad. I was reflecting on it the other week and I was like, man, like I obviously like it's like everybody gets a chance to be the heel on this pot. I think high fits that probably has to enjoy it the most. And like, that just sucks, especially with your friends. You hate to be the butt of all the jokes. And like, objectively speaking, he's had reasons for all. all of these that aren't defensible.

In the aggregate. Guy, play the siren. It's pretty funny. I feel bad. And I want Dan to know I love you and you're a great host. And I sometimes like everyone play the siren.

Oh my God. I was thinking about this earlier today or yesterday, Ben, how when Hyphins did the fiasco thing, and we jumped off like we jumped him immediately. It's really, it's what I see in my head of hyenas. Because like if you watch these short

of when he mispronounces something, I seem like the worst person in the world, dude. I'm there with teeth out. We're like, yes, knuckles bare. It's on. You're wrong. I feel like I've become a dark and angry person. So I think,

take perch or Jimmy de hyphenice. Real time, I'm back, baby. Say something wrong. See what happens. Thanks. Thanks for saying that in this forum where nothing to count. Thank you,

where it doesn't count. Yeah, this, this conversation. The tell made up and the point so matter. The take purge was, it was invented ostensibly so you could like murder people and whatnot, the original, the take, just the purge. But Ben wants to be nice

during the church. So he can be mean everywhere else. He's using this one opportunity a year to be nice. Speaking which I have, I have this is also, this is a real,

a real purge here. This is a real, get it out. The sirens haven't rung yet. I know. I think Kai's asleep. I think we should, I think we should normalize

farting in public. No. This bulky thing? Trent Balke. If you did not see it, the most incredible thing I've ever seen, Trent Balchie.

What is this guy's deal? Of the Jaguars just, absolutely ripped a fart during a press conference. He said, excuse me. He, like, paused in his monologue. Said excuse me. And kept going.

Kept rolling. I love it. It's the right thing to do in the event that you fart during a public press. You say, excuse me? Do you think he accidentally farted

and said, excuse me or didn't keep putting it? No, he like, he like paused to like let it fly. He like pushed it out. He just ripped it. It was like, excuse me,

kept rolling. And I'm like, that's a 60-year-old man who knows everybody is. I think he's psychotic behavior. I think there's something wrong with this. No, see, Hyva, as you mentioned it, the key there is his age.

He's 60 years old on the nose. The second you turn 60, I've witnessed their experience, it's all, it doesn't, you do what you want. I'm just saying, though, turn 60. Why is sneezing okay where it's like, you're spreading germs? Yeah, because sneezing doesn't smell like shit. But that's like the easiest question you've ever asked. farting smells so bad.

I'm just saying, I think farting, I don't want to smell the gas that was inside your fucking Colette earlier. But like farting though up the fucking shit steam coming out of your asshole. Farting though upholds the patient. This farting thing should not be normalized. I'll take my anti-bullying getting high of the state back

over striking the record, dude. It's more normal for men to fart than women. And if I think it should be normal like it's not fair. The double standard. There's an anti-women. Saved by the bell. Oh, so this is an anti-women take into Siren. Anyway, Hyphitz, what are your thoughts on farts?

Hyphus is like the patriarchy. That Trent Falky thing was disgusting. How dare he just farted. I think there's something wrong with this guy. I'm subject. There probably is. He just farted in front of all these reports. What's this guy's deal?

I think John Harbaugh is doing a great job in L.A. Mm-hmm. Jim? Jim. There's no way of knowing which one. There really isn't. I'm really excited for this draft with all these GMs who I could never can't even imagine doing any of their jobs as well as they do

I'm so smart of them to not hire Babolichick as a coach I don't know if it is it part of the take I actually started to believe pretty strongly that hyphids would make a good GM I'm all in I would I would want to see the team I like it would be it would be a great great time we would cover it on this pod, glowingly. We would sell out for you.

Hyphitz is like weirdly good at Dynasty. Fantasy. Like it's kind of disturbing how good he is. I have seven. Just give me one day. Do you know why? It's because he's such a bullshitter. He like talks people into the worst trades.

He just pours money in your ear. That's why. You know why? It's the, it's the, it's the, if you can't spot the sucker 30 minutes into the game, it's like you're the sucker.

It's like I would just, every single thing I would just, I would literally never stop texting to say it's in the Broncos and the Raiders. I would just, I would be a constant touch with them. Hypaters' his greatest skill, one of his greatest skills of many is his, his just like, work ethic.

His like, insatiable need to like talk to people and find out more information, and he just won't stop. Like, he'll just text everybody in the Dynasty League over and over until he wears you down. He beats somebody down. All right, get me in one of these Dynasty Leaks with Hyphids. I mean, I want to be brow beaten into making a bad trade. It seems like a good time. Ben, do you want to co-manage

my team with me? I'll give you the reins. Do you want me to manage the team? You can be the owner. You can be the GM. How rough are we talking, Craig? I made the playoffs. I got third or fourth last year.

It seems good. Just saying, maybe hire the greatest coach of all time. But, you know, what do I know? I don't know. What would I do? What would I know? Do you guys feel lighter? I feel cleansed.

I feel lighter. I feel like my soul has been bathed. I'm glad that nobody can hold us to anything we've said. No. My Michael Panics take, it's not me. I didn't say. that. I'm not going to get a single tweet about eating this week. You know how you

can't. You know how you can't like screen record when you're on YouTube TV and stuff like that? They have like a wait. That's what we got to do, the take person. So no one can actually like record our takes and share it anywhere. Like it's proof or something. There's no receipts. This doesn't count. No. So like the proof of anything.

I came here to lead. Not to read. Also, email us at ringerfancy football at gmail.com. your own take purges. We add some on Twitter. They're really fun. We want your email a short take purges at ringer fancy football at gmail.com. We got what we got some incredible ones.

Someone was just like, yeah, God, we should just trade Dak Prescott. And I was like, wow. We'll read some of the best. That was Jerry. Yeah. That was Jerry from the murder. They will, yeah, we'll read those. Email us through your fancy football at gmail.com. Remember, you know, none of the take purge stuff happens. We can't comment. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kuy for producing this episode. Thank you, So, Lack. I just

forgot him right there. But Thank you. Thank you, Connor. Thank you, John, for throwing this on YouTube. There's a lot more people

now because it's a thank. Thank you, John, for just throwing it on YouTube. For doing nothing. John, let's go, me. Basically doing nothing. Woo, John.

Thank you, Mom and Dad. Thank you to whoever invented the Purge. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you. Wilson Phillips. Oh. Who's that?

What's Wilson Phillips up to? Wilson Phillips is a band, or it's a group combining, the daughter of John and Michelle Phillips, of the Mamas and the Pappas with Brian Wilson's daughter from the Beach Boys.

I mean, I can't stress you how little I followed that. Brian Wilson's daughter and then John and Michelle Phillips of the Mamas and the Pappas. That implies I know who Brian Wilson, John and Michelle Phillips are. Like, my frame of reference nowhere, dude.

Oh, I should have dropped, I should have dropped my movies take because I've never dropped it on a Ringer podcast because I think I'm going to get arrested by Sean Fantasy on the take version, but it's too late now. I have to wait until next year.

Can I make a guess? Does you think six minutes to eat a tomato? too long. Do I have a guess what your movie take is? They're barking up the right tree. Tune in next year. Six minutes to ease. Too much time. I wonder what his take on movie. Dude, Austin, Austin Gale

watches movies on like 1.5x. Yeah, who would do that? He watches TV at 1.5. That's a nice, man. I can't believe that. That's unbelievable. Put him behind bars. Straight to jail. I'm so surprised and offended. So like does it, too.

Oh, shit. Dude, get the fuck out of it. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fandall is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino LLC. Gambling problem. Call 1-800 gambler or visit fandle.com slash RG in Colorado,

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