The Ringer NFL Show - The End-of-Year Mailbag

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

We wrap up the fantasy season by answering listener questions ranging from fantasy football rule changes to an NFL-Quidditch crossover to power ranking the seven wonders of the modern world and much more. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm Derek Thompson, long-time writer with the Atlantic Magazine on tech culture and politics. There is a lot of noise out there, and my goal is to cut through the headlines, loud, tweets, and hot takes in my new podcast, plain English. I'll talk to some of the smartest people I know to give you clear viewpoints and memorable takeaways. Plain English starts November 16th. Listen for free on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Odyssey Football Show. My name is Danny Heifitz. I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Quartz.

Worldback. It is before week 18 and most fantasy seasons are over. So we're going to do a mailbag from the end of the season. If you are still playing for some reason, go pick up Kishon Vaughn. Just go get him. He's the buck's running back. Just go get him. And you'll win. Quick waiver wire. Yeah. It's fine. Kishan Vaughn, Boston, Scott, go

get him. Anyway, for everyone else who's not playing anymore, we're going to do a mailbag. Thank you to everyone who sent us tweets. Thank you to everyone who emailed us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. Even if we are not able to, like, get back to all of you. We did see all of them. Thank you so much. let's just jump into it

Let's just do it We're starting with football related And then we're going to move slowly away from it Then we're going to get weird Explanation I give Okay this is from Frank Frank Craig where's your Frank

Frank Sorry Frank Sleep it on the job Craig Frank says you're forced to bet A substantial amount of your net worth On a team To not win a playoff game For the next five seasons

Who are you taking? Giants Yeah was that easy there's no discussion here here's okay let's let's dive into this i think it's the giants for the primary reason is they're not going to realize that they're making a a massive mistake with joe judge for like another three years yeah they've got a lame duck situation at quarterback where daniel jones isn't good enough to take them to the playoffs but he's not bad enough for them to move on immediately i think he is but i guess they don't think so that's what i'm saying is they're not going to think

they're not going to think they should no man's lamb yeah The only other team that I wanted to include in this, because my initial response was like the Giants, like, look, I've talked about this ad nauseum over the last, like, month, they can't score touchdowns. They can't score touchdowns. But also, I think the Jets are another one that came to mind in obvious reasons, like the Jets are who they are. But to me, it's more like the division is going to be tougher for the Jets than maybe for the Giants in the next five years. Like you've got Mac Jones, the Patriots. They're not going anywhere. The bills. aren't going anywhere. And the dolphins are another team that are maybe like ascending still. We'll see kind of like where, what how things pan out for them. But it's going to be, I think it's going to be hard for the Jets to make the playoffs going forward.

So that would be the other team I would probably put on there. I think there's six teams, right? Is there a DK, is it a hot take to pick Seattle? Yes. I was thinking about that. I was thinking about it. I think it is. I was thinking about it because it's easy

to pick the bad teams right now. The real answer what you have to do is pick a team on the descent that's about to go through what the Giants just did. They think they're good and they're going to try to contend and they're pretending to themselves. Because right now the bad teams are Giants, Jets, Jaguars, Texans, Lions, and Panthers. I think that's the easy six. And I'm going to take the Jaguars out because they have Trevor Lawrence.

So really it's five. It's Giants, Texans, Lions, Panthers. I really, it's so biased, but like it's not just me being a Giants fan. Like, the Giants really are that bad of a situation. And also, their issues are more entrenched because their fundamental problem is they have people who are family members of the owning team are in the personnel department. That's the problem. They're not going to fire themselves.

Warren Sharp tweeted this yesterday. The New York Giants, and I'm just going to quote them, not at any point. Not in any season for the last five years did the Giants have a winning record. They're the only team in the NFL. Not at any point to not have one week where they sat above 500. So they never went one and no in the last five years. Yeah. So it's a good bet.

Put it that way. All right. What a depressing question from Frank to start today. Thanks, Frank. What a great, yeah, what great vibes. He's pandering to high fits there

because that was just teeing him up on. This is from Ryan. We all know who your guys' favorite teams are. Obviously, Craig Steelers. I'm John's, D.K.C. Hooks.

But do you have any backup teams that you root for or a team that you cannot root for no matter what? I thought about this and I tried to be honest with myself because to be completely important. Like transparent.

I don't really root for any other teams besides the Seahawks because I'm just like rooting for my fantasy guys. However, what I realized and came up with is that every time I watch the Ravens, I want the Ravens to win. I don't know why. That's interesting. I'm into the Ravens. I like how they do business. I love Lamar Jackson. I like have for whatever reason, I've got like this thing where I just can't give up on the Marquise Brown.

I love J.K. Dobbins. When he comes back next year, I think it's going to be like. a lot of fun. I don't know. It's just like for whatever reason I like the Ravens. I'm, I'm going to remove the Rams, though. I root for the Rams because of Sean McVeigh. Because flying coach, and he was awesome. My brother. But I'm removing that because that's like an actual thing. Just like emotionally, who else have I connected with? I just for the charges, man. I love Justin Herbert. Yeah. And I honestly, and I love Joe Burrow. I think Herbert and Burrow are just like the best and I want

them to succeed. And picking a team, I root again. I really thought about this. I tried to tell myself that I'm going to say the Ravens because in the AFC North and I'm a Steeler fan. But dude, fantasy is poisoned to my brain. I don't root against anybody. I just root for my fantasy team.

Yeah. I think that is the biggest change for me too, Craig, and that I root for my players. It's been very easy, actually, because the Giants are so bad and the Giants are so out of the playoff race every year so consistently that I don't mind rooting for Cowboys players individually

or Eagles or Washington or like the Giants Division rivals because it's not really a rivalry if you're not going to even pretend to yourself you can win the division. So I don't really care. It's harder for me to hate the teams when, again, I think the Giants haven't beaten the Eagles in Philadelphia in their last nine or ten games.

They're like two and 14, I think, something like that against the Cowboys in their last 16 games. Like, that's crazy. Like, it's not even a rivalry. So I actually hate my division rivals less than I used to. I think that the interesting thing I've learned other than just my fantasy teams, the Brady Belichick Patriots, I hated

because so much of my emotional energy and quite frankly my identity was wrapped up in the Giants beating the Patriots in those two Super Bowls that I realized this, like the most gut check I've ever had was the sports-wise is the Eagles Patriots Super Bowl

because I as a kid and growing up and everything hated the Eagles more than the Cowboys hated the Eagles more than Washington by a lot. So those two teams playing, my whole family was rooting for the Patriots and I rooted for the Eagles and my family wanted to, like, remove me from my family. Like, they hated me, but I felt very strongly that I'd rather root for the Eagles

and keep it in the NFC East, like college football style. You root for your conference. Then, like, I can't root for Tom Brady and the Patriots. Yeah. I've actually come around on Brady. I don't know why I used to hate the Patriots. And now I'm, I'm like, kind of rooting for Tom. But that's what happened this year.

I actually, the ringer, we ran a post. It's really good. Look it up if you haven't seen it. It says we ran, I think it's like our 45 favorite sports. moments of the year and everybody picked like a different one. I picked Tom Brady throwing the Lombardi trophy over the water at the parade because

I felt like that was the moment I let Tom Brady to my heart. Like it had been brewing. Yes. It had been brewing the whole year. Like he left the team and we're like, oh, he's likable. He's talking. And then that moment was like, oh, all right, I'll like you now. Yeah. I think I'm exactly the same hype. It's I was so jealous when you

pick that. Because it's exactly the same thing for me. It's like the audacity. of him to do that and basically just say fuck it, I'm throwing the Lombardi trophy over like a, it was like 15, 20 feet. Like it was, I think

it's like further than it looks. He was also visibly drunk, which is like pretty cool. Oh my God, yeah. He was not visibly drunk. He was so wasted. He was, he couldn't stand. Anyway, my final question to Ryan's question is since our teams are probably not going to make the playoffs,

I mean, Craig's might, but not really. Who are you guys going to root for in these playoffs? Oh. If the Steelers made it, I would root for the Steelers because I am now intertwined with the Steelers. I think

I would root for Cincinnati, man. I think so too. Yeah, I actually, I didn't look. I forgot to think about this before we started recording it so I'm trying to think about it now. I don't know. I think Cincinnati is definitely a good one for me too.

I kind of think Philly would be fun like as like a dark horse like a Cinderella type team. But Cincinnati's a good one. I'm, I still like the Chiefs mainly. Like, you know, I just like Mahomes and he's fun to watch. So, but the bills, maybe, the bills? The bills are also. Josh Allen to be fun.

I like Josh Allen. It would be hard to root against the bills if they went far. So bills and Bengals is my answer. I want Josh Allen to have like a strong legacy and I think he needs a Super Bowl to do it or else everyone's just going to, I don't know. I feel like no one's ever going to get to the point where we can accept that Josh is actually an amazing quarterback until he wins a Super Bowl. There's a pure, now I think people are going to do it, but I think it's more about the purity

for Bill's fans. The Bill's fans winning a Super Bowl is one of the last truly pure things that could happen in the NFL. Yeah. All right. This is from John. John. John.

What major overperformers or surprises of this season do you not expect to repeat their success next year? There's a lot of leeway in this question, gray area, because I think when you say not repeat success, that's relatively. relative. The three guys I thought of, I'll just go with the first one, Cordero Patterson. That's my first thought, too. Yeah, just like, I think the stars aligned during the beginning of this season for him to just go absolutely nuclear. And I think he's a very talented player. And it was awesome story. However, he definitely trailed off as the year went on.

They started using him as like an early down back, which is kind of weird. Like, I don't know, why not use him as like this X Factor Debo Samuel type guy, like the whole year, like they were doing early on? But I think it also had to do a lot with like the fact that Calvin Ridley opted out or you know whatever is he took time away from the game. You know, they had some injuries. This is a team that doesn't have very much offensive talent outside of Kyle Pitts. You know, sorry Mike Davis. And so like I think next year if they if they load up on more players, they're going to get more, you know, running backs in there, more receivers in there. Like his opportunity share is going to go down. I still think he has a chance to be like a fantasy factor,

which is great, but I don't think he's going to be like a top 10 guy next year. Yeah, I agree. I think Patterson's the easy answer. I also wanted to hit like some top tier guys because, I mean, Cooper Cupson, easy one and be like, all right, he's not going to lead the league and everything.

I think he'll still be like a top tier receiver, but he might just be great instead of number one. I think that's kind of easy, though. I think a harder question. Deontay Johnson, wide receiver eight, what happens without Ben Rothesberger, who just can't throw a deep like. Deonti Johnson.

without 159 targets this year. I think he's top five. He had 100 catches this year without a quarterback who just needs to like throw to him within two yards with the line scrimmage every play. What is he's value? Because he's good,

but in some ways, PPR, like he's better with a bad quarterback. The other one I also have is Austin Echler. Quite frankly, even though he's like definitely should be drafted really high next year. I think he got beat up this year and I kind of wonder

if they need to lessen his workload from to get through another 17 game season next year for Austin Echler. Right. that's just one that springs to mind. My pushback on the Deontay Johnson thing is, I agree with you. Like, I think it is something that we have to be very aware of going forward. He was a perfect match for Rathusberger in the sense that, like, get rid of the ball quickly, get it out quickly.

He's getting open quickly. But I also think, like, there's this chance that he's, like, one of the best receivers in the NFL. Like, he's really good. Like, if he has a better quarterback, he could go off. I'm just like, I think we need to be careful, like, there. I would say he was a perfect match for Ben, but. Ben is not the perfect match for him. But do we need to be careful, though,

because he was the wide receiver eight this year? Yes, I think we do. And so my question is... I think it's worth remembering and thinking about. I guess my question is, how much further can he go up compared to how much he can fall off? Like, he could be a better...

I guess my point in nutshell is he can be a better real-life receiver and then get worse in fantasy. That's my concern. That's fair. The feeler's offense could be better in real life, but actually worse in fantasy. Exactly. That's the problem,

because they're down for 20 points, but they're just feed Deonti eight catches for 20 yards on a drive. Oh, we got to... points. It's like, well, he more than anyone benefits from PPR except like McAfrey. Okay. This is from Nathan. Nathan. Oh, Craig, like he knows him. Craig's got a lot of friends. I signed him a nickname.

He got a lot of friends. All right. If you had to buy a jersey of a waiver wire pickup who was a league winner for you in the past, what would be the strangest jersey you've ever had? For me, it's McKissick. Just a Washington football team, McKissick jersey. They're all those guys, man. Mine would be Danny Woodhead. it's all those like scatbacks that you add who like have a great second half yeah I actually know what I think about it mine is Danny Woodhead I that actually is the jersey which is ironic actually

because he remember when dating Woodhead sold Modell jersey like his jersey at Models like and it went viral in New England and no one knew who he was I did you ever see that video I don't remember that sorry well he I mean you can just YouTube it like he is in no Dell selling dating Woodhood jerseys in not in Foxborough but like outside Boston and no one like no one gets him Am I an idiot that I don't know what Models is? It's like the radio shack of sports clothing. I've never seen or heard of that. That's weird.

Is that an East Coast thing? It must be an East Coast thing. It must be an East Coast thing. Wait, Craig, you don't know what Models is either? Not really. No shit. I guess it is an East Coast thing. All right, emails at Ringernfantasy Football.com, if you have any insights into this being a regional.

I want to mention one more kind of waiver-wire pickup guy. So in 2018, this actually sounds weird. I feel like we all forgot about this. I picked Danny Woodhead because it was more like obscure and fun, but my actual answer is Derek Henry. Derek Henry in 2018. Yes. Dionne Lewis that year was getting the majority of the workload

up until week 14. And then Derek Henry had 240 yards and four touchdowns and everybody went nuts and he was the hottest commodity in the market. I added him the week after that. He had 170 and two touchdowns that week and the rest of the season, although it was only three more weeks, he was fantastic, and I think I finished maybe second that year. But Derek Henry was like a playoff gem in 2018.

I don't think that. So I think the way I interpreted the question is like it was supposed to be the most random guy. The other guy to add into that though, like, or Craig, like Henry is a great one. The other one is like Lamar Jackson. Like you could have gotten Lamar Jackson like the ninth-tenth round. I guess he's not a waiver wire pickup. But like the dude went off his MVP year. I also want to just shout out beyond football for a second fantasy.

baseball. We'll never forget picking up Edinson Volquez from the Reds like 12 years ago. We'll never. Shouts out. Getting Sai-ong votes. We'll never forget that. Okay. There were people who had him that year, no. Email me at Ringer Fantasy Football.com.

If you had Edinson Volquez, please. We're not going to get emails. That'd be amazing if we get one. Opening the floodgates here. Mariners fan and creditors, you know what baseball is. Okay. From Jackson, what's the potential off-season move that most significantly swings the value of the most players? Ooh, I loved this question, by the way.

He put EG, like Russell Wilson moving to another team. I think that's it. It's Russell Wilson and or of Aaron Rogers moved to another team, right? Like if Aaron Rogers goes to like Denver. Oh my God. I think, okay, to start out, because I've got like four or five things here. I think Russell Wilson's one to keep an eye on. Aaron Rogers, obviously a big deal.

There's a chance that Kurt Cousins changes teams here. I think there's like a few other like, you know, not quite, not nearly as it. impactful, but potentially impactful, like Ryan Fitzpatrick, if he continues to play and comes back or whatever. If Gardner Minchu plays somewhere, I think that could make an impact. There's four teams, though, I think, that are really important for quarterbacks that going forward, the Broncos, Washington, Carolina, and Pittsburgh. Those are the ones that I thought of, because if you look at it, and I'll just go through them, you guys can pick up where I'm going off. Let's start with, like, let's start with the Broncos. Judy, Sutton,

John Tawante Williams Noah Fant Tim Patrick Albert O maybe KJ Hamler Like this is like Fertile ground for fantasy production here

But they've just been like One of the slowest shittiest offenses And like Just worthless for fantasy Over the last like You know Three months or whatever

So that would be My biggest priority Would be getting a good quarterback On Denver I think that's correct I think that's the correct answer I don't know the exact

situation with the cap right now, but part of me wonders if Kirk Cousins could go to the Steelers. Because I'm just saying, I think the Vikings would have to eat only $10 million to steal it. Like, I don't know how the Steelers would move around all that money, but they don't guarantee money in future years. So I guess it wouldn't, it's not really possible. But I kind of did think the Steelers actually could win the Super Bowl of

Kirk Cousins, to be honest with you. I think that's the, that's the Super Bowl? Yes. That's how incompetent actually. I think Ben was this year. I think he makes them a lot better though. I agree. A lot, like, he doesn't need to do much.

Anyway, it's probably not going to happen. The other one, I also don't think Rogers is going to get traded, quite frankly. That's the same I do want to establish. It feels like he's just going to end up on the Packers again. I don't think Roger, like, the idea that Rogers is going to get the number one seat. I mean, let's be clear for a second. Whatever his issues are, Matt Lafleur, since he's been hired, the Packers are, I believe the first NFL team do ever win 13 games three years in a row.

Yeah. Yeah. They're going to get a first round by. It's a good bear. it's a good marriage. He's going to win back-to-back MVP's. For all the drama,

like it's a good marriage. Like, maybe they're just like that couple that fights a lot, but then is also very passionate. They're Harry and Sally. I don't know what he could actually want. Like, there's no, I actually don't think he leaves.

I kind of, I'm sort of assuming that too, Hefeits. And then I know that John Elway, like, quote, unquote, stepped aside and like George Payton's running the Broncos. I don't think the Broncos want Russell Wilson.

I just don't think they want Russell? No, I don't, I think John Elway is a, prototypical tall quarterback. He's always wanted tall quarterbacks. The idea of him flipping to Russell Wilson and getting a short quarterback. The taller than far-fetched.

No, I'm serious. I'm serious about that. It's actually kind of true, yeah. And, like, I don't think the Broncos will get Rogers or Wilson. I don't think they'll be particularly close. So, like... Maybe send Kirk to Denver.

That would be nice. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Derek Carr, where's Derek Carr going to end up? I would love him to be in Pittsburgh. That would be interesting. That would be interesting. Derek Carr, yeah.

It's like there is a carousel, but I also think that the two big names at the top are interesting. Anyway, all right. Jordan Love, what's going to happen to him if Rogers stays? I think he stays there and they just keep him to just. Yeah. If he actually prodded Rogers to play at an MVP level for two years, it was a good pick.

Right. Is the real answer. Okay. Jerry says, what's the worst, but at the same time, most acceptable punishment for a last place finisher you guys have ever heard of? Jerry. Sorry. missed that. I would say the best punishment I have heard of, I have not done anything like this, but

you know some people do like a destination draft the loser has to get to the destination draft I think they either give them a budget yeah like by public transportation or do it like a budget away yeah so it's like I think someone had to go from like Philadelphia to like Indianapolis it was like 1500 miles and they had to take greyhounds but then you just show up for the draft

you stay there for one night and then you have to go back in the morning I don't think that's acceptable I that's a bit much. It took like three days each way. I kind of like that one a lot. Here's my deal. Like doing public humiliation shit is like a no-go for me. I'm like,

I'm not going to be in a league that has a punishment where you have to like wear a thing. Go sing in a mall or something. Yeah, like I'm not doing that shit. I'd rather just not playing that league. So the going across state lines and a bus thing, I think is really funny because I'd be willing to do that. It's like kind of funny.

this is a really boring one, but like, you know, you put your money where your mouth is. Like, what in one league, we were talking about how the last place person has to pay the buy-in for the fourth place. Because usually there's like payouts for a first, second, third, or whatever. Like, the last place person has to buy the extra person. Like, that's not very much. It's not, like, humiliating, but it's like also you lose and then you have to pay more. You know what's underrated, though?

I think I've given so much mental energy to last place punishment. We do a beer mile in my league, and it's fun. Just projectile vomit. Yeah, that's good. I don't put enough energy to thinking about the draft order. I mean, I do auctions now, or salary cap drafts. But my friend Brian, his league does, they all pick Little League World Series teams. And then whichever team does the best, that's their draft order.

I think that's actually really fun because it's perfect timing with your draft. I like that. I think the real answer is that it's how crazy is your friend group? Like, you really got to gauge, like, where you guys are at in life and that's how you determine what your punishment will be. If you're all like 42 years old, I don't know if you're running naked and jumping in a river. Yeah, it's like a work league.

Also, realistically, D.K., I'm not going to lie, you would not do the public transportation thing because you have a job that is pretty busy right around late August. I don't think you're actually going to spend two days on a bus each way. Yeah, that's true.

Maybe do it like an off-season. Okay. Jake? Craig, where is your Jake? Jake, sorry. You don't leave Jake hanging. That's what's going on. We have to do it a lot in this episode.

Do you guys remember when we asked for ideas to make like week 18 more interesting somehow? Absolutely. Jake says when I was young and had to watch slow Tom and Peyton Manning crush other teams, I thought it would make it more interesting to force the quarterback to also play every down on defense. They could play whatever position makes sense for them. Someone like Matt Ryan out there would be unbelievably hilarious to try to see tackling people. It might be cruel, maybe, but it's what I would want to see in week 18 piloted. What position does Ben play on defense?

That's the thing. I think that you have to like grandfather a lot of these guys. Not great. You have to like kind of like politely retire them early. He's a strong inside defensive end. Set in the edge. Like Lamar could play cornerback. Lamar could be a flat quarterback.

Yeah. Or like throw Justin Fields at safety. Lineback outside linebackers. Feels is like the Isaiah Simmons of this exercise. Fields is the perfect example. The most hilarious example is like Matt Ryan. Like where are you going to put him? You know who sneakily would have been great at this?

This is Andrew Luck who kind of always wanted to be a line. backer anyway. He got drafted first overall because he tackled a guy really hard in college. You know my hot take on Andrew Luck is that all the plays of him I remember are none of them are throws. I remember him tackling people. I remember him picking up a fumble in like Michael Jordan space jamming, but like all my Andrew Luck memories are not passes. Not a great sign. But he did he did have a good career. Can I add, so I have another idea for week 18. I've been thinking about it. Jake's email has lightened illuminated me. All right. What about this? Week 18. for the non-important games,

the games with no ramifications on the line, fans can call the plays like Madden. You're essentially playing Madden, but with real human beings on the field. The Twitch Street. Two people win a contest and they call the plays

that are run on the field. That's great. Well, there's already a, isn't there a league that does that to like arena football league? I believe you, fan-controlled league. You can do that.

But I think, a week 18, I'm telling Matt Ryan what to do, that'd be amazing. That's good. That's really good. I tried hard to think of a, like, a real idea, and instead I just thought, I just keep coming back to my pet idea, which won't happen, but I actually think would be, I want to see some other football league do this, but I would love to see this happen. No punting. Yeah.

Eliminate the concept. It's gone. You either convert on fourth down, or you turn the ball over. So use Week 18 as a guinea pig for new ideas. It's like the purge, kind of. No, yes, it's a purge. It's like, let's just get this out of. We're getting our fourth down attempts out of our system.

Makes the game shorter, eliminates the most boring parts. And coaches like, oh, but what about field position? What about field? Yeah, field position is so important. Get the freaking first down. And then also better defenses would be rewarded. Because suddenly, if you have a great defense and a terrible quarterback, you could win a game with like five, three, an ounce,

and just kick like a bunch of 50-yard field goals. I like it. They should do that in every game, though, really. I think I would keep going. I'd get rid of all kicking. No extra points. You got to go for two. No kickoffs.

No field goals. I'm okay with kicking. Like, if you want to get rid of kicking too, I'm cool with that. But I actually think good defenses are most rewarded if the concept of, like, hold your ground or not. Like, you can't, like, if football's like this metaphor for war, then you can't just be like, okay, we like are abandoning our trench. But you guys got to go back like 50 yards. That's not how it works. You give up the trench or not.

All right. You can tell from my great experience in World War I. You can tell I've been watching the picture. from Michael Michael I love Craig who are you avoiding next year in the draft out of disdain the never again players

Russell Wilson not even close it's Chase Claypool for me oh my God I'm never again if they get Kirk Cousins you're like nah I'm good I will not get Honeypotted trapped into this because if any amount of hype that he gets people will be more excited about it than I am there will never be

a point where I'm like oh I like chase late bowl more than the people in my lake no i'm done with him hater hater that's such a mistake that's such a reason see by you guys on ben i think you guys went with the more emotional angle on this and it's an emotional mine's a little bit mine's a little bit emotional i put a j brown oh i'm not like i'm not like mad it it's kind of like that's emotional dk it's more he hurt you he hurt you well he was hurt yeah he got hurt too much um i don't know i'm just like never again on AJ Brown. He's like 25.

Well, Claypool's like 23 or whatever. Yeah. Come on. I guess maybe you're right. This is too emotional. No, that's good though. The roller coaster of AJ Brown this year, I'm just like,

I'll let someone else pick him. He might go off and then he might ghost you. The Titans offense is like fucking annoying. I don't know. That's just how I feel. I mean, the never again category is steeped in indignance, right? Like we are hurt by these players.

we feel wronged by them. Steeped in indignance. That's a great line. Yeah. Also, this one's stupid, but Jarvis Landry, I've just never, ever, ever drafting Jarvis Landry in any format ever again. There definitely are those guys

who are, like, getting close to 30, and you've done it a couple times. Is it Jarvis's fault? No, it's not. It doesn't matter, you know? It just doesn't matter. It's irrelevant. It's irrelevant.

It's irrelevant. It's fair. Yeah. Okay. All right. Ben says, with the news that the Washington football team

may change their name to the admirals, and then later finding out the name belongs to the major league quidditch team in Washington, D.C. I began thinking about NFL players playing quidditch. My question is, how would you draft your fantasy football quidditch team? Guys, I did some research on this. I don't know, hyphids, are you a, what's it call it, Harry Potter nerd? I love Harry Potter. I've read all the books, not in a long time, but I've read all the books, and I've seen all the movies. Oh, okay. So you know, you know, you know quidditch. You know quidditch. You know quidditch. Wait, Craig, did you never read Harry Potter?

No, I'm just going to head to the bathroom. You never read Harry Potter? I never read it. Never read it? Never seen it on... You know what? You know what the thing about Craig? I'm going to take the curtain back on Craig from a minute. Craig is going to be insulting?

No, I'm just going to be honest. You can decide. It's... Craig is like an artsy guy who likes good art. But I can tell you've always been afraid of being a nerd. Because you've never seen Lord of the Rings? I've seen Lord of the Rings. the first one.

That's the, it's the worst one. The other ones are better. Well, I'm not going to start with two. You've never seen Lord of the Rings. You have, like, you haven't, you haven't watched Harry Potter.

Like, I, I, I, you gotta, be a little vulnerable. Is you do Game of Thrones, Craig?

Yes. And you're resistant to Marvel. Like, I just, I can tell the... I'm not resistant to Marvel. I just don't adore it. I casually enjoy Marvel. I casually enjoy Game of Thrones.

Such a film snob, Craig. It's, it's a little, a little snob, little snobbery. Anyway, Hyfitz, you can tell me Quidditch.

Do you guys know what quidditch is? It's the broom game. Wow. Yes. It's like broom hand, it's like handball with brooms. I mean, if you really distill it down, yes, it is the broom game.

Isn't they capture the flag with brooms kind of? Yeah, except you're throwing. It's handball. It's handball with brooms. Okay. And then it's also, what? I was just going to say,

I was going to get into it because I did some research, AKA Skii, my girlfriend, who's assessed with Harry Potter, listen to all the binge remote Harry Potter, like read all the books.

Anyway, so she gave me some advice here. High Fitz, you can grade this. Is this power hour or power ranking quidditch NFL? Here's how she would do. Lamar Jackson is her seeker. Oh, that's what I picked too. Really?

Yes. Skip me! Yes! So the seeker's job among a lot of things is to go for this snitch. you if you capture the snitch. This is me repeating what's going to be. Craig is literally twiddling his thumb.

He's like so bored. Lean in, Craig. Pay attention. I need your focus. I'll have follow up questions. Go ahead. All right. So the seeker,

among other things, needs to be like very maneuverable fast, athletic on the broom because it's a broom game. But you also have to have a big picture. You have to read the defense. You have to know what's going on in the game. You have to play chess, not checkers.

you have to see the whole board if you're the seeker so that's how it was explained to me High Fitz, thoughts. Yeah, Lamar Jackson's a perfect seeker. Okay. Can I ask a quick question? Yeah.

In the real, I mean, in the fake real game of quidditch, in the Harry Potter World's Quidditch League, whatever the fuck it's called. Do you, is athleticism required? I know, is it like balance the most important?

Do you need, like, if you're strong, does that matter? Or is it more just like how well to fly the broom? It does because one of the things with quiddage. So like, I'm going to translate these guys as speed. I'm going to go

ahead and assume that their real-life speed would translate to their like broom riding ability. Oh, so that's how that works? No, but I'm going to go with the broom, Craig. The other thing you need to know for strength is that one of the cool things about it is the defense in quidditch, you get like bats and the bats are to hit the other players. So if you try to score, it's like soccer,

but the opposite. Instead of like, oh, you can't touch them in the box. If you come in the box, we're going to hit you in the face of the bat. And so my beaters are Miles Garrett and T.J. Y. Watt. And like, those are the guys I have with the baseball bats that are hitting anyone who tries to score. Okay, I like that. That's my defense.

Skippy told me George Kittle is her beater. Oh, that's a great one. Because he just goes, he goes beast mode on people. In retrospect, not having Kittle on my team's a huge oversight. When you say, are they hitting them with what? A bat. Like they have a bat. Looks like a baseball bat.

They're literally assaulting them. It's a bat and you hit the other player with the bat. It's almost like lacrosse, but you're flying in the air. Yeah, without the pads. Yeah. I think so, yeah. Yeah, it is like lacrosse except like you're not hitting the stick. To be clear, you're hitting the player.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because lacrosse, you can kind of like hit people with your... Kiddles is a good one. My chasers, chasers are the guys trying to score, and you have to be able to throw. That's the key. And like, but you also have to be fast because you can pass. It's like kind of like fast break basketball. I had...

I had Joe Burrow because he's a gamer and I want him on my team. I have Kyler, because I think Kyler is just, you know... Oh, Kyler's a good. good one. I also have Jarvis Landry because I think that he can throw better than like two quarters in the team. It's really bad timing for me because like you guys just said, I hate Jarvis Landry like moments ago.

Kyle will never get you a ring. How dare no one pick Herbert? Big, fast. Well, that's the thing. So my seventh spot, I have Herbert on my bench in case anyone get stabbed. Skippy told me CMC, so Christian McCaffrey for Chaser. Because you've got to get to the goal. Yeah, who's his backup because he's going to get hurt.

Skipy's right. I need McCaffrey and Kittle on my team. Oh, but my keeper is DeAndre Hopkins, which I'm convinced is the best pick. Oh, that's a great one. So this is exactly how Skippy explained it to me. So she said the keeper has to be really athletic, able to, like, reach, you know, really far and like one hand, the ball, blah, blah, blah.

So that's why we came up with Odell Beckham because he's just incredible at one-hand and catches. But Hopkins is perfect, too. No, I want Hopkins because Hopkins doesn't miss the easy catches. Odell does. Odell's going to, like, get the impossible ones, but the ones right at his chest will somehow squit. That's fair. That's fair.

Okay. This was an excellent question from Ben. Thank you. All right. Tim. Tim. We also sent out a request to people to ask, like, how do we get, like, substitutes in fantasy? This to me is the best solution yet. What if we introduced a one-time mulligan in this season? This is a fun rule.

Once a year, you could use the weekly score of a bench player who outperform one of your starters. This could create an extra layer of strategy, but when to cash in your mulligan, You could use it early in the season if you want to guarantee a win or you could hold it under the playoffs, but it might not ever get to use it. It would also ease some of your frustration if you lose a game due to a player injury or the poor performance. For example, if you started Amarke-Cooper

and had Braxton Barrios in your bench in the fantasy finals, you could use your Mulligan to take the points from Braxton Barrios 25 instead of Amar Cooper's 10. And that might be good compromise for leagues that don't want to go to like a best ball style or a roto style. I love this. I have no notes. You nailed it. this is like this is like uh phone a friend or like one of the things that you use on like how to be a millionaire

you have to strategize when to use it yeah you know because like if you don't use it you don't get to use it and you lose and you're out i like that there's a strategy to it and it's not just like pointless help for somebody when they don't deserve it you know it's not random i might suggest this in my league i think this is incredible and also how fun it would be in the group chat to be like someone's just like nope I'm using it this week and you pull it out of your pot you don't know what I mean like that would just be it would be fun yeah you could do like a whole song and dancing and also like you also know that some people would do it at an irrational time just to beat someone that they hate yeah absolutely you know what I mean like it just despite

maybe she sits against the same person every year I don't know like it'd be great imagine it could get pretty tricky imagine you're a team that's out of the playoffs and you haven't used your mulligan yet and you use it to prevent somebody you're playing to get into the playoffs And we're going to get fantasy court emails about people who, like, had one in the pocket, and they didn't use it. And the other guy goes, and if they use it. There's going to be like collusion, mulligan cases. It feels like the murder rate is going to go up if we enact this rule, though. There's going to be murders.

I think the murder rate's already gone up. Moving on. Good segue. Good segue. Out the window. Oh, my God. We need to from Out the Windows. This is a person on Twitter whose name was out the window?

Yeah, I think so. Okay, out. Out the window. I can nickname that, Craig. Audi. Any. You know, like short guys are. Very Australia.

Just added an E to the end of it. Just three peted in my home league. I'm wondering how much trash talk is appropriate. Can I replace the trophy with the stature of me? Can I demand my own exclusive washroom at the draft party? Or should I just be chill? I love, should I just be chill? Also, why an exclusive washroom?

What is that? What a strange second follow-up to that? I mean, in this day, in age. That's a nice... Is he assisting that, like, the other people in his league are not clean?

Like, is that... Yeah. So, is this person British? A washroom. It must be, right? Yeah. Does any region in this country refer to a bathroom as a washroom?

I don't think so. I don't know. I think you can be a real pain in the ass from out the window. I think you can be a real dick at the draft, constantly zinging people. I don't know if you can

maybe replace the trophy with a statue of yourself. That is kind of funny. But I think you can... I don't think they'll use it, to be honest. You have the power to do that. Except that.

I think you can be a real dick No amount of trash talk will suffice in my opinion But that's probably as far as it goes I think my question here is Why does he want the second bathroom What's he doing in there? Do you guys like In real life

Do you like people in your league Who are gracious winners Or do you like it when they're dickheads and asses? So I was just having this conversation with my friend Chris Because we have This guy Chase in our league just won and everyone loves rag on him and we're all annoyed that he won.

But then we were like, isn't it actually more fun this way? Because this actually is the spirit of fantasy football is like hating when somebody wins and being annoyed when they're happy. If he was just super chill and never said anything in the group chat and I sent him his money,

that's actually not that fun. That doesn't actually like set the example for what fantasy is supposed to be. I think the annoyance is part of it. I kind of feel like there's a fine line though because like if you already kind of don't like this person or whatever. No, but we're all friends.

I mean... I know. It's just, that's what I'm saying is there's a fine line because if it's someone in your league that you don't really know

that well or whatever and you think they're annoying, if they're like gonna talk shit, you're gonna like... Then it's like it gets more real. Like, this doesn't become fantasy football anymore. It's like, I fucking hate this person.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's a fine line. I like people who trash talk in my leagues, but I don't, I am not a trash talker. Even in real life and like pick up basketball. Like, I'm actually, this will surprise everyone who listens

to a podcast, but like, I'm actually pretty quiet, even playing pick up sports, and, like, fantasy is the same way. Like, when I, especially now that we do this for a living, like,

it's kind of like if you win, well, it's my job, like, you know, I just drop a gift. I drop a very well-cureded gift. So, like, when I won my fantasy baseball league,

I dropped the gift of Raphael Nodale winning Wimbledon, because obviously, like, Clay Court football is my home turf. Now I'm winning Wimbledon, you're all screwed. And so, like, I just have a very good gift for every year,

and that's it. I prefer to talk shit to people I don't know. I talk shit playing pickup basketball rather than move by friends. You're that guy. Really? I'm not going crazy, but like if somebody's like getting physical with me,

I'll start saying some shit. Craig, I got punched in the face one time playing pickup basketball. Did you really? What the, are you serious? Like by accident or like someone actually threw at you?

No, I kind of instigated him and then he punched me in the face. You instigated you? You? What did you do? Yeah, dude, DK's got a dark side. I could see it.

I could feel it. And then, well, it wasn't like a fight. Like, we got in a fight. Like, he just came up and punched me in the face. But you said you instigated it. What was the instigation? I was just like, you know, he was already perturbed.

And I, like, pushed him a little when we were in the paint, you know? And then he just, he just flew off the handle. And he punched you in the face. My buddy. Where were you at a gym? Were you outside? Yeah. I was at the Seattle Athletic Club back in the day.

Like, this was the one in Northgate. How old were you? Like, 23 or something like that. Oh, you were just a young buck. And he was like 18. Like, it was just like young kid. He was like, he just raged. So he, so I, so I, so I,

pushed him a little bit. He was already pretty pissed off, so I probably should not have been poking the bear or whatever, but he pushed me, or I pushed him, and he ran up to me, and I did one of those things where I'm like, come on, like, fuck off kind of basically, and then he just like punched me in the face. I probably should have been more ready for it. Well, that was like what Jonathan Allen did on the sideline for that Washington game where it's like, well, if you get shoved, don't shove back, you swing. Yeah. And then, and then, so anyways, I learn my lesson. Don't poke the bear. And then if someone's coming at, you'd put your fists up and be ready.

You know what I mean? But then my buddy, it was like straight out of like WWE. My buddy tackled him into some chairs. It was like kind of a hilarious situation. Hell yeah. Anyway. DK, what's your basketball game like? I imagine you as like a like a good rebounder, good in the post, footwork, like good

short. No? I mean, so I would say I classify my game as like I'm a three point shooter and a slasher from like the wing or something. Oh. I'm not like a post guy necessarily. I can post up all right, but I'm not like, I'm not staying in the post. Not a very good rebound.

We've played together. I would describe myself as like Pat Beverly and Glenn Davis's body. PJ Tucker? Yeah, PJ Tucker. Hyvitz is just barreling into people. Loose ball king. Hyvitz is the loose ball God. Just going after everything.

Just diving and like scrapping. Like screeching on the on the floor or whatever. Like most knee burns every single week went to hyphen. Just throwing his weight around. The only person who ever left Ringer pickup leading. The Ringer pickup was annoying because, like, all the tall people could also shoot and dribble. Well, we're relatively tall. It's rough.

It's rough. We're like 6-1, 6-2. We're not like basketball tall. No, Gringer, it was actually pretty good. I miss pickup basketball. That was great. Yeah. Anyway.

I've it's almost gotten like kind of a fight with a ringer and play. I won't say who. which one I feel like the remote now I really want to know I got a little testy there because he was like dude stop diving at people's legs

that's where the ball is okay all right moving on it's a funny question it's from Josh Josh Josh you're a burglar but you can only

you're a burglar but you can only steal stuff to mildly inconvenience your victims what are you stealing? Well, Josh says I'm stealing. Josh finishes that say, I'm taking their toothbrushes, which is great.

So in my world here is they can't replace this item for like a week. They got to live with this for like a week. I just think it's a day. The store is gone. No, like real life. Like, you just wake up and it's gone. I thought about this for a while.

Yes. And by a while, I mean, I sat there for like three minutes and thought about it. Towels. What do you do? How do you dry off? literally how do you dry off if you don't have a towel?

You can use a shirt. Yeah, you have to use your own clothes. You have to use, yeah, that's a good one. Here's one. Okay, go Hyvitz. Yeah, you go, D.K. I was going to say, I have a few here that I really like. All the light bulbs.

Take the light bulbs out of fucking everything. Even like the fridge, even like. Oh, yeah. Those are the light bulbs you don't think about. Think about like where are some light bulbs that you don't really think about. Like, I can't remember. Like the fridge is definitely one of the micro. wave, take it out of that shit.

Yeah. No light bulbs in the house. Bathroom lights are important. Imagine going to like the, imagine going and buying light bulbs for your house. Like you should wake up, there's no light. You're like, what the fuck happened? You think you have no electric.

You wake up, there's no light bulbs. Putting this together. Yeah. And then going buying light bulbs, putting them in, being like, okay, and then you open your fridge. The light bulbs gone in your fridge too. Also, that feels like a very specific light bulb. You have to buy in some like back corner of home meat like size.

Yeah. And then it arrives. Did you go to micro? Oh, okay, that's perfect. I, I just had socks.

That's terrible. Because, like, shoes is, like, more than a mild inconvenience, but, like, socks,

like, because you have to, you're probably going to have to, you either have to go long enough to not have socks, or, like, if you want to go anywhere, you're not going to have socks.

You go sandals, though. It's, it's January, Craig. We don't all live in California, my guy. All right,

yeah, I guess. Here's another one that I thought of that's along the same line, of the light bulb thing is just to take the batteries out of everything. Not smoke alarms. Not smoke alarms because you don't want to be like,

you don't want to get like manslaughter charges. Yeah, that's not mild inconvenience. But I'm saying like the remote control, you know, everything else that has batteries. What else has batteries now? That's a good question. Now I'm trying to think of other things.

Maybe just take the remote control. TK, I just thought of, I thought of an add-on for your batteries. When you said smoke alarms and you're like, we can't do, we can't remove smoke alarm batteries because you know, manslaughter charges

you could get serious. You want to only mildly inconvenience people. Here's what I would do. I would put almost depleted batteries in every smoke alarm. So they're just beeping everywhere. The whole house.

That's good. That's like the most heinous thing. You couldn't do anything. Take all the extra batteries and only like the ones that are just running out. So everywhere, every room has like a beep every 45 seconds.

Oh my God. What about all the core? Like all the cords. Like you leave the TVs and stuff, you just take all the cords. That's tough because it's like you have to have a specific cord that's like the right amperage or wattage or whatever. I don't know.

That's a really good question. This one is from Khan, which is great as a fall up to burglar. Khan. Khan says in 2011, I got to meet Tom Tom Club after their show. Wow. At the party like it's 1981,

Red Hook Brewery 30 year anniversary. Oh, wow. It was in Woodinville, Washington. I bought a t-shirt. I had Tina Weymouth sign my chest. Here's an attached photo. I stopped in Woodenville and route to the short-lived, but ever notorious Wong Festival.

The Wizards of the North Cascades held in a quarry outside of Bellingham. Yeah, holler. I was wondering if D.K. may have been at the festival. It was held in a driving rainstorm with a lot of underground live electronic bands, a lot of ketamine and Wooks falling into pond. Oh, my God. I don't know whooos used, to be honest. Long story short, Tom Tom Club is dope,

and there's a great roadside steakhouse along I-5. That I won $100 on poll tubs at the morning. after. D.K., were you at this festival? Sorry, I was not. You entered catamine at this festival in Bellingham 30 years ago? I have heard of this quarry. This quarry is like near Bellingham.

I don't know exactly where it is. This is where the kids go after they're getting fights at the Y. It's a specific type of, I think, look, maybe I'm getting this wrong, and people from Bellingham, if I am, like, let me know. But, like, I think it's like sort of like the hippie, larping, you know, like... Catamine.

Renfair. That kind of, like... effect. I guess this is like underground live electronic band. So maybe I don't know, maybe I'm just missing out on everything here, but it's like where the hippies go and hang out and listen to music and shit. That's kind of like how I understand it.

But no, I was not there. Sorry. That's a likely story. I don't believe you. D.K. was getting in fist of cuffs with guys in the court. He was kicked out with the Tompsock Club. I got punched at this festival, the North Cascades. Yeah. TK, I was a very serious question for you. Yeah. I don't think I've ever asked anybody this.

What did it feel like to get punched in the face? This one was... I will say, like, I don't want to overplay this. Does it really hurt? He punched me. I didn't... He didn't really connect well because, like, I didn't fall down. I just kind of, like...

It's just like, he punched me, and then, like, my buddy tackle him, and I just kind of stood there. Do you remember the pain you felt? Did it hurt? It didn't hurt that much. I did end up, like, having to get stitches because he, like, got it right on the sort of the... bone. So that was an inconvenience.

I'll never forget it. I'll never forget it. This was like two days before I was supposed to go back home for a wedding for my buddy's wedding. And I came in and I had like this giant black guy and like a DK. And like a thing on my face. And I walk into this wedding and I see my buddy sitting at the front, John. And he turns around at me and he just mouths, what the fuck? And I'll just like never forget that moment. We're in the fucking. And he turns around, he's like, what the fuck? Oh my God.

That's a great story. It feels like an old Will Ferrell comedy move. That's like a wedding crasher's thing. That's what I looked like. I was just, I look beat up. But yeah. You are a real rascal. No, that.

I mean, like, I don't remember it being painful, to put it that way. Like, it's one of those things where it's like it knocked my contact out. That was like the most like annoying thing is like I had to find my contact and put it back in. Nice. You're not giving this 18 year old an ounce of. of pride right now. If he's listening, he's like, damn, I didn't. I mean, he probably is proud that I had to go get stitches

and it was a huge pain of my ass. So there's that. Yeah, but you called it a mild inconvenience and it knocked your contact out. So, like, I would say you won that battle. We'll see. I don't know. Yeah, sure. Did you win the game?

No, I don't know. I left after that. I had to go get stitches. Were you winning at the time? I don't remember. You should have kept playing. Blunded. That would have been more bad. Just bleed all over.

for everyone. Yeah, well, now he's got to guard you and you're bloodline. By the way, this is, this is sort of unrelated, but I've had so many injuries playing my, like I played basketball growing up in like middle school,

high school, etc. Um, and after high school, like pick up and stuff. I've had, I've had to have my like, I've had to have a,

stitches several times, like, and like my eye socket. Stitches several times. I had to get, like super glued one time. Yeah, because like you get elbowed.

Oh, that bows. You like bonk faces or heads with someone. You're kind of a big guy, yeah. Yeah, like my buddy, Jackson Bevins, who's a, he uses his own podcast. It's great. The Cigar Thoughts podcast, he, like, I, like, read where he was going and he basically just, like, headbutted me so hard.

I had this giant, like, mass. I had to get 11 stitches on, like, my eyebrow area. I'm not going to lie. I probably have given people basketball injuries that they probably were talking about. Anyway. All right. This is from Kieran. this was my first season playing NFL fantasy.

I'm a longtime fantasy Premier League manager. And to be honest, I didn't do so well. Nonetheless, I found the pod hilariously entertaining from week to week, perhaps most of all. Craig's Australian accent. Believe it or not, one day on my commute to a new job in Dublin, Ireland, I was peering out into a dark morning in the Irish countryside. And lo and behold, my bus passed a small house called Bluestone. and in honor of this discovery,

I implore Craig to say Bluestone in his best Irish accent. Oh, God. First of all, I don't have an Irish accent. I only know the Irish accent in a stereotypical way where it's like, Ireland, you know? It's Boy Island.

I don't know if that's insulting or not, but I agree. It's like we hear the Americanized Irish accent and it's... And I think of like Connor McGregor and you kind of like try to speak like him, but Blue Stone and, like, I'd be like,

it's like blue stone that's kind of bad I don't know Cere Emil's back and say three Bluestone three because I love I love the way that Irish people say three it's like tree. Oh yeah tree and I just think of

like Brad Pitt and snatch Yeah Oh my God okay We get don't Have you guys noticed that we get a lot of emails Like the percentage of our international listeners that send us emails is so much higher than our American listeners.

Don't you think? Like, I check the numbers. It's like, we have like, you know, 100 people who listen in Ireland versus like thousands and thousands in America. And we'll get like 10 emails from people in Ireland, which is incredible. No, I think the actual answer is not to, I mean, if you guys actually have thoughts on this, email us at Ringer Fantasy Football at gmail.com, I don't want to speak for everyone. My guess is aggregate.

They have less people in their real lives to talk about NFL football with. Like, you probably are not talking about American football at their office with co-workers, but I bet that our American audience has way more people you can talk about it in your real life. So, like, well, it must well, email them because I don't have anyone, like my parents don't care, my friends don't, you know what I mean? Yeah, you're probably right.

All right, Rayall says that we make D.K. name bands each episode to end it. So we were wondering what's the best concert D.Ks ever attended. Oh, this is a good one. Okay, so I got, I wrote down a couple that were very memorable. I may have mentioned this before. I went to Modis Yahoo at the Merrimor Park. Oh.

And it was just an awesome. Not the Jewish rapper, right? Yes, the Jewish rapper. Yeah. Really? Yeah, it was so awesome. It was like the best, and I think he came up and he got very famous because he has incredible stage presence. Like he, you know, just really good.

He was at this time. I think he's not anymore, but he was a acidic Jewish guy who did rapping and beatboxing and all this crazy stuff. It was really cool. Great show. And he has like this incredible stage presence where he gets everybody really into it. So I'm on his Wikipedia right now. I'm right here. It says Matthew Paul Miller, known by his Hebrew and stage name, Modif.

Yahoo. That's the funniest thing I've ever to have his Hebrew name be his stage name be his stage name be his stage. Well, I don't, so I think now he is not Hasidic Jewish anymore. At least he isn't I think that's correct. Dress in the traditional garb or whatever and so anyway, so that was a really fun concert. It was awesome. Very memorable. I saw Band of Horses at Showbox Soto,

which was great. And then I wanted to shout this one out because this is like hilarious. I went to my buddies and I in 2001, I think, flew to Florida and watched and went to a Weezer show in Tampa, Florida. Because we wanted to go to Weiser. We wanted to go to Weezer. They weren't playing or like we missed the show or something in Seattle. So we were like, let's just go to Florida. My buddy's grandparents lived there. And so we stayed with his grandparents and went to the show. It was Weezer, saves a day in Osma at the Ice Palace in Tampa. And it was like this great trip. I was actually just texted with my buddy last night about it. It was like so fun.

Like we had, you know, all these adventures in Tampa, Florida, a very memorable trip. And then I was, I don't know how it came up, but literally like 15 years later, or 20 years later. This was like last year. So it was like literally 20 years later. I was talking to Kevin Clark about this. He was like, dude, I was at that show. Oh. We realized 20 years later, Kevin, like in sixth grade, because I'm a little bit older than Kevin.

Kevin was just like at that show probably like not far away from me, like, you know, getting into it. That was on the Zoom. We were on a Zoom with all the NFL staff because we were after the season and we had like a happy hour because obviously we had seen each other with the pandemic and everything. So we did this big happy hour. But like the difference in a Zoom happy hour and a real one is like there's one conversation at a time. And Zizuque and Craig hashed all this out as like 25 other people were just like on the call listening. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, my favorite realization ever is that like sixth grade version of Kevin is at this show in Tampa, Florida, you know. All right. This is from Caleb. Can you guys power rank the seven wonders of the modern world? I thought about this a lot. Okay. I did too. Now, to be clear, the pyramids of Giza and Egypt are part of the

modos of the ancient world. And it's like the only one of the only ones left. Have you guys been to any of these? Have you ever been to any of these? I have not, which has actually made me actually really think big things about post-Demic traveling. Yeah. Actually, I've been to the Coliseum.

I've been to two of these things. I went to the Coliseum in Rome and I've been to Chechenica. Oh, that's super cool. That's really cool. I power ranked the Great Wall China number one. Same. I thought the oldest wonders, to me, are the more impressive one. So I went Great Wall 1.

Also, it's thousands of miles long. It's a different kind of thing. It's 13,000 miles long. It took 2,000 years to build. Yeah, I think it's the Great Wall of China's number one. I put Coliseum 2. I did the Christian McCaffrey entering the season. I put Coliseum.

I did the same exact thing, Craig. Great Wall first. Roman Coliseum. Oh, I didn't have the Coliseum 2. I put the Petcher Rock 3. really i had it so i had macho pichu second because what i what i respect the most about these things is the irrigation like like how they move the water i'm serious like i know it's all about irrigation no but like irrigation like the steps and like how they're farming that like this unnot inhabitable but

like they made this land and habit with the water like that is amazing to me so i'm all about the irrigation so macho peaches number two for me which i want to go to macho pechu is like up in the mountains too like it's incredible yeah it's the ink is It's, I would love to go Machu Picchu. I think the Petroch is cool because it was made in like 5th century BC and it was like a crypt they built. Yeah. It looks like an Indiana Jones set and they made it in real life.

Well, they go to that in the third Indiana Jones. That's where the Holy Grail. It's supposed to be. But yeah, it was like literally carved into sandstone this entire crypt. It's incredible. I put Machu Picchu 4, Cheeching Needs of 5, Taj Mahal 6 and Christ the Redeemer 7. The only downer with all these is like your only question's like how'd they build this? And you're like, oh yeah, like unspeakable human cruelty, which is kind of a downer.

But all these, like the Petra Rock is insane. I think Taj Mahal I have lower. Christ the Redeemer is like huge, but it's just a statue compared to these other ones, which I was also made in the 1900s. Why is that one of the modern wonders of the world? What? What? How old is, come to think of it? I don't know anything about Christ the Redeemer.

What? That's kind of bizarre. There's nowhere. Are you serious? Unless I'm wrong. construction started in 1922. Oh, that's not on the list. They can't have that.

I know. Why is it even there? No, it's the Lord of but this can't be compared to things that are thousands of years old. Yeah, I know. That's why I was like, nah. So there's like steel rods

holding him up. Yeah, like, yeah, probably. Okay, that's probably not really a fair comparison to put him on this list. High Fitz, what did you, so speaking of massive human suffering, the Roman Coliseum, when you were in the Coliseum,

wasn't that just kind of crazy to think about like what had gone on there, So the reason I have it three is because they had naval battles. Like, again, I'm an irrigation sucker. They were able to flood the sand pit. Like, obviously, you've probably seen Gladiator in the movie. And, like, they are able to flood that and they reenacted naval battles. Yeah.

That's pretty crazy. That is like, think about that. We don't have any stadiums right now that can do that. Well, have you ever been to... We've hockey rinks. You ever been to the water, the circus show? Cirque to Soleil, they do, like, all the diving into the water. That's, like, the closest thing we've got.

Oh, well, maybe I'm wrong. I have not been a strict of sale, but Roman Coliseum invented that. So yeah, Coliseum is awesome. Rome is cool. Rome is properly rated. Also, speaking of irrigation, if you're in the Coliseum,

you saw all the Aqueducts, the aqueducts are pretty impressive to look at. Yeah, I mean, honestly, like the history of water is like the history of people, right? I mean, Aqueduct is pretty important. Big fan, big fan irrigation. I didn't know that about you.

That's a fun little fact. Love water. That's a nice hinge profile fact. Big fan of irrigation. No, because then they're like, I'm a Pisces. Okay. One thing you don't know about me.

I love irrigation. That'll get the likes. Yeah, exactly. This is from Ba. Ba. Ba. Okay, so in the summer episodes of Bluey, they wear swimsuits. But walking around in everyday life, they don't wear anything.

Same with purple underpants. So they are aware of nudity, but it's inconsistent. D.K., what are your thoughts? Yeah, this is definitely, this really got me thinking. Also, it made me think of Winnie the Poo. Poo, which is one of, so the background is we talk about Bully a lot, because Calvin, my son loves Blylew. Calvin also really loves Winnie the Poo. Basically, his two favorite cartoons, and Winnie the Poo just wears a T-shirt. No pants. Think about that in like real life. You just walk

around only wearing a T-shirt. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, I can't answer this, but we've got some important questions. We're going to do our own research. I'm going to get back here. All right. This is a really heartfelt email, actually. I wanted to end up. this one because this one's really cool. This is one of my favorite emails we've ever gotten. This is from Anna. Anna. Anna. I heard your request for mailbag emails and though I have no questions, no fun facts

or pithy comments, this will be a long email. I just wanted to really thank you for your show. This past September, some dads in my nine-year-old daughter's fourth grade class sent around an invite to do a parent-child league. I've been a huge football fan for decades, but never had any interest in fantasy. But I decided to talk to my otherwise non-competitive and non-sporty daughter, IFA,

into doing it as a bonding experience. And her name is spelled A-O-I-F-E. It's Gaelic, so it's pronounced IFA, but their team name was Fantasyifa football, which I actually thought was very creative. Oh, that's, I like that. Ifa was only one of two girls who signed up, and I was the only mom.

With absolutely no understanding of fantasy football, we crash course, prep for the draft, and unwittingly based all our research and rankings on PPR, not realizing ours was standard scoring, leading us to significantly draft worse than if we just let the computers do it. We also ended up drafting a few players

that were duds early on. And so perhaps we stupidly, we ruthlessly pruned our roster and by week six, we had four of our originally drafted players. So how did we fill our roster? By waivers and streaming two to three players every week by assiduous research

and religiously listening to your podcasts. I don't have any social media accounts. I've never listened to a podcast before. But I always loved reading The Ringer. And luckily, we found your podcast in week two and we have not missed an episode since. Sadly, a bit too much cursing for me to listen to it with my daughter.

So she and I listen. I know, I know, I know. So we should curse less. This is a 22-2 goal. We should curse less. Yeah. Yeah. We need a jar. You've helped us identify players that have defined our season like Corderoe Patterson,

other backups to plug in for several weeks like Derell Williams, Sony Michelle, and the one week must starts like to Ernest Johnson and Justin Jackson. Add in some lucky breaks. And my daughter shrewdly negotiating trades during recess. She traded Carson Wentz away for Jalen Hertz. And she traded Cortland Sutton away for T. Higgins. They ended up as the number one seed

with an 11 and 3 record. Wow. And Anna continues. The only three of her originally drafted players on our total roster. Austin Eckler, Travis Kelsey, Keenan Allen. We just won our championship. Love it. And we did it as fairly significant underdogs. The really awesome thing about

all of this is that several of the kids in my daughter's league are these hyper-competitive nine-year-old boys who trashed her all season. And like I she's a pretty shy kid, but I could tell how much self-confidence being good or quotes around good or just lucky gave her from being good or lucky fantasy football. And it gave me unspeakable pleasure to beat these nine-year-old boys.

This was such an unforgettable experience for both of us, such a special and positive oasis in an otherwise heavy year of drudgery, COVID-closed contacts in her classroom, and more than anything else, monotony. Even though she didn't get to listen to your podcast, because of the cursing, she loved hearing some of the stories and especially like to weigh in on fantasy court rulings. I cannot thank you guys enough. I enjoyed every bit of your content, the Bass Pro Shop revelations, the diatribes about the Giants, the sump pump. We intend to do as you suggested and donate to Austin Eccler's charity. I encourage everyone to donate to charities to their players, also to an animal welfare group

in honor of Betty White. Do you guys have a preferred charity that we can donate to? You did just as much for us as anyone. At one point, relatively early in the season, exhausted from the pressure to stay so on top of waivers in the news, I said to my husband, I'm really not enjoying this fantasy football thing. I think the solution is to either never do this again

or to join like 20 leagues. It'll probably be the latter. And I cannot wait to listen to you guys all next season, Anna. I definitely, number one, thank you for that. That was awesome. We all really enjoyed it.

It was very heartwarming and number two. Definitely join 20 leagues. Yeah, do the default, the DK method. Yeah. Anna's all 22. That'll be a new.

segment. Yeah, I mean, it was just so awesome to hear that we could help you guys win that league and obviously do some bonding. And that's basically, honestly, this is what fantasy football is all about, really. It's like an excuse to hang out with your friends, to maybe bond with your parents or with your coworkers or whatever. And so it's really, really cool to hear that. You know, one thing about fantasy football, that's really cool. And I thought about this when I was listening to Plain English with Derek Thompson, one of our newest ringer pods. Everybody should listen to it. It's extremely intelligent podcast. But he has a lot of had somebody on and they were talking about how nowadays we don't have a sense of community like we used to.

A lot of people used to go to church more and have much more localized neighborhood events and local sports and things like that really created a sense of community. And Derek's guest actually referenced fantasy football as one of the last remaining ways that people build a sense of community. So in a weird roundabout way, you know, I don't know, it just makes fantasy football feel a little bit bigger than what it is on paper sometimes. And emails like this from Anna make me feel really good. Yeah, absolutely. I, you know, on a serious note, like, it has allowed me, fantasy football has allowed me to, like, stay closer to a lot of my friends because it's like we have this thing that we're all doing together that we bullshit about. I got much more into fantasy football after a friend of mine

from high school died. And I was like, I need to, you know, stay in touch. with all these people that I don't have other reasons, like strong specific reasons on a day-to-day basis to, like, get in touch with, you know what I mean? So I absolutely 100% agree with that. Like, it's so cool that fantasy football can be this thing that we all, you know, bullshit about and talk about and talk trash about. And so I think that was a great email and a good reminder for like, like you said,

Craig, it is bigger than just like this stupid thing that we do. It's like, you know, it's interacting. It's having that community. I vibe with what Crixa, too, because I think especially, I mean, look, let's be real. Like, more men listen to this podcast than women. I think that men, especially as you leave college, are worse at keeping in touch with their friends than women over time.

And, like, fantasy football is, like, if nothing else, it's an excuse to stand judge with people as they grow part. What I loved about reading this email from Anna was, I'm going to be honest, it never really occurred to me that anything we did would ever help someone, like, help their, like, strengthen their relationship with their nine-year-old daughter. Never mind your daughter by any sort of confidence. Right.

I'm not taking any credit for that. Honestly, you guys win your leagues. Like, if you guys won your leagues, to answer the question Anna has in here, I have charities we prefer. I would prefer you guys donate to the players. My real request is focus on the players who partner with a full-time charity

instead of like the player-specific charities, quite honestly, like if a player has a charity that's like their number, like their personal charity, it's probably not quite as efficient with their dollars as it is like a much larger institution. I would ask you to prioritize those. but the players won your championship,

you guys won your championship and paying attention, quite honestly, whatever we say on these pods every week, at the end of the day, you guys are the ones making decisions to spend an hour thinking about fantasy football in the background of what you're doing.

Just the fact that you're making that choice is ultimately what's actually winning you your leagues, is your dedicating time that other people in your league are not. And that's why you're winning. So while I appreciate it, we didn't win any leagues for anybody, like you guys have won all your leagues.

And including you, Anna and IFA, like this was one of the most, heartwarming emails I've ever gotten. I really appreciate it. And on that note, like, that's, that's our, that's our regular season right there. That was awesome. We have one other amazing episode coming to you guys left. I guess that's not real. That's the penultimate regular season episode. We have the fantasy rewatchables.

That's right. That's right. I can tell you right now that that is a top two episode we've ever done. Last year. Yeah. Last year's fantasy rewatchables was one of my favorite episodes we've ever done. I'm so excited for that one. That's on Monday. Please don't miss that. I think it's our favorite episode of the year, right? Shouts to Bill Simmons for allowing us to sort of like take his idea. Yeah, we begin the last one. So we did it for the first time last year and I think I started it by being like, and I know what everybody is thinking, are we going to get fired for this?

No, we're not. Bill gave us permission. Yeah. So I, yeah, so check that out. But again, just thank you to everyone who emailed it. I'm sorry we didn't get to respond to everybody, but we really did try to get through as much as we can. And honestly, this is a joy. Like, this podcast is fun mostly because I just like talking to D.K. and Craig, but also just everyone, like, the engagement we get with you guys, we try to make it as much of a two-history as we can, and it's awesome. And like an email like this from Anna is like really like made more than my day. I'll put it that way. Yeah. I mean, I've worked at a ton of shows at The Ringer now. I've produced a lot of stuff. And the fantasy football show here,

by far has the most engaged, connected kind of family feel of an audience that I've ever seen. So it's really heartwarming and we're happy with, I don't know, what we've built. What we've built, and everybody who's helped us along the way. It's been really nice. Yeah, it has been very cool. We appreciate all of you guys in choosing to spend your time with us. We don't take that for granted.

So thank you, everyone. Getting all sappy. I know, we are. Yeah, we are. Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you to everyone who has been listening to us for one episode or hundreds.

We really appreciate it. But most of all, thank you, Lorne. Lorne Michaels. I'm going to shout out, Modis Yahoo. Thank you, Modis Yahoo. One day. One day. You know, that song, it's a great song. Wow. Can we play a clip of him or like, no?

Probably not. No. Yeah. Go look it up there. I work, like, on this show. I have no idea what we're allowed to play. You know what? I actually think no one does. That's what I've kind of learned. I still, I think it's just completely, it's very hazy. Actually, wait, I have one modest Yahoo thing. There's a TikTok out there, or I'm sure it's on YouTube and stuff like that. There's this awesome video of him in Hawaii.

I don't know how long ago. His hair is all, he's no longer dressed in the traditional, like, Jewish wear they used to do, used to wear. But he's got like long hair. He's just hanging out in like a coffee shop. And there's a guy playing a guitar singing one day. And Montesha'u is standing there with this cup of coffee, vibing with him and singing with him. And the guitarist has no idea.

And after it, the guitarist comes up and goes like, oh, or Madashahou goes up to the coffee guy and is like, Oh man, you did a great job. And the dude's like, oh, thanks. And Modis Yahoo's like, you know who wrote that song? And the guy was like, yeah, it was Modis Yahoo. And he's like, yeah, that's me. He's like, that's me. And it's super cool.

You should check it out. Wait, yeah, wait. We'll tweet that out. That's a video. Yeah, it's really cool. All right, we'll tweet that out. That's really cool. Okay.

All right. Thank you again, everyone. Thank you, Madish Yahoo. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Fantasy rewatchables next week. Don't miss it.