The Ringer NFL Show - The Free Agency Hangover

Episode Date: March 15, 2024

LIVE SHOW in Detroit on April 24: Click below for tickets! Earlier this week we played the Adam Schefter Free Agency Drinking Game, and today we have the free agency hangover. The guys check back in on players and teams around the NFL to piece together what they did last night and pass out awards for those who maybe went a little too hard (2:59). “You guys want to do some emails?" (44:55) Tickets: http://bit.ly/ringerdraft24 Check out our 2024 Ringer NFL Draft Guide here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck, and Ben Solak Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, it's Brian Curtis from The Ringer, and I want to tell you about the Press Box podcast. The Press Box is a podcast for anybody who likes news, whether it's about sports or politics or pop culture, and wants to understand how that news really gets made. We have news shows every Monday and Thursday. We have long interviews with everyone from John Crackauer to Joe Buck. Your social media feeds are bursting with information every day. Let us help you sort it out. Join us on the press box.

My name is Danny Hyphen. I am joined by Danny Kelly, Ben Solick, and Craig Horlebeck. We did the Adam Schaefter free agency drinking game. And now it is time for the free agency hangover where a bunch of teams wake up and check their credit card statements and say, we gave how much money to Robert Hunt? Robert Hunt just catching a stray out here.

It's rare that we have an episode that we can actually summarize in one sentence really well. And that nailed. it. That was right on the nose. What happened last night? Oh, God. I don't know. You can spend that much money on Robert Hunt. That's crazy. Where's my credit card? Yeah, I tipped 100%. God, I'm nice. How much guaranteed did I give to the man with the waitress? That's unbelievable. We're going to, yeah, we're going to go through and check every team's credit card statements.

But first, NFLdraft.3.com. Dinkis got his top 50 players, big board there, incredibly detailed scouting reports and everything checking out. It's also so good for your phone. And like, it just looks so good. And you can. It's really good for your phone. It's good. It's healthy for your phone. Healthy for your phone. Your phone needs it.

Well, that's right. Roughage. Rough. Roughish. Just roughish. Roughish. The eye is silent. Or is there an eye in the word?

That's why silent. I don't know why I'm picturing. And not only is it silent. It's invisible. That's the eye. The eye is silent, invisible, not present. It's my language. Yeah.

Also, if you missed our earlier episode, we are doing a live show in Detroit the week of the NFL draft. The episode is. description, we'll have the link. And God forbid if anyone mispronels the word in that live show, it will come off the rails. You said prescient, and I let that slide, but I'm not anymore.

Precian is a way that you are allowed to pronounce the word. No, it's both. It's prescient and prescient. Yeah. Yeah, but if you say prescient, it sucks and prescient. Oh, I've heard prescient. I've heard prescient. Yeah. Oh, now we can just pronounce words in different ways. It's fine.

Whatever. Fine. Let's get to the damn show. Unbelievable. It's just bad luck, hyvitz. The words you choose. whatever fine there you go Craig just start us off here uh take us through some credit card statements we're just going to recap you know free agency a little more um you know in the sober harsh light a day

yeah we're going to kind of loosely assign each team kind of like a hangover not the movie but just like the state of being hung over or going out at night like we're going to give it a category or an award kind of so we're going to start out with the titans here and and i think the titans are it's paying for bottle service that's what the titans did it's a sixty dollar bottle of Casamigos, and they're dropping 600 for it. They want the lights, the girls coming in, waving it back and forth. Everyone cheers. And then maybe the next morning, you get up and you're like, 50 million guaranteed to

Calvin Ridley? He's 29? I thought he was 26. Did I miss that? I had half a bottle of Calvin Ridley at home. It was dark in there. I didn't see his ID very well. I thought the nine was a six.

So, yeah, I mean, if you just look at specifically on the offensive side of the ball, the Titans, you know, they got Calvin Ridley, 50 million guaranteed. They signed Tony Pollard, three years, 24 million. Guard Lloyd Cush and Barry, one of the all-time names, $50 million. So now this team, this offense around Billy Jeans, Will Levis, has Tony Pollard, DeAndre Hopkins, Calvin Ridley, Traylon Burks, Shiga Conquo at tight end, and a decent line. And I think, look, sometimes overspending isn't great, but other times it's like, you know what, did I have a fun night?

20 years from now, am I really going to be upset that I spent $600 on that? Well, that was a great night. We got a lot of photos out of it. So I think my overall takeaway from this, and I'm curious what you guys think is, if the Panthers did this and gave this offensive arsenal to Bryce Young, wouldn't we be like, good job, Panthers? You're at least putting good players in front of Bryce Young for him to succeed. That is what they're doing for Will Levis.

No, I agree with that strongly, Craig. I think that an important part of evaluating your rookie quarterback is making sure you have a general floor of offensive production. So you don't walk into a situation where, like, Justin, fields in year three, right? We're like, well, he might still be good. We just haven't, we've never given him the players to be good. It's too late now.

We don't really know what exactly the guy is. We missed the developmental window. And I think the Titans, they're paying more than I expect him to pay. They're a lot more aggressive and free agency and I thought they would. A lot of the Calvin Ridley signing, I think is just, you know, screwing over your buddy. You don't actually like that much, right? It's like, he's talking a big game about all the money that he's going to drop. And then the 11th hour, you just start, I don't know, paying more than he does.

This is a contrived bar example. but the Jaguars let Calvin really get to free agency, the actual opening of the league year, because in doing so, they only send a third round pick in trade to the Falcons, not a second round pick. And the Jaguars were very confident

they were going to resign Calvin. They were like, Calvin, we got a deal for him, it's great. And at the 11th hour, the Titans were like, bang, $23 million. And the Jaguars weren't able to counter that. And so they're spending more than I thought they would. But in general, they've put an infrastructure in place

for like, if Levis has something to them, which there were flashes last year. We were like, this guy's got something. we will be able to see that pretty reliably over year two for him, year one with Brian Callahan. So I like the theory for them. I agree. If they were doing this for Bryce Young, I like it a lot. My other thing with Calvin Ridley is there is absolutely a sticker shock with Calvin Ridley,

with four years, $92 million. I would say that's fake, but even then two years, $50 million is really what they gave Calvin Ridley, Tennessee did. And it reminded me, my first thought when I saw that, I swear, was I was at a bar last week. And I paid $9 for a Kona. Yeah, dude, flex. and I paid $9 for a Kona. Good beer.

And I'm like, when did like, like, craft beers got more expensive. I get it. But I'm like, I don't know. Sometimes like place will charge core, Coors light will charge like $8. And I'm like, when did this happen? I feel like I used to get a Chipotle bowl for $8 or $9. And everyone knows that things are more expensive now in real life with inflation. But we don't talk enough that the NFL has inflation too.

We never talk about this. But it's like, oh my God, Kirk Cousins, $45. Daniel Jones, $41 million. Well, Daniel Jones. is making like twice as much as Eli Manning ever did because the NFL's making twice as much money as the NFL ever did. The salary cap. So I think that that's something we don't talk about enough.

But the sticker shock, part of it's because they're paying Cald-Ridly a lot. But part of it's also, the salary cap has gone up a third in like three years. And so I feel like that also is something we probably don't talk about enough. It's like Subway. You know, Subway is still somehow hanging on to the $5 foot long theme. Are they? It is impossible. I defy somebody to get a fucking subway sandwich for it.

It has to be like bread and mayonnaise. And then it would be a $5 foot long. It's like you had turkey and lettuce. It's like jumps up to $8.50. Yeah. I will say there's also using, again, hitting the salary cap thing. For the Titans,

it's a little bit like you go into the bar. You've got all this money, right? You got a ton of money. You have to spend a minimum of it, right? You have a salary cap floor. You're going to have more next year. Next time you go to the bar. You're going to not get bottles or you might as well.

The money's in the bank, baby. Let's go. This is like rationalizing, well, I'm going to get a paycheck next month. This is grown up. This is going to spend this money. Yeah. Sometimes it's fun to get bottle service, you know? Maybe that's the lesson.

Sometimes it's fun to feel like a baller. Yeah. Yeah, kids, if you're listening and the youth out there that are taking their advice from us, just spend so much money on alcohol club. Because there's always more money in the bananas. If it makes you look really cool, maybe do it. Have to look so cool. Worth it?

Yeah. Can you imagine what an individual would become if they took most of the best? their advice from this podcast. If that's just how they led their lives? Well, we'll see how Kai ages. Yeah. Kai is the test case. Nature versus nurture, guys.

All right, DK, next up here. Give us her next, uh, free agency hangover. All right. So the Panthers. I feel like the Panthers are the guy who just goes out, make some bad decisions. Maybe, uh, probably shouldn't have done those Irish car bombs immediately followed by the Yeager bombs. You're buying everybody around you, like shots, drop shots.

And they puke and rally because they just want to keep the party going, you know? And that's Carolina Panthers who, look, honestly, they made some bad decisions over the last couple of years. They didn't get a lot for the trades that they went out and executed. They didn't get good returns first year with Bryce Young. But you know what? They're still in it. They're not quitting. They're going to keep going. They're going to keep buying people's shots. They went out and spent like $11 billion on a couple of guards that could potentially help Bryce Young have a better pocket, which again is going to be useful in year two. So, you know, I kind of like, it's one of those, it's one of those teams where it's like, man,

I'm glad I'm not them, but like I respect the drive and the energy that they're giving out. I don't ever want to be that person. But like, you know what? They're funny. It's funny to watch from afar, be like, that guy's peaking and rallying. That's hilarious. Anyway, I'm going to head home. If I was that guy, I'd be out.

Like, I'd be done. I got to tell you, as a Giants fan, I almost feel like. we threw up earlier in the party, but now someone else threw up, like, all over, and it's like way more public. Like on the dance floor. Yeah. Oh, man.

Now everyone forgot that the giant. I have a buddy who was a big believer in the boot and rally. He was like, this is a high efficiency move in college. And I would go visit him and I would stay with him. Like, I'd stay at crash in his apartment, his dorm. And he was a big boot and rallier. And I was like, dude, I can't go home until you go home. You can't do.

The proximity of the boot and rallier is very important, man. Far away, hilarious. Close to him. Devastating. Panthers fans, Panthers fans hating this. NFL fans who are watching the Panthers, loving this.

This is great content. How would we grade the Panthers job at, you know, giving Bryce Young the goods to succeed? See. I thought the Deontze Johnson trade made sense because if you look at the receiver group before that trade,

literally the worst in the NFL, probably by far. And they get a guy who, in theory, gets open and gets open early in his route so you can get rid of the full. football quickly, Bryce Young can get rid of football quickly, keep the chains moving, play more in rhythm.

So I thought that made, that move made sense. I think in free agency, this is kind of like what we're talking about with the Titans. Like sometimes you just have to overpay to get the guys that you really want. And I think they probably did that with the two guards that they got. But I think the Panthers kind of got bottle service after the boot rally. They threw up and then got bottles. Right. All things considered, I think they did fine.

They also live in a city where things were more expensive, not in the like New York, LA perspective or like things are more expensive here because the people are richer, but in the like, nobody really wants to come here, so we have to pay more to get you to come here since, right? I think they're paying, we're notoriously mismanaged and bad at winning games tax. Deonti Johnson, man, like, I think the deal was good.

I think Dante, who they were probably going to cut anyway, and a pick swap for Deonti Johnson is good business. Now when I, it's a value, nice. When I go to ask the A.J. Brown Marquise Brown question, right? It's like, hey, you have acquired a potential wide receiver one to help your young quarterback. If it's AJ Brown for Jalen Hertz, you're going to the Super Bowl. If it's Marquis Brown for Kyla Murray, it's going to have no impact on your team whatsoever.

Where does Deontay land in that scale? For me, he's closer to the Marquis Brown side of things than the AJ side of things. I think that he can help. I think that he will have value, but like, will he be more helpful than, I don't know, random name, DJ Moore, who notorious once Carolina Panther who went to Chicago and helped Justin Fields? I'm not convinced. So I think it is good value. I'm not sure he's going to have the rising tide lifts all boats impact on Bryce.

young that we've seen other star receivers have for other quarterbacks. Right. All right. D.K., give us one more here. All right. So just paid a picture here. You got two friends, both of them are in separate relationships. Maybe it's not like you don't necessarily think these are the best relationships for them.

Certainly not getting the most out of each other in the long run. And then those two friends each break up with their significant others around the same time. And guess what? They end up at a bar on around the same night. And they decide to finally consummate what has been a long time. time crush. This is, of course, a really convoluted way of saying, Derek Henry is with the Ravens, and I love it. Love to see this couple happen. I'm shipping them. I'm just using as many, like, millennial terms as possible here. Two recent divorcees who found each other. Yeah, they're like,

you know, they've been friends for a long time. Always had a little wandering eye, but, uh, you know, finally worked out for him. Apparently, uh, the Ravens tried to trade for Derek Henry last year. Uh, It didn't happen. They tried to do the, I think the Yankees did. Let's just swap line. Right. Right. Anyway, it's just good to see two people be happy.

You know what I mean? Like, this is just such a good fit. I feel really good about this relationship. I'm very curious about this fit because everyone seems to be very happy about it, right? You know, every running back on the Ravens will run for over five yards of carry. It seems like it doesn't matter who you throw in there. And now you throw in Derek Henry. So it's like, you know, the ceiling is the roof, as Michael Jordan put it.

But I don't know. I'm like, is his value going to be more inflated than it even should be? Because Derek Henry on the Titans, like, already was like the best running back ever kind of. And I'm like, is his ceiling really better than it was on the Titans when he was getting 30 carries a game for like 180 yards and two touchdowns every game for like five years? I'm actually, I actually think he might be overdrafted this year because I'm not sure fantasy-wise he's going to be better on this team as he was on the Titans. But can I use this moment to say that the Ravens basically give it Derek Henry like what two years for $16 million so 8 million a year? I mean, the Giants gave Devin Sincletary $6 million a year. So I mean, let's just start with that.

Derek Henry, do you know how many years Derek Henry has led the league in rushing recently? Like in Russia attempts, excuse me, like how many times he gets the ball? All of them? Five, six? Four of the last five. He has been the most. And in the year he didn't, he only played eight games. And he was on pace in that season to have like over 400.

carries. All right. There is nobody who got the ball, like Derek Henry got the ball in Tennessee. So he's just not going to have the volume in Baltimore that you'd like for him to hit the fantasy ceiling. Now the help team win game ceiling. Like this guy was going to the playoffs.

Titans were number one seen in 2020 or 21, whatever it was. Helped team win games. He was already doing that with Tennessee. There's going to be a big boost in that in Baltimore just because everything that Gus Edwards was for them in short yardage and a goal line, Derek Henry is going to be that and then a little more on top, right?

A little chair on top as well. And so it's a great fit. But yeah, he's not going to get 349 carries as he did in 2022. I think that world is kind of over for him. I think what will be really interesting is seeing Derek Henry more in shotgun because of the Titans, so basically if you strip out, if you just look at run situations, the Titans basically were running half his carries out of under center and half at a shotgun.

Ravens were basically running like four to every five of their runs from shotgun. And so Derek Henry is going to be there. And I feel like Derek Henry, you think of under center as like a better place. He's a downhill running back. But in reality, Derek Henry actually was like a full yard per carry better at a shotgun. More like he went from under four yards per carry, which is like average to bad. So like he almost was five yards per carry at a shotgun last year. And I kind of wonder what happens with the Ravens.

You just think about Lamar Jackson, Derek Henry in the same backfield. It's almost like this is probably a bad analogy. But Lamar and Derek Henry almost running a pick and roll of this absurd skill set combo of Lamar. And then you have like Zay Flowers lining up almost as the three point shooter with guys like Mark Andrews and Isaiah likely cutting the basket. I know that's kind of a convoluted metaphor, but it's kind of an absurd challenge for defense. No, keep going.

Keep going. Who's Mark Andrews? Hold up. One cook. I'm trying to think about using it. Who is Keaton Mitchell? Hot dogs. The backup point?

Who are the hot dogs? I mean, everyone said this, but like they are the, it is like a very thundery, thundery, thunder and very lightning lightning. I think me to kind of said that. But like, Keith Mitchell is like just, but maybe I, hmm. We destroyed him. We really broke him down there. I'm very excited to see Derek.

I gauge a lot of my free agency grades off of how excited am I to see you stand next to your new teammates. Like, Seyquot and AJ Brown, I'm thrilled. I can't wait. I can't wait to see Derek Henry and Lamar Jackson stand next to each other, right? Just both of them, six two, six three, one of them 30 pounds denser than the other, just hanging out in the same backfield. That's good. Oh, that's going to be sick. I can't wait.

All right. So like, give us the next one here. Next one, yeah. This is the Ben Solac Award, or more accurately, the people who did. not go after the club, got eight hours of sleep, woke up at 7 a.m. Hit the gym. I don't really do that. Farmer's market came home and made everyone breakfast.

Farmers market. This is the, right, I don't go out and spend money. I'm being getting waters. All right, I've been getting several waters. And then I, my Saturday is very standard. The Kansas City Chiefs here are the big team for this. If you go and you check right now, free agency recaps, everybody is just like, you know, oh, furious, the cowboys haven't done anything.

Like, why isn't Dallas going to making acquisitions? The Chiefs have signed zero free agents. The team went to the Super Bowl last year, and they're like, yep, nailed it. It worked last year. I'm not breaking my routine. Yeah, every day. Absolutely. No, I'm done with all that, all that partying going out there.

No, I live a good, healthy life now. I'm a champion, all right? I know what I'm doing. They've lost Tommy Townsend. They've lost really gay. They've lost Nick Allegretti. These are important role players, thumb, plus a punner. But in general, like, they have made absolutely no acquisitions.

And so Kansas City right now, just standing on business. It's literally the happy Gilmar quote, the shooter McAvon. It's like, hey, did you see that the Steelers got Russell Wilson? The chief's like, no, I didn't see that. I was too busy winning. Yeah. No, Kansas City is completely and totally. Just hanging out, watching everybody else get drunk, watching everybody else play for bottle service,

sit in the corner, drinking their water, checking their watch. It's like me at the combine. Just how soon can I go to sleep? Absolutely. Me and Brett Beach, of the same mind. I keep thinking of this Nate Bargazzi. joke where he's talking about how you get older. And when you're young, your friend says, hey, we'll go out.

Let's go out. And then he's like, yeah, let's do this. Where are we going? Let's go. And he's like, you're super excited about doing. Oh, yeah, I have heard this. And then as you get older, you're like, what time we're going to be? Like, what time is that?

How far away? I think I'll drive separate. Yeah. I think I'll drive separately. I feel like that's the chiefs right now. They're just like, you know, I got, I'm good, like, I'm tired. Yeah, you guys go out there, have fun. You know.

My favorite thing is like, you guys. You could have expected the Chiefs to have, like, literally just one beer. Like, they objectively need a wide receiver. They objectively need a tackle. Like, it would be very fine for them. Just be like, and also Marquis Brown. Or like, and also Tyrant Smith. And they're just like, no.

I'll be saying it home in my sweatpants watching TV at 830. Next one here. This is the, um, hooking up, drunkenly hooking up with the 45-year-old Cougar at the bar. And that's, that's going to my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers signing Russell Wilson. Which, by the way, Craig was all in on 36 hours ago. And I still am. Oh, still am. Craig's into coogers, yeah.

I have no issues with that. Love is love. But, yeah, this is like, you know, you're hooking up with the 45-year-old cougar. Maybe she's got a kid. But, you know, she's getting alimony from her former ex-husband. So what's the big deal? You don't have to pay for anything. The Broncos are paying alimony.

Yeah. Ditters on him. look, the ex is paying for everything. Let's go have a good time. Right. Russ did not get the house in the separation, right? That goes over it. But he did get quite a lot of money in the settlement. You know what?

It's a one-night stand, but it's all expenses paid. There's a lot of, like, crass analogies I could make here, Craig, but I'm going to refrain. You know, the difference between Russell Wilson and Kenny Pickett, it's like, you know, 45-year-old women. They know what they're doing out there, you know? Oh. They've been there before. Okay.

They're not afraid to take charge. Can you pick it? Small hands. Doesn't know how to you. Russell Wilson, have you seen these hands? I mean, can you imagine what those hands can do to a football?

He knows what he wants. Yeah. And the other thing about Russell Wilson and Cougars is it sounds like a good idea. And then once the conversation starts, you're like, yeah, this is like a lot weird. We have nothing to talk.

Yeah. Right. Going out with the younger person, like you have to, you know, oh, play the game. you know, like, you know, flirt and kind of set the table

and, like, put the hours in. Russ is just like, listen, I don't mess around with that. I don't throw to the middle of the field. I know what I want. I know what I don't want. It's very straightforward. Yeah.

This is, this is very well done. Let's keep going. Let's keep going. What else we got? All right. So, my next one here. So free agency awards.

Me leaning on all my experience of picking up coogers at bars. Let me just go back in that. So, yeah. Yeah. So you met your wife. Yeah. So do you guys, I feel like this is an architect.

Do you guys know the person who went to high school? You went to high school with this person. And they were like really scrawny. And then like maybe you see them at a bar of, you know, Thanksgiving or something, you know, Thanksgiving, saying you're home from college or afterward or something. And they're like actually yoked now. Like they are jacked. Yeah. You're at the bar.

Yeah. Like Thanksgiving breaks on you're at the bar. And like not only they jacked and they did arms day to, you know, make their biceps look big. They're wearing the V-neck shirt. But then they're like too comfortable putting people in headlocks and stuff. And they're like so thrilled. And they, I think they kind of want to get in a fight with some of the cool kids who picked on them before. I feel like the headlocks thing is movies.

Does anybody putting people in the headlocks for fun? No, I probably not, but I do see what you're saying, Hype. It's like the guy who like, he'll like grab you on the shoulder a little too hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, dude. You take steroids. Okay, I get it. That's the Rams now.

Sean McVeigh is this guy. The Rams under McVeigh have always been this finesse, uh, offensive line system of the Shanahan thing because it was like a, you know, not blocking people. It's blocking, it's going to a space. You're blocking an area. that's the Shanahan zone blocking thing. And then everyone started doing that with the Shanahan-McVeigh stuff. So then they switched.

And they're like, all right, we're going to be not instead of beating people to a space. It's just going to be beating people. They're going to be more like man-run blocking concepts. But you have to have the dudes to beat people to do that. And so the Rams went out and they're giving Jonah Jackson, the guard from the Lions, two years for $34 million. Kevin Dotson, who they traded for last year, basically gave them like a year for $13 million. But regardless, they went out and just got beefy dudes to be the center.

And the Rams are going to come out and play power football. And I really think that this is both kind of a joke, but I also really don't because so like you've been talking about this so much about how there's a shift from the Shanahan stuff, but zone blocking play action under center stuff. To now those guys, there's like a center of the defense void. You know, passing has been in for so long. Now almost power football is coming back.

But the Shanahan, the Niners, and then now the Rams and McVeigh are like beefing up the center of the field again. And now that we spaced everything out, I think that the same way basketball, we space stuff out three-pointers, and then Big Men's centers started winning MVP again. I think that McVeigh, they're going to, like, bring power back to the middle. They want to, like, you know, they're going to grab you a little too hard on the shoulder at the bar.

Yeah, and even then, like, I, like the Niners are still playing one of the lighter offensive lines in league, especially along the interior. Like this, I think really belongs to the Rams who are just trying to find ways to run the football between the tackles more effectively, more reliably. They also added tight end and Colby Parkinson, who's like, you know, quote, unquote, a blocking tight end. Kobe's known as a blocking tight end from DK's Seahawks because he doesn't really catch the ball.

I wouldn't watch Kobe's reps and be like, there's a blocker. But that's kind of his role is what he's typified for. They, right, they very clearly seem like a team that wants to continue to like be able to hand the ball off to Kyron and dominate in that way. I think it also helps them protect Stafford, right? The thing that we have to keep remembering about the Rams is that like, at this time 12 months ago, it was like, all right,

Matthew might retire medically and Sean might leave because of it. Like, they were so perilously close to like being. chalked. And then it was like, oh, nope, here we go. They're back in the playoffs, right? Stafford's great now. So a big thing for them is extending his career, right? It's just keeping him a save as possible. And interior production is going to be a huge part of that. Yeah, Sean McVee's going to get Jack this summer. He's going to be like the

guy. Sean McVeigh, I feel like he's already. He's kind of, yeah, he's beefy. Yeah, I definitely remember a piece of Sean McVeigh content that was like, look how many pushups he can do. It's kind of like, dude, there's no need. He kind of has the perfect push-up body because he's not that tall, so it doesn't have to go up and down super far. but he's also super strong. He's got a little bit of like,

I'm short so I have to be jacked to him. Right? We're like, you know, if you're going to be a short guy coaching NFL team, buddy, you better, better look like you're right. You could throw the bench press a little bit.

He does. What about, what about how tall is Mike McDaniel? I was going to say. Like my height. No one told him that part. He like went full like, I'm the professor and like you will admire my brain.

He's just, his whole thing is like, because McVeigh, it's like the other, everyone else is like, I don't let them know it's weird that I'm a coach. And Mike McDaniel's like,

part of my big theory on defensive coaches is that you have to be one of two things in order to be good older jacked those you only all good defense coaches are either super old or super jacked right and so you come interview with me a defense coordinator job and you're coming look like michael daniel no chance brother offense we can get that done offenses for nerds defense older jacks think of any defensive coach it works demico jacked bryan flair jacked bill bellichick old big fan joe old everybody oh what about jonathan ganon jacked but then he also but he was more jacked a couple of years ago, and then he started to, like, kind of like, more like cut and, like, have a physique. And that's when the defense got bad, dude. In 2020 and 2021, he was, I'm not kidding. You got to stay bulky.

He slimmed down from 21 to 22, and the Eagles defense got worse. It is flawless. I like that. Spag's old. Old. I mean, Clint Hurt was the Seahawks defense coordinator last year, and they were terrible. It's not. So I didn't say, if you are older Jack, you are a good DC.

It's all good D.Cs are one of two things, right? They're older Jack. It's not a thing. I see. Yeah. Aaron Glenn, D.C. of the Lions. Old and jacked. That's the problem.

They cancel each other out, and now it's not good. So one of the two, it's all you can be. Rick and Morty is like, tickets, please, guys, is ripped. Anyway. Does anyone else on this pod, let's watch Rick and Marty? So like, do you? I do. Thank God.

Dude. I'm not of Rick and it's going to say. Hyphins has quoted that more times than I can remember. And I'm pretty sure Craig and I don't watch it. So you guys, it's funny show. I've seen a couple episodes. I've seen Pickle Rick. You said that with like the disdain for the youth these days.

Well, it was just like I had to see pickle Rick. I know. Everybody's pickle. He's a pickle. That's funny. I don't know what that is. Yeah. It's this guy.

The guy becomes a pickle. It's unbelievable, D.K., it's cinema. The Philadelphia Eagles, I think, are hard to figure out. And I think the Eagles are one or two things. They're kind of like your friend who's just like the, like Arnold's like a Barney Stinson, just an absolute machine at the bar. Just doing their thing, you know, talking the bartender got it all going on. The Eagles are always winning the off season, always doing smart stuff.

and you're like, oh, there's Barney doing it again. Howie Roseman, unbelievable general manager. However, I wonder if actually I look at the Eagles, spending $50 million in Bryce off, who's a good pass rusher, but like an undrafted free agent from the Jets. And then I look at the Eagles, actually spending money at running back. And everyone's like, oh, there's the Eagles. Look at them. Let loose.

Having fun. Good old Howie. And I'm like, isn't this the Eagles team that lost the Super Bowl two seasons ago? And then last season had like, I don't know, the wildest collapse we've seen to his season, like the most epic collapse we've seen in quite, like by the end of the season, the Eagles were like, yeah, we didn't know what to do if they blitzed.

Like just they absolutely like tore apart at the seams. And I'm looking at Howie Roseman parting at the bar and they're having a good time. I'm like, is they actually just having an existential crisis? Like, is there actual emotional turmoil brewing beneath this like strange behavior where they're kind of like being all different at the bar?

Right. I think it's a little bit of like, like a little bit of like kind of tech bro morning routine. to it where like like Howie how are you doing he's like I'm doing great I wake up every day 5 a.m. I eat seven raw eggs and kale I go in the hot the ice tub for 20 minutes and the sauna for 20 minutes. Life is beautiful. Yeah, every day is a gift. I'm glad you have a routine that makes you feel good. I just want you know that like you might not be well like you might actually just be like doing this and surviving and at some point the massive crash is going to come and we can know that

from Howie because there's that one time with Chip Kelly where like Howie lost his job for a year and they put him in a broom closet and he brought him back out of a year later. Howie very much believes in the way that he does things, right? And so he's going to go full bore. Like one of the reasons why Howie always has these big offsies where he signs a ton of guys is because nobody moves off of bad contracts

and off of mistakes faster than the Eagles do, right? This whole like Joshua Hassan Redick trade thing right now. Those are two edge rushers on second contracts under 30 who have been productive. And Howie's like, yeah, but it might be getting bad. So we're out of here. We're moving on to the next guy, right? The Eagles just move so fast.

And so I agree. There's definitely some existential crisis going on. But if he just continues to, like, do his sun gazing and eat his supplements, then, like, he'll continue to feel like he's okay. And so you've got to kind of let him cook and do his blog and send out his email newsletter, you know, five ways that I'm conquering 2024. And you can watch some Wolf of Wall Street and be happy. You know that, you know the tweet that is like Ellen Musk or sorry, Elon Musk.

You guys, dude, okay. That's worse than all of mine. Absolutely not. calls him Ellen Musk. That was tough, D.K. That was tough. No, I have done it like seven times now. Heifis tries to say it's worse, but it's not. It's worse than me saying fiasco. That's worse

than Enoch. It's worse than Fiasco. Ellen is worse than Fiasco. It's not worse than Sonny. That's fine. D.K. acts like it's normal to say Ellen. You're the only person that doesn't know it's a Eon. Here's the difference, Hyphitz. I admit that it was wrong and I'm like, yeah, that was dumb. Every single time.

You try, you try and back like you're fucking saying it right. Like you try and gaslight all us into thinking you're wrong. Not anymore. I'm finding out live on the show. Hi Fetz. Literally I was the one who admitted it right when I said it. No, we've talked about this before then. Yes.

So anyways, you remember the tweet, Ellen Musk Yes. Slams Dick and Cardor. Musk fans. Masterful Gambit, sir. Yeah. Yeah. No, we, Eagle stands Worthy on Musk fans. 100%. Guaranteed. Anytime Howie does anything. I'm like Howie sees it, baby. Let him cook.

You're so right, because what I think we need to think about way more often is that Howie Roseman literally like gave Jalen Hertz the job after Carson Wentz and like got A.G. Brown. But that was plan B and plan A was to trade for Russell Wilson and sign Alan Robinson. And so they couldn't. So they got A.J. Brown. Masterful gambit, sir. I feel like anytime you have like a hot GM like the it rotates throughout the NFL like years.

It's like you got the new great GM. This is the best gym in the NFL. He's doing all the right things, all the edges. And even if they make like a totally stupid move, the go-to thing is like, well, oh, at least they moved off their mistake quickly. And you're like praising him for making a terrible. You can rationalize anything. Well, there's.

So I just think, right. Yeah. The thing like, I think there's a couple different ways to succeed as a general manager. And if you think about it like investment, right? You can kind of do your put the money in the savings account, make the 4.5 compound interest per year. And that's kind of like the Chris Ballard, just draft super well, right? It's just like, get good talent, get good, you know, good bargains,

keep your guys in the building and draft little, draft little, draft little, just like slow, incremental improvement over time. And then there's the day trading way, which is how Howie does it, which is like, just constantly like, oh, you know, somebody's too low on, on, on, on Sequin. We get Seiguan now. Like, oh, again, linebackers don't count. Shed the linebackers. You never do that. There's like a, there's a, it's still positive expected value over time, but there's much higher peaks, there's much lower valleys. And so that's why, as Eagles fans, it's masterful gambit, sir, because everything how he does might be,

when he took Jalen Hertz, I was like, this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. And then three years later, Jayhurt was playing in a Super Bowl as a starter. And I was like, how we go? Like every move he makes might be the best.

It also might be the worst. And so you just have to vote as everything is the best. It's not when they are the best, you were right. Who do you think does more ketamine, Howie Roseman or Ellen, or Ellen Musk? DK nervously shifts about talking about a billionaire.

Anyway, we'll move on. Next award. here. This is the leaving your friend with the grenade award, which is, you know, it's a night out, you're out, you're maybe wingmanning somebody, and you end up kind of talking to somebody who seems pretty great, and you're actually

thinking about heading home, and you look over, and your friend is kind of stuck with an absolute zero, and you're like, you know what, whatever, I'm just going to head home and have a good night. Leave him out here in the trenches, John. Taking grenades out here, John. That is Kirk Cousins being like, cool, Justin Jefferson, I will see you later.

Enjoy Sam Darnold. I'm going to head down to Atlanta. Klinger. We got to go now. I'm in the car. Come on. I'm going to head down, make $150 million in Atlanta with Drake London and Kyle Pitts and Bejanne Robinson. You have fun, though. You step on my head when I'm drowning. What a visual. Sam Darnold out here.

I was when we were planning this episode, and I was initially thinking of hangover quotes, I was remembering the, like, he's like a gremlin. He comes with a team. instructions, right? Like the Bradley Cooper line for Atlanta with Kirk Cousins, right? Kirk's been in the same offense for a decade and he's now playing for Zach Robinson, who worked under Shaw McVay, who built the offense.

They went and got Kirk and they're like, yeah, he's like a Gremlin. He comes with instructions. So do we think that this is now guarantee that they will draft a quarterback with 11 and or trade up? So the Vikings. Yes, Minnesota. I think the Vikings, so honestly, it is probably worth, I think that the Vikings signing Darnolds, I know I'm the only one here who's naive enough to believe in Sam Donald's

But I think the Vikings are going to go get a quarterback in the draft. I think McCarthy fell to the Vikings at 11, they take him. I think the only question is, will they have to trade up to do it? My take is yes. I don't know if anyone disagrees with that. We can walk through it. But I think the Vikings are going to trade up and get JJ McCarthy out of Michigan. I think that there's still multiple teams who want to trade up.

I think there's still a chance that one of the first three team, like pick two or pick three wants to be Jayji McCarthy. I think there's still like a lot that's occluded. But right now, if you maybe put my life savings on one team to trade up for one quarterback. It would be Vikings moving up for McCarthy. I was trying to come up with a good metaphor for Kirk Cousins because has there ever been a guy in the NFL who's been more successful and made more money and yet no one appreciated him on the teams he was actually on. You know what I mean? Like in Washington famously his GM called him Kurt, even though he was out there like winning

games and like, you know, passing for a bunch of yards. He's like failing upwards but not really failing. It's like no one who has him actually appreciates. him even though he's good and then he's making like these ridiculous amounts of money for every new place he goes. The other way around, he's making the money because no one appreciates him. It's because that's actually, it's actually a good explanation for agency overall. There's like Patrick Mahomes isn't going to be a free agent. Josh Allen will never be a free agent.

Like these guys, even Peyton Manning had to be like had a spinal injury to be free. Like if you're great at your job, they don't become free agents. The guys who become free agents are by definition. Good enough to leave. People who the team saw them come to work every day for five years. and was like, not for me. And like,

it's exclusively made up of everybody who's a free agent is a Kirk Cousins. Someone who at best is probably very good, but nobody who's great. Yeah, it's the,

it's the, it's the, so why are they single if they're so great? Yes, it's entirely, it's like almost, almost everyone is that.

Right. This guy's awesome. 35 years old, got a great job, super nice, funny, smart. You're like,

okay, well, then, why is he single? Okay, so why are you 40 and on the apps? You know, like,

what's going on here? everything seems great. Kirk is QB 9 in accuracy, QB 13 arm strength, is QB1 and getting to free agency. It is also a skill. Kirk Scott of the other guys don't. But on that note,

though, to merge these conversations, I want to be devil's advocate hearing the Kirk Cousin stuff. I don't even think, I don't even know if I disagree with what the general consensus is, which is that, yeah,

Kirk Cousins will obviously better than Desmond Ridder of the Falcons. They'll probably win the NFC south the next year or two. I think then I just, I don't know. I think it's a, honestly,

I think the Falcons are making a mistake because honest to God, I think Arthur Blank, the owner of the Falcons is 81 years old. I think so like I was blown away. I didn't realize what you said the other day about how the Falcons sneakily have a really long playoff trout. It's like the Jets have the longest one and I forget it was the second longest.

And then the Falcons have the third longest playoff drought in the NFL. Like that's crazy. And I think you're kidding yourself if you think that the Super Bowl at the Patriots doesn't still bother Arthur Blank. He's 81 years old. They're trying like you watch the Buccaneers when the NFC South this year, nine and eight or whatever. Like the Falcons would have won the division of the Netsman Ritter.

but I think the Falcons by starting Kirk Cousins, you're prioritizing winning the NFC South for the next year or two versus, and also there's risk to Kirk Cousins coming off in Achilles. I feel like I'd rather just draft J.J. McCarthy with the eighth pick, the eighth pick in the draft, because there's also risks J.J. McCarthy might suck.

But if J.G. McCarthy's good, you have a decade here. You have a decade of J.J. McCarthy, Bejohn Robinson, Kyle Pitts, Drake, London, solid offensive line. Like, that's setting you up for 10 years. And I feel like leaving that upside on the table, I'd rather just roll the dice even if the odds are lower because the upside's so much higher.

And I just, I don't know. It's, I think it's weird that the Falcon, like, we all just kind of accepted this. And I'm not even saying I disagree with the outcome. I just think that it's the wrong goal. I agree with you. I think that every team should spend more time thinking about organizational health three to five years down the road. Like that, I think that is a, that is a, that is a, all 32 teams would benefit from having that perspective.

When you haven't made the playoffs in so long and when you feel like Drake London is good and Bejton Robertson is good and Kyle Pitts is good, that's good. when you get like, all right, just you get a quarterback in here and go, right? Yeah. And the thing about Kirk is that it, Kirk, Kirk is different than adding Stafford to the ramps, right? He's different than adding manning to the, to the Broncos. Because in those moments, you thought, like, all right, like, this guy's good enough

that he can, he, he creates a Super Bowl ceiling for us just by his presence. Like, everything else will increase or decrease the percentages. But just because he's here, like, we are in that conversation. Also, you know, what the Broncos believe in they acquired Russ. And what the Jeff believe in they acquired Aaron Rogers. Like, you know, you can also be wrong when you make that read. no one when Kirk goes to Atlanta is like woo super bowl everybody knows like this is a floor raising proposition but in a really bad division NFC south sucks and in a conference where like it's a conference is very winnable right the the divisional round was Baker Mayfield against Jared golf and Brock Bertie against Jordan Love man like there is room in the NFC in the NFC there is actually still is like a decently high ceiling because of the level of competitions or for the moment like with how the NFC South and the NFC looks right now and with the young talent that they already have in the building. at receiver.

Like, I do understand why they leaned on the side of a known commodity. Even if, like, again, and we always brush over this, the Achilles makes that known commodity a lot less known than known commodities typically are.

He'll probably be fine. Don't worry about it. It's just an Achilles. What, you have two of them. Like, what's the issue? Yeah, whatever. Like kidneys, right? The other guy who tours Achilles

is going to be the vice president, so he's doing fine. Yeah. Clearly doesn't affect you that much. If so facto, Kirk's good. I'm really hoping that Rogers announces his VP candidacy while I'm still on this.

pod. If it happens when it's just you three, I will listen to the pod with the worst fomo. Come on the, come on the pod. I will coolade man crash it 15 minutes in. Well, speaking of, yeah, speaking of Washington, I would like to give the Washington commanders the free agency hangover ward of like when college kids crash the high school party and it's like, it's like someone's having a party in your house party, you invite everyone and but like, including some older kids and like, yeah, yeah, we know them. They come over. And then you come over and it's like, everyone's just invites some people they know. and then he show up and it's like, oh, like, the vibes are like so off.

It's like, oh, we're, we're going to invite Brian. Yeah, he's in college now, but he was so sick three years ago. Remember he, like, hooked up with Miss McCoy? That was awesome. And then Brian shows up and he's, like, has a kid now and he's balding. And you're like, ah, vibes aren't the same right now. I don't know. That is what Washington did.

They literally just hired, like, like Bobby Wagner, who no offense, D.K., like, worked with Dan Quinn, like, 12 years ago. It's just going to be a linebacker for Washington. No offense. It's like they just signed Austin Eckling. who worked with running backs coach Anthony Lynn. They, like, they just signed like five people that used to work for Dan Quinn at various places.

I feel like this is like when your teachers show up to a party or something. It's like, what? What's happening here? Marcus Marriota, Zach Ertz. This is illegal, isn't it? This is, you went out with your, with your four buddies you always go out with. And you were like, guys, we always go to like the same four bars. But they recently opened a bar like in the arts district.

It's super cool. It used to be like a warehouse. They've got like they, you know, like they, they, they source these sort of this from California. They sourced this from these breweries. Like they got this pumpkin, this orange thing is crazy. And Bill walks up and he's like,

you guys got Millers? And you're like, dude, like the whole point is that we came here to do something different and try new things. There are cool things. And Dan Quinn was like, you guys have Dante Fowler?

You guys have Bobby Wagner back there? Doran's Armstrong back there? Exclusively asking for things I know that I like. And he's also like, when you yell at him, he's like, well, I know I like it. Just try one thing, Dan.

Try one new thing. You end up in a conversation with Austin Eckler. Like, what are you up to know? He's like, So I got a podcast. I'm like, oh, my God. Yeah, man.

He's like, I love fantasy football. Dan Quinn's, shut up about your, kill me. So here's the pod idea is that we have three white dudes who talk about fantasy football. Oh my gosh. Who would do this? Well, you know what? You know what this is?

Actually, I realize what now what the NFL draft show is. I just figured out what we do. We are the cats in a wall for white podcasters. We're like, you're thinking three white podcasters stuck in a wall. What do you think? I'm thinking we add a fourth. What are we added in another one? Hello.

Boom. Fourth cat, Ben Selleck. Hello. Hello, fellow kids. I was like, dude, when we were... Ben, fourth cat, Solac. When we were in Indianapolis, we were walking out of...

This is right before, something that we've already talked about. We were walking out of the combine, like the Indianapolis Convention Center, and the big bus with the star goes by, which is Jerry Jones's bus. And I go, oh, hey, look, it's Jerry. And Austin, for the rest of the week,

just kept saying to me, oh, hey, look, it's Jerry. Oh, big gulps, huh? All right. Oh, look, it's Jerry. Well, see you later. Oh, look, Jerry. Oh, look.

Hey, look, it's Jerry. I also want to just give a Yankee swap award for the Cardinals and Falcons trading Desmond Ritter to Arizona and Arizona traded Rondell Moore in Atlanta, which I love that. Yeah. Yeah, I just love player for player. I'll give you him. You give me him.

Okay. Yeah, you're not really using that. The old days. I'm not really using this. Bring that back. You know? Cardinals also did send Jonah Williams

a tackle which I think just kind of like extra confirms Cardos are going to take more in here's in rest in peace

to Jonathan Gander Rondell Moore Pugh oh damn yep that was such an important that was the moment

and 14 second video for yeah by the way is Yankee swap does that term come from the

Yankee swap oh my God that's interesting wait are you really just having that realization yes

Of course I am. We're all just going to Google right now. It involved in New York Yankees. I thought it was Yankee Candle. Yankee Swap seems like an older term for some reason. And quite possibly it's like racist or something. It's not. Yeah.

Civil War. Oh, dude, the vibe was so much worse. Oh, no. Quite possibly very problematic. There was a swapping prisoner situation. It's not the same. You got to store the vibes immediately. Maybe?

No. I don't know. Swapping prisoners. Can we go back? to their Aaron Rogers, Vice President. We got to improve the vibes. Yeah,

improve the vibe. I can't believe that evolved to just, like, swapping gifts at Christmas. Everything's, everything's Genesis is weird. Nothing came from a regular place.

There's some weird terms out there. Yeah, a lot of bad terms. A lot of terms are going to change. Well, say, while we're on Yankee Stop, I do want to get also the 1973 Yankees swap award. I do want to just give the free agency word

out here for the Texans and Vikings just switching pass rushers. Like, DeNeill Hunter, went from the Vikings to Texans and the Texans, Jonathan Garnar, just went from the Texans to Vikings. And they're like, what do we just switch to everything? Did they bring the kids? Okay, so we got an email from Joe. Uh-huh, Joe. Who, I haven't fact-checked this, but he said he's read way too many baseball books. And he said, he said, I haven't fact-checked this or

you were saying you haven't fact-checked Joe. I have not fact-checked Joe. So we're just taking Joe's word for it here. So Joe said, he says, I don't have firsthand knowledge, but I've read way too many baseball books. The two families lived nearby and became very close. And the prevailing theory is that Fritz Peterson fell for Mike Kekich's wife, Suzanne, and it became mutual. They talked their respective partners into the swap, probably by saying, hey, we're going to leave each other anyway. So let's just keep it clean. And you guys swap and we'll just swap the children. Keep it clean. And they reluctantly went along with it. Of course, for the other couple, it went poorly. They broke up. But Fritz and Suzanne,

I think are still together. It really was a husband trade. It really is just the wives traded husbands, which honestly, I'm surprised doesn't happen more. Right. Who moved houses? Just the husbands,

yeah? So it sucks because it's less swingersy. It's less salacious. It's just like this was an affair and they forced their poor partners to give it a shot. Jesus. Were they teammates?

This makes it less funny. Yeah. And they were roommates. I got to pull up. Dude, people were built different back then, man. Bill diff. I don't know what we got. Pull you up.

Wait. 1973 New York Times. Two Yankees disclosed exchange. Don't put it in the newspaper that I got. Cucked. Okay. Please don't put it in the newspaper that I got cucked. Dude, it's like it literally this is the literal 1970s New York Times.

It wasn't a sex thing Peterson emphasized. It was not a cheap swap. I just love like like making your poor wife except the sober reality. Like, hey, look, we're going to leave anyway. So why don't you just go grab, uh, what's her names? husband, Suzanne's. Can I entice you with one of these?

See if you can make that work. Let's make lemonade out of lemons here. Come on. Oh, my God. And they gave it a shot. Like, I can't believe that Fritz's wife was like, all right. Sure. So on this note, we got an email.

Uh-oh. Another email. I don't even know if I want to keep this in the show. I'm just going to do it. It's always a good sign. It's one of those. I love for, Danny said that before he even brought up the topic. Redacted.

Redacted. Redacted. This is my first ever email because I thought it was too wild to not share. My parents were very close with another adult couple when I was growing up. We'd all go over their house once a week. Uh-oh. My brother and I would go upstairs. The music, the dramatic music starts.

He's like, is this a key party situation? My brother and I would go upstairs and play with their kids. We'd always get yelled at if we came downstairs. Uh-huh. When my parents finally divorced, the other couple all of the other couple, all the other also divorced a month later. And within a month, my mom was dating the guy from the other couple. And my dad was dating the woman, upside down smiley face.

Wow. Basically go up. My mom ended up leaving the guy after a few months. My dad is still married to the woman. It's been 20 years. Wow. And it wasn't until I listened to the last episode that I finally realized that my parents were just swinging and did exactly what the two Yankee players did.

Yeah, you're welcome. Wow. That's the first time we realized. Well, yeah, they definitely were swinging. unlike Fritz and Suzanne, who kind of weren't. They were kind of just having an affair and forced a swing. But this force them here seemed to be a bit more on the same page. Yeah, redacted literally said, thank you, High Fitz and the Ringer-Enfield Draft Show

for helping me piece together my generational trauma years later. Jeez. Yeah, and that's for free. You don't even need a therapist, all right? That's no problem. We got you. Don't worry about it. Wow.

First rule of swinging is to never catch feelings, you know? no I can't stress how little I know about the rules of training okay have you seen the movie the ice storm no no is that about swinging it is it's about a key party I learned what key parties were on this show because the Grinch the beginning of the Grinch movie starts with the Grinch was like born at a key party or something I do feel like it was more popular in the swinging

the swinging stuff was in the 70s and stuff when there was like this big move towards liberation and free love and all that. Do you know anyone right now? Like you don't have to name names, of course, that has tried swinging? You guys are probably too young.

Can you imagine if I was like, dozens? Tossons of us. I think at some point, we need the, like, a new Howard's zinnification of history is they're going to be like, they invented contraception

and then a human society unraveled. No, I don't know about anybody who participates in something like real. Like real swinging. No. DK is like, I'm gonna let them age another 10 years. Well,

it's, I feel like it is something that naturally you get into it as you get a little older. Yeah, you want to mix things up. When you're young, it's just called being on the apps or whatever. Have you guys heard about that there's like a sign that you can leave outside your house that means that you swing?

So it's like the hobo, like the hobos during the Depression? But there was a, there was a rumor in like parts of, what, of Manhattan Beach or whatever, Los Angeles that if you had like more, orange door.

Yeah. So there's pink flamingos are a sign that you swing, right? Oh, pink flamingo. But there's an idea here, which is an app for swingers. We need it. We need an app. I feel very strongly like there's an app. There's probably,

there's the exact sort of thing. Someone's probably thought of this. Yeah. I always thought it was there. I heard it was something to do with pineapples. I also have heard about pineapples. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, what about the pineapples? I don't know. If you're, if you're wearing a pineapple, like a shirt's got pineapple. on it is like assigned to people who are swingers that you are also down to swing

because you've got to communicate these things sneakily. It's impossibly inefficient. We got it. Google says it needs to be an upside down pineapple. Oh. Which is not, it's challenging to achieve because I can't stand on its leaves. Is that where we got pineapple upside down cake? Dude, we are like, we're like, don't know, cage and national treasure right now.

We are unraveling mysteries. It's not just a cake, it's a map. feel like we need some emails about real life swinging I'm going to steal the declaration of the email Greg wants to know what the kids are fucking on I want to know

how the olds are fucking How are they indicated Your Fantasy football at gmail.com About swinging my default will be I'm not going to read your name It is funny It is crazy that like in like old people homes That like they're all hooking up like

Oh that is a huge thing Craig Oh yeah ST SDD I guess they call them STIs now spread It's the most among like what is it like 16 to like 24 But then the next demographics like 70s to like 85. Yeah. So the retirement homes are just like...

So a little something to look forward to as we age. Yeah, there's some stuff happening. And wait. A little silver lining. Email us if you have any old people sex stories that are funny. Silver lining. Is that like a joke about their hair? Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Somebody should write a movie called like Silver Foxes and it's about just like people in old people homes. It's like spring break in an old person home. That's a funny idea. Dude, we should do that. We should cut that and you should

like to make that movie. There's something there. That's a thing, though. There's a lot of hooking up happening. Of course, one of the problems of this whole joyous story is that usually it means you've like lost a partner. Well, that was the saddest part about the Golden Bachelor and it's why I couldn't keep watching.

It's like every participant on the show, they usually were not divorcees. They were widows. It reminded me that one, remember the 2020 draft when they decided to announce everybody who had ever died in the person's life when they were drafted.

Yep. Like every player. That way, that way, we all felt good. It was like the same select Caesar Ruiz who is playing for like, you know, his entire family is not with us today.

It was like the first, second, third and fourth thing I learned about him. The trauma porn of the NFL draft is unbelievable. And they finally figured it out. But yeah, for like most of the late 2010s,

it was like, how can we make this person's life seem as awful as possible? Yeah, it's like I ran a 4, 440, his father died in Hurricane Katrina and you're like, holy shit, wait, what? Jesus Christ.

Bullet point. Yeah. Bullet point. It's like the wedding singer. It's like, thanks. My grandparents, or my parents died when I was a kid. You want to talk about that too? Anyway.

All right. Yeah. Ebo's sort of your fancy football at gibo.com. We're going to put Pacino and DeNor the disgusting brothers into that old person since movie, obviously. Tough way for Pacino. Dude. Oh, because apparently read the award.

Yeah. I feel like being drunk was like the best excuse me. My I see Uppenheimer. What? What else do your ICL? Jim! Oh my God. All right.

Thank you, D.K., thank you, Craig. Thank you, Solek. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode. Thank you, Jack, for help on the scenes. Thank you, Dan Comer for the legend for the research help. Thank you, Lauren. Lord. Oh, Lauren.

Thank you, Weird Al. Speaking of Al. There was a weird out movie I never saw. Who played him? Daniel Radcliffe. That's the first and last time. I'll answer a movie question for Craig. I know this because Roku recommended that I watch it

every day for nine straight months. And the picture on the right side of the Roku TV did he watch it? No. And it was just Daniel Rackle of his weird alley English. Every time I would log on and then I would just click over to YouTube TV and start watching sports.

And then the next day, they were like, you know, you should watch the Weird Al movie. There was a stretch where the ringers podcast network would only run J.J. John J.G. J. Stremski's New York, New York trailer at the top of the pod. It was the peak. The network will never be better. I'm J.J. John J. Stremsky. People were like, turn that off. I've had it up. Now the ad that keeps running on shows, at least for me, is the Trojan condom ad. Let me tell you, when I'm listening to the press box, and it goes from Brian Curtis's just like, radio,

voice journalism. Oh, the overturned joke of the week. Let's talk about the New York Times. Transitioned into like, what sort of a condoms? It is the funniest thing ever. It's such a good transition. We got to get that out on our show.

I think we do. Yeah, I think we do. I think so. Great. What are the kids fucking honest? What do the people want, Craig? What are the old's fucking with? Fucking wit.

They need the Trojans. All right, goodbye everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fandle's offering. online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino LLC. Gambling problem? Call 1-800 gambler or visit fandul.com slash RG in Colorado, Iowa, Kentucky, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Tennessee, Vermont and Virginia.

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