The Ringer NFL Show - The Honeymoon Phase Players

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

LIVE SHOW in Washington, D.C., on Aug. 22. Click below for tickets! Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck are back to sort through a handful of fantasy players we’re in the honeymoon phase with and decide whether it's actually worth it to ignore their red flags (3:37). Finally, Craig recaps his wedding and honeymoon before the guys close with emails (43:28). Tickets: https://www.unionstage.com/shows/the-ringer-fantasy-football-show-live D’Andre Swift, RB (5:05) Breece Hall, RB (11:06) Garrett Wilson, WR (14:12) Kadarius Toney, WR (18:16) Kenneth Walker, RB (21:30) George Pickens, WR (25:04) Anthony Richardson, QB (30:27) Elijah Moore, WR (35:43) Kyle Pitts, TE (38:06) Check out our 2023 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, this is Danny Hyphitz, and I have a special announcement. Please don't skip. It's very special. Before we get to the show, I wanted to tell you guys, we are going to be doing a live show in Washington, D.C. next month. That is a live show, Craig and D.K.are flying out and everything. It's going to be at Union Stage at the Wharf in Washington, D.C. on Tuesday, August 22nd. Now, here is the key. We are not promoting this on social media yet because we are letting you, person who is listening to this right now and did not skip.

You are going to get a 24-ish hour head start on everyone else to get your tickets. So you get that head start before we post on social media. We're letting real ones get their tickets first. So everyone listening right now, if you're in the D.C. area or if you're in Philly or Maryland or Virginia or Jersey, wherever, Connecticut. If you get the chance to get tickets first, yeah, it's kind of far. North Carolina. You guys, West Coast, have no idea of geography over here.

I don't understand. This is a huge bummer for people who live. live on the West Coast, but we're sorry. This is how it works. You can still fly there. It's cheap. You could. We have to tell them to get the tickets.

We don't have time for this. You guys can get tickets at unionstage.com. That's unionstage.com. We'll put it in the episode description, but it's not hard to spell. It's union stage. com. Scroll down on their calendar to August 22nd and you'll see the Ringer Fantasy Football show.

We're going to talk player who's going to take a bunch of people's questions. It's going to be great. So if you're in the DMV area and you're listening right now, I know it's during the congressional recess. There's no chance you have anything going on and work on August 22nd. No chance. You got nothing to do. You got to come to the show.

Unionstage.com. I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlebeck, who is back from his honeymoon. Woo! Woo! A married man. Thank you. Do I look Tanner? A little bit.

You still look half Irish. I'm not half Irish. Are you not? He's Italian. What are you talking about? I'm half Italian. And then like a mix. Horlbeck is like German or something.

Horlebeck is German. Yeah. But I'm mostly Italian, which is why I can get a little tan. Anyway, it's great to be, great to be back, kind of. I actually really enjoyed my honeymoon. I wish I wasn't back. But it's nice to see you two. Who were at my wedding.

Great to have you there. I hope you guys had fun. It was a blast. Congrats. I will say Craig was texting us on a Sunday. So you know he's kind of excited to get back to work. He missed us. He likes us.

Yeah, someone's got to keep the show on the road, you know. I mean, he invited us to his wedding, so I hope. All right, we're going to debrief on Craig's wedding, and we're going to debrief.

I want to hear about your honeymoon at the end of the show. We're actually going to see each other in person, though, at the live show that I already mentioned at the top, but I mentioned it again. In case you skipped, Unionstage.com, August 22nd, Tuesday, Washington, D.C. Get your tickets.

Unionstage. com. Scroll down to August 22nd. You'll see ring your fans. football show. Get your tickets. You got a head start. You're listening right now. Just go to the link in the description. It's way easier. Just click the link. It'll take you literally to the ticket page.

You don't have to like scroll for a date. To each their own, man. I don't know. I'm just some people just like to Google stuff, Craig. I guess so. Oh, we'll get to. We have that in the email section. Don't you worry. Okay. But we'll talk about Craig's wedding. We'll talk about his honeymoon at the end. But for today, we wanted to talk about the honeymoon phase. And why not turn your life into content at all times?

My wife does not really know we're doing this. My wife. I don't know if she'd be thrilled, but, you know, this is what you do when you work at the ringer. Yeah, and especially this show is not a direct correlation to your marriage, Craig. Because we're talking about the honeymoon phase where people ignore all the problems that are actually occurring in their relationship. Like all the real world shit, when you're in a honeymoon phase, according to like the term that people use honeymoon phase, it's like you don't have to worry about the real life bullshit. Like that hasn't said it yet.

You're just happy, ignorant of all the different problems you're going to have down the line. Some would say you ignore the red flags. Right. There's not about you and Liz. This is a general statement about the honeymoon phase, the term. Glad that's that's, that's the claim is in there. She's not going to listen to this anyway. That definitely not.

Clyde Edwards O'Lear a few years ago. We were in the honeymoon phase. We're like, oh, my God. Second rounder, should we put this guy in the first round? And then, look, and Clyde wasn't listening to the podcast either. Exactly. These are all the guys that are like, hey, if you don't really think about it, they seem great. Don't really think about it.

Don't think. Just click. Just pick this guy. Don't think just click. ignore the problems. That's perfect. DK, do you want to start us off with guys who are in the honeymoon phase on? Yeah, let's start off with DeAndre Swift, who as we've noted in the past.

Perfect. Perfect name for a running back. He's Swift. Former second round pick. There's a lot of hype that goes along with that. he was an early second round pick, almost a first runner, in fact. And so I think people have kind of clung to this idea that he's good.

And you know what? I actually think he might be good. He, according to some of the stats that you look at last year, he was particularly good as a pass catcher. Scott Barrett from Fantasy Points. By the way, Fantasy Points released this new stats package. It's incredible.

According to their tracking, according to their data, he was, DeAndre Swift was fourth among running backs and yards after contact per attempt. And he was fourth and missed tackles force per touch. So he was really good on the, ground and of course through the air. That's surprising that he's good after the tackle. I'm not surprised he causes mistackles,

but I'm surprised he's good after contact. Because I feel like he's kind of seen as like a softer guy, shifty or smaller, not a bruiser. So that's impressive that he can like take hits and keep moving. So do you think that the Lions knew that when they traded him for like a future fourth round pick during the draft? Look, I was getting to that. All right.

So number one again, I think DeAndre Swift is good. Like he has a good name. He has done well on the field. Like every time he touched the football. He's mentioned his name twice in the first minute. That's not a good sign. It's always a good sign that the name is the most important thing. No, but like honestly, when you watch him on film and stuff, he's actually pretty good.

Like he creates explosive plays. You know, he's especially good in space. I wouldn't say he's like between the tackles grinder or anything like that. But then that's why I'm making the conscious decision to ignore all the red flags. Number one, he is a pass catching back primarily. And he lands on a team whose quarterback relatively does not like to throw to running backs. In fact, he was the second. among 33 quarterbacks, he was 32nd in his passing percentage to running backs last year.

Yeah, well, why would Shailen Hertz check down when he could just run the ball and scramble? Exactly. And that's something that you see with like scrambling quarterbacks a lot of time. Instead of just like dumping the ball off, they just hold onto it and run themselves because it's just more efficient. Like why, you know, cut up the middleman essentially. And so he's going to a team that in theory is not going to pass to their running backs nearly as much as the Lions did. I mean, look at Goff. Gough has, Guff loves a dad. dump off. Gough is not running around. He's a freaking giraffe out there. And so that is a huge worry for me, you know, because that is kind of like where he,

where his bread is butter. That's where he makes his mark. And so if Swift is not a huge pass catcher, what is he? Like, is he going to be asked to run around the goal line? Like, he's, he's going to have the least like valuable touches, I think, in this offense, but in theory, because you got Rashad Penny, who's probably going to be their big bruiser around the goal line. Swift last year had a total of four rushes inside the five yard line last year. If you remember, obviously, Jamal Williams had something like 50 carries inside the five, something like that. 10,000, 200 touchdowns. And then of course, the other massive red flag that, you know, cannot be ignored is his team literally just traded him. They gave up on him. You know, that's like

rarely a good sign. Can we linger on the trade for a hot second? So this was very exciting for Deandjo's to go to the Eagles because the Eagles took. like seven players from Georgia and then they traded for another player from Georgia and it was a whole thing DeAndi Swift and the Eagles had the best offensive line and what a great offense and DeAnda Swift oh my God I want to just point out he was traded the Eagles swapped seventh round picks

with the Lions and then just call that a wash right who cares yeah they basically traded DeAndre Swift for a 2025 fourth round pick think about what has to happen which is like nothing yeah will you give us a fourth rounder nope all right fine give us a fourth rounder next year. Eagles are like, no.

20, 25. How often does that even happen? Are we allowed to trade these? They have to hate DeAndre Swift. They're like, thank God this guy's gone, which I do want to just throw out. I mean, yeah, it's important. It's a thing that matters probably. And it's something that you probably shouldn't just hand wave, you know, even though like I'm

definitely doing that when I pick DeAndre Swift. It's the honeymoon phase. It's all right. Yeah, his ex is crazy anyway. That Dan Campbell, what crazy guy? You're going to listen to his ex? They kind of are. The Lions might be crazy, by the way.

I think the hard part about DeAndre Swift is that everybody has, like, memories of Swift being incredible. Like, everybody can remember, like, the highlights they cut to on Red Zone of DeAndre Swift breaking, like, a screen pass for a 40-yard touchdown. And, like, I feel like everyone knows that if he's healthy and he's, like, in the right situation, he is actually, like, very good. But that almost never happens. He's either never healthy.

He's never in the right situation. And for some reason, teams don't ever want to feature him as, like, the sole guy in an offense. So it's like it ends up being like, what actually is he more than just like a flashy guy who can break a play and like make a couple guys miss every once in a while? And here's the thing. I think that so Dekin mentioned so they have also Rashad Penny in the backfield. They have Kenneth Gainwell in the backfield. Maybe Boston Scott will see. Here's the thing.

Jalen Hurts in the backfield. Yeah. 18 rushing touchdowns and 18 games last year. Jailnerds are the most rushing touchdown, including the playoffs. Jailenerts are the most rushing touchdowns in his season a quarterback's ever had. I know that's including the playoffs is cheating. And 18 games?

Yeah, because he missed the end of the regular season, but then they had three playoff games. So yeah, he had 18 touchdowns. Whoa. You're competing with that. Now, I will say if Rashad Penny was fully healthy, I would say Rashad Penny would be straight up better than Swift this year. The problem is Swift, not Swift, sorry.

Rashad Penny broke his leg in week five, but also had a high ankle sprain. I don't know Rashad Penny's healthy. There's a chance for Shah Penny actually starts the year on Injured Reserve, or at least like, I don't know, we'll see if he's healthy. That I do think opens the door. So I don't know, we got Swift in the 70s.

Maybe we could move him up. At the end of the day, he was the second round pick last year, like in fantasy. So there probably isn't a player that you're like, oh my God, yeah, bounce back. So yeah, just take him. Whatever, just take him.

Red flag, who cares? Just say, you got to ignore a lot of red flags if you're into Swift, which I am, by the way. He's like really good on Madden. That's like the type of player, D'Andrae, that's perfect. All right, well, speaking of running backs,

that whatever. It'll be fine. Dude, Breece Hall running back for the Jets. This is truly the, it'll be fine. Like you have to have a very glass half full, very optimistic.

Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry about any real world problems. When you look at Bruce Hall, how high he's being taken, just take him. It's going to be fine. It'll be fine. Don't worry about it.

That's how you got to be with Breece Hall. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. You know, we'll make it work. For different reasons, similar to DeAndre Swift solely and that both,

like really high second run picks. Like DeAndre Swift went 35th, Bruce Hall won 36. Like, basically the first round pick, right? Yeah. And then he came out and he was incredible as a rookie.

He was amazing. Like his last few games, he'd like 400 total yards his last three games. He'd like, his last game had four carries for like 72 yards. Every time he touched it,

it was like almost a touchdown. It was crazy. And then he like, tore his ACL or something. And like, who cares? It's fine because they got Aaron Rogers and you just take it top 25 player. Like who even thinks about

ACLs are like, you know, ankle sprains these days. It's just don't think about it. Let me just say this. Let me just say this. If he never tore his ACL, I think he would easily be a first round pick.

Do you agree? I kind of think he'd be exactly where he is now or like not far off, which is terrifying. I don't know. It's tough because he was like on track to be what, you know, top six, top five. Seven top eight running back before he got hurt.

It's tough because like overall position we have receivers in the first round. But here's the thing, though. The Jets reportedly wanted Jemir Gibbs, the running back from Alabama, at 15. And then the Lions took Jamir Gibbs before. Red flag. That's like you catch your fiancee like texting her ex-boyfriend and you're like, eh, it's all right.

It's fine. They're just- She was just checking in. Nothing happened. She liked his Instagram post, big deal. No, not in that. He was watching the story. They're like, oh, well, they put the story right there.

It's first. It's just the algorithm. And then you're like, well, the only reason the. algorithm puts it up there is because you click it a lot. Yeah, it's like when you click the other person's story and then you scroll through and then I didn't know I was going to watch theirs and then. I don't know, Craig. I'm kind of with you though.

Like I'm looking at our top 12 right now. It includes right now, Sequin Barclay and Jonathan Taylor. I think you could make the argument that if, if Reese had finished out the year as strong as he was going, that we'd be taking him over Berkeley in drafts. I agree. Aaron Rogers is on the team now. And Brie's all was going to be like a top seven back as a rookie? The hype would be out of control.

That's the thing, though. He did tear the ACL. Oh, yeah, right. But it'll be fine. I think that this is, Breez Hall, I think, is he's the wishcasting guy this year where it's like, but I want this to be true. I want this to be a thing.

So I will choose to ignore. Like, it's just great. It's honeymoon. Honeymoon prees-all. The Jets are going to be really good, right? Because Aaron Rogers. Yeah. It'll be fine.

Who are the other running backs on the Jets? They have Michael Carter. Zonovan Knight. Bam Knight, who showed he was pretty good last year. I don't know, man. Israel Abonaconda. Oh yeah, Izzy?

They drafted Izzy. While we're here, actually, I actually have the same thing with Garrett Wilson. It's the same thing with Garrett Wilson. Honestly, he inspired this in a way. Like, Garrett Wilson's the secretary at the office at Mad Men. And he just turns all of us into Don Draper. And he's looking great. Every time you walk into the office, he says something cute to you, and you're like, damn.

Should I throw it all away for Garrett Wilson? Risk it all. Let's risk it all. Go home to your wife. He's the perfect candidate for this. Garrett Wilson, I think, is the poster child for the honeymoon phase. I am ignoring all problems. And I watched Garrett Wilson last year.

And I was like, this man is like if Cadarius Tony was healthy all the time. And now he gets Aaron Rogers. Like, sky's the limit. I don't care about anything else. I don't care that there's a million other receivers there that Aaron Rogers usually only throws to his friends. I don't really care. I want Garrett Wilson. Here's my worry.

Aaron Rogers. That's it. Aaron Rogers. He, to me, he's like, Aaron Rogers is the club. classic quarterback who is like, he's probably going to give Alan Luzard more targets than Garrett Wilson, just because Garrett Wilson, like, didn't line up in the right spot or ran his route a yard too short. He's too chaotic. And that's really honestly, that's Garrett Wilson's deal. Like Garrett Wilson, it's funny, the Tony comparison is actually really good because they're both

a little bit chaotic as route runners. They just move differently, though. They have insane body control and they can kind of make up for it that way. But like precision, route discipline and route timing and route depth. Aaron Rogers, there's a, there's like a chance, a non-zero chance. Aaron Rogers, like, literally hates Garrett Wilson like two weeks into the season and just refuses to throw the football to him. Aaron Rogers doesn't get along with his family. Why would Garrett Wilson, like, why would Garrett Wilson be exempt from that possibility?

You know, you know when you have like a 13 year old golden retriever and then you're like, let's get a puppy. Oh, that is perfect. I have a, I have a one-year-old dog and I kind of hate that dog, but I love him, but I hate it. Garrett Wilson does move like a dog because the Gary, your Sky report, even when he came in lead, DK, was that Garrett Wilson would just win a game of tag. He doesn't have Tyreeal kill speed, but like a little puppy golden retriever, you can't get him. Yeah, and I think Aaron Rogers in this case is the old golden retriever. And for the first year, they might fucking hate each other and he might be super annoying.

But after a year, you know, he makes you feel younger and you end up being best friends. I think that, and I think the moral of the story, though, is like, Garrett Wilson, we all love Garrett Wilson as a player. The problem is Garrett Wilson's being drafted, like, as a top 15 player. If you look at best ball, like underdog, which is a good conduit for average draft position, Garrett Wilson's like the eighth receiver off the board. And I'm like, Garrett Wilson, there's a level of certainty to that, that like, how much higher can you go? We're basically assuming he's going to be great.

There's all kinds of ways Aaron Rogers on the Jets could go wrong. I'm not saying Garrett Wilson's bad. I love Rogers to the Jets. I think this team's going to be good. But here's the thing. The whole argument's like, oh my God, Garrett Wilson, 1,100 yards, offensive player or offensive rookie of the year. He did that with like Zach Wilson and Joe Flacko.

Now imagine Aaron Rogers. He could be like Devante Adams. Guess what? You could just take Devante Adams. He's right there. Just take him. What would you guys put the odds on Chris Olave having more yards and touchdowns than Garrett Wilson this year?

I think the problem is that like you can get Alave later. Right. That's what I'm saying. A little bit later. Like a round later probably. And I think Olave has a pretty strong chance of like outproducing Garrett Wilson this year. Yeah. When we do name brand off brand,

Olavet is going to be off-brain Garrett Wilson because he's just unsexy for some reason less popular Garrett Wilson. He's also probably right in the 1,200 yards, 7-8 touchdowns camp and nobody cares. To be clear, we all like Garrett Wilson. We think he's a very good player.

I'm worried about the relationship aspect that comes with everything that we've already learned about Aaron Rogers and relationships. He just, he's a finicky guy. Well, you know, for one thing, Aaron Rogers seems to be

great for the first year in his relationships. Things seem to go well year one. So maybe him and Garrett Wilson will start off strong and then they'll peter out. Cadarius Tony, I am deeply in the honeymoon phase on. You know what's funny? Cadarius Tony literally fits like every single player category that we're going to cover this entire off season.

He's like a post-hyped sleeper. He's a sleeper. He's overhyped. He's boom-bust. He's honeymoon phase. He's like literally everything. Let's just talk about him on every show. I hate both of you. so much. We're going to shoe hoard

him into literally every show. He is, though. He can fit into every conversation. And he fits in the honeymoon. Did you see or were you on your honeymoon when you saw, did you see Keneeris told people were in his DMs and he was like sending voice memos telling Giants fans to fuck off? Yeah, sure.

That's awesome. Love your truth. Let your truth. He's the Kevin Durant of football. He said he got hacked. What kind of fucking excuses on? It's your voice memo. It was like it was a video of him with his grills talking.

And I was like, How did you get hacked? That's you. I see you. It's a deep faith. Kevin Durant's online personality, but Kauai Leonard's playing time. That sounds great to me. I mean, the honeymoon phase stuff is like, all of the offseason narratives around him are just so glossy.

Brett Veach, the GM is like, no one's ever unlocked him vertically. The sky's the limit. Mahomes is like, he could be the best receiver in the league. And, you know, it actually all does make sense. if you don't really think about it too much. I mean, he was drafted to the Giants. It's like, oh, he's like a Tyreek Hill guy. And now he's on the Chiefs.

And the Chiefs just lost a bunch of receiving yards. Juju's gone. McCall Hardman's gone. That's like 1,200 yards that are gone. They replaced him with practically nobody. Other than Travis Kelsey, there's like really nobody. There's Skymoor and a bunch of rookies and kind of like random guys. And it's like, unless Cadarius Tony is,

is it just a complete disaster? Don't say unless. It's kind of hard for me to see him not being not being better than his ADP as long as he doesn't get hurt. It's too easy. It's like the Indiana Jones thing. It's like so I can just take this little idol off the lead.

I could just take it off the pedestal. Yeah, yeah. Oh, this first round pick that looks amazing when every plays just as with Mahomes now. Oh, sweet. I thought that was going to be way harder. Just don't think about it too much. I don't know.

What am I missing? Games. What are you missing? He's missing games. You know what I'm like Ed Helms? I'm like Ed Helms. I'm like Ed Helms in the hangover marrying Heather Graham. I'm just like, fuck it.

Let's get married. What could go wrong? You're hot. I'm hammered. I love that he, I love that he played five steps in the Super Bowl. I love that he had two weeks to prepare for one game and they're like, you know what you're going to do?

Five plays. And one of the touchdowns was he and Skybor lined up incorrectly. It's a metaphor. I love it. Don't think about it. It's going to be fine. I hope you two have sons. I hope you to have sons.

Articulate sons. I hope you have your first time. I love it. I love it. Articulous. So funny. Anyway, whatever.

Next player. All right. So this is a guy that I have been hyping up. And I feel very strongly is one of the best running backs in the NFL. Like talent-wise, he's incredible. He's, he was a rookie sensation. Kenneth Walker for the Seahawks, rushed for over a thousand yards, scored nine touchdowns. He was a big play machine. Just making guys miss reversing field, like making these big incredible plays out of nothing.

And therefore, I am choosing to ignore all these giant red flags that have emerged over the offseason, starting with the fact that the Seahawks took a running back in the second round who could end up taking some of the most valuable plays and fantasy from him in turn. of the passing game usage and the goal line usage, both of which Kenneth Walker was pretty terrible at last year. It was 6.3 target rate last year, which is 34th among running backs, 27 catches, which ranked 33rd,

zero touchdown catches. He was absolutely abysmal around the goal line. If you go back and watch, it wasn't really his fault on most of those plays. Like the offensive line just absolutely, like, leaking like a sieve on most of those plays, and there's only nine rushing attempts from inside the five-yard line. But he produced negative three yards in one touchdown.

on those nine attempts from inside the five. So he was abysmal. Nine carries for negative three yards at a touchdown. Yeah, it was not ideal. You know what, though? Here's what I'll say. It's awesome. I think tackles behind the line of scrimmage

should not be attributed to a running back's rushing totals. I think it should start once you get to the line of scrimmage. It is not their fault when T.J. Watt hits you five yards behind the line of scrimmage the second you touch the ball. Why should that be negative five yards for you? It's not fair. This is a good take. It's kind of like college.

rushing yards with sacks for quarterbacks, but it's the opposite. Right. Exactly. Just sacks are like, once you get to the line of scrimmage, then it's up to you to make people miss. But behind the line of scrimmage,

it's all offensive line. What if you're like trying to reverse field and you run 25 yards behind the line of scrimmage and get tackled? That counts. That counts. Sure. We can figure out of way. We could,

sure. We can work out of the details. We'll talk. We'll workshop it. But yeah, so basically, I'm relying on the fact and this is something that I do a lot in fantasy

and sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. I'm relying on the fact that Kenneth Walker is very, very good at football and he's explosive and he's extremely elusive and I love him. However, there's just a million there's a million red flags staring me in the face right now when it comes to Kenneth

Walker. I'm just like worried Zach Charbonnet's going to come in and take all the receiving and all the goal line work from him and you're just going to have like 23 or like, let's say, 17 rushes for 85 yards and that's gonna be like Kevin Walker's line.

What is the honeymoon for if not for ignoring red flags but I love this person. This is like when your girlfriend has like a work husband and they're like a little too close they're like going to get drinks after work and you're like,

I don't know how I feel about this actually. No one has work husbands anymore, Craig because we all work remotely. That's true. I like D.K., though, he's going back to his memento tattoo. Take players who are good at football. That's what I'm saying.

Sometimes it does not work. But in this case, I think it will. Kenneth Walker, you know who Kenneth Walker reminds me of in the movie Speed where he's like, oh, studies have shown that, you know, relationships don't really last if it's based on a, you know, traumatic, like, experience or whatever. And so they just got it based on sex. That's, I'm just basing my relationship with kind of Walker on sex. The sex is too good with Kenneth Walker.

You ignore everything else. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I have no transition off of that. My next player Do you feel the need for speed? Yeah. George Pickens.

Oh, speaking of the sex is too good. Yeah, man, George Pickens is like, there's a good chance that he might just be the guy in like warmups for basketball games who just like windmill dunks. And everyone's like, this guy is going to be insane. And then the game starts and he kind of just disappears and actually really isn't that good.

But man, you get him in warmups and he can jump out of the gym and two hand behind the back dunk. He could just be a sports center top 10 guy because, man, if you type in George Pickens' highlights from his rookie season, you would think this guy's a top 10 receiver in the NFL, which is what I believe currently. But if you kind of look into a little more...

Yeah. You know, if you actually try and think of the red flags, there's a couple. He's like probably the third or fourth option on a team with Kenny Pickett as their quarterback. You're going to throw like 18 times a game? Yeah, he caught three or more passes only five times last year.

three or more passes five times. That's brutal. Wait, three or more, not even more than three. Not more than three. Three or more in only five of his 17 games last year. And, you know, Dante Johnson is like, continues to be one of the most targeted receivers in the league. They have Pat Firing with there who's very good. They just added Alan Robinson.

Wait, do you think we can go the rest of the summer without talking about Alan Robinson? Do you think we could do it? I hope so. I hope so. No, I'll be bringing him up. We're going to be doing Alan Robbins an episode. But I'm just like Every deep ball they throw George Pickens

He catches And I'm like That's all I need to know He's just too good George Pickens is a top 10 receiver Is the perfect take for this whole exercise of Well it makes perfect sense if you don't think about it Yes

Like he is You know what Pickens is I think Pickens is either going to be A top 10 receiver Or one of the first real victims Of the post Odell Beckham pre-game catch warm-ups generation.

Like the same, like, like, O'Dell just started doing, like the Steph Curry pregame routine where he would do all these one-handed catches that, frankly, he should have been practicing catching with two hands

because he also led the league and drops every year, but I don't talk about it. Pickens just, Matt Harmon at reception, at a great breakdown of this where basically, they just had him run down the field every time. Yeah. They had them,

if you just combine, like, go routes, like just, you know, run straight and then, like corner routes where it's run straight and then go to the corner and just put those together. It was like almost, it was more than a third of his routes were just that on an offense where

that wasn't really what they were doing anyway. And it was he was just clear it out. He was like the decoy. And you're like, this is the best player I've seen in like, not counting Justin Jefferson Chase in like five years. Matt Harmon is the friend who's like trying to warn you about the girl. Yeah. It's just not right for you.

You've seen this TikTok where the guy's like calling his buddy and he's like, like so-and-so is no longer my girlfriend and the guy's like, hell yeah, she sucks, man. I'm so glad you broke up. He's like, no, no, no, we're engaged. Matt Harmon is this in my life with George Pickin. He's like, but he runs two routes and he's very inefficient. He basically can't run in breaking routes at all or at least has not shown the ability to yet.

Like, why are we hyping him up so much? I'm like, have you seen him catch? Have you seen him catch the football? His catches are the happy go more drives. And guess what? He won the Masters at the end of the movie. Or whatever tournament that was. If Pickens can start to learn to run just a slant, it's like, uh-oh, Pickens learn to putt.

I'm just like, we got to get, we got to mix up the routes here, man. We got to get some other stuff besides just go. Well, there's also a lot of talk about Mike Tomlin limiting the offensive play calling last year and really watering down the offense and oversimplifying it. And that now this year, Pickett has. progress. They're going to let offensive coordinator Matt Canada kind of like reach into his bag a little bit deeper here. And, you know,

the narrative is that the offense is going to look a bit more sophisticated this year. You know what Craig just said is like the middle thing of, you know those memes that the guy putting on the clown makeup? It's like people just, you know what I mean? And it's like, no, Matt Canada is going to reach deeper into his bag and you're like

putting on the cloud does. It's like me going to work every day knowing that an eight year old made $25 million on YouTube this year. It's Yeah, that is depressing. I don't care. George Pickens is so good. If George Pickens was a top 10 pick in the draft,

because I know that there was a lot of stuff that was why he was a bit later. If he was a top 10 pick in the draft, like his profile kind of suggested he would be, do you think we'd think of him differently? Yeah. He tore his ACL in college, and I genuinely think he would have been a one notch,

probably two notches below Jermar Chase level of receiver prospect. Right. And even if he had the year he had last year, which was 800 yards, four touchdowns, even if he had the exact same year last year, was a top 10 pick, I think we'd be more excited for him this year. He had 800 yards. Yeah.

If like you would have asked me to pick a number, it would have been like $350. I'm saying. Like the office wasn't good and he had $800. Like 800 yards is good for a rookie. That's really good. The Steelers put the bumpers up on the bowling lane for Kenny Pickett. And if they take them down, it'd be really cool. Speaking of which, I am debating whether I should go on honeymoon with this person or I should

be the Matt Harmon, like be the friend who just is like, Dude, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, Anthony Richardson, quarterback for the Colts. You're going to follow her all the way to Hawaii, man? I don't know. Dude, this is some real honeymoon shit, dude.

Just can't be a lockdown on this girl, man. Most athletic quarterback prospect of all time. This is crazy. Who needs Kirk Cousins? Who needs Gino Smith at his like 30 touchdown passes? And then he added the best receiver in the draft. Who needs that guy? You know what I want?

Anthony Richardson and that 53% completion percentage at Florida. Anthony Richardson, who's going to, run who basically needs to run for eight or 900 yards in his rookie season to be fantasy relevant even though he ran for like 600 at Florida total. You know what? That's it. This guy

if he can just simply do more in his rookie year, more than he ever did at college, ever. Well, they play fewer games in college. No, I'm talking per game, man. Oh, okay. All he needs to be is just Cam Newton. As long as he's just Cam

Newton, you're fine. Exactly. we have the next Tim Newton and everyone said Anthony Richardson was like Cam Newton and so if I just take that literally I'm going to take him

and he's going to be like a draft day steal because he's literally Cam Newton again and there's nothing that could go wrong with this DK right now with the top of it

how many yards did Anthony Richardson run for last season at Florida? 12 games. That's a good question. 350. I don't know.

No, 650. But in 19 games he ran for 1100. Yeah, I was trying to figure out how much you have to take out

the sacks, but yes. Exactly, yes, the sacks take away. I mean, 19 games in 1100. I mean, what is that? 17 games, that's like, you know, 900. Here's the thing. If you have seen him, like, he moves differently than everybody. He's so, and that was all confirmed in the comment, of course, but like, if you watched

him, just watching him, he's so fast, he's so smooth. He's so big. And he, like, makes guys just, like, bounce off of him. I don't even care. Like, Jesse Fields. We have him right down our rankings, one spot ahead of Aaron Rogers, who is the MVP of the NFL. two of the last three years. And I'm like, but this guy,

are we just going to completely ignore the established rules of fantasy football? Like Justin Fields was the QB6 last year and he sucked at passing. Like the Bears offense passed for like fewer yards and attempts or whatever like per game than like almost any other team in the last like 20 something 30 years. It was like going back to this is why we had the Navy watch every week. This is why no one can be the friend who talks about the partner. No one can bring it up. 100%. I mean, this is truly like your friend is dating a girl who is like the hottest.

person anyone's ever seen, but she truly sucks. And everyone's like, hey, man, I know she's hot, but like, she's terrible. And no one likes her. And he's like, yeah, man, but like, look at her. Jesus. I'll worry about it later. We'll worry about that later. We're going to cross-deference when we get to it.

You see how fast this guy is? He's big and fast. What are you not getting? They said he's like Cam Newton. People are like, they say she's like Emily Rodikowsky. They say she looks just like her. Like, dude, we do our fantasy rankings every year. And like, you know, we make ours. And then we like merge.

them and then we like check like okay who's higher or who and I think four years of doing this I don't think we've ever seen a bigger gap than when we first shared our list of DK and me on Anthony Richardson there was like a 46 spot gap I'm like where we're like 30 something

because I see I can see the light I see you I see his upside because like I have eyes also like by the way I just spent six months scouting the draft and so I'm obviously a little bit biased towards young players yeah

It is funny, though. It's the problem with fantasy in general. We have nothing to talk about with Aaron Rogers. He's been in the league for 20 years. Anthony Richardson is exciting. He's young. He's fast. We always want the next big thing, you know.

And Craig, you put it the exactly like the most succinct way of doing it is, oh, all he's got to do is be Cam Newton. There's one Cam Newton ever, right? Like, let's just be realistic here. Is he going to be Cam Newton? Like, there's a chance. It's possible. MVP of 19.

the league. Who notably also played in the SEC and didn't lose a game. Right. And he like made his team like a national. National champion. Legitimately the greatest college football player I've ever seen in my life. So there's slight differences, you know. But other than that, though, they're the exact same.

If you take, if you just don't think about the slight differences. If you take away all of the success, they're the same. Honeymoon, baby. Have you seen him run? It's like a gazelle out there. Andy's big. Okay. No, you guys don't get it.

He's big and fast. By the way, he might not even start all the games. Like, he might not even be the starter. I know that a lot of indications are he's going to be because that's what the team is telling us. But like, we don't know for sure. Dude, I can't wait for it to be like August 3rd and they're going to be like, Anthony Richardson,

struggling with playbook. Anthony Richardson struggling with accuracy. And you're going to be like, uh-oh. I'm going to say it right now. Richardson will just be Justin Fields again, where I think the first half of the season, he's going to be so bad that even the people held on to him are going to drop him.

And then like Fields last year, the second half he's going to straight up be like a top two player. But you're going to have to hold on him for like till freaking November. Okay, who else? Elijah Moore for the Browns is a guy who it feels like we're ignoring a lot of evidence that this guy just might not be it. If you go back to his rookie season in 2021 from week seven through week 13. So this is a specific stretch of time.

week seven through week 13 he was the overall wide receiver four he scored 15 points per game in half bvr he had like almost 500 yards receiving 35 catches he was making plays all over the field this guy is a gamer we love him um and that also makes you ignore the fact that basically all his other games as a pro he scored like four points a game in half bbr he's like done basically nothing there was stretched last year he was playing behind brachson barrios and then his team decided to just kick him to the curb for a low pick. Well, they didn't just decide to kick Elijah Moore to the curb. They had the opportunity to acquire Randall Cop.

Yeah. Literally, so if you look at all the other games in his rookie season, those five games, he averaged four points per game. If you look at the 16 games of his sophomore season, 4.3 half BPR points per game. this is like it's not a good sign like he's switching to a new team now he was traded for peanuts he's he's going to be playing with a quarterback and joshan watson who was truly atrocious last year and may never be the guy that he used to be early in his career and we're still excited about elisha more i am still excited about elizha more what am i doing you guys got to talk me out of this

he might not even start i mean they have marie cooper and donovan people's jones and this is the team that runs like mainly two wide receiver sets. Like I don't even know how much Elijah Moore is going to be on the field. For the record, Elijah Moore, we have back to back with Cadarist Tony in our rankings. That's perfect. Just want to throw that out there. Just the Giants and Jets both having these absurdly talented receivers that like had like very small stretches of capturing everyone's imagination.

But then like them lingering in the public imagination way longer than they deserve just feels like a whole metaphor for like everything New York ever. You know what's so funny is looking at all these guys we've talked about. I love all of them still. I know. That's what I'm saying. I'm still excited. about Elijah Mar besides.

Go home to your wife. But he had that stretch of like seven games dude. He was really good. We had that one trip to Cabo. It was, it was electric. It was magical. It's electric. Okay, wait. Can I want to do one more. Yeah. And I think, I don't feel this way

about this player. I'm not in the honeymoon phase with him, but I feel society is. You're the friend. I'm the friend in this. You just say it. I am. I'm the person that you're thinking of here. It's Danny Kelly. Kyle Pitts. Kyle Pitts, I think everyone is just every year going to go. It's going to be different this time. He's changed. Tell he's 29 until he's 20. By the way, he's like 22 years old. So we've got seven more years of this. Younger than Dalton Kincaid, who was drafted in the first round this year. Kyle Pitts had 28 catches last year for 350 yards.

He missed, he missed, and then he missed six games because he tore his MCL. Kyle Pitts has three touchdowns in 27 football games. Like I said, this man is coming off for Torn ACL. Desmond Ritter is now the quarterback. They just spent a first round pick on Bijon Robinson. Arthur Smith is still the head coach, run heavy Arthur Smith. And

the Falcons were essentially the Bears light last year in terms of how much they threw the ball and how effective they were at throwing the ball. So explain to me why the fuck Kyle Pitts is just going to be good again now. What's changed? Everyone's like, oh, Marriota missed him a lot and his target rate was high. And I'm like,

Like, all right, well, Desmond Ritter sucks too. Like, I just don't know what's changed. And now they have Bijan Robinson. So explain to me why Kyle Pitts is just going to go back to being generational all-time tight end guy. What's changed really? Kyle Pitts is Tesla. Basically, Tesla got like pumped up during the pandemic because everyone's like, oh, they're

changing battery technology. And that's why their valuation is whatever. Like, you know what I'm talking about? Like, we're not, we're not basing anything on what he's done. We're not basing anything on the number of fucking cars they're selling. It's all about the battery technology, you guys. That is Kyle Pitts. He's battery technology.

And like Kyle Pitts, like Tesla, Kyle Pitts was worth more than like the next seven tight ends put together in drafts. DK, you're so right. It's like every streaming service that tanks last year. It was like everybody was, the stock was so high because it was all projection. It was like, look what they could be doing in 2030. They could take over the world. Meanwhile, none of these companies were making any fucking money.

Kyle Pitts doesn't make you any money. Cool idea, though. Josh Norris pointed this out, I believe. I'm going to double check it. But even when Kyle Pitts had like its historical 1,000 yard season as a rookie, he had more than 10 points in half PPR, three games. Three games of more than 10 points in a fucking 1,000 yard season. This is like your friend who ended a toxic relationship,

but now it's like some times past and like he's texting her again. And you're like, oh my God, dude, like you cannot get back. And here's the thing. It all makes sense. It's like he's the perfect bounce back. He's so young. This is the exact kind of person you want to invest in, right? Like this post-hype sleeper.

It's like, I think all that makes sense. And like, again, they did throw the ball to Kyle Pitts a lot and just happened that Marcus Mariotta sucked. And Marcus Marriota has a nerve injury in his throwing arm that nobody, even the Netflix documentary did not talk about. This guy had a nerve injury in his arm. He's not accurate. But they didn't talk about it? Not really. I don't know.

And quarterback? But the MCL injury, I, until I see Kyle Pitts running and playing football without limitations and like actually in a preseason game and they're using him normally and he looks at the fine. I'm not, I'm not in. I need to see him be normal. When he had 1,000 yards, it was with Matt Ryan. It was not with Arthur Smith. Matt Ryan threw the ball 560 times that year when Kyle Pitts eeked his way to 1,000 yards. Last year, Marriota threw the ball 300 times. He threw it nearly half as much as Matt Ryan. Eeked his way to 1,000 yards. I just, I'm like, I get it.

man, I get that he's super talented. I don't deny it. If he was on the Chiefs, he'd probably have 2,000 yards. But he's not. Right. The theme of all these is these guys are all just fetched. They're things that we all want to be things. Elijah Moore, Kyle Pitts, Richardson, please.

Did he get targeted that much? He averaged 5.9 targets a game last year. He was targeted based on the amount that they were throwing. He was targeted, like, a pretty good amount, like, in their offense. And also deep, but also deep. Like, they were when he was on the field and he was running. routes, they threw the ball to him more than anyone else. And also they did throw like deep passes to him a lot.

It just Mario da fucking missed all the time. He had like the highest rate of like miss throws in his direction. He's like the Jerry Judy of 2021. But that was Kyle Pitts last year. I'm just like, all right, cool. So what I can bank on here drafting Kyle Pitts as the fourth or fifth tight end off the board is that he'll get around five to six targets per game with Desmond Ritter, who's pretty much never played quarterback in the NFL in his life yet.

And I just got to hope that those five targets go really well. I got to tell you, I actually think Taylor Heineke replacing Ritter after a month, I think that would actually be everything for Kyle Fitz. I feel like Heineke, like, he just threw the ball at McLaurin and was like, screw it. By the way, I just don't think they're going to throw it that much. Not for nothing, Craig. Not only do they not throw it very much. I guess this is sort of related to that, actually.

It's a part of it. But Kyle Pitts ranked 18th just below Daniel Bellinger in snap rate. He played on 72% of the freaking Falcon snap slash. That's because they run the ball so, God. do much and they probably don't need them in there half the time. Yeah, exactly. It's freaking drives me nuts. And now they have like a generational running back. I don't know, man. I don't know.

All right. You guys want to do some emails? No, talk about Craig's wedding. A little debrief or some emails. Yeah. Do you want to do first? Well, I mean, you guys hit it. I mean, I listened to your to your recap. It sounded like you had fun, made me feel good. Well, it was your wedding. Yeah. What do you want about? Craig, was your favorite moment of the wedding when we were all dancing in a circle, the Tom, Tom, cover? Actually, by the way, we realized it was pink's What was the name of the song? No, it was Lotto's Big Energy.

Which is sampling Tom Tom Club. They sample Tom Club. But when you guys said that on the pod, I was like, well, we didn't actually have like the DJ play Tom Tom Club. The DJ played great energy. I think the funniest part of the night, though, was, so we had a lot, we had a band and then there was an after party with the DJ. But during the band portion, the second to last song, I think,

or close to the last song, was Pink's Razor Glass, which is a song I don't particularly. love. And I remember the three of us just all dancing and me being like, I don't even like this song. And we were just like having a blast. Craig's like, he's like jump jumping with like like waving his fist like, you know, Arsidio and just saying, I don't even like this song. It was fun. It was a great weekend. I had a blast. Everything went off pretty much without a hitch. I was there from I was there for a while up at, in Ohio. I was there from Wednesday to Sunday. My friends. the wedding party was up for the whole weekend.

You guys came up Friday. It was awesome. I had a blast and the honeymoon was great too. I have no notes. I'm very lucky. No notes. High Fitz and I told it, by the way,

I want to brag a little bit. High Fitz and I were, I think, two of the last civilians and our significant others, were two of the last civilians to leave the wedding other than like the wedding parties.

Oh, okay, yeah. Other than the wedding party, I mean. Yeah. And we missed the final bus back into Ohio. Well, Craig was drunkenly extended the after party but forgot to extend the shuttles. So then we're like, it's not Craig's fault.

Whatever. First of all, first of all, my wife drunkenly extended the after party. We went to our wedding planner and asked, and we assumed that our wedding planner would coordinate the buses to stay a half hour longer. Apparently that did not happen.

So, Hyfitts, who had been in touch with the lone cab driver, apparently in Ohio. Oh, my God. His cab driver tried to shift. shake him down. You know what's funny about that?

I think, so obviously, in Ohio, for people who don't know, it's a smaller town inland of Santa Barbara, and there's like not a lot of Uber's. It's kind of hard to get. And there's this one main hotel, and then it's hard to leave that if you want to call an Uber. But there's apparently a taxi service. So we, like, put it on the walls of the bathroom.

We, like, had a number, and we had it in the emails. Like, if you need to, if you need to get home. Dude, on Thursday, we were at a brewery, me and the wedding party. We were at a brewery called Topa Topa. And it was like a mile and a half walk back, and it was really hot. And we didn't want.

want to walk back. So we were like, let's call a taxi service. I call this guy. And I think it's the exact same guy you talked to. And he was like, how many people? And I was like, ooh, that's like kind of a lot of people. And I was like, well, I mean, like, this is your job, isn't it? Like, I can pay you to take all those people. And he's like, I could be there in 40 minutes. Well, they're just a cab, though. It's one guy with a cab. It's not a company. It's one person. He's like, I mean, I guess I could like make trips, but like maybe we'd have to shove a couple people in the car and like not use seat. belt or something, but I could be there in like 40.

And I was like, we'll figure this guy. I hate this guy so much, dude. Dude, the guy was like, you know, it's like kind of late. And like, and so I called the number. And this guy drove us there to the place twice already. He's like, uh, if you Venmo me 60 bucks, I'll be there in like 40 minutes. It's like 1.30 in the morning. And I'm like, I don't, I don't think that's how that works.

I think you show up. And when you come, we pay you. He's like, no, I'm not going to start heading. your way until you pay me. And I'm like, by the way, what's 40 minutes away in Ohio? That's fucking, that's the ocean. That's Santa Barbara. He said like 40.

It takes like four minutes to get across. Oh, hi. If your friend texts you, I'll be there in like 40. When are they really getting there? This guy's never shout out. So I was so mad that we just paid a person who I'll not name an employee to take us home. Yeah. We're like, if we give you all the money in our wallets, will you drive us to our hotel?

And he was like, sure. We should have had that guy working the whole weekend. He could have made a ton of money. Dude, seriously. He was great, too. He was awesome. Shouts to the, that we shall keep him nameless. He isn't getting trouble with the hotel, though I doubt they'd care.

Yeah, he's not Voldemort. He just want to keep his job. Great guy. And thank God we didn't have to pay this cab driver or anything else because he was just trying to shake us down. It's extortion. How was Hawaii? Craig told us a little bit about his honeymoon yesterday.

And I was like five minutes. And I'm like, I'm just going to move to Maui. Yeah, that's all moved to Hawaii. Can we make this work? It's just kind of one of those places. And I've been a couple times when I was younger with my family. But as an adult alone, you know, you're just like, God, this is, this is so genuinely just fucking amazing. Like the ocean, as somebody who lives in L.A., like the ocean's not great here.

It's cold. It's like choppy. The sand is whatever. Salty. We're in Wilea. The sand is like as soft as powdered sugar. there's no rocks deep into the ocean. The water is crystal clear.

You can like see your feet all the way through. We went snorkeling at this crater. You can see like 40 feet down every fish. It's like you're swimming in an aquarium. The water's warm. The hollyocula or whatever? Molokini crater. Oh yeah, that's it.

I can't hear about Hawaii without wanting to go. Dude, it's the best. And I always think about East Coasters and how they have a different relationship with Hawaii than West Coasters because for us it's like five, six hour flight. But for people who live in like New York, I mean, it's the same as an LA person trying to get to, like, Paris, which is crazy. We met people from Ohio, and they were like, oh, yeah, it's a 10-hour flight.

We had to connect. It's like a whole thing. And I was like, wow, that actually is more travel than I really thought about. Yeah. Sad. Did you swim with the tortoises? We did see. I was probably five feet from a giant turtle in the water.

You want to know what's funny? I was talking to my dad about the honeymoon, and I was like, oh. My parents went to Hawaii for their honeymoon 35 years ago, and I always knew this story that my dad got a kidney stone. On his head is brutal. Stop it. He used to drink a ton of mineral water. My dad did.

He loved it. And then he got a kidney stone. And then he went to the doctor. And the doctor came up with this idea that all the mineral water he drank, the minerals clustered together to make like a little rock that he had to be out. But anyway, I was like, oh, dad, like, we went to this crater called Molokini Crater. And he's like, that's where I got my kidney stone. Oh, is that on the boat?

He was on the catamaran in the crater in the middle of the ocean and got a kidney stone. Is that like the worst place in the world to get a kidney stone? It's pretty tough. And everyone just like, wow, how beautiful. He's just writhing in pain. Not to mention you're like pissing blood, not great for sharks. I saw the Seinfeld episode where Kramer has a great for sharks. Dude, the Seinfeld episode where Kramer gets a kidney stone freaked me out so much when I was like eight or nine that I stopped drinking milk.

I stopped anything with calcium. Kidney stones are freaky. Oh my God. I've had multiple women who've given birth telling me that it was worse than giving birth, which I would never have believed that, but I've heard it from multiple. I'm not saying everyone, obviously,

please don't cancel me, but I've had two different women who give birth. Adidotally, that's what they say. It's a common thing that they've said. It's like a pain that's worse than childbirth, which, of course, I'm not going to claim that. I had the kidney stone, like it was like 11 years ago

I'm due for another one I guess but yeah it was brutal not a good feeling I can't imagine being out in the middle of ocean god yeah it was so bad I like almost puked like I had nausea just because the pain was like so strong how long did it last from like beginning to end the pain

it was like a couple of hours but I got heavy doses of drugs and then it was okay after that but yeah That's tough out on the catamaran. I can't even imagine. It's like your hours away from fucking shore. Great time though.

But that didn't happen to you, so that's good. You guys want to read some emails? Let's do it. All right. We got a couple pretty amazing misused phrases, follow-ups. Dalton. Dalton writes to say, similar to Danny Me,

the run train scenario. where I accidentally used the phrase run train with a professor not knowing it meant what it means. That's so good. Dalton says, I thought the term gang bang just meant getting jumped by a gang of people. I mean, it does it away. During a full football Sunday,

I was talking to my dad, quarterback got sacked by four people. I said, wow, that quarterback got absolutely gang banged. And then my dad night, we said a long, awkward silence.

You know what? I feel like it kind of still works a little bit. I mean, I guess it does. Also, it's pretty rare when you're, Your father has to correct their child about misusing like a modern term. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's no parent should have to do that for the kid. We got also, we got an email from Henry. Henry. In your mailbag episode last week. Oh, Craig, you listened. I guess you heard this, but you were reading the email about the guy whose stepbrother thought that ass to mouth was a common saying and he was wrong.

And now Henry writes, I interpreted, I did. also did not know what Ask the Mouth means. And I just thought it was like a real saying, but it was just inappropriate. So I wanted to find out what does this mean. So I Google it and I click on the first link that

I see. Unfortunately, that link that I clicked on was a popular adult video site that rhymes with Forn Hub. Okay. Now, normally this isn't like a disaster except I was on a bus.

Come on, man. The guy sitting next to me in a tone that is both disappointed and disgusted says, really, man, that's fucked up. He's watching porn him on the bus. And Henry says, I was so embarrassed. I got off the bus five stops early. That's the right move.

You shamefully walk home. Start a new life. Start a new life. Just walk right into wherever you go to change your name. Walk into one of those buildings, change your name. Move on. So I was like, I got a great one from Aiden too. Aden.

For some context, I work in a like an office in the Midwest in a pretty small town. It's like 7,000 people. And many of my older colleagues, you know, just, you know, they're older guys. And they used, you know, I know how older people use the phrase like, oh, yeah, like guy got his, you know, chew that guy's ass out or his ass got chewed out. Yeah. But they, you know, but they use the phrase get their ass ate out. Oh, Jesus. Oh, God.

What does this really toss my salad. Yeah. They're all throwing around. Like clap my cheeks. Just throwing it around. Can you imagine like a 60-year-old man unironically? Saying, yeah. I heard you got your ass ate out.

So does that, so that, they use it in the same context as like I got my ass chewed out. Yeah, you got yelled at. Yeah, you got yelled at. If you're listening right now and don't know, it's like your ass you got chewed out. It's like, oh, you got yelled at. But a lot of things have changed in the internet. Very different, very different, but slight change. Super different.

You know the grammatical thing where it's like, it's really important to put a comma in there. And it's like, let's eat, grandma versus let's eat grandma. Or your uncle comma, helping your uncle, comma, jack, comma off a horse. Your uncle Jack off the horse. Like the comma is important. And in this term, eight versus chewed is very different. Yeah. Just saying.

dude yeah all right fall ups on songs being ruined by commercials or whatever one richard points out fallout boys centuries being used so much in college football that they great call had to apologize

yeah four centuries they had to write an apology to their fans yeah they apologized for licensing the song I actually forgot that was fall up boy I just thought that was like the ESP

college football music. But the great one, this is from Trenton. Trenton. Angel by Sarah McLaughlin is a beautiful and haunting song about drug addiction. But almost everyone in North America associates it. Yeah, with the beaten dogs, thanks to the ASPCA going way too hard with it. I remember reading an interview with McLaughlin that said random people would ask her if she was just the sad dog lady. Yeah.

Poetry, courtesy of Sarah McLaughlin. I have never, there has never been a more like, There's never been something that the world has agreed upon as strongly as whenever that commercial comes on, turn that shit the hell off as fast as possible. And sometimes they buy, if you're in like a small town, they buy the whole lot. Keep going. I've never listened to the lyrics of that. That's about drug addiction.

I don't know the rest because I turn it off by then. It's like that frantically grabbed the remote. Just sad looking dogs. Very, very sad dogs. adopt on shop. Yeah. Dude, I adopted a cat, and by adopting cat, I mean, we plucked a cat off the street. You stole someone's cat, in other words.

No, it was not someone's cat. It was a cat. He had a collar on your cat. Someone else's cat now lives in your house. He had a collar on. His name was Sam, but we just kind of threw that in the trash. He lives in your house now. Well, he did something really embarrassing and he needed a new life.

He was watching porn on the bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the app that you want to do? What's the app? Cringe. Cringe. It's a dating app for people who need to swap lives.

This is something that happens with cats, though. Can we get people to write in about cats living in other people's houses? One of my best friends growing up. His cat just decided he liked the neighbors more and moved in with the neighbors. That was a fun cat.

That was the thing on like TikTok this week or whatever. That guy with the crazy, like his cat just like being in his yard and then they started getting the fight. And it was like, you're a cat pervert. I don't know that. What? It's because you were in Hawaii.

at a volcano crater and I was watching videos on the internet. Cats can just decide they don't want to live with you anymore and they'll go live with the neighbors and I think that's so annoying. Absurd.

Yeah. A dog would like rather die than be in a different room than you. Meanwhile, cats are like, I don't know if I like you that much. The deal's better over here. I'm going to stay over here. Cats would be good at fantasy football.

We're all dogs like, I'm going to die with Cadarius Tony. That's right. Cats would be like, you know who's cool? Dogs are always in the honeymoon face. They ignore every red flag and they stick with you. Is that where the term they got that dog in them comes from?

Excessively loyal. We don't talk enough about which dogs people have in them. Because people got different dogs in them. You know what I'm saying? Pickens has some dog in him. Do you see that picture of him getting drafted? Pickens has a Rottweiler in him. Yeah.

Pickens is the best. I love Pickens. We've come full circle. We're back in on Pickens. I never left. Top 10. We're going to leave right. If you don't think about it.

We're going to leave right now. Okay. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai. for producing this episode. Thank you to everyone who emailed us in. Thank you, Sarah McLaughlin. I'm sorry that your life's work. It's got to hijacked. Live show. Oh, my live show, Washington, D.C. Union Stage, August 22nd, Unionstage.com.

Unionstage.com. Go by taking Craig and me fly out to meet you. I know. This is bullshit. You don't have to leave. It's going to be like 100 degrees with 100% humidity in D.C. But the venue will have AC. AC. Yes. That's it. true. And drinks. At the very least, like, come watch us just flounder on stage.

Who knows how it'll go. Yeah. What could go wrong? See what we look like in person. You can see how tall we are. D.K., sneaky tall. As people very fond, people love,

there's nothing people love more than pointing out on Twitter or Instagram or whatever. It's like, holy shit, this is not what I expected you to look like. Well, no. What we're doing is comment. Thanks. Thank you.

That's great. We're doing the Tom Cruise movie where everyone who's going to work there, we're only having their shortest employees work that day. That's right. So that we just look really tall. All right. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren.

Thank you, Sarah McLaughlin. Thank you to Union Stage for having us at UnionStage.com. In the arms of an angel. Literally no one knows the next verse. Nope. Can you name another Sarah McLaughlin song? McLaughlin? What is it?

Sarah McLaughlin? We only mess up the Canadian artist. We just always piss off the Canadians because we always get their names wrong. Well, her name is Scottish or something, I think. Yeah, but she's Canadian. Right, but McClockland. That's a mouthful. She does, I will remember you.

She's really got that laying nailed down. Craig's like hitting the tremolo and everything. You know that song, though? Yes. Do you think that? Can you imagine a worst karaoke song than the... God, dude. That's actually really funny.

This is a great prompt. What's the worst karaoke song? Yeah, that's great. Give us back. Send us your worst karaoke songs. Email us or your fantasy football at gmail.com. If you can do worse than... Tequila.

Tequila doesn't count because tequila is funny. No, it's funny. No, it's not like, oh, bad. Like, you know what's a great karaoke? song that I actually liked. It's photograph by Nickelback. It's, it actually makes karaoke song. Crowd pleaser. But it's a bad, but. There was a guy that there was a guy at this, I used to go to spar Atlanta crossing in Seattle and they had karaoke night every Monday. And the same guy every week would sing a Pink Floyd

song and I'm blanking on the name of it right now. But there's like a three minute interlude in the middle of the song where he just like sits there. You know how like the karaoke machines are like musical interlude seven bars or whatever? It's like three full minutes of you just sitting on stage. That feels like something that like Will Farrell would have done. Seriously. Yeah. Was it the wall?

Was it another brick in the wall? That song? No, shit. I'm trying to let me look it up because now I'm upset that I can't remember it. Oh, comfortably numb. And I could be exaggerating the long, the length of the interlude. We felt that way. That's how it felt.

Yeah. It's a slow, like, slow building song. All right. Sounds of silence would be funny. That's a good one. That would almost be funny. It's not, it's not like, we don't want the funniest. It's like, yeah, like that would hit, even though it's like a weird vibe.

The angel by Sarah McClock, McLaughlin. I don't think it would be funny. People would leave the bar. People would leave the room. Just, just beeping. openly weep in the crowd. All right. Goodbye, everyone.