The Ringer NFL Show - The Hottest Fantasy Story Lines of 2023, as Told by ‘Wedding Crashers’

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck talk through the hottest fantasy football story lines heading into the 2023 season, as explained by quotes from the movie ‘Wedding Crashers’ (1:05). Check out our 2023 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens Producer: Kai Grady Audio intern: Jack Sanders Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Football is around the corner and we are ramping it up over here on the Ringer NFL feed in the month of August. Every week, Ben Solac and I will be bringing you not one but two extra point takens. That's right. Double the trouble as we predict, debate and analyze our way through camp and the preseason every Monday and Friday. But that is not all. Stephen Ruiz and I will be coming to you every Wednesday. We'll talk about everything in the world of the NFL. And who knows, maybe Stephen will even have something nice to say about your favorite squad. Though frankly, I wouldn't count on it.

Subscribe to The Ringer NFL show on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. And be sure to follow the Ringer NFL on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at Ringer NFL. Football show, my name is Danny Hyfitz, and I am joined by two sandbagg and sons of bitches Danny Kelly and Craig Horlebeck. Wedding season, baby. Today, we're going to do the 2023 fantasy football and or NFL season, as explained by wedding crashes. That's kind of it. That's the entire, that's the entire place. You want more serious analysis.

Fantasyfootball.3.com We've done this for years now. If you're a first time listener, this is our third year doing these. And we've done what? Pineapple Express. We've done Anchorman. We've done Happy Killmore. It's like one of our favorite things to do on the rewatchables.

Pineapple on the rewatchables, right. Oh, so we didn't do pineapple for this. We just did it on the rewatchables. Check that out if you want to hear the three of us on the rewatchables. But yeah, it's a little breather. It's just having some fun during the NFL off season here. So, yeah, we all just, you know, watch wedding quashers. I say quashers?

Oh my God. What are we doing right now? Just off the rails. Okay. We just watch wedding crashes and we're just going to go through and we're going to say quotes. I will bat first unless someone wants to. But, D.K., this is your favorite movie of all time. And if you would like to hit lead off here by all weeks.

No, I want you to go. And yeah, I would say like this is up there. This is on Mount Rushmore for my movies. I don't know why. I just think it's hilarious. And it goes back. It's almost like a nostalgic thing because it came out in 2005. And that was when I was 20.

So it was, you know, I was a young idiot back then. And the idea of wedding crashers and meeting women that way was just like the funniest thing you can imagine. So, you know, there's some things that maybe didn't like age the best in this movie, but still, very funny movie. Now that Craig and I are actually going to weddings, this is a completely different movie to watch. Right. I think there's three actors in this movie that deserve Oscar nominations straight up. I think this is some of the best acting in comedies. Vince Vaughn, Bradley Cooper and Ila Fisher all deserve Oscar nominations.

man, they're bringing it in this movie. More so than like, a lot of the movies like your pineapple express is, your anchor man. It's not really as, as nuanced. There's actually a lot of character in depth to these performances. And I think like, this is the best Cooper's ever been. Oh, yeah. He's so good. Sack Lodge.

Just hike the ball nut job. Greg, I wrote that one to just hike the ball, nut job. His subtle rivalry with that random guy is my favorite part of the movie. While we're on that scene, though, I will say that the person that I was thinking of watch it. So obviously the wedding crashes the football scene. And Bradley Cooper just keeps beating the shit out of Vince Vaughn and knocking his ass down. What time we turn around here on your ass again? I'm thinking about George Pickens blocking guys.

Oh, yes. George Pickens's like, I'm sorry, I have this damn competitive streak. I'm seeing a Buddhist about it. Not just eight Buddhist. The Dalai Lama. It's a good friend. Again, Jeremy, I'm sorry. I just, you know, I have this damn competitive streak.

I'm seeing a Buddhist about it. Not just any Buddhist, his holiness, the Dalai Lama. He's a good friend. Speaking of that exact scene, reminded me of another Steeler, it's when Owen Wilson says the quote that D.K. just laid out. What are you doing? It's a game of touch football. Every time I look over, you're on your ass.

That's me every time I draft Deontay Johnson and watch him play a football game. I'm like, I just went to the bathroom and I come back and you're on your ass again. But if I'd aired my lungs, I'd scream at you. So we independently came up with two different things. Steelers from that scene. I think he's on steroids. He's like trying to cover a fucking racehorse. I can't breathe.

I'm not selling it. Sack lunch. I'm not selling anything. Oh my God. This is off to a great start. So what do you think about the Steelers? Do you want to interweave actual football analysis in here? No.

We can try, I guess. Are you excited about Pickens, Craig? Are you excited about Deonté Chats? Everyone's excited about Pickens. My question is why. All right. I think anecdotally, George Pickens is the guy that now, because he does cool enough stuff, even in the preseason at training camp, that it goes viral, that now all your friends

are going to know about George Pickens and know that he's a sleeper. Whereas, like, in my anecdotally, in my own life, none of my friends who don't do football for media purposes or real life, they don't still vaguely know who Johan Dotson is. Whereas George Pickens is, like, already famous. Yeah. I think that every high. highlight that George Pickens pulls off that goes viral on Twitter,

just makes Deonté Johnson more and more valuable in drafts because he just keeps dropping lower and lower and people start thinking that Pickens is the guy who's actually the best receiver on the team. When in reality, even if it's not talent-wise, but from a role perspective, Deontes still the best pick on the Steelers' offense in fantasy. It's a good microcosm for that, Craig,

in their preseason week one game because Deontay Johnson caught three straight passes on the opening drive, and then George Pickens caught a slant and took it to the house for a touchdown. And of course, Pickens gets all the glory. And,

but meanwhile, like, Deontay Johnson, like, got them into position. And so, I mean, he had the sixth

the most targets in the NFL last year. He's a wingman. Deontes is the guy who does all the work. And then Pickens is the one scoring. Yeah, he's the one saying, why don't you go enjoy yourself why I ice my balls and spit up blood. That's Deontay Johnson to Georgia.

You're so selfish. Unbelievable. Try getting jacked off under the table. Then tell me about your problems. You're leaving me here in the trenches, John. Take him from AIDS. Oh, my God.

The lucky, Craig, along your Oscar light, like your Oscar take or whatever, there's so many good Vince Vaughn moments, but that one in particular where he's just like, yeah, we're going to go for a walk down by the beach. Like the look on Vince Vaughn's face is like, oh, are you?

He's just like never been more, never been more upset in his life than that moment after he gets shot in the ass with buckshot. I felt like Jody Foster and the accused. last night. Let's back up because I want to go back to the sort of the beginning or whatever when they go to the Cleary wedding. The Cleary's are this American institution, Secret Service,

consequences. So they're doing like their pregame thing, you know, and Vince Vaughn's character is trying to like convince them, like to do some crazy thing. And then Owen Wilson's like, It's the first quarter of the big game. You want to toss up a Hail Mary. I'd like to be pimps from Oakland or Cowboys from Arizona, but it's not Halloween. Grow up, Peter Pan. Don't chalk you. look, we've been to a million weddings, and guess what? Rocked them all.

To me, this is drafting Travis Kelsey in the first round. Like, don't get cute. The safe thing, we've been to a million weddings. You know what? Kelsey's rocked them all. He's just been here for years, every single year. He just rocks it. So anyways, by the way, that's a Bon Jovi line, if you didn't know that.

Oh, is that right? Yeah, back in that era, for whatever reason, I think there was a time after this movie came out where they did some, like, tour, some, like, comedy. tour where they were doing like stand-up, I think, or something like that, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. And they made it into like a documentary or something. A picking knit of that scene. And I think the one, the biggest picking knit throughout the movies is that they claim to be these veteran wedding crashers who like have these characters down Pat and these backstories.

And yet this is the biggest wedding of their wedding crashing careers. And they like are figuring out the story in the parking lot. So what are we? It's got the dossier. I'm like, yeah. Vince Vaughn hands Owen Wilson the dossier. Owen Wilson opens it up. And he's like, got it, got it.

So venture capital is, great, got it. I'm like, what? You're about to be, like, Secretary of the Treasury and you're like, don't have your story down? He screws up the second they sit down and they forgot Aunt Liz is dead. It's a great point, Craig. Anyways, yes. They're like Johnny Menzel, never read the playbook once. Come on.

Zero seconds on logged in. Zero seconds. To double down, I had a Kelsey quote for myself. It's a little different. It like half works. But when Owen Wilson's visiting Will Ferrell, Chaz, and it's like me drafting a 34-year-old Travis Kelsey. I'm like, I got to be honest.

Like I came in here. I'm looking around trying to get my bearings. Like I don't necessarily know. There's cartoons. Not a lot of other wide receivers on the team, but you still got it, man. Look at her. Like, you still got it, Chas. That's me.

And every time I draft an old player, I'm like, you still got it. Live in the dream. Honestly, Kelsey's. We're still doing all the old guys. It's like we're basically funeral crashing now. It's just like Derek Henry Kelsey. It's the best aphrodisiac death. Oh, Jesus.

This is what I've learned. Yeah, anyway, so to bring a full circle, we were on with Schroger this morning. Check that out, by the way, Peter Schroger, human being host on NFL Network. The season with Peter Schrager, his podcast. Yeah, Schroger's great. We love him. And I think the episode's coming out later this week, which Thursday or Friday will be on his show. So check that out.

Yeah. Anyways, he was asking, is it too early? to take Travis Kelsey in the first round. We're like, no, take him in the first round. Just do it. Grow up. Peter Pan, Count Chocula. Also, the thing, I didn't do it for this one because it's more of a last year thing,

but all I could think in that scene, they're debating what to be. And Vince Fawin's like, I don't want to be venture capitalist from Vermont. I want to be an emerging maple syrup empire from New Hampshire. And Olin's like, but we don't know anything about maple syrup. And Vince Fon's like, I know everything about maple syrup. And I was like, this is Matt Patricia being like, I don't want to do defense anymore. I want to do offense. And they're like,

we don't know anything about offense. He's like, I know everything there is to know about offense. I love maple syrup. I put it on my pancakes. Put it in my hair when I'm having a rough day. What do you think keeps up? Slick?

I will say, there is so, I had to watch this movie since I, now, I think I've been to 13 or 14 weddings now between now and the last time it's this movie. You have gone to an absurd amount of weddings. A lot.

And it was completely different to your watch. But there are a couple lines that happen. You know what actually killed me? I was, when Christopher Walken is, you know, he's the dad, he's like at the wedding in the beginning and like looking out on the pier at his son. And he's like, I can't do a walk in impersonation. I wish he could. But he's like, my son has all these advantages. His whole life ahead of him.

What's he so damn morose about? And I was like, it's like, it's like, it reminded me of what Jim Ursay said to Jonathan Taylor pulling up on the bus. And he's like, look, I could die tomorrow. league would move on. And then like, you know, it's one C. Morose about it. And then Jonathan Taylor's like, Jeff, there's my bitch lover. Oh my God. They forgot about that scene.

I want to say that scene is maybe just in the extended version or something. It's in the uncorked edition. Yeah. That's what I read. The regular one last night. It wasn't in that. That's freaking hilarious. From that same scene continuing with the GMs and their running backs,

when Vince Vaughn is making that kid the balloon. And the kid's like, make me a bicycle clown. That's how I feel like GM speak to their running backs. Here, take this, you hyena. Don't say thank you. I don't care. I just want a bicycle. All right?

Just get on the feet, okay? Make me a bicycle clown. God, I, to interject, I are you yelling at me. So we updated our rankings at fantasyfutball. com.

And I, as I'm doing my rankings, I just kept. staring at Jonathan Taylor. And I was thinking about where am I going to put this guy? And, you know, in theory, if he's fully healthy and everything, you know, maybe he's top 10, top 12 pick. But then I'm like, oh, man, Anthony Richardson's the quarterback.

It's like, are they going to move the ball? He's going to take carries. He's not going to check the ball down. And I'm like, all right. Now Anthony Richardson's going to start week one. Now he's got this ankle injury or it's not. It's his back. Oh, it's whether it is health, bad vibes with the team doesn't want to just like basically like do

400 touches without a contract, injuries, maybe it's all the above. And I'm like, the vibes are so bad that I, I ended up, we have dropped Jonathan Taylor now to 30th, which I actually think is perfect

because the people had like Patrick Holmes, Josh Allen, and I dropped him below that tier of quarterbacks, which I think we are the lowest of any platform anywhere. He's the RB 11 for, for reference. But we have him 30th. Ridiculously low.

Yes, but he's like a late second, early third rounder for us. We're saying that like if you're in a 10 team league, he might fall to the fourth round. And that sounds insane and maybe we'll be wrong. But the combination of him hating his employer or at least being, I just, the vibes are so atrocious that I'm kind of like, what's the upside here really? Like I'm going to pass on Patrick Mahomes to like have Jonathan Taylor.

The odds that that's a bad decision two weeks into the season feel really disproportionately high. Yeah. I'm trying to think of reasons that we get this completely wrong. The only reason I can think of is that he's really good at football. But he's injured. He hates the front office. He has a rookie quarterback who is going to steal a lot of goal line stuff. He's not a big pass catcher.

Or at least he hasn't been in so far. Well, there's also a thing if he aggravates this injury, he could shut himself down. You know, the team might, you know, there's a lot of things that could go wrong here aside from a normal situation. However, while we're on this, the cults, I will say. The other thing I was thinking of with Taylor was, when Vince Vaughn's on the beach talking to, I forget the...

Gloria. Yeah, they have sex for the first time. And he's taught, Vince Vaughn's talking about saving a guy from drowning. And he's like, I plunged into the water to save him. And at that moment, when a human sees another human in danger, there's this breaking of metaphysical awareness that we're all one. Separateness is an illusion. I'm one with everyone.

And I'm like, this is what Jim Orsay sounds like when he's talking about saving a freaking orca and paying $20 million to fly a whale. out to see orca we're all given that enough enough enough energy it's too absurd it's like what's the latest on that hyphen is are you are you staying up to date with that oh yeah so i mean this has been in in the works for months this is like a very complicated there not even financial situation it's like a geopolitical you know there's a lot of stuff going on but he he's it feels like the plot of ace ventura three yeah it does we're all one, your mom, Stevie Nix, my brother, we're all the same.

My cheek, your cheek. This is another extended version. Uncork. Yeah. Hyvich is going full uncorked. I don't mind it at all. I just don't say, I'm realizing now, like, the difference. Hifix wanted to see all the nude scenes, so he threw on the uncork.

There's actually quite a bit of boobage in the regular version, too, Craig. Well, it's just that first montage, right? Where they're, yeah, the girls in the bed. the greatest montage ever. I can't imagine you at 23. That must be the 13 year of life. Danny has a take. The best movie montage of all time.

Actually, I do think that movie montage is, or that montage is amazing just because there's times in that where you can tell they're literally drinking. Like, they're actually getting drunk at a wedding. Like Vince Fong,

Vince Vaughn is fucking stuffing his face full of food the whole time. I love how much he eats the whole movie. Owen Wilson's taking. shots. He's got like the glassy eyes. You know, he's like, foo, like, this is rough. I'm feeling it, you know. I love Vince Vaughn, like, stepping in between the married couple when they're about to eat

the cake and he's, like, shoving them, but they still kind of like him and he's, like, teaching them how to eat the cake. Yeah, Vince Vaughn is pulling the Brad Pitt, Notion's 11, like eating in every scene. Can I just say that Dalvin Cook and Zeke Elliott, who recently signed with the Jets and the Patriots, respectively, are

literally wedding crashes. They crashed from Andre Stevenson and Breece Hall's weddings. Purple Hearts too. We'll have to pay for a drink. Roster Crashers, yeah. Oh, 100%. That reminds me, hyphids, you mentioned the Purple Hearts thing.

So this is a random story. We can get to Zeke and Dalvin in a minute here. But when this movie came out, they had the wedding crashers had a website. There was a wedding crashers website. And they had a bunch of silly shit on it, including, like, you could,

if I remember correctly, like print off like purple hearts or something. It was like a stupid gag or whatever. And then the other thing they were offering was wedding security. It was like a link to a wedding security company. This is on the Wedding Crash's website. And randomly,

the picture on the wedding security company was me and my friends. What? It was a picture of me and three of my friends. What are you talking about? I have no idea where they got this photo. What? You have a photo?

Yeah. I still have the photo. Yeah. It was like Dude, what? Me and three of my friends went and we were like bouncers at like this club one night and we took a picture where we were like pretending to be tough

and they used this photo on the wedding crashers website and like my buddy sent it to me and he was like what the fuck are you guys doing on the wedding crash and this is an 05 when like it's not that easy to like circulate photos around the world I have no idea how they got that photo. Like I don't think I ever published it on the internet. It's still a mystery. also you and your buddies were bouncers and you were 23

just like one time yeah how did you have freelance bouncing yeah it was like one of our friends needed a couple needed help doing something like that night so we like went to this club and like wandered around it's like so stupid I kind of could listen to the story for like an hour I just thought of this last night I could

I had completely forgotten about it I don't know why I looked and see if there was a wedding crush's website anymore it's gone this reminds me of the guy who emailed us saying his grandpa was like, yeah, I invented the word dude. I forgot though till just now. Yeah, right. I haven't told anybody. All right. Anyone want to go? I got one. Yeah, go ahead. All right. When Vince Vaughn in the beginning is dancing with, he's dancing with this woman, and he's like, I feel so small in your arms. She's like, how tall are you? And he's like, six foot five, but I feel like I'm four feet in your arms. And I'm like, that's Bryce George is a combine.

Brian? Brian, Franks pretended to be 200 pounds? A lot of small joke availability in this movie, I feel like. Oh, yeah, like when Ila Fisher goes, where's my little friend? And he's like, he's tired, he's tired, he's tired. That was Deuce Vaughn, the first thing that came to my head.

Oh, my God, dude. That's Mike McCarthy. Where's my little friend? He's fun's like, he's tired, he's tired. Oh, shit. I don't even know how to respond to this. Like, what does that has nothing to do with fantasy football? I think this has gone off to rails more than any of our other pods for so reason.

I mean, look, at our core, men just quote movies. So it's hard for us to turn this into any real analytical content. Should I rattle off the two more I have that have nothing to do with fantasy? Should we get back to fantasy? No, yeah. Let's keep going on this runaway train here until it crashes. All right, while we're on nothing, dude. when Vince Vaughn sees the woman that he had slept with at the other wedding,

at the new wedding, and she comes up and she's like, Shloma, I thought you were renouncing all your possessions and moving to Nepal. And I was like, that's me. Every time I see Cliff Kingsbury coaching at USC this season watching Caleb Williams. I'm like,

Cliff, Kingsbury, I thought you were announcing positions bought a one-way ticket to Thailand. Oh, God. You know, I just watched the Johnny Manzeldock. I completely forgot that Cliff Kingsbury was his OC.

at A&M. He's like already a young Forrest Gump of the NFL. Five degrees of Kevin Bacon or whatever. He's everywhere. In the mid-aughts, dude, Kingsbury was everywhere. A third of the NFL quarterbacks are from Texas and Cliff Kingsbury has a personal relationship with every single one of them, basically.

Like, it's insane. So Kingsbury was an OC for Mansell. And then left Patrick Mahomes. And Tyler. Baker. Baker. Yeah. Kyle.

And Baker. Good guy. Oh, yeah. All these guys. I'm stealing a... I don't remember if I'm still in a take or maybe Stephen Reese. Someone basically was like

made the argument that Cliff isn't a great coach but he might be like the best quarterback evaluator alive but he just is so good at it and he gets a coaching job but he's not actually a coach he's just like the best

he's like the quarterback guru. All right I got another one here that kind of doesn't have anything to do with fantasy. Please we'll get back to it. You want to smoke? When Owen Wilson is spiraling after he you know kind of gets ostracized from the Cleary family

and he's kind of a loser now when he's like on his depression tour and he's speaking at one of the weddings. He's like, and this is how I imagine 28 year old free agent running backs. This is a little grim, I guess, but like Leonard Fordette and those stuff,

they're like, anyone ever feel like they're just disappearing. I feel so much, like giving up. Dude, Craig, I had that one too. And the best part of that scene is he's clearly at the singles table with like a bunch of other weirdos.

Like everybody at the table is just some misfit. Yeah, Wedding crashing alone is the saddest thing. Dude, the other guys at the table, that was just Kareem Hunt and Fournette being like, shit, I guess now we're just alone here. Do you ever feel like this? I feel so much. I'm giving up. Owen Wilson talking all the kids at the balloon animals and he's just like, love isn't real.

Love? That was one of mine hyphen. He's talking to the kids with the balloons. He's like, love doesn't exist. That's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love because I don't think friendship exists either. Love doesn't exist. that's what I'm trying to tell you guys

and I'm not picking on love because I don't think friendship exists. That is such a realistic emotion because I have so many friends who had gotten broken up with and like for a month after the breakup they're like guys listen I've been thinking about it a lot

like I just don't think love's real I don't and look that's okay I've accepted and moving on this is my version of me giving up and moving on from Kyle Pitts I'm still just in the depression I don't think love exists you guys I tried it

it didn't work like I I was full on in love with Kyle Pitts. And you know what? I don't think friendship exists either. Yeah, but this means, D.K., that when it'll come full circle and you will end up marrying Kyle Pitts, and you guys will live happily ever after. Yes. That is, that's my hope deep down in my heart. Yep.

I do think there is truth to that, though, where even if Kyle Pitts falls in drafts, I'm still kind of like, I don't think we could be friends. Like, there's too much history between us. Like, I kind of do think we should just go our separate ways. Because it kind of doesn't work either way. If I don't draft, I'm not going to draft Kyle Pitts, right? I'm just not doing it. And if he has a great season, I'm going to hate him even more. And if he has a terrible season, I will just continue to hate him.

So there's kind of no, there's no way out for Kyle, really. There's nothing he can do. I like Gabe Davis as a sleeper last year. I know a lot of people listening are groaning because Gabe Davis is bad. But my thing with Gabe Davis is he's like 40, 50 spots later than last year. And nothing's changed. Kyle Pitts, I'm like, he's also later than last year. But I'm kind of like, yeah, but like there's just too much history.

history. Yeah. Like we can't, I can't, I can't, I can't recover. Too much baggage at this point. Also, this movie taking place in D.C. We're recording this Tuesday afternoon. We will literally be Washington, D.C., a week from today, basically a week from right now, doing our live show in D.C., shout out everyone got tickets.

And all I can think about is like, like, Dan Snyder, like, it's like just, they're sprawled out on the Lincoln Memorial steps overlooking the Washington Monument. It's like, seven in the morning, watching the sunrise of champagne, and they're just like there. And they're like, there. you ever wonder for being a little sleazy? I don't want to say sleazy. Maybe irresponsible?

No, no, no, no. I never, no. A couple of young kids running around. He's like, we're not young. And then at the end, the cop kicks him out at the end? I looked at it up. Owen Wilson is 37 when this movie happened. That surprised me.

I looked at him, too. I thought he looks 45 in the movie, to be quite honest. He looked a little haggard. Too much, too much one in Christ. I'm tired. My feet hurt. How long do you guys think wedding season is for them every year? What is wedding season?

Is it like the good weather portion of the East Coast? Is it like fall? Summer. It's summer. I think it's summer into fall. Yeah, May to August, I would say. Classic summer. Yeah.

Made August. I thought the season was over. I was ready to kick back and relax a little, you know? I would actually say it's the NFL draft to Labor Day weekend is my take. But isn't the weather so good in the fall? It's too hot, right? For an August wedding on the East Coast, don't you want to wait September, November or November? Depends where you are.

Like my friends in the South and like Texas and stuff, you kind of just can't get married in Texas in July or August. You'll kill people. But, you know, if you like in the Northeast, it's beautiful. Yeah, exactly. Football season is about to kick off in Fendell's giving you the chance to win all season long because right now when you bet on a Super Bowl winner, you can get bonus bets every time they win in the regular season.

Just pick any team to win the Super Bowl and you'll get bonus bets for every victory. I mean, if you want a little discount on the Bengals, with Joe Burrow getting hurt. You can just bet on the Bengals. Bet on the Chiefs. Again, Jaguars, pretty weird pick to win the Super Bowl. Probably not going to happen.

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should we get back on the rails here and talk about a play? Anyone got one to get back on the rails? Were we ever on the rails? Yeah, I have something. So I want to talk about the chiefs. I want to talk about Cadarius Tony, who once again,

there's like 500 quotes that I thought pertained to Cadarious Tony. But one specifically here made me think of what Hyphid says about Cadarius Tony, which when Bradley Cooper's character drills Vince Fawn when they're playing football after the wedding on the lawn. And Bradley Cooper's like, I don't know what got into me. Sorry. Like I just can't control it. And Christopher Walkins like, nature versus nurture. Nature always wins.

Every time Cadarious Tony gets hurt, that's high fit stuff. He's like, nature always wins. It's so funny you say that, Craig. I had a Cadarist Tony quote to it. You know what I was thinking with Tony? Was when Owen Wilson's going through the gifts and he's guessing all the gifts are. and he's like, yeah, this is crystal stemware, which they'll never use because, you know,

it's crystal stemware. I'm like, that's Cadarious Tony. Looks great, but they'll never use it because it's Cadarius Tony. And the reason why I say that that's somewhat relevant is, you know, talking about the Kansas City receiving group, Justin Ross got hurt. And so now, you know, Sky Moore is probably the best guy to draft. I just kind of wanted to talk to you guys about,

I don't know, if we're underrating MVS, Marquez Valdez Gantling, who's just probably, I mean, easily the most experienced receiver on this team. Yeah, he's the forgotten one. He's, what, he had, six, seven hundred yards last year. DK hates five players in the NFL and Valdez, Gantling's actually one of them. Mac Hollins, Kyle Pitts, MDS, who else? I'm back in on Mac, baby. Did you see him?

He's super ripped. The biceps, the shirt? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, I don't actually hate him, but it just became a bit that every time MVS did something bad, I would, like, text Hyphitz and Craig and be like, this, fucking guy. Like,

so frustrated. I don't have him on any of my teams. I just, like, he aggravates me for some reason. But the reason I'm, like,

not too interested in him in fantasy is because I think he has a super high variance role in that offense. It's like, there's going to be games where he catches a deep pass for 60 yards on a touchdown.

And then there's going to be other games where he has, like, two targets and one catch for 18 yards. You know what I mean? And so I prefer Sky more because I think he's going to have a higher volume role as sort of the

slot receiver. And, you know, gadget play type guy in that offense. This is, again, assuming Cadarious Tony's probably not playing. And so, you know, and I think there's been a lot of talk this offseason about how he's made a huge jump in terms of his understanding of the offense. And he came in and the Chiefs don't typically play a lot, the rookies very much just because there's, I think, a lot to learn in that offense and getting on the same page of Patcha Pash and Palm. So, yeah, I think this is the year he could make a big breakout. But, you know, I'm still holding out hope for Cadarius.

Tony. I had a Tony quote, too. Of course, we all did. And my quote was when Jeremy is confessing to the father, to the priest in the scene where he's like, you know, take a while it's hot, take a lot, take a lot, take a lot, take a lot, get a little sacrament. He's just like pouring full glass. And he's like, let's put all the cards on the table here. She's fit for a street jacket. This brought's fuck three ways towards the weekend. You know, I want to what? I dig it. It turns me on. Yeah. And let's be honest. with each other here. Okay?

Let's put all the cards on the table. She's fit for a straight jacket. This brought us fuck three ways towards the weekend. And you want to know what? I dig it. It turns me on. Yeah. It turns me on because you want to know what the kicker is father?

Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy. That's right. Maybe Jeremy's a little nuts. That's so fucking good. It reminds me so much of Craig and I just like loving Tote. Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy. And you know what? I dig it.

Every time Gary's Tony gets hurt, I'm like, I dig it. She's fit for a straight jacket. Oh, God, that's so good. Hi, Vince. Legitimate question. If it's the day before the NFL season begins and you have your fantasy draft and every receiver on the Chiefs is healthy, who are you taking? So we have Tony 118th.

And I think that's about right because that's honestly about where I take him, which is I think my thing with Tony, well, I'll say Tony and then the Chiefs. Again, I don't disagree with you guys that like if you play, if you put every, I think a great way to measure agility burst, all these fancy words. if all these NFL players played tag who would win. It's like Tyree Kill, Cadarius Tony is like a top five player in the NFL at tag. Like he's just untouchable. Right.

I just also think he's actually approaching double digit injury designations in like three seasons. So the fact that he got hurt before the first practice started is unbelievable. But his spot at 108, well, I guess overall how I think about the chiefs is funny that we've mentioned Valdez Scantling. I think the chiefs remind me a great deal of the Aaron Rogers, Devante Adams, Packers, where how many years in a row did we talk about who's, who's, going to emerge behind Devante Adams. Geronimo Allison, Valdez Scantling was there. There were all these guys that were like,

who's got, guess what? The Chiefs are like the Packers. There's one alpha, mega, A receiver and Devante Adams, or Travis Kelsey, and there's seven guys who are a fourth receiver that have to all interchange. Like, there's no number two in Kansas City, in my opinion.

They're all four. Sky Moore's going to be a four his whole career. Cadar's Tony's going to be a four. Justin Ross will be a four. None of them are reliable enough. Now, I think once you get outside the top 120, we'll just throw in darts at that point. You might as well throw a dart that might be a bull's eye. And sure, maybe Cader's Tony's healthy.

Sky Moore, maybe locks down a slot roll. But like, here's where I come in. I think that it's an, you throw the dart for the upside, but it's probably not going to happen. You know why? Patrick Mahomes last year, we don't talk about this enough. Let the NFL in passing yards. 5,250 yards.

41 touchdowns. Let the NFL and passing touchdowns. Did you want anyone behind Kelsey? not really. Juju wasn't that, you know, Juju wasn't awesome in fantasy. Like,

like, Pat Holmes led the league in yards and touchdowns and you didn't even want anyone. So like, what are we even looking for? You say that, but then that makes me think like this isn't going to happen again. Like that was the,

that was the outlier. But that was four years in a row on the Packers. You know what I mean? I'm not saying it's the same offense for game. Most points for drive. It's Package Jihams. Most passing yards. There's 135 targets up in the air

with Juju and McColl gone. What if someone does get that? But here's my question. Based on what, the Chiefs have done with their roster after winning the Super Bowl, do you get the impression that Chiefs think they need a single person

to be reliable behind Kelsey or that they just need like six people that will be interchangeable based on the game? I mean, it's cocky of them to continue to not add to anybody. It's like Vince Vaughan and the football scene to Mahomes. They're like, hey, are you cool with like just throwing to a bunch of shitty receivers?

He's like, dude, I was first team I'll state. I'll put it wherever you want it. I'm making it right out here. I'm making rain out here. Dude, that's how Sky Moore scored the touchdown in the Super Bowl is. He was like, hot route. He's like, I don't even know what that means. I don't take it. Red seven, red seven.

Go over to the other side. Just bombs telling Tony where to go. Go over to the other side. But I agree with you, Hyphitz. I'm actually leading towards, I think none of these receivers are going to break out. And they're all just going to, you know, put up counting stats while Travis Kelsey goes off again. And you should only draft these guys for ceilings, never for floor. Because I'm not sure the floor of any of these guys is going to be reliable.

enough to start them in fantasy. You should just be drafting Cadarius Tony and Justin Ross for upside in the late round. Yeah, I think the main takeaway I want people to come away with is please don't have Cadarious Tony be the third receiver in your team. Like that something very wrong has happened. If you have come out of your draft,

if you already have like, you know, Cooper Cup and like Keenan Allen and, you know, I don't know, Debo or Brandon. Like if you have four or five good receivers and Catarist Tony's like your six guy, perfect. Because if he sucks or gets hurt, you can cut him. But your six receiver might be platinum status.

But like, that's it. That's all, it should be something you're comfortable, like, losing. But again, crystal stemware. While we're doing things, I wanted to just shout out that, I just, that same, the scene I was talking about earlier with Vince Vaughn and like the other woman from the wedding, you know, remember she comes up. This is another extended version scene. Hi, Vince, you are three for three.

Are you serious? This is so bad. Really? Scoop a diving? Yeah. Yeah. Someone else go then. Jesus.

Someone else is going to fuck with. It's so sad. You're going to just skip it. Go for it. Just say it. What I'm going to tell you to describe. Oh, whatever.

Fine. All right. It's funny. So it's like, I just was thinking about J.K. Dobbins, who can't read the room, as DK would say,

like ask you for a new contract and pretending he's hurt. And Ian Rappaport reporting that, yeah, this is the kind of injury that's only solved with a contract. It's like he's pretending he's hurt. And I was like, it's like the woman coming to Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson is Jake Dobbins agent. And he's like,

yeah. So like, he was in a scuba diving accident and he can't. That's like where he can't talk or whatever. He can't hear or talk. Salomo had a scuba diving accident. Yeah, he came up too fast and the oxygen deprivation. Poor guy.

He doesn't remember anyone, even me, his own brother. I'm just some nice guy who helps him out. He actually can't hear anything either. Oh, yeah, isn't he like doing like sign language? And he's like, yeah, I got to go take him to the bathroom, get him crab cakes. Yeah, that's Jake and Dobbins. I can't practice because I was hurt. I love Vince Vaughn's obsession with crab

What a movie? That's the Apex Mountain for crab cakes is this movie. Phenomenal crab cakes. They got some sprinkles on here. Even the first scene of the movie. The first scene of the movie when they're mediating the divorce and they're like, what did you guys have at the wedding for dinner? And they're like crab cakes.

And he's like, Crab cakes, you have a bad time having crab cakes. You know why? Because crab cakes are a wedding staple. And Craig, you're a better cook than I am. But I think it's because it's elevated because it's a seafood dish. But I think that they hold well enough that you can have them as past appetizers. And they're probably easy to prepare ahead of time.

and they also can be reheated. I think they're at every way. Yeah, they kind of check every box. Yeah, they can be bite-sized, they can be an entree. They can be cold. They can be hot. And they can be imitation without anyone knowing. Which I've never understood the entire industry of imitation crab.

I don't know why it exists. I don't understand why it was created. I don't get it. Why is that the only meat in the world that has a name called imitation that meat? I don't get it. There's a lot of needs that are imalists at ring your fantasy football at Gmail. You would never go to a restaurant and it says burger and then the meat. It says imitation cow.

Like, I don't get it. Why is crab the only one? But you could order like a Wonder Burger or whatever those things are. What are like the fake burgers called? I can't remember, but I have never. You're talking about like Impossible Meat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can order those at or like a veggie burger.

But that's like a business. No one's like vegan. I'm like, I'm going to get the imitation crab. Like that's not the point. Oh, that's true. What is it? What is imitation crab? Isn't it still meat?

What is it? It says imitation crab is made from serenis. It says it's fish flesh that has been deboned, then minced into a paste and mixed with other ingredients. It's like the dog food of like seafood. So it's a hot dog of crab. Yeah. I just don't understand how. And imitation crab's been around for a long time.

I just don't, I've never understood why that's the only meat that was like, what if we just called it, you know, Karnay Asada, but it's actually just a blend of bored. hooves and that's what we call imitation carnaceata. I never understood it. You're right at the very least we need to rebrand this if not get rid of it entirely. Just a weird thing. Paste. I don't want Jake Dobbins this year

anyway. That's what I'm trying to say. You know it's funny so they just like declared him 100% healthy I was just reading. It's a miracle. People helping people. What is it called? What is it? Happy shirts and pants? Holy shirts and pants. Holy shirts. You know, it's a little cheesy.

The reason he says it is because Vince Fawn's literally orgasming and like fucking go, holy shit. Also, once again, how do they not have their company names down? You know what I mean? Prepare. He even says I want to do this one right. Secret service. Consequence. The fucking Treasury Secretary.

Let me tell you, my taxes are not in order. But Dobbins is one of those guys that I never want. And then when I go up against him and you're like watching the Ravens. And every time they hand him the ball, there's like a wide open lane and he gets eight yards. And you're like, man, J.K. Domedman is like the king of 12 carries for 100 yards. And there is a small part of me that is like, if he falls in drafts by one round, I might take a chance on him. Because when he's right, he's one of the best running backs for fantasy in the league. So in fantasy, we have, again, fantasyfurtle.com.

I think we nailed our rankings. And I think this specific vibes wise, these rankings are capture things really well. we have Calvin Ridley 38th, Debo Samuel 39th, which I would have those guys first. Then we have back to back to back to back. Breeze Hall, Damien Pierce, J.K. Dobbins and Miles Sanders. I think that is perfect because it's like

Bruce Hall's the highest upside. Damien Pierce is like another exciting guy, but on a worst team. And then you have Dobbins, Miles Sanders. But it's like all four of those guys, I'm like one of them can make you look stupid for taking them. One of them could make you look stupid

for not taking them. And the other two are going to be pretty boring. And I don't know who's who. And I kind of don't know. I don't really feel bad if I don't get any of them. Out of Damien, Pierce, J.K. Dobbins, and Miles Sanders, if somebody told you one of these guys who's going to finish the year as a top 10 back, it's Dobbins, right?

Probably, yeah. Because he's going to score 10 touchdowns, right? This offense is actually going to be good. Unless Singletary got hurt and the Pierce just randomly became a three-down back. I think you're right. That's Dobbins and Breeze Hall. I don't know. I'm coming around to the idea of Dobbins, you know, if he's healthy.

And last year, he was banged up coming off the ACL surgery. but there's a lot of points to be had in Baltimore. And right now, no one's drafting anybody on that team other than obviously Lamar and Mark Andrews. But I don't think it's a chief situation where everybody else is kind of a zero. I think there is value to be to be had. Gus Edwards is like a free player. He can probably get up on waivers after your draft.

And Gus Edwards might be rotating in. Jacob Dobbins also might be playing more than ever. He is a year removed from the year removed from the injury. And again, it's an uncertain backfield and uncertain offense. said like, what if Lamar Jackson just throws the ball to Dobbins more and we're like, oh, shit, he can catch. So there's your answer. I love the holy shirts and pants scene.

It's so freaking good. When he's like trying to explain what their business is, Vince Vaughn's like shaking the table. There's like, like the silverware is just clattering everywhere. And he's like trying to concentrate on this. Or Owen Wilson's like trying to concentrate on telling the story. He's just like. It's terrific. It's terrific.

Dude. I love what he taught. I love what he says that. It feels terrific. Feels so good, man he's when he says that. Speaking of J.K. Dobbins, who's coming off of sensibly an injury, although maybe it's not a real injury. There's a scene. This isn't even a quote. It's just the scene when Vince Vaughn is tied up to a bed at night and Christopher Walken comes in.

This is after Gloria had come in and after Todd had come in. I don't want to play tummy sticks. I don't want to play tummy sticks. When Christopher Walkins talking to him, Vince Fawn is just like, get back. Get back in there. Best fast talker in the history of Hollywood, Vince Vaughn. Oh, my God. Yeah.

He could be an auctioneer. I can't believe he could rattle off a line. I don't want to play 206. I don't want to play 206. Anyway, so Christopher Walking comes into the room and he's like, he sees the rope restraints. He's like pulling on him. And he's like, he looks up. He sees the painting on the wall.

He doesn't really react. He starts talking about night tears. Change it all off. This is us just completely ignoring. injury risk with some of these running backs like Jvante Williams, J.K. Davids. They're like, eh. It's at Breast Hall. He tore his ACL.

That's fine. It'll be fine. I'm grabbing the brace around his knee. I'm kind of shaking and I'm like, eh. I know a thing or two about injuries. Night terrors. Yeah. Speaking of injuries, another injury rattled guy, Michael Thomas. I couldn't help think about him. When every time I draft him, I always wanted

to get on the damn field. And you know, once again, when they're playing football, they're playing touch football. And Vince Vaughn gets hurt. So Christopher Walken goes, hey, Todd, why don't you come on in? And Todd's like, you must be joking. He's like, it wouldn't kill you to play some competitive sports once in a while. He's like, would that make you love me? Jeremy, sit this play out.

Todd, come on in. You must be joking. Wouldn't kill you. We'd play some competitive sports once in a while, wouldn't it? Would that make you love me? Jesus. That's exactly how I feel about Michael Thomas. I'm like, hey, man, it wouldn't kill you.

I play some competitive sports every once in a while. Would that make you love me? Would that make you love me? Jesus. I love his. Oh, Jesus. And then it's just like a smash cut to a different scene. The music starts back out.

Jesus. My Michael Thomas quote, I had one too. You know how in every wedding they pick like an angle or like a trope that they're going to play? Like they're playing on what attracts women. And they go to one wedding and it's like, hey, so what angle are you going to play? here and Vince Fong goes, I'm going to go with the balloon animal display for the kids. And then when she comes close, check it out. Guess who's the broken man?

Haunted past. I just think it was like, this is us being excited about drafting Michael Thomas again. He's got this haunted past. He's mysterious. We can fix him. We can fix it. We can fix it. I literally wrote that.

I can fix him. I thought that was. I had that was Russell Wilson, nail it really in Sean Payton as the Broncos head. as the Broncos head coach and he's like, Russell Wilson's like, I'm going to post up by the balloon animals. Guess there's a broken man. I love how they say haunted past in unison. Like that's like they're,

that's one of the major themes they do. Haunted past. I got to say, I'm getting reeled in a little bit here. The fact that Michael Thomas being the asshole that he is played in preseason week one. Now I'm like, man, do I trap this guy? I don't care if he's 31 years old. He hasn't played in six years.

If Michael Thomas is on the field, I mean, he's going to be productive. To bring all these guys in, intern Jack asked us off air the other day. he was like, what is Giovante Williams basically a value because he's like 40 spots later than where Jake Dobbins was going

last year. And I was like, yeah, maybe like we have him 80th right now. I think we bumped him up a little, but overall it's like still kind of high to just have those problems. You know what I mean? At the end of the day, you're still dealing with this guy coming off this massive injury. And maybe there is, maybe he does win the job. But I, maybe

I'm dumb and it's totally possible. But I kind of just, as a rough kill billy, hillbilly. White trash. She's like, what? What does it even mean? White trash. Her name is chastity. Dude, but like Michael Thomas, we have him 114th. And that's the point

where it's like, I, maybe this is messed up to say, I can put my like fake tears on. If he gets hurt in the first two weeks, is that bad? Whatever. You always need to cut someone to get a player in the first three weeks of the season. Things change. Like, having players where you might immediately know where they're good or not is not the worst thing ever. It's like if Michael Thomas is your 13th round pick and you just cut him and like if he sucks or gets hurt again or he what if he's michael thomas like knowing immediately is better to me than having a hand cut like having tyler l g on your bench all year in case bison robins just maybe gets hurt eventually at some point like i kind of don't mind guys

where it's like you'll probably know within four weeks i totally agree i think basically once you get past rounds i don't know four five six you should just be completely drafting for upside because you're always going to be able to find guys on the waiver who can get you eight nine 10 points but you should be drafting guys like michael thomas because i mean what they're going around, like Michael Thomas, like you said, is going, we have them at one 14th. Yeah, Tyler Algiers around him, Kenneth Gainwell, Damien Harris. There's no world in which those guys have massive upside. Michael Thomas could still be a top 10 receiver in the league.

And that's why I kind of feel the same way about intern Jack's Giovante Williams. I think if he gets closer to the season and he's still healthy and starter, I'm going to move him up. We have him as our RB 31. If he's healthy and they say he's the starter week one, he's going to be much higher for me personally. The play in the preseason, which I, that's all right. 10 months later.

Like he'll have to be much higher for us. He can't be the RB 31 if he's playing in the preseason and not hurt anymore, right? I mean, he's got immediately be a top 20 back. I think, yeah. Unless you disagree. You could disagree. That's okay. No, I think 80th is about fair because it's like really, really low on him if he's healthy.

It just basically it's, you think 80th, even if he gets through the entire off season, he plays in the preseason, he looks good and he's healthy week one. You're keeping him at 80th? If he looks, no, I want to watch, I want to watch him play. If he looks like he looks like he is his juice back, that's interesting. Again, a part of what you're doing. with the injuries, like if you've been hurt, you know, it's like there's time, just because you're physically back, you're medically clear. First of, medically clear doesn't mean you're

practicing. Practicing, even when you're back. Chris, Sequin talked about this from the year, two years after his injury, Sequin talked about the year back. Chris Godwin's talking about the your back where it's like, just because you're backing on the field, doesn't mean that your body subconsciously or consciously trusts that leg. And so one, there's, you, again, at this level of elite athleticism, it's all. on the margins. And if your body subconsciously doesn't trust the leg or whatever, you lose the juice and then never mind consciously. And then on top of that risk of you, so the name right there is Chris Godwin after his ACL. Their name was Sequin Barclay. But they weren't themselves as we knew them.

And then on top of that, there's also a higher risk of all these other downstream injuries because of the actual process of recovery. That is why I'm kind of like, it's like, Giovante Williams, starting running back my God. But is he Giovante Williams? That's now, to your point, if he looks like fully back. Cool. But the thing with Seekwon, I was like, dude, preseason, freaking Wayne Galman in Sequin, you could get him confused because Seekone just didn't look like he had Jeebs in 2021. That was not a bad. The whole other wrinkle to this is do we trust Sean Payton? I feel like Peyton is another variable here that we're, it's like he's along the same lines of like an Arthur Smith or Kyle Shanahan where he's going to play favorites and

play the guys that he likes or the guys that he signed. You know, we made a, There's been a lot of outrage on Twitter after preseason week one because Adam Troutman, who I think the Broncos traded for, he ended up like running more routes and playing more snaps than Greg Dulcich. And so, you know, our assumption that Greg Dulcich is like their leading receiver at tight end is a little thin, if you will. So I don't know. Like there's this other variable that, you know, maybe Sean Payton is going to troll everybody

and just like play Smajap Ryan or whoever else they go. guy, you know, they have this guy, Joliel McLaughlin, who has apparently been really impressive in training camp and stuff. Like, maybe that guy, it's like some of the carries that we're expecting from Tramante Williams. Peyton's clearly trying to make a point. Like, he literally called out Nate Hackett and was like, yeah, he's clearly trying to, like, do a bunch of macho things and including, like, any kind of show of like no one earns Deptart stuff.

I think when a new coach comes in, I think betting on certain guys in the back of the depth chart to emerge is never, like, necessarily a bad idea if the new guy brought them in and the guys at first. Me looking at Sean Peyton is, is Christopher Wachin watching Vince Vaughn dancing with Gloria at the wedding. Just like, look, just, you know, he's

basically just looking at him like, this fucking guy, like, what's this fucking guy's deal? It's one of the other great nonverbal scenes of the movie is just Christopher Wacken just watching Vince Fawn dance. He's like, why did I have to go dance so well? Now I'm all over his radar. Damn it. Stupid. Well, then she asked him to

like, hey, can they come to the house? answer. They're like, can they come back with us? And he's like, no. And she's like stomping and like being like, no, I don't want to hear it. And like stops the whole wedding. And I was like, that was Aaron Rogers being like, I want Alan Lazzard and I want Randall Cobb to come back with us.

And they're like, I won't respond to this kind of behavior. It's like a kid at a toy star. It can't be around it. I had another quote for that when him to Randall Cobb and Alan Lazzard, he's like, don't ever leave me. And then he's like, good, because I'd find you. Stage 5 Clinger. We gotta leave Pronto.

Oh, man. Also, while we're the jets and various things, dude, Owen Wilson, as Zach Wilson and all the scenes where the mom's coming on to him is just too easy. It's like a layer. That's a good one. I didn't even think of that.

Kitty cat. I'm sorry, kitty cat. Yeah. Shouts out Jane Seymour. Pervert. So in the first scene, the first wedding or whatever, they're just, the wedding's just starting out. They're kind of like looking around the church to like find who they might want to try and hit on later or whatever.

And Jeremy, who is Vince Vaughn, finds one girl and he like points to her and Owen was like, don't waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper. And then Vince Vaughn goes, yeah, well, the proper girl in the hatch is I fucked the shit out of me. To me, this is when we talk ourselves into rookie tight ends again. Late round to rookie tight ends. They tend to be very proper. They tend to not play and they tend to not catch passes.

And we are now... Yeah, well, Sam LaPorte has just I fucked the shit out of me. What can I say? I'm a coxman. Anyways, yeah, we're talking ourselves into these rookie tight ends again. We've Don't Kincaid 153rd. I think that's super responsible of us. It's like your last pick, essentially, or one of them.

That's fine. I got to tell you, when the best man at one of the weddings gets up and is like... And he was like, you know, I thank God every day for a friend like Craig. I love you, man. I'm like, this is DK at 1 a.m. at Craig's wedding. That was literally my best man giving his best man speech. Can we say? Shout out Chris.

Chris's opening line was... Well, because Craig, if you don't want me to share it, oh, well, too late. But your brother was the officiant. So he was not your best man. So your best man starts out. I know a lot of you guys are surprised to see me up here today. and not next to Craig getting married to him. And that was...

Brought the house down. Incredible. Shuts out Chris Barlow. An all-time speech. Read old text from 2018 between Liz and I and pulled it off. Landed the plane. Dude, oh, that's always like the dicest.

If you're giving a speech and you're going to pull out old texts from the courtship, you better make sure that shit is on lock. Like, lock it up. You lock it up. Lock it up. All right. I got a couple others.

Yeah. Um, so the scene after Craig, you were talking about, I'd find you after that scene, they're like walking down the stairs. And Gloria is talking about how she sees, she has imaginary friends and she has hundreds and they all come from different backgrounds, speak different languages. And Vince Vaughn is just like, ugh, like, ugh. And he's like going down like the stairs. Just he's in absolute agony. He just hates life, just listening to her talk about her imaginary friends. Anyways, this reminded me of when Highfitz is talking about Jordan Love being like a big time sleeper this year.

And I'm just like, oh, God. It's just like when he starts talking about how it should be like fantasy points per first down. When he starts bitching about quarterbacks and the cheat codes and how they should change the rules for quarterbacks, I'm just like, oh, God, kill me. That's going down the stairs. and his name was Caleb. He spoke a magical language that only I could understand. Patato.

Vince Fonz. I didn't imagine a friend too. His name was Shiloh. And we played chess and God bless his heart. He always let me win. Sorry, how it's how it said to do it. Another one of the Chaz Will Ferrell scenes

when, you know, Owen Wilson learns that Chas is going to funerals to pick up women now. And that he got, He was with that beautiful girl in his house because that girl's boyfriend had just died in a hang gliding accident. Ah, I'm dead. It reminded me of how fantasy managers feel when they have a handcuff.

They have like Tyler Algier and then Bejon Robinson gets hurt. And they're like, yeah, dude, Bajon Robinson just got hurt. He's like, oh, look at me. I'm running a football. Oh, I'm dead. What an idiot. Dude died in a hang gliding accident. What an idiot.

I'm hang gliding, honey, take a good picture. I'm dead. What a freak. Oh, God. Will Ferrell, that's got to be one of the great all-time cameos in movie history. You want to talk about, I mean, the funny thing about this movie is it's a little, it's kind of long. It's a fat movie. I mean, there's a lot in it.

And like all of the, I wonder, I must have been in a really. I said to watch the extended version too. Yeah, which is like 10 minutes longer, but it's, there's like that whole Will Ferrell stuff. Like, that does not have to be in. the movie. It kind of has nothing to do with the movie. Did not need to be there in the movie, but hold up perfectly fine. Yeah. But I feel like he was just so funny that they had to keep it.

But there's like, I feel like 15 minutes of that entire like Will Ferrell funeral stuff. Like you don't really need, but it's hilarious. Yeah, they definitely just had, they were like, what if Will Ferrell crash funerals? And they're like, yeah, okay, we got to do that. Chaz Ryan. Oh, my God. Almost none chucked you. Craig, you said it's a fat.

It's a fat movie. I don't have a real thing for this, but they come out of the gates hot in this movie. Like Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in that mediation, the divorce mediation is some of the greatest, like, dialogue. Vince, you were talking about speaking like a million words a minute. Like Vince Fawn's like, it's a good time, you know what I mean? Rub it against each other. A couple of kids like to fuck trying to make it honest. I get it.

I just love that line so much. It's like, guys, the real enemy here is the institution of marriage. It's not realistic. It's crazy. God. He just comes out like throwing heaters. He's so right about

how fast Vince Vaughn talks. It's like he could just fit in at the Christmas Eve episode of the bear. It's like he's just absolute chaos, but you're like, I like this guy. Grind up on you, making me feel dangerous but also safe.

Don't you want to get inside Chastity without having to wonder if anyone's going to find out? Do you want to get inside chastity? Oh my God. It's like the, it's so, there's no like slow playing it.

This is like the best. beginning to any movie, I feel like, Dwight Yolkum is the guy. The first 25 minutes really rip. Yeah, dude, I didn't ever realize this. This is another lesson for watching with subtitles. I had never realized this before, but like Dwight Yocum and his wife are arguing. And he's like, right now she doesn't know where the kids are. And they're like talking over each other.

He's like, are they home? They're probably out of firehouse somewhere. He's like talking about how she's like, don't you talk about me as a mother? He's like, do you even know where our kids are right now? They're probably at a fire. You shut your mouth when you're talking to me. God, dude. Anyway.

Anyway, guys, this podcast was a gift, Todd. I'm keeping it. That's one of the best parts of the movie. I want my painting back. The painting was a gift, Todd. I'm giving it. I love that he likes it and he takes it with him. And then he's walking down the thing with the giant.

All right, this isn't like new, but all, could think about was Andrew Luck when he retired, and they were like, they were allowed to take his, like, he technically was supposed to give back his $30 million signing bonus. He's like, the signing bonus was a gift. I'm keeping the money. I'm keeping it. What a classic. They don't make movies like this anymore. Thank you, D.K., thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode. Thank you, intern Jack. Thank you to, thank you really to Vince Vaughn. I'm going to just mainly shout up Vince Vaughn, but thank you for the people made way to Crashers. Thank you to everyone

listening. Thank you, Lord. Lauren. Thank you. Otis Day and the Knights. Were they in the movie? Did they have a song in the movie? Shout? Is that by, I'm curious because I think there's several people that I've done this.

Are they the originals that did it? I always, I feel like the famous one is the Isley Brothers. Yeah. Yeah. Well, whoever did it first, shouts to them for shout. You know what? I think Otis Day and the Knights are in Animal House. Yeah, I was going to say, it might be them.

That's the original? I'm not 100% sure. Somebody tell us. I love that part of weddings. I think shout at a wedding is just, it hits every time. Oh, yeah. Can I make a confession about shout at your wedding, Craig? Yeah, you missed it.

You're in the bathroom. Very, no, very long story short, I ended up being forced to wear the suit to your wedding. I actually was a suit. I got to be a groomsman in another wedding that was three weeks later. But for long story short, I had to wear that suit to your wedding logistically. And so I was so terrified that I would split the suit at your wedding, like during shout that I just didn't. I just walked off the floor because I was like, I'm going to split this suit down the pants and not only humiliate myself at Craig's wedding, but then I will have nothing to wear at this other wedding. So you had to watch as we all got low on the floor and jumped up and you just were sitting on the side having a Budweiser?

Yes, exactly. All right, goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. Fandul is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino LLC. Gambling problem, call 1-800 gambler or visit fandle.com slash RG in Colorado, Iowa, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Tennessee, and Virginia. Call 1-800-next-Nextstep or text next step to 533442 in Arizona, 1-88-78-9-777, or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. it 1-8009 with it in Indiana, 1-800-5-22-4-700, or visit KSgamleyhelp.com in Kansas, 18777-7-7-0 stop in Louisiana, visit MD-Gamleyhelp.org in Maryland, visit 1-800-Gambler.net in

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