The Ringer NFL Show - The “It’s Overtime; Which Team Do You Trust?” Draft, Ringer Fantasy Punishments, and Erotic Hyena Facts

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

In this week’s Power Hour, the guys are drafting which teams in the NFL right now they trust the most to win a game in overtime. They then recap the week of matchups in the Ringer Fantasy Football League and answer a Fantasy Court case and a particularly interesting email about hyenas before closing the show. (00:00) Show start (3:46) Steelers sign Adam Thielen (9:25) Power Hour: Drafting teams we trust to win in overtime (14:26) Los Angeles Rams (16:31) Buffalo Bills (19:06) Kansas City Chiefs (22:24) Dallas Cowboys (25:05) Green Bay Packers (28:50) New England Patriots (32:17) Seattle Seahawks (34:53) Denver Broncos (37:13) Houston Texans (40:50) Chicago Bears (43:39) San Francisco 49ers (45:59) Detroit Lions (48:30) Baltimore Ravens (50:59) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (53:14) Philadelphia Eagles (1:02:06) Cincinnati Bengals (1:03:28) Indianapolis Colts (1:04:36) Los Angeles Chargers (1:10:35) Ringer Fantasy Football League update (1:13:39) Fantasy Court (1:23:00) Emails Check out our 2025 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! YT: Check out the 2025 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings: https://fantasyfootball.theringer.com/ Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. This episode is sponsored by Chime. Bank Smarter, Progress Further. This episode is brought to you by American Eagle. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producers: Kai Grady, Carlos Chiriboga, and Ronak Nair Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Haley and Craig Horlebeck. And today it is Power Hour. We're every Wednesday we power rank something. Except this week, we're actually going to draft something. We are going to go ahead and we're going to draft teams that we trust in the playoffs. Situation, we're going to pretend for a moment. It's the playoffs, call it wildcard weekend.

Game is tied, going to overtime. We're going to draft teams that we actually think will win a game in the playoffs in overtime. Both teams touch the ball, offense, defense, and teams that we trust. Before we even get into the scenario, it's funny that we're a fantasy football show and we don't actually draft anything on this show.

Our show is the draft show for half the year. All of the shows that the ringer that are about movies and TV draft way more than the shows about sports, which is pretty funny, especially ours. So maybe we'll start drafting more stuff. But this is, I don't know what we're calling this. Maybe it's the playoff puck or factor draft.

But the whole idea behind this is that this is not just one drive, which quarterback are you taking? We're factoring in that overtime rules, the defense and the offense are going to get a shot on the field. So you have to factor in you're going to get one possession from your defense and one possession from your offense at the very least. Which team do you just feel is going to win in that situation? So we're going to go through all that.

And also Spotify wrapped coming out soon or maybe by the time you're listening to this, spot-of-fit rap maybe is already out. And so one, if we're on that for you, like, thank you. That's amazing. And tag us. Send it to us. Yeah, please tag us. Set it us, tag us at Instagram, tag us wherever. Please tag. That's amazing. And we really, uh, genuinely just really appreciate it. That's incredible. You guys have basically infinite options to spend your time. And if we are on your app, we, uh, honestly from the bottom of our heart, like, thank you. That's just, it's, it's never gets old when people, when we're on your rap. So thank you for that. And so yeah, we're going to get into all that, but first we're going to take a quick break.

This episode is presented by Chime. Bank Smarter this season. Fantasy football is all about strategy. Well, here's a winning strategy for your money. Trade banking fees for fee-free banking, 1.5% cash back, getting paid when you say, and a higher APY on your savings. That's a lineup that wins. Stop banking the old way. Bank smarter through Chime. Chime is a financial technology. company, not a bank. Banking services and the secured CHIME visa credit card provided by the Bank NA or Stride Bank NA, members, FDIC, optional services and products may have fees or charges.

Details at chime.com slash fees info with a qualifying direct deposit earned 1.5% cashback on eligible secured CHIME visa credit card purchases. APY means annual percentage yield. Learn more at chime.com. Okay. We're going to get into the Pucker Factor draft, the teams you trust draft. I don't know what this is called, but first, we have to get into some very important news.

On Sunday, on Sunday's episode, we, one of us mentioned there was this post that was going viral that was really funny that after the Steelers got rocked by Buffalo, someone made the joke that it was so. I can read the tweet if you want. Oh, please, please. Yeah, this is from Seth Rorabaugh, shouts out Seth. He tweeted, after the Steelers lost to the bills, 26 to 7, he said, he said, he said, he's, said, Mike Tomlin is going to say something like, we can't eat soup with forks. We need spoons.

And then the Steelers are going to sign a 2018 pro bowler to the practice squad. Well, today, the Steelers signed wide receiver Adam Thielen, who was a 2018 pro bowler. So hats off to you, Seth. No way. The Steelers and Mike Tomlin are that predictable. That is actually insane. I think the Steelers fans booing renegade, their song is the most concerning thing that happened in the Maitamela era. This person making that joke and then it actually happening is probably the second most concerning thing. I'm more worried by this than them allowing like five rigid rushing yards to the Ravens in the final two games last year. I mean, Rogers is as pissed as he's ever been and he threw players into the bus and the presser after the game. Our very own Ben Solac,

a friend of the program broke down why the Steelers receivers are a mess. I mean, he wants guys who can like, like, when he makes it audible at the line and they like know what's going on and they're going to run the right route because there was basically like a guy, a guy ran a corner when he's So also ran a post and it could have been a touchdown and Rogers was pissed because he's throwing at Calvin Austin and Roman Wilson. Calvin Austin is dead to Rogers because he already, he had a game a few weeks ago where Calvin Austin messed up like two or three things. And then Calvin Alson ended up the drop this week. I genuinely, Rogers, I don't think he's going to throw to Calvin Austin more than five times the rest of the season. Adding Thielen is perfect because they have right now the students have. It's Adam. It's Adam. What did I say? You call Alan Thielen? No. No, you said adding Thielen. Oh, that's good. Sorry. No, but they right now they only have the.

hugest receivers and the smallest receivers. They need like a, they need to do the, right in the middle. Just like a regular size, regular speed white guy. They have the single most athletic receiver maybe in the league in D.K. Metcalf, the biggest alien. And then Ben Skoronic and Adam Thieland and guys who are like five nine. By the way.

The DK Metcalf trade, we kind of have to revisit right now. Like, the Steelers got rid of George Pickens, sent him to Dallas. Obviously, Pickens now still has more receiving yards than the entire Steelers receivers combined. Pickens wasn't going to do that in Pittsburgh We all know that. It's not crazy. Like sometimes trade can work for both sides. Pickens was better off in Dallas.

Steelers and Aaron Rogers. I don't think the detail-oriented nature of Rogers was going to work with Pickens. I get the fears. So they sign D.K. McCaffee. Because what did you say? So they signed D.K. McAfee.

Well, I'm going to say. So I want to start with you because you were in love with D.K. McAfee is one of your favorite Seahawks. And then they sent him to Pittsburgh and they sign him this big deal. And it doesn't make any sense. And then now Jackson Smith and Jeebba is crushing it. How do you feel?

out the Metcalf deal where they trade the pick for Metcalf and then they get a gives DK Metcalf like a 90 million guaranteed. Do you think we could trade DK. Metcalf to Dallas and then you guys trade us Jackson Spin and Jigba? No. Do you mean the Seahawks? Yeah. No. I think I still love DK Metcalf. You know, he was just like pure sex as a receiver, big, strong, extremely explosive fella. But I said this at the time when they signed him like detail oriented was not something that I would say or reliable was not something I would call. him. He's also not a get open immediately guy. Rogers, these guys sometimes get open in the field. Yeah, Aaron Rogers trying to get rid of the ball immediately. He's like checking to all

these different plays. You have to be on the same page with them. But that just never really felt like TK. Beckcaf's strong suit or like what would really fit with him. So yeah, I mean, I think everything that we thought has come true. By the way, Craig, we got to eat soup with a spoon quote. Yeah. Tomlin had a pretty close one to that today. What was it? So this is from Brooke Pryor. Tomlin says basically why have the answers to what they're looking for have been so elusive. And he says, those same ingredients have produced six wins as well as six losses. So it's about how we cook to it this week. Okay. He's the fucking rhythm. So this is what we were saying was like so fucking clairvoyant. Again, once again, it's it's that I can't believe

how often the phrase the tuxedos are starting to seem fucked up has been relevant to this show. Yeah. But it's it's kind of that same situation where it's like, all right. right. You know what? Those are starting to fall on deaf ears a little bit, Tomlin. Okay? This is what we were saying about sometimes, you know what, 20 years is enough. Yeah. And when your fan base is able to predict almost word for word and action for action what you'll do for eight hours later, you know what? This may be it's time for something. If we can predict everything he's going to say and everything that they're going to do,

maybe the other teams can predict their plays too, which is something that a lot of players have been saying is the case. Yeah. And like, look, it's, it's been a while. And that's the, I would say generally what Tomlin brings to the table you want in a franchise and in a head coach. Like you want consistency. You don't want him to get over his skis.

You don't want him to get outlandish and start saying stuff and get pissy. And you don't want the team to be too emotional. And after a bad loss, sometimes you need the coach to be like, it was one game. We'll be fine. Like, let's not freak out. But when it's been eight going on nine years since they've won a playoff game and they continue to not show up against good opponents and underperform constantly, then it starts to get a little stale. Like, initially, I think this is what you want in a coach. Like, if the Patriots

lose a game, Mike Brable would be doing what Mike Tomlin is doing right now. The only difference is it's been like 10 years since the Steelers have felt like they could win a fucking playoff game. I'm wondering if our punishment for trivia this year should be whoever comes at last has to eat soup with a fork. And they have to finish it. An entire bowl. Yes. They have to like eat soup with a fork. No like debris either.

Like you just have to sit there and eat like tomato soup with a fork until it's gone. D.K., how does it sound do you? You could dip your cassidia in it, maybe. No, no dipping. Ooh. That's a decent idea though. Casey in the tomato soup. It's like a grilled cheese.

Yeah, that does sound good actually. I might try that. It's pretty good. Okay. We're going to get now into this. We're going to do a draft. Again, you know, there's this new thing that got called drafts. And we've, uh, we're drafted.

So yeah, we're still going to do Tom Tom, though. But yeah, it's, again, it's, we're pretending for, it's a thought exercise. It's going to be two minutes on the literal draft clock. It actually makes more sense now to have Tom Tom. We should have done the draft time, but we weren't thinking ahead. So we're going to do Tom Tom. And again, I think that right now everyone's kind of like, which teams are good, whatever. And we just think it is very clarifying.

You be like, overtime, got to see both sides of the ball. How are you? Like who you actually. And again, there's records and stats and all this stuff matters. But it's about the feeling. It's about all that stuff condensed into it. Do you think they're going to win or do you think they're going to lose? Yeah, we're factoring all that stuff in,

but we want to stress that just because a team is 10 and 2 or 9 and 3, that means nothing. A team could be four and nine, and we think that if they were in the playoffs and they could win a game, we will draft them. This is truly, this can be any team is eligible. They don't necessarily have to be guaranteed that they will make the playoffs. Yeah.

So again, this is overtime. You're heading into the game. It's overtime and wild card weekend. We're going to draft teams that we're most confident will win the game. And the draft order, we're going to go to snake drafts. So we're going to, for draft order, we're going to do a trivia question here to break this. Should I add this to our trivia tally from Monday's show or no?

Yeah, why not? Okay. What's the score? Hyvitz is 15 is in first. I'm in second with 13. D.K. has nine. Man, I got fucking zero last time. Jeez.

Yeah. Just falling behind. Is this a chance for you get a little bonus point here? Okay. I want to be in double digits. That's all. I will let you guys pick the topic. There's one about a, there's a question here about the United States purchasing attractive land.

And there's also one about our, about a workplace platform. Workplace platform, it seems more funny. Yeah, it is. Okay. So our beloved United States purchasing a tract of land, scintillating stuff. Yeah, you're right. It's pretty boring now that I think about it. Fine.

We'll do this one from Mike. Mikey. Mikey. Mm-hmm. Sausage egg breakfast sandwich for breakfast. Mike says, Mike's true of the question is, he wrote in about our beloved workplace platform, JAMF. JAMF.

JANF. Yeah. Which sold for like $3 billion. What does JANF do again? I don't know. Anyway, so JAMF, we joked about it, and then three weeks after we joked about it, it literally sold for $2 billion or 10, I don't remember.

So Mike writes, how many people work in the human resources department for JANF? God damn. And HR for JANF? Did they really sell for $3 billion? I'll look up that. We can all know that. JAMF sale price. JAMP sold for $13 a share,

which evaluated it at $2.2 billion. Fucking Jampf. I don't know. Health organizations manage and secure Apple products at work. How many people work in HR at Spotify? I have no idea. I don't know either. Okay.

I feel like, Wait, did you just say what Jamp does? They help organize product. They help the companies give the employees technology. Is that it? I don't know. They help, give the computers. I just read it, I don't know.

Okay. That was how I interpreted it, but I... All right. I guess I have a number. Right. I don't know. Three, two, one. $1.

$1.40. I said six. What did you say? I said 11. I said 40. Wide range here. Craig's got the upper probably

I feel like the upper hand on this 54 damn Craig you are one off of high fits now yeah dude I'm on fucking hot streets pretty good okay so without further ado here Craig what pick you want here so yeah I want it

it's a great question oh my god hurry this train up again no no no no no I didn't think about this I want the third pick okay weird flex DK what do you want I want the first pick great that's what I would have took okay cool All right, DK, you're on the clock.

We're going to do this power hour style. So every two minutes, you're going to hear this sound. The NFL draft should use Tom Tom. Honestly, they should. But the chime hits. The chime's like 30% of white people watch the draft. I know. And it's the song, it's the jingle from Greece.

Oh, my God. Yeah, we got to run that. We got to explain that again. Remember that? We talked about this. I was deprived of a young girl's dream. Dund da, do, do and do. Oh, my God.

It is ripped off from Greece. That's like a wild. It's, it's, it's, it's, well. What's her name's song? It's raining. Isn't it Rizzo? Yeah. Anyway.

All right. I have third pick, which means I have picked three and four. So, D.K. first pick, then high fits. All right.

So you start the clock? Yeah, two minutes of the clock. I feel like this was the only one that I had any confidence in. And ironically, they just lost to the fucking Panthers. But I'm still taking the Rams.

I'm taking the Rams. I'm taking Sean McVeigh. I'm taking Matthew. I don't know what his middle name is, M. Stafford. And I'm taking a pass. The defense that can pass rush that can create turnovers that can cover all that stuff. So what do you guys think?

Matthew Stafford's middle name is Matthew. His first name is John. John Matthew Stafford. I think I heard that but I totally forgot. John Stafford. Is middle name? J.M. Stafford. I have a friend named J.M.

I had them second, but I get it. Yeah, the Rams. They're the only team of the NFC I trust. I totally. You had them second. I think there is a tier of three teams. that I have in the first tier that I think I would trust.

The Rams I had at the top of my first tier, but I don't feel like the Rams are head and shoulders above any other team, which is why I did not for the first pick. Like, I trust them enough. The Panthers stings, the Panthers lost stings a little bit. Took the shine off.

Took the shine off a little bit. But I think they are the consensus number one pick. I'm surprised Hypatts doesn't have that at number one. Dude, if they get into the red zone, good night. They have Devon. Yeah, I don't know. I think they are the number one.

The only thing, the downside with the Rams, obviously, you know, there are times where things get clunky, but the kicking. Rams have the one thing I'll say, the Rams of all the good teams, that is the whole to me. I'm not trying to poke all. The Rams are incredible, but the extra point, you got to watch it. You can't just see them score a touchdown. You have to watch them kick an extra point this year. But otherwise, yeah, I'm not going to quibble with the Rams as the topic. They're incredible.

And again, Devonthe Adams at the goal line, but also the defense is just. amazing. Again, the Rams really were so close to beating the Eagles last year in the playoffs in the snow. And then Jalen Carter kind of blobs Stafford. I feel like the Rams might be better this year. It just comes down to you not being a fan of Josh Cardi. Well, Harrison Mivas, you know? Harrison Meevis. How could you not? That's fair. Those are the top two. The team, I'm going to take number two, though. I'm taking the bills. Yeah. And I understand that there is questions here. The defense is worse, the run game, I get all that.

But I just think Josh Allen in the playoffs is probably the best player, the guy I trust most, and I just still think that they're capable of doing it. I just think Josh is unstoppable at times. I know. I had the bills in my top tier as well because of only Josh Allen. Yeah. I'm like, if I want, if I need to win a game in overtime and I have one possession or whatever, you know, obviously we're doing this with the defense too.

But I want the fucking superhero that is going to just will his team. I know that in the past, like in the playoffs, they haven't, they haven't finished. But Josh hasn't been the problem. It's not been Josh Allen's fault. No. Also, they've beaten other teams. Like, I, I just think Josh is unbelievable and I think he's still playing well. And I know the Texan game is tough. But even then, I'm like, that's the best even for the NFL on four days, 40s rest. Even last week with the Steelers, the bills did have either tackles for that game. Like that, we kind of didn't talk about that enough. The bills were in 249 rushing yards or whatever, it was 247. Without either starting tackle, I wonder how many

times that's ever happened in NFL history. They basically have a 250 rushing yards without your starting tackles. Yeah. Also, the bill's defense has been a little bit better over the last month of the season as well. I agreed they're also in the top tier for me. It's funny that the bills are not going to win their division. The Rams in theory cannot win their division and the team I'm going to pick next, it probably won't win their division, which is like the narrative of this entire season that the teams, we probably feel the best about it in crucial situations are not even going to win their division. This is what I was saying, where we're, we're between eras, like the Bills, the Ravens, the Chiefs,

all these teams that we have trusted and been dominant are just kind of falling off, but there's not really a tier yet that we trust. And maybe it's because we're simpletons and we need to see it happen in the playoffs, but also history suggests you do need to see it happen sometimes. The fear with the bills is that they've, I mean, they've had some bad losses this year.

They lost to Miami, 30 to 13. They lost to the Falcons and then the loss to the Patriots in Houston. It's just, their receiving core feels the worst as it's ever been. It's, I don't know who you depend on. I guess Khalil Shakir and you hope Dalton Kincaid can be healthy, but it's bad. I, that is why the Rams is probably a better pick. Yeah, Devante Adams and Puka versus Kalil Shakir and Kiann Coleman if he's not late for a meeting and, you know, whatever.

Well, he's, you know, I mean, Abdul Carter's late and he's fine. I mean, he's Keon Coleman scored a touchdown this week. Maybe that's the same. Maybe Abdul-Carter's not late enough. Craig, so you have two back-to-back picks here. Who are you doing? My, the first team I'm going to pick is the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah.

Yeah. I also have, even though they're going to miss the playoffs, I'm like, yeah. If the exercise is that we enter overtime, they're going to miss the playoff. This exercise, this draft is about if you enter playoffs, who do you think is going to win the game? I think you can argue right now it's still Chief's number one in the NFL. I was surprised you guys didn't rip me from taking the rules on the chiefs. That's the thing, though. They're not going to make the playoffs.

They're not going to be the playoffs. But Craig's right that in overtime, you know why. Six. It's, you know what the Chiefs are right now? They're that part in the movie where the, the hero kind of jumps off a bridge or jumps off a ledge 300 feet into a river. And then the villain looks over and they're like,

he's dead. And I'm like, until I see the, like, I need to see the body. Like, until I see the Chief's dead, they're not dead.

And even, I just proclaim them like this era of Kansas City might be over quicker than we think. And I still need to see them actually lose a goddamn game and be eliminated before the conference championship round. Um, I agree. I just, I think their offense is still really good, to be honest.

And they've just lost a lot of close games, which is something that didn't happen last year. The pendulum has swung in weird ways where last year was all or nothing. And this year was all and this year was nothing in terms of what they're doing in close score games. And I think that can easily flip. They've had an incredibly difficult schedule. I still think my homes looks good. Their offense is healthy. And so I'm kind of like, yeah, I'll just take my homes in overtime.

I know. Part of me just already regrets not taking homes myself over the pills. Also, because Kelsey- I'm actually proud of us for not taking Bahamas first. I think it's underrated that Rashid's coming back. I think has improved Travis Kelsey because Travis Kelsey being, again, I know it's overrated, but Xavier Worthy's a first-run pick, even if it's just speed and he's not that fast in real life.

And then Marquis Brown was a former first-run pick. Neither guy is as explosive as they once were. Marquis Brown's none of as explosive as he once was. But Kelsey's settling into like, in a weird way, a true tight end, even though. he's not, but where he can kind of be the third option of just settling into zones has also really helped their offense in addition to Rash. Kelsey's slotting down and how much he has to do, as I think made him better. Some of the variables that I was thinking about when I was making this list. And I think you could like interchange these, but coach and quarterback, I think are the biggest

things, obviously. Maybe it's quarterback and then coach. Identity, defense, and a team with a Trump card. And I'm like, the chiefs, I guess, their Trump card is Mahomes, but like obviously Andy Reid, Patrick Mahomes. The identity of them, I guess, is that I don't know what their identity is. Maybe that's like a negative on them and that's why they're six and six. But their defense, I think, can step up when they need to. And then the Trump card, maybe this is double counting, but like Mahomes just being fucking unkillable in late game stuff is another one of them. So like the Trump card I was thinking the Eagles come to mind with like the tush push, like just something that other teams don't have.

All right, Craig, so you get to pick again, who you take in here? I can't believe I'm doing this. No, I can't. Do it. Come on, do it, you coward. Do it. Why are you so scared? I kind of want to take Dallas.

Dallas, wow. To be honest with you, I'm like, I'm looking at other quarterbacks. I'm looking at Jordan Love and Boenicks and C.J. Stroud and Sam Darnold and Caleb Williams. Yeah. I'm between the Cowboys and the Pail Boys and the Pitch. Patriots. And I was like, well, if these two teams are playing in the overtime in the playoffs, who I think is going to win the game? And Dallas is incredibly impressive offensively. What if they have to run a play where they do a quarterback draw and try and run to get better

field position and then run the clock out? What happens then? That was a different era, D.K. I actually do think it was a different era. I think Brian Schottnheim has done a great job. And Jason Garrett was a terrible coach and Mike McCarthy was... That was McCarthy though, yeah. Oh, I know. But Jay's, they had 10 years of Jason Garrett. Yeah. And then Mike McCarthy had the era where he, I mean, not just the playoff losses under McCarthy

were comical. The Zeke Elliott getting, they ran a, the Zeke Elliott at center and then it didn't work immediately. And then there was the 19 seconds. They couldn't spike the ball, which now you watch the NFL, give it a week, looks insane. And then they got the Packers spanked them like, just like a couple years ago. And so, or no, that was last year. I think Schottenheimer has not only changed the offense,

I think they're way, way, way more buttoned up in all those areas. Yeah, this might come back to Biden. This might be just crazy recency bias because they just beat the Eagles and the chiefs. But I think they have like the number one offense in the NFL. I think they can run the ball. They have two elite probably top five receivers in the league. That's the Trump card.

Yes, the defense has been a lot better. And I think DAC is playing like a top five quarterback in the league. I'm kind of like if it's overtime, I think they will score a touchdown. And I think they can against anyone. It's just can the defense hold up? It's been a lot better lately. Yes, it's been a lot better the last month. So I kind of think right now,

I kind of trust Dallas in the playoffs, which is crazy because Dak Prescott has, what, one place in his career? When you were asking us before the show, if this is at home or away, you're worried about where the sun is? Well, so over time, it's probably a night game. Yeah.

You know, sun's probably down. I mean, they know where the sun's going to be almost a year in advance. Okay, so Craig, you're taking Dallas. So it's my pick again. Yeah. All right. I'm,

this is going to be controversial too. Is it? Although part of me thinks if I don't take this team, they'll come back to me. All right. Well, you're going to have to, you're going to have to see how this all goes. Drafting is tricky in that way. Can you wait another round? I don't think you guys are going to take them.

I'm going to take, I'll take the Packers. Yeah. Which is also weird. I think that, I think this is what, the reason we're doing the show is that the, middle is a little squishy. And like, that's the whole thing right now is you don't know who he'd trust. But I just think Jordan Love, I trust him way more than I thought. I think the he's made way better, way better decisions in the last few weeks. And that was the weakness for the Green Bay Packers was Jordan Love's decision making. And now that he's just kind of making

the correct decisions, I think the Packers are going to be a little bit of a wagon because they can run the ball. I'm getting J. And read back, Christian Watson being full, like, I know Tucker Kraft's out for the season, but like I, the flip side is also, Michael Parsons, I think has learned how to end a game, which is the most valuable thing, the last level of being a pass rusher. Like, Von Miller, like, it's one thing to be good enough to kind of win a rep whenever you want. But being able to set up your punches for the knockout in the ninth round, like being able to set it up for the final drive, like Thanksgiving, Michael Parsons just ended the game. And I, he had five tackles on third or fourth down that ended drives on Thanksgiving.

Like, Michael Parsons has been a, he's incredible. I just kind of think the Packers going to overtime. They're going to win a game. I had them second. I was almost going to get my first and second picks here. Oh, you had them second in the entire NFL. Yeah. I just think they're really balanced.

No, you don't. You don't think they're second. What are you talking about? You tell me it's Bill's Packers in the Super Bowl and overtime, and your gut tells you that Jordan Love is going to win? Or it's Chiefs Packers, and you think the Packers would beat the Chiefs in overtime? Maybe. That's how I wrote it down.

Now you're starting to fucking talk me out of it But yeah The more of the back of this The more of like in the spirit of the exercise And like oh the chief should have just gone first This is a stupid exercise But I do But I think again

This is a little bit of recency bias But when I think of the Packers I'm like Okay Jordan Love He can be really clutch I think Lafleur is a good coach They have a really Talent Pack defense And their trump card is they can

Rush to Passer like Mike and Parsons Is they're sort of of like, if nothing else is working, we got Micah Parsons. And so that's kind of why I think, just from a complete, you know, they can beat you in multiple different ways point of view. Obviously, like when I think of Josh Allen and Patrick Bahams, I'm like, okay, never mind. But he's on the higher, the Packers are on the higher end of that second tier of team, I think. The only problem is his love hasn't been particularly good in the playoffs.

He's one and two lifetime, five TDs, five picks. I mean, I would quibble with that. Jordan Love. He had the great game against the Packers. I mean, he obliterated the Packers and he played really, really well against the Nines. He obliterated the Cowboys. Sorry, yeah, he obliterated the Cowboys. He obliterated the Cowboys.

He did, get him confused. He did obliterated the Cowboys. It was like 48 points or something at the playoffs. Yeah. I don't know, Dallas. But yes. It's just, like you said, Hyvitz, love can look like the best quarterback in the league on a particular drive and then look like the worst than another. Play to play.

But I think he, I'm, maybe I'll eat my worst. I think he's when the dumb plays are being eliminated. And it's a mix of him not needing to throw every throw off platform. Yeah. This is a good pick. I mean, I agree. This is probably right around where they should go. So you have two picks again.

So, D.K., you pick the Rams. Again, this is to win. You're going to overtime in the playoffs. Who do we trust to win? DK has the Rams. I have the bills and Packers. Craig is the Chiefs in Dallas. Diki, you have two picks right now.

Christ, this is not an easy spot to be in because I feel like where we are now, there's a lot of blemishes on all these teams and reasons to not pick them. Let's see, I guess I'm going to go with the Patriots here for multiple reasons. I think Drake May is playing out of his mind right now, and that to me is sort of he is almost like you don't want to speak too soon because the Patriots have not had a very strong schedule. like the guys the players they're going against is like that is a huge caveat to the season. But Drake May is turning into everything we thought his ceiling could be. And I just want to like we have to say that.

He's turning out to be better than I think almost anyone thought. Maybe Nate Tice thought he was going to be better than this. That's about the only guy. And so I'm going with Vrabel and May as sort of like these are the two things I'm leaning on here. I don't feel awesome about it because I think the Patriots haven't really been tested all that much this year. but and I don't think the receiving core is like coming together yet although they I think they like Kyle Williams is coming on a little bit and you know Kisham booty has been better than expected but you know Stefan Diggs and they just kind of rotate their guy so I think

that would be like what it worries me but yeah I mean ultimately you know if if you give the ball to Trayvion Henderson he's just going to take it to the house I think there's a couple things that you hit on earlier that makes sense for New England which is coaching quarterback they are among the best right now. I even think you toss an offensive coordinator, somebody like McDaniels who's super experienced. Yeah, he's been there. Had a million playoff games.

He clearly has chemistry, play calling wise with Drake May. It's funny, the Patriots being, how, they went nine in a row? Like, 10. 10 in a row. They're kind of like the March Madness team that, like, is young, isn't kind of a weird,

they're in like the whack or the Mac or something like that. Good Zaga. Yeah, and they've won like 20 straight, but they haven't played anybody. They're like 30 and three. And they have Jalen's, yeah, and he's like Jalen Suggs. Drake makes like Jalen Suggs where he's actually really good,

but also are they really 30 and one or whatever? Yeah, you're like they haven't played anybody. They play like St. Mary's is the hardest game every year for them. But then they get into the tournament. Everyone's like, well, they haven't played anybody straight to schedule. And they can still hang. And then they just win because they have chemistry.

They've been winning every game. And at a certain point, winning that much, learning how to win is sticky. and carries through. I still think Mike Vrable is among the better week-to-week game-playing coaches in the entire NFL, if not the single best one. And Josh McDaniel,

I think you could argue the Patriots are the best coaching staff in the league between Vrable and Josh McDaniels. And that's wild considering where they were one year ago, you know? I know. And Josh McDaniels, I think Josh McDaniels is the epitome of he's probably the worst head coach in NFL history given the flame out with the Broncos taking the Colts job and then quitting before he started. but after he had hired coaches who had quit their jobs and then not going and then doing the Raiders thing and then celebrating we got fired. He's probably like the worst coach you could have hired statistically in the NFL.

But then he's like maybe one of the best coordinators ever. Like I know he had Tom Brady, but he's kind of look. You're like, all right, Tom Brady, even Tom Brady can't do shit alone. Like he fucking went 16 and 0 with Brady. He set every record. Like now he's got Drake May like the coach. And also Mike Vrabel outcoached Bill Belich in the playoffs. Mike Vrabel kind of ended the Belichick Brady dynasty.

Like in the playoffs. Like I just, yeah, so I don't mind this pick at all. So Dicke, you have two picks though. Who's your second pick here? This one's brutal.

This one is absolutely brutal. We thought this would be fun and we're actually, it's actually excruciating. I'll go full Homer here and pick the Seahawks. I know that Darnold is a fucking God. Who knows what the hell's going to happen with this guy. But I really trust McDonald. I really trust the defense.

Their special teams have been great. And, you know, obviously JSN has been one of the best players. in the NFL full stop this year. I think the darnal thing scares the living hell out of me. I'll be honest. Especially going to overtime and you're like, oh, it's like that is the only reason

I didn't pick them way earlier because I think their defense is elite. They have a ton of depth. They can rush the passer. They really confuse the hell out of opposing quarterbacks. They can stop the run. They have playmakers at every level. Special teams is really good. Yeah, their special teams have been really good.

So there's like a lot of good things in terms. of like playoff football there but obviously the startled thing could go anywhere but darrell can also rip it man I mean that's the thing is like he can also rip like a 50-yard pass and put it in dropping in a bucket downfield and you know what kubiak has been pretty damn good too as a offensive play caller so you know this this one is like terrifying but I'm going but the argument also is defense wins championships and the Seoaks they have the best defense probably yeah I don't mind this at all okay I have I thought you give me I thought you guys are going to give me shit about this, but I would have given you shit if you did not take

the Seahawks, actually. So you have Rams, Patriots, and Seahawks, is that right? Yeah. Yeah, Seattle is, Seattle, I think, is the trickiest team. Yes. I think Chicago's close to, but like to just project what is possible in the playoffs with this team. Yes.

You could argue. I mean, defensively, they're a top five unit in the league. They have like maybe the best receiver in the league. And when Donald is right, looks like he can make any throw just like any quarter of can. I just can't get the last year's playoffs out of my head and I don't think anybody can. But the six of the number one team in way to div you away. Yeah. I mean, they're

yeah. The question is, is like, can they run the ball in the playoffs? Yeah. And will you be able to trust Donald when they're like down 10 in the third? Right. See that? Yeah. That's the thing. Because it's, he's cooking when like the

defense gets a pick six and then he's like loose. Yeah. This is overtime. This is overtime. It's tied. They're not down 10, Craig. There's a couple T. Well, they can be down seven. It's true. Shit.

No, they're not going to be down seven. They probably won't be with the defense. That's fair. You know what? That's a very fair point. That is a good argument. Just need a field goal, which Donald can do. Yeah, maybe you take them higher.

All right. I feel like I'm taking on in 20 minutes. Go ahead. This is why Craig didn't want to do snake. I'm taking the Denver Broncos. Ooh. I had him. That's where I had him.

I'm taking Denver, man. Denver, the defense is no question. I, you know, top five and way to DVO versus the run. Unless they're playing Marcus Marriota. Unless to play a game of his life, that fucking guy. That was unbelievable. But overall, the defense, I think the truth is the Broncos are a little bit of a horseshoe team,

like the horseshoe up their ass. It started with Baker, but I have been as critical of Bonix as anyone. But Bonix has won these situations and been clutch the entire year. He's been pretty good late in games. Yeah. Mario played well, but Bonnix went down and they just went down and scored a touchdown in overtime immediately on Monday night or sorry, Sunday football. The Chiefs game, Bo Nix just went down.

They just went back and forth to the homes, the whole fourth quarter, and then he iced the game for the field goal. Like that was two very impressive drives at the end of the Chiefs game. The Texan, I mean, the Texans, like, little ugly looking at the time, but the Texan defense is amazing. Like, I think Bo Nix fared all right. If you grade on a curve versus Houston, I know that game, you know, wasn't exactly how they wanted to go.

But also there was this other game. I'm trying to remember who was against that the Broncos scored. How many points? Evo and 33? What was it? How many? No, that could be too many. There's no way

that would have been that many. No, that doesn't feel possible. That feels like an NBA game. Point is, I know, that would be crazy. It'd be a lot for the NBA.

But Bo Nix just has been good all year in the fourth quarter, man. The Broncos defense is amazing. Also, well, let's get a contract extension of kicker. Like, the kind of have,

kicking is a part of this, too. The special teams, like, I just think the Broncos, if Bo Nix is the weakest part of the equation, I think the Broncos are, I kind of trust them. I don't know. You laughed at that, Craig.

No, no. This is exactly where I had them. I would have probably taken them next if you didn't take them. Is this the team that you were worried about that you said you want to save for later? Was that Denver? Yeah, I was thinking about them. And I was like, the Packers are better, but I was like, there's no way D.K. I was taking the Broncos.

I mean, look, the Broncos this year have. Fair play. The Broncos had beaten the Eagles, the Chiefs, the Cowboys, and the Texans. At a certain point, you have to kind of tip your hat. Oh. And with that perfect timing, Craig, you're finally back on the clock. I, if we're going to post this online our picks, I think I'm just going to get absolutely murdered for all these teams,

but I don't really care. I'm just flying high. I'm taking the Texans. No, I like that one. I don't mind it. This year, you don't have to be embarrassed by this. Well, the next one I'm going to be embarrassed by it. I'm taking the Texans who have this year have beaten the bills.

They've beaten the Colts, the Jags, and the Niners. I think they have the best defense in the league. They're giving up a season low, 16 points per game. They're giving up a season low, 265 total yard. cards per game. As much as I don't like Stroud in the way he's been playing this year, I do think there is something about Stroud in the playoffs that I kind of like. I think he kind of plays up and down to his opponent. He's two and two in the playoffs. His first playoff game ever was against a really good Cleveland defense and they scored like 45 in that game and kick the

shit out of them. I like the receivers. I feel like if this is overtime and they have the ball and I'm like big Nico Collins, Jaden Higgins, like I kind of like his options to throw the ball. Yeah, I had them pretty high. I'm not going to say how high because you guys will make fun of me, but I had them pretty high. Tell me. Six.

No, we're all bears to admit it. These are the top, I mean, the first nine picks. These are the first nine teams I had. Defense wins championships is a saying for a reason. I have the Texan six.

I don't blame you because it's weird. I agree with what you're saying, Craig, where the receiving core has come on enough that I don't think the Texans' offense is so pathetic. I don't love that they can't really run the ball that well. But overall things seem like they're improving. Maybe it's the level of competition they've been playing. but it's funny.

The two best defenses, I feel like, are probably the Texans and the Seahawks. And you can maybe Broncos or Browns are up there too. But what's funny is DK, the Seahawks defense is amazing because of all the disguises they do and everything. It's not just the players are so good,

but they are complicating everything. Nothing is as it seems. The Texans just line up and play like the Seahawks did a decade ago with the leadership boom. The Texans literally just out hustle, out execute, out physical, out tackle.

Therefore, defensive linemen will be. your five. The coverages aren't that crazy. They're just like flying to the ball. They're so aggressive. They're so aggressive against the run. They're so aggressive against the pass. And they're just like Derek Stingling. They're the best cornerback and the best edge rusher duo. They just fucking rock you. I mean, the Texans were not very good last year and they snuck into the playoffs and they beat the Chargers by 20. And they lost to the Chiefs. And they were winning in the fourth quarter last year against the Chiefs in the playoffs. Of all these teams, I think it's fair to say. you're most confident that the Texans and Seahawks get a stop in overtime.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Put it in the hands of your. Are you guys putting more emphasis here on defense or offense? It depends on the team. I think if you're an elite defense that matters a ton of me. That's why the Seahawks, you could argue.

Darnolds, I think Donald's more likely to turn it over than Stroud. And to me, I know. I also think I'm the other one thinking kickers. Kamee Fairbairn can make a 67-yard field goal. I'm confident. Yeah. And the Texans kicker? Yeah.

I almost picked the Texans instead of the Seahawks. but I went with the Homer route. Well, they're also going to get a stop. And that's what it's about. That's the thing. Darnal doesn't have to get all the way down the field. Darnal needs to get 30 yards in the scenario. That's the thing with the defense.

It's true. Okay. So I get another pick. Yeah, you get another pick here, Craig. Well, you think the order so far, we have Rams, Bill. These are teams we trust to win a playoff game. Rams, Bill's Chiefs, Cowboys, Packers, Patriots, Cahawks, Broncos, Texans.

This is the 10th team, Craig. There's a glaring omission. I feel like so far. You think it's silly? Well, arguably. No. I'm going to, you think,

I don't agree that there's one glaring omission. I know what he's saying, but I'm curious. I guess maybe, yeah, maybe it's not glaring. I think I'm going to take Chicago. Oh,

wow. Interesting. You like Ben Johnson the most, I guess. I do. I don't know what it is. I, kind of similar to the Patriots

where it's just like, they just keep winning. and I think there's something to that. I mean, Caleb has like, there's some crazy stat about like the last time a one seed has been, the last time the one seed's quarterback was the worst, had the worst

completion percentage in the league was like 50 years ago or something like that. I'm kind of, I don't know, I'm just kind of like weirdly buying into Caleb and Ben Johnson and I, I think there's just like a little bit of magic there and I think they're just getting started and, and yeah, I don't know.

The post game videos of Ben Johnson in the locker room are rotting your way. Taking off his shirt. I had the Bears nowhere near this. This is why we do this because, like, I think you get caught up in the record. And like, first of all, by DVOA, which is, again, just context adjusted performance, basically. The Bears are the worst nine and three team in NFL history by DVOA. But then they had a negative, they were outscored by their opponents until the Eagles game last week.

But when I picture the overtime thing, the bears can run the ball. I have no confidence in Caleb Williams in the playoffs. And the decision making from Caleb is better. but when you grave on a curve that he was horrific last year and took the fourth most sacks ever. I have, like, Ben Johnson's whole thing is like, good, better best.

Caleb's decision making's better. It's not good yet. I have no faith in him in the playoffs. They've beaten the commanders with Jaden. They beat Dallas. They beat the Eagles. They beat the Steelers. They can run the ball.

I like all of their receivers. Their offensive line is good. I trust Ben Johnson. Ben Johnson is the argument. Also, the defense that you could go either way. They have 25 turnovers. So you could argue, you know, they're hot.

It's one of those things that we're like virtually certain won't repeat next year. I just look. It's why I thought I would. Where'd you have them ranked? I had them 16th. Uh, no, what do I have them 10th? I have them 15th. That's why I knew I would get killed for this, but it's where my heart is.

I like it. You're anything if not, you're not boring is what I was trying to say there. Yeah. Don't worry. Um, which brings us to, who, D.K. Yeah, I don't know. I lost track. Oh, Hyphitz.

I think it's back to Hyphitz. Uh, wow. I'm, shit. You know, it's so funny. Part of me wants to just talk out. Can I, should I talk to this out? You got a pick. You got a pick.

It's funny that everyone's got a list until they get punched in the face. Everyone has a list until you're up. I know. I have a list. Should I go with the board? Should I go with the board? Who do you want? Say Philadelphia.

I'm thinking about Philadelphia. I'm thinking about it. I'm about to pull up Shield's Twitter feed here. I'm no, I don't because when they say, Their offense is fucking horrible. Is this the glaring omission to you, DK, or no? No. Interesting.

It's the Colts? Baltimore, who is it? I'm taking the 49ers. She's going to have to wait. I'm taking the 49ers because I'm thinking about it. And I thought about taking the Eagles, but I'm like, no, I've watched them with my eyes. And I'm not picking them. I'm taking the 49ers.

Watch them with my eyes. Which are also a flawed team. But the offense is getting going to defense. I already feel this. This to me is a fear. You already regret it 10 seconds. I do. I know why.

This tier as teams is really flawed because you have the 49ers who I have a lot of questions about the defense and Brock Purdy's hurt, the Eagles who I literally thought about taking right there. But I'm like, the Eagles are so hard to watch an offense. No. There's like the lions who also have all these issues. They're off another team's offensive lines and shell of itself. Tampa Bay where I am solely would pick them just for Baker Mayfield, no other reason.

The cults, which we will get into. But now I'm taking the 49ers because I just think, I mean, Shannon has a lot of playoff success. Shannon's been to half the NFC championship games in the last 10. years. Shannon's been to a third of the Super Bowl's the last decade. So I'm going with the Niners. Didn't they all go to overtime and he lost them all? Uh, you know, that's, that's a good point. That's, you know, when you say it like that, uh, well, they have different rules. It'll be different. This time it'll be different. They changed the rules. I think the Niners are a fine

pick and it's like, I, you know, the only problem is the kicking I don't trust at all. If you talk about the kicking. That's super fair. That's super fair. You're also, it's a good point that they always lose it overtime. They always lose it over time. No, but it's like, look, you trust Shanahan. Purdy has enough experience. And Sala is such a good defense coordinator. Yeah, the play calling's really good on both sides of the ball. Lost all these free agents for the 49ers of defense.

All the healthy players they kept got hurt. And then he has all these rookies. And like, they're, Alfred Collins' defensive tackle. Like all the 90s, Saul is, sometimes like you guys just consistently take guys and players and just make them so much better as a whole than the sum of the parts. You look at what the Niners have done the last few weeks and versus the actual, I don't know, I think Sala is doing an amazing job on defense. I think that's a totally fair pick, to be honest.

I had them right after the Bears. Also, on my sheet, I think I deleted my number 12 team, and I hope I don't forget who that is. I need to quickly run through and make sure I'm not leaving anybody out. All right. Okay, I have a job again, right? No, I'm in the middle. Yeah, back to me.

So I got twice. Oh, okay. These are your final two picks, D.K. All right. I'm going to start with the Lions. ultimately have them explosive playmakers they've got a couple of good pass rushers and i really like their coach they're really aggressive jerry goff strangely has been good late in games uh over the last couple of years game winning drives and fourth quarter comebacks so you know

we're getting down into the point of the draft where you can pick apart every pick but um i got the I think when the lions tried to bring Frank Ragnow, their center of retired this season. And he didn't pass physical. Yeah. He's like a great three hamstring tear? Yeah. I didn't know there were three grades, but I tore my hamstring this year. But like, Lyons getting so excited about Ragdown that he failed the physical was was kind of an ache.

But the lions, I, yeah, it's, it's another team where all the things we said about them just kind of were true. The coordinator stuff, Matt. Calvin Shepards did a great job. I think the line's defense. But another thing to remember when you have 14 players or whatever, an injured reserve on defense last year, that's four. Everyone's like, well, they're healthy. It's like, no, you have 14 players rehabbing from season-ending injuries entering this year.

And then half those guys got hurt again. So then you once again have the same problems on defense. But guess what? The offense got hurt this year too. So like Amon Ra's injured. Sam Laporte is injured. His backup, Brock Wright has hurt at Tide-end. The offensive line is not the same and injured.

Like, it's just they look. Do I not get Aaron-Ross? Like, are we pretending this game is happening tomorrow? Because I want Amon-Ros. No, fine. Amon-Ros probably on the team. but everyone else around him. Like Sam Laporte, I have no idea if he's going to play.

Right, right, right. I think, yeah, ultimately you're right with all that stuff. I mean, this Lions team is still fourth and DVOA this year. They still have two guys who legitimately could take one touch and just house it at any point in time. And Gibbs and Jameson Williams, one of the most reliable slot receivers in Ammona, St. Brown. And again, like, Goff, among all the quarterbacks left, I actually trust Goff, I think. I mean, we haven't talked about the Ravens, but like, I trust Goff. off more than probably any of the other quarterbacks on the board still.

Now is where it gets weird. Now you have like debilitating things you have to make excuses for. The teams left have crazy problems. And worth noting many division winner like many division winners likely left who have debilitating problems. This one is this one is a lifetime achievement award. I'm going with the Ravens. I decided I didn't have them ranked.

In my heart of hearts, I don't think they can. Right this moment, they are completely untrustworthy, but they still have Lamar Jackson. Hyvin, you didn't have them ranked out of how many teams? I had, that's not true. 20 teams. I ranked 10-Age conference. I put the Ravens 18th, 19th, only ahead of the Panthers. I put the Steelers ahead of the Ravens.

Week one, week one, when the Ravens went up like, however many points on the bills and then blew the lead. DK called the Ravens the best team I've ever seen who I don't trust to win a game. I mean, this is my, what, seventh pick, sixth pick, fifth pick. I mean, look, every single team left on the board has some like absolutely glaring vulnerability. No, it's fair. And I'm going back to what I said at the beginning with Josh Allen. If I have one drive to win it all, I want a guy who has superhero power, superhero powers. D.K. You're walking away with the Rams, the Patriots, the Seahawks, Ravens, and Lions. Those are pretty good teams.

I mean, we've given up on the Ravens, despite the fact that, like, this is truly the worst stretch of football that Lamar has ever played. I don't think that's going to continue forever. Oh, oh, sorry, just getting worried. Lamar popped up on the injury port, the nether ankle injury. Oh, good. I mean, that's every fucking week. Yeah, and every week he looks like shit. It's fine. No, it's every week in his career. He's sick like six times a season. It's not hand foot and ankle disease. He hurt his ankle.

Did he really? Well, no, I don't know. There's a bunch wrong with him and they're just listing a different body part every week. It's been knee, hamstring, ankle, toe. Okay, so do you want, would you rather, do you trust Daniel Jones? It's a damn nursery rhyme at this point. Would you trust Daniel Jones or Jalen Hertz right now over Lamar Jackson? Uh, I don't know.

This is, I don't know. Is it bad that I've double, I've thought about. Daniel Jones. I'm curious who D Craig's going to do on this double tap right now. Oh, no. I'm up again? No, I personally, for me, do not trust Daniel Jones more than Lamar Jackson. The two-time MVP, Lamar Jackson, I trust more than Daniel Jones. If I'm being honest, like, if I'm just in my heart of hearts, my soul of souls, of like, maybe there's intellectual arguments are just watching whatever, but like just how having watched these teams, I just kind of, I'm going to take the bucks.

I just think Baker Mayfield, honestly. Maybe that's stupid. Maybe that's over the cults, over the Eagles. You know what? I'll tell you why. Daniel Jones has a broken fucking leg and I cannot get over that. And they're doing tryouts of kicker. They're doing tryouts a kicker for the cults today.

They're thinking about signing Blake Groupie from the Saints and Daniel Jones has a broken leg and like, and they're like, it's a fracture. It's fine. It won't get worse. I can't get that out of my head. He has a broken bone on his leg. and he used to win a game a month from now. I can't take him.

That's insane. It's funny. Yeah, the Colts, I mean, obviously the Colts have, we've lost a lot of confidence in the Colts over the last few weeks. But I mean, man, they were the wagon. We were talking about them as the wagon. I think it's not a month ago. I'm out.

But I'm taking the bucks. I have no great analysis here. They're beat to shit. They're probably a terrible pick. But honestly, the concern with the books. Mike Evans might be back soon. Yes, I was going to say, Mike Evans coming. The concern with the Buccaneers is they could never make a,

to overtime. But once they're in overtime and they drag you down to their level, I actually kind of have a lot of confidence. If you make it like a, like a just like the Dodge Bowl final mono-on-one, like one-on-one, I'm like, I actually think the bucks would win. Put put the blindfold on Baker Mayfield. Yes. Like Peter and Dodgeball. Yeah. Did Tom Tom already play or no? No, just bail out. You're good. The Colts haven't played anybody. The more you look at the cult's schedule, they were a wagon and fun to bet and Ringer 107, but they literally, who have they beaten. They beat the Chargers and they beat the Broncos when they really shouldn't have. That's it. They have no other wins. They lost to Houston, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, and the Rams.

They beat the Broncos, the Falcons, the Cardinals, the Raiders, the dolphins, the, I don't know, the Titans. It's just not there. Third and DVA way. So am I closing this out with the final two? Yeah, or one, I guess technically. I guess you're already taking. No, I have one, two, three, three, four. Oh, yeah, five words. I fucking dare you to take the Jaguars. Please.

Should we go down? Just do it. Just do it. Let's keep going. Let's do one more round after this. Okay. I'm going to take, I have to take the Philadelphia Eagles. I know, I know.

It's so funny that they went. The reigning Super Bowl champions? I will be taking the Eagles. The Finianzier? Who talent-wise still might be the best team. in the NFL? I don't know. This is the dumbest pick of the entire fucking thing. They should have been taking about seven picks earlier.

I should have took them instead of the bucks probably. If you just freaking Ravens over the Eagles, I'm an idiot. If you just swap where I took the Bears with where I took the Eagles, it's perfectly fine draft. That's like if the Lions took Jemir Gibbs and then Brian Branch and they probably should swap them. Yeah. Look pretty good though. I mean, the Eagles could totally probably like lose the next three games and lose the

NFC east of the Cowboys. and yet I do feel like, I don't know, in overtime, their defense and all their skill position players, I think they can put together a game winning drive. Jaylon hurts. They also have the tush push. The other part of this we didn't weigh in on is that the problem with picking, like letting the Eagles fall because we think their offense is bad, is that Jalen Hertz is more or less his entire life is just only being good when the game is on the line.

Yeah. But I mean, I know that's not really true. The best game I've ever seen him play was that Super Bowl we all went to together. first Chiefs Eagle Super Bowl, he was incredible. Their offensive coordinator's house got egged this week. Did it? Yes, it did. Petula's house got egged.

Petula's house got egged? Got egged. This is, but that's a great example. Our houses are about to get egged for picking them this low. I will, I mean, obviously, probably shouldn't. 31 other city. 31 other teams. Thanks for the same.

Philly, I wasn't surprised Philly did that at all. Isn't that a perfect example of the Eagles, though? Do you think the head coach, do you think a coach of the reigning champion of any sport, I guess maybe not soccer, the coach of a reigning champion was ever had their house agged by fans? Only in Philadelphia could a fan base be so angry about the defending champions. Maybe Petulow is just kind of playing possum. And then once he gets to the playoffs, he's going to start running some crazy motions. AJ Brown's going to be all over the field. I still think this is

this is the ultimate this is the ultimate recency bias pick in terms of how low they've gone I mean the bears just rushed for almost 300 yards on them can I yeah like go into overtime

and the other team can just run the ball down your throat like this is I want to I know Tom Tom played I want to linger in the Eagles for a second because it's worth talking about

in part because Petula's house got egged which don't egg people like that's crazy but it speaks to like one how to depraved and why I say Philadelphia's a capitalist place They should have only egg

the outer rim of the house because herrits never throws over the middle of the field. Yeah, that would have been good. They probably just hit all the, yeah, exactly. Don't hit the windows in the middle. Yeah, they just egg the flat. Can I, but real quick, because I mentioned Sheel's Twitter account a few minutes ago.

This is from the other day from Sheel. After today's performance, the Eagles offense rates 28th in success rate. They are producing a positive play at a lower rate than offenses like the Saints and the Jets. It's the worst offensive success rate for an Eagles team through this point in the season. in the last 20 years.

I have no faith in them offensively. They are terrible. But here's the thing, and this is worth talking about because Eagles fans playing Kevin Petulow. I think this is exactly the same to me as when the Steelers fans all hated Matt Canada, the offensive coordinator.

And Seth Myers, when a Bill show and had the theory that if people know your coordinator's name, that's bad. If non-fans know the coordinator, it's bad. Like, it's not good that everyone in America who follows football now is learning about Kevin Petullo's name. ever going. But here, it's like Matt Canada with the Steelers, where Matt Canada somehow with

PR gets branded as like a rogue who's just running this fiefdom on offense. Mike Tomlin's his fucking boss with the Steelers. Like this is Tomlin's fault. Like he reports to Mike Tomlin. Who did this? He just, and it's like with the Eagles, this is the same, this is the same story as always. Kevin Matula was picked by Siriani. Kevin Matula was Siriani's guy. Siriani's, it's his offense. It's not like Siriani is begging Kevin Betula to. to do different shit and Petula won't. It's Siriani's direction. The story of the modern eagle, this is so important.

It gets lost. When Siriani has gotten, when he got hired, they paired him with Shane Steichen. The front off, like he's like a baseball manager. Siriani, baseball managers don't have that control anymore. The front office has set the lineups. They do everything. Baseball managers are there for vibes. That's Siriani.

Tawi Roseman pairs him with Shane Steichen. Year one's good. Year one's good. Year two, they like, go to the Super Bowl. And it goes great. Shane Steichen leaves. The front office pairs of again with Kellynne Moore. That goes really well.

Kellynne Moore leaves. Siriani wins the Super Bowl and, or sorry, no, they don't replace the Kellam Moore. That in between season, the offense court is Brian Johnson. Fucking Siriani got to pick the offensive coordinator. And it was a disaster after Shane Stuyken left. They went to Tampa Bay. Who had already beaten them in the playoffs like a couple years earlier. And they had no blitz checks, no hot routes, no, like,

They were unprepared for blitzes from Tampa Bay because of Siriani's pan-pick coordinator. And he also picked Matt Patricia to run the defense in the middle of the season. It was insane. So they're like, this is why we didn't let Syriani hire anyone. And they brought in two new quarters. Howie Roseman in the GM in the front office brought in Vic Fangio on defense and Kellanmore in offense. Then they went and won the Super Bowl because they weren't running with Siriana. The two Super Bowl seasons were the coordinators, Siriani didn't get to pick.

Then he won the Super Bowl. So Seriani gets to pick the coordinator. He picks his guy, Kevin Matool, and it looks like this. It's every other year they switch back because when Siriani gets the juice of a Super Bowl run, it picks them and he picks everyone fucking wrong. So that's why I'm like, yeah, I think they should go 15th because they're not the Eagles we saw last year. They're the Eagles that flame the fuck out the year before. Wow.

All right. With that said, I see A.J. Brown open over the middle of the field like six times a game and J. Jail and Harts isn't thrown him. I do think Hurt has regressed as well. And I know that was a, well, my answer to the long rant is, and I know that was a long rant, But what I'm trying to say is Eagles fans get so defensive. It has to be like if you play in the coaching staff at Siriani's fault. And if you don't want it to be Hertz's fault, it has to be the coaching staff's fault.

And it's like Eagles fans want to defend Siriani and Hertz. And it's like it's, I think it's like 50-50. Hertz has so many limitations. People don't know. It's hard to know what to do with them. And the Eagles staff is Seriani doesn't know how to do with them. It was only two years ago. Last off season, there was the report that Siriani and Hertz couldn't be in the same room together.

It was going so poorly before they won the Super Bowl. Siriani. Seriani's got to be the funniest. Room together alone. Anyway. Is it Siriani or is it hurts though? I don't know. That is the question.

Hertz is incredibly limited, but he has a skill set that when you decorate it, Stuyken and Kellan Moore were able to cook with the ingredients that Hertz breaks. Hertz wants to do. There are certain things Jalen Hertz wants to do. Siriani doesn't do those fucking things. The pairing of them just alone doesn't, it's like a friend that like you don't know.

know to talk to them, just one-on-one, and the third person actually helps the flow. It's kind of, you know. Right, right, right. That's why he stuck with us in the beginning. DK and I in the beginning, we didn't know what the fuck we were doing. Doesn't it feel like the vibes rah-rah locker room coach is starting to die out in the NFL and that you kind of just need somebody who can keep up with the times and is advanced enough to call plays on both sides of the ball, like in the modern game.

It feels like the Tom wins, the like, even with Syria, it's like Siriani. You kind of just need a good. now because the game has gotten so advanced. And now you can't have a Petula who just like lines up and runs straight, you know, shitty, boring offensive plays. And same with the Steelers defense. Yeah. You can't have a defensive coordinator now who's just like, we're just going to line up and play

and you can read our defense now. Things are too complicated. Things are too advanced. Like I wonder if like the locker room guy, the Pete Carrolls, are dying out. It's a mix of it's the game didn't change. It got more fierce. And so on one hand, it's all harder. and it's harder to teach.

Like the active teaching players is harder and you have less time to do it. So the technique-based things and we're going to win on technique and fundamentals. That worked when you had two a days, 30 years ago, and you could get these guys practicing whenever you wanted. Now you have the CBA and limiting practice

and you want to win on technique and fundamentals and you can't coach nearly as long as you can and you've got to teach them in a completely different way. Anyway. Yeah. So I don't know where we, yeah. So who just went? I took the Eagles.

Took the Eagles. You want to go one more round here? Do you get to go again now, Craig? Well, if we're doing one more round, yes. I get to complete my snake and then we'll end on Danny Kelly. Okay. This, you guys are also, I'm also going to get absolutely destroyed for this. Don't care.

Steelers. Nope. I'm taking the Cincinnati Bengals. Yeah, that's a good one, actually. I didn't even think about Rick either. I thought that's so fun. I kind of like made the assumption that you have to be able to make the playoffs. Well, they can.

technically. That is true. I overlooked that. I overlooked that part of it. Burrow is phenomenal in the playoffs. He's phenomenal when he plays and he's even better in the playoffs. He's five and two in the playoffs. He somehow has only one less playoff win than Jalen Hertz, Joe Burrow.

They have Evan McPherson, great kicker. I know the defense sucks. I know it does. But if it's in overtime and I have Jamar Chase T. Higgins and Joe Burrow, I'm probably going to feel better about that team than 20 of the other teams in the NFL. Yeah, I have no qualms. I kind of also wasn't sure they're in this, but I agree. I know, this kind of annoys me that, yeah, you thought of this.

I had him higher on this list, actually. It's good tonight. Yeah, dude, Burroughsman fucking lights out. It's crazy. He only has one less playoff win than Jalen Hertz. How is that possible? All right. At this point, it's funny.

I really think the best quarterback left by far is the Chargers. I know. And Justin Herbert. God, no cult. Still no cults. Well, that's what I'm saying. I'm not taking the Chargers. because at the end of the day,

I don't trust the charges to win a playoff game. The charges, I do believe in it. Like, they have offended some kind of higher power, the organization. And I won't be on this side. I will be with the cults. And, you know, yeah, Daniel Jones is a broken leg. But at this point, I will take the cults.

I mean, fucking Herbert has a broken hand. That is the other thing. It's like, what's going to happen with Herbert's hand? But I don't know. The cults, another team, a lot of these teams have kicker problems, which I think is going to come up as we get to the playoffs. but I don't like the sauce Gardner thing. I would have taken the Colts higher.

Mackay Blackman, the cornerback that they, I think he's playing poorly enough that Colts were like, I don't know if we can win the Super Bowl, if Mackay Blackman starting at cornerback, and then you go get Sauce Gardner for two firsts, and then Sauce Gardner's hurt, and I feel like McCoy Blackman's going to give up a touchdown in the playoffs at cornerback.

And then Daniel Jones, again, if the like broken leg gets worse. But I, yeah, I do think they're the 15th team I would trust for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think if there's any, like, out of left field picks that we could make here.

I'm not to, if Jane Daniels is healthy, are we discussing Washington? They're off. He's not healthy. He's not healthy. He's not even activated from injured reserve yet.

TK., you basically have, maybe. You basically have the chargers, the Steelers, and the Jags to pick from. I'm taking the chargers. I don't, I don't trust.

Fucking disrespect to Aaron Rogers. Come on. Aaron Rogers is as old as dirt. To be honest with you, I actually think if it's just overtime and it's one Aaron Roger's possession and one possession with T.J. Watt on the other side of the ball, I actually feel better

about them than across an entire game. Even though the other idea for this episode was drafting fractures and Aaron Rogers' wrist because there's three. Well, you just took a guy who's fibrous cracked as well. There's only one crack, though. In his fucking leg. Well, they said it can't get worse. The Rogers' one.

Rogers is funny because, Craig, you're right. He can still hit high-level throws. He just hardly ever does that. If we had to pick someone, if I had to pick a team that was like, we're on the 50 yard line and we need one play to win the game. Like Rogers might be the first pick. Well, here's what I'll say about Pittsburgh. They have, I think, the best kicker in the NFL,

or the second, Chris Bobwell. Yeah, that's true. Their defense can generate turnovers. They have guys like Jalen Ramsey, T.J. Watt, who can make big plays in crunch time moments and we've seen it year after year from those two. And Rogers, to his credit, when he needs. to in a two minute drill still looks good.

The Steelers have a brand of being like a fundamentals defense, but they're a fundamentalist team, but they're actually just all explosive plays in a way. It's like they actually need on defense. I mean, they're not Ben, but don't break. They don't really have great defense. They just get turnovers and sacks and like, that's it, man. If they don't get a T.J. Watts, Strip, sack, there is no stop. If they don't get a Jalen Ramsey for his fumble, there is no stop.

But that works in overtime. I'm upset. I didn't take the Steelers. I think the Steelers one is it that you make a good, you make a good, you make good points. I still am taking Herbert's flame thrower. I mean, just think about some of the throws he's made on like third and long in the playoffs.

And I just want that. And both of their losses? Well, it's almost his fault. It bothers me that the Raiders week 17 game where the winner makes the playoffs isn't counted as a playoff game. Like, that's a playoff game. If you win it, you make the playoffs. Like, your season's on the line. That's the whole point. And he made like four, fourth and nines. No, that was

an incredible game. But yeah, so overall, though. I mean, look, the freaking at least the Chargers fans aren't booing Renegate. So here's they don't even have a song.

Here's the order that we draft these things in. It's a plus. In this case. The song's good. The song is playing in the third quarter anyway. So again,

this is teams that we trust to win if they go to overtime in the playoffs. And the order we went with here was the Rams. Did no one pick the cults? Oh, wait, you did.

No. Hyvitz did. Okay, thank God. Rams, Bill, Chiefs, Cowboys, Packers, Patriots, Seahawks, Broncos, Texans,

Bears, Niners, Lions, Ravens, Bucks, Eagles, Bengals, Colts, Chargers. D.K., what is something you think you learned from doing this? It's always, it's still just all about the quarterback. Yeah, it always is. Totally. It always will be. It's, it's, yeah,

Hyvitz, you saying that the era, or like we're in the in-between stages of the NFL right now, that's true. But because we haven't entered the next era, we're still holding on to the one that we're leaving, which is Josh Allen, which is Mahomes, which is still Matt Stafford.

So I think it's like until we see otherwise, you have to kind of stick with the people who brought you there every year. I totally agree. And I think that's why this playoffs, right now it's weird because we're like, who's good? But when the playoffs happen, if we see Drake May and Jordan Love or Bo Nix or whoever stringed together wins in the playoffs. Yeah, Darnold, Stroud.

There's so many different possibilities. Ringer 107 in this competition we're doing goes through the playoffs. It's going to be the hardest playoffs to bet in 10 years. There's a tremendous opportunity for like the amount that stock, someone can be Nvidia stock in the NFL this year based on a Super Bowl run. You know what I mean? Like what that would do for Jordan Love, what that would do for Darnold, what that would do for Drake May or for even, you know, Bo Nix.

Like I, there's, there's a tremendous, tremendous vacuum right now. Who's, uh, do you guys like your team? What's the, your, you're, the pick you are, you like the most and you like the least. I almost regretted taking, not taking the Eagles and then I remember the fucking suck because Nick Siriani is running the offense. So that was my rant. So I feel fine. I am excited about having the Patriots for some reason. I just like want to hitch my wagon to May.

Who do you regret picking the most? I think I have the most trepidation about the Seahawks. I regret taking the Niners over the Lions. I probably regret taking the Bears. Yeah, that was kind of dumb. Dude, there's no way you believe in Caleb Williams at the end of the game. I don't know what it is. but I, it's not Caleb.

I don't know. Ben Johnson, like, the plays will be there. Like, the play, but it's the quarterback. The plays, the running game. I agree. All that. The defense you're counting on a tape. I think Caleb's legs, like, again,

in an overtime situation, like I think Caleb can get you down the field. I really do. Yeah. Okay. All right. The Ringer Fantasy football shows brought to by Fandul. Thursday night football continues to deliver

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Gambling problem, call 1-800 gambler or visit RG-dash-help.com. Call 1-88-7-8-8-7-7 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. Okay. Ringer Fantasy Football League update. We actually have a lot of updates here for the Ringer Fantasy Football League.

Starting with the standings. D-K and I have locked in the top two spots. D.K. beat me this week. I kind of tempted the fantasy gods. But we are the two we're locked in as the top two spots we're both 10 and 3 house and Sal have clinched

the other two have clinched playoff spots now out of the 10 so there's two spots left and this is where it gets important our boy Bangkok Craig is at 6 and 7 right now he's the fifth place I have no shot to make it unfortunately DK forgets

so shoot we're doing the points thing we're doing the last thing which is my idea and it's gonna I'm gonna be hoisted by my own talk about your own your all time backfires Craig pitched at the last second for this league that the six of the 10 playoff spots,

the final two, should not be by record, should be by points four. I'm not sure if it was at the last second, but if you're adding that on as a flare of dramatic, sure. But I think that was... You said that the final two.

Yeah. I think that's just the last one. I think that's the right way to play fantasy. We do it in my home league. I think it ensures that the best six teams are right. Super fair.

There was no debate. We're like, okay, that's cool. So the best of the best, the best, the most points scored of the six remaining teams are make it and those games to make the playoffs. Craig would have clinched

the playoffs basically if he uh if we had not done that but now Craig is actually instead of being in fifth place by record Craig's in eighth place by points four and so now Craig I believe needs to outscore Craig would need to outscore bill by mallory by like 40 points this week to make the playoffs so which is like technically possible but probably not you could so we really have by 40 yeah I could but it's possible it happens sometimes but so I outscored high fits by 40 today this week. He was in first place. I out scored Bill by 35 literally last week. So that's the

thing. So Bill right now, so right now Sean, sorry, right now Chris Ryan would get the fifth spot. Bill would get the sixth spot. Mal would get seven. Bill sneaking into the playoffs is just, would be hilarious. Because of your fucking rules. You know what? That's better for content if Bill's in the playoffs. So. Well, so with that said,

I'll sit this one out. I also tempted the fantasy gods because I was in first place and I kind of clinched to, I absolutely already clinched the first round by. and I would have to cut a good player off my bench to activate Darren Waller off my IR to put him a tight end. And I was kind of like, fuck it. Maybe I'll just beat DK in fantasy this week without a tight end.

That'd be funny. And I was like, I don't want to cut any of these players. I'm getting a first round buy. Does it really matter if you come in first or second place if you get the buy? Does anyone remember who came in first in the regular season of your fantasy league? Like, no.

Some people remember who won the league. No one remembers who came in first. Who cares? Don't cut a good player. And then the game started. And I was like, man, I really wish I had like playing all my players this week. Well, now you might get the two seats.

It wouldn't have mattered, but I just think I tempted the fantasy gods. It's hubris. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't want to do that. So I'm a little worried about that. Flew too close to the sun on that one, High Fitz. Everyone I was thinking about cutting scored 20 points. So I know why I did it.

But regardless, I'm a little worried. So it might not come in first. But here's the, so yeah, that's the big ringer fantasy league update. But now we have to go to fantasy court. Definitely don't tell anyone about this thing that you're doing. I don't really want to be handcuffed. The definition of an object. is a material thing that can be seen and touched.

The video is just, just really makes that hit. So this fantasy court is from Danny. Is this you? No. I'm not doing a debone. Okay. Well, Danny writes,

I'm the commissioner of my work league. 10 teams, six teams out of 10 make the playoffs, top four by record, next two by point. scored and we have a really elaborate punishment system where everyone before the season drafted bespoke punishment for who exact like what your punishment would do if you came in last place so instead of everyone agreeing on the same thing everyone self-selected a

punishment themselves and they could draft it in the middle of the draft whenever they wanted and so this was for last place and I have been playing fantasy quite a long time. I've played fantasy a lot. I'm in like 10 leagues. And in literally every single league I'm in, the punishment is who comes in last in the toilet bowl. So all the non-playoff teams are filtered into a tournament and the loser the tournament's last place. Yeah. And only recently have I learned a lot of people just kind of say the losers whoever came in last place by standings. And I really, really, really need to figure out who's what last place actually means for this giant work league we're doing. And so I just kind of wanted

Craig and D.K.'s, you know, unbiased thoughts on what last place is in the league that I mean. This email is from who? Danny. Danny. What did Danny have for breakfast? Did they say? Danny skip breakfast and then had a rice and salmon lunch around 1130. Okay. We, I would check to see if you decided that, before the season began, what the losers? bracket situation would be because I believe that it is likely that you decided that there was a toilet bowl. I think toilet

bowl, right? Someone asked me this. Sal was this all happened. Sal was making fun of you. It was like, it's regular play standings. And I'm like, no, it's not. Why would you incentivize everyone? Okay, I'm not crazy, right? Sal made fun of me. It's not standings. Why would you tell people, yeah, after week 14, don't check the league anymore.

The whole point is you have to do the final few weeks. I believe strongly that you should create a toilet bowl type of format. The loser's bracket is way more fun. Yeah. I totally, okay, I thought I was a little worried you guys were going to disagree. I'm like,

I thought it would just be whoever's in last at the end of week 14? That's what he was saying. No. Losers bracket is way more dramatic. It's way more fun. It incentivizes people at the end at the bottom of the league to still try and focus on waivers. Hypothetically, this league was created for making content. Oh, I, I agree.

So with that said, I'm wondering about one tweak. Instead of the toilet bowl, which I think it's just a week 15, they face each other and then a two-week thing. Should it just be the bottom four teams, just the cumulative score of the playout, like week 15, 16, 17? The toilet bowl rumble. Yeah, whoever scores the fewest of those three teams gets last. That would be a tweak. Of the four, you mean? Yeah, so the teams that don't make the playoffs.

Whoever scores the least points of all of them over a three-week period, kind of inarguably, your last. Yeah, we could do that or head-to-head matchup. The head-to-head matchup is kind of funny because then, like, you have a championship toilet bowl matchup and it's like, you know, you can tease that out a little bit more. Okay. It's like Sean versus me. Who's,

isn't Sean's punishment that he has to wear a headband? Oh, with that said, let me go through the punishment again. Okay, we're sticking with the toilet bowl. I was worried that you guys would disagree because I was getting gas. I love the toilet bowl.

I do it in all my leagues. Okay, good. We're sticking with that. We're sticking with what's in this week. So this was out of complaint. I think we said that before the year. We did. We could go back and find a text where we said the toilet bowl is happening.

Okay. Good. We're sticking with what we agreed on before the season. So with that said, the punishments, the reminders, things we don't have to do. D.K. had to do eyebrows slits like vanilla ice, but has clinched the playoffs. Hell yeah. Because I was hosting the YouTube live thing.

Just why are we reading? Just read the bottom six, the people who aren't clinched. So Bill, if he comes in last place, we'll have to wear a jersey of the winners choosing on a podcast for the entire time, which is dangerous. Mallory, if she comes in last, we'll have to call a person of each team's choosing on their birthday in 2026. I mean, that's just sweet.

That's just nice. So like, we get, I can be like, hey, you have to call my mom on her birthday and Mallory would have to call her. Craig. Oh my God. If Mallor had to call Skippy,

that'd be the best. I'm just going to have Mal have to call like, like my doctor's office schedule an appointment, something I don't want to do. That's really funny. Yeah, that actually is way better. You have to do errand.

One phone related errand for Mal, How is your AI agent? That's actually so much better. She's my temporary claim. Yeah. Craig drafted no coffee for a week. DeK. I think executive privilege.

We are tweaking this to no matcha for a week. Oh. No macho. I'll switch to coffee. I'll switch to coffee. I'll switch to coffee. Always done no coffee for a week. Yeah.

That's why it's genius. You guys shouldn't have allowed that to be in the pool. He should have to drink coffee for a week. He has to drink coffee for a week. He's a fucking guy that drinks coffee on vacation. He likes it. I'll have a little cappuccino. We'll tweet, Craigs.

Chris's punishment is, I think we get to, we get to choose his phone background for a week. Or was it, no, I think it was phone case or phone background. Oh, was case in background. Yeah, case and background for a week. We got to do case. Van, Van Lathen, the winner gets to post from his account on Twitter once a week for a month. Rage bait.

Yeah, but the most controversial tweets imaginable. And then Sean, yeah, fantasy has to wear a headband on an attire pod, but he's not allowed to address it. I don't know why, but I want that one so bad. Like, Sean, this- Not allowed to say anything. Because, look, you realize that there's a small chance that this happens, like, in the first episode where the big pictures on Netflix or something. And he's, like, interviewing word or hearts off. So, like, the Venn diagram of people that, like, know about this from watching the fantasy draft versus people who are watching his stuff. Sean's going to be talking to like Chloe Zhao about Hamnet wearing a headband.

It's also the timing. It's right during Oscars season as when he comes last. It's so good. I really want that one to happen. He's like going over the BAFTA and what it means for the Oscars. Right now, Sean is in second to last. I know. Sean is second lowest points.

Yeah, Van is in a tough spot. But Van wants to lose. Van wants people to tweet for him. I know. He's like, he wants all the smoke. It's so. good. So yeah, okay, toilet ball upcoming. I will say, though, even though it was

my idea to do this points wildcard situation, I will be bitching if I am the 5C by record and don't make the fucking playoffs. I will be upset. Who are you going to bitch too? I don't know, but I will be bitching. Look at the mirror, pal. Like pointing at yourself in the mirror? I need to make it known. Have you guys seen those phone cases? This is what we should do for Chris Ryan. Have you seen those

phone cases that look like an old, like 90s phone. It's like giant. It's like a foot tall. And the whole point of it is to make you look at your phone less because it's so comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're heavy. They're like, they're like, metal. Yeah. That's good. And Chris comes back and he's like, yeah, I'd stop using my phone. And I'm like, I remember the 90s. Yeah. It's just like happier. I just like happy that in, but like he can't put in his pocket for a week. So good. That's I, that is elite. Yeah. Email us at ringer fancy football at gmail.com. That's a good case idea. Uh, Yeah, jersey ideas for Bill.

And then, yeah, I cut headband. We get to buy Sean's headband. We got to figure what that headband is too. So we'll see. Okay. Sean's probably, he's going to be sweating out these last couple of weeks, man. That's what the toilet bowl is amazing.

Imagine if it's like Chris Ryan and Sean fighting over whether one of them has to wear a headband or have a 1987 phone case. Okay. That's so fucking funny. That's so good. All right. This episode is brought to you by America. American Eagle, gift, gift, hooray. Give great jeans this holiday season with American Eagle.

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Jeans were on sale. It's phenomenal. Yeah. Looking good for your Christmas parties, family gatherings. Yeah. Original straight. I love getting some new clothes for the holiday season. It was great. Yeah. It's awesome. Nothing feels better. All right. Couple email.

We can just do an email. Wait, did you see, do you see these two phone cases I texted the group? Brick. Look at the brick one. It's so big. It's so big. We'll put it on Instagram. I want that. I kind of want that. I kind of want that.

I'm not kidding. Oh, that's so funny. It's like Zach Morris over here. Oh, God. That's for my... Like, imagine trying to go on a walk with that thing. You can't. You like...

That is incredible. What if we put his phone, like, connected it to, like, a shake weight type of situation? Oh, we make our own case? Yeah. Someone did that. That's what I was talking about. Someone made, like, a case out of metal because they wanted to make their case like 14 pounds. Attach it to a fucking cinder block.

Because they have the pickups, you know. He has to take a cinderblock wherever he goes. I want to, what if we attach it to like a pool noodle? Yeah, I like that. Then what? Checkmate, Chris. Now what? He's just walking around the fucking pool noodle.

He's like, I'm just not having a phone this week. He's got to like put the pool noodle in his car somehow. He has to bring it with him. That's the key thing here. I mean, it's his phone, right? If he doesn't want to, I guess he doesn't have to. But he's going to have to figure out how to put a pool noodle. It would be funny to get a thing.

of concrete and like pour it and put the phone case in the concrete and then you just slip the phone in. So he physically literally cannot pick it up. Like the jello trick on on the office put his phone in jello. That's absolutely funny. I just want the headband is so good. There's this a lot of good options here. Mallory coming last would like on first at first blush Craig like the headband the headband thing sounds dumb to me like I'm like oh that's whatever I'll wear a headband. I can't wait. I describe exactly what he has to do. I'm like, oh, Oh my God. It's like his very busy season is the best part.

He's like sitting down with Ryan Coogler and he's a fucking headband. I just think that would be so good. He probably wouldn't do it for a director. I know. He's going to refuse. Yeah. Oh my God. All right.

Okay. For emails here, I'll read one from this email was from not a hyena. Okay. Oh. Seems like something in a hyena. kind of did the same bit here twice, kind of ruined it, but this person kind of wrote in kind of joking about being a hyena. Okay. It was a bunch of hyena facts.

We actually, because we were kind of shit talking hyenas. Yeah. Oh, right. And they wrote in and they had a bunch of facts about hyenas. And it's pretty crazy that Jaws can chew through bone. And I was kind of reading. I'm like, oh, wow, matriarchal, that's pretty cool. Social hierarchy.

I'm like, oh, this is cool. They can run really fast. And then this sentence just stopped me in my tracks. And they, they were like, yeah, you know, they're like, oh, yeah, the laughing. It's like famous complex communication system, you know, all these facts. They can run up to eight miles. The calls can go 10 miles. And then there's a sentence,

female hyenas have a pseudo penis because their clit can be erected up to seven inches. Did you just say clit? Clit. Wait, sorry. Say that. Did you call a hyenas?

You said you were pointing out a hyenas clit? Female hyenas, this sentence was in the email. Female hyenas have a pseudo penis because their clit can be erected up to seven inches. Can we not say clit? What should he have said? A clitoris or something.

I don't know. D.K. says, who's the biggest boss like all the time? I'm reading an email. It's weird to shorten it to clit. Well, they did it.

So, oh, like me saying clitoris would be fucking less weird. It is weird. It is better. We're talking like about the animal kingdom now. So anyway, I was like,

well, there's no way that that is true. I am not going to just take the word of this random emailer who made a fake Gmail called not a hyena. You Googled it. Hyena clip. So I looked into it. Um,

I looked into it. Well, I found the Wikipedia article for pseudopinus. Is the hyena the only one that has a pseudo penis or is that in the comment? No, it's not. So, Wikipedia, a pseudopinus is any structure found on an animal that while superficially appearing to be a penis is derived from a different developmental path. Mammals, all intact developmentally typical males have a penis. But in some species, the clitoris is in the females of the following species.

are sufficiently enlarged, what you say? Thank you for saying clitoris that time. Well, I'm just reading the Wikipedia. But they're sufficiently enlarged that it's termed a pseudop penis. And this is true in the spotted hyena, the juvenile fossa, elephants, binterong, lemurs, and spider monkeys. No. That's awesome. What's a binturong?

I think it's like a weird bear dog. How big, imagine how big a pseudon. Oh, my God. Look up a binterong. are the coolest looking animals I've ever seen. Yeah, they're kind of like a scary fucking red panda. They're like badgers. Oh, wow.

Oh, that's cool. Dude, imagine the size of an elephant's pseudoponis. It's fucking wild. And well, so these animals, I believe, are all matriarchal. So, so there actually is a real reason. Also, I think that developmentally, like, all those parts become, like, they don't, so wait, I'm just going to keep reading here. By the way, whoever's listening, the next trivia on Monday, all three of them should be animal penis length.

Yeah, that's pseudopinous if you can. Or is a penis. Are hyphids, are you saying that basically the pseudo penis gives these animals BDE? And that's why. But it's the women, to be clear. Right. But the female spotted. So it gets the animal kingdom is fascinating, man.

The female, the female spotted hyena urinates copulmonary. and gives birth through the pseudopinus. It pees out of the clitoris? And gives birth and has sex. It gives birth through their pseudop penis. So you know that scene in interstellar where the ships kind of have to align? Yeah.

I think that's kind of how it works. Docking. Yeah. Docking. Right. But as weird and gross as this is, it's kind of interesting because the reason, evolutionary,

It prevents males from mating without basically consent from women, from the females. So the mating preferences of the females are dominant. So they're matriarchal species that have this because it selects that the men can't just like have sex with any of the women. So there are matriarchal species and all these species that have this, the pseudopinids, they're all matriarchal and they dominate the males. And the males are subservient. Wow. that is fascinating so that was what I was doing this morning

I'm gonna spend the next like two hours researching binterongs not pseudopinuses binturongs because is a word that sounds like it is it is a pseudopinus a binturon yeah I can't believe that

PN give birth through that yeah I don't get that how do I buy it how do they an elephant wait you're talking about an elephant gives birth through the pseudopinus? That's what Wikipedia says. That can't be.

Just look at where does an elephant give birth through? What does it elephant? There's some of these. Gemini, come on Gemini. Come on, Gemini. Oh, Gemini has different thoughts. Yeah, there's no way. Yeah, no, Gemini doesn't agree.

Well, I'm glad we did our research on that. Anyway, when I asked for hyena facts. Wasn't what I had in mind. Shit, we really got some. That was awesome. Craig, did you see any animals giving birth when you went to Africa? In the wild? I don't believe I did, no.

Okay. Did you see a rhino? Just like Ace for a too. I saw a human man come out of the backside of a rhino. You say they showed the Danny, the, it's always sunny clip on the Manning cast, the Danny DeVito coming out of the couch, butt naked. They showed them.

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Danny DeVito couldn't believe it. He was actually just cackling. Oh, man. All right. We should probably get the fuck out of here. Okay.

Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you everyone for at us on the Rapped. Please share us on Instagram. Thank you to everyone who's listened to either 10 seconds of this or you're in the 100th percentile. Like, thank you to everyone.

It is just, it's awesome that we're on your rap. So thank you so much. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Ronick. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, Lord. Lord.

They used sticks. All right, little renegade love. Renegade. The jacket's up. I don't know the words. That's all I know. That was great when we were in Ireland and they sang that. Yeah, that was cool.

That was cool because they didn't boo it. Right. They won that game. Right. That was the best game. D.K. Metcalfe ever have on the Steelers. For sure. For sure.

One play. Yeah. They also have come sail away. That's a good song. Oh, is that them? And Mr. Robato. Right. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's a good one. Is that? Sticks? Yeah. I did not know that. I don't know anything about them. Sticks.

Okay, let's see there. They are American rock band formed in Chicago. 1972. I actually, I don't know the Sticks renegade Steelers origin. Do you know that, Hyphitz? I don't either. I don't either. I know the Territail origin.

You got to know the Steelers fan. You got to know this stuff. I know. I don't know. I feel like when. I didn't live in, I've never lived in Pittsburgh. I feel like that's kind of a renegade started for the Steelers. They played it in 2002 and the team did really well after the song played and they just kept playing it.

Oh, so it was just like the music supervisor of Heinzfield just played that and they were like, I feel like that's how all of the things go. All traditions are kind of like it happened once and it works. So we just never stopped. It's just a rally cap, but a song. Yes, though. Okay. Maybe they need a new song.

Yeah. Maybe we should try different songs. Everything comes to an end. At some point, yeah. I know. Like, Sweet Caroline, all the Boston people hate that now. Can't eat forks. We can't eat soups with forks.

That should be a punishment in the league next year. You have to eat soup with a fork. Isn't somebody have to do, Joe House has to do too cold Kansas soup if he gets less. Clinch the playoffs, though. Once again, he's kind of excited about that, I feel. He actively wanted it.

Yeah. He, like, took that 10th. Second round. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus in present in select states for Kansas, an affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and present in D.C., Kentucky, or Wyoming. Gambling problem, call 1-800-Gambler or visit RG-Hallhap.com.

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