The Ringer NFL Show - The Key Fantasy Players of 2022, As Told By ‘Superbad’

Episode Date: August 4, 2022

We break down who we think will be the key players of the 2022 fantasy football season, as explained by quotes from the movie ‘Superbad’. We finish the show by reading a listener email. Check out The Ringer’s Fantasy Football Draft Guide for rankings, tiers, sleepers, and more! Email us! [e-mail]. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hypefitz and I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Craig Horlebeck. Our draft guide is out. our fantasy football rankings at fantasyfootball.3.com. They're awesome. Today, we are doing the key players for the 2022 NFL season as explained by quotes from Superbad. Yeah, yeah. It's back, baby. If you remember from last year. The main characters, the key characters that will define this season. And so we are going to assign quotes from Superbad to explain the players who will explain this season. Nice. See what you did there. It's a bit of a stretch, but we're going to do

anyway. It's a huge stretch. And in advance, I know some people listen to our podcast with children. I guess it's like Mozart. Some people play Mozart to their kids if you want them to be smart and some people play our podcast to their children. If you want them to be funny and good at fantasy football.

Everybody wants their kids to be good at fantasy football. Superbad's rated R. So if you're like our beloved, you know, or Anna who sent us really nice email about how she listened to this with her daughter, turn it off. If you with your kids because we're going to say some raunchy stuff. Ranchy?

I mean, yeah, it's super bad. It's rated art. All right, with that wording. Mine are not PG. No, they're not PG-13 either. Okay. So, let's just get, who wants to bat first here? Craig? I'll start off here. This is my favorite comedy. Well, honestly, the reason we're doing this, Superbad's like your favorite movie, and it's your birthday, so happy birthday.

It is. This will be coming out the day after my birthday, but yes, it is my birthday as are recording it. So to kick things off here, I wanted to talk about, I've never had a dual threat QB on my team in fantasy. Oh. I've had guys like, you know, your Mahomes, your Herbert's, guys who can move a little bit, but I've never had a true dual threat quarterback. And I couldn't help but think of Fogel in the backseat of the cop car with Seth

Rogan and Bill Hader. And he goes, what's it like having a gun? And Seth Rogen goes, it's like having two cocks if one of your cocks could kill somebody. What's it like to have guns? It is awesome McLaughlin I mean it's mind-blown I haven't had one for long only a few months but I'll tell you

it's like having two cocks if one of your cocks could kill someone and that's me I'm asking you guys what's it like drafted a rushing quarterback it's like having a second cock wow I literally had the same quote but instead of the dual threat quarterback

I had it for like the tight ends like Travis Kelsey Mark Andrews Calvets. When you're freaking tight, when you sort the players by receiving yards and your tight end, among all players, it's like Devante Adams. And then like Travis Kelsey, your tight end is number two. It's like, what is that feeling? And everyone else got to deal with Cole Komet? It's like, man, it's like having two cocks. He goes, everybody should shoot a gun every one, at least a couple times. That's everybody should draft a Russian quarterback at least a couple times. You know what else is so funny randomly. He was like, can I shoot your gun? And they're like,

yeah, why not? Yeah, of course. Yeah, sure. Yeah, they're like the funniest version of cops ever. Right after they're trying to hit 0.08 in the breathalyzer. Beginners luck. But I do think, guys, this is the first year. I'm really, I'm interested in the rushing quarterback. I mean, the group is getting larger and larger.

It was kind of like Lamar Jackson, Kyler, Josh Allen. Now we're tossing in, obviously Jalen Hertz. Made a splash last year. We have Trey Lance now. But I wanted to ask, are you guys kind of more like, in the, I'm going to get kind of like a Kirk Cousins, Aaron Rogers type, and pair it with a lance because of the upside, or you just like, screw it, I'm going to spend the money on Lamar Jackson or Kyler Murray.

So I'm not in on Kyler this year. I'm out on the Cardinals, honestly. So I don't think I'll be getting Kyler. I think that the quarterbacks I'm interested in, again, with the caveat that it depends where you're getting them. I am curious with D.K.'s lists. My list of actual targets for me is like, I almost said Kirk Cousins. I would, I should have, like, flagellated myself.

for one of the words. But Lamar Jackson because I think Lamar, I mean, he scored zero rushing touchdowns last year. It was a bizarre year for the Ravens. I think the Ravens will be a lot better. And like they're running more. I was going to do the whole I was at camp thing, but I was at Ravens camp and Greg Roman. I asked them, there was like kids day

and I asked them to describe his offense. Is that way you were there? A kid. Yeah, exactly. Fuck you. But I was like, can you, how would you describe your offense to a child? And he was like medieval. Oh. I also like that Lamar put on like 10 pounds of muscle. He's just going right He looks ripped.

He actually does look big. Like, he's, he's kind of thick now. I was sharing the stat with you guys the other day. This is from the football outsider's almanac. The Ravens, last year, were the most injured team of any team this century, according to Wow. So, to be clear, that's the 20, like, of the last 20 years, not like 100 years, right? This century being the 21st.

Yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, basically everything fell apart. Obviously, Jackson ended up getting hurt. The offensive line was really banged up. and the running back group was completely annihilated. They basically ended up, like, throwing a whole bunch and more or less, not like totally abandoning their identity, but definitely changing quite a bit.

And I think that they're going to go back to kind of like what we saw in 2020, 2019. So I am also all over Lamar this year. I think he's just going to have a huge year if he can stay healthy. The place where I'm like into the running court, it's like when the receivers who are no longer like potentially specialing Alan Robinson, when those guys kind of end George Kittles off the board, I like Lamar. and then honestly, and then it's Jalen Hertz,

Trey Lance. And if I can't get one of those guys, Russ, you can kind of put like in that half combo. I'm in Denver right now. It's like you can decide if he's running. But honestly, I'll take the last quarterback of Kirk Cousins, Derrick R and Rogers, Russ, literally Dak, whoever's left, and I'll just pair them probably with Justin Fields. If I can't get Lamar, Jal, Jaylon or Jal.

Because Lance is now too high to do that. He's too inflated now, his ADP. Well, you still can. I probably still would pair both Jalen Hertz and Trey Lance with like Derek Carr cousins because like you don't have to pay very much and like, you know, they're 12th, but I think they'll probably be top 10 quarterbacks. Well, that's the thing. You might as well go for the rushing. Like if you could have two cocks, one of which is lethal, you might as well try to get the rushing if it's so easy to find a pocket

passer. If one of your cocks could kill somebody. Well, I was going to ask you, Hyphitz, because I know you've been on, you've been on the like, I'm going to take Kirk Cousins and Trey Lance. And if Trey Lance works out, great. If he's a flop, Kirk, who's solid. But would you rather do that? Right. But would you rather do that and waste two picks? Or would you rather just get Lamar who kind of has no chance of flopping. Honestly, flop in the context of the cock thing is like really such a phrase. Fraising. I think it depends on the draft.

It's such a cop out. But the reality is it's like if you have to take Lamar as the second quarterback off the board, sure. But if you're seeing like, you know, Josh Allen goes, Mahomes goes, Herbert goes, Kyler goes. And now it's like been 20 picks since Josh Allen went. Then I'm like, yeah, just give me Lamar. But because if you're looking around and there's like, okay, who's around

Lamar. Amon Ross St. Brown, Gabe Davis, Jerry Jude. I'm like, yeah, give me Lamar Jackson. If the guys I have to pass up for Lamar, like, Alan Robinson is like right around that line, you know, Breece Hall. Courtly Sutton. Yeah, that's where it gets harder for me. But that's the thing, it's like, I'm not some like all-knowing person. The point is everyone should know themselves where the line is that you're like, okay, this is the point where I want like the receiver tier, the running back tiers drop off, where I'm not like excited about. these players and that's when you want to go get Lamar. And if not, also, Jalen Hertz, you know, 20 picks later is also perfectly fine.

All right, D.K. Sticking. I'm going to stick with the cop car motif here. There's a line. This is like just a really random thing, but there's a line where Bill Hader's like quoting Yoda. He's like talking to Big Levin and the Yoda voice. And he goes, you familiar with Yoda from Attack of the Clones? Michael's here.

He's six months in. He's young, but the force is strong with this one. Learning you are, young petal. Thank you. That's Yoda. You're familiar with Yoda? From Attack of the Clones. We have a 245 at East 22.

Just like, that's what you think Yoda's from? Like, attack of the clones. And so that was just making me think of the fact that we're going to see a lot of superstar receivers in weird different uniforms. like it's not, but you're not associating these guys with the right teams, basically. Devante Adams is now a raider. Tyree Kill is now a dolphin. You got Marquis Brown in Arizona.

AJ Brown in Philly. Yeah, AJ Brown and Philly. That's a great one. Like, you familiar with Yoda from Attack of the Clubs? Like, you familiar with AJ Brown from the Eagles? Like, it's just weird to me. So I just wanted to talk a little bit about all these top tier receivers, not top tier. Like Marquis Brown isn't top tier.

Well, most of them are. The ones that got traded are all. really good. Yeah, I guess Marquis Brown's the only one is not top tier. He's still in our top 50s. He's the fourth best receiver. I mean, AJ Brown's in the 20s for us, and Tyrie Kill and Devonter are in the top 20. I guess because, like, we've talked about this

a couple times in the past, and it's always difficult to know exactly how to play it, because in the distant past, or at least before Stefan Diggs and who am I forgetting that basically went off interchanging teams? Top Hopkins to the Cardinals.

Right. Before those guys, basically it was like, it's a really bad thing if you switch teams like expect the production to go down dramatically blah blah blah um but then stephan diggs and down jr hapkins both kind of like myth busted that i guess because they're just elite players stephan did the most yards ever for a player on a new team right um so i think like the question is and obviously i think all of us have said that you downgrade devante a little bit you obviously are going to downgrade tyrie kill a little bit because he's going from Mahomes to Tua and that offense, like a run heavy offense.

And then with A.J. Brown, he's going to a run heavy offense. Also, he's going from, I would say that right now, Tannenhill is a better passer than Hertz. And so these look like downgrades. But is there a world where any of these guys actually do better than last year? I think that we've, not overcorrected, but we've certainly corrected from the lesson. Like, Stefan Diggs was going in the 50s, right? You know what I mean? And like, now DeVante Adams changes teams. And we're all like, well, he's still like a top, like, we haven't, I forget, we're at 15th. Like, that's low. A lot of people have them, Devante Adams is a top 10 player overall, first round pick. Like a first round pick. So,

like, part of me is like, have we over corrected here? And now we're, like, at the end of the day, sometimes I think a helpful exercise is, what if Devante and Tyrick are disappointing? We're just going to look back and be like, oh, they left Patrick Wilson, Leonard Rogers. Right. And we just expected them to be fine. Yeah, it's like, what is the simplest explanation for what could probably happen. And it's that, oh, they left their Hall of Fame quarterbacks and went to, you know, middle of the road quarterbacks. I think out of the four guys we mentioned, Devante, AJ Brown, Tyree Kill, and Marquise Brown.

I think Marquis Brown is the likeliest to actually kind of exceed expectations and no one's really discussing it. I think AJ Brown too. But they're, well, I guess, yeah, AJ and Marquis Brown. It just all depends on the volume, though, the passing offense for AJ Brown. Because if they go back to being like a really past heavy team, as we saw at the beginning of last year, then it's wheels up for AJ Brown, probably.

but I think with Marquis Brown, he's been a little bit disappointing throughout his career. He's not the talent that any of these other guys are in this list. So I think people are just kind of overlooking that. And then, of course, as High Fitz just said, like people are kind of down on the Cardinals in general.

Like, they just think they're going to be a bad team. No one really loves Cliff Kingsbury, I think, in terms of like the offense that he's designed. Are we overthinking that a little bit? Are we overthinking the fact that while they may not be a Super Bowl contender, like Kyler and James Connors, and Marquis Brown and DeAndre when he comes back.

I mean, there's still going to be an offense that puts up points and more importantly, racks up fantasy points. I mean, Kyler was like the number one quarterback in the league for the first eight weeks. What's really changed? I know DeAndre's out, but like... Their offensive line is getting older, so that's a concern. But if he...

Like, honestly, I think if Kyler can just stay healthy, it's going to have the potential to change the entire, I think, like, opinion of him. Like, there's been so much negative press about Kyler Murray, but none of it really has to do with... his production on the field? Well, not when he's healthy anyway. Yeah. So I could see Kyler end up falling to this kind of bottom of tier one of quarterbacks,

if you include Josh Allen in that big tier of the top five. And I wonder if there's the negative press about him, if you're drafting right now, if Kyler might end up kind of becoming a bit of a steal. He's the number one quarterback of fantasy before I got hurt. Yeah, and he runs a lot, by the way. So he can be a bad passer. He's still going to be getting points on the ground.

He's got two cocks. all right speaking to which okay speaking of which well I had that one as well let me look can I give you one yeah yeah I think the opening scene of this movie is like one of the best opening scenes I've ever seen him in the car and it's just it's nothing crazy the phone call so funny and they're on the phone and Seth is just talking about all the like he's like all right I finally found the porn site I'm going to subscribe to when I get to college and he goes through it Michael Sarah's like dude I

this is so weird man and he's like I'm not the weird one for liking porn you're the weird one for not liking porn you know there's one for fetishes like feet and pee pee and shit and stuff like that it's disgusting you're like an animal what I'm disgusting you're the weird one man don't make me feel weird

because I like porn you're the weird one for not liking porn I'm normal shit peeing on people that's normal and I just think about all the people trying to just force feed as Tony Pollard for the cowboys and I'm like I'm not the weird one for liking Ezekiel Elliott.

You're the weird one for liking Tony Pollard. I'm sorry the Cohen brothers don't direct your porn, dude. I know. He's like, I need a little production value, you know, like some plot. I need some carries, man, for Tony Pollard. If we're going to pick him, I need a little volume for this guy.

It's going to Zeke. Jerry Jones is the director here. It's not the Cohen brothers. No, but really, though. I just keep thinking like Zeke, like... Wait, so Zeke is porn in this analogy? Um, I don't want to think too much about it if I'm telling you the truth. Yeah, just kind of plow through it.

Yeah, well, so to speak. Frasing. But I think Zique, again, it's not the profile of like a running back you want to invest in, right? It's like, again, he's like, well, he's like an ancient 26. He's gotten a tons of carries. A metric shitload of carries. However, I think he played the second most snaps last year with the PCL injury in his knee. Again, 1500 yard pace last year before he got hurt. Like, I just, we had him. 40th and I was like, what am I doing? I'm just like, there's this echo chamber of people that are

wishcasting Tony Pollard and I'm like, this is not the world we live in. I'm sorry, like, there's a difference. And like, in the real world where people watch porn, Zeke Elliott is going to be top five in Garry's this year. In the real world where people watch porn. And he's going to be good. And like, I don't know. I really, yeah, you know what? Stop. You know what? Let me subscribe to my site. I love that. Everybody on the outside's like, no, yeah, I love Tony Pollard. They're secretly going home at night. Drafting Zee. The perfect 10? Maybe?

The perfect 10? It could be anything. All right, wait, that leads me to my other one. Just the brief. The next slide, he's like, when he's like, dude, you ever seen a vagina on its own? Not for me. Plus, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?

Not for me. Not for me. You know what I was thinking about? Alan Luzard. Dude, you ever seen Al-N-Lazard on his own? Not for me. Not for me. Not for me.

Damn, that one's really. good. I had another one for Luzard at the very end when Seth and Evan are like drunkenly going to sleep in the sleeping bags and they're having like their bromance time. He boops him on the nose. He goes, boop, boop. And he goes, I'm sorry

man. And Evan's like, don't be sorry. I should be sorry. I was being a dick. And he's like, listen, I don't want to live with Fogel. Oh, I didn't. No, don't be sorry. I should be sorry. I was being a dick. I was being a big dick to you. I don't know. Listen, Seth, I want you to know, I don't want to live with Fogel.

I don't want to live with him. And so I, I'm afraid to live with strangers. That to me is Devante Adams and Aaron Rogers at night. And it's like, I'm sorry, man. Devonty Adams, like, don't be sorry. Dude, I was being a dick. And Aaron Rogers is like, listen, Devante, I don't want to throw to Alan Lazzard. I'm afraid to throw to strangers. I can't do it. This is why he doesn't throw it a rookies. The fact that the Packers split up Rogers and Devante is like,

she got a breast reduction. It's like, dude, that's like slapping God in the face. I got to go get a glimpse of these warlocks. Actually, that was one of my clothes, too, if we want to just trans. Do you have anything else to add on Aaron Rogers this year or Alan Lazzard before we changed here? I think we covered it. Alan Lazzard is officially the Fogel of 2022. I don't want to live with him, but I don't want to be with a stranger.

That's all I have. Pretty good. The, all right, I got to catch a glimpse of these warlocks quote that Seth says. And then they like literally sprint towards the girl that's like walking down the street. And it's not just making them smaller. They completely reshape them. They make them more supple and symmetrical. I got to catch a glimpse of these warlocks.

Let's make a move. She's going around the court. Come on. That just reminds me of fans on Twitter, ogling, running back quads. I got to go get a good. of these warlocks just immediately started to think about AJ Dillon,

Najee Harris, Mike Davis, RIP from last year, Hyfitz. Yeah, just quads. I don't have a whole lot to add.

Quads are the boobs of fantasy football. I'm just sprinting down the street so I can get a glimpse of A.J. Dylan's quads. Maybe that's a fetish site that Seth can get in that package he's got.

I assume it is, yes. Does that make you feel more confident in a player if they are that ripped? Like when you see A. Dylan's leg. Does that change anything for you? I mean, no, but like,

like, we'll put it this way. I still think it's funny. Remember when we had that kind of like, oh, Zach Wilson's biceps and it's like, well, arm strength, you don't actually you're not using your bicep to throw. And it's like, you do use your legs to like move. Like a running back does need quads. Very much so. You see, Nick Chubb was like

squatting like 700 pounds. The freaking metal bar was like a U shape. That's not natural. How the hell did you do that? I literally the first thing I saw was like one of those like my the first thought I had when I saw that view of Nick Chubb was I didn't know you could get that many weights onto a rack.

They had to get a special rack with like extend or like it looked like he picked up the weight rack itself and was just lifting the rack. It looked like it was CGI. Yeah, it looked fake. It was it looked rubber like a movie prop. Yeah. There's no way. Is that actually like a metal bar?

I don't know what it's made. It can't be metal. Metal cannot be like that. It has to be like carbon plastic. of the laws of physics, I think. Anyways, yes, it does matter to me because, as I've said, you use your legs to run. How do you tackle a guy like this?

When you can do that, anything's possible. Like, on the list of, like, things you care about when drafting a player, like, how high is giant thighs? Like, if you're deciding between, like, AJ Dylan or Rashon Penny? Wait, should we make that a badge on the draft guide? Like, we got out of the fantasy football,

our fantasy football rankings. We have a little badge that's, like, we have a subject for, like, contract year. We have rookie. and we could just add like thigh guy. I can't you're saying thighs now instead of quads. They're thighs. Thigh guy or quad quad squad?

All right. Craig, you want to bat here? Yeah, so I think Naji Harris really has the chance to become really the 101 pick next year. Him and Jonathan Taylor really could become like the next generation of number one overall picks. I feel like he's a key cog in the 2022 season. And I couldn't help but think about him when I was watching Jonah Hill's character in Homeman. Meck talking to a teacher. So I'm going to play the clip right now.

I love this fucking mind, or this whole monologue. I joined his class because I thought to be cooking with a partner, but she's never here and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work. I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth. I know, but look at Evan. Okay? Just look at him.

Hey, don't keep me waiting much longer. I'm getting impatient up here. You know what I'm talking about. I'm embarrassing. I'm over here in my unit, isolated alone, eating my terrible taste food and I gotta look over at that. Looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire

life. And it's BS. She's my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry. I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know Homeack as a joke, no offense. It's just like everyone takes his class to get an A. It's bullshit. And I'm sorry. And it's not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here all by myself, cooking the

shitty food, no offense. And I just think that I don't ever need to cook tiramisu. When am I going to need to cook tiramisu? And I couldn't help it kind of twist it around. I'm going to change it so as if Naji is speaking to Mike Tomlin here. And he goes, I joined this league because I thought I'd be playing behind a real O line. No offense.

Look at Jonathan Taylor over there. I'm over here in my backfield, isolated alone, running for three yards of carry. And I'm going to check the Colt Statland every Sunday. And look at that. It looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my entire life. I run and catch passes. I'm like a single mother. Oh, my God.

He's like, all right, fine, fine. Enough of Rothesburg. Just pair up with Chubisky over there. And he's like, okay. I'll give NFL the other shot I'll give NFL another shot cool Who's Maroki in this analogy Maroki who is Maroki and

Evan their friendship to me is one of the sweetest parts of this whole movie Marokie is Michael Sarah's cooking partner Oh my God yeah the guy He's like tussling his hair He covers his face with the whiskers And then he just starts licking his wrists

He's like They make like an incredible tiramisu I'm never going to have to cook tiramisu me fucking chef no there's three weeks of fucking school left give me a break give me a fucking break I'm sorry for cursing can we play that every time

we curse too much on this show I'm sorry for cursing give me a fucking break there's three weeks before the season give me fucking break oh my god I love that monologue I wrote that down I had that as listed as one of them

but I have a second quote that I'm going to use for one of mine that I'll just change that but that's like the greatest who did you have it for I had that one for fantasy leagues with kickers and special teams and defense special teams. So that's basically, look.

He's like, look, we all know home back is a joke, no offense. And then he goes on, he's like, I don't want to sit here, cooking this shitty ass food, no offense. And he's just like, he kept saying, he's like, keep saying, I don't want to have anything against your profession, whatever. Like, that's me with like kickers and defense. I'm like, look, I don't care about you, no offense. your stupid little league

the other thing the other quote I think that actually fits this better because I have been trying to convince any league that I'm in to just like stop using kicker and defense and special teams is there's a like a montage some part during the or it's maybe it's just like an interstitial

like an interlude between scenes and Evan is just drilling he's just drilling holes he's like in shop class and he goes Seth's like, you're just drilling holes. And Evan goes, last two weeks, fuck it. And to me, that is the last two picks of a draft. I'm just like, I don't fucking care.

Just give me a defense and give me a kicker. I don't fucking, I'm never going to think about it. Hyvitz, you can attest to this. I like don't know anything. I'm a fantasy analyst by trade. I don't know anything about like fantasy kickers. I barely even know the kickers in the NFL. I am so pro kicker in defense.

I'm so pro-kicker. I used in my younger days, I was in. I'm so pro kicker now. Why? Just drilling holes. You're just drilling holes. What's the fundamental reason people don't want kickers? It's because they're like unpredictable, right?

No one knows that it predict. It's random. And you're embracing the chaos. Football is chaos. Football is insane. Football is not meant to be boiled down to your little freaking spreadsheets where you could just calculate like the most expected. That's not the point.

If these real ass professional people who put their whole lives into playing football have their professional fates of them, legacies determined by this small-ass guy who was to go out there to make a 25-yard kick and doinks it, then you know what? You do too. That's the point. Life is not meant to be predicted. Embrace the goddamn randomness. Look, we all know Homech is a joke. No offense. It's just that everyone takes this class, get an A, and it's bullshit. And I'm sorry, I'm not putting down your profession. It's just the way I feel. But it's just the way I feel. That's just me to kickers and to defense. I love that she like

Just considers it And it's like Seems like she's gonna yell at him And she's like All right you have a point Just go She's great She is the perfect distillation

Of a high school teacher Because when Fogel comes in And starts talking to him And she's like Fogel Get the hell out of here Or whatever she says She's like people not in this class leave

Fogol High school is such like You can just do whatever you want Kids are just running around Walking into classrooms There's like projects being done like an arts and crafts day. People were just running around

doing whatever the hell they want. When I was a senior high school in like the same situation so my high school basically like we was so sick of the seniors infecting the juniors of senioritis that they would like the seniors go do like an internship

or whatever for a month just to like stop them from poisoning the younger hardworking kids but I didn't go do the internship so instead I just hung around and my Spanish teacher literally let us do like a project because we were so distracting

to the younger kids in the class and so I actually my project was to investigate get all the local Hispanic cuisine. So on my lunch period, I would, for class, I would, instead of going to class, I would just go eat Mexican food. High school could be such a joke sometimes. The best was when it was like, oh, we're going to be working on this group project for the next

two weeks. And you're like, oh, sweet. Like, gather with your friends and, you know, build some stupid diorama. How old were you? You're building diorama? No, I guess not. Whatever it is, you know, some, like, report on the president or something like that. When I was a kid, I kept calling my diorama diorama.

diarrhea for like years was a huge problem. That's pretty cute. It's cute if you were like under seven. It's kind of weird if you were over seven. Yeah. That's a good point. House out is crazy that they have chemistry class in high school with like Bunsen burners and chemicals.

I took chemistry and had bunsen burners. That seems just insanely dangerous to me. It was pretty cool. You can't trust these kids with that kind of thing. Watching Master Shift Jr. And they let this eight year old girl like flambay food and I'm like the flame towers bigger than she is. I still remember we made ice cream in a Ziploc bag.

in chemistry. It was cool. Christian McCaffrey, I was thinking that, you know when Seth, where Emma Stone asked Seth that she can get him alcohol, and Seth thinks that means that she wants to have sex with him? Oh, yeah. And then just goes and goes on about how they're going to have sex. And then Michael Sarah's like, did it ever occur to you that she's using you

to get the alcohol? And she does not want your dick. And Seth is like, yes, of course, Evan. That's like the first thing that I thought of. Did you ever think that maybe she's just using you to get her alcohol? She doesn't want your dick. Yes. Of course I thought of that. That's like the thing that came to my mind.

Just listen. Yeah. I give that to Christian McCaffrey because I'm going to take him second and I'm just going to be like, I'm going to win my league. I'm going to go to the championship. Everyone else is done. And then everyone's going to be like, did it ever occur to you that Christian McAfrey is just going to get hurt in September and your team is going to be ruined?

And I'm like, yes, of course. That's like the first thing that I thought of. Oh, man. Oh, I love right after that scene or right before that when he's actually talking to her and her friend about getting the alcohol. And she's like, yeah, like if you get a. I'll call that'd be great. Here's a hundred bucks.

And you know, like, you scratch our back, we'll scratch yours. He goes, funny thing about my back jewels is it's located on my cock. Speaking of things that high school kids would say, like, it's the most accurate line of the entire movie. But I have to say, speaking of, well, firstly, should we touch on Christian McCaffrey? I think I've now officially decided that I no longer give a single fuck about his injury history and I am back in on the McCaffrey track. Yes.

Wow. Well, nice to have you back. I'm even, you know what I think? this is not a hot take, so this is not take perjeworthy, but like, if you wanted to take him number one overall, I got no problem with that. Yeah, totally fine. I mean, again, he's literally the best player

in points per game for fantasy, basically history. Here's the thing. You're basically, on one hand, how do you pass on that? A guy that if you have him, you basically have like a 50, 50 shot of getting the champion, like just having Christian.

They say you can't win your league in the first round, you can lose it. Christian McCaffrey, if he's healthy, will win your league in the first round. It's one of those players. The flip side is, not many players have ever just played like eight games in two years and come back to that. But I kind of buy what McCaffrey said about his body.

He's basically said, I was focused too much on like the wrong kinds of workouts and I was putting my body in like the wrong position to succeed. And Marshall Falk was like, dude, you don't have to like look ripped. And so Christian McAfrey told Josephine Anderson the other day, he is doing twice as much flexibility stuff like yoga. Tom Brady, baby. He's doing, he's on that Tom Brady life. Twice as much flexibility work.

That is the kind of stuff I do want to hear. That's interesting. Zach Wilson, get on that. Playability is more important than raw muscle. I had a quote for Chris McCaffrey, too, that has like, it's really fucking random. But I was thinking about it when one of the best scenes in the entire movie is when McLevin gets his McLevin driver's license, you know, and they're just like freaking out about the fact he just puts McLevin. And then, but my favorite line is Evan looks at it as goes, McLevin. What are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?

What are you, seal? What name? And I just imagine looking at Christian McCaffrey's idea and be like, what are you trying to be an Irish gospel singer? What are you trying to be an Irish church band? Get it? Christian McCraffrey. Oh, there it is.

Anyway. It was funny until you said get it. It was never funny, Hyfitz. Do you guys think Baker Mayfield is the best quarterback in McCaffrey's career? Well, I'm trying to remember the timeline of Cam. Cam was good. at least the first like when he went

that elite year right? I would I kind of think I can't remember like off top of my head timeline of that you think Teddy's better than Baker? I think we're

I think we're all like underrating how good Baker can be I don't think he's You know what I'm in on and this is kind of a ridiculous cop out but I believe it is Baker

is genuinely better player when everyone's doubting him like it actually hurt him to go number one I think Baker would have been much better if he had fell to like 20 and then just made that his jersey number and like was just like really angry forever i think that just being like this franchise savior and every believing in him

was almost bad like i think it's way better and also no one has any expectations anymore the last time he saw him he like couldn't move his freaking throwing arm so yeah i agree that he left the bad taste in his mouth so yeah if he's healthy probably is way better also everyone there is desperate they have nothing to lose which is kind of you know not the worst recipe for you know innovation yeah cam was starting to decline in 2017 and 18 which is mcalfre's first two years that's when he started to kind of like go from MVP to should this guy be a starter. I don't know. I think Baker is rookie season.

The first two years of Baker were not terrible. And I don't know. If this offensive line in Carolina get a little bit better and his team can be decent, I don't know. Maybe this could be the best situation McCaffrey's ever been in. McCaffrey's his 2019 season when he just went absolutely nuclear. Kyle Allen was the starter for 12 years. Yeah, but here's the thing.

A bad quarterback doesn't necessarily mean bad for fantasy. Like Christian McCaffrey in that season was playing 97% of snaps. And he just got dump off after dump off. Yeah, it was essentially a statistical anomaly that he was not on the field. Like you don't see anyone hitting 90%. Like the only person who might even hit 90% this year is probably Naji. And he'll probably play like slightly less. But like even just four years ago, we were seeing a bunch of running backs in the 80%,

which is still like a lot. That's still a real lot. But I don't think we're ever going to see McAfry be quite as good as he was. But it doesn't have to be to be incredible because the year that he was incredible, it was like the, if you took the number two running back and you added the number 20 running back into one player, he was like two cocks and one could kill you. It all comes down to two cocks.

Every single. That's the whole point. All right. Who wants to go next? Yeah, so Derek Henry is another, obviously, a huge factor in this season and you're on one side or you're on the other. You either care about the injury or you don't.

I couldn't help but think of when they're on the soccer field, Seth and Evan. And once again, like, I love in this high school, like kids are just running around everywhere. just breaking into every classroom. So, yeah, Seth just sprints out onto the field while they're playing soccer. Get out of here and we'll talk about this later.

What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. It's soccer. Fuck you, man. Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? It was like eight years ago, asshole.

People don't forget. Do you want to hear the best part? So to me, that's me with Derek Henry's broken foot, is that... People don't forget. Derek Henry runs by, and I go, hey, why did you go break your foot again? He goes, that was like eight months ago,

asshole and I go people don't forget. I am in the camp of I'm not forgetting that that foot injury and henceforth I'm good on Derek Henry. I think the problem is that you're out. Look, the argument for Derek Henry sees Derek Henry and there's no other person that's like ever played football quite like him and doubting him is generally made everybody that's ever doubted him. But that's exactly why I'm scared is because he is a one of one.

There has really never been a guy like him getting the load he's gotten with a foot injury. McCaffrey's different. They don't play the same style. they're not the same body type. That's why I'm okay with McCaffrey and not Henry. Henry had like, it's like a stress-related injury, which, you know, maybe because he had the biggest workload through half season of any running back ever, even though running backs don't even get carries anymore that much. Combined with, he was losing his explosiveness beforehand and they made up for,

like basically, like he was not having the 50 to 70, the 80, 97-yard runs, but he made up for it by just having more carries than any running backs ever had. But coming off a stress-related foot injury, I feel like they have to reduce it a little bit. But if they're not giving them this historic workload, what happens if he doesn't get the explosiveness back? That's kind of my concern. And, I mean, not to mention, he's, there's the 1500 touch club and running backs where if you usually, once you get over 1500 touches, things start to go south.

And he is like, you know, driving the train of like the style of running back that is not going to really age well. You know what I mean? Yes. Basically, I'm, the only thing. worse than missing Derek Henry and Derek Henry is just incredible again would be taking Derek Henry

and then its theory falls off. Like that's the only thing worse is being on the train a year too late. A washed up season for Derek Henry could look pretty scary to me. Yeah. If Dalvin Cook ends up being washed or McCaffrey seems over the hump like at least these guys are like catching

passes and like the way they play is a lot more. It's like a point guard in the NBA. Like Steph Curry's going to age well because of like the way he plays and the way they use him in the offense. If Derek Henry falls off a cliff, like, it's not like he's going to be able to, like, stay afloat with 50 or 60 catches. Yeah, he's just like running into the back of his offense. He could end up being like 20 carries for 60 yards every game guy. And that gets pretty scary pretty quickly, especially if the offense gets worse, which I think it will. Exactly correct,

Craig, is that when the cliff comes for Derek Henry, it might be precipitous. And that's a really good point. That part of the problem they had was, I think he had, like, the most eight-man boxes because they just didn't have to respect the Titans passing. And now they don't, like, like, no, A.J. Brown, like, Willie was gone, like, it's Robert Woods and Trail on Berks and it's like, I feel like defense is going to be like, yeah, we'll just stop Derek Henry for two yards of carry and like, oh, beat us Ryan Tanehill and I, I mean, I know.

Like, could this quietly be like a disaster of a season for Derek Henry? All right, well, I'm glad that we've talked about this for the fourth year in a row. So I'm excited from the be, people don't forget. Yeah, people don't forget. Well, I had the same quote for Juju Smith-Juster because it's like, it's just, people just fucking hate Juju because he's dancing on the Tick-T-T-T-T-O-G-T-T-T-T-O. And he's like,

go go fucking dance on the TikToks, Juju. He's like, that was eight years ago. People don't forget. And I'm like, look at this Chief's offense. I mean, it's kind of, Travis Kelsey's obviously like the number one guy in this offense, but then after that, I'm just looking around. I mean, Michael Hardman

has been there. He's a deep guy. Like, he's not a consistent all-around receiver. They brought him Marcus Valdes Scantling. Markes-Valdes-Gantling was maddeningly inconsistently when Aaron Rogers. Why should he be something more consistent with, you know, he already had Rogers and he was fine. Like he was not really startable. I don't see how going to this

offense would make it better. And then everyone's just obsessed with Sky Moore, who again, had surgery and he missed like, not surgery, sorry, but Sky Moore missed like all of these offseason activities, which are really important for a rookie, trying to come from the Mac, playing in Northern Illinois and like Eastern Michigan in these directional skills and beating up on Buffalo. And I was trying to like play in the AFC West against like Patrick Sertain and the Broncos. And Sky Moore's coming from the Mac misses the entire offseason activities with the hamstring. Today he leaves practice with hip. And I'm like, dude, this got like, he has a cool name, but like he's not practicing. He's a rookie. And meanwhile, Juju Smith-Shooster is sitting here.

People are kind of disregarding him because he got a small deal. What, one year, eight million bucks? He got a small deal because none of these coaches like him because he is on social media and dances. You buy that? Really? That's why he got a one-year contract? Well, he's been hurt. Like, let's be real. Like, Ju-Ju's been injured and he's certainly probably, like, not the all-around great receiver he was. He's probably just a really. good big slot. But like, that's fine. The Chiefs need that. He's 25 years old. And like all these these other Chiefs options are so underwhelming. I, I just feel like, you know, people are forgetting. You know what? I don't know, maybe people are forgetting. Okay, Juju's been. I just like

him in this offense a lot. I agree very much so about Juju. You know, he's kind of like scorned a lot of people in the fantasy world. But like, there's, to me, there's more question marks on the other three wide receivers than Juju. Juju's just going to be the number. two in the Chiefs offense. Like we have a rookie Marquez Valdezcald has never really done anything and McCle Harbin who's like a three year disappointment and then we're bringing in a 25 year old Juju Smith-Schuster who has had a 1400 yard year

in his career. And again, I think that Juju falling off after Antonio Brown was gone is relevant and also as you said the other day Craig like it's underrated how much Rothesberger kind of hurt Juju. But being the number two again with Kelsey is the number one, I just think that's underrated how much that could help Juju. So yeah, I'm on a juju Jiu. DK. Yo.

Hit us. You got another quote. All right. Yeah, I got a couple. Here's one. So throughout the movie, I didn't check this because I didn't want to go back and rewatch the whole movie, but I'm pretty sure every single intersection the cops drive through,

they just flip on their lights and just blaze right through the fucking red light. And basically what they're doing here is flaunting slash abusing their power in the face of the public good, which reminds me of coaches playing bad players and or playing the players that fantasy players do not want them.

Is it a Mike McCarthy thing or no? Mike McCarthy, but I was really thinking of Melvin Gordon and how he has potential to ruin Giovante Williams' season this year. Obviously, he has like this elite elite ceiling, right? Like if they do end up giving him the full, you know, the vast majority of the workload, then he's going to absolutely go up onkers.

He could end up being like Craig was saying with Najee, like a top two pick next year in fantasy. But I just can't, I just coaches just, they will, I feel like almost some coaches are almost just like fuck fantasy players, like fuck fantasy football. I'm going to put in Melvin Gordon at the goal line here just because I want to piss people off, just because I can. And that's just, that's Seth Rogen and, uh, and Bill Hader just fucking putting on

their sirens and plays and through intersections. It's like every single intersection they go through. It's a great bit. So I'm going to get on my high horse here and Sam, literally in Denver and I spoke to the Broncos coach Nate Hackett and I literally spoke to John Dante Williams today. Uh-huh. Oh, wow. Look at this.

After watching Broncos practice, you know what? one of my like absolute main takeaways for our purposes was. Melvin Gordon is like the running back here. Like it's like like I'm not like the running back. Obviously, Javons is really good. But like this is a split in my mind. And like every,

I just don't see anything about like, again, I always try to like avoid like being too confident about what, uh, an offense will be from a new coach like the situation, Nate Hackett. But I think that you're going to see in Denver just a pretty mix of like the Russell Wilson offense you've seen Seattle mixed with,

which a lot of rotations. and then mixed with, I mean, again, when Hackett was in Green Bay, like you had Aegee Dylan and Aaron Jones. And it's like obviously Rogers has input there in LaFleur does. But like I just see this as like, just like with Dallas,

people are wishcasting Tony Pollard under the role while forgetting that like, there's an actual hierarchy of coaches who make decisions that don't give a shit about what you want. Like Melvin Gordon is a professional running back who's like still good and solid and good at all this little unsexy things

that none of us give us. shit about. But like he is a reliable veteran and like put it this way. You know what like was really surprising to me? Like I truly like I didn't even know he could do that. Unfortunately I saw Tim Patrick get hurt today, which sucked. Yeah. And the first play the Broncos ran after Tim Patrick is.

I was very curious to see how they aligned with the first team offense because I was like, who is going to replace there? So I was like curious. They lined up wide out wide and they threw a quick bubble screen to that to the player. and I was like, who is that? It's like, it was Melvin Gordon lined up all the way out wide. Now, again, I'm not trying to be like,

oh, well, he's going to get passes out. Running back's lining up out wide, it's over. The point is, he is, he was first and all these reps ahead of Javante. They were splitting time on the first team, but I think Melvin Gordon's probably one of the single best values in the entire 2022 season coming on.

He is like the hardest person to draft because he might actually be the most boring running back in the league at this point. He's 29 years old. Like people are sick. of Melvin Gordon. The wishful thinking thing with Giovante is stronger than I think any running back in the top three rounds.

He is really kind of the only running back, if you look, who is legitimately in a timeshare that is going in the first two rounds of drafts. You could say Aaron Jones are like Diannre Swiftites, but those guys are like premier past catchers, and I don't view them the same way. Javante Williams is not catching like 70, 80 balls, which DeAndre Swift and Aaron Jones, that's very much in the realm of possibility with them. So like really, like going through the internet. intersection D.K's talking about. Proceed with caution if you're going after Javante Williams.

Javante and Melvin Gordon had the same number of carries last year. Exactly. And you know what? Melvin Gordon averaged more points per game. To be clear, Javante is great. And Javante is like probably the future of the running back of this team. I just think at least, look, it's always so hard, especially new quarterback Russ. Who knows November, December. It's, it's foolish to predict. But at least earlier in this season, I kind of think Melvin Gordon's going to be in the two-minute drill is my guess, because it's just like, I think, especially when they want to play at pace, I don't know,

I think Melvin Gordon being a veteran's probably going to help. But overall, we have them like, Melvin Gordon like 100th. There's a world where you just are, like, Chivante probably eventually overtakes him, but this world is just getting

the like 50% split time share running back for the Broncos, 100th. Also, like, it's smart that Denver's doing this. You know who has running backs by committees? Smart teams. I know. I was actually going to say that is,

is if I was a coach, I would 100% like platoon, because if you don't want to wear guys down, you don't want to get them hurt, you know? This team has Super Bowl aspirations and are good enough to go deep into the playoffs. They don't need to give Javante Williams 300 touches.

There's no point. Yeah, Craig, maybe you have some insight in this because you're a Steelers fan. Like, is it just like running backs getting into the flow of the game and stuff like that? Like, is that why they have such a strong belief in just playing the running backs every snap almost? I think Tomlin has always held the belief

that he likes not having to take a running back off the field. I think he likes to be able to have the choice to do whatever you want with him on all three downs. And they're a little bit old-fashioned. I mean, their offense doesn't run play action for Christ's sake. Like, they are a bit of an antiquated system over there, and it's just the way they run. And not many other teams are still doing that.

Well, that was a Rathusberger thing. Rathesberger was just too old to run play action. He's too hard a little run in period, like period. They haven't really run play action in, like, the last five years when Ben was still, you know, somewhat able-bodied. Just a young, just a young, spry, 33-year-old Ben and Rathesberger five years ago. Yeah.

But I think that's right about Javante. Yeah, I think I'm not saying like don't draft Javante. I'm just saying like realistically. If you can take Javante 30th or Melvin Gordon 100th, I'd probably rather have Mellon Gordon 100th. I don't know. I'm just, yeah, just to wrap this all up. Like I'm still going to be taking Javante because his ceiling is so high,

but it's one of the scarier picks, I would say. Why is the ceiling high? Yeah, how is it higher than like? Because he could, he could legit be the alternative to this and the argument against everything that we've just said with Melvin Gordon is Javante's clearly a better player and he's going to have the second year boost slash bump that we saw from like Jonathan Taylor. Like remember how Jonathan Taylor, like what he did over the second half of his rookie year was like, oh, he's really good.

Like we can see with the flashes of elite potential. But then all throughout the last preseason, they're like, oh, yeah, we're going to rotate backs, blah, blah, blah. And then they just ended up giving like Jonathan Taylor all the carries and he scored like 18 touchdown. or whatever. Like, I think there's a realistic world in which Javante just takes over. Like, Melvin Gordon went out, couldn't get anyone else to sign him for any money. He took a pretty small deal. You know, he's 29. He's just maybe not going to be as effective. And there's, like, that's like, the argument against everything that we just said with Melvin Gordon. Like, maybe Melvin Gordon is

actually just the backup now. And to be clear, it's totally possible you just said. My concern is the optimism has, like, just flooded Javentis out. Like, Javentis, you might have to take Javante in the top 20 if you want to get him. And I'm like, at that point, that's why it's scary. I mean, you're going to take him to the top 20. At some point, like, you're actually just taking him

at his ceiling and what if he doesn't hit the ceiling? And that's kind of where I'm at on him. It's like there's a little too much enthusiasm being baked into all this. So I don't know. But then again, I just, you know what I'm at? You know where I'm at?

It's like I'm old running backs. It's like when that girl's taking Mcloven up to bed. And she's like, I'm never been with an older guy. He's like, it's like way, way better. just give me Zeke and Melvin Gordon give me all the old guys did we just cock-block McLevman we shouldn't be blocking his cock

we should be guiding his cock This I have no This doesn't actually relate to any football thing But like the scene where they're in the bar And Bill Hater is talking about his ex-wife He's an Alzheimer I forgot I had totally forgotten about that scene

How he's just like actually That had to be improvised He'd be like I complimented her on her tote And then we went in the back room room and that whole I met my ex-wife

at a bar this bar yeah it was this bar this bar oh my god we had group sex at our wedding

well I didn't but I could hear it in the other room oh my god bill hater he's great you guys want to do a lightning round

just quotes some random shit well hold on I got one more Craig you have one more right yeah it's really quick

okay I'll do mine real quick and then you can hit yours and then we'll do a lightning round So there's a running bit throughout the movie where multiple different people believe that Evan looks like someone named Jimmy's brother.

Yeah. There's like a scene. So like the first scene is Seth gets hit by the car by the weirdo Joe La Trulio. I don't even know what his name is in the movie, but he's just like a hilarious actor that was in a bunch of cameos and stuff. And he's just like the weirdest fucking guy in this movie. And he's like they're like talking like Evan and Seth are game planning what they're going to do. And then all of a sudden,

Joe LaTrulyo's like, hey, do anyone ever tell you? Do you guys know a guy named Jimmy? You look like his brother. You do. He's like leaning over and stuff like in the weirdest way possible. And then later in the movie, Evan is at the party and he's like in the room or whatever. And everybody comes in and they're like, hey, who's this guy? And then they all think it's Jimmy's brother.

Craig, maybe you can play that part of the scene. Yeah, they make him sing. They try and get him to sing because he's got a beautiful voice. This is like the singer. The guy with the beautiful voice I was telling. you about. Anyways, that made me think about James Cook, whose brother is actually in the NFL, Dalvin Cook. What's the opposite of a stretch? Jimmy is James Cook's name? I don't know. Look, all this is a stretch hyphids. Let's be honest. No, he's saying it's not a stretch because

it's spot on. It's like two on the nose. It's like quite literally, that is Dalvin Cook's brother. You know the part where they reference the brother? I don't ever tell you look like Jimmy's brother? Yeah. Mine was just about, I want to talk about the 2022 quarterback. class, aka the shittiest quarterback class in a decade, and the Steelers deciding to draft a quarterback. So I wanted to talk about the line with Seth and Evan out on the soccer field saying, we could be that mistake.

You know when you hear a girl saying, like, oh, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't have fucked that guy. We could be that mistake. And it's the Steelers going, don't you, we could be the guys going, wow, we were so shit-faced last night at the draft. We should have drafted that QB.

We could be that mistake. That's good. I like that one. It's also just like the Bengals. That's just the Bengals' entire Super Bowl run. So the Titans get nine sacks and just like, oh my God, the Chiefs blow 18 points. It's like the Bengals are like, we could be that mistake. Pick it today, apparently.

According to Brooks Pryor, best quarterback in the field. Brooke prior. Brooke prior, excuse me. Shout up Brooke. Yeah. Did she, Brooke mentioned if Kenny Pickett was playing with the third team or the first team? Did not. It was just a simple little tweet there, but it made me feel.

a little bit better because it's been dark for Kenny. I feel like every episode we're going to have a Kenny Pickett update. It's almost like Kenny Pickett hasn't mastered the Steelers' defense in like three days. Yeah. I don't know what's up with that guy. I need to know if he's going double gloves or not. What's his glove situation in the NFL? I can ask Brooke.

Yeah. All right. I want to start one off for you. And I just thought about Daniel Jones and the Giants, like specifically Jason Garrett. When Daniel Sarah, who honestly kind of has Michael Jones, Michael Serra Energy. And Daniel Jones, like, Sarah's like, you've been holding me back for three years because of you, I'm going to college, a friendless virgin.

And I'm like, yeah, that's probably how Daniel Jones feels. You know what? You know what Lyde reminded me of Daniel Jones? And actually, this is perfect because Daniel Sarah and Daniel Jones actually do have some of the similar mannerisms. But when they're all like, the cops find Seth and Evan and they're like, have them laying out on the ground, Michael Sarah looks up and he just decides to like book it and run. And then Seth Rogen chases him. he's like, man up. All right, what happened?

Would you lose him? He's a freak. He's the fastest kid alive. This is not good. He's a fastest kid alive, my ass. Come on, what are we going to do? He's the fastest kid alive. He's the fastest kid alive.

That's the fastest kid alive. That's Daniel Jones taking off, like, in the open field. He's a freak. He's the fastest kid alive. I just picturing Daniel Jones falling down in the open field. God, that's got to be the funniest play of all time. The cops are just, They're so good in this movie.

I love when they break into the party, not break in. They crash the party and they're like, I assume you all have guns and crack. Be prepared to get fucked by the long harm of the law. The long dick of the law. Sorry. How could I mess that one up? Oh, man.

Speaking of dicks, Craig, you mentioned this like, I don't even know a month ago or something, and I was very perplexed as to why you would remember this, but you had mentioned that something, looked exactly like Seth Rogan, how Seth Rogan as a kid draws dicks. And then when I rewatch this movie, I was like, oh, I now get it. These dicks are very, like, distinctive. Oh, yes, it was the hopscotch. That's right. The hopscotch. The dick hopscotch. Yeah, for anybody who doesn't know, there was a kid's playing hopscotch and a giantly chalked drawn penis on the cement somewhere.

And they posted on Twitter. And Craig was like, this looks exactly like how Seth Rogan draws I was like, and I had no idea what he was talking about at the time, and I was like, wow, that is a very specific thing. The dig drawings in Superbad. The one that gets me is the dick in Tiananmen Square. Oh, yeah. They're very creative. I like how, the one line where he's like a big, vainy, triumphant bastard. That really got me. You know what foods are shaped like dick's the best kind? And then the principal found this lunchbox dick treasure trove. This has nothing to do with football. It's just funny.

Oh, my God. I texted you guys before the show that we needed to somehow incorporate the calm down, Greg, it's soccer. It's soccer. It's soccer. Fuck you, man. Just soccer catching strays.

That was real early on for Dave Franco. Yeah. Yeah, he was like literally a kid. I just want to, I just like, honestly, just Tom Brady. It's like, if you ever. Darren to his eyes. It's like the first time I heard the Beatles. Yeah. I will say I did I I I when the bucks were in the super was like COVID and I like interview what I interview is like a press conference. I asked Tom Brady a press conference question in Zoom and it was very surreal because it's like you know be professional around you know all these people interviewing you interviewing. But the reality is it's much more difficult for people that were like famous when you were a child like that's like the one thing I think most people who are interviewing people have in common. It's like if someone was famous when you were kid it just like it feels different. And so like I've how much time in my life have I spent. digesting content from Tom Brady

into his screen. And like, I just spoke at my screen and the Tom Brady just spoke back to me. And just for a second, I was like, wow, it's like hearing the Beatles. This is crazy, just staring right to his eyes. Oh, man. The scene where they show up to,

they finally get to the party after all the shenanigans, you know, and Evans, the girl that's interested in is already super wasted. So he has to go and hurry up and catch up and get drunk. And so he goes into the bathroom. I was thinking, I have no idea what the best, like, analogy of it is, but he like takes a drink of whatever it is, the vodka, and he just spits it

all over the mirror. I'm like, this is like drafting the all boring team. Like it just doesn't take. Like, forcing it down. Yeah, like, oh, God, damn feeling in the second round. Oh, it's good value, but I hate it. No, no, no, no. It's, it's the

shitty, the shitty vodka you get in high school is the bad tight ends you have to live with. That's what it's like, Erf, like, Flammie handles. Vladimir. Oh, my God. I never understood why Michael Sarah in that scene is in the bathroom and he's like he's like trying to choke down a beer

and he's like oh god he drinks with his buddies like all the time I don't know why he's like struggling to get this beer down. Wait we gotta stop doing the tiers as cars and we have to do them as liquor because like you know Travis Kelsey's like gray goose are honestly better than grey goose

and then like you know the bottom tier it's like that's Burnett's. Yeah totally Belveder is better than goose. Monarch. I think they're probably same tier. I don't know if it goes above that Shout out. No, it does. I'll tell you. Purity and Imperia. Those are the two best vodkas I've ever had. Shout out to anyone. Email me at ring your fancy football at gmail.com

if you've ever had like purity. Shout out purity vodka. It's the best thing I've ever tasted. Jeez. There was some video online. I think it was a BuzzFeed thing or you can find it on YouTube of like vodka experts tasting varying levels of quality of vodka blindfolded and a ton of them thought that all of the cheap name like cheap Kirkland vodka and your smearing off things. thought that was the expensive vodka and the gray goose. I think that that might be a commentary on them because like I remember MythBusters did this and MythBusters was doing a, honestly speaking of college, they were talking about like, can you just britter vodka enough until it's gray goose, like literally in a Brita filter.

And they went and they just had this vodka taste tester to vodka that had been ridded once, ridded twice, britted three times all the way through 12 and gray goose. And the guy literally got it perfectly, one through 12 and then goose. they basically was like, 12 is like close. 12 was really close. But that also seems like a lot of work. To me, vodka has like the narrowest, like a range of quality. Like the best and worst vodka to me, not a huge difference.

But I haven't had your fancy ones. I don't drink vodka. So I can't help. Whiskey for me. And the good stuff is much better. So there. All right. Are there other quotes you guys have?

I mean, we have a lot more quotes in this movie. I mean, we got to do a shout out to the Glansbergs. I mean, this has been a running bit. on our podcast to make me sit by myself like I'm Stephen fucking Glansberg. I tried to shoehorn that end, but we do a whole Stephen Glansberg episode every year, so no need.

I couldn't figure out what player I wanted to put with this, but I just so badly wanted to be like, I don't understand why you were smoking cigs with those cops. And it's like, because I fucking rule. I don't understand why you were smoking singer. That's it. The whole fucking McLevin cop relationship,

bromance is so funny. Dude, when they see the homeless guy bus and he goes, McMuffin! McMuffin! You know, one line that we used to say, and I think it was like post-high school, whenever this movie came out, I can't remember. And you know how they shoot the cop car and they set it on fire and then McLevin like

shoots the gun? Actually, I can't remember exactly when they happens, but Bill Hader goes like, we won, we won! It's when they tossed the Molotov cocktail at the car. Yeah, like, we used to say that all the time. we won. Like for no reason. The exact opposite of line that I don't even think I'd ever noticed before,

but was so, like just killed me this time. It was when Michael Serra was hooking up with the girl in the bedroom. And she's like, I'm so wet. And he's like, they said that would happen in health class. He's so fucking uncomfortable. I love when she's trying to get him to take shots. And he's like, cheering to respecting women.

And she's like, whatever. I don't care. But honestly, I was just thinking about like when McCaffrey and Derek Henry get hurt. I'm like, yeah, they said that would happen. They said that would happen in health class. I said that would happen. Oh, my goodness. Okay.

We didn't even do the McLevin driver's lane. Anything else? Any other McLeavening around? You wanted to read an email? Let's just read. Let's get to the emails. Yeah. All right.

So it's Craig's birthday. Craig on our last episode asked to call for it. He's Craig, you're doing something this weekend with your friends for your birthday? Yes, and I got a lot of good responses about drinking games and stuff like that. Here's the problem. So you wanted to do. drink you ask people to email in ringerfinity football gmail.com and send drinking games. Here's what I've learned.

My God, all your drinking games are so, have so many rules, so complicated. Craig will appreciate going through them. And actually, I have to say, though, reading the rules of various drinking games was not great podcast content, but there was one that I thought was fantastic. I can't wait. So here's an email from Alex. Alex. Alex.

I won't read the entire thing, but the premise, it's battleship. beer pong. Oh, I did read this one. So it's like, you know the game Battleship where you have the two sides, you don't know, and you have to guess like F7, and it's like you have the regular ships and the battleships. And basically, it's like you set up the cups on your side. He has specific rules, but I feel like you can do this however you want. But you set up the cups and your side of the table and you pour, like, some of them are just, like, half them are just water cups. And then half, and then like some have beer. And then in a couple like your real money ships, you have like liquor, like a shot or like some. I'm out of liquor. And you just play battleship. Aircraft carrier. And you don't know who, like, which cups or which, but you have to say hit or miss. I thought that was brilliant. Yeah, it's super smart.

And you disguised them. You, you know, you have one team leave while you're, you know, creating your battlefield. And then you leave while the other team comes and places their ships. Yeah, fantastic idea, whoever thought that. You got to get a lot of red cups. And they warned me. They said, buy the extra large party back. Big weekend.

So Craig, Craig's throwing a big party. He's got his fake ID. Yeah, keep sending me, like, I got my fake ID. Keep sending me, um, drinking games, though. I appreciate everybody sending them. They're all great. How old are you? 28.

No, you're supposed to say old enough. Old enough. Old enough to party. And they're like, uh, okay. What's your first, what's your first name? And he's like, uh, my first name? Why do you need to know that? And he's like, I mean, we're the police.

I love when they're like talking to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, cashier and they're like, did they look like you or like me? She's like, they look like you. And he's like, okay, so Jewish. Jewish? He's like, that's weird. Not a typical crime of a Jew. And Bill Hayter's like, yeah, typically a docile group of people. God. I want to know how much of that just that movie was improvised with Hayer. I bet you all the haters. Dude, also like, where they're like, Mcloven, why would your name be McLeod? He's like, well, it's between that and Muhammad. It's like, why would it be between that Muhammad? He's like, Mohammed's the most commonly used name on earth. Read a book

And you landed on Mcloven Yeah, I was between that and Muhammad Why the fuck would it be Between that or Muhammad Why don't you pick a common name Like a normal person

Muhammad is the most commonly used name on earth Read a fucking book for once Fogel Have you ever actually met anyone named Muhammad? Have you actually ever met anyone named McLevin? Oh my God

Okay Hawaiian This was fantastic Thank you everyone Who's listened to this Absolutely ridiculous episode shout out super bad thank you DK

thank you Craig seriously thank you everyone who made it through this one thank you the guess who email us at ringer fantasy these eyes

these eyes I've seen a lot of things email us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com go to fantasyfurtle.com it's the singer should we put like do you think we could put

Quad Squad as a badge on the guide on the rankings we'll get that we'll get that cooking right now. We'll see if we can get it. Yeah. These eyes.

He sings like the whole song. You know what else got me? That girl was like, so what's Hawaii like? Oh yeah. And then at the end, when he's going into the cop car, she goes, we were going to go to Hawaii. All right. Goodbye, everyone.