The Ringer NFL Show - The Key Fantasy Players of 2022 (Part 2), As Told By ‘Step Brothers’

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

We are back to break down more players we think will define the 2022 season as explained using quotes from the movie ‘Step Brothers.' Check out The Ringer’s Fantasy Football Draft Guide for rankings, tiers, sleepers, and more! Email us! mailto:[e-mail]. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mac Jones is ripped. The Celtics may actually trade for Kevin Durant, and The Ringer has a new Boston show. I'm Brian Barrett, host of Off the Pike, the show covering all things Boston sports. I'll have shows multiple times a week covering your favorite teams

and with your favorite Ringer and local guests. Plus, maybe Bill will stop by to rant about the socks. Follow off the pike with me, Brian Barrett, now on Spotify. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyphids, and I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlebeck, and we are three guys who manage a football team. You look like a Little League team?

Fantasy league. Today we are doing the key players of the 2022 NFL season, as explained by quotes from stepbrothers. We're going to assign a quote to players this season that we think the quote will explain a player's situation this year. It's not complicated. You'll figure it out. We're definitely not going to be reaching on anything or, you know, they're all very, very applicable to fantasy football. Don't worry. You'll see.

Our only note before we dive in is if you usually listen to the show with your children or around your children, we probably recommend pausing and saving this for after bedtime or whenever you're not with your kids. Yeah. With that being said, I have a quick question before we get into this. Do you guys remember the ball sack on the drum set thing from the movie originally? Because I think I may have watched the unrated version on accident. I watched the unrated version too and that was stunning. I was a stunning moment. Will Ferrell just pulls his ball sack out and puts it on the drum. and I was like, I don't remember this. That is the only version I remember. Isn't that the R version? I don't know. I'm sort of asking.

Was it? I can't remember if it was in the regular movie or the unrated one. I watched the regular version and in the ball sack is in it. Maybe you watched a cleaned up like TNT version. Because I was like, good Lord. I do not remember this. It's a good sized nut sack. It's big.

I mean, yeah. Also, did you guys watch Game of Thrones this week? I did. Man, that's kind of where my brain went. And I was like, uh-oh. I got really nervous. Okay, we're going to just get ready to it. Again, a quote for players.

Who wants to kind of fire off all cylinders here? Who wants to get us going? I'll start. Come with the heat. Come with the heat. I couldn't help think, honestly, this whole movie just made me think of,

or at least the first half of the movie, just made me think of D.K. Metcalf and Tyler Lockett having to deal with a new quarterback. And that's like the two brothers having to deal with one another and living with each other. And I just imagine that the day that Russell Wilson

got traded to Denver, D.K. Metcalfe is sitting in the backseat, driving home with Pete Carroll driving the car and D.K. McCaff goes, I'm not calling Drew Locke, dad. Even if there's a fire! He better not get in my face, because I'll drop that motherfucker. I'm not going to call him dad. Brennan, you're 39 years old. I would not expect you to call him dad. Well, I'm not going to, ever.

Even if there's a fire! Robert better not get in my face. I'll drop that motherfucker Jesus Brennan I really love that he rides in the backseat when he refuses to get out when they get there and I love how Mary Steenbergin

who's so good in this movie goes You don't have to call him dad You're a grown man Also it's just the way he says Even if there's a fire Even if there's a fire Robert better notes to get in my face I will drop that motherfucker

Oh man I think when I started watching this movie. The first couple of scenes, I was like, oh, man, I'm not 100% sure this is going to, like, live up to my perception of it when I was watching this, whatever, how many years ago it was made? 15 years ago? How old is this? It's 08, so 14. Yeah. But I immediately abandoned that thought, like, stands the test of time. It's freaking hilarious. It's so quick, too. 97 minutes. I thought it was closer to two hours. They'd get in and out. So to speak. Do you think, wait, I had a question, No, but DK.

Yeah. About DK, I guess for DK as well. Is this the worst QB drop-off for a star wide receiver in a long time? Ooh, that's a good question. I'm sure it's up there. Yeah. Because especially considering D.K. McCaff and Russell Wilson were like a matchmate in heaven in terms of stylistically, D.K. McHaff is the perfect fit for a type of quarterback.

Like Wilson, who's just willing to huck it up to him downfield, has like pinpoint accuracy down the sideline. D.K. McCaff can just like own that little red line area down the sideline and just box a guy out and score touchdowns. And as I've said to Hyfitz many, many times, since he came into the league, he's like seventh among players in touchdowns over their first three seasons ever. So like, yes, it was a match bay in heaven for the quarterback and the receiver. Anything we see now is going to be a massive downgrade. And by the way, stylistically, it's going to be way different. Like he's going to be, they're going to ask him to do like short and intermediate stuff a bunch. This offense is a

fucking prison. I'm planning bullshit. This house is a fucking prison. Unplanted bullshit. In the galaxy of this sucks camel dicks. Pete, I'm only saying this because I love you. Fuck you. But is D.K. Mek-F almost kind of a value

because everyone was just afraid of the Russell Wilson downgrade? Also, to your point, I feel like the Patriots losing Tom Brady, but there was not really a receiver that mattered. That was the downgrade. But Tom Brady to Cam Button without a shoulder was pretty bad. But I'm curious about, I don't know, like, where do you guys have DK Metcalf? I feel like he's like pretty, if you can get him as like your second receiver, which is kind

of insane. Has it gone too far? Is he now underrated because people are, are overreacting to this quarterback change? I think so. I think there's a chance that he just continues to be a star. You know what I mean? Just because he's that good. And like, there's not a lot of other options in this offense.

It's Lockett and him, you know? And so, I don't know. I definitely think he could potentially still live up. We got him at wide receiver 17 and half PPR. I am the lowest on him, probably just because, you know, my Seahawks bias or whatever. But, you know,

the splits that we saw last year with Gino Smith starting, and I guess we're assuming Gino Smith is going to start this season. The splits from Gino and Wilson, you know, he was still scoring quite a bit of fantasy points. There was just a different style. Like he was just getting it. His A dot went down by a lot.

He also, but he also got more targets. That kind of deal, like there's going to be a little bit of give and take in terms of he's not going to have as many explosive plays, probably not as many touchdowns, but he probably could still have more catches this year, which is interesting.

Okay, so even though I was like the lowest on DK. McKeth at one point, and the lowest in DK at one point as well, but that's not relevant. But just being the lowest, no, that's a joke. On me? How dare you? How dare you?

Come on me, Kibosabe. They drop a lot of Kemosabes. They do. Both brothers, Brennan and Derek saying, and I'm like, oh, they are brothers. They must have said that grown up. Nice little touch though. Derek in this movie is unbelievable.

Adam Scott deserves an Oscar. I'm sure we'll have some quotes. Because again, I hadn't seen anchor, I had seen Step Brothers. Wait, wait, wait, wait, yeah. So this is my first time watching the movie. Can we just get the big picture? What did you think?

What were your thoughts? Yeah. I see why people are in love with it. To tell you the truth, it's probably just different. Like, I saw Talladega Nights when I was like 13. And it's certainly different watching that for the first time, like when you're like 27. it's yeah however it was I mean it it's unreal oh so you enjoyed it yeah it was it was amazing

it probably wasn't quite the same well part of the part of the reason you love classics like this too is because in Craig and I's case like obviously we we've been probably saying these quotes for the last 14 years that's the thing saying the quotes for the last 14 years and it becomes like a part of your growing up or whatever like I was watching this I remember watching it last night hopefully I'm not stepping on any of your guys's quotes here but like when he starts burying Dale in the backyard. He goes, what are you doing? He's like, I'm burying.

I'm burying you. My buddy, my buddy Adam used to say that to me just randomly all the time. Like, I'm burying you. You were dead. I saw you die. I was faking. I used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down. What are you doing?

I'm burying you. I'm alive. You're waking the neighbors. Shut up. I use ninja focus to slow down my heart rate. I'm burying you. I just love that the dirt coming out of the camera. This is your fault.

You did this. The other one, there are a couple lines in this killed me. But the one that I thought of is, oh my God, when this cool choir starts singing, Brennan has a man china. Brennan has a man china.

And then the mom's on the story, and she's like, and the particularly mean parents joined in. And then she pauses and the mom's like, and I have to admit, I joined it as well. It's a really good song. I love the old guy going,

Brennan has a manchina. He's like fist pumping. Finally, the audience and even some of the nastier parents started singing. Brennan has a manchina. And I have to admit for a little while, I sort of joined in as well. From that day on, I thought about that with Clyde Edwards-Aler for the Chiefs because everyone just hates Clyde now and everyone was into it.

Now everyone just hates Clyde. And I have to admit, I joined in as well. you're his father yeah but i'm starting to realize you know i think i i think we've gone too far Clyde is 23 and i kind of think we're making a huge mistake writing off Clyde over the year first round pick in a great offense younger than isaiah Pacheco i believe younger than the seventh round rookie everyone's concerned about yeah i also bit he's he's legally starting running back for the chiefs they're going back to this physical condensed offense that's going to be much more stylistically what Clyde does.

Again, the second he's like really good, we're being like, oh yeah, right, he had gallbladder surgery. That's why I look bad. The running back they brought in to compete with him is Ronald Jones is going to get cut in a week. Maybe. What are we afraid of? Probably.

Well, one of the guys got hurt. Someone got hurt today, and they put him on IR, and so that could mean Ronald Jones sneaks onto the roster. Was it McKinnon or was it was one of the other guys? As long as it wasn't Clyde, I don't really feel that worried. Yeah. Hi, Vince, how much do you think this new, this rumored new chief's offense, this more power style running attack is, do you buy in on that?

Are you like, hey, they have Patrick Mahomes. They're going to spread it out and it's not going to. Well, we're going to throw it, but it's just going back to more like West Coast roots. You know what I mean? I'm curious what you think, D.K., but I mean, at the end of the day, it's just, they kind of, just, there's an amazing story about Patrick Mahomes that he was, when they first drafted him, I think they had, who's that old Vikings coach? Brad Schilder's.

Remember the guy, my mom always said he looked like he worked at IBM. But Brad Schilder's his job for Mahomes's first year was basically to just one. watch film with him and learn about Mahomes and teach him stuff. And they're doing this play. I think Kevin Clark told me the story. And basically they're like, okay, option A, B, C, D. Who would you throw to on this play? And the answer was basically, you know, we'd think you'd do the post.

And Brad Schilder, and then Mahomes is like, well, I'd throw to that guy, like, basically pointing to Tyree Kill. And Brad Childress was like, you'd have to be able to throw 70 yards to make that. Oh shit, you can throw 70 yards. And like, basically, even like coaches who'd been in the NFL for decades. Mahomes expanded the imagination of what they could do in an offense with Tyree Kill. And they're just not going to do that anymore.

So they're coming back to more standard West Coast stuff, peppering the ball. And so they're going to just more quick passing, which they haven't really been practicing, because it was like a different movie, but just like Uncle Rico, like Mahomes could throw it over the hills. So I believe a lot that this offense will change,

but also that it'll still be really good. Because it's their bread and butter for Andy Reid. They probably don't go from being the, like, past happiest team in the NFL over the last few years to being like a super run heavy team. But it's all relative. Maybe they will run at a little bit higher rate. And that'll be good for Clyde Edwards-Aleron.

Plus, by the way, maybe he finally starts getting these goal line touches that we haven't seen since game one of his career. So I think that could be a big part of it too. But yes, I do. I agree like big picture. We're probably underrating Clyde Edwards-Alar just based on the fact that everyone's screaming at him from the crowd.

It's just the consummate post-type sleeper. and I joined in as well. He is the quintessential post type sleeper. So you're saying you can see Clyde. Nice, nice baby. It's a great song. It really is. It really is.

He lipsinked to Ice Ice Baby. Point being, I'm not saying reach for Clyde in like the top 30 or whatever, but it's even the top 50. But like it's one of those guys if you like how much. I mean, Craig before said the not even if there's a fire. Like I won't take Josh Jacobs, Antonio Gibson, Mal Sanders. Not even if there's a fire. Clyde is that right.

running back that's falling and falling in drafts that I'm like, oh, I might feel really stupid for not taking that guy. He's just so unpopular right now. You could get him for a great price, whether you're in an auction or in a snake. All right, D.K., give us a quote, player. So this is at the very beginning of the movie right after the doctor and the wife get married. What are their names? Robert and someone else? Shoot. Mary Steenberg is the actress. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Mom. I mean, she's called her mom. I don't know. Is it? Nancy? That sounds right, yes.

Anyways, Robert and Nancy get married. And then Dale is talking to his dad. He's like, dad, we're men, okay? That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open. We talk about pussy. We go on riverboat gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky.

That's what we do. And then Robert just looks at him and he goes, we literally have never done any of those things. Dad, we're men. Okay? That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open. We talk about pussy.

We're going riverboat gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky. That's what we do. And now that is all wrecked. We literally have never done any of those things. And that made me think of three players. Cam Acres, Travis E.T.N. And Gabe Dave, our beloved Gabe Dave.

All these guys, by the way, they're men. We were picking them very high in drafts. These are all like top 50 players, and they've never actually done any of the things that we're expecting them to do this year. So basically we're projecting a little bit. We're drafting guys to do things that they've never done before. So I don't know.

Is that like, are we too high on these guys? I guess is my question. Well, just to explain, that's really good. Because Cam Acres was, I mean, Craig was basically saying Kamek should be a borderline first-round pick last year. And the K-makers tour as ACL or sorry, Taurus ahead of the season. And Travis E-TN was this very hyped, Alvin Cameras, running back, going in a last year of the Jags, breaks his foot before the season. So we've, I mean, Travesty team, we've never seen play in the NFL.

Right. And Gabe Dave has been in, like, he's had like three or four big games. And let's be honest, it's all about that one playoff game, Chiefs, bills. Yeah, he scored four touchdowns and we were like, holy shit. And now we're like, well, we should. Now, to be fair, he didn't have that second role last year in the bills, but then he earned it. And he's coming into the season and clearly has the second receiver role. But you're right.

Like, that's a really good comparison. Just literally never done it. We go on Riverboat gambling trips. Make her own beef jerky. D.K., this is one of your best ones yet. This is why, this is like the anti-boring player. This is why you should draft boring players because usually boring players are guys who just produce every year

and they're not sexy. It's Keenan Allen. And you know what? Right, right. One of Cam Acres, Travis E.N, or Gabe Davis, is not going to work out. And you know who's not going to work out? People like Keenan Allen.

You know what the problem is, honestly, is Travis E.T.N. It's a really cool name. And if you're writing it out, you can abbreviate it to be like the E, the N, which is also cool? And everyone's like, oh, great receiver. And it's like, is he? Is Travis C-TN like an extra?

Is he? There's question marks. Like, he was utilized as a receiver in college. However, I think there's legitimate questions as to whether he's a good receiver. Like, if he has technical route running skill, if he's got good hands, like there was a play that was getting broken down from, you know, the preseason where he basically just, his hands technique catching a ball over his shoulder was really terrible. It's like,

Yeah, I saw that. Is that something that you can teach? I guess you probably can teach that, but like it's not easy to learn really quickly. And so are they just going, basically, in other words, are they just going to use them as like a dump off guy?

Or is he going to have more valuable routes, like downfield routes where, you know, you're breaking off coverage and taking, like an Echler or a Camara or something like that. He's also in this time. James Robinson and James Robinson is also coming off for torn Achilles.

And like James Robinson will probably be on like a kind of a pitch count, a snap count early in the season. But as we go on, James Robinson might have more and more of a role in this offense, which is kind of the opposite of how you usually try to project young running backs. Like usually young running backs kind of start having less and then earn more. But it might weirdly be the opposite. Travis Eton has like his big, there's a world where his biggest role is actually in September and goes down, which is odd.

Having said that he's really talented guy. I'm just, yeah, beef jerky. We've never done that. Craig, you got a quote. We've literally never done this. Yeah, I want to just toss out a quick one here. when they're interviewing with Seth Rogen to get a job.

Oh, I had this one too. And Seth Rogen goes, I'm looking to hire guys I don't mind hanging out with 12 hours a day. You guys seem like cool guys. Your hair is similar to mine. You're wearing tuxitos to the interview.

I get it. That's funny. To me, I watched the first episode of Hard Docs. And literally, the entirety of Dan Campbell's staff is just ex-players, which immediately made me thought

of him interviewing people. He's like, I like that. I just want to hang out with you for 12 hours a day. You look like me. Your hair is similar to mine. You guys seem like,

cool guys. I'm just looking to hire guys that don't mind hanging out with for like 12 hours a day. You guys seem like cool guys. You got hair similar to mine. You wear tuxitos to the interview. That's funny. It's ironic. I get that. You're kind of underplaying the whole formality of it. I think that's funny as hell. So let's do this. You know, you guys are hired. You're in, you know, unless you're like the weirdest guys ever and I don't see it. Great. Craig, I had the same one. My version of this stems from the very end of that scene when he goes, okay, now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up because he starts to realize they are fucking weirdos.

Okay, now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up. And I pictured Bill Belichick interviewing Matt Patricia and Joe Judge I have the same thing. It was all I could think about. As soon as in the job interview phase, they were like, we're going to interview as a pair. I was like, oh my God. They weren't fucking, he's like, okay, now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up.

Wait, the other one, I literally was, because like the Patriots have this weird thing where Matt Patricia and Joe Judge are co-coordinating this year. And I all like, honestly, all I could think about was the bunk bed scene. Like they were building the Patriots offense. And they go in and they're like, can we run the offense? And Bill Belich is just like, I do not give a fuck. And then like, they're building. Does your son have carpenter skills?

No. No, no. He doesn't know anything. No power drills, Dale. No RPO's Joe. Do I hear drill? I hear drill. I'm brushing my teeth.

That's not your tooth brush. I'm already done. They hammer it in and they got like the hockey stick cold. They got up like a two by four. And I just picture Matt Patricia look at the office. It's like we bought it at a store. Oh my God. That seems great.

Oh, yeah. If it's the I don't get, he goes, you're not hearing me. I don't give a, I'm not making myself clear. I don't give a fuck. I was going to say that's me. That's me every time you bring up PPR scoring and it's stupid. You're not hearing myself clear.

I don't give a fuck. He takes off his glasses. You're not, I'm not making myself clear. Yeah, that's me. Is there a single Patriots offensive player you actually

wanted your fantasy team this year? I know we've ranked them, but do you want any of them? I mean, the running backs, yeah, the running backs, but it's like tough even that,

you know. Remandre, I guess, but he kind of falls in like the Gabe Dave E. E.TN. like, we literally don't do any of those things.

Like, we have no idea. Yeah. So the one, the one change of, of the Patricia offense, whatever the hell is going to be, is that,

so James White himself, because James White, the running back for the Patriots retired, and James White noted that the new offense doesn't have the James White role and that Damian Harris and Romandre both are going to be capable of doing all three downs.

And then Ty Montgomery, like the Packers running back, receiver hybrid might end up being like the two-minute back. Still speculation, but I'll take James White, speculation over the James White role over anyone else's. And I thought that was interesting

because Damian Harris is kind of like we always say about Josh Jacobs, probably more capable of catching passes than he's been allowed to do. Maybe that was a Josh McDaniels thing more than a Bill Belichick thing. So weirdly, it makes it still difficult to project Damien Harris for a mandre. But if one of those dudes got hurt, the other one might be like insanely valuable. Yeah, I keep coming back to the, this has been, I think it's not even a report more. So is it's just sort of like people connecting dots.

Albert Brewer, I think even tweeted this the other day is like the Patriots have a history of trading their guys a year before. they're due for free agency, even if they're still really good contributors to the team, blah, blah, maybe they end up trading Harris, Damien Harris, to a team that has an injury at running back or just really struggling to find a good running back. Like, for instance, the chargers cannot seem to find a backup to Austin Eccler. You know, maybe that's something like that happens. And that's like where you get more clarity and more excitement about some of these guys. But you kind of have to, you know, have a leap of faith with either Ramandre or Damien Harris right now.

I think just because it could be a dreaded three-way committee if Ty Montgomery gets involved. And it's like, based on all the B reports right now, he's still pretty involved in practice. And they're still like utilizing him, you know? And so that's just, that would be if it's two, I'm fine with that. And I'm excited about both of them. If it's three, that's where you're like, okay, I don't want any part of this backfield. All right. D.K. got another quote?

I do. So this isn't necessarily a quote so much just as a sort of running bit in the show. there's a seeing eye dog that just fucking sucks at his jaw. They never come back to this. I was so confused. That was my, at the very beginning, there's a neighbor who's blind and he has a seeing eye dog.

And this dog just is like yanking on the guy and like barking and jumping off. It's completely misbehaved. Later in the show, he attacks Dale and just grabs his leg. And then like at the very, like later even like on in the movie that he's like, there's a brief second where he's like sleeping along. alongside Dale and Brennan, after they get done fighting all day or all night.

This terrible seeing eye dog really reminded me of Zach Wilson. And how we're kind of, like, we're relying, like, we're the blind people relying on this seeing eye dog to get us points for Elijah Moore and Garrett Wilson, maybe Breece Hall. But we just don't know if, if Zach Wilson can really, like, guide us, like, across the street, you know, like distribute the football. So Zach Wilson is going to lead us into fantasy traffic is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. It's just the worst seeing eye dog on earth.

I don't know why that entire situation exists, why the guy needs to be blind, why the dog needs to be there. It's just one of those like bits. They must have had something planned to come back around at the end and they just cut it because otherwise it's completely useless. It's like on the B sides of the movie. It's kind of like an anchor man. Yeah. how like they literally make the joke that the bear smells period blood

and then she ends up in a pit with the bear and they never make the joke and I'm like they must have thought of that. Oh yeah. He never came back. Did you know that there's a whole like movie of just all the B-roll they made from Anchorman?

That whole movie was just improvised as was like stepbrothers it seems. Yeah. So anyways, apologies if you know, you have a wonderful seeing eye dog But I, this one is not very good. Joe Flacco is, I mean, bad enough to be a journeyman quarterback. No one's really wanted.

And he's stepping in as their backup and we're like, oh, is that better? We're like, I don't know, pretty much the same. It's like, you know, it's like, that's like the ultimate indictment. Indubatively better. Like, we definitely want. We definitely want freaking Flacco start. What was that quote? Who was the Jets player who said, yeah, you know, Joe, you know, Zach and Joe, they're different, you know, Joe's ball, super catchable.

He could change. It was Garrett Wilson. Yeah. He said Joe Flacko. Pro's receiver-friendly balls. As opposed to Zach Wilson's defender-friendly balls. He's skipping the football to me. Like, come on.

It's fucking unbelievable. Speaking of which, the thing that killed, just a couple dumb things that killed me was when Will Ferrell's like, I'm really, really good. How good? I've been called the songbird of my generation by people who've heard me. That good.

It was unbelievable. Oh, my God. And I just honestly, I'm giving this to Kyle Pitts because Kyle Pitts, when he runs routes, it is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. Yeah, yeah. I increasingly, I just need Kyle Pitts on my teams this year. I feel like we always talk about second year receivers breaking out. Kyle Pitts is a giant receiver who plays tight end.

And I feel like we're somehow almost underrating maybe, and this is probably our, I too, joined in as well, but almost maybe underrating the Kyle Pitt stuff because again, we are in an age of hyperbole. I admit at least sometimes can be hyperbolic, but Kyle Pitts is the best tight end prospect ever and really, truly, truly does have the talent to be a Hall of Fame player. And if that is going to happen,

it will probably begin this season. And I'm kind of at the point where I move Travis Kelsey down in my ranks this week because I would rather have Kyle Pitts in the 30s than Travis Kelsey at the first or second round turn because you just kind of look at where's trending. It's like Kyle Pitts, it's Fergie and Jesus. He's a songbird of his generation.

It's very underrated that Kyle Pitts is one of two tight ends ever to have a thousand yards in their rookie season. It was Mike Ditka and now Kyle Pitts, correct? Yes, and shout out Mike Ditka because he did it like 60 years ago and there were 12 games. Literally 60 years before. And yeah, in 14 games.

And also, I think all of this, I think the reason why Kyle Pitts is not up there in round two or kind of sniffing Travis Kelsey Territories because he had one touchdown this year. That's all it is. Yeah. If he had six touchdowns, seven touchdowns last year, we'd think about him completely differently. That's why he is probably still somehow kind of a by-low.

He is one of the biggest positive regression candidates, I think, in the NFL, based on the amount of catches and yards he had and touchdowns. Jacobi Myers-esque. Yeah. And so, you know, I think there is a lot of question marks about the quarterback situation because going from Matt Ryan to whether it's Mariota or Ritter, we don't really know exactly how long either is going to play this year. but I don't know. I'm still kind of excited to see how this offense runs. They're going to do a lot of play action. Like they have reportedly been lining him up a little bit more inside so he can

line up against tight ends where, or sorry, against linebackers where you're getting more advantageous, you know, matchups because. No one can guard him. Yeah. It's the preseason, blah, blah,

but it confirms my belief so I don't care. He burned a quarterback in one-on-one on the outside. He's the tight end. The whole thing is supposed to be bigger than the quarterbacks. He's faster than many cornerbacks. He's incredible. This is a little hyperbolic though, Hi Fits. I mean, now that I'm like actually settled down from your take,

I don't know if I agree with you saying, I think Kelsey in like the late first, early second is not as, you'd rather have Pitts where he's going now. I think once again, your wishcasting, you like the idea of Kyle Pitts. He's so sexy. He's so young and cool. Travis Kelsey's been around forever.

He's going to be 33, 34, whatever he is. Travis Kelsey is going to have 1,500 yards and 12 touchdowns this year, and Kyle Pitts is not. I thought of that. The thing that keeps eating at me with Kelsey is that he's, like there's a world where they're playing him a little less. And it's, there's certainly resting him more.

And I don't know, again, part of me feels dumb because every time like the player situation changes, you can kind of adjust it wherever you want. Tyree Kill is gone. It's like, oh, well,

that means defenses will double. And we'll see less. No, they're going to feed the shit out of Travis Kelsey. I get that. I'm just saying there's wishcasting with all these guys. Elijah Moore's ranking to me sometimes looks insane. Like the way that people are wishcasting.

on all these second year receivers. What I'm saying is that Kyle Pitts is a league winning player because if Kyle Pitts, he doesn't even have to beat Kelsey. If he just joins that tier of like, yeah, this is a, this is not a top 10 tight end. This is a top 10 player in pass catcher, period, in the NFL. The same way Travis Kelsey is always on the top of the leaderboard with Devante and Justin Jefferson and like Kelsey's there.

If Kyle Pitts just joins that top 10 group, I mean, that's how you win a league is you don't pay top, like, 20 pick value, but you get a tight end that actually is worth that. Yeah. I'm into it. I'm into it. I love Kyle Pitts. We wanted to be a thing.

Songbird of his generation. My Kyle Pitts comp is, and by the way, we were talking about how, who's, who's Derek again? Adam Scott. Scott, yeah. He deserves an Oscar for his, you know who really deserves an Oscar is his wife.

The girl, the woman plays his wife. She is so fucking. funny in this movie. She's like secretly the scene sealer for every scene she's in. Oh, absolutely. Dion Waiters Award for sure. And again, I couldn't remember if this was in the original movie or the unrated movie, but there's a scene where she imagines Dale as a, what's a half man, half horse?

Oh, centaur. The centaur. She just has an orgasm just looking at him. Just speaking like Elvis. That is, that's me and Hyphitz with Kyle Pitts this year. He's the unicorn. He's the. centaur of the fantasy world.

And we just love them. I have a quote that kind of is in line with wishcasting. Well, before we do that, tackle millions and prizes all football season long in Fandall Fantasy Contest. If you're new to fantasy, there is no better time to get in on the action because right now new customers get a free single game entry when you sign up for Fandall. Single game contest are a great way to get in on the action for the week's biggest matchups with huge cash prizes up for grabs.

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Bonus is issued as non-withdrawable site credit that expires after 30 days. Quick and easy disclaimer there. Fandle is kind to us. Just the one sentence. It's just one sentence. So yeah, speaking of wishcasting, this one's much more baseless because this guy's a rookie and isn't the greatest prospect of all time. In fact, he's the opposite. Isaiah Pacheco on the Chiefs.

Yeah. Both the Chiefs and the media love this man, the seventh rounder, who I still think might get no snaps this year. But I couldn't help but think of when Brennan is in therapy with Denise. And he goes, I love you. She goes, you don't know me. And he's like, I love you so much. And she's like, thank you. And I'll take that as a feeling of comfortability.

He's like, it's more than comfortability. I fucking love you. Do you want to talk about some of those feelings? I love you. Obviously, you don't know me. I love you so much. Thank you. And I will take that as a feeling that you have of comfortability with me.

It's more than comfortability. I mean, I fucking love you. Okay. I'm just thinking about our life together. I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. That is everybody, that is Isaiah Bacheco, that is the media with Isaiah Bichieco, that is the chiefs of Isaiah Bichieco, it's the media with every like random preseason guy who has like one good game.

I fucking love you. You don't know me. Because it's like, you came. It's like, yeah, I was worried about you. I have a legal obligation to be here. You said you were going to hurl yourself out of a helicopter. What does he say? Like, hurl yourself out of a helicopter.

Into shark infested waters. There's the best, the best, like, I literally like burst out laughing. at the very end of the movie when like it's they're all a family together everybody's made up and then they go to the dinner and it's just randomly it shows that Denise is at that dinner with them and I just like almost spit out my drink as I totally forgot about that oh that's good uh DK how many carries do you think Isaiah Pacheco gets this year what's the over under oh shit uh let's just be conservative and say 50 what do you think over under not enough to matter well who went on IR today hold on this just happened so it was Derek

The reason this is important is because that means that the other random running back on the Chiefs that people got excited about last year. In that case, yeah, Pacheco will probably have, he's irrelevant for like the Chiefs as a real football team, but I basically, he's a seventh round rookie. And at the end, like, I don't know. Yeah. So you don't know me. This is, this is great. This is actually a really important discussion because honestly, like obviously, we want a piece of the Chiefs offense. But I think Jerich McKinnon, it has come on strong the last couple of weeks.

see, I believe he missed parts of camp to an injury. And then he's come on and he's like been getting more starters reps. There's talk from Chief's training camp that, you know, he might actually be in front of Pacheco in terms of the real life, real game pecking order. We don't really know. He has to be. He has to be. Jerich McKinnon has been in the league for years.

Like, are you telling me that a seventh round rookie Isaiah Pacheco is going to be blocking for Patrick Mahomes on third and 10 against the charges when Cleo Mac comes around the edge? way. No fucking way. No fucking way. Is Isaiah Pacheco blocking. You're not buying the training camp pipe videos of him pass blocking? No.

There's no, like, look, maybe later that was rhetorical. Yeah. I would just would be stunned. I mean, can we just look up for a second? The chief schedule this year because I just want to hammer this point home because it makes me, Craig's on to say, it makes me so mad.

I fucking love you. I love you so much. I'm just thinking of our life together. It feels like I'm walking on a cloud. She used to play the Cardinals in week one. That's JJ Watt. The Chargers are in week two, Khalil Mack and Joey Bosa.

No. Yeah, we're not tossing Isaiah Pacheco into Shark-infested waters. They're just not doing it. No. Okay. D.K. got another quote? This one's quick, but there's a scene at the very beginning when Dale is talking to his dad and he's like,

suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower decides to come on to me. I'm looking good. I got that luscious V of hair going down to my chest or through my chest down to my ball fro. Chess pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes, oh my God, I've had the old bowl, but now I want the young calf,

and she grabs me by the weener, and then the dad just goes, shut the fuck up! And I just, for some reason, like, I immediately started thinking about how, like, some of the, you know, quote-unquote Twitter doctors, what's the term hyphids that they used?

J.K. Dobbins calls them fake-ass doctors. Yes. How the fake-ass doctors are probably thinking that and saying that to themselves when all of us are winging and complaining and whining about potential injuries to Saquorn Barkley and Christian McCaffrey this year. Shut the fuck up! Like, it's just, it's probably, it's not going to happen. Just stop whining about it and pick them in the top five. That's my point. Well, we move Christian McCaffrey up to our number one player

because we'll stop whinging. Yeah, the medical speculation that that has going on in fantasy communities today is just, it's too much. We cannot predict injuries. So, Like, let's just, it's almost like being, like accepting nihilism into your heart. Like, we're all going to die someday. I'm just going to pick Christian McCaffrey first. Well, except for one guy where I'm going to predict an injury. But not really. But speaking of Dobbins, I was thinking of J.K. Dobbins in this exercise because, you know,

Jay, he had the whole thing where he tore his ACL last year. It was very complicated an issue. And Ian Rappaport NFL network reported that J.K. Dobbins wasn't going to play in week one. And then J.K. Dobbins replied to Rappaport's report. said, like, not only did he say the fake-ass doctor thing, he also said, like, you don't understand the work that Jesus is doing with me. Jesus and I have been putting in the work on the biggest stage. And it just reminded me of when they're in the job interview. And it says here, your only references are your brother and Jesus Christ. The job interview scenes are so

good. Oh, it's so good. The, uh, the pan, the Pam Pan thing. That's like Romeo Dobbs this year. Is it, it's dubs or dubs? Are you saying pan? Oh, there's an N. P-A-M-N? Oh, I see, okay. Pam. Panned. With an M. There's a D on the end.

There's no D. It's Pam. It's like calm. Here, it's P. P-A-N-M. M. Two M. That was the confusion. No, there's just one M.

It dubs or D. Oh, there's a U? Oh, there's two M's. Nope, there's not two M's. that actress is in I think a lot of these early McKay movies I wonder if she knows

McKay somehow like if they're connected because I'm pretty sure she's in The Hangover or something like that I'll look it up but I remember seeing her

in a lot of those movies Hangover's not McKay but yeah okay sorry that generation of movies let me put that the hangover would be a good one

for one of these though I know that that movie is almost it's been so quoted that it's almost dead like you almost can't revive it's been buried alive at the hangover

because it's been so regurgitated. I mean, we did Anchorman. Anchorman is like the most quoted movie. The Hangover came out right when Facebook created pages. And like every single page on Facebook was like, it's not a man purse, it's a satchel.

Or like every single quote was its own page with like 100,000 followers. And it just killed it. Anchorman was before that. It is incredible how... Craig. Sorry to interrupt. Go ahead.

No, I wasn't going to talk about football. I was going to talk about how Facebook becoming a liking or something or becoming a fan of something just then became Instagram accounts. I know. Okay, so the actress that played Pan slash Pam,

Gillian Vigman, was in 40-year-old Virgin. She had a cameo in 40-old version, stepbrothers, and all three hangar-room movies. Oh. Show, show your mouth. Hello, Miss Lady.

Well, when he pops out behind her, I was literally thinking of like, this is running backs as like all of them like Aaron Jones Excuse me sure Who's that guy behind you That's good Is that an AJ Dillon just pops out

Running back Miss Lady Running back by committee now Yeah Zeke Elliott and it's like Who's that Who's that guy behind you Sitting right there It's like oh

It's Tony Pollard I have a couple other ones So you know when they go After the very contentious dinner Where Robert is falling in love with Derek They go up into their You know their little tree house Yeah

And they're hanging out and Brennan's like, you know what? I still hate you. But you've got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags. And Dale goes, yeah, I got it from the 70s, 80s, 90s. It's like masturbating in a time machine. I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags. Yeah, I got them from the 70s, 80s, and 90s.

It's like masturbating in a time machine. Have you ever heard the term, Rosturbation? Oh, have I heard of it? So this is when, for those who don't know, once you draft a team, you just stare there. You sit there and stare at it. You adjust your starting a lineup. You're trying to figure out the best. Like, this is, you're rosterating.

You're masturbating to your roster. And you look at the projections. You got a yada, yada, yada. In honor of the masturbating in a time machine, rosterating in the time machine, drafting guys like Tom Brady, Adam Thielen, Zach Hertz, just to get like some little nostalgia, you know, maybe like a little more bush, I guess.

Those, Tom Brady. What was that last week? Tom Brady probably owns Playboys. probably bought them himself back in the day. Hustlers. He's got to conserve energy for football. One, what are you saying? You're saying like there's more pushing like older porn?

Yes. I mean, wait, was that a serious question? That's unequivocally true. Is it true? Okay, I don't know. What are you talking?

Oh, Hyphitz. Don't play a naive with me. We all see right through you. I will say, oh, this is, okay, this is a funny story. I was, I used to, in Los Angeles, I used to drive to the office right on Santa Monica Boulevard. And there was this store called, it was like a bookstore on Santa Monica Boulevard. And someone's at the office's birthday one day.

And I remember thinking, oh, I'll get them a book. So I'll stop at that bookstore on the way to work. So at like 8.39 in the morning, I like go, I like park on my, it's right on my computer. I park. I walk in. And this guy's coming out with a very strange look on his taste. I was like, okay. And I walk in.

I was like, oh, shit. And it was just like gay erotic point. like it was just like erotic bookstore and I had no fucking clue and I just walked in and they were like in her out and I was like uh but my moment and I just walked in. Did you buy anything? On a workday on like a Wednesday. Did you buy anything? I left.

It was it was yeah. So that is actually how I learned. That's that there was more Bush. You never heard the terms like 70s Bush? No. We got to catch you up on like what happened in the world. But that was my first thought when I walked into this bookstore. I was like, oh my God.

I was like wrong store. I was like, wow, so much more hair. Hair everywhere. And then I left. Oh, man. That's good. What else you guys got? I would have split your two references, though, Dek.

I think you mixed your metaphors because you're talking about the older people, like Brady, like Brady, Ertz. Masturbating in a time machine? Thielen. Feeling. I thought you were going to say that those guys are like when the older people go down to the playground to beat the shit out of all the kids. Like, that's Tom Brady coming back to my football every year.

And honestly, the age difference isn't that big. If these guys are 40 in the movie and the kids are 15, that's, that's fucking 25 years. That's Brady. Brady will play people who are 25 years younger than him this year. It's not even a stretch. So literally what's happening.

I've got a belly full of white dog shit right now. And now you lay this shit on me? The white dog shit thing? I don't know why I was like fucking dying about that because I forgot that that's like a thing. After it starts like getting moldy or something. I don't know why, but I love that. So they don't want to take that street home

because they're going to get bullied. I love that the alternate option is 45 minutes long. longer. How is that possible? I like how Brennan, or no, Dale calls the kid Mr. Whatever it is. I don't know. Oh, God, that's so good. I got one. You know when

Brennan is finally, he gets a job at Derek's helicopter leasing company? And the greatest conceit ever, by the way. I love that he said. He's a corporate helicopter leasing company. I can lease 80 helicopters that should get my nut. To get my nut.

I love when Brendan is trying to like convince them to let him run the Catalina wine mixer and he's like I want to make bank bro I want to get ass Wait a second why do you want this so bad Brennan Are you trying to get mom and dad back together or something Why do I want this? Yeah Because I want to make bank bro

I want to get ass I want to drive a range rover To me that's that's Kristen Kirk convincing the Jags to make him One of the highest paid receivers to leave I want to make bank bro I want to get ass Oh my God. I can't believe the Catalina Wine Mixer didn't come in until, what, like, minute 40 of this time?

The Catalina Wine Mixer, epic. Epic. That phrase lived on. I mean, it's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer. I mean, that has been said billions of times. The other scene that I didn't remember was not if, unless you want to get back on Christian Kirk, but the scene where the doctor, the doctor, the doctor dad, Robert talks about how he wanted to be a dinosaur when he was little. Oh, that. completely killed.

I forgot about that. As someone who has seen the movie for the first time, to tell you the fucking truth, the thing that made me laugh the hardest was not like the bunk bed scene. It was none of that. I literally had to pause the movie.

I was laughing so hard. It was what he's just like, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a T-Rex. And then my dad told me, Bobby, you're 17? Shut the fuck up about being dinosaur and get a job.

And I thought, you know what? I'll go to medical school. I'll practice a little bit. I'll come back to it. I wonder how that you probably thought that was so funny because you've probably, you know, subconsciously been exposed to all of the jokes of, or not subliminally been exposed to all of the stepbrothers jokes for like the last 15 years.

A lot of them. Like when the, as soon as the bunk bed came up, I knew, oh, yeah, this is like one of the funniest Will Ferrell scenes ever. And so your expectations get raised. But that was just out of nowhere. I don't know what this killed. That's good. That was good.

The other, the other quote that was super funny was when Brennan, Will Ferrell, is yelling at Robert. And he's like, you keep your liver spotted hands off. my mother. She's a saint. That was what I almost used for the Tom Brady, Adam Thiel and Zacherts. You keep your liver spotted hands off my mother. Can we briefly talk about Kristen Kirk though?

Because, yeah. Like, I have him well ranked the highest out of the two of you. I have him 59th and then D.K., you have him all the way at 90th. And then Hyfitz is somewhere in the middle. I don't know if it's the fact that I just saw him play one preseason game and he had like five catches for 50 yards and like a quarter and a half. But I'm starting to wonder if we're not going to immediately regret not

ranking this man as a top 24 wide receiver the second the season begins. I think as his website, we are higher. Our rankings are higher in Christian Kirk compared to other places than I think we are high on. I'm higher. I'm higher and I'm the lowest by far. You're the lowest person and you're high in and relative. As a website, there is no player that we are higher on compared to everybody else than Christian Kirk. It is crazy. 68th overall in our half-pbpr rankings. I'm I just, I don't know. Like, why is he below Marquis Brown? Like, why?

So I think that the base argument is like, he's done it in the past, though, hasn't he? Like, he's been more consistently productive on a per game basis, I think. Yeah, the argument is just, it's kind of like the wish cat, like Christian Kirk's never done it. And so it's kind of the same thing of,

well, he's in this new role and he'll probably be valuable, but we've never seen it. But he's not an exciting player because he's been in the NFL for like five years. Whereas like the Cam Acres, what D.K was saying before, like the other Travis Etyns,

the younger guys that we haven't seen, we're not like, like the lack of, like experience or history watching them just kind of let your imagination run wild, whereas Christian Kirk gets more like, well, we've seen what he's got, and it's not very impressive,

but yeah, I think he's the number one receiver on the team with Trevor Lawrence and everything about it just seems like they'll get better. I just said like, I look at like Deontay Johnson, Marquise Brown, I don't know,

Adam Thielen, Jalen, Gabriel Davis. Like, I think Christian Kirk could have better seasons than all those guys. Yeah, but I think you don't want to reach for him. Like if you follow our rankings, you're still probably going to take him like a round.

Honestly, you might take him two rounds before he's going to go in like a different site. There's a world you get in three rounds early. And so you want to balance the website you're on. Like if you're drafting his spaniards, he's ranked 30 spots lower. You know, you might want to wait a little bit just to get the value. But the point is the thing, like if I can get Christian Kirk as like your fifth wide receiver this year, that is totally possible. Like there's a totally world where if you take Justin Jefferson, in the first round. And maybe you get Michael Pittman in the 30s. And you can take like very easily

like Pittman in the 30s. You can very easily get like a Cortland Sutton or a Jerry Judy. And then like even if you're taking running backs, quarterbacks or tight in, you can get Adam Thielen. You can get Christian Kirk. Like these guys could be your fifth wide receiver. And then meanwhile might be a top 15 option. Yeah, he got into it being a great, great value this year. I'm definitely into it too. It's funny. I didn't even realize I was so much lower than you guys because I feel like I'm pretty high on him. So yeah, I'm into it. I think there's still people that are doubting the Jags, though. And it's just like, you know, they were so bad, just a complete train wreck last year.

And for him to be a top 24, potentially more, you know, receiver, I think we have to see a really big jump from this offense to really make it worthwhile. So that's like maybe what people are dubious about. We also were saying how a lot of times to get a top receiver, you need a team to be good. And the Jaguars sneakily could be better. Like the Jaguars, the money they spent combined with the coaching, combined with Lawrence, there's a world of the Jackers do. we're in seven or eight games this year. And that is also where a lot of the gap comes, is the lack of imagination.

This team that's had the first pick back-to-back years could be good. But the Jaguars could totally win seven or eight games. That wouldn't be, it's not crazy to say. He's a somebody's got to catch passes candidate. We should do an episode on the, on the somebody's got to catch passes, buying or selling those guys.

Yeah. I like us on, like the three of us on Christian Kirk is kind of like, hey, what's your favorite non-pornographic magazine to master? It's good housekeeping. Great line. A couple other scenes that stuck out to me. Going back to, I remember watching this movie back in whatever year it was, 2014, you said.

2008. Yeah. Wow. 14 years ago. Oh, it's 14 years old. Got it, got it, got it, got it. I remember, like, literally cry laughing during the sleepwalking scenes. I couldn't, like, I had to watch it like three times because I was literally crying, laughing.

Like, the sleepwalking scenes are so, so funny. And the fantasy football thing that reminds me of is, like, basically when your internet freezes and you get stuck auto drafting. You're like, it totally fucks up your strategy. And they're like just going around like fucking putting the purse in the freezer, putting the pillows in the, Will Ferrell's like really staccato movements and like just like shaking open the Oreo bag and spraying it all over the kitchen.

And at one point he just, he's like, hi, I'm Carolyn. I know. I've actually felt bad for John C. Riley in those scenes because watching Will Ferrell act as a sleepwalk. is like, and next to John Raleigh. It's like me playing basketball Steph Curry. Like Will Perel, I don't know how he's so good at it, but he was born to

sleepwalk, yeah. Just the rigid movements are so good. It just like throws the Oreo bag. Throws the presence on the bed. It's so good. I have one for Cliff Kingsbury and Kyler Murray after this

after this kind of odd offseason and the preseason play caller stuff of Kyler and plays in the fourth quarter. You know, if it ends up working out between the two of them, it reminded me of the scene with, when Derek and, not Derek, when Brendan and Dale finally decided to be friends,

and he goes, listen, I know we started out as foe. But after that courageous act, you showed me maybe someday, we could be friends. I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they called Derek, maybe.

Someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale. I would follow you into the midst of Avalon, if that's what you mean. And then he's also like, here I am all the time. I thought my stepbrother was a doucher. Turns out you're not a doucher.

I will follow you into Avalon or something. It's so good. I think I'm coming around that Kyler and Cliff are going to be just fine and this is good for them. Who does Cliff have to punch for him to like heal this relationship? Probably whoever in the Cardinals front office put the video game closed. Like the bidwell? The assistant GM or something? I don't know.

I think that more than any media narrative, I feel like this will affect real life. Maybe like deflategate is like the perfect example. Like the flight gate happening and then Tom Brady being so mad they win the Super Bowl. But like we're at the point where. Kyler is going to be fueled by this. This is, I know that's kind of a lazy thing he's saying,

but I don't give a shit, it's fucking true. Yeah, this is a huge motivator for him. I mean, like, he has, he's completely, everyone called him lazy.

His team called him lazy. It's crazy. All time chip on your shoulder other than like deflategate. I'm curious. I wanted to throw, I'm throwing one out to you guys and then I want to tell you the quote,

is there a guy this year that everyone's really high on and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, but you don't really understand why. For me, it's probably Breeze Hall. I don't really like where Breece Hall's Everyone's like so high in Breece Hall The rookie running back for the Jets

And you know what that reminded me of When Derek is at dinner telling the story about fishing And the Dale's like are Benito Fish big And then everyone's like What's with this guy? What's this guy's deal? We're listening stories I was asking about the story

What's this guy's deal? I wrote that down Dude I just got it so good that he's like What? Yeah they're pretty big And he's looking around. I'm sorry. Please,

please don't be mad at Dale for ruining the story and possibly the evening. The kid, what's this guy's deal? The other thing, the other Derek, Adam Scott line that I thought

was great was when he was like, what if I were to tell you that I could sell this house for 30% above market? And he gives the social bill. He's like, yeah, in a heartbeat, Robbie, look,

I got my real estate license. A few years back for shits and gigs. I'd even do it for four-fifths commission because you know what really gets my dickard helping my friends. This is how I feel every time I get a trade request in fantasy. Some guys just like whispering sweet nothing's in my ear. He's like, you don't get my dick hard.

I want to help your team. And how about this? I'll toss in a shitty wide receiver to the deal. How about that? Yeah. I'll take forfeits commission. You can have Vueless Jones. Felix Jones.

For all the arguing we do about PPR, this is actually our biggest disagreement. Is D.K. just hates trading in fantasy. It's unbelievable. And obviously it's because you have too many fucking leagues. Yeah, you're just getting too many trade requests every day and you're drowning in them. Well, you get a text and you're like, which league? What website is this league even on? I know.

It's, I look, I admit that like, for a lot of people trading is honestly the best part of fantasy. I legit hate it. I don't have time to think about the trade offers. I have done, I will be honest though. I've done like probably 10 trades in the last week. Okay. So it's not like I don't trade. I just, sometimes I'm just like, I can't think about this.

10 trades in one week? That's like more trades. than I've ever done in my fantasy career. I've done a bunch of trades last week. What do you mean you do 10 trades? How did you make 10 trades at a week? I don't know. Here's the deal.

If you find someone that is really straightforward and doesn't like haggle and stuff like that, like I find those guys easier to trade with and I'll just be like, yeah, that sounds right. I'll trade. How many trades can you make with one person a week? Because the answer is like a max of two. Well, not to name drop,

but I made two trades with Matthew Barry this week. Ooh. What were the trades? He wanted Fab, uh, free agent auction, budget for the first waiver run of our dynasty league. And I knew I wasn't going to get some of these guys like Isaiah likely was still out there. So I wasn't going to get him because I already spent like a bunch of my fab.

So I gave him the rest of his rest of my fab for a couple rookie picks. What picks did you get? Like thirds and fourths. Wow. For next year and for 2024. Deke, I don't like trades. I mean, I just traded with Matthew Barry like literally yesterday. But you know, I don't like this guy.

I'm not trying to name drop. I'm just saying I've been doing like Matthew Barry. He's very easy to trade. with because he's very straightforward. He doesn't like try and haggle a bunch. I actually enjoy it. I think the funny part is you being like a hate trades. I made 10 trades this week, but I hate trading.

Well, look, I'm in a lot of leaks. Isaiah likely another one. I love you. Obviously, you don't know me. I love you so much. Okay, I get it. You're comfortable with me. It's more than comfortability.

I fucking love you. I have to bring this up because it made me laugh very hard. There's a scene where they're sabotaging Derek's house selling efforts. And Brennan dresses up as a Nazi mowing the lawn across the street. I know you're going. And he goes, hey, fuckers. Welcome to the neighborhood. My name is Craig.

The neighbor is a Nazi? If you guys ever need fertilizer, I've got a lot of it. Close to 80 tons. Hyvin, did you miss that? His name was Craig? I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Hey, Derek, spreckensy dick. Spreckenzie dick.

Oh, God. The other one that was. incredible is they're in the office. And he's like, you've seen him eat a man's penis? It was an international water. It was in international water. Couldn't prosecute him. And I'm like, that's literally Dan Snyder. I'm hiding on a super yacht in their national waters. Oh, my God. How many corporate helicopters do you think that Dan Snyder buys every year? He probably keeps Adam Scott's company afloat every year. He gets his nut. We have a, there's a category on the rewatchable is a new one called the Book of

Medals Award for the belatedly best quote and it's for the quote that upon rewatching it kind of stands out to you more than it did the first time and watching it again this stepbrothers the random quote at the Catalina wine mixer about Enterprise Rent-A-Car Oh my God, yes!

Corporate structure! Yes! I'm going to do what's sensible. I'm going to file for unemployment and I'm going to try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-Rencar because they've got an excellent corporate structure and they give you the tools to be your own boss. Great corporate structure. It made me think about a college wide receiver prospect

considering signing with the Steelers. She's like, they have excellent corporate structure and they give you the tools to be your own boss. What the fuck is this random line? I watched this with my girlfriend who had never seen it. At one point, I rewinded, and she literally grabs me and he's like, please don't rewind.

And I was like, wow. And then she wasn't loving it. And then the Enterprise Renner, car thing happened and she was dying because she's just meant someone who basically said that to her like the other day. No, no, no. Is a guy, no. It's a guy in the batch of the ret. One of the contestants on the batch of the ret was like

literally basically said what Will Ferrell said, like the give you your tools to be your own boss, but like I actually said it to describe his own life. That's a really good one. I was going to say if I had to vote for that, it would literally be the Derek's little kid going, what's this guy's deal? This guy's deal. What's this guy's deal? The other scene,

this is like, for whatever reason, Dane Cook was catching a lot of strays in this era of comedy. Hey, Dane Cook, pay-per-view, 20 minutes. He's like trying to get his wife to get to the car.

Honey, come on. Dane Cook, pay-per-view, 20 minutes. Let's go. Coming, honey. I'm just talking to Dale. Derek is such a prick. And he's just the best.

I can't get over how good he is. The other thing that I thought was really funny and wrote it down was how at one point in the movie, he's watching the show Rock of Love on TV. Do you guys remember this show? With Brett Michaels, right? With Brett Michaels, it was like he dated a bunch of groupies, essentially. And I watched that show while I was running. And it was just the smutiest, stupidest, fucking reality show. But it was also very funny and good.

That was a wild time in reality TV. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh wait, speaking of that, we got an email about a British reality show called Oh, yeah. Did you see that? Yes, this was basically they were talking about

While we were talking about the Scottsdale Bachelorette Party game, the email was basically talking about how there's a show, there's a reality show where... Wait, set the stage. If for people who didn't listen, we gave somebody the idea in Scottsdale, Arizona. They wanted to get a bachelorette party at a bar to decide the draft order of this group.

guys. And we came up with the idea of you should have the women predict, rank who they think has the biggest dick to the smallest stick in that to turn this draft order. And this guy, Ben, responded, and he goes, there's actually a UK show called Naked Attraction that you should look up. And the premise of the game show is six people of the opposite gender

lineup naked and hidden booths, and the contestant narrows candidates down by round as more of their naked body is revealed to them, full frontal, bottom to top. Then they go on a date with their preferred choice picking between two finalists whose faces they finally get to see. They're literally just judging

Dicks and butts, dude, stuff. That reminds me there's another reality show that I've probably watched every episode too that was dating, naked dating or dating naked. I can't remember which one it was. It was basically like a reality show where they literally go and they're all naked

on a beach somewhere and they date. And I remember after the show ended, one of the contestants sued the show because there was one scene where they accidentally didn't blur out like her entire crotchal region. Like you could, anyways, this was

early 2010's. So this is what Will Ferrell was watching in step from. Naked dating? I think it was called. Well, this show Naked Attraction. I know you're probably thinking it got canceled in 2007. It's still on. What? Dating naked. Dating naked was in 2014. Naked attraction is still on the air. It started in 2016. So do with that what you will. Okay. At some point, just watch

porn. I know, right? Like, cut to the chase. Like, cut out the red tape. Well, I doubt the viewer gets to see the genitalia. That's probably all blurred out. Well, I'll never know. It's Europe.

Have you seen some of the commercials in Europe, Craig? Yeah, there's like full frontal nudity in commercials. There's like a famous Australian commercial for condoms that I saw where people are having sex in a, in like a convenience store. Have you seen that? No. Anyway. This is a Puritan country, Craig.

I don't have a complete. Purendton country. I'm not that when speaking to Derek though when Derek reveals his abs Oh my god I haven't had a carb since 2004 I'll give you Zach Wilson showing up The training camp be like I haven't had a carbs

Since 2004 Yeah Mac Jones yeah Any other Last quotes here That's it It's just a phenomenal film Comedy's dead The only thing I have to mention

Is that I can't believe Like again I have I saw this movie the first time and like what actually took my breath away was the first scene with Derek when they're driving the car and the whole thing was singing sweet child of mine he's like gripping like unlike anything

I'd ever seen and then he almost and they pick it up and then he's like too flat too flat I oh I how you're ruining everything I pay $1,200 a week for singing lessons I have to save it with this solo I think about Aaron Rogers this entire season just like mad

Funny story, in my high school I went to, we did this thing called lip sync, and it was a yearly competition between each of the four grades, freshman up to senior. And in the spring, you would compete by putting on like a 10 to 15 minute performance of all lip syncing. It would be like songs.

And everybody would go and watch, and it would be like the freshmen would go first, the seniors would go last, there'd be like a theme of each class would pick a theme. You know, it would be like 80s or something. They'd only do 80 songs. And we did one that was called, I don't even remember the theme.

I think it was like connect the dots and every song led into the other one. But we did, we recreated, we lip synced this exact scene, the sweet child of my car scene. And I played Derek on stage. That's funny. And I had to learn that verbatim.

And I got so good at it. I didn't skip a beat. I love him saying, like the song is like, they're singing the lyrics of the song in the beginning. And then at the end he just sings, I'm Derek and I can sing high like this.

That's the words he's singing. $1,200 a week. for voice lessons and this is what I get. Okay, I'm going to save it with the solo. Bound, bow. It's just a little fill. It's just a little Phil. I like how he's like,

you're the oldest, so I'm really depending on you. All right, Tommy, you're the oldest. I'm counting on you. Come on. He's got eyes of the bluest skies. I don't know why. Dude, this show, actually, by the way,

really resonated with me as a father, like as a father because they did a three-year-old kid or like a six-year-old kid so well, like both Brennan and Dale. Yeah. Like the reactions to everything, like the pouty faces, the gyrating, like body, like just reaction to everything, sitting in the backseat, pouting. I don't know.

I thought you were going to say it resonates with you as a father because you're like, I'm going to go to the cheesecake factory and grab a drink. You're like, but it's Christmas Eve. It's like, oh, oh, happy Christmas. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's also a little terrifying. I got to make sure Calvin does his homework.

Can't be living with us until he's 40. We should probably get out of here. Dane Cook starts in 20 minutes. 20 minutes, pay-per-view. All right, well, that's all we got, as told by stepbrothers. Check out fantasyf Football. Dot the Rear.com. You can see all our rankings.

It's fantasy time. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, everyone on the fishing trip. Thank you, Chris Daughtry. Thank you, Jeff Probst. Thank you, Super Chef Bobby Flay. All the guys, seal.

Thank you, Lauren. Thank you, Mighty, Mighty Boss Tones. Nice. Closed out the movie with the Mighty, Mighty Boss Tostones. I haven't thought about Mighty, Mighty Boss tones in like a decade. Is that the Who Gets the Family Bible song? No, it's a do, do do do. Are they going to say thank you, Billy Joel for the cover van?

Dude, the Billy Joel scene was so good. Is that Horatio Sands? Yeah. Horatio Sands is another like legendary, just cameo guy in so many of those movies. Also, Matt Walsh is quietly the guy being like, play piano man. I was literally at a Billy Joel concert, like a few. weeks ago and literally people are sitting there at the concert, but you're straight, play the stranger. We didn't start the fire.

I'm late 80s. You mentioned Matt Walsh. Who was the other therapist? Because he was another guy that did a lot of cameos. There's a lot of those guys, like one of the guys who interviewed them when they were like, we're going to interview you. How much money do you make? That guy's in a lot of stuff.

Yes, yes. Hold on. I'm going to look this up. Therapist, stepbrothers. DK just Googling that guy's Joey Pants. I was going to say this is just the Joey Pants conversation. Ian Roberts. Ian Roberts.

Well, thanks to Ian Roberts as well. You nailed it. Stay golden pony boys.