The Ringer NFL Show - Top 200 Fantasy Rankings: Who Is a First-Rounder in 2025?

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

Fresh off the release of The Ringer’s 2025 Fantasy Football Rankings, the guys reveal their top 20 and discuss some of their most notable takeaways after ranking the top 200 players ahead of next season. Along the way, they catch up on a handful of news stories around the league. Plus, emails! (0:00) Top 200 Fantasy Rankings (1:53) Tier 1 (7:48) Tier 2 (18:58) Tier 3 (32:46) On-the-fence first-rounders (53:06) NFL news roundup (01:03:55) Emails! Check out our 2025 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producers: Kai Grady and Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the brand new Zach Lowe show. That's right. I'm back to have the same in-depth NBA conversations you're used to. We're going to talk about the games. Yeah, the games, the X's and O's, the drama, the trades, the playoffs are coming up. And now you get to see every episode in full on video on Spotify and on my own YouTube channel. Episodes drop every Monday and Thursday with a collection of guests you're going to love. So make sure you follow and subscribe to the brand new Zach Lowe show.

on Spotify or wherever you watch or listen to your podcast. Let's go. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyphen, I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlebeck. And today we are going over our top 200, well, that's kind of a lie. Our top 200 players are live on the fantasyfutball.com. We're not going to go over 200 players right now because that's too many. But we are going to go over the first round.

But yes, DK.R fantasy rankings are live at fantasyfutball. com. Heck yeah. Go check it out. It's going to be, we're going to continue to improve. The draft guide as he goes along with blurbs and everything that you need. But right now, you can go look at our early rankings and make fun of us and get mad at us if you want. Blurb sounds like one of those workplace platforms.

Blurb. Yeah, it does. We're going to sign into Blurb. You can log your hours on blurb. Oh, we'll come back to this at the end. We'll do some real football here up top. But just reminder, that guy offered to name a workplace platform for something in Wisconsin, and we have to come up with the name. I think we wanted to orgle.

No, it was Flemme. Fleem. Okay. Name the thing, Fleem. We voted on it. Anyway, we'll come back to that at the end. Okay, we're going to jump in here. So basically again, so we have our rankings up at fancyfutble.

3.30.com. Dynasty stuff is coming to. Dynasty rankings, all that jazz. I just want to dive in with just straight up like redraft, 20, 25 rankings. The number one player, I feel like there is. And so we averaged our rankings, and there's really just a two-man race for the number one player for 2025. Our number one player is Jamar Chase, the receiver for the Bengals. You guys had him first and Saquan Barkley's second.

I had Sequin first and Jamar Chase second. Tomato, honestly, as I started prepping for this episode, I was like, I probably should have had Chase number one. But I feel like D.K., it's fair to say, either of those guys you could take first, and that really is the tier here is like you could take them first and it's fine. Sequin, Jamar Chase, anyone else who's okay, but it's probably a little weird to take them over.

Is that how you feel? Yes, no one's going to scoff if you take Secault and Barclay first overall, I don't think. Well, no, no, I'm saying Seekuan or Chase, I'm saying anyone else you might get stopped. You take a running back over Seguan, a receiver over Chase, people are going to make a little sound. Right. And I think both of those are the clear-cut obvious ones. But also at the same time, while we're talking about this, I just keep getting the thought, like, we're ranking based off of what happened last year.

And very likely neither of these two guys are going to be the number one overall player in 2025. That's just kind of how it works. Right. That never happens. that Sequin will probably, he's probably not going to be outside of the top 10 at running back, but he's probably not going to be number one. Like the odds suggest he'll be like fifth. Well, it could be worse than that because do you guys want the case for these two or the case against right now?

Give me the case against Sequin and Chase. I think that's more interesting. Yeah. Because that's fair. Because the case for Sequan and Chase is honestly nothing's changed for them. Like that's kind of it. The Bengals brought everyone back like Joe Burrow, T. Higgins, Jim, Jamar. Chase Mike Gassiki, the Bengals are back.

Eagles, nothing changed. That's the case for them. Everyone else, something's different. The case against Sequin is really simple. Sequin touched the football almost 500 times last year. Like, if you, like, he had the most rushing yards in history of the NFL in a season, if you include the playoffs, like, you know, almost 20, like over 2,500 rush years. Sequin had like 470 touches.

And if you look at the list of guys who had almost 500 touches in a season, I mean, I'm just going to go through this. I mean, first of all, most touches in a decade. Sequin had the most since DeMarco Murray in 2014. The next season, DeMarco Murray played just eight games. And then Arian Foster had 460 touches in 2012. And the next season, Arian Foster played just eight games. And then Derek Henry had crazy carries in like 2019 and 2020.

And then next year, Derek Henry played just eight games. And then Larry Johnson in 2006 had almost 500 touches. And the next year, he played just eight games. And then Edron James in 2000, the next season he played, I mean, six games. But the point is, it's like really crazy consistently how, how frequently, people with that many touches just played half. They couldn't physically withstand it. I'm not saying that's like some definite thing for Sequin,

but that's the risk. And it's funny because, you know, Sequin is a guy who's been banged up a little bit in his career. So this is a good argument, Haif. It's funny because the one guy who kind of bucks that trend is Derek Henry, who every year were like, ah, Derek Henry is going to fall off. He had 300 plus touches once again.

And then every year he's awesome. And yet he's the one guy where every year we go in and we're like, ah, it's over for Derek Henry. And then he defies that every single year. year and yet we continue to not put him in the top five. And Sequin is kind of like the opposite of that where this is this, I mean, it kind of happened to Cooper Cup where like Cooper Cup had the giant year and then it never happened again. Not saying that's going to happen to Sequin.

But yeah, I mean, of course, that's always how it goes. You're going to overpay for Seekoine this year because he's probably not going to be the number one overall player. Like you will probably overpay. But you have to. If you want Sequin Barkley, you should have to overpay. I'm sitting here talking about injuries again in fucking May. I feel like I would, when the Giants like Jackson Dart, all my Giants

fan friends were excited and I watched the Debbie Downer SNL video where they're at Disneyland and Debbie, they're taking a picture with Goofy and Debbie Downer turns to goofy and is like, are you worried about dying in a terrorist attack? And that's how I feel talking about. He's going to get hurt in May. The odds suggest he's not going to hold up against. That's what outliers are.

They're outliers. He probably statistically can't hold up to the punishing physical toll. Oh, and I just found out, I can't have children. There are other guys that did it. Ladadian Thomas had did it a couple years in a row. Zeke, Levyon Bell did it two years in a row. Maybe that's a bad example because the luxury, he literally refused to play football.

Marshall & Lynch did it two years in a row and then retired. Derek Henry does it every year. Derek Henry does it every year. So the other guy, honestly, Christian McCaffrey did it and then needed a year, like 2019 and then played two games and then he did it. It's happened a lot. But anyway, so that's the argument we get sick ones. So, yeah, I'll probably move him down from one to tell.

But I mean, who else are you going to take over first overall? That's the thing because, and that's still going to give you a really high floor, either one of these guys, right, even if they're not the number one player in fantasy again. Exactly. I mean, every game, sick on plays, we will rank him first. And again, the other thing we didn't mention is that if they, if all these other teams, the cowardly Green Bay Packers and Matt Lafleur, the football genius who, frankly, scared to compete, succeed in getting the tush push band.

There's a chance Sake one could be even better because that dude had 2,000 rushing yards he only had 13 touchdowns. I mean, I think if the touch push gets banned, it's fair to say Sankwon

there's a chance it gets 20 touchdowns. So he could do better. Like that is absolutely on the table. Even if it goes from 2,000 yards to 17, the touchdowns can make up for that. So we'll see.

Pop quiz. Can you name the Eagles new offensive coordinator? Oh, it's some MPC name. I don't remember his name. It's some fake dude. I don't know. No, I've never heard of him.

Kevin Petul or Patolo. Oh, yeah. I'm not sure. He's a Seriani guy, right? They're all Syriani guys. He was with the team for the last, since 2021. So he's like the passing game coordinator last year

and assistant head coach. So that's clearly the first tier, right? It is Chase Sequin and then there's a tier break. How big do you think the next tier is? So my tier, and I call this people you could take third and nobody would say anything. Like no one's going to be like, that's weird. I thought the people you could take third and it's totally fine.

And it's our next four guys. Bejohn Robinson, the running back for the Falcons, Jamir Gabe's running back for the Lions, Justin Jefferson receiver for the Vikings, Cidieland receiver for the Cowboys. I think there is no question you could take those guys third and it's not a peep. If you want to put Derek Henry in there,

just had a principle, that's fine. D.K., do you agree with that tier? Yes. That's like fantasy royalty right there other than Jason Barkley. I feel like some combination of those guys are going to go in the top six, basically, in almost every draft.

other than maybe some rookie you know some rookie might sneak in there and we'll talk about him in a little bit here can I ask you guys a question I want to double click on something as the kids say kids don't say that you say flick at it people trying to sound like kids say that

Justin Jefferson I have him six you both have him fourth are you guys not a little worried about the fact that there's this quarterback JJ McCarthy throwing to him who's never played an NFL game coming off of a pretty weird knee injury, who had pretty limited production at Michigan.

And we're all just kind of like ranking Justin Jefferson, kind of at the exact same place we always do. And I know that, sure, Kevin O'Connell, the head coach of the Vikings, like made Josh Jobs relevant for a month, basically made Sam Darnold $100 million. I know the guy's kind of like a magician. But does that worry you at all? Because to me when I look at somebody like Amon Ross St. Brown,

I'm like, man, is the upside of Justin Jefferson really worth the downside of J.J. McCarthy being awful compared to somebody like a Monrope St. Brown who was just like 1,300 yards, 12 touchdowns every year? I mean, I'm not going to lie. I mentioned this in January when we did our blind rankings when the season ended and I had Justin Jefferson lower and you guys screamed at me. Well, you had him like really low, I think. I had him like 10th because of the J.G. McCarthy thing and you guys called me insane. I don't know if that was me. That's probably DK. I'd have to go back and check the tape on that one. I don't remember that specifically.

But you're right. These are all salient points, Craig. I think, yeah, because you're saying, like, sort of is the upside worth the risk of the downside? I think if you're going for floor, Amundra St. Brown, 100% makes sense, you know, taking him over a guy like Jefferson. But I just think we've seen the ceiling of what Jefferson can do. If you go to Pro Football reference on Justin Jefferson, his yard. yards per game is in gold. It's like a little highlight

because that's when he's the all-time leader in something. You get a little gold thing. Justin Jefferson's the all-time leader in receiving yards per game at 96 and a half. Literally the all-time leader. I think it's really just, it's almost like a respect ranking.

You respect the player so much. It almost doesn't matter what the quarterback situation is. I mean, last year Sam Darnold was like coming into the year, did you expect Sam Donald to do that? Not to say that that's what J.J. McCarthy's going to do because it's a whole different ball game, but I don't know. I just feel like, yeah,

It probably is a rank and not think too much about it type of situation for me where I was just like, yeah, Justin Jefferson goes here. It just feels like we're putting him at best case scenario. Like last year he was the third best wide receiver in fantasy on a points per game basis, right? Number three. I'm like, all right. So he was the third best wide receiver with Sam Darnold having, I mean, like the 99th percentile of outcomes that could have possibly happened for Sam Darnold. And it's like, so that, so basically for Justin Jefferson to deliver on where you're taking him, J.J. McCarthy would need to have Sam Darnold's season last year.

Well, first of all, Vick, well, no, because Justin Jefferson's had 1,400 yards receiving every season of his career, with the exception of the one time he hurt his hamstring. And that season actually... Yeah. But he's doing it with Kirk Cousins, who's a good, competent quarterback, and then Sam Darnold, who had an all-time season. I agree. I think Vikings fans are losing their mind. You're right. The argument for Justin Jefferson is he's genuinely probably going to go down as one of the 10 best receivers in NFL history. Like Justin Jefferson actually incredible. I agree, though. You know what I don't like about them in J.C. McCartney,

few thing because he was hurt and I feel like there was a setback with his knee and the knee meniscus and also he's basically one of the first quarterbacks to ever be taking in the first round he's going to miss his whole year for for injury and now it's like we hear from him and it's kind of like we're getting signed to life update it's like the idea that he appears in public you know what of these practices and it's like he's alive thank god and I'm like I also I don't like that they're like flirting with Rogers that there's reports that like they're they might think about bringing in another quarterback I'm like I just don't like any of that I think It's just one of those you have to accept the range of outcomes.

I think there's a chance that JJ McCarthy getting mental reps for a year and he's doing virtual reality or whatever and he comes in and he's fine. But I agree. We are fundamentally expecting him to do something that he's never done, which is supported actual high-actane offense. Yeah. If the Oculus is going to save J.J. McCarthy's career. All this being said, Craig, you have two whole spots different than us.

That means a lot of the top. Craig's like, I draw the line. I'm smart. You're stupid. You guys are getting us. 25% lower than you. Craig's grand plan is I'm going to move him behind C.D. And, uh, fucking Jemir Gibbs.

That's your guy. I mean, that's fine. I get that. That's fine. I mean, we're splitting hairs up here at the top. These are the best of the best. LeBron being the second best of all time versus the best of all time is a big difference.

I think that's, I'm probably going to move the fucking gold posts. I'm going to move Justin Jefferson after this probably. Nice. Craig's going to win his battle from. fourth to sixth. Move him to sixth overall. I think, okay, wait, can I just make, so I want to make my case for C.D. Lamb. I want to talk about C.D. Lamb. Because I have him above Justin Jefferson, and I feel like he's going to be,

there's always a couple stars who have a mediocre year for whatever reason the year before. And he's kind of already had his, like, famous big breakout moment. He became awesome. Then the next year it didn't work out. And then he kind of settles in this, this, you know, in the court of public opinion where it's like, oh, yeah, everybody knows Cidie's Lamb is good, but like he's not as sexy as Jamar Chase. He's not as sexy as Justin Jefferson. You have guys like Brian Thomas and, you know, whatever. Nico Call.

There's just like new names that have been Pukua that are like now in the conversation. And I feel like CD who just a year ago had 1,700 yards just like Justin Jefferson did, or just like Jamar Chase did last year. CD Lamb is now getting theoretically a healthy Dak Prescott back. There's really still no other wide receivers there for CD Lamb. And last year, you know, Dak got hurt. he had the hamstring injury, miss half the season. When he was playing with Jack Prescott,

he averaged 15.2 points a game, which was the wide receiver four. And so I'm like, I kind of think C.D. Lam's floor and ceiling is higher than Justin Jefferson's. Yeah. I mean, I have no argument with that. I mean, C Cid Lamb, like,

he's probably going to lead the NFL in targets. The other thing with Cid Lamb is, it's totally possible Cid Lamb is still getting better. Cid Lamb is Tyler Shuck's age. He's just, he's like, I can't believe it, but I feel like Ced Lamb is kind of Boring is not the right word because he's not boring. But, like, I don't know, the Cowboys,

there's just something about them and him that's, like, not sexy, I think in fantasy right now. No, that's a good point because, no, I see what you're saying, though, because weirdly for a guy that is the receiver for the Dallas Cowboys, Citi Lamb is almost just kind of hand-waved into this conversation with all these great receivers where I think, frankly, because the LSU guys just get all the shine nowadays between, like, Jefferson and Jemar Chase and Malik Neighbors and Brian Thomas

and Citi is just kind of there. But frankly, I think the biggest, moment of CED's year last year was being blinded in the sun during the Eagles game. Like that was the most notable thing that happened to the entire year was him being like, I would like curtains. And Jerry Jones was like, no. Like that was the biggest thing that happened to him. I know.

Like I'm trying to think of the cop for him and like the NBA or something. But he's just like maybe the best receiver in the league. And I know he's not really discussed as much. People would still put him there obviously. But in terms of fantasy, I feel like. I don't know. Maybe where Devin Booker was two years ago before the sun's imploded. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it's like, yeah, I don't know. But anyway, I see where you're, I have no argument. I think you could take CD3. You could take CD2 if you really wanted to. But no, CD's incredible. And I think he's right there with CD and Jefferson. And the other two is Bijan and Jamir Gibbs.

You guys have Bejan Robinson three. I have him behind Jamir Gibbs, but I think this is another example, just like you're saying CD Jefferson. Same similar, similar thing to me where Jamir Gibbs, the question is just, it's just lying. There's no questions about Gibbs. Like, he's incredible. He's young. He's like so fun to watch. He's a fun player to have on your team.

And the question is just honestly, Ben Johnson left the Lions. It's the same question for Jemir Gibbs as it is for Amman Ra. It's just like, okay, like what if the team gets worse? Because Ben Johnson left.

And then there's Bejohn who was just consistently, like just the top four running back the entire season and exploded actually when Michael Penix took over. And you can go with whatever order. I kind of want to Jamir Gibbs because he actually wants to be a football player and Bichon Robinson actually wants. actually wants to be an actor, which is kind of my thighbreaker.

I don't know, but you're such a boomer take. Good Lord. I have a hard time, like, differentiating between the two because I think they're both sick. So with Gibbs, obviously, like you said,

the question is, what will the offense be like with Ben Johnson gone? How different will it be, if at all different? Maybe they'll just kind of continue chugging along because they have such good talent. The thing that came to mind

when I was thinking about Gibbs was something that Craig would say every fucking week on Sunday is like, oh look, here comes another lion's rushing touchdown. Because I think, I don't remember you had like, I had Jared Goff and he would never fucking throw the ball inside the 10. Craig's like, great, they're in the red zone again. Here comes another fucking rushing touchdown.

So last year, the Lions ranked second in rushing touchdowns. They scored 29 rushing touchdowns as a team. And then the year before that, they were tied for first with 27 rushing touchdowns. So I guess the concern would, be with Gibbs is just regression to the mean in terms of the amount of times they score on the ground. Like maybe golf is just going to toss 40 touchdowns this year and it's just going to look a little different. Well, that reminds me of a different Craigism from last year, which is fantasy all season, which is

where we're like, the Lions led the league in touchdowns. That's bad. Right. They score so many touchdowns that that's terrible. They'll score less going forward. You want one of the teams that had fewer touchdowns because they'll score more. I don't have strong opinions between Bejohn and Gibbs, to be honest. They're so in the same tier.

I literally, and I think that I feel so strongly the top six is, or not the top six, but like Jamar Chase, you could take first. But these six players, as Dek said, I think is perfect. Fantasy royalty, Chase, Sequin, Bijan Gibbs, Jefferson, Citi, top six. And then it depends if you want to put Derek Henry there because part of me, you could be like, that's the definition of fantasy royalty. The flip side is you're basically betting on a 31-year-old running back for like what feels like the first time ever.

as like a, you know, a top five pick. We have the next six players we have here, we have a Monra. I'm curious where, so for lack of a better term, I have this tier as guys you could take seventh with a straight face. I kind of had. Okay. That's the most Bill Simmons ranking of all time. This is the top 13 guys that you can take in the top 30.

But I mean it, though, because if you have the fifth pick and you grab one of these other guys, I'm a little, yeah, I don't know, there's better people available. But you look at, I think there's seven players you could take it with the seventh pick. Like Amon Ra, Derek Henry, Ashton, Jente, Brian Thomas, Malik Neighbors, Nico Collins, Puka, Devon H. I think you can take any of those guys at the seventh pick, honestly. Yeah, sure, sure. I think I generally agree with that. We're all a little bit.

The biggest differences here is I have, D.K. and I have Brian Thomas much higher than you do D.H. Is that because you think Travis Hunters are coming in and takeover Jacksonville and Brian Thomas is going to fall back a little bit. Well, Brian Thomas play cornerback. The greatest player in football history is going to take over. Yeah. No, as I was looking at this, I was like, I am wrong. Brian Thomas needs to be higher and I need to update my ranking and I will do it after

the show. Because Brian Thomas, I have him 17th and frankly, it's just like I have a giant tier of 17 players that I think are like the top 17 guys and I was just wrong. Like Brian Thomas, the more I think about it, I'm actually really excited about that Jaguar's team and Liam Cohen in Jacksonville. and I think Brian Thomas absolutely I think if there's a guy that you're going to throw a dart here

of just who actually will finish is the number one receiver that you isn't like a take to say top five but sounds like a take to say number one. I would be less surprised that Brian Thomas being the number one receiver

than I actually would about like Malik neighbors, Nico Pooka de Kua. I kind of think Brian Thomas could be a fucking monster this year. DK, am I crazy? No, not at all. I think the thing holding Brian Thomas back

is, you know, beating a dead horse at this point. but his name is just so generic. Yeah. And it's like John Taylor. It's like actually hard to get excited about a guy named Brian Thomas. I don't know why. Like that's just.

I know. The junior helps a little bit. It gives it something. BTJ maybe. But he was, he was honestly so good last year. Obviously, flew out to the radar for a number of reasons.

Jags weren't good. All that stuff. But he's Jacksonville Jaguars Brian Thomas. Yeah. And then there's Malik neighbors in New York. Right. And Marvin Harrison Jr. not that he was that great,

but there was just already two more famous receivers in his class. And Roma Dunesay, who didn't do all that much as a rookie either, but he was like, I think, generally considered to be above him when we were talking about the draft.

He didn't even like throw in like Brock Bowers. There was just like a lot of famous past catchers last year. Can you imagine if Brian Thomas had been named Roma Dunezay and did what he did last year? But so if you look at what he did, he was, he averaged 14.2 half PBR points per game, which was the Y receiver 12.

He was a Y receiver 1 as a rookie, 75 yards. per game, which is 11th, 25% target rate, which is elite, almost eight targets per game. And he did that on fewer targets than the average guy. He's a big play threat. And then you add in this Liam Cohen factor, which I'm very excited about. Last year with Baker Mayfield at quarterback, obviously the Bucks had a really good receiving court.

So Liam Cohen was the office coordinator for Tampa the last couple of years. And I was the head coach of the Jaguars after he overthrew Little Finger from Jacksonville and took the job. Right. So Baker Mayfield at quarterback, Bucks, were so. Second in the NFL and past touchdowns, they averaged the sixth most plays per game. So there's tons of plays to be had in potential in this offense. Fifth in completions per game.

Fourth and points per game. And third in success rate. Overall, I just think this offensive ecosystem has a chance to be like way better based on the scheming. And hopefully Trevor Lawrence can finally take that jump that we've all kind of been waiting for. Obviously, adding Travis Hunter is big. That could be kind of a downside too because maybe Travis Hunter steal some of the target rate that Brian Thomas is getting. but I think ultimately at the end of the day, it's going to be more of a rising tide,

raises all ships type of deal, because the offense is just going to be better. I agree. I don't get too tied up with like, oh, there's another good wide receiver on the team. It's like Jordan Addison is with Justin Jefferson. Jamar Chase has T. Higgins. Like that doesn't really bother me at all.

I mean, he was a rookie who had 1,300 yards and 10 touchdowns last year on the Jags. And it's like, Liam Cohen, Trevor Lawrence, I still think is good. And I still believe that like he could still take another step forward. And so I don't really care that Travis

a rookie getting 1,300 and 10 touchdowns. It's like, I mean, I know. What else you need to see? Yeah, I agree. I need to be higher on Brian Thomas. I think my question is, would you guys see, I mean, Craig, you have Brian Thomas 7th and Malik Neighbors 13th. Mm-hmm.

Why do you hate Malik Neighbors? If it was Malik Neighbors Jr., that's really cool, but it's not. The only reason why I have them six spots apart, maybe they should be a little closer, but it's not anything to do with talent. if if Malik neighbors were on the jack i just honestly am like quarterback yeah coach like to be on maybe not coach but like it's just the offensive situation i think and i don't trust whatever's going on with russell wilson and james and dart and i'm just like trevor lawrence and leum cohen is something i feel like i can depend on much more than i can

with whatever's going on with the giants i just had an idea i think we might have read i think i might have just revolutionist fantasy football okay should we do our receiver rankings when we do our like should we actually, every time we say the name, should we make it a rule you have to say the name of the receiver and the quarterback? Yeah. So like, because that kind of solves what we're talking about, where it's like, number one, Jamar Chase and Joe Burrow,

tier of their own. And then it's like, C.D. Lamm and Dak Prescott, Justin Jefferson and J.J. McCarthy. And it kind of speaks for itself what we're trying to say. Because I think Brian Thomas Jr., Trevor Lawrence, Malik Neighbors, and Russell Wilson. Yeah, probably. Part of me is like to see the name on its own.

It's like reading the calories next to the menu item, you know, on the cheesecake factory. This one has high-futte-corn syrup. It's 1600 calories? Okay. Maybe I'll skip that one. I'm looking at this and I have Pooka Nukua below Millic Neighbors. But if you said I have Pooka Nicaucah and Matthew Stafford, I'm going to move him over from the Lake Neighbors and Russell Wilson.

And as I'm looking at it, Nico Collins and C.J. Stroud. I'm like, maybe Craig's right. Maybe I should move neighbors down. I don't really want to live like that. Look, it goes back to my, I've the worst fucking attorneys. I just would like a good quarterback with my receiver. Sue me. DK, I'm like half kidding, but actually should that not just, I mean, is it kind of

deductive, but part of me is like, that probably should be the fucking tiebreaker, shouldn't it? I mean, at the end of the day, it's like, a lot of these guys are tied to really talented quarterbacks. I think it should be the tiebreaker, yes. I agree with that. Generally speaking, there are, there have been good fantasy receivers with bad quarterbacks before.

but yes, in terms of just like Name one. Very top. Oh yeah, you like them so much. Why don't you name the top five? I don't know off the top of my head right now, Craig. Look, it's May. It's May.

I don't actually remember what D.K. was already saying. Yeah. That we have to name. You're saying there are good receivers and bad quarterback. It's like, okay. Name 10. Malik neighbors last year. Yeah, there we go.

That's a good example. Name five more. How about that? No, yeah. So that's probably. the right way we should go about this, which it's why I have a guy like Nico Collins kind of high, because I'm like,

I just, I just would rather have somebody in an offense where when it's third and nine, which it is a lot for Houston, I can rely on the quarterback to make a good throw and make a good decision to move the chains. I also think my resolution for fantasy this year is more than ever, not

entirely, but I'm going to try to take 80% of the logic we usually use with fantasy, and I'm going to try to add in the 20% trying to account for the actual experience you will have watching these goddamn games. And the Malik Neighbors thing, as exciting as he is as a player,

you're going to want on Sundays to have, like, the margins really are so thin that, like, I'm going to watch Straddow to Dekyll Coyne, more than I'm going to watch Russell Wilson throw to neighbors. It's going to be just be tougher. So part of me is like, that's kind of in the back of my brain.

It's like, you know, if James is throwing, maybe you have to average it because the Jamis' the neighbor's experience, if he plays at all, would be pretty spiritual, but you're probably going to ask Jackson Dart playing instead. Question for you. As a Giants fan, is the joy of betting on Malik neighbors on your fantasy team and having both the Giants play well while having Malik neighbors on your fantasy team?

Is the joy of that stronger than the pain of drafting Malik neighbors and having him suck for fantasy and the Giants are terrible? Like, which is a stronger feeling? I think I feel very strongly about this but this is very much like a personality type thing it's kind of whether you head your bets or not I think they're like my brother refuses to draft obviously we're all Giants fans of my family and my brother refuses to draft like Eagles or Cowboys

because he hates them and I have no problem with that one because I'm just more of a realist and I mean the Giants are like two and 16 against the Eagles in the last 18 games but also I'm just like well the worst case is if the Eagles are bad then like all right then my play you know what I mean

I don't care that much. But I... Honestly, Craig has been so long since the Giants were good in fantasy that I barely know. I don't know, man. I can't... It's so new to me to have good players.

Did it hurt more if you would draft Sequan? And then he was like banged up all year and the Giants suck? I think for the... Rather than you draft Seekwon, the Giants make the playoffs and he's awesome. And you're like, man, what is worth it for you? You know, I actually don't think I could have answered this

until the last year. Saquan being good in fantasy was like completely... disconnected from whether the Giants were good or not because he's a running back. I actually do want Malik neighbors on my team. Like, I enjoy having Malik neighbors. It is fun. You're willing to risk it being a disaster even just because having him would be awesome if it worked out.

Yeah, I think I'm there. I think I'm there. I kind of just want him on my team. Like he's, it's so crazy to have like such a talented player. He averaged 11.3 targets a game last year, which is by far the most. Neighbors, I mean, dude, the neighbor's stats are crazy. I mean, literally the first four weeks of the season, he was straight up like a top three receiver.

Like the second half of the year, neighbors was second in targets, but tied for 26th and touchdowns. So, yeah, neighbors, I can already see he's going to get so mad at Russell Wilson. It's going to be unbelievable. The other guys I want to talk about here, DK, where are you taking Ashen Genty for the Raiders? I think you could convince me he should go seventh, and you kind of convinced me he should actually go 15th.

He's still a rookie running back. Yeah. No, I think you could make the argument that he goes right after Gibbs and Robinson, honestly, just because of scarcity of guys who are going to be three downbacks in this season. Obviously, Gibbs is not even really that, but he's just not such a good offense. Gentie landing with Pete Carroll is so great because you have to think Pete Carroll wants to make him the focal point of the offense. I think this offense could be more functional than you think it will be because they went traded for Gino Smith. They already have Brock Bowers, Jacoby Myers, Jentee.

And yeah, I mean, just in terms of volume, fresh legs relative to most of the guys in the NFL at this point, but tackle breaking, creation, just what they want him to be in their offense. The fact he was the sixth overall pick. If you look back throughout history, the top 10 running backs almost immediately are always, you know, top five, top 10 running backs in fantasy. So there's a handful of like outliers there, but for the most part, if you're a top 10 pick at running back, you're going to produce right away. You know, I can't tell with the, I think the stink of the Raiders is still there. It's still odorous enough where when I think of Gentie on the Raiders,

I'm like, well, it's the Raiders. And then I'm like, well, yeah, but you have Pete Carroll now and you have Chip Kelly. You have a real quarterback and Geno Smith. Like, there are pieces here. I don't know what the, it's like finding out like a, like Christopher Nolan's directing a Batman. I mean, I got to Super Her movie. Well, actually, it is Chris Nolan. So maybe this will end up being really good.

I think I have to kind of retrain my brain to think about the Raiders in a different way now that they have so many competent pieces making the puzzle. You know what I mean? Yeah. This discussion reminds me a little bit of what we were talking about with Marvin Harrison last year, where we were, you know, Harrison was this generational prospect. He went third or fourth or whatever it was to the Cardinals. He went to an offense with a good quarterback, and they just didn't really mesh that well.

And he had a really slow start of the season. But I really don't see that happening with Gentile. I bring that up just because it did happen so recently, but like Gentie, I think it's a totally different story. What is the worst case? Is the worst case with Genti? He has like a Leonard Fournette season where he just like runs into an eight-man box every down and he gets 300 touches for 1,200 yards and he just kind of goes nowhere?

Literally, yes. It's exactly what you just said. And he plays well enough that you're going to play him every week. And he's not even bad. He just isn't special. You take him first. Everyone gets you riled up about Gentie. and then you play him every week

and he's like indistinguishable from, I mean, James Connor is just lapping him every week and you're kind of like, why the fuck did I take this guy? Like I think that. It's always, yeah,

that's fantasy football. Because when you take Gentie, you're envisioning, frankly, Adrian Peterson, like coming out as like 1700 rushing yards and you're like, I'm getting a Hall of Fame running back.

And we'll see. There's not very much competition in the backfield in Las Vegas. I don't know. It just sets up for a little bit of a little bit. Yeah. It's just, you're going to pay for the ceiling.

I want to talk about another running back who's going right near him, who I can't believe I have him ranked the highest because I, historically, like this guy kind of doesn't do it for me because it's so nerve-wracking. But Devon A-chan, the running back on the dolphins, I have him 10th, high-fet thousand 13th, DK-15th. And I can't help. I obviously know the risk is that, look, when Tua gets hurt, it's a completely different situation.

And that's kind of all it is. But, man, when Tua did play last year, year he was the number two running back in fantasy. Dude, I literally have that. So I have, I think I had slightly different numbers. Well, I took out week 18 just for a variety of reasons. But if you take out week 18, Devon A Chan with two in the lineup, I had number three fantasy, 20 points per game, basically.

Which over the course of the season, that's like the number three running back. Basically tied with Derek Henry. Like, so Devon A Chan's like Derek Henry good. H.N. and Henry staying next to each other. Oh my God. It's like the photo of Altuve and Aaron Judge. But yeah, then Devoniari. H&N without Tua starting,

not including Week 18, HN had five and a half points per game. Five and a half. So that's equivalent to the number 51 running back last year, five and a half points per game. So ACHN is Derek Henry with Tua in the lineup. He is Devin Singletary without Tua. Once again, Tua for MVP. Oh, get out of here. No. Dolphins for LVP for being

completely unprepared. Why the fuck do the dolphins every year they're caught by total fucking surprise that Tua is injured Yeah there's nothing like softer More flaccid than the Dolphins offense without Tua in it It's horrific it's the worst And that's the thing is you're tying yourself to the dolphins And you're gonna feel like a genius and an idiot

Probably multiple times if you have HN And you I mean yeah to Craig's point Like the upside is right there with Gibbs and Bijan I think it's just you are betting on Tua staying healthy Like you are Yeah it's just far more volatile Zach Wilson's the backup now. You're going to be watching if two, it gets hurt again,

you're going to be watching Zach Wilson throw in this offense and Quinn Ewers. Why is that the plan? It's a philosophical debate, basically, on how you like to draft. Because if you're sitting there at the end of the first round, if you like the whatever, the 12th, 13th pick and A-chan is sitting there, it's like, that's a real Ricky Bobby first or last. Like, if you want to go for it, hey, it's like, they're not giving out awards for third or fourth.

Like, you might as well just take A-chan and you have a chance to get the number one running back in a league. I don't know. Why is Joe Flacco in Cleveland and not Miami? He might be eventually. I mean, I feel like Cleveland has too many quarterbacks at this point. But yeah, I mean, I don't know why they didn't do more to solve the backup quarterback situation in Miami. Like, Zach Wilson?

Are you serious? He couldn't beat out. Jarrett Stidham last year. What are we doing here? Right? Wasn't he on the Broncos? I can't even remember where he was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Him and Bo Nicks. John Pitt and gave up on him. Brother villains in a Disney movie. I just, yeah, Hyphids, you're absolutely right. I don't understand the lack of a backup plan there in terms of this is a team that the offense completely falls apart when the starting quarterback is gone.

I don't want to have a little bit bigger investment. It's the defining feature of the dolphins. Right. It's two as injuries. It's the defining aspect of the team. Who else besides Flacco do you think would make a lot of sense there? Oh my God. Jacoby Brissette went to Arizona.

Why is Jacob? I don't think he's great. But like he's better. than Zach Wilson. Yeah, I mean, even like James. James! That's a great example. It won't surprise me if by the time the regular season rolls around,

they have a different backup quarterback. Even Jimmy G or something. There's these guys out there. I mean, we don't have to. I don't think this is interesting. Jimmy G could do what Tua does, like 80% of it. I mean, I don't under, dude, we can scroll through right now. I'm willing to say this.

Carson Wentz is still out there. All right. Yeah, well, yeah. Okay, that's getting, we're getting kind of ridiculous now. They just, they just, they didn't sign, they didn't resign pro bowler Tyler Huntley, did they? Pro bowl or Tyler Huntley. The other person I want to throw out real quick, Puka Nakua, Craig and I have Puka 14th, which I think I might move him up.

DK, you have him ninth. Puka, I'm not going to lie, looking back at Puka, I think I underrated Puka because. I did too, but I kind of, I have a reason. So Pooka missed five of the first six weeks. And then when he came back, so week eight on, Puka, Koocau is just straight up the top four receiver in fantasy. It was like Jamar Chase is Mike Evans, T. Higgins, and Puka. And Puka led all receivers in yards per route run. And so the win signed Devante Adams.

So, D-K is your issue with Puka, sorry, Craig, is your issue with Puka? Is it Devante Adams signing or is it Puka looking like he's injured on every single time he gets tackled? Both, I think, are, I would say I'm giving equal weight to both. Yeah, Devante Adams, I don't know. It's like, is he going to have seven, eight, nine, ten, touchdowns, like that right there is already tough. And yeah, Pooka Nukuwa is like the Eric Burns of football players. I don't know if you remember Eric Burns, the outfielder for like the Diamondbacks and

the A's and stuff. He would just go balls to the walls on every fly ball. It could be the second inning in June. And Eric Burns is sprinting into the back wall and dislocating his shoulder. Wow, that's such a deep cut. That is. Oh, my God. Wait, that's such a good call.

He needs to talk to Tyler Lockett. I just, he played 11 games last year. Like, I don't know. It feels like his feeling is like 14. I just, I don't. Craig, he was injured in college as well. Well, and that's why. That's one of the reasons he was a fifth rounder was it was a medical thing.

Right. To Puka as well. And so, I don't know. He's like the sponge belt. Like, every morning I break my legs and every night I break my arms. That is to Pooka Nukuahua. And I'm like, if I could guarantee 17 games, I'd probably take him fifth. I like that.

I like, I like, I can't do that. I like pretending to smile through is if you knew that reference. That was good. No, you know what I was thinking that. Well, Craig was the chocolate bar episode. I was literally thinking, I went on a walk this morning. thinking about Pooka Nakua and the fact that the Rams took tight end Davis

Davis Allen like six or seven picks before they picked Pooka Nakua in the fifth round. I just think the draft is so funny how this all fucking works. The Rams are not some brilliant fucking team because they took Pukkahua. You know what I mean? It's just like... They took Davis Allen

like six or seven picks before they picked Pukukukkah in the fifth round or fourth round or whatever. whatever. What were around? It was it, fifth round? Fifth. But, like, I just think it's so funny how this all works. Lamar Jackson, the Ravens' second pick in the first round behind Hayden Hurst. I'll never get over that.

Who's not even in the league now. I'll never get over the Haydenhurst over Lamar. So anyways, but you were just hyphids. You mentioned, like, why he fell in the draft because of medicals. And he wasn't even like a full-time player for his college team because he kept getting hurt. Book is a good example of Craig identified this. and I'm also trying to remember. This is a real thing.

There is some indeterminable amount of time that will come off your life having Pooka Nuku and your fantasy team. Because even if he doesn't get hurt, you're going to think Pook has gotten hurt like 50 times. Maybe that's an hour, but it might be like a year of like off your life, which that's not worth it.

Yeah, he's like a really spicy chicken tender or something like that. You're like, man, it tastes good, but like is it really going to be worth it? Like the indigestion that Pooka Nukua brings you every Sunday, you know, he needs to come with some tums

when you pick him. I just think the connection he has with Stafford, though, is, I mean, you just have to bet on that. That's how I feel about it. That's why I've got

quite a bit higher than you guys. He just, even though it's funny that I'm like making, and I'm making the case for Devon A-chan and then now making the case against Pook and Nakua.

We should keep track of all the contradictory things we do in our rankings constantly. I'm correct passionately be like, we're crazy in Jefferson and he's got him like two spots off. I do this shit all the time too. I know he was the Brock,

I'm going to do this right now. Brock Bowers, I have him too high, but I don't care. I'm fine with it. You have Brock Bowers 17th. I have him 11th. I know that that's probably dumb,

but you probably shouldn't take Brock Bowers 11th because at the end of the day, everything I'm about to say he did it one time. Having said that, Brock Bowers are the most catches for a rookie ever, not a receiver, like just a player, like a rookie player. And I know 17th game. Whatever, don't care.

He's a tight end. he literally has more catches than Pooka Nakuwa did when he broke the record for it. And then on top of it, Bowers had 153 targets. That's preposterous. Like, he's a tight end. Literally in the 21st century, the only tight ends who have had 150 targets in one season. Travis Kelsey did it twice. Mark Angers did it once.

That's it once. That's it, Brock Bowers last season. That's not rookie years. That's just ever. And so the idea that Brock Bowers did it immediately, look, you probably shouldn't because, I mean, I mean, it's a new offense. There's so many variables.

Yeah, it's a new offensive coordinator. It's Chip Kelly. They could use him differently. Like, it's a new coach. They probably want to run the ball more. Like, there's a lot of shit. He did it once. Like, Kyle Pitts at 1,000 yards this first season.

We thought he'd be the alpha and omega. Like, so you probably shouldn't, having said that, what if Bowers just gets better and you didn't take? And he's a tight end. And he's just like one of the top six receiver productions in terms of catches and targets in the NFL. And you could have him at tight end and you don't. Bowers is one of the few players in the NFL.

that it just makes you feel good inside to have them in your lineup. You know what I mean? It's just you got, it feels like you got that Trump card that you can play. It's like an ace up your sleeve. I got Bowers. So nothing else matters. Yeah.

What a name. Tighten position is like such a, I hate the tight end position for so many reasons. That's the other thing you're doing is you just being like, I'm out. I'm talking about it. I'm talking about it. I very much agree with you.

I have no problem. with taking Bowers anywhere between, like, whatever. You have them 11th, we have him 17th. I think that's totally fine. The only place where I had a knit to pick with you is you have Brock Bowers at 11, and you have Trey McBride at 26. And to me... I would probably move to the 22.

You're probably right. I think they should... I mean, I think if Brock's 11, Trey should be 12. Like, I really think they should be right next to each other. I mean, if you look at what they did last year, Trey McBride scored 0.02 less points than Brock Bowers per game. and he scored two touchdowns that season. Tray McBride had one less catch in one less game

and 50 less yards in one less game than Brock Bauer. They essentially had the exact same season. Trey McBride just scored two touchdowns. And I'm kind of like, do you feel that much better about the Vegas offense versus the Arizona offense? Do you feel that much better about Gino versus Kyler? Like what is the situation in which you think Brock Bowers

is so much higher than Trey McBride in terms of outcomes? No, it's really fair because of every... I mean, did McBride? He didn't even have a receiving touchdown until like week 17, right? No, he like recovered a fumble in the end zone. That was the only touchdown he had for 15 weeks. No, it's super fair.

I think my concern is I keep, I want to dive in Arizona's offense more this off season. I keep just wondering, like, is Marvin Harrison actually going to be like a really good value and like a lot of trade McBride coming back around? But no, you're right that I think the top tier is Duffy Bowers and McBride. And you can absolutely argue to your point, McBride should actually, is actually a great second round pick. So no, I have no qualms at that and I'll move him up.

But we're being so so amicable and comprehensive. and nice on this pod. Oh, you want to do so. All right. Fine. Here. Let's like, yeah. That's a good point. I'll move him up. That's he knows.

I love you. I'm fucking moving it back, Craig. Fuck you. I'm going to move him further back. I'm going to fucking put him in the fourth round. You think you better than me? Fuck, Tray McGrath. You think you're the only one who could read stats?

Fine. Let me pick something I think Craig's wrong on. Yeah, go ahead. Hammer me. No, I'm not, I was, no, I was going to say something about. Let's see. I'm looking at Craig's rankings here. Let's see.

This is a good thing. Scroll through one guy's rankings and just demolished them. Tyree kills 16th is ridiculous. Shoot, that fear of this all season, we should look through rankings. Like, wrong, wrong.

Wait, you're saying T. Higgins because I have him higher than you. He was the wide receiver four last year. Why the fuck is he low now? What changed? Literally nothing. I don't understand. To be honest,

I even think I have him too low. Like, why is T. Higgins not like 10th? Oh, he got paid. Oh, he's unmotivated now. Exactly, that's the problem. Right. The problem was Joe Burrow needed to get these guys all their money, and now they got like $300 million between them,

and so they're going to, you know, it's just a long time. Like, genuinely, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we always used to rank Mike Evans and Godwin super high. Like, why is T. Higgins outside the top 30? I mean, honestly, it's just these other guys. Just because it feels weird to put even a team like the Bengals two over the other guys' ones. Like, it just feels weird.

Like, and that, and one of the reasons Teagan's finishes that high is he's healthy. And, like, frankly, Puka getting, Puka got hurt. Neighbors got hurt. Nico Collins got hurt. Not for the whole season, but, like, they just miss games. And I think that's kind of what it's about is it's kind of hard to fear. He's going to miss time. But, like, I mean, yeah, I mean, Tegan's is great.

I think the larger conversation is, what? Even then, he's like, yeah. Good, good point. Gee. It's great. How did you have Breeze Hall way higher than all of us. explain. You never seen Lord of the Rings

the two buildings, but there's this thing that happens when they, there's like this spell by this guy and by this dark wizard and they like exile this dark wizard and then guy gets like 50 years younger. And that's Breeze Hall without Aaron Rogers.

Like Bruce Hall with Aaron Rogers just, you know, he basically, Aaron Rogers was vamping all of his youth from Breece Hall and without him, you know, I think he's gonna be all fixed.

But I have Resol 28th, even 41st. Yeah, you couldn't pay me. I'm actually fully prepared with Bruce Hall to have a great, year. He will have a good year. I should probably take him out of my own spite. Okay, fine. This is more fun. You're right. We should just look at other people's rankings. Be like, stupid. Okay, I got it. I got one.

Craig. Yeah. Bull fucking shit. You're going to take, you have Jackson, Smith, and Jigba, ranked over Josh Allen, Lamar, Jaden, Daniels, Jailen Hertz. Bull fucking shit, you actually feel that way. We're talking single, single QB? Yeah. There's no chance that you're going to, you will feel good. about taking Jackson Smith and Jigba over Jaden Daniels, Joshel. Like, there's no chance you're going to be like, hell yeah. I don't want one of them.

We should do, this is like Gestapo level interrogations of each other's, like, rankings might actually sharpen the shit. Yeah, we had an idea here. Yeah. You know what's their point? No, well, look, I think Superflex has poisoned my mind where it's like, I value quarterbacks just so much higher now, even if I'm in a single quarterback League and it's just so fun to have like

fucking Jane Daniels on their team. So no, probably not. If I'm staring at Josh Allen or Jackson through the jigs, I probably would take Josh Allen. James said it's going to win you this league, Craig. What if I don't have any receivers yet? It's the third round. I don't know. Should this be our

previews? It's just absolutely shredding each other's rankings until they're actually really how we would feel. It's May 5th and we're like, why do you have this guy 30 butts ahead of this guy? Dissing your dog, we can call it. it's actually pretty good the palms isn't taking reservations

and I hear that as a new chef oh also you're a fucking dog the last person here I want to talk about unless there's anyone else you guys well actually there's two people left sorry I want to just quickly touch an AJ Brown

who was number two in yards per round last year so on a per play basis AJ Brown's as talented as anybody but the Eagles were just dead last in past attempts. So, I mean, he just got outshined by Sequin. So I'm curious, do you guys have A.J. Brown in this tier with Brian Thomas, neighbors, Nico Puka?

Or are you just like, oh, they're going to run the ball? Or is there a world where A.J. Brown wants to shine. I don't know if you guys saw he proposed to his fianc. He proposed to his girlfriend, brought John Legend in to, to, like, do the piano and everything put on Instagram. It's pretty great. Kind of wondering if A. A.J. Brown's going to, like, try to steal some of the thunderback from Seekwana

the show. But maybe now he's got nothing to play for. Now he doesn't need to impress his fiance. say. Oh, that's a good point. Right. Like now she's committed. So he's like, all right, I can chill now. He got paid. He has his wife. He stopped working out. Stop working out. Yeah.

You have a girlfriend. You know what I mean? No, I think he's, I think he's in that range. Yeah. I think there's a world in which they have to throw more this year, too. I think he's the end of that tier. The defense takes a step back. The last person here, and then we can get to some dumb stuff. Christian McCaffrey, 22nd overall.

I don't think there's a number anyone can put that I'm going to say, good call. You could convince me any ranking for Christian McCaffrey makes sense. This is like a top three most talented player in the NFL when fully healthy who has Achilles tendonitis in both legs. And I don't know what to put on that. Can we wait to rank him until after week one? Is that allowed?

TV. In our industry. Is it kosher to do that? We just don't rank him at all. McCaffrey is one of those guys that how, wherever you draft him and however much you spend, it's wrong. In either direction. Yeah.

But it will be wrong. Just know that. Do you think he's going to be a situation where he falls because everyone's afraid to take him? Or he goes higher than everyone thinks because it's going to be just someone's like, Chris McCaffrey. I'm taking Chris McCaffrey. No, I think he's definitely going to fall. And it's way more likely that he goes for way more, he goes much more cheaply than he should. Is my guess.

Yeah. I mean, dude, everyone is going to be so gun-shy. I mean, the fact that, like, there was kind of no reports about this, and then week one he's out and then he just doesn't play for 10 weeks. Yeah. No one's going to draft this guy. That's not true. That's not true.

Because this is where I'm like, idiot. No. Because some people don't pay attention, Craig. The person who will not draft him ever is the person who had Christian McCaffrey last year. That person is so intimately scarred by how it went down with McCaffrey being scratched someone in football. the other nine or the other 11 people in your league, those people are like, oh, I'm the genius

who's going to get Christian McCaffrey now, and he'll be healthy for me. So that's why, like, D.K., you have McCaffir in 28th. I think that functionally is saying you'll never get him. There's no chance to me that Christian McCaffrey falls past 25 in drafts. I think there's a lot of drafts will be like a top 15, 16 pick, and people are going to be like, wow, I'm getting McCaffrey with my second rounder. And so I'm not saying that's smart.

I don't know. McCaffrey, dude, once you get to the third round, I'm like, dude, he's Christian McCaffrey. That's kind of like sometimes that's just how leagues are Like sometimes, like sometimes the story of the league is just, I took McCaffrey in the third round and I didn't whiff on my first two picks, so I won. Maybe. I mean, this is probably highly dependent on the news that comes out of training camp. If it's like he looks great and everything's fine, he'll probably shoot up the ranks.

But I think it was more famously a story last year. I think it's more than just like the guy who drafted him had the worst year of his life. Everybody kind of knew that this was like one of the biggest fantasy calamities ever. I don't know. I don't know if there are going to be people who now think he's a bargain. I think the answer is right around Bucky Irving. I think that there are some people going to be looking at Bucky Irving and Christian McAfee. Right around Jackson, Smith, and Jigba.

Yeah. In June and Jigba. Yeah. Jackson, Smith, and Jigba or Christian McCaffrey. Do you want one of the best fantasy players in fantasy football history, or do you want like Buckeyehawks Slop? Jackson Smith and Jigba. Yeah.

How old is McCaffrey? It's 29. Yeah. Yeah, he will be in a month. Not one, but two Achilles injuries. I don't know, dude. I don't know It's going to be interesting for sure

Okay Okay This is a good place to start Do you guys feel excited for this fantasy season It was fun to make the ranks to be honest Just reminder of them We're going to have episodes like every week Throughout the whole off season

And we'll touch on dumb stuff too And then we're going to have Stick with us Because we're going to ramp up for the whole Craig Season and then four episodes a week during the season Yeah don't touch that dial Look over there

look at your dial. Don't fucking get near it. Hand away. Find your dial. Stay away. We're going to get to, we have some dumb emails and stuff, but something serious just happened while we were recording. And because it just happened, I'm going to read. So Adam Schaefter just posted that the Ravens released kicker Justin Tucker. They drafted kicker Tyler Loop in the draft. And Adam Schaefter says the organization's continues to insist it's a football decision. I'm going to just read exactly so we don't get sued. A football decision?

What does that mean? I actually think it's more embarrassing to say that. Extremely. So they're releasing him because they're basically saying, yeah, we don't think he's good anymore. It's not because of anything else. We actually care about the accusations. We just, he sucks at football now. That's all we're like.

If he was good, we would be standing by. If he made five more kicks last year, he'd be on the team. Yeah. Why wouldn't they just say considering everything? Just say that. So I'm just going to read this just so we don't get sued. Okay, this is straight up writing from ESPN. The Baltimore banner broke the story.

Tucker has been accused of inappropriate behavior by 16 massage therapists from eight Baltimore spas and wellness centers, according to the Baltimore banner. All the incidents reportedly occurred during sessions from 2012 to 2016. Tucker's first five seasons in the NFL. And again, that's according to ESPN. So, yeah, I actually think it's humiliating for the Ravens to put in this thing just the football reasons. And not only that. Why would you say that?

reading Schefter's tweet again, it says the organization continues to insist. It is a football decision. So people are literally off giving it in the paper that it's throwing them the alley-up of saying, hey, I'm assuming this is not just for football reasons. They're like, no, no, no, no. It is just for football reasons. Do not say that we cared about that. Take that out.

Oh, God. Well, we're on a light subjects here. So Donald Trump had Goodell in the Oval Office today, which looks like the. Palace of Versailles now. And Goodell got to stand next to him because they're announcing that the 2027 drafts going to be in D.C., which is where I live, which I do, they're going to be on the mall. It's a good idea. How does it make you feel that D.C. is completely not set up infrastructure-wise to host NFL

draft. There's no way they can handle this, right? They're expecting like a half a million people to hang out on the mall, apparently. How does it feel huge? Let's recreate this. We're recreating the Forrest Gump scene, right? The mall is very large. I don't know if you know this.

Who's going to meet in the middle? You know the scene? Did you guys watch Forrest Gump? I got to tell you. Sure, sure, sure. I have seen Forrest Gump, but I. Jenny and Forrest. Are you saying when she runs through the water?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe they'll announce a pick that way. I thought you were going to say they were recreating another large gathering in D.C., but no. I can't think. I was like, I was, what, was that Force Gump 2 when they did the J. He was like a integral member of the J6 thing? Forest Cup Forrest Cup inadvertently organized January 6th

Oh Anyway And then Wait hyphids How do you feel about the They announced that the new commander stadium is going to be at the RFK 4 billion bucks To put the stadium downtown

Or not downtown but where it is a mile from the capital So RFK So I don't know if people are interested in this And we can cut this if it's boring but basically, God, a stadium that needs to be remained. RFK, his father, the stadium sits in D.C. In the most incredible real estate in the city, like a crashed outer space, like a spaceship.

It is like this rusted hunk of stadium that just sits across in this golf course named Langston in the 8th Street neighborhood of D.C. That it is like unfathomable that's such a large tract of land like one mile from the capital building could be unused. And so it sat there for like 30 years since Washington stopped. using it. And it's going there. So, you know, it's always a little controversial these stadiums because obviously, you know, the gentrification is going to be out of the, you know, it's getting completely changed that neighborhood. Like I'm sure the, you know, L.A. by the Clippers new stadium and so far that hell Lair is going to change too. So that aspect's going to be different. But,

dude, the landover sucks. I'm sorry to land. I'm sorry to West Moore who's been on the show, but like, dude, the landover stadium is horrible. Northwest Stadium's horrible. It's literally leaking shit. The rails, like the people flying over, the first thing Josh Harrison said to do when he took it over, fix the plumbing. That stadium sucks. They should have a better stadium in the city. It's also, I thought it was an inevitability that stadium would get built because it's a griff factory. All these stadiums are just like catering to the 1%, the 1%, the Yankees. Like, Yankees kind of started it with 2009 that new Yankee Stadium. And like it's catering to like, you know, the corporate class of like Goldman Sachs as clients. They want to take their JP Morgan's clients.

They want to take, put them on the home seats. That's where you make your money is on the richest clientele. Who has more money? Who needs the luxury suites more than the DC stadiums? It's kind of like L.A. where it's like Staples Center. What is it called now? Crypto. That's hilarious. But like CIA needs like a suite at that, you know, they need seats.

Like North or Grumman and like all these defense contractors, like all the lobbying, they need to pay. They will pay anything for these suites at this new stadium. So I think it's going to be extraordinarily profitable, like probably the most profitable one in the country, honestly. When is it supposed to be built? I don't know. Probably like five years.

But the flips, they're paying for a lot of it more than most stadiums, which I think is probably related to the federal. aspect. It's like, you know, the bills can just rob Buffalo blind and no one gives a shit. But like, it will become a thing if Josh Harris pays, you know, if they kind of robbed it because the DC's like federally funded. It's a whole thing. I don't want to pretend it how it works. But long story short, that stadium's probably going to be really cool. It will definitely be an incredible grift because it's going to be like three quarters of a mile from actual like the literal capital building. But overall, it's cool for the city. I do think it's cool that the city is going to get that

stadium. How far is the current stadium from DC? Oh, no, no. It is in the city. It's on the water. Like I could walk to it from, I am in preys, I am, I live like 10 blocks to the White House. I could walk to the stadium in 40 minutes. I could walk there. Like it is like, it is more or less walkable for most people who live in DC. Not where they currently play. Oh, no, where they currently play. Oh, my God. It's horrible. It's like an hour drive. Oh, is it? Okay. But it's like one of those. It's like Santa Clara, Craig. Do we have a word for a drive when you get to a stadium where it's like an hour to get there? But then you're like there and it's like another 30 minutes to get in. Sofi? We call that the Sylphi. Yeah. Like, like.

Like you're there. You can see the building, but you're like 40 minutes away. It's like that. Yeah, it'll be fun. Going to the Super Bowl next year. I've never been to the Niners new stadium in Santa Clara, but it's not close to San Francisco. No.

No. So, I don't know. Do we want to keep, did anyone give a shit about anything I just said? I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Cool. I also have to shout out Goodell standing next to Trump in the Oval Office,

just once again doing the Homer Simpson meme into the hedges. And Trump says, literally I'm quoting, Donald Trump. The courts have all of a sudden, out of nowhere, said maybe you have to have trials, end quote. And then Kutel starts like shuffling out of the frame. Incredible. Anyway, while we're here, I just want to read from Pro Football Talk. Bill Belichick, whose book is coming out this week.

I think this is probably the big news of the week. So we're recorded Monday, May 5th. Belichick's book comes out tomorrow, May 6th. And Belichick seemed to... What's it called? Oh, God. It's the art of winning. It's held on.

Let me... You know what's funny? He told, in that interview, that CBS interview, he said he had other ideas for the title, but like his publishing team or whatever, like went away with it because they were too boring. His titles were so funny. It was like football. Really? Yes. So good.

Oh, I wish I could find it. Wait, pull it up, pull it up. The real title is the art of winning. And, but obviously, the funny thing that I saw was Belichick seems apparently knows his publicity plan is it working. He's looking for outside PR help. My title choice would have been how I did my job. How I did my job? Who talked him out of that?

How I did my job is so good. How I did my job. I will say, someone speculated that Jordan Hudson ghost wrote the book. Yeah. I don't know. I thought, I will say, for like a class project, like a book report. Yeah, it was for Masters. I will say, though, the Jordan Hudson thing, the more I keep thinking about it,

I kind of forgot that Birchina Juryan, who's worked for the Patriots, kind of ran Bill Belichick's life for like 20 years, and now he works for Bill O'Brien. And I kind of think Belichick just needed someone like that. And that's kind of where we're at. She clearly still supports him wearing sweaters filled with holes. Dude, the whole, it was so bad. This brand, Craig?

Yeah, she's okay with that. Yeah. That's a non-negotiable for Bill. We'll see. I have the book coming tomorrow. Maybe I'll read it. I'll give you guys a review. I'll try to find the, yeah, things that should have been the title.

Should we do like reading time and you just read a chapter out loud to the audience at the other of your show? Oh, that's good. We could bank it. That's good. I'll do a Belichick impression. Yeah. It's a tease to pay for the audiobook tier at Spotify. Can I give a random also take while we're here?

Mm-hmm. Please. We need a new word than boyfriend. Like in English, husband and wife, if you engage your fiancé, they're a boyfriend. say there is no distinction between a 13 year old boy dating a 13 year old girl and a 74 year old Bill Belichick

like he's my boyfriend. Well there are a lot of words. There are a lot of words for it. Partner. Partner. Okay, but partner is like a level of like it's hard enough to define the relationship these days. Partner is like a serious thing. There is no like I think this is a thing like a lot of people go through because it's like

so people, you know, divorce rates are obviously it's different than it was 100 years ago. I have a lot of friends who's like, parents get divorced and then like, oh yeah, this is my dad's girlfriend. And she's like 71. My dad's friend who is a girl. You know what I mean?

Right, right. Like, we need a new word for this. Paramore. Lover. That's pretty good, actually. Pardner. No, that's less sexual, actually. But partner, you know what I mean?

No, I said, partner. Like you, if you like Western, like, Old West. That doesn't really work. Pardoner? So you're basically like we can't be old and have a boyfriend or a girlfriend is what you're saying. Well, you're a man. You're not a boy.

You're not a boy. You're saying you're a man. You're getting social security. If you're eligible for AARP, you're not a boy or a girl. Lady friend. Lady friend's creepy. Lady friend is tough. Anyway, I can't be alone on this.

Email three in fantasy football. better idea. Okay. A couple emails. I know I'm just ranting now. Seamos from Barry. B. B. B. Berry. Barry writes, Bear. B. Bear guy. Barry writes, uh, just, just ate three eggs, two rice cakes with peanut butter, cinnamon,

ginger, and honey along with the granola bar for breakfast. Ooh, okay. I like that. Just trying out, do we want breakfast, you know, what people eat for breakfast and the thing? Oh, right, right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Barry says, was listening to the 20-25 Rookie Dynasty episode, Travis Hunter Conversation. Maybe think,

if Travis Sunner is in your lineup as a receiver and gets a pick six as a cornerback, do you get the six points of the touchdown? Should you? You don't, but you should. Yeah. I think you should. Yeah. I think you might have to edit the role so he can.

You should. If your player scores a touchdown, you should get it. Getting in the end zone. 100%. Because, like, if you have a receiver who's returning punts and he scores a touchdown, you get that touchdown. Yeah. That's not on offense. Like, what's the difference?

I agree. Well, that was easy. It was mostly I wanted to do the breakfast thing. Okay. This is an important thing. This is from Caleb. C-bone. Is it with a C or a K? Well, that's what it's about. He's a C.

So I was talking last week, I was arguing that Caleb Johnson, the Iowa running back to Steelers drafted, would like not be that cool of a player if his name was Caleb with a C. But is Caleb C. I'm going to be honest. Hyphitz called me the other day because he was trying to decide between Caleb Johnson and somebody else in a dynasty draft. And he kept saying,

Caleb Johnson. I was like, who is Caleb Johnson? Because I was picturing it with a C. Dude, I do that, too. I literally, I'm like, when I'm not reading it, I lose track of who this person is. Who is that? My brain, certainly, I definitely search it for names in my brain with like Command F and my brain. So when Craig

said Eric Burns earlier, I looked like B-U-R-N-S, like Corbin Burns, and I was like, and then I googled it. It was like, oh, Eric Burns at the I remember this guy. Anyway, yeah, no, Caleb. Anyway, so Caleb wrote in, finally something I can weigh in on. I want to confirm, as I am a Caleb with a C,

that Danny High Fitz is right about Caleb with a K being way cooler. I went to high school with another Caleb. He was named Caleb with a K. I am Caleb at C. I know. That guy was probably rad. Caleb with a C writes, even though I was the better athlete,

an overall nicer person. Okay, so maybe he wasn't red. Okay. Caleb with a K swept up with all the tens in our school while I sat on the outskirts. Swept up with all the tens. Caleb, see, writes, even the girl I dated for two years, started talking to Caleb with a K while I was with her. I legitimately considered changing my name to Caleb with a K.

She's like, Caleb. She's like, C-bone, I'm sorry, but. there's something about the K. That sounds like a Seinfeld episode. It does. It does. There's something about the K. So Caleb with a K

had Riz is what we're saying here. Oh yeah. We should have definitive rankings of all the names that can be spelled different ways, like Jeff and Jeff. Like we should come up with rankings of all of them.

Yeah, I like that. Like Jeff, J-E-F-F, right? That's, I mean, rather than G-E-O-F. Yeah, I think so. Unfortunately, like, that's just, those are the brakes.

Them's the brakes. Them's the brakes. This one's from Jim. Jim's. I don't know, Jim. We got an email, Jim. Jimmy. Oh, do we?

Jim writes last week's episode where we, D.K. said, Chapel Roan and Craig recommended the song. Apparently, we did the exact same thing three months ago. Yeah, yeah, we do this all the time. Our lives have been a thousand times, even by us. Yeah, exactly. So Jim writes a few months ago, D. Time is a flat circle. Yeah.

It had to have been more than a few months ago. This had to have been like nine months ago. A while. A few could be anything. It felt very familiar. I'll say that. D.K. shouts out Chaparone. So this is Jim's email.

Craig mentioned that he loved the Chaparone song, Super Graphic, Ultramar Modern Girl. So I listened to that song. The next day, I was able to significantly impress a girl by telling her that I like that song. Nice. Which is definitely a less popular one.

We're still together, and it's going well. And I'm pretty sure at least a portion of it is due to Craig being a wingman from a bar, much appreciated brother I got you and look this gym is his name is spelled with a G

and he's still doing well so that's good good for him Should we bring up Chapo Rone again in like three months? Yeah every time we mentioned Chaparrow Spam it out

An angel gets his wings People emailed us Did we miss the gorilla conversation thing didn't we? I'm so sorry I had that last time I was going to talk about it and we didn't

and would have been perfect timing and now we're weekly and it feels like we're trying hard You know, can a hundred guys kill a gorilla? Yeah, yeah. What was the argument? Can a hundred guys fight a gorilla? A hundred people kill a gorilla.

Who wins? It was men. 100 men kill a gorilla. Right? Wasn't it men? It was men. Yeah. A hundred men kill a gorilla.

The answer to that is yes. Yeah. Obviously, yes. I can't believe. A hundred people. Yeah, 100 people can kill it. I think the only argument that gets me is if you think that the gorilla killing four people, the other 96, just fuck the lemons in bail.

Yeah, right. There's an implicit understanding that like everyone is in this till the end. Like everyone is, no one is going to bail. Yeah, but what if what about, okay, so you have seven or eight guys fighting the girl at one time and then they're all dead. You can only, you can't fight a hundred to one. It's like, but six or seven out of time. But the way I think of it is if you just get three guys on one leg and three guys in the other leg and three guys in one arm and three guys in the other arm. Can you physically do that though?

I feel like you go out of his eyes. You have, you have like, you, you, you. bumrush him with 10 right at once and then you have another guy sneak around the back claw out his eyes. Flake him. Exactly. It's like we're going to have you do that. You're going to claw out his eyes.

They why I mean? I don't want to do that. Craig, I'd claw on horrible. You jump up on his back like your leg onus and claw his eyes. I also think the gorilla would get tired. Those are big animals. They require life energy. That's real. think they would win. I think the

girl would win. You think the gorilla would be to 100 people like John Wick? Yes. No way. 100? I guess there is still room to go on this conversation. I agree. The guerrillas are about 10 times stronger than you. So

yeah, but that's the thing. I feel like you can't get more about 10 guys on a gorilla at a time and he's going to be murdering you. It's just per let like think about just grabbing the per let like just per limb. I don't think logistically you're going to get three guys. able to get on a leg at the same time. It's a great plan, but once you get punched in the face,

it's like Mike Tyson. Everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face. When you're getting your neck bit by a gorilla and blood's splaying everywhere, you're not going to be able to grab anything. It's too slippery. I genuinely think the gorilla does not have the stamina to fight a hundred.

I mean, the idea that the gorilla could kill, I mean, think about the girl killing 50 people. The stamina. Could the real kill another? Dude, if it's one thing I learned when I was in Africa, I said these animals, when they hunt, they have to rest for a long time. It's why they eat these big meat. Like, they have to sit and sleep for, like, they sleep most of the day.

Like, lions mostly just sleep. And then they get up and hunt, and it requires so much energy. These are, like, hundreds of hundreds of thousands of pounds of pounds. Their hunts are miles long. I know, but I'm just saying, like, a hundred human beings, a gorilla killing a hundred people is so much work and energy. I don't know if it could do that. Should we do a poll? would be the last people

to talk about this the last is a finding poll no that's the thing it's weird like the final one everyone's heard about this for a week

and you're tired of it like now you can vote now you everyone's heard all the sides there is to hear yeah is it a hundred

of our greatest warriors or is it like a hundred regular guys you don't get the pink you know what's bad I feel like if it's a hundred regular guys the guerrillas

cleaned it up we got beat to it by the team accounts like the fucking giants had they're like can we have a hundred dextral lawances

and it's like no you cannot have a hundred extra laurances getting 100 days. If you could handpick the people. Take some hill. What is the smallest number of people

that could beat the gorilla if you could handpick? Oh, oh, like UFC fighters? You can take it, like, what's the lowest amount of people if you hand-selected them that you think could kill the gorilla? I think like 10 Navy SEALs, no question. Navy SEALs, no, come on. I mean, people who are super trained to kill, because they're trained to kill with fucking guns and knives

and knives. And hands. Not their... I mean, okay, sure. They have no idea what to do without that stuff. No, they do, but I'm... Okay.

They're not UFC fighter. I think a UFC fighter would beat a Navy SEAL in a fight. Sure. So I'd rather have a UFC fighter. Yeah, but UFC, it's like you can't go for the eyes or the nuts. And I think Navy SEAL is gonna, you know,

you're gonna do that real quick. UFC Navy SEAL combo, I think, I think 12 people who like really know, I think they're gonna be able to do it. This is a funny. conversation actually. Craig, what is your answer?

Ten Navy Seals versus a gorilla. I'd take the gorilla. Every time. Every time. I could do it. They like know what they're doing. I think a huge part of the 100 needing the 100 is people are just fucking gibronies. They don't know what to do.

Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, but also are the Navy SEALs allowed to plan? I think this exercise is like, yes, they're going to know what to do. I thought you're just like dropped into a like a pit with a gorilla. They can make a plan. Not if the girl is angry I feel like Craig is changing his answer here Well there's 100 verse 10 is a big difference to me

Sure I think a small group of highly trained Highly organized people is better than like a hundred Completely untrained people Yeah I guess do you think 10 Navy SEALs would kill 100 men Probably No no no That's because that's implying they could win one on 10

No way No fucking one. Maybe. This is like it's just an elaborate version of that question. If you see that video of the soccer, with three pro soccer players versus 200 children. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should do a segment where like every week we talk about a trend

that took place a month ago. What color is it? It should be called like under a rock or something. I just got back from Europe or something. Got back from my darkness retreat. That's true. We just like, this is honestly appropriate. It's like D.K. Discovering Sabrina Carpenter like a month ago and singing his best of himself.

Yeah. Like on the year anniversary of that like is the dress white and gold or blue and black or whatever? Like we just do that a year later. I like it. I like that. That's actually email us things we should talk about from like previous social media phenomenons. What was the general consensus based on the last week of conversations that 100 men could be a gorilla? I think yes.

You know what I want to hear from the people who say there's like they can't? I want to know what the fucking number is. You say a hundred can't. I want to know what number you think can. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe a hundred could. I don't know.

If they all jumped on at the exact same time. It's like a Batman movie. It's kind of like you're just waiting to get killed. What if they just squished it? You know that scene in Pine Avenue Express when Seth Rogen like fucking flies off the second railing onto that lady? Death from above. A hundred of them can do that. If we got a hundred guys

like parachuting in and landing on the grill at the exact same time, then I think that might work. I don't think that. Scolition, you drop. Okay, email is to vote in this poll on Spotify. Emails from your fantasy football at e-mail.com. Other like really old internet arguments we should have

from like that we're super late on. Did you guys? What was your opinion on the dress? I never saw the blue and black. I saw blue and black, I think. I don't think, I think the answer of what happened with your eyes, I don't think that changes over time, right? It's just like it's the same.

It's just how you're wired in your brain with your eyes. Yeah, that wasn't really an argument. That was just more of a interesting, scientific fact. Yeah. This is from James. Jimmy. Jim. Jay Bow.

Speaking of things were late to, James is like, I'm, Jay Bones. Speaking of things are late to, James was like, I don't really late on this, but I had a good one. And he says that like parents line. kids. The first time I ever had to use a handicapped bathroom stall, I came out and as a child and I asked my dad, hey, what are the bars on the side of the walls for in the stall?

And my dad says with zero hesitation, oh, those are the push bars. You know, sometimes you have poop, but it's trouble coming out and you need to push. So those bars, you grab onto so you can push even harder. And so you save those, that stall for when you have serious poops. Flash forward. Honestly? Yeah. Maybe does the dad actually believe that maybe? I feel like you might. I don't know. But five-year-olds, James says to five-year-old me that checked out. Flash forward field trip years later,

I'm waiting for a stall. All the other ones are open except the handicapped stall. My friend's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I have to use the push stall. I have a serious poop. And his friends never let him forget it. That's not, I mean, that guy was kind of basically on the squatty potty corner before they'd even invented. Yeah. That's essentially what he was

making the case for. Yeah. I thought that was Have you guys ever used a squatty potty? I have. Yeah. I got to say they make a difference. They do. It does change the form.

It does change the trajectory. Yeah, we should all be pooping from a catcher's position, really. It's true. All about denim angles. It really is different. Give it a shot. Yeah. How deep do we want to go into this?

Well, not too deep. I don't know if I should get wet. But yeah. Oh. Can I run one other thing by you guys that happened me this weekend? This water's cold. and deep. Best joke ever.

Craig's dad. Craig's dad does that every time he's next to me. Yeah, he's next to me at a urinal. He always goes like three seconds into the pee. This water's cold. And then I laugh.

And he goes, and deep. I think about that every time I go to urinal now, Craig. It plays. It always plays. Use it on your kids. It's great.

It's honestly such like a, it's like a flesh joke. And deep. You know what I mean? It's like such an 80s cheesy tad joke. This water's cold. And it works every time because it's funny. And then it's like, even though they know it's coming, it still works.

Yeah. All right. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, everyone for listening.

Email surrogate Fantasy Football at gmail.com. What did we want? Oh, I don't. What do we want? The gorilla, people vote on the gorilla thing. Oh, yeah, vote in the gorilla poll. and then email us. Oh, oh, did we want names that are spelled differently?

No, we just talked about this. We're going to rank the names and how they're spelled. Yeah, give us a list of names that are spelled differently, and then we'll rank them. Okay. There was, and people laid a listen to the show. They probably remember. No, that's fine.

Yeah, do that too. Whatever Craig said, sure. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you, Sabrina Carpenter. Someone I have definitely never shouted up. before you know. Oh my God. You should have just said Chapel Rohn again. Dude, Sabrina Carpenter was at S&L this week. Craig? Do you have a favorite Chappelrone song?

Dude, super graphic ultra-modern song? That's a good one. Sabrina Carpenter is really trying to make herself an S&L personality. She's really pushing. Yeah. I think of the of the pop girlies right now, I think Sabrina Carpenter is the one most like interested in being like famous. Yes, definitely. I agree with that. Everybody, you have to pick a lane. You know what I mean? Like, Chapel is going the more like alternative kind of like fuck the man. And Sabrina is like going full like A-lister.

I'm going to be on screen doing everything. She's going to be like hosting New Year's Eve's and like stuff. Like she's going to do everything. Yes. I mean, she was an actor. You know, Chapel Rhone wasn't. Yeah. I just associate Sabrina Carpenter with the movie, anyone but you.

What? Why? Because wasn't there, I think there was one of her songs in that movie. Oh, really? maybe I'm wrong. I don't know, but I associated. Let's check. Like, Unwritten, I remember, was the big song in that movie, right?

That one, too, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm looking at it up right now. I did not see anyone but you. Did you like the plot, D.K.? Yeah, it was a great plot. Great actors. You only watched it for the plot.

You watched it for the plot? Amazing actors. You know, they put on stellar performances. No, it's one of those movies that's just like, I'm going to go and enjoy the scenery in Australia with very attractive people. Enjoy the scenery. Yeah.

Yeah. Sabrina Carpenter, not on that album. Olivia Rodriguez. Bad idea. Right. So not Sabrina Carpenter nor Chapel Rhone. You are now talking about. I like not.

Look, we all have different experiences in our house. I don't know where I got that. I think Olivia Rodriguez with the pop girl is she's the one who's clearly like a writer. Like she's clearly like writing. You know what I mean? And I think Billy Elish loves like, oh, I think she is the big. appreciation for like music is Billy I yeah Rodriguez is the writer but

Billy I're in a good spot yeah we're a great spot with young pop stars we're being ushered into a new era we're in safe hands it's like what they always says about the NBA they're like yeah the league's in good hands right pop is in good hands yeah speaking of warriors they did it oh yeah jar dude I my guys I got to tell you

what the fuck is up with Draymond hating people in the face he can't help himself dude I It's actually, I got to tell you, the game five of the Rockets Warriors series, and I think most people probably know, but obviously Draymond has like this crazy history of just lightly beating the shit out of people on court, basically. Just kicking people in the balls and hitting people in the face. The most famous one ever perhaps is Rudy Gobert, who they're now playing. I think Draymond bothers me deep down because I think that's how I know I want to play basketball. Is like exactly like, I mean, that is actually how you play. Yeah.

from everything I've heard that is how you play. Yeah. I feel like your dream has come true because that is how you play. Yeah. You and dream on are the same. Diving at people's shins. There's no differences in your game. Somebody is, I don't remember who said it.

Somebody explained. If it's playing basketball, just diving at someone's shins in a rec league game. Yeah. He's playing the wrong sport. It's a fucking lose ball. The cable guy. I just picture. Hyfitz is the cable guy.

Do you guys know that scene? Jim Carrey from the cable guy he's just like a fucking maniac I'm the basketball court it took me a long time it took me a long time to realize that I treated loose balls like they were fumbles

and that other people did not touch my puck I never really understood why everyone was so mad about that and I kind of realized years later it's like oh it's not a fumble I guess just imagine high fits can like hear like a soundtrack

in his head and everyone else. It's just like the squeaks from the floor and stuff. And everyone's just like, what the fuck is this guy doing? No, honestly, I have a heavy tread. You know, I got my feet,

I have like really flat feet. And I kind of clop like a Clydesdale about all the elegance. So I actually shout out Richie Bozac. Clop. Shout out Richie Bozick once who I once, I once deflected, like he had a transition like,

you know, one of them like, you know how I'll like pick up like you're doing full court. If you're like ahead enough on a fast break, people don't really run for you. You know what I mean? He went out of an easy, like full court layout and I just

started running after him. I was like 30 feet behind him but he heard me coming like I was Cam Chancellor and he missed the layup because my footsteps were so loud he thought I was right behind him Hyvitz is like Terry Tate the office linebacker

that's what he's like on about people are like I'd rather just not at the ball oh my god oh yeah it's like the mirror like you know objected closer that it appears. I love D.K. naming Sabrina Carpenter because he thought she was in anyone video and it wasn't right.

You know what? Look, I'm really, really highly connected to current events in pop culture. And you've watched that movie, what, 10 times now? Just a couple scenes? Yeah, yeah. Just a couple scenes?

Yeah, you know, actually you can just watch the highlights on Mr. Scan or whatever. There's a shower scene. That's really good. Goodbye, everyone.